#now i'm an adult. i'm a member of society who needs to be able to navigate the spaces of society.

[karanseraph]

I don't really remember having bullies.

I remember there existing kids who were not my small circle of friends and all the people who ignored me.

The people I most had trouble with in youth were older family members forcing me to go to school and teachers calling me out for my nature or behaviours and giving me busy work. Especially that one (woman) teacher who told me and a small group of peer girls that it was OK girls were not good at math.

I probably was not neurotypical but we didn't have good words for that (there was the r slur but I don't recall it being applied to me).

Anyway, I had a belief that there might be more and less 'cool' people in my generation, but that even the less cool people weren't like evil. They were just like...kids who didn't have the phase of reading Camus or something.

But now I feel like there's people my age who were typical enough that they didn't *HAVE* to question adults and authority because the system kinda seemed to work for them at the time. They didn't feel constantly pressured to conform or to live up to a perceived 'potential', so they were able (I mean at least some, not everyone) to take on these concepts that authority is good and there's no need to question what we're told.

While I had to question and look for my own answers and sought speculative fiction where different societies were explored just to get through life.

So now I'm smart and critical and wondering why everyone isn't.

Some of them probably hit difficulties later in life. And they *started* wondering why things didn't work for them like they used to.

And someone whispers (at first) it's those trans people or the women, or the immigrants....

And some percent still isn't used to questioning so they can fall into believing the whispers. Oh, yeah, I heard there's someone to blame for why I am not succeeding in this society.

And they don't push and question deeper and realize a lot of society is broken, or exploitive by design, or built on old prejudices...or all of these things.

[bubble-you]

i didn't dress like anything recognisable as a respectable figure -- amorphous GNC alone in a park with her wild dog. i wore a collar and the black cargo pants which i belatedly realised makes me look militant, as if i could have a gun in my pocket. the jacket is a men's jacket, it was a gift to me. and i hadn't brushed my hair, i was walking my dog. if i had looked like a white woman like she is she would at least have said 'excuse me' before talking to me, before overwhelming me with demands i did not have the time to explain why i was not willing to fulfill and not in the habit of fulfilling, and explain that i was not in the habit of obeying orders from random strangers that are not immediately reasonable, and all while doing things that look a lot like kicking my dog. but aren't. she was just pushing the dog with her foot, but you'd be annoyed nonetheless -- nobody does that here. but being a white woman wouldn't stop me from daydreaming out on the playground, deep in my thoughts -- i'd still have to be aware of my body language and make distance from other people. being a white autistic woman i imagine i'd just look fey. i really don't know white women well and it's not that i desperately *want* to, but they're unavoidable in this country and i want to stop othering them -- do you know, when she talked to me i immediately thought her voice was demanding and bossy and i immediately did have a thought about the karen stereotype but it is harmful to think of stereotypes and act on them and all in all i was just gonna walk away and then she's like 'you're not gonna put on the leash'? 'don't you know this isn't a dog-off-leash area?' yes but we come here all the time, this little playground and surrounding greens were very important to me when i was sick and couldn't walk far but sure you don't know that and we come here to throw the ball all the time i'm not going to be evicted out of my favourite spot for some stranger in the 5-10 seconds she was talking to me -- get off my back! and we come here anyways, so i shot back something like yeah why don't you report us then? and as an afab i don't usually have this experience but as i have short hair now and all this masculine clothing and also my voice is pretty deep i think i fucking scared her. like okay maybe you were having a bad day -- can you not get off my back? i know my dog. she was just gonna come sniff the hem of your dress and then move on. stop talking to me and maybe i could get out of your hair. if she was aggressive i wouldn't let her around people. granted, my dog looks scarier to strangers than she looks to me. like fine maybe you clocked me from afar hanging around a playground with no kids on it and immediately went isn't that dangerous? you're not supposed to be on a kids' playground? and i have no retort for that, it is by council policy true, but where else am i supposed to sit and hang with my dog, walking distance from my house? and yes i'm not sick *anymore* so i could go to a different park. so yeah actually this stranger who i've never seen before is gonna change my behaviour i guess, despite how stubborn i felt in the moment. which my PDA hates. i don't personally know what it's like to be catcalled but i imagine this child-conscious woman is a mother and probably conventionally femme and is hyperaware of things like strange men-like figures hanging around dressed in black and acting ... you know, absorbed in their own heads, like some people are -- but you would be much more comfortable around a stranger who was aware of their surroundings and behaved accordingly. i don't like that presenting masculine makes me look like i should be treated with suspicion, that not conforming, not looking like something familiar and safe means i should treat myself as if i were a threat. it's new to me. i know men surely experience this all the time.

she really did pull out her phone and -- i don't know if she turned the camera on but -- she really did start speaking as if she was recording for facebook live, as if she were making a tiktok -- explaining the context from her perspective, that this person couldn't control their dog and they're on a playground and see? see they're still not on leash. and grr it's not fair that she can speak so much faster than me but i guess i would feel sadder if she was just intimidated by me and ran off. she has the sense of being used to having authority -- like she's ordering her kids or some people around. like okay you're having a bad day. but out in the park you are not entitled to authority over others, in ways that poc immigrants do not feel entitled to. and maybe i was fixated on newly immigrated issues that morning due to the fact that i'm a second generation immigrant and that's -- unchangeably, immutably -- part of my identity, and defines which social circles i belong to. i'm not the victim -- i think we both partly acted unreasonably and partly acted reasonably-- but after that encounter my hands trembled and i could feel my cortisol spiking. who would have thought some woman would have the same intimidating defensive reaction as a guy who would immediately pick a fight if you provoked him. honestly, good for her, power to her, but it means from now on i need to start avoiding white women. stickler to the rules in ways that the majority in this suburb are not. would absolutely join a HOA if those existed here. i did *not* want to go viral on tiktok in a biased fear-fuelled ragebait story. does *not* look good for the pocs or gncs. not a fan of someone being afraid of me -- but unfortunately this is part of my personality, i *am* loud and i do get irritable and overwhelmed easily and my energy does come out in forms that can be hurtful, and only recently did i start to look into how to manage these patterns so as to not hurt people in my life.

[seirei-bh]

About Rlain x Renarin future relationship

I'm so excited to see scenes of Rlain and Renarin in SA5! I can't stop thinking about them lately.

I want to see how they realize about their romantic feelings for each other, their doubts, insecurities, how they will declare their love for each other, etc. I think it will be something very beautiful. Also, since this is the first time we are going to see a homosexual relationship between two important characters in a Sanderson book, I'm very curious to know how the author will handle it in the story. Sometimes Sanderson isn't very good at writing romance, but there are some really well-written relationships in his stories! Like Susebron x Siri, Dalinar x Navani, Adolin x Shallan, Wax x Steris… so I think he will do a good job.

Besides! It will be the first time we see a romantic relationship between a listener/singer and a human! That will surely be a scandal in Alethi society and for the singers society as well. I'd like to see if the other characters are able to accept it, how they will treat them, and if they have problems, how Rlain and Renarin will confront them to defend their love and will be one of the definitive proofs that the collaboration between both races is possible, helping both peoples to alienate each other in one.

They both have a lot in common being reserved people, sometimes pushed aside as weirdos by others, and they're both now Truthwatchers, so there's a lot of potential there to explore here, in how much they're able to understand each other. Not to mention that they've already a solid friendship as members of Bridge 4, which will make their future relationship develop a stronger bond.

I'd love to see a scene in later books of Renarin learning the rhythms so he can show his feelings of love through songs and sounds and to undertand the way singers comunicate their feelings, and Rlain also showing affection intimately in ways they can both feel comfortable. From what we've seen so far, they seem to be a couple who could have such a great emotional connection that they would be able to understand each other without the need for words and even show each other affection without too much carnal need. I think all this could be very interesting.

And another important fact! Renarin is supposed to be the main POV in book 7, after the 10 year time skip, so if Rlain survives (pls!) that means we could read romantic scenes of them already being mature adults, and probably married! And we can also get more scenes about them in flashbacks! I really want to see all this. If they are written well they have the potential to be one of the best couples in the Cosmere, and oh I can't wait to see it!

[xjulixred45x]

Ling Yao x Abused Reader

This is technically the last part of a series that my sister had asked me for at the beginning of my account but that I forgot over time and I apologize for that (I may write on my own about this fandoms in the future I have several ideas but now I'm going with this).

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: female

Warnings: Mentions of child marriage, implications of physical and mental abuse, bad parents, egregious and alarming age difference, Hurt-Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending.

To be fair, these two already knew each other in Xing.

(reader) is the only daughter of the war secretary of one of the many clans that were under the emperor's orders, the Han Clan.

But despite this, her father was not very interested in teaching her his work or making her stand out in general, he wanted her to become a "proper society lady" so he forbade her to come into contact with activities that could distract her from that task.

Her mother teach her, giving exhaustive lessons in etiquette, posture, manners, preparing tea and giving it a try (even if you didn't like it, since according to her "that would please your future husband"), teaching cooking, throwing dishes bad things in the trash or your head, etc.

Your parents prohibited or banned any type of material or activity that incited rebellion or that seemed "inappropriate for a girl." Learn to fight? "Boys don't like girls to have muscles" Politics? "Keep quiet you look prettier" Any type of physical activity that was not related to what is traditionally feminine? "It's not attractive to be running around like a beast."

And sometimes it was just too boring.

So you went out to see REALLY interesting things, like fights!

That's how you initially met Ling.

You both knew each other superficially through your parents, but when you started showing up to watch the Yao Clan's training, he became curious.

From time to time Ling would go straight to talk to you, thinking that maybe you wanted to join the fighting practices, but you couldn't really risk getting caught, so you would just talk or watch the other clan members train.

You went to Ling when you needed a break from the "lady" life your parents imposed on you. It was very liberating.

Ling, even at a young age, understood that kind of pressure quite well, not only having to fit into the mold but also having to constantly compete with his brothers and sisters.

Thanks to this they made friends quite quickly. You run away a lot more often just to be able to play with him. He was the only boy your age you REALLY got along with after all.

Your parents, even if they were against it, couldn't do much once you stepped on Yao land or found out WHO you were playing with, so it was AMAZING for you to finally be a girl.

Ling was more about acting before thinking, while trying to keep a cooler head, which made for a fun dynamic to watch.

At some point you even gave in and Ling taught you some basic fighting moves! Nothing great but at least it was a lot more fun than your dance classes.

Ling would even secretly pass you books about politics or books that your parents had forbidden you to read (things that you shared very lightly) and you would finish them in DAYS (but not without first giving Ling a kiss on the cheek as compensation, for his delight).

I think it's a little obvious that Ling may or may not have had a case of a childhood/youth crush on (reader) while they were growing up, but after a certain...situation, he didn't have the chance to really realize it.

Because one day (reader) simply disappeared.

She stopped going to training, she didn't go to the places where one normally found her to play, she stopped showing up.

What Ling didn't know was that (Reader)'s family had come up with an idea to end this rebellious phase and benefit once and for all now that she was finally of age.

Arrange a marriage, with the son of the emperor of the Han Clan...he was an adult and you were just a teenager.

Ling only found out out of mere courtesy of the clan.

And for a couple of months it was a pain trying to contact you. Not because he didn't want to! But because your family (and new "husband") made it very difficult.

The clans themselves had a complicated relationship with each other, after the emperor get sick it was even worse. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't risk generating even more conflict.

Although he had a chance to see her before he had to travel to Amestris, at a "family meeting" where the Han clan was.

Where would it be (reader)

....part of him is grateful he went and part of him wishes he hadn't.

Because when Ling came and looked for (reader) and found her, it was like seeing a ghost.

(reader) had become somewhat taller in recent months, she was well dressed and with several capes of makeup on her face, with a vacant and empty look, quite distant from the happy and unrestrained version.

She also didn't talk much before Ling arrived. Or even when he arrived, but at least her expression changed, that made Ling feel a little better.

Luckily her husband was busy enough getting into discussions about the country's military with his other brothers that he didn't notice Ling quite close to his "wife."

Despite everything, Ling was happy to see her being just as friendly, but quite tired, they took the opportunity to catch up.

(Reader)'s husband...could be worse. According to her. It wasn't easy, it's complicated, he got angry very easily and his friends are... shameless. but (reader) had been able to survive the situation well thanks to certain charms.

Even if (reader) is trying VERY hard to maintain control, Ling can see the anguish in all of this. They comfort each other in the situation.

The time before Ling goes to seek immortality, he spends it making small secret visits to the Han house or rather, visiting (Reader).

Try to make them have good memories before you don't see each other for a while :')

Imagine Ling drops the "I used to have a GIANT crush on you when we were kids" bomb☠️

During much of her trip in Amestris Ling thinks about (reader), sometimes she even buys things that she thinks she might like there (accessories, a book, things like that).

I can even see Greed making fun of him for that when it takes over his body☠️

When he eventually returns to Xing, he is mentally preparing to see (female reader). By coming up with a plan, you may not be able to help (reader) directly, but you can definitely do it externally.

(Reader) is DEFINITELY very surprised when Ling arrives not only completely changed, without Wu, and with his sister from the Chang Clan, but also comes with IMMORTALITY ITSELF...he achieved it..

All the commotion of Ling's arrival and her triumph over her other brothers means that (reader)'s husband does not notice when she sneaks away, wanting to have a talk with Ling.

They don't manage to say much to each other, precisely because of the rush and urgency of discussing Ling's appointment, but at least she manages to give him a big welcoming hug, telling him that she misses him and that she's glad he's okay.

Ling freezes for a solid second before returning the hug tightly and pulling away. Temporarily.

(female reader) is also present when he is declared the new emperor some time later.

Knowing Ling, he, May and Lan Fan will probably look for incriminating evidence of adultery on the part of (reader)'s husband so she can divorce him without problems. They leave the evidence "anonymously" but (reader) can recognize Ling/Lan Fan's writing patterns very well.

Ling and (Reader) keep seeing each other at family events, which is hilariously awkward for almost everyone but them, since no one can REALLY say anything to Ling now that he's the emperor, not even (Reader)'s husband, who He only stands on the sidelines while his wife and half-brother catch up on the adventure he had in Amestris.

When (Reader) decides to divorce of her own free will, guess who makes it official? ;)

If we look at their current relationship, it's better than either of them would expect!

Ling was pretty depressed after Amestris, Wu and Greed, but at least (Reader) never fails to make him smile or laugh, which helps his mental health a lot.

You can even bring out your old habits, like embarrassing/angrying (reader) a little and see her expressions, it doesn't matter if she gets her butt kicked. It was worth it!

(reader) must be the most sheltered woman in all of Xing, and no wonder, although at least she always has someone to talk to ☠️

When (reader) goes outside with Ling they have to have limited physical contact for etiquette issues, but Ling always holds her hand or hooks her arm around hers to keep her close :3

Both at some point can talk more openly about their traumas and cope with them with each other's help lots of cuddles during bedtime on those types of days.

At this point they would be very lucky if (Reader)'s parents are even still in Xing after what they did to their daughter and Ling becoming emperor 😅

This man is cuddly as fuck! Sure, you have to reserve the PDA in front of the other clans for appearance and etiquette issues, but once you're alone or with privacy? Nothing stops him. Especially with hugs.

I think Ling would be very interested in his partner learning basic defense, especially with Lan Fan being highly trustworthy. Even if (reader) is contrastingly protected, she knows that she is never too much.

In short, very sweet love that rots your teeth❤️

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

[byemambo]

Concert Diaries: ATEEZ - TOWARDS THE LIGHT : WILL TO POWER

Artist: ATEEZ

Tour: Towards the Light: Will to Power World Tour

Date: July 31, 2024

Location: Gas South Arena, Duluth, GA

Tier: SRA/Gen Admission

Time(s) Seen: Fourth time

Favorite Songs (Title Track): Guerrilla, HALAZIA, Youth, Silver Light, MATZ, WORK, ARRIBA, DJANGO, BOUNCY (K-HOT CHILLI PEPPERS), Dreamy Day

Notable Moments (in depth reflection under the cut):

This is the second time I've been to Gas South, and it's a nice venue for the size that ATEEZ has been able to achieve all these years

The stage design was amazing, they really went all out to create an immersive experience for all of us: from props, to stage rigs, to even set props that enhanced the storytelling aspect of the concert rather than focusing on the performance alone

Totally missed Crazy Form and Say My Name because I left my house later than I needed to and I had to pee BADLY

The staff (I asked for his name after the concert was over and it's Howard!) helped me get to my seat because there were too many people within the row for us to tell whether or not my seat got snatched (which it didn't thank goodness) so I was very grateful

Even though the back seating area of the stage is farther than what I'd prefer, I personally think it's better than being on the floor and not seeing shit because everyone's phones are up in the air

I've always preferred to see the entire stage from a further distance to fully take everything in, but the camera directors were really something

In comparison to their past tours, we can see just how much more sensual and adult they've become over the years, which I think is an evolution appropriate for them now as men versus the young boys they once were

Their sensual appeal isn't uncomfortable or cringe: it's confident, it's sexy, it's just the right amount that doesn't become too explicit

Their profound confidence as a group has done them so well over the course of their careers thus far, which is something that I will always admit about them as my favorite group

They spent so much time speaking to us directly in English without using a translator to aid in expressing their thoughts, which made me surprised and I'm neither for or against (since I believe that idols are entitled to expressing themselves in the language most comfortable to them, whether that be Korean or English)

The concert set list was very performance intensive, but with a theatrical approach, which is one of my favorite things about ATEEZ: their performance is beyond knocking out a choreography well on the stage, there is story and motifs significant to them as a group

During certain parts of the ments, some of the members became shy when speaking in English with minor hiccups, and I always find that wholesome with a gentle reminder of them being ordinary people outside of their celebrity personas

The VCR was fairly interesting, highlighting their journey with their group identity within the industry and relying on their "light," whether it be to help confront their obstacles, highlight their confidence, or overcoming the darkness of failure and asking the audience to ignite their light and never be afraid. ATEEZ has fairly complex lore, but we're currently in the era of Strickland, the damnation and government ban of artistic expression and emotional awareness, targeting citizens who perform art, music, or dance. Because ATEEZ has paved a name for themselves for being one of the top groups in delivering performance, this becomes a key player in their story line as they lead an anarchic revolution for society to access their emotions and pave a name for themselves in this world.

There were various members who partook in dance solos, but the specific theatrical performance that caught my attention the most was the transformation Seonghwa undergoes, accompanied by Hongjoong and Yunho as they face the Strickland officers and capture. Once Hongjoong and Yunho were seized by the Strickland officers and leaving Seonghwa behind, their wings were ripped away from them, resulting in a loss in freedom and identity. Seonghwa attempts to free himself from the grasps of the officers, even putting up a strong fight despite being outnumbered. After suffering and struggling to resist, he finally endures the same fate, his wings being torn away from him as he cowers in a deep depression.

However, Yeosang appears behind the cage, entrapped but instead of black clothing, he wears white and seems to be dancing with hints and glimmers of hope. Rather than remaining entrapped in the cage that serves as his confinement, he makes attempts to escape the bars, eventually breaking free. This reminds me of the metaphor associated with a caged bird, only serving its life purpose as a spectacle, an example to be made out of, an example of simply existing to serve for others and sing. I resonate this concept with ATEEZ, a group that I've been a fan of predebut back in 2018, witnessing the ups and downs of their presence within the industry. Along with many moments of support and aspiration, they endured many moments of ridicule and doubt, to the point of discounting their credibility and achievements throughout their career. This never stopped or forced ATEEZ back into the cage the industry and culture wishes for them, as society has always treated such uniqueness and artistic expression with confinement and silence. Instead, it only fueled ATEEZ's passion further, finally tapping back into their own light that guided them down a more fortifying path that becomes their own, that becomes a journey less traveled.

I've followed ATEEZ since the beginning of their career, knowing about their existence as KQ Fellaz (which indirectly claimed Pick It Up as their debut anthem that still resonates with ATINYs today). This year will be six years since their debut in 2018, which makes me excited and proud to be a part of their growth and journey. Their first concert in Atlanta was at Center Stage, a venue I personally love due to its small size fit for intimate connection between artist and audience. This is the same venue that BTS performed at before they became the powerhouse they are today, which only provides more reason to believe ATEEZ's career is following a similar path that BTS had paved prior. A path and road less traveled and embarked, a path that is only possible to travel on as a group debuting under a smaller company, as the industry's prioritization of capitalistic gain creates a saturated market with inequitable opportunities for those who lack the resources. Some groups become fortunate starting their race at the official starting line: other groups start strides behind the starting line, which close minded stans and industry leaders choose to ignore and dismiss such a handicap. Throughout the course of ATEEZ's journey, I've witnessed it all: division within the fandom, demonization of key players within KQ Entertainment that the members themselves look up to and respect, the industry itself failing to protect ATEEZ and instead, make a poor example out of them through alienation and scapegoating, multiple occasions of being plagiarized and ripped off of without pretense for their own hard work and desire to bring more to the industry that has shown to despise them. However, as I align with a similar fate as ATEEZ in my own personal life: we all never chose to give up and allow the hatred and dismissal to consume us whole, but rather idealize ourselves as a burning fire that only continues to grow from being fed wooden logs. ATEEZ will always be known for their raw power and passion, moving not only those who have supported them at various eras of their career, but capturing the hearts of those outside of the community through their connecting in a shared language: music and artistic expression. The amount of pride I carry on my shoulders when speaking about ATEEZ has only grown as the years go on and ATEEZ continues to evolve in various ways, but have always remained with their roots: humble(ness) and kindness. They have given themselves the responsibility to be the mouthpiece for themselves and those around them, they have made courageous strides in modifying the culture, valuing the sheer power of using their voices for the greater good, to have no fear chasing after their dreams no matter what challenges await fro them. They have truly embodied the phrase: failure is the mother of success. That no matter what attempts to bring them down, they allow themselves to endure the falls while still having the strength to get back up and continue marching on. They have inspired many lives to ignite the light that's within all of us, and claiming our time to wake up.

Next Concert: KPOP Breakout Tour w/ TRENDZ, CRAXY, ICHILLIN' and U-CHAE

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi, sorry to write again I truly do not know how to solve this. I'll be as clear and direct as much as I can this time. I'm carrying a burden and I don't know how to get rid of it. I feel like I don't have permission to be happy, enjoy my life and have experiences with other people because as I said, I feel this invisible pressure from my mother not allowing it and being disappointed by me. I don't think she'll be able to do much if I break free, but:

Being in a hostile home and environment with her around would put me in an even worse mood

Everytime I get the urge to enjoy myself and try new things an impulse inside me prohibits me from doing it anyway, telling me: “You are not allowed”. It's an automatic reflex, I struggle to break free from it because it's so overwhelming and oppressive. I do not know what it is. I know that after this I end up judging and berating people who enjoy and live their lives as a means to “defend” myself. I feel bad because others are allowed to live a normal and fulfilling life (especially on an emotional level) and I'm not.

What is going on with me? How do I solve this? How do I deal with my mother? How can I get rid of this weight I'm carrying? I think I put too much on your plate before, so I'm fine with getting an answer only to these these questions if possible, as it's the matter I care about the most and I'm having the most trouble sorting out. Thanks.

---------------------

It is a fact that your upbringing was not supportive of your ego development. If you truly want to resolve this issue, the first thing you have to do is stop wasting your time and energy on unproductive things like blame, projection, self-pity, or self-dramatization. Unproductive psychological activities keep you trapped in negativity. The more time you spend doing them, the more they drain your energy away, like a black hole.

In short, what this means is, you have a choice to make in every second of your life: Do you choose to devote your mental energy to the positive or the negative? You can't have it both ways. Your mental energy is finite. You can't indulge the negative and then expect to have tons of energy available for doing positive things.

Yes, you are indeed "childish" but not in the way you mentioned before. Your childishness is found in two important elements of your psychology:

1) Lagging Ego Development: Like a child, you are still motivated by the approval and disapproval of authority figures. Since you see yourself as being so small, everyone around you becomes a threatening authority figure.

It is a natural part of human socialization for children to learn the customs, norms, and values of their surrounding society in order to become a productive member. This often means deferring to authority figures in order to facilitate fitting in. However, when a person is still overly preoccupied with fitting in as an adult, they are no longer learning how to socialize in a healthy way but veering into unhealthy conformity, i.e., repressing or sacrificing the true self.

How to resolve this? At some point, it is necessary to grow up into an adult. To be an adult is to exercise your intellect, your will, your needs, your preferences, your beliefs and values, and your prerogative, in order to strike the right balance between honoring yourself and your social obligations. Adults don't need to ask for permission to live; they simply exercise their innate power.

The invisible weight you feel is not really your mother. You have internalized her values to the point where your own voice got silenced, which is usually an indication of Fe overindulgence in INFJs. You were not encouraged and even discouraged from growing as a person. This isn't your fault. However, you are no longer a helpless child. It is now your responsibility as a self-aware adult with the capacity to learn and grow to rejoin the path of growth, through speaking up, standing up, and asserting your adult independence. If you choose not to, you don't get to blame anyone but yourself for staying stuck in childishness.

2) Lagging Moral Development: Young children have a very superficial understanding of morality and are primarily driven by simple pain and pleasure, reward and punishment. They don't stop their bad behavior because they truly understand why it's morally wrong, rather, they only stop because they want to avoid the pain and shame of parental disapproval. They rely on those in power to dictate what is right or wrong because they don't yet have the intellectual capacity to evaluate complex moral issues on their own.

When an adult still holds the moral perspective of a child, they are easily manipulated and exploited by anyone because they simply believe everything they're told. How to resolve this problem? I already stated it: Improve your reasoning skills so that you are able to think for yourself and make good moral judgments on your own.

An important aspect of becoming an adult is learning the knowledge and skills you need to get through life with faith in yourself and confidence in your abilities. Since you have chosen to isolate yourself from the world, you have basically given up every opportunity to develop your potential, and this leads to low self-esteem and low self-worth. You must reverse the process of making yourself small and finally do what it takes to build yourself up, out in the real world.

.

I don't tell people how to make decisions in life, so I can't tell you what to do about your mom. The point is that, being an independent adult, you have to be the one to set the direction and find the best path forward. I can only tell you that the best path forward is always based on care and love. It should not be driven by negative things such as pettiness, blame, resentment, anger, or hate.

The issues you raise aren't uncommon for INFJs or even the general population. The topics of ego development, moral development, auxiliary Fe development, independence, critical thinking, boundaries, self-esteem, the negative effects of abuse, etc, have already been covered in previous articles.

[wundrousarts]

hi I hope this doesn’t sound like a demand lol but I love how you draw jupiter and I hope you draw him more

your art is so cool by the way I really like your character lineup 🥺

Thank you so much!! I literally never draw Jupiter, on account of my inability to draw 1. adult men and 2. beards, BUT it’s something I need to / want to get better at. The only other time I’ve drawn him was that lineup which I did super quick, so it was fun to try and think of an actual design so I can try to draw him more!

[ID: Three half-colored digital sketches of Jupiter North from Nevermoor. They show him as a kid with messy hair, a young adult with a mullet and mustache, and an adult with longer hair and a fuller beard. End ID.]

Details on my Jupiter design / headcanons (?) for his life under the cut:

I started with the middle— in my layers, I dubbed him to be “teen” Jupiter, originally intending for him as a senior scholar, but as time went on I figured he was more like, early 20s young adult Jove. The Wunsoc sweater is just still there on the adults because I didn’t want to redraw <3

I feel like Wunsoc, especially with Dearborn and Murgatroyd prowling the halls, holds its student’s appearances to a certain standard. Sure, society members are representatives of the society for the rest of their lives once they graduate, but their time in school is their first introduction to that life. It's their debut as society members. We see this in a lot of stuff with Holliday, in Hollowpox and in the one Silverborn snippet, how she's manufacturing an image for Mog and co. and physical appearance plays a part in it.

Going with this: I feel like Wunsoc would expect their students to keep their appearance clean and approachable somewhat. Jupiter gives me a vibe of the kid who had a crazy growth spurt, and was able to grow a beard before graduating– BUT I don't know if Wunsoc (really just the Scholar Mistresses) would be crazy for that. So I imagine that he's relatively clean-shaven for the most part, nowhere near modern Jove, and then starts to grow out his facial hair a bit more as a senior scholar where I imagine things would lax a bit, and then just commit fully to growing a beard once he properly graduates.

So young adult Jupiter is perhaps in his early 20s, a somewhat recent Wunsoc graduate. I'm a mullet Jupiter truther, where his hair is longer in the back, and had to represent that. Younger Jove's is messier and more fun; he's not too concerned about his image as he hasn't quite reached that laundry list of titles and accolades yet.

Present-day adult Jupiter is still rocking the mullet style, just now it's longer and styled a bit more professionally. But let's be real– it doesn't stay this way. It totally gets easily messed up from his hats, and Jove loves to have fun and entertain people, Plus, he's a busy man, constantly stressed and running around. While the hair here might be great for say, a formal meeting or a magazine cover, the hair most folks end up seeing him with tends to be a bit more wild. He definitely starts to resemble his younger self's hair more after a rowdy night or a stressful endeavor.

Kid Jupiter– not much to say here, tbh. I figured I'd stick with the longer hair he has as an adult, kinda rowdy. Not a mullet yet, though! I was thinking of the part in Nevermoor where he starts talking about the rules he broke and stuff he got up to as a Wunsoc student, and how Hawthorne started taking notes, and made his hair similar to the rowdy hair of our favorite bestie. However, while Hawthorne's hair is curly, I'm of the belief that Jupiter's hair is definitely pretty straight. So no curlicues for him </3

Hopefully now that I've started to nail down a design for Jupiter, I can draw him more!! I always have soooo many Nevermoor ideas circling around in my brain. I love thinking about designs for various characters and the reasonings behind different aspects of their appearance.

[gayfraggle]

I don't feel safe in my own home, I don't feel comfortable.

I feel like I have to be a perfect person who never makes any mistakes, I feel like I can't be myself in anyway, like I always have to be selfless and never do things for myself and always do what I'm asked and told to do but that I need to be more confident too and speak up for myself and "how dare you feel insecure and hate myself, how dare you think we'd hate you, you're an asshole for thinking people in the family won't accept you or like you"

My mom's fiance is really intimidating, and she kind of scares me, because I feel like if say something and it comes out wrong, or accidentally do something rude, or do anything that isn't just me being completely selfless and boring that I'll get yelled at for being a dick

I don't think either of them realize just how much it hurts to be antagonized for being vulnerable and insecure

And I'm terrified for the day comes that my mom will look through me phone and find out I've been sneaking onto it, I feel like her and her gf will think I'm an awful person for letting my friends know what my current situation is and talking to them so i can have at least a bit happiness in my life, and be around people who don't make me feel awful for being human

I love my family, and they love me. They just don't treat me right, my moms treat me like both an adult who should know how to socialize and be a functional member of society and like I'm a kid who needs to learn more

I'm scared, I wish I could just move out and live with my friends because they feel more like family then my actual family.

I feel guilty now for sneaking on here for the past few weeks. I'm scared.

I feel like I can't even tell them about any of this because they'll still antagonize me for it, saying I'm a horrible person for thinking this

They also don't realize that people can have multiple names and pronouns, my lesbian mothers think people can't have multiple names unless they have did. I'm pretty my mom thinks all people under the trans umbrella have to completely hate themselves and want all the surgeries and hrt and be completely masc or fem depending on if their transfem or frans masc (and I don't think she even knows it's an umbrella term) when not all of us want that, I don't want bottom surgery nor to be referred to as a man, I'm scared to get top surgery and t because they scared me out of it, I don't want to present super masc or super fem, I want to be androgynous and be able to wear classy suits AND dresses, I want to have a deeper voice and a flat chest. I just want to be me, but they say "you'll always be female even if you go on t, get top surgery, change your legal name, change gender on ids n'shit cause you have to let your doctor know" and "people can't 'identify' as anything because their sound has no name or gender or blah blah blah". They're both into tarot cards and crystals by the way. Also they say this as people who literally have trans friends of whom one is the gm for my mom's dnd group.

I'm scared to even ask my mom if I ever actually got diagnosed with adhd because she doesn't understand how neurodivergant people work. She doesn't realize that it's life-long and something people "grow out of". She literally said she thinks my brother "grew out of his add" a few of years ago.

I think if I told them that I've tried killing myself before that they'd be like "do you have any idea how that would affect US?"

[motherhenna]

am I the only one who's starting to feel like self care culture and therapist speak has lowkey done some serious damage to a lot of mentally ill young people over the last 8 or so years? It's literally the perfect vehicle for justifying insanely unhealthy coping mechanisms and addictions but I haven't heard anybody talking about it on here. Instead, I keep seeing posts that are like "be gentle with yourself: go at whatever pace is comfortable for you" and "it's okay to say no to things you don't want to do" but like...what if that thing you don't want to do is taking a shower or leaving the house or cooking your own meal at home? What if moving at a pace that is "comfortable" for you means you still haven't stopped smoking for the last decade because nicotine withdrawal and anxiety are not "comfortable"? And hey--at least you're only smoking ONE pack a day instead of two now, so that's almost as good as quitting entirely!

I'm saying all this as someone who is only just now coming out the other side and realizing how much of my late teens and twenties I've wasted because of my lack of accountability and aversion to the hard work that's necessary for recovery from addiction, eating disorders, and depression...and the whole time, I thought I was just practicing self care. But a lot of us should probably take a closer look at our behavior and ask ourselves, "is this really self care? Or is this just complacency, fear of failure, and denial?"

There's a word in addiction treatment that's used to describe family members, friends, or partners who give into their deeply disordered loved one's every demand--even when they know it's hurting them: enablers. I've seen a documentary of a 700 lb immobile man who was still managing to pile on weight because his wife went out every day and brought him every kind of junk food he asked for, all while claiming to love him more than anything else. But genuine, healthy love isn't watching your partner literally waste away before your eyes because you'd rather make him happy in the short-term: it's being fucking honest, and helping them get the assistance they need to get better even if you have to drag them kicking and screaming into rehab. And I'm of the belief that a lot of you out there end up confusing self-love / self-acceptance with self-enabling. One is easy while the other requires you to wake up and do the work every single day, even when it's ugly and messy and painful.

And listen--if your therapist has given you the full go-ahead to take the whole "gentle" route, or it's clearly working out really well for you, then by all means: keep at it. But more often than not, I think we need to stop wrapping ourselves in cotton. The way we treat ourselves should be how we'd ideally parent a child: obviously the overly harsh, critical, strict route rife with threats and punishment is a recipe for disaster, but the other extreme can be extremely damaging too. An overly compliant, indulgent parent who gives into their kid's every whim is likely going to produce selfish, entitled brats who have no concept that their actions have consequences. Neither approach is going to do their children many favors in the long run.

While I'm not fond of the boomer bootstrapping rhetoric, as I think a lot of it comes from an extremely skewed perspective of reality and the expectation that "if I can do it, everybody else should be able to do it just as easily", I also can no longer stand by the victimhood mentality so many fellow young millennials / gen z'ers seem to be living by. Because I spent the last ten years wallowing in it and all it gave me was lowered standards, a million excuses, self pity, and obesity. And it fucking sucks to confront the fact that you are ultimately the one who's responsible for your own behavior as an adult: it means you can't just blame it on society or your parents or your illness or whatever 'ism or 'phobia applies. Are all those things contributing factors that should be taken into account? Absolutely. Should you compare your progress to more privileged people's and feel shame that it's taking longer? No. But that doesn't mean you have no control of your life and choices--that you're powerless to do anything but wait for someone else to save you. Unless you're literally being held hostage at gunpoint, there are always things you can do to `improve your life and yourself. So next time you want to give up on a dream of yours, or justify not changing out of your pajamas for a fortnight in the name of self care, maybe ask yourself what an enabler would do vs. what a true friend would do

[bonefall]

Yes, I want to ask you more AVOS and Needletail stuff, I want you to do justice to one of my favorites...

So given that Breezepelt is another POV joining the kin in the rewrite and also has an arc of disillusionment from them, how do you plan to distinguish Breezepelt and Needletail's roles in the story and personalities so they don't feel like the same character/the same role besides one of them dying and one of them surviving? How will their motivations with regards to the kin differ (I'm hoping you can portray Needletail at least with a combination of genuine idealism, feeling of alienation from her society, and romanticization of violence as a way of having autonomy for herself and belonging)? How will Needletail and Sleekwhisker be shown to contrast in personality as well?

I am trying to preserve her as much as possible, but it is difficult because from what I'm seeing, a significant amount of her draw is based on how ludicrously evil The Kin is from the very beginning. How she sees that, knows that, and goes forward with what she does anyway. Her disillusionment comes when she finally realizes that Bad Society means that She Is Affected By It As Well, her rebellious boredom resulting in real-world harm.

And I don't want The Kin to be that anymore. I want it to be confusing and cultish, I don't just want it to be a Violent Alternative to Clan Culture, which I strongly established for the previous 4 arcs of the Rewrite is violent as a major theme. And like I've mentioned, it bothers me immensely that the Apprentices were basically just rebelling because they were bored little shits and Rowanstar was "too soft," because the main series couldn't admit that Clan Culture is flawed and worth changing

(thank god for TBC finally changing the status quo)

And, tangentially, this arc is already showing a bunch of similarities to previous arcs, even in canon. Needle's execution feels like Stonefur 2 (Kill this child or you die), The Kin feels like BloodClan 2 (Evil foreign barbaric horde that hates love and friendship), Darktail feels like a combination of Sol (manipulative almost supernatural force with a grudge against clan society) and Breezepelt (wants to kill because his dad sucks but loves his mom)

And then on top of it, specific to my rewrite, I'm both trying to fix canon AND complete the dropped character arcs from OotS. So I've got Heather and Breeze here too.

But I am considering these things and here's the current WIP plans:

Needletail: Remorseful Rebel

I'm trying to build on what I think is the part of her character people like the most; how much agency she has over the Kin's takeover. I'm approaching her as possibly the most important individual in their rise.

The fear and violence The Kin's tactics involve are acceptable, ESPECIALLY because she immediately becomes one of the higher ranking Kin members, until it personally affects her or someone she cares about.

Her role is as a perpetual bad influence. She likes what the Kin offers her personally; power and respect. Sleekpaw was the real leader of the Rebel Apprentices, but saw Needlepaw like her deputy and always heard her out. Berryheart, her mother, adored her daughter and would follow her to the end of the Earth. Violetshine looked up to her.

When Darktail murders Mistfeather, lamenting what he "Must do now that his paw has been forced", Needletail sees this, and understands. It's about being able to get rid of anyone who embarrasses you. Here is a system that allows her to go from a low-level, powerless scrub to an elite. No more apprentice tasks. No more being bossed around. No more being 'humiliated,' by whatever arbitrary standard she sets.

But Darktail will need her help, she needs to offer the cats of ShadowClan an alternative to the life they live now. Sleekpaw and the Apprentice Rebels want power to force the Clans to work together. Berryheart and the adults want a competent leader. The ex-Dark Forest trainees and HalfClan cats want acceptance. They all want change.

Needletail doesn't realize it, but she's Darktail's inside voice to spread his propaganda and funnel information back to him. Without her, the Clan society is too big to understand the intricacies of so quickly.

Sleekwhisker, Needletail, Rain, Breezepelt, Darktail. A tight inner circle that grows smaller and smaller, until Sleek alone leads the remnants of the Kin away from the Lake.

Needletail is now the first of this inner circle to die. Violating rules as if they don't apply to her, bringing Violetshine to see her sister, sharing herbs with another Clan, calling out Darktail's cruelty in taking one of Rain's eyes, Needle is one of the first public executions The Kin carries out. Violetpaw was to be killed for breaking the rules, but Needletail tried to fight to free her.

Darktail makes a small speech about how the REAL problem was surely Needletail and she'd just been corrupting Violet, instead of canon where trying to get Needletail to kill this child was just a cruel mind game with no purpose.

(tangent: I firmly believe Tigerstar commanding that Stonefur kill the apprentices was as an excuse to get rid of his political rival, on top of wanting to kill halfclans. "Prove you aren't disloyal like the other halfclan filth. Oh, you won't kill kids? See everyone! He's disloyal! I am justified in commanding this execution." So I don't want Darktail to be commanding Violet's death for... lulz I guess.)

Darktail becomes worse after this, his paranoia escalating. Bonefall Needletail also does not go to StarClan, she is in the Dark Forest... but as you know, the Dark Forest isn't a horrible fate.

Breezepelt: A Reflection

Needlepaw's first order of action was getting word out about Darktail, appealing to cats who feel othered in their Clans. Breeze is one of the first to join, tired of his problems in WindClan. Furzepelt and Sunstrike join him, more loyal to Breeze than anyone else. This is Darktail's first wave of recruitment; he goes from his Original 6 and his SkyClan Pack to suddenly having almost 20 members, and they still don't have the ShadowClan Apprentices.

Breeze and Dark hit it off immediately. Breeze is probably the only one who gets into that 'inner circle' because Darktail legitimately enjoys their company as a friend.

Being so close to Darktail makes Breezepelt start realizing things about himself. The rage and obsession with WindClan, how isolating this kind of anger is, how paranoid power makes him. But all this is a very slow process, which only truly starts to cause a turn around after Needletail's death.

(A change: Crowfeather is now also involved in Harespring and Kestrel's plot to bring herbs in defiance of Onestar. Crowfeather brings some to Breezepelt, and hopes that he is safe. Breeze snaps at him but the experience sticks with him.)

I'm thinking there's some kind of 'party purge' towards the end, the final days of Darktail clinging to power before Violetshine finds SkyClan for the final confrontation. Heathertail is one of the cats who is going to die here, and it's the moment where Breeze has to make a choice.

I think this fight actually ends in a draw, both of them nearing the drop-off of the lake shore, unable to get enough of a lock to hold the other under. They realize neither one is strong enough to kill the other without dying. That's how Breezepelt comes up with the plan to drown Darktail, feeling that if he'd done it in that moment, he could have been "redeemed" and he feels it's his fault that so many people are dead.

In conclusion; What makes them different

Where Needletail is rebellious to the end, Breezepelt is doggedly loyal to Darktail and betraying him was personally painful.

Needletail does more diplomatic work, Breezepelt is an executioner.

Needle's plot is more politics-centric, Breeze is more about self-exploration and his relationships.

Their personalities are different. Needletail is self-centered, motivated by her desire for authority and freedom. Breezepelt is seeking a sense of belonging and justice.

[jaysficarchive]

Let's Go to Helioas

Synopsis: The gang arrives in the capital but it's only the start of their adventure.

Part 2/2

@floof-ghostie @punkeropercyjackson @mayameanderings

As soon as the barge docked at a port, the doors were opened to let Solana and YJ out. Still amazed at how the city looked, they continued looking around. The streets and airways were busy with people moving about. The reconstruction had been successful, just as the royal family promised.

"Solana, this is amazing." Cissie was especially in awe of the clothing the women wore. Jewels unlike anything she'd ever seen before sewn seamlessly into silk. The headdresses on top of their heads were elaborate, ranging from gold to silver to bronze.

Solana smiled. It felt great to be able to share her home with her friends. "You'll like the palace even more. Come on."

Accompanied by the guards and servant girls, the group made their way to the palace. People greeted them along the way. A few stopped to try and get a look at the visitors only to be shooed away by Eneka. Their shock returned upon seeing the palace. Solana wasn't lying when she said it was huge.

"That's your place, Solana?!"

Solana giggled. They'd gotten quite the culture shock in the time they've been here. "Yes. This is where I'll live when I become queen. It's also where most of my family lives as well."

"Anything else we need to know?" Naomi asked. She didn't take her eyes off the building for even a second. "I like it here so far."

"You'll probably be taking a bath once we get there since it's almost midday. And then tonight there's going to be a party."

"CANNONBALL!"

Midday was for relaxing and baths taken during the time were no exception. It was more like a spa if anything; not that anyone was complaining. In addition they got some services courtesy of Solana.

Tim sighed happily, feeling complete relief from the desert heat. Not only did he get to relax but was also getting pampered by servants. That midday bath did wonders since he felt like he just got a massage. "You must've really liked living here, Solana. Before the destruction and all."

Solana nodded. Part of what made adjusting to life on Earth so difficult for her was everything she was used to. On Helioas she was a member of the royal family, the most respected class of all. On Earth she was just another girl. It was very different.

"So about this party we're going to..." Bart looked over at her. "Who's it for?"

"It's actually for me. It's my rising ceremony," Solana replied. "That's why I chose this specific day to come here."

Everyone instantly got excited.

"Oh my god, really?!" Daliah asked.

Solana explained what the ceremony was about and how it worked. "Young adulthood for Helioasans starts at 13. Since it's a week after my 13th birthday, it's time for me to become a member of society. Now that doesn't mean I'll be marrying an adult man or that adults can marry children. It means that we have reached young adulthood and are free to make our own decisions."

"During the ceremony, there will be a series of rituals I go through to prove that I'm ready for womanhood. They will be especially rigorous since I'm the next queen."

"Solana, that's amazing! I'm so glad you brought us here to witness this." Daliah hugged her tightly. Everyone else joined in after, giving their congratulations and wishing her good luck. They were proud of how far she'd come from her early days on the team. Even more that she was comfortable enough to invite them to such an intimate, important event.

Musicians softly banged drums for the beginning of the ceremony. Everyone was gathered in the courtyard awaiting the princess's arrival. In the center was the current regent Raswana, the oracle, and the high priestess of the Temple of Rasina.

When the horns blew and the drumming became louder, that's when Solana walked through the doors. Her face was decorated with gold face paint. Her blonde hair and jewels on her fought to be the ones shining in all glory. Bart was speechless at how beautiful she looked.

Raswana and the high priestess, with fingers dipped in different colored paints, added more colors to her face. Both said a small prayer before kissing each one of Solana's hands.

The oracle raised her hands to the sky and took a deep breath before speaking. "Farqa Rasina, mwalme Solana Phoenixia Selemaine Aerius, nare qop mwal Luilla, ienare qop mwal Selemaine Ib'i Zadena Aerius. Ey teqwe rasai sotera, qer yw e mwale. Ile fekte ne?"

Solana stood proud as she answered. "Yaqa."

Thus began the first ritual of womanhood. Her wings were tied so she couldn't use them. Her Young Justice teammates looked on with both shock and worry. With a dagger, she slayed a bull and placed its heart in a box. Afterwards she left the palace for the mountains. There, she walked up the highest one and burned the heart as an offering to Rasina.

"That's a...really extreme way to prove you're a woman." Kon whispered. He'd be remembering how Solana killed the bull for years to come.

"Well it does build character." Anita whispered back.

"If you think this is bad, you have yet to see the stuff my people do." Onya added.

Solana's return from the mountain marked the end of the first ritual and the beginning of the second. This one was more intense than the last since Solana's arms were tied behind her back. She then jumped onto a nearby balcony and leaped into the nearby river.

"I understand this is to prove that she's a woman and all but did they have to tie her arms?" Bart asked as he looked on. "If this is how it is for girls, I can't imagine what the boys go through."

Once she complete each ritual, the three women circled around her chanting something. They stopped and placed a hand on her--Raswana on her heart, the oracle on her head, and the priestess on her stomach. After a series of final prayers, the oracle declared Solana was now a woman.

"Talk about intense." Cassie chewed on roasted bull meat. It tasted like beef but more savory and flavorful. "I didn't expect them to tie your wings during the first two."

"I told you it was rigorous. To prove your womanhood is to be confident and enlightened." Solana cut up her meat before eating.

"Well I'm still glad you invited us," Daliah said. "This was a wonderful experience."

"Indeed it was. Perhaps our next trip should be to Gemworld." Amethyst agreed. A servant came over to pour more juice in her cup. "It would be good for diplomatic reasons too."

Solana smiled and flustered when she felt Bart lean against her. She looked down to see him smiling cheerfully. He didn't feel like electricity this time; instead he was warm. "Did you enjoy yourself, Bart?"

"Yeah I did." He held her hand under the table, causing her to fluster more.

"So what's next after this?" Naomi asked. "Is there a ceremony when you actually become an adult or is that for marriage?"

"Next is ascension to the throne."

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch: season 1 recap

Overall impressions of Season 1 after my first chronological rewatch:

This first season was consistently strong. I see why I fell in love with the show right away, and why I was already invested enough with the characters to stick with them for seven whole years, through all the ups and downs. The premise is great, the characters are all well delineated, with fantastic actors bringing them to life. I would actually argue that Voyager came out of the gate stronger than the other two 90s Trek series. It had it's format and identity fully figured out from the get-go, whereas TNG and DS9 both took a season or two to figure themselves out and get in a groove. Some of the characters individually still needed some time to percolate and settle into more steady characterization, but on the whole, the relationships and dynamics were already forming, and becoming a joy to watch.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that far fewer characters got killed off in this first season than I thought. Losing crew members they couldn't replace, yet still being able to run the ship, has always been one of my pet peeves in Voyager, so I'm going to keep a running tally as I go through the series to find out how many there actually were.

There were also more romantic subplots than remember in the first season. I'm going to be keeping a running tally of those too.

One of the things that surprised me on this rewatch was the friendship they started building between B'Elanna and Harry, which was sweet and lovely, and made so much sense, but then was abandoned entirely later on, which is a shame. Garrett Wang said on The Delta Flyers podcast how he thought back then that they were setting up Harry and B'Elanna to be a couple, and while I thought that was wild at first, I do see it now, and think it would have made sense. I wouldn't necessarily have preferred that, but I definitely would have liked their friendship at least to have been developed further, and maybe a romance would have worked if they had done. It's certainly an interesting path not taken to contemplate!

A weird thing I noticed was how much glaringly racist and misogynist dialog made it's way on screen this first season, like, way more than there was in TNG or DS9. I have no idea why anyone thought it was a good idea, and it definitely hindered Tom and Neelix's character development, as well as Kes's, indirectly.

The whole concept of Neelix and Kes as a couple is pretty questionable from the perspective of a few decades later. I had no idea back then how much of an age gap there was between the actors playing them; when you're 7 years old, everyone over 16 is an adult to you, but looking back now, and finding out that Jennifer Lien was only 18 when they started, whereas Ethan Phillips was in his mid-40s, I'm very bothered by the power imbalance that age gap creates. (I'm referring to the characters specifically, I've never heard anything negative about Ethan Phillips as an actor.) That already large gulf in age and experience is further exasperated by Neelix being a worldly space nomad, while Kes comes from a sheltered existence in a society with no knowledge of the outside world, who only live for nine years, yet, somehow, Kes is still presented as an adult based on her physical and cognitive development, despite being canonically under two years old chronologically. Having someone who was almost literally born yesterday in a romantic relationship with someone who also is, for all intents and purposes, her teacher, is a really fraught situation, all the more so for Kes having run away from home and being almost entirely dependent on Neelix, with no one from her family or culture there to support her. That aspect, at least, is somewhat mitigated when they join the Voyager crew, since Kes now has a ship full of people to learn from and depend on, but Neelix's position as her knight in shining armor figure who rescued her still gives him a lot of influence over her. Couple that with Neelix constantly either infantilizing her or unleashing jealous tirades on her, and it's a really uncomfortable thing to watch. It severely undercuts Neelix's likability, which he would otherwise have in the bag as one of the show's main comic relief characters. Kes, too, comes out being slightly one dimemsional when half of her screentime is devoted to having to be the perfect girlfriend who tolerates and soothes all of Neelix's moods, even though her developing skills as a medic is the more interesting storyline. Her friendship with the Doctor is also more interesting, since he at least recognizes and encourages her talents, but even here, most of her storylines with him revolve around being his cheerleader in his quest for more autonomy. It's deeply frustrating to see such old fashioned gender dynamics at play in a show that was supposed to be a progressive vision for the future. Despite having three female characters in the main cast, I don't think the three of them ever had a scene together outside the conference room, and I don't think Kes and B'Elanna ever spoke to each other at all this season beyond one brief exchange in sickbay in the season's last episode.

The writers were obviously struggling to figure out Tom Paris after having to switch him out for the Nicholas Locarno character they'd originally intended him to be, so we end up getting two versions of Tom Paris this first season. The original Locarno version is an asshole who says truly shitty things, presumably in an attempt to make him a bad boy who would shake up Starfleet's usual niceness, and eventually have a redeeming character arc. But with the tweaks made to the character's backstory in order to distinguish him from Locarno for copyright purposes, we actually get a much more sympathetic, kinder character who's desperately looking for redemption from the start, and has the Starfleet niceness baked into him as part of his upbringing. Listening to Robbie McNeill on the Delta Flyers podcast, he says outright that he didn't like playing the asshole version because he thought viewers wouldn't sympathize or care about a character who was a jerk every single week, and he was right. Unfortunately, it took the writers a while to see the light and lean into the latter version of Tom at last, and I think to this day, it's tainted Tom's reputation as a character. The casual fans who saw any of these early episodes and didn't tune in religiously every week to see his character develop probably continued to think of him as the gross dudebro we get in some of these early eps. Which is a shame, since he actually becomes one of my favorite Voyager characters by the end.

Some things that I was suprised to find started all the way back in the first season was Seska's betrayal and defection to the enemy arc; and that Tom being made a medic started all the way back in the second episode. I thought it must have been later on, after they lost more crew, because there's no way there wouldn't be another crew member with more medical training than him, but no. They really put a guy who has an essential, full time job, that he's good at, and gave him another one he's barely qualified for on top of it, just because. Ok then, I guess. That's just so random. Maybe they had plans to put him and Kes together already, but that seems unlikely, given how Kes's whole character was invented to be Neelix's girlfriend. (I read somewhere that Kes isn't even mentioned in the Voyager show bible except within Neelix's entry. Siiiigh.)

There was also a lot less of the Kazon and Vidians this season than I thought, which was nice, since I don't like either of them as antagonists, but that just means that all the episodes with them I disliked are still ahead, ugh. (In all honesty, I pretty much dislike all of the recurring villains on Voyager, but I'll go into that when each of those arcs come up.)

Overall, I've been having a lot of fun, and rediscovering a lot of stuff I'd forgotten. I'm excited for season two!

Season 1 stats:

number of crew killed off: 6

Caretaker: at least 5 confirmed (first officer, chief engineer, chief medical officer, nurse, pilot) with more implied

Faces: 1 (Lieutenant Pete Durst)

number of romantic subplots:

Paris: 1 with kiss (Ex Post Facto)

Janeway: 1 without kiss (Prime Factors)

Kim: 1 without kiss (Prime Factors)

Chakotay: 1 without kiss (State of Flux) [at least I don't think there was a kiss, maybe there was?? I didn't decide to keep track till after this ep, so wasn't paying enough attention]

The Doctor: 1 with kiss (Heroes and Demons)

Number of episodes I liked/disliked/mixed reaction:

Liked: 10

Disliked: 3

Mixed: 2

[papirouge]

Is trans ideology popular in your country? Ive heard there's been a backlash in the UK so now i'm curious about France... My country is unfortunately the type of country that follows whatever trend the USA is doing whether it's bad or good so the ideology did make its way into our schools, universities, politics and so on. But I feel the average person here is much less tolerant of it than the average american, like pretty much everyone believes it's a pretty radical ideology and very few people take the whole nonbinary stuff or neopronouns seriously.

Some serious stuff here has been passed like kids can now transition when they turn 14 (hormone treatment inc puberty blockers and surgery), you can also change your legal sex at that age too no transition of any kind neeeded for that, you just need to request the legal change in your papers from male to female or viceversa. Some dude even got to change his ID to mark X where his sex is supposed to be since he identifies as nonbinary (he's a bio male though).

Like i'm glad to be able to freely express my opinion with others since being critical of trans ideology is quite popular actually, but there are so many laws being changed since people still are very "to each their own". They just care if their own kids get sucked into the ideology but couldn't care less if others do, then they're like "as long as its not hurting anybody". So people tend to act apathetic about the way this agenda is slowly making its way into society since it isn't directly affecting them... Until it does. Then it's just too late.

France is still very TERFy lol

When abortion access got passed in the Constitution, french tra seethed about the fact that the bill didn't even include trans men or "people with uterus" (whatever this is) lol. When female members of the parliament celebrated the bill, they dressed in the "radfem colors" (violet white and green) 👀

I think trans ideology will have an extremely hard time invading romance countries because we have an extremely gendered culture. Even our languages are extremely gendered and gender neutral (singular) pronouns are nonexistent (the only attempt I've seen are those mixing the female and male singular pronouns in a single one, but it still puts genderless people in the female/male pronouns box). We don't have the equivalent of "it" or "they" in french. Everything has a gender, even objects or concepts.

Romance countries also have a very deep love for romance (duh), sex/sensuality and the human body. This comes from the Greek civilization they're the offsprings of ofc, but Catholicism plays a big part too. Catholics love some naked people. They couldn't help pulling out countless paintings of Jesus on the cross almost naked SMH lol. The chapel Sixtine is full of naked bodies too....

That's why in the psyche of those countries, trans bodies are unholy atrocities destroying God's work. Trans people won't be accepted like that out there.... And when they do, they have to be impeccably passing. I always found troubling how french people dissed the first lady (who's trans) on her looks, almost more than the fact he sexed the current president when he was still a 14 y.o boy.... Sometimes tells me if s/he was more passing people wouldn't be that mad, and I lowkey hate it....

Sometimes I feel privileged for being able to have critical thoughts about the trans ideology publicly because I know that women lost their jobs for that. One time I was talking to my colleague about a transathletes and we both agreed how men had some damn nerves and no shame for invading female sports like that. Like- it wasn't even a debate for any of us that those trans women were men and we both seethed against male audacity during the whole discussion lol Most women in France are crypto terf yall lol

But the pushing for trans ideology is definitely getting stronger. It's now possible to change your legal sex (but you have to be an adult I think). Not sure about whether minor can access hormones though.

[ear-worthy]

Arts Educators Save The World: Mentors From The Classroom

ARTS EDUCATORS SAVE THE WORLD is a weekly podcast that brings successful artists together in conversation with their mentors. 

See below for all the reasons this podcast is desperately needed in the U.S. right now.  Let me start with: There is no diplomatic way to phrase this. Being a teacher in the U.S. sucks right now. Worse than that, it seems like it's only going to get worse. 

Let me summarize: Teachers are underpaid and even more underappreciated. Teachers are attacked by parents who call them "groomers." Teachers are scapegoated by entitled parents who raise entitled children who, of course, are perfect and can do no wrong. Teachers are mandated by parents and school boards who know nothing about teaching, to adhere to strict rules on what they can and cannot teach. Teachers are now expected to teach sanitized versions of their subjects.

Finally, if students act up or out, then somehow the teachers are to blame.

I have a teaching degree and taught adults and remedial classes to inner city teens. What I'm proud of most was that I was able to connect with some students who avoided the gangs, drug addiction, and a dependent lifestyle. These students are successful at their jobs, prosperous and productive members of society. TheARTS EDUCATORS SAVE THE WORLD weekly podcast is all about how teachers, especially arts teachers, became mentors for notable people. 

This podcast reminds extremist politicians, activist parents, education administrators, and others that teachers play a critical role in shaping our society and the future.

Season One of the show welcomed guests such as Lin-Manuel Miranda, Robert Lopez, Josh Radnor, Annaleigh Ashford, and more.

Here are some quotes from the well-known people about their mentors:

“My elementary school music teacher is the reason I’m here.” – Lin-Manuel Miranda, Season 1, Episode 1 “Having a formative mentor at that vulnerable place, when I knew I wanted to say something, but I didn’t quite know what it was yet. That was enough.” – Josh Radnor actor (How I Met Your Mother) , Season 1, Episode 3 “That feeling that we got in that classroom – where something would finally click, where you understood a word in a different way, where you had an effect on somebody – all the surprises, the discoveries, those are more exciting than anything else.” – Cecily Strong (Saturday Night Live)  Season 1, Episode 7 The host of this podcast, Erica Rosenfeld Halverson is a professor, an author, an actor, and the Mayor of Whoopensocker. She is Professor of Curriculum & Instruction at the University of Wisconsin-Madison where she studies arts education and teaches the next generation of teaching artists and classroom teachers who learn to share their artistic superpowers with the next generation of geniuses! 

 Her book How the Arts Can Save Education: Transforming Teaching, Learning, and Instruction shows how we can fix our broken system of schooling by reimagining teaching and learning using the arts. Erica has founded two community arts outreach programs, Playmakers Lab in Chicago and Whoopensocker in Madison, WI. Erica has been blessed with incredible arts mentors, including the late Jacques d’Amboise who founded the National Dance Institute, where Erica first encountered the power of arts education for all.

Halverson does some heavy lifting here as the host. She's an excellent host who infects listeners with her enthusiasm and passion. Her podcast partner is Alek Lev is a writer, director, podcast producer, and American Sign Language interpreter. Podcasts include Meeting Tom Cruise and Private Joke: The Official How I Met Your Mother Podcast. He wrote and directed the recent release, WHAT?, a black-and-white, silent feature film about a Deaf actor struggling in Hollywood. And he’s interpreted for three presidents, two Broadway shows, and one Beatle.

The show -- ARTS EDUCATORS SAVE THE WORLD -- began in late August 2022 and just began its second season in the winter 2024. 

What will you hear on this podcast? Lin-Manuel Miranda may be the biggest name on the podcast, and his two-part episode was exhilarating. Don't miss it. It will be undeniable proof that teachers can have an outsized impact on our lives, especially someone as talented as Mr. Miranda.

Another don't miss episode is a recent one with actor Bradley Whitford, probably best known for the TV show The West Wing. In the show, Whitford meets with his mentor from Madison East High School, Paul Milisch, the producing director of theater. Whitford raises fundamental questions about arts education in our public school system when he asks, "Are we expanding opportunity, or are we preserving privilege?"

In a format break for the podcast, two shows look at arts teachers in TV and film. For TV, the podcast talks with actress and teaching artist Christina Anthony about Glee and Abbott Elementary.

For the film review episode, the podcast talks with Slate's film critic, Dana Stevens about Dead Poets Society, Camp, Whiplash.  

Both episodes are superb and worth the 45 minutes of your time.

ARTS EDUCATORS SAVE THE WORLDcan offer a more complete understanding of the critical role that arts education and arts teachers play in the development of our youth. 

Who will be our next Lin-Manuel Miranda? Who will be the next mentor to our most famous actors, writers, and musical artists?  Listen to be inspired by how these educators and mentors changed the lives of the artists... that change ours.

Remember that, “The best teachers are those who show you where to look, but don't tell you what to see.”

[empress-hancock]

(anon with the creep dad) to clarify; my mother actually passed away in 2016, admitted she knew he was abusive before he died "but what do you expect me to do?! divorce him?!" (Yea you should've fucking done that, instead of slandering and smearing me as autistic in response to me living in fear?!) Mormon family system and she would flat out say he was not abusive or being inappropriate.

She's evil and I'm glad she's dead, but wish he had dropped dead too, or even better, he died, and she lived; she dropped out of college, and stopped working to be a stay at home mom. Had he died, she would've been alone and I would not have helped her. And she'd have to live with the guilt for the rest of her life.

Honestly I don't think she completely saw me as a rival, it was more that she chose to be a brainwashed sheep, she said "religion before family, the husband before the children" she lacked integrity and moral courage.

But yea I do think she also saw ME as disgusting, instead of him, even though I was a damn child. I am really glad she is dead, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to get away; my disability benefit went into her bank account, its like she was my pimp. She was a cool gal htm, basically, unlike other women, blatantly misogynistic shit like him finding other women attractive, didn't offend her. She was a ragoholic, she'd rage at me and tell me to forgive him for things, like leering at my ass.

I'm a teacher now, and working with kids, I understand her even less, because I feel protective of kids that aren't even mine, and if i saw any red flags for sexual abuse on a child, i'd report it so fast

It does seriously perplex me how so many people have no understanding that children are vulnerable and adults should protect them. Even if someone doesn’t like children and doesn’t want to directly participate in their upbringing I still see people say things that no one should say about a child. Religion definitely brainwashes people into tolerating a lot of things that they absolutely should not, but I think it’s deeper than that too. There are people who are not religious or who are but only casually and don’t let their religion inform most of their choices who still behave this way, so there has to be, in those cases, something else at play. I think it’s likely that the desire for male validation, because women, separate from religious teachings, are told our value is based on how well we please men. So when that idea is combined with the teachings of religion, it exacerbates the problem.

I think people have long forgotten that, for a society to function properly, we do have to lend a hand to those who are most vulnerable in our communities. People are so obsessed with the individual and culling the weak or whatever but that’s not how humans have operated. We find skeletons of people with disabilities who lived a long time because those around them cared for them. Caring for children, the elderly, and the injured and sick is how humans persisted, but now we have people talking about how kids are “seducing” adults or how babies “manipulate” parents by crying so you should just leave them to cry it out because they don’t get that kids are usually not cold and calculated con artists, but rather developing beings still learning about their environment and need the guidance of more experienced members of the community in order to learn.

Personally I wouldn’t have kids because I don’t want to have that responsibility long term but I don’t hate them. I would never overlook harm being done to a child just because I get a bit overwhelmed after spending more than 5 hours with them. I’m not about to make that their problem because they’re kids and kids are rowdy and energetic and talk a lot and it’s simply their nature because they’re experiencing so many new things every day. It’s awful that for some of them, those “new things” are pain and abuse. No one should turn a blind eye to that. So what if the family falls apart, the kid deserves to be safe.

Just out of curiosity, also, what age range do you teach?

[mebis-art-dump]

Ok after coming back to this and looking at the stuff that led me to think this again with fresh eyes, this is probably not it

Thing is, besides wrapping their dead in fabric as if to mummify them (most obvious with entombed husk) there's also two "sarcophagus" in the game, one containing godseeker and the other a dead snail shaman guarding over soul eater

Both of these are referred to in the wanderer's journal as "cocoons"

This name implies burials were seen as akin to metamorphosis, which makes sense as far as rebirth/reincarnation believes would look like in a bug kingdom

And at this point old me just went "ah like the wyrm", but upon reconsideration it isn't quite right

First off, despite the blaring similarities to metamorphosis, the structure the king form emerged from is only ever referred to as an egg (funny that the one to talk about its transformation is a caterpillar though)

Furthermore, there's reason to believe the average hallownest citizen didn't know of the king's origin as a Wyrm, given the halt of city progress just before kingdom's edge and their belief that the king created the world (but is not like the knowledge about his identity as a wyrm was taboo or anything though, those who were in the know, like the fungal tribe, didn't hesitate to refer to him as such)

One could also argue that the snail tribe is apparently older than hallownest, that godseeker is not of these lands (and also potentially in a real literal cocoon given her transformed body), or that the author of the wanderer's journal isn't even from hallownest

But godseeker's cocoon is also referred to as such in-game, and the snail's grave is in hallownest burial grounds, so it could be following a relatively standard (albeit pretty high class for the looks of it) burial method, so I'm inclined to believe coffin/sarcophagus= cocoon is a standard thing in universe

Now, one could be inclined to believe that these could've been adopted from moth beliefs given their role as caretakers of resting grounds, but for one their whole shtick is about memories and preserving the life of the dead through remembering them (which kind of goes against what metamorphosis is about imo)

This moth tribe was created in the image of Radiance, and there are no mentions of a "caterpillar/grub" phase for them, so is dubious if they even go for such a stage; and even if they did, given that they were still pretty much physical and functioning adult members of the society as moths, such a stage would be a mere coming of age/growing into adulthood thing, rather than ascending to a higher plane or a new life

Metamorphosis itself seems to be a rare/mythical thing on Hallownest, if you think about it

There's Wyrms, but there's also grubberflies, which are stated to have mysterious powers and their method of metamorphosis is rather bizarre, with the grub caretaker card implying they even mess around in dreams once they reach that state (although not few would cast doubt over how canon this obscure piece of text that used to come with merch is)

Bardoom is old enough to know in depth about wyrms and also stupidly large, yet shows no signs of wanting to or being able to go through metamorphosis; marmu talks about wanting the Queen to teach it to fly, and I agree that this implies metamorphosis, but it also implies the need for WL specifically in order to do so, and there's reason to believe that she has powers related to growth and transformation/evolution

Godseeker also shows a metamorphosis of sorts, but how natural it is is unclear, and she already has a lot of magic antics going on

Now, there's only two things in the game proper that are called cocoon

The godseeker coffin, and lifeseed cocoons

In a way, lifeseeds also go through metamorphosis, maybe this plays a role in the taboo around consuming them

Ok that has been enough rambling for today

Tldr there's one (1) point in common between the beliefs of hollow knight bugs and Homestuck trolls it seems

Somewhat marginally related to my previous art post, there *may* be a connection between the "death" of the Wyrm and Hallownest burial beliefs

If anyone wanna hear about that