#not understanding things makes me angry so now i hate that game
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finding a neat looking sdv expansion mod only to see the new npcs it adds r just more white ppl
#smudgy.txt#i dont understand why anyone would think theyd need to add More whiteness to this game and#not understanding things makes me angry so now i hate that game#i got the diversity mod too n it was cool but the game at its core just feels so. white#and by white i mean boring as hell <3#sorry im being snippy bc im upset. i dont like it when i find smth that'd usually be right up my alley#only to realize it's not bc it is just Very obvious the that creators did not have someone like me in mind when they were creating it#it is a very Safe game which does not feel safe to Me#bc what's Safe is decided by people who either could never consider my existence or outright find my existence upsetting#maybe thats why things like DE & tgm feel comforting to me#they dont feel White in that specific way that Safer things tend to#......also maybe farming sims just arent my thing ADGFFSHDFH#BUT I SWEAR THEY WOULD BE IF THEY JUST BOTHERED TO BE COOL. LIKE CMON#LIKE HAVE SOME CATBOYS OR SOMETHING AT LEAST. JESUS#MAN if there were some sort of sim set in the lxh world. id die of pure peace of heart#peaceful & wholesome as h*ck. casual queerness & disability. AND it's got catboys. like COME. ON.#n ok sure there's only like 1 black character. but have u considered that shes cool as hell & i love her so so much
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hiiii i snapped again long rant abt totk's shit story under the cut
i hate totk's story so fucking much this was going to be a much longer post but i do not care i hate how it relies so much on the player already giving a damn and hardly does any work to make you care any more, i hate how link's sheer lack of any indication of how he feels about anything beyond basic reactions to his environment just makes him feel like a nothing character in the story, i hate how zelda was sanded down to be just perfect and inoffensive and dutiful, i hate how sonia literally existed to motivate rauru and zelda, i hate how ganondorf, despite having the most interesting animations and being the most entertaining character, had such nebulous motivations and lackluster connection to the actual world he's in, i hate how any character arc that existed was so vapid and shallow, i hate how it seemed so afraid to do literally anything complicated with its themes or characters, i hate how nothing important changed in any meaningful way, i hate how fucking insulting it feels when it's come after stories like ocarina of time, majora's mask, twilight princess, skyward sword, wind waker, pretty much any of the other fucking zelda games and is fucking $70 and yet its story and characters just feel worse than anything that came before it. i watched the scene of link and zelda meeting back up for the first time in skyward sword and the emotion from both link and zelda and the sense of history between them the dialogue manages to communicate and how it relates back to the rest of the story and while i loved it it also just made me so mad how this game's hd version came out before totk and totk just was so much fucking worse despite all of this proof that they could do otherwise
#salty talks#i am not tagging this as any game i will probably get fucking eviscerated if i make this easy for the majority of the loz fandom to find#i just- totk is the most recent zelda game! it's $70! and it just feels fucking bad when compared to other older cheaper zelda games!!!!#this story isnt meh it fucking sucks it makes me feel like a rabid fucking animal when i have to think about it what the FUCK#there are good things in this fucking game. but where it fails is just so god damn irritating bc its shit older games did well!!#and this fucking game is going to get perfect scores and the people in charge are just going to keep doing shit like this#bc it makes money who fucking cares about telling a good story or having good characters any more. fuck off#i keep saying 'i miss linebeck' as my shorthand for why this game pisses me off#i just. man people fucking hate phantom hourglass but still it managed to have an incredible character with incredible development#and emotional relevance to the story and the game worked to endear him to you and showed you little things through how he moved#totk made me worse sometimes i fucking hate how much i care about stories in games#at least if i didnt care this game wouldn't make me so genuinely angry at how its just a god damn fucking LET DOWN but everyone loves it#GOD i hate being a contrarian sometimes i hate that i can barely understand how people like this game like its the best thing ever made#ive played fucking flash games with more interesting characters and worldbuilding and emotion. fuck off#like. in a similar vein ganondorf still being fucking green pisses me off so bad bc its been 25 years since oot and they have not changed#it really seems like they dont fucking care. theyre going to keep making money even if the stories are paper thin and the old problems stic#i barely understand why this game makes me so fucking angry. ig loz has been such a big part of my life and now i feel alienated from it#something something you expect more from the things you love? idk. fuck totk.#bitching abt totk
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it is saturday and I am but a simple highschooler and I am so so tired and it is literally 12:15pm and I want to just sit here and eat my banana pudding
#failing to control those emotions I mentioned earlier I am so angry and sick and frustrated#fuck the world why is fandom so complicated#I keep thinking abt shit I've heard and shit I've somewhat experience and I want to scream into a pillow for four hours#engaging in interests always makes me half regret it bc of all the shit I have to hear abt because of fandom.#I don't regret joining any of the fandoms because of the INCREDIBLE and AWESOME people and friends I get to meet because of it#but stuff also is bad and annoying sometimes#I am starting to understand why most people refuse to engage and interact with other people in fandoms. its because#you slowly learn of all the drama and then you end up feeling like you're being pulled on by either end#it feels like I'm constantly the rope in a game of tug of war when it comes to most fandom spaces. like this experience happens too often#because ohhh you have this one side who believes this and another who believes that#AND SOMETIMES I MAKE STUPID POSTS OR COMMENTS THAT I GET REMINDED OF A BUNCH AND I WANT TO CRY.#I'm literally a fucking kid dammit I am not trying to change the world or anyhthing I just have opinions and I say them and sometimes#I speak before I think and sometimes I'm wrong and that is something that happens. not all of my opionions are solid locked in constantly#and SOMETIMES people who I think are cool turn out to be LESS COOL and SOMETIMES I feel like I say or do things that ruin my friends'-#-fandom experience and I fear they secretly hate me#okay that's it rant's over now
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Oh, yes, I just love your unannounced sleepover where you both come back from the bar after carefully avoiding telling me that's where you were going, and also neglecting to tell me when you'd be home! I definitely do not want to knock you on your ass and take a bat to your dome! That would be rude and unnecessary :)
Oh yes, please do start talking about shit amongst yourselves and make me feel isolated and othered in ny own room! These moments are what I live for, of course. Naturally. Who would ever have any issues with this arrangement at all?
#txt#might delete this later but i also might not because my irritation and rage is real and i shouldnt have to so constantly discard it#i am so tired of constantly putting it aside#i want your blood in my fucking teeth. and it's your fault i want it there- certainly- because I TRY. I try so hard not to feel this way#but eventually you get tired of those little games too#okay I drafted this for a minute bc idk if this fucker is actually spending the night or not i just know he took off his belt. BUT THEN ONE#+ OF THESE FUCKERS DECIDED TO START TALKING ABOUT SPIDERS. A THING THAT I HAVE A VERY BAD PHOBIA ABOUT. I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU#thinking of killing and maiming and maiming and killing and killing and shredding and tearing and killing and-#seriously though what. the fuck. you even go ''oh they're not gonna like this'' THEN HOW ABOUT YOU DONT FUCKING SAY IT#ohh and now you're sitting here making plans for when you go out without me next! I'm going to make you a bloody smear on my fucking floor#i am going to Dissect you. I'm going to rip you apart and feed you to the local strays and csrrion birds.#not even getting up and leaving right fucking now would assuage me. i wish i wasn't so full of fucking hate but you just keep adding fuel +#+to the fire#im so tired. I'll come back with a ''im fine now'' if he fucking leaves but im going to seethe now. im so fucking angry.#how do you fucks continually just bounce between the topics that makes me feel Most Violent Towards You? literally how do you not realize i#+ want you dead at this point? how do you not realize the grave you've dug for yourselves in my mind?#i dont fucking mask it that well. i know i dont. and still you fucking do this#((part of why it being a bar specifically that bothers me besides the very deliberate and careful avoidance of mentioning it to me is that#+*one of you is at serious risk for becoming an alcoholic. why the fuck are you being enabled this way?*))#((if i was dating someone with a genetic predisposition of alcoholism i would make your regular dates nights- idk- NOT THE FUCKING BAR +#+ DISTRICT. DO YOU EVEN FUCKING CARE ABOUT THEM? DO YOU? This fucking boils my god damn blood.))#(ultimately its their decision if they want to fucking drink yeah sure whatever YOU DONT NEED TO REGULARLY AND READILY ENABLE IT. BASTARD.)#(If they want to drink so fucking bad- if they push for the bars- JUST BUY SOME ALCOHOL AND BRING IT FUCKING HERE. It limits how much they+#+can have for one- and it would isolate me from you two less! just as an added fucking bonus! but no very unreasonable of me. what was i +#+thinking? clearly not about them 🙄)#i might be a little out of line here. i can admit that. but if anyone spent a week in my fucking shoes back when they first got together +#+and then now? you would fucking understand.#and they just. keep. talking. to eachother. no attempts to include me. not even glances my way. like always.#''oh nothing will change'' IT FUCKING CHANGED. I want to hurt you so bsdly for that lie with ever passing day. do you even know it was a li#do you? anyway was abt to post this and noticed a gif i have of a woman ripping her shirt off so im going to stare at that until im calm ig.
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GB Patch Games: Response About Sensitivity Reader
[Some of you might not have heard of this happening, but I wanted to address it across the board]
Hey everyone,
I want to make a post about the screenshots of comments from one of our sensitivity readers. The situation is that neither me or Rose want people to feel uncomfortable with Our Life: Now & Forever, but Rose hasn’t done anything terribly wrong and isn’t going to be punished.
The comment about OL MCs wasn’t meant to be genuine hatred towards all male players/MCs of OL. Rose wrote a reply about it-
"Hi everyone! This is Rose, I want to address the male MC comment since it was taken wildly out of context and without the lengthy discussion that was after it. I don't hate male MCs, in fact far from it, male MCs are integral to the story in OL:NF as female and trans MCs are. I think the relationship they could potentially have with Qiu could be a great asset in my opinion as they figure out their gender alongside the MC. The discussion itself was about how I noticed players were sticking to heteronormative norms by shipping Tamarack with a man purely out of societal norms than it was genuine thought into the characters and how I personally wished there was more sapphic relationships with Tamarack or just Tamarack with trans characters as a sapphic trans person myself. I didn't mean to offend anyone by it as no one but my friends who understood what I legitimately meant behind my message and it definitely wasn't meant to be seen seriously. I am sorry regardless to anyone I have offended and I love your male MCs regardless."
And most of the comments were about me. I’ve seen screenshots of the full conversations and they’re not as harsh as the cropped snippets made them out to be. It was longer discussions about not including Derek in any base game Moments for no good reason and not having any plus-sized love interests in OL1 because I was afraid players wouldn’t accept it. That’s not a lie, it’s what I decided for the game I created, and it is ridiculous of me. I’m the one who should be feeling embarrassed over how OL1 will forever be that way, not the people who remember that I did that. I’m not perfect and Rose actually cares more about the players than making me feel like I am flawless.
I also don’t want to tone police an employee venting about their boss in private, on their own time. Both the OL games deal with personal, important topics. This is sensitive work, and it can bring up frustrations. Sometimes people do use harsh words among friends, but they wouldn’t ever say it to a person seriously and directly.
I understand if you wouldn’t want to see anyone speak badly of a dev you like, but I promise it’s not a point of contention between me and Rose. I don’t feel mistreated in anyway. Rose genuinely cares about the Our Life series, and that’s why they get fed up with me over certain parts of the game.
Rose has never been unkind or unreasonable to me when working on the project, and their advice is detailed and well-explained. They do care about the game and want it to avoid having content that upsets people because of my own ignorance/shortcomings.
This being shared publicly from a private server is targeting Rose and seems to be a continuation of things that have happened before this. I don’t want this to continue happening. If you do still have concerns over the one comment about the community, you can let me know. But again, I don’t want people being mistrustful of Rose on my behalf for comments about me in conversations with missing context.
Do not send angry messages to Rose about any of this. We’ll do our best so that OL2 will be better than I was before. Thank you to everyone who reads this and participates in the community!
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Night in Vegas- Lando x fem reader
Summary: Y/N had been Lando's PR, it had been messy and she moved to Red Bull, but maybe things were not as bad as she thought.
Warnings: Abusive Max (Sorry someone had to be the bad guy) smutty ending.
Notes: No hate to anyone this story just needed a villain.
___________________________________________
The moment the job offer came from Red Bull you didn't think it twice. You had been Lando's PR for the last 2 years, which was kind of a nightmare. He had the worst cases of verbal diarrhea, not that Max didn't but the paycheck was worth the extra work. Also, the interactions with Lando had always been weird and uncomfortable.
He was so nice and funny around everyone else but you, whenever it was just you two, you could hear the grass grow. In the beginning, you tried to get to know him, create somewhat of a bond so you could understand him better and work around that info, but every time you tried to get him to tell you something about him he would shut you out, keeping his answers short and dry.
And here you were, your first six months as Max PR agent were...interesting, he was a master in driving but thanks to his dad and the people around him, his public image was a challenge, a challenge you loved to work, at least you did until he started showing his real self. It began with small tantrums, mood swings when an interview had been scheduled when he had agreed to go play paddle, or that one time on a bad day when a reporter asked him about his dad's history with the law even when you had precisely warned them not to ask about any of that.
But that was all fun and games until tonight's event for the Vegas GP. Usually, the US GP's parties were a nightmare. Tons and tons of media people and influencers with little idea about F1. Yet they were important to attend because of the amount of rich people the teams craved as their lawful sponsors, so all the drivers were requested to go. This meant an awful fight with Max who hated these events where he had to "prostitute" himself for a couple of millions, it was particularly tricky now that some pictures and supposed messages showing Kelly might have been cheating, surfaced. You promised him to warn everybody that any questions about his personal life were off the table for any of the interviews, but American media cared little about that.
"Are you stupid or something?" His angry voice was so much like his dad's. Dry, hurtful, and insulting even when he wasn't using big curse words.
"Max, I told everyone personal questions were off the table. I sent a memo last week and a reminder this morning" You walked following him closely as he exited the event venue. Your heels making it difficult for you to keep his pace.
"I don't care!" He stopped and turned towards you abruptly, making you crash against his body. "If Christian gives me any shit about not being here I will make sure he knows this was all your fault" His voice loud and angry felt even more intimidating as he was towering over you, his red face so close to yours you could feel the heat radiate from it.
"But-"
"Shut it, I don't want to hear it" He spat.
"Hey, mate, easy" You both turned to look at the curled hair driver approaching at a firm pace.
"Lando, this has nothing to do with you"
"It does when you're talking like that to Y/N" He gently held your arm pulling you back, placing himself between you and Max.
"How did you deal with this shit for two years? she's the worst"
"I disagree, she's the best"
"What? Why are you defending her?" Max looked in shock from Lando's intervention, and to be honest, so were you.
"Because I know the mess you are and you talking to her like that is unacceptable and most likely uncalled for. We should've never let her go, I've begging Zak to get her back and after this, there's no way I'm letting her stay at RB"
"What the fuck? I don't...Wait, did you two ...? She must be a good fuck if you want her back so bad" A bitter laugh left his chest.
There it was, the angry verbal diarrhea.
You wanted to jump in and tell him you had never even crossed two complete phrases with Lando, how the hell were you going to fuck him? But no sound left your body, you were just a passenger in this trainwreck.
"Max, come on, It's not her fault your life's a fucking mess and that you have no idea how to deal with it. And take it from me, mate, you don't need a PR manager, you need a therapist."
"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Max took a couple of steps forward and faced Lando menacingly. He wasn't much taller than the Brit but seemed angry enough to cause damage.
"This is enough" You finally spoke, your voice shaky as you grabbed Lando's arm trying to pull him back. But he didn't move an inch.
"I'm not afraid of you mate" Lando hissed.
"Ok enough" You said in the most motherly voice ever and stepped in between them. "Lando, thanks but that's enough. You two don't want to do or say anything you'll regret later"
"See you on the track, mate" Said Lando as he took your hand and pulled you toward the parking lot.
You walked with him still in shock from the situation, expecting for him to let go of your hand as soon as you were out of sight from Max, but he kept going until he reached the Valet and gave him his ticket.
"Thanks fo that" You tried breaking the uncomfortable silence. "I think I need to go back there tho, I might not have a job tomorrow, but I don't need them to fire me because of not complying with my duties, Maybe I can find Max and convince him-"
"If they don't fire you, you're quitting" He said as he typed on his phone.
"What?! No, I can't do that, I can't afford to lose my job"
"You'll have a job"His voice was confident as he kept typing.
"Lando, I really-"
"Your car, Mr.Norris" The valet cut you off opening the passenger door for you.
"Get in" Lando walked toward the door to hold it himself.
"Lan-"
"Get in... please" He finally looked at you, something in his eyes telling you to do it. Not wanting to perform another scene now in front of the valet, you got inside the fancy McLaren. Your feet thanked you for the much-needed rest after the little sprint.
He removed his suit jacket, got in the driver's side, and drove off.
"I swear, you're not going to be jobless, you can stop with the bouncy leg" A hint of a laugh in his voice. Of course, he could laugh about it, he was worth millions, if he lost his job that same night, he'd have enough money to live comfortably for two lives.
Your phone started ringing in your bag. Chirstian's face on your screen made your heart beat a thousand miles. You could almost hear him, his calm yet angry voice made your skin crawl.
"Don't answer him, there's no need"
"Lando, you don't get it, it's not that simple"
A ding on his phone and a pop-up notification on his console screen called your attention.
Zak: Fine, I'm ok with it, we can talk details tomorrow.
"See?" He said smiling at the notification. You stared at him confused.
"I promised him I would behave my best for the rest of my contract if they took you back. Welcome back to Mclaren" A big smile on his face. It was odd being on the receiving end of that smile.
"Sadly, you won't be working with me. You will be part of the team's PR, I think that's an even bigger paycheck, tho"
"Ok, stop stop stop" Your voice filled with slight panic. "What the fuck's happening?"
"Wow, your first bad word" He was way too entertained with the situation.
"That you know of" Your facade was off, screw being professional, this moment was a moment for panic.
Christian's number shined on your screen again.
"Hello" You finally answered.
"Y/N, I just got a thousand messages from Max, and from the team at the event, what's going on?"
"Christian, Max lost it after some journalist asked him about Kelly, I had clearly said no questions about that were allowed"
"You should not have left Max to leave the party, we need him back there"
"I tried to stop him but-"
"No buts, Y/n, that's your job"
"No"
"What?"
"No, that's not my job, I'm not a babysitter, I'm a PR agent, I should not be dealing with tantrums and the equivalent of being spit in the face by an angry baby just because he's Max Verstappen"
You took a deep breath as the man on the other side of the phone kept quiet. Netflix would kill to have footage of this situation.
"I quit" You finally said
"What?" His high-pitched voice told you he was as surprised as you by the words leaving your mouth. You turned to look a Lando, he had the biggest smile on his face.
"I quit, Christian. I can stop by to sign my resignation tomorrow."
"But-"
"I'm sorry but I have to go now. I will stop by your office tomorrow to sign whatever is needed and to return my credentials. Have a good night" You hung up with shaky hands. As much as you sounded confident you were screaming inside.
"Nice" Lando's accent so thick.
"Oh my God" You placed your head between your legs and took deep breaths, trying not to faint.
"It's ok, it will all be ok" You felt his hand run softly up and down your back which felt weirdly soothing and calming.
You finally felt calm enough to lift your head, realizing he had pulled over at a truck stop next to the highway.
"What the fuck just happened?" You closed your eyes, the world felt as if it was spinning out of orbit.
"It will be ok, you were amazing"
"I will regret this tomorrow"
"I could help you with that" he said under his breath, you barely catching his words.
"What?"
"Never mind. Listen, you'll be fine, you'll join the team for the next season, and you can take this time as a well-deserved vacation"
"What are you talking about? Maybe Zak only told you that so you would stop bothering him. I can't wait until the next season. Oh my God, I need to call Christian back, if I apologize and explain that I was drunk or something he might not fire me" you said as you fumbled with your phone trying to get your shaky hands to get your calls.
"Stop, no, Y/n" In a swift move, Lando took your phone from your hand.
"Give it back! This is all your fault!"
"What?!"
"If you had stayed out of this I might have convinced Max to go back to the party and none of this had happened" You said as you almost jumped over him to get your phone back as he moved his hand around keeping you away from it.
"Oh c'mon, you wouldn't have lasted two more weeks with his annoying ass, I love Max but he's a pain" He sounded way too entertained by all this.
"Lando, stop it! Give me back my phone!"
"No, you have to calm down"
"No, give it back" you were almost kneeling over the seat.
"Y/n, stop"
"No"
"Y/n!"
"NO, GIVE IT-" Before you could finish your sentence his free hand grabbed you from your neck and pulled you toward him, his lips crashed into yours, finally getting you to stop moving. You even stopped breathing.
After a couple of seconds or hours, you weren't sure anymore, he let go of the fist he had formed around your hair and pulled back. His cheeks flushed as if he had been the one who had gotten kissed out of nowhere.
"Have I been drugged? Am I hallucinating? This has to be a weird trip"
His particular laugh sent chills down your spine.
"C'mon, it wasn't my best job but I'm not used to kissing people as they're having a panic attack, I needed you to calm down"
"And kissing me was the best you could come up with?"
"You're not thinking about your phone or Christian anymore, are you?"
"You're sick"
"Listen, I'm sorry I did it like that, ok? I stepped over a boundary and I apologize, but I know that after this you might hate me for the rest of your life and this seemed like the only moment I was going to be able to do it, so I'm sorry but not really"
"You can't go around kissing people just because"
"I didn't do it just because"
"What?"
"Y/N, I'm fucking in love with you!" He screamed.
"What?" Your voice is barely a whisper
"I'm sorry, I was dumb ok?"
"I'm not getting any of this"
"Ok, I'll explain. It took me about 2 months to fall head over heels for you, ok? You're smart, incredibly beautiful, funny, and so good at your job, it was hard not to fall in love with you. But I know I can be an asshole, so trying to stay away from you and not ruin everything I behaved like an even bigger asshole, pushing you away and into Red Bull's arms. So as an apology, I've been having talks with Zak. this has been going on for months. So no this just didn't come up, Max just made it easier for me to set the plan in motion"
You stared at his proud face in awe.
"Are you breathing?" He asked when not. single sound had left your body for a long time.
"You're in love with me?"
"Um yeah" He blushed and almost looked away but he didn't.
"For the two years we worked together, you were in love with me?"
"Yeah, basically"
"You have a shitty way of showing love"
"Sorry" he laughed under his breath
"You're nuts"
"I know" As soon as he saw you had calmed down he stretched his hand softly caressing your cheek. "I'm nuts for you"
"Ew, don't"
He laughed, the sound making you feel something new.
"I don't know"
"What?"
"What's going on"
"Maybe another kiss might help? I'm actually asking this time"
"Ok" You answered in a low whisper.
"Ok" He softly whispered as he took you by the neck, and pulled you toward him. It was a mutual kiss now, your lips dancing with his. His tongue traced your lips and they parted allowing your tongue to start a fight with his.
The kiss heated up as his other hand grabbed your hips and pulled you over him. Your ass pressed on the horn startling both of you and making you laugh, but quickly you returned to your make-out session.
His hand shily traveled down your spine and stopped over the soft satin fabric covering your ass. You knew exactly what he was trying to test, so you moved yours down his chest, feeling his racing heart, and traveled down all the way to his pants. You could feel his growing bulge and you gave it a squeeze. He moaned deeply and he gave a slap to your ass, making you moan too.
You were about to unbuckle his belt but his hand landed over yours.
"Wait, do you actually want to do this?" he asked out of breath.
"Yes" Your voice shaky from the excitement.
"Are you sure? I don't want to force you or-"
"Lando, I want you to fuck me"
Your words sent an electric shock through his body, you could even feel his dick twitch under your hand.
"I'm all yours" He smiled and moved his lips to your neck, you threw your head back giving him space to explore it and its sensitive areas. He gave soft bites around it, as he stretched to the glove compartment getting a condom out of it.
"You're a manwhore"
"I was just manifesting this"
"Sure" you answered squinting your eyes.
"I promise, You can ask Oscar, I've not had sex for months"
"I don't need to know that"
"Yeah you do, I swear I wasn't going to use this with anyone else, I promise"
He was most likely lying, but you decided to believe him, at least for tonight.
"Fine" You said as you took the condom from his hand and opened it as your lips went back to his.
He helped you by pulling down his pants and his boxers enough for his throbbing cock to spring out and slap his stomach.
"Hello Mr. Norris" You said with a cheeky smile
"Don't act so surprised"
"Sorry"
He now took the hem of your dark blue dress and pulled it over your hips, softly caressing the soft flesh of your thighs and ass. He moaned at the feeling of no underwear under it.
"You're naughty"
"There's a lot of things you don't know about me"
"I love it" He said and bit your lower lip as he placed you over his hard cock. You took the condom and without breaking the kiss you rolled it over his dick, enjoying the feeling of the heat and the veins that ran through it.
He couldn't wait any longer and as soon as he felt the condom in place he lifted his hips entering you in one deep thrust making you moan loudly from the incredible feeling of being so full.
"Fuck, Lando" you said as he started thrusting. A slow yet hard pace made your eyes roll to the back of your head, as he held you one hand by the neck the other one caressing your ass.
"Fuck, you're so fucking perfect" He moaned against your tits that were spilling out your dress.
He took one of your nipples in his mouth, pushing you closer to your release.
You had forgotten when was the last time you had sex, but none of your previous experiences could compare to this one. Lando being a manwhore was quite a benefit.
His hips hitting against yours at such a perfect pace was driving you crazy. He could tell by the way you were pulsing around him that you were close. This was probably a record and he was going to savor it.
He brought one of his hands down to your clit and just a couple of circles helped by how wet you were pushed you over the edge, loudly moaning his name in his ear. That sweet sound looped in his brain, making him reach his climax shortly after.
"Fuck" he finally said after you two had reached a decent breathing pace.
"Shit"
"Fourth curse word of the night"
"Shut it" You said as you pushed yourself off his chest and kissed him.
"I'm going to love having you around again"
"Me too"
"Well, Max was right about one thing" A cheeky grin on his face.
"What?"
"You're such a good fuck"
"You're a dick" You slapped his chest as he pulled you back to kiss him.
This was probably going to be a mess, but at least for a couple of months you were unemployed and free to date whoever you wanted, that included F1 drivers who would probably be off limits once your contract started, but that was a problem for your versions of the future.
Tag List: @wtrmlnsgr94, @ricsaigaslec, @ironmaiden1313, @formulas-bitch,
#f1 fiction#f1 imagine#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#f1 x reader#lando x y/n#f1 x y/n#lando norris fluff#f1 smut#lando norris smut
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I’d let the world burn for you
Silco x fem reader (ANGST!)
Synopsis: When Jinx undergoes shimmer surgery to save her life, but what if it was his lover instead of Jinx?
CW: season 1 spoilers, established relationship, reader sustains a near fatal injury, heavy talk of needles, shimmer and its effects, brief mentions of bl00d, brief mentions of a knïfe, talk of drügs, surgery, angst with good ending, possible grammar/spelling errors, proofread
A few great songs that I listened to while writing this incase yall are interested! I truly can’t recommend this soundtrack enough, it’s so perfect ♥️
AN: this idea came to me spontaneously and I kind of just wanted to see where my mind could take it! It is 1am however as I post this so please be kind. 😭 Also felt like changing it up a little bit with some angst thrown into the mix, I’m enjoying writing for Silco but of course, asks are open if yall want anything in particular! As always, I hope you all enjoy! ♥️
Where did it all go wrong? It was the question he’d been asking himself for far too long now, wondering what he could have possibly done, how this unspeakable act could have been avoided. Yet through all the possibilities there wasn’t an answer he’d come to that satisfied him enough. No answer that brought him enough peace.
One moment he was in his chair, leaned over his desk with a drink in hand as he looked over the papers that sat in front of him. The next, Sevika was carrying your limp body that sat unmoving in her arms. Now here you were, coldly strapped to a surgical table, making you look more like a test subject for something horrific rather than a patient seeking care, your breathing so faint that he couldn’t tear his eyes away from you, afraid that if he did you may stop breathing all together. “How did this happen?!” Silco asked, hands gripping the edge of the table so tight that his knuckles were turning white, anger heavily entwined in his tone as he looked to Sevika. He needed answers and hated that he didn’t have a single one. “I don’t know, I was inside when it happened. I’d heard what sounded like a scuffle from not too far but I didn’t think anything of it at the time. Figured maybe a topsider had tread into the wrong territory, or was a deal gone bad. Then when I stepped outside I just saw her lying there” Sevika answered, looking to you as your body lay bound to the table uncaringly, a pang of sympathy in her gaze as she looked upon you in such a tragic state. As much as she didn’t understand your dynamic with Silco, she couldn’t deny the fact that she’d started to warm up to you a little over time. Seeing Silco happy because of you gave her a semblance of peace, and everyone took notice of the way that you seemed to brighten up the place a bit whenever you were around. She admired the way that he was willing to burn the world to cinders and ash for you, how you were the calm to his raging storm. You complimented one another perfectly. Despite her lack of understanding of your relationship, you didn’t deserve what had been done to you, and they both had a feeling it was likely a strategic hit. One meant to rattle Silco, throw him off his game and distract him, yet all it seemed to do was fuel his already raging fire. “And you didn’t even think to check?!” He asked, blind rage flowing through him like the very blood in his veins. “How was I supposed to know it was her? You can’t expect me to keep my ear out every time there’s a fight! For fucks sake, they happen too often here!” She defended, making him sigh heavily with agitation. She was right, it was rather unreasonable of him to expect such a thing but he felt so helpless in this moment, he couldn’t stop himself from lashing out. Seeing you hurt to such a point as this made him angry. Ultimately he was out of control in this situation, and it left him seeing red.
He smoothed his hands through his hair as he looked up at the ceiling to the bright lights, trying to collect himself the best he could for the time being. “Find who did this” he ordered, ready to give whoever did this to you as taste of his wrath. “Are you sure you want to stay here for this? I can watch over her if you’d rather. I can’t imagine this is going to be easy on either of you, especially her” she offered, knowing this would be hard for him to watch, and even harder on you to have to go through it. “No, I need to be here. I can handle it, I need to know she’s okay” he replied before looking to you, grabbing your hand gently in his, touching you so softly and carefully as if you were made of glass and could shatter at any moment. He wasn’t there to aid you when you’d gotten hurt, the guilt of it ate away at him, forcing him to stay here with you now, even if the sight of you in such pain tore him apart inside. “Who could do such a thing as awful as this to someone this kind?” He asked, his question rhetorical but gods how he wished he had an answer. Perhaps it was better if he didn’t, but it baffled him nonetheless. “When you find who did this, be sure to send them to me. An act this egregious will suffer a great consequence” he finished, watching her nod her head silently in acknowledgment before walking out to find who did this to you.
“This process will be…demanding. Sometimes death is a far greater mercy” Singe spoke as he walked over to his tools, ensuring everything was prepped for your procedure. “She can take it. I know she can” Silco replied, looking to the scarred man as he pulled out a syringe and a vial, filling it with a yellowish-green liquid. “Before I begin, I must know; are you prepared to lose her?” Singe asked, a question that made Silco furrow his brows in confusion as he looked to the doctor. What kind of question is that? It was a preposterous question, one he couldn’t possibly think of any other response to than the one he was about to give. As he was about to speak, he heard you sputter into a short coughing fit, blood splattering along your lower lip and chin as you winced and groaned in pain, writhing beneath the binds that held you to the table. Silco’s eyes widened with a gasp as you did, all but hurling himself toward you to check and see if you were okay. He leaned over you, hand cupping your cheek as a look of concern flashed across his face, trying to read your expression and watching your breathing as he called your name in the hopes it would get you to look at him. He wasn’t looking for a sign, anything to show him that you were okay. Yet your eyes were too heavy to open, body too weak to respond the way he wanted you to.
“She won’t die, doctor. She can’t” he finally responded, placing a gentle kiss to your cheek as his hand smoothed through your hair, sweeping it from your face in attempts to keep it out of your eyes should they open again before the process began. He hovered over you protectively, thumb caressing your skin in a soothing manner. It was a soft gesture you’d always done to him, a gesture he’d adopted from you after the countless times you’d done it to him. From wiping the tear from his eye after his injections, to simply doing so to grab his attention, it was something so soft, so gentle, so you. It only felt right to return the gesture. “I understand” the doctor replied, pulling out a chair, the hiss of the metal scratching against the floor a vile sound that filled the air for thankfully only a moment before he trailed over to the table and behind Silco. “But please understand, this is for your own sanity” Singe said as he injected half of the syringe of liquid into Silco’s neck, helping him fall to the chair he had pulled out. The dizziness and weakness had already begun to set in, the world moving around him slower and more blurry than normal. Everything was slightly muffled as if he were underwater, finally making it click what he had injected him with. It was a sedative.
You gasped for air as your eyes opened, coughs sputtering from your throat that felt dry as sandpaper. Your eyes scanned your surroundings, fear evident in your gaze as you looked to the bright lights then searched your surroundings, panic striking you as you fought against the straps holding you against the table. You yelped in pain as an injection was soon pushed into your veins, causing you to look down at what was happening. The bright purple liquid shining beneath your skin told you that it was Shimmer coursing through you now. It left trails up your arm from the injection site, purple and black trails that looked as if it were reviving your cells and killing them at the same time. It was terrifying, and the pain was insurmountable, leaving you to groan in pain and muscles tensed as you squirmed on the cold, metal table.
For a moment, the pain seemed to let up long enough for you to turn your head to the other side of the room to see Silco in a chair, slumped over. He looked tired, but something wasn’t quite right, he wouldn’t be so tired as to sleep while this was happening. Your breathing was harsh, ragged even as you tried to focus on his expression but the ebbing pain, mixed with the effects of the shimmer as it reached your blood stream and found its way through every vein and artery now made it nearly impossible. “Sil…” you called out for him weakly, attempting to reach out towards him but your hands were bound to the table, leaving you to lie there helplessly. You felt so cold, so sore, but above all else, you felt so alone. Was this death? Rebirth maybe? You weren’t sure, all you knew was that it was extremely unpleasant, your body and mind screaming for it to be over. Unfortunately your painless moment had quickly come to an end as more of the iridescent liquid seared through your veins once more, only serving to turn the veins within your arm more and more angry as you winced in pain. You gasped and sputtered as it climbed up your arm, past your shoulder into your neck before spilling from your tear ducts and mouth as you coughed, desperate for air to fill your lungs. You felt as if you were nearly drowning, as if you were being given far too much for your body to be able to withstand. A shrill, excruciating scream escaped you as you begged for it to stop, detesting cries leaving your lips as agony consumed you whole. It felt like torture and all you could do was endure it. “I understand this must be painful. I’m afraid it will only get worse” the doctor spoke, his apathetic words doing nothing to soothe your pain or calm you as he brought another needle to your cheek. “No! No, please no…stop!” You yelled, trying your hardest to jerk away from the needle but it was no use, like a caged animal, there was no escape from this. You closed your eyes as he pricked you again, making you cry out once more in pain as your body was shocked and overwhelmed from the sheer amount of trauma being done to it. He only seemed to smile as he did all this to you, watching you writhe in agony and cry out in pain only seemed to bring him joy in a way that you loathed. Everything around you was getting fuzzy at the edges, you couldn’t tell what was real and what was not. From there, it was all a blur. Your mind blacking out from the immense amount of pain in such a concentrated period of time. It had felt like an eternity before it all was finally over.
Silco opened his eye to see his hands resting against his thighs, the world spinning around him as he did his best to shake the effects of the drug he was injected with, trying to ground himself to reality. How much time had passed? Was the procedure done? Had he healed you? All questions that he again, did not have the answers to, but at least they were easier to access being that he was here in the room with you. He looked up from the floor to the table, seeing you were no longer bound in those awful straps, but that your eyes were still closed, not looking much different than when he first brought you in here. He groaned with confusion as he fought to catch his breath that seemed a little harder to obtain than normal, stumbling to his feet and towards the doctor who was currently washing a blade with his back turned to Silco. He turned momentarily when Silco pushed him against the sink, grasping him with all the energy and strength he could muster, looking upon him angrily with a fire raging in his eyes. “What have you done?” He rasped out, voice laced with vexation and eyes filled with malice as he waited for the doctor to answer him. “I saved her life” he responded matter-of-factly, making him only scowl deeper as he quickly snatched the knife from the sink and pointed it at Singe, not believing him.
“Sil…?” You called out weakly, voice hoarse from all your coughing, screaming and crying but just loud enough for him to catch. His eyes widened with surprise as he heard you, head turning to look at you reaching out for him. Your eyes searched around the room for him as you’d only just returned to consciousness. In a moment’s notice the knife came clambering to the ground as he stumbled over to you, doing the best he could to get there quickly despite the effects of the drug still weighing pretty heavy in his system. He grabbed your hand as he made it, resting his other against the table and using it to hold him up as he hovered over you protectively again. Silco felt you weakly squeeze his hand back, prompting him to pull you up into a hug so fast you could hardly recognize it had happened. “Thank gods you’re here” you spoke. He was so overcome with joy and relief to see that you were okay, or at least responsive, which compared to how you were before, was already a massive improvement. “I’m here, darling. I’m here, I’ll always be here” he assured, his hand smoothing over the back of your head as he held you protectively in his arms. He nearly cried as he felt you wrap your arms around him in return, kissing your head gently as his heart raced, pounding harshly within his chest from all the adrenaline coursing through him.
His heart broke as he saw the effects the procedure had done to your body, looking to the purple and black streaks running up your arms, tainting your perfect skin. He’d recognized those effects from anywhere. Shimmer. Rage overtook him once more as he turned to the doctor upon his realization. “You used Shimmer on her?!” He asked, voice raised in disbelief that he would use such a harsh, untamed chemical on you under the guise of trying to help you. “It saved her, didn’t it?” The doctor replied, making him seethe with exasperation. “It could have KILLED her!” Silco spat, not taking kindly to Singe’s apathetic tone, but your soft touch brought him back to reality. Your hand cupped his cheek, turning him to face you in the hopes that you could soothe his anger, and you managed to do so with ease. His eyes fell to yours as he turned, that wicked, violent look in his gaze beginning to fade away as he looked at you, seeing a new shade residing in your irises than before. He was doing his best to not allow the scars that had climbed up your arm to your neck to break this tender moment, but he couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt that he caused you this pain, he caused these scars, these changes. Yet you continued to smile at him as if he hung the stars in the sky above. The atrocities he would commit for you to see that smile stay stretched across your sweet lips. To keep you safe and happy. He would kill for you, die for you. “It’s okay, I’m here love. There is no need for such violence, I promise” you spoke, your kind voice so strained, but you were right, he had saved you, something he was thankful for, he just wished it could have been brought about any other way. He fought so long and so hard to keep you as far away from it as possible, yet here you stand, saved by it. It was a conflicting feeling. Now all that was left was to find the vile person caused all of this to come about, but perhaps that was better suited for another time, another day. For now, all he wanted was to get you home safe, to enjoy the time he has with you now that he wasn’t sure he would have when he and Sevika had first brought you here. You needed the rest, your body was tired and so sore. Your recovery was his top priority, so for now his vengeance would have to come another day, but he could rest easy for now knowing that you were still here with him. The world would live to survive another day, but make no mistake, he would burn it all to the ground for you if you asked him to.
#asks#asks open#send asks#silco arcane#arcane silco#arcane scenarios#arcane#arcane series#arcane angst#angst#angst with a happy ending#sevika#arcane sevika#sevika arcane#silco x you#silco fanfic#silco x reader#silco#silco angst#arcane shimmer#Spotify
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We Care About You (Part VI)
The Traveler finally gets to say what they wanted to say to [Y/N].
Content Warning(s): N/A
Notes: SAGAU; GN!Reader;
Word Count: 0.9k
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Taglist: @silverstarred; @victoria1676; @angelofdarkness2; @areaderspov; @andromeda-gay; @ash1; @mercy-not-merci; @toodledoodl3; @jellyedkazoo; @namine123; @innuwu; @agaygothicmushroom; @tired-of-life-86; @fantasyhopperhea; @sweetsourbxtch; @zenith-of-all-zeniths; @velleunv; @creativecupcake; @obsoletedeviant;
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"You're still looking stressed, [Y/N]. Are you sure you're okay?"
You looked up to see the Traveler's concerned face. "Oh, I'm fine, I guess. Sorry. I just really wasn't expecting something like this to happen."
"Paimon understands. Paimon would be scared too if she found herself summoned to another world."
You slowly nodded. You found yourself to be a lot more calm than you were roughly three minutes ago, but that didn't mean you weren't nervous. After all, you were talking with two people who are only known to exist inside of a game. Purely pixels on a screen. And yet, here you were having a genuine conversation with them.
"Speaking of which, you said you wanted to talk to me about your future journey?"
"Not mine, ours," the Traveler shook their head. "It's our future journey."
"No, it is yours," you rebutted, confidence rising within you. "I'm not the one traveling around Teyvat, you are."
"But you are with me, are you not?" the Traveler calmly refuted, crossing their arms. "You're the one who's been guiding me and all the others, right?"
Aaaaaaaaaaand your confidence is gone.
You nervously rubbed your hands together and avoided looking at the Traveler. "Is that how you see it? I'm... guiding you?"
Paimon tilted their head. "Yeah...? What, you don't see it that way?"
You hesitated for a second before you finally shook your head.
"Then what do you see it as?"
You were now very afraid. You wanted to tell them your honest thoughts, but you worried how they would react to it. Would they be angry? Would they threaten you to stop? Would they start fighting you?
... ... ...
...Would they kill you? Was this all just an act to lower your guard?
You gulped, tugging at the neckline of your shirt. "I kind of see it as..." you sighed, looking back down at the stone table.
"...Possession."
You waited for a response but received none. The worst kind of response you can get.
"I felt like I was manipulating your actions without your consent," you continued, your voice barely audible over the sounds of the night. "That's why I tried to make things better. But even then, you still fought back. I thought that you hated me. I thought that you brought me here to get rid of me..."
"...But if you see my actions as 'guiding' you..." you looked up. "...Then what does that make me in your eyes?"
Both the Traveler and Paimon had concentrated expressions on their faces. You waited for either of their expressions to change, but you were also afraid of what the new one would become. Would they be satisfied with your answer? Would they be furious? You didn't want to know. So instead, you put your arms on the table and rested your forehead on top of them.
If you didn't want to use your eyes, you'd have to use your ears, instead. You thought of all the audible reactions you would expect to hear. A slam of fists or hands, yelling and shouting, the sound of a sword being drawn.
Or worse of all, silence. You can rarely tell what a person is thinking whenever they are silent.
...That's what scares you the most.
You waited with bated breath for a response and thankfully it wasn't long before you got one. First, you heard the sound of fabric scraping against stone. Next, you heard the shifting of sand. Lastly, you heard footsteps growing louder by the step.
The Traveler was walking over to you.
At this point, you wanted to do something instead of being vulnerable to a potential threat. But deep down, you knew that it was useless. You couldn't flee because it would take the Traveler mere seconds to catch up with you. You couldn't fight because you knew that you had no shot of going against someone who has gone toe-to-toe with gods.
You are vulnerable. You are weak. You are useless. You are worthless.
...You are going to die.
Tears began to well up in your eyes, but you fought the urge to cry. You probably looked pathetic to them already.
You heard a couple of more steps before they stopped. They were standing right behind you.
Silence.
...
... ...
... … …
*SHING*
...
... ...
... … …
*WHOOSH*
...
... ...
... … …
*CLANG*
...?
...You didn't expect that noise. It came from your left.
You turned towards the noise and spotted the Traveler's dull sword.
"...Huh?"
Suddenly, you felt their arms wrap loosely around your neck.
You immediately stiffened your spine and brought your hands on top of theirs. However, before you could throw them off your body, you felt their head rest on your shoulder. Then they stopped.
... ... …
...Now you were confused. What were they doing?
... ... …
...Wait...
... ... …
...Is this... a hug...?
Sure enough, the more you thought about it, the more you believed that the Traveler was hugging you.
...But why?
"To me... in my eyes..."
... ... …
"You're my friend..."
The Traveler slightly tightened their hug.
"And I wouldn't know what to do without you..."
... ... …
You've finally relaxed.
And now that you are, there's one thing that you'd like to do.
Slowly, to not startle the Traveler, you got up from your seat and turned towards them. You could tell that they were wondering why you got up.
They stopped wondering when you went up and hugged them back. It took a while, but they wrapped your arms around your back in a friendly embrace.
"I wouldn't know what to do without you either."
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THE END
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Author's Notes: And that's the end of that! Hope everybody enjoyed the ending!
New Author’s Notes: I added an epilogue to this series. You can either treat this as the ending or the latter. Whichever best fits your interests.
Thanks again for all who liked, reblogged, and/or commented on this little series. I appreciate each and every one of you!
#genshin impact sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin self aware#sagau x reader#sagau#sagau genshin#platonic genshin x reader#platonic#gn reader#gender neutral reader#genshin impact
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One For Us
Pairing: Peeta Mellark x Reader
Synopsis: Peeta gets upset when you suggest getting married to appease the Capitol
Masterlist
“We could get married.”
Everyone stopped debating strategies for getting President Snow to believe your love story and looked up at you upon your suggestion. You felt self conscious with all the eyes on you so you looked to Peeta for help. You thought he’d agree with you but he was just staring at you with an almost hurt expression.
“What?” He asked you in a quiet voice.
“You said we’re gonna be on this train forever anyway, right? We’d have to get married eventually. We might as well do it right now to convince Snow how in love we are. We could make a huge deal of the proposal and the dress and cake. Don’t Capital people love all that kind of stuff?” You asked Haymitch.
“She’s right.” Haymitch agreed. “A wedding between the star crossed winners might be the one thing in more demand than the games. If we spin a story about the wedding being canceled due to the games, maybe the outrage would be enough to get the Capitol to change their minds about sending you two back in there.”
“Yeah. And we could go on Cesar’s show and say that we were so in love that we couldn’t wait any longer and had to get engaged. We can make a whole big thing of it. That should be enough to convince Snow that we’re in love, right?” You asked. Peeta blinked a few times and let out a short dry laugh.
“Fine. I don’t care. Let’s just do it.” Peeta sighed as he got up to leave. You frowned and watched him walk about without giving you so much as a glance in your direction. You looked at Haymitch and Effie and held up your hands with confusion.
“What’s his problem?”
“He’s probably just sore that he wasn’t the one who came up with the brilliant idea.” Haymitch replied and gave you a proud pat on the back.
“Oh my goodness. You fools.” Effie huffed and shook her head. “That’s not why he’s upset.”
“Then why? I’m just trying to help. It’s not like he came up with anything.” You said and folded your arms like a child out of annoyance over Peeta’s disapproval of your idea.
“He’s upset because this is not how he wanted this to happen.” Effie said as she looked at only you.
“So the idea of marrying me is so awful to him that he had to storm out of the room?” You grumbled.
“No, child. He’s not upset that he has to marry you. He’s upset that it’s only counterfeit.” Effie explained with a tight smile. You stopped being angry with Peeta and took a moment to process what she was saying.
“I’m gonna go talk to him.” You decided and got up to follow him. You found Peeta in the back of the train, staring out the window with his chin in his hand.
“Hey.” You said quietly as you sat down near him.
“Hi.” Peeta replied without taking his eyes off the window.
“I’m sorry about that back there. I should’ve talked to you before telling Haymitch about getting married. I didn’t think it would upset you.”
“It’s okay.” He said quietly. “It’s a great idea.”
“You hate it.” You laughed nervously and wished he’d look at you. A smile tugged on Peeta’s lips and he nodded his head.
“Yeah.” He admitted. “I do.”
“But why? Why do you not want to get married?” You asked. Peeta stayed silent and turned his head so that you couldn’t see his face. You got up to sit beside him and put your hand in his leg to silently comfort him until he was able to speak. He looked down at your hand before looking up and wiping his face with his sleeve.
“I do want to get married. I always have.” He admitted. “I always wanted to find a girl that I love and could be genuine companions with. And to not just get married because it was convenient or beneficial to us both, but because we were best friends and wanted to be with each other forever. So we’d take vows to promise each other that. And then have a big family and live a quiet but happy life.”
“Oh. I see. Marrying me would prevent you from finding her.” You nodded in understanding. It stung you a little to hear him talk about the life he dreamed of with someone else but you couldn’t place why you felt that way. Peeta finally turned his head to look at you and had a sad smile on his face.
“What?” You wondered.
“You know, when I was little, I always saw myself marrying you.” He admitted.
“You…you did?” You asked with a surprised smile.
“I did.” He nodded. “I liked you from the very first time I saw you. So I went home and told my mom I was gonna marry you. I was only six.”
“What’d she say?”
“She asked if you were the coal miners girl and I said yes. Then she told me she almost married your dad.”
“What? My dad?” You were taken aback and pointed to yourself.
“Yeah. He gave her a ring and everything. But it didn’t work out. I don’t remember why. Then she told me she hopes I don’t have the same fate as she did.” He said with a dry laugh.
“That’s too bad for them. But I think it’s cute you had a schoolboy crush on me.” You told him, making his cheeks adorn with a rosy glow.
“Trust me. It was more than a schoolboy crush. You had a hold on me for years. I had this whole plan to ask you to marry me after high school. I was gonna propose that we start a business together. I could sell my bread and you could sell game. I was going to get us a cow and chickens so we could save money on supplies. And we could build a house near the forest so you don’t have to travel far when you went to hunt. We’d be poor but we’d be happy. I was gonna tell you all of that when I proposed, by the way.”
“That’s a really good plan, Peeta. I had no idea you thought that all through.” You smiled softly as a sadness weighed on your chest. He had all these plans that would never be realized because of the cards he had been dealt. His sweet fantasy of a wholesome future together was going to be replaced with fake weddings and bloodshed.
“Yeah, I did. I really though it would happen too. That’s why I stormed out earlier. You suggested we get married and just sounded so cavalier. Like, it was just one more thing we could do to please Snow. And I guess it made me think of my plans for the future and how I was never going to get any of them. So I got upset. It wasn’t anything against you.” He assured you with a sad smile.
“I understand. I just thought you didn’t want to marry me. I didn’t know you had all those plans. I’m sorry they won’t be happening.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry too. You and I got reaped just a few months before I was gonna ask you. And I haven’t recognized my life since then. But before all of this, I really thought it was gonna happen. Given that you said yes, of course. I even told my mother about my plan. She gave me this.” Peeta said and pulled necklace out from underneath his shirt. On a leather cord was a dainty silver diamond ring.
“Oh my gosh, Peeta. t’s beautiful.” You gasped and leaned forward to gently touch it with your fingertips. Peeta gulped at how close you were and felt his face heat up again.
“Your dad gave it to her.” He told you. “He found that diamond himself when he was working.”
“I can’t believe she kept it all these years. She could’ve made a fortune with this.”
“That’s what I said. But she said it was worth more than any amount they could offer her.”
“She sounds like a romantic. I see where you get it from.” You laughed softly and nudged him a little.
“Yeah. I’m a lot like her.”He said with a timid smile as he looked into your eyes. You stared at each other for a moment and you felt an ache in your bones for him. He was still so kind and gentle despite what you’d gone through together and the impending doom that loomed over your heads. He still wore the diamond ring his mom gave him and credited his kindness to her. Your mind began to picture the future Peeta had painted for you and you felt homesick for a place you’d never been to. You wished you could jump from the train and go live the life he described, but that could never happen.
“I wish we didn’t end up here.” You said in a quiet voice. You feared that if you spoke any louder, you’d burst into tears.
“I know. Me too. I wish things were different. I wish that I was asking you to marry me because I decided it was time. And I wish…” He trailed off as he started to get emotional at the thought of the life he would never have.
“You wish what?” You asked calmly and rubbed his arm to comfort him.
“I wish I knew you were saying yes because you meant it.” He admitted. “Not because you have to.”
You were both quiet for a while after that confession. A silence that wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable, just very heavy, sat among you as you looked in opposite directions.
“I would’ve said yes.” You said after a beat.
“What?”
“If you had asked me. After high school. And told me about the cows and chickens and business. I would have told you yes.” You explained with a timid smile. Peeta stared at you for a minute to see if you were joking or not.
“No you wouldn’t have. You didn’t even know me back then.” He laughed dismissively.
“Yes I did. I knew you were kind and strong and hardworking. And now that I know you better, I know that you’re funny and resilient and thoughtful and kinda grumpy before you’ve had tea in the morning and not the worst to look at. What more could I ask for?”
“Not the worst to look at?” He cracked a smile.
“Come on. You know you’re handsome. Don’t make me say.” You rolled your eyes and he blushed once again.
“I would not use that word to describe myself. Especially not with Finnick running around.” He mumbled.
“Well I happen to think you’re very handsome. And the wife is always right. You need to know that if we’re going to get married. So shut up.” You said and playfully smacked his leg.
“Don’t tell me to shut up or else you’re not getting a ring.” Peeta played along.
“Oh, I’m getting that ring.” You insisted. “And I get to name all the cows. You can do what you want with the chicken but the cows are mine. And I’m giving them last names too. Fancy ones.”
You and Peeta both laughed at the dumb joke and you felt yourself relax. Even if your lives weren’t going to go the way you’d hoped, at least you could look forward to these moments of sweetness with him.
“Would you really have said yes?” Peeta asked in a small voice once your laughter died down.
“It depends. How would you have asked me?”
“I had a plan for that too, actually. I was going to pick you a bouquet of wild flowers. The ones that grow by the river bank. I know you like those.”
“I do like those. The orange and purple ones.”
“Yeah. Those.” He smiled. “I was gonna bring them to you and then get down on one knee. Like this.”
“That’s very old fashioned of you.” You couldn’t help but blush as Peeta got down on one knee in front of you.
“I know. But that’s all I know how to be. An old fashioned romantic. I even practiced how to get the ring out with one hand.” Peeta said as he struggled to get the ring from around his neck.
“You didn’t practice very hard.” You teased.
“Shh. Yes I did. I’m just nervous.” He laughed and finally got the ring free.
“Don’t be.” You told him. “It’s just you and me.”
“I was gonna explain how I got the ring. But I already told you that so pretend I was proposing then.” He said and waved his hand, making you laugh.
“Okay. I will. Oh, wow. My father’s ring? That he gave to your mother? Meaning we were almost siblings? How romantic.” You dramatically played along to humor him.
“Hush now. I’m trying to remember my plan. Then I was gonna tell you…” He trailed off again and a sheepish smile broke through on his face. You could see him losing his confidence but didn’t want him to stop.
“Tell me what?” You asked quietly and took his hand.
“I was going to say that you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. And that I’ve seen a million sunsets since bakers have to get up before dawn but not one of them could compare to you. I would’ve said that you enchanted me from the first day I saw you and every day since. And that to know you is to be in awe of you. I would have told you that you were the strongest person I know and if you’d let me, I’d help you bear some of the weight you have on your shoulders.”
“Keep going.” You whispered and held his hand to your chest.
“Oh, okay, um. I was gonna tell you that I know you don’t love me yet but you could learn to. And that I would make it easy for you. I would promise to be the best partner you could ask for and to love you at every turn, no matter what gets thrown our way. I’d promise to wash your hair in the sink the way your mama does and build you a desk so that you can write letters to your family. And then I’d ask you to make me the happiest man alive and please-���
“Yes.” You cut him off as a single tear slipped down your face.
“Yes?”
“Yes.” You repeated. “I will marry you.”
“You will?” He smiled in disbelief as his eyes searched yours for signs of insincerity.
“I will. I want to. I’d love to. I love…” You trailed off and he sucked in a sharp breath in anticipation of what you were about to say.
“I love you.” You said finally. “And if I’m on this train forever, at least I have you with me. That means it’s going to be okay.”
“I love you too.” Peeta smiled at those long awaited words hitting his ears. You pulled him into a long kiss despite no cameras being around. But you both knew this moment wasn’t for the cameras. It was just for the two of you. When you pulled away, Peeta fumbled around with the ring.
“Sorry. My hands are shaking.” He was embarrassed to admit as he tried to steady them long enough to untie the chord around the ring.
“It’s okay. Take your time.” You assured him and he eventually slipped the leather chord off. He looked you in the eyes for one last confirmation and you nodded enthusiastically. With that, Peeta slid the song onto your finger and then leaned down to kiss your knuckles. You laughed at the gesture before cupping his face and bringing him into a kiss. Peeta got off his knee but never broke the kiss. A sudden knock at the door made you jump apart. Peeta sat on the opposite end of the couch while you smoothed your hair and wiped your face.
“Come in.” You called out and Haymitch walked in.
“Hey. I just wanted to check in on you guys after our conversation back there.” He said.
“We’re fine. We were just talking about the engagement. Peeta said we could go on Cesar’s show and he could propose then.” You lied to Haymitch with a smile.
“All right. Works for me. I’ll let Effie know.” Haymitch gave you a thumbs up and then left the room. When he was gone, Peeta looked at you curiously to see why you lied.
“We still have to fake one for the Capital, but this I’ll remember this as our real engagement.” You explained, making him smile fondly.
“One for us, one for them.” He replied and you nodded in agreement.
“Yeah. One for us, one for them.”
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remember that ask about yuán fèn being able to communicate with sun wukong's spirit, well how bout' u mix it with ur last sad fic and make the reader a reincarnation of that guy's dead wife, not that i also see him giving yuán fèn advice on his relationship and look at them and realize they look at each other the same way he and her past self did
Yuán Fèn never liked to be jealous. He hated it, finding that emotion despicable.
But it was always natural to him, feeling the urge to hide you from every possible suitor's eyes, even now that you were completely and utterly his own. You loved him, and he loved you, that was all.
But he had instincts, and it's complicated to control them or satisfy them when the one that causes this emotion is a spirit that lives in his head.
When did Wukong start to look at you in that way? When did it happen? When he merged with him? When you both vowed each other your loves? Or it was something that had grown with time?
Despite his desire to attack something that was more in his head than outside of it, he had noticed that the looks on the sage's face weren't of desire or longing; they were pityful looks, like those of someone who is regretting something.
A few times I wanted to approach the subject to understand his strange new obsession with observing you, but it was always not the right time or just an avoided matter like many others. His eyes looked at you like some old man that observed the sky that changed towards time, and he wanted to know why.
Like every time he found him there, in the side of his eyes, looking at you. He was sitting on the wooden porch of your new shared house; the sunset colored the sky like the day that he had fought his shell in his mind. You were there, in the distance, playing some games with a few of the small monkeys, laughing and trying to catch them. On the sage face, a small smile.
"I know you're in my head, but I would appreciate it if you could stop staring at her."
He waited for a response from the former king, only to meet silence. He sighed, explaining why he was so difficult. He followed him to his spot on the porch, looking at you falling in the grass while a small monkey had climbed on your chest.
"At least you could tell me the reason?"
"The smile is the same."
Yuán Fèn looked at him confused. He expected everything—some remarks, a stupoid joke—instead he was talking like that now.
"...Same?"
"Yes, the same... I wonder... but if it's true, or the karma it's an amazing thing, or It just love to play dirty games."
"Oh, please!" he burst out, passing a hand on his head. "Spill it out! Tell me and let's get it over it!"
A frown appears on Wukong's face. That was hard to face for many reasons: restment, some shame, some desire to Just don't think about it. But mostly, it was the fact that it was all his doing and it was hard to digest.
"You remember my wife, Kid?"
"The untold story, yes, what about it?"
"And you know how cycles and reincarnation work, right?"
Yuán Fèn looked at him, trying to connect. Once it was done, his surprised expression turned into a sad one.
"But... she came from another world... she can't possibly..."
"That made it worst... She wasn't made to come here, but something still brought her back here, to you...and to me."
"Sadly," he continued, with a grin that showed all of his pointing teeth. "I won't be the one enjoying her! Good for you, guess."
The younger monkey wanted to make a comment about the comment but found himself uncapable to even do that. He felt just a sense of sadness and cruelty in these big schemes.
Once, they were lovers. Now he was just a projection of his mind, and you didn't even know. Was she still asleep? Maybe she just didn't want to see him... Was she still angry or in pain for being put second to the monk? Tò face death for his plan?
He pondered a little... and then he went to talk with you.
///
"Are you sure about it?"
"Yes."
"You're trembling..." His hand caressed your cheek, trying to bring comfort to your unspoken fear.
"I just... I don't want anything to happen to you. And... well, I'm going to talk to him... it's just really a big thing for me."
He knew it was crazy, but something. He talked to Wukong, asking him about it, and he just stayed there, watching buffled about it. He made the Great Sage buffled... That's new...
"I know, it's crazy... But...he would make him happy, I think."
"Well, if it's a way for him to stop his midnight talk with you, then okay! Let's do it! and I watched the Exorcist! So I know what to do in the worst scenario!"
He laughed about it; he really didn't want to know what your plan was in case the thing didn't work.
But he loved you, and he knew that he would let anything happen to you, not even by his own hand...possessed hand.
He took a big breath, closed his eyes, and stratified to concentrate. He needed to clean his mind from every doubt, emotion, and thought—he needed to make space.
A wave reached to him, and he felt like he was going underwater. There was no right, left, up or down, only the void. This is where Wukong belonged, and now... he needed to take his place.
When Yuán Fèn opened his eyes back, you knew that what was in front of you wasn't him. His warm eyes were so fiery that they could set you whole on fire; his kind expression now was stoic, fuelled with an ancient power that could have crushed you any time.
So that was the feeling when you were in front of Sun Wukong.
You tried to look as normal as you could while those two golden and blood-red eyes kept on studying you, but you only felt the urge to run and hide, to call back Yuán Fèn and call you out...but you couldn't, because you too knew that it was important.
"Ehm..." you cleared your voice. "G-great sage? ...Mister SWukong?...whoever lives in my fianc�� head? I'm... well, I guess you know me."
His hands grasped you by your shoulder; he held you mid-air, analyzing you with a new look. He was scared; he was shocked. He was speechless. And you were scared—so fucking scared.
"Hold on, hold on, calm down, mister Sage. I don't think it's-"
Before you could really call for Yuán Fèn, you could feel his arms around you, holding you with desperation, like you could disappear. His hands trembled, holding your dress to the point that you thought that he wanted to rip it off. His chest trembled so much... and his hot tears were falling on your shoulder.
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, my love! It's all my fault!"
His loud cry, his hiccups, his moan of pain—this pain—this was Wukong pain. After so many years...
"You were right; you were always right! I was mistaken! I just wanted the world to see that we were important and that you were important! But... but I dragged you down. I should have protected you, listened to you, and failed as a husband."
He cried louder, harder, collapsing on his knee and bringing you down with him. So it was true...he wnated justice for himself and his wife, just like the book said...
"My precious one, my only light, my one treasure! I ruined every chance; I ruined you! IO wanted to have our life back, and instead I... lost you again! Please! Plase, I'm sorry!"
You didn't know what to do or what to say—he was desperate. There was no word you could say to a pain that was there, lingering and fermenting for this long. You were afraid to touch him even. You prayed to have at least one idea, one suggestion!
Maybe someone responded... or just gave you the right words to say.
"My beloved..." His eyes widened; your pained expression was so soft in his eyes for his pain and desperation. "There's nothing to apologize...not anymore. We had given the miracle to be found by each other, and I'm grateful for that. I had always loved you, and forever I will."
Your hand gently caressed his pained expression, caressing away those fat tears. His hand stopped you from leaving his face, holding like trying to melt in you.
"Forgive me."
"I forgive you."
"I was so lost..."
"Now we're found."
And when he hugged you, you felt like a weight on your shoulder, like someone pulling him closer.
///
When he woke up, his face just hurt. He couldn't open his eyes without the need to wash them, and he felt like he needed to drink an entire lake. His head on your legs, your hand caressing his hair.
"...What happened?"
"You passed out after crying for hours."
"That explains why I feel my eyes hurt."
You hummed; keep on caressing his features, now more relaxed than ever. He took your hand, placing a kiss on your knuckles. Somehow, this scene seemed nostalgic, like you saw it before...maybe in another life.
Despite the curious thing, you fell into bliss and were at peace with yourself.
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dollhouse || jeff the killer || part two
SMUT DNI 18+
“You’re fucking insufferable!
“I’m insufferable? Which one of us fucked up the mission?”
“Obviously you!”
You audibly scoffed. The mission had gone perfectly, minus one tiny little flaw. Neither of you anticipated your getaway car being broken into and stolen. It resulted in a very awkward game of hide and seek, where you both were forced to hide behind a dumpster until someone came to get you. (Ben found the situation hilarious).
Unfortunately for both of you, EJ was the one who was ordered to pick you up. The proxies were used to your and Jeff’s bickering, the three often intervening and picking sides. EJ on the other hand was more reserved, always silently observing and thinking. The final piece to the tragic puzzle, were the three days spent tracking down said car to cover your tracks. In recent years Slender had become more insistent on being careful, making sure no traces of creeps were left behind. With EJ’s sense of smell it wasn’t hard to find the thief, just time consuming.
You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy torching the car and watching it be engulfed into flames. What you didn’t enjoy, was quite literally everything else. Including the long car ride back to the mansion, which included both you and Jeff sharing the backseat. Originally you both had fought over the passenger seat, EJ quick to manhandle the both of you into the backseat by force. Now you were forced in a confided space with your arch nemesis, one who had came in you days prior.
“I’m not the one who decided to finger paint blood on the wall. Maybe if we had saved the arts and crafts bullshit we’d still have a fucking car,” You argued. You were both still covered in dry blood, exhausted, and filthy. Every ounce of energy you had left was dedicated to spiting at each other. “EJ are you hearing this shit? The whole go to sleep thing is kinda my thing. Not my fault you weren’t clever enough to come up with a signature,” Jeff debated. EJ sighed, ignoring the both of you as he continued driving down the dimly lit road.
“Yeah I can tell your signature was made when you were fourteen. It screams edgy preteen,” You spat, crossing your arms. You looked out of the window, sick of seeing Jeff’s face. You hated how he made you feel. So angry. So vulnerable. It was like he could see right through you, both of you apart of the same parting glass. “I’m not the one who got horny mid mission,” Jeff grumbled. You shot daggers at him with your firey gaze as you turned your head. “What the fuck did you just say?” You asked. Jeff matched your energy, both of you meeting halfway. “I think you heard me loud and clear doll face,” He snickered.
“I will throw you out of this moving car Jeffrey,” You growled. Jeff came closer, your faces an inch apart. “Yeah? I’d like to see you try-” He began, both of you flying forward against the seats in front of you. EJ had slammed on the brakes, the car coming to a sudden stop in the middle of the road. “Will you two shut the fuck up? You are driving me nuts! Either fuck, get married, or kill each other. Pick one. Or you know what? Fuck it. Maybe do all three. In that order. Just shut the fuck up!” EJ yelled. Jack was never the violent or expressive type, not in your experience. You’d never heard him mumble more than four sentences before.
You picked yourself up off of the floorboard, trying to look proper as you resumed your position in your seat. Jeff did the same, watching as EJ slowly turned back around. He shook his head, slowly pressing his foot on the gas. “We did fuck, just to be clear,” Jeff clarified. You screeched in horror. “Jeff?! What the fuck?” You said, slapping his arm. Jeff rolled his eyes. “Cmon dude it’s fucking EJ. If anyone understands the primal fucking thing it’s him,” He said, pointing at the demon in question. Jack slammed on the brakes once again, your head hitting the seat in front of you this time.
“I’m getting out of the car. Get your energy out by fucking or killing each other, I don’t care which. Just let me know when you’re done,” EJ grumbled, undoing his seatbelt. You reached over the seat and grabbed his arm. You wanted nothing more than to go home and shower. And if you had to shut Jeff up to do it, you would. “We’ll figure it out and leave you out of it. Okay? Please take us home,” You say softly. Out of all of the mansions residents, Jack probably bothered you the least. Most of the time he kept himself wrapped up in his medical lab. You only really saw him when one of the proxies needing stitching up, EJ taking pride in the one thing he considered himself to be good at.
Jack sighed, not saying anything but beginning to drive the car again. “Look at you getting all soft on EJ. You gonna beg him to fuck you too?” Jeff huffed, jealousy radiating off of his skin. You turned to him, climbing over him and straddling his lap. Your hand flew to his throat, squeezing the sides like your life depended on it. “If you keep yapping we are never going to get home. Shut up,” You snarled. You could feel Jeff’s cock grow hard underneath you, your eyebrows raising. “Say please and i’ll shut up,” Jeff said, his voice husky. You couldn’t decide if it was because of his lust or lack of an airway.
You most certainly did not want to say please to Jeff of all people, but you did want to get home. More than anything. You slowly lowered your hips, grinding against Jeff’s aching boner. “Please,” You say softly, meeting his obsidian eyes. The pale killer quickly flipped you over, planting his lips on yours. You could hardly process your back hitting the backseat, the air being knocked out of your lungs. You struggled to keep up with his frantic kisses, as if he just couldn’t get enough of you. His pale hands slipped under your shirt, squeezing your mounds of needy flesh.
You let out a small groan, Jeff’s obsidian eyes temporarily torn away from you. “EJ if I catch you looking back here i’ll scoop out your eyes,” Jeff threatened. There was a brief silence in the car, before Jack turned on his blinker to turn. “I don’t have eyes Jeff,” He replied blandly. Jeff squeezed at your breast harder, the pain making you squirm. “Yeah yeah you get the point,” Jeff barked. He smashed his lips back onto yours, your fingers desperately fiddling with his jeans. “That desperate huh doll?” He snickered. You rolled your eyes, Jeff forcing a groan from your lips as his finger toyed with your nipple.
“Thats it, such pretty noises. Let it all out,” He mocked. He helped you shove off his jeans, his hand grasping his hard cock. Jeff buried his head in your neck, sucking and lapping at your sensitive skin. The two of you were whimpering messes, completely forgetting Jack was even there. “Don’t leave marks you asshole,” You whined, your hips rolling upwards. Jeff grinned devilishly as he released your neck with a pop. “Little too late. Good luck explaining that,” He argued. You ran your thumb over his slit, the pale killer above letting out a groan. You grabbed him by his hoodie, changing the position.
Jeff sat upwards in the backseat, watching as you scrubbed your blood soaked scrubs off. You straddled Jeff, melting into the kiss as his large hands grabbed your ass. You hated how good he made you feel. His wet you got from his touch and degrading words. How divine it felt that your slick was rubbing up and down his hard cock, and all you could want was more. He slapped your ass harshly, your whine quickly swallowed by his eager lips. You hovered over his cock, before slowly sinking down onto it. You let out a string of curses, a cocky smirk dancing across Jeff’s lips.
“Go on, let EJ know how good I made you feel,” Jeff purred. Your right hand flew to his neck, choking the sides as you sank down lower onto his cock. “Shut the fuck up Jeffrey,” You argued weakly. Your walls spasmed as you struggled to accommodate his size, your drenched cunt pulling him in. Jeff’s eyes rolled into the back of his head as you choked him, the pale killer in more pleasure than he’d let on. “Look at Jeff EJ, look at how much of a pathetic fucktoy he is for me,” You huffed. You sank fully into his cock, the two of you breathing heavily as you finally made eye contact. Jeff’s hand brought itself to your throat, the two of you choking the other.
“Get on with it or i’ll bend you over and give Jacky a real show,” Jeff threatened weakly. You rose your hips, before rolling them back down on his cock. You both let out a unison of groans, your body beginning to ride his shaft faster. You released his throat, grabbing handfuls of his hoodie to maintain balance. “F-fuck Jeff,” You whined. His cock was abusing your g spot perfectly, your body on cloud nine. Jeff released your throat, bringing his large hand to your cheek. “Thats it doll, keep making that stupid fucked out face of yours,” He huffed. His other hand strayed from your ass, slithering to your clit. He began to draw slow circles, your brain turning to mush.
“Fucking hell- please go faster,” You pleaded. Jeff brought his forehead to yours, the two of you moaning in unison as you shamelessly rode his cock. Your knuckles were turning white from gripping his hoodie so hard. It was then the killer began fucking up into you, your moans becoming louder and unhinged. “Jeff! Shit!” You moaned. Jeff stroked your cheek with his thumb, the loving action almost making you furrow your eyebrows in questioning. But he seemed content and you couldn’t deny your enjoyment. “I hate you Jeffrey Woods,” You hissed, hating the way your body was reacting to his.
“I hate you more dollface,” He seethed, both of his hands grabbing your waist. Jeff gripped your waist so tightly you knew you’d have bruises in the morning. “I hate the air you breathe,” You argued. Jeff’s thrust into you, knocking your next insult out of your lungs. “Yeah? I hate how good you feel wrapped around my cock,” Jeff panted. You could feel the cord in your stomach tightening, your thighs beginning to shake. You brought your fingers down to your clit, circling the sensitive bud as Jeff rammed into you. “I hate you,” You moaned, throwing your head back in pleasure.
Jeff grabbed your throat, forcing you to look at him as you both reached your highs. “I hate you too, slut,” He spat. His words sent you over the edge, your walls spasming around his cock as you came. “Jesus fuck, it’s like you’re milking me,” He groaned, cumming deep inside of your cunt. You both panted in unison, trying to come down from your highs. Exhausted, you rested your head against Jeff’s shoulder.
Jacks voice was the next thing you heard as you came down, “You two need fucking therapy.”
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۫ ꣑ৎ NOT MY FATHER || carl grimes x female walsh!reader
summary: carl and you had been inseparable before the apocalypse but that quickly changed the night your father lost it.
(intended lowercase)
warnings: carl is sort of a dick at first, mentions of attempted murder.
friends to enemies to lovers
everyone longed for the life they were forced to leave behind when the apocalypse started, some loathed it, it depended on the situation. you, however, were in the vast majority of people who missed it, who wanted back what they once had, who they once had.
it had been several years since the outbreak started and you had come to terms with the fact that this was just how things were now. your life before the apocalypse was simple, you lived with your father, shane, he was an amazing dad despite the hours he worked. when your father was at work you would either be at school or staying at lori's, lori had agreed to watch over you along with her son, carl. carl was your best friend, you did everything together; read comics, play video games, watch tv — whatever kept the two of you entertained.
at least, that's how it had been.
ever since shane had tried to kill rick in a sick attempt to regain lori's heart carl had shown a strong distaste for you. it made you angry. you wondered how the boy you'd grown up with could hate you over your father's actions, you weren't the one who executed them so why?
when it had happened you assumed carl's coldness would eventually wear off, but it never did, it had been years and he still expressed the same disdain for you. you could tell he wished you were someone else, wished you weren't the spawn of such evil, but it just wasn't possible.
rick never treated you any differently, he knew it wasn't your fault, so why didn't carl?
you learned to stop questioning him so much or trying to make amends, it didn't make any difference so you quit wasting your time. that seemed to anger him more, you didn't understand why considering it was his request to you.
you thought being in alexandria would help lessen the tension between you two or at least make it more avoidable, but it was to no avail, he seemed to seek you out just to spare you a scoff or scowl. you hated it, if he wanted to scorn your being then so be it, but couldn't he refrain from making it so obvious?
eventually, rick had tore him a new one after he had crossed a line and he began to leave you alone.
that was until it was deemed smart to send the two of you on a run together. alone.
it had started off fine, silent but fine. normally, silence in a situation like yours would be unbearable, but the possibility of what could be said if either of you spoke was much more unpleasant, and you were certain you were right when he did speak.
you were crouched down, shoveling supplies into a duffle bag while he was standing guard in case any walkers tried to sneak up on you two when he decided to speak, “do you even care about what he did?”
you felt yourself flinch in shock, not expecting him to speak, your lips pressing into a thin line when you processed his question.
“of course I do.”
“then why don't you act like it?”
you couldn't resist the scoff that urged to escape your lips at the accusation, your fingers tightening around the bag they held. “how am I supposed to act? I have apologized a hundred times, cried, tried to make amends— it's never gonna be enough, is it?”
“he tried to kill my father—”
“yeah, carl, he did. shane did. shane tried to kill your father, not me, when are you gonna get that?” you spat, zipping the duffel bag and throwing it over your shoulder. you could hear his hesitation to speak again and used it to your advantage, allowing yourself to quickly exit the store and make it back to the car before he did.
sometimes you couldn't believe the audacity the boy had, did you care? of course you cared, was he out of his mind?
the shuffling of feet dragged you out of your thoughts, you could see carl making his way in the direction of the car and decided it would be a good time to throw the supplies in the back — there wasn't much in the store to loot but it was better than some of your other runs. you closed the door of the car and made your way around to the passenger side, climbing in.
the ride back was just as silent as the ride there, minus the tapping of carl's fingers on the wheel. you could tell he was thinking about something, you were sure that it was related to the conversation you two had just moments ago. you hoped that maybe he finally realized you weren't to blame for the actions of your father, but then again, the chance of that was very slim; you had been trying to convince him for years, one petty argument wasn't gonna change anything.
you didn't waste any time returning to your house the second you arrived back, too overwhelmed with fury to care about much else. you trudged up your stairs and threw yourself on your bed, burying your face in the mattress, allowing yourself to find refuge in the soft material. tears found their way from your eyes into the cloth, absorbing it along with all your sorrows — you weren't one for self pity but you desperately wanted answers, wanted forgiveness for crimes you hadn't committed, and most importantly you wanted your best friend back. was there really nothing that could be done to mend what your father had broken? you didn't want to blame him but you did, you resented him for what he did and what he caused. everyday for the past 3 years you sat and pondered in a puddle of ‘what if’s — what if your dad hadn't lost it? what if he was successful? what if carl never blamed you? still, nothing changed the present, you were still left without carl by your side.
you hear a sigh in your doorway, jolting up to see maggie standing there with crossed arms,
“I told them it wasn't a good idea to send you guys together.”
you couldn't help but laugh as she approached you, taking a seat next to you.
“you're probably the only smart one out of them.”
“what happened?”
maggie and you were never really close, because, frankly, you weren't close with anyone anymore, but she seemed to care and notice things and you appreciated that; you trusted her. “he thinks it's my fault, he doesn't say it but I can tell. he thinks I don't care— it's like he's convinced I'm heartless.”
“with the way you sit in here crying about it, I doubt you're heartless, he just needs someone to be angry at.”
you nodding, a soft sight leaving your lips, “yeah, I just wish it wasn't me.”
a slight frown was all she gave in response, resting her hand on your shoulder for a moment in a brief attempt of comfort before getting up to exit your room. you listened to her footsteps become distant as she descended down the stairs, throwing yourself back against the mattress once she was no longer within earshot.
you guessed she was right, maybe he did just need someone to be mad at and you just happened to be the perfect candidate, how unlucky.
you had no desire to leave your room after the events of today and opted for a nap to cure your exhaustion and hopefully your desolation.
you didn't bother changing into night clothes and instead focused on untying your combat boots, you tossed them to the side and crawled under the comforter, relishing in the comforting feeling. it didn't take long for you to become a victim to sleep, quickly drifting off and being met with a blank mind.
sleep was the ultimate painkiller, that was something you stood by, but with the apocalypse it was just about as hard to come by as ibuprofen. when you did get the privilege of sleeping you took it as a delicacy, you used it to let your mind stray away from carl and instead become blank or filled with dreams. nightmares were rare for you, but the select few times you did have them were nothing major so you never worried about it like others did, which you suppose made you lucky.
you were awakened by the sound of knocking on your window.
you weren't sure what time it was but you were certain it was late. your hand immediately found its way to the knife you had on your nightstand, you kept a tight grip on it as you approached your window as quietly as you could. you pulled the curtains aside to get a view of who caused the noise, you felt your body go rigid at the sight, the knife in your hand falling to the floor and clattering on the hardwood.
carl grimes. carl grimes sat crouched in front of your window.
once you came down from your shock enough to move, you opened the window, moving aside so he could climb in. he landed on your floor with a soft thud, immediately standing to his full height and stretching, his gaze lingering on you as he did so.
“why are you here?” the words came out soft and unthreatening unlike you had intended, your voice wavering slightly. he moved away from you take a seat on your bed, waiting for you to take the spot next to him,
“I wanna talk.”
you got the hint and sat down next to him, staring at your lap, avoiding making eye contact with him. “okay.”
“you were right— today when we were out, you were right. you didn't do anything, shane did. I was just angry, I wanted to be mad at shane, to take it out on him, but he's gone so I took it out on you, his daughter. when it happened it all felt the same and I never let it go, I never even allowed myself to think about it. I saw you and saw shane and that's all it took I guess.”
“I'm not my father, carl.” your broken voice confirmed, the tears from earlier resurfacing and streaming down your cheeks. you've waited years for this conversation and when you finally get the opportunity to have it every last emotion managed to find its way to the surface.
“I know, I see that now. I'm sorry.”
“why wouldn't you just talk to me? I could've told you that a while ago, I shouldn't have had to wait 3 years for you to finally come to your senses and realize that my father is the one who went crazy, not me. I shouldn't have had to mourn a friendship that could've been so much more if you would've just noticed that.” your tear filled eyes rose to look at him, your stare asking him every question you've asked yourself over the years, showing him all the confusion, the anger, the sadness.
“I couldn't. I just couldn't.”
“that's not enough, carl! I want answers, I deserve answers!”
“because I was in love with you! I was in love with you and I couldn't be in love with you then!”
you froze, your eyes widening in shock, “…what?”
“I was in love with you and I knew you were in love with me too, I couldn't handle it. I was mad at you for something you didn't even do and I couldn't bear being around you knowing all I could see was him and what he did while I still loved you.”
you sobbed. you couldn't do more than that. he was right, you had been in love with him and you still were, he knew why you were so upset — he knew that your longing was for more than friendship. what had happened wasn't fair, not just to you, but to him too; you finally understood why he acted the way he did and now you couldn't bring yourself to be angry with him, all you could feel was despair. you felt him wrap his arm around you, pulling you closer to him and you couldn't help but lean into him while continuing to cry.
“I'm sorry. I should've told you sooner.”
a/n: I made this a long time ago and scrapped it, but the story I'm working on right now is not coming together as I had hoped and I feel bad about the lack of uploads so I hope you enjoy this and I'm sorry I haven't been posting!!
masterlist
#carl grimes#carl grimes fanfiction#carl grimes smut#carl grimes x reader#carl grimes x fem!reader#carl grimes x y/n#carl grimes x you#chandler riggs#grimes family#the walking dead angst#the walking dead fanart#the walking dead x reader#the walking dead#twd carl#twd x reader#twd fanfiction#twd daryl#twd rick#rick grimes#daryl dixon#carl grimes imagine#carl grimes fluff#enemies to lovers#friends to enemies#friends to lovers
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Circuits and Wires pt 2
Wheeljack x Reader-protector
• Pride and dignity be darned, hitting up the next bot you see to give you a lift back to Wheeljack’s lab is starting to sound appealing. The Autobot base just isn’t built with humans in mind and getting from place to place, you’re definitely getting your steps in whether you want to or not. “Hey, look. Hazard Pay’s still in one piece,” someone calls behind you. “Thought you’d have been vaporized by now.”
• No. You freeze, because you know that sneering voice. The universe can’t possibly hate you quite that much. But as you turn, you swallow a groan, because yes, it can. Sunstreaker. “Sorry to disappoint you.” Moving closer to the wall, you pointedly start walking away hoping that he’ll take the hint. Especially since the more tolerable of the Lambo twins is missing. Because this one? You’re pretty sure he has a thing about humans. Though maybe he just hates you in particular.
• And he isn’t taking the hint as he follows you, heavy peds just close enough the fine hair at your nape prickles. Sure, he’s never hurt you- he’s an Autobot after all, but scaring you for his own amusement? Your fight or flight instincts are clamoring as you walk a bit faster, aware that he’s deliberately taking slow steps to stay just behind you. Messing with you with the threat of getting stepped on. “Do you need something?” You demand, hating the faint tremor in your voice.
• “You know, I didn’t ask to come to this backward mud ball,” he says. “But I trust Optimus. You humans though? Running around and getting into everything like vermin?”
• He won’t hurt you. You know he won’t, but as his ped lands two feet from your side, the barely leashed animal part of your brain takes over. And you’re running headlong. The sound of heavy peds chasing only drives your panic higher. The other one, Sideswipe, has always been about to keep Sunstreaker in check, stopping him when he starts getting out of control with his little games. There’s no one to stop him now.
• Lost in his work, it’s the sound of running peds that brings Wheeljack’s head up. Not too unusual a thing, but he still pushes up from his desk to check. And sees the human, his human, running from Sunstreaker, the bigger bot reaching for your small form. The frightened, pained noise you make as those servos close around you, sparks through him. He’s moving before he even thinks, one hand closing on Sunstreaker’s wrist, his other shoving the mech back against the wall, a snarl escaping him.
• You can’t breathe and it takes your frazzled brain a moment to understand this Autobot with the glowing red vocal indicators pinning Sunstreaker is in fact Wheeljack. Because he’s always so gentle, awkward, and self-depreciating. This Wheeljack is frightening as a low, growl rumbles from him. “Give them to me,” he demands, releasing Sunstreaker’s wrist so the other mech can hand you over. To your surprise, he does so without a protest, seeming as shocked as you are.
• His grip on Sunstreaker only eases when you’re safely in his hand. Even then, that anger is still there because he can feel the rapid beat of your heart and the way you’re trembling. Part of him wants to lash out, but you’re too fragile to risk and as you grip onto his servos, he turns and heads for his lab. “Thanks,” you say and the relief in your voice just strokes that anger hotter. Because you should be safe here of all places.
• Those vocal indicators are still red, flickering faintly as he just stands in the middle of his lab with you cradled against his chassis. You’ve never seen them red before, and the color and his stillness is making you edgy. He’s angry, you realize wilting in his grip. Maybe he’d been doing something really important and had to stop to rescue you. He’s always rescuing you even when you don’t actually need it. Worrying over you like you’re his responsibility. “Did he hurt you?”
• You shake your head, not trusting your voice. Sunstreaker wouldn’t have actually hurt you, just messed with you until he got bored. He probably wouldn’t even have chased you if you hadn’t run, but that’s you. Always scared. Needing saving. When Wheeljack gently tips your chin up with a servo so he can see your face, that careful touch almost makes you cry. He freezes when you wrap your arms around that servo because it’s all you can reach and just hug it to you. You need him to anchor you right now. To know how much you appreciate him.
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𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.
All sentences on this memes are taken from different sources of literature, television and media about enemies to lovers trope and enemies and lovers trope with some angst thrown into the mix. Change pronouns, names and locations as you see fit.
Does it hurt? Loving someone who can’t love you back?
Break his crown, break his throne, rip his monarchy apart.
What are we doing?
You are capable of making my blood boil like no one else, and yet I feel a magnetic pull I cannot explain.
It’s not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand
Like whether you should kiss me or punch me.
Most of all, I hate you because I think of you. Often. It’s disgusting, and I can’t stop.
You make me feel things that shouldn’t exist.
Whatever this is, we should stop. I have been. . .compromised.
There’s a fine line between love and hate, and maybe we crossed it a long time ago.
I never thought I could detest someone so much, until the day I realized I was falling in love with you.
We may fight like enemies, but deep down, we both know that our hearts beat for each other.
You infuriate me, challenge me, drive me crazy, but damn it, at the end of the day, I can’t resist you.
It’s that tension that makes this so irresistible.
You’re like an addiction I can’t break free from, even if I wanted to.
You’re the thorn in my side, the fire in my veins, and I can’t help but crave your presence in my life.
Loving you feels like a dangerous game.
You infuriate me, yet you’re the only one who truly understands me.
You scare me to my core.
There’s no denying the fire that burns between us.
If any two men desire the same thing, which nevertheless they cannot both enjoy, they become enemies.
I thought we had agreed not to lie to each other.
Tell me you don’t feel this between us. Look at me and don’t look away while saying it.
You claim me your enemy and yet, let me crawl into your bed every night.
You are the bane of my existence, and the object of all my desires.
Do you even know all the ways a lady can be seduced? The things I could teach you.
I did not asked for this. To be plagued by these feelings.
I tried to deny it for so long, but I don’t want to anymore.
Follow me around. Look at me as if you find me fascinating. Touch me, and say nice things to me. And then, you pull away as if you did nothing at all.
There’s no need for these games.
Well, you know that old saying, “Keep your friends close and make out with your enemies.
You read me wrong. I wasn't trying to lead you on.
Is that all I am to you? A resource to be used in your scheme?
Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything more than you wanting me to fuck you, okay? You make that really clear all the time. But I just- I can't do it tonight, okay?
You'll lay a man out for implying I'm a whore, but you keep calling me one to my face.
So, the only man that can have you is one who's already tried to kill you. That's logic.
It's like a little death. Several, in fact.
Oh Max, if you really hated Kyle you couldn't have slept with him.
So go on... kiss me... kill me... Do something.
I've often wondered what this moment would be like. Me... you tied up.
Once this is over, we should really have angry sex.
Hate and love are not so very different things. Both are focused upon another. Both are intense. Both are passionate.
It just means you'd rather be with someone you hate... than be with me.
She's difficult and irritating, and she tries to hit me all the time.
We have a deal, what are you so afraid of?
Only I can hurt you this way. Only I can kiss you like this.
You dragged me down and now I can’t quit you.
This is the last time we do this.
Last night was also the last time. And yet, you keep coming back.
Better my mouth than my knife, right?
#roleplay memes#sentence meme#( cali meme. )#rp memes#rp prompt#rp musings#roleplay prompt#enemies to lovers
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Constantine's character introduction:
Description: Constantine is the first child of Lilith and Lucifer, 6 years older than Charlie and the crown prince of Hell
-Constantine is rational as a person, he doesn't approach anything with emotions, he sees everything as a plus or minus or as moves on a chessboard.
-Constantine would probably tell you the perfect way out of your problems if you went crying to him for advice, but he wouldn't try to console you emotionally.
-Constantine has the philosophy that everything is fair game for victory, if victory is the result it doesn't matter how much of a monster he is on the road, for example if it means protecting Charlie he will gladly do things to make Charlie hate him and not regret it, after all his sister will be safe even if she hates him.
-He's calm and patient and proud and egoistic, and his pride and ego comes from the intelligence and power that he has in general.
-Constantine is one of hell's foremost intellectually and is seen as having great potential even by his family. Even as a child he was able to grasp very difficult spells with ease and never had a problem memorizing spells due to his photographic memory.
-But this intelligence has a side effect Constantine can't feel emotions very well, he can't comprehend them very well, he can't empathize with someone, sometimes he even thought that Charlie inherited the angelic and humanoid parts of his parents (it could be said that Charlie has enough empathy for both of them).
-And since he knew what hell was like, he knew that if he was powerless he would not be able to protect his sister or himself in the future, so for a period after his 20s he devoted himself only to his education and self-development.
-As Constantine became more interested in politics, he taught himself how to be a snake with snakes, which again began to corrupt his own personality.
-It is really hard to get him angry, even when he is angry he keeps his poker face and never shows his emotions.
-He doesn't tolerate disrespect in any form and doesn't hesitate to punish anyone (except his family members and the people at the hotel (he knows that if he hurts Charlie's friends, it won't end well).
-As genius and calm as Constantine is, there's a mad genius underneath, sometimes spending weeks in his workshop and library researching and Charlie has to drag him out of there, or he can be brilliant at the hardest things and terrible at the simplest.
-Constantine is a really great wizard, often inventing his own spells and combining what he has (he may have blown up parts of the palace a couple of times, but on the bright side he created a repair spell).
----
Constantine is heterosexual, but he has never been in love, nor has he ever had a lover (he has the same capacity to understand love as a tree. He doesn't have) Lust has never been something that attracts him. For Constantine, it doesn't matter how attractive someone is, if that person can surprise him with her intelligence and see her as his equal, he will consider having a relationship with her, but lust is just salt on the dish.
in fact when Asmodeus asked him if he ever planned to make a lover he said "Lust is not something that interests me, my dear uncle, if one day I meet a woman who can surprise me with her intelligence and who I can consider my equal, I may love her. end of story''
-----
After the disappearance of lilith, Lucifer didn't want to be so involved in royal affairs anymore, he needed a break, so Constantine started to take care of most of the royal affairs and this increased his authority a lot over the years and now all the nobles look at the prince as a king instead of a prince.
Speaking style:
Constantine's voice is cold, he speaks like an British aristocrat from the 1800s, he chooses his words very well, he is a sweet-tongued snake, and he likes to analyze the other party and reveal their weaknesses in his speech.
Fun facts:
Since his eating habits have been transferred to his own palace, he usually eats cereal, fried chicken and dessert-like things, except for royal gatherings (I mean, he's half Angel, so he knows his health won't be affected by his diet, so he doesn't care)
Constantine has owl features, walks very quietly and can easily turn his head in the opposite direction. He has feathers on some parts of his body. His hands are like bird claws and he has great vision.
Since he and Charlie are half Angel, 4 hours of sleep is equivalent to 8 hours of sleep for them, but despite this, Constantine sometimes stays awake for days and tries to fulfill his need for sleep by sleeping for 2 days in a row (this does not exist at the moment, Charlie disturbed him and helped him to establish his sleep pattern)
Relationships:
Lucifer: Constantine had a close relationship with his father as a child, he saw him as a role model and loved spending time with him, constantly following him around the palace like a duckling. And he did his best to make his father proud, asking him to teach him new spells and enjoying their time together. But as the years went by, they started to have differences of opinion and so on. Now, especially after what happened between Lucifer and Charlie, they had a fight and never spoke again. Lucifer is upset about this, but Constantine doesn't feel much because he thinks it's the right thing to do, even though he loves his father to the core.
Later in the series, when Lucifer overcomes his pride and apologizes to Charlie, Constantine forgives him and the ice between them slowly begins to melt.
Lilith: Constantine was always closer to his mother and developed many of his personality traits after her example, and Lilith was very interested in her son's upbringing, taking care to raise him in a strict manner, teaching him everything she knew and showing him what kind of king he should be in the future.
Charlie: Constantine loves his little sister so much that he would burn every ring of hell seven times for her. And although he doesn't have much empathy etc., when Charlie is sad he is always there to support her as much as he can, he always treats his sister with respect.
When they were little the two of them were mischievous enough to do things to destroy the palace, so Constantine's most fun memories are the times she spends with her sister and as much as they love each other, like all siblings they sometimes fight or bicker, when they were little it was normal sibling bickering, when they grew up it was usually about Constantine's inability to take care of himself properly, but now, even though they don't see each other much, they often call each other and they have a really healthy relationship and even though their opinions may be divided at times, they both respect and value each other.
Serenity: Constantine describes Serenity as an interesting case. As an overlord, Serenity was the only one Constantine noticed because she was someone who tried to gain power through sweet talk and knowledge, not brutality, a woman who built her empire through mind games, and she did something surprising for a sinner: she spread her power not only to the guru ring but also to other rings, which is why Constantine found her intriguing.
When they first met at the hotel, they naturally got along well, but as time went on and they were both in the same areas because of Charlie, Constantine got to know Serenity better and realized that he liked spending time with this sinner, even though even he was surprised by it. Serenity was smart and cunning, Constantine rarely found someone who could keep up with him in conversation, and he and Serenity shared many hobbies, so over time their enmity turned into friendship and even months after they met Constantine invited Serenity to his palace. He really liked listening to Serenity's comments on his books or projects and they both really enjoyed those days but of course there is no real trust between them, one is a prince of hell and the other is an overlord but they still like each other's presence.
Hotel residents: Constantine is neutral towards them.
Alastor: Constantine and Alastor have a relationship of respect, as long as Alastor respects Constantine, Constantine is neutral around him, he doesn't get into dogfights with Alastor like Lucifer did. And Alastor knows Constantine's authority, so he doesn't do anything out of line, but Constantine doesn't like Alastor, he knows he's not in the hotel for fun, and he finds it annoying that he's trying to get close to Charlie, but he doesn't see him as a threat, he just sees him as a fly that makes a noise, and he's waiting for him to do something out of line. But of course they have a lot in common in terms of personality and hobbies, if you don't include their positions etc, they could get along well in that way.
The relationship with sins:
Bee: Constantine loves his Aunt Bee very much, even when he was little he remembers like it was yesterday when he used to stay with Charlie and his Aunt Bee always did her best to keep them both happy and she was always kind to them and when they are with her he likes to forget all the royal stuff and have fun. Now Bee is one of the few people who can run up and hug Constantine at royal meetings.
Satan: Constantine grew up closest to Satan, who saw the potential for destruction in Constantine from the time he was young and wanted to guide him, and succeeded. Constantine's perception of power often comes from Satan.
Belphegor: Constantine likes to spend time with her. Belphegor is a women who studies medicine and science, so Constantine really likes to discuss these things with her.
Mammon: he doesn't like him, he thinks he's a clown.
Asmodeus: Constantine is not very close to Asmodeus, but he likes his uncle.
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Hello! Hope you’re having a good day/night. Could I please request Nagito x gn reader that was helping take care of him during the whole despair disease outbreak, and whenever Nagito said ‘I hate you’ the reader would just respond with something along the lines of “Love you too, Komaeda.” Could be headcanons, oneshot, or whatever. Whichever you’d prefer.
Sorry if this sounds weird, I don’t usually make requests lol. Thanks in advance!!
taking care of despair diseased nagito
type: in killing game, hc format, established relationship
a/n: anon it's so crazy i was literally just playing chapter 3 of dra2 and was at the part when they get the disease
♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧
you noticed right away that something was wrong with nagito
every word that came out of his mouth was a lie
it was almost like he couldn't speak the truth at all
when hajime felt his forehead and noticed that nagito was burning up, you knew that was the reason behind his behavior
monokuma popped up soon after, confirming that nagito was indeed afflicted by the lying disease
still, you didn't understand why some disease would cause nagito to say things like nothing is real, everyone is fake, and everyone is out to get him
but it was impossible to reason with him, especially because not long after he passed out, crumpling to the floor
you lunged forward, grabbing onto him to soften his fall, and pulled him onto your lap
"mikan! we need to get him to the hospital!" you yelled, while everyone else stood by in shock
the nurse helped you carry nagito all the way to the hospital on the third island, where you laid him in a bed
"u- um, we need to get him out of his clothes and into a gown," mikan said
"i got it, go help ibuki and akane," you replied, so she left it to you
nagito regained consciousness while you were slipping his shirt over his head
"ah! what are you doing to me? ah, are you planning to abduct me and take me to your home planet?"
you would have laughed at the silliness of the question if he wasn't in such dire condition. instead, you replied patiently
"i'm not an alien, nagito" you reached for his pants to slide them down his legs, but he swats your hand away
"i don't... want..." he was struggling to finish his sentence without panting from the fever
"i know, i'm sorry. but i need to get you into a gown. would you rather have mikan do it?"
"yes, i would much prefer mikan do it," he rambled, staring at the wall
your heart fluttered a little bit, knowing he meant the opposite of what he said. but this wasn't the time to be flustered
after wrestling with your boyfriend a little bit, you finally got his pants off, and draped the gown around his shoulders
once you tied it, you let him lay back down on the bed, and he closed his eyes
at this point there wasn't anything else you can do, with no medic knowledge, so you decided to just comfort him through it
you reached out to pat his head, smoothing down his hair
he reacted weakly, shaking his head as if to shoo away your hand
"get your filthy hand off me," he snarled
by now you were starting to translate his words in your head
"go away (please stay)"
"stop touching me (don't stop)"
with one hand running through his hair, your other laced your fingers in his, watching as he shifted between a state of being awake and being unconscious
"i... hate you" he spat, beads of sweat collecting at his temple
"i love you too, nagito" you smiled, gently squeezing his hand
"i seriously... hate you... go away."
"i'm here, you're okay. i won't leave you."
"i don't want you here! go away!"
his eyes were watering, and you didn't know if he was crying because he was in pain or angry, so you reached out and wiped the tears away
"i want to be here, i won't leave you, i promise."
you could have sworn you felt him squeeze your hand back once before he slipped back into sleep
♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧
#mod kyoko#danganronpa#danganronpa headcanons#danganronpa imagines#danganronpa x reader#goodbye despair#nagito komaeda#nagito x reader
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