#not to say he/she turns down

[inspectorspacetimerevisited]

In a serious case of characterisation marches on,

the Inspector turned from consuming tea during the Classic Series to drinking coffee in the Revived Series.

(Not to say that he/she turns down a cup of tea, but his/her preference is clearly for the Middle Eastern beverage.)

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[lorebird]

Sacrifices and parallels

[shesnake]

"Wait."

The Acolyte (2024) by Leslye Headland

[teyrnacousland]

I've seen the headcanon that Lucanis' mother, Caterina's perfect heir, was actually similar to Illario in some ways. That she was calculating, ruthless, ambitious, obedient... all the things Caterina overlooks in Illario because Caterina sees her favourite daughter's deep brown eyes and quiet, controlled demeanor and careful planning in Lucanis.

But I am also attached to the idea that the opposite is true too. That Illario's mother shared similarities with Lucanis; that she was empathetic and stubborn, with a slight rebellious streak. But she was always outgoing and charming, was more impulsive with her emotions, and was always sharper with her tongue than with a sword, so Caterina only sees her in Illario.

I just love the idea that Caterina can't look beyond the surface and see who her grandsons really are because on some level she can't see past the ghosts reflected in their eyes. She can't see that the quiet brown eyed boy is is more of the gentle hearted rebel, and the one with blue eyes and a shining, fake smile is the ruthless leader who would do anything she asked.

[mylittlecrow]

i will never shut up about jon promising to protect sansa in 6x09 and then the parallel of lyanna begging ned to promise to protect jon IN THE NEXT EPISODE. something something “if the day should ever come when your lord father was forced to chose between honor on the one hand and those he loves on the other what would he do?” and we KNOW ned picked love. ned loved his sister so much he lied to his king and bff to protect jon. ned loved his daughter so much he sacrificed his honor and duty to the realm and lied to protect sansa.

the writers intentionally put sansa at the center of jon and dany’s conflict. sansa’s not in king’s landing during the battle in 8x05 or 8x06 but she still haunts the narrative, her name is brought up by FOUR different characters. jon was ready to die if dany saw him as a threat to the throne. “i'm tired of fighting it’s all i've done since i left home.” and the only way to get through to him and to get him to fight again and to kill dany is to mention sansa and how she’ll never be safe with dany around. “if we don’t take back the north we’ll never be safe i want you to help me but i'll do it myself if i have to.”

and sansa is so used to being alone. she spent months waiting for robb to rescue her from king's landing, and it never happened. robb chose the north, his duty, over her. and she's beaten for the north's independence and then sold to two different families who stole the north from her. and then she finally finds help in theon and brienne and podrick but she doesn't feel completely safe again until she's in jon's arms. but even then she's still ready for more disappointment, to be separated from her family again because “life is not a song” and “there are no heroes.” but jon isn’t robb. “jon isn’t tormund. jon isn’t davos, or the red woman, or stannis for that matter. jon is jon.”

“where will you go? where will we go. i won’t ever let him touch you again. we need to trust each other. until i return the north is yours. touch my sister and i’ll kill you myself. what you did for her is the only reason i’m not killing you. i’m her family too. what about everyone else? what about the other people who think they know what’s good? i’ll protect you, i promise. no one can protect me, no one can protect anyone.” but jon proves her wrong, he can protect her. he will keep her safe. because when his day comes and he has to chose between love and duty, he chooses her. there still are heroes in her story and their story isn't over yet.

[jomtones-bussy]

People on tiktok infantilizing curly from mouthwashing and saying that him becoming crippled was his punishment. Killing u. With my teeth.

[tsuchinokoroyale]

Happy new years… let’s stay hydrated together ✨

[zarnzarn]

(check the tags for more and also the tag for other fics in the story!)

athena, scowling as she gets bullied into marrying the people she pined over for the last 1000 years, suddenly realising something: wait a minute

odysseus: what?

athena, frozen: wait a damn minute you know what this gives me rights to do

penelope, also realising: oh fuck yes

odysseus: I don't like the sound of whatever's happening here what are you two fucking talking about?

athena, grabbing the marriage wine and tossing it back, then kissing her new wife and husband and handing penelope a spear as she picks up a mace: we'll be back shortly, you can start celebrations without us.

penelope: do u have anything that can start a fire

athena, pulling out an old contract and scanning it before throwing it over her shoulder: yes. are you scared of heights or can we fly.

penelope: fucking bring it I've waited years for this moment

zeus: where are they going

hermes, picking up the contract: they're going to... Ogygia? Oh fucking shit they're going to fucking kill Calypso- hey, hello, WAIT-

[baeshijima]

u know what would be a cool genshin fic idea? isekai/transmigrated reader, but instead of appearing within the general timeline, you come into the genshin world 500 years prior to the start of the storyline in khaenri'ah.

honestly it could be either a little before the cataclysm, giving enough time to delve into some relationship building + explore some world building with characters like dainsleif, traveller's sibling (which would probably be lumine bc i actually do like her as abyss sibling & aether as traveller), and npcs like halfdan (still crying over him to this day ;w;) and possibly the khaenri'ahn royal guards (assuming you either join them or have a good enough relationship with them), OR it could be you appear during the crisis, completely and utterly lost as to why you were brought amidst the chaos and bloodshed as you watch everything you barely knew about this nation crumble before your very eyes.

either route will still result in reader's existential crises and constant "why am i here? just to suffer?" monologues because really, who would be fine after going through that after coming from /our/ world? and not to mention you've had to endure the next 500 years wandering with no real set path because you don't know this world— this era of teyvat or of genshin. you're merely stuck, unable to die, and forced to live a life of uncertainty with no clear direction for you to go to.

despite it all, you've at least been able to see dain during this course. while your meetings pass far too quickly for your lonesome, and his solemn demeanour is something you're yet to be accustomed to after having been with him before the fall of khaenri'ah (assuming it's the route where you appear before the cataclysm), you're glad to see a familiar face every now and then. after the messy departure with the lumine who left for the abyss order, you've come to appreciate his quiet presence more and more each time.

and then you decide it might be time to settle. you soon realise it's difficult to do so when your lifespan has become far more than that of a human's — of a mortal's — and so you find yourself becoming used to staying in one place for a few years before setting off for the next. rinse and repeat. over and over. it's come to a point where you've witnessed the nations undergo various changes each time you visit. you know change is inevitable, and yet your heart stings each time you witness it; a testament to how the world is ever-changing, yet you're stuck in place as a bystander.

one thing you're grateful for, however, are the bonds you've established amid your back-and-forth over the centuries. from archons like zhongli and venti to long-life beings such as neuvillette and the adepti to regular mortals who have showed you kindness as if one of their own... you've grown to cherish those memories, often reminiscing them when the nights get too long and surroundings too quiet. it was difficult at first, and still is, but you've become used to the inevitable change and the passing of those you once knew.

and after 500 years, you find yourself face-to-face with one you haven't seen since before you appeared in this world; the protagonist of this world, and the one you eventually join in hopes of finally finding a means to an end, aether.

little side notes/extras:

from /our/ world, you would probably know the storyline from up to around current (5.0) or maybe a little after the fontaine aq conclusion. it gives a lot to work with, but you definitely won't remember a lot of the lore after so long other than some main events, especially since most of your knowledge is pretty irrelevant for the next 500 years,,,

i think it would be cool if you had an inteyvat on your person as a little homage of khaenri'ah, which may or may not invoke some opinions from certain characters (*cough* aether immediately being reminded of lumine and having an existential crisis *cough*)

post-cataclysm you would go through a, uhm, long phase of helplessness, wondering why you were even brought to this world so far back if you couldn't even make any contributions. it does eventually morph into a resolution to do what you can to help those you come across if it's within your capabilities, but the nightmares and helplessness come back every now and then as a reminder for what you can't do :D yippee :D

honestly i'm on the fence whether you would have a vision or some other type of abilities (think on the similar lines of aether/lumine's and dain's), but i think having some type of purification mechanic would be a must in your arsenal !! would definitely lead to some moments between you and characters like dain or zhongli who suffer from the erosion as you give them a slight reprieve from what rages within and corrodes them

a little self indulgent, but i'd like to think your first /proper/ meeting with zhongli happens during a lantern rite festival, wherein you're admiring the lanterns in the sky after making a wish of your own and he comes up from behind with "they're beautiful, wouldn't you say so?" and !!

also as for love interests, as much as i would love for human/mortal characters, a part of me feels like this story would be better suited for the immortal/long-life characters as love interests?? idk i feel like considering that 500 years is, well, a long time, the bonds you would have with them compared to characters like, say, alhaitham or diluc would be way too different ?? though i would definitely still add them as love interest bc i am a sucker for so many of the human characters ;w; it would also add to the angst and hurt/comfort ahahha...

anyway thank you for reading this massive brain dump of a fic bc i absolutely would put this as a long term project, and if u made it this far then i would like to say that dain solos—

[pergaminaa]

Currently giggling and kicking my feet over the fact that Dorian, a mere 22 year old man, keeps calling Manon who is over 100 years old ‘witchling’. Gotta give it to him for calling her baby witch while he’s literally a mere infant in comparison

And Manon doesn’t reject it my girl is embracing the nickname because she loves Dorian THAT MUCH

[conversationaltreestump]

I think my stupidest headcanon for Dead Boy Detectives is that Charles (and by extension Edwin) does not think cheerleaders are real, and that they were made up for American movies.

[ceoazula]

Obsessed with Vi being like, due to Jinx's actions I think she has to die. But I can't kill my little sister. Therefore Jinx is no longer my sister and really my sister died years ago. That's not how that works! But also how else is she supposed to cope i guess.

[invinciblerodent]

yknow i've seen a few posts talking about people hoping their Rooks can bond with Lucanis over them raiding his chamber-pantry for a midnight snack, but never in a platonic way yet

so i'll be the first. i very much want to experience the profound understanding (and, yeah, very mild judgement) that exists between a woman who just got done experiencing that legendary Grey Warden stamina for the first time and is having difficulty walking, and the man who guards the cheeses.

[sukibenders]

Intersectionality is something that, sadly, is often pushed to the side in Arcane discussions, specifically from a certain side of that fandom. They will go on and on about Viktor, as they usually do, talking about how he suffers from classicism and ableism within the show and fandom respectively (as they should as these are issues, but there is a catch when it comes to these fans as well), but when others in the fandom, especially Mel or even Sky fans, point out the racism and misogyny (misogynoir) that is often rampant in this fandom, particularly from said fans mentioned prior, all of a sudden its not possible or being overdramatized. Like they suddenly can't understand how some of their rhetoric includes or invites the same thing black fans have been calling out since the beginning, because how can you discuss the ableism and such that Viktor faces, but laugh or joke around with people who call Mel slurs or just denounce her to a trope? I thought you were for calling out forms of hate within fandom, or does your "activism" only stretch so far? And back to a previous statement, about the catch regarding those particularly fans----some of them regurgitate the same harmful rhetoric towards Viktor that they say they supposedly hate, just in mode subtle ways. How are you going to say you hate when Viktor is infantilized, but will be quick to forget he's a grown man who can defend himself (often when trying to pair him against Mel, framing her as the aggressor, and sometimes even Jayce too but to a lesser degree)? Not saying Jayce doesn't get equal amounts of hate, but his more so gets pushed aside along with his character to ultimately frame Viktor in higher regard, often making him ooc. It's like they pick and choose when the issues are prevalent, and when they aren't, and it's so frustrating.

[pvlvsdog]

how easy or hard is it to make the sinners finish? also are you fine with yandere stuff? I want to ask before requesting. Also if your requests aren’t open then feel free to ignore.

Oh my! I made a whole tier list with a friend^^ just need to pull it up. Over half the credit goes to the skinny dipping ask anon, haiii^^ also I’m all good with yandere stuff. I just might have difficulty with certain characters (base ID for Greg to name one, that might not be very long if I’m asked to write something about him; I’ll still write about him, but there’s not a lot to work with for the yandere theme in my eyes) but I will absolutely write it^^ also you will get bonus characters. Because it’s fun^^

TW: 18+, UNEDITED

Not finishing (sorry!):

Faust - sorry but I don’t think she ever came during sex. You can use toys or she can do the job herself and that works, but that’s it honestly. It’s not that you’re doing something wrong, she’s still choosing to spend time with you in that way, but I just think she would finish from touching herself. After all Faust knows Faust the best

Takes a long while:

Ryoshu - it’s not hard to make her finish but if you rush it, she won’t react well. It’s a whole process, getting to that first orgazm. She likes playing around before it, holding it off until she’s satisfied with the act. Like, she won’t ignore you in favour of her pleasure, she wants the both of you to get the most out of this. Which means neither of you is finishing quick, sorry

Sonya - also not that easy. He’s a chill guy, he doesn’t seem like he would mind. He likes you and it was a decent time either way, so it’s not a big issue if he didn’t come. I just feel like, despite his easygoing demeanour, if anything from the book carries over to the game, he miiight have a hard time letting himself be vulnerable during sexual encounters. Participates still, but it’s not a carefree ordeal and it makes orgasming harder. Can use his hand just fine though and doesn’t consider it a wasted night

Demian - kinda hard. Like, I just feel like it would be hard for him to reach a release, but he’d be damned if he still didn’t try. He’s fairly confident and knows himself well, so he has no problem guiding you a little so both of you can orgasm. With his tips it’s not really hard. Side note, but I feel like the experience you’d get is worth it, come on, in the book he’s such an agent of chaos it’s iconic. Yeah he’s calm. But like, if I asked that man to tie my shoes he could as well run off with my shoelaces to prove some point he made earlier hhh

Last above average:

Verg - kinda hard? Like, it’s easier than with the ones above, but you will have to put some effort into pleasing him. He’s guarded and keeps most at an arm’s length so to have a genuine sexual encounter with you, he needs to trust and know you a bit. I don’t think he would be a 10/10 at communicating so you also wouldn’t have a lot to go off of. It changes with time, the communication part, but he still takes a bit to finish

Ishmael - she takes some time as well. I think she’s pretty experienced and has had many amazing as well as mediocre encounters so given that range, don’t expect to just waltz into her room and make her scream your name upon your touch. Good thing is, she has a good idea about what works, just take her suggestions and you’ll get there (she’ll do to ;3). Other component could be the fact that she often doesn’t feel comfortable letting her guard down and not being in control. So, especially if you’re more dominant, I could see some issues stemming from that early on, because as open as she would be to give things a try, if you’re a more dominant person, it could be difficult for her to work with. Not your fault, just give her some time. In bed and outside of it

Hong Lu - I can’t explain it much, I just think it’s not super easy as well. Again, you won’t have him panting and moaning just from doing the bare minimum, but let our curious man explore, make it worth a while, and he’ll reach an orgasm at his pace

Kromer - takes a bit too. She’s pretty horny with a high sex drive but she likes to have her time with you. Likes that you have you to try a bit before she’ll come too

Standard timing 😌😌:

Dante - i feel like they have a pretty average timing. Perhaps it would be faster but they overthink a bit and it’s all a little bit „new”. They don’t even fully know (or well, remember) what they like so that also plays a role. Again, it’s easier than with the characters above but they don’t come super fast

Yi Sang - also pretty much within what you would expect, you have to get him a bit worked up, it’s not as long of a process as it is with some other sinners, but definitely enough for you two to get a bit creative with the foreplay and such

Meursault - I think we just figured getting him placed in the middle of the tier is just funny considering his demeanour. That man is the standard, the average, the perfect representation of the mean. Sex with him definitely isn’t vanilla, I just think he finishes at a very predictable timing, never having you too worked up but also not rushing it

Hopkins - adding him as a silly bonus, I just think it’s funny he stuck in my brain. He also takes a pretty expected amount of time, he has to have some solid foreplay but it’s not like, really hard for you to get him to finish. Just let him have his fun first

Fairly easy:

Don - if you know where her „weaknesses” lay (and it’s not a difficult thing, she’s pretty obvious, I think. Again, I’m keeping in mind how easily she gave herself away when she was questioned about her feelings on being beaten up in CIII, that woman was stuttering like crazy. So like, just go for whatever flusters her and that’s your cue as to what you should do during sex) it’s a very short road from there to having her orgasm. Being easily excitable seems to seep into that part of her life as well :3

Rodya - she knows herself well and is used to putting herself first (since life taught her that if you don’t, nobody else might. Not so say she isn’t a generous person when she can, but like, it is often something she does for attention or praise in general, I think sex is a bit of a different case) so her objective is to have a good time. It might change as you two grow closer, but for the main part she just uses her own knowledge in what gets her off and works from there. Not saying you don’t have to put any work in on your part, but she will make it very easy. If she wants to have sex with you, at least before you two get closer, it’s so that she can have a release, so that will be her main priority. She’ll be nice to you sure, she knows how to be sweet and charming, even when there’s sweat rolling down her face and her back is arching while she adjusts your hands to grip her just right. But before she’s ready to be vulnerable, the sex is more so to fulfil her needs (coming, feeling important, so on) than to grow closer to you

Outis - my funny explanation is “fast but only if you’re Dante” but my actual reasoning for saying that she would be rather quick to finish is that I think it’s been so long and she’s so pent up that it just makes sense. Like, she’s not about to ask for sex from just anyone, she ignores that need too much. So when she finally has sex with you, oh, she clearly means it and has been wanting to do so for a very long time. All in all, she’s on the brink anyways so getting her off is a very easy task

Gregor - that man is starved and kind of easily… well affected by your actions, let’s say. He has no real experience with being desired by someone so you don’t have to try much to get him worked up. Your honest advances and the way you treat him oftentimes leave him exasperated (he can’t believe over the half of things you’re saying, especially given that he would probably make you aware how his modifications will affect any intimate relationship you might want to have with him), but he’d be lying if he said that whatever you were doing wasn’t working. Like, he’s not surprised he’s into it, he just can’t believe that you would want to make such advances towards him in the first place. Honestly if it wasn’t for his self deprecation and fear of hurting you, he’d be on the bottom tier. But those dark thoughts accompany him even when he’s being intimate (or, well, especially then) so he’s still only somewhat below average. He probably blames it on his stamina (which also could be a factor, he’s not as senile as he makes himself out to be but he certainly does struggle keeping up in bed) and probably mumbles something about being “too old for this” and how “you’re going to end him if you keep doing things like this” (his very roundabout way of saying that you affect him greatly). So, with all that in mind, he doesn’t last very long. The only thing keeping him from coming undone upon your touch is concern for your safety should his body act up because of the strong emotions you cause him to feel

Gotta go fast (sorry):

Heathcliff - not sorry about putting him in this category, only sorry for the joke. I mean, that man is pent up, worked up and so, so oblivious to his own feelings that you won’t be having any troubles with making him come. I mean, for the past few years he dedicated himself to the thought of what could (or in this case - couldn’t) be and his ability to reflect and own up to the fact that you’re making him feel a very specific kind of way is hindered as a result. That man could get a raging boner every time you touch him and he still would hold off on reflecting on his feelings. So when he’s finally in a position to have sex with you, you will have him all worked up in record time. Heaving, panting with drops of sweat rolling down his forehead. He desires you greatly, even if he has a hard (hihi) time admitting that (well, that would mean that his whole… thing was a waste of time and also would call into question if he was ever wanted by the person he’s been chasing this whole time, I mean, he couldn’t imagine having her act towards him in the same way you do. Which… well, he doesn’t love the thought). That and his lack of experience with all things sexual leads him to release around the time you’re trying to get started. He tries to last longer and he won’t leave you hanging if he doesn’t. Well… I can certainly tell you that he won’t. But he’s going to try anyways. Just don’t tease him about it, that might actually work in the opposite way. Or do tease him, if that’s what you’re into ;3

Sinclair - if you two getting heated, you’re already halfway done with making him come. He gets horny easily and fast, but usually (always, prior to meeting you probably) his hand has to do. And in the book he is quite filled with thoughts of pretty sexual nature (that are quite a cause of his shame). But insecurity and guilt play a part here too, making him believe that he doesn’t really deserve to experience nice things like that. So when you’re so close to him, something he fantasizes about quite often, it’s making him overwhelmed in the best, most alien way. All the thoughts that could hold him back are gone and instead he is overcome with lust. Which then leads to a very fast release. Just like Heath, I totally see him worked up, heaving and absolutely coming undone. Buuut with the way he is, I don’t think it’s just him being all shy and cumming cutely just to lay down and stutter out a ‘thank you’. That lad is filled with so much anger issues and unprocessed, strong emotions that what you are more likely to get is an extremely horny, awkward, rough encounter and after you blink he’s done and in the process of folding under the weight of post nut clarity (saying this lovingly, not to be biased as the author of this, but this is absolutely a ‘would’ for me. I just don’t think he’s what you would consider… conventionally “good”. Which is subjective, even if there is a ‘popular version’ of what good sex should look like)