#not to even mention chris taking him to a place full of gay men!!

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

More of Crane and his adopted son, Chris. Riddler’s introduction. [Ko-fi commission]

Chris is in high school, but does his schooling on the computer at home. Jonathan actually brought a laptop from Edward, as he doesn’t own much modern technology. Even his television is old.

Chris really likes Edward and is happy that he is friends with his father, because Edward is really cool in his eyes. I mean, what teenager wouldn’t like the Riddler??

Jonathan eventually organizes time for the two to hang out at a local coffee shop. Eddie actually teaches Chris how to code and make simple games during their visits.

One visits, Edward slyly admits to Chris that he has a crush on his dad. Chris, thinking the gay shit, immediately comes up with a plan to get the two men together.

He decides that he’ll give both of them letters from a secret admirer, and trick them both into going on a date. After all, he wants to see his father happy.

And it actually works! Jonathan meets Edward at a nice restaurant wearing his best ugly brown suit and when the two men realize who set it up, they have a good laugh and decide to try this boyfriend thing.

Chris loves spending time with Edward and now he gets to spend EVEN MORE time with him -- it’s a good thing. Even though he’s enamored with his father, the friendship he gained with Edward is invaluable.

As time passes, Chris and Edward grow closer and he considers Edward like another father/ Two dads? That’s pretty fucking cool in his eyes.

Now, Chris doesn’t have to organize dates for the two men, they end up going themselves. Sometimes they do bicker, but that’s normal. It’s a bit of an opposites attract thing.

Edward also tutors Chris in things that Crane can’t -- such as math and some history. They two find that learning together is a good father son bonding experience.

READ MORE HEADCANONS BELOW THE CUT

Slowly but surely Jonathan and Edward grow closer, they’ve been dating for about a year when the two decide they want to make things more serious -- is marriage in their future? Well, Chris sure hopes so!

But before that happens, Chris has a problem. He begins to realizes he might be asexual. This would be scary if you had normal parents, but surely his gay dads wouldn’t have a problem with this?

Well, you know how the mind goes to dark places. Chris is afraid his fathers might force him to have a lifestyle he doesn’t want, despite that never being the case with Jonathan and Edward. Our minds always assume the worst, however.

So he’s scared. He’s heard thing online from other ace teens and the horror stories pray on him like fear toxin.

One day, he swallows his fears and gets his two dads together for a talk. This is where he, scared as can be, admits his sexuality.

The two men look at each other and then back to Chris. Crane smiles with a nod and says he always knew and that he was just waiting from Chris to say the word. Edward leans in for a hug and they both comfort the boy.

He was so worried about being accepted that he forgot his own parents went though similar struggles, but now Chris knows that he is truly loved.

Edward, being more people oriented finds a group of lgbtqia+ teen group for him, and Jonathan makes a ace flag patch for his jacket.

And these two proud fathers will do anything to protect their son, so they arm him and teach him such things as Jonathan’s “Crane Kong-fu” to defend himself from bigots.

Chris knows now that he is loved, he found his family and that he really admires his two fathers.

BONUS RANDOM CHRIS HEADCANONS

Chris’s first coding game is actually a mock up flappy bird clone but with Riddler Trophies

His favorite snack is Swedish Fish and he likes to dip them in hot coco

He takes after Jonathan in that he likes coffee, black with no flavor.

However he really likes tuna sandwiches, a sample in Edward’s diet

Chris really likes to drive Jonathan’s motorcycle, did I mention Jonathan has one? Because Chris is so jealous and sometimes sneak out late at night for a joyride. 

This family is a family full of acceptance, Chris, despite being scared to come out, normally doesn’t feel anxiety over asking his fathers for help and especially not now. Now he knows he can come to them for anything.

Chris’ favorite color is a tie being orange and green. gee I wonder why ;)

He is elf taught in sign language

Chris likes reading a whole lot, thanks to his dads buying him comics and graphic novels.

He really wants to adopt some rats, but is unsure if his dads would approve lol (also there’s the crows to worry about)

[neroushalvaus]

In a way I would have liked it if the screentime given to Chris, Richard and Guy in the two movies had all been given to a single character who would have been Thomas's love interest because that would have meant the love interest could be fleshed out more and all that jazz.

But at the same time I'm so glad that in the movies he has not one, not two but three men who are interested in him. After six seasons of Downton Abbey and no man showing on-screen interest in him during its run I was half-prepared for the first movie to throw a man at him and him being just so grateful that any guy could ever show interest in him that he'd swoon on the spot. And don't get me wrong, I would have taken that storyline like a shot and humbly thanked Lord Jules for offering us this tiny crumb of representation, but at the same time that would have made me question if Thomas truly likes the man or does he just think he has to grab this opportunity to have a lover because this is the only gay man on earth besides him, his long-forgotten ex and that one dead marquess he never met, and he ought to be grateful that this gay man condescends to like him.

But the fact that Chris, Richard and Guy all see him in these movies and instantly think he's attractive and desirable... They're not exactly fighting for his love or anything because none of them know about each other, but they create the same effect as, I don't know, Mary having multiple suitors at the same time: Thomas is someone people want, he is handsome and fascinating enough to attract more than one man, he doesn't have to settle for anyone he doesn’t like because he will have others who are interested in him. No matter what you envision his future to be like (where he will live, who will he end up with), he will have the knowledge that he is wanted and desired and even if one of his relationships were not to work out, he will find someone new. I love it. It makes me happy.

[kaypeace21]

Do you think that the hellfire club is a D&D group or some sport team or what do you think it is? (BTW big fan of your theories)

I think it’s a d&d club. I talked about it in past posts.I think being about d&d makes sense since the game would foreshadow future plot points- like it did in prior seasons . And the “hellfire club” is even an X-men group relating to the dark Phoenix which was referenced in s1 by Will . And I think they’ll take inspiration from that comic book arc for future seasons too . (So it’s an eastergg) . But, also , being called “the hellfire club” is probably an inside joke with the club members- since in the 80s, adults claimed d&d was about devil worship.)

In Bts photos- one of the members has a ‘Wasp’ pin which is a heavy metal band formed in 1982 -so the club is not so shockingly confirmed to be into rock.Along with d&d (if the leaks are legit) . Makes sense since both things are part of counter culture that was demonized by the “satanic panic” in the 80s. In the 80s. D&d (similar to rock music) was believed to be satanic - so the club name (for the club members)is a joke making fun of these people who think that’s true . But also (as a show is) another dark Phoenix ref . One of the s4 movies ‘paradise lost’  (was about a real life case) of small town teens   who were into punk music, horror movies, stephen king, wore black,  into wicca, and accused of being gay. They were unfairly blamed for ‘ satanic child m**ders (in the woods & near a river). They weren’t guilty . But, because ‘satanic panic’ was still alive and well ...the town’s people used their hobbies/ punk look/ and perceived sexualities as ‘proof” they were guilty. The case was later described as a ‘witch hunt’. Meanwhile the other (more likely suspect) at the time was John “Mark” Byers- who was a hunter, had a thing for hunting knives, religious, admitted to hitting his kids, and was  accused of s**ually abusing his son, shot pumpkins (s2 ref), and sang a song about creating a portal to another world without light , that you could enter via a tree (s1 ref). Years later-after the doc- it’s implied he wasn’t guilty either. But, one of the other victims’ fathers - Terry was assumed to be guilty - he was also was accused of m***esting his son and daughter (by his own family members). Admitted to hitting his wife and kids. And had a police report filed on him - describing breaking into a women’s house , while she was in a tub and trying to attack her. He was also formerly charged for m*rdering one of his wife’s family members- but got away with it claiming self defense). Heck if the names John byers/Terry being in the film/st wasn’t crazy enough- the victims were named Steve, Michael, and Chris byers (luckily ours don’t have that same horrible fate/back stories).

I kind of assume - the d&d club will be looked at suspiciously as teens go missing/ kidnapped/ or maybe found k*lled in the woods/quarry. And the cops/others think they’re “satanic k*llings” and rumors about the d&d club insue. And maybe our teens suspect it’s the demogorgan again. But as a subversion- it isn’t and it’s a human . A human that by ab*sing Will- caused Will to unconsciously create many things including the demogorgan (which in d&d is called the “deep father”) . Also, in s3 they called Will “the devil’s baby” (Aka lonnie is the real “devil” ).And such incidents in the woods/ near the quarry would connect back to s1 demogorgan & Will being found in the quarry. And if paying attention you already noticed s1 demogorgan paralleled Lonnie a lot! So s4 would start bringing things to the surface- in regards to how evil Lonnie really is.Not to mention more hints (I previously posted) that hinted they’ll go with this “ch*ld serial ki##er plot line...

But then again I think it may not be literally Lonnie. My guess: Brenner (who I think was created/based on lonnie) is possibly doing failed experiments of teens to open portals (in the basement of pethurst -like in hellraiser 2) . And dumping failed experiments in the woods/water. A few movies had the d*ad victims have numbers carved in them. And then El/kali team up and maybe sneak into the facility (like in ace Ventura people posing as siblings investigate a m*rder and one fakes being ‘crazy’ to sneak in and find a murderer) . In ‘peanut butter solution’ 2 kids - 1 of them is goth/not american teams up with a girl to find a man named ‘senior ‘who is kidnapping kids. 1 of them also sneaks in and is captured on purpose to investigate. Kali already busted Dottie out of a psych hospital and lucas referenced El being there in s1. Alexi (like el-another alter of Will) watches roadrunner- in that papa bear throws him in a psych facility. And assasains creed/dream warriors - the psychiatric facility was similar to the lab with sensory deprivation tanks, cameras, solitary confinement in dark rooms. We already know 1 new character is against the mistreatment of people at the facility. Also the real pethurst (in Pennsylvania) -known for human rights a*use issues- wasn’t a psych facility (but a place for people with intellectual disabilities). So El being at the psych hospital version in Indianna (and maybe having id herself like I mentioned before -would be a nice ref). And in assasains creed- when the character starts sneaking around investigating - the dr reveals how the character is actual the reincarnation of their ancestor ( brenner tells el she’s an alter of Will’s ). And before that the dr was making that person relive the traumatic past of their past life/other person -which they couldn’t change (sort of like el seeing Billy’s past in s3). Also kali said her and El should team up to face their father- which I think they’ll do. And I’m excited about it!

I still think brenner was created by Will and based on Lonnie so he could be responsible and connected to Will/Jon’s backstory with Lonnie/the Woods. In an abstract way. Like how brenner/Lonnie forced their kids to k*ll animals. Brenner threw El in a dark room/ Lonnie threw Will in a trunk. Brenner’s name being associated with the woods and Lonnie being a hunter , etc.

Also we know s4 involves this dark-storyline involving c**ld m*rders cause of foreshadowing

* Also, mentioned here how in s4 rolling a 11 isn’t actually a good thing and that it’s a callback to Will rolling a 7- in s1. Before things go array.In “paradise lost” when blaming the innocent goth boys someone asks the chief “on a scale 1 to 10 how confident are you? You have the right men?” And he laughs and says “11.”

*And , just for historical context of how ‘metal ‘ and ‘scary ‘ d&d was to nonplayers (in the 80s).

“In 1985, 60 Minutes dedicated a full hour to the supposed connection between D&D, Satanic rites, murders and su*cides . 2 years earlier, Patricia Pulling formed Bothered About Dungeons and Dragons (BADD) . She described D&D as ‘a fantasy role-playing game which leads to demonology, witchcraft, voodoo, murder, r*pe, blasphemy, suicide, assassination, insanity, sex perversion, homosexuality, pr*stitution, satanic type rituals, gambling, barbarism, cannibalism, sadism, desecration, demon summoning, necromantics, divination and other teachings.’ In 1987, Peter Leithart and George Grant published The Catechism of the New Age, a pamphlet where they introduced the idea that D&D was immoral because roleplaying allowed too much freedom for critical thinking, which might lead to heretical ideas. That same year, Chris Pritchard and two friends conspired to murder Pritchard’s stepfather in his sleep, the media ignored the obvious financial motivation and instead focused on the men being in the same D&D group.”

( I think quite a few of those themes will come up in s4/5 - although d&d isn’t the actual cause). It’ll just be a subversion.

[takerfoxx]

In response to JK Rowling and Joss Whedon, my (former) idols

I really didn’t want to have to do this.

So in addition to…=gestures vaguely=…all of that, the last few months have been kind of sucky when it comes to learning some really unpleasant things about artists that I looked up to, admired, and was in fact inspired by. I’ve already spoken about the Speaking Out movement revealing a lot of ugly behavior from various wrestlers, some of which I was big fans of, and then later we got Chris Jericho being a full-on MAGA. Yeah, that all sucked. But those were just performers whose work I enjoyed watching. The one that really hurt were writers who I deeply admired, whose stories I love, and who I was heavily influenced by.

The first, of course, was finding out that JK Rowling, the author of perhaps the single biggest YA fantasy series of all time Harry Potter, is a TERF. This really sucked for a number of reasons. Firstly, I really like Harry Potter! I mean, I’m not a super fan or anything. I came into it when things were kind of dying down, like the whole book series had already been released and there were only a few movies left, but I still really enjoyed it, have all the books and movies and a fair amount of merchandise swag, including a nifty wand I got at Universal Studios. Shit, I got two replicas of the Sword of Griffyindor, thanks to them screwing up my order in my favor and sending me a duplicate! They’re on my wall right across from me as I type this!

But in addition to writing a book series I really liked, JK Rowling was supposed to be one the good guys. She’s been vocally progressive, often openly comes down on British right-wing nonsense, has supported various persecuted minorities, and is on record as being one of the few self-made billionaires to actually stop being a billionaire for a time because she donated so much money to charity. And while we mock it now, her revealing Dumbledore as gay was a huge deal at the time. Plus, she cultivated this reputation as Auntie Jo, that cool, supportive aunt we all wanted.

But for a while her stock has been dropping. Her preference for confirming “representation” via tweets instead of explicitly putting it in the text of her stories has raised the question of queer-baiting, especially with a whole-ass movie with a young Dumbledore and Grindelwald to make their relationship explicit but failing to do so. The whole Nagini thing from the latest Fantastic Beasts movie was pretty gross. And re-examination of various problematic elements from the original novels has rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. Now, none of these really looked to be intentionally malicious, of course. Just about everyone’s early work will have problematic elements; that’s just how people work. And the later stuff smacked more of ignorance than anything. But after all this time, it’s like, c’mon. You should know better by now.

But the biggie came when her transphobic views finally came to light. Now, this one had been brewing for a while, due to some questionable likes and statements on her twitter. But then she decided to just go public and published what essentially amounts to a TERF manifesto, one with a very “love the sinner, hate the sin” condescending attitude and had a real persecution complex air to it.

Now, I’m not going to go into detail about what the manifesto was about, what the circumstances surrounding it were, or how wrong it was. It’s already been raked over the coals, dissected, answered, and debunked in detail by people far more qualified than me, so odds are, you’re already well aware of its contents and the subsequent rebuttals. But the gist of it comes down to her basically believing that transwomen are actually cis men claiming to be trans so as to infiltrate and invade female-only spaces.

Yeah.

Okay, that’s gross, but…why? Why is someone so noted for being progressive and wanting to foster an inclusive environment making this the hill of exclusion that she wants to die on?

Well, that’s where things get tricky. She mentions that prior to Harry Potter, her first marriage was highly physically and sexually abusive, and when she escaped from that, she had no place to go, leading her to be homeless for a time.

Oh.

Well, that makes sense. Someone goes through a highly traumatic experience with a member of the opposite sex, has no support structure when she escapes it, is left to fend for herself, only to suddenly get rocketed into fame, fortune, and influence, which in turn leads to a Never Again mentality. She was hurt, no one was there to help her, and now she’s afraid of men invading women-only spaces to victimize others like she was victimized. So…literally transphobic. Literally a Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist.

Guys, this is so fucked up. Like, how do you even approach something like this? She’s a victim in every sense of the word, so of course she’s going to have physiological damage and a warped view of things. I mean, if I found out that a close friend of mine went through the same thing and had the same prejudices, I would be nothing but sympathetic! I mean, I’d still do what I can to convince her to overcome those prejudices, but I’d still show sympathy and support for what she went through.

Abuse warps people. There’s a reason why so many abusers are abuse survivors themselves. It makes you terrified of being hurt again and often causes people to adopt toxic behaviors, beliefs, and reactions to protect themselves. I’ve already talked about it at length while discussing She-Ra and its own handling of the cycle of abuse, which included franks discussions of Catra’s horrible behavior, why she was the way she was, while never losing sympathy for her and rooting for her to overcome it. So if JK Rowling is an abuse survivor, is it really right to come down on her for having warped views because of that abuse?

But that’s the problem. See, she isn’t your troubled friend that you’re trying to help. She isn’t your cousin Leslie who’s a really sweet person but unfortunately adopted some bad ideals due to trauma suffered. She JK freakin’ ROWLING, one of the most famous, wealthy, and influential women in the world. She has a platform of millions, if not billions, which means her voice lends credibility to her bigoted beliefs. Alt-righters and other TERFs have already swooped upon this for giving validation to their awful beliefs, which puts trans people even more at risk. And as horrible as Rowling’s experiences might have been, the trans community is often the victim of far worse, and they don’t have a mountain of money and an army of defenders to protect them like she does. I’ve said it time and time again: just because you’re a victim, that doesn’t give you the right to victimize others! And bringing things back to Catra, as much as I loved her redemption in the final season, she was still a TERRIBLE PERSON for a huge chunk of the show, one that needed to be stood up to and stopped.

So yeah. That’s the messiness that is JK Rowling.

Now, let’s talk about the one that really hurts. Let’s talk about Joss Whedon.

I’ve made no secret of what a huge Whedon fan I am. Unlike Rowling, I was a HUUUUUGE superfan. Seeing Serenity for the first time in theaters was akin to a religious awakening to me as a storyteller, making it one of my top three movies of all time. Firefly is my favorite show ever. And I adored Buffy, Angel, and Dollhouse as well. I love Cabin in the Woods and The Avengers. The very first fanfic I ever wrote was a Firefly fanfic that disappeared along with my old laptop. I know his style isn’t for everyone, but I cannot understate how much of a personal inspiration he is to me as a writer.

And like Rowling, Joss was supposed to be one of the good guys! Buffy was monumental in pushing the needle when it came to female empowerment. Will and Tara were groundbreaking as a gay couple. He’s been outspoken for years about his feminist views and beliefs and was seen as one of the most prominent and influential feminist voices in Hollywood!

And then things started to go bad.

One day he was on top of the world, the mastermind behind the first two Avenger movies. And the next, it seemed like he was in freefall. It’s hard to really pinpoint exactly when the change took place. Some would say him being brought in as a last-minute substitute for Zack Snyder to take over on Justice League after Snyder had to leave due to family tragedy, and the subsequent awful critical reception to that film tarnishing his image, even if those were very unique circumstances that couldn’t really be blamed on him. Others might point to Age of Ultron’s less than stellar reception, as well as criticism of some questionable jokes and certain creative decisions regarding the character of Black Widow, which then led to a more critical examination of how Whedon continues to write female characters, as while his work might have been revolutionary in the 90’s, his failure to evolve with the times had meant that many of his portrayals are now woefully outdated and problematic, with his vision for a Batgirl movie getting hit with a lot of backlash as a result.

Again, I’m not going to go into too much detail, as this is all public knowledge and can be easily looked up, but overall it seemed that Whedon entered into a period where he was getting criticized more than he was celebrated, and his image of a guaranteed hit maker was now in doubt.

But all of this wasn’t the big problem. All creators go through rises and slumps, and everyone hits points where they get hit with a barrage of criticism; that’s just part of being a public creative figure, especially a progressive one. And had nothing happened after, it would have probably faded, got forgotten, and Whedon would have moved onto the next project with no fuss.

But as it turned out, it wasn’t just a minor slump in his career. Instead, it was the priming of the pump.

In 2016, Whedon divorced his wife of sixteen years, Kai Cole, and in an open letter, Kai Cole accused him of being a serial cheater, who would have affairs with a great many women, from co-workers, to actresses, to friends, to even his fans. And in addition to raising questions of him possibly abusing his position as showrunner to elicit sex from those working on his projects, there also is the ugly question of how could someone who speaks so highly of women then go and backstab the person who was supposed to be the most important woman in his life, as well as lying to her and denying her the autonomy of deciding whether or not she even wanted to continue to have a relationship with him?

Furthermore, Whedon himself has not explicitly denied these accusations, and comments made by him seem only to confirm them.

Now if you’ll recall, I reacted publicly to this news, and despite my admiration of Whedon’s work, I came down on Kai Cole’s side, and stated that while things like marriage issues and infidelity were no one’s business but that of the couple’s, it did raise a lot of uncomfortable questions about how Whedon treated the women in his life and he really needed to get his shit in order.

But hey, a messy private life and a guy falling into temptation isn’t that big of a deal, right? Plenty of creators also go through multiple marriages and have problems staying faithful and still continue making great art. We’re all human, it’s a stressful job, and this shit just happens, right? Sure, it’s gross and a shitty thing to do, but ain’t no business of ours, right?

In late 2020, actor Ray Fisher, who played the role of Cyborg in Justice League, openly accused Joss Whedon of fostering a hostile work environment, claiming that the director’s behavior was abusive and unprofessional, and that Whedon in turn was protected by DC executives.

DC and Warner Bros. came down against Fisher, claiming they had done an internal investigation that turned up no evidence of wrongdoing (yeah, sure they did), and soon Fisher was out as Cyborg, apparently for rocking the boat.

But then Charisma Carpenter, noted for her important role as Cordelia Chase in both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, then spoke up, claiming to be inspired by Fisher in doing so. She described Whedon did indeed foster a hostile work environment on his projects, that his often acted in a toxic manner, from asking incredibly invasive and inappropriate questions regarding her pregnancy to insulting her on set. She said that she made excuses for him for years, but after undergoing a lot of therapy and reading what Ray Fisher had to say, she felt compelled to speak out.

And this just open the floodgates. Other actors and actresses also came forward, some with stories of their own, others to offer support. Even Buffy herself, Sarah Michelle Gellar, confirmed Carpenter’s stories and said that she no longer wanted to be associated with Whedon. Michelle Trachtenberg, who played the character of Dawn, stated that she also experienced toxic treatment from Whedon despite her being a minor at the time, and says that the set had a rule that Whedon wasn’t allowed to be alone with her again, which really raises some sickening questions of what happened the first time. Even male stars have spoken out, from words of support and apologies for not speaking up earlier from Anthony Stewart Head and David Boreanaz, to an earlier interview with James Marsters, in which he described being terrified of Whedon, mainly due to an instance when Whedon was frustrated with the popularity of Marsters’s character of Spike messing with his plans and physically and verbally taking it out on the actor. There have been many corroborating stories of Whedon being casually cruel on set, on seemingly taking delight in making his fellow show writers cry, and even the man himself admitting to enjoying fostering a hostile work environment during his director commentary of the Avengers. We’ve joked about Whedon’s supposed sadism for years, but that was in regards to how he treated the characters in his stories, not the people helping him make them!

So yeah. That’s the problem with Joss Whedon.

So, do I think that Joss Whedon is somehow some kind of sociopath who lied about his feminist principles and deliberately put on a progressive façade specifically to get into a position of power so he could torment people? No, of course not. I think he was sincere about his beliefs, and I do think he didn’t realize the wrongness of his behavior. But that’s kind of the problem. See, it’s one thing to have kind of a trollishness to your nature, a sort of sadistic side. No one can help that. But when someone with that quality gets put into a position of power in which they are protected by both the higher-ups and their legions of fans, they are allowed to mistreat and continue to mistreat people. And by never suffering any consequences, that sort of toxic behavior becomes internalized, becomes a habit, becomes their moda operandi. And when you’re constantly getting praised as a creative genius and a wonderful feminist voice, any self-criticism just gets wiped away, and you think yourself above reproach, leading to what Joss Whedon became and went on being.

And you know what scares me the most about this particular issue? It’s not that I am a fan of his stories. It’s that I can so easily see myself turning out the same way.

Look, I’ll be upfront about it: I’m kind of a sadist myself. You’ve seen it in my stories, you’ve seen me gloating after a particularly dark plot twist makes my readers freak out. That sort of stuff is fun to me. There’s a reason why I have a much easier time in the dark and violent scenes, because I’m channeling something ugly within me. We all have a dark side, and this is mine.

But UNLIKE Whedon, that doesn’t carry over to how I treat people in real life (unless Monopoly or Mario Party are involved, then it’s fair game). Maybe it’s because I wasn’t given the sort of power and praise he did so early, and I was always taught to be considerate of other people’s feelings, but if I ever find out that I hurt another person or went too fair, I feel TERRIBLE, and it just throws me off all day until I apologize. Even if I don’t notice right away that what I said or did wasn’t cool (autistic, remember?), when it’s pointed out to me and I have some time to think on it, yeah, the guilt is on and I make a point to apologize to whoever I’ve hurt. I’ve even made a point to apologize to members of my family for inconsiderate stuff I said years ago as a little punk kid because it wouldn’t stop bugging me.

So maybe Whedon got too big, too fast. Maybe putting people on these sorts of pedestals, especially progressive ones, is ultimately a bad thing.

So where does this leave us? How are we to treat JK Rowling and Joss Whedon, one who developed a lot of transphobia due to abuse suffered while the other became a toxic individual due to unchecked control and a lack of consequences? Can we still enjoy their stories despite them now being colored by their creators’ falls from grace? Can we separate the art from the artist, or do we have to do a clean split?

Honestly, I feel that has to come down to the individual. I can’t remove the influence Rowling and Whedon have had on me as a storyteller, and I still highly respect both of their talents despite taking major issue with their problems as people. And I’m not going go throw away all of my Harry Potter or Firefly stuff. Because that’s my stuff. It has value to me, it doesn’t represent the issues with their creators, and a lot of it was gifts from people who are dear to me. Though I do think it’ll be a long time before I return to either of their work, as I just don’t have the stomach for it now.

But I will be avoiding any projects they have in the future. I don’t want to put money in their pockets that might go on to support their toxic beliefs or behavior. And as for royalties for their past work that would also support the cast and crew of the Harry Potter films or those who worked on Whedon’s shows who do not deserve to lose money because we don’t want any of that money going to the creators? Er, that question is a little above my paygrade. I don’t know. You’ll have to all decide for yourselves. As for me, I still have a lot of thinking to do.

Regardless though, if I or anyone else is still able to enjoy their work, then it’s important to not divorce what these people said or did from the art they created, even if it makes enjoying that art less fun. It’s important to be critical about what we enjoy, to acknowledge the bad aspects along with the good, and open up discussion of those elements, because that’s what mature adults are supposed to do. 

And as for JK Rowling and Joss Whedon, whose stories I love, whose talent I admire, and whose past good work I’ll happily acknowledge, I do hope they both experience some sort of realization and enter into a period of self-examination that leads to them getting help for their issues, for Rowling to get help in coming to terms with her trauma and realizing that she’s wrong about the trans community and a full apology, and for Whedon to also come to terms with his toxic behavior and how he treats people, for him to make no excuse for what he did and sincerely apologize to those he hurt and work on bettering himself, as well as them both examining some of the more problematic tropes still present in their works. Because despite everything, I do feel that they can still be a creative force of good, and it would be a shame if they let themselves self-destruct.

But if not, then if it comes down to choosing between Rowling and the protecting the trans community, if it comes down between choosing between letting Whedon continue to make shows and protecting actors and writers from his abusive behavior, then I know who I’m siding with, and it ain’t the two individuals this whole essay is about. No story, no matter how good, no matter how creative, is worth letting sacrificing vulnerable people in order for it to be made.

[elskamo]

Aleduncan Week, Day 2

How on earth did I write over 1300 words for this!? It’s Day 2 of Aleduncan Week so I’ve combined the prompts for Coming Out, Confessions, and Pride. This one hints at some darker stuff in places but is otherwise pretty positive towards the end. I’ve also referenced a few popular ships and headcanons throughout too. I really hope you guys enjoy this one, it took me so long to finish:

To say Total Drama hadn’t aged well was an understatement. As the show’s ten year anniversary was coming up and Chris went into overdrive trying to create a big enough buzz to warrant another season much of the contestants past behaviour was dredged up again. Homophobic remarks, transphobic jokes, there was even a passionate argument from one news outlet around deliberately queerbaiting audiences and refusing to acknowledge contestant’s LGBT+ identities on the show. The backlash became so great there was only one thing to do…

Duncan kept his hoodie up over his head as he stomped over to the float. He couldn’t believe Chris was making them do this. He could have made a half-assed apology on social media or talked to a journalist about how ‘it was a different time back then’. But no, he had to make a huge show of sponsoring one of the biggest Pride events in the country and buying a whole damn float for the old castmates to ride during the parade. So maybe Duncan had contributed to some of the controversies on the show… okay, he’d been responsible for a lot of them, but did he really have to take part in some glorified publicity stunt to make up for it? It was ten years ago!

As the young man weaved his way through the swarm of people he finally reached his old teammates getting ready. He immediately noticed Geoff and Bridgette together stringing some lights up on the side of the vehicle but who was that other guy with them and why was he holding Geoff’s free hand? DJ wandered over to help the group, but his look was a lot gloomier than Duncan remembered; his entire outfit was coloured black, white, grey, and purple. Had he gone goth or something? Glancing around he recognised Owen and Noah talking to some guy in a leotard and another dork with glasses, neither of which Duncan could place. Owen was doing his usual touchy feely crap, but Noah was being surprisingly cool about it, he was even smiling! 

Walking away from what was possibly the creepiest thing he had ever witnessed in his adult life Duncan doubled back, hopefully he could just hide out in the public bathroom and no one would notice he hadn’t shown up. Even with all the noise around him he could still hear giggling coming from the women’s room. Rolling his eyes the former convict made a beeline for the men’s room until another round of giggles made him stop in his tracks. He knew that laugh… Staring down the door he gently pushed it open, his eyes widening in shock as he witnessed Courtney and Heather making out against the countertop.

The door slammed as Duncan let go, bolting as far away from the scene as possible, pushing and shoving anyone that got in his way. Why did he bother coming? He shouldn’t be here, he couldn’t handle this! The whole world felt blurred as he ran, it was only when he slammed into something hard that his vision began to clear. Blinking away the tears he hadn’t realised were falling he found himself face to face with one of the last people he wanted to see.

To his credit, Alejandro hadn’t made a big deal about the situation and for that Duncan was grateful. The two were sat in one of the big chain coffee shops nearby, Alejandro insisting that the two of them had time to spare and of course he didn’t mind paying for drinks. He was sat opposite him now in the booth, calmly sipping his tea in silence while Duncan huddled up even more in his hoodie, as if the dark garment would hide him somehow. After ten minutes without any talking he finally spoke up, “You know our ex-girlfriends are sucking face right now don’t you?”

Alejandro raised his eyebrow, “Well they have been dating for almost six years.” Noting the look of shock on Duncan’s face he continued, “They ended up rooming together at college, they made amends with each other, and when Heather came out we broke up and she asked out Courtney. They make a pretty cute couple.” Duncan frowned in confusion, “So they’re both... lesbians?” “Heather’s a lesbian, as far as I know Courtney identifies as bisexual.”

Duncan leaned back, seemingly trying to process that information, “But everyone else is still straight, right?” Alejandro held back a laugh, “Some people still identify as straight. Some have come to terms with their identity or are still exploring it. A few of us were already out during the show but are more open about it now.” He gestured towards his tank top which Duncan finally took notice of, it looked like a pink, yellow, and blue flag though Duncan had no idea what the colours meant. “The show wasn’t really the most… accepting place to talk about this kind of thing. One or two of us might bring it up our dating lives or lack thereof off camera otherwise we just didn’t mention it. The producers pretty much axed all the footage they deemed ‘unsuitable’ anyway.”

There was a clear edge to Alejandro’s voice that caught Duncan off guard. The other man took a large gulp from his drink while the delinquent stared down into his still full mug. Duncan fiddled with his jacket zipper for a couple of minutes while the silence set in once again. His brow furrowed as he seemingly came to a decision, his eyes stayed focused on his drink as he spoke, “Sorry I don’t really get this kinda stuff, it’s never really come up before.” “Never?” “My family don’t talk about it. I mean, a few of them were discussing the whole gay marriage thing in America a couple years ago but…”

As Duncan trailed off Alejandro sat up in his seat, his companion still examining his untouched coffee. Choosing his words carefully he asked, “So do you still see your family often? Or have you moved in with a partner or…?” Duncan chuckled but he sounded far from amused, “No I’m still at home, went straight back to my childhood digs once my sentence was over. I haven’t really seen anyone since I got out, never got round to it I guess.” “Not still hung up on Courtney then?” “Oh god no!” 

The two of them laughed humourlessly when Duncan finally looked Alejandro in the eye, “Honestly I wasn’t really all that sad when we broke up for good. I mean, yeah I missed having her around, but I wasn’t upset that the relationship was over. I don’t think I ever got upset during any of our splits. I didn’t really care when Gwen dumped me either…” A flash of understanding passed between them and Alejandro reached under the table to squeeze Duncan’s hand, “You know, it’d be good for you to join us today. Get some fresh air, see your old friends, get some closure. You might even have fun.”

Duncan hesitated and pulled back, leaving Alejandro’s hand hanging, “I don’t know, it’s kinda overwhelming out there, I should probably-” “One hour!” Both men jumped a little at Alejandro’s outburst, it seemed he’d even surprised himself. Clearing his throat Alejandro lowered his voice, “The parade is only an hour long, you could always stay with me while we’re out there and if you still wanna go… we can chill at my place for a bit?”

Alejandro silently cursed himself until Duncan gently tugged the zipper down on his hoodie, revealing his blank T-shirt, save for the little rainbow flag in the centre. “Let’s… get this over with I guess.” Duncan laughed awkwardly as the pair got up to leave. Taking a deep breath at the door the two men smiled at each other as Alejandro led Duncan back to the float. This time when he took his hand Duncan didn’t let go.

[yndigot]

As for Thomas having never been in a space for gay ppl before, I suppose I can maybe reason around it if we consider that he’s from a small town; then he goes to live in a small village w a job where he’s hardly ever free(and any travelling he does do is also on the job); and he’s working class (and iirc most of those bars etc were geared more towards upper class gay ppl) and you could maybe only find these places if you knew what you were looking for. (Also him never having been to a gay bar in his life and possibly not even knowing they existed might also explain why he was so gosh darn bitter all the time lmao; literally no fun time for him at all)

I dig that people want to talk about this! 

I don’t think Thomas grew up in a small town! Mostly because while RJC changes the way Thomas speaks in different contexts, he does NOT change his own (real life) distinctive Manc accent, so I can’t really headcanon Thomas growing up anywhere but Manchester or very Manchester adjacent. That’s not a small town with no access to city life. (We can talk about why Phyllis doesn’t necessarily sound like she grew up down the street from him. That’s another post. I don’t think Thomas would have gone out of his way to acquire such a distinctive Manc accent, though, so it’s more believable to me that Phyllis has done some work to lose her accent, not that Thomas is faking his.)

If you decide to discount the Manchester of it all, then sure, he can be a small town lad who went to live and work at country houses and has spent most of his life in rural, isolated areas. But I still see problems with that.

I’ll actually believe that he never went to gay bar in Manchester because he’s a first footman in Yorkshire by (probably) his early-ish 20s, which means he probably went into service, possibly some distance from Manchester, at some point in his teens. Since he didn’t arrive at Downton until c. 1910, it’s possible he worked at another house as a hall boy before then. Relatively young. Especially if he was working at another country house, he probably wasn’t going to gay bars on his half day. I’ll also believe that he didn’t know there were gay bars in York because it’s a MUCH smaller city than Manchester, which I think probably makes the gay scene smaller and harder to find, and tbh, if he knew it was there, you’re right -- he wouldn’t have been so miserable. So. He didn’t know about queer spaces where he grew up, and he doesn’t know about them where he lives now. I’m with you so far.

But at least before the war,* he didn’t spend the full year at a country house in rural Yorkshire. He went up to London for the season with the Crawleys. Including one season where he was sneaking around with the Duke. He had all of gay London at his fingertips and never realised it was there? At all? Not even the Duke clued him in? The Duke definitely had access to the higher class places you mentioned. He didn’t even tell Thomas such places existed? Never took him there as a sort of pet? Also, Thomas has clearly been to disreputable clubs before since he knows exactly what sort of scam Dekner is running with Andy. He’s comfortable getting around London and socialising in his (admittedly limited) free time while working for the family. He never found his way to queer spaces?

Grantham House is in St. James’s Square, which is in the West End and VERY close to major queer hubs. He never saw anyone and clocked them? And maybe followed to see where they were going? He never went cruising? No one he hooked up with ever clued in him to places where queer men socialised? I mean, I know I’ve commented in other places about how Thomas is not always good at picking up signals, but I feel like he couldn’t possibly miss ALL of that. (tbh I feel like this is discounting the number of queer men in service generally before the war as well -- when they’re all in the city for the season, he never talks to these other men and none of them clue him in?)

And we’ve got this passage in Matt Houlbook’s Queer London.

The most distinctive venues were in working-class neighborhoods in east and south London -- dockside pubs like the Prospect of Whitby (Wapping Stairs) or Charlie Brown’s--(West India Dock Road). Dock laborers, sailors from across the world, and families mingled freely with flamboyant local queans and slumming gentlemen in a protean milieu where queer men and casual homosexual encounters were an accepted part of everyday life.

Okay, so admittedly, idk that Thomas was dragging himself out to east or south London in the little free time he had in London. And while there were definitely working-class places for queer men, they do seem to be less nightclubs with bands playing and more pubs and coffee shops and cruising venues where men tried to project a very masculine image, and also places where working class pretty boys would congregate and middle class trade would come to pick them up. Maybe he’s just shocked by the open dancing. (This is my generous interpretation of the movie -- that he’s shocked specifically about the fact that it’s a night club and it’s in York, and that ‘I don’t know men like me’ is a statement about his isolation, not about him literally not knowing where he could get laid, if not in York, then certainly in a bigger city.)

Anyway, working class spaces did exist! He seems so shocked not just by the open dancing, but by the idea that a large number of queer men are gathering, and I can’t imagine he’s never realised that queer spaces exist before or that he’s never spent time in them. I just ... have a hard time imagining he’s that sheltered and clueless. There have been chances for him to be exposed to queer spaces, if not ones exactly like the one we see in the movie.

It made for a very sweet moment when he stepped into that club and his face lit up. RJC did an excellent job. I don’t think Julian’s plotting around Thomas’s previous exposure to other queer people makes a lot of sense, though. I fully believe that he doesn’t have queer friends near Downton -- that maybe he’s never really made queer friends that he keeps in touch with (rather than casual encounters that immediately pass out of his life), and so he probably feels very isolated from gay life where he’s living now. I’m sure that contributed to his depression. I tend to think he may have had an extended period of celibacy, possibly since before his crush on Jimmy, which, again, probably contributed to his isolation and depression. I just think pre-war Thomas had to have been exposed to more than the movie suggests.

I’m not discouraging anyone from writing small-town, wide-eyed Thomas if that appeals to you. It’s just 100% not in line with what I felt we got in the 6 series that led up to that movie. To me, it doesn’t feel like it matches the set up from the show. I came out of the movie thinking that Thomas and Richard were very sweet, but wondering how, given what we’d seen of him previously, Thomas had made it to nearly 40, managed to fuck a Duke, comfortably navigated seedy London, possibly(?) knew he was getting cruised at a bar, and still seemed surprised not just that such a place existed in York, but seemingly that such places existed at all. (If he didn’t know he was getting cruised, idk what to do with him, tbh. I do think he realised that Chris was interested in him, though. He was surprised, but he knew what was going on.)

YMMV. I’m not mad about people having very different takes to mine. It just didn’t really work for me. I preferred the more knowing Thomas from earlier on. Does that have to do with the tens of thousands of words I’d written of him being more knowing and worldly about queer spaces before the movie came out? Possibly. That definitely made it harder for me to see him seem so sheltered. If I wasn’t already annoyed with Julian’s approach to Thomas at various points in the series, maybe that also would have made me more willing to buy in.

*I know they went down to London from time to time after the war -- I honestly can’t remember if they were still regularly participating in ‘the season’ after it started to decline as a central part of the social calendar, although I know they did at least do Rose’s season. Maybe they were still doing it every year. Someone’s free to let me know.

(Also this is very quick and messy, sorry.)

[masterthespianduchovny]

Steve, Bucky, and Peggy: The Love Triangle that Isn’t

There is a popular narrative among a certain crowd that Steggy only happened so Steve isn’t perceived as gay or having feelings for Bucky. And maaaaaybe this is true, but honestly, I don’t agree.

Peggy was supposed to be the great love of Steve’s life that never got to happen due to circumstance. And then comes along Sharon who is supposed to be his great next love. But, what happened is that not that many people were interested and, funny enough, more were drawn to Steve’s reaction about Peggy—him visiting her and her later dying than they actually have a fuck about Staron or whatever the ships name is.

Coincidentally, this is the SAME movie that Bucky as winter soldier is reintroduced in. The movie where they try to establish a new romantic relationship for Cap and have us met the new Bucky, which the former isn’t Bucky.

What happened is this: fans essentially completely rejected Sharon and salivated for Bucky and this devotion Steve had towards him. It was a shipper’s dream the way Steve behaved. BUT, Steve and Bucky was never on the menu and it was never teased canonically.

I cannot say if the actors or those connected to the MCU queerbaited fans, but actors and connected employees have the habit of trying to be supportive of fans and ships by entertaining things they aren’t necessarily invested in or care about all that much. Some of that is because they appreciate the fans enthusiasm and the other part is it being apart of the job to have enthusiastic fans.

It reminds me how how John Boyega supported two/three ships on Star Wars, but it wasn’t necessarily because he was a shipper himself. The only actor in the current series who seems like an actual shopper is the one who plays Poe.

So, after they got rid of Sharon in the third cap “movie”, they had to figure out what to do about his love interest. Again, the only significant and canonical one people gravitated to was Peggy, but she was dead. BUT, there was also a consistent thread about Cap’s feelings for her. Almost every movie that desires cap prominently has some small scene or moment that references her.

So, for people to act like Peggy was Sharon is dishonest. Or how they want to act like Peggy was some random girl. Peggy met Steve before he was cap—I know, I know, Bucky did too—but, this is important because it sets up their relationship about how she cared for him and took him seriously as a person even then. Her feelings grew romantic as did his, but their feelings was based on friendship and their mutual respect for one another. Peggy also helped Steve to defy orders to do what he felt was right, so they share values as well. I believe all this happened over a span of two years.

When she is in the hospital Steve regularly visits her and is distraught when she dies. His behavior is a call back to that old fashioned romanticized love in which one half of a spouse is loyal, dedicated, and (always) by their beside. Despite Steve still having g his youth and presumably young, interested women clamoring for him, he is devoted to Peggy and takes time out of his week to visit her. When she dies, he’s even her pallbearer.

This behavior is more than “a connection to the past.” I guess since it’s muted and not fighting to save someone you care about at all cost, it doesn’t read a love or romantic.

But, it’s clearly established that Steve’s love has never faded and even though he has young women interested in him, he’d rather sit by the side of his 90 year old (former) love.

We even see him carrying a locket with her picture in it as well. The MCU has gone out of its way to show how very real Steve’s feelings are.

Enter in Bucky.

When we first meet Bucky, we see he’s the best friend of Steve. The charming ladies man who exudes confidence. He looks out for Steve, esp because Steve likes to get up for trouble when standing up for his values. Yet, neither Steve nor Bucky are particularly attached to one another—meaning to subtext of homoeroticism that speaks to deeper feelings known or unknown.

We could argue that Steve’s feelings became prominences, but not known to him, when he saw Bucky again, but I’ll continue to lay out for my reasoning for not believing that.

Winter soldier sets for the foundation of how captain American went from a loyal patriot to questioning and distrusting his government. Despite his camaraderie with the avengers, he still feels alone and like a man out of time. He leans on his patriotism to get him through this totally unique and indescribable experience. But, I’m the second movie, he’s on the run from that very same government and is finding out about their secrets and lies.

During this time he runs into Bucky, his best friend who he thought died.

We must keep in mind that Cap’s two direct connections to the past in this moment are both Peggy and Bucky. We see his loyalty to Peggy due to reasons I mentioned, but there is another factor going on with Bucky: it’s him, but it’s NOT him.

It was completely disorienting for Cap to see a man who was supposed to be dead and in his 90s looking youthful and a unrelenting killer. There was no way they was the Bucky Cap knew. Cap has to get to the bottom of what happened to Bucky and, later, avenge his friend. His autonomy and agency was violated, he was experimented on, and brought back to life to be a trained killer.

Of course Steve feels that deeply, especially because he underwent a similar experiment, but willingly and retained his agency and independence. But, it’s also about corrupting the past for Steve. The way the government manipulates and pushes things forth for the agenda. There’s levels to this.

Then, when Bucky saved Steve, and then disappeared, Steve was largely fine, but concerned about Bucky. And why wouldn’t he be? Bucky almost killed him, saved him, and then left—he doesn’t know how Bucky is dealing and coping with what happened to him. How could he know?

Steve fighting and protecting Bucky in his third movie and, eventually, fighting against Tony is about how we shouldn’t punish an exploited person for something that were manipulated into doing. And how they’re being used as patsy’s to shift blame. Bucky was a victim in the second and third movie. Bucky needed someone to stand up for and advocate for him, which only Steve did.

I mean, did Bucky deserve to die for something he had no choice over? Or imprisoned?

That doesn’t mean that they couldn’t have been two men in love, but once Cap knows he’s safe and protected—meaning, he’s allowed to make a “full” mental and emotional recovery without further exploitation—Cap doesn’t worry or obsess over Bucky. Bucky was on the way to regaining agency and independence and that’s all that cap wanted.

Once Bucky looks happy and healthy when they see each other again, cap goes to treated him like he did in first avenger.

And I fill that this must be pointed out: some friends do go above and beyond for people who 1. Have mental illnesses, no systems in place to assist them, and no advocates other than them 2. Someone who has been harmed/manipulated/exploited, is triggered, and potentially down spiraling. 3. PTSD.

Steve is being a damn good friend and advocate to/for Bucky.

With that being said, some don’t feel that stucky was going to be canon, but that the MCU went out of its way to prove Steve was straight. As a reminder, the Steve and Peggy thread has been CONSISTENT since day one. Since Sharon failed, they wanted to find a love interest for Steve’s endgame, no pun intended. Personally, I think that they went Natasha/Steve because Natasha/Bruce doesn’t work. I understand Natasha and Steve has a great friendship for the “why can’t men and women be friends” crowd, but Natasha also has other male friends, sooo....

To use Star Wars as an example again, this isn’t Poe and Keri Russell’s character who exists solely to prove Poe is STRAIGHT.

Peggy was never created to be someone who existed to prove Steve’s sexuality, but she was someone he was in love with and never stopped loving. She was someone that we knew Steve loved deeply and could never get over.

I know people feel that Steve going back undermines his values both in the comics and the series, which I fee is valid. But, honestly, Steve has spent a good chunk of protecting others and putting his life on the line. We see many of the other avengers be in relationships, have families, and overall fulling lives and Steve just has the avengers.

Which isn’t a bad thing in and of itself, but he’s allowed to want more than that. His life shouldn’t be dictated by if he can be of service to others.

Steve didn’t “abandon” anyone. Most of the avengers are adults who don’t need Steve. He may have been the leader, but anyone in the group can be the leader. There are other heroes.

And Bucky doesn’t need him.

Bucky understand all that cap went through and sacrificed. He doesn’t need cap to always near and hold his hand. That’s not how friendships work. That’s not how families work or, at least, healthy ones.

I’m fine with people who ship stucky, but this animosity against Steggy and Peggy is ridiculous. No movie or show owes you an open ending so you can ship who you want. From what I can recall, there was no canonical queerbaiting (I believe Chris Evans supported both ships, but I think Steggy more). And Peggy isn’t some random woman or a woman he knew for three seconds, she was important to him and their relationship meaningful to him for the rest of his life.

[popculturebuffet]

Reviewcaps: X-Men Evolution: Strategy X

I take my first look at X-Men Evolution the second and less famous, but no less loved, cartoon about everyones faviorite mutant outcasts. In our first episode Scott blows up a gas station, Nightcrawler finds what it feels like to have a home, Toad tries to join the x-men and both of the latter two end up nearly dying because Chuck forgot to teleport proof the one room in the house with deadly lasers. All this and football under the cut. 

A few days ago I realized something weird: I hadn’t reviewed any superhero cartoons on here. What makes that weird to me, is that I realized when writing this that Superhero cartoons are what MADE me a superhero fan in the first place. I grew up as a little kid watching the spider-man and x-men animated series, and watched most marvel shows that came about as I grew, and became a lifelong fan of Green Lantern and the Flash thanks to Justice League , the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles thanks to the 2003 cartoon (another franchise I absolutley adore I haven’t covered on here for some reason) and the Teen Titans thanks to well.. Teen Titans, not to mention all the great original superhero shows at the time like the legendary Danny Phantom (even if butch heartman can take a short walk into a cave full of bears lately), My Life as a Teenage Robot, El Tigre.. the list of good shit goes on. So being on an X-Men kick again lately, I decided to revisit what turned out to be one of the first of this wave, and a show I’d had the opporoutnity to binge for a while , first on hulu and then on D+, and wanted to revisit to see how it holds up, while, if not as fast as I watch them, reviewing them here to combine my two intrests. And it probably wont’ be the last marvel animated series I binge or cover here, nor the last superhero show I cover so if you have any, Marvel, DC, from other companies or completely original, shoot me an ask or reply to this and i’ll see if I can get to it. For now we’re starting the evolution.  Evolution was the first X-Men cartoon, and somehow one of 5 overall not counting the hulk vs wolverine movie, pryde of the x-men pilot and various crossover apperances in other cartoons, to follow the 90′s one, which as you probably know was a huge hit that defined the x-men for a generation of young fans, was a huge sucess and launched the mostly great sorta shared cartoon universe with classics like Spider-Man the Animated Series (Which not concidentally is what made me a lifelong fan of the webslinger), The Incredible Hulk, and the second season of Iron Man and Fantastic Four.. and yes only the second as the first seasons were both by entirely diffrent creative teams and gave us things like this. 

Yes that is Johnny Storm doing an objetivley terrible hip hop song, no it dind’t cause that building to sink into the earth, and yes it is so bad it’s delcioius. Sadly the rest of hte series is more flat and boring than “bwahahahaha” but my point is made. The point is Evolution had a steep hill to climb, and with the previous cartoon compressing most of the decades long Chris Claremont era and some of what came after into 5 seasons of good if cheesy stuff, the creators clearly, if only because Ic an’t find a making of, decided to go in a diffrent route, making their own unique take on the characters and world of the x-men instead.  For starters rather than being vetrans with years of experince, either from being an x-man or just from general life experince like the comics were since the 70′s aside from the ocasinal exception like Kitty Pryde and Jubilee, they’d be teens, grappling with hormones alongside blue fur, head lasers and not being able to touch anyone. This wasn’t something x-men had shied away from, New Mutants and Generation X existed, but it was the first time in decades the X-Men themselves were kids. Sure Storm and Wolverine weren’t aged down, but there were just as many missions that were just these teenagers hoping to surivive the experince and keep mutants a secret till the world was ready.. and then dealing with the fallout when an unready and hateful world found out anyway. And I honeslty like the direction: The previous series had done the mostly straight adaptation bit, there wasn’t anywhere to go and aging scott and jean back to teens, and having nightcrawler and rouge get to be ones for the first time though, was an intresting idea, as was having Kitty Pryde be a teen alongside them instead of their plucky teenage member  Another intresting direction was, while Xavier’s still existed and was where the cast lived and learned to use their powers, the X-Men also went to regular high school. While it’d take till season 3 for them to actually have to deal with being out mutants in the setting, it was still an intresting tactic: The X-school in the comics, while no less studious is still an isoalted boarding school and when the New Mutants met some friends in town, most had only heard whispers about the old Xavier Mansion and were delighted to visit for a slumber party.. granted this being an x-men schindig our heroes ended up having to deal with an alien who eventually became one of their closest friends that night but still, for the x-men having the robot, or technoorganic in this case, NOT try to murder them on purpose and be a loveable 80′s sidekick instead is an easy night. While i’ts not done perfectly here from what I can remember, the main human characters we see are nightcrawlers love intrest amanda (who is thankfully NOT his adopted sister this time around thank christ), local stock blond football bully and flash thompson impersonator Duncan, and Scott’s nondiscript friend paul, who I can’t think of without thinking two things; one , what do you WANT paul: 

I mean a man so vauge just can’t be trusted. The second is that paul looks a lot like Doug Ramsey and i’m suprised they didn’t just.. make him Doug and have him go through a similar arc from the comics:A crush on kitty and the rest of the team finding out he’s a mutant and eventually bringing him into their world. For those unaware Doug Ramsey is a mutant with the ablility to translate any languge, including computer code from the get go and body laungage when he came back, an easy fix to him being the non-combatant of the group no one thought of, who died tragically in story sacrifcing himself to save his girlfriend’s life and out of story because the artist tricked the writer into killing him off. Thankfully he did come back about two decades later, took a level in badass thanks to a combination of the body language thing above meaning he could anticipate moves and dodge and computers having advanced to the point that part of his powers was now 80 times more useful, and has recently become a key part of the dawn of x relaunch. He’s also a faviorite of mine as you can probably tell and given how much the early 2000′s loved their computers, it’s weird to me they didn’t think of this and it’s even weirder he didn’t show up with the lions share of the other new mutants next season, along with Karma and Warlock which somehow has become a recurring theme thanks to the movie saving them for sequels that ended up not happening because fox stupidly put the movie in Limbo where it remains until maybe next month.  But yeah even if muted a bit the idea of the x-men going to a public school alongside their training is a decent one.. sure a hero going through high school is again a cliche, but it’s a thing the x-men hadn’t done in this way before or sense, and was intresting to see in action. Most high school scnees in x-comics are usually some poor mutant having their powers manifest and either hurting someone by accident, being treated like crap for it by their class or hunted down for accidently hurting someone before the x-men show up to kick their asses and welcome this youngster. Or getting rejected by family and friends then coming to the x-men.. there’s a lot of angst directions to go in. My point is we’d never seen the x-men try to blend in and have a more standard school experince, and combining that with them hiding their powers instead of being out in the open at first made for a unique dynamic for the x-men that makes well tread ground nice nad fresh even 20 years later. 

So that’s our basic setup going in: The X-men wake up, go to school, then save the world or train to save the world while harnesing wonderful and dangerous powers and protecting the helpless agaist less charitable mutants. The basic x-setup with a 2000′s era superhero high school show flavor. Good stuff. But we’ll see what it does with this premise, how good it holds up and what’s still delightfuly cheesy about it as I take a nice look at the first episode Strategy X

We open at night and

Yup Scott and Jean are at the football team where the aforementioned Duncan, guy voted most likely to peak in high school in last year’s yearbook poll, is playing some foot ball and trying to flit with Jean Grey whose the first X-Man we meet and is somehow receptive to this despite his radaiating douche and is lucky this Jean’ , unlike say the time transfered one from the comics who thought the best approach to helping Bobby Drake come out of the closet so he could help his older self do the same and be his best self, was to just blunty say he’s gay and refuse to let him explore thtt for himself or get someone more quliafied to help her. And yes that did indeed happen and yes the original x-men were brought into the present for a while and yes it was weird Moving on. Still i’m pretty sure duncan’s thoughts would read like  “Man she looks good.. I want to bang her so hard she uh.. wakes up sideways.. yeah that’s it. Your a legend duncan, a total legend. “.  As you can probably tell I don’t have fond memories of this character or this sorta but not really love triangle, and question why they couldn’t of just had spyke be the other man in the triangle if they wanted to do this. Granted Spyke himself is kinda annoying, but it still makes more sense to have him fill in for angel or wolverine in a jean-scott love triangle than this walking burnt end. The warren, scott one worked, as much as a 60′s love triangle could because warren was conventionally handsome and had angel wings while scott has to keep glasses on just to not murder anyone he looks at, so there’s a bit of contrast there, while with WOlverine it’s straight laced dependeble scott versus unhinged manly man Logan. You know before recently where they just decided to all bone in a pile and wolverine even goes on vacation with them. And that’s not a joke I made up, that’s actual canon. Both make logical sense while Jean would be intrested in both in the former case, as Scott was still a kind and dependable leader, and tempted in the latter case if never acting on it before recently and with her husband’s full consent and either watching from the closet or taking one up the ass for jean to watch. Duncan in contrast is just wholly unlikeable and it makes me question why use him as the third in this love triangle, ESPECIALLY since the show would later introduce another scott and jean based love triangle with Rogue wanting scott that’s way more intresting, and even people wanting those two to hook up don’t want Jean with Duncan! Instead of creating a vitable alternative to make a later love triangle more intresting or create some shipping wars or anything of value any hint jean may be intrested just wastes screentime and tests my patience and is thankfully breif here.  As for why Jean’s here sh’es taking pictures for the school paper since the Daily Bugle wasn’t intrested in photos that weren’t of spider-man and they already had a teen photographer for that. Porker or something. Anyways this episode ofa low rent friday night lights knockoff is interuptted when one of duncan’s buddies on the team spots local trouble maker and ,judging by context, bully punching bag Todd Tolansky, aka Toad which is a cruel nickname turned slightly lesss cruel code name here, pick pocketing the people in the stands, and sensing a flimsy context to punch a nerd, Duncan goes to tell the coah he’ll be busy for a moment totally not carving someone’s face in again. Coach says as long as he leaves him breathing, and through a straw still counts and since their so far ahead as long as he’s back for the celebratory rampage anything goes.  Also spotting Toad’s stan pines approved sticky fingers is Scott Summers, leader of x-men and all around cool guy. Scott here is a bit more emotive than he was int he comics at a time, a trait he’d have later on in the late 2000′s and even currently and a version I prefer to the “has something shoved so far up his ass you can see it when he opens his mouth” boring straightman of the 90′s cartoon. He’s a bit more impulsive, a bit more emotivie but still a good and well thought out leader and the tactical genius, at least as far as I can remember, that he’s known for being. IT’s a good portayal so far, it reminds me of 2k12 leonardo: he’s still growing into being a leader in some way but clearly has the talent and drive for it and a deep sense of heroism> That deep sense is shown here as Scott leaves to go confront toad.. and then confronts Duncan and buds when he finds them about to squish Toad. Unlike Duncan, whose “heroism” consits of a filmy excuse to beat a third hole into todd’s head, Scott wanted to stop Toad because it’s the right thing to do, and wants to stop Duncan because his actions are just as wrong: Sure Toad is stealing stuff, but it’s clear from the way he and his buddies grin widlly at seieng toad pick pocket that they just want an excuse to pummel the kid and not get in trouble for it. It’s confirmed when Scott makes a resonable offer: Since Toad still has the money and most of the lifted wallets, he can return what he stole, which Toad not wanting to die today agrees to, but Duncan refuses. Scott however gets the three thrown to the ground and while Toad escapes, with the two other idiots in persuit, an enraged duncan attacks. But since Scott Summers, even teen scott summers has batman level judo, it’s an even fight despite Duncan being bigger and more muscular.. until Jean runs in shouts scott no.. despite you know Duncan starting this and Scott merley defending himself, distracts Scott long enough for him to get shoved to the ground.. and loose his googles, sending an optic blast out before he can clamp his eyes shut, knocking duncan over and igniting a nearbye propane tank. Toasty! Also yikes.  Cue the opening theme and credits. While the opening Creidts are very 2000′s, they aren’t half bad but the main draw is the theme song which.. honestly I feel is great and very close to the 90′s x-men theme in quality, only not being AS good because that one’s one of the best theme songs period. but this one’s no slouch as it’s fun, energetic and will get stuck in your head. Good stuff.  After the theme we cut back to the credits where Scott is closing his eyes despeartly holding his powers in. It was a good opening and a great way to show off the premise of the show and just how dangerous mutant powers can be even accidnetally, with this followup showing it’s not inetentional. it was even shown before as while scott’s eyes flash, he notably never uses his powers in the fight and they only came about accidnetally. We also get some JeanScott ship tease as she finds his glasses ,and with Duncan having a concusion and not remembering anything, a bit that hasn’t aged well, things seem well.. except the cop seems to notice something supscious.. before help arrives in a rolls royce. Charles Xavier, voiced by the icomprable David Kaye who I feel is one of the best daviers and does a great job here and quickly makes the guy see nothing supscious, a classic use of his powers and an understdanable one: while yea going into someone’s mind isn’t a great tihng to do.. scott being possibly outed as a mutant this way would only land the poor boy in a jail cell, as it did for Bobby Drake in the comics when his own powers activated and hurt someone. We also meet storm who unlike the others isn’ aged downa nd is one of two senior staffers for the school, a touch I like as she was a great mentor figure to kitty pryde and the comics and the roll suits her, while evolution also tones down the ham 80 degrees so she’s even more like the comics; reserved but utterly confident and badass and a good #2 to xavier. Xavier also likely wiped Duncan’s memory of scott’s power triggering I figure.. I mean he could’ve got concussed but I wouldn’t be suprised if chuck manipualted that too. Jean comforts Duncan for.. again some reason. Like he was just in a fight with her best friend and she’s a telepath.. I get she’s being respectful but time and place. Scott is naturally Jelly, but Toad.. genuinely thanks Scott for the help while Scott brushes it off. It was the right thing to do and Toad is still a creep, but it’s still a nice gesture. Also toad eats a fly to show that yep he too is  a mutant.  Xavier and Storm go to the train station and pick up a mysterious teen clad all in robes. Ohohoo hominus.  Meanwhile somewhere in the westchester area, Wolverine comes in! Snkity sknikty snoik. He’s voiced by, and dresses exactly like, Scott McNeil, a vetran and awesome voice actor who I honestly think does a better job than his prdecessor. Not that 90′s wolverine is bad, it’s just McNeil has more of a range even while keeping the gutteral growl of hte former and can tur it off at times while his previous acto rwas pretty much on snarl mode constantly. He wasn’t bad, all the 90′s voice actors were at 100 most of the time and undersndably given the hamm nature of that cartoon, but its’ still a ncie change of pace and one we’d see again with steve blum in the next cartoon. More on that obviously when i inevitably cover Wolverine and the X-Men He picks up a paper about the explosion, and sensing he must go his people need him, cuts the top off the water he ordered, because you can’t get beer on a childrens cartoon, and thanks the clerk who wonders what the fuck just happened. And it’s a weird ass scene especially because in this series the x-men are trying to keep a lid on mutants and Logan’s just .. causally cutting off a water bottle because fuck it. It fits the character a LITTLE but it’s still just weird and out of place. Speaking of weird and out of place sabertooth is stalking logan on a mountaintop because.. 

Thank you wrestlecrap. He dosen’t show up again and is apparently introduced several episodes from now, and sports a design similar to the 2000 movie which isn’t a terrible look apart from the long lead singer from Creed haircut. The next morning at Xavier’s scott’s annoyed at jean taking her time in the bathroom because “women amirite?”.. yeah... 

On that gag. Before the two dart off for school Xavier calls them in to meet the new kid: Kurt Wagner, aka Nightcrawler, whose blue and fuzzy as ever, though without the fully yellow eyes he usually sports, though I figure it’s less because they wanted to make him more humanoid, though his Kelso from that 70′s show hair certainly helps with that too, and more because that way his human disguise he’ll get in a bit can just be an easily just recolor and redres his civlilan design. Though why he couldn’t just have the yellow eyes in elf form and give him regular ones in transducer form, epsecially since they had to make a whole new outfit and ears for his non elf form anyway is beyond me, but whatever. At least he’s a full part of the team here and oh so adorkable.  As you can probably wager by the fact there’s only 3 x-men and one asshole here, Evolution takes it’s time introducing everybody, the first few episodes using the debut queue style of storytelling and introducing the main cast about one or two per episode.. which I like a lot as it gives each of the x-men room to breathe and get a proper introduction, while usually doing the same for the latest addition to the brotherhood. IT’s a godo way to ease us into a decently sized main cast and let each get their own origin story of sorts. Good stuff. 

Jean and Scott are shocked by the poor boys three fingers, but Charles helps asuage kurt.. by pointing out scott’s fuckup then berating him. Both don’t come off great: Scot whines about having two cannonballs under his eyes, which while fair is something he knew going into a situation where they might get knocked off and didn’t prepare for, while Charles lambasts him for “not having more control”.. and his tone implies it’s more about his POWERS. If it was about self control fine, that’d be godo character stuff but if it’s of his powers..  Scott didn’t use his powers at all during the breif scuffle and was only let loose by pure shock, and something you easily covered for minus the explosion part. It could just be both having a point but I dunno. But with that Xavier does show kurt that even human passing mutants like Scott have huge struggles and he no longer is alone. Jean is curious what his power is and Kurt demonstrates his teleporting, impressing both and bonding the three a bit. Xavier sends them off to school, and they’ll talk more about kurt tonight.  At school Toad is getting dressed down by principle darkholme, aka mistque whose apparently also his boss.. yes while the founding x-men are two upstanding well trained, if one a bit hot headed youths, Mystque got.. a guy who pick pockets because as we later see the house she got for them looks like the ghosts of the frat who used to live there did a number on the place. Yeah easy to see why your guys later become the comic relief villians Raven. Anyways she plans to have Toad use his newfound leverage with scott to try and sneak in with the x-men before shapeshifting into a knockoff brood to scare him because she’s a dick. Also how the hell would she explain that if someone walked in and DIDN’T comically walk right back out and just explose her posing as a monster for the student body to see. Not a bad show of her powers but a really goofy and nonsenical one. Also yeah unlike the comics raven can change her shape further than just humanoid.

Back at the school Kurt is excited to see his spacious and luxrious room, his parents, whoever they were, having sent him here, and is even more excited when Xavier gives him a gift; an image inducer. This is something that actually comes from the comic: it’s a device disgused as a watch that holographically makes Kurt look like your standard human. Kurt in the comics of course used it to look like errol flynn.  Naturally Chris Claremont eventually realized the implications of a person of a minority who looks diffrent masquerading as someone else to blend in and Kurt later decided to go without it, as he shoudln’t have to hide himself. Evolution does use it better though: For starters when Kurt says he’s finally normal, Ororo assures him he always was, this is just to help a bit and the idea of him needing to blend in makes sense since the x-kids are going to public high school and mutantkind is more hidden to avoid prosecution. It’s sitll a BIT shaky, but it’s at least trying to avoid a lot of the pitfalls of the concept and modernizie it a bit and I can give them credit for that. 

Back at School scott’s preparing to lunch, telling paul to save him a seat. Good old Paul, when Toad comes up to him thanking him again and revealing his own mutant powers and stealing Scott’s glasses because that’s how you charm someone. Toad offers to hang but Scott wisely refuses and moves on though he does use the cafeteria pay phone to call Charles, who already found out about todd via Cerebro and despite Scott’s understandable reservations about letting a literally slimy pick pocket who talks like goddamn j-roc , know what i’m sayin, into the team, Charles in a very charles xavier move says they can’t turn their back on ANY mutant, even the assholes. Now read that in a patrick stewart voice. Your welcome. Scott wonders if he should ask Todd over to play fooseball and ask about joining his teen militia but Chalres said no need, he’ll take care of the audition himself. He then explains Cerebro to a curious kurt, global telepathic mutant tracker basically, and prepares for the audition. 

That night Toad goes to the mansion.. with a costume already. And rather than evaluate all the costumes up front i’m going to do so as they show up in series. As such.. toad’s is REALLY good, a nice armor look with a small part peaking up resembling a collar of some sort , a nice update of his silver age costume’s collar. It really feels frog like and really is neat. Storm, who is watering her garden a detail I like, heads out and rains on his parade. Her costume is fine, a standard storm outfit, nothing really outstanding but still not bad. Storm then sends lighting at him to see what happens when a Toad is struck by lighting.. probably the same as everything else before he runs inside and runs into kurt. 

Kurt then shows up, and while I’d forgottten this, he was already in costume from earlier having gotten his at the same time as the inducer. His costume.. is about the same as the comics except hte gloves and boots are yellow, i’m somehwat eh on it but I get doing so to have him fit with the black and yellow color scheme of most of the other x-men in some way. Though i’d love to see a black and yellow redesign of his classic oufit someday that’d look spiffy. But yeah it’s pretty good and one of the standouts of the evolution costumes. The two trade barbs thanks to toad being kind of a dick about nightcrawler and end up having a petty squabble and tussle for a bit around the mansion. Xavier still considers Toad x-men material while Storm considers not missing with lightning this time. In all seriousnes this is more good character stuff for Charles, as it shows that no matter how troublesome, he’ll welcome any mutant child in with open arms. Though I question why neither questions the fact that a mutant they just met somehow brought his own top of the line uniform, but I chalk it up to that probably not having been written into the episode and either being an error or execs wnating to show off his battle suit to have a proper superhero tussle to close out the episode.  However said tussle, which is really more a hilarious fight between an asshole and a dork, is interupted when Kurt accidnetly ports them into the danger room, an x-men staple.. no really “new mutant accidently enters or finds the danger room” is old hat at this point, most iconically with Kitty in the comics shortly after she joined. 

Naturally not wanting to have to clean up another set of teen corpses, he just got the Vulcan smell out of there, Xavier dispatches Cyclops and Jean to go deal with it.. since Jean dosen’t have a code name here since marvel forgets to try and get her a non phonenix one better than marvel girl and it annoys me. Anyways fashion show time again, and yes i’m aware these aren’t from strategy x, but I didn’t want to just use hte model sheet shots from the wiki so I combed for decent action shots. Scotty’s costume is decent, a bit bulky with the very 90′s shoulder pads and boots, but otherwise looks pretty good, a nice combination of his 90′s uniform and his second x-factor uniform. Even with the bulk it looks really good. On the oppsite end.. we have Jean, who easily has the worst outfit of the main x-men by a mile, with a weird lime green stripe for some reason. Maybe they were going for phonenix colors I dunno, but it just looks half assed in comparison to the rest of the gangs outfit. The gold rings and fingerless gloves are a nice touch, but this one’s still just bland in comparison. Like they couldn’t figure out how to update jeans 90′s outfit so they put her in a jassercise outfit instead. 

Scott and Jean arrive with Jean saving nightcrawler, Kurt asking if sh’es an angel, she asking if he’s a demon and me asking if I can get a trashcan to vomit in. It didn’t work for George Lucas a year before this why did you think it’d work here? Anyways Kurt realizes their not in xavier’s snuff dungeon, as far as he knows and it’s simply a trianing room and tries to disarm it, but it instead nearly blasts toad who nopes outta htere, scott too injured to follow. And while when watching the episode yesterday It hought it was a bit abrubt.. it really fits. Toad is a bit of a coward from memory, bosatful and cocky.. till reality reminds him he’s freaking toad as seen with the bullies earlier and mystique after that. So of course he’d run the minute things looked dicey and it looked like xavier reguarlly put his students through the hunger games to thint he herd. Xavier bemoans that Toad simply isn’t ready.. sure he’s a mutant and xavier likely senses mistque’s involement.. but he genuilly WANTED to help todd and give him a real home and support.. its just Toad/Todd dosen’t WANT it or to put in any real work to be better, and you have to WANT help to get it.  Kurt blames himself and ports out feeling he dosen’t deserve to be there and Scott goes after him while out front Toad runs into a returning Logan, whose ready to add another dead teen to the pile out back when Xavier insists he let him go... he’s not an actual threat, and as we find out later Xavier removed the schools location from his mind and probably gave it to toad in the first place, so while Logan says he’ll be back.. he has no way of coming back and there’s no sense roughing up a teenager, when that’d just draw more attention to them and give Toad an angle to work. That being said Charlie still gladly welcomes Logan back though both smell trouble on the horizon.. and also toad. He tends to leave a scent that one. 

We then get what I feel is the best scene in the episode: Cyclops finds Kurt in the room with the blackbird, which this show remembers is an actual type of plane and that the x-mens is simply a souped up version of , though I can’t tell you what version he’s saying it’s superior to because I don’t know planes THAT well. But Scott comforts Kurt, saying it’s OKAY to fuck up: the entire point of this place is so they can afford to make the mistakes they can’t make out there and learn and grow as people. Everyone screws up, as Scott himself did rushing in without a plan at the start, but the point is you learn from it and do better next time and Kurt decides to stay. Welcome to the X-Men Kurt, hope you surivive the experince. Also Scott decides to show him where they hide the sodas.. which either Chuck is a dick about their pop or that’s code for booze.. or possibly both. I could see Logan really liking root beer alongisde his nightly 6 pack. 

We close out with Mystque berating toad for running the hell away and for you know, getting mindwiped.. the latter is far from his fault, but the first part.. yeah Toad kinda sucks at this and Raven screams for him to get out, with her turning back into her natural form for the first time.. and then being confronted with HER boss with Magneto, from.. somewhere.. he appearas as a spooky projection but I don’t know if he’s using a device to amplfy himself or he just hides in the closet of her office all day for when he needs to consult her on their evil schemes. Probably the latter. Anyways Erik wisely consults her to be a bit easier..while toad is a bit of a dipweasel.. they can’t afford their ranks being thinned.. and really he’s not wrong. The x-men currently have them 6 to 3. Even if he’s the weakest of the three of them, they can’t afford to spare him. He then ominously says htis is only... THE BEGINING.

FINAL THOUGHTS:  Strategy X is a decent start for the series but not without it’s problems, with one or two questionsable moments like the whole angel and devil exhcange or the entire “Storm stalks toad as he goes to the mansion” scene as a way of testing him, which makes both her and charles come off bad and makes me wonder how the hell that was an actual test of anything. But it’s held up by good character: While Jeans kind of a bit of wallpaper here, the rest of the x-men and our three villians are all given great character moments that show them off to the audience well and really show the writers get the characters while taking their own spins on the younger ones: Nightcrawler, who could be a bit of a dork in the comics, see here his seduction tequnique. 

I mean damn if that shit isn’t still Sexy but still. They just ramped it up a bit since this version is younger and more naive, while Scott is likewise a bit more rambunctious and likely to question Xavier, while still being a good hearted guy who knows how to lead. It’s good stuff. While the quality isn’t PERFECT, it’s a good start and I look forward to watching more and EVENTUALLY reviewing more on here. If you liked this be sure to let me know and like I said above if there’s any other marvel show or any dc ones you want me to cover, and any specific episodes at that, lemme know. Comics too. And until we meet again, courage.  PS.. what the hell is up with the title of this episode? No really it has nothing to do with anything. Is it Mystuues’ inflitration plan? 

[babygirlgalitzine]

with the exception of you i dislike everyone in the room (ao3)

one.

The first time either of them felt it was their first kiss. Despite it being June, the normal warmth of summer nights hadn't quite arrived yet, and so there was a slight nip in the air - but that wasn't the only thing causing goose bumps to appear on the skin of Ben and Callum. This wasn't meant to happen. Callum wasn't supposed to be kissing anyone other than Whitney, least of all a man, but it just felt right. It felt natural, and felt right. It was as though the two of them moulded into each other, as though they were made to share this moment. From the second Ben practically cradled Callum's face, a shiver coursed down his spine, the tingling sensation causing his cheeks to flush a pink colour, and Callum was grateful that it was dark outside and the likelihood of Ben seeing his blushed cheeks was slim - but he probably could feel it.

When their lips finally slotted together it was evident that every moment leading up to this was worth it. Every sarcastic comment, every longing stare: it all culminated into this one secret rendezvous and the stars aligned in their eyes. Moans from Callum invaded Ben's ears and mind and it made him want Callum even more, pulling their bodies ever closer as they rushed to expose even more skin. The fact that they were in a public park and could be caught at any moment didn't even occur to either of them, and to be honest, neither of them would have really cared because all that mattered as they shared their first together was each other.

Ben's fingers ran through Callum's hair, with Callum instinctively groaning out Ben's name, unable to keep his hands off his body.

A symphony of 'this should not be happening' rushed through Callum's brain, but as quick as he thought that, he pushed it to the back of his mind because there was something in him that made him physically incapable of pushing Ben off of him. It was as though some magnetic force propelled them together and it just worked. Ben smiled into the kiss, allowing Callum to make all the first moves, and he swore that he hadn't felt like this in so long. It was a scary thought to comprehend, but as Callum's lips left Ben's own to move to his neck, soft, short moans fumbling out, all Ben could think about was how he somehow knew he could grow to love Callum.

two.

Ben was brooding. Ever since that night he and Callum shared together, he secretly longed to spend more time with him, but he couldn't. All he could do was drown his sorrows in several pint glasses and different faceless men from his app. But neither of those men were Callum, nor could they ever compare.

He thought he could get over him, just like he did with everyone else. It was just a one night stand, it didn't mean anything - but that was far from the truth. It just made matters worse that Callum had now proposed to Whitney, and instead of Ben spending the time he wanted with Callum, it was as though nothing had ever even happened between the pair of them as Callum wrapped his arms around Whitney, both of them planning their wedding. It was all a big farce, and Ben wanted nothing of it. The problem was, he couldn't keep his eyes off of Callum. To an outsider, who didn't know his darkest secret, he just looked like a newly engaged, ecstatic man, but to Ben he just looked lost and empty. It just made Ben want him all the more.

With every hug Ben witnessed, he winced and forced himself to look away as his heart shattered that little bit more. He wasn't even sure why, but he just wanted Callum in every way available to him, but he knew that it was near impossible now. He couldn't out him, he wouldn't do that to Callum. It was just a waiting game now, to see if Callum would actually go through with the wedding. Ben hoped he wouldn't, because it was breaking the both of them already. All he could hear was the wedding plans, Whitney gushing about all her initial plans and Callum humming in acceptance. Ben had to bite his tongue to stop him from mentioning her failed marriage to Lee and that he hopes this one actually works out.

A feeling of sinking deep in the pit of his stomach overtook his body, and he breathed heavily. Maybe Callum really was happy with Whitney. Ben wanted to make him happy though, he's sure he could.

three.

Callum was only supposed to get a cup of tea and a full English, but Ben clearly had other ideas. Not that he realised it. Walford was only a small place, they were bound to bump into each other most days, but Callum wasn't expecting to be faced with Ben eating his breakfast in the cafe with Lexi in his lap, her reading him a story whilst eating toast. It looked so domestic, and Callum couldn't help but smile.

Ben didn't even notice that Callum was there, let only looking at the two of them sharing their morning together - and also apparently breakfast, considering Ben had what seemed to be the nutella from Lexi's toast smeared over his cheeks.

"Daddy are you listening?" She asked, and Callum couldn't help but smile wider, because he could see what Lexi couldn't. Ben was transfixed on her story, miming the more difficult of words as she stumbled over them and then grinning from ear to ear when she succeeded in saying them correctly.

"Course I am baby." He said softly. Callum swears he'd never heard Ben speak like that before. It was like Lexi had some sort of magic power over him. "Carry on, I want to hear more." Lexi resumed, and Ben couldn't take his eyes off of her. Callum, whilst eating the rest of his own breakfast, realised that Lexi had Ben's eyes, and that realisation scared him, because Callum wasn't even aware he knew what Ben's eyes looked like.

His heart fluttered, seeing this picture in front of him, Ben grinning, drinking coffee whilst Lexi did different voices to match the characters in his story. It was so domestic, so happy, and Callum wanted to be a part of their relationship. The story had ended long after Callum had finished his breakfast and his tea had long since been stone cold, and he knew Jay would be on his back about showing up to work late, but it was so worth it just to hear Lexi's giggles as Ben had cuddled and tickled her, proud as punch at how amazing his little girl was. The smile on Ben's face was worth waiting for as well. He looked so blissfully happy, and Callum had been waiting a long time to see him like that, with crinkles in the corner of his eyes as he beamed widely.

four.

Ben got his wish. The wedding didn't go ahead. As much as he loves the idea of being smug about it, he just wanted to see Callum, just to check that he was okay. He imagined it was a stressful thing, being jilted at the altar, even for a gay man who was willing to dive headfirst into a straight marriage. Ben found Callum in his bedroom, looking at Whitney's discarded pink wedding dress. He looked lost, truth be told, as though he was in a massive game of chess and he didn't know what his next move was. He just needed comforting, and that is exactly what Ben offered, opening his arms and cradling Callum.

He had the faintest hint of booze on his breath, sighing against Ben's neck as his fingers threaded through Ben's hair. They finally managed to spend some time together, just the two of them. Ben's eyes looked over Callum's body, admiring how good he actually looked in this new suit. He realised that he really did truly like Callum, and that was such a strange feeling for Ben to have, even after all these years of being 'out and proud', so to say. Ben just wanted to tell him, so that's exactly what he did.

"That's why I like ya." He admitted, shyly smiling, slightly embarrassed that he had actually admitted it, especially when Callum should be married to someone else by now if it had all gone to plan.

Callum's heart stopped beating for a second, feeling like the room was spinning. So many words and questions whizzed around his head, but his throat felt closed, halting him from speaking. He leaned forward, ready to kiss Ben, scared for what was about to come, but needing to touch him. He'd felt something like this before, and in his hearts of hearts he knew he was in love with Ben Mitchell.

five.

Blood gushed out of Ben, the claret liquid pooling around his body, seeping through to Callum's suit as he held towels to his body, trying to stop Ben from losing any more blood. Hunter was still towering over them, holding his gun out on everyone in the pub, threatening anybody who tried to speak or attempted to move. Callum was scared for his life, with the crazed lunatic merely metres away from him, but he was more scared for Ben, terrified of losing him.

He remembered his army training, and flashes of Chris and Ben ran through his mind, but he put them to one side and focused on the task at hand - saving the dying man he loved. Callum listened as Ben told him the story he had been telling Lexi, smiling as Ben managed to get through every word, hoping that every second was a second closer to Ben getting the proper help he needs. The blood covered his hands now, but he didn't care how messy it was, he just wanted Ben alive so he could tell Lexi the ending to their story himself. He couldn't stand seeing Ben hurt though, and silently promised that this would be the last time anybody ever laid a finger on Ben.

In the moment, Callum knew that people would be staring at him with Ben, probably wondering why he was getting so emotional because they weren't aware that they were friends - but he knew they were so much more than just friends. The anxiety he had over people being able to see that Callum was in love transformed into anxiety over needing to save Ben, because he wasn't about to let Ben slip away in his arms, leaving Lexi without her dad. He wanted to give his breath to Ben, to save him, and that's why he was so happy when Ben was peeled off him and carted into an ambulance. He knew he was safe then. He knew he had to tell him he loved him.

+ one.

Ben had asked for Callum the second he had woken up from his coma, apparently. Callum hadn't been there, but he wished he had. He just felt awkward being around Ben's family, with none of them really knowing him and certainly not knowing the real reason why he was so anxious waiting for Ben to come around.

Callum knocked on the door, slowly walking into the room where Ben lay on the hospital bed, several wires attached to him, but less than the last time Callum had seen him, with Ben now fully conscious and able to breathe on his own merit.

"You asked for me?" Callum quizzed, his throat suddenly dry.

Ben looked at him and smiled, looking tired but over the moon to see Callum was okay. "Yeah." Ben nodded. "Come 'ere."

Callum walked closer to him, perching on the edge of the bed, his hand out on the mattress, Ben's own only millimetres away. Ben made the first move, entwining their fingers together. It just felt natural, like they belonged. Callum lifted their hands up, and he doesn't know why, but pressed his lips to Ben's hand, before gently placing them back down together, their fingers not once separating.

"I'm glad you're awake." Callum said. "Scared me a little bit."

Ben huffed out a laugh, wincing seconds later because it hurt to do that just yet. "I'm glad I'm awake too. That's why I wanted you here, because you saved my life Cal."

Callum shrugged nonchalantly. "Just did what anyone would've. Anyway, you ruined my suit."

Ben grinned, remembering how good Callum actually looked in that light grey suit.

"So you wanted me here because I saved you?" Callum asked, noticing that Ben's thumb was now doing gentle circles on Callum's skin.

"Not really." Ben answered. "I wanted you here because I needed to tell you something."

"Go on then." Callum ushered, pulling his eyes away from their conjoined hands and to Ben's face.

"Kiss me." Ben whispered, his voice hoarse all of a sudden.

Callum didn't need telling twice. He'd wanted to do this for days, lost without Ben's lips on his. It was just like that night in the park when their lips finally touched again, goose bumps appearing on each others skin, Ben's fingers tracing through Callum's hair, Callum's hands on Ben's cheeks, noticing that his facial hair had grown a lot thicker in the time Ben had been in his coma. Callum pulled away first, realising that Ben was struggling to breathe, which the doctor had informed them was normal. "I love you." Callum whispered, only inches away from Ben's face, eyes shut. "And I'm sorry I couldn't tell you before now but I was terrified. I've known for a long time that I'm gay but I had to hide it from everyone, and the longer that went on the more scared I got - but I'm not scared anymore Ben. I love you, and I want you, no matter what anyone says."

Ben smiled, opening his eyes to see Callum staring right at him, tears welling up, making his eyes so much brighter. He leaned forward, pecking Callum's lips again. Stretching was painful, but it was so worth it to be able to taste Callum for even a second. "I love you too. I'm so ready to be with you, properly."

[migleefulmoments]

Abby, like all the MVP tinhats before her, doesn't get puns but also tinhats can't read subtext and don't understand context. Unfortunately for them, the real-life counterparts of their CC cast of character - certainly Chris and Darren - are very smart, quick witted people who enjoy playing with language and rely on their audience to get that. Tinhats like all dogmatics don't get that. They take things literally. They also don't get situational, non verbal and social cues.

Absolutely.  That is one of their biggest downfalls especially now that Chris and Darren are now longer situationally near one another. They don’t get BTS photos of Chris and Darren at work gazing lovingly near one another. The fandom is required to analyze their individual lives and try to glean out some thing CC.  They are required to analyze much more subtle and nuanced moments and they fail every time. I really miss Chris’s sharp, intelligent wit on social media.  

The cc fandom focus on such ridiculous crap and they fail to understand it. Tonight is the prefect example of this. First the “Gay icon” quote that they mistakenly took as serious. They they discussed an anon’s comment “the Al/an C interview. A says you went on a day in regards to C and it sounds like D starts to say that it was kind of our first date but only gets the firs out before he calls it a man date. It is very subtle but it is there. Do you think his team didn't notice as I'm sure it should've been edited out?” to which Abby replied “His team misses a TON and i think that entire interview was well planned and orchestrated between D and AC”. Um..seriously? You're going to hang your hat on Darren being gay because of an interview done 4 years ago in which you believe he was going to say “first date”? But my favorite is a full discussion on the photo that Darren said he detested. They are literally debating whether that comment was a full on diss of Glee and what that means about him or whether he hates all photos of himself without a shirt- cuz ya know DAPPERMAN is humble and scared of nudity, or whether he detests the photo because it was a testament to his feelings for Ryan Murphy (newsflash Abby, Darren adores Ryan Murphy) or whether detesting the pic is a statement about how he hates TSG. As per the prior anon- their analysis assumes that normal people interpret things the way they do and this is the perfect example. How they got from a dorky, douchy photo taken for the Men of Glee January calendar to it being a statement condemning TSG is insane  

Souly:

“But, you know, him saying that he hates this picture, in which he looks like a stripper, while he is at the stripclub-in-disguise, says a lot in itself. Just think about all those stripping, sorry, “burlesque” going on there, at a place he supposedly owns. Hmm..”

Flowers tried to show all of the photos of Darren without a shirt including one that is quite old -weird that she found them so quickly-and she never mentioned Hedwig. Darren doesn’t hate showing his body- DAPPERMAN does-two very different people. The photo he detests is a horrible photo- I don’t like it either. It’s douchy  and stupid and the plot line was stupid. Go read the discussion-X 

Souly also says 

I don’t think he was too excited to see such a cake topper for various reasons, but those constantly around him love it, which is what he very likely despises even more.

which I found odd.  Who is she talking about?  How would she know? They just make shit up out of thin air to seem relavent. This entire thread reminds me of Ivanka Trump at the G20 talking to the Heads of State.  

Abby adds a bunch of nonsense about “from what I understand”- she wasn’t in the fandom so whatever masterpost of nonsense she read, it steered her wrong.

[fourteenacross]

hadestown - 5/26/19, 3pm

We also saw Hadestown while we were in the city for Octet!

Sooooo, as I mentioned before, I saw Hadestown off-broadway at the NYTW in the spring of 2016. I had previously been familiar with the album, as Orpheus and Eurydice is a particular favorite myth of mine. I can't 100% remember, but I think that someone told me to listen to it when I was writing my X-Men Orpheus&Eurydice story? Either way, when we found out it was going to be playing while @pearlo was in town, we got tickets, along with @littledust and @anachronistique. And it was great!! I truly enjoyed it! I've been listening to bits of it regularly ever since! (Ish. There was like, a good eight months where all I listened to was podcasts, books, and Ghost Quartet.)

I'm saying all of this because this review is...pretty critical? And I want to make it clear that I do love this music and enjoy this show and I had a good time and I would recommend it, probably! But I wasn't as in love with the production as I was with the NYTW production for a few reasons that I'll get into below the cut.

So, usually I go song by song, but I feel like the things I have to say are largely broader than that, so I guess I'm just going to jump right in.

The cast is largely excellent. Patrick Page and Amber Gray could murder me and I'd be okay with it, tee bee aitch. Patrick Page does a thing with his face that just makes me cry, I don't know how he does it. Sorcery, probably. And Amber Gray is an actual goddess, for reals, how is she even real?

I loved Eva Noblezada's take on Eurydice! She had this sharp, broken energy to her that was truly incredible. She was like...spunky. And it was excellent.

I loved Andre De Shields' energy. His movement was unreal. His voice didn't work for me in places, but that could have just been the sound design of the show--there were bits where it was really hard for me to make out what he was singing.

Jewelle Blackman is AMAZING, as are Yvette Gonzales-Nacer and Kay Trinidad. They've really turned the Fates into a more menacing presence, and while I ADORE Lulu Fall and Shaina Taub and missed seeing them, I didn't MISS them, if that makes sense.

Reeve Carney. Oh. My dude. You are certainly a white boy with a guitar.

And here's where it really starts to break down for me. I have two major issues with the show, and the first one is that I find absolutely nothing exceptional in Reeve Carney. I cannot understand why this cagey, feisty girl who's been hurt before would throw everything in with this weirdo, IMMEDIATELY POSSESSIVE kid who's singing her a song? Lisa framed it as, "She's nineteen and she's literally never met a nice man before," and I can kind of see it through that lens, but I also don't think that's the lens that the show wants me to see it through. It wants me to frame this as a beautiful, epic love story, but I don't buy that she's in love with him. Maybe I'm too gay for it or maybe it's the writing or maybe it's the acting, but it doesn't connect for me, and once that connection is broken, the whole show sort of falls apart.

I don't recall having this problem with the NYTW version. It could be that since that version started with the two of them already in love, it was easier to wave it off as some off-stage wooing that already happened and accept that there were reasons they were together. It could have been that Nabiyah Be's Eurydice was a little softer and more naive. It could have been that I empathized more with Damon Daunno's Orpheus. Whatever it was, I found it much easier to accept that they were in love, which made Orpheus' neglect feel so much more painful and Eurydice's choice so much more desperate and all that followed so much more heartbreaking.

Basically, most of the stakes stop being so high if you don't buy into their love, which I just...did not.

My other major issue, to get that out of the way up front, is the pacing is still not great. Although I didn't write up notes after Hadestown in 2016 (I saw it literally hours before I saw Hamilton for the first time), I remember talking with my friends about how the beginning is very tight and the middle-to-end are kind of a mess and bloated. I didn't follow the show closely while it was out of town and I guess I kind of hoped that it would have been tightened up more, but no. It was not. It still feels very over-full and there's now this number where Orpheus gets beat up by the Hadestown workers that's like...comically over the top. In my heart, I really feel like this could be a one act show, or at least a two act show with much shorter acts. "Wait for Me" is SUCH a good act one finale, but you lose some of that energy moving to "Why We Build the Wall," which I think would work just as well as an opening to act two, as much as I love the way "Our Lady of the Underground" is staged.

Anyway, all that being said, I still enjoyed it and still cried, so what do I know, right?

Road to Hell: I liked this as an introduction overall, and loved the little intros for all of the characters. It really sold me on Andre De Shields, too, esp because I loved Chris Sullivan so much.

Any Way the Wind Blows: This is such a great song and god, I loved the way Eva played Eurydice. The candle thing was a nice touch.

Come Home With Me: I can't believe I'm supposed to care about this kid.

Wedding Song: I liked the new twist on this, although I think I like it better a more earnest song. Still, Eurydice using this to sort of mock Orpheus about being a broke artist was a cool twist and Eva sold it.

Epic I: This was fine. It's explained either here or earlier that spring and fall have more-or-less disappeared because Persephone is being forced to spend more time in the Underworld and is being brought back down sooner. The implication, as we get further along in the story, is that Hades doesn't know how to connect to Persephone any longer and is keeping her around more both a) as a show of power and b) because he doesn't know how else to express himself to her.

Livin’ It Up On Top: I would absolutely kill for Amber Gray. This version of Persephone is drinking to cope. A LOT. It paints this sad, lovely picture of what she's been feeling.

All I've Ever Known: I just do not buy that they're in love, sorry.

Way Down Hadestown: The staging and set of the show are fantastic. There's a panel at the center of the stage that rises and lowers as needed and the visual of Persephone and Hades, stony faced both, sinking back into the underworld is perfect.

A Gathering Storm: The through line about the weather mostly works for me, but honestly, I was so distracted by how annoyed I was at Orpheus during this number that I was pulled out of the moment.

Hey, Little Songbird: Skipping ahead a little, Patrick Page is perfect, in case you were wondering. I tweeted something like that after NYTW and he clearly found it in a vanity search and replied very humbly, which I find quite charming. But yes, I adore him.

When the Chips are Down: This is one of my favorite songs in this show and the Fates kill it here. Their slightly more sinister characterization makes it more haunting than taunting and I'm into it.

Wait For Me: The lighting in this number deserves a Tony all on its own. Jesus Christ, that's art. The set is also incredible. As Orpheus moves down into Hadestown, the stage splits apart from an intimate cafe into a larger, more industrial space. Very cool.

Why We Build the Wall: Again, Patrick Page is excellent. This works really well to pull Eurydice in, as well. We see her slowly starting to accept this way of thinking as she listens to Hades. And, of course, Persephone's act-ending line is perfect.

Our Lady of the Underground: Amber! Gray! Is! Wonderful!

Flowers: My actual favorite song in this show. Eva nails it, it was beautiful and poignant, on the heels of her slow realization that this isn't what Hades said it would be at all, that she's forgetting her name and who she is as she slowly is sucked into the capitalist machine.

Then in here is some more Orpheus stuff, including the ridiculous fight scene where he’s beat up by the workers?

There’s also this subplot that the workers think that if Orpheus can get out, they can get out too, so he’s leading like, a whole little revolution? Except that isn’t really expanded on at all and kind of falls away. It also, imo, takes these weird steps towards turning it into a different story than it is. If you’re pushing that it’s a love story, a love song, so much and then at the last minute paste on this “also a revolution is happening????” and then drop it for the emotional climax like...what are you doing, why is this here?

But also, there's this bit where Hades says "Have a drink!" to Persephone and she says something like "I'm done with that" and it is a real (pun not intended) sobering moment for the two of them. Ugh, I just really love them and the complexities of their relationship.

Epic: Patrick Page's face is very good at acting. The rest of him, too, I guess, but even from the cheap seats, I got SO worked up over Hades' quiet slip into acknowledging the despair that he feels over his inability to connect with Persephone. The guy on Naomi's other side was full on crying, even more than me. It was honestly glorious.

(I have a lot of thoughts about Hades and Persephone, and, to be honest, they’re my main draw to this show. I’m fascinated by their relationship here and the way it’s broken in a way they’re not quite sure how to fix. Against all odds, I’m rooting for them, I want it to work for them, if only because they both seem to remember this time when they were in love and nothing else mattered. I think that’s part of why the parts of this incarnation that don’t work for me...don’t work for me. I’m already more invested in Hades and Persephone than Orpheus and Eurydice, so when I have to work ten times harder to feel for their relationship, it just doesn’t seem worth it, especially next to one that I’m sucked into almost against my will.)

Doubt Comes In: I will give Reeve Carney this--despite knowing how this story was going to end, I still felt the creeping tension and dread in those moments leading up to him turning around. A woman behind Lisa said, "Oh no!" out loud, even.

Road to Hell (Reprise): And this is the other place where I cried, of all things! This number ends up being about how we know that this is a sad story and we know how it ends, but we keep telling it anyway, because that's what stories are there to do. I got weepy, who knows!

I Raise My Cup: So they moved this to after the curtain call??? I....don't know if it works like that, tee bee aitch.

ANYWAY, those are my thoughts, mostly I'm tired of typing this and the deadlines that I started writing it to avoid are looming, SO. I enjoyed it a lot, despite the things that bothered me, but I would probably not spend $150 to see it again. Rush tickets, maybe.

[saiyanhajime]

DBS: Broly - Review

I was excited to see “Dragon Ball Super: Broly”, obviously… It’s Dragon Ball! But I wasn’t expecting to be as blown away by it as I have been, to fall in love with it. For me, Dragon Ball has always been more about the fandom than the official media. When I first formed a love for the franchise, it was elusive and unattainable, so I had to get my kicks elsewhere.

I think DBS Broly might be my favourite piece of DB media, ever. It’s everything I ever wanted and everything I didn’t realise I needed from this franchise. I haven’t loved a piece of media like this in a long, loooong time.

Worth noting that, at the time of writing, I have only seen the English dub. I’ll wait for home release to see the subtitled Japanese audio version as I struggle to keep up with text and visuals at the same time!

The Cinema Experience

My first viewing was a small, packed screen on opening night here in the UK. The audience seemed to be mostly around 25-30 year olds, almost entirely fellow guys (my friend was one of maybe 5 women - seriously, where are you all??). But the ethnic diversity of Dragon Ball’s audience is something most movies could only dream of attracting. It was a great time, with people audibly laughing out loud and clapping at the end. The movie is genuinely so brilliantly funny, a surprise in itself.

My second viewing, the following night, alone, was a larger screening. Roughly the same audience demographics, but this time, the audience erupted into cheering with each transformation… It was so fucking incredible to be a part of. I was grinning the entire time. It’s hard to overstate just how important the social aspect of enjoying this movie in the cinema was.

It’s incredible to finally be living Dragon Ball “up to date” like this and the excitement shows.

Spoilers incoming...

Story Isn’t King

That's coming from someone who has always wished for more depth to DB, but what I've realised recently is that the level of storytelling the community plugs into this franchise is not something that belongs in the official media. We do it better, because we do it free of constraints the official releases require to be Dragon Ball, that it requires to be so widely popular. The official text is a framework, not a rulebook. I think one of the things that contributes to Dragon Ball’s insane popularity and ability to speak to so many people in so many cultures is how vague it can be. The snippets of depth are there for us to draw our own conclusions. DB doesn’t need canon absolutes in backstory.

Overall, I prefer the old “Bardock - The Father of Goku” telling of the prequel events that set up the Broly movie, though man it's been an age since I saw that. I wonder how much of my preference is just nostalgia? How much is knowing that Bardock: Father of Goku wasn’t “canon”, and so didn’t really matter? That is liberating. Now Dragon Ball Minus and DBS: Broly seem to demand that this is the way it actually happened with no room for headcanon and I feel a little turned off. There is plenty to like with this retelling. Gine is a delight, more of the saiyan homeworld is welcomed and just look at small details like Bardock actually moving his tail in this scene rather than it constantly being wrapped around their waists ready for combat. Ideally, I would like a perfect blend of the best elements from both tellings. And ya know what? That's the beauty of fandom... I can have that.

It is so obvious that huge chunks of story are missing here, yet it already drags for me a little... I’m not sure what the solution is, really. I’ve seen people suggesting it should have been two movies, but I’m not sure I agree.

Once the movie skips forward to present day, the storytelling revolving around the discovery of Broly, Paragus and their recruiting into the Freeza force is entertaining and I’m way more invested. So maybe it is just apathy for a prequel story retold a slightly different way…

But when the insane 30-40 minute non-stop action starts in the latter half, that’s when the movie comes into its own for me. This is Dragon Ball.

Overall, the narrative does something new for the series. It sets up, foreshadows and references back in a more conventional pattern than ever before. It feels, I dunno. It feels… Westernised? It feels, both narratively and in overall quality, more like a movie and not just a tacked on side-story. There’s no unnecessary inclusion of side characters irrelevant to the plot making cameos. Everyone is here for a reason.

Character Personalities

The characters behave like themselves again, and not just through exposition dumping monologues the series is famous for, but through visual storytelling! There is so much not said, so much told through the fight, through their expressions and movements.

From the moment Vegeta’s playful spar with Goku ends at Bulma’s vacation house, you get a very different Vegeta to the one we’ve seen through Super. His turn to listen to Goku and Whis's conversation is full of character. He's so on edge about something. And proceeds to tell us why with a humorous but genuinely livid jab at Goku for wishing Freeza back to life. Vegeta is worried. In the scene where Bulma is reviewing the CCTV footage of the Dragon Ball theft, Vegeta double takes and glares at Goku when it becomes obvious the thieves are Freeza’s men. They say nothing. It’s all character acting. It tells us so much.

Vegeta's anxiety continues on, affecting his fight with Broly… He barely has a chance to enjoy the fight at all. We get so little cocky Vegeta enjoying a battle and instead a very serious Vegeta who feels the need to to end this threat right now. What I take from all this is an example of quality character development - instead of Vegeta simply becoming more friendly, his personality that we all love is still there, but his morals have changed. His entertainment isn’t as important as protecting his family. And having witnessed Goku’ recklessly endanger their friends and families in throughout DB Super, Vegeta is not prepared to take any chances here, attempting to deliver a finishing blow very early on.

And Goku, who’s characterisation in Super felt so utterly insulting at times, is back on form here. His idiotic moments don’t feel so absurdly stupid that they’re unbelievable, but instead come across as cute and heartwarming. Moments like his talk with Broly mid fight, with Piccolo when he’s lying on the ground battered and bruised and when he’s simply watching Broly transform into a super saiyan for the first time convey Goku’s ability to be serious and regretful. It was so refreshing to see Goku back on form. The first half of his fight with Broly is incredible - going from excitement, to confidence that he could talk Broly round, to being put firmly in his place, on the ground. People who criticise the series for having no stakes fail to understand that the stakes are truly nestled in the characters personalities and their pride. The stakes are whether they will be able to overcome their flaws, both metaphorically through transformations, and literally.

Voice Acting (Dub)

Whilst on the subject of the characters, the voice acting is unbelievably good… Chris Ayres as Freeza steals the show, but the others are brilliant also.The line delivery is one thing, the ability to so brilliantly match that to the mouth flaps another, but the writing for a Western, English speaking audience is just superb. I cannot wait to see what differs in the original Japanese - I’ve heard that Freeza’s “Hello Monkeys!” line was a dub change from “Greetings!” for example, which in my opinion is so appropriate and elicits an uncomfortable, awkward laugh from the aforementioned ethnically diverse audience in the west in a such good way. Freeza as a tyrannical, racist, piece of shit, is an important character trait to a Western audience. The jokes that ride on line delivery alone are so numerous - one personal highlight for me is Whis’ ever-so-gay coded “Oh my…” when Gogeta bursts in. Took the words right out of my mouth, Whis. The voice acting is on a whole different level to anything before now from the American team. The scene I’ve already mentioned where Goku is contacted by Piccolo, Schemmel really sells the pain Goku’s in. And lets not forget Broly himself, played by Vic Mignogna, whose line delivery really conveys him as this Tarzan-like character in his sane scenes… But really shines in moments of mania when he’s flailing, yelling, crying as a cornered, manic, rabid ape who cannot control his emotions or immense strength. The scene where he’s just making noises at Goku, copying his fighting stance before he launches at him - wow. Even new side characters like Lemo have an outstanding quality to their voice acting that blows any previous English speaking Dragon Ball performance so far out of the water it’s insane.

Broly

Having a Dragon Ball story focus on so many characters who aren’t Goku is refreshing for a franchise that’s been so heavily criticised for being The Goku Show… For years we’ve wanted to see other characters step into the limelight. I still haven’t forgiven the last movie, Resurrection F, for stealing the win out from under Vegeta.

Vegeta still doesn’t get the long awaited limelight here… But this “new” saiyan, Broly, is something rather special. I wasn’t a fan of the original Broly. Loved the idea, but never liked the execution. His visual design I found personally off-putting, but more importantly it failed to convey his character very well. He looked so prestigious?  And the idea of being so affected by Goku crying as a baby next to him, that it sent him into uncontrollable rage whenever he heard the same “Kakarot” is so laughably stupid. I’m glad that’s not here.

The cool concept of the legendary super saiyan, though... I think most people dig that. Here that’s kind of gone too - but the idea of a freakishly strong saiyan from birth who is the embodiment of their animalistic heritage and rage-induced potential is beautifully executed. The great ape form, or rather Broly having found a way of accessing that power without transforming, is referenced more than once throughout the story. There’s this sense that the way Goku and Vegeta have learnt to control themselves has perhaps potentially hindered them. That maybe the ultra-instinct forms Whis has foreshadowed for so long is related, or could be used to tap into the natural potential of saiyans. Huh.

With a visually pleasing design to boot, Broly is absolutely awesome as the star in his own movie as a tragic menace. So much is done to sell this as Broly’s movie, from his sheer amount of screen time and characterisation in both his placid and manic states, to that awesome first person perspective part of his fight - incredible.

Animation and Aesthetics

You don’t need me to tell you this film looks gorgeous and I’ve already mentioned some scenes where the characters convey so much through movement alone. This looks like Dragon Ball never has. It feels nostalgic, but refreshing. It’s stylistically so unique and fluid and choreographed and magical. Impacts hit with such full-force conviction, the characters gracefully zooming around each other in dueling harmony, the electrifying ki beams piercing through the bleak environments with their vibrant colour and form. For once you really believe just how powerful and fast these superhumans are… Perhaps one of the reasons why the first half of the film is so much weaker for me is simply because there's less of this beautiful action. But the entire film is steeped in impressively bold and emotive colour pallets that sell the mood of each location so well.

But there’s a great big elephant in the room… The cgi.

It would seem I have a different opinion to most on this subject. I don’t mind the environmental cgi, but the character animation is jarring and I hate it. It is a blemish on an otherwise gorgeous piece of art. Now, I’m really funny about “bad” cgi. I also don’t know dick about animation. I just know when something looks really, really wrong. It’s as if the cgi characters have no squash and stretch applied that keeps them fluid. They’re stiff. There’s no elasticity, no umph. They move like someone just put strobe lights on. Their joints like that of action figures. I’ve seen so many people say it’s not bad or they even like these parts and I’m really glad it didn’t ruin it for most people, but my god does it ruin those scenes for me. Just look at the awkward mouth flaps and dead eyes, especially on Goky, in the Kamehameha/Galick Gun combo scene. Yuck.

Soundtrack

I love the score.

Before I saw the movie, I heard a lot of people talking about the chanting and how weird it was - but the second it started my first thought was how much it reminded me of Akira. And yeah, it’s kinda weird. And I love it. It hypes up this epic match and I don’t find it cheesy at all. I love it both in context and even when listened to in isolation.

The entire score is all over the place yet manages to feel whole as it attempts, and succeeds, to convey the atmosphere and emotion of each location, narrative beat and every swing of a fist or blast of ki. The only track I’m not keen on is the rendition of Chala Head Chala. I think it’s a pretty pants rendition of the song and is immensely distracting in an otherwise moving soundtrack. The movie totally needs a rendition of Head Chala right there, but not this rendition. I just don’t like it. The weird boingy sound is awful.

Final Thoughts

The success of Dragon Ball Super: Broly, especially in the west, is a joyful reminder what this 30 year old franchise means to so many people. Very few non-fans are going to have set foot in a cinema to see this movie, and yet the current total earnings at the time of writing on January 29th 2019 is $98,584,176 according to Box Office Mojo.

That is truly insane.

It feels like this movie was made especially for me and for that I am eternally grateful. Speaking to fellow fans and reading their reviews, it’s so clear that everyone has different things to love about this movie. There’s so much content here for every fan to find something they love. I cannot wait to get hold of a home release and I cannot wait to see what’s to come, ho-ly shit! What a time to be a Dragon Ball fan.

[arivers610]

Bitches Be Crazy

Erica perked up when Celeste and Mina sat down,

“Good you guys are here now, okay so how does everyone feel about going to a club this weekend!”

Daisy and Mina nodded but Celeste and Nehemie didn’t seem too excited.

Celeste shrugged her shoulders,

“I’m just not a “club” person. Sorry but I think I’m going to pass.”

Nehemie nodded,

“Me too.”

“Oh come ‘on Neh, just tell your parents you’re staying over at my place.”

“And what will you be telling your parents Aminata?” Nehemie using Mina’s full name made her sound even more like the mother of the group.

“I’ll tell them we’re having a sleepover at your place. It’ll be just like that time we went to New York to see Drake and that turned out fine.”

“Us missing our bus, you losing your money and making us stay at some rent by the hour motel is not my definition of fine.”

“But that won’t happen because Celeste said that she lives on he own, everyone looked at Celeste, so can we stay with you this weekend?”

“Sure but I don’t know if I want to go out.”

“Please Celeste, Mina begged then Erica joined in, we need the whole gang.”

“Okay fine, but I have to ask my roommate.”

“Who’s your roommate?” Daisy asked

“His name is Julien, I found him on craigslist and he hasn’t killed me yet so he’s a pretty good roommate.”

“You live with a guy that you met on craigslist?” Erica shouted

“Is he cute?” Daisy asked

“He is and he is also very, very gay so there’s no need to worry about anything other than him possibly stealing your clothes.”

“Well that settles it, we’ll get ready at Celeste’s, drive over to the club and crash at her place, Erica shrugged her shoulders, as long as it’s okay with your roommate.”

Celeste sighed and nodded,

“I’ll ask him tonight but, Celeste pointed to Erica before she could celebrate, when one of us is ready to leave we all leave together, okay?”

Everyone nodded in agreement. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Later on~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Celeste decided to take a break from her school work and do something that would relax her, paint. She threw on an old t-shirt of hers that was already splattered with paint, a pair of Soffe shorts, also covered in paint, and pulled her hair into a pony tail at the top of her head.

She laid down her white tarp, turned on some music and let her paint brush glide across the blank canvas. Her go to thing to paint was birds or flowers but this time she just started painting lines and dripping paint onto the canvas. Celeste picked up the canvas and slowly rotated it. The pinks and purples swirled together with the blue. She decided to leave the one corner completely free of paint. She dipped a thinner paint brush into some brown paint and painted a bird with its wings spread out. Underneath it she wrote with her fancy paint pen,

Be like a bird, fly forwards not backwards

When Julien came home, Celeste showed him her painting.

“I like the Jackson Pollock vibes, not crazy about the bird, Celeste rolled her eyes, but then again I can barely draw stick figures so who am I too judge. I love it.”

“Thanks, so how was work?”Celeste asked.

“It was okay, clam chowder girl called off again. So I had to stick around until thick ass Tony came in.” Julien smiled and grabbed a plate to warm up the leftover chicken and rice.

“I know why you call Tony, thick ass Tony but why do you call that girl clam chowder girl again?”

“Because it was the first thing she dropped when she started working, Celeste smiled and nodded, oh and how was school today? Did you learn anything?” he popped it in the microwave for 90 seconds.

Celeste shrugged her shoulders ,

“It was okay, oh by the way some of my friends want to go out on Saturday so I told them they can crash here afterwards, is that okay with you.”

Julien jumped up and hugged Celeste,

“Yes of course it’s okay, he flung her back and forth, I’m so happy you’re making friends.”

Celeste laughed and pushed him away,

“JuJu, you act like I’m some shut in who never wants to leave the house and would love nothing more than to lay on the couch and, Celeste stopped and nodded, okay so I guess that is pretty much me.”

“But not anymore, this weekend you’re going out, maybe next weekend you’ll  finally get laid.” Julien clapped his hands together.

Celeste sighed and shook her head,

“I don’t need to get laid Julien.”

“Oh really, he walked into the living room and grabbed the remote, let’s check and see what you’ve been watching on Netflix, shall we?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“When you’re sexually frustrated you watch Marvel movies because you’ve got the hots for the three Chris’s, Evans, Hemsworth and Pratt.”

“No I don’t, Celeste lunged at Julien for the remote, okay you’ve made you’re point. But it still doesn’t matter.”

Julien backed off,

“Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry I brought it up, he put his arm around her, you can do or not do whoever you want. Besides, one of us in this apartment should be welcomed at the pearly gates.” He winked and nudged his shoulder into hers.

“Nah, I’m already going to hell for laughing at old people falling down in those life alert commercials.”

“Did you ever see the video where someone takes clips from the commercials and adds music to it?”

“Yes, but let’s watch them anyway.”

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The next day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“The feminist voice of Sylvia Plath can be heard in her writing and told through her life, Celeste cleared her throat and looked down at her note cards, an examples of her feminist voice can be found in her poem Lady Lazarus which ends with the words, out of the ash I rise with my red hair and I eat men like air, Celeste looked up from her note cards and saw Ian smiling at her, even at the young age of 17 Sylvia wasn’t interested in the traditional roles that women had during that time. She wrote, I am afraid of getting older. I am afraid of getting married. Spare me from cooking three meals a day, spare me from the relentless cage of routine and rote. I want to be free I want to think, to be omniscient.”

Celeste put her note cards down and used the rest of her time to show images of Sylvia in a PowerPoint.

“Okay thank you Ms. Drummer, that was very informative. Does anyone have any questions, just as she was about to go sit down, a hand shot up in the air, Ian do you have a question for Celeste?”

Celeste clenched her jaw and let out an audible sigh. Ian nodded and leaned forward in his seat,

“Yeah I was wondering why you didn’t mention the fact that she was mentally ill?”

“Well because it doesn’t have anything to do with her being a feminist. If this was a Psych class I would’ve mentioned it. Unless you think they’re connected?”

Everyone turned and looked at Ian. He shook his head,

“I’m not saying they’re connected but maybe there is some truth to the saying, bitches be crazy.”

A few people in the class laughed but the teacher stopped it from going any further,

“Okay let’s keep the questions relevant and stop using terms like bitch to describe women.”

“My apologies Ms. Anderson and Celeste, I should have phrased the question better.”

His apologetic smile was enough for the teacher but Celeste stuck her lip up in disgust and took her seat.

After class the teacher handed Celeste her paper back and the grade she got on her presentation,

“You’re paper was great I just wish you would have brought that in a little more with your presentation but overall you did a good job. Keep it up!”

Celeste smiled and took her paper from the teacher. An A- wasn’t a bad grade but if it weren’t for the presentation part of the assignment she would have gotten higher than a 90%. She walked out of class with her head down reading the comments on her paper. Someone in front of her held the door for her,

“Thanks.” She said without looking up.

“You’re welcome Ms. Drummer.”

Celeste shook her head and turned around to face Ian,

“Don’t say my name like that.” Celeste straightened her back to appear taller and louder than she actually was.

“Like what?” Ian put his hands in his pockets and leaned in.

“Like, Celeste waved her hands in front of his face, that. Like everything you say has some hidden motive. It’s creepy and weird.”

“Whatever you say, he looked down at her paper then up to her face, good job by the way.” He winked and brushed past her.

IanJReyes0716: “The night I lost my keys, broke into a car and realized it wasn’t my car.”

KingStephen009:”You never did get that jacket back from that tattooed chick, did you?”

IanJReyes0716: “Nope but it was worth it.”

[paniccord-ff]

21. Part 2

The penthouse suite EJ has got us is fucking beautiful but I don’t remember paying for this at all, I know I didn’t because I accepted the offer and that was it “only the best for us bad bitches, we ain’t about to sleep in this place. We about to go out” EJ said as he walked over to the pool table “you look confused?” Munchie said nudging me “uhm, this is nice but I don’t remember paying” Munchie busted out laughing “sorry girl, I am not laughing at you at all” she held my arm “you’re with Chris Brown, he paid for you” squinting my eyes at her “what?” he never said “he paid EJ, he paid your side. You’re ok, I guess he didn’t mention it to you” shaking my head, he never does “how much?” I asked “it’s best if you ask hunny. Ok Bitches get the hell ready to leave, and you little miss Rylee put your bikini on we about to go to a beach club” EJ touched my hair “I would embrace this, Chris wants you living good so don’t be annoyed with him” Tamia nodded her head “you will see my friends next, we will have a good time. Pretend you’re single” he shrugged smiling.

Closing the bedroom door, the bedroom is so nice and the bed is huge. I will feel lonely now, no Chris suffocating me or placing his legs over mine. Placing my overnight bag on the bed and also my bag, this room has it’s own bathroom too, such a blessing this is. The best I’ve been in is a Hilton hotel standard room, this is amazing. I have to thank Chris, he can’t keep doing this to me because I don’t deserve and I am not those girls that want his money. I best get ready before EJ drags my ass out of this room, unzipping my bag. I am sure I packed a bikini but I might not have because I think of Vegas and just casino’s, I don’t know. Picking my clothes out one by one, I don’t know how I managed to fit everything in this overnight bag, I stole Chris’ bag because I don’t really have one. Placing my hand in the bag, feeling a lump in there “huh” pulling open the bag looking in, seeing a stack of money with a band around it “what the hell” picking it out of my bag, seeing this stack of cash in my hand. I know I didn’t do this and Chris was stood next to my bag “Chris!” I said through gritted teeth, why did he do this. Staring at the money, there is at least ten thousand here, oh my god.

To: Chris

From: Rylee

You really put that money in my bag?? Come on Chris, I am not with you for the money and I don’t want it, stop it. And you paid for the hotel, I can’t repay you back for this! Lol I am a broke nurse, stop it!!! I am bringing this back and I am shocked I didn’t get stopped at the airport with this, my head right now! STAWPPPPP

Pressing send on the message, I am shocked at him. I should have known he was up to something but I didn’t think of it, I am so stupid at times. Looking to the side of me, that money is a hell of a lot. That could pay for my wages to stay my ass at home for a couple of months and he just gave it me like this, like it was nothing to him “you done!?” Tamia shouted outside the door, jumping up from the side of my bed “shit” looking at the time on my phone “uhh yeah, just putting my bikini on” I have done noting, I haven’t even refreshed my makeup or done my hair “don’t make EJ knock this door down, hurry up girl” Tamia chuckled, I am still panicking over this money. What if I got stopped at the airport, I would be so confused on this and then they might have thought I am some drug dealer, Chris is so annoying but in a cute way.

Fixing my body chain on my body, this shit had to get tangled in my bag. I have spent ten minutes undoing this all “finally” I breathed out, I hope this black bikini looks ok but topping it up with my chains may make it look better. I don’t have the time so I just put some Berry coloured lipstick on, turning around and grabbing my brown sheer top to put on. Luckily I was actually thinking of outfits back at home so I must have put the full set in my bag, placing the sheer top carefully over my head. Seeing my phone screen light up, looking over at my phone screen and seeing Chris has text me back. Let me look in the mirror before I am done, this look ok I am guessing but I didn’t have the time to fix my hair as much, so this messy bun will do. Placing my shades over my eyes, grabbing my phone and unlocking it “let’s go!” EJ opened my bedroom door “I am done!” I can actually say I am “work it girl, put those slides on and lets go. You look really good” smiling at EJ complimenting me, looking down at the text message.

From: Chris

To: Rylee

I don’t want the money back… I told you I am rich in love and use the money to buy yourself something nice because if you bring it back you could get stopped ;)… lol

Pulling a face at the text, so he is saying I have to use it because I am not about to do that at all. He thinks he’s funny doing this, texting him back.

To: Chris

From: Rylee

I will buy you a mouth guard so you can stop biting my nipple, we not talking now…. Stop doing this, after this text I am not texting you because you can’t keep buying me things, see me on Insta. Mwah x

Grabbing my clutch and slipping my feet into my slides, power walking out of my bedroom “you came looking for a man, you better slay hunny” Munchie said, twirling around “thank you, I honestly didn’t know what to wear but clearly I do” I giggled, seeing Joe stood in the room “you know, you can just go and I can say you stayed” I feel bad for him “so I can get fired? Chris has given me strict rules so no” Joe said, side eyeing him “strict rules? Like what, you can tell me because I am not speaking to him right now” Joe laughed, feeling my phone vibrate in my hand, looking down at the screen and seeing Chris’ name “yeah that is him calling but I am not speaking to him, tell me” Joe shook his head “we can lose Joe, it’s fine. If you partying with us we will get him drunk” EJ said “ok let’s go, my girls are meeting us there” turning my head away from Joe as I walked by him “Rylee, don’t be like that with me” he said, he can lose me now.

The SUV stopped outside the place, we could have walked but then again who would want to walk like this. EJ got out first and I followed behind him, shuffling out of the car. I can already hear the music “I bet this shit is already packed, we took longer than usual because of someone” he pointed at me, I can’t really say anything about that because it was me that wasted time “oh my god” EJ said, feeling him touch my shoulder “huh” looking up at him “don’t mean to alarm you but, have you ever seen Roro mother?” frowning shaking my head, EJ’ eyes widened and pointed slyly behind him. Looking behind him seeing a group of women “who?” I mouthed, EJ blinked at me “the bigger broad bitch, shaped like a line backer, built like fridge. Tattoos” Munchie busted out laughing “EJ, you straight up wrong” looking behind EJ again and this time I see her and she also saw me, she looks way older than I thought “I think ole girl got issues already but let’s get inside” Munchie pulled me along, I don’t know why she gave me a look for.

Walking by the pool of people, half naked women and men “guess what though, Drake finna be playing here later. We might dip by then but hopefully not” Tamia said at the side of me “I like him, his song anyways” I hope EJ has got us a spot because this is packed “Deandre and Antone!” EJ shouted in excitement, looking to where he is walking too. Seeing the two guys get up to hug EJ “I thought he said girls?” I said to Tamia “they gay” she said, letting out an oh, they are gay so he calls them his girl “I am glad you bitches could come” he pointed at the three females waving while sitting down “so you know these two but we have a newcomer, this is my girl Rylee” EJ waved me over, these two are gay because they are too fine for that “seen her face, that’s Chris Brown’s girlfriend” one of them said, EJ kissed his teeth “she has a name nigga, Rylee this nigga is Deandre and this one is Antone” shaking both of their hands “nice to see you Rylee, see I said her name” EJ waved them off “so these are the last bitches that won’t get up but this Ebony, Deja and Asia” the girls waved at me so I waved back at them, they seem nice.

Taking my sheer top off before sitting down on the sun lounger, I like this place actually. Taking my shades off looking down at my phone seeing Chris has done the most with my phone “excuse me!” some guy shouted, his body towering over me and blocking the sun. Looking up at this white gentleman “drinks?” he said, looking at Tamia “bottle service hoe” she said, I was thinking what is this “get yourself a bottle if you want” I paused thinking “Ciroc Coconut please” I said to him, he nodded his head smiling at me. I didn’t even know they did this, looking down at my phone thinking if I should call him or let him suffer a little more but I feel bad. Sighing out, sitting back on the lounger “your body is so bomb girl” Tamia said, fixing my body chain on my stomach, looking up at Tamia “thank you” she turned her phone to me “you don’t mind this?” seeing the selfie she took of herself and me looking down “well I ain’t looking so I am good, not see my ugly face” she side eyed me looking away.

Touching my stomach, this sun is strong as fuck “come” Munchie hit my arm, watching her get into the pool. Fixing my shades getting up from the lounger “I am only putting my legs in there” I shouted over the music, hearing whistling behind me. Looking behind me touching the strings at the side of my pants as I did “who do you think you are!?” EJ shouted “she look like she is on a photoshoot” Antone said “you need to see it, come” he waved me over, turning around walking over to them. Looking down at EJ’ phone “ok I like that picture, send it me please” I do look good there “oh and call your man, he is driving me crazy” EJ said before grabbing my phone from the lounger, he is really doing the most “sent it!” EJ spat, unlocking my phone and tapping on EJ’ message “posting this right now! I love this picture” posting this of course, I look good so why not. Captioning the picture ‘My new personal photographer @EJstylist, it’s all about the angles! My summer is lit #Vegas’ posting the picture.

I yelped out as someone pushed me but then caught me “just playing” looking behind me, Antone sat next to me “don’t fuck with a girl and their weave nigga, it’s new. I can tell” Munchie made her way back over to us “you like it? I got it done like a week ago” touching my hair “it’s bomb as fuck girl, you need to show me where you get your bundles from actually” this is why I won’t go into the water, I also don’t really feel like doing my hair “bought you something” Tamia said bringing the shot into my eye-view “I have had one already, I am not about to have another” shaking my head “have another, come on” Munchie took hers “I don’t take well to shots” I really don’t “we trying to get fucked up and you’re say no, honestly” feeling someone stood behind me, looking up seeing Joe “Chris?” he pointed at his phone, shaking my head smiling “oh come on” he put the phone to his ear “she is busy drinking a shot” taking the shot from Tamia, playing with Chris can be dangerous actually. Downing the shot like I was a pro “yass!!” Munchie shouted.

Taking my phone from Deandre while sipping my Corona through a straw “where are you going?” hearing Joe speak, looking behind me and seeing Joe stop a guy “I can go anywhere, they don’t own it” the man shouted, this is awkward “I suggest you use another part, now move!” this is so awkward, looking away from Joe. Placing my bottle down at the side of me, my phone is full of notifications, I can’t stop it and it’s draining my battery. Unlocking my phone, tapping on my Instagram. Going onto my notifications and all I see is Chris and then more Chris “god” I said in a whisper “what is it?” Antone asked “Chris” that is all I said, tapping on my profile and going on to the picture of me in the bikini “holy shit, this has to be my most liked picture” I don’t know why I got so excited “the bikini one?” Tamia asked, nodding my head. Tapping on the comments, Chris is feeling the need to attack everyone that comments “oh shit” Antone laughed looking at my phone “Chris has written mine and then he put nigga that is mine fuck off, why are you commenting for? We ain’t homies anymore” I want to laugh but also it’s not funny, scrolling further up. This is what I didn’t want, Daniel posted saying wow and now Chris and him are going back and forth.

Pressing my phone against my ear, placing my feet in my slides. I need to speak to him somewhere a little more quiet “why are you calling me for?” he said, somebody is not happy “because I am, I was just annoyed that you keep paying out for me. I feel bad, that is all” looking behind me, of course Joe is following me. Walking into the ladies toilets “I don’t want you to feel bad, I gave you money because your my girl. What are you going to do when we married huh? You straight up ain’t working then” why is he doing this “right, whatever. Are you going to stop arguing with people in my comments? You look childish and it’s stupid” Chris scoffed “so not only are you ignoring me, you think I am childish and stupid? Whatever Rylee. You party up there and ignore me, you make me look stupid. Got me ringing EJ and shit because you won’t pick up” stood in front of the mirror looking at myself “nobody told you too! I didn’t say call everyone, you’re just so insecure about shit that don’t happen. Listen to me Chris and stop commenting on everyone post people put on the picture” I even wore this ring on my engagement finger but I am about to change that up “I ain’t stopping until I fight Daniel ok? I know where he lives too, how about that?” blinking several times “you being that stupid right now? I leave you and you act stupid, you’re so selfish Chris” he disconnected the phone on me.

He needs to calm the fuck down but also he is my man and he is just being stupid, one of the cubicle doors opened and I totally forgot I am in the toilets. It is just my luck that it is his baby mother, she glared at me and went to wash her hands, she just heard all of that. I know Chris said she is a bitch so I guess this will be talked about, I am not confrontational at all but it seems like she wants to fight me in a weird way. She walked by me and purposely hit into me “who are you hitting into?” I said turning around, the door opened seeing Munchie “you was in the way” she retorted “we have all this room and you decide to hit into me? I know you are built sideways but don’t fucking hit into me again got it? I ain’t even met you, let that fucking hurt go” I sound so angry but I am now that she has hit into me “well hey” Munchie said, the baby mother stormed out “I think she thought she could start on me, fucking bitch” I am so annoyed now, and Chris is stressing me the fuck out.

Pressing my phone to my ear calling Chris back “what?” why does he have this attitude with me “I am sorry ok? I don’t want to argue with you, I am sorry I ignored your calls. I am sorry so please drop it” even if Chris is not over it at least I said sorry to him “you saying sorry because you don’t want me to beat Daniel’ ass, you saw what he wrote. The guy is talking mad shit” Chris is working my last nerve “you know what Chris, I said sorry but call me back once you are over it. I love you and please be good ok?” no point in going back and forth with him “aight cool, bye Rylee” shaking my head in annoyance, he really acts out like this. Disconnecting the call, I wish I never came now “Chris will get over it sis, he is insecure and feels out of control. He does it with all the girls, he will learn” Munchie said as she got out of the cubicle “I am not just any girl, he said he loves me” I want to cry now, walking off to leave the toilets.

I guess something has made me happy, seeing Drake. What a blessing this is, I mean the guy doesn’t look all there but his music is so good. It’s wild how close he is to us, Drake has a lot of bodyguards though and it’s not worth me getting off this lounger. Munchie keeps looking at me smiling but I am feeling a little sad, first I hate being compared to the bitches he fucked with and then second of all I hate how he is being with me. Munchie was about to walk over to me but I jumped off the lounger once I heard Make Me proud “I love this song!” I screamed out with my drink in hand, I think everyone heard that and I also created attention to myself but I don’t care. I know this song word for work, standing next to EJ “I know things get hard but girl you got it, girl you got it, there you go. Can’t you tell by how they looking at you everywhere you go, wondering what's on your mind, it must be hard to be that fine when all these muthafuckas wanna waste your time it’s just amazing, girl, all I can say is. I’m so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so proud of you” I sang so passionately and then someone joined in but I don’t care who “ladies!” Drake shouted on the mic “All of them bitches I’m badder than, Mansions in Malibu” me and EJ sang to each other.

[cvmisado]

ryden fic rec list

ahh so over the years i have read some AMAZING ryden fics…and some not so amazing ones. here, my dear friends, is a masterpost of some ryden fics that are definitely worth reading. make sure to read the warnings that the links give before reading please!! (there are 41 as of now, i update it like once a month)

 ♡ = favorite

one shots:

1. Falling is Like This: So, Brendon is madly in love with a boy from the candy shop. The boy from the candy shop. There’s only one. 

“I bet he’s sweet,” Pete cracks, and Brendon rolls his eyes and groans.

ryan is so cute in this. and the story line is so fluffy and adorable i mean,, c’mon. 4,571 words.

2. let the good times roll: A college/barista AU. 

ryan’s kinda obsessed with fall out boy. i love how this ends. also slight joncer. 3,650 words. 

♡ 3. Love, Sex, and Parachutes: Spencer owns Decaydance Skydiving and employs many of the bandom boys. 

this fic is kinda like the office and it’s so funny and i love it okay just read it. lots of ships. 3,847 words.

4. Purple Is Not A Christmas Color: KID!FIC Brendon has a problem with the fact that Santa put Ryan on the Naughty List.

i live for kid fics and this one is no exception. so fluffy. 5,657 words.

♡ 5. If I were stalking you then I’d know your favourite cookie flavour (Oatmeal Raisin, by the way): Spencer’s a video game addict, Jon’s kind of an ass, Brendon’s in Fall Out Boy and Ryan, uh, well he has a stalker.

ryan and jon work in a coffee shop. brendon’s kinda creepy but he has good intentions. trust me, it’s good. 6,011 words.

6. Sleepover Princes vs. Goodnight Girls: Ryan totally has a thing for Pete Wentz. Brendon should be happy for him, right? 

ryan’s a slick motherfucker and brendon’s a jealous one. 5,487 words.

♡ 7. Love In A Letterbox: AU. He’s always found a sanctuary in books, a protection almost. A world of your own where no one else can change things you don’t want to be changed.

so deep and well written. really cute library au. 6,007 words.

8. From A Pretty Mouth: “Are you wearing lip gloss?” Spencer asked as he passed by the two boys right when Brendon pursed his lips in the mirror. “Damn right I am!” Brendon exclaimed, and grinned at the drummer.  “It tastes like strawberries.”

ryan has a brendon’s lips kink. hot make outs. really short though, 2,000 words.

♡ 9. This Is Halloween: Brendon turns into a four-year-old just before Halloween.

the CUTEST. baby bren is so so great and has a lisp when saying spencer’s name. 2,981 words.

10. Candyboy: There is an urban legend about how a boy can get the most spectacular and orgasmic kiss of his life, if he dares to try it. 

this fic is pretty hot with an interesting story line. i’m pretty sure it’s a crack fic. 1,700 words.

11. Like A Magic 8 Ball, But You Can Only Ask One Question: Jon has the power to know whether someone’s gay or straight or somewhere in between.

jon saved everyone’s lives. just like irl. 3,689 words

♡ 12. Every Night You Stay: It wasn’t Ryan’s fault that Brendon had, apparently, taken everything he said to heart and decided to make Jon his new best friend and secret boyfriend. 

ryan is so weird, jealous, and hilarious in this. i felt so bad for jon hfshjfsdj. it’s by one of my fav authors. 5,342 words.

♡ 13. Best Laid Plans: Brendon had a three-step plan to make Ryan Ross fall in love with him. He didn’t write it down or anything (and if he did, the tiny, shredded pieces of paper were scattered across some highway between Wisconsin and Indiana, so no one could prove it), but it was a very specific plan. 

THIS IS HILARIOUS. i love this fic sossoso much cause brendon tries so damn hard to get ryan. featuring octopuses playing pianos (it’s not crack i promise) 4,600 words.

♡ 14. The Theory of Infatuation: Brendon’s the drama geek with the voice of an angel, and Ryan’s the socially crippled boy on the newspaper staff who loves him.

o!!!!m!!g!!!!!!!! the perfect high school au, ryan is too cute for his own good.  5,896 words. 

long fics:

♡ 1. Eccentric Times At Barrington High: The Office/High School AU: For some odd reason, a documentary company decides to document the daily lives and struggles of the teachers and students of Barrington High.

(OR: Music teacher Patrick Stump is hopelessly in love with his best friend trademark emo English teacher Pete Wentz, valedictorian William Beckett may or may not have had sex with the new Spanish teacher Gabe Saporta over his summer break in Jersey, pretentious and Coldplay-addicted Ryan Ross hates the lively and optimistic music teacher Brendon Urie, and more scandalous and weird things happen)

oh. my. god. this fic made me laugh so hard. mikey way is kind of an asshole and the description isn’t exaggerating when stating “Coldplay addicted Ryan Ross” because he honestly is. I’m pretty sure he fantasizes about Chris Martin on a daily basis. tyler and josh are the camera men. oh yeah, and halsey is in it. they are teachers except the tai guys and halsey. 75,032 words. 

2. Two Weeks In Hawaii: After being left at the alter the night before his wedding to Pete-fucking-Wentz, Ryan cashes in his honeymoon tickets to Hawaii where he finds that maybe not all men are complete assholes. – features pretty much every relationship ever, tons of characters, a bunch of relationships, and more butthurt and angst than any one story should. 

william is so great in this story. brendon’s such a sweetheart too. the beginning is so sad. i may have hated pete wentz for three days after reading this fic. lots of drama and angst. 112,075 words.

♡ 3. Two Vatos Locos Full of Carnalismo and Inamoratos: You dream with your soulmate. That’s how you learn who you’re meant to spend the rest of forever with. It’s simple, really, almost too easy. There’s no struggle unless your soulmate lives miles upon miles away. At least, that’s what usually happens. At first, Ryan thinks he’s sick. That he’s messed up or broken– maybe that’s why he didn’t dream with his soulmate for so long. But then he does, and fuck. Of course his soulmate is a fucking trauma case.

WARNING: WILL FUCK YOU UP. i’m not even exaggerating. it’s so angsty and sad and perfect and i love it so much. also, please read the tags before deciding to read this fic. some include: abuse, alcohol, suicide attempt(s). this isn’t the full thing so please take care and read the tags. 207,878 words.

♡ 4. Our Eyes Shine the Brightest When Our Faces Are Covered in Dirt (sequel to Two Vatos…): “Life isn’t a Disney Movie, and the world isn’t that generous. Sometimes, a story ends with an unsatisfying fade to black, and that’s all you have.”

Ryan struggles to teach his students this after taking a university teaching job to distract himself from his absent soulmate and his dying friend at home. He begins wonders if the ring on his finger means anything at all to Brendon.

read Two Vatos before reading this one. this may be even more sad and angsty, if that’s even possible. i cried a lot while reading this & the prequel. keep tissues handy. 104,062 words.

5. The One Thing I Never Expected: Ryan is Brendon’s best friend, they grew up together. But Ryan is different. An accident when he was a child left him deaf. Brendon has always taken care of Ryan, but now he’s starting to care for Ryan in a different way.

this is one of my all time favs. there’s a rape, suicide, and alcohol mentions. this is so cute and yes, they do have sex eventually. high school au. 91,000 words.

6. Star Shaped: Brendon’s not having the best holidays season ever.

you may want to read Forever, Now before reading this fic for it to make more sense. it isn’t ryden, but the story will make more sense if you do. 54,593 words.

7. Brilliant Smiles and Barely Scraping By: Brendon’s holding something inside of himself. It’s far from his heart; that’s where his favorite songs are kept. What he keeps secret is held in a place that Brendon himself doesn’t even want to try to find.

If Brendon couldn’t fight battles, Ryan was more than ready to fight for him

so so sad and worth reading. highschool au. there’s mentions of abuse and is quite angsty. this fic made me really angry. 73,600 words.

♡ 8. Rock Band Is (Not) A Synonym For Love: A mall AU. Pete’s head over heels for an oblivious Patrick, Gerard’s running out of ways to tell Frank he won’t date him, Ryan’s successfully trying to ignore his feelings for Brendon, and Spencer’s trying to make ends meet even as he slowly falls for Jon. On top of all that the big mall celebration is coming up and there’s all kinds of trouble keeping everyone on their toes.

so so cute. all your fav ships in one: peterick, frerard, joncer, and ofc ryden. pretty funny as well. 45,000 words.

9. Freaks: An accident lands Ryan in the hospital, and he meets Jon, who tells him of a mysterious patient on their floor.  There’s something not quite right about him, but then again, there’s something not quite right about Ryan as well.

ryan is so self concious and kinda an ass. jon & spencer are the best. 46,000 words.

10.  I Don’t Have a Library Card… But I’d Love to Check You Out: AU college. Brendon is close to flunking out of college, and his roommate and partner in crime, Jon, is not helping. He seeks refuge in the school’s library and finds a little more than a place to study. This is a story about finding love, taking chances, and being true to one’s self. 

ryan is adorable and sarah may seem like an ass at first, but she’s not. oh, spencer and sarah are siblings. 46,500 words.

♡ 11. How To Kill A Straight Guy: “Have fun eating your once-living flesh! I’ll be in here masturbating to girl magazines I got from my pot-smoking friends!”

the summary above is just for the first chapter. this fic is AMAZING and soooo much angst. it’s unbelievable. you will probably end up crying. it has a kind of sad ending, just warning you. 75,766 words. 

fics that are too long to be one shots, but too short for the long fics:

♡ 1. Just A Dash Of Fairy-maldehyde:  Brendon had never expected to even meet a real nymph, let alone fall for one.

so so so cute!!!!!!!!!!!! the story line sounds weird, but honestly it’s not at all?? the author totally works it. ryan is flustered so easily and it’s adorable. it’s written by the lovely @buttercupross give her a follow and check out her writing! it’s amazing, and so is she. 14,914 words. 

♡ 2. What We Invented: Now Brendon really doesn’t mind having boys in his bed, especially pretty ones and the one currently occupying his sheets seems quite pretty. It’s just…he likes to know who the boys in his bed are and he has absolutely no idea who this boy is.

ryan is so strange in this but it’s a good strange so it’s okay. the joncer is also so cute like? bill beckett is ryan’s roommate. 7,411 words. 

3. Let Me Down, Charlie Brown or How Jon Walker Saved Christmas:  Christmas time at the mall sucks, especially for those who work there. Brendon has given up on Christmas, Ryan is uptight, and Jon just wants to help. 

pete dresses up in a santa costume and patrick is in an elf one. brendon works in a pet shop and spencer always somehow always knows shit. 13,239 words.

4. Love in Bloom: Ryan Ross is a normal boy who struggles with his past. Can one rose seller at the side of the road help Ryan remember the past while still living in the present?

i’m pretty sure i had a revelation while reading this. i remember crying after reading this. a lot. 12,000 words. 

5. The Interpretation of Dreams: “I think something’s wrong with me,” Brendon tried to explain. “I basically have dreams so great that they kind of make real life pale in comparison. But not so great that I can tell the difference when I dream.” “And this… is a problem?” Spencer looked skeptical.

this fic was also really sad. very well written. so much pent up emotion. 20,000 words. 

6.  The Laundromat: Ryan doesn’t want to know the names of the people who come into the Laundromat. He doesn’t want to know what makes Tattoo Guy talk to Guy Who Never Showers. He doesn’t, but a new customer might just undermine all the work he’s done to distance himself from the world.

ryan’s names for people are pretty funny. features joncer, frerard, gabilliam, and peterick. 20,427 words. 

7. Silver Roses: Happiness doesn’t grow on trees - but maybe it grows on rosebushes. 

there’s slight william beckett/jon walker which was a first. spencer is evil. this is kinda a cinderella au. cute. 23,000 words. 

8. Brendon Urie: Pet Detective: Ryan Ross is the new kennel attendant at Thompson & Thompson Vet Clinic. When he meets his co-worker, Jon Walker, they begin to discover dogs disappearing from their kennels. When Ryan’s own dog, Hobo, goes missing, Jon Walker knows exactly who to call.

i almost gasped out loud when i found out who took hobo. pretty creative. 18,000 words.

♡ 9. Just One Of The Girls:  “Spence, I’m. Look, I’m going to prove this girl-thing to you, okay? I’m going to,” he held up his hands, “this is so brilliant, I’m going to become a girl.”

pretty hilarious. ryan turns into a girl. vicky t is amazing. 20,830 words. 

♡ 10. Every Speck of Dust Illuminated: “Z Berg.” Brendon pauses dramatically for effect. “Is a witch.”

Jon drags a spoon through the foam to draw a four leaf clover, complete with stem. Brendon admires it for a second.

“Brendon,” Jon sighs. “I know you don’t like that Ryan is spending so much time with her, but you don’t get to go around saying shit about people.”

Spine stiffening, Brendon responds as levelly as he can manage, “This has nothing to do with Ryan. Well, besides the fact that he’s hanging out with a witch.” 

Elizabeth Ann Berg is a witch. (and there is Charlotte the cat, Ryan the oblivious, and Brendon the hopelessly infatuated.)

you need an account for the link to work. it doesn’t take very long to make one and it’s free. but, this fic is pretty good and ryan is an old man. not literally, he just dresses like one. 15,931 words. 

♡ 11. For Whatever You Loose: You can’t always get what you want - unless you fish it out of the ocean.

mermaid au!! brendon and jon are mermaids and ryan and spencer are humans. brendon is so cute. 14,500 words. 

♡ 12. You’re Going to Recycle That, Right?: The one where Ryan is a hippie college environmentalist and Brendon just wants a better music auditorium. Featuring Ryan Ross chaining himself to a tree.

ryan is pretty hilarious and smokes a lot of pot with jon. the ending is really cute. 10,600 words.

13. Because You Looks Like A Jackass: Apartment AU! Basically: Brendon’s just moved into town. He courts Ryan Ross with flowery words and also a coat rack. He falls flat on his face. 

brendon is honestly so weird in this but it’s kind of endearing and cute. 7,600 words.

♡ 14. Serenade In Blue: Brendon makes Ryan stupid.

brendon likes ryan and ryan likes brendon but they both have no idea. ryan acts really weird when brendon is around and even more when he’s singing, it’s hilarious. z berg is the greatest. 8,013 words.   

♡ 15. This Happy Ending’s Just Beginning: The Disneyland parade has evolved into an all-singing, all-dancing extravaganza and Brendon wants to be part of it. Unfortunately there aren’t a lot of opportunities for the guy who sells knick-knacks by the park gates. Enter Ryan, the parade’s current star attraction, who might just have a plan to get Brendon everything he always wanted.

disney au!! my heart melted. spencer hates everyone, overall really amazing. 28,348 words.

  16. You Got A Crew? (I Got A Crew Too): AU. Every June, in the world of Las Vegas hair care, it’s all about one thing: the Annual Services Survey. Can struggling hairdresser Brendon Urie and his coworkers finally win over rival salon Cobra Starship? Shenanigans ensue as they battle it out, all while Brendon struggles to keep his eye on the prize—and away from that cute but prickly reporter.

i kept avoiding this fic for some reason? i wish i hadn’t though, it’s hilarious and the pranks are hysterical. one of my favorites. 24,000 words.

here, my friends are 41 of really good ryden fics totally worth your time. if you ever have any questions, don’t be afraid to hit up my ask box. oh, and i apologize for the sucky descriptions, i’m not good at summaries. i tried including fics that i haven’t seen everywhere, so that you can get some new fics. please let me know if the links aren’t working.

make sure to take care of yourselves and read the warnings that the links give before reading. happy reading!

[newagesispage]

                                                        MARCH              2019

 PAGE RIB

***** And the men who hold high places must be the ones to start, to mold a new reality closer to the heart. -RUSH

*****The most heroic word in all languages is revolution. – Eugene Debs

***** Words cannot begin to say how I feel about the death of Peter Tork. To lose another Monkee is heartbreaking. It is the circle of life and all things must pass and all the things we say but this one is hard. As they sang themselves, “you say we’re manufactured, to that we all agree” but that was only the beginning. The Monkees are very special  to me and mine. Oh sure, some make fun of us for our loyalty and some just don’t get it but this band is a thread thru my life like no other. I always call Davy, ‘the gateway Monkee’ because almost everyone loves him first, he draws you in. Davy seemed cute and talented and not at all imposing and we fall for him. Once you know that you are a fan for life, you find your lifetime Monkee and or you just appreciate the non- manufactured parts.  Some of the best memories of my life involve listening to Monkees , from my childhood bedroom to the party residence I had with my teen friends to my child’s childhood bedroom to seeing them LIVE in concert with my son and my sisters. We all understand every reference and we never tired of HEAD, the movie and Micky still makes me swoon.  In my family, our middle sister is into Mike and my baby sister was the Torkee . Go in Peace sweet Pete. You may have played the dummy but you never really were to us.*** Peter died of a rare form of cancer called adenoid cystic carcinoma, cancer of the salivary glands. He and his family asked for donations to be made to the institute for the musical arts in Massachusetts, a non -profit that provides young women with music education, recording and community.

***** Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker has announced his budget which includes proposals to legalize recreational marijuana, legalize sports gambling, increase cigarette tax and put taxes in e- cigs and plastic bags.

***** Colin Kaepernick settled with the NFL.**The league will forever have to live with the fact that it was complicit in destroying someone’s career simply because he wished to bring attention to the injustice suffered by his people.- Jemel Hill

***** The new Diane Keaton film, Poms, a definite chick flick ,looks, warm, funny, sad and uplifting. Look for it in May.

***** Looking forward to Larry Charles’ dangerous world of comedy.

***** U.S. Coast Guard officer Chris Hasson has been arrested in an apparent Dem murder plot. No wonder Alec Baldwin is worried, these threats really do exist in this climate.

***** Former Maine Governor Paul LePage spent up to $1,100 a night on stays at Trump hotels with state money. Why do so many politicians think the people’s money is their piggy bank?

***** Amazon pulled out of its NY deal after protests. It seems terrible to me to give big incentives to the richest man in the world but the country needs good jobs. It wasn’t like they were going to just hand cash to Bezos. The 3 billion tax subsidy would have only gone to the company if they produced big revenue. People have the right to have a say in their neighborhoods and the will of the people should be done. In the end the decision was Amazon’s.  Next stop?? Nobody knows.

***** Oil lobbyist David Bernhardt will head the interior department.**The new deputy in the EPA, David Dunlap, former Koch industry official was quietly put in place in October. He helped to decide that we won’t set chemical limits on drinking water.

***** Saw Rich Hall recently on something and he got even hotter.

*****So, This seemed like the worst Super Bowl ever. Can we just say football is over already?

***** Cory Booker is so full of sound bites, I mean he never shuts up. Good ideas or not, I think it would get on our nerves.

***** Ok, Michael Moore, we all know U R awesome but U need to watch when they mike you for talk fests because your chin waddle often hits it and it blunts your message. Also.. Boycott Starbucks to fuck with a former CEO so he won’t run for Pres??? C’mon.. U will mostly be hurting the innocent workers who need those jobs, U R for the little guy and so that is just dumb.** Michael Moore is also one of the subjects on a current Finding your Roots on PBS which involves Quakers and slaves.

***** Mormon David Matheson, known for his masters degree in counseling and guidance that he used for gay conversion therapy has announced that he is gay.

***** Thank you John Roberts and the other liberal Supreme Court justices for blocking a new abortion law in La.

***** So glad to see Dirk Blocker and Joel Mckinnon Miller get bumped to the opening credits on Brooklyn 99. It’s about time. We will miss ya Chelsea.

***** The Directors Guild held their awards soiree and honored Alfonso Cuaron, Bo Burnham, Ben Stiller and Tim Wardle. I was thrilled to see love for Adam Mckay for Succession and Bill Hader for Barry. How fucking awesome is that??

***** Rosanna Arquette is joining the cats of Ratched with Finn Whitrock, Amanda Plummer and Sharon Stone. Sarah Paulson will produce for Netflix.

***** The Scary Clown administration has sold military equipment to the UAE and Saudi Arabia that is now driven by Al Qaeda.

***** Japan nominated Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize that they say was requested by the U.S.

***** The State of the Union came and went with more ridiculous slow teleprompter talk. He seemed delighted when he mentioned jobs for women and ow they got elected. The women cheered as they all wore white to commemorate the suffragettes. He was glad to take credit for all their votes. ** We must thank Patton Oswalt for inventing the phrase ‘fuck you clap’ when he saw the way Nancy Pelosi responded to Trump.** “Best State of the Union speech in my lifetime delivered by the best POTUS since George Washington.”- Jerry Falwell.

***** Adam Schiff has announced new investigations into the Presidents finances. Trump is currently in the middle of 17 investigations. He has also written an open letter to his colleagues. He has asked those in congress to come out of the shadows. He claims that privately they tell him to keep doing what he is doing when he calls out the Pres. but he wants them to get some balls and say this in public.

***** The latest in men and their sexual quirks: Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots was arrested for soliciting prostitutes who are allegedly victims of sexual trafficking. He was next seen at an Oscar party.** A Bishop admitted that the church destroyed loads of files concerning sexual abuse allegations.

***** Get ready for season 2 of At home with Amy Sedaris. Woo Hoo!!

***** You Tube Premium has brought us Weird City which looks great!!

***** A judge in North Carolina voided mandates that required photo ID’s to vote. Hooray, one for the good guys!!

***** Amy Klobuchar is running for President.

***** The Justice Department has opened a probe into the plea deal given to Jeff Epstein for rape that was made by Secretary Acosta.

***** Virginia seems to be in a lot of trouble when it comes to racism, sexual harassment and politics.

***** Subpoena’s show that all parts of Trumps life, business, personal, charity, campaign, are now under investigation.

***** The National debt has topped $22 trillion for the first time.** It is all such a show. This administration is like when I used to go to the Pentecostal church where they speak in tongues or like calling a psychic , believing a televangelist even after there is proof he is stealing their money or reading a National Enquirer. It is a show built to entertain with no substance and filled with lies. The flock holds signs that say’ build the wall’ until he tells them to hold signs that say ‘finish the wall’ and they do. I mean, do they really believe him or do they just love a dictator because they can’t think for themselves?? It is impossible to figure these people out. Scary Clown is easy to figure but the followers?? How do we relate to these people?? He declares a national emergency for something he has screamed about since day one and only now is it bad enough to declare and yet he signs a deal which Rand Paul called, “massive, bloated and secretive.” The deal gave him 1.375 mil for ‘fences’ and an increase in spending for homeland security. His signature does keep the government open. Why didn’t they give him his money when they had the house and the Senate and Paul Ryan was in charge?? It seems he and Mitch would rather throw shade at the Dems and show that he can throw his weight around. It was unforgiveable to see the damage that caused. The Lincoln home national historic site is taking steps to keep the home open next time, just in case. What we have here is a giant smokescreen for all his nefarious wrongdoing.** The true emergency is taking place in his skull. -Stephen Colbert

***** Pelosi warns that a declaration of emergency could start things down a dangerous road. She warns as an example that a Democratic Pres may use it to get guns under control or something. I am sure Mitch and the boys are not worried. They probably think (and perhaps rightly) that Dems wouldn’t go that far because they have a conscious and follow the rules.

***** Of course, it is probably icing on the cake for the wallers but it is fucking with the butterfly habitat. They are already clearing spots to put up this wall and it is messing up the natural butterfly migration.** Ted Cruz says that El Chapo should pay for the wall.

***** GO NON SEQUITUR!!!!!!! Go Wiley Miller!!!

***** Governor Cuomo signed the child victims act into law. Victims of sexual abuse will have until age 55 to file civil lawsuits and seek criminal charges until age 28.

***** Matt Whitaker went to congress to testify. He agreed to talk but only if he weren’t subpoenaed. Whitaker dodged and weaved the whole time.  He did say that he never denied funds to Mueller and that he never spoke to Trump about the investigation.

***** Calling a black POTUS married 25 years to 1 wife with 2 children, no mistresses, affairs or scandals, ‘the antichrist’ but a white POTUS married thrice, 5 kids by 3 women, mistresses, affairs and scandals, “God’s anointed, proves your religion is white supremecy. –Bishop Talbert Swan.

***** Former Fox news talking head, Lea Gabrielle has been appointed special envoy and coordinator of global engagement to counter foreign propaganda disinformation.

***** Andrew McCabe has a new book, The Threat: How the FBI protects America in the age of terror and Trump.

***** Trumps El Paso rally was a bit more raucus than usual. We all know these things are just gonna get worse. BBC photojournalist Ron Sleans was attacked by a man yelling, “enemy of the people.”

***** The latest in sexual harassment news: A report found at least 700 victims of Southern Baptist church leaders and volunteers. And people wonder why members are leaving religion.** Ryan Adams is being looked at for sexually inappropriate behavior with a minor that involves skype and texts. Several women have accused him in a Times article. Technology gets ‘em everytime.

***** Illinois is headed toward a $15 minimum wage by 2025. It will kick off with a $1 bump in January.

***** This can’t be right: 1.6 million Americans don’t have indoor plumbing.

***** Oh how I wish the original cast of Cuckoo could all get back together.

***** Check out George Takei’s new graphic memoir, They Called Us Enemy. The story is about his experience in the internment camps.

***** Modern Family will end after the 11th season.

***** Jeff Bezos wrote an essay about the despicable way that the Enquirer threatened to blackmail him. He put it right out there like Letterman. It really does show how guys like Trump and Pecker do business. Is this all some elaborate plan by God to weed out all these selfish, soulless fuckers?? I mean why do so many men feel so worthless that they have to assert themselves so forcefully? Why do they bully women and hide their inadequacies?  Why do they impose their beliefs with a vengeance by calling it the will of God or the will of the people?? ** Ronan Farrow and other journalists are coming forward to tell tales of how the Enquirer threatened them as well. Surprise! More bullies!** AMI is broke with a net worth of negative $200 million. Why did it take so long? **Amazon made $11 billion and it seems they don’t have to pay any taxes.

***** The Iowa caucuses are just 1 year away.

***** Candace Payne is a beautiful soul who has now started a whole new movement for the homeless. She bought 30 rooms for the homeless when the cold plunged below zero. The word went out and before it was all over, with the help of others, they assisted 122 people.  It got Candace to thinking that she could use her job in real estate to flip houses to start housing the homeless.

***** I find myself getting excited about the Lion King coming this summer.

***** The house is working on the issues of guns which may get lost in the shuffle of all the other news. Go Go Go!!

***** The Grammys went wild for women this year with a record number of wins. I was so excited to see Jimmy Carter win his third for his audiobook, Faith: A Journey for all. Dave Chapelle and Weird Al both won. Buddy Guy won for best Trad Blues and Willie won for best Trad pop vocal. And hooray for Greta Van Fleet for best rock album. The best song in years to me was awarded Best rap/sung performance to Childish Gambino for This is America.  Joy Villa had a MAGA purse and Rebel wore a Trump jacket.** Best dressed, to me, were Fred Armisen, Angela Aquilal, Saint Heart, Maren Morris, Jameel Jamil, James Blake, Cardi B and Lady Gaga. The WTF goes to Andrea Echeverri .

***** The BAFTA’s happened the same night as the Grammys. Roma wins the top prize and grabs director too. The Favourite won big. Olivia Colman and Rami Malek took home prizes. Black Panther was awarded for visual effects. I was so happy to see Blackkklansman get the nod for adapted screenplay. ** I thought the best dressed were Timothee Chalamet, Regina King, Yalitza Apamcio and Duchess Kate. The WTF goes to Margot Robbie

***** Judd Apatow is producing 2 new projects. We will have a gay rom com with Billy Eichner and a semi -autobiographical comedy from Pete Davidson.

***** Payless Shoe Source will be a thing of the past.

***** So yes, we have 4% unemployment and 69% feel good about the economy but credit card debt is bigger than ever and those making late payments are at a record high.

***** Alexandria Ocasio Cortez has yet to set up a district office.

***** Everyone is talking about a Golden Girls cruise that will set sail next year.

***** CNN has hired Michael Caputo and Corey Lewandowski.

***** Tulsi Gabbard is running for President.

***** Bernie Sanders is running for President.

***** This Jussie Smollett thing gets stranger all the time. He was arrested for his lies and charged with paying people to beat him. He allegedly wanted more pay at Empire and some publicity.  He got the publicity but was written off Empire. We will see how things play out.

***** Studies show that blueberries may be as effective as some meds for high blood pressure.

***** R Kelly was arrested finally. I think Chicago PD is tired of messing around.

***** Insulin prices have more than doubled in the last few years. In the first 2 days of 2019, 286 drug prices went up in price. Bernie Sanders has introduced a bill to cut drug costs by cutting out special interests.

***** The 91st Oscars went off without a host. Queen with Adam Lambert opened the show in probably the best Oscar opening I have ever seen. It seemed to make everybody happy!! My best dressed were Billy Porter, Willem Dafoe, Adam Lambert, Melissa McCarthy, Helen Mirren, Michelle Yeoh, Henry Golding, Chadwick Boseman, Kelly Ripa, Jordan Peele, Lay Gaga, Leslie Bibb, Chelsea Peretti, Bette Midler, my Adams, Regina King and Dana Guirira. The WTF was Gemma Chan. I did not think Brian Tyree Henry was all that best dressed but he is so fucking talented and so fucking hot. Give this guy some awards!! Rami Malek won  best actor and fell off the stage. Olivia Colman was the only real surprise. It was great to see Spike Lee win for writing and I am glad he made a statement but what about the other guys with you? I was really pulling for BlacKkKlansman or Black Panther for best pic but it went to Green Book. A lot of people grumbled about that. It really does seem that Tina, Amy and Mia should just host everything, no controversy there.

***** So, Michael Cohen testified 2 days behind closed doors and 1 day for the public. That was a thing! Why did all the southern republicans behave as if we are all idiots and not worth a thought from their fine selves? Besides Trump and his family and cohorts, I never saw humans so righteous, so smug. How dare they call this Cohen testimony a circus after the circus we have all been subject to from this scary clown 45. Carol Miller did not even seem to care that our President is a crook. She just wanted to denigrate Cohen. She was concerned that they couldn’t be looking into real issues like child separation. Are you fucking kidding me? Ya’ll created this problem and now you are concerned?  The weirdest was questioning from Kelly Armstrong, I mean what was wrong with him, he was shaking like he needed a fix or he was on a coke binge. Jamie Raskin called him “frantic and unhinged”. I thought it was just my tv until I heard that. How do we take these people seriously? They actually printed a sign for the occasion that read’ liar, liar, pants on fire.’ They are talking about BIG, REAL problems with our leader. Don’t get me wrong, Cohen is a liar and deserves to go to prison but it should not just be him. There are many complicit in these dastardly deeds. Cohen claims he has threatened people aprox. 500 times for his former boss, Donald J. Trump. Russian collusion was not really cleared up for he did not have any direct info just speculation. Cohen did however feel that Trump would have never hit his wife or had a love child. He looked into it and found nothing to support these claims which, in my mind, made him believable. It also sounds like CFO Allen Weisselberg and the Trump children are just as guilty as Trump himself. It looks like they will now have to testify as well. And how can we believe anything from the President when his ego allows him to fuck with charity money just to jack up the price of his own portrait and manipulates polls so he looks good?  There was much more to see and I suggest you look it all up on C-span if you missed it. There is more to come as Cohen tells us there are many things being investigated that he can’t even comment on. The highlights to me were his opening statement, the financial questioning from Alexandria Ocasio Cortez and chairman of the oversight committee’s Elijah Cummings closing. It’s not like we haven’t heard this stuff before. All roads lead to this al making sense. Anybody who paid attention before Trump was President would know his character.** Republican congressman Matt Gaetz tweeted a threat to Michael Cohen about his alleged girlfriend. The President and his thugs sure are open about their intimidation, no shame at all.

***** The prototypes of the wall were demolished. An owl flew out of one of them.

***** Wal Mart is eliminating the greeter position. It was about the only thing I admired about them. The elderly and disabled are fucked out of another job. Way to go.

***** Isreal Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is being indicted for bribery and fraud.

***** I will never understand this obsession with money.

***** Farmers are finding it tough. They do not want welfare and many of their loans have become delinquent. The tariffs and low crop prices are really hurting our farmers.

***** If you ever watch Seth Meyers, the wrap up of the Oscars from’ Amber says what’ was her best yet. Check it out!

***** Days alert: More Adrienne please, give her a story!**

***** The trailer for Jordan Peele’s new Twilight Zone looks fucking amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***** R.I.P. Alsa Mashzoub, Kristoff St. John, Julie Adams, Albert Finney, James Ingram, Frank Robinson, John Dingee , the Aurora shooting victims, Lee Radziwill, David Horowitz, Karl Lagerfeld, those lost in the Bangladesh fire, Fred Foster, Stanley Donen, Mark Hollis, Jackie Shane, Peter Tork and Gail Reynolds.