#not to be that guy but ive been really sick for the entire month

[hatterstan-shameblog]

finally got the fic ive been working on for 3 weeks almost done, tried to save the draft, and none of it was kept so i have to redo the whole thing 🙃 metaphor for my life right now

[hassianlovebot]

disregard entire fucking post im stupid as fuck bro

[mommymccabe]

Ooh, ive got one, Katie McCabe x reader, where Katie basically spends every bit of free time shes not training or with friends flirting with and trying to fluster the reader despite her stormy stoic nature and it turns out the reader is just a really big softie for katie but tries really hard to hide it in front of the others. That's not all I've got for it, but I'll leave it entirely for you to perceive and deduce the plot and stuff 😅

Pairing: Katie McCabe x reader

Warnings: fluff, swearing

Summary: Katie is always getting under your skin, you finally get her back.

Word count: 800

an: i apologise for the wait, i’ve been sick and had no motivation but im working through the requests. hope you enjoy :) x

________________________________

Training today had been exhausting and really took it out of you. As you and Leah walk to the change rooms, you feel someone run up behind you and wrap their arms around you. You jump and scream, trying to get away until you hear;

‘Calm down y/l/n, it’s just me.’ Katie says with a smirk.

You turn and face her with an unimpressed look on your face.

‘Katie stop fucking doing that. You give me a heart attack every time.’ You whine

‘But it’s so so funny to see you freak out.’ Katie laughs, Leah joining her.

You turn to look at your best friend.

‘Really? Rude!’ You yell.

Leah simply shrugs at you before continuing walking to the change rooms, you and Katie following closely behind.

‘You know, you looked really hot out there. Gotta say, watching you run around and just dominate. Very attractive’ The Irish woman states from beside you.

She always does that, makes comments like that to get under your skin, get a rise out of you. It always works. You always end up a blushing, shy mess despite trying your best to keep your composure. She just does something to you, it’s hard to explain.

You don’t make eye contact with her as you continue walking, you hear Leah let out a giggle in front of you and as you arrive at the change rooms, a loud bang is followed by a loud;

‘Shut it Leah!’ from you, confusing the rest of the team in the change room.

As the three of you walk in, all eyes are on you, making your scowl disappear as you walk straight over to your locker and sit down. A quick moment of eye contact with everyone has them averting their gaze and focusing on what they’re doing.

‘So y/n, you free tonight?’ Katie asks with a smile.

‘Nope, got a hot date’ You reply quickly.

All eyes are back on you. You never go out, maybe to a team bonding night once a week but you rarely go anywhere to anyone else’s knowledge.

‘Oh yeah? what a lucky lady’ Katie says with a wink.

‘Whatever McCabe’ you mumble paired with an eye roll before looking at the ground, a small smile taking over your face.

You and Katie had been dating for 6 months, yet no one on the team knew, not even Leah. You felt bad for lying to your best friend but you wanted to get to know Katie on your own before making a big deal out of your relationship. But her nonstop comments and flirting makes you feel giddy and so in love. You try your best to hide it from the rest of the team but it’s getting harder.

‘You’re going on a date!?’ Leah asks from your left.

‘Yes I am. Is that really surprising? Jeez thanks guys’ you mumble with a laugh.

‘Yeah! It is! You never go anywhere, must be one special gal’ Caitlin pipes up from across the room and her and Steph share a look.

‘Nah, she’s okay’ you say nonchalantly, watching Katie out of the corner of your eye.

You watch her roll her eyes before she quickly says,

‘I could treat you better’ with a cocky smirk as she makes eye contact with you, arms resting on her knees, showing off her muscular arms. The sight has you starstruck. You can’t help but admire her beauty and body. Damn were you lucky. A quick blush takes over your face before you focus on packing your bag. You don’t respond and watch as everyone laughs at Katie’s confidence. You both talked about telling the team last night, you just didn’t expect her to be so bold with it and she definitely wasn’t expecting you to say;

‘Well, considering it’s you taking me out, i’m not sure it works like that, love’ you say with a proud smile on your face.

You watch with amusement as Katie is now the one blushing and stuttering. The team around you erupts with questions and shocked looks.

‘You two are dating??’ Leah nearly screams.

You just laugh before walking over to Katie, pulling her in for a quick kiss before walking out of the room.

‘What the actual fuck just happened’ Steph says as the room explodes with questions directed at Katie. You continue down the hall with a smile on your face followed by a;

‘Y/n you little shit’ as Katie leaves the room as quick as she can and catches up to you.

At least the team knows now.

_______________________________

[balkanradfem]

im feeling completely lost and confused. im in high school right now. a few months ago, I rejected a guy who had been pursuing me for a year. in order to take revenge, he created deep fakes of my pics and shared them in his locker room group chats. I only discovered this yesterday even though it happened two months ago. Im terrified. when i spoke to my mom about it, she slapped me and blamed me for being friends with him. i had no idea he had such intentions. I'm not trying to portray myself as a victim, but the hateful comments and slut shaming ive received have really taken a toll on me. I wanna kms 😭

Noooo!!

I am so sorry, this is none of your fault at all, a few years ago something like that couldn't even happen! There was no way to predict or fight this, it can happen to any woman at any moment now because males are parasites who destroy what they cannot control. This was done to you because this worthless piece of shit wanted to cause maximum amount of pain to you, because he couldn't force you to belong to him, it's vile, disgusting, and absolutely atrocious, you doxx him and we'll all gang up on him and have him wanting to end his life instead.

I can only imagine what kind of harassment and hate you're receiving right now, the safest thing to do is to get away from all technology, this amount of abuse can cost your life and nothing is worth that. Horrible, worthless people would go and harass a girl who has been violated with a hate crime for no fucking reason. They're not representatives of who you are, what you're worth, or what you should be treated; they're the most worthless scum who shouldn't be allowed to breathe. Nothing they say about you is true or deserved! Even thinking about being such pathetic lowlife to go and harass a teenage girl makes me sick, these people should also get doxxed and receive the same hatred back about themselves.

You've done nothing wrong ever, you are the victim here and the world needs to put measures in place to protect young women from this. I can imagine also wanting to end my life if something like this had happened to me, and we can't allow these things to go on, males who do this need to be extremely punished and if I had it my way they would all be executed.

Also what the hell is wrong with your mother! I am judging her so hard, she should be there to support you so you can get trough this alive, I can't believe she has the nerve to blame you and to inflict violence upon you when you already have to deal with this entire hell. Honestly doxx her too so I can yell at her.

[lucyfrankenstein]

guys ok ok ok back to my college dilemna..... just got accepted to my college back home which is scarier because i have an actual choice. on the one hand staying here is less complicated and probably better for my independence and i think im starting to like college again and i might have like one new friend. ccons however. my best friend who convinced me to come to college with her is going to mexico for. the next six months and for the past year shes literally been the only person ive seen in person through entire quarters. so im really scared what's going to happen if things get bad again when she leaves. but i am more excited about college than i was even though im taking bad classes next quarter and i could get a job here but im also so scared because i wont even have a safety net of my friend if it gets bad again and if i go home i will at least have my family. i dont know its making me so anxious. afformentuoned friend's dad said he transfered junior year which honestly sounds like maybe sensible but also what if i want to travel abroad id proabblky have to stick with a single college. also if i double major in something would it be better to stay for an extra year??? i have so many fucking questions and i feel sick and evil that i dont know what to do

[eldritchmochi]

hey, what symptoms is masculinizing hrt supposed to treat for eds exactly if you don't mind? saw your ask about dwarfism that mentioned it. ive got heds and im kinda desperate for potential treatment options, wondering if this is smth i should look into?

SO: this is all anecdotal, it is not necessarily a great global treatment for many many reasons but if youre an afab edser and already considering hrt, things i and others have noticed T helping with are:

joint pain/subluxations: higher levels of t seem to help because thats the hormone that helps you build and maintain muscle, and muscle when u have shitty connective tissue helps protect and stabilize your joints, so they hurt less because they flop around less (this may also be why eds is more commonly seen in afab folks, as amab folks especially cis men have more muscle from the get go, so they often have less issues)

chronic pain in general: my theory is that, since i have fewer subluxations, im generally a smidge less globally inflamed, so generally a smidge less pain (very subjective tho, and also i started taking regular nsaids a few months into t, so ymmv)

less fatigue, particularly after physical activity: i have no theories on why for this one (and its also pretty subjective, especially cos fatigue can be related to so many things when youre multiply disabled, like many edsers are)

less cold/dizzy, presumably from better circulation: t can increase your blood volume iirc, as well as give you bigger veins and whathaveyou

easier blood draws: again, bigger veins, easier to hit with a needle. ymmv still based on hydration etc, and mine are still bouncy and tend to roll, but more often than not if i am well hydrated most phlebotomists can get me in one stick, compared to even experienced phlebotomists needing to dig around at best

and then a small handful of other benefits ive noticed relating to collagen, like i have fewer random scrapes and bruises, presumably because my skin is a little thicker now and thus a little more resistant to damage, plus my nails and hair are less likely to break (tho idk how much of that is related to eds as a whole and how much is just my family)

i am currently doing .2ml subq injections every 7-10 days and noticed substantially more positive effect when i was at a weekly .3ml subq dose, however i ran so hot that i turned into Shorts In Winter Guy, and i hated it especially since i circled around to being so sweaty i was sick from it, so i backed off a lot. during the 18ish months i was on a .3ml dose tho, i think i had <10 subluxations the entire span, compared to >10 on average in any given week for years prior. on .2ml im experiencing significantly more subluxations, but still <10 a month, and theyre less impactful (often its waking up with one ankle not quite in place, which settles after a few minutes of movement)

of note though, my experiences are as someone who was significantly impacted by heds starting at age 14-15, and im 33 now, whereas i have a friend on a much lower dose of t (not sure the amount, but theyre doing gel) with great effect still, as someone of comparable age but who was less impacted until relatively recently due to spending their youth and early 20s physically active in a variety of ways i did Not lmao

ive seen several other transmasc edsers discuss anecdotally the benefits theyve seen from being on T, and the geneticist i saw when i was finally dx'd earlier this year mentioned her familiarity with the same benefits learned thru patients, so its a thing some doctors ARE aware of, there just havent been many, if any, formal studies (because of course not (: ). if you were already kicking around hrt for The Genders, absolutely recommend going for it. if you have The Genders and maybe havent considered T before, i think its definitely worth researching and pondering. not sure i would really recommend it to someone who was cis, but there are ways to mitigate a number of masculine secondary sex characteristics spawned from T so i dont think its off the table for everyone, you would just need to find a very clever experienced doctor for it

also of note is i experienced benefits VERY quickly, within 6-8 weeks of a .25ml/week dose, and in that span most of the effects of t are not permanent or otherwise fairly negligible, so there isnt a ton of risk imo to test it to see if its worth it for you. just be aware that, because of the collagen thing and the way vocal cords work, your voice WILL drop and it will drop IMMEDIATELY (however, even if your voice drops a ton, you can still sound fully passibly feminine with a little practice and knowledge)

[19871997]

NEED to read a natemac cmd fic kind of desperately now. Um. also thinking about the people connecting them… off the top of my head, sidcros, tyson barrie, mitch marner? like. cmd in cole harbor like I Am Here To See Sid. Uh. Definitely The Only Reason. ALSOOO weren’t they on that one golf trip together with sidcros and marner too???

GUYS. i cant believe we forgot. team north america. they were actually teammates at some point. also according to my personal favourite nhl related site hockey teammates notable shared teammates, outside of tbarrie, include: aaron ekblad (more 1oa connections and such, via tna), am34 (see aaron ekblad), nail yakupov (rip), our beloved rnh (on tna, more 1oa angst and such, something something rnh seeing how connor is w leon and then how he is w natemac at the world cup and then having a sit down with him), jeichel, JODROU ! (team north america i miss u every single day, something something jodrou having a sit down w natemac 'we broke up three years ago bud either fuck mcdavid or stop flirting with him for all our sakes'), calvin pickard, and also burakovsky and macdermid who were both on the otters w connor and the avs w nate

ALSO. somehow over the years nate's turned into connor's most consistent hook up (they were messing about during tna, spilled over into the regular season - not every time they played each other because sometimes they really do have to dip out the city as soon as they've taken their skates off, but nearly every time, and the all star game is. well. like sure, its entirely for fans and to make money but watching connor win fastest skater year on year... sometimes the competancy kink wins out over the competitiveness) and OBVIOUSLY. this changes during the 2022 playoff series (connor has some misplaced blame in the anger/disapointment post-ecf (probably knows it's misplaced but wallows in his misery), airs nate's texts and calls and the tiktoks and tweets he sends him entirely, cannot think about him without thinking about how much pain leon was in during that series, can't watch him lift the cup, can't watch him be so fucking proud of cale, without feeling sick with jealousy, and obviously someone (rnh/tbarrie..?) notices how he's so weird about it all and connor's insistent that it has nothing to do w how they were hooking up ('it's not just hooking up if it's been going on since 2016, connor' 'what else would you call it?' 'the most annoying courtship ive ever had to witness. i just got here from the leafs, connor') and that he can in fact be super normal just in general and maybe this is the natural end of their situationship ('you are way too old to be using words like 'situationship', tyson' 'who just got asked about their biological clock, connor') and its fine. really) AND THEN sid extends an invitation to connor (and to leon becuase lbr sidcros INVENTED the hockey boybestfriends who cant do anything without each other) to train at gary's that summer and connor accepts a bit too quickly knowing he'll have to sweet talk it to his agent a bit because he did agree to biosteel like, six months ago, but cmon it's sid! and in the euphoria of training at gary's (max. 20 people) instead of biosteel (half the damn gta) it slips his mind that cole harbour's second son will also be there until leon reminds him when he facetimes him. ('are you sure training with crosby is worth seeing your ex for half the summer?' 'dylan's at biosteel' '...' 'leon i have got to quit the nhl. he's not even my ex.'). ANYWAY. training at gary's also involves jonathan drouin and it's fun for connor to see what nate's like around someone he really does care about, instead of, say, a fuckbuddy and leon notices him be so fucking weird about drouin and connor's watching sidney freaking crosby and brad freaking marchand do puck battle drills in nova freaking scotia when he realises he might actually have a crush on nathan mackinnon. who's flirting with jo drouin so aggressively connor has half a mind to send a text into the old erie group chat sincerely apologising for when he was clumsily trying to flirt with dylan. (leon tells him later that helping jo with his wristshot is not actually flirting, because helping someone with thier job is not flirting, and connor mortifyingly realises that all those times leon wanted help with his stick dangles back in hte day he was not flirting. leon also tells him that he has got to get his jealously under control before jo notices, because he really doesn't deserve to get caught in all this, connor). something something eventually jo does talk to him and ends up asking if he's with leon 'out of curiosity, you guys seem close' and connor can't help himself but ask similarly about nate -> 'we messed around as kids, years and years ago, but he, uh, has his eye on someone' -> connor pretends he isnt crushed about it, because he's not, obviously, and just because nate's been connor's most consistent hook up definately doesnt mean that connor was nate's, and connor can kind of only assume it's cale, or quite literally anyone else in the denver area (is there a greater denver area? it's not really connor's bussiness to know, anymore or ever, really) -> connor and nate FINALLY. talk

maybe at the fated golf trip w sid and mitch? mitch is making nate laugh and giggle and connor realises he has it really fucking bad when he thinks that he wants to be hte one to make nate laugh like that. jesus christ -> ends up coming last by an insanely large margin -> after nate's like let me make you feel better, and they havent done this since the regular season, and jo told him that nate likes someone, and connor just, can't, be a convenient hook up for him anymore, because he knows the way these things go and he knows that the smart thing to do is to quit while youre ahead and failing that, pull the parachute when you're falling, not when youre crashing into the ocean, and nate thinks. either he can respect that, and that's fine, or he can push, just a little, because it's connor and he's pretty sure he's been a bit in love with him since team north america (and tyson has a tendancy to tell him that he falls in love with his friends as easy as breathing, but it's a different type with connor, because he loves cale, he loves gabe, he loves EJ and tyson and jo, and yeah sure he's a little bit in love with all of them, but connor he's wholly in love with, so much so that he doesnt really know what to do with himself, doesn't know what to do when he sees oilers admin post clips of him, leon and tyson messing around, or when he sees him and ekblad turn back into sixteen year olds with eachother or when he sees the way he sticks to leon's side like there's nowhere else he can be, wants to accept that he wouldnt even crack top ten of connor's list of people he cares a lot about, but.) anwya. -> nate pushes a bit connor thinks nate knows? and has known the entire camp and gets a bit upset about it -> nate literally just found out now. world changed. stunned. tyson cannot find out for at least a year. he owes cale a slushie (cale, who was there at the all star game. cale who shoved him in connor's direction when they were all at the bar and told him to stop making eyes at him if he wasn't intending on picking him up). -> they get together ♥️ eventually.

[lessdecency]

december 08 , 2024

» this is my first post, i’m only using tumblr because i can hide behind a screen, nobody knows who i am, and i can talk to real people. i feel like i have nobody to talk to and don’t get me wrong, i know i do. i have plenty of friends that all say “im here when you need me” but i feel like that isn’t the case. i just don’t like reaching out and talking about my feelings. i have anxiety which makes it hard to talk about my feelings in fear of oversharing, overwhelming them, their issues being worse, being invalidated, or seeming like im attention seeking in a way. i really don’t try to do any of those things, i get carried away sometimes. i’m dealing with alot right now both mentally and physically. i feel like im going crazy. the guy i like is giving me so many mixed signals and it’s making me feel like im not worth it. i just lost my best friend and it feels like it’s entirely my fault because even my mom was defending her. “(friends moms name) says (friend) has been super depressed and barely comes out of her room now” im sorry it’s not my fault i dont know what im supposed to do about that, if i dont think she’s good for me mentally im allowed to think that. my mom hasn’t noticed ive been the same way simply because she does not give a fuck. i’m so drained. my sport, my family, my friends, school, everything. it’s all so draining. i’m constantly tired and i don’t want to do anything. i never want to go to practice and im always begging to stay home. school makes me sick to my stomach every monday because of my anxiety and i have to constantly work and work and work and work for 8 hours a day on subjects i know nothing about no matter how hard i try to understand and come home and get harped on about my grades that i try to fix constantly. its so stressful trying to balance everything. ive been clean from self harm for a little over 9 months but the urges have been getting so bad, im always crying, i dont think ive cried this much in one month since i was in 4th grade, its been almost impossible for me to cry until this year. i want to talk to someone about it SOOOO bad but i have a fear of reaching out and i just seem like an attention seeker every time. my closest friend is going through things way worse and i feel like if i try to vent to her it’s gonna seem like i want something to be wrong (if that makes sense?) ive been bottling everything up for over a year, and thinking about it makes my chest hurt physically. i dont know what’s going on with me but i dont like it and i just want to be happy again.

-lessdecency

» please please please give any advice you think might be helpful or useful and feel free to share your stories or dm me if you’re having a hard time and i will try my best to help you out!

[damianbugs]

hi <3 since ive already obsessively reread your works i dont know how many times i think it's time for me to branch out and find some other batfam stuff too (im still a loyal reader tho dw bestie) i was wondering if you had any batfam authors you personally love and / or are inspired by! or maybe your top 5 batfam fics? if you don't mind sharing it ofc! thank u have a swag day and thank u for putting out such amazing amazing work into the world that offers me (personally) so much comfort :)

hello !! thank you so much for reading my works and i hope you will continue to enjoy them <3 i am so glad they bring you as much comfort reading as they do for me when writing !! and YES OF COURSE there is simply nothing i love more than recommending batfam fics that have me going absolutely crazy insane.

i previously did a top 5 batfam fic recs, and so here are my, uh, other top 5 batfam fics? everything is at the top of my list at this point.

+ these are in no particular order !!

MY TOP 5 BATFAM FICS (AGAIN) ON AO3 !

Cold Hard Want by AudreyCritter

“Are you happy?”

“I...I’m getting there.”

A follow-up to DC Rebirth Batman #35, in which Bruce recovers from being stabbed in the back and Damian considers the elusive nature of happiness.

MY NOTES: i might have read this fic a dozen times and everytime i do i am always so amazed by it. i have a soft spot for fics that move alongside actual comic canon, and so this was a lovely follow up to that original story (though you do not need to be familiar with it to enjoy this fic). damian is such a complicated character but at the end of the day, he is a child — and i think this handled his tumultuous relationship with bruce, dick and selina(!!) really well.

White Christmas by LemonadeGarden

Jason's been in the manor for a few months now. Bruce is a pretty cool guy, sure, but he's not exactly sure what to expect from him.

And then they go to Siberia in the winter on a case. It goes horribly wrong, and then pretty well.

MY NOTES: personally i think it is always the perfect time of year for a christmas fic that isn't actually about christmas. now, not only do all the best tropes meet in this fic (cuddling for warmth, sick fic, comfort after nightmares - to name a few) BUT this is also about robin jason todd. the little boy of all time. wonderful fic.

all the other rooms are a party tonight (and you never got an invitation) by irnan

(You will need an ao3 account to access this fic)!

The major difference between Gotham before Bruce left to set up Batman, Inc and Gotham after he comes back is that his children are grown-ups. Well, except for Damian.

Still, four out of five's an overwhelming majority.

MY NOTES: there is something so healing about this fic. bruce is rather pathetic (said fondly) in the way troubled middle aged men become when they finally realise their life is only in consequence of the people who exist around them. the dynamic between cass and bruce and dick and bruce in this is one of my favourites. the latter is very carefully weaved into the entire story, even when pertaining the other characters. a great take on bruce!

Have I Told You About Minnie? by Hinn_Raven

After you’ve known Matches Malone long enough, you get used to him telling you about his kids. Not that his kids know about it.

MY NOTES: oh this is such a fun one!! stephanie and bruce is such a wonderful dynamic and something about bruce creating an entirely new persona as a subconscious excuse to gloat about his children is just too funny. really sweet!

i want you to remember me by zxrysky

Bruce really needs to get rid of his saviour complex. Not all of them are the same as that poor boy who had to watch his parents get murdered in a dark alleyway; not all of them need to be saved.

Jason is perfectly fine where he is. Some capital would be great, but otherwise, he’s fine. He’s fine.

He doesn’t need to be saved again.

“No thanks,” Jason mutters, and pushes the papers away.

MY NOTES: this one hits you when you least expect it. it is so funny, so sweet and it hurts. jason todd you are so ridiculously complicated and tragic. also my favourite kind of time travel, kind-of-time-travel! little jason receives all of older jason's memories and his meeting with bruce and journey to robin is different, but some things are just destiny i suppose. so lovely.

as for inspirations or favourite authors, i have to say it might just be everyone i have ever read a fic from so i can not pick out anyone right now. the writers featured on this list are also phenomenal and some have written other amazing and loved batfam fics you should definitely check out!

hope you enjoy these anon and thank you again <3

[spookfished]

big media roundup (july edition)

hellooo again welcome to my media roundup, where i talk about things i read/watched/played this month! (…and by last month i mean AN ENTIRE MONTH AGO. WOOPS in my defense i got sick [better now]) in july i downloaded tachij2k, which im going to be shilling forever as the best way to read manga on android (apk on github here) this also means that ive been reading like, a Lot of manga lol so i split books + comics into two.

books:

vita nostra by Marina and Sergey Dyachenko: a metaphysics-ish novel about a girl who is blackmailed into going to a magic school. sort of a subversion where (unlike many magic school books) it basically is all about learning and stuff? im kind of a sucker for books written by married couples i think its really cute and also kind of fascinating... um i sort of disagree with its approach to pedagogy but its also sort of about the blood sweat and tears part of learning,, where i usually quit beforehand LOL. got that eastern european hopeless and drudgery (?) but idk i would definitely recommend

the great believers by rebecca makkai: historical fiction that swaps between an art curator-y guy living through the aids epidemic in chicago and his friend in the present who is trying to reunite w her estranged daughter. i really liked this!! super devastating obviously literally scooped me like a melon. very well researched! i hadnt really grasped like. the sheer terror and paranoia? that happened during the aids epidemic before..... thats my lack of contemp history knowledge but it was good i learned a lot. liked the theme of sort of surviving through tragedy and even after.. and the line drawn between the lost generation (war) and yales own exp (EDIT: found sth i wrote after reading the book which said "people are living their own intricate and mundane stories and then the stories of the world smash straight through them")

assassin of reality (vita nostra sequel): sasha knows what she will become--has embraced it, even. but theres always something that can be lost, and the institute still has a heavy hand over her.<or sth like that??? the reveals of the last book kind of make it a hard act to follow and the book definitely felt a lot more abstract... ik some people complained about the romantic subplots but i feel like it gives stakes and grounds everything else, yk? it gives you a thread to hold onto otherwise i mightve given up LMFAO that being said i did enjoy it :3 wondering if what happened to the authors will change the vibe of the next book... :(

you exist too much by zaina arafat: literary fiction about a bisexual palestinian american woman who struggles with her addiction to unattainable love, which has led her to cheat in several relationships. this book didnt really resonate with me.. um i actually ended up writing like 500 words of review for this but its pretty negative. so if youre interested check it out here https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/970847361775591466/1147613251933306921/image.png

movies/tv: room with a view: a young english girl travels to italy and finds love there--but has to choose between that love and a 'proper' life. ok this was fine. idk it was cute and funny sometimes but didnt leave that much of an impression sorry :T

past lives: two childhood friends reconnect, lose touch, then reconnect again. aughjjj those two silent minutes where they were waiting for her ride were so freaking agonizing. really good acting pretty film i just enjoyed it a lot in general! :3 i didnt like the boyfriend that much at first but the conversation they had in bed made them feel like a real relationship, you know? wish theyd had a 3some though maybe it will happen in past lives 2: paster life. idk its like most of the time we dont grow up to be who we thought wed be or do what we thought wed do... but is that really so bad? cant you still be happy? *clutches my head

nimona (movie): adaptation of the comic above! um this was fine i think i was a little disappointed bc the jokes felt a little overplayed/didnt really land? and i was mentally comparing it to the comic but then rereading i was like oh these jokes dont really hit for me either.. so who am i comparing this to LOL i think it would have meant a lot to me in middle school, so maybe it will mean something to middle schoolers now. also ppl fought really hard for it to be made so i feel like i need to give it more credit. my mutuals meta also made me appreciate it more :3 https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/687877902200471552/1126752893312184390/image.png barbie movie: not going to recap the barbie movie sorry. i actually watched this twice it was really fun :3 i wouldnt necessarily say it was a Cultural Milestone or anything but it was cute to see everyone dressed up for the movie.. plus i love velveteen rabbit type storylines. i think ken got the right amount of screentime (its not his movie!) but i loved his dance number and the battle scene :3 and the outfitss idk im not super caught up on the movie scene but it feels like there have been a lot of ugly movies recently. i enjoyed it

the rehearsal: a "reality" show about nathan fielder, who believes that any difficult situation can be rehearsed--and has the budget to put that belief into practice. ok like last year or sth everyone was like omg this show was sooo good but i didnt really get what it was about? but its actually really so interesting.. and the whole blurring between fiction and reality as well as the audience not really knowing which parts are staged and which parts are 'real' is so fun! i was a little bit disappointed when it diverged from the episodic format but that ended up paying off bigtime and was really like idk heartbreaking and funny and all of that. very recommend 👍

video games:

super mario odyssey: (replay)super fucking mario yay!!! in the long run, odyssey didnt have as much like. cultural staying power as botw did (they were both switch launch titles) but its still soooo imaginative and pretty and dense! i love platformers love 2 run and jump.

visual media: he was my brother: psych horror manga about a young girl who tries to grow closer to her recently-deceased brother's partner. omg i had so much fun with this the art is so atmospheric and delightfully creepy...REALLY mind the warnings though. i think i ended up reading all of it in one sitting lmfao

nimona comic (reread): classic villain ballister blackheart is looking for a competent sidekick, but what he gets is nimona, a shapeshifting weirdo kid with secrets. i remember trying to reread this and going wow.... is nimona not as good as i remember? am i old? but it was actually just like early webcomic weirdness nimona is still pretty good! yay :3 i still like the comic better but i respect how they are adapted to their respective mediums and also come from different phases in the og authors life

The story of how I came to know my favourite announcer has a side to her I would have never imagined: oneshot f/f w the premise in the title. whether i write down stuff like this is pretty hit or miss lol and i had to look this one up to rmbr what it was but the art is so cute...simple plot but i enjoyed it :3

crossplay love otaku x punk: romcom where two highschoolers fall in love with the other's crossdressing alter ego (m/m?). i really liked this one actuallyyy its so silly and im also a sucker for love square shenanigans. ok also now that someone else said they think hana/shuumei is endgame so im thinking about it. not the right perspective for this but the crossdressing isnt really overly fetishized or like seen as bad or anything? also ppl make some really funny faces in this

breathless momentum (vol 2+3): r two womanizing musicians find love... in each other!? this is also another one of my favorites :3 the leads are so fun and also music yay music! i really appreciate when a romance is still able to present an interesting story even after the couple has gotten together..

damekoi r: sequel to "please love this useless me," (damekoi is like.. useless passion? i think) which is about a woman in her 30s who spends all her money on her college boyfriend and goes into debt and falls in with her shitty former boss. omg it was soooo cute like i already said its a romance set after the main couple has already gotten together. which is my favorite. but these guys are really fucking weird so they still have a lot of problems. having Another Man who fits michikos type and isnt totally evil come in to destabilize shibata and kurosawas relationship doesnt feel cheap bc their relationship is already not very stable? lol i think the first one is worth checking out if you love pathetic women

mr villains day off: a gag manga about an alien supervillain on his days off. ok this one is pretty much just centered around this fluffy guy who likes to look at pandas but its extremely not very deep but its very cute... i like it... i also like pandas

how do we relationship/so do you want to go out, or (reread): f/f slice of life/drama manga about a girls first lesbian relationship in college. ok this is like "the" yuri manga for me i would recommend it to any fans of femslash its like sort of very realistic feeling? in the way that a relationship can sort of degrade slowly through lack of communication and being different people i think its really great 👍

ichinose familys seven deadly sins: psychological drama. an entire family wakes up with amnesia from a car crash. they dont remember themselves or each other, but pledge to stay together and relearn how to be a family and try to find their memories again. but is it really worth digging up the past...? man this one really goes off the rails. but like in a fun way? has an interesting arc going on rn about like... what allowances do we give, what are we willing to forgive in a stranger vs a family member. pretty interesting!

oshi no ko (catchup): psych thriller about the twin children of a famous idol trying to deal with the legacy she leaves behind. ive been talking about this manga for a while to my friends lol its kind of like riverdale in that its sort of very good, sort of very bad--but overall just super engrossing! which makes sense in a way bc its about the entertainment industry but also about the relationship between an idol and their fan... um not so sure about recent developments though lol. a little bit scared to see where things go

blue period (catchup): a delinquent boy used to going with the flow decides to go to the top art school in japan. yeah blue period is really good. hope this helps 👍lets all never go to art school ever ok ^_^

still sick: f/f about an office lady who finds out her coworker writes and sells yuri doujins (like illustrated fanfiction?) on the side. its a classic! was nice to finally get around to finishing it :3

liar satsuki can see death: thriller about a girl who can see peoples deaths and tries to prevent them--except everyone thinks shes just a liar. ok this is notable bc it has the exact same like adventures and gaybait as shounen but its all girls instead. its good light entertainment! sometimes is um kind of horny for sth about high school girls so ymmv on that one

farming for love: m/m romance about a pharmacist who moves to the country after a bad breakup and meets a ~strong but silent farmer~. pretty average, but fun if youre into that kind of thing! not sure if i would really recommend it lol

chainsaw man 2: set after the events of chainsaw man proper, its an action shounen focusing on asa mitaka, a girl who kinda sucks :3 chainsaw man is so fun yayyy im happy to be reading it again excited to get hit by some more bricks! asa is a wonderful protagonist and fujimoto continues to write comitragedy (?) in a way thats kinda obscene but also very cool 👍rip single father denji

skip and loafer (comic): slice of life about an ambitious but awkward girl who comes from the country to start her high school life in tokyo!!!! and some guy i guess. omg ok this is like the slice of life manga for me rn (the anime is really good! finished recently check it out) its just really warm and nice. autistic girls win always lol truly a comic that makes you feel like there is love in the world

no home: webtoon drama about two guys who are trapped together in a haunted dorm. ok this comic makes me really depressed but its also about people who make each other better despite their best efforts. and also violence and hatred its really really good 👍sad about recent updates though.. i guess maybe the characters werent really meant to be friends in the long term

this took me like two weeks to write and now im in a different state LOL so um if you got to the end...thanks for reading!

[decimateddreams]

!! oh boy

as for the guys it's uh. sort of a long story but i will try to summarize it

so. for a good part of the story they're kinda just vibing, being gay, doing crime, etc etc. and then the gods announce there'll be elections to determine a mayor for the town this is all set in. and one of them runs in the elections (against a semi sentient pig in a suit....?). all is well. UNTIL the day of the elections where the one who isn't running has some sort of flashback to a previous version of this world and hes like 'i can't let him win i have to protect him everyone's gonna try to use him for his power etc etc' and he uh. presents himself as candidate and ends up winning the elections (by stealing the other guy's votes). and he's thinking to himself oh it'll be fine he'll be mad at me for a bit but he'll understand

BUT HE DOES NOT. he goes absolutely fucking insane completely loses it decides killing the now mayor is his entire life's purpose and so on and so forth. and the whole thing slowly escalates into an entire civil war. but, as the two sides are having a battle, the aliens that have kinda been a threat the entire time attack and destroy half the town. so then they're like ok we'll work together to get rid of the aliens but mr 'i am going to destroy everything you love and then i'm going to kill you' is not fucking having it and the mayor isn't a big fan of this either so then this Other guy gets really fucking sick of their shit and kidnaps them to first force them to talk about their issues but then THAT doesn't work so he just fucking. completely wipes their memories of each other. including the ones from when they still got along. they remember NOTHING about each other after AND STILL THEY IMMEDIATELY BECOME FRIENDS AGAIN AND EVERYTHING

the aliens do destroy the whole place two episodes after but. augh

in conclusion? sobbing and crying. also these fuckers have like the Most upsetting fanart/fics/animatics ive ever seen. ive known about them for maybe a month and in that month ive taken massive amounts of emotional damage

as ALWAYS that is so so much. so much of mostly suffering etc but !!!!!!! absolutely not surprised about the emotional damage but surely. people must write other fanfic??? like fix its??? still rip though </////3

[distortionsprite]

i went to my regular weekly goth club the other day, with two friends. one friend got with a girl within 20 minutes of us being there, the third girl hes hooked up with this week. the other friend had to leave after an hour because they had work in the morning. so i was standing there, in a club of half naked goth people, myself being one of them. i thought i looked hot, i put a lot of effort into my looks, especially if i'm going out.

there i stood, leaned against the wall. the same wall i leaned against two years ago before She approached me. god, why am i thinking about her again? why am i here? i guess i hoped that if i leaned against that wall again, someone else would approach me the same way. maybe the wall is enchanted, it makes anyone who leans against it immediately alluring.

eventually i start to crack. ive been holding in a mental breakdown for over a week now, and this is the steel bar that breaks the camels back. i try to stifle the crying, but it never works. a friend... no, an acquaintance... no, someone i used to know walks past me. we lock eyes for a second, mine still streaming, and he turns his head quickly away. he's walking, holding hands with a girl i had a crush on 3 months ago.

my drink is finished now. my friend bought me it to say sorry for ditching me to hook up. then he ditched me to hook up. maybe i can keep farming infinite free drinks this way. it doesnt bother me. it doesnt. it really doesnt.

eventually, however, i am approached. by this point ive stopped crying but im in one of the most foul moods ive ever been in. a man walks up to me. a normal guy. plain white t-shirt, blue jeans, trainers, and a brown overshirt. he has short hair that spikes into a quiff on the top of his head. his beard is neat and presentable. the girl next to me is wearing the most gorgeous goth getup ive ever seen. a hot scene trans woman wearing a mask made of monster energy cans walks past us. i dont need to explain why i wasnt interested in him.

he walks up to me, looks me up and down, his eyes lingering on my skirt for just a second too long. he smiles at me without saying anything, but its obvious he's going to start soon. before i let it happen, i walk away. i dont say anything. i dont make a big scene. i just walk away silently, i dont care where, just away from him.

he follows me. i can feel him maybe two or three steps behind me. as i enter the main dance floor area, he taps my shoulder. i turn, i guess out of reflex, not because i wanted to. he indicates for me to follow him, and he tries to grab my hand. obviously i pull away, and i sink silently into the crowd of drunk people. i didnt see him again.

i only came here this week to look for someone in particular. a girl i met last week, out in the smoking area. we really hit it off, i think. but, due to how clubs are, we lost eachother, and we didnt exchange numbers. i was hoping she'd be here tonight. i wandered the club. i stood in the crowd and danced with every circle i could, hoping she'd be in one of them. but, from what i could tell, she wasnt. for some reason i cant stop thinking about her. she was pretty. really pretty. pretty in the way that makes you sick when you look at yourself.

i remember she only smokes Benson & Hedges Blue because theyre cheap, and she doesnt care about the taste. i remarked that i care about the taste, and i hate that brand. she laughed and called me a snob. not entirely untrue, i suppose. and she had these adorable thin rimmed glasses. they were artsy. they were bespoke. she tells me about this one bar, its open until 5am, and tells me i should join her there when this club closes. i say yes, definitely. i dont even give it a second thought. however, before we can leave to go there together, my friend finds us outside. he invites us to a different bar, one ive been to and that he knows i hate. she agrees to go there with him instead, but only if I come along. thats fine, the longer i can spend with this woman the better, i dont care where.

we get to this other bar. the other two are let in fine, but i get searched at the door. its nothing new, its just annoying. eventually im let in as well, but it takes me a second to find my friend. hes sat at the bar, already a drink in hand, chatting with yet another girl. i intend to approach, but then they start kissing. i think its better if i leave them alone for now. so i stood alone again, at this bar that i hate.

i never did see the girl again.

[odette-at-dawn]

-friends pt.1-

ive been having a lot of issues with friends in this past year. at the start of 2024, 2 of my long term friends (im talking 8 years atp) fought with me about something that, to this day, i believe was so stupid. i was able to quickly make up with one of them, but the other seemed to just not want to be friends anymore. which is fine ig, but it still hurt a lot especially with the things she said about me. that second friend then went and complained about me to our mutual friends, which is fine i totally get that, who then went and raged to our other friends about how terrible i was being. so that whole situation, that was completely blown out of proportion, lost me 3 friendships that i'd had for 7/8 years. great start to the year. then, my best friend who i love dearly, started talking to this new guy. it was really good, but it was all she would talk about. it wasnt that big of a deal, just annoying because we no longer live in the same city so we dont get to talk as much as we used to, so when all we talk about is the new guy shes talking to, it got annoying. but it wasnt bad until the week of her graduation, where i was back in our hometown for it, and the guy she was talking to came out for it. he lived in a different city a while away so it was a big deal. it was cute, seeing them interact a lot and seeing her so happy. but i spent that whole week of her graduation at her house, helping her get ready, being there to support her, going to the many events she had planned for her, hanging out with her family more than mine, hanging out with her entire extended family and meeting them all. it was a lot, but i was happy to do it. but, at one of these events, someone (her friend who was friends with the guy she was talking to) wanted to go into the city and i was volun-told to drive him in. i was like fine, but as long as you (my best friend) or him (the guy she was talking to) came with. because it was a 30 min drive into the city and i do not know him very well. the guy said yes, but then my best friend said no because it was her party and she couldnt just leave. then the guy she was talking to said no because she wasnt leaving. then, my best friend was like, wait, my cousin has subworffers in his car and it would be sick to drive with that. so she went and asked him if he could drive. i was chill with that because then i didnt have to drive. my car is big, so it fits 7 people (including the driver) in it, which would have been enough to fit everyone who wanted to come. but her cousins car only fit 5 people. so, i was asked to stay behind. that made me so upset. because i felt like i was doing so much for her for her graduation, which i was more than happy to do, but to get tossed to the side like that? for a guy she met a few months back? over her best friend? it actually really broke my heart tbh. so her (my best friend), the guy she was talking to, his friend, her cousin, and her cousins gf all went into the city while i was left at her house, without her there, hanging out with her extended family. this problem was made worse by the fact that i was moving into the countryside at the end of june (living out there for july and august) for work (at this point in time it was late may/early june) and i was spending an entire week with her (i slept over at her house 4/7 days of that week and spent 6/7 days at her house or with her) when i hadnt seen my parents in 4 months and wouldnt see them for most of july and august bc of work. it hurt me a lot that she was basically ignoring what i was doing for her. i feel like im sounding very self-centered in this, which im not trying ot be, but it hurt a lot to see her choose these other people over me. so when this happened, i sat in my car for close to an hour crying because of it. when i went back inside, i chatted with her mom about it, and her mom scolded her when she got back, because she was gone from her party for close to 2 hours. my best friend apologized about it, which i really appreciated, but it still hurt.

[unfunky-and-out-of-time]

seeing a lot of reactions to ep 7 and as someone who has barely seen ep 4-6 i thought id be the perfect person to share my thoughts on it

this was more watchable than the other eps. tbh i am lowkey checked out w most of the character and seeing the ones i really liked become boring is a shame..... mm was my absolute fav and theres something about his arc this season that feels like his character is stagnating. when i thought his struggle in s3 was arguably one of the best arcs of the entire show! so yeah idk. that sucks

frenchie idgaffffffffffffff about i think he stopped being a good character after s2. tbh the show is generally at its strongest when it explores the dynamics between the characters and idk whats up but i think the writers this season got sick of it? its silly

^ adding to this. hughie and butchers dynamic is just completely gone..... kind of funny bc this is literally what its been about. imagine breaking bad but walt and jesse dont talk. the few dynamics they still remember feel like theyve been... declawed? mm and butcher fight but its whatever. annie and butcher disagree and who gaf they HAVE to work together (i strongly disagree with this and also i dont think the boys shouldve reunited at the end of s3 but thats another story)

i also really dislike that we havent brought up lenny in so long. he's so crucial to butchers character. i also just generally miss butcher and homelanders dynamic even if idgaf about him. that was the other central dynamic of the show imo. i miss when butcher would hallucinate homelander mocking him! i need kessler to start rolling his eyes at butcher or else....

a few specific thoughts:

ive known about butcher cheating on becca for months now and thought it was incredibly stupid and ruined a lot of his character. mulled over it for a few months and came to the conclusion that its not absolutely out of character. i do think butchers relationship with becca is his central moral guide and that he put much more on her than you should in any healthy relationship and that she was probably aware of it but definitely not to the total extent. like i always say he probably just spent hours staring at the wall waiting for her to come home when they were married. i also think he is a huge self-saboteur and i do believe becca made him want to be better (even if its not in a traditionally healthy way etc whateverrr) but i think especially with a guy like him it wasnt all very straight and nice. they must have had a lot of ups and downs and i think becca knew him as much as he let her (in s2 she says something along the lines with "this didnt start with me" and butcher also says "what was i before you? nothing") because that to me would show what made their relationship so special and central to butchers character. i do not think her death made him snap, i think her love made him hold back and believe he was content with a simple life even if that would never be the case. at the same time i think he fully believed he was completely undeserving of her love and that paired with his alcohol abuse would get to him.

"becca lied to both butcher and ryan so ryan saying she would want him to tell the truth doesnt make sense" this is kind of funny bc like..... she is allowed to be a hypocrite? and i think it makes her much more interesting for it? she was dealt absolutely shitty cards and the entire situation is unjust so pointing this out is kind of weird. she can absolutely preach one thing and do another this is literally every other character on this show

butcher and ryans dynamic is probably the only thing i have an unpopular opinion on but thats because my take on them is heavily painted by their pre s3-finale interactions and the writers chose to take a different route with them after that

[diagonal-queen]

Guess who’s baack :D(kinda, sorta; Moved to a different acc)!!

Mwah!

I’m sure I missed a lot(considering I haven’t been online in like 7 months), but I wanna know more abt how you’ve been doing since I left ٩(^‿^)۶!!

ayoooo its mufuckin Q

i've been doing uhhhh uhm uhh mf uhhhhh

ive been very sick and lonely and bored. i had a flu so horrific i thought it was covid, and i've spent weeks completely alone, drugged up on medicine and in pain because of the congestion. i've also been dealing with estranged family members and the death of one of my relatives, and other more private things i don't wanna go into, so...it's been a lot.

but i'm wanting to come back because i really don't have much else besides all of you guys here. i miss talking to all of you. i just wanted to give myself some time to deal with everything going on in my personal life yk? and yes i'm entirely safe, uninjured, etc nothing life threatening has happened to me (depending on how you look at it).

so im back and i will be opening reqs also :D

enough about me tho how are you Q?? i hope things are going well for you :3

[am3ricanj3sus]

5/3

no song of the day today. i didnt feel to connected to any songs today and it didnt feel right to put one. anywyas though. im wirting on my laptop today. it feels weird. i feel weird. maybe its just how life has been going. a issue that ive been having most of my life pop up again and im tired of dealing with it.

basically i was life long friends with this girl and yk we had our ups and downs (a whole lotta downs) but we alwyas got on with it. well she got on with it. she would randomly get mad at everthing, blame me for it in someway and i became the problem. it happened mutiple times and i grew sick of it but i really didnt care. maybe i sound cocky but ik that at the end she would come back. she always did.

but like 8 months ago. she started seeing this guy. and it escalated quick. she like asked us his name and who he was then a week later she tells us "oh my boyfriend dropped me off after we got food" so ofc we're like boyfriend? okay... and we didnt bring it up. the thing is, our friend group didnt like the guy she started seeing. he was rude to our friends and has done someover all shady stuff. so we just warned her and wow suprise she didnt listen and got with him. then she got all offended when we didnt comment on the fact her bf brought her home. so we gave her a small "yay bf!" but yk we told her we dont like him so we really didnt want to talk about him. and thats what fucking set a wire off in her dumbass brain. she was going on about how we never support her, which was the craziest lie ever because we all supported her and her other crazy ass ex bf and all the dumb stuff she does. and we were like "hey we can be friends still, we just really dont want to talk about him" and like the whole time she was texting this guys and she was telling him "omg theyre ruining my mental health"

and i think i may have pushed a little over board but i was sick of her asking like some entitled bitch that needs her friends to agree with her all the time. so i kind of just brought up everything shes ever done to me :) like the time i too her to disneyland and she literally complained in the car, ON TWITTER, about how she had to go back and we were forcing her. and its like, girl. my mother payed for you to be here. do NOT play. and i understand her frustration to a point becuase we were at the park that morning from like 9 to 1 but we had like a 6 hour break at the hotel and didnt go back till 7. and we couldnt just leave her there becuase her mom didnt want her to be alone in the room so its like... girl you have to come. so were in the car on the way back to the park and shes like spaming her twitter "theyre forcing me to go back! im crying. i dont want to be here" SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU UNGREATFUL LITTLE BITCH. like girl... girl...BITCH. i couldnt even.

then i brought up the fact that she let her ex bf like disrespect tf outta me. like he burped in my face, didnt say sorry, disrespected my family and callled me a bitch unprovoced. like she just let these things happen then got mad when i defended myself. talking about some "you had no right to say that to him" girl he had no right to act that way towards me but okay,

then i just brought up how much she just disregards me. like im nothing. and i truly felt like that the entire time i was friends with her. an that was most of my life.

she didnt respond to that message. she simply left the group chat then blocked me. couldnt take the fucking heat ig.

and i dont care what happens to her. she could burn in the deepest pit of hell. and maybe ill go to hell for saying that. but i mean it. ive never wanted someone to suffer more.

and that leads me to this topic. she has no friends now. and im glad. she doesnt deserve anything or anybody. no one deserves to be put through what i went though with her. theres so much more that happened with her that i dont even want to relive. but shes like searching for attention now. she texted a mutual friend of ours recently and i told him, dont text her back. and he fucking texts her anyway. now im not trying to dictate who he can and cant be friends with but she did him dirty too so i dont know why he even wanted to talk to her.

and thats anothet thing that pisses me off. people feel bad for her. like what the hell. even people that were with me the night of the argument. they feel bad that she has no friends. and i get having sympahty for her but what the hell. you were there, you know what she did so why on gods green earth do you feel that for her? it just sets this rage in me on fire and i want everyone to disappear.

i genuinley cant. like omg. it just makes me so angery and people dont get why im so mad about her. she just fucked over 12 years of friendship over some guy she only dated for 6 months.

but to make myself happy. i realized im over my crush on my friend. i think it was just a spur of the moment thing really. he has a gf now so its whatever really. ill miss that time of my life.

i didnt see mr c today im so sad. i even walked around a little during his prep and i didnt even see him walking around with his teacher besties. its okay though. i guess ill get over it :(

i did see my coco pookie though and i dont know what it is but its like im not looking for him as much anymore. i mean he wasnt here the other day and i missed him but when he has been here i dont even watch him that much. its just. i dont know. maybe i just want him to be around since he was my crush this.

another day. another slay. i love yapping. this was the first time i gen got out most of my emotions about that bitch and it have this weird relief. like my chest feels light in a way. maybe writting should be a daily thing for me. love love love. muah ha ha