#not thoughtless

[feynavaley]

My life is a comedy.

I'm on a business trip with my superior, so I've been spending a lot of time with her even outside of work hours. Today, during a casual conversation, I let slip that I have a huge crush on that other coworker I've written about in the past.

To be perfectly honest, I thought everyone knew by now. The women, at least. I've been doing my best to be subtle, of course, but I've been on the other side as well and I know -- hiding something like this is impossible. Even if you don't do anything in particular to make it obvious, there's the way your eyes literally shine when you look at that person, the adoring expression, how you blush and/or stutter when you interact... Every person is different in how they react to this, of course, but from the outside, you can tell when there's such a strong interest.

...except apparently, I've been doing a much better job at hiding my feelings that I thought for my superior was flabbergasted.

Her first reaction was a gasp, followed by, "You're jocking, right? You must be jocking!"

Feeling rather foolish at that point, but thinking I was too far in to back down, I assured her that no, unfortunately, I wasn't jocking. Nevertheless, I'm definitely able to keep up a professional relationship and pretend my feelings don't exist.

Turns out that wasn't what my superior was concerned about. Apparently, what everyone has been noticing and commenting about behind my back is that he is completely smitten with me. He has never explicitly denied when confronted about it, either, just veered the conversation to a different topic. Which -- is not a denial.

Not to mention, it would be completely understandable if he didn't want to make a move without knowing how I felt about it -- after all, I'm much younger than he is and he's also technically one of my superiors, even though I'm not directly under him. Being the sensible person he is, he is aware the situation would be quite uncomfortable for me if I didn't reciprocate his interest.

...but I do. And I can't believe this is happening, but it is. I don't know if this will turn into anything concrete, still... Wow. Moreover, my superior is absolutely thrilled about this and she said that as soon as we're back, she'll make sure he somehow gets the input he can make a move.

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[sorceress-foxgirl-ariel]

[creekfiend]

noticably had anaphylaxis yesterday for the first time (thanks Joy for helping me know how to recognize this, it is more than any medical professional has literally EVER DONE) and just found out that the medication my doctor refused to refill last month because he claims that I haven't been into the clinic recently enough (a drug that is extremely safe that I have been on for over a decade) (also HE was a no show at our last appointment, NOT ME) is a mast cell stabilizer. lmfao. oh my god the sheer undiluted rage in my whole body right now. bro you could have killed me

[trashogram]

You know what?

Stolas defenders been real quiet since Stolas tried to sacrifice himself for Blitzø without giving a flying fuck about Octavia, Stolas’s own daughter. Again.

[egophiliac]

did you ever consent to having your art reposted on Pinterest? that's actually how I found you (all of your twst comics are on Pinterest and some brave soul has gone through every single post saying "by egophiliac on Tumblr". the original posters never credit you either :/

nope...I have tried to ask people to take them down in the past, but I usually just get ignored. :') so I do appreciate that people are going through and adding credit, at least!

(the worst is when people actually edit out my signature/watermark to get around do-not-post lists...this has happened more often than you'd think 🙃)

[total-drama-brainrot]

want to start a fandom trend of Dramasonas where we all draw ourselves as super incompetant interns.

[voxhypno]

If you find yourself trying to think today for whatever reason, take a moment to breathe, calm your mind, and let it pass. You're not made to think, and you don't have to!

The world is full of nice smart people to do that hard thinking work for you, so you can just giggle, smile, and let your poor lil head empty right back out, okay?

Atta toy!

[nym-wibbly]

Supernatural 4x20 The Rapture

[evevoli]

no but why is waffle the single most brainless-looking creature i have ever seen like

you know it is taking every ounce of her strength to string two thoughts together. a single-celled organism. head full of nothing but air and love there is naught but white noise going on in there

she is everything to me

[wonderfull-star]

I like that face Dev makes.

He just a smol baby 🥺

[pitviperofdoom]

Honestly sick as hell when characters forge with their own hands the very weapons that will one day destroy them.

[ttvck]

fem noahcash scwibbles.goodnight...................

[secriden]

So I was pondering just why I like Style so much and why his specific "failings" and imperfections are so compelling to me - and I think it's because all the other main characters are flawed in ways that are obvious but not very relatable.

Fadel and Bison are murders. Regardless of their motivations and how much they buy into Mama Lilly's propaganda, they still have taken lives and do so with little remorse. Kant is actively lying to, manipulating and taking advantage of Bison and Style (his supposed best friend) for his own ends with seemingly very little compunction. Yes, he's got his reasons; but still.

And then you have Style. His major flaw is that he is thoughtless and selfish and he doesn't seem to understand how to leash in his impulsive desires. This means he constantly ignores or crosses Fadel's boundaries to the point that, by the end of episode 3, is genuinely hurtful. All the same, compared to the things Fadel, Bison, and Kant have done and are still doing (reminder: ep 3 opened with another murder/assassination), this is relatively tame.

But that's precisely why I think people are being so harsh to him vs the other characters. Many of us have felt like the victim of someone like this because it's so common and so we relate to Fadel's frustration and then hurt and anger, and that makes Style actions feel painful in a way that’s personal. Few of us have been victims of the level of violence or manipulation that Fadel and Bison and Kant are dishing out.

Yet that's precisely why I like Style - he's imperfect in ways that add realistic complexity to his character. Why would we expect a character who is bold, brash, and impulsive to also be thoughtful and considerate?? He acts before he can think about things: that's the whole point of his character. He juxtaposes Fadel perfectly because Fadel "plans everything down from years, months, weeks to days" and Style hasn't acted with more than 8 seconds of forethought in his life. It’s part of what makes him perfect for Kant's plan in the first place.

But then, but THEN once Style begins interacting with Fadel, we start to get moments when Style seems to still and become intensely focused - most notably:

Right after the confrontation in the locker rooms (sadly I don't think anyone's gif'ed this yet, so screenshots it is!)...

…after his conversation with Bison about Fadel…

…and when he watches Fadel beat 3 guys up with ease.

We are watching Style find reasons to grow. We are seeing moments when he’s catching himself, slowing down, thinking, wondering. And while it initially starts with curiosity, he so quickly falls into fascination and obsession, and by the end of episode 3 it’s clear he wants more. It's not just about understanding Fadel anymore, Style wants to have him for himself. And if he's going to be something meaningful to Fadel he’s going to have to mature.

This is why I find Style so interesting and so fun to watch. He’s loud, in your face, and obnoxious so the layers aren’t as obvious. We think there’s nothing more there, but his complexity is deceptively hidden while they’re ironically much clearer in the quiet characters like Fadel and Kant.

And I don't think it's unreasonable to expect this growth. Style is written TO HAVE ROOM TO GROW. And, yes, I do think Style is going to rise gloriously to the challenge. We already have hints that this is precisely where the narrative means to take him:

(Fuck, look at how soft and earnest Style's expression is in the left screenshot. ;A;)

He’s by no means perfect but that gives him space to have a hell of a character arc and I, for one, can’t wait for it. 🙌

[henrysglock]

“he’d do anything for them” girl he didn’t even tell El that she did her diorama wrong knowing full well she was going to be humiliated. anyway.

[nebelihood]

HA RANDOM ART

I did without using my brain for some reason