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thereforebucket · 2 years ago

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I Was Made For You

Summary: Lupe has a cat. Jess has mice. They've been dating for six months and they're definitely not trying to U-haul. But, you know, the best laid plans of mice and men...

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Jesslupe future au feat. Jess' dog, Lupe's Horrible Cat, and Brandi Carlile

Pairing: Lupe García/Jess McCready

Word Count: 9197

AO3

There’s a yelp from the kitchen, followed by “¡Jesucristo!” and a loud bark.

“Timber!” Jess calls, and her giant marshmallow of a Samoyed comes running into the room, then whines at her. She gets up and pats her legs. Timber comes right to her and she sinks her hands into his fur, rubbing up and down his ribs. “You ok boy?” she asks him.

“Oh sure, check on the dog.” Jess looks up to see Lupe leaning against the doorjamb, hands shoved deep in her pockets. She’s dressed in what she changed into after work, a pair of men’s jeans and a vintage Metallica that has only softened with age. She’s arranged her features into a look of annoyance, but there’s a smile peeking out.

Jess smirks. “He’s a big softy, what’s your excuse?”

Lupe raises her eyebrows. “Another mouse,” she says. “It surprised me, darted right out from underneath the oven.”

The smirk sours on Jess’ face. “Fuck,” she says.

“Yeah,” Lupe agrees. “You gotta do something about them, hon, they’re settling in.”

Jess makes a noise of disgust in the back of her throat. “Goddammit.”

There’s a pause. “You know…” Lupe starts slowly, and Jess looks at her sharply.

“No.”

“He’s a good mouser!”

“He’ll scare the dog!”

“So take him for a walk!”

“What, for like four hours?”

Lupe pauses and thinks. “Well, actually, it would probably take longer than that…”

“Lu.”

“Ok I didn’t think it through, but it’s a good idea! And you’ve got mice, sweetheart.” Lupe crosses her arms and fixes Jess with a look. And Jess knows she’s going to lose this one.

She sighs. “Well, where will Timber go if you bring Tío over to my apartment?” Tío is Lupe’s cat and he’s widely considered to be an asshole, most notably by Lupe herself. He’s an older cat that Lupe rescued off the street after he was injured in a fight, and Jess is pretty sure Lupe lives just as much in terror of him as the rest of them, though Lupe claims the relationship is both mutual and loving.

‘Tío’ is also just a nickname. His real name is Tío Beverly after the grumpy, unyielding sponsor of Jess and Lupe’s neighborhood baseball team and an offhand comment from their teammate Maybelle.

“Geez Lu, he looks like a cross between Bev and your scary uncle.” She means this generally, but Lupe does, in fact, have a scary uncle. “And, well, a cat.” And so his name became Tío Beverly and Lupe never looked back.

(Though they’ve talked about Tío at practice, everyone on the team has casually forgotten to mention his full name to Bev. Jess thinks all Bev would do is snort and chuckle a little, but the others are not convinced.)

“You could take him to mine,” Lupe suggests.

Jess frowns. “I can’t leave him alone,” she says. “He’s sensitive.” Lupe considers this.

“We could both go back to mine and leave Tío here,” she says.

“Tío is not staying at my apartment unsupervised,” Jess says firmly. Jess has never escaped the clutches of Tío without a scratch. In her drawer at Lupe’s she has two shirts, a pair of jeans, some socks, underwear, and a box of band-aids. She steals Lupe’s pajamas though.

Lupe holds her hands up. “Look,” she says, “I just think he could help.”

Jess sighs. It’s not a bad solution, honestly. “No, no, I appreciate it,” she says. She thinks for a second. “I bet Ana would take Timber for a little bit, or maybe Carson.”

Lupe purses her lips. “Mmm but would Greta?” she says. “Ana might be a better bet.”

Jess raises her eyebrows. “Greta said Timber was the best-behaved dog she’d ever met,” she says, “which I take full credit for, but I hear your point. I’ll try Ana first.”

“Great!” Lupe says, trying and failing not to look too pleased.

Jess snorts and stands up, walking towards Lupe. Timber whines, but she just shushes him before placing her hands on Lupe’s hips. “You really wanted to bring your cat here that bad?” she asks, grinning.

Lupe wraps her arms loosely around Jess’ neck. “I just like making sure you’re taken care of, querido.” She smiles her dreamy smile.

And god, how could Jess not blush at that? At that statement? At the -o instead of the -a? For Lupe, Jess would suffer even the world’s worst cat making her apartment its home for a little while. So she smiles back and pulls her a little closer. “I know,” she says, and brings their lips together.

-----

So Jess takes Timber to Ana’s for a few days and Tío moves in.

“Temporarily,” Jess reminds Lupe, because Tío is missing yet another clump of fur and looks like he got in a fight with an electrical socket. Lupe pulls him out of the carrier and he immediately wriggles out of her arms, off like a shot to the underside of Jess’ armchair.

“I know,” Lupe says, trying desperately to catch Tío and failing spectacularly. She wipes her hands on her shirt like she meant to just turn him loose. “This isn’t my backdoor into U-Hauling with you, McCready. If I wanted to do that, I’d keep about half of my clothes here and basically never spend the night at my apartment.” Lupe has approximately half her shirts and a third of her pants at Jess’ apartment. Jess cleaned out two drawers for her. She spends about two nights a week at her own place and the rest curled up in Jess’ bed. It’s casual.

Jess opens her mouth but can’t think of anything to say. Her eyes dart between Lupe’s. Her brow furrows.

Lupe frowns in concern. “Hey, hey, I’m joking,” she says, holding her hands out towards Jess to steady her. “I like my apartment just fine. It’s close to the subway and Tío likes watching the pigeons from the window.”

And. It. Well. Jess wasn’t really worried about that. Or rather, she hadn’t thought it would be soon or anything, but she had just been thinking that week about how nice it was to wake up with Lupe, how she’d have to replace Lupe’s toothbrush soon since she was wearing it out, how convenient it had been since she’d given Lupe a spare set of keys and she could just let herself in if she got to Jess’ before her. Jess isn’t sure she’s ready to offer it, but it would sort of be the dream to live with Lupe.

But she doesn’t say that. Instead, she gawps for another second before managing to get out “Well, we can’t deprive him of the pigeons, can we?”

And Lupe still looks a little concerned, but she chuckles. “Speaking of him, I’m going to try to lure him to the kitchen so he can catch these mice.”

Lupe spends about five minutes trying to lure Tío out from under the chair before giving up and going to set up his litterbox and food. She shakes out a little dry food, then pops the top on a can of wet food. “Since it’s his first night here,” she explains to Jess, “I want him to have positive—” Tío comes trotting into the room, chirping, and winds herself around Lupe’s legs. “—Associations,” Lupe finishes. “Well hello you,” she says to the cat, who is now purring. Jess didn’t know he even knew how to purr.

Lupe reaches down to pet him and Tío takes it for exactly three pets before swiping at her hand and meowing loudly. “Yeah, yeah,” Lupe says, rolling her eyes. She pulls the rest of the top off the wet food and dumps it unceremoniously into the dish. Tío tears in and Jess curls her lip in disgust at the wet smacking sounds. “Hey, he’s doing you a service,” Lupe says, catching her. “You gotta pay him somehow.”

Jess nods. “You got me there.”

-----

Tío catches zero mice that evening, but he does shatter a glass by knocking it off the counter and sharpen his claws on the side of Jess’ couch. Lupe apologizes profusely, especially about the couch, promising to learn how to upholster if she has to. Beyond the initial shock of seeing it, though, it actually isn’t that noticeable, so Jess just tells her to forget it.

That night is hell, even though they keep the cat out of the bedroom, but in the morning, Jess finds a mouse head laid neatly by the bedroom door and figures this may have been worth it. She nearly changes her mind when she finds the body floating in the cat’s water dish, but she flings both pieces off the fire escape into the alley below anyway, then washes her hands and starts to make coffee, eggs, and toast.

Once the smell of coffee starts to fill the apartment, Jess hears Lupe start to stir. “He caught one,” she tells her when she hears Lu trudge into the kitchen.

“Oh yeah?” Lupe asks. She comes up behind Jess and rests her head on Jess’ shoulder, wrapping her arms around her middle. There’s a lazy thrill up Jess’ spine and she smiles as she scrambles the eggs in the pan.

“I’ve got to reach the cheese,” she says softly to Lupe, pointing at the bag of shredded cheese on the counter just out of reach.

Lupe unspools herself from around Jess and leans over, grinning. “Do you?” she asks and slides the bag over.

Jess grins back. “I guess not,” she says. She reaches out to take it and Lupe holds it out of reach again.

“Ah ah ah, gotta pay the toll first.” This close up, the sun is catching on Lupe’s eyelashes. Her eyes are a warm, mahogany brown and she’s looking at Jess with a hooded, teasing expression that electrifies Jess in a way that fights with the way she wants to rise to Lupe’s challenge. So, in compromise, she takes Lupe’s hip in one hand and uses her body to push her against the counter. She kisses her fully, leaving nothing on the table, and doesn’t miss how Lupe’s breath hitches in her throat. Lupe steadies herself against the counter with her free hand and, at the same time, Jess snakes her hand along Lupe’s other arm and pulls the cheese from her grasp. She pulls back and smiles, poking her chin out in victory. She raises her eyebrows, once, then opens the cheese and pulls out a handful, sprinkling it on top of the eggs.

Lupe bursts into a quiet chuckle. “You’re gonna kill me one day, McCready,” she says, smiling. Then she reaches out with a thumb and brushes just beneath Jess’ bottom lip. “Got a little spit there,” she teases.

Jess shrugs. “I mean it’s yours,” she says.

Lupe just rolls her eyes.

She moves away and pulls two earthenware mugs from the mug cabinet. They’re Jess’ two favorite mugs. One is a matte, forest green with an unglazed raised square engraved with pine trees. The other is small, with seven short sides and a circular handle. It is smooth and gray, speckled with black, and very clearly handmade. You have to fill it twice to get a normal amount of coffee, but Jess loves it without equal.

Lupe pours the coffee while Jess finishes up the eggs and puts them on plates. She pulls the toast out of the second, smaller pan and inspects it on both sides. She notes, with pride, that it is perfectly toasted. Lupe likes to tease her for not having a toaster, but how can she argue when it means she gets the perfect slice of toast every time? She puts the toast on the plates as well and brings them to the table.

Lupe sets the coffees down on the table as well, one in front of each chair, and Jess notices that she’s given her the green mug. She gives Lupe a look, quirking an eyebrow and Lupe bites her lip, laughing silently.

“Just thought I’d switch things up a little,” she says, sliding her index finger through the gray mug’s handle and holding it near her chest.

Jess can’t think of anything to say other than “But that’s mine!” It comes out whiny and petulant and Lupe has to stick her tongue in between her lips to keep from laughing out loud.

“Pobrecito,” she says, stepping forward and lightly shaking Jess’ jaw with her free hand. She leans in and plants a kiss on Jess’ lips before leaning back and taking a sip of the coffee. “Plus,” she says after a particularly loud slurp, “I’ve already put my like five sugars into this, so you don’t want it.” Lupe takes her coffee black and very sweet. Jess takes hers with no sugar but a heavy amount of cream. She looks at the green mug and notes with distaste that the coffee is already a light tan.

She shakes her head. “After I made you breakfast and everything.” She catches Lupe’s wrist and pulls her in. Lupe sets the mug down so as not to spill and then comes to Jess with a patient expression, resting her hand on Jess’ waist. “And that perfect toast,” Jess continues, and threads their fingers together, pulling their bodies against each other.

Lupe closes her eyes. “Hmm,” she mumbles against Jess’ lips, “you say it’s perfect, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to try it when you’re picking fights about the coffee mugs.”

Jess ghosts her lips up Lupe’s jaw until they rest on the shell of her ear. “Picking fights,” she asks softly, “or claiming what’s mine?” She takes Lupe’s earlobe in her teeth, gently, and feels a shiver run through her.

“I’m not switching the mugs, McCready,” Lupe says, running her thumb back and forth over Jess’ middle. “Coffee’s already been poured.” Jess bites a little harder on her earlobe and feels Lupe’s hand clench on her hip. “You’re going to let it get cold,” she protests weakly.

As it turns out, the point is moot as Tío leaps up onto the table, displacing Jess’ beautiful gray mug and sending it tumbling to the floor. It breaks into three pieces, the smallest piece with the handle separated from another smaller piece of rim separated from a larger piece holding most of the base. The coffee spills over the floor in a splattering wave.

Tío startles upon hearing the noise and springs straight over the rest of the table and onto the floor, sprinting into the other room to hide.

Jess and Lupe break apart and freeze. They stare at the mug for a full ten seconds before Lupe breathes out “Shit.”

She untangles herself from Jess. “Shit.”

She kneels down and starts picking up the pieces. “Shit, Jess, I’m so sorry.”

And. And well, Jess wasn’t psyched about Tío being here in the first place. She wasn’t psyched about the swipes and the mouse in the water bowl and the meowing at her bedroom door all night. And now this. Her favorite mug on the ground, shattered.

But there’s a set to Lupe’s shoulders that tells Jess she’s feeling this too, like an imposition, and she’s looking steadily at the floor, picking up the pieces, not looking at Jess at all, and Jess…doesn’t have the heart to have a reaction. Doesn’t have the heart to break Lupe’s. So she takes a deep breath and says “It’s ok.” Another breath. “It’s ok.” She moves and puts a hand on Lupe’s shoulder, briefly, then pats it. “It’s just a mug. I’ll get a towel.”

They mop up the mess, Lupe holding the broken pieces in her hands, so gingerly, and when the dark coffee has all been soaked away, Lupe gently sets the pieces down and marches into the living room.

It takes her about 15 minutes of coaxing, chasing, and wildly leaping, but she manages to get Tío into his carrier. Jess watches it happen, unsure of what to do. She wants to be supportive of Lupe, wants to be supportive of Lupe’s cat being here, but she’s not feeling very friendly towards him right now. In the end, she helps by blocking the entrance to the kitchen, supporting Lupe by helping her catch this damn cat, and doesn’t comment about the candles and coasters scattered from her coffee table in the process. Jess doesn’t know what Lupe needs to hear right now, doesn’t know how to be there for Lupe and the cat she loves, but she’s always been good at helping with a task.

Once the carrier door slams shut, Lupe stands up and wipes her nose on her sleeve. There’s something that sounds suspiciously like a sniffle in the mix and she’s staring at the floor, not looking at Jess, and Jess is torn between wanting to respect that space and wanting to take Lupe in her arms.

“Well,” Lupes says, roughly scooping up the carrier in one hand. Tío protests. She starts towards the door, pajamas, no shoes, angry cat, and Jess doesn’t know what to say but she doesn’t want this.

“Lu,” she starts.

“I’ll be back!” Lupe calls, grabbing a jacket from the hook on the wall.

“Lupe, wait,” Jess says, moving towards the door. Lupe is hurriedly shoving her feet in her shoes, holding one jacket sleeve between her teeth and trying to shove her arm through the other one. She gets the shoes on and her arm enough in the sleeve to turn the deadbolt. “Babe,” Jess says, but she’s wrenching the door open, still not looking at Jess, and Jess throws her arm out, slamming the door shut and looking beseechingly into Lupe’s eyes.

Jess is breathing heavily, leaning on her outstretched hand, her very body pleading with Lupe to stay. She takes a deep breath and puts a free hand on Lupe’s shoulder. Lupe still isn’t looking at her, but Jess can see the guilt plain on her features, along with a touch of sadness. She’s… Jess realizes she’s misty eyed and feels a jolt of alarm.

“Lu,” she says, cupping her face. Lupe stands stock still, but her mouth pinches closed and Jess can see her shoulders go tight. Jess breathes out, empathy flooding through her, and puts her hands on both shoulders. “Babe,” she says, and Lupe’s shoulders give an involuntary shake. “Babe,” she says again, and pulls Lupe in.

Lupe’s shoulders shake and Jess can feel tears on her own shoulders. She rubs her hands up and down Lupe’s back. Lupe snakes her free arm around Jess’ waist and just lets Jess hold her.

They stay like that, this moment in the entryway, until Tío lets out another yowl and jerks the carrier in Lupe’s hand.

“I’m going to drop him down the fucking stairs,” Lupe growls from Jess’ shoulder.

“No, no, you’re not,” Jess says, and reaches back to take the carrier out of Lupe’s hand, setting it gently on the floor. She stands back up and takes Lupe’s face in her hands, leaning back far enough that she can look into her eyes. “I’m going to cover this with a blanket, and then I’m going to pour you another cup of coffee and we can talk about this, ok?”

Lupe nods wetly, looking tired and vulnerable, and Jess doesn’t want to leave her side for a minute, but she makes good on her word. She leads Lupe to the couch, pulls a blanket out of the basket, and brings it back to cover up the carrier. Tío hisses at her. She ignores him.

She checks on Lupe on her way back to the kitchen, finding her watching her silently. “I’ll be right back,” she says, and heads into the kitchen. She pulls another mug out of the cabinet, this one a standard shape and white, with an assortment of native plants of Saskatchewan printed on it, and fills it with coffee. There’s just enough left in the press to almost fill the mug. Jess puts five sugars in (Jesus, Lupe), stirs, and grabs her own mug to bring to the coffee table.

When she gets back, she finds Lupe picking up the coasters and setting them back on the table. She hands her her coffee, then sets hers on one of the coasters. “Do you want your breakfast?” she asks, and Lupe pauses, then nods.

“I can get it,” she says, standing, but Jess puts her hand firmly on her shoulder.

“No, you sit, I’ll do it.”

She’s back in seconds and hands Lupe her plate before sitting down cross-legged on the couch.

“So, what’s wrong?” she asks Lupe.

Lupe snorts and looks away. “My cat’s an asshole,” she says.

Jess laughs. “I mean, we knew that going in. I knew that going in.” She lifts her plate up so she can prod Lupe with her foot. Lupe gives a short laugh, but her brow furrows. “I’m serious, Lu, I meant it. It’s just a mug.”

Lupe takes in a breath, holds it. She’s staring at the door. “It’s not, though,” she lets out, finally.

Jess frowns. The phrase puts a little jolt through her heart, but she wracks her brains, looking for any sign that Lupe is breaking up with her, and can’t find any, so she forces herself to be calm. “Meaning?” she asks.

Lupe’s quiet for another moment, then says “I mean, I really like you. I like everything about you. I like the things we do together, I like that we do things apart, I can see us doing this for, well, a lot longer than this…” she takes another deep breath and lets it out slowly, “…and the only barrier I can see to that is this damn cat.” She looks quickly at Jess, coloring slightly. “And like the fact that we’ve only been dating for six months and I don’t know how you feel about all that and like. I don’t want to cramp your style or anything.” She takes, frankly, a huge bite of her toast and washes it down with coffee.

There is a lot Jess wants to say to this, but there’s also a smile creeping onto her face so she says what’s on her mind first. “So,” she says, “this is your backdoor into U-Hauling with me,” and she watches as Lupe splutters.

“Oh god, no! No, Jess, I promise, I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable or like rush this or anything!” Her face is so red, Jess wonders idly if she could fry an egg on it. “I just,” she reaches for Jess’s hands and Jess lets her take them, “I really like you and I don’t want to fuck this up. Or have my dumbass cat fuck this up.” She swallows and looks away. “I’m sorry about your mug.”

And god if Jess isn’t just fully in love with this person. If she doesn’t want to kiss her senseless and say yes, she wants this too. If she doesn’t want to frisbee the eggs across the room and fuck her on the couch right now. So, she takes a breath. She reaches up a hand and fiddles with Lu’s necklace, leaning her head in close. “You’re not fucking this up,” she says quietly, and it’s suddenly very hard to meet Lupe’s eyes. “Your cat isn’t either. And I loved that mug, but it was just a thing, Lu.” She does look up here and finds Lupe watching her hand on her necklace, almost transfixed, and it’s so… God, Jess doesn’t know what, but she drops the necklace and reaches up to cup her face, then draws their lips together.

It's a charged kiss. A slow, but desperate kiss. Not desperate like they’re scared they’ll lose each other, desperate in the way of wanting to tell the other something, show the other something, and fuck if Jess is going to try and tell her any other way.

A jostling on her legs reminds her of the plate in her lap and she breaks off, briefly, to move the dishes to the table, then pulls Lupe onto her lap.

The kiss that follows sears her to her core and she reaches up to fist a hand in Lupe’s curls. Lupe moans. Jess takes the opportunity to move her lips to Lupe’s neck and hears Lupe’s breath catch in her throat, hears her gasp as Jess sucks hard at her neck, then soothes the spot with her tongue.

They’re working fast now, Lupe’s hands are on her back, on her hips, in her hair, and Jess reaches her hands under Lupe’s shirt to palm a breast, feeling her nipple harden.

Lupe tries to do the same to her, is pulling on the hem of her shirt, but Jess takes a moment to gently push her hands away and pulls back slightly to shake her head. “This is all you, babe,” she says.

The look Lupe gives her…devastating. She’s all blown pupils and kiss-swollen lips and an expression like she understands exactly what Jess is trying to say. And she nods. And she lets Jess lay her down on the couch. And Jess has never seen a more beautiful woman in all her life.

Jess pulls her shirt up and Lupe has to sit up a little to take it off (poor planning on Jess’ part), but once it’s off, Lupe lays there in all her glory, hair haloing her face, and Jess holds her gaze and she leans down and takes a nipple in her mouth.

Lupe takes a shuddering breath, then shuts her eyes and fists a hand in her own hair. Jess’ tongue works at the nipple and Lupe’s breaths come faster, faster, her eyes fluttering closed, then back open to watch. Jess grins, then takes her mouth away by a few centimeters.

“What,” Lupe breathes, irate, “the fuck—”

And then Jess comes back with teeth and there are no more words out of Lupe’s mouth.

Jess’ teeth graze her nipple, then her tongue, and then her hand comes up to Lupe’s hip, her thumb stroking deep over the bone, and Lupe’s mouth opens in a silent ‘O.’

Jess watches her, drinking it in, not sure if she could ever stop watching her, relishing in her reactions as her thumb strokes her hipbone over and over.

“Jess,” Lupe gasps out, “McCready I swear to god…”

Jess pauses her tongue politely and looks up, smiling innocently. “You swear to god what?” she says.

The look Lupe gives her would kill a lesser man.

“If you don’t move your hand and do something about this,” Lupe gestures to herself, “in the next ten seconds…”

Jess grins. “Something like this?” she says, and tugs Lupe’s waistband down an inch, moving her other hand to Lupe’s other hip and repeating the same ministrations as her first hand.

“McCready!” Lupe spits out, and Jess chuckles, softly, before she begins the slow, agonizing journey of pulling Lupe’s pants off her ass, then over her thighs, then entirely off and into a heap on the ground.

“Missed something,” Lupe says irritably, snapping the waistband of her underwear, and Jess just laughs, lifting herself onto her elbow to kiss Lupe.

“So demanding,” she says, and runs one finger over the outside of Lupe’s underwear. Lupe whimpers, before hiding her face in the couch cushions.

“God, Jess, please,” she says, and Jess knows she’s frowning. “This is fucking embarrassing.” Jess just laughs and runs her finger over her underwear again, pressing harder this time. Lupe gasps. “I swear to god, you goddamn—”

Jess pushes down hard on where she knows Lupe’s clit is and Lupe moans into the couch cushions. Jess pulls her underwear aside and slides a finger down Lupe’s folds, marveling at the slickness she finds there. She brings her mouth back to the side of Lupe’s breast and runs her finger up and down the first layer, feeling Lupe’s breath hitch each time she approaches her clit and hearing her exhale each time she nears her entrance.

“I— Fuck. Holy— Jesus Jess, shit!”

As Lupe’s breaths quicken and her hips start to buck into her, Jess uses her free hand to draw Lupe’s mouth to hers, then thrusts her middle finger inside, swallowing her moan.

It’s quick after this. Jess thrusts her finger in over and over, slipping another in when Lupe clutches at her back, and just at the climax, she brings her other hand down to thumb over her clit. Lupe clenches down over her hand in waves, her breaths coming out in sighs, and she pulls Jess to her and kisses her, hard.

“You,” she breathes out. “You fucking angel. You beautiful thing.” And Jess, suddenly overwhelmed, breaks down and bursts into fucking tears.

-----

“God, who are you, Jenny from The L Word?” Jo asks over a cigarette in the alley behind Jess’ building. Jess shoves her.

“It just happened, ok?” she says, and Jo laughs, stumbling out of arm’s reach. “I just, she was being so sweet and we were, like, together, and I just.” She trails off.

“Let loose the waterworks?” Jo dances even further out of Jess’ reach as Jess rolls her eyes.

“Yeah I guess,” she says, and puts her head in her hand.

Jo slides back in and puts an arm over her shoulder. “Hey buddy, don’t get so down! It just means that you’re a little Cancer baby, this is normal!”

Jess rolls her eyes. “So you tell me, you fucking Leo,” she says, but she leans into the hug.

Jo giggles at her expression. “What, did she laugh at you or something?” She leans forward to look Jess in the eye. “I’ll fight her, Jess. Striker ain’t got nothing on the Bazooka, I’m tellin’ ya.” She flexes and kisses her bicep.

Jess laughs. “Sure, keep telling yourself that,” she tells Jo.

Jo spreads her arm in protest. “She’s a matchstick!”

Jess just laughs and stubs out her cigarette.

It’s comfortable on the elevator ride back up to the apartment. Jo is a solid presence, calming in her surety, the ease of her stance. She fills the space with chatter about her job, about Greta, about Maybelle and her girls, and Jess sinks into the chatter, absorbing it.

When they get to her floor, Jess leads Jo down the hall and unlocks her door, pausing before opening it to make sure Tío doesn’t try to escape. The door clear, she lets Jo in.

The dishes are still on the coffee table where they had left them earlier and Jess notes with sadness her untouched toast. It seems a shame to waste it, but it’s even worse to eat stale toast, so Jess scoops up the plates and brings them to the sink.

“So where is the bastard?” Jo asks, and as if on cue, Jess hears a hiss. “Whoa,” Jo says, and Jess peeks around the corner to see Jo backing away from her armchair, arms raised.

“You found him,” Jess says, as Tío, under the chair, swipes at the air.

“Jesus, he is MEAN,” Jo says, crouching down to look at him. She takes hold of a book on the coffee table, some romance Lupe left there, and slowly moves it towards Tío. He swipes at it, hisses, but the book just keeps coming. Eventually, confused, he gives a little peep and turns around, trotting quickly to the kitchen.

Jess laughs. “You outfoxed him,” she says to Jo, but Jo is frowning.

“You know he’s limping?” she asks.

Jess frowns back. “What?”

Jo points. “He’s limping,” she says, and stands up to follow him.

Jess whips her head around to watch the cat. He’s standing at the water bowl, taking a drink, so it’s impossible to tell, but she crosses the room to him and he looks up and walks away as she approaches.

“Son of a bitch,” Jess says under her breath. Jo’s right. Ever so slightly, Tío is favoring left front leg. “Holy shit…”

“Yeah, right there,” Jo says, pointing again. Now that she’s pointed it out, Jess can see it clearly. “Was he not doing that earlier?”

Jess wracks her brains and comes up empty. “No, I don’t think so,” she says. “But I don’t know! I didn’t notice it until you said something!” Her breath is coming shallowly. She prays to any god who will listen that this doesn’t get back to her Uncle Chester in Saskatchewan, who’d taken her on hunting trips since she was a child, that a wounded animal lived in her apartment and she didn’t notice it. God, Lupe probably doesn’t know either.

Jess takes a breath, then clears her throat. “Ok, well let’s catch him then.”

Jo looks at her askance. “Why?”

“We gotta take him to the vet,” she says. Jo opens her mouth to say something and Jess rolls her eyes. “I have to take him to the vet,” she says.

Jo nods. “I have to get to Greta’s by five, but I’ll help make sure this guy doesn’t kill anyone on the subway, at least for part of the ride.” Jess nods. It’s more than she would have asked from Jo, so she’ll take it. Jo wipes her hands on her pants. “So,” she says, “how do we catch him?”

Jess thinks for a minute. “I don’t know,” she admits finally. “Lupe kinda,” she mimes with her hands, “dove and caught him earlier, but I think that was mostly luck.”

Jo nods. “Does he like anything?”

No, Jess wants to say, suffering, pain, but then she remembers something from earlier. “Wet food!” she says, remembering how Tío had wound himself around Lupe, purring as she opened the can.

Jo wrinkles her nose. “Gross.”

“He’s a cat, Jo,” Jess says, then crosses to the paper bag Lupe had brought with Tío’s things. Sure enough, inside is another can of wet food. “Come on,” she says, and walks over to his carrier in the living room.

She kneels down next to it and holds the can up, then pops the lid, peeling it back. Just like before, Tío comes trotting into the room, chirping, and walks right up to the can, trying to figure out how to get it without interacting with Jess. Jess hesitates.

“What are you doing?” Jo asks. “Put the can in there!” She gestures at the carrier.

“I don’t want him to cut himself on the rim,” Jess says.

“Then you could just dump it in there.”

Jess pulls a face. “Gross,” she says.

Jo shrugs. “Do you want to catch this thing or not?”

Jess sighs, then nods. “I do, I do.” Quickly, she shoves her hand into the carrier and dumps the wet food onto the floor, tapping it a few times to get everything out. Tío is in the carrier faster than she can get her hand out and as soon as her fingers are free, she slams the door shut and latches it.

Tío yowls inside, thrashing around and, Jess notes with a twinge of guilt, getting wet food all over his fur, but he’s been caught.

“You don’t want to wait for Lupe for this?” Jo asks, eyeing the jerking carrier, and Jess shakes her head.

“No, she’s helping Esti pick up a new chair for her apartment today.” Jess had wanted to go too, but she had already made plans with Jo today when Esti asked. “The vet will be closed by the time she gets back.”

Jo cocks her head to the side, nodding. “Fair point.”

So the two of them put on their shoes, grab the cat carrier, and make their way to the closest vet.

-----

Hours later, Jess drags a drugged-up Tío back into her apartment and finds Lupe sitting on the couch, arms crossed. “So I get back from moving this chair with Esti on the subway and find that my cat is missing?” she says. Jess has learned from experience that, even though it sounds like a question, it isn’t.

Jess gingerly steps inside and closes the door before responding. “Look,” she starts, but Lupe is already up off the couch and crouching in front of the carrier.

“Oh my god, what did you do to him?” she asks, alarm spiking in her voice.

“Nothing!” Jess says. Lupe’s hands are fumbling on the latch of the carrier and before Jess can stop her, she’s got the door open and is reaching in. Jess hears a yowl from within and Lupe pulls her hand out, a bright red mark on her thumb. Jess sets the carrier down, a little unceremoniously, and holds Lupe’s shoulders to keep her from hurting herself further. “Lu,” she says, “hold on.” She looks her in the eyes. “Do you trust me?”

“With my cat? I have to say you’re on pretty thin ice with that one right now, McCready.”

Jess nods, that’s fair. “Ok, but in general?” she asks.

“What did you do to my cat, Jess?” Lupe asks, and her words are a brick wall, but Jess can hear the desperation behind them.

Jess wants to pull her into her arms, but instead, she says “I took him to the vet.”

Lupe is suddenly alarmed again, shrugging Jess’ arms off her and leaning around to see into the carrier. “Oh my god, is he ok?” She leans in close. “Tío?” she asks, as if he can answer her.

“He’s fine!” Jess says, turning to follow her. Her legs are all pretzeled up beneath her, but there’s too much going on to sort them out. “Jo noticed he was limping, so I took him in.” She swallows. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice, Lu, I’m so sorry.”

Lupe is not soothed by this news. “Did he hurt himself? Why was he limping?”

Jess shakes her head. “No, he was only limping slightly. I don’t really know how Jo even noticed it. We, um, we took him to the vet though, and got him an x-ray, and the vet said that he had an old fracture on his left front leg that hadn’t healed properly.” She looks at Lupe, softly, pointedly. “I wonder if he injured that leg in the fight. You know, when you took him in?”

Lupe’s still for a moment, then nods slowly, taking it in. “Yeah, that, or even before that fight,” she says. She rocks back on her heels, finally thinking. “You took him to the vet?” she asks.

Jess nods.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Lupe says. “I could have taken him when I got back.” She snorts. “Hell, I was only gone a couple of hours.” She smiles at Jess, then her eyes widen. “Wait, shit, x-rays are expensive!” she says. “Shit, how much do I owe you?”

And here’s the thing. Here’s where the rationale breaks down. This was a big spending item for a pet that was not hers, about $400 when everything was added up, but also, Jess can’t fully bring herself to care? Tío is a pain in the ass, but Lupe cares about him and Jess feels bad that Lupe felt like Tío wasn’t welcome in her apartment.

And, well, there’s the whole “she’s is in love with her” thing, even if she hasn’t said it.

So Jess just shrugs, inspects her fingernails (bad, they need to be cleaned), and chews her lip for a moment before saying “Oh, you know, a hundred bucks.”

Lupe snorts. “Yeah, sure, McCready.”

“I know, it was weird,” Jess says, fanning her nails out. “The vet said I got a discount for being the coolest person he’d ever seen.” This doesn’t pull a laugh from Lupe and Jess finally looks up.

Lupe is looking at her with an expression Jess hasn’t seen before. She looks… Desperate, Jess realizes. Desperate and a little lost. Jess freezes. “It’s fine,” she says before Lupe can open her mouth. “Seriously, it’s fine, don’t—”

“Jess,” Lupe says, and her voice breaks a little. She clears her throat. “Jess, I can’t ask you to foot my vet bill.”

Jess studies her for a second, then goes back to checking her cuticles, though she’s sure she’s fully broken the illusion by now. “It’s fine,” she says. “Seriously, I can handle part of it.” She looks up. “I want to.” The look Lupe gives her? Devastating. She pushes past it though and says her next part. “The vet says it’s treatable too. They can’t reset the bone or anything, but you can alternate some pain meds and it’ll help with the pain.” She looks back down, unable to look at Lupe and say the next part. “Which,” she starts, “is why I want to pay for this visit, or at least part of it, because I did the math and if you want to treat him it’ll cost you about one-fifty a month.” She bites her lip and looks back up. “So, I want to help you out on this visit because like, I sprang this on you, I just took him, and it’ll cost you more in the long run so just let me get this. You can give me a hundred bucks and like get the pizza the next time or two and we’ll call it square.”

Lupe looks at her for a moment longer, then looks down and says “I…can’t decide if I’m going to kill you or marry you one day.” Heat rises in Jess’ cheeks, but before she can panic Lupe looks up and points. “I’m leaning towards kill right now, so we’re clear. You took my cat somewhere without telling me? You brought him back all fucked up like that and you didn’t even think to text me about it?” Jess looks down, cheeks pinking for an entirely different reason. “But, y’know,” Lupe continues, a little sheepish, “you also took care of him when you noticed he was in pain. Without asking. So like, I’m not entirely mad about it.”

Jess looks up a little, just meeting Lupe’s eyes. They both look at each other for a moment, searching, waiting, until Lupe closes her eyes and laughs. “God, you’re so stupid,” she says, then looks up, grinning. Jess can tell she doesn’t really mean it, but she’d take it if she did. Lupe shakes her head, then gestures towards herself. “Get over here,” she says, and sits back until she’s cross-legged on the ground. Jess finally un-pretzels her legs and, well, essentially crawls over to Lupe, who draws her into a tight hug.

The positioning is awkward, but the feeling behind the hug is genuine as Lupe buries her face in Jess’ shoulder and breathes in deep. They stay like that long enough that Jess feels her body relax and she all but melts into Lupe. She lets go of tension she didn’t know she was holding and feels, finally, at peace.

“Um” she says, releasing something she thought she was over at this point, “thanks for not, like, laughing when I cried earlier.”

And Lupe laughs at that, but it isn’t mean or cruel. She pulls back and cups her hands around Jess’ face. “Aww, babe, have you been worrying about that?” She brushes Jess’ cheeks lightly with her thumbs and Jess feels her face heat up.

“I—” she starts, then looks away. “Maybe.”

Lupe laughs again, softly, and then gently pulls Jess’ lips to hers. “Nothing to worry about. Thank you for taking care of my cat,” she says, and presses a chaste kiss there.

She pulls back and Jess looks into her eyes, then blinks and looks down at her lips. She’s…god she’s at a loss for words. All she can think is how stupidly, irrevocably in love she is and all she can say is…nothing. The words simply don’t come out. So, she pushes past her beating heart and simply leans in for another kiss, capturing Lupe’s lips with own.

It’s different from earlier, less confidence, less raw passion, but the feeling… She can’t tell Lupe how she feels, the strength of her feeling, but she can do this.

She kisses Lupe like she’s running out of air, trying to pour all she can into this moment, to say it without saying it, and she thinks it works, because Lupe, finally, pulls back and watches her, breathing heavily, her lips parted. And then Lupe smiles.

“If you’re trying to fuck me again, McCready, my only request is that we do it on a bed this time.”

And Jess just rolls her eyes and laughs.

-----

The bar is crowded when they arrive and buzzing with voices and laughter. Lupe drops Jess’ hand to open the door for her and Jess takes the opportunity to pull her guitar lengthwise against her body to avoid hitting people with it.

They make their way through the crowded first room, up the ramp, and to the second room with the stage. Jess finds the open mic sign-up table by the wall and joins the line while Lupe goes off to find them a few seats together.

Jess hears a shriek behind her and has just enough time to lean her guitar against the wall before she catches Esti in her arms, moving them just far enough away from the line to swing her around in a circle. “Hey kid!” she says, grinning.

Esti beams at her. “Hello Jess!” she says. She bounces away from her embrace and holds out a small gift bag. “This is from Lupe,” she says, then thinks better of it and takes it back. “Or, I should give to her…” she says, thinking.

Lupe walks up just then and rolls her eyes. “Great job keeping the surprise, kid,” she mutters.

Esti hands the gift bag over and says “Lo siento!” She puts her hands up and grimaces.

Jess reaches over and rubs her shoulder blade. “I’m sure it’s alright,” she tells her, then turns to Lupe. “What is it though? You didn’t have to get me anything.”

Lupe looks nervous, starts to reach into the bag, and then pulls her hand out and hands it to Jess. “You can just open it,” she says. “And I did, kinda, I— Well, you’ll see when you open it.”

Jess takes the bag curiously and reaches inside. She pulls out the tissue paper at the top and peers in and—

Oh.

Inside is a mug. It’s blue, handmade, and the glaze has melted into these little rivulets of lighter and darker blue, almost like little paisleys. The handle is slim, with a little piece on top to rest your thumb, and the form is wider in the middle and then tapered smaller near the base, almost like a vase. It’s beautiful.

She reaches in and picks it up, finding it to be light, but still solid-feeling. She looks at Lupe and sticks her tongue in her cheek to suppress the smile curling onto her face.

“I, I felt bad about breaking your mug the other day,” Lupe says, “or, well, about Tío breaking your mug, so I dragged Esti to a pottery place after we moved the chair.”

“¡Y luego lo olvidó en mi casa!” Esti says gleefully.

Jess looks to Lupe, not having caught every word and Lupe dips her head and says “She says I forgot it at her place, which I did.” She elbows Esti. “Eres muy mala guardando secretos, ¿eh?” She turns to Jess. “Bad at secrets,” she says. Esti rolls her eyes.

Lupe and Esti go off to hold down the table Lupe found and Jess grabs her guitar off the wall and moves up in line. She’d been debating what to play tonight on the way over, refusing to tell Lupe the options she was thinking about. One of the songs, The Indigo Girls’ “Galileo,” was a safe choice, classic, but it wasn’t really what she wanted to play tonight. The person at the head of the line moves on and Jess steps forward, picking up the pen and writing “Jess McCready, guitar,” on the line. She sets the pen down and picks up her guitar, heading back to the table.

Lupe’s hair catches the low light in the bar, accentuating her curls, and for a second, Jess can’t catch her breath. Yes, she’s going with the riskier choice tonight. It might be sappy, but if she can’t say it yet to Lupe, then maybe she can sing it and it would get still her message across.

She sits down in the third chair of their little table and Lupe slides a beer her way. Jess smiles. “Thanks hon,” she says, and squeezes her hand briefly before taking the beer.

The host of the open-mic gets up on stage soon after, panders to the crowd, and then introduces the first act. It’s one of the regulars at this open-mic. He pulls out a ukulele and starts strumming and Jess chuckles. He’s not Jess’ favorite act, but she appreciates his dedication.

Lu’s hand slips into hers during the third ask and Jess takes it appreciatively. She leans in. “I just realized I never thanked you for the mug.”

Lupe blushes. “You don’t have to, I’m replacing something that was broken.”

“Yeah,” Jess says, “but it’s beautiful.” She kisses Lupe’s cheek and Lupe leans into it. “Thank you,” she says.

There’s a quiet whoop from behind them and they glance back see Esti grinning at them. Lupe rolls her eyes and reaches back to bat Esti away, but Jess chuckles, reaching over Lupe to squeeze Esti’s hand.

Finally, a little while later, it’s Jess’ turn to play. The MC calls her up to the stage and vamps while she sets up. She slips the strap of her guitar over her head and plugs it into the amp, giving it an experimental strum. She’d tuned it earlier while waiting for the show to start, so now there’s nothing left to do but put the capo on and start talking.

“This song,” she begins, and has to swallow. “This song,” she tries again, “is one I haven’t played in a while. I was actually going to play some Indigo Girls tonight, but over the past few days, I…” She won’t air her laundry, clean or dirty, on the stage in a bar, won’t give too much away. “…I felt it was time to pull this one back out.” She reaches up, unclips her capo from the end of her guitar, and slides it onto the second fret, then strums it again. “So, here goes,” she says. She finds Lupe’s eyes in the crowd and her lips quirk up. “Sometimes The Indigo Girls won’t cut it and you have to play a little Brandi.”

Lupe chuckles with the rest of the crowd, but Jess sees it die on her lips as she arpeggios the opening chords. She lets the last one linger, takes a deep breath, and starts to sing.

“All of these lines across my face,” she sings, and a mild cheer goes through the audience as they recognize “The Story.” She laughs into her next line and keeps singing.

“Tell you the story of who I am,

So many stories of where I’ve been,

And how I got to where I am.”

She opens her eyes and finds Lupe watching her, a softness come over her features. She almost can’t look at her for the next part, but lets herself fall into the music, holding her gaze.

“Oh, but these stories don’t mean anything

If you’ve got no one to tell them to,

It’s true…”

Jess finds she does have to close her eyes to get the last part out, but she thinks it’s alright. She thinks Lupe will still get the message even if she can’t look at her.

“…I was made for you.”

She’s able to get through the rest of the song with no problems. She kicks it up a notch on the second verse to the cheers of the crowd, looking at Lupe for “You made me feel like a million bucks.” Lupe laughs and Esti leans forward, shaking her shoulder. Jess has to look away from the ensuing argument to keep from laughing and keeps playing.

She finishes the song, taking the energy back down, and finds that, once again, she can’t look Lupe in the eyes as she sings the last line, so she closes her eyes and lifts her head, crooning out the last “Well it’s true that I was made for you!”

The bar erupts in applause as the last notes drift through the air, but Jess only has eyes for Lupe as she opens her eyes. It’s dark, the bar dims the house lights during the show, but Jess could swear that Lupe’s cheeks are red. The feeling swells up within her and she makes herself look anywhere else as she smiles and begins unplugging her guitar.

“Thank you, thank you,” she says and slips the strap from over her head, holding it by the neck as she maneuvers her way off stage and back to her seat.

When she gets back to the table, Lupe is just looking at her, a smile on her face.

Esti leans over the table and shakes Jess’ arm. “So good!” she whisper-shouts. “You made this one,” she pulls her hands back and mimes crying, using her fingers to show tears running down her face.

Lupe gives her a look. “I did not cry!” she says. She turns to Jess. “I didn’t.”

Jess laughs. “I know, I was watching you guys,” she says.

Lupe nods, her cheeks coloring a little more. “Good, good, yeah,” she says. “Wouldn’t want my reputation to be ruined by a half-pint ball player who can’t move her own chair into her apartment.” She turns to Esti and translates into Spanish. Esti scoffs and sits back, crossing her arms. Lupe laughs, leaning her head on the back of her chair, then turns back to Jess. “You did really good up there though,” she says softly, and pulls her in by her shirt collar for a kiss.

Jess smiles into it. “Thanks,” she says when they pull back, bringing a hand up to briefly cup Lupe’s face. Then, she pulls away and points to her guitar, kneeling down and opening her case. She puts the guitar away, laying it gently back to rest, and closes her case with a snap. She smiles at Lupe as she gets back up, raising her eyebrows and slipping into her seat just as the next act begins. She hears Lupe chuckle next to her, feels her place a hand on her thigh.

And as her hand settles into place, Jess thinks about how true those words at the end of “The Story” are. It’s early, she doesn’t want to jinx anything, but she has honestly never felt so comfortable, so seen, with anyone before now. It scares her a little, but there’s also this certainty to it, this feeling of rightness. She takes her hand. Yeah, she figures, if she’s made for anyone in this world, it might as well be Lupe.

She squeezes her hand and Lupe squeezes back.

#aloto #a league of their own #jess mccready #lupe garcia #jesslupe #jelupe #apparently lol #esti gonzalez #jo deluca #my fanfiction #god this was supposed to be less than 2000 words and instead it's 9000 #*obligatory 'it's over 9000'*

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obeiii-mee · 5 years ago

Note

How will the bros react to MC self-doubting themselves? Like saying bad things about them or can't be serious someone give them compliment.

Supportive demon bois coming right up! Sorry I took so long to write this anon! Thank you so much for the ask! (Also, thank you all for the love on my previous posts!)

————————————

The Brothers with an MC who self doubts themselves:

Lucifer:

-As the embodiment of pride itself, Lucifer has an overwhelming amount of confidence, almost all the damn time

-So, he was flabbergasted to learn that you weren’t the same

-He always insisted that you aren’t anything but perfect, yet you always seemed to brush the compliments off with a shrug and an awkward smile

-Well, shit, we can’t have that

-Lucifer just got 10x more serious about the matter

-He pulls a really stupid concerned face whenever you insult yourself and he looks more and more like a 48 year old man/dad each time it happens

-He, as of late, increased the number of pet names he has for you and the amount of compliments he gives you each day

-He refuses to let you talk badly about yourself anywhere, at any point in time and encourages every little step you take towards bettering yourself like crazy

- Lucifer wants to prove to you that you are an absolute ray of sunshine and he will go to any lengths to do just that (do not ask)

-He’s even more affectionate than usual which confuses just about everyone in the House of Lamentation, yourself included

-His brothers are feeling a disturbance in the force and they don’t know how to feel about it

-You are possibly the best thing that’s happened to him since he fell as angel and Lucifer is ready to do whatever he can to help you realise that

Mammon:

-“You’re an idiot!”

-“*Sigh*, I know.”

-“Wha-Wait! Y-you can’t say thAT!”

-The Great Mammon is seriously worried about his human

-Being the dense motherfucker he is (i still love him tho) it took him weeks to realise you’re not all that confident in yourself

-At some point in your relationship, he jokingly called you annoying and you just went “Yeah I’ve been told. Sorry.”

-His jaw literally dropped and he almost cried

-He would have choked if he was drinking something

-Tsundere Mammon has gone bye bye and here comes the cuddling teddy bear that is your boyfriend

-He also doesn’t have as much self love for himself as he sometimes pretends to have so he’s kinda in the same boat

-Which means your boat is leaking and you’re perfectly fine with it while he’s panicking and trying to throw water overboard with his hands

-His brothers call him an idiot a lot but he’s a very sociable guy with people skills that he uses all the time in order to coax you out of your self pitiying shell

-Will whine every time you call yourself ‘useless’ or disagree with his compliments because what the hell, you’re literally the most gorgeous being ever let me love youuuu

-When it comes to you and your happiness, he ain’t fucking around. He will snarl at anyone that even looks at you in the wrong way

-Did that to Lucifer once, guess a what happened

-You’ve definitely helped him come to terms with the fact that he is loveable and not a good for nothing scum

-So now it’s your turn!

-Let him kiss your insecurities away please

-Your presence makes him feel wanted so he wants the same for you!

Levi:

-Well then

-It takes two to tango ya know?

-He is the KING of self loathing and no confidence whatsoever in anything he does so every time you put yourself down, he counters it with a self deprecating insult as well

-“I suck.”

-“Nah, you’re pretty awesome normie. I’m the shut in, disgusting otaku who can barely set foot outside his bedroom without having an anxiety attack.”

-It’s like you’re trying to outdo the other on who is worse

-Truth is, he really admires you, especially knowing you chose to date him; an anime nerd with no social life and no communication skills whatsoever

-It hurts a bit, every time he builds up the courage to actually compliment you and you not taking it seriously

-That’s because he recognises that he’s the same and just as harsh on himself as you are

-Levi knows self hatred is something that takes time to demolish

-But you are his Henry after all (also his partner but whatevs)

-He’s not gonna leave you hanging when you need him the most

-He also gradually stops calling you a normie as your relationship progresses, though it still slips through every now and again

-Basically, the first time he realised that you think negatively of yourself, his immediate reaction was: Haha lmao relatable

-But now, every time it happens, he gets all serious

-Puts his controller down and everything, it’s like witnessing a very rare phenomenon and it’s creepy as shit

-He’s also made an effort to be more physically affection though he is kinda shy about it because damn it he just wants to hug you every time you speak badly of yourself

-Probably writes a list at some point stating all the reasons why you are better than him and Ruri chan combined, it’s rlly sweet

Satan:

-He’s a bit curious as to where that mentality has come from

-What triggered you to be so self doubtful?

-He’s basically your psychotherapist and asks you a lot of questions trying to find different causes and solutions for your issues

-Honestly, he puts so much effort into trying to understand, reading books about it from the human realm and whatever he can find in order to help you

-He scrunches up his nose every time you call yourself an idiot or anything of the sort

-Satan knows that insisting you’re wonderful won’t exactly help you overcome this problem of yours

-But that doesn’t stop him from doing it

-It’s not like you can ignore his comments because he will keep complimenting you until you accept them

-He also repeats a lot of pick up lines but that’s just part of being his partner

-What do you mean you’re worthless?!! He would literally give away all of his books and his hatred for Lucifer in exchange for your well being!

-Satan is possibly the smartest out of all of his brothers, so he uses a tactical approach on this one

-Direct affectionate gestures don’t work on you so he’s gonna be more subtle

-Would slightly hint that you are amazing every time you do something for him, like fetching him a book or something

-“Ah thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you love.”

-He’s a lot smoother than he gives himself credit for

-He just appreciates your existence and that there’s someone out there that he doesn’t need to be act hostile or fake toward

-Satan is ready to sit down and listen to you talk about your insecurities for hours on end

-You would quietly say something bad about yourself and he would run through the House of Lamentation before bursting into the room you are in, shouting ‘No! That’s wrong!’ (going Danganronpa on your asses)

-“Welp, I fucked up again. I can’t do anything right.”

-And then, in the distance you hear boss music starting

Asmo:

-*Shocked Gasp*

-How could you say such things about yourself???? Is that even leGAl?

-Of course, the literally prince of Lust, with all of his narcissism, has never experienced things like ‘self doubt’ of ‘bad self esteem’

-Pfft, the fuck is that?

-He only uses the most positive of words when he describes himself

-So obviously he almost falls off the bed when he hears you insulting yourself for the first time

-But ya know, that would leave bruises on his beautiful skin

-“Oh darling, you’re not annoying or a moron! You’re not anything like Mammon!”

-That was a below belt fatal hit, press f in the chat for the second eldest

-At some point, he just genuinely believes you’ve been spending too much time with Levi and that his negativity started rubbing off on you

-But then you tell him you’ve always been like this and he almost has a crisIS

-He’s like ‘Haha, no, we’re going to get a spa day out tomorrow and a few shopping sprees so I can prove to you that you are magnificent in every way imaginable.’

-Asmo loves pampering you in general but on the days he sees you feeling extra sorry for yourself, he goes above and beyond

-Gets very hurt when you brush off his compliments because he just wants you to accept the fact that you’re beautiful

-He’s like a supportive mom lmao, whenever you’re feeling self doubtful, he goes “You’re doing great sweetie, keep it up I’m really proud of you.”

-It’s up to you to decide whether that helps or not

-He’s such a sweetheart in reality, it’s hard to remember that he’s supposed to be horny all the time

-Well he is but that’s not the point, you’re way more important

-Asmo is so much fun to write cuz I can make him so dramatic it’s hilarious

Beel:

-Oh no :(

-He gets very sad everytime you self deprecate yourself

-You can’t do it with him in the room because he’s going to start crying and give you this kicked puppy stare, it will break your heart

-Beel kinda comes over and goes “If I give you some of my food will you please stop saying bad things about yourself? Because it’s not true.”

-Well you can’t say no to that face

-He feels like it’s his fault you’re this self doubtful even though you’ve tried to explain to him you’ve always been like this

-He goes crying to his twin half the time because he doesn’t know what to do

-“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to drop it! Fucking hell, I’m such a fucking klutz.”

-“Sniffle no you’re not.”

-He’s like, giving you large portions of his food now

-Because food makes him happy so he wants you to be happy too

-🙂

-His brothers go in shock every time because the only other person Beel has ever shared his food with before was Belphie

-Physical affection goes through the roof with this guy

-Bone crushing hugs btw

-Your self worth is so immeasurable with him, you can’t even measure it

-W h o a

-I’m being serious, don’t talk badly about yourself in front of him unless you want to be hugged into next week

-You are a literal angel in his eyes, of course he thinks highly of you

-He’s just hoping his presence isn’t making your self esteem worse, that’s the thing that keeps him up at night

-Idk why but he does think that he is a bad influence on your mental well being since he’s a demon

-Beel gives you compliments all the time and it confuses him when you laugh them off uncertainly because he wasn’t joking or lying??

-He’s always supportive of your choices and encourages you to be more confident

-The same way you show your support everytime you come to his games to cheer him on

-Overall, he just wants you to feel special and appreciated

-Because you deserve it

-IneedmyselfaBeel

Belphie:

-He feels like absolute shit

-Becuase he’s well aware he‘s called you a few...not so nice words in the past

-Back then, he only thought he meant everything he said but now that he’s hearing you accept his insults and actually repeating them yourself?

-It hurts his brain and he wants to smash his head against all four walls of the room for being such a cretin

-You do tell him it’s not exactly his fault you think so badly of yourself

-But he still believes he fueled it

-So now he needs to fix it

-He’s tried everything and I mean everything

-It’s kinda working, slow progress is made which he’s really happy about but you know, it’s gonna take a while

-He finally settles on physical affection as the best way to communicate his gratefulness for you being youself

-Oh, he wasn’t hugging you before? He is now, get your ass next to him and let him cuddle you

-Handholding has increased by 69% in the last month, sorry for the loss of your right hand with how much he squeezes it

-Sometimes, he can’t help but a throw an insult at you in a playful manner, because he’s an asshole

-But he always makes sure you understand that he was just joking

-He’s such a little shit, you would be having a chat with him and you would subtly drop a insult at yourself hoping he wouldn’t notice

-But then he stops dead in his tracks, kisses you, says “Shut up, you’re stunning” and then he goes right back to the previous conversation like nothing happened

-Accept his compliments damn it otherwise he will continue to bug you about it for the rest of the day

-He’s an eboy and he’s a dickhead a times, but he just goes soft for you tbh

-If you’re feeling really bad about yourself, he won’t even say anything

-He will just big spoon you for the next 24 hours, good luck going to the bathroom or any meals during that time

-Because once you’re in his grip, you’re not getting out that easily

-He gets so pissy if anyone says something even slightly negative about you to your face

-One time, a random demon called you stupid in one of the classes at RAD and he was like ‘bïtch excuse me what?’

-Snapped his head around at him and everything

-He would have done something worse but he was lazy and feeling really petty

-So Belphie kicked him in the privates from under his desk like a damn spoiled brat

-And then he turned his head back to you, all smiles and rainbows and puppies

-I’m simping so hard for a fictional character wtf

-I had to write more protective Belphie cuz I can’t find anything of the sort anymore and I need flUFF

(Haha, I don’t know what this post is, my writing has officially taken a shit lmao. Sorry this took so long to finish, I kept going back to edit all of them)

Al~

#obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me imagines #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #⭐️ requests #🌸 comfort #☂️ demon brothers

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hannah-deactivated20220725 · 4 years ago

Text

2020 End of Year Friendship Post

Alright, you guys know that I love to make gushing posts about people I’ve grown fond of.

Well, I’ve decided to make a big one for the end of the year. Celebrate the friendships I’ve created and/or maintained in the last year. This is obviously not EVERYBODY as I have shit memory and some of my friends have left the site (T_T) but this list will be a bit long, so I’m gonna post everything under a cut so that it doesn’t bother people having to scroll past it. (: to the people not mentioned in this but that follow me: thank you so much for supporting me & my writing adventure. I know that my blog has been through ups and downs, has changed immensely in the course of the past year, but I hope that you guys still enjoy and do not regret following it.

If you do, feel free to unfollow. I understand that some of you probably followed me for my games or events, which I no longer post here. If you do follow for my games, don’t forget I have a blog centered around writer games now!! You can find it at mywritinggames. You don’t have to follow this blog if you just followed for games. You can follow that blog. I won’t be offended. <3

Alright, enough of that. Let’s get into some lovey-dovey mushy-gushy words of adoration for all a lot of my friends!

PS here’s a list of everyone I tagged on here with comments and the paragraph number in case you want to skip straight to your mush comments:

1. Toby 2. Franka 3. Szandra 4. Raev 5. Jade 6. Lynxxie 7. Ravage 8. Andy 9. Pax 10. Keena 11. Ariadne 12. Ellie 13. Katie 14. Etta 15. Jake 16. Aurelien 17. LJ 18. Fatal 19. Avery 20. Amanda 21. Ari 22. Galaxy 23. Elizabeth 24. Dawny 25. Cat 26. Kry 27. Eris 28. Vermont 29. Erin 30. Piya

The final paragraph is a general comment to everyone, so please make sure to read the final paragraph as well! Thank you all for existing, for staying alive through a rough year, for being here for me and for being my friends. You are all amazing and deserve everything, all the energy love and positivity you put into the world. <3 I love you guys!

1. @lordkingsmith - I’ve already beaten this dead horse, but you are SO INCREDIBLE and I have no idea what my entire mentality would be if not for you. You’ve saved me from giving up on my dreams multiple times by your positivity and always knowing how to help me!! Any time something happens, you’re right there with a solution and it’s mind boggling. You’re literally the only person that can be like “here, help yourself this way” and I won’t get upset about it because I trust you in a way I trust SO few people. You are my little brother and I am so, so happy Jason Zephyr and a stupid tomato guessing game brought us together ;)

2. @franky-ts - girl... you’ll always be my twinny. Always, always. I can’t imagine life without you in it. Even through me deleting my blogs what, 3-4 times now since we met? I always come back to you. You are always the top 2-3 people I search for when I come back because you are my twinny and if I don’t get to have a tumblr experience without you, I don’t want it! <3 I love everything about you and I’m so glad to know you. I’m so grateful to have friends like you that always reach out to me and try to cheer me up when I’m feeling down. I always want to share my ups and downs with you. If not for the damned timezone difference, I probably would. Love you, sis.

3. @catharticallysarcastic - probably my favorite person I rarely speak to ;) A friendship started with writer games and the beauty of her name (Szandra for those that don’t know)... you are a remarkable and beautiful person and you deserve the world and all of your dreams with it. I wish this world was perfect so you could live in a perfect world because you, my friend, are great. And sweet. And amazing! Thank you for being a good friend to me.

4. @raevenlywrites - I know we don’t talk much anymore. I don’t really bombard you with asks like I used to, but I do still cherish you, not only as a writer, but as a person. You have a beautiful heart and are such a caring individual. You will go out of your way for other people and this world needs MORE PEOPLE like that! You are incredible and I hope you reach the absolute apex of what you think life should be. That is my 2020 wish for you. <3

5. @jade-island-lives - Jade.... Jade, Jade. Another great friend that’s been here through my ups and downs of a couple of different blogs I’ve ended up remaking. Jeez, it’s been so long I can’t even remember how we met. But I’m so, so glad we did. You are beautiful. You are so caring and kind. Your writing is amazing and your characters are just... *chef kiss* But this isn’t about your writing, as amazing as it is. This is about you. This is about how amazing YOU, as a person, are. This is about how much I love and appreciate you as a person. This is about how much I am grateful to have friends like you in my life. This about how you’ve been here for me through so much and how I can’t imagine if I’d never met you. Even though we rarely talk like we used to, I still cherish you like we talk every freaking day. Life gets busy, especially as adults. Shit happens, life gets hard. But through everything, just know I love you and am always, no matter what, here for you. <3

6. @wyldlynxx - Lynxxieeee ~ my little Nane fangirl xDDDD you are amazing. You don’t give yourself near enough credit for how awesome you are. You make me laugh and so happy to be alive. We don’t chat like we used to, which... to be fair there are very few that I do still talk to regularly. But I still love you and our friendship. I wouldn’t trade it - for you - for anything. (: I hope one day we can catch up again and start chatting more again because our chats always, always put a smile on my face.

7. @mrs-raven-writes - Ravage! My savage little Ravage!! My buddy! Hey! Hi! You are awesome. Our conversations are so unique every time. We don’t just have the typical ‘hi how are you’ talks. I mean yes, sometimes we do if it’s been a while since we chatted, but for the most part, we’ve had all different kinds of talks. My favorite is when you randomly approached me saying you almost threw down with someone because of a game. xD And finding out that even through your absence you still keep track of me? T_T I was so flattered and still am. You are amazing and you also do not give yourself near enough credit for how amazing you are. I am so glad to know you and I hope that 2021 treats you better than 2020 did because I’d love more than anything for you to message me telling me how incredible you feel and how much life has improved. I freaking love you, girl, and I want nothing but happiness and love for you. (:

8. @violetcancerian - Andyyyyyyyy~ hi!!! omg what to say... I’m not even sure how to say what I want to say. xD A friendship forged by mutual love of King Arthur fiction... turned into what it is now. Even though we rarely ever talk anymore, I still feel so close to you... and I hope that you know that you’re still a very special friend to me. ^_^ you are so sweet and so ENTHUSIASTIC! You spread so much love to others and it just makes me smile! It makes me so happy to see you on my dash, not just for the fics, but for YOU. You, as a person, are worth so much, and I hope you get everything you ever wanted because I want nothing but the best for you, my friend! Happy new year and thank you so much for being my friend. <3

9. @magic-is-something-we-create - Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaxy!! One of my most enthusiastic friends! I always know that I can just chat your ear off about the things that have me excited because you just get so excited with me! You’re like my “pump me up” buddy because your excitement then causes me to get more excited! Instead of mocking my hyperfixations, you get enthralled with me, and I LOVE that!!! You are so encouraging and so increidbly sweet and thoughtful. You always put a smile on my face and even when it’s been weeks since we’ve chatted, our conversations are never stale. I always know if I message you, we’re about to have a fun, exciting conversation. I never get bored of our chats or of you because you’re just so FUN and put such a big smile on my face!!! I love the friendship we’ve built and I really, honestly hope it never ends because you’re amazing. <3

10. @keen2meecha - hey, buddy! We haven’t really chatted in a while but I wanted to include you because we used to chat a lot more. And it was so fun getting to know you and sharing my passions with you. I really hope that we get into touch more in 2021 because I never want to lose that bond we shared back when we chatted more! I enjoy so much talking with you and getting to know your works and sharing mine with you! I hope you have an phenomenal 2021, my friend.

11. @confundere - another buddy that I always look for when I restart my blog (which has happened an embarrassing amount of times). Ariadne is a passionate person with so much to offer this world and I cannot imagine ever restarting my blogs without contacting her. You are someone I think of frequently, even if we don’t chat as much as we used to, and I’m so glad to have met you. (: thank you for being such a great friend to me, and for being so supportive of me. I hope you have a terrific 2021. Happy new year, friend!

12. @howdy-writes - Ellieeee~ we have had many fun chats via our posts and I have massively enjoyed going from “oh what a cute blog” to “wow this girl is amazing!” I have enjoyed from going “aw how cute, she likes lesbian cowgirls” to “this girl IS a lesbian cowgirl!” You have so many incredible layers that are so fun to figure out and you are such a joy to get to know! I’m so glad I got the courage to reach out to you and talk to you because you are one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met on this site. You always have nothing but sweet things to say and I just.... I look up to you so much. Your kindness, your positivity, your love. You, all-in-all, are a role model I wish I’d grown up watching. I hope that all the youngesters following you realize that you are someone to look up to. ^_^

13. @abalonetea - you... oh, Katie, you. It still makes me laugh how long it took me to stop calling you Emily in my head xDDD you’re incredibly talented. But beyond that, you’re a great friend. Always supporting others. Always willing to be there for others. You’re a great person and deserve as much love and support, if not more, as you give. You are so kindhearted and just all around, the best kind of friend to have. Thank you for being one of mine. <3

14. @ettawritesnstudies - one of my newer friends from this year! It was so fun collabing on a positivity event with you! My hope is we can do something like that again because you were a joy to work with. ^_^ you are so kind though. So kind and so thoughtful and supportive. You are exactly the kind of friend I want in my real life. You are the kind of person I could see myself really opening up to and texting every day if I knew you irl. People like you are what make this world worth living in and people like you are what make the world a nicer, better place. I’m so grateful to know you and that you decided to join tumblr. Thank you for everything this year and I look forward to another year of friendship!

15. @homesteadchronicles - Jaaake!! Omg we don’t chat like we did when I was first recommended your blog, but I still cherish every conversation. I cherish every hi and am always sad when we have to part ways. I think about you frequently, even if we don’t always talk. I’m always wondering how you are, how your writing’s going, how your year’s going. You have been a joy to get to know and I really hope one day we can start chatting more again because our conversations always leave me with a smile on my face by the end, and I simply cannot say that about just anybody. Happy new year, friend, and I hope you have a terrific 2021.

16. @copperplatescript - Aurelien!!! I’ve probably said it before but I LOVE your name. It’s so unique compared to names I’ve heard in the past. But beyond that, there’s an amazing person attached to the name!! I love sharing things with you because interesting conversation always follows. You are so fun to chat with and you have so much interesting stuff to share! Your fascinations are so fascinating and it’s so much fun watching the progression of your projects!! I miss our chats but I know 2020 has been a hectic year for most. I just hope 2021 brings more fun and fascinating conversation and brings us closer as friends ^_^ thank you for several months of a wonderful friendship. (:

17. @ljscrawls - sheesh, I can’t believe it took me this long to get to LJ!!!! My buddy ol’ pal. Talented, sweet, fun, funny!!! Pretty much all the best traits in one amazing person. You always bring a smile to my face and leave me feeling so freaking special. There are very few that can make me laugh, cry, flattered and just so happy in one single conversation. You bring so much joy and love in my life and I just can’t imagine ever losing your friendship. And I hope I never have to because I don’t want to be without you in my life. ^_^ thank you for being such a great friend. I love ya!!

18. @fatal-blow - I know we’re not like SUPER close or anything. But I wanted to let you know that you are amazing. Not just because your talent is beyond anything I have the words to voice but... you are such a fun, passionate person to speak with and it’s fun watching you talk about things you love, especially your characters. The way that you make your characters feel so familiar when you talk about them, like you’re talking about an old friend. It’s simply inspiring. I’m so glad I found your blog and started commenting on your posts because the conversations that have ensued due to it have been so memorable. I’ll never forget you, even long after I stop being on tumblr, whenever that happens. Thank you for everything.

19. @just-a-little-bit-of-sugar - girrrrl. You’re someone that I really miss. You are so sweet, just like your name implies, and such an uplifting person to talk about. You’re so positive, and you know. I do really cherish that about you but that isn’t what makes you so special to me. Everyone has down days and I don’t ever want to make you feel like I’ll appreciate you any less for having them, like your positivity is the only thing that makes you worth friendship. Good or bad days, you are a great friend and I want to be here to celebrate the good and help you through the bad! You’ve been a great friend to me over the last year and I only hope you can say the same to me. <3 hope you’re doing well.

20. @amandahoyle - god, our friendship started with a mutual love of DARK writing. Started with my writing of Death Has a Face and other dark stories centered around death and your series I’m reading with DEFINITE darkness in it.... but it evolved into this beautiful thing it is now, that I wouldn’t trade for the world. You are a remarkable friend, always having nothing but nice words for me and I so appreciate how you lift me up during hard times. You’re always here for me and willing to help bring me out of my own personal darkness. And I love and appreciate that so much about you. You are a phenomenal friend and I just don’t want to imagine ever losing your friendship. Thank you for being so kind and so patient with me over the last several months. I’m so grateful to have you in my life, even if just virtually.

21. @leafgreen6 - Ariiiii!!!!!!! One of my earlier friends! I met you through Galaxy and our friendship kind of blossomed. The three of us together create quite a dynamic trio even if we don’t chat together like we used to. You are amazing. I hope you realize how incredible you are. You’re so beautiful, inside and out, and you are so caring toward your friends. You love and support those around you and have such a beautiful heart. You are talented af and a total badass. <3 I wouldn’t change a single thing about you. Thank you. Thank you.

22. @books-of-lunacy - Jesus! Girl, we literally never talk anymore! I hope you’re well. I miss you. We forged a great friendship that I will never, ever forget, even if it fades away. Because you’ve been amazing over the months and I’m so glad to have met you virtually. I used to imagine if we met in person many times xD and I think you’d be a fun person to like go on adventures with at midnight, when the world around us is asleep. (: I’m glad to know you and I hope that 2021 brings you joys that 2020 tried to take away. Miss you and again, I hope you’re well. Thank you for being a friend.

23. @incandescent-creativity - we used to chat sooo much when I discovered your blog, when I originally created this blog! You were one of the first people I sought out when I recreated it because you inspire me SO MUCH. Your passion for your writing and characters... your kindness when answering questions... your silliness and just overall personality and attitude, it all inspires me. Every. Damn. Day. I know I haven’t done my “ask spree” stuff I used to do frequently, which got you accustomed to my url (and was also the reason you apparently actually noticed my disappearance when I deleted my original blog) but just know that I think about you frequently. Not just as a writer and creator, but as a person. As an amazing, inspiring person that I strive to be more and more like. You are incredible. Thank you for showing the world who you are.

24. @dawnsplaceyt - I know you’ve been busy lately and life has gotten hectic but I just wanted to let you know I still think of you frequently and am grateful for the friendship we’ve built over the last year. You are such a warm person with so much passion and love and I’m so glad to have been one of the people that got to witness that. I am so thrilled that your relationship took the next step and I can’t wait to see you start the next chapter of your life. <3 I hope you’re doing well and that the end of 2020 and all of 2021 treat you well. Love ya girl.

25. @missionkitty - Jesus. I can’t believe you’re all the way down at 25. But either way, here we are. One of my favorite people that I met through the odds of an otome game we share a passion for. Your art is breathtaking. I love your style and you as a person are just as breathtaking. You are so free and passionate!! You have so much love for the things you care about and that is so admirable. I look up to you so much, especially as an artist! I strive to be more like you one day. <3 thank you for being so amazing! I look forward to another year of friendship.

26. @kryskakikomi - okay, we know each other more through games and events than we do through actual chats, but I’ve always WANTED to talk to you... and build a friendship? One of my goals for 2021 is to do more outreach toward people I have wanted to talk to but never quite got the nerve to reach out to and you’re one of the top on the list!! I’m thrilled we’ve had interactions at all but I’d be so happy if we could have more in the coming year! Hope your year goes well. (:

27. @leave-her-a-tome - uh, you’re awesome. Enough said, next! No, just kidding. xD but I wasn’t kidding when I said you’re awesome. Even just seeing you on my dash gives me a thrill. You have so much talent, yet are so humble about it and are so happy to support others. It’s quite inspiring to see someone that is so incredible be so down to earth and not full of themself. You are so fun to chat with too! Our chats are usually short but they still bring me such joy. To know that someone as amazing as you LIKES to chat with me? Humbling. And thrilling at the same time! I will never, ever forget you or the time we’ve spent talking and working together!! Thank you for everything and for the support and I hope you have a great 2021!

28. @vermontwrites - okay, I know we haven’t spoken much since the Prompt Pals days but I really enjoy your presence - both on my dash and my DMs. You have been through so much yet hold strong. Yes, I know some days are really hard for you but your strength and resilience are inspirational. I hope you know you’re not alone and that I’m here if you need someone to lean on, if you need someone to vent to. You aren’t alone. You don’t have to push through everything alone. You have friends that care and that want to be here for you. You are incredible and deserve love and friendship. I hope you recognize that. Thank you for sticking around and for being you. I hope 2021 goes better for you, my friend.

29. @rhikasa - okay. I know, we mostly communicate via games, but you have been such a positive force on my dash and notes in the last year. I know we don’t chat much but I do still appreciate you and want you to know that. I don’t know like if you think about me beyond the games, but I certainly do think about you and am always hoping you’re having a great day/night. You’re awesome and creative and kindhearted and I’m so appreciative to have you as a mutual. <3

30. @piyawrites - Piya!!! We haven’t really communicated in a long time but I still cherish the times we did chat. We have had so many good conversations with giggles and enthusiasm and support and I love your energy! You’re such a positive force and such a great person to know and chat with and I’m so so grateful for that. You’re wonderful and I hope you recognize the light that you shine on others lives because you do. And you deserve that same level of loving energy that you bring to others. Thank you for being a part of my online world.

Thank you everyone that is listed on this. You are are all so freaking wonderful and each and every one of you hs made a difference in my life. You all have played a big part in why I have stayed on this site and I cherish each and every one of you for all kinds of reasons. I hope you all know how loved and appreciated you are and I wish you all a very happy New Year. May 2021 show many improvements upon the last year <3

#mushy post #love #love for my friends #end of year appreciation post #my friends #lovey dovey post #30 tags of love #friendos #friendo love

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izcana · 4 years ago

Text

“Darling, I’m Home!”

Disclaimer: I do not Teen Wolf. That credit goes to Jeff Davis. The only thing I own is the plot line. Enjoy! If I'm being honest here I might as well mention that I've never watched a single episode of Teen Wolf (:p) but I've read plenty of fanfiction about it and I did some research on fandom about the plot – hopefully, it's enough! It's canon-divergent anyway so I don't think it'd be that big of a deal but if anything (vital)'s wrong, please tell me so I can fix it straight away!

***

"When are you going to tell them you're married?" Laura asked after dodging yet another crowd of fans. "You can't go on like this forever, you know." Laura was probably right. She's always right. Yet Derek couldn't do it. Separating his personal life from his acting career was the best solution and he was standing by this. Derek felt bad for Stiles, his lovely mate, at home all alone and caring for the precious pups in his stomach. Despite all this...

"I can't, Lo," Derek mumbled, opening the door to the Camaro.

"Why not, Derek?" She demanded, pulling the door angrily, though not with her full force, of course. Being an Alpha wolf meant that she could have ripped the door off its hinges. "Cora announced her marriage to Scott a couple of months ago and she's doing just fine. Plus, if you tell them you're mated, the fans will leave you alone. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"It is, okay, Laura?" Derek glared at the window, pouting at nothing. He hit the horn, though it felt more like a tap to his Alpha senses. "Cora's...different."

"For your information, Der, she's also a very sought after actress. And don't go on saying how you're more popular than she is."

"I wasn't going to," Derek replied simply, rolling his eyes.

Laura flipped her hand dismissively and glared into her phone. Derek scowled at the car in front of him and beeped his horn.

"At least talk to Stiles about this, Derek," Laura implored, her eyes softening at the mention of the said Omega. There was practically no one in the Hale family who disliked Stiles; Talia dubbed him the most adorable little boy and though he wasn't the "ideal" Omega, no one (who mattered, at least) cared and loved Stiles all the same. Derek felt a wave of shame run over him once he remembered how much he's been neglecting the pregnant little were-fox. "He'll probably want you to stay with him. He's pregnant, Derek! Start thinking a little about your mate, shall we?"

"I am, Laura," Derek denied, though he agreed that he really ought to pay more attention to Stiles.

"Your heartbeat skipped. You agree with me, so stop lying!" Laura scolded. Derek silently cursed Alpha werewolf hearing.

"Whatever, Laura, I'll think about it." And that was that. End of the conversation.

***

Derek fumbled for the keys of his apartment, having finally shaken Laura off. "Darling, I'm home!" He called into the loft. Blank silence followed.

Derek wasn't too worried about it since he could hear his mate's heartbeat beating peacefully in the background and the peaceful smell of Stiles. Under normal circumstances, Stiles would already be awake since were-fox hearing was very sensitive (Derek could think about a million other things that were sensitive about his mate but that's beside the point) despite the fact that the bedroom was soundproofed. It only worked for were-wolves and were mainly for the benefit of the Hales, who dropped by at some of the most absurd times. However, after the pregnancy was discovered, Stiles had been sleeping a lot more and he seemed tired every day (not that Derek could blame him).

He stepped into the loft quietly, making sure to drop off his shoes next to the door as his mate had apparently cleaned the hallway earlier today, even though Derek had told him time and time again not to tire himself out – it wasn't good for the baby. Stiles refused to listen, though. Stiles was Stiles.

Perhaps, Stiles might actually listen to him when the pups are almost due...

He tip-toed around the enormous leather sofa Talia had insisted they get and into their shared bedroom. He took off his clothes carefully and stealthily walked to the washroom, turning the shower console to low so it wouldn't disturb Stiles, even though Derek was certain he'd wake soon if he hadn't woken already.

By the time Derek wrapped a towel around his waist and crept into his bedroom to get his clothes, Stiles was already awake, his slightly red-rimmed and puffy amber eyes staring sleepily back at Derek, nonetheless alert. "When did you get back?"

"Half an hour ago," Derek murmured gently. Stiles nodded and stretched, showing off the beautiful milky white skin and the swollen stomach that was full of Derek's pups. Derek and Stiles' pups. "Do you want anything to eat?" Derek now knew from experience that Stiles was always hungry and came up with the most peculiar food combinations.

"Yes, please," Stiles answered predictably. "Can you get some gherkins with whipped cream?" That was one of the "favourites".

Derek went to get the said "favourite". When he came back, Stiles was on the phone.

"Huh? Oh, that. Pause. No, no, he hasn't told me. Pause. Who told you? Pause. Oh, typical. Pause. I'll ask him. Pause. I'm wonderful, thanks. Pause. Bye, Cora! Visit whenever you want!"

"What did Cora want?" Derek asked, setting the cup of herbal tea and the plate of gherkins with whipped cream on the table.

"She told me that you and Laura talked about your career," Stiles said, scarfing down the gherkins. "When were you going to tell me?"

Knowing fully well that lying to Stiles was impossible (were-fox hearing and Stiles being Stiles) he admitted "Never."

"That's what I thought. Cora seemed to think so, too."

"Do you want me to?" Derek asked softly.

"Honestly? This is selfish of me, but I do. I wish you'd be around for my pregnancy. By the pace we're going at now, you won't even be there for the birth!" Stiles cries, and to Derek's horror, promptly burst into tears. He clutched at Derek weakly, as if willing for him never to leave again but not having the strength to stop him.

"It's not selfish, Honey, you're allowed to feel what you feel," he murmured softly into Stiles's peach-scented hair.

"But..b-but..." Stiles stuttered.

"But nothing. If that's what you want, Sweetheart, I'll tell my boss tomorrow to put me on paternal leave."

"I don't want to get in the way of your work, Alpha." That's when Derek knew Stiles was completely gone. He only called Derek "Alpha" if he was in heat or upset. "You seem to like acting so much, I didn't want to slow you down," he added pathetically.

"You're my mate, Stiles," Derek said, sighing. "You don't 'slow me down', you inspire me. Where did you get that idea? I love you."

"You're a movie star! Why are you still with me? You can get someone so much better," Stiles moaned sadly, clutching his stomach when the baby started kicking at his kidneys.

"Listen. I love you, only you, never anyone else, okay?" Derek said, staring straight at Stiles, who was avoiding his eyes.

"Okay," Stiles whispered, his eyes shining with tears. One slipped out and Derek wiped it away. "I believe you."

***

Should I keep doing a/b/o stories? Please tell me in the comments – I've been very interested in a/b/o recently but I didn't know whether I was good at writing it? If you want me to, I can definitely continue; practice makes perfect!

There will be a sequel in response to requests on Archive of Our Own.

Epilogue

#teen wolf #sterek #stiles x derek #alpha/beta/omega dynamics #a/b/o #tw #au #two-shot #mpreg #mpreg stiles #stiles stilinski #derek hale #laura hale #cora hale #scott mccall

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halothenthehorns · 4 years ago

Text

GRIM DEFEAT

"Okay," James said, drawing the word far out past its normal syllable count as he glanced carefully between the book and his best friend. "At least now we know Sirius really is at Hogwarts," he finished with a mutter.

"Er, Sirius," Remus said cautiously when the silence just kept dragging on and they just kept staring at him like he would have a completely normal explanation for this. "No offense mate, but I'm honestly wondering if you hadn't really lost your mind on that one."

Sirius was mouthing wordlessly, his eyes so round his friends were wondering if they weren't just going to completely fall out of his head.

"Don't suppose it just has something to do with his low impulse control?" Lily offered weakly. "He finally made his way there and was just that eager to see Harry?"

"If he wanted to get in that badly though, he would have just broken into a home in Hogsmeade and floo'd into the common room," Remus corrected. *

"With a knife?" Harry reminded. Harry couldn't help but shift his weight around uncomfortably as he continued eyeing Sirius. Remus might have meant it as a joke, but Harry really was starting to have this feeling like there was some darker, unknown reason Sirius was trying to get into Gryffindor tower... but what? It had to be because of him, what other motive would he have for going in there? But something just didn't feel right, and as always his mind was unhelpful as ever in giving him a reason why.

The others were trying, their minds spinning in every direction possible for this to seem logical, for any kind of motive that didn't make their skin crawl, but they were all coming up with a blank on this one. At least four of them were, Sirius looked like he'd completely shut down and wasn't going to be processing anything anytime soon.

"If he wanted to get in that badly though, he would have just broken into a home in Hogsmeade and floo'd into the common room," Remus corrected.

James got uneasily to his feet and walked over to pick up the book, checking his chapter before walking back over and smacking Sirius with it.

"Ouch!" Sirius yelped in shock, rubbing at the spot on his arm, and coming out of whatever trance he'd clearly been in. "What was that for?"

"Felt like someone should for that stupid stunt," James said with an air of carelessness, while he was still keeping a very protective eye on his friend, "got any ideas why you did?"

Sirius shook his head miserably from side to side, sighing deeply before saying, "I don't know, maybe Lily's got something in saying I was just really impatient to see Harry, and I had the knife for protection? I've obviously not got my wand anymore."

"See, I don't know about that," Remus argued back with a frown in place. "It would have been much easier to set up something with me, then we could both talk to Harry at the same time. Even you're not so mad as to think this was a good idea Padfoot."

"Maybe now I'm not," Sirius grumbled, eyeing the ceiling carefully and not looking at anyone.

James and Remus exchanged heartbroken looks, while to be perfectly honest Lily couldn't really come up with a way to argue that point.

Then James grit his teeth in frustration, and made to swing at Sirius again. This time he was paying attention enough to duck, then glared daggers at his best friend. "Why do you keep trying to hit me?"

"Because you're being an idiot," James snapped, and Sirius felt like leaning back at the fiery glare he was now receiving. "I don't want anyone to ever say that again, least of all you. I'm positive you must have a reason for this, and you will get your chance to talk to Harry by the end of the year and explain it." With that he turned to his chapter and began reading; not leaving any room for argument. Remus looked happy that the subject was being changed, agreeing with James all the way, but Harry and Lily exchanged uneasy looks.

Lily couldn't help but wonder if her husband wasn't in denial about this matter. Something wasn't adding up with this, and though neither of them had an idea of what, they were both thinking it might have a little more to do with something other than Harry. Lily just couldn't help but think that, unless Azkaban really had driven Sirius mad, what other explanation could it be?

Dumbledore personally escorted the whole of the house back down to the Great Hall, and moments later the other houses arrived as well in a swell of confusion. Dumbledore instructed all of them that it was safer to be kept in here for the night,

"Interesting little slumber party," Remus muttered, still keeping a worried eye on Sirius. James' words hadn't seemed to be much comfort to him, and he was still rubbing absentmindedly on where he had now been whacked twice, and looked as if he was only half paying attention.

and to remain as quiet as possible, while the Head Boy and Girl were in charge. Percy couldn't help but swell with power as he glanced around the room at that news.

"Course he was," Harry rolled his eyes, now continuously throwing worried glances over at Sirius, they had all noticed he didn't seem to have as much confidence as James did.

Then Dumbledore summoned enough sleeping bags for all of them,

"Glad he remembers the little things," Lily chuckled without any real humor.

"Where did they all come from?" Harry yelped in shock, his mind boggling at the idea of summoning so many things at once.

"I'm fairly confident they keep a private store of those somewhere in the castle," Remus explained, "for emergencies like this."

Harry still found this a pretty big feat, but didn't say anymore.

and left. Percy jumped in at once, telling them all to get to sleep, he was turning the lights out in a minute.

"He is such a killjoy," James smirked, trying his very best to put a sense of normalcy back into his tone that no one actually bought.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione grabbed up their own bags and pulled them into a corner so they could talk in peace, while Hermione asked if Black was still in the castle.

"Absolutely not," Remus said at once, punctuating that with a roll of his eyes to show how ridiculous he thought that was.

Ron pointed out Dumbledore thought so, and Hermione whispered it was good fortune he'd picked tonight to pull that stunt,

James suddenly brightened all the more, a real smile coming across his face as he began laughing.

"I don't see why that's funny," Lily scowled at him, wondering if James wasn't joining Sirius in a spot of madness now.

"I was just thinking that Hermione might be wrong on that one," James disagreed, "and that Sirius was trying to get a bit of irony owed to him on this particular night. All that rubbish-" no one needed to ask why he couldn't actually say the words 'we died' and had instead deflected to that, "on Halloween, so Sirius wanted to make an impression."

Lily's eyes might have brightened with understanding, but she didn't look any more convinced.

Remus was shaking his head from side to side, not looking any more convinced but a little more indulgent as he replied, "think that's giving him a little too much credit mate. Can't imagine Sirius thinking in that kind of poeticness."

"Hello, I am sitting right here," Sirius sniffed, allowing a genuine smile to appear as he was easily able to focus on this simple thing, his friends picking on him. The others were relieved to see him get some sense of normalcy back about him, which made James feel all the worse when he realized no one was going to comment further and he had to simply turn right back to this.

the holiday where everyone was out of Gryffindor common room.

"Perfect time to try and sneak in and wait out for Harry to be alone," Remus reminded Sirius quietly. Sure that plan had some major holes, like he obviously hadn't snooped out and found the password for one; but Sirius could turn into a dog and hide under the bed for just this opportunity. No it wasn't ideal, it would make more sense for him and Sirius to work out something far better...but perhaps Sirius had grown impatient and gone ahead without him? It wouldn't be the first time Sirius had disregarded his advice on something because he was so impatient, though he would have liked to think on something like this he could have gotten through his friends thick skull... Remus sighed when he realized he just kept creating more questions rather than a solution.

Ron pointed out the man was on the run, he probably wasn't keeping track of the days of the week, otherwise he'd have just come right into the hall.

Sirius grumbled something about he still didn't think he was that deranged, but quietly enough he didn't think either of his friends really understood what he meant.

Then Hermione whispered, how did he get in?

"That's something I am still genuinely curious about," Lily said briskly, trying to keep her suspicions about Sirius' mind state out of her voice. She wasn't sure how good a job she did, since James kind of gave her a dirty look anyways, but Sirius distracted them by saying, "I've still got no idea. I really have been thinking about that, and all I can come up with is that I must learn something new within the next year."

"That isn't public knowledge, and that Dumbledore doesn't know and has proofed against, and the rest of the wizarding world hasn't figured out?" Remus asked in disbelief.

They were all genuinely puzzled, only one thing coming to mind in that Sirius was an animagus. That qualified under all of those questions, but what did that have to do with getting past dementors? Sirius did know all of the secret entrances in and out of the school, so if he did waltz right past the guards as a dog and use one of those, was it doable? That didn't answer one of their original questions, of why he hadn't simply done this moments after he'd been taken to Azkaban, why wait all this time? Of course, as far as any of them knew, this hadn't ever been studied; did dementors have an effect on animals? Was it the same basic principle as werewolf bites didn't affect an animal, just humans?

Harry was nearly bouncing in his seat when James voiced all of this, which meant they must be on the right track, he didn't normally show this much excitement when they weren't. By the time they had circled through every bit of possibilities on this subject, they were all practically beaming at having figured out something even this minor. It certainly made them all feel better than the other tons of questions they had about the situation that just kept getting worse.

Others all around the hall were asking this very question, one Ravenclaw kid suggested he might know how to apparate onto the grounds.

"Of course I do, most any adult wizard does," Sirius rolled his eyes. Even finding out something as minor as how he had gotten himself past the dementors finally seemed to have lifted Sirius' mood tenfold, bringing back his more boisterous and rather pompous nature.

He looked to be in such a good mood again, no one bothered to point out to him he most likely didn't have a wand, and the obvious part where he can't apparate inside the actual school; since Sirius knew both of these anyways and was just answering the rhetorical question.

A Hufflepuff postured that Black had disguised himself.

"Actually not that far off," James smirked, now feeling like rubbing it in Lily's face that they most likely hadn't registered and this was how Sirius was getting around. After all, if they had, then surely they would have put out an alert on Sirius' dog form as well as his human picture.

Lily properly acknowledged his smug tone by sticking her tongue at him, having come to much the same conclusions.

While Dean offered that he could have flown in.

"And we've already explained why that wouldn't work," Remus shrugged, "not only that, but dementors could sense him even if I did invite him on the premises, so that wouldn't work all the more."

Hermione scoffed at all of these, asking if she was the only one to have read Hogwarts, A History?

"Only one who's memorized it," James smirked.

Ron told her she was, and Hermione explained why each of those wouldn't work, and she'd love to see the disguise that fooled dementors.

"Well I very much hope it impresses you," Sirius smirked.

Reminding them they were at every entrance, and Filch knew all of the secret passages into the school.

"I doubt he actually knows all of them," James scoffed, "otherwise they'd be boarded up and blocked off from all students."

Lily couldn't help but wonder if perhaps they were. Harry certainly hadn't found any out of the school, but perhaps her son wasn't the best way to argue that point. The one thing she could say for her son was that he really didn't go out of his way to find trouble like that, unlike his father on that one.

Then Percy called that it was time they all get to bed, not to talk anymore.

"Please," Remus scoffed, "as if anyone could sleep with this kind of news going around." If he didn't think it would inflate his friends ego another few degrees, he might have even pointed out just how much of an accomplishment this really was, sneaking into Hogwarts in this manner. Side effects and actual reasons for him doing this aside.

The lights did go out, and then the most dominant noise was the ghosts flitting in having serious conversations with the prefects.

"Not as Siriusly as I could have," Sirius said quickly, taking the absent minded nudge he received from James with a happy grin this time. He was going to soak in this pleasurable mood for as long as he could, knowing by now he shouldn't count on it to last long this time.

Between that and the ceiling above that mimicked the stars outside, Harry found himself wondering if this was what camping was like.

"That sounds like fun honestly," Lily grinned, "I think we really should go camping some time."

"I'll keep that in mind," James acknowledged.

Harry looked horrified at the thought. He had no idea why his mother's innocent suggestion would give him a whomping smack, his first instinct to say he wanted nothing of the sort, but something about him, Hermione, Ron, and the word camping wasn't being taken lightly inside of him. He didn't say any of this though, because as always it came with that nuisance of a feeling that it came with memories he had no business prying into so early.

Teachers periodically poked their head in to check on them, and by the time most of the students had nodded off, Dumbledore himself came.

Despite the confidence James had that Sirius really wouldn't have stuck around and gotten back out of there, he also couldn't help the slight relief he felt at the headmaster's reappearance. Surely if Sirius had been caught, Dumbledore wouldn't have come back, but would be tied up for hours dealing with the ministry and what have you because of it.

Harry feigned sleep as the headmaster approached Percy, who was nearby telling off some kids for talking.

"I think he just needs to keep his girlfriend at his hip, see that 'lighter side of him' we still haven't seen," Remus muttered into Sirius' ear, making Sirius begin snickering again.

Ron and Hermione quickly pretended to be nodding off as well when Dumbledore approached.

"Convenient," Lily rolled her eyes, though to be honest this time she really thought that might have just been a lucky break. Of all the students scattered in the great hall, there was no way they could have possibly noticed those three in particular when they were talking. Even then, it wasn't out of the realm of possibilities that Percy would be cycling near his brother.

Percy asked if Black had been caught, and Dumbledore said no.

This time the other four couldn't help but joining James in the relief at this confirmation Sirius really hadn't been recaptured.

Then he said he'd found another painting to be put in front of the Gryffindor tower.

Sirius grimaced and pushed his hand through his hair in frustration, truly bothered he had clearly hurt the Fat Lady's painting so much it couldn't just be mended quickly, but James distracted him easily enough by asking, "Wonder who they got to do the job?"

There were several memorable portraits some of them suggested, Harry's favorite being Remus who offered they might have even used one of the old Headmaster's ones from Dumbledore's office, but then James really did have to keep reading to get his answer.

Percy asked about the Fat Lady, and Dumbledore explained she was hiding out, still afraid because she'd denied Black entrance when he didn't know the password and he'd lashed out.

Sirius couldn't help but bite at his lip, torn between anger at himself for this act, and confusion as to why he seemed so desperate to get in as really; seeing Harry shouldn't have caused this much of a forceful reaction. Yes, he'd be going crazy wanting to see his Godson, but then he grimaced at his mind's choice of words as he was once again very forcefully questioning himself if he truly had gone...well crazy.

Remus and James weren't having it, refusing to let him dwell on this, so Remus offered him back the baby who Sirius took happily, and James made the comment, "I think she owes you a thanks to be honest. How often does she get to travel the castle like this?"

Harry released a surprised snort of laughter at that, only Lily still look perturbed as her thoughts had been paralleling Sirius' and she didn't seem able to shake it off quite as easily. While no she didn't really think he'd do Harry harm, it still was distressing to even consider what had become of Sirius, and not thinking about it wasn't going to make it any easier if she happened to be right. Then she sighed as she focused back in on James, also recognizing dwelling on it wasn't going to make the problem better either.

Then more footsteps announced the arrival of Snape.

"Oh great, just bloody perfect, I really wanted him to come around and get his opinion on the matter. Would have kept me dwelling all day if we didn't hear his stupid-" Sirius cut himself off by blowing a loud raspberry in baby Harry's face, causing great peals of laughter from all of them at that sudden random act.

Dumbledore asked for his report, and Snape said that the whole of the castle had been searched with no trace, and Dumbledore agreed he hadn't really expected Black to stick around.

"See, even Dumbledore still has that kind of faith in you," James smirked.

Then Snape asked if Dumbledore had an idea how Black got in, and Dumbledore admitted he had several, though none of them fit.

"Would honestly kind of like to hear that," Remus chuckled.

Sirius didn't seem to find that quite so funny, having come to the sudden realization that even Dumbledore probably thought he'd committed that terrible crime, and finding it quite depressing his old headmaster thought that of him. McGonagall would as well, Merlin anyone he once knew would think the worst of him now... except Remus of course. He sighed, refusing to allow his mind to linger on this depressing realization, taking a comfort in that one small fact his friend still would have stood by him, no matter how little influence he could have offered because of his status.

Harry cracked an eye open to see Snape, his profile making it clear how angry he was.

"He would be upset you obviously got the better of everyone in that castle," James cackled.

Snape then tried to remind Dumbledore of a warning he'd given before, now trying to put himself between Percy and Dumbledore, clearly trying to butt him out of the conversation.

"Well then you should have had this out of earshot, like oh I don't know, in one of your offices," Lily rolled her eyes.

Dumbledore agreed with a sharp tone, a clear warning not to keep going.

"Hope he does, as I'd really like to hear this," Sirius said honestly, taking any pleasure in this old bat getting told off.

Snape didn't take that warning, continuing that Black may have gotten help from the school, Snape hadn't been very pleased with the newest appointment,

"I see what he's on about," James rolled his eyes.

"While he's most likely not wrong-" Remus shrugged, but Sirius finished for him, "like I need anyone's help."

Dumbledore cut him off that he did not think for one second a teacher would help Black.

"Huh," the others muttered, Dumbledore phrasing it this way actually managed to spring a few questions to mind. Was Dumbledore implying he didn't think Remus would help him, in which case Remus would have had to lie and fool the headmaster about this; or did Dumbledore possibly know something? That Sirius was innocent every person in this room still believed, could it be possible Dumbledore still believed it too, and hadn't been able to do anything about it during the trial, and was now trying to possibly help out Sirius himself.

Harry in particular didn't really think that, and it also turned his mind into an even darker train of thought, could he be saying that because Dumbledore really thought Remus wouldn't help Sirius? Why though, what could make the headmaster think this? Harry was getting a very sticky feeling deep inside him, that emptiness was rearing its ugly head when his mind was trying to disagree with his gut on this matter.

James couldn't help but hesitate before he kept reading this time, torn between wanting to question this further, and afraid of what answers might crop up. After exchanging a look with Remus, and the silence continued to drag on from the others, he decided to leave that one be for a time.

Then Dumbledore excused himself, saying he had to go and check on the dementors. Percy asked why they hadn't helped search the castle, and Dumbledore stated that so long as he was running this school, no dementor would come through those doors.

"Thank Merlin for that," Lily said in relief. Harry ignored his odd little tick in the brain trying to say that would be a lie someday as well.

Harry looked over to see Ron and Hermione looking just as confused as him.

Sirius couldn't help a surprised snort of laughter, he honestly kept forgetting these kids in the book weren't privy to the knowledge they were half the time. It was more than obvious to them, but of course even Harry wouldn't have known at the time Remus was obviously who they meant. Then that humor dried up slightly, just a tad of resentment taking its place as he remembered all over again Harry really should have known that.

Black was in every conversation for the next several days.

Sirius couldn't help but grimace at that, having always enjoyed attention in his youth, and finding that mirrored back now the worst form of mockery.

Everyone was speculating to no end how he could have pulled off this latest stunt, Hannah suggesting that he turned himself into a bush.

"I threatened to turn you into a dandelion one time," Lily remembered fondly.

That gave them all a soft moment of amusement again, Harry in particular as he asked, "and why was that?"

"I caught him flirting with one of my friends, the day after he'd broken up with another girl," Lily shrugged, "told him to get lost or I'd turn him from a hound dog to a dandelion. Seemed cleverer at the time than it does now."

"I took the threat for what it was though," Sirius shrugged, not looking any kind of abashed at this little retelling, "wouldn't have been the first time Lily'd cursed me for much less."

The Fat Lady had been replaced with Sir Cadogan,

"Wow," Remus chuckled in amusement, "didn't see that one coming."

"This ought to be fun to watch," James agreed mildly.

Harry rolled his eyes, already getting a faint feeling of more agitation then humor, but didn't argue the point.

which didn't please anybody as he randomly changed the password twice a day into the most random things possible.

"Can he do that?" Lily frowned, "thought only McGonagall could do that."

"Probably gave him permission, after my little stunt," Sirius reminded her, with just a touch of bitterness complimenting that.

Seamus could be heard complaining to Percy about it, but Percy pointed out he couldn't do anything about it, as Cadogan had been the only one willing to do the job.

"Brave or suicidal," Sirius piped up again, and when Remus made to smack him again for that dark humor, Sirius quickly reminded, "thought I was allowed to make jokes about that."

Remus sneered at him, still not finding that the least bit funny, but Merlin if it made him feel better who was he to argue?

Harry couldn't care less about this though, as he had his own problem. He was now being followed,

"Oh crap," James groaned, planting his face in the pages for a moment to collect himself at this amount of absurdity all over again. He still found it laughable at best of anyone thinking Sirius could do Harry real harm, but he obviously couldn't convince anyone of that in this future, and it was pointless to grumble on the matter now when Sirius was trying too hard not to let himself stay down on this matter, so he blasted through this part as fast as he could.

by teachers who found any reason to walk with him to his next class, and worst of all Percy, who Harry got the suspicion was acting on orders from his own mother, kept an eye on him like some guard dog.

"Can't deny I adore the description anyway," Sirius huffed to himself.

Remus rolled his eyes, not finding it any more amusing his using the dog jokes then his own name, and dearly wishing he hadn't given up the baby now so that he had more a reason to swing at him.

McGonagall turned out to be worst of all, as she called Harry to her office one day with the demeanour akin to someone dying.

"Only person that could refer to is the Dursleys," Harry offered, trying his own attempt at humor, "then I can't imagine I'd be too sorry."

That did give them all a chance to give a laugh, albeit a dark one as they half wished that were true anyways.

She began to explain that she couldn't hide it from him anymore in a serious tone,

Sirius opened his mouth to say that same joke again, but Remus took the opportunity to poke him in the jaw, smirking as he scolded, "not twice in the same chapter, please save my sanity from that."

Sirius rolled his eyes at him, telling his friend now he was being a killjoy, and James took that distraction to read out the ridiculous sentence

that Black was supposedly after Harry. Harry said he knew this, he'd heard about it over the summer from Mr. Weasley.

"Oh yeah, you could just hear the surprise in Harry," Lily rolled her eyes, wanting to laugh all over again as even she wouldn't have openly admitted to eavesdropping like Harry had done twice now.

While shocked, McGonagall said that he should then understand full well why he was being taken off the Quidditch team.

"She what!" James cried in outrage, now matching the expression that someone had just told him someone had been killed.

"Couldn't they just ask someone to oversee the practice if they're that worried," Remus scowled, knowing he'd personally volunteer in a heartbeat.

"She can't do that," Sirius spluttered in disgust. "What the bloody hell do they think I'm going to do, get onto the pitch and chuck that knife at him?"

"Well, yes it seems," Lily frowned over at him when James and Remus scowled at him for that stupid comment.

Sirius matched her expression, but James refused to let them really start arguing and began reading again swiftly, dearly wishing Harry would do something to make her see sense!

Explaining practices just left him to vulnerable. Harry tried to protests, saying he had a game coming up this weekend, he had to train!

"Well, she isn't actually kicking him off the team," Remus said slowly, frown still in place, but this wasn't as bad as he'd originally thought. "I guess it wouldn't be too bad if you just couldn't practice with the team, but could still play in the games."

"I'd still go crazy," Harry disagreed, "Quidditch was the best stress relief I had, no way do I want that taken away."

McGonagall did consider, and Harry held out hope since he knew his head of house was as much a fan of her team as anyone, so she did bargain that Harry could keep at it so long as Madam Hooch was there at all times.

"Thank you," all the boys breathed in relief. Lily rolled her eyes, she personally wouldn't have felt too bad if Harry hadn't been able to play anymore since the moment he'd started he'd yet to be able to go one game without her heart wanting to leap out of its chest, but she wasn't going to begrudge Harry this getaway either.

While the weather seemed determined to rain on them until they drowned, this had never affected the Gryffindor's practices, now overseen by Madam Hooch.

"Bollocks," Sirius scowled when he realized this was most likely going to be the chapter that held said match.

James gave him a pitying look, but before he could even open his mouth to offer Sirius turned his attention resolutely back to the baby, silently answering before he could offer. Sirius would keep his word, he'd wait until Harry's final year to openly demand his due Quidditch match, but it certainly was frustrating this just kept skipping over him.

James considered for a moment still asking, Sirius might have silently answered but he'd been dealing with so much lately he might have forced him to read it just to put a real smile back in place, but then Remus subtly shook his head and pointed out the now dozing child. If James traded now, baby Harry would fully wake up again, and they may as well give the kid his nap while he could.

The father shrugged and decided to go on. Harry watched all of this with high interest, greatly enjoying the silent conversation that had just taken place, and feeling a depressing realization all over again when he recognized he'd never truly see this in his own time.

It wasn't until the training run before the game that Wood delivered the worst news, that they were going to be playing Hufflepuff instead of Slytherin.

"Those crappy little tarts," James said at once.

"Is Malfoy still faking that injury," Remus rolled his eyes.

"Sadly yes," Harry sighed, that remembered issue making its reappearance. "How come Madam Pomfrey couldn't prove that he wasn't faking this?" He added on, as it was obvious to anyone as far as he was concerned.

James did not look pleased as he worked out, "As it wasn't technically school related, he still had an arm to do his homework and such, I suppose Wood couldn't have gotten this to happen. He had no proof, and so long as Hufflepuff agreed to the switch it wasn't technically forfeiting."

"What's the big difference?" Lily asked curiously, as all the boys were clearly taking a great offense to this. Lily certainly found it sad that these students were still playing up this, but she could tell there was something else about this.

Sirius was more than happy to explain, all the while using a huffy tone at these little jerks, "Every team has a different style of playing. So giving such short notice that the team won't be playing means they've been practicing a completely different regiment then they would have against the other team."

Lily couldn't help but recognize that there clearly was much more thought and skill in this sport then she normally thought, but simply nodded in understanding.

Wood as outraged as anyone at the news as he explained that they'd been able to get away with this because Malfoy's arm was still injured. Of course Wood knew they just didn't want to play in this horrid weather.

"Like it will make a difference when they still play," James spat. "Gryffindor's team will still smoke the field with these backhanded twats."

Harry insisted that Malfoy was faking it, but as they couldn't prove that, they were stuck. Then Wood informed Harry that Hufflepuff's Seeker was named Cedric Diggory.

Harry suddenly released a furious yelp of pain, clasping his hand to his forehead like he'd just been scalded. The others startled at once, looking to him with mounting worry, but Harry was determinedly already putting himself under control, ignoring the painful build up that name had caused and blinking the white spots out of his eyes to glance around and see their fearful looks. He gave them a sheepish smile, but didn't offer an apology this time, knowing by now how that would be received, and instead explained the feeling that had accompanied the flash. "Another name I'm sure I know. It is definitely significant to me," then he paused and cocked his head to the side as he tried to consider and absorb all he could from that already faded feeling without straining himself. He shrugged, recognizing he had nothing else to offer on this.

The rest of them exchanged curious looks, that had hardly explained why Harry felt so strongly about this student, but knew better than to press him for a more direct answer.

The Chaser girls began to giggle.

James rolled his eyes, not understanding that attitude one bit about a rival team, but read curiously.

Wood asked what was so funny, and Angelina happily explained that Diggory was that handsome one, yes?

"Ah," Lily smirked.

"Would recommend against dating someone on a different house team," Remus chuckled, "but to each their own."

Fred snapped back people only thought that because he was too dense to say anything.

"Did I detect a hint of some jealousy in that?" Sirius asked with interest.

"Wouldn't surprise me," James shrugged, not nearly as curious about these boys love life, and far more concerned about what kind of player this Diggory was.

Then Fred continued addressing Oliver, reminding him the last time they'd gone against Hufflepuff, Harry had broken a record for the fastest catch.

"Hope he doesn't let them get too over confident," James noted, quirking a brow in surprise, "letting them get cocky could cost them later."

"Wish someone had told you that sooner," Lily snipped at him, and James gave her an indulgent smile for that.

Wood rounded on him, shouting that was completely different!

"Dang, bit of an overreaction with the shouting," Sirius winced.

"Might I remind you, this is the same boy who said, 'get the snitch or die trying'" Lily rolled her eyes, "I don't think anything's an overreaction to this boy about this game."

"Mum," Harry groaned, "I told you, he didn't really mean that."

Lily shrugged, she still wasn't taking that back.

Wood was still insisting they had to remain sharp, as Diggory was bigger than Harry and his bulk would be an advantage in this weather! They had to win! Fred looked very startled as he began calming his captain.

"Glad I wasn't the only one thinking it," Sirius smirked, though to be honest he did agree with Oliver as well. He would love more than anything to hear about Harry getting the Cup, it would probably make up for any awful feelings he had about this year.

Promising they were taking Hufflepuff seriously.

"Oh come on!" Sirius cried in outrage, receiving two very sharp pokes from both sides of him, making him squirm slightly and nearly waking up the infant. Both boys looked slightly repentant, and Sirius began grumbling if they didn't stop it he was going to move to the fireplace again. James didn't take the threat, well seriously, but he did stop attempting to smother his friend; while he was holding his son anyways.

The weather refused to be on their side, slowly getting worse as time went on, to the pleasure of Malfoy.

"Wish they would just cancel the match, and wait until this little brat stops faking his injury," Lily sighed.

"Not going to happen," James shook his head, "last year was an anomaly, Quidditch isn't usually cancelled for anything, since in the professional leagues Quidditch really isn't cancelled for anything."

He lamented how sad he was he couldn't play because of his injury.

"Someone needs to show that kid a real injury," Sirius scowled.

Harry didn't get much of a chance to think on that, as Wood kept randomly running up to Harry in the corridors and coaching him on maneuvers for the game, and at one point this went on for so long he realized he was late for his DADA class.

"Well then, it's a good thing you have such an understanding professor," James snickered.

Remus rolled his eyes indulgently, privately thinking he would end up defending himself if his future self did give Harry a warning for that, then he went slightly cross-eyed, still finding it just a little weird he was thinking of himself in the future tense at all like this.

Wood was still yelling after Harry as he ran off that Diggory was known for his turning abilities,

"Glad he took the hint," Lily grumbled.

but Harry paid that no mind as he darted into class, already apologizing to his professor for being late, when he caught sight of Snape.

"Say what?" They all frowned, looking genuinely upset and confused at this.

Then Remus blinked in understanding, asking, "don't suppose you know how close to a full moon it was Harry?"

Harry thought about it for a moment before shrugging, admitting he really had no idea as he didn't keep an eye on that type of thing.

James was still frowning as he said, "yes alright, so you wouldn't be feeling too good if that's it, but Snape! No other teacher could have covered for you!"

"I'm fairly sure I didn't get to pick my replacement," Remus offered.

Sirius was just a little too distracted to put his opinion on this, thinking back to that potion and what he'd thought it was. If Remus was still this sick around the full moon, had they been wrong, and this had nothing to do with his lycanthropy? He was still frowning, very unhappy that he might have been wrong on that guess, but also at least a bit happy he'd never voiced this theory, since they would have been wrong and it would have given false hopes to Remus.

Harry was still scowling though, grumbling that, "of all our rotten luck. We'd heard rumors a few times by now that Remus had missed some of his classes because he was sick all the time, but the twins got Sprout for a cover."

They all agreed it was a real misfortune the schedule had worked out like that, but Remus had been right, it wasn't like it had been planned.

Snape wasn't pleased, telling Harry he'd lost ten points for his house for being so late and told him to take his seat.

Remus frowned, since he knew Harry wasn't always late he found that a far harsher punishment then it was called for, but this was Snape, so there wasn't any point in saying this.

Harry didn't, instead asking where their normal teacher was.

"I'm touched," Remus smiled indulgently at Harry, who instantly smiled right back. He didn't need to know the missing link he hadn't then to always know he'd rather have Remus then Snape any day of the year.

Snape smirked as he informed them that he was feeling sick today,

"Sadistic little bastard, finding that funny," Sirius scowled.

Lily gave him a rather ugly look, though mostly for his saying that while holding her son.

then again told him to sit down. Harry asked how sick, and Snape seemed mildly disappointed when he admitted it wasn't going to kill him.

This time James, Sirius, and Harry all said something rather foul for that implied tone, even Lily couldn't help a cheeky response for his being all the more unprofessional in front of the students like that.

Remus was just warmed and slightly amused at their defense of him.

Then he took five more points away from Harry for still not taking his seat, and threatened to do more if his orders weren't followed.

"Maybe if you did more to earn their respect, they'd listen to you," Remus snarked, causing James and Sirius to exchange triumphant smiles, very much wishing Remus would really say something like that to Snape soon.

Harry slunked off to his seat as Snape began talking to the whole of the class, beginning by saying Lupin hadn't left any kind of note about what they'd gone over in this class,

"I doubt that," James scowled, knowing Remus was usually a pretty organized person and would think to do something like this.

"Most likely, you just didn't look for one," Sirius agreed with a growl.

and Hermione raised her hand and began to explain, but Snape told her to be quite, he'd only been pointing out how little Lupin kept up with his work.

"He could have left you a whole damned book worth of notes and you'd still complain," Harry huffed.

Lily gave a disapproving look at her son, clearly thinking these boys were rubbing off on Harry since this was the first time he'd said something like this, but she couldn't disagree either.

Dean shot back that Lupin was the best teacher they'd ever had, while the rest of the class nodded in total agreement.

This time Remus really couldn't help but blush, the combined affection from this class and his family both unexpected and more warming than he would have seen coming.

James and Sirius were unsurprised, James continued in a rather pompous tone of voice as if he'd just received the compliment himself he was so happy for his friend.

Snape was not pleased, looking more menacing than ever.

Sirius rolled his eyes, knowing he'd have to see that to believe it. While he considered Snivellus no one to underestimate during school, he still found it hard to find him 'menacing'.

He scoffed that they were easily pleased, telling how a first year should have been able to deal with the stuff they'd been handling.

"And I might agree with you," Remus frowned, "if they'd had a competent teacher the past two years."

"I was fixing to have heart failure," Sirius told him with a straight face, "watching you agree with him like that."

Remus rolled his eyes indulgently as he explained, "I'll bet that Dumbledore had told me of the past two years, so I haven't been surprised one bit what you've been going over."

He turned to the instructed book, and went to the very last chapter, knowing full well the class hadn't gotten to it yet.

"Typical," James gave a long suffering sigh, before doing a double take at the next sentence.

Which happened to be over werewolves.

"Why that-" Lily then proceeded to call him something that would have made her go red in the face on a normal day. The boys hardly noticed, as their language wasn't much better. What Snape was doing right then was absolutely horrible, and he had no right whatsoever!

Remus went from giddy pleasure he had clearly been handling his dream job like a glove, to shame and fear that he very well might get kicked out of it before the first term was up. If even one student figured it out, mayhem was going to explode inside the castle, owls from parents were going to start arriving...Merlin he might even be arrested. No, surely he was just being paranoid, Dumbledore wouldn't have hired him if it could get that bad... right?

After being the last one to stop his verbal abuse, Sirius finally found some small words of comfort, "look at it this way, students have to learn this every year, and no one figured it out while you were at school. Surely it won't be any different now."

Lily wanted to disagree, saying it was slightly different from a random student to a more prominent teacher, but she refused to be the one to drain what little color had just returned to Remus' face; clearly he'd taken Sirius' comfort to heart.

James was still gritting his teeth so hard he wondered if it was going to crack his skull, Sirius might be right but it didn't excuse this slimeballs actions, but after swallowing a bit of bile forcefully read.

Hermione tried to protest that they were on something else, but Snape snapped at her he didn't need her opinion on it. The class hatefully began flipping to the proper chapter, and Snape began questioning them what were the differences between a werewolf and a normal wolf. Hermione was the only one to raise her hand,

"Guess I'm not too surprised," Remus sighed, not looking nearly as amused as he tried to put into his tone, "Hermione would read ahead and know this."

but Snape ignored this, taunting them that they could come face to face with the monster and not recognize it, Lupin was clearly lacking.

"Yes, because he'd just go out of his way to do that," Sirius growled.

Remus couldn't help but wince, almost happy now that he thought about it, that Snape had decided to take this lesson. Twisted as his reasons were, it was still slightly better than having to do this himself. He chose not to say that aloud though, knowing it wouldn't be received well.

Parvati began to remind Snape that they hadn't studied this yet, and Snape told her to be quite as well, before saying he'd make a mental note to tell the headmaster how far behind this class was.

"Behind?" James scowled. "I'd like to see how many of your students can pass a simple potion, considering how much they all hate you I wouldn't be half surprised if they failed on purpose."

Hermione was still trying to stay on topic, beginning to list the ways she knew the two differed, but then Snape took five points from her for speaking out of turn, and being a know it all.

Harry scowled so badly at the book, he actually made as if to twitch for his wand that time.

"That man has no bounds," Lily yelped in outrage, "he asked a question and then insults her! I can't believe I'm even surprised anymore, after the way he's been treating Neville," she trailed off into foul mutterings, but the other boys didn't have nearly the same restraint. They continued griping about him for a few more minutes until it started getting loud enough the baby started squirming again.

James sighed, but relented they couldn't continue yelling forever, so pressed on.

Ron lost his temper, as Hermione put her hand down and looked near tears he shouted at the teacher that it was Snape's own fault for asking a question he didn't want the answer to. Disregarding the fact that he called his friend a know-it-all once a week.

"And that's why I adore Ron," Lily smiled fondly before Sirius could make a joke about how she'd mimicked him. "Very happy someone said that to him."

James looked for a moment as if he might get up and kiss his wife for that one, having only been a beat away from saying something similar, while the other boys were nodding in fervent agreement.

Snape gave Ron a detention for that, telling him that if he ever spoke about the way he taught again, he'd be the worst kind of sorry.

This thankfully didn't reignite the attitude, though it hardly lessened it. The only reason they weren't doing a bit more than grumbling was because they could hardly argue that point, though they each found it personally loathsome at the implied threat he'd just made to a student.

Then Snape set them to work on taking notes, while going over previous assignments they'd had. He was critiquing that one had been graded wrong, kappa's weren't from Mongolia,

"What, did the student simply say East Asia and that just wasn't specific enough for you?" James scowled.

and on one he wouldn't have given the student a three out of ten it was so poorly done.

"I'm finding it more of a miracle every day anybody ever passed his courses," Sirius snarled.

When they were finally released, Snape set them the homework of an essay on how to spot and kill a werewolf,

"He shouldn't even be allowed to assign homework while he's subbing," Harry huffed.

Remus personally felt he might have argued that point, for any other teacher, but didn't find it worth it for this pompous git.

two rolls of parchment,

"Two rolls of parchment?" Lily balked. "They may as well just copyright the whole chapter on them."

"He may as well simply write on the board what he's wanting them to figure out!" James snarled.

and he wanted it Monday.

"Please Remus, please drag your arse out of bed and make it to that class," Sirius groaned.

Remus gave his friend a pitying look, though he couldn't deny he hoped so himself.**

He finished by saying it was high time someone took over this class.

"I swear he'd mock Dumbledore himself he's so bitter about not getting this job," James grumbled.

Ron had to stay behind to be given his detention details, while the rest of the class stormed out and hardly waited until they turned the corner to talk about Snape.

"Impressed they even have that self-restraint," Sirius huffed.

Harry was telling Hermione that Snape had never been that bad before, what was it about Lupin?

"Even knowing the answer, this is still stupid," Harry scowled.

Harry wondered if it was all really because of the boggart.

"Actually not," Remus disagreed, then he blinked when he realized Harry actually didn't know the complete reason. Harry now thought Snape hated him for their childhood grudge they had told Harry about, but they had actually left something out when briefly telling Harry a bit about their time during school. No one had brought up the night that Snape had figured out he was a werewolf. Harry didn't seem to be questioning this now, and Remus swallowed hard before asking hesitantly, "ah Harry, why aren't you more surprised Severus knows about me?"

Harry just shrugged as he said, "thought all the teachers would know, none of them seem to be that confused as to why you're sick."

James and Sirius exchanged uneasy looks when they realized what Remus was considering telling Harry, then Sirius nudged Remus hard, not particularly wanting that story to come to his ears right now. Yes Harry right now still didn't really think the worst of Sirius like he did back when he was thirteen, but he'd still rather go as long as possible without that little story coming up.

Remus wasn't going to argue the point, so James took the silent opportunity to keep going.

Hermione disagreed, but did hope Lupin was feeling better soon.

"Trust us Hermione, we all do," Lily sighed.

Ron ran up to them not long later, calling Snape something that made Hermione say 'Ron!'

"What did he say?" Sirius asked, far too amused in Lily's opinion.

Harry told them, which made Lily do a double take that he knew that word, but James chuckled in complete agreement and moved on anyways.

Then he explained his detention was to scrub out the bedpans in the hospital wing, without using magic.

Most of them muttered either 'ouch' or 'ew' for that particular punishment.

Then Ron groused at the world why couldn't Black have hid out in Snape's office and done him in for them?

"Now why didn't I think of that," Sirius cried, shifting the baby carefully into one arm so he could pop himself on the forehead for the theatrics, causing at least Harry to laugh.

Harry woke the next morning with Peeves blowing air into his face.

"I've never known Peeves to get into the dorms," Lily startled.

"We've let him in from time to time as personal vengeance," Remus shrugged, more than happy at this change of subject. "The twins might have done the same for some pregame jitters release."

Harry asked what the point of that was, and Peeves just laughed as he left.

"He's a lovely chap really," James snickered.

Harry glanced at his clock and saw it wasn't even five in the morning.

"Dang," Sirius drew the word out, now grimacing in pity.

It was impossible to go back to sleep though, the weather outside was so awful you could hardly see five feet. So instead Harry got up and went downstairs to lounge in front of the fire, but as he was leaving his room, Crookshanks tried to sneak past, and Harry had to grab him to stop him.

"That cat really does seem to have it out for Scabbers in particular," Lily winced.

Harry gave his mom a curious look, very much wondering why his gut's first reaction was to agree with his mother's obvious joke. Cats didn't 'have it out' for any other particular animal...right?

He pulled the cat outside and scolded it, telling him to leave Scabbers alone.

"Never met a pet with a grudge," Remus chuckled without any amusement.

Harry was left stewing in the common room, reflecting that the larger boy Diggory who he'd seen in the hallway would have a better time in the field today as this weather wouldn't bother his bulk nearly as much.

"Well dang, this just all kinds of sucks," Sirius grimaced.

He didn't move around too much, except to occasionally get back to his feet and stop Crookshanks going back up to his room,

"Jeez, I think Hermione should put a leash on this cat," James scowled.

"We'll be lucky if we go till the end of the year without another accident like last time," Sirius agreed.

but before long the rest of the team arrived and they went down to breakfast. Oliver was in a clear panic as he kept eyeing the storm outside, and Alicia tried to calm him down it was just a little rain.

"Admire the girl's pep anyways," Remus smiled.

"Even if this sounds like quite a bit more than 'a bit of rain,'" Lily smirked.

Such was the popularity of Quidditch, that the weather be damned, and the stadium filled to capacity just like always. As Harry tromped down in the muck, he spotted Malfoy and his friends with an umbrella laughing at the lot of them.

"You just wait you pompous, arrogant little thing," James sneered, "you've got four more years of this game, and I'll bet the next time you do have to play Harry the weather's going to be just as bad, and Harry's still going to sweep you seven ways."

Harry couldn't help but grin at his dad for the confidence, allowing him to ignore a building sense of unease about this game. He was trying very hard to ignore this, not wanting yet another game to be ruined again.

Inside the locker rooms, Wood was trying to give his usual pep talk, but words were escaping him, until finally he gave up and led them outside.

"Wow, poor kid," Sirius said in sympathy.

Lily still couldn't help but feel he was taking this a little too seriously, but she also recognized that there wasn't much she could do but continue hoping nothing to bad happened during this game. One quick glance at Harry didn't help those spirits.

The wind was so fierce Harry was staggering even before he made it to the center of the stadium, and already half blinded by the rain all over his glasses.

"No one's still showed you that charm," James scowled at Harry's team mates. Sure it didn't say anyone else wore glasses, but surely someone would have taken the time to show Harry this.

Harry just shrugged, admitting that no, no one had told him about this so he'd not known to do it.

Harry was having problems seeing his own glove, how was he going to find the tiny golden ball? The Captains of the teams shook hands, and while Diggory tried for a smile, Harry saw that Wood looked more tense then anything.

"Nicer than some other teams, I assure you," Remus snickered.

Harry didn't hear Madam Hooch's order to get on their brooms, but he followed suit as the others did, and also went on faith as he kicked off that the whistle had been blown.

James couldn't help the little swell of happiness that reading this caused him, absolutely positive that nothing could go wrong during this game.

He shot into the air like always, but soon found himself completely lost. He couldn't hear the commentator, could barely make out the sea of students below, and more than once a Bludger nearly took his head off because he couldn't see through the downpour drowning his glasses.

All five of them were frowning at this, knowing the game was hardly any fun in these conditions. James was still personally affronted someone, like himself, hadn't been able to give Harry some simple advice like blocking the rain from his glasses, but he refused to let his mood stay dampened and so read on with forced chipper.

He only just noticed Wood waving him to the ground, and Harry shot down to find Wood had called a timeout, and Harry took the quick moment to try and wipe off his glasses.

"What did you even have to dry them on," Sirius rolled his eyes, "sounds like everything on you was soaked."

Harry nodded, admitting he hadn't exactly done a good job and had in fact made his glasses even wetter.

Harry asked what was going on with the rest of the game, and found they were winning by points, but they had to catch the Snitch soon to keep it. Harry was just pointing out how useless he felt with the glasses when Hermione showed up, telling Harry she knew something that might help.

"Thank Merlin for Hermione," James smirked.

"High time someone thought to give you that spell," Sirius agreed.

She took Harry's glasses and used the spell Impervius on them.

Harry nodded to himself, now determined to commit that spell to memory for future use.

She explained that now they would keep water off his face, and Wood looked likely to kiss her.

"I'm sure that would have been a sight," Remus said, not even bothering to hide a light laugh at this obvious joke.

They returned to the game with renewed vigor, and Harry was just banking around the field when he saw it again, in the highest points of the stands was sitting a black dog.

All of them released surprised bursts of laughter at this. Even Lily had to admit, loco or not, Sirius would certainly not have sat by when he found out Harry was on the Quidditch team and would swim across an ocean just to see this for himself. Harry went from startled at realizing this to amusement himself, further burying that nuisance of a feeling that something really bad was about to happen. Surely he was just remembering the feelings of having to play in such weather.

Harry was so shocked he nearly slipped off his broom,

Sirius refused to let his wince ruin his proud look, so he'd startled Harry again, Harry was sure to shake it off and continue playing.

but when he steadied himself and looked again, the dog was gone.

"Looks like you got spotted," Remus noted lightly.

Sirius cocked his head to the side, curious why he would have moved even if Harry had stared at him. Honestly he'd have much rather his future self had done something that would make Harry want to seek him out, rather than this constant disappearing act. The Knight Bus he could understand not wanting to hang around, but in the stands like this, why should he do more than he already was to stay out of sight?

He didn't get long to dwell on it, as he spotted Cedric racing into the sky, and feet above him, was the snitch.

"Dang it Sirius," James fake scowled, "quite distracting him!"

"Well I am just so sorry he spotted me at all," Sirius grinned with good nature, then he turned to Harry and said with mock sternness, "how dare you pick me out in the crowd like that and get caught off guard."

Harry was chuckling lightly, ignoring the growing tension inside of him as he continued bouncing around in unease. All of the boys noticed his mood this time, and James frowned for real now, wondering if Harry really might have lost the match this time. He quickly turned back to the book rather than let anyone dwell on it too much.

Harry slammed into high gear, yelling at his broom to go faster so he could catch up,

'Doubt yelling at it actually helps' Lily couldn't help but think, but leaned forward, just as hopeful as anyone else that Harry truly did win.

but then he realized something weird was happening. The howl of the wind was dying down, and a new cold was seeping in. He glanced around in confusion, wondering why his hearing was failing him,

Harry groaned, coiling back into the couch suddenly as the ghost of a chill crept back over him; he now knew without a single doubt what was going on, and he didn't want this one little bit.

James turned an ugly shade of gray as he looked swiftly from the book, to his son, to Sirius; coming to the sudden realization why Sirius might have run out of there now. If Sirius had sensed the dementors coming, it's no wonder he would have bolted.

Sirius had to restrain himself from not shivering so hard it would wake up the napping child in his lap, but instead wrapped his arms as tight around him as he could without disturbing him. Remus gave him a pitiful look, but no words of comfort really came to mind.

Lily made a choking noise, remembering all too well what had happened the last time Harry had been around those things. She didn't even have the heart to ask how high up he was on his broom, but simply scooped up her sons hand and held it tightly in her own, feeling slightly warmed when he returned the pressure.

then Harry glanced down as he recognized that cold feeling, and saw them moving on the field blow, gliding up towards them.

"Like I needed confirmation," James muttered as he turned the page with perhaps more force than necessary out of nerves.

At least a hundred dementors,

"A-a hun-" Lily stuttered, looking nearly faint.

"Harry passed out when he was around one," James moaned, his hands shaking so hard the book was close to falling from his grip.

Harry didn't seem to appreciate the reminder, but he just couldn't muster up the energy to gripe at his dad for it. The echo of that empty, cold feeling was as clear now as if he were in front of a dementor right now, but it wasn't nearly as bad as what his gut was insisting. Something was about to happen, something bad, something that his family wasn't going to appreciate hearing about.

Sirius and Remus exchanged a look, still on the same mindset as James and hoping that at least this time someone would step in sooner and try to get rid of those dementors. Then each remembered their own reason why that wouldn't have happened. Remus was too sick to attend class, surely he was passed out in a bed somewhere. Sirius had just made a run from the arena, most likely unaware of Harry's condition, and even if he was, could he really do anything to help without getting caught?

James swallowed hard, now desperately wishing he had forced Sirius to read this chapter just so he wouldn't have to, but knew it wouldn't be right to force anyone else to read about this either, so he mustered himself up and read.

could be spotted floating towards him,

'Why him!' Lily wanted to sob. Those things were in a stadium full of people, she vaguely understood why they would have been attracted to the swells of emotion coming from there, but why would any of them focus on her son in particular. She wasn't an expert on dementors, and wasn't even sure of how they worked. She understood they could be controlled and given directions, but she also couldn't understand how that would relate to her son. She had no doubts though that no one understood this any better than her, maybe Remus, but she was far more concerned with hearing that Harry didn't break every bone in his body and couldn't bring herself to ask without really starting to cry so bottled that in.

and once again Harry could hear screaming beginning inside his head, it was a woman he knew, then he could make out her words, 'not Harry.'

Now the book really did clatter to the floor, and James couldn't help the tears that sprung to his eyes. He realized what Harry was remembering now...

"Oh," Lily whispered, swallowing very hard and blinking slowly and carefully as she tried her very best not to burst into tears as she suddenly realized what her baby's worst memory was.

Harry went pale as his father, leaning away from the book as if it were going to lash out and bite him, and almost wishing it would. That would feel better than this horrible pit that was growing inside of him as that memory came back to mind.

James was just looking down at the book like it truly was his dead wife. He didn't think he could do this, sit here and read about Lily's final moments. It wasn't like when he'd realized the deadly situations Harry was in, like reading the basilisk. Then, he could continually glance up at his grown son, and take comfort Harry had survived. Now though, now he truly couldn't do that, because Lily...

"Here," and suddenly his son was being placed into his vacant hands, and James was rather startled to realize that his lap had some odd little wet spots. He shook his head so violently his glasses were nearly tossed across the room as he glanced up and around to see Sirius now picking up the book and rummaging around for his spot. Then he quickly went about settling his now fussy child, who clearly wasn't pleased at the sudden change in placement.

Both Sirius and Remus were the color of new snow, and one look over showed Harry and Lily were only a bit better than James because they were clinging to each other. Harry was all but curled into his mother, and while Lily's lower lip was trembling violently she was holding herself together by brushing her hand repetitively through her son's hair in comfort for them both.

Sirius' hands were shaking so bad, he was likely to get a couple of paper cuts from flipping pages until he found his place, but he'd take that any day rather than try and watch James say what he forced out next.

There was another voice, telling her to move, but the woman refused, begging over and over again not Harry. Harry knew he should do something, because that woman was going to die, but there was nothing, he knew nothing but sound as the woman continued to scream for mercy. Then he blacked out.

He had read all of that so fast, most of the words had strung together and his voice was so thick with emotion it was lucky they understood any of it. They all had though, so it was more unlucky in this case. Sirius had to clear his throat several times before he made as if to keep going, but then James forced himself to collect his emotions, and shove them out so that he could deal with it later. For now, he gave Sirius a grateful squeeze on the shoulder, and offered back Harry.

Sirius took a moment to silently asses his friend. He didn't really like what he saw, but under the circumstances the fact that James wasn't curled up into a ball on the floor was a miracle in itself, so he relented. Recognizing that James needed to do this for himself, not only finish this chapter, but continue reading this play out.

Remus and Sirius exchanged a look, loaded down with concern and their own distraught at the situation, but Sirius did indeed take the baby back so that James could read. Taking several deep breaths to make sure he could go on intelligibly, he began again.

There were other voices now, talking about how lucky Harry was he wasn't dead, it was a very good thing the ground had been more mud than anything, but it couldn't have been that bad as his glasses hadn't even broke.

"That's right comforting to wake up to that is," Harry mumbled, rubbing furiously at his arms to get the ghost of that chill away. Lily wrapped her arm protectively around him, not letting any more space between them then she could help, but knew better than to offer a spell to warm him. This wasn't the kind of thing normal heat could cure, but her warm hug seemed to be doing the trick.

Harry struggled to remember, but was coming up blank. He had no idea where he was, or how he'd got there, or what could have caused this.

"Don't rightly want him to remember to be honest," James huffed, dearly wishing he could purge that own memory from his system, let alone it festering in his son's mind.

Then someone whispered how scary it had all been, and Harry's brain caught up and he did remember as his eyes jerked open.

Remus sighed, wondering if it might be in his power in this future to convince Dumbledore Harry might do some good with a couple of extra DADA lessons. He was clearly vulnerable to dementors in particular, who could blame him, and Remus knew without a doubt he'd work day and night with Harry to help him learn the charm to counter them. Considering how limited he'd been so far though, he couldn't help but wonder if the headmaster would assent to this. Clearly Remus didn't have a lot of say in the matter, despite that right now he wouldn't have cared and done it anyways no matter what anyone said, it seemed in this future he may have lost his will along with his friends.

Harry was in a bed in the hospital wing, with the majority of his team around his bed looking like they'd had a mud bath. Ron and Hermione were there as well, though more wet then anything. Fred was the first to get over his shock of him being awake, asking how he was?

"Absolutely peachy, and you?" Sirius scowled.

Harry let his mind rewind back, to that Grim he'd seen, watching Diggory go after the Snitch, then the dementors showing up.

The group gave a collective shudder, now knowing they'd rather break an arm then allow Harry near those dementors again.

Harry asked what happened after that, and Fred told that Harry had collapsed, falling fifty feet back to the ground.

"Because this wasn't the worst day of my life already, I really needed that mental image," James scowled, for the first time ever really wanting Fred to shut up now.

Alicia mumbled that they'd thought he'd died. Hermione made an odd noise, her eyes looking rather bloodshot at that statement.

That drew a wane smile from Lily at least, remembering her little guess that Hermione might truly see Harry as more than a friend, or at least it was heading that way, but she still felt a little too emotional about a few other things to really think on it.

Harry wouldn't linger on that, asking when the rematch for the game would be.

James snorted so violently the book nearly slipped from his grasp again.

"Well, glad he's got his priorities straight," Remus said in a too high pitched voice.

Harry gave them a rather sheepish look, before shrugging and admitting, "really didn't want to dwell on that memory in front of them, so I picked the first thing that came to mind."

"Would they do a replay?" Lily asked quickly, fully understanding his logic.

James mulled that over for a moment, deciding he needed to thank his son for giving him this distraction as he said aloud, "It depends. What with the dementors interrupting, and depending on when exactly Harry fell off, if that other kid caught the Snitch before Harry fell it would have been fair."

Harry didn't think his feelings could actually sink lower, but now as he continued remembering his teammate's faces, and his father's words sinking in, he realized this day actually could get worse.

James winced as he realized he wasn't exactly helping, so hoping he was wrong he read.

When no one answered him, Harry then came to the conclusion that they'd lost. George explained properly saying Diggory had got the Snitch right before Harry fell.

"Dang it," they all muttered, though absently noting they didn't feel nearly as down about this as they should have. Somehow, this game just didn't feel as important as it should have anymore. They were certain that if Harry had won and this still happened, they would have properly congratulated him, but do to circumstances, James instead did what any good father would and told his son, "'s'alright Harry. Can't win every match you play right? You're still a damned good Seeker, but even the best have to lose at it sometimes."

Harry beamed over at him, warmed beyond belief the others didn't blame him all the more for not only bringing up this terrible memory, but losing the game to boot. They were in fact going out of their way to comfort him and still try to make him feel better.

Diggory had tried to call it off, asking for a rematch himself,

"Least he's a decent kind," Sirius grinned.

but even Wood had admitted it was a fair game. Harry then realized his captain wasn't present, and asked where he was. Fred told that he was drowning himself in the shower somewhere.

They all grimaced, thinking the captain of the team should be up there making sure Harry was okay along with everyone else, but none of them could muster up the energy to be too mad at him, still drained themselves.

Harry curled into himself then, pressed his forehead against his knees in frustration and grabbing at his hair. Fred wouldn't allow that, shaking Harry's shoulder to keep his attention.

James immediately took back what he'd thought before about wanting the twins to shut up, and hoped these two would set Harry straight then like he had now.

Comforting the boy that Harry couldn't win every game there was, it had been bound to happen. George jumped in that it didn't even put them out of the Cup, it all added up to points from the other teams.

"See, you're not even out of the running yet," Remus reminded bracingly, making Harry really smile this time. He may have lost the match, and was still stuck on hearing his mother's last moments, but it was still good to know he hadn't lost his team the running. Surely there must be some way to combat dementors and their effects, his gut was already assuring him he was on the right track so that he could fix this problem and hopefully not have to deal with this ever again.

Harry said nothing, still frozen on the fact that he'd lost his Quidditch game.

"Happens to the best of us," James and Sirius said together. It still wasn't as funny as it usually was to them, but any attempt at humor was happily welcomed as the somber mood continued to linger.

Madam Pomfrey came marching over then, telling them all to get out so Harry could rest.

"She's such a killjoy," Remus huffed with a roll of his eyes.

Ron and Hermione didn't move though.

"Oh good, at least they got to stay," Lily slightly perked up.

Hermione began to explain how angry Dumbledore had been when he'd heard, that he'd been the one to use a spell to slow Harry's fall to the ground,

"Good of him, least someone did," they all muttered a variation of this, still wanting to kick at themselves for not being the ones to do this.

and how he'd used some silvery spell to make the dementors go away.

"What silver stuff?" Harry asked swiftly, having noted before this was what Remus had been said to do as well to make them go away.

Remus was quick to respond, explaining all about the spell, and by the end Harry looked nearly back to normal. He was so sure in that moment that he must have already learned this, no matter how advanced Remus kept trying to tell him it was. The spell seemed very familiar to him, it seemed to hold a significance he couldn't place, plus Remus being the one to tell him this felt right. When Harry tried to explain this to them, they all beamed with pleasure, having no doubts that, no matter how hard it would be, Harry, along with Remus' help, could master this.

Then Ron jumped in that Dumbledore had been the one to take Harry up here, but it hadn't looked good, everyone thought he might be...

James grimaced in disgust, mentally tallying up the times he'd had to say that aloud, and growing more than sick of the number.

he didn't seem able to finish, but Harry didn't need him to, nor did he really pay it much mind. He was stuck on what he'd heard when the dementors came for him, and the screaming returned. He looked around for something else to think about,

"Guess you didn't tell them then," Lily murmured, hardly looking upset this time. She personally didn't want to sit around and hear Harry explain this to anyone, let alone his friends.

and asked where his broom was? No one answered.

"Oh this can't be good," James' frown actually deepend at their hesitation, then he read quickly.

It took Harry prompting them for Hermione to begin saying that when Harry had let go, his broom had blown away,

"Someone couldn't have summoned it back?" Sirius asked listlessly, personally still too distracted by memories to come to really think on this much.

and hit the Whomping Willow.

Considering how numb most of them felt, this really couldn't draw nearly as much of a reaction out of them as it normally would have. It was pretty awful that something like that happened to him, but it was clear as Harry continued leaning into his mother it wasn't his greatest concern right now. Sirius couldn't even bring himself to make the joke that falling off his broom had really been the better option.

Harry felt a horrible jump inside of him, well remembering that violent tree as he continued asking,

"And I'm guessing the broom didn't come out on top in that fight," Remus sighed, so quietly no one but Sirius really heard it, and he couldn't really muster up a smile for him this time.

and Ron added on that the tree didn't like being hit.

"I'm sure Harry remembers that actually," James grumbled.

Then Ron finally turned loose a bag full of twigs and the remainder of his handle, and Harry stared down at his destroyed Nimbus Two Thousand.

"Ouch," James muttered, tossing the book away from him and watching with only the vaguest satisfaction as it landed on the table, then reached eagerly out for his son which Sirius willingly handed over.

HPHPHP

So this had to be like the most depressing chapter, for all kinds of reasons. Their wrong assumptions of all these people's motives, poor dang Sirius, Remus, and James, Lily and Harry, and Harry's Nimbus... but I hope you still enjoyed.

*A hilarious plot hole that I think can be waved off by Dumbledore, he allows Sirius to do exactly this next year but under normal circumstances would be blocked so that any random old person couldn't do exactly this.

**This is just something personal I noticed but couldn't work in how to make anyone point it out since Harry would obviously know by now, but does this mean that Hogwarts has block scheduling? Harry went his whole first week and didn't have DADA until Friday, why would Snape tell them to give it to him Monday. He's clearly assuming he'll have the class again for the assignment to be handed in to him, but that must mean the weeks have different class time frames different weeks. In the next chapter though, they clearly have DADA again on that Monday, so I don't know why they wouldn't have had it on their first week.

#The Life that Never Lived #Marauders #fanfiction #Harry Potter #James Potter #Lily Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #reading the books #PoA

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melancholic-pigeon · 4 years ago

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I would like everyone to know in advance, if I ever reblog advice on commenting, it is not directed at lurkers generally; it is directed at the specific people who want comment and don't know where to start. This is and will remain a lurker-friendly space.

I have a lot of thoughts churning around in my brain about the Commenting DiscourseTM.

It seems to me that because people can be assholes and assholes tend to be louder, people do not always feel safe reblogging or kudosing or commenting, because of a. witch hunts, b. asshole authors who shit on their commenters, c. any reason whatsoever. And that's always valid, and very important to keep in mind.

It's also absolutely true that guilting people into it is not going to help people feel more comfortable with commenting. Making things obligatory is, in my experience, one of the fastest ways to stop people from engaging in a fun hobby.

Lurkers are amazing. I've been one. I know intellectually that all of this is true.

However, I don't think it's entirely fair to act like authors are entitled for desperately wanting feedback.

and again, I AM FULLY AWARE THIS IS MY OWN SHIT, NONE PEOPLE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY FEELINGS OTHER THAN ME, THIS IS TRUE FOR EVERYTHING.

Someone put forth a metaphor framing it as a business transaction. I disagree that fandom is a business transaction. I'm thinking of it more in terms of a street performance. (Pretend for the sake of the metaphor that money is not a factor.)

No one person is obligated to do anything. It still hurts when you're sitting out in a huge square and a crowd of people gathers around you to hear your music, and less than one percent of them clap, a smaller percentage than that tell you they like it, and the rest (>99%) walk away without so much as a nod.

yes, I know the majority of them are probably going "oh, neat!" and may even come back and see me again. I'm certain there are some who wanted to say something, but they'd been heckled by performers before, and now they're afraid to. This is not any single person's fault or responsibility.

But it's also true that after a while, on bad days when every person who stops to watch you just walks away when you’re done without smiling or nodding or clapping or speaking or anything, you start going through periods where you wish you'd just stayed in your living room with two or three friends, because the vast, overwhelming majority of people don't react at all, in any way, whatsoever.

You can't know if people are walking away because they're shy and afraid, or if they're walking away because they're gathering evidence to make a nasty callout and spread around libel because you sang a problematic sea shanty.

Writers are scared too. And I really, really don't think the majority of us are angry and entitled; I think we're typically extremely insecure about our writing and terrified that we're awful and hurting because humans don't like feeling ignored.

That said, the solution to this isn't to guilt lurkers, and there very much are street performers who scream at the crowd for not applauding or throw tomatoes at people who applaud wrong or rant about how applause is meaningless if you don't personally write the musician a twenty-page double-sided essay on everything you liked, in perfect MLA format, with citations and a three-page bibliography.

I honestly don't think there's a good solution here. Because some writers say "please comment sometimes" and mean "YOU PERSONALLY MUST COMMENT EVERY TIME", and some readers say "don't guilt people into commenting" when they mean "YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO FEEL DEMORALIZED BY PUTTING YOUR HEART ON THE INTERNET AND BEING MET WITH CRICKETS". This is not AT ALL the majority of the people making these points, but again with the Loud Asshole principle.

I don't know. I guess it bothers me from both ends. When I see people talk about author entitlement, it just makes me tired.

I'm not angsty about lack of feedback because I think I'm owed feedback, or because I don't appreciate the feedback I get, or because I think my lurkers are all secretly assholes. I'm angsty about it because I legitimately 100% think I'm a bad writer. My gremlin brain assumes that when people don't kudos, when nothing goes up but the hits, it's my fault for being a disappointment. Just because this is true doesn't mean I'm blaming anyone for it, or unaware it's my baggage to carry.

And like I said above, when I encourage commenting, it's directed at the people who told me they're sorry their (lovely, moving) comments don't make sense or aren't good enough, and particularly the people who want to be that person but haven't actually gotten over the hump yet. That if you have something to say, anything at all, I consider that a precious gift and will probably offer you my fucking soul on a platter!

Actually, scratch that, there is a solution.

Since I feel this way about comments, I try to comment on everything I read. (I don't always succeed! If I actually shamed people for lurking, I'd be a class-A hypocrite!) The way to fix this is to comment more, and I am a person who is capable of doing that sometimes, so I can and should be proactive in this arena.

I'm in control of my commenting habits. When I'm feeling down, I find something to comment on. It's ultimately more productive for me than dwelling, and oh, look at that, it's increased someone's comment ratio, and required no guilting of other people!

I feel pretty strongly about personal agency, not mixing up individual and systemic responsibility for problems, gray areas being way more ubiquitous than we give them credit for, and assuming everyone is doing their best until they prove otherwise beyond a reasonable doubt.

I think we can both avoid laying blame for systemic issues on individual actors while also not minimizing that the issue exists.

#pigeon chatters #reader-writer interaction

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skzsauce01 · 5 years ago

Text

Stolen

Description: After having his Soul Stone stolen by you, a witch, vampire!Jisung, can’t help but be intrigued by you. Unfortunately, your best friend is a werewolf and killer vampires have your school under attack.

Warning: blood, death, censored cursing, attempted rape

Word count: 8.5k

Pairing: Jisung x fem!reader, some Hyunjin x fem!reader

Special thanks to ad.gray who helped edit (and roast)!

He finds it even more ironic that you are a witch. He, a vampire, the rarest and most powerful species, had his Soul Stone stolen by a witch, the most common and “blah” species of them all.

Yet as fate would have it, there he is, leaning on the frame of the main door to the vampire dorm watching as you return his stone the very next morning with a lowered head and a bag of cookies as a peace tribute.

You had stolen it for class, you explained. Your teacher assigned an essay on how you would go about stealing something and recommended actually trying to do so for up to a 20% extra credit opportunity. Thus, you snuck into the vampire’s room last night. You were caught of course, but Jisung was overconfident. He held one of your wrist against your belly and the other in the air while teasing his teeth over your neck.

You knew he wouldn’t bite. For one, he hadn’t turned yet, and for another, vampires seem to hold a virtue of needing consent before biting.

His stone was in the shape of a ring and forgotten on his index finger. It took a bit, but you finally managed to slip it off without him noticing and jumped out his window, transforming into a cat before landing.

You ran to a silver store afterward, which is probably why Jisung hasn’t thrown you in a cell yet, but you couldn’t hide forever. So there you are, project completed and raising the ring back to its owner.

After hearing your explanation and apologies, Jisung slowly descends the front steps to meet you on the sidewalk, and you flinch with every step he takes. Finally, you feel a chill hand clasp on top of yours. You might as well have died right then and there from fear until you hear him laugh.

“It’s okay. Look up.”

You shakily do as he says and see an amused face.

“You’re Y/N, right? You have Professor Bang?”

“Y-yes,” you reply.

He closes your hand around the ring and steps back. “He’s also this dorm’s director. He knew you’d steal my Stone and gave me a fake one, see?” He pulls out a chain from around his neck to reveal the authentic stone hanging from it. “I didn’t think you could do it though, so I applaud you. Why return it though? If it were real, you could have had a vampire under your mercy.”

“Well, I--” you inwardly curse at your voice for shaking-- “It’s not mine, and it just seemed like the right thing to do, so here I am.”

He laughs again and snarls, which makes you jump and him let out another round of chuckles at your expense.

“Sorry, sorry. I won’t do that again. You’re really afraid of vampires, aren’t you?”

“N-no?”

He rolls his eyes, amused. “Why choose one to steal from when you’re this scared?”

“He offered me the most extra credit for it,” you admit in a low voice.

“Bang Chan,” Jisung mutters, “he did that on purpose to mess with me, didn’t he?”

“W-well then, that’s all I wanted to say!” you exclaiming, hoping to end the conversation. “Please excuse me!” You stuff the bag of handmade sweets in his hands and speed away in an awkward combination of both walking and running.

Jisung watches with interest as your back disappears into the shrubbery. When you are gone, he turns back into the house and takes out a cookie. Chocolate chip. He bites into it and the chip he broke bursts into a pool of blood in his mouth. His eyes widen, and he wolfs down the rest of the treat with impatience. He really does need to see you again, especially after finishing the bag.

It doesn’t take much to find a vampire on campus. To compensate them for not being able to see their own reflection, Nature has made them all incredibly attractive, which means a lot of fangirls squealing and loosening their neckties when one is around.

You inwardly sigh when you start hearing the familiar commotion from the door of the communal laboratory you are in. To make matters worse, the vampire is none other than the one you very much stole from.

He catches your eyes and smiles, making his way to the station in front of yours. You quickly look back at your tubes and try to look busy.

“Hey,” he greets regardless.

“Hi.”

He raises an eyebrow at your work, but leaves you to it and begins setting up his own work, an action you are most grateful for.

However, that doesn’t stop someone else from disturbing your peace.

“What are you working on?”

“Hyunjin! Why are you here?” you gasp at the werewolf’s sudden appearance by your side.

He looks at the instructions you are using and lets out a knowing “ahhh.” You were making perfume, a popular product females tend to use monthly to protect themselves from those with blood in their diets.

“Doesn’t the school provide you some? They’re like in every classroom in case someone get like a cut or something. Why do you keep making your own?”

“You said those smell bad.”

Jisung agrees that the body sprays the school provides smell like cheap rubbing alcohol, but the more pressing issue at the moment was why you are so familiar with a werewolf.

“Aww, you don’t have to work so hard for me,” Hyunjin purrs into you neck once he saw the vampire’s interest in your conversation.

“It’s not just for you, Hyunjin,” you say with a roll of your eyes. “If you don’t like it, I’m sure other predator species don’t either.”

Hyunjin doesn’t give up. “I know you love me. There’s no need to hide it!”

“Please stop. There’s other people around.”

“So you wanna go somewhere private?” he whispers just loud enough for only you and the male in front of you to hear.

Jisung crushes the test tube he was holding in his hands. Some of its contents splashes into another container of substances, causing pandemonium on his lab table.

You scramble to his side. Some students are screaming at the bursts of fire and foul odor the reaction produced.

“What were the reactants?” you ask Jisung.

“Nitrite and toad spit,” he answers, clearly shaken by the mess in front of him.

You run to the chemical closet for a bottle of mermaid pee from under the counter and pour it onto the table, successfully neutralizing the reaction. After the last drop of pee had fallen, you and Jisung are still staring at the mess, gasping in post-shock.

"You're amazing," he gasps.

Coming back to reality and realizing what creature stood next to you, you quickly shrink back to Hyunjin who puts you posessively behind him and stares at Jisung.

"Not really," you muster.

Once the real peril has passed, Jisung's fans are quick to his side with towels and cleaning supplies. You forgo your own project, knowing some girl will carelessly knock over something anyway, and let Hyunjin drag you out of the lab.

“Hey, Y/N.” Once outside, Hyunjin lets go of your hand but still sticks close by. “Be careful of Jisung. I think he has an agenda with you.”

“Just because werewolves and vampires don’t get along--”

“No, think about it. Have you ever seen a vampire in the school lab?” he cuts.

You shake your head.

“That’s because they’re filthy rich. They have their own lab in their dorm, so why else would he be there, right in front of you too, might I add?”

Back inside, Jisung looks for you in vain over the crowd. He doesn’t even have a project to work on; he had honestly just been trying to find the right window of time to ask for your cookie recipe and maybe get to know you a little better. Now, not only is he swamped by human flesh, he also found out you are in some sort of relationship with a werewolf. Sure, the feud between werewolves and vampires ended a century ago, but both communities still held lingering hatred. To make things worse, the way he was talking to you sure did not sit well with Jisung.

“Someone had sour blood,” comments Bang Chan as his junior slumps through the door.

“Hyung....” Jisung groans, flopping onto the couch next to him. “How’s Y/N like in class?”

Chan raises a brow. “Y/N? Why do you ask?”

“She’s so afraid of us. Doesn’t she freak out with you teaching?”

“Well as a teacher, the school has my Stone, so I can’t go around biting people. She’s actually pretty comfortable with me. One of my favorite students too. Why? Want me to play wingman?”

“What? No! That’s not what I meant!”

Chan giggles. “You’re blushing~”

“That’s impossible!” Jisung retorts. “I haven’t had blood since lunch!”

The younger begins to stomp up the stairs angrily until Chan speaks again. “You’ve probably found out why she steers clear of us, right? You’ve seen the wolf?”

Jisung stops mid-step, prompting him to say more.

“She’s probably heard a lot of warnings from him about us. They practically grew up together.”

“Are they together together?

“I don’t know that much. But do tell me, my lovely Jisung--” Chan smirks and rests his chin on the back of his wrist dramatically. “-- why the sudden interest in the witch?”

“You started it! Who the heck assigns thievery as an assignment anyway?” Jisung yells down and beelines to his room. However, Chan’s words linger in his head. Why indeed does he care? He recalls you wholeheartedly apologizing for your felony and how your eyes shifted with concentration while saving him from his potion disaster…

Jisung shakes his head. It’s those cookies. He just really wants more cookies.

Yet when he finds out Jeongin is paired with you on a project, he skips his classes for the afternoon to stay home.

You arrive at the vampires’ front porch-- the furthest you are willing to go into their territory-- to meet your partner. The male has already moved his supplies outside for the both of you, and the two of you work to mix a solution that best minimizes the effect of silver, an element that nullifies powers, out of the entire class.

“Hi freshmen,” Jisung teases softly while casually walking out of the house.

You bow politely and Jeongin mumbles something back.

“Lemonade?” he offers before peering over at your work. “Oh, I did this last year too. May I stay to watch?”

“I want apple juice,” Jeongin complains.

“Then get it yourself,” Jisung hisses into his ear and takes a seat on a swinging chair after setting a glass of refreshment by you and sipping on another himself.

You thank him, and Jeongin begrudgingly excuses himself to the kitchen.

“Y/N, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Jisung starts.

Upon hearing your name, you bolt up straight and turn towards the sound.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he chuckles. “I just wanted to know how you make those cookies. They were really good.”

“Oh um, I just found a recipe from the library for chocolate chip cookies. Then I just froze blood and dipped it in chocolate for the chips,” you answer.

Jisung nods his head. “Do you know which book it was?”

“‘Neat Sweets,’ I believe. It is light green with brownies on the cover. I can make some more for you if you would like,” you offer apprehensively.

Jisung sits up with a smile. “Really? That’ll be great! Could you teach me how to do it too?”

More time with a vampire? Hyunjin would throw a fit.

“I’ll write out the recipe for you,” you suggest while returning a nervous smile.

The way Jisung deflates back into his chair makes guilt churn in your stomach. You turn back to your work to test the first batch of solution.

“I’m back,” your partner announces.

“Jeongin, do you think you can mix the second set? I finished the first one, so I’ll write down some observations.”

“Sure,” he agrees, “how was the first set?”

“Pretty good. It made a thin layer of foam form around the silver, which will lessen its contact with the flesh. This second experiment should be better though since we’ll use heat to give more reactants energy to form the product.”

“Okay. I finished measuring the reactants. I just heat it now, right?”

“Yes.” You look over to his E flask. “Wait, the silver is supposed to be added after he--”

The solution begins bubbling. Realizing what is to happen, you reach to turn off the fire, but it is too late. Shards of silver ram into the sides of the flask and explode from it. Jeongin is still processing your instructions and unable to react. You turn and tackle the boy to the floor while feeling sharp shards pierce your arms and back.

“Y/N? Y/N!” you hear as your eyes dim.

Jisung waits anxiously in his bat form by the window for you to wake up. Hyunjin was listed as your emergency contact, and the werewolf immediately kicked him and Jeongin out, especially after hearing how you wound up in the hospital in the first place. Hyunjin has yet to notice him, but when you blink awake however, the rodent begins to flap his wings a little too excitedly and ends up banging into the glass.

Hyunjin snaps his head toward the noise with a scowl and gets up to close the blinds, much to Jisung’s disappointment.

“Hyunjin?” you call wearily.

“I’m here. Right here,” he assures, rushing to your side.

“What was that noise?”

“Just a bird. It should be gone now.” He makes sure to raise his voice at the last part. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay. What did the nurse say?”

“The silver was thin and didn’t go in too deep, but your magic system should be affected for a week. Otherwise, they said you should be fine.”

“May I go home today?”

“You could have been discharged once you wake up, but I’m not letting you go back to your dorm. I signed you in for tonight. With me.”

“Hyunjin, the vampires weren’t intentionally hurting me. I’ll be--”

“No, you’re not fine!” he shouts. “And it doesn’t matter what they were doing. You walked into their territory, without telling me, might I add, and was injured. You can’t go to that one place, Y/N; that’s literally all I ask. I can’t see you there; I can’t protect you there.”

“I don’t need to be--”

“Oh really? Even if they do this?”

You feel his breath grazing your neck. You can tell he has turned by the fur on his skin, meaning sharp teeth are just millimeters from your skin. One paw pins down your shoulder, and the other is on the headboard behind you.

“Yes, even then,” you whisper. “I’m just a witch, Hyunjin. Don’t try to fight a vampire for me.”

He drops his head into your chest and gathers you into his arms. “No, don’t say that, Y/N. You don’t know how much that hurts me. You don’t know how much I worried when they told me vampires brought you to the hospital. You don’t know how much I wished I was there with you when that tube exploded…”

You rub behind his ears comfortingly while he shakes against your body. He completely lets his wolf form overtake him and you snuggle into his familiar fur with a purr.

You begin regretting your answer just two days after you said it when a ghoul has you pressed between a tree and his torso right on the outskirts of school. You had just gone grocery shopping, but now your milk is long forgotten by your feet.

You should have called Hyunjin to walk you since the sun was threatening to set. There are a lot of 'should haves' you should have done, but you didn't, so there you are, basically magic-less and obviously much physically weaker than the ghoul.

"Come on, don’t be difficult, sweetie. You know, I've been watching you for a while now, especially how your skirt swings when you pass my desk in the mornings."

"Please let me go," you plead.

"Don't say things like that now," he chides. "You know, the red light district is populated mostly by lowly species like you, witchy."

He starts by kissing you from the base of your neck to your chin while working on your necktie with his fingers. You focus on how much magic you can muster. It certainly isn’t enough to fight him off, but perhaps you can send a spark into the sky to signal Hyunjin. You gather all that you have in urgency-- the ghoul is already traveling down your chest-- and fire.

You watch in despair as your shot barely makes it past the shortest tree. You slump back, completely drained now, to accept your fate.

The ghoul cackles at your attempt. “What were you trying to do with that injury? I did my research before meeting you today, you know; I’m not trying to fight that wolf of yours. This is near the vampire dorm; there’s no way he is close enough to here to be able to see that.”

“He’s not the only one you should be looking out for if you mess with her though.”

The ghoul turns toward the voice and curses.

Within the second, Jisung is between the two of you. You can see him putting back up his human disguise as he faces you.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

You nod and shoot your hands up to your blouse to do the job of your buttons.

He gives a small smile and drapes his blazer over you. “Close your eyes for this, alright?”

You do as told and feel a wave of magic as Jisung drops his human cover again. You hear the ghoul beg for mercy and Jisung retorting something vile back. The two disappear for two minutes, probably with the vampire dragging your harasser to authorities. After the minutes, Jisung returns alone.

“Y/N, it’s alright now. You can open your eyes.”

Jisung stands a good distance from you. “You’re probably afraid of me too, so I can go if you want me to.”

“Wait!” you call and stumble to him to grab his shirt as he begins to turn away. “C-can you stay for a little bit? Just so I can regain myself?”

Jisung can’t help but let on a wide smile. “Of course. For as long as you need.”

He turns back towards you and buries your head in his chest while using his powers to radiate heat from there.

“Thank you,” you mumble.

You walk up to the vampire’s dorm again, this time with a bag that contains Jisung’s blazer and more cookies. Hyunjin trails behind you with his hands up to indicate no harm. You couldn’t explain why you had Jisung’s jacket around you when he found you later that night, so he made you promise to let him come along when you returned it to its owner. He’d behave, you hope. Even Hyunjin knows he doesn’t stand a chance against a whole dorm of vampires, no matter how strong he is.

You knock on the door knocker, feeling less intimidated now. However, all the feelings resurface when an unknown vampire swings the door open. His hair is slicked back and his eyes blood red. Fangs protruded from mouth in a snarl.

Hyunjin quickly moves you behind him. “We’re not here to fight; we just have something to return to Han Jisung.”

“Leave it on the steps and leave, Wolf.”

“Look here,” Hyunjin returns, “I’m trying to be cordial.”

“Changbin-hyung, leave them be. You’re scaring Y/N,” says another voice from inside. Jisung pushes past his friend to relieve you of your baggage. “Thanks Y/N. I’m sorry about that guy.” He then shifts his gaze to your companion and gives him a nod. If Hyunjin is your friend, Jisung supposes he should at least play nice.

“Alright then, we’re done here; let’s go, Y/N.” Hyunjin puts his arm around you and beings turning you around.

“I think Y/N can walk by herself,” Jisung calls after him.

Not too nice.

Hyujin throws a look over his shoulder at the other male, but you agree with Jisung.

You take the opportunity to turn back towards the house and bow at your waist. “Thank you for everything!”

Jisung feels a warmth creep up his features as he waves goodbye at you.

“Mind telling me why that fiend has any reason to thank you?” Changbin interrogates his junior.

“I helped her. Isn’t it natural to thank someone you helped?”

“You helped her? She hangs around a wolf and she’s a witch.”

“She’s not a fiend,” Jisung frowns.

“Did you forget the savagery werewolves inflicted on our kind?”

“That was a war; we both acted barbarically. Besides, there are integration reforms now; we’re supposed to be comrades under the name of this school.” Jisung can't believe he's defending a werewolf of all things. Usually, he stood with Changbin against Chan on these topics.

"And what have you to say about hanging out with a witch?"

"What do you have against a witch?"

"They're useless! Absolutely pathetic! You're a vampire, Jisung. You should find someone of higher caliber to interact with." He tugs on Jisung's ears which were reddening. "Let alone fancy," he whispers.

"I just ate! It happens!" Jisung protests. "Besides, your vampire elitism is ridiculous. She's Chan-hyung's top student. Over Jeongin, might I add."

"That's because he teaches classroom, not the important things."

"Worth isn't just measured on the battlefield."

Changbin just shakes his head. "Where is your pride, Jisung? We're known to graduate and serve in government or run corporations, and you're here trying to befriend a housemaid."

"Hyung! That's enough!"

You are standing outside the door, hand raised, ready to knock until you hear Changbin calling your kind useless and Jisung defending you. You had turned back because you had written out your cookie recipe out on paper but forgot to give it to Jisung. Perhaps it is better for you to just give it to Jeongin tomorrow now.

Hyunjin gives you a confused look when you turn back around without completing your mission. You return to his side and tell him not to worry about it as well as ask to go home. He transforms into his wolf form and carries you back for the price of a good petting session later.

You feel warm with your face buried into the fur of your best friend, but you suspect the warmth to also come from imagining Jisung’s pursed features as he stands up against his hyung for you.

Hyunjin turns his head to see you smiling peacefully on his back. He lets out a content hum and takes extra care to avoid the bumpy spots on the ground.

His yellow hair is slicked back. His eyes would be gleaming red if they aren’t closed. Heavy black shadows dusted eyelids. Worst of all, his mouth is around the side of your hand, sucking whatever he can.

Rather than receiving your recipe, Jisung had convinced you to show him how to do it. To be honest, you too want to know him better, so he didn’t have to try very hard. The day was going well-- he had rented out a communal kitchen, so Hyunjin can’t complain and Jisung wouldn’t be bombarded with fangirls-- until you tried to cut some butter that was a little too frozen.

The knife left droplets of red in its wake. Jisung has never smelled something so delicious before, and the very fact that the blood smells of you makes it all the more impossible for him to not drink.

And so, he drinks. He feels your warmth, breath, and life enter his system. His deadly fangs graze past your skin, ready to act should the cut cease to be enough.

“Jisung,” you try calling.

Your word falls onto deaf ears. The vampire just adjusts his grip on your hand which sends you into fight-or-flight. In panic, you reach for his Soul Stone that you know hangs around his neck.

“Jisung!” you try again once you feel the ring inside your palm.

His head shoots up, and his eyes widen once he realizes what he has been doing.

“Shoot, Y/N, I… Oh my goodness, Y/N I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Oh, why did I-- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-- Shoot, shoot, shoot. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I swear that won’t happen again.”

He bows and bows and bows while trying to read your expression every time he straightens back up. However, you display nothing but shock for him to see. You reach into your bag for a bottle of perfume and spray it. You feel it sting your wound before you bandage it up, an action that Jisung is quick to help you with, trying in anyway he can to make amends.

Jisung usually likes the smell of your perfume-- he’d search for it in the hallways in hopes of finding you-- but now it reminds him of why you have to use it in the first place: to ward off predators. To ward off him.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. Could you.... Could you say something?”

Your eyes snap up when prompted by the request. You take a step back and turn to hide your face in your hair, actions which tear Jisung apart, and take a sharp inhale. “Are you hungry?”

“I--I don’t know. Maybe. I have a snack in my bag, but you were just so-- I mean, I’m just so, so sorry, Y/N.”

You nod and put the butter in the microwave for a few seconds. Jisung doesn’t seem satisfied with your response.

“Would you feel better if I left?”

You turn towards him a little too slowly than he would like and shake your head. “It’s fine. You didn’t bite, and I know you didn’t mean it. I’m just… a little shocked and lightheaded.”

The microwave beeps and Jisung reaches for it from behind you, an action that makes you even more lightheaded. “Then let me help you. Just take a seat and tell me what to do, Y/N.”

You watch him scurry back and forths the kitchen with his brows furrowed, trying to make everything perfect. When he looks up at you with big doe eyes after stirring the batter, you can’t help but smile and feel your earlier shock ease away.

“Like this?” he asks with a quiver.

You let out a small laugh into your hand, much to the male’s surprise which, like everything else, is evident on his face.

“Not quite. Let me show you.”

You take the whisk and ignore his protests. After finishing the batter, the two of you roll bits of it into balls and spread them onto the cookie sheet. When the oven bell dings, the two of you excitedly throw on your mitts and take out two pans: one of blood cookies and another of regular chocolate chips. Jisung pops one into his mouth while it is still piping hot and you gently scold him for it. The earlier tension seems to be forgotten by the two of you.

Jisung looks fondly at you as you blow on your own cookie to cool it down. The one in his mouth doesn’t taste as good now after what he had eaten earlier. He knows he’ll never find anything as irresistible as your blood. He’s heard his hyungs have described the irresistibility and unique flavor of what he has just experienced before, and they all called it one thing: love.

Jisung went to bed happy that night. Bang Chan looked accomplished for some reason after seeing him return home with his head in the clouds. Changbin looked annoyed. Angry even. Well, Jisung decided, Changbin can suck it, and so can Hyunjin because he isn’t about to let you go.

He went to bed happy, but he couldn’t stay that way.

Around two in the morning, the school emergency alarm goes off. Jisung throws on his school blazer and steps groggily outside to see vampires and other creatures piling into the courtyard.

“We are under attack. This is not a drill. Students, report to your homeroom teachers for further assignment,” repeats the speakers over and over.

The announcement is enough to send Jisung’s adrenaline going. “Chan!” he calls. “Channie-hyung!”

He finds the older vampire and clings onto the cuff of his shirt. “Hyung, Y/N is in your class. Take care of her please. She’s really smart. Put her in intelligence.”

“Jisung, that’s not for me to decide. I can’t play favorites and give her a safe position on my own.”

“Hyung…”

Bang Chan bites his lip and grumbles.

“Please,” says a voice, but it isn’t Jisung’s.

The vampires both turn to see a werewolf who slowly lowers his torso toward his sworn enemies. “Please look after her.”

“Hyunjin,” Chan begins. “Hyunjin, you don’t have to do that.”

The wolf straightens up and looks at Jisung. “Come on. Professor Kim is waiting for us.”

Jisung nods and gives Chan one more bow before following Hyunjin. All the while, he looks through the crowd in hopes to find you. He’s later assigned to a combat unit with Changbin and Hyunjin. He questions the decision made by the faculty, but decides he has better things to worry about.

At one point, he catches a glimpse of your hair, but you are gone before he could even call out to you, leaving him with nothing but the smell of your perfume. Changbin, unsure of why his two groupmates suddenly stopped dead in their tracks, urged them onward, rightfully reminding them of their mission.

The trio found and fought a couple enemy groups including goblins and witches. What struck them as odd however, was that the enemies all seemed savagedized. After a long day, the three finally decide to set up camp.

“So who’s taking first watch?” Hyunjin asks.

“Well not you; you’d probably kill us in our sleep,” Changbin scoffs.

“Hyung, Hyunjin had your back a couple of times today,” Jisung interjects before Hyunjin can argue back.

“Once,” Changbin corrects. “And I would have been fine without it.”

“Well I don’t trust Changbin either,” Hyunjin snaps back.

“Fine, I’ll take watch,” Jisung offers. “Is that fine with everyone?”

A grumble of agreement ripples between the two others and they settle down. Jisung sits against a tree with a sigh and watches as the fire they built crackle and pop. He sighs again when he looks at the other two who are sleeping as far away from the other as possible, and he sighs yet again when wondering how you are doing.

After what feels like the hundred exaggerated exhales, he finally hears something that diverts his attention. Something rustled the bushes, sending Jisung to his feet. It sounds small, perhaps a squirrel or a racoon.

“Who is it?” Jisung growls just in case.

“Meow.”

A head of black fur pops out from the shrubbery. Jisung has only seen you transform into a cat once that night when you stole from him, but he immediately feels it in his veins that it is you.

You run to his side, happy to see him, and jump into his arms when he holds them out for you.

“Y/N? You’re on field medicine?”

“Meow.”

He leans into your pelt. “I guess it could have been worse.”

You blush under your fur when you feel his face buried in your side. You look around in embarrassment and spot Hyunjin. You squirm around for Jisung to let you go to him.

“Wait,” says the vampire, now fully alert of something.

You perk up your ears and hear it too. Someone is coming. There’s two of them, and they are moving incredibly quickly.

Jisung puts you onto the tree he was leaning on. “Hide up there, okay? And don’t look down; I’m going to look… well, scary.” He offers you a small smile, never wanting to scare you like he did during the baking session again.

“Changbin-hyung, Hyunjin,” he calls out.

The two wake up just as the people in question arrive. They’re vampires, but they look different from Jisung and Changbin even when they’re turned. Their hair is unkempt rather than clean and slicked back. Their eyes are red but unfocused. Their nails lay long and yellow on their fingers.

“Just vampires? This will be easy,” scoffs Hyunjin.

“You wanna fight?” Changbin snarls back.

“Guys, stop,” Jisung scolds. “Something is off about these two.”

Changbin nods, now more serious. “You’re right. I think they’re the Soul Vampires.”

“Soul Vamps?”

“Vampires who have killed,” Jisung explains. “Biting is addictive for us, especially if we do it so much the person dies. We can absorb parts of their soul through our teeth, which is why it’s so addictive. It can make us stronger, but it can also send us into an insane spiral of thinking of nothing but our next prey.”

“I’ve never seen one before,” Changbin comments with a grunt as he blocks a move from a Soul Vamp. “I guess this is why all the enemies we fought today were so weird; the other side has been feeding off humans.”

“So basically, they’re just a stronger enemy,” Hyunjin reiterates while taking his wolf form.

“Well there’s three of us and only two of them, so it shouldn’t be a big deal.”

“Actually,” Hyunjin growls. “Look at their hands.”

Between the nails of the Soul Vampires is something reflective. Silver. The blood they’ve drunk is letting them heal faster than the silver is causing harm. Changbin lets out a curse, and the air thickens.

An enemy lunges at Hyunjin. The wolf swivels around and pins his foe onto the ground. The vampire twists his arm around and swings silver at his paws. Hyunjin leaps backwards, unknowingly into the second vampire who is waiting with more silver.

Jisung luckily jumps in to push away the second adversary while Changbin wages a fight against the first.

“Thanks,” Hyunjin growls to Jisung.

“Sure.”

The two tag team and finally manage to drive off one of the Soul Vampires with only a few cuts and bruises. However, Changbin is not doing so well by himself. He lets out a grunt, and his comrades turn to find him on the floor with significant pieces of silver lodged into his right leg.

Jisung quickly blocks off the opponent from further hurting his friend. Hyunjin is also quick to the scene.

“Changbin! Prop yourself onto my back!”

“I’m not running away from a fight,” refuses the oldest of the three, “and I’m sure as heck not letting a werewolf help me.”

“Hyung!” Jisung opposes between struggling grunts. “You don’t have much of a choice; you can’t even stand!”

The Soul Vampire throws Jisung to the side and raises his hands which are loaded with silver.

“Grab my fur now!”

He doesn’t. Instead, he emits a blood-curdling scream as metal plunges into his body. He manages to avoid a few of them, but the other vampire throws enough to still knock him unconscious.

“Changbin-hyung!” Jisung cries, rushing to his side.

Hyunjin, seeing Jisung is distracted, headbutts the Soul Vampire in his stead before it can reach for more silver. The wolf chases the foe away, leaving just you and Jisung with an increasingly paling Changbin.

You open your eyes after hearing Changbin’s scream and jump from your tree to the fallen male.

“Y/N, Y/N,” Jisung cries desperately. “Do something. He’s… he’s…”

You release your transformation spell and throw open your medicine kit. You tear away the sticks, knowing silver will do more harm than blood loss, and toss it to the side. Your hands feel a sharp pain as your weak magic reacts with the metal, so you can only imagine what effect it must have on a creature like Changbin. Still, you move without ceasing until the very last piece is torn out.

Even after finishing, your hands sting.

“That’s not good,” you whisper.

“What is it?” Jisung whimpers.

You inspect your hands for the cause of the stinging and find a dusty substance. “Silver powder. It’s still inside him.”

“What can we do?”

“Remember the project Jeongin and I did? I found an even better method that uses a spell to reduce the effects of silver, but--”

“But?”

You bite your lip. “Nothing. It’s nothing. I’m going to start doing it. Do you have some blood in your bag? He’ll need to eat to gain energy.”

Jisung nods and feeds his hyung a packets of blood while you mix together a solution and pour it onto Changbin’s wounds while mumbling a spell. Jisung watches as the liquid solidifies around the silver under your command. He is in awe, but you are feeling something quite the opposite.

You are just a lowly witch. Really, you deserve all the insults and jokes others throw at you for being weak. During the third round of pouring the solution-- about half way through removing enough silver for Changbin’s body to heal itself, you can already feel your breath getting shorter and your vision losing focus.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Jisung asks.

You nod and swipe sweat away from your forehead before continuing with batch number four. You spill batch number five onto your shaking hands and Jisung asks the question again, this time holding onto your shoulders to support you. You shake him off, now unable to process his complaints, and make another mix. You push through that one and make the last blend. You pour it onto Changbin’s wounds and feel Jisung grabbing your wrists to inhibit you from casting your spell. You vaguely realize Hyunjin returning and use the distraction to slip a hand out from Jisungs grasp. You mumble the words one last time then let your body fall into panicking but secure arms.

“Y/N!”

Jisung grips at the bars around your bed, staring at your from and willing it to wake up.

"Are you mad at me?"

Jisung replies without looking back, "Why would I be mad?"

"If I had put my pride down and took Hyunjin's help, she wouldn't be like that right now."

Jisung finally turns to face Changbin who is sitting in the hospital bed beside yours. "I'm not. It is regrettable, but she was the one who decided to save you." He turns back away. "You should apologize to Hyunjin though. And thank Y/N when she wakes up."

Changbin looks down at his hands, processing Jisung's words.

"They're assigning me to another unit within the hour," Jisung continues. “Like they did with Hyunjin.”

"I'll look after her."

The blonde raises a brow at his hyung.

"I'll care for her in your steed, so don't worry," Changbin reiterates.

Jisung lets a small smile spread. “Thanks, Hyung.”

“Sure.” Changbin weakly returns the expression. “Go give ‘em h*ll.”

Jisung gives a sharp nod and, after one last look at your sleeping body, goes to get his new assignment.

After his departure is Changbin’s turn to look at you.

“Y/N,” he begins uncertainly. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to say this to you when you’re awake, but um, Jisung’s right. I guess I let my pride get in the way of doing what is best, and you got hurt because of it. What I’m trying to say is, I’m, uh, I’m sorry and thank you for saving me. You’re not as worthless as I stereotyped you as; you definitely don’t deserve the things I said about you.”

He scrutinizes your face, not sure why he is expecting a reaction. “And um, I guess I wanted to add that Jisung really likes you. He’s like a brother to me, so I want to make sure that whoever he chooses to spend the rest of his life with is worth it. It looks like he’s chosen you, so treat him well, okay? He can be a handful sometimes, but he’s honestly a ball of joy and love. Make him happy, and I promise I’ll, um, make sure you’re always happy too.”

You stir a little which sends Changbin’s heart racing, wondering if you heard the sap he just spewed. Luckily though, you seem to settle back into sleep.

You wake up the next morning. The first thing you notice is the lack of medical personnel attending the usually well-monitored hospital. Instead, a Changbin stares down at you while in crutches. You smell a tinge of blood in the air, and haggard breathing and coughing ripple through the halls.

Once confirming you’re awake, Changbin exits the room to hunt for an available nurse, a task that is proving to be increasingly difficult as the days of battle increases. The vampire is of little words. Still, he surprised you by tending to your every need from eating to helping you get to the bathroom.

Throughout the next three days, you slowly regain your strength with his help. The two of you learn that Soul Vampires are racking up casualties for your side. Twenty-six from your school has died from battle so far, six being just freshmen and four being well-trained seniors. Predator species on your side have been beginning to feed off family and friends in attempts to gain equal footing with them, which adds to the casualty count when someone loses control and kills their loved ones.

There has yet to be a vampire to try doing so, however. For one, they’re too occupied on the front lines to meet with their loved ones. For another, their enemy is exactly what they fear they’ll be if they tried feeding off a human.

Changbin looked grim when he was first presented with the idea of biting someone. You’ve tried to avoid the topic around him, but he is getting better rapidly, and will soon have to make the decision when he is sent to the front lines again. As a matter of fact, the day of departure is tomorrow.

“Mr. Changbin,” you address him as yet another wounded is wheeled past the two of you.

He looks at you from the corner of his eye, trying to look as cold as ever.

“I-if you decide to do it, I, er, can help you.”

He turns fully towards you and narrows his eyes, which makes you freeze, but you hold your ground.

“Why,” he interrogates you.

You don’t have a response. It seems natural; there’s a battle like no other, and the only way for your side to have a chance is for you to do this.

Changbin sighs at your lack of response. “Even if you’re willing. I’m not the one you should be saying that to.”

“Then take me to the field tomorrow for someone else to do it.”

“You’re not even discharged,” he scoffs.

“It doesn’t matter how I’m feeling for someone to bite me. Every second counts right now; we’re averaging a casualty an hour. We need someone who can stand a chance against those Soul Vampires to bite someone. Another vampire, namely.”

He continues analyzing you and breaking down the stereotypes he had of you. As much as he admires your courage, however, he had made a promise to keep you safe.

“I can’t,” he refuses.

“Why not? I can transform into a cat so my weight won’t strain your legs.”

“It’s not that. You’re willingness is admirable, I admit, but I’ve promised to keep you out of harm.”

“To whom?”

He gives you a look. You both know to whom.

“Then take me to him; I’ll get him to agree to let me be bit. You and I both know volunteers like me is the only way we can win this. There hasn’t been a vampire death yet, but I can’t imagine it’ll be long before there is one. We don’t know who it’ll be; it might even be him. What use will your promise be to a… well, a dead man?”

Changbin closes his eyes to give your words more weight. When he opens them again, his decision is clear. “Why wait until tomorrow then?

You thought your nose has gone blind to the metallic scent of blood in the hospital, but the smell is all the more sharp and pungent on the field. Bodies lay forgotten against trees or covered in dirt, strengthening your conviction more than ever.

You can’t tell if Jisung is furious or delighted. He asked Changbin to leave the two of you alone in the temporary military tent with ice in his voice but grips and regrips your arms while holding you fast in a hug as soon as the older male left.

“Y/N,” he mumbles, “why are you here? Are you all better now? When did you wake up? When did they discharge you? Did they treat you well? Did Changbin-hyung treat you well?”

“Jisung, I can’t breath,” you say while patting his back.

“Ah, sorry.” He lets you go but keeps his hands on your shoulders.

You offer him the best smile you can muster. “I’m fine.”

He sighs and smiles in relief. “So what are you doing here? They sent all the witches to unit 3.”

“Actually, I’m not here on orders; Changbin snuck me out.”

“What? That hyung, I’ll--”

You grab his wrist as he turns to find his victim. “Wait! I was the one who asked him to do it. I have something to ask of you.”

He looks back at you, giving you his full attention.

“Bite me.”

“What? No!”

“One of the vampires have to do it-- it’s the only way we can win-- and… and I rather it’d be you.”

“Do you know what that means? People have died from it! I’m not doing that to you.”

“I know what the process encompasses; I still think it’s the better option. I mean, look at what’s happening outside! We’re evidently losing; this is the only way.”

“No, I’m not doing it, and neither is anyone else. I’m going to ask the field medic to look after you. Then you’re going to unit 3.”

“Jisung--” you grab at his wrist again but miss and instead grab his sleeve. The fabric slips off his shoulder too easily, as if he doesn’t want it there, and reveal a near-fatal gash. It’s enough to make you wonder how he is even still conscious.

“Jisung,” you breath again, this time for a completely different reason.

He carefully pulls his shirt back on, careful not to agitate the wound, while staring at the ground.

“Jisung,” You whisper softer this time. “This can heal you. You won’t get hurt again and you can save everyone.”

“I know,” he replies, voice cracking. “But I can’t do this to you… You’re you… You’re… you’re… Do you know how I’d feel if I killed you?”

“And do you know how I would feel if you died out there while I stood here doing nothing?” you return gently. “You won’t kill me Jisung. Just take enough to not die yourself, okay?”

You slip his shirt off again to prove your point while brushing your hair to the side. Tears run down Jisung's face as your scent begins to overwhelm him, especially when you break the skin of your finger with your teeth and smear the blood over your neck. He leans forward, basically sobbing now, but stops.

You look at him questioningly. He fumbles with something around his neck and rips it off.

"Here. Make sure to tell me when to stop."

He slides his Soul Stone ring into your finger then bites.

It hurts. It isn't as romantic or sexy as movies depict. Being bitten by a vampire is nothing but pain. The both of you are crying in different but shared aches, and you feel your knees give out. Jisung holds you up to his teeth still even though your body wants to be as far from him as possible.

The ring burns against your finger, beckoning you to use it, but you will yourself to wait until the last moment. You want him to take what he needs, even as the world begins to blacken. You can see his wound closing rapidly and you focus on that. Then, as your vision finally wanes out, you mumble, "Jisung…"

But his fangs were already out of you moments before you said anything. Your blood was getting harder and harder to drink, and he wants nothing more than for him to drink harder and harder in return, but something stronger caused him to stop.

Something much stronger.

And so, he retracts himself instead and buries his head in your limp body, soaking it with tears.

By the time you come to again, the battle is already almost over. More vampires decided to follow Jisung’s lead and consensually bit others, leading to only one death from the process. What also helped your side was Jeongin and Bang Chan taking your solution and pouring it over the soul vampires, rendering the silver they held useless.

In just two days, you are able to stand by the front gate of your school, waiting to welcome your classmates home. The first person you see is none other than your best friend who runs over to you and swings you around.

“Y/N! We did it! We won!”

You share his excitement and pull him into a quick, tight hug.

The moment comes to an end when you release him. Hyunjin’s face is etched with worry as he runs his thumb over the gauze on your neck.

“I’m fine, Hyunjin,” you reassure him while gently pulling his wrist away from you.

“He bit you…”

“I asked him to.”

Hyunjin frowns harder. “Why?” But he isn’t really asking.

“Y/N.”

You both turn towards the voice and see Jisung with a goofy grin on his face. He pulls you in a hug as well which makes a warm smile stretch across your face. He then leans back a little to see your face and brush your hair from it.

“You’re awake,” he breathes.

You nod. “For two days now.”

Hyunjin watches the two of you interact with a pang in his heart. He doesn’t miss the green ring around your finger which you try to take off and return to its owner.

“No, keep it,” urges Jisung.

“It’s your Soul Stone though,” you protest. “This is like giving me your everything!”

“You’ve already stolen my everything.” He chuckles at the double meaning of his words which makes your breath hitch. “Y/N, I’m in love with you; will you be my girlfriend?”

Something in your stomach makes you look towards Hyunjin, but he has turned away from your conversation and is intensely studying a tree. You see Changbin walking over and giving the wolf a rub on the shoulder and you a reassuring nod.

You turn back to Jisung. “Yes.”

~ ad.gold

#vampsung #vampire jisung #han jisung #skz #stray kids #werewolf hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #jisung #vampire changbin #changbin #vampire bang chan #vampire chan #bang chan #witch reader #vampire au #han #20190901

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snkpolls · 5 years ago

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SnK Chapter 123 Poll Results

The chapter 123 poll closed with 1,732 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

This month’s poll team: alooulla, @attraversiamo19, @erensjaegerbombs @momtaku, _Puppet_ , @reikukaja, @shifter-lines

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,732 Responses

This chapter was down slightly from the previous two but it hardly matters considering ¾ of the fandom have given it the highest possible rating. The manga continues to excite and impress month after month and it shows.

The end has come…

I'm both excited and horrified. I'm still hoping for another twist!

"Eren has a secret plan that doesnt involve genocide" And other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself!

I loved the flashbacks. It was the calm before the storm and we saw the 104th happy for one last time. 💔

Am I allowed to ground my 19 year old fictional adopted son

Amazing and beautifully drawn. I can’t wait for the next chapter

Genocide - Xenocide - Mass Murder - the friggin' APOCALYPSE -- whatever you want to call it, it's not the answer! Unless you're a god. And you know? I'm starting to think Eren is beyond our human judgment.

At first I was disappointed, I couldn’t believe that Eren would choose such a path especially since you have to consider just how much he values life and believes everyone deserves a chance ‘because they were born into this world’. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that there was simply no other way.

The world: we shall banish this devils on that island Eren: NO U

I loved everything about this chapter. It had great humor, drama, violence, bombastic imagery...everything that I love about SNK

Gotta give Isayama the credit, he really put effort and thought in all of this.

I'm having withdrawals already, where's the next chapter?????

cow car cow car cow car cow car cow car

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,772 Responses

In a chapter filled with sweet flashback moments, it was “Eren’s declaration of intentions through Paths” that snagged nearly ⅓ of the vote. “Eren and Mikasa’s intimate late night conversation” (17.8%) and “The 104th throwing one last party” (13%) rounded out the top three.

I feel overwhelmed. It was bittersweet. I enjoyed reading the chapter from Mikasa's POV, plus her moments with Eren, Levi and the clown, Hanji saying "Hello car!", Sasha eating... I'M NOT CRYING AT ALL.

Eren Jaeger is best boy <3

Call me biased, I love wholesome moments so much, and we FINALLY see Levi and Hange after EIGHT whole months

Mikasa eating ice cream is the most adorable thing ever

Levi in a suit made me cry, scream, and nut all at once. I was left confused with emotions for an hour on my bed, nearly comatose at 1:30pm. By the time I realized what had happened, I looked at my phone again and saw the screenshots I took and started hyperventilating so hard I was drooling. It was great. 11/10, would do it again.

I really enjoyed the 104th getting drunk together, and it was so... Sad to see Armin ramble at Mikasa whilst she looks at him with uncertainty as he desperately tries to convince himself that Eren is on their side. Also, the moments with the car and Levi with the clown are genuinely hysterical.

Would be die from cuteness overload watching Mikasa eating ice cream!

WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP? 1,778 Responses

Three characters dominated this question’s responses, leaving the rest relegated to a small portion of the graph. Where have we heard that before?

43.5% of you thought Eren was the MVP of this chapter, while nearly 31% thought it was Mikasa. At a somewhat distant third, Levi is in at just shy of 18%.I can’t be sure why this distribution is the way it is, but my guess is because saving immigrant children is really in season right now, but not nearly as much as genocide.

Eren is a GOAT!!!

OMG! Levi how I've missed you.

MIKASA'S NARRATION AND ACTUAL AGENCY. GIMME MORE!

WHAT WAS THE FUNNIEST COMMENT ABOUT THE CAR? 1,761 Responses

Poll worker #8 here. I haven’t read the rest of the results yet, but I’d guess the lighthearted nature of this question is going to be sorely needed given some of the other content in this chapter.

Onyankopon’s realization that the Paradisians really are just Like That™ got first place in this question, being voted for by a solid 40.9% of respondents. Hange’s “Hello, car!” secured second place with 23.7% of the vote, and Levi, who knows that the gang is Like That™, got third place with a clean 19% for his prediction.

AFTER LAST MONTH’S CLIFFHANGER, WE IMMEDIATELY JUMP TO FLASHBACKS! WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE SHIFT? 1,753 Responses

More than two-thirds of respondents really enjoyed the flashbacks juxtaposed with last month’s cliffhanger. 17% of you liked them, but would’ve preferred that this chapter start in the present, and 9.7% were glad they were there, but thought that they took up too many pages.

The flashback in general might not have been necessary but it was very much appreciated for once. It took me back to the comedy panels Isayama used to scatter in other arcs. It may also serve the purpose of making us remember how much we love these characters before they kill them all in front of us because Yams is sadistic like that and there is no way he won't enjoy our tragic tears. Love him though.

I didn't mind the flashbacks coz it was so nice to see characters like Sasha, Levi and Hange again :'(

I honestly thought the flashback was important, it showed when and why Eren was changing, to later show us what it had led to. I feel like more flashbacks are important before we truly dwell into the rumbling fully.

I really appreciated the flashbacks, the chapter overall was amazing.

MIKASA WONDERS IF EREN’S EVER REALLY CHANGED, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 1,761 Responses

The air around how Eren is viewed has changed immensely since chapter 1, but has he? The large majority at 77.3% feel he’s developed, but is still the same core person. 12% think he’s a completely different person, and 8.5% don’t believe he’s ever changed one bit in essence.

Eren doesn't really change, all he did was to focus his grudge on the people outside the walls after he knew the truth about the titans and I believe that Mikasa never knew Eren, properly.

He is the same as he ever was, what changed was our perception of him.

He's experienced more of life and developed his perspective under ever-changing circumstances, as we all do, but his core principles appear to have been the same since the day he was born - freedom is his right, and he will have it by any means necessary.

Eren will fight others for what he sees as freedom. Unfortunate, since we can never truly be free of the limitations we place on each other simply by virtue of existing together, but then Eren has never been particularly thorough in thinking things through.

He has changed in the way of his mental state. He is no longer “just” Eren. He is more like his father than ever, and he’s probably having an identity crisis.

Everyone changes as they grow older, it's impossible not to. Especially given that Eren also has the Memories of multiple persons. He even states so in his conversation with Reiner that he now understands them. So he did change, that not the question. But his will the live a life in freedom and destroying whoever tries to take this away from his, this didn't change at all.

He always had the potential to become who he is now, but he was not always a monster. he used to be a fundamentally good person with a dark side. he felt compassion towards innocents and regret/remorse over their deaths. now he locked that compassion away and let that dark side overwhelm him. he is broken.

His ideals are the same but they've amplified dangerously

There’s two sides to Eren. His good side never changed, but his potential for darkness has deepened.

It's sad that his idea of saving what he thought was all of humanity turned out to really only be an idea of saving Paradis. At the start of the series, it gave him an empathetic nature. Now, he's rather cold.

He has changed since the moment he touched Historia's hand and saw that 「THAT SCENERY」

WHAT DO YOU INTERPRET BY EREN BEING "SPACED OUT", AS ARMIN PUTS IT? 1,729 Responses

Eren was acting rather odd this chapter, and while Armin picked up on it he didn’t seem to know why. We have a pretty even split, with 47.3% thinking he’s having second thoughts about going through with a plan that would put these civilians in harm; meanwhile 45.5% believe he already knows they’re going to die. 3.3% think he’s just in awe of the new people and technology.

A mix of all the above

He is seeing his future memories and want's to see for himself whether or not they are the real truth, and the more he sees the more he comes to find out it's exactly as his memories have guided him

He sees the technology and the people and wonders how humans can treat each other in such horrible ways.

Being consumed but all the past Attack on Titans while experimenting things first time himself. Kind of like a deja-vu.

Both indecision and sadness as well as general depression due to his experiences and having to come to terms with what he sees as the only solution.

Coming to terms with the reality of the outside world, and Paradis' place in this world

General sadness and indecision. He’s seen all this before in memories and I think he’s just broken-hearted

He's searching for any reason not to go through with the plans he's already forming, but at every turn he just sees more that enforces his path (the mistreatment of Eldian refugees, the outreach commission that just wants to use Paradise as a scapegoat). He's spaced out because he isn't looking at little things like ice cream or cars like the rest of them, but instead trying to find any last spark of hope.

Realizing that this place is filled with many people and useful technology but he has to do the plan that will harm everything outside the walls for his own kind

Eren spaced out because he realized how much harm he'll put on his friends but he has no choice but to do it.

He feels nothing because he is a psychopath

Yum, tasty human rumbling patties

WHAT DID EREN MEAN WHEN, AFTER SHEDDING A TEAR, HE SAID NOTHING HAS HAPPENED TO THE BOY FROM THE MARKET YET? 1,751 Responses

After acting strange upon arriving in Marley, Eren’s seen crying for seemingly no reason over the boy they met. 44.2% believe he’s seen the boy die in the rumbling, 35.4% believe that Eren knows it’s a cruel world this boy has to live in and is fearful of his future, and 18% think Eren knows something else terrible will happen to him.

When I saw that tear running down Eren's cheek, I suddenly felt so emotional that I cried too.

I certainly enjoy the vagueness of character moments such as these. Before I state my interpretation of the scene, I don't think eren knows the boy's fate like an omniscient being. He can only assume the future he saw when touching Hisu's hand is the cruel fate that will snuff the life out of this poor child. I'd say all of the above, minus the "He saw" bit.

He already had the intention of killing every non eldian and has an internal conflict because of this

He already knows he rumbled the world from Grisha's memory so I think he's mourning for every innocents that died bc of that.

He didn’t see the boy specifically. He saw the rumbling. Connecting to the boy makes him sad cuz he probably won’t make it through the rumbling. That’s why he’ll talk to the boy Personally 1on1 (memory shard), something like “you have to do X when time comes to survive”.

He saw himself in the boy and remembered the day he lost his home and his mum.

He's reminding himself of the day everything was taken from him and where he's forced to live in a refugee camp. Also he'll need to boy to get in Fort Slava.

I think hearing all those people talk about how they'll punish the kid reminded him of Grisha's sister getting killed, and he believes its only a matter of time for the boy to receive a similar fate.

The boy and his family most likely will reject and hate Eren after finding out that he is an Eldian. Eren knows that they are good people and they don't deserve to die, but even them are going to push the Eldians away, that why peace between Eldians and humanity isn't possible in Eren's eyes.

The boy was just like him, a refugee. The difference is that the child wasn’t alone in the world, and was able to stay cheerful despite everything.

He knows he finna die in the rumbling

WHY DID EREN ASK MIKASA WHAT HE IS TO HER? 1,735 Responses

Some fantastic responses here. The majority of you seem to think Eren is seeking some form of reassurance; that he is a good person, and that he matters to her, but that the scene is not particularly framed as romantic, which as an answer only achieved third place. A number of responses focused on the fact that he might be testing if the Ackerbond is true; though it is debatable whether or not he knows of its existence at this point. Given his access to memories and Yelena’s presence on Paradis, it is not impossible that he does. At the core of the responses though, was the idea that he’s just a young man feeling guilty and seeking reassurance that he matters and is cared for.

He was testing to see if her response would be the same as how he saw it in his partial future vision.

He was questioning how free she was. Is her ties to him because of a debt owned from saving her? An obligation to family? Ackerman loyalty? He wants her love for him to be a genuine choice of hers - freedom.

He was trying to figure out whether or not the Ackerbond is true.

He's depressed and needs to know he matters

I think Eren was trying to find out if his friends love him for being "Eren", or if they simply stay by him because of loyalty. I think he was trying to find the strength to go through with the plan.

Let's break it down. The context of the situation is eren's sadness over the people he will have to kill especially the kids as he was watching the kid even eariler. now, eren is worried that mikasa's care for him is based on the belief that he's a good person who saves kids but it's not who he truly is, he has it in him to kill kids and he will. So is her care genuine if it's build upon an idealized image she has of him? He asks because he has to know and he asks and he asks again and it takes this many attempts to get mikasa to say her answer slowly. I think isayama wanted to create the impression that mikasa had a different answer in mind(that she's in love with him) then the one she gave and eren could see that so he took it to mean that " family" wasn't wholehearted. He didn't find the confidence he looked for, that her familal love was why she cared for him and not her misplaced loyalty to a saint. He had a shred of doubt that he will take to his meeting with zeke who will tell him about the ackerbond

Maybe he wanted to hear that he is just Eren and not the savior of Paradis Island or some sort of devil.

DO YOU THINK THE SCENE BETWEEN EREN AND MIKASA WAS FRAMED AS ROMANTIC? 1,761 Responses

Now this scene was very interesting. 47% of you think the scene was ‘somewhat’ romantic; that it had romantic elements to it, that it was romantic on Mikasa’s part but not Eren’s, or some other reason, but was not clear cut enough to be deemed a true romantic scene. Nonetheless, ‘yes’ was on a respectable 35% whilst ‘no’ trailed at 17%. The idea that Eren had seen this moment before and was hoping for a different answer as part of some test of whether or not the future could be changed was a common response, as in the previous question.

He loves Mikasa, thus he wants to know if Mikasa eventually feels the same, so he could have a reason not to destroy the whole world

He doesn't understand Mikasa's attachment to him

Eren has romantic feelings to Mikasa and most likely knows about her feelings to him. He was looking for a reason to change his path and start a family instead of crushing the world. The same was with Grisha, who gave up on his plan and decided to live a peaceful life with his family.

Confirm that the memories are true and to see if His future and fate with Mikasa and their relationship was already decided.

He saw this moment and hoped that Mikasa would answer differently - to see that the future isn't set in stone.

He wanted to know someone was there for him. I feel like once Eren changed he saw the true colors of the people around him and emailed that no one truly understood how he was feeling or tried to get him to talk his feelings out. I honestly don’t think that Eren likes Mikasa like that and I don’t think Mikasa knows Eren as much as she thinks she does.

He wanted to see if the future he saw was preordained. Mikasa answering that and the squad arriving with "perfect timing" made him realize it was, indeed, inevitable.

He was trying to make up his mind if either Mikasa was bound to him because of her Ackerman blood or if she had authentic feelings for him.

he was worried or afraid that he stole Mikasa's freedom

WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE 104TH DRINKING TOGETHER? 1,745 Responses

In a series like this, a happy and peaceful moment like the 104th passing out together after a night spent drinking was sincerely appreciated. ~980 out of 1,745 of you said that was your favorite part of the drinking scene. 15% liked the part where Yung Fez crashed into Eren best, while 13.6% of you preferred the part where Sasha encouraged underaged drinking, and 8.4% preferred Connie and Jean’s late night resupply trip.

WHO WAS THE MOST WHOLESOME IN THE PASSED OUT SCENE? 1,753 Responses

Here we have a question with no wrong answer! Most of you seem to agree that the scene in its entirety was pretty wholesome and relaxed, something we have been missing for quite a while. That said, we did force you to pick your favourite parts, and Mikasa sleeping whilst resting against Eren won, with Eren surrounded by his friends a close second. A fitting result, for a chapter focused so much on them.

I love the wholesome flashbacks!!! like ugh yes my children deserve 2 be happy :(

Can I join the 104th getting drunk please?!

Drunk 104th squad, best squad.

I feel like the wholesomeness of the drunk shenanigans is a terrifying indication that something awful is about to happen. We needed the other flashbacks but that wasn’t necessary. It seems significant somehow.

I really enjoyed the 104th getting drunk together

WHY DO YOU THINK EREN LEFT WHEN HE DID? 1,733 Responses

Eren quietly left after one last night of partying with his friends, but why then? 60.9% say he left immediately following the man at the podium speaking due to it signifying to him peace wasn’t a plausible option. 32.3% think he had been planning to leave at that specific time for a while no matter what; and 4.6% say his conversation with Mikasa lead to him choosing to leave the next day.

Either the man's words led him to believe peace was impossible or he's a slave to the predetermined future he's seen.

He became disheartened and made up his mind to carry his own plan

He knew less people would notice and nobody could follow him so by the time they decided to chase him he'd be safe

He got some insight from the man on the podium on how they view Paradis, I felt like he left to truly confirm that this was their belief and peace wasn't an option. Hence why during the marly arc it was said that Eren vanished and lived in Marley for a while before attacking during the festival. + he was following the flow of his vision.

He had further proof for why the future that he saw couldn’t be stopped anymore.

Hearing the terrible speech from someone who they hoped would support him confirmed Eren’s suspicions that the world really is their enemy.

His plan to leave had been forming for some time. He was willing to try and search for some of these non-violent solutions the others were aimed for, but watching that speech just confirmed to him that there were no peaceful solutions for the Eldians of Paradise. Even the people most sympathetic to Eldians in general, still wanted to lay waste to the Paradise Eldians. Eren does care about his friends, and to him, this is the only way to go forward that ensures they will be safe.

He had it all planned and was looking for a reason not to do it, but didn't find any :(

That activist's words were just the cherry on top confirmation that peace was near impossible.

The Eren of the future made him decide to go

DO YOU THINK MIKASA’S ANSWER TO EREN HAD ANY EFFECT ON HIS ACTIONS? 1,749 Responses

Mikasa regrets what she said to Eren and blames herself for his actions, is she right? 63.5% agree it could have changed something, but never his end goal. 22.6% don’t think it had any bearing on Eren’s actions or goal, and 11.9% believe he would have changed his path completely upon a different response.

Absolutely unsure. It might have made a difference, maybe not. In the end, it's the question if one can change the future they have seen thanks to the Attack Titan, I guess. Or if it's inevitable as Eren said.

Communication with her and his friends as a whole could've possibly changed things

I think that’s exactly what Eren needed to hear. He refuses to lose anymore family. It reaffirmed him.

If mikasa had said anything different than what she said, it would confirm that the future he saw was not definite. That the world would not be ending. That there was a different way. And he could have taken that path.

He might’ve not done what he did in 112 to Mikasa. A fight could’ve been avoided.

I think Eren would've most certainly stayed with his family (yes I call them family) and changed his plan to align with what Mikasa and Armin favor at the moment, simply crushing the allied forces with the rumbling rather than crushing all of Planet Earth.

He was only trying to convince himself Mikasa was not taking care of him only because her Ackerman blood

It might not have changed his plan completely, but I believe it would have mattered in some way. Perhaps he subconsciously wanted her to talk him out of it.

I think he already knew the answer she was going to give, and by asking only confirmed what he knew. If she would have confessed it would have thrown Eren off for a moment only for him to stick to his plan no matter the cost.

It just affected his mood, not his decisions.

We honestly couldn't possibly know, and I think that is the beauty and the point of the entire scene.

I have no clue but I must scream AAAAA

We'll never know. And I think that's the point.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF EREN’S TITAN FORMING? 1,760 Responses

Despite the unusual shape and size of Eren’s final titan form, only 5% expressed that they where not a fan of it. The remaining 95% of the fandom was impressed with “WOAH” (42%) being the word that best sums things up

Bruh he can't even move in that form

Bridge titan

His titan is a homage to Godzilla, which was a homage to nuclear weapons so things have really come full circle

I think it just looks cool

I think he'll be over 500 meters. He'll be gigantic. The devil that oversees the destruction of the world. Godzilla Titan. It'll make the size of the Wallossals look like regular pure titans compared to the colossus.

It's a monstrous form to emphasise his monstrous actions.

Maybe it's a literal manifestation of activating the founder's powers from Ymir, but it can be symbolic of him being "unstoppable" at this point.

Renewed rotisserie chicken titan with SPIKES

This is pure conjecture but I think the titan is immobile. The limbs are tiny and if the ribs aren't imbedded in the ground they'll certainly cause a lot of friction. Also, it it very cage-like, and like the houses of Shiganshina it looks like the Colossus Titans are avoiding it. So.., perhaps people will be able to hide out inside it?

What if the two “spine flaps” develop into wings?

DO YOU THINK THE SIZE AND/OR SHAPE OF EREN’S TITAN WILL BE IMPORTANT? 1,740 Responses

The general consensus is that Eren’s 15117 meter titan is going to have some unique significance. ~20% don’t think it will, and the rest have varying thoughts. Let’s take a look at them:

I figure it had something to with the founding titan power since we saw something similar with Rod when turned into a titan but, other than that I'm not sure

I think it is just a sign that brute force it will not effective to defeat him. That there is another way to stop him.

I think it’s the original form of the centispine

Chekhov’s plane

"size and shape of Eren's TITAN"? I like you very much poll people 😂

It will resemble the size of Yimr’s Founding Titan

It'd be very funny if he just...couldn't move.

No one engages thicc mode for no reason

Somewhat. Seems like the size would make it not be able to move, but it seems like a central node of sorts.

THE WALL TITANS ARE ABLE TO TURN AROUND, AND THEY’RE COMING FROM WALL MARIA TOO! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE START OF WHAT APPEARS TO BE A RUMBLING? 1,743 Responses

The fandom was unswayed by speculation about the titans position in the walls and all the things that could go wrong, so it was time for bragging rights. “I knew Eren would have control of them” was the most popular answer (37.5%).

Curiosity about the rest of Paradis was secondary. “I hope we get to see the status of the other walls” (31.8%) and “They’re causing so much destruction to Paradis” (28.2%) were in the second and third spots. The write-ins were filled with questions about swimming titans. In retrospect, we should’ve had that as an option.

Can those Titans really travel across the ocean? They're big and all, but can they grasp the necessary movements to go through water? They were put in place to destroy THE ISLAND, after all. How slow would they be at that? Rumbling sounds dramatic but there's still plenty of time before shit starts to go down in other nations

Eren seems to be trying to minimize as much damage to Paradis as you can see how the colossal titans are walking organized in a single-file line.

I don't care I'm just worried about the Blouse family!

I hope wall Rose & Sina are ok. If not, then are favs families are in danger.

I knew Eren was going all out on this, meaning making all the walls collapse and this scene was just awe-inspiring and terrifying, holly hell

I hate this, is that an acceptable answer?

I wish we would’ve gotten to see more of it.

I'm worried about everyone, even the people from Paradis. I trust Eren's powers but I don't think it's the right choice. I have hopes that his plan turns out bigger than this.

This is a perfect excuse to see the northern district

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF EREN SPEAKING TO ALL ELDIANS THROUGH PATHS? 1,741 Responses

The numbers are in, and JUST shy of 90% of you thought it was really cool to see Eren use PATHS FM to talk to every single Eldian. A few others don’t love the prominence of the P A T H S. Let’s look at a few other thoughts:

A mix of the two. Loved it, incredible dramatic effect, but what the actual fuck PATHS can't do anymore

Awesome. It's important to the plan that Eldians on the mainland heard his message too.

Chilling. Oh my god, the king is speaking.

Fucking awesome and Annie 100% heard him talking

Hahaha what the sweet fucc

@everyone

It feels weird the way he announced it... something’s up.

Tell everyone he knows his true intentions. Or makes someone make a choice based on what he's planned, which is the real outcome hes seen.

Very Interesting. Annie will likely hear and not be too thrilled.

WHAT IS YOUR PRIMARY THOUGHT ABOUT EREN’S MONOLOGUE? 1,751 Responses

The snk fandom? Divided on Eren’s actions? Who could have predicted this!? 31.2% of respondents said that, above all else, they were primarily glad to see Eren’s thoughts and plans finally revealed. Trailing close behind, like Shia Lebeauf, 31% said that Eren’s monologue will go down as one of the greatest speeches in anime/manga history.

23.2% were disturbed that Eren’s plan was about killing billions of people. 11.1% of voters were just Connie Springer on 190 computers, saying, “It didn’t seem like Eren. It gives me hope that this isn’t his true plan.”

You’ll notice that there’s a seemingly missing part of the graph. Nothing is actually missing there, that’s just like, sixty different 1 vote responses. Three cheers for technological limitations!

Both awed and disturbed

Epic, not quite as epic as Erwin's speech from The Nameless Soldiers, but the artwork and transitions between real world and path world were amazing and really added a lot.

He's making himself into an enemy that the world will unite to defeat.

I am sad to see the decision he took. I do understand his motives and I also feel like there's no other way, the cycle of war and hatred would continue until one of the two people is exterminated. Let's not forget that Marley and other nations want to exterminate the eldians. In a sense, he's trying to protect his people, it's a sort of self defense. That's not to say it's the best way.

I don’t necessarily believe it since his flashback/pov is not even shown yet.

Well yeah, I'm in to what I think he's planning

well, it's clear that Eren will be the final antagonist.

Yuuki Kaiji's going to snatch all of us when this hits the anime

EVERY EREN IS HOT. TRUE OR FALSE? 1,772 Responses

Dedication to Eren in all his forms is clearly evident as 52.9% classify Eren’s nightmarish final titan form as hot.

I hope Eren’s face doesn’t stay that messed up

Eren is a chad and needs more shirtless panels.

Eren's face looks like an Oni mask in the last panel

DO YOU THINK MIKASA BEING PRESENT IN THE PATHS DIMENSION DECIDES THAT SHE HAS ELDIAN BLOOD, ONCE AND FOR ALL? 1,742 Responses

We thought this was an important question to ask, as many fans are confused as to the exact nature of Mikasa’s heritage and blood. Therefore, a lot of the responses we got were from fans who thought it was obvious she had Eldian blood; despite this, the majority of you still think she cannot turn into a titan, perhaps because the Ackerman genome prevents it. Nonetheless, a small number of fans also seem to think she has no Eldian blood at all, and is only in the paths dimension due to touching Armin.

Ackerman is said to be sub product of titan experiment. It is possible that Eldian Empire injected Titan Shifter's spinal fluid to non eldian, including Ackerman. They have maybe little DNA of Eldian that related to Titan transformation.

Ackermans are titan experients that use the paths ... so Im not surprised she is there ... I dont think that necessarily means she can turn into a titan

Don't Ackermans have access to PATHS as well, even though they don't have Eldian blood? Or do they have a separate PATHS dimension? I think Levi's on the brink of death situation will answer this

Hasn't it been clear for a long time that she has Eldian blood?

I always thought the Ackermans were of Eldian blood.

I didn't even knew there was doubt

No, she touched Armin

No, she's there because she's touching Armin

She always was eldian you dolts lol

DO YOU THINK EREN TRULY INTENDS TO DESTROY THE WORLD, OR DO YOU THINK HE’S BLUFFING? 1,755 Responses

What’s the expression, “Nothing new under the sun?” Eren’s been talking about destroying the entire world since Season 1, and nearly 60% (58.2, technically) of you guys think he’s actually about to do it. Just over a third (33.9%) of you think he’s totally bluffing, and if I can do math at at least a third grade level, that leaves 7.9% of you guys unsure about whether or not he’s telling the truth.

IF YOU BELIEVE HE’S BEING HONEST ABOUT HIS INTENTIONS, DO YOU THINK THAT HE WILL BE STOPPED? 1,705 Responses

Regardless of how we view the full rumbling, 60% of the fandom think he’ll be stopped one way or another. Armin and Mikasa stopping the genocide was the top answer (37.8%) followed by the Survey Corps (7.1%). Zeke saving his little brother (3%) narrowly edged out the Warriors (2.5%). As always, we had plenty of write ins.

Survey Corps x Warriors team up to stop the mad lad himself

All mentioned groups will finally work together to stop him

All of these options are possible, and I'm scared.

Armin and Reiner will probably be the ones to stop him.

Armin Arlert, Reiner (Helos) Braun, and Annie will team up to stop him. titan Reiner will ride on titan Armin's shoulders and blend into the colossal crowd, until they get close enough to stop Eren. Then Annie, awaken by the total rumbling, will use her scream to cause the collosals to consume each other. the end

Armin or Mikasa will have to kill him

At this point, i believe that Zeke, The Warriors and probably someone from the old gang will join to stop him.

Both sides like the paradise/survey corps and Marley/the warriors/rest of the world will work the together as one to take down one powerful enemy, it’s eren Yeager and his army of wall Titans that will destroy the outside lands

Eren said when Armin was dying that Armin would be the one to save the world. Maybe it's something he saw from the future.

Everyone else except Zeke and a few others (like Yelena and Floch) will be involved in stopping him as well as making sure Zeke doesn't get his will either

He won't stop out of his own free will, but something might go wrong and the rumbling will get interrupted before the whole world is gone.

I don't think he will be (or even could be) stopped, but I believe the SC and the warriors will still try to stop him

Yes, every nation in the world + Paradis will gang up in a Great Alliance

I hope he can be stopped somehow but I don’t know how. Poor Ymir might have to make another awful sacrifice. Ugh. Or historia.

I think he will be stopped. I think he WANTS to be stopped. But I'm not sure by who and how

Reiner will stop him, at the cost of both of their lives

I'd like to choose the first option but I don't think A-M will succeed only with 'talks'. I believe they'll be forced to do 'something more' than it.

No "Team Effort" answer?

Ymir will stop him

IF EREN IS NOT BLUFFING, DO YOU BELIEVE THAT HIS ACTIONS ARE JUSTIFIED? 1,759 Responses

Eren’s seemingly finally revealed his plan, and it’s drastic. But is it justified? We got an incredibly close split, showing just how divisive Eren’s actions are, but also that there’s a lot of support on both sides. By a hair, at 50.4%, the fandom is overall condemning of Eren, while the other half at 49.6% can see where he’s coming from.

This chapter made me to understand Eren better. I found that he hasn't changed and he is really in pain. Eren didn't turn into a cruel monster who hates his friends. He is full of pain because he believes that his fate is about killing a lot of innocent people. He was trying to avoid it as much as he could but for some reason the vision of the future was always right. I believe that Eren isn't free but is a big slave of his own beliefs. He is sure that he cannot change anything. Yet he forgot that his freedom is about his decisions and actions he takes.

There is no such thing as self-defense genocide, as much part of the fandom wants to force it to be neither is ever justifiable

There is more to Eren's plan. Perhaps it's a bluff? Or a warning/threat? It will go much deeper than What It appears now.

Opens a lot of interpretations, which I am not a fan of. Eren still has not proven himself to be a villain or a hero. Will have to wait

We need a way to put Eren down. He’s already disposed of Zeke’s plan, now he’s calling out for help. He’s taunting every Eldian via paths to try and stop him, to please stop him. Armin has been foreshadowed as the one to save humanity, and I think now he will live up to it to protect the ones he loves.

I don´t understand how you could justify Eren´s doings. To save his homeland, to protect his family is not enough to justify this genocide. I hardly sympathize with him, and killing each and everyone of his enemies is not the right solution.

The chapter was great but seriously ppl who are trying to justify eren's plan and motives just need to calm the fuck down

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DO YOU THINK THAT EREN IS THE VILLAIN IN THIS STORY? 1,769 Responses

Token Eren supporter here. This graph speaks for itself, so instead of rattling off numbers at you guys for like, the fifteenth time this post, here are some fun, relevant facts:

You can’t spell slaughter without laughter!

There are an estimated 12 times more trees on the planet than there are stars in the galaxy. That’s a LOT of places to check for a centispine.

Eren Jaeger did nothing wrong

Those are some neat facts! That’s probably because I’m a genius and I’m way smarter than everyone, because I support Eren Jaeger. Now before you REEEEE in the comments, here are the thoughts of the unwashed masses:

At this point, I see Eren is a example of 'You either die a hero or live long enough to you see yourself as the villian' and somewhat of anti-Villain.

Eren is not *the* villain, but he is *a* villain. SNK has always emphasised multiple points of view. There will never be The Villain.

WHICH STATEMENT MOST CLOSELY MATCHES YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT EREN’S PLAN? 1,749 Responses

Thoughts on Eren’s plan are very interesting to look at, so let’s look at these numbers on the graph in another way. While the majority, at 57.8% agree that Eren’s plan is the best route, they admit it’s cruel. So while this number outshines the total 34.9% that don’t side with him, both groups of not siding with him outshine the 7.3% that gave Eren’s plan the best moral ranking you could out of the options.

Even I, eternally wary of Eren and all extremist characters in general, was surprised that his plan was unlimited destruction rather than offensive attacks until capitulation. The wholesale destruction of every living being without actually knowing whether they personally hate and fear Paradis is vicious and fearful beyond what I expected from him.

Eren is a great MC for his grey areas so I don't like people reducing him to just evil when it's clear that it's his desperation and love for the Eldians what led him to this. I hope when the anime comes the public will see the bigger scheme and not just hear the words of a "genocidal" because that isn't Isayama's intention at all.

Eren did nothing wrong! But seriously I question if there was really another way since the ones ruling the rest of the world are determined to end paradisians if not all eldians. Eren being able to see glimpses of the future is a curse which drained him and ultimately he wished for things to be different but the world would not allow that.

It upset me because genocide and I want to think there’s another twist coming but I wouldn’t say it’s ooc if the spade is indeed a spade.

Already knew his plan is mass genocide. Now my only hope is for his friends to stop and defeat him.

I think the outcome of his plan will be really bad. Even though I understand his intentions and don't even think he's a villain at all, someone will have to stop him and "set him free" just like he did with Ymir. I think that we're gonna lose Eren forever and that makes me really heartbroken.

#ErenDidNothingWrong2k19

DO YOU THINK HISTORIA'S ALLEGIANCE IS WITH EREN? DO YOU THINK THEY'VE BEEN WORKING TOGETHER? 1,736 Responses

Historia is still a big question mark at this point, do you think she’s in line with Eren now that we know what he wants? A little less than ⅔, at 63.5% say yes they’re working together, whereas about ⅓, at 36.5% still aren’t convinced she’s aligned herself with him.

This is Eren moving his Chess piece. I’m excited to see Historia make her move. Then to see how the Warriors and rest of the world are going to counterattack.

I'd love to see Historia's POV sooner or later

Eren already made up his mind since he talked with Yelena and Historia before his depart.

What does Hisu think about all the kids who weren't lucky enough to be born within the walls being crushed to death? Is she still determined to rush out there and tell them that they should have been born? Because there are gonna be a loooot of kids who wish they weren't born if Eren succeeds.

I hope we'll soon get to see Historia & Annie.

WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,746 Responses

With the series winding to a close, we want it all and we want it now! While the Rumbling (27.2%), present day Levi and Hange (24.8%), and Historia (24.2%) are the top 3, requests for Annie have been up slightly with the last two chapters. The possibility of her being in the PATHS realm is strong. She was mentioned 21 times in the write-ins.

I just. Need Annie. For god's sake I can't go on reading snk without her I-

I want more rumbling and less flashbacks.

I hope to see Annie in the next one, that's all

The last question was unfair, there are so many thing I want to see next :D of course annie historia levi hange, as always. But I chose the eren-fez boy memory because it's the most relevant part now and I fear that if we don't see it now we'll never see it.

I want to see Annie and Hange/Levi AND rumbling AND more drunk 104th AND Historia and OMG pls show all in next 40 pages Yams thankx

Rumbling and Warriors! I want to see jean, reiner, and connie react to earth devil eren who is transforming in front of them. Mayne we'll see a reunion from jean/connie with their former brother figure Reiner. They'll work together.

i WANT TO SEE THE RUMBLING GOING FULL FORCE WITH NO HALF ASS STOP!!

I understand that flasbacks are very important, but I hope to see present-time action more

Less flashbacks, more rumble

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Levi anda hange come back in beg you

Why can't I pick all the options for the last question :(((

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,651 Responses

Reddit continues to dominate the discussion field, followed distantly by Tumblr. The mind absolutely boggles trying to understand why there could have been an exodus of Tumblr users that used to discuss the series there. I still remain thoroughly convinced that you four that voted snapchat either all know each other, or you’re all voting it for the meme. Nonetheless, unironically, jokes aside, in all seriousness, so there can be no doubt, genuinely, we appreciate poll takers from all platforms!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 366 Responses

Awesome!!! Cruel, but Awesome!!!

God I had missed Levi so much

AoT has been one heck of a villain origin story

STEP ON ME, DADDY EREN

AoT has been delivering amazing chapters non-stop, and I fucking love it

Just hope floch lives tbh

My heart is shattered because of Eren. I truly love him and don't him to suffer anymore. I don't want to see Mikasa and Armin suffering for him again (I will never recover from chapter 112. I literally cried my eyes out when I read it).

I believe in Eren even if I don't like the fact that he's ready to kill (as it seems) the rest of the world. We still need some more fb and the one we got was amazing. It was really moving. I can't wait to see what happens next

For the past year, the manga just continues peaking and peaking. Eren is the greatest character in the story and these last 5 chapters have each been contender for the greatest chapter.

Incredible, Isayama has nailed how to tie flashbacks into what's happening presently in the story. This is by far the darkest chapter yet... can't wait to see what's next.

Best chapter of the entire story in my opinion and possibly the best chapter of all manga.

I hope this doesn't go the Code Geass route.

Best. Chapter. Ever. It puts everything together. I can't wait to see the next chapters, especially Eren's POV, though I kinda think we might only be getting it in the very last chapter.

The logistic problems of getting the wall titans to the other nations alone is enough to make me question whether they'll ever make it before Eren is stopped. Literally how are they going to get across the ocean? Stick rafts (I mean we've seen Eren's titan build a stick house before so that would be quite fun to me actually)? I sincerely doubt Eren is going to Paths-transmit a frontcrawl swimming lesson to them, and if they just trundle across the ocean floor they're going to run out of energy since neither sunlight nor moonlight can penetrate to that depth. AND they're gonna crush every fucking thing between them and ocean on their way!! Those things are far too massive to manoeuvre themselves around Paradis civilians. I just...don't see how this can work even if we DON'T look at the moral implications!

Founding Titan is overpowered as fuck. I can't stop thinking about that panel from chapter 2, when Reiner says Eren is the worst person to have the founding titan. I guess he was right

I felt that it was odd for eren to declare his motive especially when he knows Eldians from Marley can here it as well, I felt that he had ulterior motives.

Who needs cell phones when you have Paths?

Although I knew it was coming, I feel disappointed that the series went this way. Worldwide destruction is cartoonishly evil so I had been hoping that my fears wouldn't be realized. If we had to have this, I would have rather at least followed Eren through the events and gotten his direct PoV, rather than having his PoV become the new mystery drawn out over the course of a few years' worth of chapters, just to end up with this easily-guessed endgame, and only getting brief flashbacks to make us understand how it got to this point. I'm really underwhelmed by this arc.

Didnt think he'd legit kill every human. Doesnt even make sense. He doesnt really know what people think outside of what he's seen/what Kiyomi says. Talk about being ignorant.

Honestly, this may be dumb of me but I was expecting something a bit more nuanced? And, maybe it is we'll have to see. I'm not disappointed, but i guess I'm not all that surprised either. I'm more like, 'huh. i see'

I don't buy that he really wants to annihilate everyone outside Paradis (think of fez kid and family!) so I'm mostly curious why he needs to tell a lie only Subjects of Ymir will hear.

@the question "is eren the villain". I answered no but he's definetely *a* villain in this story.

Before reading this chapter, I was expecting to see mass destruction and I thought I was gonna be really sad while reading it, but I really like how there was a flashback. I know after the cliffhanger from last chapter, I didn't want a change of perspective, but I was actually happy to see the squad together in Marley because I do miss them all together ...I also really loved Levi in the flashback. It was hilarious when the clown thought he was a kid and I loved how he saved that kid who pick-pocketed Sasha. Seeing him the flash back made me realize how much I missed him and I really hope he is alive the next time we see him because he deserves to survive the end.

Christ, Eren is scary. I really hope he doesn't succeed, his plan won't bring peace

Drunk 104th squad, is the best squad

ELDIA 4 EVER

EM SCENES WERE SO GOOD AND BITTERSWEET!

Eren is about to pull a Lelouch so much.

Eren is more like Light then Lelouch

Eren is risking everybody on Paradis since he destroyed the three walls. It's not like he gave a delay for everybody to hide behind Wall Sina and unleash destruction with Wall Rose and Maria. The battlefield happens to be lucky because the city is deserted and Shiganshina is the southermonst part of the walled section. But in the meantime Eren is terrorizing the entire population on the island and might even kill those in the way. He's not doing this for Eldian supremacy either since mainland Eldians fall under the scope of his attack. Hell even their allies, Hizuru, are on his target list.

Everything about this chapter is SAD, eren leave his beatiful life with his friends, make a big responsibility on his shoulder ALONE, His friends denying about his behaviour change, forced to see a horror scenery in his mind (from future or past memories), and so yeah i hope eren will be "saved" by someone dont make him a mass murderer because his decided future. Someone like mikasa and armin, please..

the artwork in this chapter was quite fantastic. Some really good panels, and the last double page was just phenomenal. 11/10 for the artwork.

Given Eren specified that the walls' hardening had been undone, I think we will not only see Annie return given her hardened crystal may shatter, but I think next chapter we will see the return of all of the characters we haven't seen for a while as they look onto the horizon to see what has begun

There have been many warning signs throughout the manga that Eren’s ultimate goals have always been extreme, extreme to the point of complete annihilation, starting with the desire of completely annihilating the titans and then everyone who isn’t a subject of Ymir.

I definitely liked that we get a flashback, showing our favorite characters together one last time before everything goes down. But I REALLY think it’s about time we get to see Levi & Hange, especially Annie again in the next chapter.

I don't understand how so many people in the fandom are shocked that Eren wants to destroy the world, it was pretty obvious for a while. Also I'm really disturbed how many of his rabid stans still defends him... I mean, c'mon, you can love him and understand his reasons, but justify him and rooting for him is just fucked up.

I enjoyed it overall, but i did not expect or like the fact that the flashback took around 70% of the chapter. Specially when the flashback itself does not provide any kind of new information that we did not see in other chapters, other than the fact of showing us the Paradise main cast being on Marley for the first time, wich i loved.

Nothing can justify genocide, but I understand and feel sorry for him. This whole chapter is about him crying out for help, trying to change the future events he’s already seen, hoping desperately that SOMETHING will go differently and that he won’t have to do what he has to. But the world of Attack On Titan is a cruel place and the conflict between Eldia and the rest of the world won’t go away until one of them is destroyed. Zeke chose the world, Eren chose his country, his people and his friends.

I like to think that Eren at his core really does only wish to save the people he loves and promised to protect and fight for, and that he doesn't really want genocide and will even soften up soon, even if he needs help to be snapped out of it first. I also like to think his whole being, mind and ideology and all got convoluted when mingled together with the wills and memories of so many other previous titan holders, and that not everything is his own genuine will or wish.

I really hope Eren's solution will mirror the 'miracle' that happened between Uri and Kenny back in Ch. 69. Uri asked whether it was violence that averted their path of mutual destruction, and while Kenny makes a snarky remark about how Uri grabbed Kenny with his titanized hand, I think there's some truth in that. Perhaps Eren will clutch the world with the wall titans and stop the rumbling just short? Though I can't see Eren going to his knees like Uri did, so this may just be wishful thinking. Guess we'll see next month.

I really love how Eren turned out although some might think him as a heartless person. But that scene with him silently shedding a tear shows that he still has emotions and feels empathy & sympathy towards others. He is still very clear of his goal and plan and his courage to do what he thinks it's right even though everyone has doubts towards him really shows his courage to always move forward no matter what. I don't think destroying the whole world was his true plan after all, it just seemed way too far fetched for me. I can't wait for the next chapter to reveal more of his intentions and plan.

I really love the chapter because it was wholesome and tragic at same time which the author is good at balancing bittersweet stuff to his work which I love and respect him for doing it

I think it is time to the Ackermans to shine in this final battle. They cannot be controled by the FT unlike the rest of the eldians (including Historia and Zeke). I bet my money to Mikasa to become the "reincarnation of Helos" and defeat Eren (with a tons of angst betwixt). Kill your beloved one? sound like another twisted and evil idea from Isayama to make us suffer, his readers.

I thought I'll say that but here I am. I believed there is enough good in Eren Yeager to fight for all people. I was wrong and that hurts. I'm totally suing him.

I thought Ymir would do the rumbling though. Ymir, please show yourself more!

I’m so sad.. I love you Eren.. please use your pretty brain even though I know you’re trying so damn hard I love you and you deserve better

Isayama was attempting murder with that Eren and Mikasa conversation. I never thought he would make Eren ask something like "what am I to you?" to Mikasa in fucking canon and I almost died while reading.

i really miss when everything was about just killing titans, even tho i really like how the story is developing at this point. i could never imagined it wiil be like this.

look guys I know diplomacy isnt flashy and you want Eren to be the tormented anti-hero fighting for the little people. but I swear some of you are thirteen years old with the level of nuance you can apparently handle. Gabi is devil incarnate but Eren is justified in murdering billions of people he's never met or talked to because he's afraid they might not like him? You need to be better than this.

Looking forward to seeing the carnage Eren unleashes after years of abuse from Marley and the outside world.

Masterpiece!!! Love it!! It’s like you got a little bit of everything in this chapter! Mikasa POV, The Rumbling, a little bit of fan service, the Eren and mikasa talk .. 10/10

Eren using titans to kill his enemies? That the first king. This is the reason everyone hates Eldians, Eren what the fuck

Kiyomi is the most fishy character of Snk. I have noticed Kiyomi seldom makes eye contacts with the Survey Corps during the talk. She definitely hides info and lies to them.

Remember that you would most likely not be on Paradis. You would most likely be minding your own business, rocking your child to sleep or visiting your grandma, when that wall of titans came to crush the life out of you for the sin of being born in the wrong place at the wrong time. And if we thought that was unacceptable when it happened to Eren and co. then we must consider it unacceptable for every other innocent civilian caught in the crosshairs of war.

Seeing the "hero" descending to full villain and it being true would be crushingly sad, but cool and very daring at the same time. I'm not sure if it's definitely what Isayama is doing, but it'd be very ballsy and I'd adknowledge that. I love irony and it would be very ironic so, yeah.

Shows how miserable Eren's life truly is. He clearly doesn't want to do what he is doing but also understands that it NEEDS to be done. It can be only him and nobody else. How we went from an angry boi to a literal god.

SnK is the only series that can make me simultaneously want to see Eren fucking obliterate everything, but also want to see "those days" come back.

Starting of with the *many* elephants in this rom, I really liked how Issayma portrayed the colossal Titans marching. It looks so gloomy and dark. The flashback parts were so wholesome, especially for a a chapter about genocide. Having this shift in tone from the start was a great idea. I'm still not a fan of Eren destroying the entire world. I know it's the probably the only definite solution but I'm starting to like Zeke's Plan more now lol

Team Eren. Reset the world!

The beginning was so freaking cute. By the end, I felt disturbed and disappointed. I thought Yams was doing something that didn't make sense. But now I strongly feel that we still haven't had Eren's real plan revealed to us. Eren intends to sacrifice himself, letting his friends defeat him to convince the world to see Paradis in a different light and make peace possible.

Zook faceplanting the sand is a power move

What a chapter! Feels like last final breath before shit will hit the fan for real, can't wait for next chapter...

#snk poll #snk polls #snk chapter 123 #snk 123 #snk poll results

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