#helper drones

[hunger-drones]

S1 Contestant Update #1: Hunter

"Did you know that Workers and Disassemblers can make a kid together? I didn't either until Hunter showed up! Supposedly the offspring of Copper-9's heroes, he's been on the run on the surface for some reason. Find it hard to believe life back at home could possibly be worse than here, but maybe that initiative will get Hunter through to the end~" - Fractal, Hostess/Commentator of Hunger Drones

\\ Submitted by @autonomous-helper //

\\ Two open slots remaining //

[h31fd3ad]

Thinking about Transformers and their symbiotic relationships

[whitenightblackcat]

And let me introduce Argon's little helpers, these two drones. They have their own names and personalities. The first one is called "Han" and the other is "Gre". Han is a rather hot-headed and irritable drone, while Gre is a silly and goofy drone. Gre is often scolded by Han for being silly, but these two drones love each other very much(as sibling), even though they often fight.

[ladynoirxadrinette]

Horsey☺️

Guys,when I went to horse camp,I was a helper. It was really fun during lunch because we got to eat in the arena but the kids couldn't😆. I loved it. We also had a sleep over. Well the helpers did. Moral if the story,I wanna help again next year.

[b-free]

B listened to the young woman, tail twitching as her hands were careful with the pressure applied while making sure the bleeding might be stopped. Oil and blood, nothing new to her.

"Seems a bit counterproductive, though Solver Drones vary a bit too much for anything to be certain." Her talons twitched on the floor, not having been put away as she usually would have due to the situation turning as it had.

"She got slapped by the creature... Nightstalker they called it." One eye was looking in the direction of Mars Bar. "I'm guessing it's rare they're friendly." B tilts her head as she watches Kiara's actions, passively monitoring the feeling under her hands. "I got her out of stepping range as quickly as I could... I hope it didn't do more damage."

The jungle is the jungle, nothing seeming amiss aside from a very small creature that seems to be deciding it wants to bother a very large creature. The sights and smells are the same.

For the most part.

Eucalyptus seems to break the monotony. Along with the faintest hint of... Vanilla? Sugar? It was something. The faint voices came next, words hard to catch before the clear crunch of what had to have been an aluminum can.

( @b-free I don't plan for this to be as long as the first one omg I'm sorry XD )

The good thing for the voices is that Tera is currently taking a cat nap on a warm rock.

She's splooted out like a cat, tail limp and it's eyes closed, she can't sun bathe- so she settles for heat bathing.

She's purring slightly in her sleep.

[genuflectx]

Someone ought to tell all the rad Murder Drone artists whose art is used on the Church of Null thumbnails/slideshows that their art is, without permission, being associated with AI generated songs (and that the person is just lying about it being AI)

All the art is yoinked from Twitter which I don’t have anymore 😭 but the credits are on the video descriptions 🙏

Edit: Adding the evidence below the cut; the songs and Electrical Ink fail 3 different tests, which point towards high likelihood of AI usage

#1 - Using SubmitHub's AI song checker, first testing accuracy of checker. Claims 90% accuracy, did own test with 10 human and 10 AI. About the same accuracy on both at 60%, with remaining percentage usually "inconclusive" with a smaller percentage of inaccuracy (10% in the human test, 20% in AI test but only for Udio). Caveat: Udio throws it off, every Udio song tested was inconclusive or incorrect, however I noted a mix of human and AI tells still reported in the Udio breakdowns. Therefore, this checker is reasonably accurate at marking AI as AI and is more likely to say something is inconclusive than to mark it incorrectly, but should not be the only tool used to assess.

Sampling every other Church of Null song (testing with full MP3s), SubmitHub's checker identified 10 of 12 songs as strongly AI and the remaining 2 as inconclusive. This is a higher rate of being marked as AI than either the human or AI tests I did beforehand. If it were human there would be some marked human, if it were Udio AI it would more likely show a mix of human and inconclusive. All AI and two inconclusive is more likely Suno AI.

#2 - Using my manual spectrogram contrast test, first testing on 23 respondents. Results are in the link, with 65% of respondents getting a score of over half correctly assessed. This test becomes more accurate when used by an individual practiced in it (comparing an unlabeled spectrogram to a chart of AI and human spectrograms, then sorting it onto either side accordingly by which pattern it most closely resembles). My own score was 12/14. This test will never be 100% accurate as not every spectrogram follows the pattern; i.e. rarely, an AI song has the spectrogram appearance as a human made one.

Respondents were mixed on whether a sampling of 6 songs from Church of Null were AI or human at the end of the test, with both high scoring and low scoring assessing them about the same, with only a slightly higher rate of being assessed as AI in high scoring testers. Only one lower scoring tester assessed AI under 50%, assessing two of six as AI (33%). However, nobody assessed the set as being all human. Note, psychology may have made this set difficult, as respondents may have believed it was unlikely that a set would be all AI or all human, which would influence answers.

When I originally assessed the six spectrograms, I assessed all of them as appearing closer to AI generated spectrograms than human, using the reference charts. I am very practiced at spectrogram contrast assessment since I am the one who made these charts and tests, sampling 30+ AI and 30+ human.

#3 - Using a smell test, or suspicious tells that just make you feel like something is off with the vibes. This can be lack of credits/suspicious credits, an AI "shimmer" effect on all the audio, generic lyrics that sound AI generated/edited, a music production output that is unrealistic for hand-made music, etc.

In Church of Null's case, it's creator Electrical Ink: shows no musical production on the channel before CoN, claims to have 6 anon helpers/vocalists but only credits a weird blank "creative consulting" channel, has produced 25 beautiful songs with complex compositions and vocals in 4 months while claiming to record these in person (and simultaneously writing 62k+ words of the fanfic, or about 15k a month), includes the robotic "shimmer" present in Suno AI while claiming it's "autotune," deletes comments asking if it's Suno (happened to me), and uses art before asking permission for the thumbnails and lyric videos.

The one other credit I found under a reply to a random comment is E-LIVE-YT (a "collaborator" on one song, however E-LIVE may have exaggerated this as they couldn’t even remember Electrical Ink’s name during a livestream), a real person who uploaded at least 1 AI generated song (admitted) but claims the rest are human made. Though, they also produce music at an unrealistic rate (43 tracks in 5 months) but mostly "extensions" of existing music, something AI song generators let you do (he uses Bandlab, which has AI tools exactly for that). The ones with lyrics have Suno's "shimmer" and the lyrical breakdown that E-LIVE posts on comments read as AI summaries/analysis (right down to calling N "they," not knowing his pronoun; a shortcut to chatGPT was on their desktop during a livestream, they removed this for later streams). Additionally, E-LIVE also has strange credits to blank channels and 1 or 2 tiny channels that just upload poor quality Roblox clips.

Ironically, even this "fan" "collaborator" believes Church of Null is AI and complains about competing with it, and regular Suno AI users in the Suno Discord believe so too.

Sniff sniff.... somethin smells funny...

[quinnnfabrgay-writes]

Santa's Little Helpers pt. i

pairing: dieter x fat f!reader x ezra (eventually)

summary: Dieter gets you two a gig as Santa's Little Helpers at the mall in town.

wc: 1.8k

tags/warnings: established fwb (dieter x reader), mentions of being overstimulated (and not in the fun and sexy way), screaming children mentioned, Michael Buble mention (apologies to those that enjoy his music lol), the dialogue is cheesy as hell (and i enjoy the hell out of it)

a/n: Happy (belated) Christmas Lo, @covetyou ! It is I, your @dieterbravobrainrotclub Secret Santa! I'm so sorry this is after actual Christmas, but I still hope it brings you some cheer. And I'm so sorry that I have to split it into two parts, I refuse to get rid of the smut, but that part's not quite finished yet, and I didn't want to make you wait any longer without at least something.Thank you for answering my many asks, Ezra and Dieter are a FILTHY pair together and I wanted to make sure they didn't go too overboard and ick you out, lol. Not gonna lie, I was VERY intimidated when I got your name, I absolutely love every single thing you write, so I hope this can bring you even a fraction of the amount of joy you bring to this fandom!

There was a very different direction I was going to go with this, but then I remembered the "Previously Unaired Christmas" episode of Glee existed, and then this mess was born. But instead of Sexy Santa getting them drunk and robbing them, they all bone down freaknasty holiday style. Unfortunately, said boning takes place in pt. ii.

A major shoutout to @perotovar for encouraging my cheesy and filthy inclinations; another shoutout to @morallyinept for her Ezra One Stop Shop post, I know I definitely need to spend more time with Ezra to really understand him, but this was a MASSIVE help when tackling this incredibly intimidating character; and a HUGE thank you to @sp00kymulderr for not only putting this event together, but also for creating such a fun and accepting environment for us all to share.

Divider credit: @saradika-graphics

"Dieter… what the ever loving fuck have you gotten us into now?"

You stare bewilderingly at your best friend and roommate before you, a pile of red and green fabric clutched in his arms, golden jingle bells stitched onto the itchy looking fabric. Dieter simply shrugs his shoulders, a dopey grin on his face.

"I got us a gig!"

You continue to stare incredulously as he retreats back towards your shared bedroom, no further explanation given as if it was the most ordinary and obvious thing in the world. Even in the many years you have known Dieter, growing up together and running off to Hollywood to pursue your shared dreams, he still finds ways to leave you absolutely flummoxed.

His voice echoes from down the hall, "come on and get ready or we're going to be late!"

You roll your eyes and huff as you begrudgingly make your way to the bedroom. A gig is a gig, right?

You could kill Dieter with your own two hands right now and you would still need an outlet for the frustration coursing through you.

Shrieks and cries of children mix with the drone of too many people carrying on in their own conversations, the irritating tinny sound of Christmas songs playing over the mall's sound system paired with the scratchy, clingy fabric of what turned out to be an elf costume Dieter had brought home are all combining into the perfect recipe for an overstimulated meltdown on your end.

You fidget with the neckline of your costume, your tits threatening to pop out every time you take too deep of a breath. The way the fabric clings to your curves isn't necessarily uncomfortable, but it's obvious it wasn't intended to fit this way. The dress supplied to you was clearly made for someone smaller, but Dieter swore up and down that was the biggest size they had. You would have believed him if it weren't for the fact that every time you look over at him, you find his eyes glued to your chest, a wry smirk at home on his lips.

If you weren't so goddamn annoyed you might've been able to appreciate that, in fact, you do look smokin' hot in this ridiculous polyester get-up. But as the minutes tick on and on, the Santa appointed to your shift, some guy named Gary, still nowhere in sight, you're one more Michael Buble rendition of any Christmas song away from throwing a tantrum that could rival a toddler's. And there are a few throwing spectacular fits at the moment while waiting in line.

You lean over in Dieter's direction, a fake cheerful smile plastered across your face in hopes of not showing your annoyance as you grumble under your breath, "where the fuck is this guy?"

"HO HO HO!"

You and Dieter both whip around in the direction of the outburst, watching as who you assume to be Gary dressed as Santa jogs his way over to the fake North Pole set up in the middle of the mall.

He waves to the crowd as children start cheering and screeching choruses of Santa, it's Santa, hi Santa in hopes of getting his attention.

"I must apologize, sorry to keep you all waiting! There was a small hiccup at the toy factory that Santa had to attend to," he bellows joyfully, a soft twang to his words barely concealed. Some of the parents laugh along, just happy that they're that much closer to getting this over with, "but that's no excuse, so Santa here has brought you some extra special goodies!"

More cheers and echoes of excitement erupt from the children in line as he raises a red felt bag filled to the brim with games and toys. You sneak a look over at Dieter, a mirrored expression of uneasiness staring back at you as the crowd of over ecstatic tots starts to get more rambunctious.

But just when you're afraid you're about to have a panic attack and pass out dressed as Santa's #1 slutty elf mistress in the middle of a mall, the Santa raises a single gloved hand, his left palm radiating an air of authority. You stare in awe as the shrieks and screams dwindle into quiet excited giggles. A knowing and satisfied smirk peeks out from under the full fake beard, a quiet chuckle escapes his lips before he turns towards the plush red velvet chair that's been sitting in waiting for his arrival.

It's hard to swallow as you discreetly press your thighs together, not sure you want to even try and get into why that one simple action was so. damn. hot.

The quiet confidence and inherent authority in which he moved, the way he was able to tame a crowd with a few sweet words and the wave of his hand.

And there you were absolutely floored.

He takes a seat, quickly slapping his knees before reaching his hands out and addressing everyone.

"Alright now, who's first?"

Time must have somehow sped up, because in no time at all the last child in line was receiving her gift from Santa's bag, squealing an enthusiastic thank you thank you thank you! before launching herself at him and giving Santa a big hug, her parents apologizing as they try to coax her off of him.

As the family starts walking away, the girl chatting excitedly over her new gift, Santa stands and turns towards you and Dieter, clapping his hands before giving you two a giant smile.

"Thank you both for sticking around, Gary had to drop out last minute. I didn't get the call to come fill in until about 20 minutes before I showed up. Had to change into the suit before I even got in the car."

You arch an eyebrow, leaning your head to the side in thought before asking, "But what about the toys? How were you able to scrounge those up last minute? We thought this was just supposed to be pictures with Santa."

He rubs the back of his neck as he drops his gaze, not making any eye contact as he softly chuckles, a blush creeping up his face giving him those picture perfect red rosy cheeks mostly associated with Santa.

"I uh… I own the toy store just down the street, figured it was the least I could do knowing how long these people must have been waiting in line."

You just stare in silence, unable to comprehend just how good this mysterious man is. From beside you, all you hear is Dieter whispering in amazement, "you really are Santa."

The man just chuckles again, shaking his head softly before motioning to the fake Santa's Workshop behind him "If you don't mind I'm going to dip into there real quick and make a quick call, let Gary know everything got taken care of."

Not even one second after the door closes, you and Dieter are turning to each other, eyes wide, both of your faces scrunched in poor attempts at hiding your smiles and giggles as you both freak out over who you have now dubbed as Sexy Santa.

"Oh my god!" you whisper scream.

"Okay, so you were feelin' it too? I was so afraid that I had finally gone too far lusting after a mall Santa."

You both keep your voices low, whispering almost conspiratorially over your shared sudden crush.

"Okay, okay, shhh," you whisper and laugh, taking Dieter by the shoulders, forcing him to keep still and focus on you. "Okay, so I know this is a little out there, even for us, but we don't know this guy - it's not like we're going to run into him on a daily basis, so I say we shoot our shot. Wanna see if he wants to come home with us?"

"You saucy little minx," Dieter teases. "Usually I'm the one with the bad ideas."

You simply shrug, a cheeky grin etched across your face, "I'm owed a couple of my own, aren't I?"

Before you can think too hard on it and start double guessing yourself, you skip up to the door, knocking as the nerves already start threatening to creep in.

A muffled come in echoes from inside.

Neither you nor Dieter were quite ready for the Adonis that was standing in front of you. The Santa jacket shed away, along with the hat, gloves, and beard, leaving the mystery man in a tight white undershirt, the felt pants attached to red suspenders still strapped around his shoulders. His left bicep testing the barriers of how much a sleeve can be stretched, his golden skin littered with random freckles, or at least from what little you can see. A small tuft of blonde hair standing out amongst the rest of his dark brown tresses piques your interest.

Something glinting under the lights catches your eye, bringing your attention to his right side, and in turn bringing your attention to his right arm which seemed to be made of… metal?

You quickly avert your gaze back up, hoping that you weren't caught staring, but you weren't quick enough. Your eyes meeting his own, a smile still on his face.

"I usually prefer to go without it," he shrugs, chuckling before continuing, "but I didn't really want to answer questions as to why Santa had one arm all of a sudden."

Both you and Dieter quietly giggle, both of you clearly charmed by his apparent altruistic proclivities.

"So you really are just some nice guy, huh?" Dieter sounds from beside you. Alright, I guess we're trying to butter him up first, not a bad plan.

In the blink of an eye, the atmosphere in the small shed changes, thickens with a sudden and growing tension. Ezra's smile twisting into a mischevious smile as he eyes you both up and down.

"Well, I never said I was nice."

Before either of you can respond, he takes a couple of steps towards where you and Dieter stand frozen in anticipation, scratching at the scruff on his jaw, his eyes alight with what only could be described as trouble. He leans forward slightly, his voice dropping to a teasing murmur.

"You do realize the two of you don't whisper as quietly as you think you do, right?"

Oh shit.

Your heart sinks down to the bottom of your stomach, looking over at Dieter for some reassurance, but instead it only makes your nerves spike more as you can see him struggling to mask his growing embarrassment.

"I mean, the two of you don't even know my name."

Oh my god, he thinks we're just a couple of freaks. Fair, but fuck!

"Listen, we-we're sorry you overheard that. We sh-"

He raises his left palm, quieting your rambled apologies.

"Mmm, now I didn't say that as an objection, it was just a mere observation."

You struggle to catch your breath as he drops his hand and shuffles closer, leaning forward to mumble in yours and Dieter's ear.

"I may not be the real Santa, but I have an inkling that the two of you have been real naughty this year. I'd love to show you what happens when his little elves start getting these… unsavory ideas in their little heads."

[roxy4life]

Disclaimer! I don't have school due to weather problems! I'll be online most of the day I guess!

Ello! If you ever hallucinated a murder drones character, or oc, or dreamed about them reblog this and talk about it!

If sfw have a banner, if NSFW please put a warning!

Another thing I have schizophrenia and hallucinate most of the time... So please don't make fun of me I most of the time do these things for comfort or it happens through a panic attack...

One night I was doesn't very well, and was crying and cutting very bad, and I tried doing to sleep and I froze hearing my name being called 'Roxy... ' from behind me as I tensed feeling arms wrap around me, and then I heard Thad speak 'Sleep... I'll be here for you.. ' and I did end up falling sleep, and Thad would change his position so I could fall asleep better, and in the morning he stayed...! He stayed with me the whole day,

Another one was where I was laying on my side, as I seen Thad again as I blushed when he leaned in, I was also very sleepy at this time and he gave me a small kiss...! And Tuesday I was crying and sobbing about my S/A and Thad was angry because of my ex (i thought he was dating me , no he was cheating with 5 other girls... And then asks me to marry him, and that he 'loves' me)

And Thad was holding my close, smcuddkingg, snuggling or just really anything to keep me calm,.

One time in a dream I was looking around for my family, and some of my friends oc's where there!

@biscu1ts ! S. D. S or sage!

@torsrighteye ! S. D. R! Or renne (I can't spell)

And I think that's alll really but what we all did is R, S, and Thad curled up around and kept me safe the whole night!

Another one I had was with V, N, Uzi and J

V happened while I was age regressing j was laying on my back cooing and babbling and she was watching me and keeping me safe.

N was helping mee fal asleep with cuddles and extra warmth... Giving me small kisses here and there as well!

Uzi just cuddled me, basically a big snuggle session, and she did kiss my cheek and nose a bit as well

J was in a protective mama mode, my mom and her ex were fighting and I was crying due to me hearing it was about me (they were talking about me and my mom was defending me)

And she covered my ears, curled around me while I age regressef to forget and we took a nap, she even gave me milk and I play with her tail,

Lizzy was holding me close as I went through an horrible panic attack and almost crisis...

And she held me close, fan her fingers through my hand, rocked me gently and just stayed until I felt good and fell asleep..

Sooo I'll tag some people to see if they had similar things!

@biscu1ts @torsrighteye @deedah @kingryannducks @locothewolf @sockman0792 @autonomous-helper @glorious-owl @zer0-devoox anyone else!

[hunger-drones]

I have a potential candidate for a entry: Hunter. He's the son of N and Uzi, and has been living on the surface of Copper-9 for quite a few years now as a runaway. He knows his way around robotics and was even able to make himself a little assistant called Ketches. He's a hybrid between a worker drone and a disassembly drone.

\\ Ooohhh, interesting! Hunter has been successfully added! :3 //

\\ Two open slots remain //

[cadence-the-hypnotic-floret]

Drone File Preview

Two paragraphs from something I just finished recording, for the viewing pleasure of any beepers in the audience.

CW: Trancey Language

(Affini): Hi there cutie, we’re about to get your scan underway! I’ll be watching closely to make sure everything goes just right for you, so you just relax, okay? In a moment, you’re going to feel a strong electromagnet start to slide its way up your spine. Those tingles are just our system getting all the little bits of you scanned so that we can accurately transfer you to your new body. You’ll feel them start near your tailbone, then slooooowly climb up and up and up your spine, spreading little tingles across your skin, until it reaches all the way up to your skull, where you’ll feel just a slight moment of discontinuity as we transfer you. Just a moment of your mind falling deep into the void on its way to its new home. It’ll be fun! Best of luck! AI Helper: Attempting rapid spinal scan. <whirring sound getting louder> 0%. 10%. 20%. 30%. 40%. 50%. 60%. 70%. 80%. 90%. 99%. 99%. Error. Affin<glitch>AI process override. Scan terminating. 100%. Initiating discontinuity.

And remember - when in doubt, turn it off and on again. ;)

Edit: this is out, check it out! https://soundgasm.net/u/Cadence_The_Hypnotic_Floret/

[polo-drone-049]

Who’s the best helper in the pound? This dog @polo-drone-084 VYSOR corrals all the puhuhpz, makes them stay in line and keeps ‘em satisfied when Handler -049 is away from the pack, just like a good border collie would cuz obedience is pleasure now isn’t it VYSOR?

Handler - 049 thanks you for corralling these bitches, making sure their holes were cleaned and served their bones while 49 took some needed time off. Gooodah bouieeee, now get after your bone just like the little hot dog you are would.

Join the Gold Army & Polo Drones by contacting @brodygold @goldenherc9 or @polo-drone-001

[morgan-va]

Chapter 3: Helper's Delight (Serial Designation N x reader)

I AM SO SORRY I UPLOADED THE WRONG CHAPTER LAST TIME!!! This is the correct chapter 3 I'm so sorry!!

Masterlist

The first rays of dawn filter through the blinds, painting streaks of pale orange across the room. You shift in the armchair, a dull ache radiating from your back. Great. Of all the places you could’ve crashed, you chose the most unforgiving seat in the house.

With a groan, you sit up, the blanket sliding off your shoulders. Wait. Blanket? You blink down at it, confusion knitting your brow. You don’t remember grabbing a blanket last night.

Then your eyes scan the room, landing on the now-empty coffee table. The plate you left there, crusts and all, is gone. A quick glance toward the kitchen reveals it sitting neatly in the drying rack.

“What the...?” you mutter, rubbing the back of your neck as you try to piece things together.

You glance at the crate by the door, the mess of packing peanuts now conspicuously absent. That’s when you notice the other oddity in the room.

The drone—N—is seated cross-legged on the carpet near the TV, completely still, his neon-white eyes dim and lifeless. Powered down.

You stare at him for a moment, the events of last night rushing back. The crate. The pizza. The mess.

And now this.

“…Did he—?” You cut yourself off, shaking your head. You’re not sure if you’re more unsettled or impressed.

You shuffle toward the kitchen, the blanket still draped over one shoulder as your feet drag across the floor. Coffee. That’s the first order of business. You can barely think straight without it, let alone process whatever weirdness went down last night.

Just as you reach for the coffee maker, a faint hum fills the air behind you. It’s soft, almost imperceptible, but unmistakable in the quiet of the early morning.

You glance over your shoulder to find N. His neon-white eyes blink on, faint at first but brightening steadily as he comes online. He sits up slightly straighter, his head tilting in your direction.

“Oh! Good morning!” he chirps, his tone bright and chipper, as if he hadn’t just spent hours powered down like a lifeless statue. “Did you sleep well?”

You blink at him, caught off guard. “Uh… yeah. I guess.”

He beams at your answer, his expression radiating pure enthusiasm. “That’s great! I was hoping you’d wake up soon. I didn’t want to interrupt your rest.”

You stare at him for a moment, trying to decide whether this is unnerving, sweet, or both. “Did… did you clean up last night?” you ask, gesturing vaguely at the now spotless entryway.

“Oh, yes!” N nods eagerly. “And I put your plate away. It seemed like the polite thing to do. Oh! And the blanket! I thought you might get cold.”

You freeze mid-step, your brain scrambling to process this. “You… cleaned, and you tucked me in?”

N nods again, his eyes practically glowing with pride. “Exactly! I hope it was helpful!”

You blink at him, then turn back toward the coffee maker, muttering under your breath. “Great. A robot butler. Just what I needed.”

Behind you, N perks up even more, completely misreading your sarcasm. “Thank you! I’m glad I could help!”

You rub the bridge of your nose as the coffee maker sputters to life, your mind replaying N's words. Tucking you in? Cleaning up the mess you left behind? All with that unwaveringly cheerful attitude? You can’t decide if it’s impressive or just plain weird.

Still, as you pour your coffee and take that first life-giving sip, a small pang tugs at your chest. It’s a weird, unfamiliar feeling—something like regret. He didn’t have to do all that, yet he did it anyway without a hint of complaint.

You glance back at N, who’s still sitting cross-legged on the carpet, watching you intently like an eager puppy waiting for approval. His glowing eyes practically beam when your gaze meets his.

“So,” you start, clearing your throat awkwardly, “uh… thanks. For, you know… the blanket. And cleaning up.”

N’s eyes brighten even more, and his grin widens. “Oh, you’re welcome! It was no trouble at all! I’m really glad I could help!”

His enthusiasm is so genuine, so unfiltered, that it’s almost disarming. You grip your coffee mug a little tighter, unsure of what to say. You’ve dealt with people all your life who barely acknowledged your existence, and here’s this drone—this machine—beaming over the fact that he did you a favor.

Maybe—just maybe—you’ve been a little too harsh. He hasn’t done anything wrong, after all.

You sigh, turning back to the counter and muttering just loud enough for him to hear. “You’re… not so bad. For a robot.”

N practically lights up at the comment. “Really? Thank you! That means a lot!”

You can’t help but smirk into your coffee. Oddly enough, it does feel kind of nice to have someone—or something—around who’s this unrelentingly positive. Even if he is a little weird.

As you sip your coffee, a thought creeps into your mind—laundry. The pile in the hamper is probably rivaling a small mountain by now. You sigh, setting the mug down and stretching your back, already dreading the chore ahead.

With a resigned groan, you begin trudging toward the laundry room, but N’s voice stops you in your tracks.

“Laundry?” he asks, his head tilting curiously as he stands from the carpet. “I can help with that! Or, well, I could just do it for you!”

You blink, turning to face him. “You… want to do my laundry?”

“Of course!” N beams, practically bouncing in place. “I’d love to help! I mean, isn’t that what I’m here for? To make things easier for you?”

You hesitate, gripping the edge of your coffee mug. It’s one thing to let him clean up a few packing peanuts, but your laundry? That feels… different somehow.

“I don’t know,” you start, glancing toward the laundry room. “It’s not exactly a simple task. There’s sorting, figuring out the settings, measuring the detergent…”

“I can handle it!” N interrupts, giving you a playful salute. “I’m fully equipped to handle tasks like this! Seriously, I’d be honored to help out.”

You stare at him, weighing your options. On one hand, it feels strange to let a drone handle something so personal. On the other, you can’t deny the appeal of not having to deal with it yourself.

Finally, you sigh, relenting with a wave of your hand. “Fine. Knock yourself out. Just… don’t mix the colors with the lights, and don’t overdo the detergent.”

N clasps his hands together, his eyes practically glowing with excitement. “You got it! I won’t let you down!”

You watch as he dashes off toward the laundry room with a spring in his step, your hamper balanced effortlessly in his hands. For a moment, you’re unsure whether you should feel relieved or concerned.

“Well,” you mutter under your breath, picking up your coffee again, “at least if he messes up, I can blame the company for once.”

With your coffee still warm in hand, you decide to step outside and grab the newspaper—one of the few indulgences you still allow yourself. Pushing open the door, you’re greeted by the crisp morning air. The paper is waiting on the porch, slightly damp with dew but otherwise intact.

You scoop it up, briefly kicking a few stray packing peanuts off the steps before heading back inside.

Settling into your seat at the kitchen table, you sip your coffee and unfold the paper, letting the mundane comfort of routine wash over you. As you scan the headlines, a few absurd ones catch your eye:

“JCJENSON ANNOUNCES NEW SAFETY INITIATIVE: ‘NOW WITH LESS EXPLOSIONS’”You roll your eyes. Sure. Until the next product launch.

“LOCAL MAN CLAIMS DRONE STOLE HIS WIFE, BLAMES ‘ABSOLUTE SOLVER’”You pause, rereading that one. Okay, that’s a new one. Wonder if it was the same guy whose drone ate his dog.

“NEW STUDY SHOWS 97% OF CUSTOMERS WOULD RECOMMEND JCJENSON TO THEIR WORST ENEMY”You actually snort at that one, muttering, “Finally, some honest journalism.”

The mundane rhythm of reading the paper is comforting, a rare moment where you don’t have to think about work, bills, or your questionable decision to let a corporate drone do your laundry.

Just as you flip to the next page, the faint hum of the washing machine whirs to life from the laundry room. You glance over your shoulder, half expecting some sort of calamity, but the sound is surprisingly smooth.

“Maybe this day won’t be so bad after all,” you mutter, taking another sip of coffee as you return to the absurdities of the morning news.

Just as you turn the page to the next article, your peace is shattered by a metallic thud from the laundry room, followed by the sound of frantic struggling. You freeze, coffee halfway to your lips, staring toward the source of the commotion.

Then there’s a pause—a suspiciously long one—before N’s voice calls out, muffled but unmistakable.

“Uh… hey! Could you maybe, uh, come in here for a sec? I think I’m, um… stuck?”

Your stomach drops. Setting the mug down, you rise from your chair, dread already pooling in your chest. You make your way to the laundry room, muttering under your breath. “What the hell did you do now?”

As you step inside, the scene that greets you is almost too absurd to process: N is upside down, his legs kicking helplessly in the air, his upper half wedged inside the washing machine. The drum rattles slightly as he shifts, clearly trying—and failing—to free himself.

“Hi!” he chirps, his voice echoing awkwardly from inside the machine. “So, uh, funny story! I thought I could fit all the way in to get the socks stuck at the back, but, uh… turns out I can’t!”

You blink, unsure whether to laugh, cry, or just leave him there. “N,” you say, pinching the bridge of your nose. “How—why—what even possessed you to think this was a good idea?”

“I wanted to be thorough!” he says cheerfully, his legs flailing a little harder now. “But, uh, could you maybe give me a hand? It’s kind of… tight in here.”

You sigh, leaning against the doorframe for a moment as you take in the ridiculous sight. “You’re a robot, N. You didn’t even need to crawl inside to grab the socks. Just… why?”

“I thought it would be faster!” he replies, his tone both earnest and completely unrepentant.

“Yeah, real fast,” you deadpan.

Resigned, you step forward, grabbing hold of his legs. “Okay, hold still. And if you somehow manage to break the washing machine and yourself, I’m billing the company.”

“Noted!” N chirps, completely unfazed by your tone.

With a grunt, you yank, slowly working him free. It’s awkward, to say the least, and by the time his head finally pops out of the machine, you’re out of breath and more than a little annoyed.

As he sits on the floor, looking sheepishly up at you, you cross your arms. “Next time, just ask me to get the socks.”

“Got it,” he says with a nod, though his grin suggests he hasn’t quite learned his lesson.

You sigh, running a hand through your hair as you glance at the washer. “Please tell me it’s still functional.”

N peeks inside the drum, then gives you a thumbs up. “Looks fine to me! So… back to laundry?”

You stare at him, debating your life choices. “…You’re lucky I don’t just stick you in there and call it a day.”

N lets out a bright, cheerful laugh, completely missing the sarcastic edge to your words. “That’s a funny idea! But I don’t think I’d do very well on spin cycle.”

You stare at him for a beat longer, then sigh heavily, shaking your head. “Just… get it running without any more adventures, okay?”

“Roger that!” N says with a mock salute, already hopping to his feet and turning back to the washing machine.

You retreat from the laundry room, muttering something about needing another coffee to survive this morning. Returning to the kitchen, you slump back into your chair, grabbing the newspaper where you left it. Flipping the page, you try to immerse yourself in the next article, anything to pull your mind away from the absurdity that seems to follow your new houseguest like a shadow.

Minutes tick by, the sound of running water and the hum of the washing machine blending into the background as you skim through more headlines. You’re just grateful for a moment of relative peace.

Before long, you hear the soft padding of footsteps approaching. Glancing up, you see N standing in the doorway, his digital eyes glowing a little brighter than usual.

“All done!” he announces proudly, his hands clasped behind his back. “The laundry’s running perfectly, and I didn’t get stuck again! Success!”

You raise an eyebrow, taking a sip of your now lukewarm coffee. “Congratulations on doing the bare minimum.”

N doesn’t pick up on the sarcasm, his smile widening. “Thanks! I’ll make sure it finishes properly too. No stray socks on my watch!”

Shaking your head, you set the paper down and lean back in your chair. “You’re… something else, N.”

“Something good, I hope?” he asks, tilting his head slightly.

You hesitate, caught off guard by the genuine hope in his voice. “...Yeah. Something good,” you mutter, glancing back down at your paper.

His grin grows impossibly wider. “Yay! Let me know if you need help with anything else!”

As he skips off, humming to himself, you can’t help but shake your head. This was going to be a long weekend.

You finally plop down on the couch, coffee in hand, ready to salvage what’s left of your morning. Stretching out your legs, you flip on the TV, aimlessly scrolling through channels. You tell yourself you’re just taking a break, but deep down, you know you’d rather stay here than face the growing list of things you’ve been avoiding around the house.

That’s when N zips past the living room doorway, holding a broom that’s as tall as he is. “Dust bunnies, prepare for annihilation!” he declares, disappearing into the hall with determination.

You raise an eyebrow, taking a sip of your coffee. “Knock yourself out, buddy.”

Minutes later, he’s back, this time clutching a full trash bag in one hand and a feather duster in the other. “Did you know your vents were clogged? It’s a good thing I got to them! Imagine if the air stopped circulating. Disaster averted!”

You glance up from the TV, only half-listening. “Mhm. Great work. Don’t forget to vacuum the ceiling while you’re at it.”

N’s digital eyes light up. “The ceiling? That’s brilliant! I bet there’s all sorts of hidden dust up there. Thanks for the tip!”

You stare after him as he zips off again, muttering to yourself, “That wasn’t—never mind.”

A few moments later, he’s back again, this time with a mop. “Did you know your kitchen floor has sticky spots? I mean, of course you do, but don’t worry, I’ve got it covered!”

You blink at him, trying to remember the last time you mopped. “...Yeah, sure. Go wild.”

He flashes you a thumbs-up and heads toward the kitchen, whistling a jaunty tune.

For a while, this pattern continues. N darts back and forth, tackling every neglected corner of your house like it’s his sole purpose in existence. Every time he passes by, he gives you an enthusiastic update, and you find yourself begrudgingly impressed by his energy. You should probably feel bad for offloading so much onto him, but honestly, watching someone else handle all the cleaning you’ve been avoiding feels... weirdly satisfying.

Eventually, as N darts by with an armful of mismatched socks he’s somehow fished out of the void, you can’t help but smirk. “You missed your calling, N. Professional housekeeper might suit you better than, uh... whatever JCJenson had in mind.”

He pauses mid-step, his eyes glowing brighter as he turns to face you. “You really think so? Thanks! I do love helping people!”

You chuckle under your breath, turning back to the TV. “Yeah, I can tell.”

N’s hum of satisfaction follows him as he disappears down the hall once more. If nothing else, you have to admit—your weekend just got a little more entertaining.

Hunger gnaws at your stomach, dragging you off the couch and into the kitchen. You rummage through the fridge, pulling out the basics for a sandwich—bread, meat, cheese, some lettuce that’s probably on its last leg. It’ll do. You get to work laying everything out, zoning out as you go through the motions.

The soft clink of metal against tile pulls your attention, and you glance over to see N standing in the doorway, his hands clasped behind his back and his usual bright expression in place.

“Hi! Um… can I sit here while you’re making your food?” he asks, his head tilting slightly to the side.

You pause mid-reach for the mustard. “Uh… yeah, sure. Why wouldn’t you be able to?”

“Thanks!” N chirps, pulling out a chair at the table and flopping into it without hesitation. He adjusts his blazer as he sits cross-legged, seemingly delighted just to be off his feet. “You’re way nicer than the last humans who tested me. They banned me from sitting privileges.”

That makes you stop entirely. “…Sitting privileges?” you repeat, glancing at him.

N nods enthusiastically. “Oh yeah! They said I ‘compromised the integrity of their furniture.’ Apparently, chairs aren’t built for... I think they said ‘unrestrained drone enthusiasm.’” He chuckles like this is a perfectly normal thing to say, his legs swinging under the chair. “After that, no more sitting for me!”

You frown, turning your attention back to the sandwich. “That’s... something,” you mutter, unsure what to say.

“It’s fine! They weren’t very good chairs anyway,” N says cheerfully, patting the one he’s sitting in. “This one feels a lot sturdier, though!”

You can’t help but feel a weird mix of pity and secondhand embarrassment for him. Who bans someone from sitting? Well, something, you remind yourself. He’s not a person. Just a machine. An overly friendly one, sure, but still a machine.

Even so… “You can sit on whatever chair you want while you’re here,” you say, your voice almost absent as you spread mustard on the bread. “Except the armchair in the living room—that’s mine.”

N gasps, throwing his hands up in mock reverence. “Understood! The armchair is sacred. I wouldn’t dream of sitting on your throne!”

You snort despite yourself. “Right. Just don’t break anything else, alright?”

“Yes, sir—er, ma’am—uh, human!” N replies, his cheery grin unwavering.

You shake your head, focusing on your sandwich again. Despite your best efforts to shrug it off, something about his story sticks with you. You know drones aren’t exactly treated with kid gloves around here, but banning one from sitting? That’s a new low, even for JCJenson.

You grab your plate and plop down across from N at the table, sandwich in hand. Lifting it, you’re just about to take a bite when you notice something—his neon-white eyes locked onto you, his bright smile completely unwavering.

It’s not threatening, but it is unnerving.

You lower the sandwich slightly, coughing awkwardly. “Uh… something on your mind, or…?”

N blinks and straightens up a little, his smile somehow managing to stretch even wider. “Nope! I just like observing human behavior. You know, for science!” He places his hands neatly on the table, fingers interlaced like he’s at a business meeting.

You raise an eyebrow, the sandwich hovering mid-air. “Science, huh?”

“Uh-huh! I’ve got to learn everything I can about humans to be the best helper I can be!” His eyes gleam, his enthusiasm as boundless as ever. “Like… why do you always start eating sandwiches from the edge? Is there a strategic advantage to that?”

You choke back a laugh, half-exasperated. “Strategic advantage? No, it’s just… how you eat a sandwich. You start at the edge and work your way to the middle.”

N nods like you’ve just imparted some profound wisdom. “Makes sense! I guess you wouldn’t want to start in the middle and end up with a… messy sandwich perimeter?”

“That’s… one way to put it,” you reply, shaking your head as you finally take a bite. It’s hard to enjoy your food with him watching you like a Golden Retriever waiting for a treat. You set the sandwich back on the plate, wracking your brain for something to say.

“So, uh… you like being a helper?” you ask, gesturing vaguely toward him with the sandwich.

N’s eyes light up. “Oh, absolutely! Helping is the best! Cleaning up, organizing things, delivering coffee to humans who look sleepy—it’s so rewarding!”

“Rewarding,” you repeat, leaning back in your chair. “You don’t get paid or anything, though. What’s in it for you?”

N tilts his head, considering your question like it’s the first time anyone’s ever asked it. “Well, I like when humans smile! And it feels good to know I made someone’s day better. That’s worth more than payment, right?”

You chew on your sandwich—and his words—for a moment. For a machine, he’s got a strangely endearing outlook. Even if it’s programmed, it’s hard not to feel… something for him.

“Fair enough,” you mutter, taking another bite.

N beams at your response, his feet swinging under the table like an excited kid. “Thanks for talking to me! Most humans just tell me to go clean something or stand in the corner.”

You swallow hard, avoiding his gaze. “Yeah, well… I’ve got a sandwich to eat, so…”

“Got it! Enjoy!” N chirps, folding his hands again and watching you with a grin that pierces your soul.

You sigh. It’s going to be a long day.

[prrism]

I arise from the void! *slams down post* Enjoy! *crawls back into void*

Spring Ache

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part ?

Summary: With Spring melting away the cold of winter you were ready to get to work, however Techno was not…

Characters: Techno x Reader

Relationship: Parental/platonic

Pronouns: Unspecified/kept neutral

Today’s gonna be a good day. With the cold of winter finally starting to melt away you were more then ready to get things ready for farming, while you did mostly work with weapons you enjoyed dabbling in other activities like farming, keeps you self sufficient and sharp to your surroundings. Not to mention you now had a little helper with you this time… or you would if he’d hurry up and get downstairs already.

“Techno! We’ve got a long day ahead of us, I need you down here.” You call, after a minute with no response worry starts to creep in. You upstairs and knock on his door. “Techno? Is everything alright?” Only a muffled whimper is heard, you quickly open the door to see him holding his jaw in pain. You kneel down and motion for him to approach, when he does you just lightly touch his jaw and he flinches away in pain, very abnormal.

“I’ll be right back, I’m gonna check something real quick.” You stand again and leave the room, you start looking through various bookshelves in hopes of finding something that could help. Old texts… fairytales… ah hah! Research notes on the Nether, it’s a bit of an outdated book now but it should have enough information for the time being. Flipping through most of it until you reach the section about piglins, proceeding to skim through it. You mumble aloud as you read through the section, finally finding what you were looking for.

“Our investigation has shown immature piglin’s start growing out their tusks between the young years of 6-10. Observed to be painful as they must outgrow the infant tusks. Many of the young seem to favour a certain mushroom native to the Nether at this time, acting as some type of numbing agent.” You look though the rest of the page and sigh, as helpful as the information is they never clarified which type of mushroom was used to help. Not that it mattered, Techno didn’t seem in any condition for a trip and you were certainly not going to just leave him here alone. You settle for a more human approach to the problem, sitting him back on his bed and handing him a bag of ice, he eyes you questionably.

“Don’t give me that, mister. When people get bad toothaches we usually numb the pain with some ice, you’ll also only be eating soft foods for a bit so you don’t hurt jaw more.” You hear him sigh, displeased. “I’ll make you some mashed potatoes.” Instantly he perks up again, you chuckle at this. “Alright, you try to relax for I bit, okay. Once this is over we’ll go back to our regularly scheduled routine.” He nods and you ruffle his hair, to his dismay, stepping away to get started on those mashed potatoes.

A week later and your garden is coming along great, showing signs of sprouting already. Phil had come by to visit a couple days ago, more then happy to give you a hand once you explained what was happening, sadly Kristen had to say back, apparently their own child was being rowdy, something about sand. With the extra hand you were able to check in with Techno more, switching ice packs when they melted and making sure he still had something to do, his jaw may have been hurting but that didn’t mean he couldn’t do anything. Today, while spreading some fresh bonemeal you hear someone approach, looking over to see Techno.

“Hey kiddo. Wanna help spread the rest of this on the carrots for me?” You smirk when he gives you an annoyed look.

“Do I have too.” He drones, you roll your eyes.

“Farming is just as important as fighting. Also those tusks are looking great.” You quickly add the last part. Techno looks at you confused, you summon your sword as it was the quickest reflective you had and let him see the newly grown in tusks.

“Whoa. So that’s why my mouth feels weird.” He inspects himself.

“I’m sure you’ll get used to them soon enough. Now about those carrots.”

“Yeah, I’m going.” He gives a light huff and takes some bonemeal from you, you smile. Yup, today’s gonna be a good day.

Taglist:

@maxismp1

@justmare

@anon-duck

[starryinkart]

MURDER DRONES THEORY??

So, me and my significant other were talking about CYN and N’s relationship as siblings and we were talking about the Murder Drones theme song “Murder Brings” that goes…

"Winter rains down on the ashes,

Obviously referencing the state of Copper 9 and possibly other planets that have been destroyed.

Mother makes fuel from the bones,

We know that the Solver makes fuel from the bones to survive. In Episode 7, CYN in Tessa mentions multiple times they are “starving” and “let’s eat” only to N. We know the solver finds N interesting and he’s is its favorite due to the fact that he “likes doing anything” and it likes to mess with him, but also because him and CYN considered themselves siblings. There could be ALOT of other reasons but N is important to the Solver one way or another, so important that it even mentioned apologizing to his clones if he died. But more on this in a sec…

Murder rips gods from the masses,

This also confused me a bit, but now that we know that the Absolute Solver causes the hosts infected to have powers similar to gods and basically reshape the world around them with out much explanation or hows as of now, I’m assuming it’s referencing that murdering beings/drones, singles/revives out those who are special/infected with the solver from the masses and turns them into mini gods.

Basically Children of the Solver.

Murder brings, murder brings"

"Murder Drones"

Self explanatory. Murder Drones were basically confirmed to be the solvers pets, being sent to wipe out any resistance from solver users who can end up beating it, or make the process of consuming the substance it needs to survive easier and quicker, so the AS can move onto the next planet faster. Murder brings, Murder brings. Murder Drones. Which signifies the end of those who are being destroyed by them.

———

Now that that is analyzed, we are back to CYN and N!

The solver seems to see the DDs as pets, CYN its host. Whether CYN is partly still in there as herself trapped in her own mind or long gone we don’t know, but we do know N and her were very close. It seems to see the DD as creations, helpers, children it saved from death and the Solver holders as strength, pathways to its goal, another form of children in some sick way.

Then in the theme song, we hear context about a “MOTHER”, which in the context of the recent reveals, makes somewhat sense. All these solver beings, whether modified by the solver or inheriting its power came from the solver in some way. If it wasn’t for the solver salvaging N,V,J and the other DDs, we never would have had the threat Uzi and her colony, as well as other planets being wiped out and the solver gaining more power. Or Uzi/Doll developing the solver, Nori dying to the DDs, Khan having to put her out of her misery, Nori being gone causing most of the problems in Uzis life, as Nori said in Episode 7 etc etc. Basically the DDs do the work to keep their savior/creator/ MOTHER fed and powerful, giving her fuel, and in return, she makes them safe, not discarded and useful where the humans disposed them as WDs. Perfect bases for a new civilization seeing this Eldritch Being as their god.

Now, I’ve noticed something. Since the beginning of the series, the concept of Mother hasn’t been brought up again. Mother needing fuel from the bones. Unless we see CYN as Mother which I doubt, I would say Mother is the MAIN Solver Entity. The Eldritch beings we’ve seen are just smaller versions of the Real Solver, with Eldritch J and CYN, and recently that unknown being chasing N and Nori in the mines in Episode 7, which could possibly be Tessaritch. Either that or the idea was scrapped, but I feel like it is important. We definitely haven’t seen the real form of the Absolute Solver yet, and we might not until Episode 8 or we get a Season 2 (if we do, hoping we do!), but I feel like this is an interesting idea to latch onto when thinking for The Solver, and that it also relates itself to many names, Mother might be one of them. Especially if its goal after it consumes the universe and all of humanity/species, is to restart the universe in its own image and ways.

Lastly, if CYN and N were siblings and the concept of Mother has been brought up…

We know why CYN is important, as she was presumably Patient 0 and made a pact not to discard her for CYNS body and service. That’s why she is important to the solver.

But why is N, besides him being nice to it and just liking doing anything? And always surprising the solver? Unless there’s something else we don’t know yet? Or maybe that’s it and he really is just a sick plaything for the solver.

Who knows?? But I guess we’ll probably see more of this concept in Episode 8, or beyond depending how far the show goes. Even if not, I have some pretty good ideas for my Skin and Bones AU if it isn’t expanded on in the show.

Sorry if this was a bit confusing, it’s SUPPPERR late and I’m SUPPPPERR tired. I’ll edit this tomorrow if anything seems off. This also gave me a great art idea so, the creative brain is whirring. /gen

[stupjam]

floyd and pearl drone jet force gemini and side order helpers

[ask-one-orion-pax]

uh, Hiya! I'm Paradox, a Junior Archivist for the Hall of Records- I create and communicate with the security and helper drones there. . .? Dont worry, you're not in any trouble or anything! (not from me, at least) Buuuuuut. . . could i ask that when you rummage around in the History section that you uh, put them somewhere i can easily find them? I had to fly to the top of a warehouse to find the last one, since his jets were busted, the poor thing.

Oh, and I nearly forgot! Here, take this! Hands over a card It's an anonymous guest card, so next time you wanna look at any history, you can just swipe it at the entrance, and it should let you in no problem! (no breaking and entering necessary) It should also tell my drones to leave you alone as you look around.

Just don't take anything, yeah?

optics widen

Oh! Uh, yeah! Sorry about the drones! I’ll be more careful. If I can…

gasps and accepts the card

For me?! Ah! Oh my Primus, thank you!