#not that it stopped people making the mistake for 200 years

[rlyehtaxidermist]

Adrien-Marie Legendre's contributions to mathematics are numerous but will forever be overshadowed by two really really funny facts about him:

First, Legendre's constant. This is the value B that describes the asymptotic behaviour of the prime-counting function π(x) (no relation to the better known constant π):

Legendre first estimated B as 1.08366 from empirical data, but about twenty years after he died, Chebyshev proved that if B exists, its value must be exactly 1. As nobody's going to call 1 a name as lengthy as "Legendre's constant", the name was stuck to Legendre's early approximation. Having a constant named after your empirical result that turned out to be wrong, but only obviously wrong if you can compute well into the hundreds of thousands of n, is obviously pretty embarrassing, especially since naming of constants is generally pretty prestigious.

The other funny fact is that we have exactly one known image of him, a caricature by Jules Boilly. That looks like this:

[falesten-iw]

What makes you react to what's happening in Gaza? and What makes you care about human lives? Is it empathy, ideology, culture, religion, knowledge, or something else that compels you to feel and act?

What would push your government to stop saying, "Israel has the right to defend itself"? What would make columnists stop focusing on self defense and what the demonstrators or students are doing "wrong" and instead use their platform to pressure their government to do what's "right" to stop this ongoing genocide? When did you start caring, and when will you start acting?

Is it when you have Palestinian friends?

When Palestinian children begged for food, safety, and water?

When over 45000 Palestinians had been killed & 98000 injured ?

When left-wing political parties around the world started criticizing Israel?

When Palestinian and Israeli human rights organizations sounded the alarm for years?

When protesters took to the streets every week? Do you still hear their voices?

When human rights organizations like Amnesty International or Human Rights Watch documented the atrocities? Was 60 years of human rights violations not enough?

When journalism associations worldwide recorded an unprecedented number of journalists killed in such a short period?

When UN agencies like the World Food Program or UNRWA reported on the humanitarian disaster and worsening famine?

When aid organizations like Doctors Without Borders or the Red Cross warned of the total collapse of healthcare?

When child rights organizations like Save the Children or UNICEF constantly reported on children’s acute physical and mental health crises?

When Jewish groups like Jewish Voice for Peace declared, "Not in my name"?

When the International Criminal Court in The Hague found strong evidence of crimes against humanity and began prosecuting high-ranking officials? Are you waiting for the court to tell you act?

When your children were upset after hearing what was happening in Gaza? Did that stir your parental instincts?

When the EU's foreign policy chief, Josep Borrell, repeatedly urged Israel to stop the killings?

When your favorite artist spoke out—did that make you reflect?

When students protested at universities around the world? Does the passion of young people give you hope?

When the Pope made a statement about the situation?

When military experts reported how many bombs Israel had dropped on Gaza?

When 2.5 million people were displaced under bombardment, with nowhere to escape in Gaza—a place already called the world’s largest open-air prison even before October 7?

When your employer gave you permission to speak out?

Are you waiting for Joe Biden to say the red line has been crossed and stop sending weapons?

Or are you waiting for Donald Trump to say the magic words: "Enough is enough"?

Or for Benjamin Netanyahu to say "Oh sorry that was a mistake"?

Or are you waiting for God Almighty to come down and say, "Enough is enough"?

Or for the most extreme elements in the Israeli government to say, "Now we can stop bombing"—but will there be any Palestinians left in Gaza by then?

Or will you stop waiting and act now, driven by empathy, knowledge, and solidarity with people who are being oppressed right in fornt or your eyes?

I’ve lost over 200 family members, friends, and neighbors in this genocide. I have 24 of my family’s members and 2 orphaned children, trapped in a makeshift tent and struggling to survive in this freezing winter in Gaza. Is that not enough to move you to act? Tell me then when ?—when will your humanity compel you to step in? Please, act now and donate!

Vetted and shared by @90-ghost: Link.

Verified and shared by @el-shab-hussein: Link

Listed as number 282 in "The Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser Spreadsheet" compiled by @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi : Link

Listed on the Butterfly Effect Project, number 957: Link

Additionally, Al Jazeera News has documented apart of my family's case: Link

If, for some reason, you couldn't donate via GoFundMe, you can donate via PayPal instead.

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[reveluving]

heartburn ; the ghoul x reader

summary: kindness gets people killed in the wasteland, and yet, cooper can't help it when it's you.

warnings: s~mut obv (minors DNI!), pre-war performer/entertainer!reader (for your creativity!); now an immortal ‘smoothskin’, soft as hell but our lovely ghoul is still a loud mouth, age gap but not really (think of him in his 40s & you in your 20s/30s but both in 200-ish years old), typical fallout violence & explicit language, loads of banter & fluff!

a/n: it’s here! based on this because the brain rot was (and is) so real. decided to call this the ‘la rouge series’, just to make it easier for tagging and when any lil’ pieces/asks come in. hope you guys enjoy & don’t forget to leave some sugar! ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

» curious about my writing? come & check out my main m.list!

» smut includes: possessive soft & slightly mean dom!cooper, ‘pretty girl’ & baby as pet names, dirty talk i.e. + about exhibitionism (it doesn’t happen tho!), body appreciation, nipple play, spanking, fingering, a bit of edging/teasing, unprotected s~ex (p in v), bits of aftercare but overall, coop likes it nasty.

'It was worth holding back a witty remark during moments like these if it meant seeing you light up each time.' ;

It should’ve been uncomfortable; the sheen of perspiration building up along your body, despite the cooler night, albeit marginally as opposed to the day. Had it not been for the ceiling fan, no matter how slow it gets once in a while, you were indebted to its existence. 

Especially at this exact moment, throwing your head and watching the contraption spin above you as Cooper bucked up into you. 

Lucy had dozed off, you checked an hour prior, finding her asleep in the old guestroom when you stopped by. Maximus, too, snoring away on the wingback chair next to her. Whether it was because you entered with light steps or the duo were bone-tired, you had successfully spread the thin sheets over their figures before turning the table lamp off—all of which Cooper watched behind the door, feeling an overwhelming emotion brewing in him. 

You barely knew them, hell, he was there when you shot Lucy a chilling look, realizing she was the daddy’s girl, but beyond that, you also saw two souls who were… lost. A set of strangers who wanted nothing more than to do the good thing, even if you didn't agree with their beliefs. And yet, the old caring nature in you couldn’t help but offer at least some form of appreciation for their humanity. 

You held yourself back when Lucy babbled, even if—when you wanted nothing more than to cuss her father out. You didn’t lash out when she asked about your time in the shelters way before her mother was around. You acknowledged Maximus’s good intentions, even if they were a little gullible. 

Cooper noticed it all, and fuck, if your unmoveable kindness wasn’t disgustingly the sweetest and sexiest thing he had ever seen.

It all felt like a typical romance movie after that, when you crossed paths in the living room, with you on your way to the kitchen when he stopped you. Delicately (and uncharacteristically, you might add) holding your wrist and tugging you to his chest to stare into your dreamy eyes. How a smile naturally bloomed on your face as you reached for his jaw. He indulged in your cutesy behaviour, as he always does, angling his head to kiss your palm while your eyes remained locked. It was worth holding back a witty remark during moments like these if it meant seeing you light up each time.

Not that you couldn’t handle them, if anything, putting him in his place wasn’t unheard of—you knew how to shut him up with that aura of yours from time to time.

But make no mistake; he knew how to get you tongue-tied, too.

He dipped his head, and the kiss that came was nasty. Swallowing your little gasp when he took hold of your jaw. 

“Here?” You whispered incredulously between giggles when he led you to the couch. All he gave you was a grunt, falling back into the seat and pulling you with him. Your legs snugged around his as he encouraged you to sit, not hover him. The soft tune that played in the kitchen reminded you of a scene out of a cheesy porno from your old days, and when he hummed along, you knew he had the same thoughts, too.

“It's our house,” He grinned, “Means our rules.” 

“Uh-huh,” You humoured, amused as you shook your head, but the use of ‘our’ did send butterflies to your stomach, “Mind elaborating, handsome?” 

He explained all-too-happily, “It means y'got every right throw y'guests t’the doghouse if they start yappin’ ‘bout indecency.”

You say that now, but you knew he would shoot one in between their eyes for ogling you clothed, let alone in your glory. He has done it before. 

Countless times.

But you’d kick him to the doghouse if he ever got blood on your floors. And just to piss him off further, you’d allow Dogmeat to sleep on the bed with you. 

“You'd like to do that, wouldn't you?” I snorted.

His eyes lit up, taking your words as a green light, “Y'offerin’?” 

You smacked his chest. “I know your games, cowboy. Room’s not far, y’know?”

“Aww, c'mon,” Calloused fingertips traced up your legs before slipping under the skirt, alternating between kneading and smacking your ass repeatedly to hear your squeaks, “When's the last time y'and I messed ‘round in the livin’ room?” 

“Just last week.” You huffed, partially from the way his hips rolled against yours.

With any lack of action and the undeniably warmer weather throughout the day, you thought it was time to enjoy the night breeze with a slit skirt. The hems were slightly burnt off from past confrontations, involving a near-fatal experience with a Molotov cocktail, but besides that, it was relatively intact. 

And just like you, it was Cooper’s favourite piece, too.

“Mm,” He acknowledged with a grunt, “Far too long t’me.”

He leaned back, arms spread across the backrest while looking at you expectantly

“Y’gon’ take it off f’me or…?” He asked. You rolled your eyes—as if you could ever refuse him. 

But you couldn’t just give it to him, right?

You sat back, poised and coy, toying with him when you gazed up at him through your lashes. In the mood to give him a little show as it seemed like your guests were going to stay out cold for a while.

You were definitely teasing him when you popped the buttons of your shirt, only to let it droop around your elbows, just enough to get a glimpse of your cleavage and pesky black bra. 

Reaching over, you dragged your index finger from his Adam’s apple, down to the collar. His overcoat long gone for your convenience, uncovering his chest without problems.

He was always intrigued, and if he was being honest, in disbelief by your fascination—by your need to have him unclothed in some form of way, despite his condition. The wariness grew over time, and he had not only relished it in but encouraged you for it, too. 

Bunching up and pushing your skirt to the side, his fingers rubbed your pussy through your panties. He sighed, feeling the patch of wetness that soaked through the fabric. He was excited as you were, eager to feel you against him as he shifted under you.

He raised his fingers to his lips, sucking on his middle finger sloppily and groaning at your taste before dipping them under your panties. He straightened, pulling you forward by the back of your head as he prodded a finger into you. The position had you arching, chest to chest as he forced you to moan in his ear. 

At your mewls, he was more than content to give you another, sinking his ring finger in bit by bit to feel you clench desperately. 

He revelled in the warmth, the tightening of your warm walls as if fearing he'd pull out. The more you felt him curl inside you, the more useless it was to muffle your cries. The embarrassing squelch didn’t help either, but how couldn’t you, with that romantic stunt he pulled moments ago?

He tapped on your hips, silently requesting you to hold yourself up for a moment while he shoved his pants down. His cock stood with pride, twitching at the cool air and the anticipation to feel what his digits were feeling.

Pushing your panties to the side, he lined up the head of his cock to your pussy.  He was practically dreaming of feeling you sink onto him at once, already bucking his hips to fill you to the hilt. Instead, you took him in ever so slowly, bit by bit before raising your hips till there was nothing more than the tip of him in you. Taking him in little by little as he teased you with his fingers.

“Y'tryin’ t’kill me?” He gritted out.

“You can handle it.” You cooed back, already losing composure as you felt up his chest.

He groaned, eyeing you dangerously only to shudder when your thighs slammed against his. You felt full, hell, you were full, needing a moment as your fingernails dug into his skin. 

“Fuuuck,” He groaned, tipping his head back though forcing himself not to close his eyes to watch your tits bounce as you moved faster, “Look at y'go. Yeah, ride m’cock, pretty girl. Juuust like that.” 

His praises had you pulsing around him, but so did his desperation. Slowing down once again to feel him buck under you. 

But there was also something else about tonight.

Familiarity was putting his feelings lightly, unable to tear his eyes off as images of the same smile, maybe just a tad more innocent about the world, flashed before his eyes. Remembering his lucky encounters with you when you were both stars. When the two of you had dreams. When your worries at the time were nothing more than bringing joy to the people who watched you perform like you had hung the moon. 

He could never forget admiring you and your artistry, similar to how you marvelled at his productions in awe, even after when they were nothing more than a man on a horseback before it all went to hell. 

And to have him before you once more, albeit a bigger menace than you thought was possible, he was still your Cooper Howard.

Your cheekiness was wiped off when his hand dropped to your ass with a sharp smack, the slap drowning out the radio for a split second.

“‘Y'had your fun.” He growled. His hands held onto you so desperately, similar to the way you grappled onto his shoulders for support.

Your button-up was sticking to your skin just below your breasts, and as much as Cooper loved the little striptease, he wanted more. 

He pulled the article further down by your sleeves, where you shuddered at the feeling of Cooper’s lips latching onto your skin. The sensation rough as he nipped at your rib. He surged forward, salivating as he sucked and tugged on your nipple. He let out a heady groan, tasting a hint of salt while rigorously bouncing you up and down his cock. 

You were what pin-ups couldn’t emulate, what poets or authors couldn’t convey with mere words. 

Anyone, surface dwellers and vaulties alike wished they could have you.

He crept one hand in between you, rubbing tight circles on your clit. He didn’t relent when you trembled, when you tightened as you came hard. Not even when you spasm, overstimulated when he continued to thrust in and out of you.

He held you down longer than you would've liked, too obsessed with the way your walls fluttered around him. Begging for some form of friction as you clamped him like a vice. The mewls that followed were music to his ears, frustrated in the cutest way when he did nothing more than flash you an infuriating smile.

A tight one, you noticed. Unable to hide his own need for long as your juices dripped down to his thighs. He was… a little sick in the head—who would’ve thought—abstaining himself from chasing the high for just a moment, just to amp up the pleasure and feel his desperation sated as if he finally deserved the ‘treat’.

“Coop…” You mewled, nearly choking on your spit as his iron-clad grip forced you to feel each and every ridge of him up to the brim, “Coop–! Please! Please move, please—fuck.”

Oh, how cruel of him to deny you. Especially when you sang for him so sweetly.

You raised your head, lips parted as his eyes bored into your teary ones. Even when you became lost in your lustful haze, only able to churn out nothing but his name as hushed moans, he couldn’t miss the small dazed smile flickering across your face. 

He couldn’t resist, reaching up to brush across the pads of your plush lips. And as hooked as you were over the proximity, you placed your hand over his, keeping it on your cheek. 

Your eyes screamed for him to go faster, to put you out of your misery. He pitied you to some degree when he rolled his hips.

“That too much? No, y'can take it. M'pretty girl can take what I give.” 

“Gonna fuckin’ come in’ya, y’hear me?”

“Oh, you’re tearin’ up, feels really good, doesn’t it, baby?”

He slammed you down as soon as he came, thighs sticky and flushed. His grinds slowed down, chest heaving till he had his last spurts of cum in you. He traced his hands along the bruising spots he had left on your hips, then up your sides, tickling you.

The corner of his lips twitched at your tired giggle, catching your breath with your face pressed against his shoulder.

“Y’liked that?” He matched your amusement, reaching over the dry towel conveniently draped on the arm of the couch and wiping off the sweat dripping down your back. 

“Mmm.” You hummed into his skin, already comfortable against him.

“Y’really liked it,” He reiterated, finding your playful eye-roll worth it, casually dragging the cloth under your chin and the area between your breasts before tossing it to the side. He let one arm outstretched on the backrest, “Y’need some water or somethin’?” You thought for a moment; you’d need a sip or two after all that, but you could hold it off for a few minutes. 

“In a bit,” You returned to snuggling in his arms, much to his satisfaction, “Can't you just carry me to bed?” 

“I would, but…” He trailed off. You followed his line of sight when it fell to his lap, not only reminding you of the mess but also if he stood up, well, you might as well fall with him if his pants dropped to his ankles. You knew he could clean you up and buckle his pants before carrying you to your room with no problem, he just didn’t feel like it.

And, well, you understood him.

“Fine,” You sighed, feigning resignation even though a little smile was playing on your lips. You knew each other too well, “But if I hear rushed footsteps or that girl yapping about ‘my eyes’, I blame you.”

“Not the first time you’ve ever blamed me for anythin’—m’poor ol’ heart,” He pretended to weep, placing a hand on his chest, only to catch yours when you tried to smack him for it, “See? Unloved, by m’own girl.”

You shared a laugh, and when he pulled his rest on your waist once more, you knew none of you were going anywhere. 

In minutes, you were finally able to take in your surroundings, recognizing the chorus playing in the background, a classic of Dean Martin’s, one that even Cooper couldn’t help but hum to. It was soft, no more than within your hearing range, even bobbing his head to the beat. You followed, too, and to your surprise, the two of you coincidentally sang a particular line together. 

♫ Your love made it well worth waiting ♫

♫ For someone like you ♫

You turned your head to head to the side before he could look at you after spotting the knowing smile he was sporting. And as the song came to an end, eyes droopy as he instinctively rubbed your back, his hat tipped down. 

You couldn’t help it, craning your neck and planting one final kiss, to which he eagerly returned before your bodies melded into each other once more. Relaxed and protected from the dangers outside your safe haven, even for just a moment. So long as both of you were still breathing, you’d take the bull by its rotting horns in stride.  

♫ Everybody loves somebody sometime ♫

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

a/n: fun fact! ignoring the fact that the concept of the game is inspired by the 50s and burlesques would no longer be as famous then, one of the many entertainer options I imagine for the reader (depending on the fic) is burlesque (?) dancer, which very much inspired this piece! not necessarily as her job in the old days but someone who knows a thing or two about it! but again, as the reader, you have the right to imagine whoever you or your mc however you’d like! ;; gorgeous rose divider by @firefly-graphics ♡

[lavender-romancer]

Starving

Astarion x (Durge) Reader

CW: angst, fluff, sexual tones

He needed you. But in his dark pit of starvation he feared he pushed you away past the point of return.

*°*°•.˜”*°•.˜”*°•.˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”°*

You didn't seek love in Astarion no matter how much you wanted it. What would affection and adoration do for him when what he really needed was a friend, a confidante. Someone he would never think was using him. After so many years of abuse that violated his very understanding of intimacy and consent, you wouldn't dream of overstepping any boundary in existence. Trying to talk him off a metaphorical ledge of ostracism was more important than physical urges. He didn't need to feel alone or terrified someone would hurt him again. Whilst Astarion could easily protect himself, you decided that when he wasn't hiding in the shadows you would protect him from any enemy he came across.

After saving Faerûn the two of you had decided to live together, much to Astarions confusion, you wanted to stay close to him. Offer up your blood freely to him and create somewhere that felt safe for him. He was still plagued with nightmares, but you began reading deeper into alchemy to try and help him through his trances.

He never understood why you were so supportive of him. 200 years and he never met anyone so genuinely dedicated without expecting much in return. All you asked was that he wouldn't run away if they had an argument and that he wouldn't feed on any other people. It was simple and there was a deep rooted respect between the both of you no matter how much you flirted with one another, there was a boundary. It had never been crossed, he had never been touched without giving his consent, just as Astarion would never touch you or bite you without consent.

Why you had decided to help and live with him after everything that happened was beyond him. Why not Shadowheart? Or maybe Halsin? Even Gale would- Astarion had to stop himself in thought as he remembered how utterly boring he found Gale. He was much better company, even with a very slight fondness for the wizard, Gale was hardly a casual conversationalist. Mostly resorting to threats about hurling a fireball at someone or casually reminding everyone he was a walking bomb. No, Astarion was more fun. Maybe that was why you liked being around him? But he had become so comfortable with you, he found it so easy to talk about his past when the two of you would sit by the fire in your respective arm chairs and read.

Those moments in front of the crackling logs were monumentally special to him, he had no idea how to express his gratitude

You expected so little, asked for much less and respected him. Whenever he would make a mistake or break something he would immediately start profusely apologising, still mentally conditioned to expect a physical punishment regardless of remorse. But all you did was ask for his help to clean up the mess and you both moved on, you were two barely functioning adults but seemed to help one another. You still remembered little from your past, your childhood or anything in between but helping Astarion gave you a purpose that mattered. It was hard to focus on your own shortcomings when you had a whiny (bitchy) vampire to live with and help. But it worked. The two of you were trying to be normal and doubted that you could on your own.

Whilst the two of you had your own demons you were in a pact of some sorts, neither of you wanted to leave the other to deal with those demons alone. Your other companions were constantly confused by whatever your relationship was. Assuming it was romantic and sexual but, being even more confused upon finding out it wasn't. There was always a feeling something would happen between the two of you, but neither you, nor Astarion would admit it. Both of you too scared that you would lose the other forever if anything romantic happened.

“What wine would you like?” You asked, walking into the front room holding two bottles of red. Astarion was sitting in his armchair illuminated by the fire. The orange hue danced around the shadows of his face and it made you want to take him in your arms and never let go.

“Whatever is older, darling. Things do rather improve with age you know.” Astarion replied with a slight smirk and you rolled your eyes.

He couldn't take his eyes off you as you left, the way you leant against the doorway showed the curve of your stomach and hips. Astarion had to snap his brain out of it as he realised he was staring at the curve of your breasts as you turned to leave. Why was he so unbearably horny today? He supposed it was the night that he usually fed on you. Maybe his bloodlust created a different kind of lust all together? He had been admiring you like this for too long now, it couldn't be bloodlust that made his cock twitch and the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Sparing quick looks as you made a confused face when you were reading and got to a word you struggled with, he loved when you would ask for help so openly and without shame . It was something he desperately envied about your character. Your nose would sometimes scrunch up when he would tell you how to pronounce the word because apparently it was “stupid to have silent letters”. But recently, especially when he had been feeding on you, he couldn't stop wanting to touch you. He wanted to pull you close and never let you go, fuck you for hours and never leave your side.

“I made something for you. Well. Decanted I suppose.” You walked back into the front room with two goblets of wine and a vial of something tucked under your arm.

“What's that?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. After setting the goblets down you handed the vial to him. He already knew what it was before looking more closely, he could smell it. Your beautiful sweet blood.

“For your convenience.” You smiled down at Astarion but he didn't look best pleased. You thought this might be easier, at least for you. Everytime he fed on you all you wanted was to touch him, get some kind of friction because to your shame it made you so ridiculously aroused.

“When did you…” his voice trailed off and your palms began to sweat.

“Do you not like the idea?” You asked sheepishly, ready to snatch the vial back.

“Well, darling, the feeding process is a nice experience and it…” he was trying to find any words to retain the physical closeness you had whilst feeding. “Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you last time it happened?”

“What makes you ask that?” You sat down in the armchair adjacent to his.

“I…” He felt if he opened up that things would never be the same. So it was easier to close everything off again. “If you would like to change things I can go back to stalking other pretty things in the night.” He narrowed his eyes.

“Sometimes you're impossible. This is more convenient for when I'm not here or when I-”

“When you eventually leave, you mean.” The words crawled out of his mouth with such malice.

“I did not say that, Astarion. Stop acting like a child and communicate!” You yelled back as the heat rose into your face and your eyes began to prick.

“Oh shall I get on my knees and pray to the saint that has allowed me to exist with her blood? There are plenty of places I can get it if you won't offer up your neck for free!” He fired back, getting just as riled up.

“I'm freely giving you my fucking blood! I'm still giving it to you. What difference does it make? I try so hard. So fucking hard to make you feel secure and understood but you react to everything like a child!” You stood up and walked a few paces towards the fire with your back to him.

“I didn't realise I was such an inconvenience in your pretty little head.” Astarion almost laughed, a petty attempt to get a rise out of you when he was quickly running out of options to keep you close to him. You stayed quiet for a moment, one hand on your stomach, the other leaning on the mantle above the fire as if you were bracing yourself for the pain to follow.

“I just want the best for you. For our friendship and I…” your voice broke as you choked down the urge to sob.

“Yes, our precious friendship.” He sounded so vindictive that you wondered if he really cared about you at all.

“Do you not want it? Our friendship?” Your voice was so small and defeated.

“Oh, making me the bastard in this situation is just pathetic. After two hundred years of pure shit where I was always in the wrong and punished for it I don't want to hear it anymore!” He roared back at you. When he stood up you actually flinched, a fleeting thought crossed your mind that this was when he would ignore every warning and just drink you dry.

“I-” You tried to speak but you couldn't. All you wanted was to cry, just let it all out because the emotions were too much for you to carry anymore. The carnal desire you felt for him, the deep and earnest care you felt and the sense of responsibility for his well being. It always seemed that you were in control when really he held all the cards.

“Fucking hells.” Astarion muttered angrily before storming upstairs. You could finally sit back in your chair and cry.

Staring into the flames that usually brought you so much comfort but now, they just made you yearn for a life that was never lived. So long ago he said you were the only person he had ever truly cared about, that he would never hurt you and never leave your side. Those longing looks you'd steal when he'd laugh or the way you played into his flirting from the first day you met him. To this day you remembered nothing before the nautiloid, but, you knew Astarion. You knew he'd be there when you came home and would listen to your anxieties. He had always been in your life as far as you were concerned. So why had everything changed over something so ridiculous as the way you gave him your blood?

You pulled your knees up to your chest and sobbed, he wouldn't be there when you woke up and you knew it was all over. He's gone now, he's running away from your grasp and you'll never get him back no matter what you want from him- the voices in your head told you. You hit your forehead repeatedly trying to get them to shut up but they wouldn't subside. Why did you ever think he loved you? That he needed you for more than a pretty little snack? You wait around hoping he'll take more fucking interest in you when he wants nothing more than your beautiful blood. You should drain him of every drop in his body. It would serve him right, the decimation of a monster.

You wanted to scream. To pull out your brain and scrub out the voices, hurt yourself to a point where you would no longer care about what Astarion did to you. But how could any pain, any anguish overcome the love you felt for him? The Urge. The Urge was clawing it's way out of the depths of your psyche. How could it really be gone when it had penetrated every memory you currently held. You didn't know life without the torturous spasms and depraved thoughts. You thought they might end with the death of your butler but, no. The Urge was ever present.

The fire crackled and lit the shadows of the room, yet you couldn't feel its warmth as you sat cold and alone. He was your warmth, your sun, your stars. Whenever you spoke to him your day would be brighter and your head clearer. Seeing him would make you smile and make you feel safe. You cursed yourself, you should never have been so dependent.

He felt like shit. Utter shit. Why had he exploded like that? What was the point when you didn't do anything wrong, it was your neck he drank from and yet he felt some kind of authority? No, it was not his place nor his decision and he really did feel like the fucking idiot. As he was about to leave his room to apologise he heard it. The noise that haunted him whenever he heard it. Your sobs, that permeated into his soul and made his dead heart ache. He adored you so deeply that whenever it felt like you were pulling away he would double down on harshness. It made him feel in control of the situation because, if he was the first to leave then he won.

Astarion sat down quietly on the stairs. Wanting to wait till your sobs subsided but they seemed full of a sadness that would never subside. All you ever did was help him, try to find a way for him to walk in the sun, sate his bloodthirst and yet… sometimes in his irrational brain it felt like you were trying to find a way to fix him so you could leave. When he was broken you could fix him in a never ending loop. But as soon as he was put back together there was no reason for the two of you to exist together. He would never get to be close to you, never touch you or hear you laugh. But now, due to his own stupidity you would leave anyway but this time with hatred for him.

Just his luck that he would be turned into a monstrous vampire, be threatened with turning into a mindflayer but the true evil was always inside of him. It felt ridiculous when he pondered on it. He was so at home here with you, so comfortable and safe but it was never enough. The evil inside of him would always rise up and ruin everything around him.

He felt like such a fucking bastard to make you cry. Make you feel so lonely that you would feel the need to cry, which you rarely did. Once or twice in the many years you'd known one another he had held you as you cried. Whispered words of support and affirmation as he held you close, it was such a rarity that he reminisced on those moments more than he cared to admit. Being able to be a comfort to you was ridiculously cathartic for him.

For centuries he had been a death sentence to everyone he got close to. Cazadors favourite errand boy, collecting lost pretty souls for him to gorge his ascension depravity on. He would never overcome that guilt, not that he should- it was his cross to bear. But being your comfort, your home… it made it all less soul crushing. When Astarion was with you he felt worthy, like he had a purpose to be your protector when you were really his. He felt safe and respected and if he ruined that then maybe he deserved to step into the sun.

Deciding it would be better if he slipped away quietly he waited for your sobs to subside. Suspecting you were asleep he crept down the stairs and stayed to the back wall, hoping to avoid his shadow being plastered on the wall in front of you.

“Is this it then?” You said quietly and it surprised even Astarion that his hiding skills had become so lax of late.

“What?” Was all he could say, bewildered at why you would care if he would leave.

“Is this it? Are you leaving me?” You slowly stood up and faced him, your eyes still watering.

“I thought it might be easier if I left when I thought you were asleep. It appears my hiding deficiency needs some serious attention.” He tried to smile and make some joke to thinly veil his panic.

“Please. Don't, Astarion.” You took one step closer to him and he wasn't sure if you were referring to him leaving or the poorly timed joke. The silence continued into what felt like hours to him. Having no clue what the right response would be, he could only remain quiet and hope that you wouldn't tell him to leave.

“Do you want to leave?” You asked, looking down at the floor and trying to hide the very clear tears in your eyes.

“I- if it would be best for you then I will.” Astarion was teetering between each foot, one closer to you and the other closer to the door. Maybe if he left now it would all be less painful, he could learn to forget you. But if he stayed, what if you grew to hate him? He couldn't survive it.

“But do you want to leave?” You asked again, surprised by your pleading tone.

“I don't know.” Was all he said and it was enough for you to lose all hope, you wanted to cry until it hurt but it wasn't fair on him. If he wanted to leave then you shouldn't be restricting him.

“If this is the last time I ever see you, I'm sorry. I thought I was doing the best thing for our friendship because I couldn't remain your friend and-” You interrupted yourself, because it wasn't fair to practically guilt trip him.

“In all the time I have known you, you have only made decisions to better others. But, what do you want?” Astarion turned to fully face you, no longer edging towards the door.

All you wanted to say was that you wanted him. You just wanted him, in whatever form that would take it didn't matter as long as he stayed. You could remain friends, though you'd always crave more but, it was better than never seeing him again.

“I want,” you paused, pondering on a response that wouldn't send him running away into the night. “I want you to be happy.” Astarion looked at the floor and smiled.

“My ever generous confidante. That can't be the only thing you desire, the only thing that you want. My happiness is inconsequential compared to your own.” He wanted to reach out, show that you didn't have to worry about him. Prove that he could stand on his own without needing you but he wasn't so sure it was true. The constant insecurities he had were only amplified by the possibility that you would see his shortcomings and push him away.

“Inconsequential? How can you even consider that? I care about you more than myself sometimes and I don't see it as a weakness. We support one another, help one another and what is the point of any of this if I have to pretend that something matters more to me than your happiness? You have no idea how important you are, how loved.” You said it without thinking and the fear was evident in your eyes to Astarion as he had the same look on his own face.

As much as he wanted your adoration, your love? It absolutely terrified him. Was it all just bloodlust? Was he using you as some willing blood bag? If he stopped feeding on you at any point would it all fade away into nothingness and he'd realise none of it was love, it was his insatiable hunger? The silence between the two of you felt cursed, the one to break it would have to be a stronger man than he was because he was too scared to say a word. Rooted in place, not able to flee because of that look in your eyes. He couldn't leave whilst you looked so terrified, he had an urge to take you in his arms. But he didn't, he stayed in place

“Astarion?” You sounded terrified.

“Your life would be so much easier without me.” He sounded so genuinely exasperated, unable to understand why you would want him in your life. His eyes welled up and he looked so beautiful in the light of the fire and, you couldn't help but feel more drawn to him.

“And?” You replied, more determined than ever to prove how you cared for him.

“That's all you have to say?” He asked and you nodded, it elicited a laugh from him that sounded hollow and yet relieved.

“You make my life better. It feels enriched and happy, you are the only person who calms me and comforts me. The only one I am completely comfortable with, the only one I want to be around this much.” you held one of his hands tentatively.

“You’re shaking, darling.” Astarion softly told you, leading you to your armchair and sitting you down.

“If your only reason is that it is better for me, please stay. I want you to stay here with me and we can carry on as we always have and-” he stopped you mid sentence putting a hand up.

“I don't think we can continue as we always have my darling.” He let out a sigh and you dug your nails into the arm of the chair.

“Then…what do we do?” You asked, still feeling like you were shaking and feeling even more pathetic by the minute.

“I mean, I don't know how any of this works, what comes next or what you exactly want from me.” whilst he couldn't reach your gaze he didn't seem upset.

“Well what do you want from me?” Your voice was strained and anxious, you were so completely convinced he would tell you that he wanted space from you.

“More, more than this. I don't… how the hells do you do all of this?” He sounded a mixture of happy and confused.

“Slowly. If that's what you want, it's not exactly that much of a transition from how we were. Less longing glances and more actual contact I suppose? I haven't ever had a companionship. Well, if I have it's before I lost my memory so this is… intimidating.” Your eyes flicked from the floor to Astarions anxiously.

“I don't remember ever having it either. We really are the weirdos of our odd little group aren't we. Even La'zel has probably had a companion. Losing to La'zel when it comes to romance is not something I plan on continuing.” Astarion held your hand tighter, looking up into your eyes.

“I care about you, so much.” You placed a hand on his cheek and he leant into it.

“Stop being so nice to me. Makes me feel like a good person. Ugh.” Astarion mocked disgust but you knew he loved the praise.

“Only leave me if you want to. Will you promise me that?” your thumb stroked across his cheek and you saw a single tear fall across your hand.

“Darling, I will never want to leave you, and the fact that you willingly give me a choice makes it clearer that I want to stay with you.” Astarion pulled your hand up to his face and kissed the back of it before hugging you around your stomach. Leaning his head on your lap. You finally relaxed and stopped shaking, stroking his hair in the firelight, you both existed in perfect happiness.

[leebrontide]

I have this theory rolling around in my brain that vampires and other humans-turned-immortal have distinct extra developmental and emotional stages. Like, while it may vary from individual to individual, you expect a maudlin existential phase around 200 (the terrible 200s, the older vamps scoff), then from 200-300s vampires get the absolute fuckits and get reckless and everybody has to keep them from causing trouble. Around 400 they settle down again, but often become obsessive and withdrawn and get way too in to some hobby or subject. And by 600 they either reintegrate into human society, able again to appreciate the daily eddies of life like a mortal does, or they stop doing much of anything at all.

That's all provided they live that long. Most vampires don't make it 20 years past their turning, or they try a leap too far sometime in those 300s and don't make it.

I like to think a lot of those 600 year old ones make an effort to guide the younger. But they learned a long long long time ago that they can't control the outcomes, and that people, including vampires, will make their own mistakes. They care, but they have a level of peace. They have done so much grieving and changing and surviving that not much really rattles them anymore. they are often kind, but eerie that way.

[commsroom]

this is a sensitive topic for me, so i really hate that i have to make this post, but unfortunately it keeps becoming relevant: stop infantilizing hera, and stop making excuses for it.

"well, she's literally four years old" she's been fully conscious with an adult mind for most of that, awake for most of that, and in multiple places at once for most of that. do you think that is comparable to a child's life experience, or is it maybe representative of something else?

i assume you understand why it would be wrong to call lovelace "literally two" because the fact that she is a clone is textually representative of the trauma she's been through. i also assume you understand why hera occasionally making flippant or frustrated comments about her own struggles living as an AI is different from the text telling you who she is or how you should regard her. it's science fiction, and it's a show that uses science fiction concepts in ways that resonate with real ones. the ultimate fact of the matter is that hera could've been in a lab for 30 years, or for 200 years, in a different setting, and be written the exact same way: as a sheltered, isolated adult woman without real life experiences.

hera is not a child or teenager in a natural stage of development. she is an adult who never went through the usual stages of development or life milestones, who has adult friendships and responsibilities, but who feels she is permanently ill-equipped to handle her life because no one ever taught her how, or gave her the space to make mistakes. if you don't understand why this distinction is important in discussing her trauma, that there are real, adult people who feel the same way, people who feel they've only been alive for four years, women who were never girls... then i really don't know what to say to you.

and i guess i have to say it: it's inherently infantilizing to say her peers see her the same way they see an actual child, or to say she needs them to be parental figures, especially eiffel of all people. "adult women have parents too" not ones that are 30 year old men! and parents have responsibilities to children, even adult children, that are different from the responsibilities two unrelated adults who care about each other have. it fundamentally reframes hera's most equal relationship in a way that diminishes her autonomy within it. (and if you're arguing it's all equal anyway, then what does it add? why don't you consider friendship as important?)

i know some people will dismiss that point because i view eiffel and hera romantically, but i've never argued you have to. if you want to go down that road, it says some pretty awful things about the couple of writers and actors who also view it romantically if you think she was meant to be viewed as a child, much less comparable to his child. you're inventing problems that don't canonically exist.

i just don't understand why you would make it about eiffel at all - and eiffel does not have the right to be a parent; the only thing that will heal his relationship with his real actual child is in relation to his real actual child - instead of discussing what a disabled, isolated, traumatized adult might be able to offer a disabled, traumatized kid. isn't the whole point of hera not being like pryce about breaking cycles? why make her a passive figure in her own story when her entire story arc is about taking control of her life?

there's no utility to this line of thought that doesn't further demean and alienate her, while implying she isn't ready to be a fully autonomous adult person. i don't think most people mean to be ableist, but hera is canonically a disabled woman, and i don't like where that line of thought leads. and yes, she's just a fictional character and can't be hurt by it, but everyone brings some real-world biases to how they engage with fiction. she's written as a marginalized adult person, and her womanhood is textually tied to defense of her personhood and autonomy (as well as a parallel to lovelace, also a marginalized woman.) to paraphrase minkowski - "you are going to show [that woman] some goddamned respect."

[terresdebrume]

I think I want to point at the elephant in the room today

The problem when we have the ever more frequent conversation of how to keep a fandom alive after the show it's based on stops airing is that we tend talk about it in a way that ignores the very real differences between the juggernauts of old fandoms like Star Trek and newer shows like Dead Boy Detectives, namely:

1. The difference in amount of material

2. The accessibility of said material

Part of the reason why Star Trek or The X-Files still have active fans so long after they aired is because those shows had multiple seasons with an average of 20 episodes each. For the X-Files' 11 seasons that's about 200 episodes each with their own storylines, themes, interesting ideas and frustrating mistakes right there to inspire Fanart, fic, meta, and any number of fanwork. I'm not even going to do the math on Star Trek: this show got about a bazillion shows

Dead Boy Detectives, and a lot of genre shows nowadays have like... Eight episodes. Ten, if we're lucky. Fandoms for procedurals or more broadly appealing shows fare better (Lone Star comes to mind, or sitcoms for example) because networks tend to keep them online longer, but genre series get ever shorter with ever fewer opportunities to really grow an audience... Think of all the shows that got popular on Tumblr in the past few years and tell me how many got a proper season? Shadow and Bones was cancelled. My Lady Jane: one season. Gentleman Jack, two (three?). Good Omens: maybe 3, depending on how the network handle the Gaiman situation. The Umbrella Academy got four seasons. Stranger Things, with 5 seasons and 42 episodes managed to equate roughly 2 seasons of the X-Files (probably not even that if you account for episode length). The Witcher currently has 3 seasons for 24 episodes.

Contrast this to shows like Dead Boy Detectives with, again, eight episodes. Maybe 16 if we get really lucky, but I'm not holding my breath. This is just materially WAY LESS soil for a fandom to grow in. It's not that people aren't motivated, it's that as much as you want to keep it going, there's only so much to say about 8 episodes! George Rexstrew, who plays one of the leads, even recently admitted that he's running out of things to say about his performance, and who can blame him? So after a while, you gotta turn to AU which by definition are always going to be potential hits and misses, since they diverge from what brought people to the show in the first place.

I know we're all real good at spinning yarn but sometimes it gets really hard not to run out of fiber.

As for accessibility: the Big Olds benefitted from two things. One, they were broadcast on much wider-reaching channels, if not from the start, then when they eventually made it on public networks. They had a regular play time, and you could stumble onto them by accident, this getting interested and picking it up. And two: the popular shows had a decent chance of getting tape or DVD sets, which made them easier to own and show to your friends so they could binge the story and join you in the fandom

By comparison, look at the barrier of access for Dead Boy Detectives:

Need to have a Netflix account

Need to see it somewhere in your recommendation (good luck if you come in more than a month after it released)

Need to see people talk about it as they binge (need to be in the right place at the right time, and by that I mean where fandom happens since Netflix has a habit of doing zero advertising for new shows)

Need to keep paying for a Netflix account if you wanna rewatch, or figure out how to do a piracy, which is getting more difficult and riskier every year

Need to be willing to get invested in a forever unfinished story

And when on top of that the writing in the first episode is, let's say it frankly, far from the best, that is a LOT of obstacle to overcome for a pretty small sandbox

So like, yeah, sure, we should be willing to keep making a fandom happen after a show ends, but at some point we can't ignore that the effort it takes to keep fandoms alive is getting way more intense than it used to be

[bbxkruger]

Embarrassing…

Summary: One humiliating memory you’ll never let Reiner live down is that one time he grabbed some random woman’s ass at a social event, thinking it was you.

Pairing: Reiner Braun x Reader

A/N: this is very short and I did not proofread or anything, just a silly thought I had

You two were at an art exhibit that Jean was being featured in. It had been a while since you two showed up, not long after the art was unveiled you had been separated from Reiner by some old friends to catch up. After another hour or so, he excused himself from Connie and Jean to take a stroll around the gallery, he saw you on the other side of the room looking at some wired sculpture of a bird.

Well, at least he thought it was you. To this day he still doesn’t know how he mistook that woman for you. Maybe it was the wine that was given out to the guests, or the fact that the woman had the same hairstyle as yours as well as the same colored dress.

He approached you, naturally hovering behind you and looking at the sculpture for a few moments before giving you a small tap on the butt to get your attention. He smirks when he feels you bristle in response.

“Hey, did you see the—“ His mind goes blank for a moment when he looks down to see some random ass woman looking up at him, a rather bewildered expression on her face from her ass being touched by a stranger.

“Oh— dear god!” He exclaimed, much louder than he would have intended in a normal scenario, feeling his face pale before turning beet red in mortification. Within that second he must have jumped back five feet from the woman, his hands raised in front of him as word diarrhea starts coming out of his mouth.

He tries to make himself look as non threatening as possible to the woman, wanting to show her that what he did was purely by an error of judgement. This only caused the woman to be disturbed even more, watching a 6’2 200 something pound man with a bright pink face stuttering and stumbling over his words.

“No— I wasn’t— Oh my god— You look like my wife, you see… and— You and her have the same— No, not like that! It’s just your hair looks like hers so—!“ His sputtering is cut off by your hand on his shoulder, the commotion of his outburst drawing attention from people nearby. Once the lady saw you, she understood what would have taken him years to properly articulate. She gives him an awkward nod in forgiveness, before walking away.

The rest of the night you assured him it was a mistake, not only did he feel awful for touching that woman but it was even worse because he touched a woman that wasn’t you. You wanted to hit him for being so ridiculous when he said he expected to be angry at him. After that, he insisted on going up to the woman, wanting to make it up to her somehow.

“Reiner, you’re not buying her that piece, it’s almost eight thousand, dollars…” You hissed at him in exasperation, watching him duck his head and shove his hands in his pockets as a response before shuffling away from the painting he was pointing at.

He seriously considered driving the car off the road on the way home, knowing he won’t be able to sleep properly for the next few months without that crossing his mind. And the fact that you couldn’t stop laughing didn’t help much once you guys left the exhibition, either.

[love-and-deepspace-wiki]

Jeremiah

Age: Unknown

Occupation: (former) Backtrackers member; (current) owner of Philo flower shop

Workplace: Philo flower shop

Residence: Philo flower shop

Note: I'll be covering Jeremiah in two posts. This first one is general information about him. The second will explore a bit of speculation I have concerning his identity. But first, the general info!

Details:

Jeremiah is the owner of Philo, a flower shop in Linkon City. His in-game note gives a good (and insightful) summary, so I'll start by quoting from it: "Aside from selling flowers, he had a lot of 'skills' such as creating new identities and manipulating data so [the protaganist] could enter the N109 Zone. Where did Xavier meet such a friend?"

In Xavier's birthday event story, we finally get to see his full character model!

The Present:

When Xavier takes the protaganist to Philo, she notes that the two interact like old friends and appear to be around the same age. But Xavier jokes that Jeremiah's "not young anymore, so he's a bit slow on the uptake". When Jeremiah first notices the protaganist, he freezes in surprise. But he quickly regains composure and greets her.

"Ah! Long time no... I mean, welcome to Philo. Right, Xavier mentioned you before. You're colleagues, I'm pretty sure. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Jeremiah has a vault of identities, one of which he customizes for the protagonist to aid in her entry into the N109 Zone. He also provides her with a family crest and a box of stuff to make her fake identity more convincing, if need be. When she thanks him, his response hints at familiarity before Xavier cuts him off.

"You don't have to be so formal. I just never thought I'd be able to help you. It's so..."

The Past:

World Underneath - "From the Stars"

In the World Underneath story "From the Stars", we get a glimpse into Jeremiah's past. The specific timeframe of the story is 200 years after his arrival/the crash of Traceback II. In this story, we learn that:

Jeremiah was in love with a girl named Bella (an employee at Sweetie's Cake Shop)

He had rented a house for the sole purpose of inviting Bella to dinner. He also invited Xavier to this dinner to add a "human touch".

Despite 200 years having passed, Jeremiah still can't fully understand the diverse tastes of Earthlings. Xavier frequently references his inability to get used to Earth food. So, he often relies on Xavier's insight into culinary pursuits.

After obtaining the identity of a "normal person", Jeremiah lost contact with Xavier

He had planned to propose to Bella, but she was among the casualties of the Chronorift Catastrophe. The cake shop was also destroyed in this event.

Jeremiah opened Philo flower shop where Sweetie's Cake Shop once stood and, on a necklace, he wears the ring he would've given Bella.

Backtrackers & Traceback II

The Backtrackers arrived on earth with Xavier as their leader/captain and Jeremiah as a member. Hundreds of years ago, Traceback II (their spaceship) crash landed on earth and consequently left them stranded here. After this event, the members of their group adhered to various rules, some of which are detailed below:

Nonintervention Principle:

After helping the protaganist gain entry to the N109 Zone, Jeremiah asks Xavier is he really doesn't care about their Nonintervention Principle anymore, to which Xavier replies that "some already stopped caring about it".

Later in the story, Jeremiah says the following:

"Do you know how long we've been here? All those faces in the Backtrackers- I can't remember them. Don't you have the feeling that people's memories of us are also becoming fuzzier? Especially in recent years? I agree that sticking to the Nonintervention Principle is pointless, especially for us whose presence here was a mistake. And mistakes are bound to be corrected sooner or later. Maybe we're slowly being erased as we speak."

Unwritten Rules:

In this story, the two unwritten rules mentioned are (1) changing locations regularly and (2) avoiding unnecessary contact.

Jeremiah mentions it is his responsibility to repair Traceback II's launcher, but he's yet to achieve this goal over the past 200 years. He says the ship can send out simple signals, but "the positioning system still needs some work". When he asks Xavier if there's really someone on the other side of the Deepspace Tunnel who can respond to them, Xavier says "...You will return in one piece. I'll make sure of it."

Though it had once seemed that nothing could ever tear their team apart, they all "dissolved into the mundane times of this era". But while many of their members either gave up or "left halfway", Jeremiah ultimately chose to stay onboard because he knew he couldn't be replaced. Xavier credits the other Backtracker's abilities to live peaceful lives to the fact that Jeremiah "is still holding on". But he also tells him he can always choose what life he wants to lead.

At the conclusion of one of their conversations, Jeremiah asks Xavier "Captain. Can I come back?". But Xavier just tells him to "do what you think is right".

Philos:

In various conversations with Xavier, Jeremiah hints at a connection with the planet Philos.

"Having Evol doesn't make you invincible... And you're... This isn't Philos. And we, you know, aren't truly immortal. Our kind, I mean."

He mentions that the level of technology on Earth was far behind what they had on Philos.

He says he has little hope anything will happen between him and Bella because "we don't age the way people do here. It wouldn't be fair".

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA For insisting on not paying past due library fines?

When I (nonbinary) was about 7 or so years old, I had a book report due for school and I needed to borrow some books from the library to do it. My mom took me to borrow some. My mom told me when I was done we could go back and return them before they were due back (which would be the next day). My mom took the books when I was done, put them aside to bring back the next day, and then promptly forgot. I reminded her a few times and she said she'd bring them back after she got out from work while I was at school. I believed her, until a handful of years later when I was looking to borrow one of her novels to read in high school, and I saw them buried at the bottom of a box in her closet. I talked to her about it and she said "well it's too late now, it's fine they won't care because it's been years" and I believed her. I didn't bother again with the library until about last year or so (I was 24) when I wanted to replace my old library card so that my daughter (4 at the time) could borrow some books. I am VERY good at returning the things I borrow from anyone on time because I panic and get paranoid if I don't, so I wasn't worried about making the same mistake my mom did.

The library did not see it that way. Because the books when I was 7 were taken out under my name, those debts were not my mom's- they were mine. They told me I was not allowed to replace or use a library card until I paid off my fines. I owed about $200 apparently. I told them that I was only 7 years old when I borrowed those books and that I had no way of returning them on my own without a parent or guardian, and that my parent had failed to help me return them on time. That shouldn't be on me, because again, I was 7. And I didn't realize they were never returned until nearly 10 years later. They kept saying that I had to pay the debt, and that my daughter would never be allowed to have a library card until I paid my debt or she was an adult, whichever came first.

I'm 25 now, my daughter is 5, and I've still been trying to fight off this debt, because it doesn't seem fair. I especially can't pay it now, I live off of disability and foodstamps and live in a shared shelter agreement with a family member. But my daughter loves reading, and I want her to be able to utilize the library. I also would like to start reading again, and borrowing books is the easiest way for me to do so.

My family keeps saying how I should just either pay it off or let it go, that I'm a "Karen" for bothering the librarians about this so much. I don't like being rude to people, I've been about as polite (and apparently timid according to my partner) as I possibly can be about this, so I'm really worried that me fighting this has been making it harder and stressful for the librarians. Am I the asshole? Should I just stop and let it go?

What are these acronyms?

[bau-drabbles]

a/n: inspired from all the prev posts!

your insta but you're dating aaron hotchner part 2 :")

part 1, 3, 4

liked by kate.callahan, the.davidrossi and 497 others

y/n_xo: look at my faves 🫶🥹.... and then there's aaron

view all 211 comments

its.emilyp: jumpscare warning next time 😨

d.morgan: nah he looks like he's concocting some evil plan

penny.garcia: he looks like he's going to steal christmas

reid.gram: he looks like he kidnapped my mom and held her hostage somewhere 😦

itsjj: just smile and wave, kids. smile and wave 🥲

d.morgan: crop him out next time fr 🙏

a.hotch: i'll crop you out of the team

d.morgan: say less 😍😮‍💨 least ion have an ugly smile

a.hotch: what smile? you just bare your teeth

y/n_xo: oh 😭

liked by penny.garcia, reid.gram and 489 others

y/n_xo: meme jack really quickly 🫣

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reid.gram: jack is me when hotch is asking me to get to the point even though my point was the whole theory 🙂

penny.garcia: omg me when he tells me to search something more quickly even though i'm already working high speed 🙂

itsjj: me when he plants more files on my desk even though i'm drowning in the last ones 🙂

its.emilyp: he's me that one time hotch did "team building" and then proceeded to complain the whole time 🙂

d.morgan: me when i made one mistake and he held it against me for months but goes on about forgiving and how its important to move on 🙂

the.davidrossi: me looking at him ogling @/y/n_xo for months and then passionately disagreeing he was in love

y/n_xo: so i'm sensing some of you need therapy 🧍‍♀️

a.hotch: all of you are dead to me

liked by its.emilyp, itsjj and 524 others

y/n_xo: i really got replaced 💔

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the.davidrossi: WHERE are you finding these???

itsjj: so... who's the wife in the relationship? 🤔

its.emilyp: it's rossi for sure

reid.gram: i would say hotch. the angle of the selfie says it all

d.morgan: nah it gotta be rossi, he types and cooks like a mom. sometimes he even be smelling like one

the.davidrossi: all of you are out of my will

d.morgan: i complimented your cooking and this is the attitude i get? choke

its.emilyp: you're probably immortal at this point, poisoning and sucking the life out of other people so you can drive us to insanity which would inevitably lead us to our doom. but i see right through you 😒

itsjj: sweetheart we need to stop watching horror movies at night time, okay?

a.hotch: it's not what it looks like!

y/n_xo: i don't know if i should cry or be disgusted >:(

a.hotch: baby, i haven't cheated. i promise you ❤

y/n_xo: omg could you imagine if you did with rossi? 💀

the.davidrossi: what is that supposed to mean? 🤨

reid.gram: she means you're old and embarrassing. and maybe even disgusting 🤷‍♂️

y/n_xo: i will physically mutilate you and feed you to wild dogs

itsjj: thanks for that, my kids are crying

liked by the.davidrossi, a.hotch and 478 others

y/n_xo: my bae 😍

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reid.gram: we literally have a pending case right now y/n

y/n_xo: okay? he's still a bae 😍

reid.gram: awww really? hope you guys find out you're related 😍🤞

penny.garcia: well... at least we know those frown lines are removable 😌

reid.gram: in a time like this, his frown lines are what matters to you? imagine if he was dead

itsjj: omg imagine he was and you guys were discussing his frown lines. i'd resurrect and haunt everyone on this thread

reid.gram: don't worry, your cheeto breath would give you away instantly 🤢

penny.garcia: all i'm saying is i'd want to make sure our boss got a nice makeover one last time in the coffin. and you can't do that if you have bad indentations on your forehead 💗💗

itsjj: this alone should give you employee of the year 😍

a.hotch: i think we need to have a serious talk

d.morgan: seeing hotch not angry makes me feel deeply uncomfortable

its.emilyp: no cause same. someone poke him and see if he's alive

y/n_xo: you'd think i'd kill him? 😡

its.emilyp: if you did, there'd be no one between us would there? 😏

y/n_xo: 😳

a.hotch: i'm wide awake, thank you 😠

its.emilyp: its like he's still with us 😢 i can almost feel his presence 💔

[lgchyoseop]

LGC5TH GIFT FROM CHA HYOSEOP, CHA SORI, KIM CHERRY AND JUJU!

wow... has it really been so long? five years is a lot of years, i've come and gone a couple of times, but soon i'll have a muse turning three years ! (congrats cha hyoseop, my idiot, i love you). this is an incredible community, i've gotten so many friends here, and i've had so much fun, me and my muses truly love legacy <3 as a gift for you all, i've gathered a bunch of quotes (around 200-ish), then given the quotes a number and used a randominzer to pick which quote each muse should have, so it's basically fate giving you this quote! thanks to legacy, the mods and members!

(you can use ctrl+f to search for your muses name)

ahn jaehwa “you have not failed, until you make failing stop you”

ahn yein “don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where they are, had to begin where they were”

bae heejin “tough times never last, but tough people do”

bae nathan “define success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you’re proud to live”

bae sojin “take chances, make mistakes. that’s how you grow. pain nourishes your courage. you have to fail in order to practice being brave”

baek byeongkwan “there is nothing on earth that blooms all year long. nature wasn’t created to do that and neither are you.”

baek seona “some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go”

carter jaejin “focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase”

cha hyoseop “sometimes our limitations tell us when to stop. but sometimes they can show us where to look next”

cha sori “it is not our abilities that make us who we are, it’s our choices”

chae rua “the only time you should ever look back, is to see how far you’ve come”

chen maylin “i wasn’t afraid to fail. something good always comes out of failure”

cho iseul “if you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. if you don’t, you’ll find an excuse”

cho minkyu “make failure your teacher, not your undertaker”

choi junkyu “i’d rather attempt something great and fail than to attempt nothing and succeed”

choi kai “in youth we learn, in age we understand”

gong hyejoo “there’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in” 

han hyunhee “do not fear mistakes, there are none”

han jisoo “a failure is not always a mistake, it may simple be the best one can do under the circumstances. the real mistake is to stop trying”

han noeul “hope is being able to see there is light, despite all of the darkness”

han rowon “if you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine” 

han seunghyun “one that want the fruit, must climb the tree”

hirawa emi “if you focus on results, you will never change. if you focus on change, you will get results”

hwang minki “rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine”

im yunseo “nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘i’m possible’”

ito mio “you learn more from failure than success. don’t let it stop you. failure builds character” 

jeon haru “doubts kill more dreams than failure ever will”

jo eunwoo “the secret of getting ahead is getting started”

kang maximillian “success is a state of mind. if you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success” 

kang minjun “remember, you can regret things you did not do”

kang sarang “i hold it true, what’er befall, i feel it, when i sorrow most. tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all”

kang yojoon “to be a champion you have to believe in yourself when no one else will”

kim cherry “i have not failed. i’ve just found 10.000 ways that won’t work”

kim jinhyuk “if you look closely, most overnight successes took a long time”

kim jinseo “turn your wounds into wisdom”

kim jinyoung “the best way to make your dreams come true, is to wake up”

kim nayoung “failure is a detour, not a dead-end-street”

kim sehun “only put off tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone” 

kim seyoon “don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams”

kim yujin “always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. try to be better than yourself.”

kuramoto misaki “follow your dreams, they show which way to go”

kurosawa akio “in order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear for failure”

kwon baekhyun “life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced” 

kwon hyuntae “the only thing that doesn’t change in life, is that thing changes” 

kwon sena “the sea is dangerous and its storms terrible, but these obstacles have never been sufficient reason to remain ashore”

lai wenjun “being lost is not bad, as it is what happens before you find your way”

lee hyunsoo “the elevator to success if out of order. you’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time”

lee jiho “if opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door” 

lee minji “don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant” 

lee yushin “time you enjoyed wasting, was not wasted” 

lim sanghyun “i will either find a way or make one”

liu yuxi “to lose is still to learn”

mae jasper “if you can’t fly, then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving” 

min chaeyeon “i can’t change the direction of the wind, but i can adjust my sails to always reach my destination

min hanbin “failure is simply the opportunity to try again, this time better-knowing”

min soyoun “some people want it to happen, some wish it to happen, be someone who makes it happen”

moon hayoung “don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great”

moon jiah “success only comes to those who dare attempt”

moon jino “you can’t connect the dots looking forward. you can only connect them looking backwards, so you have to trust that they will somehow connect in your future”

moon somin “do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do”

nam gyuri “the best way to predict the future is to create it”

noh areum “it is best to act with confidence, no matter how little right you have to it”

oh eunhye “life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards” 

okamoto kentaro “life isn’t about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself”

park chaekyung “we may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated”

park hyukjae “don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better. don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. don’t wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom”

park seojin “exhale the past, inhale the future”

park sujin “scars only show us where we’ve been, they do not dictate where we’ll be”

park taeha “be not afraid of storms because you are learning how to sail your ship”

park zoe “difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. the human spirit is to grow strong by conflict”

seo minseo “sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together”

seo nina “it does not matter how slowly you go as long as you don’t stop”

seo yura “your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change”

shin jieun “in three words i can sum up everything i’ve learned about life: it goes on” 

son nabi “you need to let go of the past’s hand so you can catch the hand of the future”

su parker “you don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step”

sung haneul “if you fell down yesterday, stand up today”

takanashi asami “fairytales are more than true: not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten”

watanabe miyu “let the past take care of itself, and let the present move towards the future”

won yeonwoo “tomorrow is a mystery, yesterday is history, and today is a gift, that’s why they call it present”

xu lili “asking for help isn’t giving up, it’s refusing to give up”

xue yichen “never give up on a dream just because of the time it’ll take to accomplish it. the time will pass anyway”

yamashita ichika “anything is a journey if you start somewhere” 

yang aeri “you cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.”

yoo haemin “dreams do not have an expiration date, you can always keep trying”

yoon bitna “aim for the moon. if you miss, you may hit a star” 

yu milan “getting lost is part of the journey” zheng leo “don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning”

[emberunderscore]

ranting about chapter titles of my prison duo fic for 1000+ words

so all of the titles of my prison duo fic (the sun and the night sky) are names of flowers. i had the fun idea and then i couldn't stop because i started a pattern and i refused to break the pattern unless it was important story wise (i'll get to that)

so here's a master list of all the first 10 chapters, their titles, what the flowers mean and why i chose them!

spoiler warning - go read my fic if you haven't already! (and if you don't want to but still wanna read this tw: talking about eating disorders)

Daffodils > Daffodils - new beginnings and rebirth In this chapter Icarus is handing over the title of Quixis to hc!Sherbert, they get to go home but they've changed so much they're practically a different person. not only did their eye change back, making them whole again, they've seen so much happen across the multiverse, watched other versions make mistakes and just watched them all live. they've learned from their lives. going home after about 200-250 years will be like being reborn for them, its a new beginning. especially because no one remembers them, not even the world itself, not even the records.

Forget-me-nots and Yellow Roses > Forget me nots - rememberance, and a symbol of memory loss/dementia Icarus meets with people they've known, Rae, Violet (also Isla, but they dont remember her, they didn't get their memories of the resets fully back). No one remembers them, Rae thought they died as a child. Near the end of the chapter Caspian gets home, he knows Icarus, and he reveals he never forgot them. He restores the memories of Rae and Violet, hence rememberance. They're getting remembered. > Yellow Roses - happiness, friendship, a way of saying "you make me happy" Icarus and Violet are friends in this universe, both of them have wanted it to be more for so long but they've both been too scared to lose the other to say anything. So they are really close friends, and Icarus is just so happy Centross remembers them that they don't mind that they're just friends, they can't bring themself to want them to be more when there was even a moment where they thought they'd never get what they had before back because even if they were to start again, they'd never be as close as they were. They both went through so much and they went through a lot of it together. They were both so shitty to each other but they stayed close despite it, they forgave each other despite it. So Icarus is happy with friendship, and Centross does make them happy.

Bluebells and Lavender > Bluebells - constancy, gratitude, everlasting love Centross is their constant, he's been there all three resets that they remember. He's always been there, and as Sherb (the actual real one) has mentioned before that Icarus' whole emotional state is tied to him. When they're fighting, they're spiraling, when they're happy they're happy, when (they think) he's dead they're deteriotation, and doing everything to bring him back. They're so grateful that they have him, and he's their rock. And of course they have always loved him, and him them. Everlasting love is so self explanatory they're GAY and LOVE EACH OTHER forever and ever > Lavender - silence, devotion, calmness and serenity Icarus says to much about Quixis stuff and shuts down, they go silent. Centross is devoted to helping them calm down and get somewhere safe, "One thing he knew was he was not leaving their side until they were sober" look how devoted he is look at him, he cares so much!!!! Centross helps them calm down, and get calm enough to fall asleep, they feel safe and calm around him.

Yellow Roses and Lily of the Valley > Yellow Roses - cowardice, sickness and mental illness These have appeared already, but they also have negative meanings, the repeated use of them now in their negative symbolism shows a shift in the tone of the story. This is the chapter they have breakfast with Ghaae+ household, they are unable to eat the food and dissociate during the meal, they end up leaving early, blaming it on a hangover - this part shows the cowardice, running away from their problem and hiding/running away. And the sickness and mental illness serve as a way to show that this is the beginnings of an eating disorder showing. > Lily of the Valley - sadness, pain, loss and death (+ poisonous) This shows the negatives of the breakfast, paired with the yellow roses the title of the chapter shows how Icarus' developing mental illness is already poisoning parts of their life. (thanking Vex for finding these flowers they're so good and they work so well and i struggled so hard with finding flowers with bad meanings <3)

Cornflowers and White Anemone > Cornflowers - symbol of hope, c!Ocie's favourite Yeah i just picked cornflowers cause i think they're c!Ocies fav and if im wrong its because i associate them with her or smth. Also symbol of hope!! its important because- > White Anemone - expectations, anticipation and undying love Violet wants to ask Ocie if he can date Ic but he wants to give her time to process the memories first (bc she hated them for a while there), he'll still love her and he'll always love them. While he's not with them he's anxious to get back to them, to make sure they're ok. Back with Icarus there are some unspoken expectations for them to eat, something they aren't able to do, specifically there's the scene Violet sits on the floor and tried to get them eat some bread, they end up dropping it on the floor so its inedible. Anticipation also works as this chapter is left on a cliffhanger, Centross asks Icarus if they're doing okay.

Orange Lillies > Orange Lillies - hatred, pride, disdain and contempt (+ they only live for a few weeks) Hatred, disdain and contempt are all emotions Icarus directs towards themself and their own body. They look at themself for the first time and see how underweight they are, they hate how they look and they hate themself. The pride symbolizm is irony, they should be feeling proud after managing to eat but they don't, it's a taunting meaning.

A Single Daffodil... > Singular Daffodil - misfortune A daffodil on its own represents differently than multiple, you might notice that all of the chapter titles are pluralises, including the use of Daffodils in the first one. In this chapter Icarus throws up for the the first time in the fic and they also faint in the second section. Which leads to Centross finding about their difficulties eating (neither of them know that it's an eating disorder, so they never use those words for it). It has the elipses at the end to show its split into two chapters.

...and Purple Hyacinth > Purple Hyacinth - Sorrow and a desire for forgivness All of the two days this chapter follows are not super happy for the both of them, near the end Icarus claims they've finished their house and that they plan to stay there. This leads Centross to go on a small tangent about how they didn't make a farm and they don't have any food, he tells them that they could die (pretty sorrowful if you ask me). Icarus feels the need to apologise for making him look after them.

Dandelions? > Dandelions - Hope, healing and resilience Icarus is doing a lot better in this chapter, they've made a lot of improvement really quickly and Centross is really proud of them for it, he has hope that they'll continue to improve. > ? This chapter is from Violet's point of view. The question mark is put there to tell the reader that something is wrong, that things are not as they seem. The reader not being able to see Icarus' thought or view of anything is intentional as they are in fact not doing okay. They are not getting better, they're trying to pretend to be better. For Centross. To make him trust them and make him happy.

Colorblind Not a flower. Remember when I said I didn't want to break the pattern of flower chapter titles unless it was important story wise? Yeah. This is where its important Icarus succesfully fooled Centross into thinking they were okay, and he lets them be alone that night. They know they're not okay but they don't want to get better at this point. This is their rock bottom. They punch the mirror in their bathroom out of disgust of their body and face, they faint from the motion, falling into the mirror and onto a pile of broken glass. They are left bleeding out on the floor of their bathroom, behind a locked door.

The title of this chapter comes from a song i listened to on loop to write most of the Icarus chapters, though it is available on spotify one of the creators is not a good guy and i don't want him to get money from it. The song is Empty by Jaiden Animations (wonderful and perfect) and Boyinaband <- hes the icky one, there are re-uploads of the song on youtube. it is a really good song (and the music video is cool)

Empty is a song about Jaiden's personal experience with an eating disorder, so it's very fitting. The title comes from the line "I know it's wrong but just because you know you're colorblind doesn't mean you can see the colors" The whole bit with them looking in the mirror is inspired by the line "I'm looking but I can't see myself" They look into their mirror but they don't see their own face, only Fables, and every other version of themself.

Colorblind also works really well against the flower chapters, because flowers are colourful, so colorblind means they can't see the colours of the flowers, and the colours are very important when it comes to symbolizm, they can't see them. It means that they look back on the week since they've got back and they can't see it for what it is. They actually can't remember most of it, i don't think this would ever come up in the fic outright but Icarus doesn't remember most of their days, all of them sort of blur together and they can't rememeber what thing happened on what day. This is a result of both their disocation and lack of eating leaving them disorented.

[tiarasnteakettles]

Inevitabilis.

It feels like no matter how hard I try, I'm always going to be a disorganized mess.

I try to keep all my orders and donos through my storefront so this sort of mishap doesn't happen, but sometimes people slip through the cracks and pop up two years later asking why they didn't receive their stuff from Ko-Fi or Tumblr.

Sometimes it's a matter of shipping boxes. I have nothing on hand big enough for their order, and I never have a spare $100-$200 to buy a whole pack of boxes for this one order, so then it sits there forever. Or someone asks me to halt their order due to an address change, then never updates me with the new address. Or their order gets returned. Or I go on a trip and it derails my energy for 2-3 months. And believe me, after that? I'll forget.

My shop platform actually hides orders that are older than 6 months, too, so if something has been on hold long enough, I don't see it anymore and I will forget it exists.

9 times out of 10, I ship your order pretty darn fast or within the promised timeline. But that 1 outta 10 is what slips through the cracks and throws me off the groove, ruining everything and making me feel like being organized is a unicorn fantasy. That I'll never get this right.

I should be ahead of things. But instead I'm always just barely treading water, despite any success I have. I'm tired of apologizing and feeling like it's an empty sentiment because no matter how hard I try, it never gets better. I need help, but I don't know what would help. A life coach? Medication? A gun to my head? How do I stop making mistakes???

[alpaca-clouds]

The Crusades (and how they Influence Castlevania)

I will just happily continue to do some historical framing of Castlevania, especially in regards to Nocturne, as it really has a ton of historical details in there. But I also noticed a ton of people refer to Mizrak as a Templar or a crusader - both in the positive and the negative sense. So, let me talk about two things today: Historical context of the Crusades and (in the evening, when I have a bit more time) also the Knight Orders that participated.

Understanding the crusades is also very important when it comes to understanding colonialism in how it happened, which doubly influences the plot of Castlevania Nocturne.

First: The first crusade happened mainly in 1096, though there were two years of things happening up to it. And make no mistake: The reasons for the crusades happening were entirely political.

Of course, the official story went like this: "Muslims have laid claim on Jerusalem, which is this important city for Christianity because it is where Jesus died (and according to some sources was born as well)! Now how can we do a pilgrimage there?! We need to reclaim Jerusalem!"

But that story was a lie. Yes, Muslim held Jerusalem at the time, but... here is the fact: Muslim at this time were very chill with other religions. So Christian could do their pilgrimage through the Muslim held territory no problem. They even build infrastructure for the Christian pilgrims. No problem.

No, the reason for it was different. For once the Byzantine had lost a lot of land to the Ottomans and Turks. And they petitioned the Western European nations for help reclaiming it.

But also: Pope Urban at the time had kinda the problem that there was another pope. (Yes, that happened a lot in history.) And he had been thrown out of Rome. So, he had the genius idea that if he build up the Muslims as this horrible enemy, he could unite the Christians under himself in the fight against them.

And thus the first Crusade started. It was chaos. They killed more Christians throughout eastern Europe than Muslims, because they just went pillaging and all those things.

But over the next about 200 years a ton more crusades happened. Like, officially eight crusades, but there were actually so many more, just that those eight crusades were happening with more nations participating.

Technically speaking the crusades did not even stop after 1291. Rather there were more smaller crusades. Often these were not about Jerusalem, but about reclaiming other areas from Muslim rule. But also about pillaging a lot of Muslim land and riches.

To relate this back to Castlevania: Isaac has probably been taken as a slave during one of the later crusades. And given we know Hector lived on Rhodes, he also would have seen one crusade trying to reclaim the island from the Muslims.

Now, why was this important in regards of colonialism?

Mostly, because the entire framework of thinking that influenced colonialism later came from here.

Until the crusades racism was not really a thing that existed. There was xenophobia, yes, but that was bound to culture, not to the color of skin or the shape of a face. But the crusades created a very effective image of the "dangerous other" in Arabs and Turks. And thus as the crusades progressed the idea that darker skinned people were inherently bad spread more and more throughout Europe and was pushed a lot by the church.

By the time the original Castlevania series is set the idea was the official church doctrine, which included that Black people were created by God to be slaves. It is this that made the colonizers turn to Africa to get their slaves. Because it was so interwoven with church doctrine by that time that it was just considered truth.

Now, at the point that Nocturne is set in, the crusades were very much over. But the fallout from them continued a long while onwards - technically speaking through to this day.

Some of the Knightly Orders that were created during the crusades were active in the French Revolution. Technically speaking some of them are active to this day. (Yes, the Knights Hospitaller included - just that they do not call themselves Knights anylonger.)

If you wanna learn more about the first crusade and the chaos that ensued, watch this little series by Extra History.

[blackbloodedisabel]

waiwait so after Erykwana gets overthrown adn allat. where is she. like does she have to go into hiding or smtn where are they having epic knife sex

ok so the vryciila-csora member who originally had the idea to overthrow them was like. the number one mortal lover out of all of them and she decided that as punishment for letting Erykwana do what she did for billions of years without ever trying to stop her, all of the mraninia-csora would be tasked with protecting a small group of mortals each and 'punished' if those mortals were hurt/killed/harmed in any way. the story itself kinda focuses on these mortals btw fun fact

unfortunately this girl was a) a hypocrite (most of them are. in fairness) and b) a idealist so. things have since gone very wrong, lots of torture lots of death etc etc.

anyway. so Erykwana has been in various mortal places over the past 200 years (since they lost the war). currently she's running a nuclear power plant and eating the inspectors who come to visit because she's kinda playing fast and loose with safety regulations. love her!!

make no mistake though Erykwana is still very much. a god. so she's got enough power to come and visit Gora from time to time haha, especially on special days like the Shattering etc etc.

also the vryciila-csora keeps fighting the mraninia-csora because the mraninia-csora are insolent little buggers. and a lot of other shit keeps happening but anyway. people say the war ended 200 years ago but you'd have to be as naive as Thea to actually believe that

so they keep fighting and they keep interacting through the mortals Gora continues to torture. epic knife sex epic teeth sex they have it all..