#not that I care about an actual celebration just being kind and acknowledging it

[himblebo]

Feeling kind of hollow today

[seresinhangmanjake]

kind of an angsty prompt, reader is one of feyd’s more “unpopular” concubines, never actually having been acknowledged by him and as a result is treated pretty badly since she is seen as “undesirable”. but one day when house harkonnen is having a celebration and other houses are invited, she catches the attention of paul atreides, who is desperate to take her as his own. the baron concedes, since feyd doesn’t pay her any attention, but over the years feyd gets to know more about her personality and falls for her, as she has more power as paul’s sole concubine and can assert herself much better than when she was his. kinda a “didn’t know what you had till you lost it situation”.

The Only One

Feyd-Rautha x concubine!reader

Warnings/Notes: I made it a little bit different, so I hope that's ok. The chronology of this is all messed up from the movies. People are alive who wouldn’t be, but just go with it. People being owned. Feyd is grumpy boy. Slight smut, so 18+. Angsty-ish, but lighter ending. Cursing.

Words: 3300

Feyd-Rautha Masterlist / Main Masterlist / Tag list

Your mother once told you that love was wonderful. Just like that. Simple words, as if factual, as if love were so stunningly special that it didn’t need flowery language to prove it’s worth. Love is wonderful and one day you will see so for yourself. That’s what she said. But what did she know, really. She was a blip in the universe who promised you would partake in an experience that has done you more harm and little good. This love she spoke of—you’ve seen it. Worse, you’ve felt it. And it is nothing like she described. It has been anything but wonderful. 

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen does not love you. In fact, if he were to love at all, you wouldn’t even make the list of potential receivers of that love. There are many in line before you. Three, to be exact—his harpies. Were he capable of love, he would love them. They are the ones he visits in the night, not you. They are the ones he keeps at his side, not you. Like you, they are owned by him, but unlike you, they are paraded around while you are cast aside. 

You don’t know why he claimed you if he was never going to use you. He declared you a concubine—effectively forbidding any hands other than his on your body—only to leave you untouched for the better part of a year. Untouched. Unloved, in every sense of the word. 

Perhaps it is because you are not like them. You’re not from Giedi Prime and you fumbled to learn their customs, and maybe that was too unattractive. Maybe all he saw in you was a fool failing to adjust to the life he leads, and maybe he could not look past that to see how hard you were trying for him. 

Since you became his property, all you’ve wanted is for him to like you. Not even reciprocate the love you harbor, but simply enjoy your presence and come to you every once in a while rather than allowing the harpies to tend to him. It doesn’t seem like too much to hope for, but you know better. He doesn’t care for you. He paid no attention to you as your heart attached itself to him, and yet it attached with mighty strength anyway. 

You’ve stopped pretending like you don’t know where that leaves you. For some time, you played the mental game. He could grow to love me…one day. If only he paid me a second of attention, he would see my devotion and realize I'm what he’s always wanted. Fairytale stuff used to deflect your fate. But you know your fate, and it isn’t a life by the side of the cruel-hearted man you've come to love. It’s a life alone. 

—

“Care for a drink?” you hear. 

Without looking in the direction of the voice, you say, “No, thank you,” having been taught that as the sole acceptable answer to a man’s advances. No, because you belong to him. Thank you, because rudeness can start wars. 

“You’ve been standing here all night,” the voice continues. “You have to be thirsty.”

He must know who you are by now. The Hakonnens have hosted grand events before, and you’ve always been present. If the men who have approached you in the past did not know who owned you, they would learn rather quickly. A word from a nearby guard and a glance into Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen’s glare and those men would back off. 

You look Feyd’s way. He’s busy with the harpies. No glare in sight.

“My House brought our finest wines. I can guarantee you would enjoy a taste.”

You can barely hold back your groan. Your head whips in the direction of the voice. “Thank you, but–” You cut yourself off with a gasp.

Paul Atreidies chuckles. The emperor chuckles. “Bring her a glass,” he says to a Harkonnen servant. The servant hesitates for a second, which only you seem to detect. He has no choice but to obey the emperor, yet doing so may cost him his life. Yet, he heads off, disappearing into the crowd toward the refreshments.

“I apologize,” you say as you bow your head in shame. 

His finger crooks under your chin and lifts so your eyes have to meet his. “A pretty face should never be to the ground. Even a concubine’s.”

“You know who I am.”

“Of course I do,” he says. “I’ve seen you before.”

You flush with embarrassment. If he’s noticed you before, then he’s noticed you alone before, standing in this exact spot against the wall. And if he’s noticed you and is willing to talk to you, then he likely pities you. To have the emperor’s pity—a gift or a sign of weakness?

The servant returns, handing you a glass half filled with a deep maroon liquid. Paul Atreides lifts his own glass and clinks it against yours. The rim meets his lips. He takes his sip and then smiles as he watches you do the same. 

He raises a brow. “Good?” You nod. “Good. Would you like more?”

“No,” you reply after hastily swallowing. “Thank you.”

He grins again and then turns so you’re shoulder to shoulder, staring out into the mass of mingling bodies. “I don’t enjoy these,” he says. “My birthdays are more intimate affairs.”

You don’t know what he’s getting at, but insulting the birthday of the Baron’s most promising nephew makes your stomach drop. Were the man beside you not the emperor, and had anyone overheard him, he would have a blade run through him by the end of the night. 

“What good is spending your birthday with people you do not love and who do not love you?” he says, and with great restraint, you keep from spitting that a Harkonnen cannot love and so it makes no difference to them who is around. Then he says, “You know, I could make sure you always have plenty.” 

When you look at him, his head nudges to the glass in your hand. Your heart thumps. “I–I don’t understand what you mean,” you tell him, hoping that what you think you understand from his words is wildly incorrect. 

“You could be mine,” he tells you. “I would like for you to be mine. I would actually touch you, unlike him.” Unlike the man whose neglect has rendered you useless. 

“Surely your wife would not be pleased.”

“She’s used to it,” he says. You didn’t know what else you expected. You’ve heard of the famous Chani. “I intend to ask the Baron for you. Out of politeness, of course.” Because he could just take you if he wanted. He is the emperor, after all. But rudeness… “Would you like that?”

Not unless you like being separated from the organ that keeps your body alive. But then again, that organ has been mutilated to the point that not much else could damage it. 

Your eyes dart to Feyd. He’s watching you from his seat across the room, his blue irises darkened. He cannot do anything about the closeness of Paul Atreides. He wouldn’t, you know, but if he wanted to, he couldn’t. A harpy runs her hand across his cheek. A lump forms in your throat. You look away. 

“I think I would,” you answer. 

—

“He can’t have her!” 

You can hear him through the grand doors. You’re not supposed to be here, but you couldn’t help yourself. You wanted to know his reaction to you leaving, but you didn’t expect this. You figured he’d send a servant to pack up your belongings and set them by the entrance of the fortress right before shoving you outside with his own two hands. 

“He can,” the Baron says. Something crashes against a wall. Its pieces clink as they hit the ground. 

“She belongs to me! She’s mine!” Feyd shouts. “She–”

“You don’t use her. She’s no great loss to you. If the harpies are insufficient, you can find another elsewhere, but this one now belongs to the Emperor.”

“He's forcing her,” Feyd says. “He's stealing her from me!”

You wonder if anyone other than Paul Atreides knows the truth: that you were offered a chance to leave and have decided to take it. You’re not being stolen. The Emperor did not remove the collar around your neck simply to replace it with one of his own. He asked; you said yes. 

“She agreed,” the Baron answers, effectively ending your curiosity. It shocks you, not seeming like information necessary for an Emporer to tell one of his subjects. “Not that it matters,” he says, and you agree. 

“Make him give her back to me!”

“I’m not interested in increasing tensions between our Houses over some concubine, nephew. Find yourself a new one.”

You know he will. It won’t take him long, and he might actually put his hands on this one. You ignore the clench in your stomach at the thought of his touch on someone other than the harpies. Maybe she would be more like you—color to her cheeks, hair on her head. You hope you never meet her. It’ll make you sick. It would mean it really has been you. All this time, you were the problem. You were the defective one. Only you weren’t worth his attention.

When presence enters your space, you know it’s time. You face the Kaitainian guard, and he turns. You follow him away from Feyd. 

—

Feyd POV - One Year Later

You carry yourself differently around him. Your back is straighter, chin higher. You keep your hands clasped in front of you at all times. Feyd never made you stand like that, like someone shoved a stick down the back of your dress—your dress, which he hates. 

If you’re going to be dolled up like a present on his birthday, the least his cousin could’ve done was wrap you in colors he likes. Some silver chain or thick, black leather. Not this shimmery golden, flowy fabric of another planet. 

It pisses him off. Showing up in Paul’s clothes, doing your hair up as they do in Kaitain instead of letting it loose around your shoulders, standing as Paul wants you to stand—all of it is like a stamp on the memory of you being taken from him. 

You’re changed, but you no less belong to Feyd than you did before. The real you is still in this new woman somewhere, and he intends to bring you back. 

He’s been planning it for a year. It took him time to gain enough trust from his uncle to be granted full rein of the Harkonnen armies, but all he had to do was prove his ruthlessness and wait until his brother showed himself for the fool he is, and now he has a footing in Arrakis. Complete control over spice production, which he can manipulate from right under his uncle’s nose. Something Paul Atreides wants. 

—

Reader POV

The second he returns from his meeting with Paul, you can feel him. Watching you. Staring. Drinking you in. You try your best to ignore it, but you can’t help but wonder what he sees when he looks at you now. You’re not the same. For a year, you haven’t lived the life Feyd-Rautha made for you, and in that year, you’ve been exposed to the antithesis of that life. Finer clothes, better food, maidservants of your own, physical touch. You’re treated with kindness, and you have been used as you are meant to be used. 

Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean you are any more loved on Kaitain than you were on Giedi Prime. That place is for Chani. She permanently resides in the eye of the emperor, and you, just off to the side. But you’ve come to accept your reality. You’ve made your peace with never being someone’s first choice. What you haven’t made your peace with is Feyd. 

You wish you could say otherwise, but you still have those feelings stirring inside of you. Love, that even after another year of contemplation, you still don’t understand. He never gave you reason to love him. But you couldn’t help yourself. Watching him from a distance was enough. You fell in love with a man you witnessed show leniency and a form of kindness to women who weren’t you while imagining yourself in their place. It was, and is, pathetic. Yet, you continue to love him. And now you’re seeing him again, and he’s just as beautiful. 

You sneak a glance at him. His eyes are still on you. He’s alone, no harpies to his left or right. Your eyes scan the room. No harpies anywhere.

“Are you alright?” Paul asks as he comes from behind you to be at your side. 

“Yes.” No.

Paul takes a sip of his drink. “I know it must be awkward, but are you enjoying the party? I cannot tell by the look on your face.”

“I am.” You’re not. 

In your peripherals, you see him nod. “I have…” he sighs. When you look at him, his head is tipped downward. 

“You always say beauty should not face the floor,” you tell him. 

“I do,” he says with a smile, lifting his head. He takes a deep breath. “I have to tell you something.” An immediate sense of dread fills your gut. “He’s asked for you back.”

Your body freezes, and then your heart begins to thump against the wall of your chest. It pounds with the ferocity of a hundred drums, almost painful in its desperation for freedom, escape. “And?”

Paul’s eyes find yours. You see the silent apology. “I’ve agreed.”

“What!” is a hushed burst of air. You can’t draw attention to yourself, but you know if anyone is already looking your way, the mask of indifference you’re trying to keep on your face won’t fool them.  

“I’m sorry. He offered me something I cannot refuse.” 

You don’t have to ask if that something is truly more than your worth. By the sight of the emperor, it is worth more than ten times your value to him, and you can’t stand in your spot anymore. Your composure is being chiseled away at by the second, but this is not the place to fall apart. The emperor says your name and for the first time, you don’t respond as you walk off. 

Knowing your way around the place, you find a secluded corner just outside the doors of the grand room. Your breathing is uncontrollable. His. You’re going to be his…again. Or you already are. It sounded as if the deal had been made, signed, and done with. You’re not leaving Giedi Prime at the end of the night. You’re not going back to luxury, comfort. You’re staying put. Once again, ignored and treated as a useless object. Once again, a low member on the list of those Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen wants. 

Suddenly, a stream of light blinds you, the muffled voices rise in clarity, and then both are gone. No light. Dimmed voices. You blink. Feyd is in front of you. 

Scoffing, you say, “What do you want?”

He stares at you some more—a long interlude that makes your nerves wiggly under your skin. Then he walks, he enters your space, he puts his hands on your cheeks, and he kisses you. 

The very first kiss. And you wish it was awful. You wish it didn’t send a zingy shiver down your spine or raise the hair on your arms, but your body doesn’t feel like your own as his lips meld with yours. You’re simply along for the ride, taking what he’s giving. 

When he pulls away, he rests his forehead on yours. “I should’ve kissed you before,” he says through a ragged breath. “You’re so fucking sweet.” And then he goes in for another kiss. Another kiss that you don’t return because you’re too stunned to do so. 

Coming to your senses, you plant your hands firmly on his chest and shove. He stumbles. The surprise of it doesn’t last long. 

“Don’t,” he snaps. “You’re mine again.”

“Why did you do this?” you spit. 

“I never should have been forced to lose you,” he tells you, but you don’t really hear him as your words continue to tumble out of your mouth at a rapid rate. 

“You don’t need me. I’m a waste to you. You never touched me–”

“I didn’t want to ruin you,” he says. “That’s why–”

“You only touched them–”

“Because you were something pure.”

That, you do hear. “Pure!” you shout. “You liked me pure? If so, then you’ve wasted trading whatever you had to have me back. I’m not pure anymore. And do you know why?”

Feyd’s blue irises darken a shade. “Stop.”

“Because I was his,” you say, a whimper in your throat as you reminisce about the ease of the past year of your life. “And he actually used me.”

“Stop!” He grabs your arm. You fight his grip, but it’s a waste of energy—he’s too strong for you—and then you’re being pulled into the closest room. He tries to press his lips to yours and in that moment of vulnerability, you’re able to pull yourself free from his grasp. 

“Don’t you dare! Go to your harpies.”

“They’re dead,” he says, reaching for you again. You leap back, but he manages to catch you. He pulls you close and your chest slams into his. 

“Why?” you say as you struggle, your body wiggling in the circle of his arms. 

“I killed them when you were taken from me.”

Your spine goes rigid. You blanch. “W-Why?”

Feyd groans as if he’s tired of you playing stupid, as if he’s tired of you wasting his time on ridiculous questions with obvious answers. “Because you made them tolerable. I thought of you whenever I had them, but then you were gone, and I couldn’t think about you without thinking I was never going to have you.”

Your lungs lock in all oxygen, and suddenly, against your will, a crack splits the hard shell of your anger. It’s not so simple to believe what he says. That he always wanted you? That you were too precious for him to touch? You think it’s more likely your appeal increased when he lost control over you, but his words are distracting, too much to comprehend in the limited time you have before he’s kissing you again. This time, you soften in his hold. You kiss him back. 

Your hands slide up his chest to the back of his neck. His mouth moves to your cheek, your jawline, your neck. He bites down on sensitive flesh. His touch trails down your spine, over the swell of your bottom to your thighs, and he lifts you up. 

It’s a few steps to the foreign bed. On your back, you yank up the skirt of your dress as he rips his shirt off and undoes the fasteners of his pants. He pulls them down just enough to free himself. His arms curl under your knees. He jerks your body to the end of the bed. One hand goes to your waist. The other pumps his member twice before he guides himself inside of you. 

It’s not like Paul. Not even close. Thicker. Longer. You watch Feyd where you didn’t watch Paul. Through your own pleasure, you examine his. The pinch of his brow. The parting of his lips. The breath that leaves them—it’s heavy and yet soft. The way he stares at you. Always staring. 

You love him. 

“You will be the only one,” he says. He leans down to connect your lips. “The only one.”

[halemerry]

So there’s understandably a lot out there examining the painful/emotional parts of this season, but I just wanted to take a second to acknowledge something really important that is a bit... maybe not lighter in tone but something worth celebrating.

Because like, even if he seems a bit directionless and frustrated, Crowley actually is pretty happy this season?

He’s making progress. He’s letting himself have things he wouldn’t have ever before - even if it's not exactly the thing he wants the most. He's letting himself be himself. He's not censoring instincts and impulses to nearly the same degree and it's actually pretty remarkable.

Like, okay, yes, Crowley is pretty lost now that he exists outside the toxic structure he has been operating under for millenia. And, yes his safety net with Aziraphale and the structure they operate in has also crumbled a bit because so much of that structure was built around what they were and weren’t allowed to safely do within the toxic structure. But, I actually do think this season does a lot to show that even if this struggle is very real and has consequences that aren’t all objectively good, freeing himself from that structure is a net good.

He smiles more. He laughs more. He sprawls more. He seems generally more physically relaxed and comfortable trusting his instincts without having to check everything he’s doing or saying against Hell. And this state of existence isn’t dependent on Aziraphale being present either. It’s just him being him and becoming comfortable with what that means.

And it wasn't a snap your fingers bam you're better situation either. It takes work and time to break old instincts. I mean, years have passed and we’re still struggling to let anyone say that we are nice. But significantly his instinct isn’t to snarl or physically lash out. It’s to roll his eyes or half heartedly object or maybe throw in a light growl for old times sake. And, sometimes, the instinct is to grin like a self satisfied loon as you contradict the nice human who implied you were nice.

Crowley is now in a place where his impulses to be kind are things he’s allowed to give into now and, even if he’s doing so under a veneer of snark and sneer, he is letting himself do that. He’s making sure the people around him are caring for ducks properly. He’s admitting he was worried about Aziraphale and cooing at his own car. He’s apologizing for accidentally locking people into coffee shops and openly helping them get out without even stopping to think about how maybe doing so might clue them in that he’s not quite what he seems. He's helping Shax learn her way around earth, even when she’s actively working against him and Aziraphale.

Even when interacting with Jim, who brings out the most of Crowley’s negative reactions and masks, his instincts are just as often to be gentle as they are to be angry. So long as Jim isn’t actively setting off alarm bells in Crowley’s head Crowley is so patient with him. He explains gravity unprompted and proceeds to include Jim in on his planning to get Nina and Maggie together. After his initial explosion at Jim’s presence the next two are immediately followed up by him getting upset and then backing off of Jim. He starts to threaten Jim when he’s reminded Aziraphale is in danger and then nearly immediately backs off of that, acknowledging there’s no point in it. And then, of course, after he nearly talks Jim into jumping out a window and pressures him into extracting more information from his brain he feels guilty enough to then offer Jim an act of care and service. It's such a stark difference from the guy we see even this season needing to put a layer between himself and anything good he does by either denying thanks outright or putting the blame on being under some influence.

And it’s startling how much we see him smile this season and how many different versions of that we get. From the genuine delight on his face when he thinks Operation Lovebird is working to the pleased little smirk he gives Aziraphale through the window when he watches him bring order to the arguing angels and demons in his shop, to the little smile of familiarity when he wonders what happened to Mr Dalrymple - Crowley smiles a lot compared to the first season. And it doesn't matter where he is either. He has a delightful time in Heaven, snickering and grinning to himself nearly the entire time he's prancing around there. And that’s not even getting into his dorky little snort laugh that pops up a few times throughout the season.

And I just. It’s so nice that this show doesn’t want to deny that what Aziraphale and Crowley are doing is hard but also that it doesn’t want to wallow in that struggle either. It never wants to frame that what they earned at the end of season 1 has doomed them but it isn't afraid to show the speed bumps that the system they were in is causing them on their way to happily ever after. They’re allowed to be happy. They're allowed to struggle with getting there. This is allowed to be a good thing for them, even if it sometimes takes work.

[multifandumbmeg]

Anthony Lockwood is an emotional chameleon. He changes how he interacts with people to be what they want and need.

Think about how he acts with George. They bicker, they insult each other, they're not touchy-feely, but they get each other. They care about each other. Lockwood treats him like this because that's what George likes: blunt, to the point, back-and-forth banter and sarcasm. He doesn't treat George's neurodivergence or eccentricities as a fault like others, he casually accepts or even lauds them. He's the hands-off but there when you need him friend George needed.

Think about how he treats Lucy. She doesn't realize this is why, which is the cause of much of her internal fury, but he tries to be what she seems to want. Lockwood gives Lucy a huge amount of freedom, doesn't push her to open up, celebrates and accepts her gifts at face value (especially in the books) but in the show when she makes clear what she doesn't want, he apologizes and changes course. He becomes comfortable with her quickly and doesn't treat her differently because she's a girl- he knows she can handle herself and she's just another member of the household, no judgement for being messy or lazy or looking wrecked like the rest of them. He knows that she is closed off and resentful when people pity her or acknowledge her pain, so he shows his affection in subtler ways, like making her toast and tea. Giving her precious things that are part of his past as a show of trust and attempt at vulnerability. Frequently praising her, but only when she truly deserves it, because she wouldn't accept it otherwise. Constantly showing her how much her life is worth to him, no matter how much it drives her crazy. His relationship with Lucy changes as his romantic feelings for her grow, and it gets harder for him to mask how he actually feels and wants to act.

Now here's the controversial one: Lockwood does not show Holly favoritism, nor is a malicious, manipulative monster pitting two women against each other. Every single thing about how Lockwood treats Holly differently can be attributed to him knowing her past and trying to be what she needs. He is helping her. Lucy's internal monologue of intense jealousy is a matter of insecurity. She sees Lockwood's gentleness with Holly as him seeing her as a "real girl" and Lucy herself as "just one of the guys" - read, not a romantic prospect. But Lockwood makes it clear who he favors soon enough: when Lucy decides to leave, he offers to fire Holly immediately because he knows of their feud. It is Lucy he can't live without. Lockwood is, in a word, polite to Holly. He is kind and friendly towards her because her previous boss abused her, and she is traumatized in a fundamentally different way than Lucy. Whereas Lucy hardened but sees the agent life as all she can do, all she is worth, Holly is paralyzingly traumatized by agent work. Which is exactly why he takes her out on cases slowly, watches out for her, and does everything he can to rebuild her confidence. He gets onto to Lucy rather than Holly because 1) Lucy became hostile immediately and fully started their conflict, 2) as mentioned before, Holly is traumatized by an abusive, toxic prior work environment. He's trying to make her feel safe here, and 3) He's completely unaware of how Lucy sees this behavior as a personal slight because he fully respects Lucy as an equal, which he thinks is a compliment.

Also, I think George sees Lockwood's ever-changing personality as completely par for the course. As a fellow neurodivergent, he thinks this parade of masks is how everyone interacts, Lockwood's just good at it.

In conclusion, Lockwood is simply a kind kid with pretty damn high emotional intelligence, which is frankly remarkable considering how alone he's been. Anthony Lockwood tries to be whatever anyone else needs, because there was no one to be it for him.

[thr0wnawayy]

Hi l, I absolutely love your takes and I want to ask smth...I never saw anyone ask before....what was the point of Izu?

Maybe you are confused with this question, after all, in the first chapter we see (the first signal of delulu) he wanted to be a hero and became one ...

And got suffering

Suffering

And oh yes sure, suffering.

Like ...what this helps in the narrative?

"he is there to cheer for abusers" something Izu haters say but ... honestly, that isn't correct as many people in this story cheer for Endy or Aizawa. Izu is not even needed for that.

I know we can't read Hori's mind to know what was the point....and we do know he doesn't hide his disdain for Izu....but like, in canon, he is just there to suffer and his suffering adds nothing.

"to show how corrupt the hero society is"

We have plenty of examples like that...Izu is really not needed.

So...again, why?

It's just tiring seeing him feeling worthless and people all validating this feeling. Why? No one knows nor cares.

The problem with Midoriya is it feels like he never actually works for anything.

Excluding for a moment the very real possibility of 'learned helplessnes'.

After Gran Torino, when do we see Midoriya work for anything? What does he accomplish?

Nothing, he gets nothing and he works for nothing.

Sure he worked for OFA but after that, he kind of stagnates. But admittedly it's not his fault entirely, The (very small) world of MHA seemed intent on screwing him over at every given opportunity.

Aizawa and the rest of UA is fucking useless as an institution. Throwing untrained child soldiers out on patrol and seeing what sticks. How nobody has died yet, idk.

One Ao3 commenter said it best:

"UA is a horrible learning environment where I wouldn't be able to trust anyone and would very quickly grow paranoid and grow/hold grudges against "stronger" students because every loses against them could mean my expulsion for being "too weak".

"Also, he uses his quirk all willy-nilly without caring about the potential lethality of such usage (you have a quirk like Denki's that stockpiled something like electricity, he uses his quirk on you, the stockpiled electricity goes haywire and kill you and several other people nearby or you risk losing years of accumulated energy.) OFA could have lost all it's accumulated energy.)"

Everything Midoriya does feels pointless because there's no reward. Midoriya receives zero acknowledgement or recognition and the viewers are given no payoff.

His classmates ignore him, or make some comment on his failings/pain but never act.

Aizawa seems to single him out constantly, while the rest of the staff, even All Might seem content to twiddling their thumbs as Aizawa continuously tramples over the rules of student-teacher conduct.

(no aggressive physical contact, no verbal abuse, etc)

Midoriya is the centerpiece and that's precisely why Hori tried to use him to prop up the abusive cash cows. It's narrative gaslighting 101.

"If the protagonist says it, then it must be correct"

I'm going to be honest, Midoriya was always a vessel for the plot but he at least had character. That's why so many people jumped ship when the Dark Deku are turned out to be a total bust.

Because there was no reason go engage in story that can't respect it's roots (original premise)

He was given power up after power up with no thought on what came before

By the logic of OFA being a stockpiler, Flight should be the strongest quirk out of all of them. Gearshift should be the weakest. It makes no sense until you account for Hori's "subtle" sexism *and I have no idea if it's intended or borne of ignorance.

It was supposed to be "This was how I became the greatest hero"

Not "How we repeated the sins of the father"

That's why Midoriya fails as a protagonist, as a character. Because MHA doesn't have a protagonist, it doesnt have a hero. Just a bunch of super-powered SWAT celebrities covering eachothers asses.

Mha was a story about focusing on the victims .

And ended as a story about the abusers.

[smartie-chan]

Long rambling incoming in 3,2,1...

I know that I'm not really any kind of big celebrity in the Stobotnik world. The only thing I've got going for myself is the fact that I've been there since the very beginning, with my one 'I'm so proud of this community' Meme getting a like or two every full moon or so. It's also been a hot second since I've written a Stobotnik Fic, and yet, I've never really left the fandom. Far from it.

So boooooy, when that trailer dropped, let's just say, I've been going wild! That being said, I have calmed down a tiny bit and woud like to share my two cents with you all.

Especially since, considering how gay the trailer was, I've noticed people kind of leaning into either of two camps.

Team 1: They might actually make it canon y'all. This is not a drill!!!!

or

Team 2: This is the most intense queerbaiting I've ever seen, but fuck it, take my money!

Now, I will tell you where I'm standing at the end of things, but let's talk facts before I do, shall we?

I know Jim & Lee were having fun on set during Movie 1, but I doubt either of them expected us all to get quite this feral over these two evil man. In fact, I'm not sure what their plans were for Agent Stone in general. I'd love to believe that they saw us freaking the fuck out and decided to make Stone a big part of the sequels because of that. But then I look at the Robotnik Mushroom Planet scene and think: They gave this man an actual stone to hold onto, going so far as to carve Stone's face into said stone, just so he could pretend he wasn't alone and Stone was still with him. Clearly, Robotinik was never willing to admit that he cared, admit that there could be someone who he had allowed to get close, given that there had never been anyone before who had cared enough about HIM, so why should HE make the mistake of caring about someone else either. Cause, you know, it's easier to pretend there's noone than admit that there could be, just to realise that you were wrong actually. And yet. Despite all that he held onto Stone the stone, like his life depended on it. I love that scene because it's hella gay, but I love it even more because it's amazing writing, giving us the payoff for the forshadwed "I won't miss you when you're gone" scene from way back when. They didn't have to do that. And yet they made that choice. Included that moment for a reason. So I'd love to think that even back then, they were very willing to play with the dynamic of them going forward.

Clearly things and plans changed After Movie 1 , after we saw these two and made Stobotnik as big as it is. I'll talk about movie 2 in a hot second, but let's return to the way they promoted 2 first. Cause THAT was CLEARLY queerbaiting ... or was it... ? For you see, they knew what they were doing, they knew how to get us all excited , posting this on Valentine, letting Sonic make a heart, drawing the whole thing in a romantic light, going so far as to include bi-lighting in the trailer. On top of the latte art that was designed to get us queers to show up. I saw that art, freaked out and showed it to all of my friends. One friend, let's call her Barbara, smiled at me, like you smile at somone who still believes in the Easter Bunny and told me she hoped I knew they were playing with me. In fact, she was kind of dissapointed I allowed them to get to me so much. And I KNEW. I knew they were trying to bait me. I'm not stupid. This isn't the first time I've been queerbaited after all. And it won't be the last time, that's for sure. And yet, I didn't care because I loved that they acknowledged us. Loved that they were willing to give us something, even if it wasn't actually real and they were clearly NEVER going to include actual ship latte art of Stone & Robotnik together. Cause that would be gay. Haha. And those two totally weren't gay. Ain't I right? :)) Queer rep has gotten more common and yet, so has queerbaiting. Cause nowadays the chance that something could be actually made canon is way more likely than it was, let's say, 15 years ago. So companies love to use that, love playing into that even more. Like, do I have to remind you all what they were doing for the Deadpool & Wolverine movie marketing ??? Just saying.

As much as I love Lee and as much as we're loosing our marbels every time he as much as winks in our direction, I'll not be using any of his posts as evidence for the points I'm about to make further down. Cause, you know, at the end of the day, he's just one of us as well. Another shipper. A hella supportive shipper who may or may not have had a hand in the way he portrayed Stone, but still. Love you Lee. Thank you for having our back!

So now. Movie 2. And the godforsaken Maid Dress Scene. I hope we are all proud of ourselves. Cause that scene was our doing. I promise you, promise you!!! they didn't have that planned before the fandom happend. They saw us and were like "You can have this. As a treat :3". Personally I didn't freak out as much as the rest of you all, but I'm glad you guys had fun. It was a gift to us after all, so I guess it's fine if we enjoyed it. Jokes aside though, let's get back to what movie 2 did, even though they may or may not have realised it at the time. As in: They made Stobotnik canon. What do you mean by canon, Smartie?????, you might ask. And I'll answer, cause it's simple: I mean canon, as in canon. Yes, that's right. Stobotnik has been canon for a while... or... at least 50% of it. Let's get back to the Latte, shall we? Back then I thought they were making fun of us. Queerbaiting at it's finest. And then the movie happend and Stone confessed his love right then and there for the world to see, basically drawing fanart into Robotnik's caffe for who knows how long and Robotnik? That stupid -3000 IQ genius knew. He fucking knew!! Has always known and was either unwilling to read between the lines or mistook the affection for simple loyalty. Not-Spoiler: It's the later by the way, because we have that deleted scene. That beautiful deleted scene. But let's get back to the art for a second. Because I was basically dying in my seat. And I didn't think people were talking about it enough, cause it was the proof, not that stupid maid outfit that was simply put in as a joke that audiences were supposed to laugh at. But this. This! The whole scene were Stone was lovesick and heartbroken, drawing art of his lost non-lover, the way the life returned to his eyes the second said man returned, on top of literally all of him for the rest of the movie prooved one thing to me: Agent Stone was in love with Dr. Robotnik. It's clear he's never said so out loud, and for a good reason, but he didn't have to. It was so obvious anyone with an IQ lower than 299 could have seen. Just a shame that that one 300 IQ guy couldn't. So now, deleted scene time. Woopwoop. :P Recall how they had planned to make Stone even more in love and heart-eyed - JESUS CHRIST MY GUY - but went for an alternative scene instead? In case you aren't familiar with the scene, it's basically Stone telling Robotnik how he's followed his guide-lines, making the Stone Comic Canon, how he's made sure noone touched his babies, how he's known he'd return, how he's waited for him all this time cause he knew KNEW he'd come back and for a second there Robotnik doesn't know what to say. He looks that man in the eyes and for a split second he wonders, questions, and then... then he's scared. Scared of what that could mean. Scared that he could actually mean something to someone and he panics and decides to use violence to laugh it off, to refelect, to pretend that in that moment, he didn't actually feel something. That Stone didn't make him feel ... vulnerable. Because at that point, he cares too. He's not ready to admit it, at least not without having to joke about it. But he does. He does!! And the thought of it being mutual scares him. Probably more than anything ever has. Because if he allows this, this feeling to settle and bloom, he's got to admit that this, whatever it is, has the power to destroy and hurt him. And he can't do that. Maybe not again. Maybe not ever. Not now. Not now that he's what... 40? and has found peace with the fact that he'll die alone.

I know they were leaning into Stobotnik a lot, but they also... kind of didn't, following the natural consequences of the stuff they had set up in the prior movie, allowing Robotnik to go through an actual character arc. It's subtle, and he's still and asshole - always wil be - but that doesn't change the fact that his arc still exists and is actually very well done. Stone doesn't really have that obvious of an arc. Because it's not really much of an arc, we're just learning more about him, fleshing out his character. The only thing we know for certain is, that he adores and loves Robotnik and that he's willing to betray everyone and everything for him. Even if Robotnik never loves him back. He's accepted that, as long as he's alowed a place at his side.

And now, my fellow shippers, movie 3. Or rather, pre-movie 3. And the much discussed question: Are we getting queerbaited? Well, that depends how you define queerbaiting, doesn't it? Is it queerbaiting if it's unrequited love? Cause that's our current standpoint. Stone has found his doctor, nursed him back to health, lived with him, been by his side for months (years) and the only thing that is standing in their way now is: Robotnik's feelings. They have great build-up, put this man on a path, shown us how he's grown and now all that's left is to see, how they'll decide to finish his story. If I look at all that's happend up to this point, from a writing/writer stand-point, I'd say, that it would make sense for Robotnik to admit, that he cares. Cause that has been his arc, his journey. To admit that yes: He doesn't care about humanity, but he does care about Stone. Has for a very long while in fact. Be that platonic, or romantic. Doing literally anything else would not make sense at that point and would actually be an insult to their own work. And their writing has been pretty solid, so I'm confident we will get something. Especially since... I HAVE seen the leaks. Now, storyboards are just that. Something from early development, something that could change. Which is why I'd normally ignore them.... iiiiiiiif it weren't for that one line from the trailer. That one. fucking. line. That made me realise: Holy shit, those mad lads are doing it. They are finishing Robotnik's arc. That's when I understood why Team 1 was loosing their marbels. Because,

SPOILER!!!!! he is going to admi it. He is going to admit it to himself, and he's gonna do something so wild and crazy it scares me more than you understand. The only question is. Will he surive to tell the tale? And if he does, will he be brave enough to share that admission with Stone?

END OF SPOILER

I don't have links to the storyboard. In retrospect, I should have saved them. But what's done is done. Not that I cod delete the knowledge of what I've seen even if I tried. People seem hesitant to tell people all they have seen, cause those of us who have, and know the Sonic 2 story seem to have a good understanding of what and when that spoiler is taking place. And especially what outcome it seems to be leading into. But, if anyone asks, I am willing to share what it was I saw. If you really wanna know. If you are truly sure.

That being said. How do I feel about Stobotnik? I don't think we're getting a kiss. But I think (and hope) we're gonna get a moment. A moment of Robotnik being open, of him sharing that Stone means somethig to him. They even have the potential to include a joke here, of Stone perhaps attempting to hug Robotnik, for him to allow it for 3 seconds or so, only for him to punch Stone and say something along the lines of: "Okay, that's enough." You know, something close to the High Five moment, just THIS TIME they actually do the high five (or hug). You can have the feels and the joke. It's still Robotnik after all. It's what I'm hoping for, actually, cause I don't think Robotnik is ready for THAT admission quite yet. A hug though? That I could see.

I know we still have to fight against being exploited and played with, but that being said, I don't think love confessions have to always be that huge thing, that clashing of tongues and body parts. They can also be soft and quite. A moment of vulnerability and trust. Of openness. In fact, if Robotnik were to allow Stone a hug, it would be even more impactful than a kiss could ever be. He's hugging Gerald in the trailer, so they have shown me that they are not afraid to make this man hug.

It gives me hope. And it - and the leaks - are the reason why I'm Team 1. I think we could actually get canon Stobotnik you all. And I'm so hyped you don't understand. Let's see what Stobotnik marketing they are going to feed us over the next few months. I, for one, am looking forward to it. ^-^

Live long and prosper 🥚🖤🪨

[rainba]

When are Kairos and Luka's birthdays? what are their feelings surrounding their birthday? how would they go about celebrating it with their darling and/or celebrating their darlings' birthday??

sorry if it's too much! I just really enjoy learning more about your OCs ^^;;;

I’ve been thinking about when to make their birthdays– I’m a tiny bit conflicted. I usually like to just make my OCs birthdays as whenever they were actually first created! (*^‿^*)

In that case, Kairos’ birthday would be December 2nd, and Luka’s birthday would be March 7th. But… Kairos as a Sagittarius, and Luka as a Pisces??? >_<;;;;;;;;;;;;;

(Ok I don’t take astrology signs too seriously, but I think it’s a little funny ( ´ ▿ ` ). )

Also, it's not too much!! Thank you for being interested and asking questions! ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆

Every year around Kairos’ birthday, he’ll often fall into a mild depression of sorts. ^^;;;;; It only ever brings up bad memories for him. He hates his birthday.

Going to school as a kid on his birthday, only for nobody to so much as acknowledge him. Going home, only for his parents to not even glance at him. No cakes, no gifts, nothing. He’d often spend his birthdays lying in bed while trying to sleep the day away, intensely wanting for it to just be over with. (-ω-、)

In the present day, he often tries to forget that it’s his birthday at all– but he can’t help but constantly check his phone, hoping that somebody, anybody, has sent him a text. It's compulsive. He also waits for his parents to give him a call.

…But that call never comes.

So, when darling comes around and celebrates his birthday? He would genuinely not know how to respond. If you hand him a gift or give/bake him a cake, tears will instantly start spilling from his eyes as he thanks you endlessly.

“Y-you really didn’t have to do all of this…! I, you… You…”

"You're the first person to... To ever d-do this..."

If you spoil him on his birthday, all of the previous painful memories will fade away, and it’ll become one of his favorite holidays.

On your birthday, he’ll absolutely treat you like royalty! He’s the type to make plans weeks to months in advance. He wants your birthday to be absolutely perfect! ＼(≧▽≦)／

Throughout the year, he’ll scrape up extra money and save it up, just so he can purchase you a really expensive gift. Oh, and he’ll make you a cake himself–! He watches tons of YouTube tutorials on how to make one, and occasionally he’d practice.

It… Still wouldn’t taste very good. But he made it with lots of love!! The cake is your favorite flavor and color! >_<;;;;

As for Luka, he doesn’t feel one way or another about his birthday. To him, it’s just another day.

Like, yeah… He was born today… So what? Who cares? It’s not important.

Some of his acquaintances will wish him a happy birthday, as well as his coworkers. His father might call him and wish him a happy birthday. But nobody really celebrates with him– mostly because Luka prefers to keep people at a distance. He’d probably get an invitation to go drinking after work, but he’d just politely decline.

However, when you come along and celebrate his birthday– his opinion on things will shift. He’d suddenly start looking forward to his special day, wondering what kinds of things you might have in store for him! 

(=`ω´=)

And when your birthday comes around, he’ll make sure it’s a day you’ll never forget. Breakfast in bed, taking a day off work, handing you gifts every hour, etc.! He’ll also do whatever you want him to do– only for your birthday. (o˘◡˘o)

To end the night, he’ll treat you to dinner at a fancy restaurant, or perhaps he’ll take you to go watch a movie! And once the two of you get back home, he’ll be quick to lead you back to the bedroom, focusing only on you and your pleasure. 

(*≧ω≦*)

[khaire-traveler]

🧼 Subtle Hygeia Worship 🐍

Practice hygiene to the best of your ability; wash your hands, brush your teeth, take showers/baths, etc.

Take care of your physical and mental health; see a doctor if you can, talk to a therapist if able, etc.

Take your medications if any

Drink herbal teas, especially those with healing or calming properties (stomache, headache, etc.; DO NOT USE HERBS TO TREAT SERIOUS CONDITIONS PLEASE)

Get a candle that reminds you of her (no altar needed)

Wear jewelry that reminds you of her

Keep a picture of her in your wallet

Support mental and physical healthcare or humanitarian organizations

Volunteer at a homeless or animal shelter

Donate hygiene kits to homeless shelters; these are almost always in great demand, actually

Keep your space clean; clean your bathroom and room regularly if able

Get a mug with a cute snake on it (here is one, here is another, and here is a third; I just wanted to look up cute snake mugs lol)

Have a stuffed animal snake (here is one, here is another, and here is a third; cute ones are weirdly hard to find, so I wanted to help lol)

Have imagery of cups, snakes, fruit, or healing objects (anything you associate with it) around

Drink white wine or clear sparkling grape juice (or anything similar, really)

Grow your own garden, especially herbs and produce of your own; tend to plants

Engage in activities that make you happy! Do things you enjoy

Learn about medicinal applications of herbs

Eat well; eat fruits, veggies, etc.

Drink water regularly; hydrate or diedrate, baby 👉😎👉

Practice compassion and love towards yourself

Write affirmations on sticky notes and place them in spots where you'll see them often

Take a self-care bath or shower, especially with soothing herbs like lavender or jasmine

Keep a self-care/self-love journal; write about things you are grateful for (small things like the fact that you liked your socks that door or you have something comfy to sleep on; doesn't have to be big), make a list of your personal strengths at the end of each month and see how you grow, write reassuring messages you think would help you to hear in that moment

Wash your hands/anoint yourself with salt water to cleanse yourself of any energy you don't want (only when necessary)

Have a skincare or body care routine

Try to get in enough sleep; work on your sleep schedule

Start your morning by stretching your muscles or doing some light exercises if you can

Engage with relaxing/calming activities at the end of each school day, work shift, or straining day; find a way to decompress

Be gentle with yourself when you're having a difficult day

Take care of a sick loved one or a loved one who is having a hard time; support those you love

Cook a warm meal for a loved one

Bathe or washcloth bathe a pet; make sure they're eating well; take walks or play with them

Cook a warm meal for someone in need

Learn about/research health conditions that you or your loved ones have; get a better understanding of these things

Know your healthcare rights; know your HIPPA rights (if in US)

Practice being more comfortable asking for help; everyone needs a hand sometimes

Take frequent breaks from screens; make sure to go outside for some fresh air

Take a walk/hike; doesn't matter where

Exercise; get some movement throughout your day, even just basic stretching

Start a morning and/or nighttime self-care routine

Spend time with loved ones

Eat three meals a day

Feed neighborhood dogs, cats, birds, etc.

Practice kindness towards others; holding the door for someone, offering to help someone carry their things, giving compliments to a stranger, etc.

Clean anything you regularly interact with; clean these things when it feels appropriate; mouse and keyboard, car, shower, toilet, doorknobs, sinks, etc.

Do any household chores, especially things like vacuuming, sweeping, or washing dishes

Acknowledge and celebrate even just the little ways you were able to take care of yourself in a day; even something as simple as brushing your hair or wearing a comfy outfit

Engage with a local community; join clubs, join support groups, volunteer at places, help with food/toy drives, etc.

-

I'll likely add more later on. This is my list of discreet ways of worshipping Hygeia! I hope someone finds it useful. Take care, y'all! 🩷

Link to Subtle Worship Master list

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

She knows her time of threatening the BRF is up when they shut the door on her husband, that definitely wasn't on their bingo card. Both of them have held onto the belief that The Crown protect their own no matter what's done and never complain never explain will forever be in their favor as The Firm will never choose to retaliate.

Times have changed especially now that even Americans are sick of her but this one trick pony doesn't know anything else. You can see even she doesn't believe her own words when she uttered that threat. Rachel is single handedly helping major nations in the world throw their support behind the BRF, that's not an easy feat.

I bet even the Hollywood stars are angry because she's exposed their paps tricks and public are easily recognizing most of their arranged "sightings" as something Rachel does. She's made everything messy for them.

Ask from August 8th

Hollywood doesn't care that she exposed the pap stunts. That stuff was being exposed long before she came around by people like TMZ, Just Jared, Perez Hilton, and the tabloid paps themselves when they were pissed at a celeb.

What Hollywood doesn't like, and what actually upsets them, is how brazenly Meghan uses them for PR and makes pretend a relationship that doesn't exist. To an extent, some kind of pretend "everyone knows each other" does exist in Hollywood, is acknowledged, and is tolerated because Hollywood is, after all, a town built on connections and relationships, even if through third-party managers and agents. Which means that celebrities (or their teams) use each other and namedrop each other for PR all the time, but usually there's some kind of kickback. You scratch my back, I scratch yours, everyone shakes hands. The key thing here is that this is all done with consent.

Meghan doesn't always play the game with consent and that's what Hollywood doesn't like. The articles that Meghan put out about how she and Jennifer Aniston were dog-walking besties, that was done without Jen's knowledge (because if it was, then Jen's team would have put out reciprocal PR about Meghan, but they didn't). Using their names to merch places she papwalked pissed them off. Tailgating Cameron Diaz and Gwyneth Paltrow into the sushi restaurant and then running a week's worth of PR about how they're all besties pissed them off. Creating her own PR campaign using Ellen and Portia's own PR/People exclusive (from their vow renewal) pissed people off - and we know that pissed Ellen off because there hasn't been any more Ellen/Meghan PR. Papwalking at Oprah's home when Oprah was on the other side of the country at her father's bedside pissed her off, because that's when the Oprah/Meghan besties schtick stopped.

So it's not the paparazzi stunts that Hollywood doesn't like. It's Meghan using them for her own PR without their consent...aka invading their privacy. And heaven forbid they do the same to Meghan in return. Hollywood, rightfully, sees through Meghan's hypocrisy (she can invade their privacy by using their names for her own PR but they can't use her name for their PR) and closed ranks/doors to her. That's why the only "partnerships" Meghan has are with her momfluencer friends that she pays/donates money to.

[uhhh-i-couldnt-possibly]

I don't know if this is a super obvious realisation but anyway here goes

Basically why I think these characters are so relatable is because they constantly struggle with their self-worth which is really quite hard NOT to in today's times, especially for queer, neurodivergent, disabled folks. And to see these eternal, literally magical and powerful beings exist and struggle with their existence is just reassuring because if they find their way out of these struggles - well, then we can too.

And it's really very beautiful because it's so delicately done, with Crowley and Aziraphale respectively. Crowley is not necessarily struggling with their appearance, behaviour or attitude - that they are actually pretty confident about. It's more about the inner conflict that's being caused by being LIKED and appreciated by Hell. Because if hell approves of you - what kind of person are you? And even though Crowley obviously couldn't care less about what Hell thinks, they still feel they can't align themselves with Satan's side - they rather choose their own side. On the one hand it's because Crowley has once disappointed Her and knows the feeling of not being good enough. So now they refuse to have someone have that kinda power over them again. And on the other hand it's because Crowley knows there's good inside him - and he likes that part of himself.

What he struggles with however is aligning what is right and good and what is deemed acceptable by Hell. It's a fine line she treads - she never ever wants to overstep because where would she belong then? Too evil for Heaven, too good for Hell? No, better pretend to walk the line. And that vulnerability is very hard to admit for Crowley, she only ever comes to terms with it when she's afraid to lose Aziraphale - so she speaks up about what she truly wants.

For Aziraphale, it's obviously different. He hasn't fallen from Her grace, he is safe in knowing that he is "good". But he struggles to live up to Heaven's expectations of him. He only ever sees Heaven as the only true Good and is insecure about his own place in the puzzle. He doesn't fit, because he too questions like Crowley but also because he never wants Heaven to disapprove of him while simultanously constantly disapproving of Heaven (secretly). His self-worth struggles are more obvious in a way because Heaven is constantly reminding him. And obviously his love for Crowley overcomplicates things because of the rules he has set out for himself - a truly good being could never love a demon. Even though he knows that Crowley is every bit as good as he is - not all good. Never all good (just like a human being).

I just think this is very relatable for people not fitting in patriarchal, ableist, neurotypical norms that we were never meant to fit in. Putting Heaven and Hell on a pedestral of purely Good or entirely Evil is what leads to their struggles - if Heaven disapproves of you, how good can you be? If Hell approves of you, how good are you?

If you need help, how helpless are you? If you struggle, how insecure are you?

The point is, they can escape their insecurities by acknowledging their own side. And that they were never meant to fit anywhere but their own side. And that's what we could really learn from these characters 🤍

Take up space and demand your self-worth to be acknowledged and celebrated 💫

[wutheringmights]

Thank your for the chapter. This is me submitting my request for director's commentary.

Sorry this is very late.

But, you know.

*gestures wildly at the state of the world*

This is the first chapter in a long time where I was actively having fun writing more than 30% of it. Writing doesn’t always have to be “fun” for me to write it, but spending most of this year stuck on two chapters I absolutely hated did a number on me. 

I still didn’t get to everything I wanted in this chapter; I have been trying to get to the fallout for the Knights of Hyrule encounter for most of this year now (jfc!), but I’ve had to expand the plot points leading up to it. This entire Castle Town arc was planned to be one chapter. Past Frankie was insane for thinking that was possible. 

Pacing-wise, this chapter really did need to be on its own. The important plot points needed their own space to breathe; trying to shove all of this and the contents of the next chapter into one would have led to a lot of things being overshadowed. So even though everything is still moving along relatively slowly, the pacing is somewhat on purpose this time. 

As previously stated on this blog, I sorely neglected updating AO3 with the new chapter total. There is 6 chapters left (5 plot chapters, then an epilogue). Rest easy. This story will take me a while longer yet to complete. 

That being said, don’t be too surprised if I keep budgeting in more chapters. But if this story needs more than 40 chapters, I will abscond from society and become a sheep herder in, like, Iceland.  

(Sorry to front-load the housekeeping information; I usually keep this stuff for the end,  all of this provides context for my first bit about the actual chapter.) 

I am so happy that pre-heart connection stuff with Proxi got its own chapter, as opposed to being included with the post-connection drama of how Link starts clawing his way out of his depression. 

I mentioned last chapter that everything with the first Proxi meeting was an utter failure to me. While this chapter doesn’t erase the problems of the former, it nonetheless is an improvement and more in-line with how I wanted this Proxi storyline to go. 

Link’s depression baths is 100% me projecting-- I had a season of my life where everything in my life kinda fell apart and I became extremely depressed and anxious. One of my coping mechanisms was to constantly take showers. Like Link, I got up to around four showers a day before I was told to knock it off for the sake of the water bill. 

Depression causing a lack of hygiene and self-care is fairly well-represented in media at this point. I relate way more to depression causing a spurt of “good” habits (that are just maladaptive coping mechanisms in their own right) more, and I want to include more of them into my writing. Link seems like the kind of guy who would overcompensate like that too. 

The events of the chapter were condensed from my original vision. The party and the fireworks were going to be two separate incidents, but I wanted to cut down on the bulk of writing each chapter requires of me (more on this later). Luckily, the original idea for the fireworks also included celebrating a holiday (New Years), so the change was easy to pull off. 

I did lose an aspect of that scene I really liked though: Link knowing he was experiencing a trigger deciding to hide in his cellar, all the while congratulating himself for reacting normally while Proxi is like hiding in a cellar isn’t coping, Link!!!!

Fireworks being a trigger is a bit of a cliche, and a part of me really wishes I found something more unique to trigger Link with. But fireworks is a really effective shorthand, partly because it’s so prevalent in real life, and partly because contrasting a celebratory activity with war trauma is so evocative. 

It’s also very silly how significant events in Link’s life keep coinciding with holidays and birthdays. I want to acknowledge both for the sake of world building, but going through the effort of developing them is only worth it if there’s a plot point attached.

But who hasn’t had moments of great revelations while at the family Thanksgiving party?

I like the idea of various holidays/feasts in Hyrule having different levels of importance depending on your tribe or what region you live in, as well as them being celebrated differently depending on your culture. 

Both the Sheikah and the Hylians would place heavy significance on the feast since Hylia is one of their main goddesses, but they would be celebrated differently. I brushed a bit on the idea of the religious ceremonies being different, but I cut back on sharing more of my ideas for the specific celebrations. 

Very specifically, I wanted the Sheikah to have a tradition of performing theatrical plays of significant cultural moments (basically a kabuki-theater version of a nativity play) (can you tell I was raised catholic?). 

I have plans to do something involving a kabuki play next chapter, so I won’t elaborate more on what the play was supposed to be. However, the play did get cut because I planted Link in the banquet hall with no care to move him from that spot. 

I like the idea of moms who are flawed moms in really normal ways. The way Ayane’s mother is very sweet to Link while having these rigid standards for Ayane is very real to life, in part because it’s based on how a lot of mothers I know act to their child’s friends versus their actual child. 

In a similar vein, I’m also fascinated by mothers who fail their children in such specific ways that it would only be a failure to their child-- like a mother giving too much independence to a child who needs more help, etc. That’s my design for these slow (and hopefully subtle) reveals of how Link struggles with his mother’s memory. On one hand, it’s obvious that he was made to feel like a failure of a child, and he probably knows that was wrong of her. On the other, she was a good parent overall and she’s dead. If you have never experienced that particular cocktail of guilt, let me just say that it messes you up. 

The kids who were doing the snowball fight are Ayane’s friends, which is why one of them remarked that Link was going to yell at them again (see: when Link yelled at Ayane the first time he picked her up from school). Katsuki is the only friend of Ayane’s I’ve consistently named-dropped, so I hope that cued you in to who these kids were.

Speaking of which: I stole that name from Bakugo from My Hero Academia. I was watching the show at the time, and I like the character. Ergo, I stole his name.

Link being very aware that he had been triggered during the fireworks show-- I have a very specific gripe about the way people write PTSD that bleeds through this sequence that I cannot explain in a sentence or two. But what’s important is that I have experienced that moment when your body is triggered but your brain isn’t-- so you can start to feel yourself freaking out while in your mind you know there is no threat, yet the body’s reaction starts to cloud your mind, causing a spiral of anxiety and panic. 

Proxi visiting the fairy fountain in Kakariko is one of my favorite scenes. I just like how simple it is, and how it gives a glimpse into what Proxi’s life is like outside of Link.

I did momentarily freak out after posting because I was worried I didn’t make it clear before this chapter that while there is magic lingering at the fountain it can’t heal. But no one has mentioned it yet, so I think I’m safe to wait until a future chapter to clarify that.

Fairies being too small to have more than one emotion is of course taken from Peter Pan. As a long-time lover of fairies (my childhood hyperfixation), it’s a whimsical idea that I just adore. I originally wanted to use that idea as justification for Proxi mirroring Link’s emotions without Link mirroring hers. 

There would be scenes where he is utterly calm while she’s freaking out or crying because he’s good at covering his feelings, but she can’t. I thought this would rid her of too much agency, so I changed it to a mutual sharing of emotions so that Proxi has more space to her own person while still being his “translator.”

I also like the idea of Link being able to gather the ability to talk, but only in relation to comforting Proxi. That’s development, baby. 

I do wish I rewrote that last scene where he feels Proxi’s joy for the first time, as I really like the idea that he would feel a sense of helplessness and horror to be controlled by another person like that. What’s there now is fine, but it could be better.

Now, onto the present-day section: 

It is very, very obvious that I meant to end the last chapter with that conversation between Warriors and Lincoln. Like I said, the original version really sucked (or at least, my original prose describing what the Chain’s arrival at the castle was like). It makes more sense for Lincoln to drop the information about Lionel in the same chapter Lionel is name-dropped.

Lionel was originally going to be Lincoln’s name, but I picked Lincoln since it has the more obvious tie to the Link-Linkle naming pattern. 

Also, this chapter includes a much needed discussion about the ethics of blaming all of the nation’s problems on a single ethnic group. On one hand, it is stupidly effective to utilize bigotry to gather power, and it’s a rhetorical technique even a more morally-upstanding Warriors would use. On the other hand, that’s an objectively terrible thing to do oh my god. 

So I kinda had to go in and cover my bases of having the characters talk and acknowledge what the implications of Warriors’s plan is. The big glaring issue of this conversation is that it also implicates Lincoln and rids him of his moral superiority. 

Personally, I kinda struggle to think of a real-world equivalent to the dynamic I established in the story, where the institution of the Sheikah does a lot of harm while the people within the institution are experiencing the social-consequences of being associated with it. The best I can come up with is Mormoms. 

Either way, I live in fear someone is going to tell me that this is actually about an underprivileged group I am not aware of currently, and I am contributing to their oppression by not critically analyzing Link and Lincoln’s plans correctly. Which would be a valid criticism to make, but one I could avoid if I had just worked out in advance what the hell is this is an accidental allegory for, educated myself, and then fixed the issue. 

If you guys can think of something, let me know so that I can get started on educating myself and such.

The Castle Town arc’s recurring theme is just bureaucracy, which does not make for exciting storytelling. But I do think it’s fitting for Warriors, who used to benefit from the system, to realize all the ways it’s not made to actually help people. I also think he’s the kind of person to realize he doesn’t have the time or ability to rehaul it entirely and has to settle on trying to work within it.

I can finally reveal my “Midna is a fantastic public servant” agenda. My girl was explicitly stated to be a good and dedicated ruler in Twilight Princess, and I will not let anyone else forget it. 

I really wish that this was more of an ensemble story so that I can write about Hyrule and Sky’s adventures in the Castle Town nightlife

If there is one thing I don’t really like about this chapter, it’s the sequence from Warriors talking to Lana about Cia to the end of Icarius’s capture. Reading it back, it really comes off as very corny and very carelessly written.

I initially planned for Icarius to be captured during the bell ringing in the lead up to Warriors trying to draw the Master Sword

I was imagining a scene where they are watching the news about the invasion be announced and, as Warriors is cursing the bad luck of it all, Spirit would just scrunch his brow and say, “Captain.” And Warriors, who is unfortunately drift compatible with him, would be like “go ahead.” And then Spirit would motion for Linkle to follow, and the two of them would reappear after the Master Sword rejected Warriors with Icarius already tied up.

The problem was that would block Spirit off from understanding the whole Master Sword rejection thing, and I really needed him to carve up Warriors’s hand. 

So I punted this whole ordeal with Icarius off to another chapter, and I have been scrambling trying to find another spot for him.

Ultimately, I do think this worked out because I have no idea what the hell the would have done with Icarius during the networking scenes.

After being disappointed with how this version of the capture scene turned out, I was very tempted to cut it and just have Spirit and Linkle haul Icarius into Warriors’s office, but I didn’t want to cut out a scene of Linkle being a bit of a badass. 

And let’s talk about Icarius, because it’s been a while since we’ve thought about him.

First off, you can tell that I was having a lot of fun this chapter trying to find ways to let them have a conversation with Icarius when he can’t speak verbally and they don’t know his sign. The dictionary combined with the gesturing seemed like a fun but logical solution.

Though, in the back of my brain, I kept remembering how stupid I thought that bit in Iron Flame about the translation was. So when I wrote about Warriors translating Faovarian with just a dictionary, I was sitting there feeling like the biggest idiot in the world. 

This scene also reminded me how tragic it is that Icarius can’t speak, because I know how hilarious this man would have been with sassing his captors. 

I also got a chance to put forth the core tenant of Icarius’s feelings for Warriors: mainly, that he thinks Warriors is both insanely handsome but ultimately stupid as all fuck. 

When I first made it clear that the House of Nephus was a reflection of Warriors, Time, and Spirit, I totally thought someone would put together that Icarius, as the Spirit-equivalent, was trying to save Philo. No one ever remarked on it, so maybe it was too obvious to mention. 

(If I were to ever do another one-shot side story in the style of Smoke the Pipe, I would probably do one about Icarius’s life before the events of the plot, if only because I have a lot of ideas of how Faovaria works and how Icarius and Nephus got to where they are now; though I doubt anyone would be as interested in my silly OC’s as I am). 

I also thought someone would figure out Philo was related to the whole Fused Shadow plotline when, in his introductory scene, he used Midna’s powers. I thought it was obvious. 

I also like the idea of the Dark Interlopers having different legacies outside of Hyrule; generally, I’ve just had a lot of fun taking different bits of canon Hyrule lore and figuring out how they could fit into a greater world. My favorite (not in this chapter) example is when Nephus referred the the Three Goddess as oracles mistaken for goddesses. We know Din and Nayru appeared as oracles outside of Hyrule, and Nephus’s line implies that they are still important folk figures in Faovaria, just not goddesses. 

Spirit’s snarky good luck being the nice version of his thoughts is exactly the kind of bullshit I would pull as a socially-inept kid; he realized what he originally wanted to say was too mean so he wanted to convey some kind of recognition that he understood Icarius’s thought process but still wanted to warn him how hard it was going to be. He really, genuinely thought good luck would be the nicest way of conveying that. He’s so bad with people. I love him. 

And, god. Time. Poor guy has walked around his entire life feeling like there has only ever been one person who ever cared for him, only for that one person to turn around and be like yeah I regret helping you. 

Then there’s Warriors who is starting to learn to not let himself get tangled up in fights against Spirit, who is so wrapped up in trying to stop this war that he doesn’t even have the energy to entertain Spirit’s bullshit right now.

Which leaves Spirit alone, with only Warriors to cling on to. 

His conversation with Warriors in the hallway is another favorite of mine, if only because it sounds really natural. I think my dialogue is too on the nose sometimes, so I’ve been trying to let the characters talk around themselves way more. 

Hot tip: if you are writing about men, make sure you mention their facial hair and shaving habits. As a long-time lover of facial hair, I love hearing about characters growing stubble or having to remember to shave in the morning. It’s a little detail that gets overlooked in fiction a lot, and I’m so bitter about it. 

Oh, the newspaper article. Let’s chat about that now. 

Public opinion plays a big role in political intrigue, which I never see enough stories taking advantage of. I knew from the beginning that I wanted Warriors to get exposed in the newspaper after he was well into cleaning up his act, but I wasn’t sure how to go about it. 

As many of you know, one of my most infamous cuts from the story is an original character who was a journalist during the war producing propaganda about Warriors. In the present day, this journalist would have felt so guilty for the role they played that they would have been on the pursuit of writing a story about what really happened back then. They would have been a neutral to antagonistic force in Warriors’s life. 

You can probably guess that this expose was supposed to be their work-- a decision to finally report truthfully despite being asked to lie once more for the greater good. I really wanted to juggle with the ethics of propaganda, and to have a moment where Warriors straddles that moral line by wanting to utilize propaganda for the greater good (but for real this time). 

I cut the character because a) there were too many bozos in this story already, and b) I didn’t think that a plotline about propaganda would be the most useful in a story about a kingdom where the people’s opinion does not matter (in retrospect, that’s a misconception on my part about what propaganda is used for). 

In some ways, I think it did hurt the story a bit to not have a specific character attached to the article. However, I ultimately like having no specific journalist attached to it since it places the blame more squarely on Impa. 

Writing the full article out was most definitely not the best use of my time or the best use of space, but I was worried that if I did not, readers would be really confused as to what the general public did and did not know. 

Stylistically, the article is meant to be more of an profile/investigation piece over a straight-informative blurb. The best example I can find is this article from the Cut on Usha Vance.

(I have spent the past month deep in the anti-Vance think pieces. Fuck both of them. I can’t believe I am going to have to keep hearing about these bastards probably for the rest of my life.)

As you can see, there is the occasional use of first person and more storytelling techniques used alongside facts. I chose this style mostly to make sure the article wasn’t too boring to read. 

I also struggled picking good numbers for the article that would sound severe, without being over the top. I think I picked some realistic stats. But if I messed up, it would be very funny and would invalidate all of my bitching about Fourth Wing’s bad numbers. 

At least I got to use this as an opportunity to drop some new info on you, such as...

Marigold was 19 when she gave birth to Warriors. Yeah, there’s a bit more to the Marigold story that is still left to be uncovered. There is a thematic reason to why Warriors does not seem to acknowledge how young she was when she became his mother.

How do I put this? There’s an irony in him knowing that he was failed by being made responsible for the kingdom at 17, and then not realizing that Marigold was also failed in a similar way. I think people generally have a problem realizing that the problems they see in the world are more widespread than they are, and that they take on multiple forms. And when one thing is wrong in the world, it usually is reflected elsewhere in an unexpected way. 

Warriors believes that Marigold had a responsibility to take care of him because she was his mother despite her age. Warriors had a responsibility to be the hero, despite his age. He understands that just because society at large saw this as his duty, it doesn’t mean it was right. He doesn’t realize this wasn’t Marigold’s duty either to take care of him.

I explored this idea earlier in the story with the use of child soldiers being contrasted with Kat’s underage prostitution. 

Also, Anders Brecht. His last name is a reference to Bertold Brecht, the playwright.

It’s nice to get his story out of Warriors’s perspective of my friend betrayed me and into this is a well-educated activist who was executed for trying to make positive change in the world. To this day, it surprises me how many people were not sympathetic to the turncoats in this story.

Another thematic point: both Anders and Marigold were the Hyrulean-equivalent of leftists. Despite having their influence on him, Warriors still turned out far more moderate than them, and far more prone to causing harm. Insert rant here about how just because you surround yourself with good people doesn’t mean you will turn out like them, etc. 

Spirit being ashamed about the article-- Spirit is definitely someone who understands that just because someone knows you went through some shit, it doesn’t mean they will really give you the validation you want. He’s what happens when the vitamin fantasy doesn’t yield the acknowledgement you thought you were going to get. 

And, finally, Warriors gets put into a corner and manages not to resort to using Spirit to his advantage. I enjoy that Warriors’s determination to not use Spirit as a pawn to sway public opinion back into his favor comes at the cost of, well, being on the verge of losing the goddamn fight. Oh Warriors, you can be a better person now but being a good person doesn’t win wars. 

While the opening conversation between Lincoln and Warriors would have 100% worked better at the end of the last chapter, I do think it’s nice that their conversations are bookends. 

I do think it’s kinda silly that celebrities have to apologize for doing something wrong to the general public, and a part of me wanted to use this story as a means to point that out. But I also have to admit that there is a social reason why we expect it, and I have come out on the side of pro-apology. 

This is the first time in-story that Lincoln hugs Warriors. 

Warriors really needed someone to tell him that they were proud of him and, I won’t lie, I also kinda needed it at the moment of writing. As much as Warriors still has a lot to learn and improve on, it feels good to see him get some of the praise he desperately needs. 

Warriors’s character arc really is just him realizing that while he has to do his heroic duties, he would much rather be living a quiet domestic life with his family. Well, he always knew he wanted that. He just went about it wrong with Spirit and Time. He’s just getting to start over with a better perspective and less coercion. 

And finally, the Knights of Hyrule are arriving. I’m not lying when I say that I have spent most of this year trying to get to this stupid plot point. I thought the trip to Castle Town to now was going to be one chapter. That was back in March. It’s November now. Ugh. 

So yeah. That’s the chapter. 

You might have noticed that my style is a bit different this chapter. Looking back on old chapters, I can see myself overwriting in a lot of places, especially in the narration the explore’s Warriors’s thought process. I’ve been trying to cut that back in order to both clean up my writing and cut down on the sheer bulk of words every chapter requires.

I think it’s working out so far, but I won’t blame anyone for thinking the chapter is a little underwritten, or it seems like I’m putting in less effort into the story. 

Ideally, I would like to get two more chapters out by the end of the year-- one for each month. I have no idea how that will work out when I am as busy as usual and the holidays are coming up. But I will try my best. 

(I also just realized that there is three weeks left to the month and I have not started the new chapter yet. Oof.)

(If I keep up the chapter a month pace, the story will end around April, aka: CTB’s next birthday.)

Thank you to everyone who has kept up with this story for so long. I love writing long stories, but there’s always a point where readership peters out (not surprising; comes with the art form). CTB has long hit this point (taking a four month break this year did not help), so I appreciate everyone who has kept up so far and everyone who has recently given this story a shot. Hopefully the next chapter will worth all the time and dedication you have shown this story so far <3

[cowgurrrl]

Hi! Love the writing. Could I please request Joel with teenage twins. I just think him being caught in the middle of two teenagers fighting about who stole who’s shirt and being scared for his life is hilarious and kind of sweet.

Holy shit i love this

Salad Days

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

Author's note: you know that video of Dave Grohl where he's talking about being a dad and the best part and he goes, "Having children that don't fucking care that you're a rockstar. My kids don't give a shit if I'm in the Foo Fighters. They're like 'Daddy, I need a smoothie 🙄 NOW." That's what this gives.

Summary: The T-Shirt Coup [1.2k]

Warnings: the girls are sixteen in this, that's literally it

"Sophia Parker and Violet Isabelle Miller! If you're not down here in five minutes, I'm leavin' without you!" You yell up the stairs. Joel chuckles from his place at the kitchen counter, shoveling cereal into his mouth like it's his last meal, and you give him a look. "What?"

"You had an accent when you yelled at them." He says. You scoff and walk over to him, stealing a sip of coffee from his mug. 

"I did not."

"You totally did."

"Even if I did, which I didn't, you should take it as a compliment." You say, busying yourself with some mail left on the counter. You feel him raise his eyebrows before you see it, and he puts down his bowl to wrap an arm around your waist and pull you into his chest until your shoulder presses into his sternum. You ignore him and his stupid Laker's shirt he knows you love and read the same letter from the girls' school over and over again.

"Yeah? Why's that?" 

"I've been married to you for twenty-two years, and you're just now finally rubbing off on me. It's something to celebrate, really." You snark, and he laughs. It's one of his big, full laughs that makes him throw his head back. The sight makes your heart shine.

"You're an asshole." He says lovingly, taking the mail he knows you don't care about out of your hand and turning you so he can have your full attention.

"Yeah, yeah," you laugh as you lock your arms around his shoulders. "What do you have planned for today, Mr. Miller?" You ask, and he sighs.

"I gotta go into the studio. We just signed a new band, and we're havin' a meeting to talk about the next album," he says. Despite the annoyed tone he's adopted, you can see how excited he is about this new venture. He loves allowing new, young bands to make something fresh. He says it keeps him young. You know it's what he was meant to do all along. "What bout you? What're you doin' today, Mrs. Miller?"

"One of my old students has a project they want to pitch for me to produce. She's brilliant and an amazing writer, so I'm sure I'll say yes and shell out all our money."

"For the children," he says dramatically, and you laugh. "She's lucky to have you in her corner. I'm sure it'll be great." His words hit right where they need to, and you press yourself closer to him.

"You're a sap." Your words ghost over his lips, and his hand slides into your back pocket like always.

"Yeah, yeah." He breathes. You're less than an inch apart, and it wouldn't take much movement to actually kiss him, but you like being this close to him. You like counting all his freckles and watching him try to decide who will be the first to break. His lips barely graze yours when suddenly stomping feet and a loud argument make their way down the stairs and into the kitchen. You take a deep breath as you and Joel turn to look at the girls, who barely acknowledge how you're wrapped up in each other because they always see you being affectionate with each other. Joel Miller has not gotten more subtle about his PDA in his old age.

"Mom, please tell Violet this is my shirt!" Sophia demands, tugging on the fabric of a worn UT shirt. 

"I literally wore it last week! You commented on it and everything!" Violet looks to you. "Do you remember, Mom? I was wearing it when we went to Trader Joe's on Thursday."

"That's true. You were," you say, making Sophia's jaw drop. Of the two, Sophia has always had a little more flair for the dramatics, something she definitely gets from you. On more than one occasion, Sophia has done or said something ridiculous, and Joel bursts out laughing because he thinks it's something you would do or say. "But Vi, I told you last week that you stole my shirt from my closet, and I wanted it back. I thought you were gonna, at least, wash it first."

"Ew! You didn't wash it?!" Sophia screeches.

"Of course, I did, dipshit! I just... forgot Mom wanted it back." 

"Wait a second," Joel says, finally catching up with the argument. He looks between the shirt and the three of you before tilting his head to give you an are-you-fucking-serious-right-now look. "I've been lookin' for that for weeks! That's my shirt." He says. Suddenly, it all connects. You stole it from Joel. Violet stole it from you. Sophia stole it from Violet. As the realization settles over the room, Sophia walks over to Joel, puts her hand on his shoulder, and squeezes like a disappointed teacher.

"Our shirt." 

"Communism shirt!" Violet yells, making you laugh so hard that you stumble against Joel.

"You can't just yell 'communism shirt' and expect me to not want my shirt back." He tries to argue.

"Dad! You're not listening. It's a community shirt. Get with the times, old man." 

"Old man?!" 

"Hey, I happen to think he's a very hot and sexy old man." You jump in, and the girls groan.

"Thank you, baby," Joel says as he kisses you firmly. The girls boo and pretend to cover their eyes in disgust, making you all laugh. You pull away from Joel, but he chases your lips for a few quick kisses until he finally lets you go.

"We're gonna be late if we keep talking about the communism shirt. Girls get in the car, please," you say, stealing one more sip of coffee from Joel's cup, and the girls groan in protest as they slip on their backpacks and walk to the front door. You smile as you look at Joel, alone again for just a second. "You gotta start hiding your shirts better otherwise, they're all gonna become Marxist property." 

"This is somethin' they should really put in the parenting books," he says, and you laugh. He grabs your purse from the kitchen table for you and kisses you again as he slides it up your arm. "Love you."

"Love you, too. Let me know how the album meeting goes."

"Let me know how the pitch goes." He echoes. This is how much of your life has been together: letting each other go and make creative decisions while supporting them no matter how they play out. Many Hollywood couples get divorced because they can't learn how to give their partner the support and patience they need to create art. You and Joel have always been good about making sure the other feels supported and heard but not weighed down by differing artistic opinions or thoughts. He has his work, and you have yours, and you make it work. It's one of the reasons you love him so much. That and the fact that he still walks you to your car and opens the door for you after more than twenty years together. Granted, he smacks your ass in front of your daughters while you're climbing into the car, but that's par for the course. 

He blows kisses to his teenage daughters in the backseat and waves as you roll down the driveway, standing there until you disappear around the corner. His cologne is imprinted on your shirt collar, and you can still feel his lips on yours when Sophia sits up in her seat.

"I can't believe Dad didn't know about communism shirt."

[darcytaylor]

I recently found your blog after hearing you mentioned on a discord I joined. I’m very glad I have. I’ve got very caught up in speculating the ship and it’s become draining and, I realise, unhealthy. After reading back over last few weeks, I’ve enjoyed your observations and insights, I have come to the realisation that we really don’t know anything for sure, it’s all speculation. And, as a fandom, perhaps avoiding certain realities by changing narratives. As a result, the fandom has become so whipped into a frenzy. So, it’s been a refreshing wake up call reading your blog.

Regarding Nicola and Luke, I have some thoughts I’d like to share ( for no other reasons than it feels a safe space to share and perhaps for others to read and acknowledge they’re normal human beings like us) I actually really feel for Nicola at the moment. She’s at an important stage in her life. A point where you may be thinking about where to go next and what you want for your life in the future. She’s a very giving, nurturing person, we can see she cares and supports her friends. My hope is that she has strong support back as her life is changing. She’s certainly in the spotlight and I think she’s at risk of overdoing things and burning out as she finds her way up. She’s appeared overwhelmed at times recently. This is my intuition.

re Luke, I hope he’s doing well. I’m very fond of him. He’s been very quiet and has had a lot of negativity on him for his life choices . I do think he’s made some unwise choices. Which. I think may have been impacted by the pressures of being a lead, perhaps personal pressure to change his outward appearance, a long term relationship break up, and then all the promotions. As an introvert, I feel this may have overwhelmed him? I also wonder if he’s afraid to take the next step ( like Nicola has) as it may impact the dynamics of friendships/relationship in terms of his and their own status ? It can be very hard to navigate higher achievements if you’re moving forward more quickly than the people in your life. There are always feelings involved from each side, both good and bad. So maybe it’s easier to stay lower key. Who knows? But I do feel , again, just from my own intuition, that there’s a lack of confidence behind decisions made, which is sad to think.

Thank you for reading if you’ve got this far. It has been quite cathartic to write it down before I take a step back, and remain hopeful for them finding true happiness, however that looks.

Sorry for the late response to this ask! I’m really glad you found my blog and that it’s given you a bit of a wake-up call with all the speculation going around. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in fandom drama, especially when narratives keep shifting and people start projecting their own feelings onto public figures.

I appreciate your insights about Nicola and Luke - just from reading your ask, I can see you have some empathy! Nicola is at a pivotal point in her life, and having solid support as she navigates these changes is incredibly important. It’s tough that she doesn’t live close to her family, but I know she views her friends in London as family because of that (she said that in an interview once). The pressures of being in the spotlight must be overwhelming, so I totally understand why you’d feel concerned for her well-being.

As for Luke, the pressure of being a lead is a lot to handle, especially for an introvert. Your intuition about his lack of confidence is an interesting take that I haven’t really considered, but I have wondered if he’s trying to figure out what kind of actor and celebrity he wants to be.

It’s definitely good to take a step back and process everything going on. It’s completely valid to care about their happiness while recognizing how wild their situations are. Here’s hoping they both find what they’re looking for in life, however that looks!

[everythingblackblack]

It's funny because I used to see a headcanon floating around the fandom that Hakuba was sad that Kudou was Meitantei (great detective) while he was Hebo-tantei (hack detective/basically not actually that good at his job).

Kudou's nickname comes from when he acknowledged him as a child on his level then discovered he was the real 'Sleeping Kogorou' and actually the Great Detective of the East (I also don't think Kaito likes the nickname KID-Killer it's morbid for the media to call a child exposed to really murderers a killer).

Meanwhile Hakuba's nickname comes from when he was annoyed at the celebrity Hakuba thinking the task force were incompetent and he'd very quickly catch KID without them as well as grouping him up with Aoko (immaturely, calling her the idiot inspector's daughter) during the time Hakuba offered to go out with her instead of Kaito if he caught KID (Kaito is so tsundere with her and Hakuba wasn't used to this yet but seems to find it amusing later). It's important to remember that Kaito respects the inspector a lot despite KID and Ginzou making jabs at each other often (Ginzou looks stupid only because Kaito's a genius) and he and Aoko refer to each other with punny nicknames meaning idiot/moron (Bakaito and Ahouko) because they are on the same level of being idiotic geniuses/stupid smart people. There's also the fact that Hakuba insists he's KID (only in private and while completely ignoring Kaito's denial) despite not having enough evidence to prove it in a court of law and will sometimes help his supposed prime suspect, as Kaito is definitely Not KID as Hakuba has no real proof and what kind of competent and sane detective would help an internationally wanted thief for the sole purpose of wanting to be the one to catch him when he's less busy?

Is there any fanfic of this? I would love to read it.

Definitely, I think Kaito totally disagrees with Shinichi being called “KID KILLER”. Calling a person who is dedicated to justice a killer is so weird, but in his opinion the tabloids are trash.

You know? Hilariously every time I see Kaito call Hakuba, “Hebo-tantei”, I can't help but think he does it with some affection. Because Hakuba is a constant in his life unlike Hattori or Shinichi.

Thoughts I have about how Kaito feels about Hakuba and Shinichi:

Kaito about Shinichi: I like you a lot, but I can't trust you with my truth.

Kaito about Hakuba: Sometimes I hate you, but I happen to care about you a lot. I don't think Kaito hates Hakuba, but he is too tsundere with him. I think that even though Hakuba is called “Hebo-tantei”, Shinichi would feel more jealous of Hakuba than the other way around. Hakuba can make KID nervous without doing much.

And that's because Kaito might be looking at Hakuba and thinking “Oh, damn, we're both here instead of working on our social science presentation, which is worth more than half of our final grade.”

And Hakuba just looking at him with a superior smile that says “I already did the whole presentation, added your name even, but I'll make you freak out about it”.

[wenellyb]

Being black in fandom can be difficult. Every last fandom that I've joined this year has issues with racism. It's annoying. Seeing people use racism in ship/stan wars while being racist/anti-black is frustrating. It's probably not healthy but I tend to assume actors and celebs are all a bit problematic until I see proof of otherwise. Also a lot of times I just won't look into actors or celebs outside of the project I seen them in because I don't want to ruin things for myself. That's kinda how I approach 9-1-1.

"And why are Lou Ferrigno Jr stans acting like anyone who's brings out Lou's past posts is a hater and just wants to "ruin his career" because of a ship."

Probably because a lot of them are? Certain fans hated Lou first because his character got in the way of a ship and then they went on a hunt to find a more legitimate reason to hate him and they found his old posts. Many of these fans going around talking about how problematic Lou is because of his old posts are silent about Ryan's current problematic posts and that's how you can tell that a lot of these fans don't actually care about real issues and that they're bringing up Lou's past posts because of a ship.

Some of these fans do want to ruin Lou and his career over a ship. Some of them have said it. Some of them have said they want him gone. It's why they harassed him and then celebrated when he stopped doing cameos and stopped posting on twitter as much. Of course Lou's stans are sensitive to this so anytime fans bring up his past posts a lot of his stans start trying to defend him, probably because they assume that people bringing it up are just haters and not fans of his with legit criticism.

Hi Anon!!! It's exhausting!

Of course there are people instrumentalizing Tommy's past ou Lou Ferrigno's Jr instagram posts to justify hating on the Bucktommy ship, as you explained, but there are people who genuinely had a problem with his racist behavior and can't get over it, which is very legitimate.

Everything you said is correct, and I hear you.

But to be honest, all the posts saying that Hen and Chimney being friendly to Tommy is evidence that he wasn't racist give me "I can't be racist I have a Black friend vibes".

These kind of posts frustrate me to no end. Or when they say Hen and Chimney forgave Tommy why wouldn't you??? Why? Why is he owed forgiveness, when he didn't even acknowledge or apologize for his past behavior? Even then he wouldn't be "owed" forgiveness.

The coworker who's too shy, polite or afraid to lose their job to call out your racist behavior, doesn't approve your behavior. I'm not saying that's what happened with Hen and Chimney but the people acting like Hen and Chimney being civil with Tommy while they were working together is evidence he wasn't racist is frustrating.

It is exhausting, and frustrating and I thought I would be able to relax and enjoy the fandom once I blocked all the toxic Buddie stans, but it looks like I'll have to start blocking some Bucktommy shippers too. Some people always take shipping way too far.

I agree with you but I'm still annoyed and honestly I hate when stans like this start making me hate a character I used to like because of their own behavior. I know you were only talking about Lou Ferrigno Jr, but I derailed and included a discussion about Tommy, sorry.

[starryjkoo]

will always find it so interesting how army made the "jk is a minimoni anti" joke about him being jealous over namjoon....

https://x.com/jklovesjoon/status/1870891537451950488

Oh my god, that video 😬 just… so corny and unfunny. My thing is, why wouldn’t they just make it a namjikook throuple thing - aren’t ARMYs all about poly-BTS? That’s why the ARMYs who make it about only n*mkook are so transparent to me… 👀

Anyways, imo one of the reasons for this is because there’s actually a lot of HL x JM/JK shippers in this fandom who feel a similar way about Jikook as tkkrs do (just not as extreme lol). Maybe 90% of the fandom are shippers & that also includes a lot of HL x ML shippers who operate like, well, shippers. It doesn’t really matter if they think their ship is real or not, it’s still pretty common to feel jealous/resentful when another “rival” ship is getting all the moments they want for their own ship - especially when a lot of BTS shippers are basically Y/N’s who heavily project onto one member of their ship while being infatuated with the other.

This is pretty common in shipping in general, tons of fictional ships have absolutely batshit insane fanwars so it wouldn’t surprise me if there were lots of non-serious BTS shippers who also got weird and dismissive about Jikook out of the same kind of petty jealousy that tkkrs feel. They don’t even have to be a shipper to feel that way tbh, some people are just really attached to the idea of their faves being the closest (and I’m not saying everyone who ships other pairings that involve JM/JK feel this way, plenty are normal and even like jkk, but there’s definitely a large enough group who are super weird about it…)

I think this is one of the reasons why so many Jikook moments get so heavily OT7-ified compared to other duos. The way that the fandom still refers to JK’s JM live as JK’s "BTS content" live is the biggest example of this to me, it’s actually insane. I remember the way the quotes were just full of people talking about how much JK “missed his hyungs” and how he’s “watching BTS content just like me!”. It felt like none of them even acknowledged that it was a Jimin teasing video either, the whole thing was pretty wild. It's sort of the same situation with AYS and the kinds of clips that would circulate ARMY spaces vs the ones that were noticeably absent.

Like, can you imagine how many ARMYs were probably a little bothered by JK saying that the AYS trips were the best of his life? - literally every brand of JK shipper + the really intense OT7 ARMYs who want to think that they’re only happy as seven and have no individuality outside of being a group, hopefully you know the sort of ARMYs I mean, obviously I know JK loves the group and I’m sure the next BV will be very meaningful.

Anyways, sorry for giving you such a long and serious answer to this lmao 😭 it’s a petty rant and not that big of a deal or anything, but it’s just kind of tiring the way this fandom is constantly downplaying jkks bond, picking it apart and making it about other members. It would be nice if they could just give jkk their flowers and celebrate their moments w/out so much obvious jealousy or whatever. And ofc I don’t care what other people ship or if someone wants to make that whole mini/moni thing about nmkook because they ship it, it’s just annoying that those people will pose as non-biased ARMYs and how all of that has really impacted the whole fandom climate & how jikook are treated/talked about. It’s definitely not the end of the world or anything, but it annoys me enough to rant about every now and then lol.

Also, ofc I know there’s plenty of cool non-jkkr ARMYs who do totally appreciate and hype Jikook!! Maybe even the majority of them are totally normal about it, it’s just that there's enough people who are like this that it’s noticeable and annoying.

I was talking about this with someone the other day but - I’m not sure if you know what a “NOTP” is - I’m pretty sure Jikook make up the majority of NOTPs in the fandom lol.