#when she does something nice for me on purpose she uses it for a guilt trip

[sassmill]

Feeling kind of hollow today

[toxicanonymity]

can you do really like possessive joel. like she posts a pic of herself in a skin tight dress or bathing suit and joel literally makes her delete it. joel would be like “why should anyone else but me see that?” or he’s like “are u upsetting me on purpose, baby?” ykwim like manipulating possessive joel

Snapchat

1.1k, stepdad!Joel x f!reader

stepdad master | joel master

SUMMARY: You snapchat Joel some steamy videos and his responses are sexy. Then you show up at his house and before you go inside, you post a pic on insta that he thinks should be just for him.

NSFW 18+ big girthy legal age gap, possessive!Joel, sexting, stepcest, mutual masturbation, vaginal fingering, angst/guilt

A/N: Instagram but can be read alone. NEXT: Uber

After you caught Joel jerking off to your instagram and made him finish in front of you, you texted him, “no one uses instagram anymore. you should get snapchat” and gave him your username.  

Now, a few times a week, you’ll snap him something sexy.  It's nothing explicit, just enough skin to drive him crazy. More skin than instagram.  His reaction is always hot.   Sometimes just a chat like “wish I could put my head between those legs” or “why do you have to be so goddamn hot?”  Sometimes a selfie with that dark, horny look in his eye.  Or a POV shot of a bulge in his pants. One time he sends a video  where he’s just shaking his head slowly and says “you dunno what you’re doin’ to me baby,” then takes a deep breath and says “god damn,” and his arm starts moving slowly with his hand off screen in his lap. 

He doesn't realize you can see his screenshot activity until you tell him and he responds with a 😳. That sets off an ongoing casual text dialogue, and it would feel like you’re “talking,” if it weren’t for him being married to your mother. 

You frequently think about his cock, and his hand wrapped around it, and the hunger in his eyes as he looked at you.  Even more than that, you think about the way he helped you finish without even touching you.  Especially the way he rubbed his own inner thigh.  Almost every time you come, you end up thinking about his big veiny hand slowly stroking his pants right next to his package, eating you with his eyes while he watches you touch yourself.   

-

Thinking about it isn’t enough.  You need him to touch you, and you want to find out whether he needs to touch you just as bad.  You stop sending him sexy pictures on snapchat.  He’s a little needy but you don’t relent. You stop by their house when you know he’ll be alone, and when you get there, you post a swimsuit picture to instagram.  When you go inside, he’s in the office and has your instagram pulled up.  You lean against the door frame wearing the same swimsuit under a long cover up.    

He turns around and says, “What is this about, sweetie?”

“Thought you liked seeing me.”

“Does everyone have to?” he asks.  He’s trying to be nice but he’s annoyed. 

“Why do you care? If you can’t touch me, no one can even see me?

He sighs.  “So you’re punishing me for not cheating on your mom?”

You walk into the office and lean against the wall to his side. “It’s a picture.  What’s the big deal?”

He gets up from the chair and your eyes fall on the bulge in his pants as he walks toward you and doesn’t stop until he’s right up against you, poking you with his hard package, sending a bolt of desire right through you.  He brings his lips to your ear.   “This what you want? You’ve made your point. Now delete it.”   He goes back to the desk and sits down. 

“Delete it or what?”

“Or this is over. No texting, no snapchat. If you’re not mature enough not to punish me. . .”

Your face burns. How dare he. . . 

“You can delete it yourself,”  you say.  “If you rub one out right now.”  You take off the swimsuit cover up, slip off your sandals, and sit on his desk right in front of him.  

He looks back and forth between your breasts then down your body.  “You’re tryin’ to kill me.”  

He leans back in the chair and his hand rests right against his inner thigh, giving you a Pavlovian burst of arousal.  Your clit twitches.   

He frees his stiff member from his pants and holds out his hand for you to spit in. Filthy.  You grab his hand and lick it instead of spitting on it, then take his fingers into your mouth two at a time and suck before finally spitting in his palm.  

“We both know you have lotion down here,” you say. 

“He glares at you as he pumps himself slowly.  You  lean back on his desk, and he inhales deeply.  He rolls the chair back, either to get a better view or because he doesn’t trust himself.  

You clench your thighs. 

He asks, “you’re not gonna . . . ?”

“Do you want me to?”

“You know damn well I do.”  He keeps choking his hard cock, devouring the view.    

You slowly ghost your clit over your bathing suit. 

He breathes heavily, moans, and his eyes seem a little heavier with each stroke.  “Show me,” he says.” 

You pull your swimsuit to the side, partly exposing yourself, and glide your fingers up and down your wet seam, poking under your swimsuit.  He groans and looks like he could cry.   You spread your legs and expose yourself entirely.  

“Fuuuck,” he exhales and looks to the ceiling for a beat before returning his gaze between your legs where you’re stroking yourself with two fingers.  He scans your entire body then says, “put one in.”

“No,” you reply.  

“You get off on bein’ a brat?”

“Want a finger in me that bad, do it yourself.”  You slide down so you’re leaning against the desk, still partly on it, stroking your wet folds and clit, getting so wound up you can hardly stand not having his hands on you.  

He stares at you for a long ten seconds, chest rising and falling, his strokes becoming faster.  Meanwhile your own climax is looming closer and larger every minute.  

“Fuck,” he says with resignation in his eyes. He stands up, steps forward and his free hand engulfs your dripping seam while he inhales your hair and stands right up against you.  He rubs your slick, throbbing cunt with three flattened fingers as he pumps himself with his other hand.  You tilt your head up to watch his brows furrow even more.  He plunges a finger into you, and right away he shudders as his cum spills into his other hand.  He curls his finger inside you and his thumb works your clit and it doesn’t take long until you’re clenching around his one, thick finger, saying “Ah, fuck. . . Joel, yeah. . .”

“Don’t say my name like that," he pants and reaches for a tissue.  

Your temples feel weak. 

“. . .I won’t ever stop hearin’ it.”  

You put your cover-up back on.  

He sits down in the chair, looks at the ceiling and says, “Damn it.”  

“What?”

He bows his head and slowly shakes it. He won't look at you.  He doesn’t have to say it.  You try not to think about it. 

True to your word, you pull up the instagram photo and hand him your phone.  He checks the likes on the picture and goes to every guy’s profile.  His eyes darken.  

“Guess you’re right,” he admits.  “Don’t want anyone else to have ya. . . ”  He deletes the picture and looks at you regretfully, making eye contact for the first time since he finished.  “I know it’s not fair.”  He hands the phone back.   “I dunno what to tell ya, sweetie. . . I’m sorry.”  

All joel: @ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxiousus @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime  @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose

[pinkrangermemes]

EPIC: The Musical

lyrics that absolutely fuck me up, feel free to change pronouns and such as needed

"A mission to kill someone's son, a foe who won't run, unlike anyone you have faced before."

"I'd rather bleed for you."

"This is the will of the gods."

"Don't make me do this."

"The blood on your hands is something you won't lose. All you can choose is whose."

"You're as old as he was when I left for war."

"How could I hurt you?"

"I'm just a man who's trying to go home."

"When does a man become a monster?"

"When does the reason become the blame?"

"Forgive me."

"We should try to find a way no one ends up dead."

"You can relax, my friend."

"Think of all that we have been through. We'll survive what we get into."

"This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms."

"I see in your face there is so much guilt inside your heart."

"Have you forgotten to turn off your heart? This is not you."

"Have you forgotten your purpose? Let me remind you."

"Don't forget that you're a warrior of a very special kind."

"Don't disappoint me."

"What gives you the right to deal a pain so deep?"

"Don't you know that pain you sow is pain you reap?"

"Your life now is in my hand."

"A trade, you see. Take from me like you took from me."

"You shall be the final man to die."

"It's just one life to take."

"When we kill him our journey's over."

"Captain?"

"You've hurt me enough."

"When I kill you, my pain is over."

"Mark my words now. This is not the end."

"Remember them."

"Who hurts you?"

"If nobody hurt you, be silent."

"He's still a threat until he's dead."

"Finish it."

"What good would killing do, when mercy is a skill more of this world could learn to use?"

"The blood we shed, it never dries."

"I am your darkest moment."

"I am the infamous _______!"

"This way, you won't disappoint me."

"This way, you won't waste my time."

"Unlike you, every time someone dies, I'm left to deal with the strain."

"I'll remind you, I saw you as a friend, but now we're done."

"This way, you won't plague my life."

"This way, you'll close the door and have your damn goodbye."

"Since you claim you're so much wiser, why's your life spent all alone?"

"You're alone!"

"This day, you sever your own head."

"This day, you lost it all. Consider this as my goodbye."

"Don't forget how dangerous the gods are."

"How much longer 'til your luck runs out?"

"You rely on wit, and people die on it."

"I still believe in goodness."

"Lead from the heart, and see what starts."

"And what will we do when it tears us apart?"

"You're like the brother I could never do without."

"How much longer 'til your strength takes leave?"

"I can't have you planting seeds of doubt."

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

"Sometimes killing is a must."

"Friends turn into foes and rivalries."

"Never really know who you can trust."

"The end always justifies the means."

"So much has changed, but I'm the same."

"I'm left without a choice and without a doubt."

"Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves."

"You are the worst kind of good 'cause you're not even great."

"You are far too nice."

"Mercy has a price."

"Unlike you, I've got no mercy left to give."

"The line between naivete and hopefulness is almost invisible."

"What have you done?"

"I am your darkest moment, the monster that always draws near."

"Remember me."

"There's only so much left we can endure."

"Think of your past and your mistakes."

"No, I'm not a player. I'm a puppeteer."

"I can hardly sleep now, knowing everything we've done."

"It's a game of wits, but you don't have to play."

"A foe like ____ is not to be messed with."

"You could be hurt or you could beat her."

"I'll help you conquer her."

"Wouldn't you like your outcome preferred?"

"Don't thank me, friend, you very well may die."

"Did you do something to them?"

"I don't know who you are or why you're here, but let me make this one thing clear."

"I've got people to protect, friends I can't neglect, so now there is no turning back."

"Back at home my wife waits for me. She's my everything, my _____."

"Maybe showing one act of kindness leads to kinder souls down the road."

"This land confuses your mind."

"All I hear are screams every time I dare to close my eyes."

"I no longer dream, only nightmares of those who've died."

"Why would you let _____ live when ruthlessness is mercy?"

"I keep thinking of the infant from that night."

"____, when you come home, I'll be waiting."

"Even if you're the last thing I see, I'll be waiting."

"I took too long."

"I'll always love you."

"Your past is always close behind."

"I see a song of past romance."

"I see portrayals of betrayal and a brother's final stand."

"I see a man who gets to make it home alive, but it's no longer you."

"We've suffered and sailed through the toughest of Hells, now you tell us our efforts were nothing?"

"I see a wife with a man who is haunting. A man with a trail of bodies."

"How has everything been turned against us?"

"How did suffering become so endless?"

"Do I need to change?"

"What if I'm the monster?"

"What if I'm the problem that's been hiding all along?"

"If I became the monster, and threw that guilt away, would that make us stronger?"

"So what if I'm the monster lurking deep below?"

"If I gotta drop another infant from a wall in an instant so we all don't die, then I'll become the monster."

"I'll become the monster."

[misstrashchan]

We talk about "show don't tell" in stories, but in podcasts it's impressive when they can do that through the audio format specifically, and one example of this that always sticks with me is in the Silt Verses S1 EP7, It Carries Few It Drowns Many. We're introduced to Paige Duplass describing her daily routine in a life that is seemingly perfect, that she's incredibly lucky and priveliged to have ended up where she is, considering she never thought she would make it this far, and how harsh and hostile the world of the Silt Verses we've seen can be up to this point, for Paige everything seems normal and accepted, with their safe and sanitized gods that are kept as much removed from people's sight as possible.

She has a successful job that pays well, a nice apartment with a beautiful view, etc. This is all undercut with her following up with "this is how you make things worse" referring to her dad messaging and calling her every day asking for money, seemingly the one black spot in this perfect life Paige has built for herself.

One part of her day we do not ever hear her describe however is her drinking heavily after coming home from work each day. But she does. She's opening a bottle every day after work, we hear the popping of the cork and her pouring a glass for herself. It's something conveyed to us only through the audio. This in tandem with her contemplating that despite this life she's built up for herself, the kind of life that one should be content and happy with, it still feels hollow and devoid of purpose, and she's left wondering if this is what happiness and fulfillment is supposed to be.

It gets worse over the course of the next few days when she learns people are going to be let go and sacrificed as the company she works for rebrands and switches from the Bronze Savant to a new god, Crawling in Ecstasy, which includes her friend Vaghn, and she becomes more and more distressed with each passing day, and trying to reason that none of this can really be happening, that it's too crude, that they'd surely do something more elegant, that the company that she works for that's giving her the means for this comfortable life and nice car and free pastries and wellbeing workshops wouldn't do something like this, and if they do it'd only be to the people who really deserved it, the worst of the worst, and they'd do it out of sight, and if it's out of sight they can ignore it, because it's not really happening. (Paige is also drinking before any of this occurs to when she comes home from work each day though)

It's clear that the drinking is part of Paige trying to numb and distance herself from the realities of what this life and the world she lives in is built upon, because it's accepted and considered "normal", and is also a filling of the void and guilt she feels of having all this comfort in spite of this.

And after watching her friend Vaghn be sacrificed and transfigured into a Saint for the Crawling In Ecstasy and immediately killed, she comes home to her apartment, and we hear her popping open another bottle. A pause. And then the smashing of a bottle, the breaking point to which Paige can no longer numb herself to the cruelties and indifferences of this world and her life, that she can't continue on as she is now, as the world is now, and it's so fucking satisfying.

Again, very small part of storytelling in the series for one character in one episode, but I love it nonetheless.

[badbitchandrea]

Fuck Enemies

— pairing : HOOD!MidProtective!bitchy!Stud!Riri Williams x cocky!black!fem!reader

— word count : 2.4k !!

— synopsis : y/n and riri grew up in Chicago together at the ages 8-9 but always stayed as enemies and riri never looked at her the same ever since. til one day riri texted you out of the blue trying to take you to the house party that you and her BOTH were invited to, in the pool..plus the backseat of her truck and found you cute for that one night and fucked you while drunk, but while she’s drunk she remembers more than you think. both of your minds were hazy. The next day you acted like nothing happened and acted like enemies again when actually y’all was fucking on the low and never told nobody. might as well take it to the grave, yeah? .

— warnings : Public sex, fingering ( reader receiving ) , humiliation, thigh riding, car sex , dramatic reader , blunt blowing, reader is being called out for something that’s stupid, reader has her n*pples pierced but it’s not mentioned. and I believe dats it, etc.

— taglist : @oceean @all4lovemami @pantherheart @f4t3lunts @jordisblogg @shahanaazsoumah ( I’m open to add more people! )

— authors note — just wanted to say, I stayed up until 12-1 to finish this . 🤷🏽‍♀️

• Riri

• y/n or bold white

• Lo - riri friend also

• Riri’s Boy Bestfriends

• y/n friend - vickey - bold white also ?

you were getting dressed for your friend’s house party shes throwing, it was starting a couple of minutes and you weren’t that far away. a message popped up on your phone “riri😹” you looked confused cause she never texted you. Well, not in years but how she did she text you when you blocked her?

“I’m picking you up to go to the party, be ready in 10.” was she being serious, she texted you randomly now she picking you up? Something fishy and suspicious was going on. you really thought this was a set up or riri was just being nice all out of the blue. but you went with it cause free ride, Hell yeah? so you got ready quick and fast but not that fast to the point where you felt like you rushed for no reason .

••• actually 10 minutes later

she was already outside blasting hardcore rap music, she does that on purpose because when you and her used to talk she knew that used to get on your nerves. And it still does, you got in the front seat and adjusted your sparkly dress, stuffing your bathing suit into it. “what’s in that purse.” She pulled off from Infront of your house .

“none of your business.” You gave her a rictus smile holding your purse on your lap. “I know you, no need to hide things from me.” She chuckled . “now if I had a weapon In here then I’ll be wrong right? Oh aight then.” You snapped back at her . “I got one to, I’m not worried bout that.” Riri tapped on her secret department . “you look- nice today if no one told you that” she smirked, looking down at your shoes . “Today?” You gave her a look. ”you must think you look good every day then, you better be lucky I even complimented you.” She rolled her eyes . “yeah mhm.” you said in guilt .

you and her talked the whole ride their and actually had some good conversations, but that didn’t change anything. but she did open the door for you like she WAS your girlfriend . you and her walked in together and your friend spotted you and her thinking you and riri squashed everything that has been going on for 10 years but eventually you and her went yall seperate ways going to hang out with other people. some people were there before it even started but you were only 2 minutes late because of riri ! “Soo what’s going on with you and ri..” she grinned sipping on her straw .

“Don’t play wit me vickey” you nudged vickey’s shoulder . “I’m just playing im just playing, but forreal are you and her you know…” she whispered the last parts. “nah, she just randomly texted me she was gon ride me here out of the blue.” “hmm, seem like some freaky shit going on.”

She shrugged and walked off to get more of her drink. after she walked off you turned your head to see where riri went, she went to go sit with her home boys and a one girl was sitting right next to her but she was already eyeing you when you turned that way with the joint in her mouth .

she looked away smiling putting down the blunt and laid back on the couch . you didn’t mind her hanging out with other people y’all don’t even talk anyway, right? . “Hey y/n , come here!” One of riri’s friends called out for you . You rolled your eyes walking over there, riri did the same . but you can tell in her face she slowly is starting to enjoy you being around . “wassup.” You tapped on his shoulder. “come have a sit.” He grinned looking up at riri, he knew riri and you were beefing at the time but obviously he didn’t care. “so what’s going on with you and riri.”

He puts down the blunt smacking the ashes off of his hands onto his pants . “no comment.” You pursed your lips nodding slowly. everyone’s eyes were on you making you feel uncomfortable and uneasy. “what? I only said no comment, it ain’t shit to talk about.” the girl that was next to riri had her hand right on her spot, side eyeing you. “you scared to tell us what happened, like?” you could tell she was getting smart because some of the boys were trying to hold in their laugh including her .

but the only two people that weren’t laughing were you and riri. Because nothing is funny when you disrespect somebody you haven’t even got to know yet . “bitch what?” the look on your face was so serious and she wouldn’t take it serious . “Oh I’m sorry I didn’t know that would’ve offended you.”

She said trying to be sarcastic. you expected riri to say something but y’all were ‘beefing’ at the time, and the look on her face you could tell she was high or drunk. but she just sat there letting her talk and talk. You were just about to get up to leave until your heard riri’s voice speak up. “Lo shut up talking to her like that, come on now.” She nudged her shoulder with her hand . “thank you ri, get these bitches in line.” You got up and walked towards the back of the house where you friends were.

— riris pov

“Lo! whyyy? You talk to fucking much you made the girl and everything.” she gave her a stank face . then looked up waiting for her boy best friends to response also. “Forreal-” riri cut off her friend by her getting up and eyeing Lo and her boy best friends, she was getting up to see where you were to make sure you were okay. “Have you seen y/n.” Riri was asking your close friends where you were until she saw you talking to your bestfriend and her brothers . you was just watching you have a good time talking to new people and not starting no drama . She was just about to walk up to you til your other friend got in the way right In front of you, Riri knew you sensed someone presence behind you, which it was her .

•••

“Hol on vickey, I’ll be right back.” You followed Riri with her holding your hand leading you to a more private spot “did you bring any swim clothes?” that was a random question but yes you did bring one because you knew it was a pool in the backyard . “Uhm yes I did..” “okay good, change and I’ll meet you in the pool.”

5 minutes later both of you were dressed in y’all’s bathing suits but she had on trunks and a white plain sleeve-less shirt and tied her braids in a buns in the back of her head . you had a 3 piece on showing your belly button with a sparkly skirt piece hanging on the side you put your braids up in a bun just like riri did . you were moving your arms in the water while waiting for riri, she walked into the pool from the steps to you .

“I’m sorry for what happened.” Riri apologized . “It’s okay just tell that bitch to not talk to me.” You smiled “I gotchu” she laughed and you laughed along with her . Riri looked away smiling before she said something else, she used to always do this when she was up to something .

You were quite scared of what she was finna say because she always up to some bullshit especially when she’s high or drunk. She swayed towards you causing you to back up against the pool’s wall, making you grunt. you were so lucky nobody was in that pool or outside in the back yard no where, but you two and the speakers playing music .”you’ve ever been fucked in a pool before..”

she tilted her head slowly waiting for your response, blinking slowly. making you gulp deeply and loudly eyes getting wider knowing what she’s about to do next . “riri? I don’t- think we should be doing this..uhm” you questioned her, smiling awkwardly then pursing your lips. feeling her hands rub against you so softly and lovely just felt like you were on cloud 9 but without being high at all. “you like that, don’t chu?.”

she whispered in your right ear having a good grip around your waist making you arch your back like a cat . she came up by your mouth kissing you cupping your cheekbones with one hand and the other in your bottoms . the tingles were shooting straight through you, your emotions were everywhere you wanted to touch her so bad.

but riri was in control now. you felt 2 fingers glide into you making you gasp and pull away from the strong sloppy kiss “fuck!” a finger came to your mouth, riri’s finger telling you to shush. But you couldn’t handle it.

you were being fucked like this in a silent and huge pool by your enemie riri williams, who could’ve thought. she was very good with her hands she was curving into your inner walls she kept pushing against the sponge texture inside of you making you shake and bite your finger to keep quiet . “p-please.” you whimpered throwing your heard almost giving yourself whiplash . “please what y/n.”

She said staring into your eyes with her blood shot ones . “more.” You couldn’t even get a proper sentence out by all of the pleasure then she hit your g-spot making you jerk “mhmm, oh fuck I’m-” your facial expressions said it all, you were coming but it washed away on riris wet and wrinkled fingers .

“that’s my girl, you were so good mami.” She smiled kissing your forehead . “let’s take this to my car, yeah?” She got out of the pool helping you get to the stairs holding your hand grabbing your purse so she doesn’t forget it, and brung it to the car .

you and her ran across the street hurrying to open up the back door . She fixed her car so she only has to say car tint but she was so high on sex she didn’t even say car tint so you weren’t surprised if someone walked pasted and saw you getting fucked in the backseat of a truck . “take this off.” She tugged at your bottoms, she didn’t care for the top but the bottoms so she can have more access and view .

“she’s so pretty and wet isn’t sheee..?” Riri complimented your slickness and view . She stared at your pussy admiring her beauty she played with your clit also playing with the slickness from it stretching it across her fingers then sucking her fingers. Just by the taste and sight it made both of you moan.

Your legs were stretched across this seat waiting for riris next move . she lowered her head to yours kissing you once again rubbing your swollen and puffy clit pushing her knee at your wet and throbbing hole putting pressure in that certain spot making you move backwards trying to escape, just by her rapidly rubbing your clit at a dangerous speed . “shitt—” you closed your eyes tears staining your face from all of this over whelming pleasure she was giving you “don’t run now precious .”

then she stopped making you confused but you were to weak to move your head to see what she was doing. she was lowering her head and moving you upward some more so she has space . She licked your clit and cunt clean making you hiss by her stinging touch “mhm.” You gripped at her braids making her grunt follow along with your whined out moans . “oh my- riri!” She slipped some of the tip of her tongue inside of you making you moan more louder than the first time . “you taste so sweet mi amor” the name mi Amor from riris mouth would do it to you all the time .

“you close?.” She asked you, rubbing on your inner thigh Kind of muffled . you heard her but stuttered in your answered and Riri expects fast responses “I asked you a question y/n.” She sent a harsh smack to your ass making you answer with quickness “y-yes.” You nodded fast. the last tongue fuck and finger fuck she did to you caused you to explode onto her backseat she licked you clean once again, giving you kisses all down your stomach. to your lips to your waist line . Soft satisfied moans leaving your lips from her soft and sweet touch.

••• next day ..!

you woke up in the bed hair looking crazy and makeup all over your pillow case. “oh my fucking god bro.” You groaned because you literally just washed your sheets and pillow case the day before last night You checked your phone to see what time it was, instead of you looking straight at the time you saw a “The Shade Room.” Post with you @ed in it curiousity got to you and you put in your password and went to Instagram and you clicked on the notification in your inbox and you were spotted in the pool and car with riri together, who the fuck took those pictures? .

Instagram - TheShadeRoom

caption - they got down and dirty, no tints!! #woah #wow #thisissomerealshit!

“oh you gotta be fucking kidding me.” you were groaning in annoyance. Thinking about who to call. Riri? but you forgot her phone number was blocked. So you unblocked her of course to get to the bottom of this but she didn’t answer until your friend, Vickey called you. “girl..you and Riri are on the shade room! That’s why you and her were outside I was looking all over for you.” “please, I don’t wanna talk anymore or at all I’m pissed and tired. I haven’t even got a good morning start plus look-“ you pointed at your messy ass puff ball on your head it was fuzzy and frizzy all over the place makeup smeared on the case and on the side of your face. “well, okay I hope you’re okay! Call me back when you get yourself together okay? love you boo.” you said love you back and hung up the phone. This was the most shittest morning ever . You haven’t even got up to take a shower yet or brushed your teeth you woke up to be on the shade room with your WORST enemie. Legs we’re shore and you were weak so you fell back asleep thinking everything would go away, when everything got worse. you woke up to a loud call by riri, what does she want now..?

Maybe not doing no Part 2

[raayllum]

hi. i always see your analysis and theories in my dash and they're always so well thought and interesting and conecting a lot of things i personally would never think to conect but actually make so much sense when put like that

so hm, not to be weird online, but how does one learn to like interpret and understand what's going on on a piece of midia, yk, cause only consuming doesn't do it? Anyway

your edits are really nice

FIRST OFF this is soo nice omg thank you <333 also never worry about being weird online i'm always more unhinged, this is an unhinged space

which ironically is kind of the best way to get good at literary analysis tbh! I wrote a post about it here but that was more on how to organize thoughts / write meta > finding the things to write meta about (aka the "this feels gratuitous" draft is still in my drafts as we speak — might be time to clean it and some others up and post it).

In a lot of ways there tends to be like.... two main avenues for analysis? Which is an oversimplification but is making sense to me in the moment, and I'd specify the divide is

Treating characters like people (characterization, relationships) vs treating characters like tools (motifs, symbols, plot structure, dynamics).

Ideally, a narrative merges these two things so completely it's hard to separate, and I think TDP does an extaordinarily good job at it. I'll call this marriage Theme since its the main idea(s) of the Story/Narrative and everything should at its best be working together in service of the Theme if you want something cohesive.

I'll use Callum and Rayla as an example just cause I think they exemplify a Lot of how/why this all works and works as well as it does.

If I want to write about Callum and Rayla's internal psyches, i.e. where does Callum's temper or Rayla's gruffness come from? I'm going to look at them as people. They're going to have consistent triggers, responses, contradictory emotions or emotional reactions, etc. This is like the how you wrap a present, the colour and feel of the paper. Any character in a story can technically have any kind of personality, i.e. an assassin can be sweet and snarky (like Rayla) or stoic and rigid (Runaan). That's not all they are, of course, but the characters' personalities often times affect how and why we ship what we do, or have certain favourites, etc.

For example, Callum's primary Narrative Purpose is to be a human mage. He's there to explore the range of possibilities a human who wants/chases magic in the story can have, and we pretty closely follow his magical journey of feeling powerless, struggling and achieving primal magic, and guilt and desperation that drives him to dark magic. But absolutely none of this means that Callum needed to have a temper.

To see the way a character trait can be married to a motif (repeating symbol) let's look at Rayla. Rayla can be secretive — not telling people everything and being closed off about her emotions — and often leaves to try do things on her own, occasionally flat out disappearing. These are her personality traits (characterization), most of these psychological aspects come back to not feeling like she deserves help or not wanting to hurt people, thereby hurting her relationships. She's a person.

At the same time, these traits help us as the audience understand and grasp how the series treats the Moon and its arcanum. The Moon is a symbol, and it's all about changing faces, secrets, and illusions. We don't know whether the ideas for the Moon arcanum (which seem to be loosely taken from Tarot) or Rayla's personality came first, but it's clear that at some point they merged to reflect each other.

If I want to talk about Rayla as a person, I'll talk about how her personality/choices affect her relationships. If I want to talk about how she reflects her primal or how she choices affect the plot, I'll be talking more about structure. If I want to talk about how both of those things say, in a speculative meta about Callum connecting to the Moon arcanum as he understands Rayla (and himself) better, then I'd be talking about both simultaneously (theme).

But those are all like, examples of how you can break stuff down that you see. How do you go looking for stuff / know what to break down?

1) Pick a piece of media, ideally one you already feel very comfortable and familiar with. Book, show, whatever. This familiarity means you can focus less on the processing the plot and more about other elements of the story. Then watch or read the thing but try to pay attention to like, a few pre-chosen ideas or themes. It could be the theme of power, or — I'm thinking for something like ATLA - how the characters reflect their elements (Aang is evasive and avoidant, and air is light and breezy, etc).

For a TV show in particular, it can mean breaking things down scene by scene in an episode to see what the anchoring idea of it, i.e. 1x06 in TDP is all about Soren, Claudia, and Rayla keeping secrets. Soren and Claudia keep their secrets and isolate themselves, because isolationism in the series is usually Bad; Rayla shares her secret, because working through problems and letting people help you (being collaborative) is Good, etc. These messages are pretty consistent throughout the rest of the show as well.

If applicable, I'd recommend starting out with stories where you already know the ending and/or even better, the story itself is aware you know the ending from the beginning (i.e. in Titanic, you always know the ship is going to sink). This can help you pick up on dramatic irony (everyone emphasizing the ship won't sink) as well as setup (the movie making sure we know there's not enough boats, people making the boat go faster, the moment the ship hits the iceberg literally separating Jack and Rose from each other to set up what happens later, etc).

2) If you wanna learn how to analyze, to a certain degree you have to learn to shut down your feelings and biases. This doesn't mean that feelings can't affect how you analyze, or dictate what you want to analyze (I feel very positively towards TDP and therefore I want to deeply analyze it! same with Rayllum) but it does mean leaving "I want this thing so it has to happen" at the door — or vice versa.

The best example I can give is a hypothetical one. For example, it kind of doesn't matter if I — personally — think that Callum and Rayla have known each other that long to know each other well. (I don't, for the record, but bear with me.) In the Text of the Story, they know each other incredibly well, and more to the point, thematically, their senses of self are so incredibly intertwined that them affirming each other's senses of self is like... the only place we could be going. Rayla is "Rayla saves people," so by saving a possessed Callum she's saving herself, and if she goes to kill him, she's likewise metaphorically going to be killing herself (her own sense of identity), etc.

Or for a non-ship example, my real life feelings about monarchy don't matter. I don't like monarchy, I think most western monarchies are crap... and I'd be silly if I brought those feelings into TDP's discussion of monarchy, because they're using monarchy as a vessel to discuss things like power, responsibility, and growing up, particularly for Ezran and Janai (and how often do we see non-white monarchies in media anyway?). And if I want to engage with those themes, then I have to engage with TDP's discussion of monarchy.

It's kind of like how even if something in a story grosses you out or makes you uncomfortable, you have to be really damn sure that wasn't an Intentional writing choice on Purpose or a chance for self reflection before it's launched as a complaint.

Doing this kind of awareness and predictive work also means you'll get better at predicting where stories might be going and leaving ahead of time if something is going off the rails / not going your way (in a bad way).

3) Growing a list of common themes and symbols that stories tend to have. Birds = freedom, chains = entrapment and coercion, grief, identity (particularly in coming-of-age stories), etc. If you have a loose idea of what to look for, that means you can also start to look at the specifics of how stories use these themes/symbols. For example, Midsummer Night's Dream and Romeo and Juliet both feature a theme of love amongst forbidden lovers, but the first is a comedy (love conquers all, even if it makes people foolish) and the second is a tragedy (love is not always enough to conquer hate/violence/our worst impulses).

For example in TDP, although it was in the background in s1-s3, light and darkness has now become a very overt motif (repeated symbol) in both dialogue and imagery. Tracking what those things represent or how the show complicates their meaning (light isn't always good, etc) can help indicate where certain characters or plot beats are going.

This can also mean trying to notice consistent metaphors (i.e. dark magic is often consumed by the caster for spells / referenced with cannibalistic language; dark magic corruption is increasingly seen as spreading sickness/illness) and then being on the lookout for the next time(s) they show up. So much of media literacy / critical thinking is just being able to explain/figure out why you think what you think (with evidence) and it's always a skill that can be nurtured and improved

End of Blabbing

Very long winded but hopefully helpful, and always feel free to ask more questions and/or DM if you'd like! I always love talking about stuff like this and it's such a treat tbh <3

[cold-heart-warm-writings]

What the Ouran Members Would Bring to the Gift Exchange:

Heads up, this is aggressively long at 1k words, but it was a blast and a half to write, so enjoy!

Honey - He’s been forever banned from bringing sweets because he either a) eats them all on the way home from the store, b) eats them at home in the middle of the night, c) eats them all on the way to the party, or d) guilt trips whoever gets his gift into giving him the tasty snack. Thus, Honey is NOT allowed to bring anything edible -  Honey brings the largest, fluffiest, and pinkest stuffed animal bunny that money could possibly buy. 

Mori - Baby chickens - this guy loves his animals, and assumes that naturally everyone else also loves animals, right? He hadn’t been watching his roosters and chickens as closely as he thought he’d had, and baby chickens hatched! So, he brought the joy of life to the gift exchange. This year it was held at the twins’ place, and Kyoya made the mental note to put in NO LIVE ANIMALS ALLOWED AS GIFTS OR IN MY HOUSE in the invitation note when it was his turn to host the next year.

Kaoru -  A collection of his favorite books, teas, and candies. He was hesitant at first because some of the books meant a lot to him, and he was sensitive about being teased about the things that truly meant something to him. He still went with this gift though because it would be fun to enjoy now that it was cold outside, and they all couldn’t go out as much as they wanted.

Hikaru - A giant chest full of magic and prank toys. Some are quite expensive and others are cheap, commoner ones that he’d been researching for a few weeks. It’s an odd gift for the exchange, but they are all odd members, and Hikaru actually put a surprising amount of thought into the gift. 

Haruhi - A bento box. Haruhi was desperate for ideas on what to give the richest people she knew, the ones who had just about anything they could possibly desire. As the day for their first gift exchange drew nearer, and was thinking of ways to get out of the event, she overheard the twins discussing how much they wanted to try her cooking again. Whether a planned overhearance or not, Haruhi thought that a bento box would be a great idea. When thinking it over, the only one who wouldn’t like the box would be Kyoya, and even though her luck in regards to the club was 50/50 for good or bad, she liked the 5 out of 6 chances that someone would be thrilled. She searched everywhere for a cute present shaped box, all green with a red bow. She carefully cooked the rice, rolled the omlet, and put the food together nicely. Haruhi also made some cookies and placed them in a pretty bag to go with the bento. It was a lovely gift, and, as expected, the most fought after gift at the exchange.

Kyoya - A crisp new dollar bill. There is a graph of How Recently have the Club Members Annoyed Me to How Much the New Bill Will Be constantly tallied up in his head. He even, out of boredom, created an app for that sole purpose of being able to show the chart to Tamaki when Tamaki accused Kyoya of going cheap on them all. The 25 recent calls in the span of an hour the week previously about a play by play of making snowman and then Oudette eating the carrot did not help in Tamaki’s favor. Kyoya also gets away with just giving money because, well, he’s Kyoya, and because he does actually go to the bank (or at least, sends someone), and he can make the argument that it’s essentially the same as going to the store. Really, Kyoya should have been a lawyer, everyone that has any other complaints about the money, eventually gives up.

Tamaki - A portrait of the entire Host Club smiling and frolicking while playing Kick the Can, painted by himself. He said he’d taken classes for months in order to perfectly capture the liveliness and love between all of the members.

Bonus: Who ended up with what?

Honey: Hikaru’s chest of pranks. He can’t wait to find more ways to torment his brother.

Mori: Haruhi’s bento box - He drew the last number, and used his Ultimate Steal to steal the bento even after it had been locked in by being stolen too many times. He ate a cookie at the exchange ever so smuggly, gave his compliments to Haruhi, and then finished the rest the next day while studying. It was by far the best food he’d eaten all week. 

Kaoru: Kyoya’s money. He was thinking of buying a new game with it. He’d seen one in the store, and it would be more enjoyable to play knowing Kyoya had bought it. But then Haruhi messaged in the group chat after the party to let everyone know she’d made it home safely (so they wouldn’t follow her home to make sure of it themselves, most likely), warned them all to be careful in the snow, and wished them once again happy holidays. Kaoru decided at that moment that he really didn’t need more money. He broke the bill down into smaller bills and placed them in Haruhi’s bag when she wasn’t looking throughout the next two months for her to find later. That was like a gift in itself to him when she grinned at having found an extra bit of money she hadn’t realized was there before.

Hikaru: Kaoru’s books, teas, and candies. Kaoru was puzzled because Hikaru could just borrow his, but Hikaru shrugged and took his gift quietly. He’d been feeling a little distant from Kaoru lately, and reading what he enjoyed might help Hikaru find that connection he was craving.

Haruhi: Honey’s bunny. She’s actually quite excited for it, and uses it as a resting cushion when she watches TV and studies. More often than not though, she falls asleep and has the sweetest, softest dreams shrouded in pink.

Kyoya: Tamaki’s portrait. He didn’t particularly want it, he claimed, but he knew it would go for enough money on their auction page to support club activities for nearly a month. The portrait is now hanging in a corner of his room.

Tamaki: Mori’s baby chickens. Tamaki is not known for his ability to think things through, restrain himself, or full picture thinking. He adopted the baby chickens and promptly made them his entire family’s problem.

[juleshollow]

Reese/Dr. Kelly decision

(Episode 4 Spoilers)

This one is pretty straight-forward for me, but the choice I feel is "right" still leaves a guilty, sad aftertaste.

I give Dr. Kelly the tranquilizers.

I see it like this: when Reese starts to transform and Wayne arrives, you find yourself in the middle of a crazy dangerous situation that keeps getting worse. Unless you are Hot, you're powerless to stop it from escalating.

I was presented two bad options: help Dr. Kelly imprison her son again or let Reese murder his mother. I felt helpless because I didn't want any of those outcomes, so how could I make the most out of a situation that was so out of my control? By thinking ahead and picking the alternative that didn't have irreversible consequences.

I want Reese to be free AND happy. There are some things you can't go back from, and killing and eating your mom is one of them (seriously, he didn't need to devour her). No matter how awful Dr. Kelly's parenting was, that's something irredeemable that would clearly hurt Reese as well. Do you think Kaneeka and Stella would treat Reese as if nothing happened? Or that Reese wouldn't carry the guilt with him for the rest of his life? Would he internalize that murder is an acceptable solution to his problems, and weaponize his power again in the future? Reese transforms into something supernatural, but what he does with that power is what can make him a monster.

This turning moment makes me think of how all of Reese's story is about choice. Joan knew her son was different and she tells us that she had no choice but to keep him restrained for everyone's safety. But of course she had a choice. She couldn't know that he would harm anyone, she just feared it. It's the suffering that she inflicts to her son that makes Reese despise her in the end. I love that the game actually gives you the chance to call her out on that ("don't you think it's a self-fulfilling prophecy?").

She absolutely could have done things differently. She could have been honest with Reese about his nature (and how little they knew about it) and educate him to accept and control it. It's her fault that she didn't even consider it. Can you imagine having a super strong gym bro son and making him sick because "he could hurt someone with his powerful build"? That's basically what she does. She imprisons her son on the grounds of possibility, for a crime he hasn't committed and might never commit. She never trusted Reese, never gave him a chance. If she did, Reese could have been a fully functional Jersey Devil (or whatever kind of goblin he is) that used his powers for harmless purposes.

But Dr. Kelly's fear makes her narrow-minded when it comes to Reese. And in Episode 4 she tries to make us buy into her black&white philosophy - she frames the crisis as a situation with only two possible outcomes: either she tranquilizes Reese and locks him up, keeping everyone safe, or Reese kills her and rampages free to terrorize the town. NICE DICHOTOMY IDIOT, WHAT LIES OUTSIDE IT??

As I said, I want a different outcome and I won't let Dr. Kelly trick me into thinking that's impossible. So, despite being powerless to get my way in that moment, I focus on what I can do after. I cannot bring Dr. Kelly back from the dead. I can absolutely break out Reese later, and that's what I intend to do.

Reese transforms and becomes a bit insane PROBABLY because of the influence of the carving (so a bit my fault 😬 sorry I brought unearthly despair to your household, I'm a Scarlet). I hope that it will pass and I'll be able to reason with him when he calms down. I wasn't hot enough to appease you before, pal, I'll give it another try after your nap!

So my intention is to free Reese and maintain his innocence. Let's disrupt the self-fulfilling prophecy before it self-fulfills! There is a better way to do things and it's about time the Kellys hear about it.

I'm determined to do that, but it still feels awful to know that Reese thinks I betrayed him. I barely said a word to Dr. Kelly when she walked me out of the house, because she acted like we were sort of on the same page while all I could think was "you're still wrong and I'm going to get your son out of here as soon as I can, I just didn't want him to gobble you up".

[chloe-caulfield94]

Different reactions to Chloe and Kate

It puzzles me that Chloe and Kate evoke such different reactions in players. It would be hard to find a LiS player who didn't feel protective of Kate and didn't do their best to save her. But with Chloe, reactions are much more varied, with a sizeable portion of players finding her mean, bitchy, demanding, manipulative or what have you.

While Kate and Chloe certainly have wildly different personalities and aesthetic, I would argue they find themselves in a very similar position in October of 2013. Kate was drugged and assaulted by Nathan and Jefferson. And Nathan attempted to do the same to Chloe, which she barely avoided, breaking free just as Nathan began his "photo session". Remember, when Max learns of the ordeal Chloe and Kate went through, she has no idea what is the purpose of the dark room. Neither do Chloe and Kate. From their perspective, that was straight up date rape. What was your impression when you first played the game and heard Chloe recount her encounter with Nathan? Or when you heard he drugged Kate and took her from the party to some room? I was enraged when I found a photo of unconscious Chloe on the floor in Nathan's room. Only at the end of Episode 4 we learn that Nathan and Jefferson "only" took pictures (and still I think that drugging, undressing and posing people is a form of sexual assault).

Chloe had many other traumatic events in her life, but for the sake of this arguement let's focus on the one she shares with Kate.

Both Kate and Chloe demand Max's help and both vocally express disappointment if Max doesn't do what they want. If you take David's picture, Kate on multiple occasions, both in person and via text messages, accuses Max of being uncaring and part of the problem. She doesn't accuse Max of being a coward, she straight up questions Max's motives, saying that she took the picture out of some sadistic pleasure. Yet I never see players complaining that Kate is toxic or that she tries to guilt trip Max. Because when it comes to Kate, everyone realizes that people who are hurt don't always ask nicely for help. Sometimes they don't know how. Or they are too proud or too stubborn. Or they simply lash out. It's difficult to be polite when something horrible was done to you. So even when Kate snaps at Max, everyone still wants to help her. Because Kate is not mean. It's her horrible situation that got to her.

Why can't then some players look at Chloe through the same lens? Why does she, who went through the same ordeal as Kate (and many other horrible things) have to be polite, patient and stoic? And when she isn't, when she gets angry at the constant stream of shit poured on her head every day, that means she's toxic, manipulative and selfish?

As an aside note, Chloe has more right to demand help from Max then Kate. Max and Chloe are best friends. They both refer to each other in that way throughout the entire game. They have known each other for years. And Max has known Kate for barely a month! The game takes place in October. The school year usually starts in September. The previous school year Max attended a different school in Seattle. We know that Kate and Max had weekly tea parties, but given that Max has been in Arcadia Bay for only six weeks, how many of those they had? We know that Kate's closest friends are Stella and Alyssa. Shouldn't Kate expect help primarily from them? Why is she angry with Max, who she's just met and not her long-time friends, who are completely MIA during her crisis?

Furthermore, taking David's picture instead of butting in actually makes sense. In Episode 1 we don't know who the person reponsible for Rachel's disappearance is going to be. At that point, David is still one of the suspects. The picture is solid proof that can be used later. And if you think that Max shouldn't take the blame for Chloe's pot because it might damage her academic career, then you should also think that she shouldn't get into screaming matches with campus security officers, for the very same reason. Contrast that with not pulling the trigger on Frank, which is really a stupid thing to do. Think about it - two teenage girls alone, a greasy creep with a knife shows up and threatens to cut them and on top of that he's wearing the bracelet of a missing (and likely dead) teenager. If I were Max, I'd shoot. And Chloe isn't even that angry with her if she doesn't. She simply says she failed to stand her ground (which is an apt observation). A few moments later they are back to hand-holding.

I'm not trying to shit on Kate. I like her very much. I'm just pointing out the double standard. Almost everyone is understanding and feeling protective of Kate. But somehow not everyone is willing to extend the same courtesy to Chloe, who is every bit as hurt and vulnerable as Kate is.

[thesurielknows]

Spinning Daggers

Sloane X Aaric Fanfiction

Iron Flame Spoilers Ahead!!

Maybe you should aim better, next time. Thoirt grumbles, snapping his jaws in irritation.

I roll my eyes, Thank you for your concern. I would think of something more biting to retort to my red daggertail, but I’m currently staring at the bone of my ankle sticking out of my skin and having been separated from the rest of itself. I’m sitting in the grass where I landed poorly from trying to roll off my dragon. For your information, I wasn’t the one who told me to jump way too high in the air.

Thoirt snorts, I only told you to jump because I had assumed you knew not to land in a way that would snap your ankle.

“Sloane!” One of the others calls, and I can’t bring myself to look, as I feel the embarrassment color my face. Cursed dragon making me look like more of a loser than I already am.

I did nothing of the sort.

I sigh as Imogen reaches me, crouching down beside me as she examines my ankle. “Oh Mairi, this is not good.”

“Yeah, thanks for that,” I retort flatly, “I can’t get up.” The shame is still burning on my face.

“I’ll take you to the infirmary,” she says and I’d like to crawl in a hole and die.

“Let me do it,” Aaric approaches last, and punctuates his sentence with a yawn, “You’re helping train, and I’m not doing anything important.”

I think I’d rather walk than have Aaric carry me to the healers, but the first years are gathering and the looks of fear and pity are too much to take. “Fine,” I say shortly, “Aaric can take me. I don’t want to interrupt what you’re doing.” I tell Imogen who’s trying to make sure I won’t shatter to pieces at any given moment.

All the older ones do. Mairi’s little idiot sister. Always has to be kept safe. When I see Violet making her way this way, I grab Alaric’s pant leg and jerk on it, shame and guilt beginning to choke me, “Come on, Aaric. Let’s go.”

Do not be discouraged. Just because this small creature must carry you.

Please stop talking, I beg Thoirt. I know he’s doing it on purpose. I feel him chuckle.

Aaric scoops me up and begins to carry me inside. I see Violet pause, like she’s not going to come the rest of the way to me. I breathe a sigh of relief.

The Black Dragon Rider worries about you.

I’m aware, yes.

Then why do you run from her?

I’m pretty sure you know that, Thoirt.

She does, too, brat.

Do other dragons have nice names for their riders? Or are they all like you?

I am the only one like me.

I laugh and try to ignore that Aaric is carrying me like a princess across a threshold.

“Are you feeling okay?” Aaric asks, and it breaks me from my happy lull of arguing with Thoirt.

“You can see the bone sticking out of my leg, so what do you think, Greycastle?”

He sighs, “Of course. Forgot I’m not allowed to talk to you.”

“Um, you made that choice. You’re the one who did this to u-“ I cut myself off. I don’t want to finish it, but Aaric’s eyebrow raises all the same.

“Us? I did this to us?” He laughs incredulously, “Sloane, you’re the one who told me it was nothing. You’re the one who said there wasn’t an us. That there would never be an us.”

We reach the healers wing, “Whatever,” I heavily disagree, but I can’t say that with all of these strangers around, “You can be the martyr all you want.”

I know deep down he’s got a small point, but he’s got the timeline out of order. That happened first. Then I- I swallow and move on from the thought. Then he made himself present to comfort me for weeks. And then we- I blush. But the next day, he didn’t even talk to me. I thought there would something. Anything. But no, it was more of the same nothing. For weeks. Months. Like it didn’t happen. Like it didn’t matter.

The healer smiles warmly, and she practically bounces as she says, “Hello, how can I help-“ and then she sees my ankle and the cheery look falls, “That’s gonna need a mender.”

Figures.

[httpshujii]

OKAY SO I DOWNLOADED THIS KINDA NEW LANGUAGE LEARNING APP THAT HAS A TINDER LAYOUT (I SHOULDVE DELETED IT WHEN I SAW THAT BUT NOOO IM JUST TOO DUMB SOMETIMES) AND THEN STARTED USING IT YK. LIKE ANY OTHER APP.

SO LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO I GET A FRIEND REQUEST FROM THIS GUY AMD I ACCEPT IT AND HE TEXTS ME. AND OFC I TEXT HIM BACK BECAUSE I WANT TO MAKE FRIENDS AND I SAY SOMETHING LIKE “hi!! how are you doing” AND HE DEADASS REPLIES WITH “im master baiting (misspelled it rn on purpose cuz i just hate that word don’t question me pls😔) cuz you so sexy in the profile photos” AND ATP IM LIKE … you’re a fake account, right? and he actually isn’t a fake account (which makes this 10 times worse) and he sends me a dicpic🤒 and i’m bracing myself cuz im pretty sure he’s about to ask for something in return and spoiler: he does😍. so atp im just laughing and having the time of my life on there so i send him a random ss o of a video from ph and leave it at that.

then he texts me for two more days, and i don’t reply and he’s like “why u not responding do you not like me ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️” and while talking to a friend i tell her about the convo and she says “just say some crazy shit and see if he still keeps texting you.” and so i told him i was in the hospital because i got stabbed and robbed while i was out hoping he’s gonna get scared and think i live in the most gruel place ever and leave me alone.

BUT HE DOESNT. AND HE ACTUALLY SEEMS CONCERNED. AND I TALK A BIT MORE WITH HIM (out of guilt) and with some exceptions of being super fucking cringe he’s actually nice amd wants to get to know me ☹️ and today while i was sleeping (timezones yk) he sent me a video of him singing last christmas and telling me what i quoted in my post ☹️ and now im really guilty because he’s nice (with some exceptions bc sometimes he !!!almost!!! returns to his old ways) and idk i just don’t think i find him attravtive in that way or something i guess. but that lil video lowkey made my stomach do flips☹️

EW AND AW personally, I would usually say no but this is a confusing situation tbh

[666prophet]

Fallout S1:E6 - The Trap

This one is okay. It showed more of the Vault-Tec(pre-bombs) and The Ghoul. Did feel like Lucy and Maximus were just kinda there. Not really adding to or involved in what was going on. Its another flashback heavy one. Which is getting to the point where it feels like they are trying to make two shows at once.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Spoilers and Deep Dive ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok so the Hawthorns are scientist who are running Vault 4, that means that Lucy and Maximus are in the shit already. So it really feels like Coop isn't big on Vault-Tec. He seems to be going through the motions for his wife, who we still really don't know what she does at Vault-Tec. I think this wrap party really drives home that Vault-Tec is causing Coop to see his wife in a different light. Not losing love, but more of a confusion as to who she is seeming to become. Classic Matt Berry, love the man. This kind of set the reason as to the confusion at the birthday party in the first episode. WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T THEY NEED A KEY? Also you can move without a fusion core, you are just slow and are limited on the functions of the suit.

I'm not surprised that an R&D scientist lead vault would take in wastelanders. You need test subjects and its easier when they are willing to walk through the doors. Or in this case fall through a chute. Alright so Maximus is a virgin. Since when has there been a celibacy rule in the BoS? Veronica's(FONV) parents were both BoS members. Hell you could romance Danse(FO4), so this is new information. I also really hope a love story isn't brewing between them. It just feels weird, like she is someone who is nice to you and now you fall head-over-heels for her after spending time with her for a coupe of days? Whelp, there's a chance they slipped them something after seeing that sign. Cyclops overseer Benjamin seems nice, albeit a tad goofy. There's a lot of mutated people in this vault. The question is did they come in mutated or this was an after effect.

So is this a general flashback or The Ghoul having a bit of a moment? Um hold up Barb. "One of the good vaults?" Ok so Barb is full Vault-Tec at this point. Also with a statement like that, it means that she is someone who is in the upper echelon. Hey, its William Knifeman. Ahhhuh Ahhhuh Ahhhuh. This argument between Coop and Barb is great. It highlights how she is trying to deflect and he is trying to probe seemingly innocuously. It's showing the two sides of how people respond to fear. I feel like she kept using their daughter in order to guilt and "win" the argument/discussion.

So that kind of confirms that the would take in people to experiment on them. Though it seems the overseer is completely clueless. Alright you can hate me but in a gallows humor kind of way that is a funny joke. This is strange that they will talk about level 12 but not what's on that level. Also that comment is strange, "you should know that". So he has to know that vaults mostly all had some nefarious motives. They are really selling the fact that Maximus is falling for the idea of being in a vault. Which really shows that no one knows the purpose of the vaults still. Only those who are in high level positions. Hold up, Shady Sands couldn't have been destroyed in 2277. It is Explicitly mentioned in FONV, which is set in 2281. So there is no way that the NCR in the Mojave wouldn't have known for four years that Shady Sands was wiped off the map. The only other thing is they mean fall as in decline(the fall of Rome). I hope its that because of the small extension of the timeline arrow then a mushroom cloud. If not this is another example of Todd/Bethesda milking the fuck out of FONV but not wanting to recognize it.

Sorrel Booker? As in Sorrel Booke aka "Boss" Hogg? Also that super mutant wanted poster looked a lot like Strong(FO4). Which would be crazy for him to go from the east coast to the west. Well that's an obvious sore spot for The Ghoul. Now the question is who was the "her." Does that mean that Barb or Janey are still around somehow? Meeting at a public mausoleum feels a little odd for a group trying to hide "communist" views at that time. OK so we really are a cult got it. So Moldaver is from pre-bomb, was at Sandy Shores and is the mystical Flame Mother. How did she survive 200 years and two bombs?!?!?!?!

So Maximus is absolutely on board with staying after having caviar and oysters? Two things he has probably never seen on the surface and being a part of BoS. I mean on one hand I can see his change of heart, seeing as this is a dream compared to the wasteland. Though that's a really quick 180 from, what appears to be, a few hours ago. OK. OK. So we're just diving into the deep end of body horror with this huh. Like yes there is the Master(FO1), robobrains and even Rex(FONV) but nothing like this. This is some Cronenberg-esque stuff.

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

Well this was a definitely a wild one. Definitely showed how intertwined the story of Coop/The Ghoul are to Vault-Tec. It also helps give people(specifically newcomers to the Fallout universe) an idea of just how fucked up and all controlling Vault-Tec was. Hoping to maybe see something like this done for Maximus.

Final Score - 7/10

[ficticity]

SHOOT

warning: this story may contain content not suitable for all readers. discretion is advised.

ENTRY #2: Stephanie Rodriguez

I THINK I'LL HAVE MORE LUCK KILLING STEPHANIE.

The cheerleaders and the football team hold practices on the same day. This means that while our coach is holding drills, I get to watch the girls rally themselves and contort their bodies into odd forms and shapes. I never quite understood cheerleading. I can't relate to what most boys on the team see in girls in really short skirts and very tight shirts.

Coach gives us a water break and I use this chance to study Stephanie. She's head of the squad. Nice girl, always waves to me down the hall. That's what all nice girls do though. She's just abiding by social norms.

Ryder stands next to me and dumps his water all over his head. "Coach's really working us today. It's too hot for practice." He shakes his hair out and smoothes it back with a hand, offering me his signature lopsided grin before gulping down another bottle.

I watch him out of the corner of my eye as I wrap a fresh gauze bandage roll on my fingers. Helps with catching. Helps with letting me ignore the fact that I tried to kill him yesterday.

I want to tell him how much I miss him, but the words stick in my throat. I've been feeling this way for weeks, ever since he started hanging out with that new girl, but I've been too afraid to say anything. I don't want to come across as needy or possessive, but I can't help the way I feel.

"You're quiet today," he chuckles. "Lighten up. Graduation's in two weeks."

I force a smile, trying to act like everything's okay. "Yeah, I know. It's just hard to believe it's almost over."

Ryder nods, but he seems distracted, looking around at the other students milling about on the track. "I miss how we used to hang out, just the two of us. But, I don't know, you're really busy these days."

Maybe he feels the same way I do. But then I remember the way he's been acting lately, always with his new girl by his side.

"Yeah, I remember," I say, and we lock our eyes. I look away first and stare at my bandaged wrist. "Things change though."

He looks at me for a long time, his expression unreadable. "Do they have to? Can't we still be friends?"

I feel the tension in my chest, and I have to bite my tongue from saying something I'll regret. "Of course we can. But it's not just up to me, is it?"

Ryder is quiet for a moment, and I can feel him watching me. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asks, his tone defensive.

I take a deep breath. "It means that you've been acting like you don't want to hang out with me anymore. Like you're too busy with your new girl to even talk to me."

He purposely avoids looking at me, and I can see the guilt on his face. "I'm sorry," he says, his voice soft. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way."

I want to believe him, but the hurt is too fresh. I try to push the memories of Ryder and Stephanie out of my mind, but it's no use. It feels like she's always there, lurking in the background, stealing him away from me. I can't stand the thought of her, of the way she looks at him like he's the only thing in the world that matters.

But when Ryder looks at me with that grin on his face, all I can see is the boy I used to know, the one who was always there for me, no matter what. I know he's trying to make things better, to bridge the gap between us, and I can't help but feel a glimmer of hope.

"Hey, let's hang out sometime soon, just like old times." I know it's a lame attempt at cheering me up, but I won't deny his offer. 

I nod, not trusting myself to speak. I want to believe him, to trust that things can go back to the way they were, but I don't know if I can.

He slaps me hard on the back and jogs back to the field when coach blows the whistle. The cheerleaders begin packing up their equipment and so does the team. Purposely, I take time with gathering my belongings. It'll give me more opportunities to get Stephanie alone.

Then I can act and plunge the knife into her neck and be done with it.

"You coming, Jack?" Ryder shouts, already halfway to the side entrance.

I cup my hands over my mouth and yell back, "I'll meet you there!"

That's all it takes for him to turn around and catch up with some of our other teammates. Slowly but surely, everyone disappears except Stephanie. She's still picking up a few things.

Tentatively, I approach her figure, mesmerized by the swaying of her black hair and dainty body.

"Hey, Steph!"

That's not my voice. It's not Stephanie's either. But I'd pick up that high and cheerful tone anywhere. It's not hard to miss a light Russian accent in this part of town.

I catch sight of Darcy only because of her tousled curls, the cropped shirt, and the denim skirt that leaves her legs and half her stomach uncovered. She's beaming as she treads down the field, clutching onto the strap of her brown messenger bag.

"Thank you so much for fundraising for the school play," she starts. "I've been meaning to find you but photography isn't giving me much time to do anything else."

Being the kind girl Stephanie is, she reaches out to embrace Darcy and speaks in that sickly sweet way all members of the female population speak in. "Aw, it was no problem. You guys deserved it, y'know. I bet the play's gonna rock."

"Hopefully," Darcy grins. "It's only happening thanks to you."

I should walk away and leave them be, but Darcy's laughter roots me to the spot. It's not a foreign sound around here. She's always giggling about something. That doesn't mean it's not like music. To me anyway.

"How're things between you and Ryder?" she asks next.

Stephanie giggles softly. "It's third base now – as of last night, actually."

So that's why he's been in such a good mood today. Not like I expect him to tell me about it but, I wish he did. Aren't we supposed to be best friends?

"Woah, that must've been, like, scary. But seriously, how... was it?"

They laugh together before Stephanie grins, lit up in every way possible. "Better than I thought it would be. It was my first time so... yeah pretty memorable."

"Man, I just love love." Darcy glides her fingers through her head of menacing curls and directs another full smile at Stephanie. I can't look away and I desperately want to.

"You've never slept with anyone, right?"

"Just once. It was, um," a static silence eclipses the field as her smile dissipates.

For a moment I think I'm the one who's calling her name until I realize it's Stephanie who beat me to it.

"Yeah, with some guy at my old school. I haven't slept with anyone here."

"You mean yet."

She laughs. "Keep dreaming, Steph. But sure, yet."

Stephanie bites down on her glossy lips. "Ryder's so sweet and he didn't push me to do anything. I know I sound really cheesy but, he's just so amazing. I think everyone deserves someone like him. And you... I kinda hate you for being all tall and so pretty."

Darcy arches a brow and works a quirky smile onto her face. "Meh, I'm okay."

"Don't try to downplay it, Darcy. Humble doesn't suit you."

They laugh again.

She goes on to help Stephanie clean up whatever's left. They drone on talking about everything. I get tired of listening in, but Darcy keeps laughing so I can't physically leave. It's an auditory embrace, which I never get much of.

"Why didn't you try out for cheerleading?" Stephanie asks.

Darcy grabs one of the pompoms and throws it in a duffel bag. "I can't move like you guys can. What you girls do is amazing, but it's not for me."

"You've got more cheer than everyone combined plus that body. I'm sure guys will love that."

"Guys," she pauses and scrunches up her perfectly manicured brows. "Guys are great and all, but..."

To Darcy, boys are like a logarithm. Like one of Mr. Howard's horrific science experiments. Or Mrs. Ivan's complicated English essays. The ones you try so hard to understand but only end up exhausting yourself until your brain hurts. Which is scientifically impossible. Your brain can't physically hurt. But those teachers can make it seem like it does.

Maybe that's the reason Darcy doesn't hang around them too often.

"Hm, I never really think about it. I mean they aren't the reason I'd do something."

Stephanie laughs but it doesn't sound as pretty. "Let me know if you change your mind."

"I will - oh, hey! It's Monty!"

I throw a glance over my shoulder hoping to see another Monty. Nope. It's just me. I'm the Monty she's talking to.

The pompoms are long forgotten as Darcy saunters towards me. The smile is in her eyes, in the crinkled corners.

"What're you doing here? I thought you had football practice."

I lift my shoulder in a half-shrug and kick the dirt beneath my feet. As usual, I say nothing, but vague images of the knife in my bag flashes through my mind. It's all too tempting to just kill them here and now.

"Darcy, you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend." Stephanie raises a brow and smirks suggestively. "Monty, right?"

"It's Jackson," I correct her. It just doesn't roll off her tongue elegantly.

"Jackson Montgomery," Darcy adds, smiling up at me. "A.K.A Monty."

Stephanie nods like she understands and folds her willowy arms over her chest. "So, like, how long have you two been together?"

I leave it up to Darcy to answer her question because I'm too busy heating up. I shouldn't be burning red under Stephanie's scrutinizing gaze, but even I can't control the function of my sympathetic nervous system. Hence the pathetic blushing.

Darcy doesn't seem the least bit fazed by the question. She goes on giggling excitedly. "He's not my boyfriend. We just keep bumping into each other. Hang around and whatnot."

"He doesn't say much, does he?"

"Only sometimes." She adjusts her glasses over her eyes in a way that makes me think she's trying to pick out what's wrong with the question. "Monty's cool."

"So you just follow him around? That's kinda weird."

"That's okay," Darcy continues, ecstatic. "I still like hanging around him. He's interesting even when he doesn't say much. You can always know how he feels just by looking at his eyes. They are a goldmine of emotion."

I didn't realize she could read me so well. I always prided myself on how well I could hide from my parents, from Ryder, from coach, from the team.

Even myself.

"Well, you two have fun with that." Stephanie's laugh is forced and the complete opposite of everything that a nice girl is supposed to sound like. She flicks her hair over her shoulder and gazes at the empty bleachers, suddenly encompassed by un air de superiorité as I remember Darcy saying.

"Gotta go, Darcy. Nice meeting you, Monty–"

"–Jackson."

"Right." She turns to leave. "Jackson."

Darcy and I are the only ones left on the field. My gaze falls to her hazel eyes, then to the stray curl resting just above her brow. She watches me curiously, watches my fingers as they reach for the curl and push it aside.

"It was bugging me," is all I say.

"Thanks."

The conversation lapses between us for a few minutes. She hums a gentle tune to herself and looks off to the school building.

"Are you heading home?" I ask for the first time.

Darcy's smile stretches so wide and her eyes shine so brightly that it feels like I'm staring right at the sun. I immediately regret opening my mouth.

"Monty, are you offering to walk me home?"

My brows furrow in thought and I stare down at my sneakers. I guess I am.

"Whatever."

I start heading in the direction of the side doors with my duffel bag and Darcy in tow. I try hard not to let my eyes sweep over her, but it's excruciatingly difficult with all her light gales and giggles.

"So, you ready for graduation? After your big win last week, it must feel great to be champions and leave school. I know I'm gonna take a year off and go to Russia with my dad when I graduate. But back to you, any future plans? College? Work? Travel?"

I don't smile when I watch her. My facial muscles aren't flexible enough to curve upwards. Or downwards. They just remain fixed.

"Maybe," I answer. "I don't know."

"I've seen you play at practice and I think you're amazing. You keep everyone together, which is grandiose awesome. You should consider applying for sports scholarships."

"I don't do much on the field," I tell her truthfully. "I'm QB. That's it."

Instead of walking into the school building, she leads me around the next corner and towards the front where we start our journey on the sidewalk.

"Quarterbacks are important," Darcy nudges my side with her elbow. "They carry the team. Remember that."

"And how did you come to that conclusion?"

She blushes. "I went to all the football games and I saw you play. You're unmatched, Monty."

"You only came to those games to watch me play?"

My heart gallops, hammering against my ribs. "Sounds kinda creepy."

You're screwing up! Say something else, Jackson. "What I really mean to say is I didn't know I had a fan."

"Now you do."

Darcy's curl springs out of place and hangs limply over her brow when an easy breeze blows. I stare at it, tempted to put it back in place, but my rationale says otherwise.

"I think I should teach you how to speak more languages. You need to learn to express yourself."

I go silent for a while. I'm not overly stimulated by the thought of learning a foreign language. I'm not stimulated by the thought of anything at all.

Darcy is. Maybe that's why I don't say no. She has an inner happiness, one utterly independent of the outside world. And it scares me.

"Judging from your eyes, I'd say it's a yes from you. See," she points to the corner of my eyes, "You're relaxed, and the blue's just a bit brighter."

It will always remain a mystery to me, how she can read me like an open book and do it so accurately.

"Babushka was the one who taught me." She can apparently read minds too. "She says she's clairvoyant. She always knows what you're thinking."

"Clairvoyance isn't a real ability."

"It is." Her face is lit up and she has that soft glaze in her eyes. "Since I was a kid she would tell me cool stories about her abilities. Babushka is pure magic. And Dadushka loves her for it."

"I doubt it." I work up the nerve and tuck that curl aside, quickly stomping further away from her. "Now, hurry up. I wanna go home already."

I clutch the strap of my duffel bag tighter, overwhelmed with the urge to put that Swiss Army Knife to use.

My breathing takes on a more ragged pace and I feel heat rush to all parts of my body. I wonder what sensations I might get from running the sharpened edge along her tender caramel skin. It would tear so easily.

"Monty, are you okay? You look stressed."

"No." Contradictory to my blush, I lie with ease. It's second nature to do so.

"You're lying and I know it. Come on, we'll get you home first. My dad can wait."

"I'm fine, Darcy."

"No, you aren't–"

"Just shut up for a minute and let me fucking think!"

The empty street feels emptier when I realize that I raised my voice at her. The wind ruffles her curls and her sundress. She let her gaze shift to the asphalt, her sandals, back up at me, then down to the road. "I'm sorry."

When she looks up, I stare right into her eyes, determined not to crack first. She contorts her lips into an awkward, toothy smile, but her cheeks are not so compromising.

And when I finally avert my gaze, her smile falls lifeless. I let my expression return to its cold gawk.

"I still want to learn Russian," I mutter.

That brings a radiant smile back to her face. "Not to worry, Monty. I'll teach you everything you need to know."

I have a feeling there's a lot to learn.

◣━━━━━━━━━━━◢

Thank you for reading this chapter of Shoot!

Let me know your thoughts. Share and reblog!

[criesinmultifandommess]

A Little Not Sane

You weren't the most mentally stable person around. But then again, neither were they. (Yandere DSMP x Reader)

Warnings: abuse, manipulation, suicidal threats, more in-depth warnings under the cut

Notes: this is their DSMP characters, not the actual people, the CCs are very lovely and I promise I'm doing alright, I'm just experimenting in my writing to see how far I can push my boundaries. Also, take heed of the warnings, I don't want to trigger anyone accidentally

Full warnings: manipulation, mentions of suicidal attempts, death threats, depression, drug abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, a lot of abuse, gaslighting

Sam

"Shh, it's okay, this is for your own good."

will put you through "training" so you don't get hurt easily

uses potions a lot and forces you to take them too

if you think regular c!Sam is bad, you aren't prepared for warden c!Sam

warden c!Sam will, I repeat, will not hesitate to hurt you and won't be kind to you afterwards, especially if you accidentally word something or do something like Dream

threatens to lock you up or kill you if you say or do it again

Bad

"Please stay with me, I promise I'll be better."

on the surface he seems like a good person

but he will lash out when he feels like you don't love him anymore

apologizes and promises to not to get angry again, but he will

very double standard

gets angry if he finds you with your friends and demands you not to see them, but won't take your opinion into consideration

wants you to join the Eggpire; has even trapped you in the Egg to turn to his side

even if you don't get corrupted, he'll make you wear corrupted clothes and keeps you under watch at all times

Dream

"You're lucky I love you since no one else will."

makes you believe only he loves you

sometimes hits you when you don't listen

cuts you off from your friends and family so you rely on him only

gives you whatever you want if you ask nicely

may or may not mix in weakening drugs in your food so you can't escape him, who knows

Foolish

"You wouldn't leave me, would you?"

gives you whatever you want, so why would you leave

sure, he doesn't let you go anywhere without him

but that just means he's a little overprotective, it's fine

likes covering you in gold/emeralds

trying to find ways to turn you immortal so you can be with him forever, but hasn't found one yet

Fundy

"Everyone else leaves me, I guess it was only a matter of time before you did too."

guilts you into staying with him

purposely puts himself through harmful situations so you worry about him and care for him

very afraid of you leaving him but won't show it

tends to make jokes about breaking up and laughs it off when you ask him about it

Niki

"Where are you going? Can I come too?"

clingy to the point of suffocating

wants to go wherever you go

if you don't let her, she gets sad and agrees

but what you don't know is that she's following you

just to make sure you aren't cheating on her, you know

says her food is made with love, but last time you ate something she made, you felt incredibly tired and slept the rest of the day; it's fine tho, Niki said you were just worn out from work, she took care of you while you were asleep

Sapnap

"I'll burn down this entire place if you leave me."

what did you expect other than arson?

he wouldn't think twice about torching what you love

gets insanely jealous when he sees you talking to other people

tells you not to talk to anyone else but him

follows you around saying he's protecting you, but in reality he's giving anyone who even comes near you a death stare and planning to burn their house down later

Skeppy

"I won't hurt you again, I swear."

empty promises

when you don't want him to do something, he mocks you and does it anyway, but when he doesn't want you to do something, he'll make sure you don't do it

plays pranks on you that are harmful or just plain rude

breaking up prank, suicide prank, death pranks in general, etc.

he says it's all in fun though, don't be a buzzkill babe

Wilbur

"Leave me and I'll kill myself."

sort of inspired by the dude in cc!Wilbur's E-Girl series

He would be more subtle at first during his president phase; a joke here and there that's a little too dark,

Eventually, he'd show his more possessive traits

When he gets banished, the fear of you leaving him grows; leads to him latching on to you and not letting you out of his vision

He believes he's the only one that is allowed to love you

Revivedbur is a totally different beast because he feels like Wil before he got corrupted but it isn't him as well

Could not think of anything for a few of them (and some have said they don't like shipping) so sorry, maybe a part 2 when I get ideas

[electricbluebutterflies]

Chris/Melissa + “it’s okay. i promise you, i will be here when you wake up.”

Or, in which a bat (the kind with wings) gets lost. Post-s6 domestic fluff, PG-ish, also on ao3.

The weird noises have started again.

A few years ago this wouldn’t have been a problem. A few years ago, when Melissa still innocently believed that human beings were at the top of the food chain and when she did not live alone, she would’ve ignored whatever the hell it is until something actually broke. She is under no such delusions now, and she’s the only person in the house most nights, and…

It is slightly past one in the morning, and the baseball bat next to her nightstand doesn’t feel like enough protection, nor does the taser in her purse. Screw this.

At least she has viable options now on these strange nights. She is not alone in the grand scheme of things, and it is easy enough to justify herself as she gives up on falling asleep anyways and instead reaches for her phone. None of this is inappropriate, she reminds herself, none of this is even new, none of this is-

Chris picks up on the second ring, and that worries her a little but that worry can get compartmentalized for sometime later.

“Mel-“

“Something in my attic is making weird noises,” she says before this can turn into some kind of panic spiral. Not that she’d ever know if it did, that man is frightfully stoic, but-

“What kind of weird noises?” he asks, sounding just a little calmer.

“Weird. Similar to the time we had a raccoon problem, but not definitely a raccoon problem, and loud enough that it’s either deal with the damn things now or I’m sleeping on the couch where I can’t hear it. Can you… can you come over and help?”

It’s a strange request in the middle of the night directed at someone she’s very casually involved with, she’s well aware, but… at the same time it really isn’t. His desire to be in her life was made apparent well before an emotional or physical component was visibly added, and she knows there’s some guilt involved that she’s probably taking advantage of and she’s decided she doesn’t care. It’s nice to have a partner who isn’t useless in a crisis. She could get used to this, if it lasts. She could-

“I’ll be there in ten. You’re upstairs, yes?”

“Hiding under blankets in my bedroom.”

“Stay put and call me if anything changes.”

She can follow instructions well enough, and the next ten minutes or so pass with a little less anxiety. Probably raccoons, she repeats to herself. They had a problem with those a few years ago, and maybe it was bad form to ask the boys to handle it then but they were already getting bigger than her and all she did was give them an air horn and a tennis racket, and nobody got hurt, and-

She hears the correct pattern of noises downstairs, a key in the lock – she will never ask which of her surrogate children enabled that habit last year – and the right sort of footsteps coming her general direction, and now a different fear asserts itself.

To say that the relationship has moved slowly would be a drastic understatement. There is mutually understood intent, yes, but neither is inclined to rush into anything. For intents and purposes, they are friends who occasionally kiss each other goodbye, not anything close to lovers, not…

Point being, this will be the first time Melissa lets her new partner into her bedroom, and until twenty minutes ago she’d always thought that would happen under slightly more romantic circumstances. As it is she’s clearly not dressed or mentally prepared to turn this into a seduction, but-

A knock on her door is enough to at least get her moving. “Coming!” Oh, she doesn’t expect anyone else will ever see her space, she’s not sure she’s put away laundry within the past month, she’s not-

“Can I come in?”

“I didn’t know you knew those words,” she laughs, and this is why she likes him, how comfortable he makes her despite the occasional boundary issues. “Yeah, it’s… probably raccoons. Probably either eating the insulation or making baby raccoons. Or multitasking. I’m not sure-“

“I saw what looks like attic access in the hallway?”

“Yeah. Good luck. We haven’t opened it since last time this happened.”

“Understandable.”

She follows him back into the hallway, turning on lights as they move, trying to make this all as normal as possible even though somehow none of it is normal. She is not weak – she is constantly reminded that the softness of her humanity is not weakness – and she has not felt helpless as much as usual lately, and this is such a mundane bullshit problem compared to most of her life, and-

“I’m going to stay down here,” she says as she watches him unfold the ladder. “If that’s okay?”

He takes a step closer and kisses her forehead as an answer. “Whatever you want.”

For what feels like a few minutes but may be more or less than that, Melissa paces the hallway, listening for anything unusual and hearing nothing stranger than a muffled swear word or two. Then familiar movements again, familiar body coming down the ladder, familiar-

“Not raccoons, just a directionally-challenged bat.”

“Are you sure?”

“Chased it out with a tennis racket and checked for anything else. Might’ve been raccoons up there recently, but not at the moment.”

Melissa gives him what she hopes comes across as an unconvinced look. “Those noises were not a goddamned bat. I’m not sure…”

“Do you want me to stay? Just in case?”

He’s offered that before, and she’s accepted enough times that a decent pile of blankets has accumulated on the couch downstairs because he refuses to be any more of a nuisance than he has to or something, but it’s always been when there’s some more supernatural threat on the horizon, not a mundane pest infestation. The energy of this offer feels different than usual, and if she were a different woman she’d turn it into something more, if she were more assertive she’d at least insist he keep her warm, but she isn’t, she isn’t-

“If you want to? If that’s not a problem for you?”

“Not at all. It’s okay. I promise you, I will be here when you wake up.”

She leans in for a kiss and they’re good at this part, softness before separation, even if the retreat is only down a flight of stairs. “Thank you,” she breathes against his mouth. “For everything.”

“This is what I want us to be,” he replies, shifting their position to hold her. “This is what I can give you. Maybe not all you deserve, but…”

“You chased a bat out of my attic without any complaining,” she reminds him. “More than anyone else I’ve been with has ever done for me.”

He gives her a look like he would love to discuss her low standards at some point when they’re both capable of a coherent conversation and then gives her one more kiss before backing away. “Try to sleep. If the noises start again…”

“I just have to yell,” she finishes. “I know.”

[deke-rivers-1957]

The Greatest Hero in the Empire Part 8

I can vaguely feel the empress rubbing my forehead. It's like she's touching my brain. Her touch feels so nice I start to feel warm and tingly again. In fact it feels so good I-I-I.

I wake up and feel so dizzy and tired yet really good at the same time. I can't even open my eyes all the way I'm so tired. I can barely make out the empress with my cloudy vision and give her a dopey smile. I completely forgot myself.

"Feelin. So. Good."

I can see her smile at me which helps me feel a little better. I won't be punished right now for talking out of turn. I'm so dazed I slump back onto her bed. Entertaining her took a lot out of me.

"Good. You're a good plaything."

My eyes close on their own. Hearing the empress say I did a good job helps my recovery. I'm starting to feel my strength come back. I realize that I'm able to see again. The empress must've took the blindfold off while I was sleeping.

I open my eyes again and it's easier to see now. The empress is getting closer and I have no idea what she's going to do to me. Her soft fingers brush my neck making it very hard to pull myself together.

She's removing my collar and I feel a little scared. Does that mean she doesn't want me anymore. Is this when I'm finally going to get punished for being completely out of line?

"You're dismissed to eat."

I'm shocked. That's just the worst thing she could say. Does she know that I'm completely scared to death about what's going to happen to me? I'm just a slave and could die just by being around the empress. Yeah I'm honored she allowed me to eat but after everything we did that's how it ends?

I'm in no position to argue though. I can't let the empress know I'm upset. I get out of bed and bow to her before leaving the room. I'm trying so hard not to cry because I just don't know what any of this means.

She called me a good plaything then tells me I'm dismissed immediately after. Why? If I'm doing something wrong I'd much rather have her punish me. Or is this my punishment? Is the empress being so confusing on purpose because she wants me to get upset? I don't know and I hope things are better than I think they are.

The guards seem to be nicer to me at least. They don't even bother to grab me when they walk me back to the slave quarters. Maybe they know I'm never going to fight back so they figure that there's no point. Or maybe they know I'm too emotional right now to fight.

Maybe I'll feel better if one of the guards just push me around. At least that would be what I'm used to and I can at least say I deserve it. I'm so completely out of line as a slave that I'm lucky they don't kill me on the spot. But to not be punished at all I just don't see why. The guilt's eating me up and I just want it to stop.