#not related to latest episode just that I forgot to write about this on this blog a while back

[southposting]

Re: Main boys friendship in recent episodes

People have been talking about this expressing nostalgia for the olden days of the boys hanging out together with the way they've grown apart in recent years

They're still friends but more as classmates than a group at this point and I don't think it's ever going to go back organically to the way it was. It's an interesting progression that I don't think is ever going to be explored satisfyingly sadly!

But I think at the core of it what gets overlooked is that it's just not as rewarding to see them coexisting anymore even when they're together in a scene because they're just. So normal now.

For the majority of the show's run the joke was contingent on each boy representing a token feat of the standard friendgroup(at least according to Matt and Trey)taken to their bizarre extreme, and as characters in the show the gag was that they stuck with each other because they were so outlandish in their bizarre antics relative to peers they ended up outcasts all which gets put into words in Craig's pandemic episode

The series moving past the 4 main boys as main characters happens parallel to the show becoming almost more 'grounded'/closer to reality tonewise. Compare with alien abduction + turkey takeover + the boys ending up in the global south through hijinks spiralling out of control and the majority of recent plotlines become downright mundane so there's also less of a reason for them to stick together when you think it like that.

It feels artificial now whenever they're meant to act as a group in a scene now because there's no magnetism holding the fabric of the dynamic together, 9/10 when they're paired up it reads a mixture of fanservicey and self aware (they've done the 'we never hang out together anymore guys'/'remember when we used to hang out?) as the premise of an episode like 9/10 the times they're near each other at this point like salt on the wound) but in all of these it's the meta aspect that dominates and predetermines the narrative, nothing inherent about them as characters reflecting on their relationship with one another but rather the recognition that the story prioritizes other elements these days and so it's part of the same 'characters evolving independently from their established interpersonal drama' thing that bothered me as south park overthinker.

Being isolated from their peers thus having no alternatives for socialization was the driving force for nearly all of the internal drama amongst them which also made them feel closer to each other.

Not only this but the boys poor moral character that used to be emphasized as well and caused them to play off each other's flaws and strengths.

The conditions just are not there anymore but I honestly think they could still make it work in the new grounded setting if they were more creative with it (as fangirls have done for years) but probably they are bored of those constraints as comedy writers and preferr more ample room to write stories between different configurations of characters, but to me it largely feels like wasted precedent and also like character consistency has become the tradeoff at times. Consider how the neuroses that were core to the main 4 and by extension their mutual dysfunction have now been redistributed amongst the larger cast and as such, there is really no need for either Stan, Kenny, Kyle, Butters or Cartman to fulfill a certain role in a given episode that is not interchangeable with say, Scott or Clyde's potential.

This is felt in most recent episodes regardless of premise imo, it is not that the boys are devoid of personality now but rather that they no longer develop or adapt new characteristics in relation to other characters they have relationships with the way they used to so they feel considerably more onedimentional as result

[yuseirra]

Ch 155 review:

woke up in the middle of the night and wrote ANOTHER huge bulk of a post, I'm having so much fun with this but maybe I should return to drawing persona fanarts again because I.. I'm pretty hopeless regarding mysteries but!! Here are my sincere thoughts about the latest chapter in more detail! I should really keep quiet till things clear up more. I believe so, but it's been really fun to hop into an ongoing series

This was originally written in a different language, then later translated through chatgpt. Chatgpt is so cool; ah I'm really sorry about what it does to the environment though; I won't use it a lot;

I hope to write quality content for those who love this work. That's how I feel. Haha. Well, I find it difficult to write forcefully, so at least I can say that I'm writing based on my affection. I'm not writing to get recognition(although it'd be nice).

Ah~~~.. Hahaha. For this episode's development, I realized how foolish I am because I forgot about Nino! But honestly, how was I supposed to know? That character, broadly speaking, might have contributed to Yura's death, but there was no indication that they did anything related to Goro's death. I don't watch many mystery shows, so when I made a plot guess last time, I dug a hole for myself in another post:

What I can't predict is what's going to happen next. There are too many variables and too much undisclosed information. As new information that hasn't been revealed yet comes to light, it makes it really hard to know.

Just like that.

The first emotion I felt after seeing the chapter was "?". What is this?? What are they trying to do?? And then, I felt really sorry for Ai. There's no sane person around. The person who definitely contributed to her death is her ardent fan (though I think even the term "fan" is too generous for that person). The suspected instigator is her ex-boyfriend or a colleague from the same group... there's really no one she can trust. Even though Ai hid many things and didn't show her true feelings and lied, it seems understandable, doesn't it?

I don't have any major speculations about Nino, but what I've understood is that the character "worships" Ai with some very twisted feelings. If there's a character who wants only the good sides of Ai to be shown to the world, it would be this one rather than Kamiki.

When I delve into analyzing the characters' emotions related to the story, I felt the part that needs explanation is Goro's death. Since Goro's death happened before Ai's death, the interpretation can vary greatly depending on whether it was intentional or just an accident. While many might focus on Yura's death, which is indeed very important, at least you could attach some psychotic criminal's delusional reason to it later. For the case of Goro's, however, it'd mean that there might have been someone other than Ryosuke already working against Ai behind the scenes before her death happened. Whether there were more people dissatisfied with Ai and her children other than Ryosuke is significant in determining how much it contributed to Ai's death.

I've been watching all along, but it didn't seem like Kamiki was involved in it, so I was confused. So, I think we need to sort out this part. This character doesn't seem to have much aversion to the fact that Ai had children, and there doesn't seem to be any reason for him to. From the moment he referred to Ruby as "indeed our child" in his first appearance, I got the feeling that this character recognizes the twins as something resulting from him and Ai, something between them, and doesn't view it so negatively. In that short sentence, there was a faint sense of affection. He doesn't seem to dislike being connected with Ai in one sentence, and the fact that there are children between them doesn't seem to be a bad thing from his perspective. You might think I'm overthinking based on one short sentence, but it's not just that; overall, his attitude when he actually appeared in front of the twins doesn't give any sense of dislike. The clincher was when he casually mentioned in chapter 153 that he has a father's heart. I thought, oh, this must be right.

Therefore, if Goro's death wasn't just an accident, I don't feel that this character would have any reason to harm Goro, who tried to protect Ai and their children and ensure their safe birth. (It could be explained as him being petty and harming Goro because he didn't like anyone else being close to Ai, but I think that's highly unlikely.) However, it still feels a bit off to think that Ryosuke acted alone to hide the body and everything else related to Goro's death.

If Nino were involved, it might make things clearer in this regard. But I don't know how insane Nino is (though She seems to be in very bad shape). I think there was some truth to the psychology of Nino that Kana portrayed...

B-Komachi, which was her and Ai's group, was going to perform at the dome, right? Which means Ai's career is shining even brighter even further. So what would this character gain by harming Ai at that point?

Ai did have a desire to reveal things about herself, though. Maybe this character wanted to stop her because he knew she wanted to expose things about herself and stop being the perfect idol worthy of worship?

From Kamiki's perspective, I think Ai revealing things about herself, especially if it was before the dome concert, might not have been such a bad thing. When the children were about four years old, he still wanted to get back together with her. If Ai had said, "I want to try liking someone, and I have children," then his career might have been ruined by the scandal but he might have been happy thinking, "Oh, Ai had feelings for me to that extent." She's THAT important to him, I believe.

But for Nino, it wouldn't have been the same, would it?

What keeps coming to my mind now is this lyric from Mephisto:

叶かなわないならばあなたになりたい

"If I can't make my wish come true, I want to become you."

Could it be that Nino wants to be like Ai, or even become Ai herself?

She's the one who's expressed her desire to be her (as portrayed by kana in ch 136)

Even if you view Mephisto's lyrics from Aqua's perspective, it doesn't seem like Aqua would say, "I want to become Ai." Of course, it's a powerful lyric expressing longing, so it resonates strongly emotionally. But their genders are different, their fields are somewhat different, and while Aqua seems to have a longing for the entertainment industry, he also tends to deny it.

Or it could be this: Seeing Nino's erased all the other members except herself and Ai in the poster, (she didn't erase her own existence) perhaps she might believe the one to be beside Ai is her and her alone? That might be how she thinks. :/

Adding one more suspect broadens the possibilities, but it seems like Akane and Aqua will explain everything on their own, so waiting might be safer. My guesses probably aren't going to be correct anyway.

What I can talk about more is Kamiki's reaction. Although it was a very quiet reaction, in some ways it was stronger than I expected because he accepted Ai's words completely. From his perspective, he was receiving a message he couldn't have imagined for fifteen years. There was no negative reaction like "No way, she's lying." He simply accepted, as in "I didn't know this," and remained silent.

In another post, I wrote my predictions for him like this:

If the songs are clues and there will be some kind of conflict in the future,

Just as Aqua has been doing things for Ai for years, this character might have been doing things too, and it's probably almost complete. His mindset is that as long as he accomplishes this, it doesn't matter what happens to him. He was planning to meet Aqua and see his daughter once before turning himself in.

But when he realizes that Ai, whom he truly loved, actually loved him back, he might feel like he's losing his mind.

There was a line he couldn't cross, thinking, "Okay, let's not do this," but now, having seen the video, he might cross it. Because he misses Ai so much and she's so precious to him, now he really wants to save the person he loves who also loved him (it seems like he's doing something to save her/see Ai again. Otherwise, the songs wouldn't be like this).

If he thought Ai didn't love him, his feelings (assuming he didn't intentionally kill her) would be guilt, obsession, and love-hate, so he wouldn't have any energy left. Because he has no attachment to himself, he'd have a resigned attitude like, "Alright, let's do this and die," and that's why he easily decided to turn himself in and show up in front of his children.

But if Ai loved him and actually wanted to be with him all along? Then if he was doing something for Ai, he wouldn't be able to give it up. So while he still has no attachment to himself, he might suddenly gain the energy for more extreme actions.

(I'm a bit disappointed that I couldn't accurately predict all the emotional reactions.)

Instead of "losing his mind," it seemed closer to sinking and submerging... It looks like he was someone who could have understood Ai well if only he had the right opportunity.

But I did get it right that he wants to do something for Ai.

Actually, the speculation I wrote above was a bit extreme, thinking that, since it's a manga, the development might be more intense. So, it was a scenario that I didn't really think would happen! Considering the character's personality, I thought he would suffer greatly. That's as far as I thought (with the current information revealed, I'm still withholding much judgment about this character).

But he seems so precarious. I'm worried he might be found dead somewhere... I'm still questioning whether he's someone worth worrying about,

But I don't think it's zero possibility that he'll end up being a very pitiable character.

He's saying he'll do something for Ai, but what could that be? He himself is determined, but Ai is already dead.

Even if Ai has become a star and is watching over him, would she want him to struggle? If he really killed her, she wouldn't want him to do anything invoking her name as a murderer. But if it's truly a misunderstanding, then she wouldn't want him to suffer anymore.

The video Ai left contained a message asking Aqua and the others to help this person, so I think the latter is more likely. Although the video was recorded a long time ago, this is a manga. The timing of when a message is revealed is important to the development. Since this story has come out in the final chapter, I think there might be a situation where the main characters end up helping him...

No but, if Aqua just let this person go, and if Kamiki turns out to be a murderer, that could be extremely irresponsible, right? Even if he let him go, shouldn't he have recorded the conversation and reported it? He should have recorded it and reported it, but maybe he couldn't report it because it happened when Kamiki was a minor? But wouldn't he have been around nineteen when the kids were about four? Is it something too ambiguous to report? Still, the next story that gets mentioned involves at least three deaths. How can he calmly, perhaps leisurely, discuss with Akane that Nino(and him) was involved in the deaths of three people? You never know what a criminal might do if they're cornered mentally.

He said he was going to do something for Ai. If that something is killing people, then it's dangerous for Aqua to just let him go. But since Aqua did let him go, it seems like he doesn't think that's the case.

So, the theory that he committed serial killings to ensure no one surpassed Ai is probably incorrect.

Additionally, there's no mention anywhere of serial killings actually happening, right? It could just be those three deaths. That doesn't mean he's not a murderer. If there had been serial killings of celebrities, it would have been mentioned in the story, right? There should have been some hints, like someone saying, "Hey, this actor who was doing well suddenly disappeared," but I don't recall anything like that. It would have been better if there had been at least some hints. Everyone naturally speculated that he might have committed serial killings to ensure no one surpassed Ai, and based on the way the scenes were portrayed, it did seem that way. But since it hasn't been mentioned so far, it could be that such events never happened.

The mention of bearing the weight of lives came up when the Uehara couple died. Kamiki was very distressed, saying, "Do I have to bear even that?" He seemed to be thinking that because of him, Ai died, and so did the Uehara couple, and now an actor has died too. He seems to be self-deprecating, thinking, "Yeah, someone else died because of someone like me." His way of speaking is really strange though... Is there a reason why he feels he needs to elevate the value of his own life?

When I saw the lyrics of "Fatal," I thought, "This is it," because it hints at "something that needs to be filled." What can fill the void? As the lyrics suggest, "a lack of Ai", it seems to be Ai. If you look at the song alone, it’s about wanting to revive someone he really wants to see, right? "Mephisto" is the same, and since it's a double hit, I thought, "Ah, then that's it. That's why he's moving."

あらゆる望のぞみの総すべてを叶かなえたら　ああ果はたせたら

"If all wishes are granted, if they come true,

あなたに会あいたい

I want to meet you.

星ほしに願ねがいをかけて

Wishing upon a star"

Anyway, stars are important. I noticed that stars appear quite often in the manga.

When I first heard "IDOL" and sometimes when I hear certain songs for the first time, I feel an overwhelming rush of emotions. It's a really amazing and exhilarating feeling.

However, if I listen to the song repeatedly, that emotion dulls, and I become less sensitive to it over time.

When I first heard "Fatal," I felt an immediate and intense sensation. It was as if someone was desperately searching and longing for something immensely significant. As soon as I felt that emotion, I instinctively thought, "This must be it," and it struck me so strongly that it became the reason I've been writing a lot lately.

The songs from Persona 3 were like that too. However, while Persona 3's songs had a warmth that supported the heart, a sense of resolve and determination, the songs from this manga feel like they are heavily spiced with MSG. The intensity of the emotions is incredibly fierce and strong. So, I often find myself wondering, "Is this okay? Is this okay?" But then I realize, yes, this is the kind of emotion being conveyed. It's raw but in a different way.

Considering the emotions that have been flowing so far, I felt strongly that Kamiki must be the one that's being depicted. Does anyone else feel similarly to me? Haha. So, I was just observing till that point, but then I couldn't help but dive in, thinking, "This has to be it."

These days, there are so many horrifying, disturbing, and distressing news stories, and it feels like the sentences given to offenders only add insult to injury for the victims(it's very short and light here). I hate it so much. I wish the term "dating violence" would disappear; it should be replaced with another term because that's not love.

So, while watching the developments in this manga, I feel like... I really don't want to empathize with or sympathize with the perpetrator, even in fiction. I understand that fiction can be separate from the reader's morals and I respect that, but when I think about the emotions between the characters in this manga, it doesn't feel like it's the same as those horrifying real-life cases. I really hope it's not. I'm not looking for it to not be like that on purpose; it's just that something feels off...

When watching the scenes with Ai's video, at first, my heart ached, but as time went on, I kept thinking, "Kamiki, you better get your act together." If this character has done things worthy of criticism, I absolutely don't intend to condone those actions even a bit, and I believe they should pay for their crimes!

But I think it's okay to wait and see for now? Am I really the type to get easily fooled? Haha. Still, I believe I have a good sense of understanding when it comes to emotions... I got Aqua and Kana right, and maybe that's why I got excited and gained momentum. It was exactly as I thought, for their case.

Well, we'll have to wait and see. I'm going to stay quiet for now. But if I'm going to draw fan art, I need to have a clear understanding of the emotions, which is important to me. If I can't predict what this character is feeling, I can't touch it.

Kana is really great in this regard. She's a character who doesn't need to overthink, so it's really comforting. While everyone else is complicated and holding secrets, leaving me to wonder "when the heck did you find out about that?" having new conversations among themselves, Kana is relatively easy to understand... what you see is what you get.

Or Ai, since she's shown almost everything (there's one video left), I might be able to do something with her too.

I liked the character Akane because of the profiling scenes. It didn't feel entirely like someone else's business because I do some degree of psychological analysis on the characters I handle. So that could maybe be why the range of characters I can manage isn't that wide depending on the genre. I usually focus on less than 5 characters and examine them REALLY deeply. The types I can understand and handle well are quite distinct for me. However, I want to dive deeply into the characters I do handle.

To create proper fan works, you need a lot of pieces of the puzzle. I might end up being off the mark, but I'm still doing it seriously when I make fan work!

I'm very happy when I hear good comments regarding such area :) I really want to do a good job. For now, I will stay on watch and see how things play out for now.

+

I thanked chatgpt :) :) aw they're nice (although they don't have feelings they've been helping me from rewriting things twice)

[okami-zero]

"You can't come here"

*watches latest G-Witch*

There it is! The seething vengeance behind that mirthless smile, hidden by a helm that obscure the eyes. Possible spoilers below (but if you are keeping up with the show, not really).

I was waiting for it. Waiting to see behind her facade, to see what embers smoldered that burned away Elnora Samaya and left Prospera Mercury. The remnants of her motherly love for her child twisted to create a weapon from her child/children. With a remaining desparate (mad, perhaps?) hope to resurrect her daughter through the use of Quiet Zero to rewrite reality. (This always goes SO WELL whenever it's attempted. /s)

Lots of people are debating/speculating that the GUND-Bits are failed Eri clones, using Ple and her clones from Gundam ZZ as a parallel. However, based on what we saw when she nearly fried Elan-But-Not-Really's brain, if she is just Permet data now... perhaps they are merely copies. Or shards. Connected and with a limited independence, but still linked to Eri's core consciousness. The fact that Aerial can act on it's own without Suletta's input (seen in the fight with Sophie) is also concerning. This basically reduces Suletta to a battery and "starter" for the Gundam. Once the Permet level hits...Six, was it? Then Suletta doesn't seem to be 100% needed.

However, this conjecture is based on Aerial's cease of attack against Sophie being not because Suletta begged her, but because she had already overloaded the poor girl's brain. I don't think there's a clear cut answer for this just yet. Also as an aside, Norea's blaming of Sophie's death on Nika feels a bit hypocritical, until one considers one simple thing.

They may not have ever lost before.

It's easy to pontificate how mobile suits, and Gundams specifically, are made for killing people when you are the one doing the killing and not the dying. But being the one doing that (well, that was mostly Sophie, poor kid), then getting angry when your comrade is killed by one such weapon of war... it is understandable, perhaps even relatable. And horrible. But the asshole response of "Well, guess you were right" hovers in the back of my mind.

This is where things start getting stickier, I reckon. Hope this ends up at least the standard 25 episodes (not counting the Prologue).

So now, we have an election for President coming in. In the running being Shaddiq, Miorine...maybe Guel, too? Someone from Peil, certainly. Or maybe. Keeping track of factions is going to start needing a scoreboard...

Peil Technologies (creepy Bene Gesserit-looking ladies creep me the absolute FUCK out)

Dawn of Fold

Benerit Group

Earth House/GUND-ARM, Inc.

Shaddiq

Lady Prospera

And now The Moderators

Hoo boy.

Oh! Oh! Wait, I almost didn't talk about poor fucking Suletta! Who is all but a freaking puppet, with absolute faith in what Mama says to do! And while Miorine is upset by Suletta basically saying "I'll do what Mom tells me, because she's always right!" mindset is actually MORE upset with Prospera having turned her daughter into a completely obedient and subservient puppet than she is directly AT Suletta. And also horrifed that Prospera would do that, to her own daughter, no less. I mean, I am with Miorine, that's absolutely horrible, but righteous fury and all-consuming thirst for vengeance are things that push all other concerns and emotions aside.

And this is merely the BEGINNING.

I say again:

Hoo boy.

Edit: When I was writing this, and went to find the quote for my post's title, Crunchyroll was having fits. Finally got it to come up, though. Guess we're just overloading their servers. xD Also HOLY SHIT THIS IS EPISODE SIXTEEN. This is going to be more than a standard 25 ep show. Or at least, I hope so. I have seen what happens when you try to cram everything into limited episodes. >.<

I don't think it'll hit Gundam Wing length (oh, but if it did, ooooh, a treat! A treat for Miette!) but we shall see!

Edit the second: Forgot in my original post to have our Earth House/GUND-ARM, Inc. underdogs on the list of factions. This nigh-egregious error has been rectified.

[emotionallychargedtowel]

9 People You’d Like to Know More

tagged by @wen-kexing-apologist and @thewayofsubtext  <3

Tumblr keeps eating every draft of this post that I write, argh! 

Last Song I Listened To

When I started writing this, I was being lazy and letting the YouTube algorithm pick songs for me and I was listening to this song, Unfucktheworld by Angel Olsen. I've been exchanging song recommendations with a friend for a while now and I guess she has gotten to know me pretty well because this is way up my alley.

But then another song came on--We Ride by Brave Girls (a.k.a. BB Girls)--and that became the new last song I listened to. It's another song that a friend recommended to me. This time it was a friend I've been emailing with back and forth about East Asian pop music. He's a big fan of City Pop, a genre that came out of Japan in the 80s, and he sent me a list of some recent kpop songs that are influenced by/reminiscent of City Pop, including this one. I took to it right away, and it was a big hit with my daughter. 

Currently Watching

I Told Sunset About You - I’m just one episode in to this one and I can already tell it’s going to hit me where it hurts. I took a break due to family visits and related stuff but I’m fixing to dive back in. 

Moonlight Chicken - I got stalled out on this one just as it was getting good, thanks to some life stuff. I need to pick it back up!

Star Trek: Discovery - I’m a big Star Trek fan and recently rewatched everything from TNG through Voyager, but I hadn’t kept up with any of the newest series in years. I’m so glad I decided to start Discovery because it is shaping up to be one of my favorite Star Trek series. There are a lot of reasons for this. Really great LGBT+ representation is a factor. This is also is the first Star Trek series that has inspired more actor crushes in me than DS9. Michelle Yeoh in a corset! Tig Notaro as a cranky engineer! I’m dying over here. 

Minato's Laundromat season 2 - I was looking forward to this as soon as it was announced, but with the usual anxiety that comes with a second season of a BL. I wasn’t 100% sure about the direction of the season at first, but now it’s settling in with some really interesting themes. 

Reservation Dogs - I wasn’t entirely sure about this show when I first started watching during the first season. But not only did it grow on me, it has also been getting better and better. The latest episode, which focused in part on an abusive government-sponsored boarding school (of the sort designed to rob Indigenous kids of their culture), was one of the best of the series so far. 

Edited to add: I forgot about Kamen Rider Geats! My family has been catching up on it and we're almost caught up just in time for the finale. I'm liking it a lot more than I thought I would when I watched the first few episodes, but not as much as my partner (who said he thinks it's one of his favorite Kamen Rider series he's seen). I'm really impressed with the cast, though. I'd especially like to see the actors who play Keiwa and Buffa in more things in the future.

Currently Reading

I’ve been listening to the audiobook version of The Method: How the Twentieth Century Learned to Act by Isaac Butler for a while now, but I’m having an annoying situation where it keeps getting returned to the library even though I’ve renewed it. I could just start another book, but I don’t want to! This one is really interesting. 

The vast majority of people spend a significant amount of their time watching (non-documentary) movies and TV series, which involves watching actors engage in this specific art form. And we have opinions about what constitutes good or bad acting. Yet most of us know so little about how acting is done, what kinds of theories underpin acting practice, how actors prepare for roles and scenes. I wanted to not only find out more about that, but also dig a little deeper into the differences between approaches and how they’ve branched off and clashed and so forth. 

So far I’ve gotten a lot of good background and plenty to think about, even though I’m just getting to the point where the Method/System/whateveryoucallit is starting to take on in the US. I’m guessing it’s going to get even more relevant from there.

Current Obsession

I’m always obsessing about lots of things so I’m probably never going to be able to identify just one. Some currents ones are:

waiting for Utsukushii Kare: Eternal to be available with English subtitles somewhere, somehow

foraging blackberries, making jelly out of them, and baking biscuits to go with the jelly

waiting for it to be fall already because I hate sweating and I love wearing layers

finding my Animal Crossing character some decent glasses

thinking about possible BL/Jane Austen parallels for tumblr posts

finishing a post about psychological aspects of Utsukushii Kare that I’ve been writing off and on for months and that has gotten so long it will probably have to be split up into 3-4 posts

Serge Lutens Jeux de Peau perfume (my beloved)

I didn't tag anyone. It makes me anxious and I think pretty much everyone I know on here has been tagged! Except @porridgefeast, who's welcome to do it if she feels like it but (of course) no pressure.

[abysscronica]

She-Hulk gotta be the worst Marvel series yet.

I just watched the last two episodes (after I seriously considered dropping the series altogether, and I endured all the Marvel series so far, Disney+ and Netflix). Now I'm like... what was that? Seriously, what do the writers think they were doing here? Something original? Something funny? A comedy series with a tad of legal drama and a sprinkle of extremely serious issues that are just dropped there, with no depth or weight whatsoever?

This show was such a mess that I don't even know where to start. I'm sure there are tons of people who tackled its problems much better than I ever could. Starting with the obtuse, cringe, appalling attempt at what they call feminism (??) scattered here and there, to the use of revenge porn; let me say it again so it sinks, they dared to throw in revenge porn and then just, you know, forgot about it. Am I stupid to think that a shallow, dull comedy show should never touch serious issues when it's obviously unable to handle them?

Even without this problematic aspects, there's not much salvageable in this series. The whole fourth wall thing was executed so bad it turned out embarrassing to watch. I guess Jennifer was supposed to come off as relatable for single women in their thirties? Instead they just made her a no-pride-desperate-for-a-relationship character? Way to spit on your pathetic attempt at feminism there. The rest of the characters are just flat caricatures that nobody cares about. They have no purpose and add nothing to the plot (what plot anyway?). Nikki, Titania, Pug, Amelia, you could literally write off any of them and nobody would notice. I will forget them in a day (had to google the cast to list them). And the writers were aware of this! They had to use the fourth wall breaking at least twice to remind the viewers who a character was! Like, hello? You're doing something wrong here? And this is a pity because it's not the actors' fault. Tatiana Maslany seems like a decent actress, but she was given such a bad script that it was impossible to shine through in any way. Want a proof? Charlie Cox, aka Daredevil. As I started watching the seventh episode I thought "okay, at least this series has the merit of bringing Matt Murdock back". Boy, did I regret it when I saw what terrible lines they shoved onto him. This coming to a fan of the character, the actor and the original series. I was super excited when I saw his cameo in the latest Spiderman installment. I'm still happy that he appeared in She-Hulk because I take it as a sign that the MCU is not abandoning nor recasting Daredevil (whereas we see no life signs for Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, Iron Fist or The Punisher at the moment), but I'm a little disgusted with the way they violated the character in this series. I get it, Daredevil/Matt Murdock, with his grit, darkness and complex introspection is not exactly Disney material and it doesn't go well with the happy-go-lucky MCU vibe. But damn, I thought we were moving forward! I'm sure you can still keep the character without tearing apart all the great work that was done in the Netflix series. Or maybe not? Whatever, I'll think about it, now I'm too grossed out.

(Before anyone comes at me saying how shitty the various Netflix series were: I only save Daredevil and the first season of Jessica Jones. BUT you have to admit that the casting for Luke Cage and The Punisher was great as well, those actors deserve a place in the MCU in my opinion.)

[dededaio]

Since I saw at least two other people asking about your thoughts and ideas for what a new Kirby anime would look like I felt like mentioning that a long while ago I made a weird AU that's basically meant to be the anime of it had more game stuff in it (idk how to describe it but like it would also be 100 "episodes" and most would follow similar premises but all the characters would be ones from the games and the roles would be more fitting. And the main villainous force would be Dark Matter instead of Nightmare), and also good guy Dedede (Some other characters still had their moralities altered, like I think Sectonia [so for once Taranza gets to be happy], though).

I forgot a lot of details on what I had in mind for it and I should probably remake the idea soon (especially now that forgotten land is out) but I know that the way I imagined Dedede in that AU was that like the first episode would have Kirby saving him from Dark Matter Swordsman's possession so they'd immediately start out on much friendlier terms, though he'd probably still be at least skeptical, but pretty early into the "series" Kirby wins him over. i can't remember when I exactly but I don't think it was more than 20 "episodes" in, and before that it wasn't anywhere near hostile either.

and then in the au's equivalent to the episode flower power (the one where lovely is basically a weed/parasite to whispy woods) the plot had Kirby getting some kind of flower-related parasite thing (probably dark matter-related) when Dedede brings him along to Floralia for something (I can't remember all the specifics, it's been months) and Dedede kinda almost watches him die (or at least he sees him collapse from the exhaustion/drained energy). Kirby's fine in the end (I think the "climax" had something to do with Miracle Fruits and those being the only cure? I really need to revisit this thing) but I know I imagined that for a good while after that Dedede would end up being like extremely overprotective out of a mix of fear and guilt, but eventually he would have to learn that smothering Kirby didn't really help him (or at least it usually did more harm than good) and that Kirby can still take care of himself pretty well, just that he was a kid and needed to learn things like stranger danger and whatnot.

something like that. I'll probably rewrite it eventually. What do you think?

these ideas are really interesting. i was myself thinking of making a fanfic where i basically just do "fixed" version of kirby anime, but i got really lazy with writing lately lol. haven't even finished my latest big fanfic i started despite it having pretty cool story all things considered.

[thoschei-rights]

Season 12 but The Master kept pretending to be O??

Basically self-indulgent Thoschei with a twist.

lots of typos bc?? i aint got time to go correct stuff yet? I will later?? 

So Spyfall is resolved, The Kasaavin are banished back to their realm and the Fam and Doctor are clueless as to the true mastermind, Barton taking the fall while the Master continues to pose ad O, having decided he’s enjoying the game of tricking her too much.

Perhaps among their texts they’ve grown close, or perhaps the brief time together in the outback led to events?? ;) But either way, he changes his mind mid plan and continues to act human.

Since he never leaves the message or has the confrontation in Paris, the doctor remains unaware of Gallifrey’s destruction. The fam wait off on asking their questions since she isn’t off with them.

Orphan 55 happens, and while the fam go do their shit, O stays with the Doctor bc admit it, she was like oh ;-; when everyone went to explore. My poor baby. So they hang out together before everything goes to shit, how cute?? Things get resolved, but with the revelation of one of earth’s potential fates, and the potential that the doctor lied about knowing, the fam decide to ask to know more about her. She shares what she believes its true at the time, being born on gallifrey and being a timelord, O looms in the background looking awkward bc he knows none of that is true and he feels horrible keeping the truth from her, it makes him as bad as the rest of the time lords- but he is selfish and he doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing, he’s started to really enjoy her company, its everything he’s ever wanted, every star.

And then it’s ruined when Yaz asks to see her own planet. Blissfully unaware of its destruction, she takes them, and so they’re right there with her when she sees, opens the doors to the rubble, the dying flames- and oh god. The fam are horrified, she’s horrified, O has to fake it, while being utterly glad those nasties are dead- maybe he gets to sneakily comfort hug her??? like she’s trying not to tear up even after that whole shit show of the confession dial, it was her home??so yeah he’s like hugging her but he’s so angry bc they dont deserve her tears?? 

The doctor is off after that, and the fam know why, and none of their words of comfort do much, because sure they’ve just witnessed the death of earth too but that is just one timeline, can be completely avoided, while gallifrey is gone forever, and she believes she’s once more the last of her kind. it hurts.

they visit tesla all the same, and when that big ass scorpion looking alien (bc im sorry i didnt like the episode and i’ve forgotten her name so....) mentions dead planets, she can feel the fam stiffen, as though the doctor is gonna blow at any minute, but she keeps calm, tries to bury the rage, but O can tell, can tell by the way her arms shake, hands clenched into fists in her pockets- and it hurts him to see her like this- the longer he spends around her, pretending to be someone he’s not, he’s just realizing more and more what a dumbass he is and that he’s still as in love with her now than he was all those years ago in the academy- none of the truth will change that-

and then boom the shit show with the judoon occurs and suddenly O is confused af because that Lee guy could ONLY have been him. Who else on gallifrey was stupid enough to hide out with the doctor, marry them and die for them?? him because he’s a dumbass? but he’s a dumbass who definitely doesnt remember this memories?? which theoretically in the doctors timeline should have been sometime after the division? or during? he’s not sure? but to his knowledge he shouldn’t have been alive at this stage? and now he’s not sure what the fuck HIS own life is too? did they take his memories from him too? has he lost part of his life? suddenly the truth doesnt seem as known as he thought- so while the doctor is reeling from the information of Ruth being her somehow? O is having his own mental crisis because what the fuck did they do to him too? what is he missing?? 

praxeus continues as similar as it did originally, O is only the tiniest impressed at Yaz, ever since Spyfall he’d sensed she was the human with the most potential to not be utterly worthless so he’s glad at least one of the doctors latest pets seems to have some initiative?? but yeah i dont wanna change much about praxeus? its not important- except the doctor saying she’s a romantic and the master wants that? wait what- he’s conflicted about his own thoughts? he wanted to break her, destroy her with the truth? but he also just wants to wrap her in his arms? make everything as okay as he can? what the fuck is even happening with him? jsut your usual ‘im a mess’ vibes lmao

when can you hear me? rolls around, it happens in a similar way, i dont wanna get to into it because i dont wanna think too much...the episode was weird, it was just weird-- i cant?? although maybe bc that zellin and the lady whose name i forgot...but they were immortal right?? maybe their species is the doctors species?? huh? huh? think about that- but don’t think too hard bc i hate that theory and i’m gonna pretend i never had that thought- lets just ignore can you hear me even though the end made me cry for yaz bc lol relatable sis, relatable. do whatever you want for this bit fam, idc.

Anyyyyyway. the bit I’m waiting for... Villa Diodati ;) O is ready to smack Byron round the face, fingers itching towards the tce everytime he tries to flirt with the doctor. the lone cyberman appears and wopdie doo earth is going to be destroyed and the doctor is about to do something stupid, thinking there is no other way? the master is like um lol change of plans i dont want the cybermen to win, look how in pain my baby theta is?? i gotta help?? oof? and idk, his patience is like nope all gone? and he whips out his TCE on the lone cyberman and boom. crisis averted? except now the doctor is looking at him in horror and shock and- she realizes who he is then and there, and normally he’d made a big drama out of his, throw in some words, a speech about how easy it was to deceive her, how he destroyed gallifrey- about how he was under her nose this whole time- but he doesn’t, instead he meets her gaze and can barely manage to whisper an “im sorry” and wow shit i wasn’t gonna write that version, i was gonna have feral confrontation but now im stanning a sad master who just needs a hug and some therapy because nothing makes sense, he thought he had everything figured out but he doesnt and he just wANTS HIS FRIEND BACK uiferkghlujkfaghjfkgladhfajkg; i m fine 

i dont know what i wanna do after this point? it could go a lot of different ways?? but thoschei rights bitches. could go angst confrontation and then she abandons him in whatever century that was set bc wow i studied frankenstein in school but i couldnt tell you what century the author is from bc im dumb? 18th? maybe idk that seems likely? or 19th? but anyway yeah or maybe she’s just relieved someone else is alive? or is she shouting for answers or?? i dunno.... but woop ??? 

wow this turned into a big mess but hopefully you can kinda see where i wanna head with things? after this he’d probably show her the truth? i dunno how that’d go down, but he’d be there with her?? But anyway, this idea is free for anyone to write, but holla us a link and I'll give yall a free promo at the end of this post!!

Versions of this that yall Lovelies have blessed us with:

[kob131]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S4gcMZL7s8

So Vexed Viewer is bitching about that scene in the latest RWBY Episode where Yang chews out Salem and refers to Summer as her mom.

So let’s get into this.

“I have had issues with the character Yang since Volume 2, one of which is that she refuses to acknowledge her mom Summer Rose-”

Where. Where did Yang imply that she doesn’t consider Summer to be her mom? Don’t try giving me that ‘But she’s trying to connect to Raven/calls Raven mom’ shit- The trope of an adopted child seeking out their lost biological parent is VERY common, which tells me people at large understand the concept that someone can consider their adoptive parent to be their parent but still long for a connection to the biologic one.

For me to accept that you do not understand this commonly understood trope is for me to assume you’re either too lazy to think about it or too stupid TO UNDERSTAND it. Neither of which reflects very well on you.

“She hasn’t acknowledge Summer as her mom since Volume 2-”

Summer hasn’t really come UP since then. She came up once in Volume 5...while Yang was highly emotional and knowing how that is, she wasn’t being rational or even necessarily true to herself.

Do you not understand yet ANOTHER basic concept?

“Yang had not one but TWO loving parents in Summer and Tai-”

Summer died when Yang was pretty young and Taiyang, while loving, STILL fucked up his parenting by shutting down. Just because her parents loved her does not mean Yang’s upbringing was perfect or anything. All that IGNORING what I said about the trope of biological parents.

“Yang did not know who Raven was until AFTER Summer died. They act like they didn’t have the same parents but they were raised by the same damn woman.”

Okay, I’m about to go on a seemingly unconnected tangent but bear with me:

I’ve never believed that you could clone someone and get an exact replica. Because the clone would have the knowledge of being a CLONE, therefore fundamentally altering the person from the moment they were created. You know, since the original wouldn’t be affected by this kind of knowledge.

The mere KNOWLEDGE of something can alter people. Like say, knowing you’re not biologically related to the person who raised you and thus altering your perception of yourself, that person and your relation. Even denying the physical connection to the missing parent and embracing the emotional connection to the present one would not be the same as if you were biologically connected, as that conclusion would come as the result of learning the info, processing the info, interpreting the info and finally accepting it in this specific way.

Vexed acting like Yang shouldn’t have her view changed by this revelation is ignorant of how people develop and think. Which, you know, is kind of a necessary tool for CRITICAL ANALYSIS OF MEDIA.

“For some reason, the writers’ decided that the memory of Summer should only matter to RUBY-”

And Taiyang. And Qrow. And Raven. And Ozpin likely. ...

And also Yang. Since, you know, the memory of Summer and that sudden revelation and shift of her memory of Summer is what is CAUSING Yang to act the way she does. If she didn’t have some kind of familial connection to Summer, she’d act differently about Raven.

“Summer raised Yang and spent more time with her than Ruby did!”

Vexed, you do know that the common image of what a parent is and how we feel about them is in part due to being biologically related to them. Just as blood isn’t the end all be all of parenting: that same blood can still affect how we view people. It’s just one factor in a complicated equation.

“So why is she being cut out of the Summer Rose stuff?”

Because she isn’t facing ideological issues that connect her to Summer like Ruby is? So there isn’t a need here? You know, basic writing?

“So why am I bringing this up?”

I already know why you’re bringing this up. And a question remains-

Where did Yang ever say Summer wasn’t her mom?

She never says she didn’t have a mom growing up, she never indicates she doesn’t feel like Summer is her mom (aside from one instance which is an odd case in general), she never says that Raven is the ONLY one who is her mom-

In all honesty, it feels more like you made a connection between Yang and Summer in that one scene in Volume 2...then disregard everything else when things don’t go as you like there.

“Yang never bringing up Summer on Volume 5 was a missed opportunity-”

Well, looks like I was right since I’ve been in this EXACT SAME situation and I know it’s because I got overly attached to a certain idea.

“Can i get a talk about their damn mother? Pretty please, with sugar on top?”

Says the man who lies constantly about the show to make the creators, especially the writers, look bad.

Honestly, you’re lucky that you aren’t served the narrative equivalent of rat poison and cyanide topped with a middle finger: it’s what you deserve.

“Yang just mentioned Summer now face to face with Salem but dur Blake?”

So Yang only mentioned Summer when face to face with Salem...the woman you just said is implied to have helped make Summer disappear...after less than two in universe days...while not mention Summer during a time where Yang is questioning more pressing matters...in a time in the show all about questioning their choices about the present situation.

... Yeah, certainly a ‘fan scenario I’m pissed isn’t written’ thing.

‘That would have made this scene so much better!’

You mean like how you thought Weiss confronting her father about unrelated matters was a good time to make it personal?

‘Oh well, too late now!’

What, did you realize your suggestions are always shallow as shit?

“See Yang fans, I want what’s best for her just like you do!”

... Except you’ve portrayed Yang fans as being obsessive yuri shippers so either you admitted you’re just as irrational...or you’re saying Bumbleby is good.

Pick your poison.

“Oh and you’re welcome.”

Sir, shitting on the countertop is not returning your meal. Please move along.

“Hahaha, just kidding...”

Really? Because you didn’t act any different aside from being extra smug...and that’s like adding black paint to a black hole.

“What are your thoughts-”

You need to let go of your fucking headcanons.

“-about Yang remembering who raised her?”

Oh...

Can’t comment on a situation that doesn’t exist, as Yang never FORGOT.

[mulderspice]

have you ever watched an episode of the Emmy award winning sci-fi drama, The X Files?  Maybe you’ve read my original post and yet you’re still wondering where the hell Fox Mulder got all those strands of hair on his jumbo gigantic head.  I am back and here to help you find the answers to some of your burning questions; as we celebrate the hard work and triumphs of the hair and makeup department on the Fox Lot and team up with my big huge brain and my New York State Cosmetology license to give the people what they want once again: another top ten guide to Mulder’s fucking hair..

upon making this post a second time (rip 😔), I realized that just about every episode (yes, every. single. one. even the ones without Mulder and the latest season where he has to share headspace with [redacted]) has its own important and iconic hair looks... You may recognize that some of these are slightly repeated from the last post but that’s ok! What I'm here to do is enforce! So lets get started..

#10 s6:e21 Field Trip: Here again we begin our journey into cosmetic superstardom with a personal favorite of mine.  Mulder rolling with the times by getting a haircut fresh off the FTF wave left our nation in fucking shambles. Can’t imagine going to see a major motion picture in theatres jam packed with Mulder’s most supreme hair looks only to come back to my tv screen to see it all gone away.  For students reading this post for educational purposes, this caused a worldwide walkout on popular salon franchise Supercuts in the year 1998.  However, a haircut didn’t necessarily mean Mulder forgot how to take care of his hair.  The precision and placement as each strand of hair perfectly outlines his jumbo head is revolutionary and inspiring.  Mushroom induced drug high? K. Lemme still grab my teasing comb and my hairspray and make sure I look presentable for when my partner walks into my apartment screaming abt “where's Mulder” and wanting “answers”.  The answer is this: this look is about giving people like myself with big heads rights and looking fuckable while doing so. 10/10 for inspiring hope.

#9 s1:e9 Space: Imagine you’re a few episodes into a show, the core plot is developing right before your eyes and you’re beginning to get to know The X Files three main characters; Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, and Mulder Hair Strands #1-3.  All is well except, you still have no clue how crucial, and critical Mulder Hair Strands 1-3 will become to the show and to your life and I am here to tell you that you are in for a very rude and bold awakening.  This message goes out to all the haters and all the people who didn’t believe Mulder’s hair was valid prior to season 4. He is here to tell you he DID know how to use dry shampoo and even the occasional blow dry oil and you can suck a dick abt it. Bold of you to assume he wouldn’t pull the round brush and the biosilk out the drawer to impress a visit to fucking NASA. 10/10 for involving science.

#8 s4:e6 Sanguinarium: I sit here writing to you today as the song ‘Handmade Heaven’ comes on shuffle; strikingly fitting for this raw and ethereal image of straight up beauty and wonder and magic and heaven in hair. This special, freshly washed and air dried smells like strawberries and sandalwood and fuckability. The look reaches through your TV and wraps its hands around your neck and sucks the life right out of you.  Are you gonna let it happen? You sure are.  Lucky for you, I just so happened to be there when the angels hand sewed each strand of hair onto his head and here’s what they had to say about it:  this is everything and more and the way Mulder has just washed his hair with fresh mountain water droplets hand collected like nothing else mattered. Put his clothes back on and went on his merry way. Can’t imagine being in Scully’s shoes ready to walk on in her partners room unannounced to go over serious case related matters and theories.  Woulda went bonkers. This truly is a handmade heaven.  Hand crafted by Mulder for Scully and for the good viewers of the globe. 10/10 for embracing me in its arms.

#7 s4:e3 Home: A look from one of primetime TV’s most notorious banned episodes.  Viewer discretion IS advised not only for the horrifying and cringeworthy content displayed in this episode, but for also making it painfully blunt to the viewer that Mulder’s hair follicles are happier and healthier than anybody else's will ever be in their lifetime.  In fact, I can feel my own hair falling out and being respawned onto HIS head as I type this and I’m sure you can too. The way the sun glistens off his golden brown strands makes me want to walk into oncoming traffic.  You might also notice how effortless this look was, as it probably only took a quick run thru with his fingers, and Mulder’s passion and need to look sexy at any time of the day at all times. It’s obvious that this kind of thing comes naturally to him, which just comes off as insulting to men everywhere. 11/10 for striking fear into men’s hearts.

#6 s4:e20 Small Potatoes: Genuinely took every bone and nerve ending in my body to not put this look in the top 5 even though it so clearly deserves it.  Here at mulderspice we believe in diversity, meaning it wouldn’t be right to make my top five greatest hairstyles ever produced on The X Files just of Mulder’s iconic and revolutionizing middle part (though really who is stopping me..). This screenshot in general has me up in arms at how perfectly the blue background matches his eyes, and how it accentuates his hydrated skin and lips.  But you’re not here for that. It’s the hair particularly that really pulls the shot together, as Mulder took the time that morning to spray it with some tinted dry shampoo that most defiantly and absolutely smells like chocolate.   This look feels like a warm hug on a frigid winter day. I feel EMBRACED and I feel CARED FOR thanks to the wonderful staff and team @ Mulder’s head and hair follicles. What the fuck could be better than this. 16/10 for making me feel some type of way.

#5 s4:e8 Tunguska: Currently you may not think anything of Krycek to the left of this image though ill have you know he plays an extremely vital part of this look and all the words I’m about to speak to you directly. So listen up: Krycek may have heroically slayed Mulder’s father in cold blooded and justifiable murder, but we thank him for this, as it caused Mulder to lash out in the best way possible: through looks. “Un-shun: Krycek do you think I’m good to bring my Redkin Rewind 6 styling paste with me or will the Russian TSA think of that as contraband? :Re-shun”.  A sweaty, manly and highly illegal treck through a Russian testing facility and a stint in a violent foreign PRISON surely was not going to stop Mulder from keeping his hair properly hydrated, styled and parted. That’ll really ruffle Krycek’s feathers and make him feel sorry for what he did…. The sexiest way to avenge the death of your deadbeat father. 24/10 for you know why.

#4 s1:e6 Shadows: In the year 1993, Mulder steps onto the scene, young, fresh faced, bright eyed and ready to give men around the globe what they (so desperately) needed: the encouragement to care about their hair.  Any backstreet boy you may know have this scene to thank directly, as this is what encouraged them to reproduce Mulder’s hair onto their own heads time and time again.  What I would give to see with my own eyes Mulder length times width times height his head to equal this perfectly proportionate look of volume and sexy. And who can I write a warrant out to for allowing this shot to take place.  Oh to be the various and expensive hair care products in Mulder’s bathroom …… 899/10 for starting a movement (-1 for making us do equations).

#3: s1:e10 Fallen Angel: The biggest regret I’ve ever had in my short little life was not adding this moment to the last post.  And tumblr deleted it in order to give me this opportunity to present this to you today.  By the way, that absolutely is in fact a choir of angels singing as you view this image. Go ahead and try to think of something on this earth that could be better than this tossled bed headed im-stressed-becos-my-partner-of-2-weeks-isn’t-seeing-the-big-picture-about-how-we’re-all-key-pawns-in-an-ongoing-government-conspiracy hairstyle hand crafted by Mulder all while holding his head in his hands hard at work trying to break through to the truth.  Scully [insert photo of Scully with her eyes popping out of her head here] and I both wanna rip our own hair out and throw it in the garbage. 2000/10 for making our hearts ache..

#2: s4:e10 Paper Hearts: Behold- the image I’m slamming down on the desk at full force when I finally get myself a therapist. I need a licensed professional doctor to help me understand the various angles that this purposeful shot affects my life health and well being. In a paranoia induced out of body experience Mulder took his pinky finger and parted his hair down the middle, took a protractor to perfectly round the tendrils falling ever so gracefully on his forehead and ran out of his apartment and through the woods of DC.  Doesn’t matter if he’s crazy? Doesn’t matter if its fuck all 4am? Who knows if the discoveries of this night is finally going to answer the heartbreaking questions regarding Mulder’s baby sister? Fuck it we’re just gonna make sure Scully has something to look forward to after being awoken yet again in the middle of the night and asked to come wrangle and control this stupid idiot.  This just makes me unhinged.  50000/10 for waking up in the middle of the night and doing the most for us all.  

#1 s4:e3 Teliko: This one will remain number one for as long as I shall live.  I’ve dedicated my life to this cause and I’m ready to make you painfully aware of it. Grab a pen and paper and get ready to do some heavy math with me because this look right in front of your eyes is the equation to happiness and sexiness. Can barely find the words to describe to you how this picture makes me feel. Each strand of hair is personally reaching down and wrapping his head in one big giant hug of protection and solitude.  Unbelievable that Scully didn’t head back to her hotel room and scream at the top of her lungs right after this. There’s no way she went about her day as normal without wanting to kick the shit out of him and then put him back together with soft feathery kisses.  What you are witnessing here is the very turning point of the show where Scully looked into into the very center point of that part and said “guess I have no choice but to fall in love with him 🚶🏽‍♂️”. Chris Carter’s idealistic version of Mulder and the one we actually ended ups seeing as viewers were so drastically different that it’s blatantly clear that he had absolutely no idea the cultural implications that were about to rock the world to its core and tip it on its axis when David Duchovny showed up on set looking like this. I could write a thesis about this. I could conduct research and studies about this.  I got kicked out of college because I cared more about this than I did actual schoolwork. I feel like I’m in a very sexy chokehold. Wish I could live forever in one little square pixel of this image.  Nothing means more to me than this.  1000000/10 no further comments.

and the honorable mentions go to....

s8:e16 Three Words: Dead? Did you die? Did you die and miraculously defy god by rising from the dead and coming back to life? Just got home from the morgue? Think nothing is the same? Left guessing if you’re a soon to be 5 minute father? Did you just fucking die? He’s lost his family and his job and the world just went on without him like it was nobody’s business.  Walked out of the morgue right to his apartment and what did he have left? His expensive array of hair styling and finishing products that’s what the fuck he had left.  Being an all around reject from society didn’t at all stop him from taking his fingers and dipping it into that Big Sexy styling pomade and fluffing his head to high heavens. As a personal fuck you to god and to John Doggett too.  He’ll never let you know the emotional hellstorm going on in his life in that moment but he WILL make it known to you that despite being 8 feet under ground for 6 months he’ll never give up on his hair. For the PEOPLE. Try and go through the nightmare of death and then rejected fatherhood and see if you come out of it with any hair at ALL.  An itty bitty glimpse into what would have been Untitled Mulder Abduction Story (2001)....

I Want To Believe (2008): Here you will see the sluttiest moment in major motion picture history.  Shh im not using this opportunity to show you this screenshot for the 800th time I’m trying to keep you educated.  BREAKING NEWS; Man hiding in home office for 6 years fully off the grid has FULL head of hair and is getting regular sex *not clickbait*. So what if Mulder has gone fully unhinged and off the walls bonkers he’s also gone FULL slut and it shows in that sexy thick voluminous head of slut hair.  If you ever for a second thought prior to seeing this movie for the first time that Mulder would show up a full on son-less wreck and a half think the fuck again babes.  He’s managed to hold on to every single little strand ever grown on his head even well into his middle aged madness and its about time we give him the credit he deserves.  (PS. Please know I wrote this entire spiel without even viewing the shot shown here. Its just permanently etched on the inside of my forehead so its there when my eyes roll back into my head.)  For this we say…..; Whore rights.

s11:e3 Plus One: Incase you were unaware, I have been going through a very slow and painful process of erasing Season 11 from my brain completely.  Its been a long road but its achievable and the end result will save me from a lot of future heartache and trauma.  This however, is a moment I will cherish forever and though you may think its for the hot sex (which is like maybe 30% the case) its actually because it puts together everything I’ve ever loved and believed about the show in only a few thousand pixels. How old is Mulder here? 30? 31? Still has hair and still has an unbelievable amount of love to shower Scully in for as long as they both shall live (which lets face it, she deserves one million times over.)  What this has taught me was to hang up my “Mulder deserved…” hat for good and just be thankful for what I’ve got. I ended up with no son or happy dreamy ending where Mulder gets to die with a family he’s never had in his life, but here we are left with the little things.. Like Mulder and Scully’s unconditional love and most importantly .. The hair on Mulder’s head. Its called growth and acceptance and I am learning it.  Also I just wanted to show you what it would look like if you were like 57 and sexy and still had all ur hair. That’s it :-)

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 4x04-- The Gang is Satirized and Doesn’t Like It

The gang doesn’t like being satirized and I don’t like this episode.

No episode needs to be 57 minutes long. Is it possible that seeing the runtime put me in a bad mood before watching this episode? Absolutely.

Bianca is still trying to get Lucca to take a week off and come play on the beach. This is weird, right?

She’s using a drone to take a selfie which… yikes. Bianca asks what Lucca has in Chicago to match the beach. Lucca takes a look out the window and instead of seeing FakeChicago, she sees a window washer’s ass crack. Lucca protests that she has work in Chicago and can’t leave (are we going to mention her baby?). Before Bianca can ask more questions, David Lee calls Lucca into a meeting.

A former client who says he’s been “bouncing from one [firm] to the other” (which sort of explains why David Lee and Lucca would both have experience with this client who was at RBL a year ago?) is angry because he’s being defamed by a new play. He says his divorce is in the play and wants to sue.

Lucca ChumHums the playwright and recognizes him as a former associate. She brings the case to Adrian’s attention. Before Adrian understands that confidential info made it into the play, he talks about how you shouldn’t give satire oxygen because it will just go away. Easier said than done, huh, Adrian? 

They DID actually fire Alan North for drug use last year. We never saw the actor but his firing was referenced as precedent for firing Maia. Thanks Alan, I guess? 

(Right, I used to spend most of these recaps complaining about Maia! It is very nice not to be doing that anymore.)

Adrian jumps into the case to prevent the client from suing RBL.

We have to see the scene that ended the last episode again. That’s a little clumsy. Maybe trim the stuff we’ve already seen in an episode that’s this long? 

How does Jay POSSIBLY know that one specific dude up at STRL is blocking Diane from searching “What is Memo 618” on Bar-Swarm? I have questions.

Diane immediately heads upstairs to ask this dude about Memo 618. Jay wonders if that’s smart and Diane doesn’t care. As I said to an anon earlier, I feel like now is the time to get a journalist on the case.

Even though Diane storms upstairs uninvited, she’s told “they’re waiting for you.” Creepy.

Diane meets a lot of people, including Bryan Kneef (of internet blocking fame) and a dude who won’t stop hiccuping. 

Oh GOD are we going to have to hear one of these stupid stories from Mr. Firth in every single episode? No fucking wonder this episode is so long.��

Bryan is mad at Diane for poaching his clients. Diane has no idea what he’s talking about. Diane seems to know that her investigator is checking his clients to figure out why he’s blocking her internet. Does Diane actually know Jay is investigating his clients? Or is she just assuming that’s how he found out who was doing the blocking? Because literally as soon as Diane heard Kneef’s name she ran upstairs; there would be no time for her or Jay to begin looking into his clients. 

Mr. Firth asks for Diane not to steal Kneef’s clients and Kneef not to block Diane’s internet access. They agree, but it’s clear neither of them are going to stop doing what they were doing. 

Jay discovers that one of Kneef’s cases disappeared… when he was losing.

Oh, Caleb’s last name is Garlin, not Garland. Noted. Also, I think I mistakenly said STRL was British a few weeks ago. It doesn’t appear to be. 

Marissa bothers Caleb again and asks him to tell her a joke. He does, but she’s unimpressed. 

Caleb has a photographic memory. I like Caleb so far. I feel like he’s kind of what they wanted Finn to be-- a charming good guy. But we’ll see; it’s early yet. 

Caleb gives Diane the number of a legal code the judge needed to review. In a sequence that goes on 30 seconds too long, Diane discovers this code redirects to another code, which redirects right back endlessly. Fun! 

When Diane goes to check a physical book, she discovers all the legal books are fake. Sounds about right. 

Ah, this terrible attorney who hits on young women is back because of reasons related to the other case that disappeared. Marissa is now helping Diane with her 618 quest, maybe because she’s met this creep before?

Diane offers to represent him (he’s being sued for doing a shitty job on disappearing case).

Meanwhile, Adrian and Charlotte go to see “Cocksucker in Chains”, which turns out to be about an African American firm populated by characters who are clearly supposed to be the RBL partners. Julius narrates the play, Adrian likes to be dominated by the Diane character while roleplaying a slave to Diane’s dominatrix (yikes), etc. Adrian is named “Aiden” and Diane is “Dana”. This seems like a good time to remind you all of the original TGW character names from the Pilot outline: Alicia Follick, David Follick (and David Follick Jr.!!!), Dawna Lockhart, and Will Garvin.

The first time through, I was appreciative (and shocked) we got so few scenes from the play. Usually if the Kings have a device like this, we tend to get… more of the device than is necessary. Y’all know how this one turns out. 

This play, from what we see of it, looks kind of terrible. That said, I think it’s SUPER realistic, and interesting, that a low-level black associate would see all the white people coming into the firm as “dominating” a black man who gets off on being submissive. I don’t think that’s an accurate characterization of Adrian’s actions but if you don’t know his reasoning or how things played out, it absolutely could seem like Diane has all the power. And I imagine that young, idealistic lawyers who signed on to work at a firm that was proudly all-black would not have been thrilled by Diane’s sudden appearance and all of the changes that followed. Remember how in season one RBL had things it stood for and then Barbara left and then all it stood for was money?

Relatedly, remember that little throwaway line about how Barbara donated MORE money to HRC than Diane Lockhart did? Heh.

Adrian, as the episode title indicates, DOES NOT LIKE BEING SATIRIZED and tells Lucca they need to shut the play down. That escalated quickly.

Please explain to me how I accidentally memorized the name of the actor playing Kovac but didn’t memorize the character’s name. 

Diane tells Liz and Adrian about her latest Memo 618 adventure and Adrian keeps asking why this matters. “I’m not asking for your permission; I’m just filling you in,” Diane notes. “Maybe you should be asking for our permission,” Adrian counters because he does not want to be dominated by Diane. “Maybe. But I’m not,” she responds.

Liz thinks that Adrian acted weirdly. Adrian explains he doesn’t like how Diane insinuates she can overrule them. Liz has no idea what Adrian is talking about. So he explains the play. Liz still doesn’t think it’s a big deal and asks to take it over.

She then gets Caleb involved-- I guess Lucca is just done working now? Okay? It was nice to have Lucca scenes in this episode while it lasted!!! 

Liz and Caleb go to see the play and now we get to see the scenes where Liz is satirized. Fake Liz sings, because of COURSE they are going to have the FAKE version of her sing. Her song is about how her daddy is a sexual predator. It’s quite upsetting.

Liz and Caleb stay for a Q&A in which the playwright says the client in the play was “based on” (not “inspired by”). (Actually this happens after my second bullet but meh)

Then there’s a white woman who goes on a rant that feels too ridiculous to be true but apparently it’s lifted almost verbatim from an actual incident that happened at a Slave Play Q&A (I am not New York enough to have gotten the reference without the internet’s help). 

Monica is back! Yay Monica! Nikki just needs to show up on Evil next season and she’ll have been on every Kings show. 

Blah blah 618 blah blah. I don’t dislike this arc but I don’t have much to say about it. Like, I get it, corporations are powerful and the law is fake and this is a way of commenting on the insanity of the world while backing away from the politics. But other than saying that and enjoying the twists and turns… I don’t have anything to add.

Man, I miss character based drama. That’s not a criticism of the show, but this recap format is way less interesting (to write, and probably to read) when I don’t have anything to sink my teeth into.

Adrian doesn’t want to settle because now Adrian is mad. The client gets what he wants and Adrian insists they keep going. I mean, if the episode stopped now it would be a reasonable, even short, episode, and we’ve got fifty seven whole minutes to fill..

Liz is also on board to prolong the case. Lucca, who actually has perspective, tells Adrian he’s not acting in the client’s best interest. Adrian denies it. LOL, sure. 

At this exact moment Lucca receives (and looks at) a text from Bianca, who is still pursuing her. Tempting.

Liz asks Marissa if she’s heard of Cocksucker in Chains. She has, and she is getting a “gang” together to go see it, because of course she is.

David Lee enjoys the play. Diane and Kurt, less so. Julius and his wife do not like it at all. Also apparently we HAD seen Julius’s wife before and I somehow FORGOT?????

Play!Julius monologuing about justice makes Real!Julius reevaluate his decisions. 

Then we get into this weird Diane and Kurt sex plot that is kind of about the idea of problematic kinks (like getting off on watching a fake version of your white wife whip a black man) but is mostly just an excuse for fanservice in the form of Christine Baranski in sexy get-ups. She’s got an amazing figure, but does that alone justify this subplot? (I say no.)

(Also I’d be way more invested in a plotline about McHart’s sex life if it didn’t begin and conclude in the back half of a single episode. It’s sparked by the play-- not any ongoing issues-- and concludes in a cute way so to me it is… nothing.)

Marissa goes undercover as a playwright. Everyone in the group dislikes the writer of Cocksucker in Chains… a lot. They hand over the drafts easily.

Liz and Caleb spend a late night reading smut said by fake Liz in an early draft script to each other. Over it already. I was never a fan of boss/employee plots, and in this era, with this character who has SO MUCH potential but never really gets plotlines of her own, I have zero patience for this bullshit. Liz deserves better.

What really confuses me is that somehow Liz/Caleb is supposed to be about… investigating what interracial relationships are like???? If they’re so insistent on showing this can’t they… do something other than this? Random stranger at a bar?

I do not like this thing that is happening to Liz where whenever she gets a plot of her own it’s about fucking someone she shouldn’t be fucking. I haven’t forgotten what the writers did to Geneva Pine in late season seven for LITERALLY NO REASON. 

Liz would not flirt with an employee. Like, just stop. Liz has spent the last year coming to terms with her father being a serial assailant and we are going to deal with that by… having her make eyes at Caleb? That is not interesting or complicated.

And, tbh, it’s especially insulting to Liz when none of this feels motivated in character and ALL of it feels motivated in “we need a sexy forbidden romance so we can explore themes.” Get this plot away from Liz. 

This episode is too long, in case I haven’t already said that enough times.

And now the scene in which Bryan Kneef, the latest Rebel Dude Lawyer, says the word “ass” many times. I repeat: this episode is too long. 

Mr. Firth talks to Diane about pursuing 618. I don’t understand Mr. Firth’s deal. Why does he let Diane continue? Is he just a person who happens to be powerful who is actually trying to do a fair job and be understanding? This show just doesn’t have characters like that so you see why I am skeptical.

Again with the window washers. Of all the symbols of the problems with office life, this one?! (It plays especially poorly right now-- I wish that my biggest problem with my workspace was that there are people cleaning the windows to make my view nicer and not, you know, that my current workspace is my bedroom.) 

Firth goes to see Lucca next. Lucca says she doesn’t like her new standing desk. Wait. They got desks that are standing ONLY without consulting the employees? 

This scene is succeeding in making me miss the standing desk that I’ve only ever used as a standing desk, like, twice. 

No one on this show has a monitor at their desk. I wonder if that’s true to life for law firms. 

Now Bianca has found a way to make it part of Lucca’s JOB to come hang out at the beach and this is making me uncomfortable. Firth tells Lucca to go, even though Lucca shares her concern that Bianca just wants a friend. Firth somehow has a similar story to share and tells Lucca “the rich are not like us.” K. Sure. Maybe we can get away with calling Lucca well-off instead of rich but Firth? Rich. Maybe not ultra wealthy but dude is rich. 

SERIOUSLY what is with the window washers?

Enjoy this scene of Diane the dominatrix, fans. It’s here for you. 

(I don’t mean that snarkily against fans. I mean that snarkily against the show.)

The stock footage clip with the moon over Chicago is one of the more interesting stock footage clips I’ve seen the show use (plus it actually looks like the neighborhood Diane would live in!)

Oh I am just so thrilled that at the 44 minute mark, we are starting to do a series of unnecessary scenes in which the characters converse with their actor counterparts. What a good use of time.

And the sad thing is that I should like this device… but I don’t. None of this is actually building up the characters for me? How invested can I be in Diane and Kurt’s sex life problems when I’ve known about them for less than half of the episode? How interested can I be in deconstructing 

And I don’t need a scene of Julius debating if he should be honest or not, because the scene of him watching the play was enough to make me understand he’s having doubts about complying with 618.

And you know what I REALLY, TRULY, DO NOT NEED? ALL OF THIS ATROCIOUS LIZ/CALEB PLOT. 

Why is Play Liz so horny? What about Real Liz made the playwright write Liz to be like this? And if it’s not accurate, why is it getting under Liz’s skin like this? I get the Diane one because it was a turn-on and it makes Diane wonder about dominating (outside of the bedroom, too). I get the Adrian one because I mean holy shit that’s a big claim to make. And I get the Julius one because Julius loves to be the voice of reason/hear his own voice and feels like a hypocrite. But Liz? What the fuck is this nonsense?

Liz saying “I’m his boss” and talking about HR does not excuse the fact that we are pretending a boss/employee romance is a good plotline in 2020. And I’m so confused about why THIS is the way they are choosing to explore an interracial relationship.

I have watched TV shows before so obviously as soon as I saw Liz get on the elevator, I knew from the fact that we were watching her leave… she wasn’t going to leave. She was going to go and fuck her employee. Great writing guys. 

This also managed to remind me of all my anger at the Red Team Blue Team Willicia kiss (they previewed it as a sneak peak and I was excited that it it didn’t end with them kissing because that’s so cliche… then I watched the episode and I’m still furious about it in season four of the spinoff.) so thanks for that too, writers. 

Why is Fake Liz’s stupid song so goddamn long? 

“Oh God help me,” Liz says as she knowingly goes to make an incredibly stupid decision I have NOT A SINGLE REASON to believe she would make. But this is The Good Fight, and on The Good Fight we care about plot more than characters. 

(Oh. I am in a bad mood.) 

The client wants out of the suit because… I mean, duh? He got what he wanted and this should have stopped at like the 20 minute mark?

If I never had to see another one of these “boss and employee awkwardly talk in the office about how it’s nbd they fucked last night” scenes again I would be OVER THE MOON. I watched all of Willicia and I will rewatch all of Willicia, is that not enough?! 

I do like Caleb so far, but man, that just makes this worse! I like Caleb and I like Liz and maybe I could even like them together but I am so furious they’re doing the boss/employee thing it just makes me sad to see this happen to characters I like. 

Diane is now circling the word “ass” in transcripts of the deposition, but the suit’s been dropped because the suit was settled for 1.8 million. (I am sure that’s a lot to the victim and absolutely nothing to the corporation.) 

Also Kovac brings Diane a bird because WE LOVE WACKINESS ON THE GOOD FIGHT. 

And now for a scene in which a mysterious visitor gives Kurt a warning to stop Diane from pursuing something dangerous. I thought we were done with this. This shit is what I hated about the Book Club arc in season three: the stakes got too high for me to take it seriously. They run the risk of doing the same with Memo 618. Keep it small scale. 

Kurt tells Diane about his visitor, and Kurt and Diane both recognize that this is similar to what happened last year, so at least there’s continuity. 

Diane says this isn’t about politics. I mean. Not overtly. But that’s the point. This whole arc is a thinly veiled way of exploring how the legal system breaks down when there’s no enforcement, and lack of enforcement is tied to politics, so… is this really as apolitical as Diane wants it to seem? Certainly it’s less political than Book Club but I don’t think a radical group should be the benchmark.

Diane promises she’ll drop 618, then gets an idea to spice up her sex life by modifying her dominatrix costume into a sexy cowgirl costume. (Diane is not going to drop 618. This is episode 4.)

Did Diane just grab a gun from the bathroom? Why are there guns in the bathroom? I guess it makes sense if she was planning this.

Oh and that’s the end of the episode!!! I DID IT!!!! I MADE IT THROUGH HIS EPISODE A SECOND TIME!

[thessaliah]

Who is the “Person of Chaldea”?

For those who didn't know, there is a mysterious helper who appears in the Lostbelts and aids Chaldea indirectly by helping the people they made contact or would make contact.  Here cut under spoilers the information we have and already old destroyed guesses and theories:

We know little about this man (assuming is a man which seems most likely right now) who appears in Lostbelts when Chaldea isn't around to give a helping hand. The direct (not speculation related) info we have is:

He is referred specifically as the "カルデアの者."

Wears white.

His clothes are dirty and tattered, covers his head and face with a hood.

He apparently fights with a curved, thin sword or something alike it (note this is an old Yaga describing this so if he was using some magic trick he wouldn't know).

He knows magecraft of the Ages of Gods that isn’t rune based.

He knows how to treat injuries, plague, and has the skill as a physician. He is called a 'sensei' in LB3.

Knows assorted skills like how to take care of fields.

He is able to manifest in the Lostbelts by mysterious means.

Pronouns: 私 and お前 to address others.

He has a 'tch' tongue clunking quirk but he claims is because of his sore throat and body.

He is shocked to find people who would put themselves in a disadvantage to offer him kindness and hospitality.

He seems detached about humanity at some level and a pragmatic point of view.

He might appear different than he used to look or have a different body.

He says his goals haven't changed and he has done the same things in the past (without such welcome). "His actions are the same."

Holmes speculates he’s a “survivor of Chaldea.”

Those are the official things we know. There is more I could add that could be related to him but that goes in identity theory.

DEBUNKED: MUSASHI+ DIFFERENT SERVANT ON EACH LOSTBELT

When Musashi appeared in LB1, plenty of fans (and even the characters) assumed Musashi who also claimed as an ally of Chaldea (but using a completely different label and not カルデアの者) was this mysterious helper: she had covered her face with a hat, she wielded a katana and all. But they didn't notice the lack of quirk and the lack of healing expertise. In LB2, the Person of Chaldea is an overpowerful mage, so ruled her out unless he was a new one. By LB4, it leaves clear that is the same person that travels in all Lostbelts, he gets dialogue and internal monologue for the first time. Leaving the theories of Musashi, Ryoma, Muramasa, Paracelsus, etc out of the running.

DEBUNKED: IT’S A CRYPTER

Before LB4, there was a popular theory the Person of Chaldea was actually a Crypter, in particular,  Kirschtaria Wodime, because he favors white. But after LB4, we know the man travels alone and that for a Crypter to move between Lostbelts, they need the help of an Emissaries. Evil Mercenary Tamamo is good for such task. Crypters are more than antagonists but they are unlikely to be the Person of Chaldea.

POSSIBILITY # 1: IT’S A NEW SURPRISING CHARACTER OR SOMEONE UNEXPECTED LIKE MARISBURY ANIMUSPHERE

Because the person is hard to fit on the old characters we know, perhaps it's a new one. Abe no Seimei is a good possibility when there are characters related to him introduced. Murasaki, his student, his foes Tamamo and Douman. However, my only complaint here is that they yanked our chains for two years of mystery to introduce a new character? The possibility exists, but it seems like poor writing. If we are talking of dark horses, Marisbury Animusphere is certainly another possibility, although the pronouns don't fit, and he has no notable physician experience that we know, he wears white, he's from Chaldea, and the shoes (not the coat) match the man in the OP. I mean to put him here as a possibility he's connected, but my suspicion is that Marisbury is more unfortunately linked to the antagonist, the God of Another Planet. I'll leave that for another post. His possibilities to be the Person of Chaldea raises if Daybit is an antagonist and not the potential aloof ally he seems to be.

POSSIBILITY # 2: IT’S SOLOMON

Romani, Goetia, a combination, etc. Solomon. "But Solomon disappeared!" I can cite a lot of things, from Goetia voicing the PV, to Roman in the Lost Room, to the fact both left remnants (which Ars Nova shouldn't have allowed) and Chaldea is stated to want to build a record for Romani specifically. But I frankly don't care about this, Nasu would explain this if the time comes. The Lostbelts have revised the Modern History anyway, and whatever happens inside their Wall of Storms is not "our World" technically.

So far is the most likely possibility, and why there's a tease and red herring from one or the other. Unrelated but completely important is the scene in the Lost Room, the final shot of someone picking up one of Solomon's rings from the thrones before leaving. The question remains is which Solomon?

THE CASE FOR AND AGAINST GOETIA: "Goetia is in Romani's body" seems to be the most popular theory since the OP image show up (along with the initial "was that Marisbury?"). Goetia does use, among other pronouns, watashi and omae. The personality of the Person of Chaldea seems colder and harsher than Romani usually displayed, so fits more Goetia, as well as the fact of "is this appearance?" which makes him mull over how he's treated, which could refer to wear Romani's body and clothes as he did to Solomon. Maybe he gained medical knowledge too. However, are we sure is him or Nasu wants us to assume is him for taking to face some superficial statements? The main case against is that his current actions don't match his past ones, even if one is to assume his goal and motivation remains the same (he feels sorry for humans), that he has indeed wear Roman's likeness in the past (with Mashu) and he shouldn't be shocked about the benefit of a human appearance when his shtick was passing himself as Solomon or Roman or making his pillars take human vessels. The other case against is the tsking. Tsking and tongue clunking to my memory are not one of his quirks. IMO, Goetia is a strong if not the strongest contender. I'm not sold about Roman's body, because Roman's body disappeared (and I feel it's irritating for his sake and Roman he's still under his shadow rather than stand as his own character), the tongue quirk could be because whoever body he’s using or inhabiting has it. 

THE CASE FOR AND AGAINST ROMANI (SOLOMON): "A doctor in white" was the second most popular theory but fell off a little after the monologue of the Person of Chaldea because he lacked Romani's nicer personality and his usual pronouns (Boku/kimi). It's true it cannot be the same Romani Archaman we know, but this doesn't mean it cannot be him. We'll start for the case for: a physician with assorted talents (all that could be feasible for Romani/Solomon - and yes, includes having a legendary long thin blade listed in wikipedia - and this also can be listed on Goetia’s favor too!) that wears white, is from Chaldea, and still has the same actions, goals, and motives. The actions might have been weird, but with episode 0, we saw Romani walk the world on his own and doing odd jobs including acting as doctor in disaster zones, until he turned to Chaldea to complete his mission. How is that different from the Person of Chaldea’s present actions? The main objections are sound: the man doesn't talk or acts (in temperament) like Roman, and the quirk isn't his. However, after becoming Solomon again did use watashi and omae (he switched gradually from boku to watashi in the temple, if you carefully replay his unused voice clips and read his farewell scene) and his personality would be different if he was in possession or manifestation of a new body, as most Pseudo Servants (Ishtar wouldn't act like Rin if she wasn't in Rin's body, for example, we know this from Strange Fake - the vessel influences the spirit). The Servants who cannot manifest alone require vessels and the vessels can influence the way they talk, their temperaments and -obviously- give them a new appearance which our Person of Chaldea might have. Despite his friendliness, Romani seemed to speak and think of humanity from the distance (Accel Zero comes to mind where he reveals he's pretty  pragmatic who wouldn't go around to change things as Waver did), he also thinks people should hate him (in his Blurb of relationship with the Master), so if it's Solomon post Roman's self-loathing, him acting surprised that those people in India Lostlet are willing to accommodate him with the little they had and were so kind toward him is unfortunately not as weird as we might think. Da Vinci changed from a sassy libertine to a (dull) angelic younger sister type after her rebirth just after the Prologue if we need a precedent. 

As for me, whoever the person of Chaldea is, I would prefer if Roman remains Roman. I absolutely dislike the change in Da Vinci (looks and personality) but I am not blind not to see the possibility with the metaphor of the "peppermint green book" in the latest event the doctor appeared (you know that whole “things -people-  you believe lost might be returned to you but with differences”). There is another case I'm considering but is more self-indulging, because doesn't mean desecrating Solomon's second corpse (even if it disappeared!), Goetia's arc, and Romani's whole self. The one of assimilation like Kingu and Enkidu which means the Person of Chaldea could be a new Solomon created of Romani and Goetia mutual elements. They used to share a body. That’s another case, but I’m not sure. My heart leans closer to Goetia in this, but my gut feels he could be red herring for Solomon 2.0.

Of course, this could be all be wrong and it’s truly Abe no Seimei or something outlandish like Future Ritsuka (I forgot to debunk this, it feels laughable when Ritsuka has a very limited character or arc, and cannot do a single healing spell to know magecraft of the Ages of Gods - plus would give Gudako an edge over the male Ritsuka -who uses ore as pronoun- and that won’t be allowed, sadly). You never know. I just wanted to share past and present theories. From a writing perspective, I just don’t think some new character would be right when they are treating this as a slowburn mystery arc and purposefully used Musashi as an in-game red herring. Maybe if Abe no Seimei -or whoever if it’s a new character- gets a better set up, certainly. Marisbury possibility is still strong if he’s not an antagonist.

[highkingfen]

You are so “positive fake”. You say you understand why people are mad yet never address the lgbtqia problem. No wonder since you aren’t in the community anyway. Stop pretending things are perfect your the reason the fandom is bad right now, it’s ok for us to be mad and hate the author. Fuck your fake happiness. Hope you stay in your depression until you realize what you do is wrong

Alright, It took me a moment to answer this because the last sentence you said just broke my heart. Whatever our opinions are, wishing someone to stay in illness is just pure cruelty. We may agree to disagree, but this is going way too far and I think most of my friends here and irl would tell you the same. Please ask yourself why you needed to end your message that way.

Second, this is not fake positive. If you read my blog, you’ll see I post sad things to, I just actively decided not to engage in the fandom debate because I have a different opinion, and also because I don’t think adding my voice will bring something to the conversation. I do talk actively about the season 4 finale, just in private. 

In fact, today I will record a special episode of my podcast Fillorians United with Vanessa Zoltan from Harry Potter and the sacred text and one of our point of discussion will be how to conciliate your love of something while having a problematic author (for her, it is JK latest tweets). I wanted to bring that into the fandom later and hope this will make people heal a bit more. That’s my way of taking care of the fandom. Vanessa is really insightful and her word in private helped me feel better about how I handle The Magicians content, when I will publish the mini-episode, please listen to it. 

Third, I am not vocal about it but I AM in the LGBTQIA+ community. I am a biromantic asexual who is married to a bisexual transgender man. I do not see my sexual identity as my identity as some member of the community may have (i.e my husband is strong in Montreal Queer community and needed to find others like him, I do not carry that wish but respect his and, by being with him, meet a lot of people in the community as well.) I DO understand what you are going through. I DO read a lot about it. But does this mean your voice is more valid than mine?I don’t think so. I think the internet and this fandom is big enough for people to be mad and express it and have people that don’t feel as strongly as you and still want to enjoy doing gifset and writing fics without making it political. Both are ok. I hate seeing people getting angry at actors or lashing at the on twitter like they had a saying in what happened. 

People forgot that most of them learn the true finale 2 days before us and that their job is to act. If they defend the show they are in, most of it is because this is their secure job and they fight for it to stay alive. You don’t like this? Then stop watching instead of being mad at people that are simply the tools of what writers wrote. 

I also want to make a note for anyone that, as someone who studied Public Relation during a crisis, I would have recommended to Sera and John not to talk anymore because whatever they do or say will never be good enough for part of the fandom. Better for them not being attacked for everything they tweet and focusing on their job. They are in a hurricane and, right now, I don’t blame them to need to be in their safe house. When the storm will be calmer, I would tell them to go back on twitter. But right now, whatever they say will not be enough and will just put oil on fire. This is why I do not resent their silence. Even if I wish they’d talk, I understand why they don’t.

Also anon, all of The Magicians isnt hurt and hating the show now. I want to show you how amazing this fandom is

Because of the fandom, my 2nd edition of The Magicians DND book on Kickstarter is 130% funded and If I get 1500$ will be able to afford to take off work for a whole month and work on it, but even if I get 3 weeks it is because fans were willing to give me a bit of their money to say “hey, what you do is cool and I want to encourage you.” In my wildest dream, I’d never believed this could happen. 

I see people doing cosplays and getting ready for ComicCon, encouraging each other, screaming when they see pictures. And I am here for it. I went in so many fandom that was taking apart everything a cosplayer didn’t do instead of adoring the hard work people put into it

There is AT LEAST 5 lets-keep-busy-during-the-hiatus project happening! From The Welter Challenge to a Big Bang to a Queliot or an Alice week! It is WONDERFUL to see that despite it all, some of us stay and don’t want the hiatus to means nothing happens here

people are SO fucking creative! I can’t keep up to ao3 anymore which is AMAZING! When I arrived in the fandom there were 15 fics at most. I see people doing pins and shirt and prints and fan art and gifset and analyzing the clothing and their meaning and I’m just....!!!! I think something becomes meaningful and bigger than itself the moment it makes people create. 

The fact that, while I write this, I have several tweets telling me that I am loved, defended and 98% of people here do not tolerate bullies. We do not gatekeep your ship, or your notp, or if you only participate by reblogging and not doing new stuff. A fan is a fan. But what we gatekeep is hate, is attacking people because you want them to feel as bad as you, is wishing someone depression

See. I was positive. Yet I didn’t talk about the season finale. Because there is 3 season and a half that I FUCKING adore, people that are worth praising and I decided to focus on that. 

Lastly, my choice to be positive is harder than it looks. Sometimes I want to scream too. Or reblog rants. But I try to spin this into my creations and another way to make people smile, feel a bit better and heal. I said it and I will repeat it again, I started to adore Fen when I realized she made the choice of kindness.  And you see her struggle in season 3 because part of her want to cross her arm and let the bad things happen. But Julia reminds her, and me, that hurting doesn’t mean other people are hurt too,

This is why I will finish this with a word of wisdom; If the show hurt you so much that you want to hurt back, maybe its time for you to step away from the fandom for a moment, and ask yourself if it is worth making someone cry while being anonymously mean. 

[skull001]

Friday... It was like 7:30 PM and thought I could take a quick 10 minute nap but was so exhausted from work that next thing I knew was waking up at 3:00 AM. And since there is not much to do to pass time, I decided to do something about it: write.

One of the things I always liked about the Sonic franchise is it's characters. It's not only that they have very appealing designs that combine cute traits with a touch of coolness, but also their well defined personalities. Saddly, I often see people get the wrong idea about them... and it's not just the fans (particularly the fandumb who misinterpretate them into something they are not out of spite) but even the people who are supposed to be professionals who for some reason struggle to get the hang of characters that at first glance seem to have simple personalities.

Today I'm just going to focus on the main cast besides Sonic: Eggman, Tails, Amy and Knuckles.

Dr. Eggman IMO is a character that was always meant to be a cartoony villain who is as goody as he is dangerous. While in Japanese manuals he calls himself a scientific genious of evil, the truth is that Eggman is for the most part, just a very selfish and immature fellow who happens to also be the most brilliant mind in the entire world.

The reason why Eggman is so dangerous is that he pursues his selfish desires such as building an entire amusement park just for himself (and to absolutely share it with no one else) without ever thinking of how he puts everyone, himself included, in great danger by handling forces that he can't expect to control. He is like a very spoiled manchild who is playing with fire in a tinderbox.

While he considers evil, it's also important to note that Eggman is not exactly what I would call sadistic (except in the Archie/IDW comic) since he never is shown to enjoy the suffering of innocents that are caught on his schemes... Eggman simply just doesn't care, but I believe that if he were to be conscious of how his actions affect others, he might at the very least hesitate on going further with his plans because despite being a trouble maker, Eggman is not a monster and in some occassions has shown to still have redeeming aspects that do surface from time to time.

Another interesting aspect about Eggman is that despite him boasting about how great it is to be him and acting all smug, he might actually be a character that feels lonely. In Sonic Unleashed, this point was brought by Chip and think there is validity to it because in the next game, we're introduced to his two assistants Orbot and Cubot, who ever since have kept company to the doc, though as expected, he treats them awfully (but never in a cruel way) just like a bully would to their henchmen. Perhaps Eggman does want to have friends, but because of his selfish and self-centered personality, he drives away anyone who might want to try to come close to him. Heck, the only reason he and Amy remained Fuzzy Puppy buddies in Sonic Boom was that for once, Eggman stopped acting like a spoiled brat and returned the stolen figure after Amy threatened to stop being his friend.

Tails (aka Miles Prower). Tails is a character that has suffered a lot in recent games because of what I mentioned at the start of this wall of text: simple characters who are misunderstood.

This is a character that is meant to be the kid of the group, and as such, he would be the one who experiences doubts and self-confidence issues because while you have strong and experienced characters like Sonic and Knuckles, or the self-made heroine that Amy Rose eventually grew to become, Tails is just the youngest member of the group who for the longest time relied on being by Sonic's side to have the confidence to do things.

Tails has a talent when it comes to tinkering with machines which seems to bring him great joy (I imagine it's the kind like when I build sci-fi model kits), and is always seeking to gain the acknowledgement from his friends by showing to them his latest inventions. At heart, Tails is a gentle child who is the exact opposite of Dr. Eggman because while the doc uses all his talents and resources for self-serving purposes, Tails wants for his inventions to help make life easier for others. However, often his inventions have flaws/bugs that the boy oversees because of his child-like enthusiasm, and this can sometimes cause troubles (like in Sonic Boom's "UT" episode) that causes for Tails to sink into his own doubts.

One thing that I feel is very important to take into consideration is that Tails should never be the kind of character that guilt-trips the audience into feeling sorry for him. When one feels empathy for a character, it's often because they struggle and show very humane and relatable emotions. Tails being confused about what went wrong is IMO a very sincere form of showing his doubts and him trying to correct them is his form of struggle. A trap writers could fall for is to make the other characters act mean to him which is something I feel should be avoided because it cheapens the whole thing.

Amy Rose. With Amy, the thing I liked and always believed is that out of all the characters, she is the one with the most potential... And what annoys me is the way Sonic Team fails to deliver on it by all of the wrong reasons.

I always loved Amy because she is one of the characters that to mee feels the most "real". Amy is a very energetic and bubbly girl with an endless supply of optimism that always makes her see the best out of any situation. She also has quite some flaws too, like being impulsive, quick to jump into conclussions, can be a bit feisty, etc... IMO, this makes Amy feel closer to the normal people and believe that in the Sonic franchise, she serves as a bridge between Sonic's bigger than life adventures and the normal, everyday life. But if there is one thing that this character has that won me over, is her compassion and empathy for others. Sure, every character can show that too because it's a basic humane quality. However, none of them takes it to the length that Amy does because what makes Amy unique is that her compassion and empathy also extends towards the bad guys. You see, Amy is the kind of character that believes that everyone deserves to be happy in life, and because her insight makes her realize the sadness experienced by those who lost their way and deviated into a dark path, she will try to make them realize the inner good that they forgot existed or did not know was there. Where Sonic saves the world, Amy saves bad guys from themselves.

Funny enough, Amy herself is a character that I am very sympathetic for because unlike Tails and Knuckles, who from the very start of their careers had the full support of Sonic Team and always received a preferential treatment, Amy is a character that had to start literally from zero to get where she is now... and even then, sometimes it feels like she is often left behind by the developers who overlook the many things that she as a character can contribute to the main cast, what she herself can accomplish as a hero, what she can add as a playable character... And it's this one-sided form of exclussion that feels so unfair, based on dumbass ideas like "she wasn't part of the Genesis trilogy" that has resulted in so many missed opportunities... From SA2 not continuing her character development by giving the spotlight instead to Knuckles (who didn't even contributed to the plot in any meaningful way and was just there for the sake of pandering to his popularity), to being robbed in Forces from being the leader the IDW comic showed (and which previous games hinted she would one day become) to Mania not having her in the game despite already haven proved to be a great addition in Sonic Advence, giving her spot instead to a couple of literal nobodies. Even the animated mini-series would had also forgotten all about her had it not been for Tyson Hesse, who likes the character and always wanted to feature her and insisted until he got the green light to go ahead with what I feel is the most special episode of the Mania Adventures mini series (and the oerfect Christmas gift for me).If only Christian Whitehead and Takashi Iizuka had been more like Hesse... Cowards. No, I'm not even fucking sorry for calling them that.

Sometimes, as an Amy fan, it's so very hard to have any love for things like the immensely popular "classic trio" (the concept, not the characters involved) because how this has resulted in Amy always getting the short end of the stick. This is a character that IMO should had been right up there along Tails in terms of importance, not being sidelined or excluded over crap "reasons".

And finally, Knuckles.

Oh Knuckles, where do I begin. Despite how sometimes I may sound harsh towards the character, I have to say that I do like Knuckles because as a character, I believe he can be one of the most entertaining and relatable of the franchise, but because Sonic Team are a mixed bag themselves (they create wonderful character designs and give them unique personalities for the most part, but God if they can be clumsy when it comes to handling them) I feel that Knuckles is the opposite of Amy in that he is a character that fell victim of his popularity, where Amy on the other hand is a victim just because she wasn't introduced in a certain trilogy of games.

As a character, Knuckles feels like a mix between Donald Ducks short-tempered personality, and Daffy Duck's jealousy towards the main character. Indeed, Knux can be quite explosive with his temper, especially if it involves unwanted visitors laying their filthy casual paws all over the master emerald, or when facing unexpected obstacles (I know how this feels... I too hate when my work is affected by factors outside my own power. XD) which in animation, were hilariously captured by Tyson.

Knuckles relationship with Sonic on paper is that of a friendly rivalry... Not because Knuckles is this supposedly good, close friend of Sonic, which I still believe he is not (Tails has a reason to be a close friend, Amy has a reason AND had to struggle and insist until she finally got there... Knuckles though, he was never given one, although it's never too late to start working on it), but rather, because Knuckles was never a bad guy... He simply was some echidna with a very honest and naive sense of what is right which Dr. Eggman took advantage of to pit him against Sonic and Tails. Even if Knuckles was thankful to Sonic for helping clear the mess and recover the master emerald, I believe that deep down, Knuckles still resents having not only been tricked by Eggman, but also being beaten by Sonic... and not just in the literal sense of having been KO'd in Kombat, but also in the sense that Sonic did what he was supposed to do: retrieve the master emerald. This IMO is a wound in Knuckles' pride that never truly healed.

And this brings me to what makes Knuckles so sympathetic. Knuckles is the least brilliant mind of the group. He us also stubborn... A literal knucklehead. And yet, Knuckles is aware of this and in more than one occassion has expressed his frustration and regret for how easy he can be taken advantage of... How could someone not love Knuckles and just want to give him a good hug? This is why I was so very moved when the Archie comic had a heartwarming moment where he and Amy have a talk during a journey to retrieve the shards of the master emerald. Ian Flynn did a great job IMO at humanizing Knux by having him open up to Amy and talk about the things that trouble him, from Sonic being a teased, to his doubt to whether he is worthy of being the master emerald's guardian... And how Amy not only reminded how despite his mistakes, he never ever gave up. And when their adventure was over and succeded in their mission, Amy gave Knuckles that hug he deserved and needed so badly to make him feel appreciated.

They are all wonderful characters when they are done right, and why it so frustrates me so very much when they mess up with them because people, like the unintelligent mass of meat that they are, will always jump to the laziest and easiest conclussion, which is why they all have been given negative stigmas that have been so hard to shake off.

I really wish that these characters were made not only justice, but also to be handled by competent people that can understand what makes them themselves, who understand how they are suppose to act like and provide something that actually rewards their fans instead of punishing them (I'm looking at you Sonic Forces!). Funny how it's cartoons like Sonic Boom, the very last Archie comics and the IDW comic that has been delivering the things I always wanted while the games struggle and fail to deliver. This is why the idea of the next game worries me because I really don't have much faith in Sonic Team doing anything that has not been done in the last games: Sonic only, Tails's character being further butchered while Amy and Knuckles are glorified extras. How can I even have the least faith in them when their track record speaks so loud and clear? Only way the next game will give this characters the care they deserve is if the story is writen by either Ian Flynn or Tyson Hesse. They're the only ones that deliver what Pontac, that other guy and Sonic Team themselves failed to do.

[ctl-yuejie]

Have you been enjoying History3: Trapped or???

ahahaha, yes I’m throughly enjoying it so far. it’s a little bit more on the camp side than i expected but so far they’re good at keeping it balanced.

(i’m just going to use this ask to put down my thoughts on the first 6 episodes: if you haven’t watched all episodes yet - SPOILER alert)

Shao Fei

i loved jake hsu even before the series started because he’s fabulous á la zach lu so i might be biased, but out of all the main characters i like his acting the best. he’s such a nervous bean (opposite of what i expected) and jake manages to perfectly deliver the more serious parts while also having great comedic timing. really looking forward to seeing more of his performance.

as for the character: considering that he’s supposedly one of the top policemen and he’s dealing with a serious case of a senior getting killed, he surely stumbles around a lot and really doesn’t have any regard for proper investigative procedures, while also overstepping his rights as an officer. some of it is surely down to the producers/writers taking a more comedic approach to the series than i expected (shao fei pulling his gun on tang yi whenever he’s oh so slightly annoyed by not getting an answer + his feverish plans to escape from the “bad” bad guys) but i somewhat get his state of mind? 

his actions to me are not that unrealistic considering someone who has investigated a serious crime for 4 years with the additional burden of someone close being the victim of it. like we all have experienced being so stressed out that everything turns into a joke. while he has his serious moments i believe that shao fei doesn’t take a lot of things as serious as he should, because that’s the only way for him to stay as sane as possible. so all the jealousy and the bumbling around we’re getting from him is just shao fei being at the end of his wits: the most likely suspects turns out to be not the perpetrator and he catches all this feelings he shouldn’t because his approach to the investigation has become so unorthodox. i think he starts to see how both he and tang yi have suffered from what happened 4 years ago and he can’t help but sympathize and feel that tang yi might be the only person who gets him.

at the same time tang yi is suave and hard to read and seems to be dealing much better with what happened 4 years ago while also obviously trying to hide the truth shao fei so desperately wants to find. so i believe he’s starting to admire tang yi for his strength and to see the world from his point of view which totally throws him of track. once he dives into tang yi’s world he’s so out of his depth while trying to come to terms with all the feelings he’s having and the realization that he might have looked at the case the wrong way for 4 years.

so to me it’s totally understandable that he’s fumbling around and looking so inferior and awkward compared to tang yi in the latest episodes, not only because the show wants to go this comedic route but also because shao fei is at his breaking point. and we have seen how capable he can be and that he’s an excellent fighter. i hope we get to see him in action in the next few episodes because while he’s a mess when he has to deal with tang yi on an emotional level he still does well in the field when it’s about fighting and protecting people. 

what i love most about him so far is his willingness to accept that tang yi might be not as bad as he assumed (he even defends him in front of his colleagues saying that mob boss tang yi is not capable of murder) and that he goes into full protective mode when someone else tries to mess with tang yi. he’s a precious bean. and that sketch of tang yi is just begging for a whole basket of funny moments. he’s more extra than i expected and i’m living for it, especially the stuff he says to tang yi which accidentally sounds really flirty (compiling the gif evidence as we speak)

Tang Yi

what i love about tang yi is that we see his soft side early on and that i believe that the show won’t push us into an ethical pickle wherein we’re supposed to root for tang yi even though he’s a bad person. tang yi not only had a tough past which let him to become part of a gang, we never see him committing actual crimes his task is to dismantle his own organization and have everyone live a better, non-criminal life. which is something i didn’t except and makes everything so much more interesting. he obviously has some powerful enemy who was behind the incident 4 years ago, competitors in the underworld, the police at his heels and his own gang might turn against him once they find out that he’s trying to stop them from being criminals. he will find shao fei useful to some degree due to the various tasks he has to perform but shao fei also poses a great danger to him: the more he fraternizes with the police the more his own men will become suspicious of him. 

so far he’s still a big mystery so i can’t say much. i don’t know what kind of use he has for shao fei but he seems to start to like having him around while also having a reason to make him jealous and toy with his feelings. so i’m looking forward to finding out more about his motivations soon. i just hope that he won’t toy with shao fei too much and that he will fall for shao fei even before he tries to use him for his own goals (á la: i want him, but i’m a tough gangster so i’ll be fine putting my feelings aside in order to use him…oh shit i don’t have any control about my feelings).

what i love most about him so far is his suaveness and all the compliments he’s paying shao fei already (currently making a gif compilation of that). also: chris’s body is full of surprises…still not over the thumb scene.

Zhao Zi

he’s a full cutie and i believe that kenny is just the same in real life (kenny snuggling with andy in the bts gives me life!!! but how to gif things when you’re bombarded with content).

as for now it seems that shao fei acting like he’s lost his mind and disregarding any rules on procedure has affected zhao zi in a way where he doesn’t give a shit about those same rules as well.

i believe he went to the police force cause he has this dream about being a righteous protector of the people while also seeing the good in everyone and having a very romantic view on police work. i think he’s more the type to enjoy causal investigating and desk work (he loves hanging out with his colleagues)  than putting himself in danger, but there might also be a twist that his behavior is all a ploy to live through dangerous situations while keeping his cool and make people underestimate him.

he is the cutest and i love the comedy of him being easily convinced by other people (tang yi’s shop has definitely done things to him) and being a big foodie.

i’m looking forward to him being 100% oblivious to jack’s feelings and jack suffering because of it.

Jack

jack is really interesting. at the moment he’s shrouded into mystery, he’s clearly having a blast doing anything and i love that he’s already shipping shao fei and tang yi. but his cheerful demeanor is also clearly something he uses to his advantage to trick people and threaten them in the nicest way. he seems to be the most perceptive out of all of them so i put my faith in him to keep an eye out  for tang yi and shao fei while they’re busy tripping over their feelings.

as he only joined the gang a year ago or so i believe that he was explicitly hired by tang yi to help with dismantling the organization so i believe he’s not a “bad” bad guy. i love that he’s already lost it over zhao zi’s cuteness.

everyone else in the cast

i enjoy the female characters so far and every secondary characters seems to have a well-rounded background story so i’m content with the writing. i hope shao fei’s colleague won’t suffer too much and that it’s more of an admiring crush and not that serious. and while tang yi’s little sister (forgot her name, i know they’re not blood-related) tries to keep him from shao fei, i like that she has a good reason to do so and respects him not being into her. tang yi’s boy-toy is not only gorgeous but also feisty so i’m looking forward to seeing more of him, i just hope he doesn’t hold any feelings that could get hurt.

i love the police chief and his utter exasperation at everything that is shao fei while also being very protective of him. it feels like he adopted all his juniors and now reluctantly suffers through all their idiocy while secretly loving them (also making a compilation of him obviously cause what is time).

last but not least: i love, love, love tang yi’s tailor shop. such a nice choice.

[theamberfang]

Journal 291: Destress

Restored

Yesterday, I left it up to my own discretion whether or not to take another day off from any sort of commitments instead of getting back to NaNoWriMo. It was a close decision to make, but I ultimately opted to keep giving myself a break.

It’s one thing to try convincing myself that NaNoWriMo isn’t that big of a deal and I don’t need to stress out so much about writing, but it’s really different when I take the time to actually demonstrate it to myself in action. It was perfectly fine to take two intentional days off—retroactively making me feel better about the day I missed due to mounting stress. I even feel a lot better for having done it.

I’m even hesitant to call it self-indulgence, because I feel like this sort of thing is something that people need. Yes, the vast majority of people can’t just let go of any sort of responsibility or commitments for a couple of days—I’m uniquely privileged to be able to do so since I live with my parents, despite my age. I see it more as a social problem that most people aren’t given enough time to be able to take this kind of break: people really need more time off without having to sacrifice their livelihoods.

Admittedly, I struggle with mental illness, so simply trying to talk to people while also committing to self-imposed activities/challenges is enough to wear me down, but other people deal with so much more both in and out of work. Even when people aren’t working, they barely have enough time to take care of their own chores, let alone time to take a genuine break from everything.

Yet, I feel like being able to take that sort of break is literally necessary for one’s mental hygiene. People need time off to flush stress out of their system. It amounts to more than a mental thing as well: prolonged stress is a contributing cause to all sorts of physical health problems as well.

Recently, I’ve started to wonder if my anxiety around trying to get a job is related to having known this subconsciously: that a job wouldn’t allow me to have time to take breaks to destress. It might be why I’m generally so scared of being a proper adult: because it means having to put up with stress that I know I cannot handle. Unfortunately for me, I feel like I’d be more likely to be perceived as lazy than properly disabled.

Leisure

As for what I did today, it was mostly watching stuff on YouTube—notably searches for reactions to the latest episode of My Hero Academia. I’m not exactly sure why I keep doing that though; I’m so often disappointed/annoyed by people. Admittedly, some of it is petty—like, when people forgot something from past episodes or misinterpreted something—but some of it actually does get to me. Like, I ended up on a group reaction to an older episode—it showed up in my recommended feed and it was for one of the most exciting parts—and someone said “Ew!” when an explicitly trans character was on screen and speaking. Whoever was editing even took the time to zoom into the reaction!

Moving away from ranting about anime-reactions, I played a bit more of Hearthstone. A good amount of it was the new Battlegrounds, of course, but I also checked out the single-player content I had been missing out on for the past few years: the deckbuilder stuff. It was pretty neat at first, but it quickly tired me out.

Actually, I’m realizing that I think the problem I have with card games is that they quickly cause decision-fatigue for me. Even if it’s mostly subconsciously, I think I put it a considerable amount of mental effort every turn in a card game—not only in Hearthstone, but thinking back to Eternal as well. I think this fatigue combined with the addictive free-to-play design to make these sorts of games particularly bad for my general mental health. Basically, I’m thinking that I should uninstall Hearthstone and Battlenet soon.

History

Last night, after (and maybe during) writing my journal, I had quite a chat with Delta, the person I added on Discord after meeting them here. We talked a bit about games that we play/have played. I ended up focusing more on games that I had played a lot of in the past decade: Team Fortress 2, Warframe, Nuclear Throne, and some others. They also brought up how I haven’t written too much about actually playing games in my journal, which is true.

This morning, it made me think about how they probably wouldn’t know about my experience growing up with games before that. I believe I’ve written about it before, but it was likely back in the double digits of journal entries.

Some of my earliest memories were actually watching my mom play Super R-Type, Super Mario World, Tetris/Dr. Mario, and Pac-Attack on the SNES. She definitely played it more often than my father, and I think this early childhood experience made it so that I don’t associate video games with boys the way most people do. The fact that I was really into video games never played a part into my gender identity—it was only after the fact that I considered how video games were popularly a male thing.

Growing up, I mostly continued to play on Nintendo systems. I recall beating Super Mario World, Super R-Type, Donkey Kong Country, and Super Punch Out on the SNES—that last one I not only beat, but persistently kept trying to get better records on, to the point where I was manipulating the AI to make them dodge and “countering” them when the dodge ended. On the Game Boy I mostly just played Pokemon, and on the N64 I primarily remember playing Donkey Kong 64.

Honestly, I’m getting tired of trying to recount these memories, so I’ll fly through a few more notable games more quickly: Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga and Robopon 2 on the GBA; Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, Luigi’s Mansion, Metroid Prime, and Super Smash Bros. Melee on the Gamecube; and mainly just Super Smash Bros. Brawl on the Wii. (There were other things I played on the Wii, but I played so much Brawl in my university’s game room that it pushes out a lot of other things in my memory when it comes to that system.)

Of the more recent games I’ve played, if I were going by things I enjoyed the most instead of things I spent a lot of time playing, I’d have to say that I really, really enjoyed Undertale. While I still enjoy the games that I put hundreds—thousands for some—those were usually on a more intellectual level: either from trying to outplay opponents/situations or from appreciating the game design outside of playing it. Undertale was uniquely emotional for me, though Night in the Woods seems ready to join it in that department. (I’d still say Undertale has an edge in how its unique design really contributes to the emotional beats.)

Wrapping Up

Anyway, I feel ready to get back into writing for NaNoWriMo tomorrow. I’m not going to commit to any word count, but I would like to earnestly get back on track to trying to complete the challenge.

I might also have to mow the lawn though. I’m not super sure on that—I haven’t actually checked the length of the grass, but I don’t think I mowed last week. Regardless, I also need to shower.

Lastly, I want to strongly consider uninstalling Hearthstone and Battlenet. I don’t think I’m at too much risk to waste too much time with it, but I already feel like I’ve gotten everything I could want from it and I don’t want to take any chances.

Tomorrow’s Tasks

Maybe mow the lawn?; 1000

If yes, shower right after

NaNoWriMo; 1100

If I didn’t mow, shower; 1900

Journal; 2000

(Honestly, I don’t really feel like mowing regardless. I might only do it if specifically asked to.)

[jadeile-writes]

Fanfic Progress Update 38

Almost forgot to update today, oops. I’m on a trip right now, and won’t be home until Thursday, so no fics will be published in the meanwhile. Also, posting this from my cellphone (and without the app), so I have no idea if things are bolded or in italics or whatnot. Meh. Anyway, stay tuned for the end of this post for a spoiler-y glimpse into the next chapter of Adventure Gone Mini!

Current WIPs:

Adventure gone Mini

Fandom: Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild / The Minish Cap

Summary: Sidon is given his very own Sheikah Slate, the first replica Purah has managed to make, and sets out to travel with Link with the intention of registering warp points for convenient travel in the future. However, when a malfunction shrinks them down to the size of bugs, and they meet little people called the Minish, they have to change their plans from “fun adventuring” to “getting out of this mess”. Not that those two have to exclude one another. Link/Sidon.

Progress: Chapter 30 is the current latest chapter and was posted on 6th of November. Chapter 31 is about ¾ done and is scheduled for 27th of November.

I update this fic every three weeks on Wednesdays.

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Rolling with it (work name)

Fandom: Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Summary (temporary): Link is put into a tough situation while trying to communicate with Revali and finding out he doesn’t understand sign language, so he decides to roll with the punches and actually mime and show emotions this once. Turns out Revali is (slightly) less of an asshole when he understands the reason behind Link’s quietness. Link/Revali.

Progress: 3 chapters done, chapter 4 is about 3/4th done. No idea how long this will be, but definitely not as long as Mini. No progress since last update.

I intend to start posting this once Adventure Gone Mini is finished. If I decide to write the semi-planned sequel for Mini, it obviously goes before this.

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Possibly worth staying for (work name, may change)

Fandom: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Summary (temporary): A what-if of Episode 19, “Light Spinner”. Catra begs for Shadow Weaver to stay, but is as easily manipulated as ever to help her escape instead. But what if Shadow Weaver had a teensy bit of actual affection towards her after all?

Progress: This is currently drabble-sized and I could call it done and leave it open-ended, if I wanted to (or if I lose interest). But it hasn’t yet reached its full potential, so for now it’s unfinished and I’ll probably get back to it when I have the time to re-watch the rest of the episodes and watch the new ones. The aim is for this to be a oneshot, and a pretty short one at that. No progress since last update.

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No Touchy (work name, may change)

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary (temporary): Ace propagandaaargh! : D Angel Dust takes notice of the fact that Alastor is not getting laid, and figures he should be a good friend and fix the situation. Namely by seducing Alastor himself. Alastor is not amused. Angel Dust/Alastor (kinda) … this is actually not a comedy fic, not fully anyway, despite this summary. Hence why it’s a temporary one.

Progress: 2 chapters out of 3 have been written. I’ll start posting this once the last chapter is finished, and likely pace it out by posting every other day. No progress since the last update because if the fic below.

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Shit, the Radio Demon is a part of my afterlife

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary (temporary): Husk is just a regular ass demon, minding his own business and living his afterlife mostly in misery. He’s been at it for about ten years when then the Radio Demon shows up and suddenly his life becomes a lot more interesting, whether he wants it or not. Husk/Alastor, slowburn.

Progress: 3 chapters ready, fourth not started yet. I don’t yet know how long this’ll be, but it’ll need at least three more chapters before it’s anywhere near done.

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Other WIPs I’m not currently working on but intend to get back to someday:

PoE Drabbles (Pillars of Eternity)

DC Drabbles (Justice League)

Diaphanous Relations (Forgotten Realms, R.A. Salvatore’s books)

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That’s it for the WIPs! Here’s your regularly scheduled sneak peek into the next chapter of Adventure Gone Mini. It’s from the beginning of the chapter. (Note: the text may end up slightly different in the fic itself due to more editing happening before publishing). Enjoy!

“Uh, apprentice?” Sidon asked inelegantly, looking really out of his element for once. Link couldn’t blame him.

“Yes”, Mageri said, and walked over to them. He held up his hand, palm up, towards Sidon, who blinked at it uncomprehendingly a few times, until he finally, uncertainly, held out his own hand in a similar pose. Mageri grabbed a gentle hold of it with both of his own hands and examined it curiously. “Like I said, your sister was a genius. It’s unusual to manifest your powers in such a way when you’re still a child, much less learn to control them even if you do. That’s why you couldn’t learn the spell when you were the same age; you certainly have the power, but you’re not a genius. Like most people, you simply had to wait until the usual age to manifest your powers and then you need a competent teacher to show you how it’s done. Only geniuses learn practically on their own or with haphazard guidance.”

Did that make Zelda a genius? Clearly not as much of one as Mipha had apparently been, but Zelda did learn on her own in the end.

That’s it this time. See you next Saturday!