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#not really a vent but ya know
system-of-a-feather · 2 years
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Man though, our fiance's brain literally forgot what serotonin is and like, it's been getting there for the past year and he's been just kinda ignoring it, but he's been having panic attacks daily for the past like month - and good news he got the meds he needs (cause we both agree it seems mostly a neuro-chemical issue than it is a cognitive kinda thing)
But this whole thing has been really interesting cause for the past month >WE< have been the >mentally stable< party and helping in crisis states for once
And this whole thing has been a huge role reversal that has us both going "bro you LIVE like this"
Cause it's not bad enough that I'm complaining, but my boy has been maintaining this role I've been playing for 5-6 years and while its "easy" and something Im glad to be doing, I could not imagine keeping this level of attentiveness and "fucks given" for lack of better words for such a long period and I'm just like jesus christ he makes this look easy
And he's just like What the Fuck - how the fuck did they manage to do *motions to everything* when what I'm going through is a quarter of their old base line and I've had to go to urgent care for meds
And now that he's getting better thanks to meds we're just like "hey can we trade back" in a lighthearted joking manner
Cause its actually a bit of a moment of appreciation as a silverlining cause like - god the emotional labor is real being the "mentally stable" party and fucking MAD respect for him making it look easy; and on his end hes like FUCK I get it good fucking god now I understand why you are dumb about things sometimes (affectionate again)
And were just like "bro you make this shit look easy tf you live like this"
Cause now that hes a lot more stable I'm setting some time aside to have recovery ME time and I'm just like *deep breath of emotional labor exhaustion* "My avoidant attachment is not used to having to focus on someone and have attention both given and received for such long periods of time my emotional availability muscle while 100x what it used to be is still weaaakk"
I'm also glad we can functionably reverse roles like this honestly. It's a good sign of a mutual relationship and flexibility to get through issues, but good god, hope we can return to both of us doing our specialties XD
I'd literally love to just like, vampiric suck his mental illness away cause if that was possible, I'm much much much more adept and used to bearing that kind of issues but UNFORTUNATELY that is not a thing I can do :/ /lh /hj
-Riku
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angelpuns · 5 months
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Leo going through the horrors but the horrors are just that he had a shitt day and no one bothered to save him any cookies :/
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naffeclipse · 4 months
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I know it's just because I'm a tired cranky raccoon rn but I feel like everyone hates me
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Mangahood fans have a lot of little flippant ways they address 03 fans and our preferences, but I think the silliest one (and there are many to choose from) is the argument that "fans of the first anime think it's deeper than it is just because it's dark". Of course anyone who says this never delves into what exactly they think separates a shallow "darkness" versus "real" narrative depth. Not because surface-level 'dark' tones don't exist in various media, they do. But rather so much of it rests on dodging the greater focus 03 has on questions of humanity vs dehumanized subclasses, genocide, race, and imperialism that isn't treated like set dressing, and actually having the teen protags struggle and feel the weight of their terrible circumstances and actions.
But y'know. It's shallow-dark.
(Don't get me started on the same specific fans who then laud mangahood for being 'dark'.)
And I'm gonna be honest, seeing broho fans say this when their show is so desperately afraid of lasting, irrevocable consequences for their characters, AND that these same fans wouldn't like the show if the ending wasn't tooth-achingly saccharine, is like getting called an immature edgelord by these fuckers
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sketchy-tour · 6 months
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Happy Easter if yall celebrate it!!!!! Otherwise I hope yall have an absolutely fantastic Sunday!!!!
Aaaa I feel like I'm not as chatty as I once was on here. Been a bit all over the place! Also feel silly making a ton of text posts with no art so I try and limit how often I blab on here.
But just know I still appreciate all of you who follow and like my art! Every bit of interaction I still see and it still baffles me to see such kind words. It means the absolute world to me!!!! 💖💖🌻
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bubbleteapenguin · 2 years
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Clawdeen Wolf G3 Redraw
(July 2022)
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one piece is crazy fr like what do you mean you’re following up Everyone’s Dead™️ with Objectifying Women: The Arc™️
#bruh :/#im bout to vent cause im mad about it rn sorry#op fans there are many good elements to your series outside of this and i love u sorry im about to talk shit about it#pls abandon ship now and stop reading my tags to avoid if you want#anyway#once i put a certain amount of time into something i usually commit to finishing it#but this arc is like 👌 this close to making me abandon the whole series like wtf is this#i know i KNOW sexist shit is like practically unavoidable in anime but this is a LOT jesus christ#i want to punch a WALL#like wtf do you think women ARE#i want to attack and kill#everyone who has ever told me that naruto is worse than one piece about women owes me 500 dollars rn#like it’s BAD and i would have been mad about this either way#but i think im extra salty because ive had SO many people praise one piece women at me#and i was like doubtful cause ya know LOOK at them#but i LISTENED because everyone was so insistent the women are good and it’s not bad with that kinda thing#which was a BETRAYAL because seriously wtf is this😤#ughhhhh i CANT watch this HOW am i supposed to watch this#why do i have to watch the creepy island of women cluelessly mess with unconscious mans dick trope i canttttttttt#the answer is i DONT have to watch it and i want to STOP#how are yall watching this i still havent even forgiven thriller barks invisible man nami bath scene#like yall i canttttttttt#my ‘fiction that treats women like shit’ tolerance is too low for this#ughhh really at a loss here because so much time already committed and i was enjoying it aside from this#but i really CANNOT keep watching if the bar gets any lower and idk if it even CAN get lower#sorry sorry okay vent over this just#REALLY pissed me off#cause it kinda blindsided me i think
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rexscanonwife · 3 months
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Ugh idk if it's good or bad that I can recontextualize my anxiety now, I made a sandwich and spotted some suspicious white stuff on the crust and I've been deliberating and scouring the internet to find out if it's mold or flour, and for a second I thought 'wow I'm being sooo worrywart core' 😂😂😂
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childish-husk · 1 year
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good-beans · 5 months
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Thank you for the hearts anon I'm sorry that tumblr's ask system put a limit on the amount of love you sent my way
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tea-brigade · 12 days
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a fun little life update is that i hadn't seen my therapist since like april (bc i needed to save money and also we decided i didn't need to see her regularly anymore) but i needed to make an appointment recently as a lil check in as a certain situation at work has been Testing Me
and it was very very fun to quite literally be that one meme that's like. me rolling in wearing shades holding coffee and going "mallory you're not gonna fuckin BELIEVE this"
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When in depression doubt get a mug of hot chocolate
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lilgynt · 2 months
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remembered at work i’m probably gonna get abused tonight yay me
#personal#going to see a show with my mom aunt and grandma#and my mom have already argued about this show bc i asked for the future if my mom says i can come to soemthing can she ask me first#just cause i might haves plans or soemthing else going on and she cussed me out for lecturing her#it’s fine when i just can go to my room or can choose to get away#but she’s gonna drive and car rides with my mom are so bad#i always forget bc i don’t have to ride in the car with her anymore bc i have my own and a license#but they can be so bad unless she gets a phone call or starts talking about herself#but car to and from there good chance ya boy is getting quote unquote abused#i know she’s abusive/toxic but it feels so dramatic to be like my moms gonna abuse me by being mean in a car 🙄#but also i’m a 24 year old man near crying at my desk bc my moms gonna be mean to me in her car#and i thought about telling my brother to just vent but then i just remembered his last visit#and how he made fun of me (lightly to be clear) and didn’t think much of how mean mom was to me#and he always says we’re both crazy and honestly he doesn’t care and it’s fine and i’ll just save myself the hassle#the other brother were still weird#anyway blah blah blah family doesn’t like me or does and just happens. to also enjoy being kinda mean#gonna pop in an ear bud on the side she can’t see and do double time of pretending i’m spider man to cope with my issues#i think if i just focus really hard on spider man and make no real tangible changes to my life everything is gonna r#be okay :) (it will not)
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i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it
#i feel like it’s getting worse too#like its always hasn’t been great but the past few weeks have been especially bad#why can’t i remember things!! why is my short term memory sucking ass!!!!!!#like if i don’t write/type things down i loose it#making me wanna rip my hair out what the fuck is going on!!!!!#gonna start playing those phone games that improve memory or whatever#it’s either that or going to my mom for an essential oil recommendation#i know it’s probably some undiagnosed shit but im also like. i can’t keep blaming whatever is wrong with my brain because its a problem with#/me/. ya know?? like. yeah it is something with my brain. obviously. but i need to take some sort of action to fix it. and i dont know what#that action is#besides the two options i said before#or carrying a fucking notebook around and writing down everything. which is stupid also and i know won’t last a week#problem is im gonna forget about any rule i come up with since as soon as im preoccupied with something else. i’ll forget the rule#i would need a hat with the reminder on paper tapped to the hat#so it’s always dangling in front of my eyes#i don’t know what else to do at this point!!!!#it’s making me so worried about going away for college. cause yeah i did really well at community. but if i have the deteriorating memory#of a goldfish who’s constantly banging its head against the glass. how am i gonna make it through university.#i love writing essays in the tags that no one will read <3#having a ball rn. a great time. not feeling like a waste of resources at all rn. feeling great.#if my mom doesn’t let me wear my earbuds tomorrow i think ill scream#anyways. gonna bake some blueberry lemon sweet rolls tomorrow#me rambling#i love being undiagnosed#but let’s be real#being diagnosed won’t give me anything other than more of an excuse#because i can’t go on meds with my current living situation#and i also don’t really want to go on meds because i don’t trust them#feeling silly i think ill actually post this one maybe someone has a suggestion for what to do#vent
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floral-hex · 9 months
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Just canceled all of my future therapy appointments. Big fudgin’ bummer. Did I mention I lost my insurance? Didn’t even find out about that until the day it lapsed. Trying to find a way to fix it now, reapplying and whatnot, but ya know, it’s bureaucracy so who knows how long it’ll take. Just fingers crossed I don’t run out of meds first.
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lol it’s underwater 🐠
#ugggghhhhh so sad#like genuinely I think my therapist rocks#he’s the best one I’ve ever had. nice and cool but no BS and just harsh enough to push me#I feel like such a baby for saying it but literally the number one thing I’ve wanted these last few weeks was to go to therapy#I had to skip my last appointment so I haven’t seen him in weeks#between my mom’s organ transplant and driving back and forth to see her everyday and taking care of my bros aaand super suicidal birthday#I’m just… I’m tired. I want to vent. I just want to spill my guts for an hour and maybe cry a lot#and I can’t do that with anyone else. I know that’s dumb to say#I 100% can’t complain to my family because ya know I gotta be strong and they don’t need me being a burden#and I love my mutuals but I don’t know any of you anywhere well enough to feel comfortable venting#I mean. y’all can vent to me all day. I’ll gladly listen to you talk about yourselves. I’m here for it. I just can’t do it myself 😕#I’m so tired and anxious and I don’t want to really get into the self harm talk but I’ve had some serious self destructive thoughts lately#I don’t know what I’m going to do#I have to believe it’ll get better#because if I don’t believe that then… what’s the point?#also.. I’m really fucking lonely. just to throw that out there. if you can’t tell by my reblogs.#I am like desperately and ravenously lonely and full of longing#and you add that to everything else it’s just the sad little cherry on top…#now I want an ice cream sundae… mmmm….#I need 1000 hugs and to sit with someone and maybe get fucked up and complain and sit in silence and and and blegh#but that’s life. it’ll be… it’ll be whatever it is.#sorry. this is a bit too heavy for this time of morning#I’ve been sick. really bad vertigo and vomiting and I’m just wiped out and sad#but I love you stranger or at least I like you enough to be okay with you reading this#okay be safe#goodbye forever#text
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