#not ready for a relationship

[demaparbat-hp]

Damage.

Quote by @desertbcrnnobody

[catsharky]

Yeah I was right and there was no way I was getting the rest of this done without making you all wait another month or two, so I just went to the next good break point. We're officially past the halfway point with Astarion though, so not too much longer before you actually get to see Rolan again!

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[stuffielover19]

waiting on my knees for you sir

[mental-health-advice]

hiya. ive been having trouble lately. i know this guy likes me and ive told him im not ready for a relationship. for some reason i just gey anxiety of the thought of having to be in one. i get annoyed when i get texts from this guy. im dealing with depression and anxiety and i just dont see myself in a relationship. i like the thought of it but dont like in practice. especially if they're gonna wanna do sexual stuff eventually. im not sure if im ace or somewhere on the spectrum??

Hey there,

It is completely OK to not want to be in a relationship with someone, but to think about it being nice to be in one. If this guy really likes you then he will listen to you and let you tell him when you are ready to be in a relationship with him (if this is something that you would like – completely OK if you don’t as well!) 

Being in a relationship has to be a mutual decision between two people and not be one sided as it sometimes can be when one person is more dominate over the other person so the other person just goes along with the relationship in fear that if they don’t agree then they will lose that person forever. A good decent person though will be understanding of you, your needs and where you’re currently at. Not all relationships need to be based on being sexual either, this is another thing that both people need to be ready for and it’s more than OK if you start and something doesn’t feel right or you change your mind – it’s OK to say stop or no!

You mentioned that you get annoyed when this guy texts you. Can you think about why this might be, what is causing this frustration? Sometimes when we are able identify what is causing the emotion that we are feeling then we are better equipped to deal with it and come up with ways so that the emotion doesn’t bother us as much anymore.

I think that with your depression and anxiety that you are currently dealing with and suffering from, I think it’s completely normal to be feeling as you are. Remember that when you are ready to be in a relationship, you will feel OK about it and it won’t be a forced thing that you feel you must do. And if it helps, I have not really been in a relationship before due to my mental health and in fear of it having to be sexual at some point, so you are definitely not alone!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

[themisterhip]

The best antidepressant✨

[beautifullychaoticworld-blog]

hi, i saw your reply to theambitiouswoman post about not being ready for a relationship and i just wanted to say i relate to your comment so much. i’m currently trying to get out of this dynamic with a dude who i, too, have been telling him he has been smothering me and he’s just overall too clingy for me. tried to break up today actually and here we are, still in the dynamic. he just makes it very hard to do it. i just no longer want to be in this dynamic with him anymore so i’m drained. but i guess it’s my fault too bc i’m trying to be kind to his feelings, when ik if roles were reversed a dude wouldn’t hesitate to stop talking to a girl they think is clingy. ik i’m going to get out of it, i just wish it wasn’t as hard as it is for me right now. i really appreciated your comment tho bc it made me feel not alone in my feelings, so thank you

I'm happy that you feel less alone with your situation because of my comment. It's something that I experienced twice with two different guys... and it's really weird situation to be in because he's ready but I'm not... he needs to give you more time for your feelings to grow for him or he needs to make you fall in love with him (especially since you didn't choose him but he chose you instead).

It was harder for me to get rid of the first guy because he was chasing me around everywhere in the city, he was trying to manipulate me, then he was following me on Facebook and eventually started blackmailing me when I wasn't doing what he wanted and he was so angry that I had to say something like I'll call the police if you don't leave me alone. He couldn't understand when his behavior was threatening... then I changed cities and I felt a bit safer and away from him.

I did tell him I wasn't ready but then he got angry and couldn't believe it because his ex was madly in love with him, he was ready to marry me even and I had just met him... (well, I'm not his ex). He wanted a relationship fast and NOW. We were doing this on and off for a few years from summer 2016 until covid and that isolated me from him (and some other toxic friends I had) and was already in another city away from him. Obviously he got even more angry from the situation with covid and I heard that domestic abuse cases were rising during the pandemic. End of 2020 is when we last chatted and I wrote to him that I'll call the police and he went away. I think it was also bad timing (wasn't the right time for me since I had other things going on in my life) and also maybe it wasn't meant to be.

It definitely felt like he was rushing, pressuring and smothering me...

Yes exactly, if the roles were reversed and I was the one showing more interest than him he'd probably choose another girl instead or say he was interested in another girl all along, how she was better than me or he’ll talk about his exes and he’d try to make me jealous... and wouldn't care about my feelings at all.

The second guy I dumped last winter after 4 months of dating once he told me and made me realize I wasn’t ready with him too or maybe I’m not ready in general with anyone... then he was like “What really?! K. You will never hear about me again” and he blocked me on Facebook. He sounded butt-hurt though.

With the right guy that you like you would be ready... and also it has to be mutual. You would feel happy with him. It’s best to not rush anything and don’t succumb to other people’s timelines and pressures about getting into a relationship or getting married at a certain age... because everyone is different and it’s not that simple. Let it happen naturally and don’t force anything.

Hope sharing my experiences was helpful for you in some way.

[rftwfic]

Stiles, after being sent back in time 10 years and being faced with his husband Derek who now hates him again, rolling up his sleeves: I'm about to speed run this bitch.

[beebeedibapbeediboop]

" 'Something the matter postwoman? "

[lazylittledragon]

ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

[cinematicnomad]

genuinely this makes me SO excited for this storyline (xx)

[justaz]

thinking about arthur who has crazy quick reflexes and is a relatively light sleeper who woke up to the sound of someone in his room and saw merlin crouched down messing with his keys before softly asking “whatre you doing?…before breakfast?”

[hajihiko]

Thunderclouds 🌩

[fumifooms]

Dad always said I was like him

Meijack and Chilchuck Tims Dungeon Meshi, Ryoko Kui

^ 1: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 2: Bug like an angel, Mitski / 3: Woodtangle, Mary Ruefle / 4: The Third Hour of the Night, Frank Bidart / 5 & 6: FROM THE MAKERS OF "TWO-MOM ENERGY DRINK," IT'S "LET YOUR FATHER DIE ENERGY DRINK,", Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 7: Batman: Year Three (1989) / 8 & 9 : FROM THE MAKERS OF […], Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 10: Wilt, CJ the X / 11: How Do We Forgive Our Fathers, Dick Lourie / 12: Milk and honey, Rupi Kaur / 13: And My Father's Love Was Nothing Next To God's Will, Amatullah Bourdon / 14: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 15: Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong, Ocean Vuong / 16: untitled, Joan Tierney v 17: Drunk, The Living Tombstone / 18: unknown

When your father tried his best to provide for you but he worked all the time and even when he was home he was either tired or stressed and he’s always liked to get drunk to relax and cheer up. When you know he values work ethics and respectability so you grew up to be capable and quiet. And when he says you’re like him you’re sort of puzzled, does he really know you so little, or does he know himself so little? But you like the feeling of your father ruffling your hair so you accept it, and still you stand next to your mother just as silent and just as stoic as her during family gatherings. He leaves again and again and when your mother leaves him nothing changes, really. You wonder if it’s more telling that you know him better than he seems to himself or that you don’t know him as much as you wish you did, or that you don’t think about him all that much these days. Out of sight, out of mind. And he’s never really been there, even when he was there, after all.

[melandrops]

[sunnymainecoonx]

How many people witnessed softie food addict horror who needed something in his mouth or he would actively kill and turn to cannibalism 🧍‍♀️ or was that just me.... anyways honestly it was silly.. he'd maybe get along with cook horror... I just like fanon crossovers guys*sadge

Anyways canon horror is also silly(really silly. What an asshole, man)(no seriously he's actually such an asshole.. I might love him for that but-) I don't think he would get along with the others(loser)

[angxliquel]

I WIN I WIN IVE ACTUALLY NEVER LOST IN MY LIFE