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saw someone post a bingo board wayyy back but haven't seen one since so i made my own version for this new season
(if you saw the same one I did when season one came out then some of the squares are repeats because they're so good but I don't remember who it belonged to do I can't give credit)
feel free to reblog, download, and share. have fun playing!
#ghost files#if anyone does know blogs that have made one in the past please let me know!!#this one isn't a copy per say since there's plenty of differences but i did get very used to using that one for episodes#so you'll notice similarities#especially in general design#either way it is very very fun to play along during episodes if you never have#10/10 would recommend#watcher entertainment#shane madej#ryan bergara#watcher#ghost files s3
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you guys get my vision right
#i wanted to draw the sketches for at least one page but im way too tired and i def dont feel like figuring out fancy bw environments rn#anywhere theres vertical lines there should be some sort of bg like something that shows theyre in a space#also noticed i draw imesh and mat the same which kinda makes sense cause thats elias type but its also cause um. skill issue on my part#im so tired like literally about to pass out. but i will say drawing storyboards then thumbnailing is as fun as art gets#wip#nota per me meno inquietante il panel di elias più bellino
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when i think about how Bojack’s fully deserved punishment for Sarah Lynn’s death still took the form of him giving a ton of money to her worthless abusive parents who exploited her her whole life and still exploited her in death and ended up looking like innocent victims to the whole world
#bojack horseman#sarah lynn#i so so so wish that they had finished this storyline by implying that paige sinclair somehow discovered that there was something bad there#i wouldn't even have needed a conclusion per say just the implication that she noticed the step-father being a weirdo#and wanted to look into it but no. those two got a perfect happy ending#if anything things are probably better for them with sarah lynn's death (no more problem and still a ton of money) and it makes me so sad#i know this show is not about cheap happy ending but sarah lynn's piece of shit parents getting such a good deal out of death...#that's too much man
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love how breqs favorite form of communication is just looking directly at someone who just said something stupid, waiting for them to realize what they said was very stupid
#honorable mention to all the times she says “i said nothing”#like if you're actually looking for it you'll notice she says it several times per chapter#the imperial radch#ancillary justice
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REACH OUT, TOUCH FAITH
warmup doodle :>
i've been watching THE BIG O while knitting. it sure is a show. i just finished episode 21 so no spoilers, but idk man, Roger's starting to give some "gonna die for your sins" vibes
#the big o#cackle draws#(for people who don't click the link: look up the 'Personal Jesus' cover by Priest. it SLAPS)#started watching for the pathetic-looking little man#kept watching because what the happ is fuckening.#so far the show's biggest flaws are that it needed double the episode length and to not be a 'monster of the week'#it has a lot of neat stuff to say and show but it REALLY needs more time to show it without requiring A Big Monster Battle#season 2 has been noticeably more cohesive but i think another 10 or so minutes per episode would've still helped#i like it tho!! it's been fun! tho there's still a few more episodes for it to somehow disappoint me sdlfjsadl;fs
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I caved and made them real. Obverse me losing more and more motivation to draw as I made each of these back to back lol
#keese draws#oc art#oc#pmd#pokemon#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd oc#these guys are inspired by my usual pokerogue team#oh also imagine a question mark after every he/him I have the trans woman beam pointed at all of them#these are just initial concepts for the actual characters themselves now that I’ve developed the world a lil bit#but yeah these 4 were childhood friends who wanted to be in an exploration team together but had to split up for years#tart and quart both had to move away and cart ended up leaving his hometown to try and become a real adventure a few months later#cart and bart remained in contact for a few years before cart got caught up in some crime circles#he was incredibly trusting when he was younger so he got taken advantage of and ended up digging himself a deeper hole in an attempt to be#manipulative back and eventually he got scared enough that he tried to reach out to a guild and acted as a spy for them in turn for them#eventually helping to clear his name and allowing him membership#there were parts of the deal that were unfair and kind of shady but he was desperate enough to pretend he didn’t notice#after he joined he started immediately putting out listings for new team members and he fully planned on being super picky#but when two of his childhood friends applied he was over the moon about it#and immediately accepted both of them#now quart also applied because he had recently ran away from his old life and was desperate to have a new one#and he missed his old friends deeply so when he saw one of them actually managed to start building the team they all wanted to make he was#quick to apply even if he was rusty as hell on normal non contest combat#cart didn’t recognize him at first and mostly only let him have a trial run because he thought it was funny that an eevee of all things was#applying for a high level exploration team and he fully planned on telling quart off immediately afterwards#this ofc made quart very upset and angry but he didn’t try to clairify who he was because he just assumed that time had made cart into an#asshole which isn’t wrong per say but quart didn’t realize cart didn’t recognize him#it was a rough trial expedition but cart found himself actually quite impressed with quart’s slight of paw skills and his impressive biting#speed so he decided to give quart a real chance instead of a mocking one#eventually quart laughs for the first time around him and that makes cart realize who he is and that makes him feel horrible
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tagged by the lovely @whatwillyousing to choose 4 favourite charas from 4 different series for ppl to vote who is most like me!! yjh from orv, mia fey from aa, mipha from botw and n pokemon b&w
tagging @solcarow @tamaharu @warmgrey @ankhlesbian @sm1l3b0t @rosabienfuerte and anyone else who wants to do it ever
#kind of hard to choose characters. bc the thing is no one is going to say im like glados portal#yjh was easy bc i have literally never gone this crazy abt a character before. the most special in the world#but apparently i love women who die. okay#miku is. well miku doesnt have a “character” per say. but she is my friend#ive listened to miku since i was 8 miku is my friend#what else am i supposed to say. i love hollyleaf warrior cats??? i love rue princess tutu???#i am noticing patterns.#okay i changed my mind miku doesnt have enough personality to be in this poll. n from pokemon is there instead#really hard to pick an ace attorney character. mia and edgeworth and trucy and kazuma are all soso special#i couldnt put edgeworth though#bc first of all if this poll wasnt at least 50% women i would have had to have been taken out back and shot.#and second if it was zelda instead of mipha and edgeworth instead of mia it would have been an autism sweep.#which like. fair. but variety is the spice of life or so they say#elliot lore#also everyone else i like is too niche... i cant be saying the robot mia from humans. no one has watched that
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hello tungle dot net i have drunk spirits tonight for the first time in I think 2 maybe 3 years and I would like to say to you all that I love you dearly and genuinely. if we have spoken at all even in passing a guarantee that I think of you often and in high regard. if I have ever like, not responded to you or tumblr equiv of left you on read it is absolutely because I am extremely anxious as a person and also autistic as all get out and do not know how to interact with people in a socially acceptable manner. You are all beautiful incredible people and I would talk to you more if only I knew how. goodnight, and from the bottom of my heart, I love you guys
#juno.txt#tw alcohol#i'm not sure how else to tw tag as i do not generally drink or blog about it#please let me know if there is anything i should tag in future should i decide to do this again#sorry about my overly formal manner of speach. again i am autistic#and as one chuck tingle would say that is my autistic trot#and once more. i love you guys. ik I am a wee bit drunk but fr I do really love yall 💖💖💖💖💖#editing to add if i have ever ignored your tag games one million per cent its bc i straight forgor#pls continue to tag me i love to be included and also - in case you havent noticed - to talk
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#long talk in tags incoming i guess#i don't understand why people keep following me when everything i do is complaining lately#and not about dnp per se. but about how the work is done and how their team *coughs* martyn *coughs* is handling stuff#i'm just looking at all this mess and i can't agree with basically anything#everything goes against my beliefs when it comes to work organisation. customer focus and etc.#and i'm trying SO hard to mildly help for free. and i'm just getting ignored. but that's like.. basic fixing and shit#any decent company would do it and say thank you for noticing and letting us know#but not irl merch lmao#and it all feels and looks like a massive joke#and i'm so so tired to basically pay for existence of this mess#i'm rethinking a lot of tour related decisions i made. and i know the reason i made them was about travelling more than the show itself#so i don't completely regret it#i'm just so tired of being spat in the face (figuratively speaking) over and over again#and tired of no one taking their job seriously ffs#neither martyn nor dnp nor their fucking editors#and i'm doing all that not for attention or whatever. but because I really care for the words to be correct and for the fucking text..#.. to be in the middle. like idc about the credit or WHO i need to ask for it to be fixed. i just want it to be fixed#so it looks good and how it should look#like. it's not that hard to put a little care into the things you do and getting paid for#I don't understand how it became so normalized. how being a bad manager is okay if you work with a fanbase and you're a 'small company'#a small company who has more than enough money to hire people to check things btw. if only anyone cared#i'm just so so tired of caring. because apparently it's not something everyone else does.#and i can let it slide when it comes to dnp. they are not being literally hired to do it. but others..... yeah#today was a moment when i thought 'that's a perfect opportunity to leave. enough.'#but the tour is in 1.5 months and i have tickets so i can't leave lmao#what kind of joke that is? oh and i know i'm fully responsible for this mild breakdown#personal
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Interview. Interview. Oh Another interview. Interview. Interview. Guess what's next? An interview that a manager is like "Today at 2pm sound good?" which I took bc yeah, it was good...
I'm tired.
Now will ANY OF THEM ACTUALLY Call Me Back???
#taks speaks#literally woke up to an email from a place that interviewed me two days ago saying i wasn't selected for an interview#like??? What???#YOU JUST INTERVIEWED ME#there's one of them that i'm hoping for bc it has the lovely 8-5 hours. not per shift. just being open#and it's a tourist trap#that has good health benefits and gets me into other tourist traps around town For Free +3 guests max#like hello. dad can visit. bring both sisters. we're going touristing#and sea world at 50% off which is pretty damn cool#i'm gonna start harassing them daily on the phone as of wednesday#if that gas station food prep job doesn't get back#which pays a touch more with a 10% discount on GAS#BUT they're the ones who sent that weird email this morning saying i didn't make it to the interview stage which um#why? what? you talked to me twice?#I'm QUALIFIED? It's the same damn job i previously had but for a gas station. i mean come on#ugh. my lowest quality options are part time at a busier and more annoying tourist trap#or *sighs* dominos.#at least dominos gets good tips tho#everyday for like. the last week has been interviews#except yesterday which tbh i slept most of it#i need a fuckin job dude. come on#i have also created a list of managers i would rather be interviewed by#at the bottom of the list is intimidating older woman. next is slightly younger than that woman who thinks i don't look local enough#somewhere in the middle is that really chill old lady who gave me advice about chafing in the heat. great lady#and top is black man in his 20s. very chill. easy to talk to. i've been interviewed by two and the first one was younger than me#and i intimidated him. bc i knew more about interviewing laws than he did. whoops. missed out on the job but he was nice#today's though? KNEW HIS SHIT. Perfect manager. I'd want to work for him. Chill. easy to talk to and understood the laws well#...just realized the bar is that low. wow.#sadly he's the dominos guy and that job is second to last on my preferred list#i have most definitely noticed that the person interviewing you sets the daily tone for the job
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I hate panic attacks
#rant#which is to say i hate the whirlwind of specifically bad times in my life that brought them on and kept them#i hate that they trigger when i feel strong Anything#ive been trying to Dissassociate less and feel more. because feeling stuff does HELP me notice whats helping or hurting me#but like. i WISH it was about feeling joy and pleasure and excitement. maybe ill feel those eventually#but right now Any strong emotion is still ridiculously close to triggering panic attacks#im still terrified to go watch a play. because i LOVE plays and the last times ive gone for the past decade#ive had awful panic attacks because my brain clicked Love them with Intense Feeling into Panic dont breathe chest hurts Hate Urself#turns out my brain didnt just attach the trigger to fear of loud noises or fear of asking for#trigger from self hating thiught loops#it alsp clicked the trigger into: particularly notiveable romantic feelings of any kind (lile someome? have a panic attack! thatll keep u#physically incapable of getting near them! like plays! lets have you unable to breathe sobbimg hysterical so ur terrified to be trapped in#the audiience for hours! fucking hate hate hate it)#neurofeedback and emdr certainly lowered the panic attack rate per day or week to a Lesser per month situation#but im still lucky if i get thru a pa without illogivally trying to Fix it the irrational way i did when young which is hit myself#in the illogical hope if im injured enough ill be able to think again (which doesnt work its dangerous and makes the panic attack last#longer a pa just does Not let u think rationally untol its over u CANNOT try and fix it while in it and dping that makes it much worse)#if i get thru a pa without a concussion ive done much better than usual :/ i dont want any more#im so tired man. i want to go see a play!#i dont want to Try and then end up hyperventilating and crying with my brain imsisting i Need To be Dead for 2 hours#im the parking lot because it triggers when i park. or worse it triggers when i drive and i have to pull over and im trapped x place for#hours. either way i miss the play i wanted to fucking see!#i hate how panic attacks feel like a trap. not even a trap i can fight. its my own limitation. goddamn ive been fatigued ive been dying#in a hospital a few times. panic attacks feel worse to me. at least dying i can do something (eventually) to stop#altho i guess dying for hours in hospital until i got helped was similar. but ill hopefully only go thru that 1-2 more times in life#and i had like 5 panic attacks during that hospital visit since a heart rate so high like 200 cant calm down anyway
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An old man representing 'Time' emerged from a cave [...] followed by his daughter 'Truth'—an unsubtle reference to Queen Mary's motto, 'Truth the Daughter of Time'. In Truth's hands was an English translation of the Bible that had been banned during Mary's reign. When Truth presented this to the new queen, Elizabeth kissed it reverently and thanked the city for its gift. The symbolism could not have been more obvious: the reformed faith, championed by Anne and adopted by her daughter, had triumphed.
Borman, Tracy. 2023. Anne Boleyn & Elizabeth I : The Mother and Daughter Who Forever Changed British History.
#tracy borman#hmmmmm#few things i'm noticing here...#'unsubtle' + 'the symbolism could not have been more obvious' (mine proofreader's eye says: you only need one of these to make the point)#and she's not wrong; it's not. but it feels like an odd point to make. pageants like these were not *intended* to be subtle#it was not the point of them . they were intended to be obviously illustrative tableaus. that was their medium#two: the english translation of the bible was not ...quote banned unquote...in marian england...per say#they were not *printed* so. in effect. but the subject of english translations of the bible in the marian era#has a lot of complexities that are belied here#i get it; this is not primarily a book about marian government/theologians .#but im an academically rigorous quibbler. at heart
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guess who got a $2.50 raise without even asking!!!
#im not saying you need to do more than Just Enough at your work. because whatever#but it did get me this raise at least because my boss isnt an idiot and noticed how much weight i was pulling#so 😇 i get to make around $375 more now per month so swag#to clarify i DID make the meeting to discuss. but i didn't even have to bring up a number!!#he just gave me that
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I have been making progress on The-Fic-That's-Almost-Done, but, tragically, i've mostly been adding words in places that. don't actively need them. it's still a good thing, mind. i did hope to embellish those spots more. but there are still a few conspicuous holes which. need the words rather more intensely.
though, it does grant the amusing observation that the longer i work on a particular section, the more archaic and formal my language and grammar get. it's likely noticeable to a degree within my text posts, too, (i say while saying shit like "grant the amusing observation" and "noticeable to a degree". fuck, dude, i bet it is.) but it's. particularly funny to see the evolution of my paragraphs, sometimes, from the rough draft to the final (hopefully final) version.
#it's also probably noticeable within The-One-Fic-That-Is-Out but it's also fairly in-character for spock's pov so. it's to my benefit.#unfortunately for all of us this is just how i talk. a bizarre mix of Modern Tumblr Comedy Vernacular and Archaic Archduke#it throws people off sometimes and i'm always like 'i am so fucking sorry. i don't know why this is how i say things either.'#except sometimes i say 'i'm quite terribly sorry' or 'i sincerely apologize' or WORSE 'my most sincere apologies'#the origins of this habit remain unclear. i strongly suspect that it is a curse. i am unaware of any witches i may have angered however.#also fic-wise i confess that a different wip has been getting a bit more time than Almost-Done. because i can't focus my damn brain.#a tiny bit afraid at this point that if Almost-Done continues to fight me a Completely Different guy will beat it to AO3.#which is not really an issue per se but Would be embarrassing for me. like damn. it was so close. and i fucking whiffed it.#not trek
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This is kind of related to the last post I reblogged but honestly it’s funny to me how so many people are like. “Go to therapy” now and act like that solves so many problems
Yes therapy can help but I’ve been to multiple therapists who did not help. Even if they tried to, CBT did frankly fuck all for the issues (and it’s even weirder when one tried to get me to use CBT methods to… stop having ADHD symptoms…?)
Like, I have a phobia of the dark, and talking to a therapist barely helped it. The method used was to tell me the fear I felt was only perceived, but the funny thing is, it’s kind of Hard To Tell It’s Only Perceived. That’s kind of the reason it was a phobia for me
What DID help was prozac and a “welp fuck it we ball” mentality.
Like, I’m not saying therapy is bad, but I AM saying that therapy is expensive and sometimes that money can be better used than to talk to a guy who isn’t helpful. I don’t know.
Disclaimers I feel obligated to add:
- since I mentioned medication this also applies to psychiatrists some of them are god awful. I feel like that’s just a trend in medicine that a ton of professionals are god awful.
- I’m not saying CBT is inherently bad or useless. Recognizing thought patterns and changing them is helpful! I’ve just encountered it being used in ways where it wasn’t helpful which is… not great. Especially when it has a price tag attached.
#enderposting#when I say fuck it we ball I mean that as I was playing warframe and in the duviri paradox there is an enemy that I realized was NOT gonna#be good for the fear I get#now how did I deal with it?#i noticed the enemies were so fucking fast that I just went#no point in worrying because it’s not like I’m gonna be able to outrun that thing if it comes after me#also on the therapy is expensive thing: IT IS NOT COVERED UNDER UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE WHERE I AM ‼️#last person I was at was like $200 per session and I kind of gave up after the whole ADHD symptoms thing happened
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i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?
can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit
#vaugepostimg on main about an irl don’t mind me#i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to#me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited#still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said they’d lmk what day they were free#and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(it was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which would’ve inherently necessitated an irl talk#and then after all that yesterday said they actually weren’t ready which. hurted#tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so it’s not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt#and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought#that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners#bcus if i care about you i show up! and i’m understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus i’m not tryna rush ever#especially when it comes to people’s emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but#despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict i’m blunt but i’m caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people#or relationships. so i’m not saying i don’t want to still be her friend#i’m just. noticing behaviors#they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them i’m very much not and like. now that i’m on the receiving end of i#idk what to do!! i’m not gonna chase her down like they’re grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space i’m going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. i’m happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they weren’t ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it#so like. who tf knows when we’ll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all#bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting#ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel#discarded?? i’m feeling like i’m failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man i’m just feeling weird about it all#and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not i’m worth#which again. kinda wasn’t expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about#but like? i don’t want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isn’t any!!!#and i can’t deal with that! i can’t spend my life with people who aren’t going to engage with me as a person who cares about them#humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. i’m gonna stop now lol
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