#of all the great things that becoming a fan of some bands has done for me

[copia]

this is weird and overly personal but blogging about it anyway. i started a silly project at the end of may this year to exercise every single day (with small exceptions for exams etc) until the first sleep token show - idk why i chose that (i do, it was 'do it for vessel') but having a finite goal is so much easier to work towards than 'i will continue this habit for the rest of my life'. long story short i've done it and i'll continue on even though the first show has passed (do it for papa v this time?) but just saw myself in the mirror in the hotel i'm staying at for the next ritual and jdbdhjdbdj i've got some defined muscle i didn't have this time six months ago thank u vessel

[liampaynememorial]

Before saying thank you to everyone who participated and reblogged, I want to say some words too. Some words that I haven’t been able to say in my main blog because feelings aren’t my thing, and I hate being vulnerable… so I’m hiding behind this anonymous blog. So sorry, it’s going to be long and there are going to be typos, probably, sorry for that too.

Liam, I don’t even know where to start. I really can’t believe it’s been 2 weeks. Time goes too fast and too slow at the same time, and I feel like I’ve been living these past 2 weeks in a limbo of time going too fast and time going so slow. And I haven’t been able to say a proper goodbye to you yet. Not in the memorial I travelled to, not on my own, so I’ll try now.

I have many “what if?” in my personal life that I try not to get into because spirals, and you have become one now too: What if I could save him? As if I had that power, wish I had. I really wish that my support (your fans support) has been enough to save you, has been the blanket you needed, the hug you needed, whatever you needed. What if One Direction has never existed? What if things were different? And it’s so selfish of me to think that I wouldn’t be here if One Direction never existed. Because you’re not here because One Direction existed. And it’s something that is getting hard to process. I know you loved One Direction, maybe Niall was 1 directioner during the band years, but you were 1 directioner after the hiatus, and 1 supporter for your band mates, for your brothers. I know that besides everything that happened, you loved to be in that band. But what if Simon hasn’t been behind the band management? You know where I’m going… I start spiralling, I find an answer to a question, and I have a new question in mind.

I’m sad and I’m mad. And I’m in denial. I’m sad because you deserved to have a happy ending, you deserved to find your place in the world and in that industry you loved so much. You deserved to heal and to get better. You deserved to see your child growing up. You deserved to see the love. You deserved a much better ending. It’s so tragic. I have been worried about you for years, but never, not even in my worst nightmares I thought this was going to be your ending.

I’m mad at the whole industry. An industry that is full of selfish and greedy people who care more about money, numbers, and money again that they care about the artist. I’m mad at everyone in that hotel who didn’t try and who didn’t do enough. I’m mad at everyone who didn’t defend you, to everyone who bullied you, to everyone who didn’t understand what trauma and addiction can do to a person. I know a lot of people have been saying that the hate you’ve got was because of everything that was being said in early October, but it’s not true. The hate didn’t even start in 2022 after that podcast. The hate started before. The hate started during the band. The hate continued after the hiatus. The hate was always there, for stupid reasons and because of the hypocrisy of this fandom. And because of solo fans who found very funny to put you against each other and loved using the word “flop”. I hope you knew that your music was great. I hope you knew that One Direction wouldn’t have been the same without you. I hope you could know that I have a tattoo related to you, done before the tragedy, but it won’t be the only one. I hope you knew that you had talent, so much talent. I hope you knew you were enough. And loved. I’m mad at the whole world for dampening your light.

And I’m in denial. I’m in denial because you’re here, Liam. I have been a fan of you since I saw you five singing Viva La Vida in the xfactor, and in the fandom some months later. We’ve grown up together, I’m just months older than you. In all these years, 14, you were always in my screen, always in my earphones. And you’re still there, so what do you mean you’re not here? What do you mean you’re not here when I see your gifs, when I can listen to your voice, to your laugh. You know? You were also part of my final project in university, a project about One Direction. You were in so many parts of my life. You are in so many places in my life. It’s so hard to process it when I have you the same way I have always had you—on a screen and earphones. And I’m trying to think that this means that you’ll live forever. I know you’ll do. I know I won’t love anything the way I have loved this band and you all 5. The way I love this band and you all 5. You’re still here. I’ve been seeing white feathers when I was thinking about you during walks, so you’re still here.

I know my comfort place is now tainted by other emotions that aren’t joy, comfort, and love. Tainted by sadness, and anger, and pain, and what ifs. But I’ll know, or I hope, that in the future I can listen to your music— both your solo music and the band music—and feel more positive emotions than bad. I hope I can do the same watching “one direction funny moments” and no think about how it all ended. You know? I always imagined being on my 40s or 50s and going to the reunion, meeting with my mutuals (who most are friends) and dancing all night to the best songs ever.

I imagined dancing to one of One Direction songs during my wedding, wasn’t sure one. I knew I wanted to dance No Control because I wanted to do the dance with my friends who love you as much as I do, but I also was thinking about If I Could Fly piano version, or Home. I imagined so many things in my future and in so many of them, One Direction and you were my soundtrack: getting my first house and the first album played there being Midnight Memories, getting married and having your songs in the wedding, going to your solo concerts and the reunion concert, singing your songs in karaoke, talking to my kids about you and watching videos together, getting more tattoos related to One Direction, doing a tour in London visiting iconic places, doing a pyjama party with my friends that I met here and watching videos and singing together. So many moments that now I don’t know if I’ll do, because now I’m not strong enough to think about it. But I’ll hope I’ll do, because you deserve to be celebrated and honoured in a happy way too. I’ll try Liam, this is my second promise.

I’m not quite sure if I believe in afterlife, in heaven, or in reincarnation. But wherever you are, I hope you are at peace. I hope you’re receiving all this love (that you deserved to see). I hope you’re happy. I hope I’ll get to live another life where you’re part of it again. I love you, Liam. You’ll live forever, in my heart, in my mind, in my screen. I’ll keep talking about you, listening to your songs, and honouring you anyway I can. It might take some time because I need to process and heal, but I’ll do, because you deserve that. My third promise?

Sending kisses, hugs, and love to you. 💕

PS: I’ve made a first promise to you in private that I plan to keep.

[thestobingirlie]

conformity in stranger things

(as we see it through the characters of steve, dustin and eddie)

dustin meets steve while steve is already heading down his own path — he’s leaving behind ideas about high school and relationships, and figuring out who he is without them.

steve, by season two, had already become disillusioned with the idea of high school, and power struggles, and being the most popular guy in school. which is why he doesn’t react to billy’s taunts.

despite what the fandom may have you believe, steve’s seasons long arc about his struggle with conforming to the person people expect him to be is done.

don’t get me wrong, steve is still hanging onto some ideas in s2, like pretending you don’t care to get girls, and seeing nancy as different to all his other girlfriends (though i personally think that speaks more to steve’s prior relationships than the way he views woman).

and so, dustin and their friendship play a major role in steve fully moving on from the concept of ‘conforming’. steve doesn’t want to change who he is to get people to like him, or love him!

and with dustin, he doesn’t!!!

they make up dorky handshakes, and give each other advice. they talk about girls and steve teaches him how to achieve his signature hairstyle.

their relationship impacts both boys, but neither of them are conforming. it’s pretty much the exact opposite!!! despite what some fans would have you believe steve and dustin have a positive impact on each other!!!

dustin doesn’t change who he is to impress steve! he’s just as dorky as before, and in fact imparts some of that dorkiness onto steve!! steve and dustin help each other to find who they are, and figure themselves out.

on the other hand.

eddie had a negative impact on dustin.

dustin in s3 is dorky. he likes science, and school, and building great big radio towers up hills.

dustin in s4 is failing classes, treating friends like shit, his hubris is at an all time high; all aided by eddie’s high opinion of himself and ideas about conforming.

see. when eddie talks about conforming, he doesn’t really understand what he’s talking about (which is why his fans don’t either).

when he criticised people for ‘conforming’, all he’s really talking about is people being interested in things he doesn’t like. parties. band. science. basketball. he looks down on them all.

he makes snap judgments, and reduces them down to stereotypes. we literally watch him learn this on screen!!!

we literally watch as he verbally recognises that he knew nothing about steve, and yet reduced him down to his interest in basketball.

and here’s where the irony comes in. eddie is literally leading the club on conformity.

everyone in hellfire wears the exact same thing, and he makes fun of the clothes they used to wear. he seats himself on a thrown, and judges anyone that wishes to come before him before he deems them worthy to play a game. he’s not accepting all losers. he’s literally telling them they’re lesser than as he stands on tables in the cafeteria, and then fights against erica playing with them… just because he thinks she has to prove herself to him first.

that’s the point of eddie’s character!! that his whole big speech at the beginning of the season is wrong. and we literally see how he’s wrong scenes later when eddie interacts with chrissy.

people watch eddie learn and grow as a person, and then reduce his character right back down to who he was when he was first introduced.

tl;dr — if one of dustin’s relationships is about conformity, it’s his friendship with eddie, not steve. his brother dynamic with steve is about the complete opposite. about reaching across dumb nerd v jock social divides and finding a family.

in looking up to eddie, dustin has let his other interests fall to the wayside. he’s snarkier, makes fun of steve more (just like he’s been watching eddie mock jocks for months), his friendships with the rest of the party are at an all time low.

and yet. some people would have me believe this is dustin’s truest self? who gets his mormon girlfriend to hack into his school because he’s failing latin. who mocks steve for ‘wanting to be a hero’ when just the season before he was prepared to die by steve’s side.

[ghcstao3]

second time i'm putting ghost and tommy in a band just because

but them being pretty big in the underground punk scene but never straying from that local-band vibe even after they've attracted a decent following. their plan had never been to go big, just to make music, so that's what they do.

johnny's a frequenter of underground shows, and he just so happened to catch word of one when he's in manchester for whatever reason. so of course he goes, uncaring if he knows any names, because music is music, and he's just there for a good time.

when simon and tommy's band comes onto the stage, johnny is absolutely enamoured with the band. somehow it's just about everything he likes all meshed into one act, and while the frontman is energetic, and has seemingly perfected that line between professional and amateur in his sound, and the drummer and guitarist all the same—johnny's eyes are on the bassist the entire time.

his smeared eyeliner and half-obscured face, his messy hair and bloodied knuckles like he'd just come fresh from a fight before playing. his casual stance and dark eyes and—it's no wonder johnny subconsciously worms his way to the very front just to gaze up at the man from up close.

shame johnny hadn't caught the band's name when it had been announced. he feels a sudden need to follow them along all of their shows.

which, speaking of—once the set is over, johnny does the stupid thing of trying to find where the band heads off to. he'd done it once or twice before, and usually shows like this lend the acts to spend time with the crowd as a part of it at some point, so it's not... so difficult.

he doesn't end up finding the band—at least, not all of it.

because in the alley of the venue, johnny finds the bassist smoking, face now fully exposed as he brings a cigarette to his lips.

with nothing to lose but his dignity, johnny sidles up to the man as casually as he can manage, as if he hadn't just become a big fan.

"great gig," johnny says. "how long have you been playing?"

the bassist barely spares him a glance. "few years now. s'there somethin' i can help you with or what?"

his voice is a pleasant rumble in johnny's chest, as low and steady as the bass itself. his tone is indifferent, though, and johnny thinks to change that.

"only lookin' for a name." johnny shrugs, leaning perhaps a bit too close.

the bassist finally looks to him, a mild confusion written into his face. up close, his eyes are impossibly darker, voids johnny thinks he could gladly sink into.

"simon," he eventually supplies. "that it?"

johnny grins. "maybe. you have other shows coming up? haven't heard you guys before, and i have a bit of a thing for live music."

simon stares at him a moment. if johnny watched close enough—which he certainly does—he'd notice the subtle upwards quirk of simon's lips.

"we have gigs planned, yeah. you have a pen? i'll write the date for you."

johnny frowns, just a bit, before searching his person for something to write with.

the best he manages is an eyeliner pencil, but apparently it's good enough for simon to take johnny's arm to write on his skin. the drag of the pencil across his skin is harsh, though it's hardly simon's fault.

johnny watches simon's face the entire time, the lit cigarette dangling from his lips. he never once questions why he couldn't have just been told the date.

"try not to rub it," simon advises once he's finished, straightening his back and offering the pencil back to johnny. "see you around..."

"john," he says. he tucks the pencil away, never bothering to glance at his arm.

"johnny," simon decides instead, taking one last drag of his smoke before snubbing it out on the brick wall and flicking it to the ground. he brushes past johnny and disappears back inside through a door johnny hadn't previously noticed.

it isn't until much too late that johnny looks down and sees that a date had not, in fact, been written on his arm—but rather, a phone number.

cheeky bastard.

the worst part is that johnny still doesn't know the band's name.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: july 2024

full disclosure: I started out July in a bit of a mental lurch, really feeling stuck in a rut. there are a lot of reasons for that, absolutely none of which need to be shared with the general populace of tumblr dot com, but suffice to say that I was feeling listless and reading was not a high priority. I was pretty content to accept that this was going to be another month where I didn't finish a lot of books. I was too busy for most of June, and now too unfocused and bummed out in July.

and then that ended up not being the case. I think I can chalk that up to three things:

very early in the month I realized that none of the reading I had been planning on getting to was grabbing my interest at all, so I did something drastically different: picked up a YA memoir that I bought at pride on the recommendation of a bookseller. not my usual kind of reading at all, but YA is very readable and memoirs grab me fast because I'm nosy, so I figured it might be great for getting out of a rut. and boy, was I right!

Akwaeke Emezi also has a new novel out, and if you don't know then please note now that I'm a person second and an Akwaeke Emezi fan first. their newest novel was a sinister joyride, non-stop twists and turns that I couldn't put down until I saw the characters through to their bitter ends.

and, of course, over in the Dungeon Meshi manga I got to Mithrun. I've only had Mithrun for a couple of chapters, but if anything happened to him I'd kill everyone in this dungeon and then myself. even if I hadn't been able to read anything else, that would have kept me running back to the library for more Dungeon Meshi.

all of which added up to a fairly voracious appetite for books being reignited in my brain, and my second most book-heavy month of the year so far (still haven't beat May, but there's time). sick!

so - what have I been reading?

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 7-10 (Ryoko Kui, trans. Taylor Engel, 2019-2022) - mannnnn I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said elsewhere, but Dungeon Meshi is so. fucking good. the way that Kui starts to raise the stakes of the story and grow the world beyond the core band of adventurers is so conscientious and well-done, timed perfectly so it never feels like having an undercooked heap of fantasy exposition thrown at you all at once. instead everything proceeds at a perfect simmer, leaving me feeling like the frog in that pot of boiling water who didn't notice how dire things had gotten until it was very suddenly too late and I was screaming bloody murder at a book. things have gotten so dire that I'm yearning for the days when fighting a red dragon was our biggest problem - and yet, through it all, every character remains rendered with humanity and compassion, no matter how scary, dangerous, or outright alien they first appear. I'm not naming any spoilers, but I need [REDACTED] to fix shit ASAP in Vol. 11 and [SUPER REDACTED] is on my shitlist fucking forever. also Mithrun sweetie you're perfect, do as many crimes as you want.

Heart and Hand (Rebel Carter, 2019) - my romance novel of the month, as picked by my lovely patreonites! this self-published historical romance promised some messy f/m/m, following a biracial (half Black, half white) young lady, Julie Baptiste, as she responds to a marriage ad that takes her out west to the fictional town of Gold Sky, Montana. Julie's sort of a standard historical heroine - she doesn't care for the silliness of high society and vastly prefers the company of books, looking forward to becoming Gold Sky's schoolteacher - but her marriage has a twist: rather than marrying one man, she's agreed to marry two, a pair of friends who have been inseparable since they served together in the Civil War. this book is charming, for sure, but I can't help be more intrigued by what isn't there than what is, namely: are these men having sex with each other or not? Rebel? hey, Rebel? why is there no DP in this two husbands mail order bride book? that was, like, he bare minimum that I expected. for the love of god, why did those men never put both of their dicks inside Julie at the same time? why did we spend so much time on emotional conflict that could be easily resolved if anyone just talked to each other when Julie's two beautiful husbands could have been having sex in front of her? HELLO?

also, listen, this is such a nitpick, but I am FROM Montana and it feels personal: I know that the general poverty of frontier life isn't sexy, but god these people are WAY too well off. at one point Julie enjoys some fucking BANANAS, something that I goddamn assure you were not easy to come by in late 19th century Montana. a banana. as fucking if.

All Boys Aren't Blue (George M. Johnson, 2020) - as is proudly advertised on the back cover of my copy, in recent years All Boys Aren't Blue has been the second most-challenged book in America behind Maia Kobabe's Gender Queer. reading through All Boys Aren't Blue it was initially hard to see what exactly was so objectionable, until I realized that a queer Black person living their life with compassion and joy is the scariest thing some of these motherfuckers can possibly imagine. Johnson writes about their life growing up in the nexus of racism, homophobia, and masculinity with wisdom and endless compassion, directly addressing young people who may find themselves in similar positions to offer them assurance that they, too, can be okay. more than anything, All Boys Aren't Blue is a plea for young people to live their lives without fear and shame. it's a beautiful blessing of a book that I hope brings comfort to every innumerable kids who need it.

Little Rot (Akwaeke Emezi, 2024) - how do I even begin to describe Little Rot? definitely not for those who feel squeamish about sex crimes, I guess that's an important place to start. this novel starts with the breakup of a long-term Nigerian couple, Kalu and Aima, and follows both of them into a weekend that starts with drugs and sex parties and spirals increasingly out of control from there, drawing more and more characters into a complicated snarl of money and power. Little Rot has the seedy, lurid draw of an episode of SVU if SVU ever grew up and realized that cops don't do shit, reveling in the nastiest that Emezi's imagined city of New Lagos has to offer. cannot say this book is for everyone - few of Emezi's novels are - but god, it's a thrilling study in corruption.

The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader (editor Joan Nestle, 1992) - this is a massive and fascinating historical document, assembled by Nestle as part of her work with the Lesbian Herstory Archives. within this collection are letters, interviews, academic essays, poems, and transcribed oral histories from all manner of self-identified butch and femme lesbians. while some of the contributors are recognizable names in the history of American queer activism (including Pat Califa, who's a bisexual trans man now lmao), others are women who were just trying to live their lives with as much authenticity, comfort, and dignity as was possible in their time. (although, notably, the vast majority of these women are white, and all but a very few are Americans. racial and cultural diversity is not one of the collection's strong suits.)

the personal narratives span all over the twentieth century, and I was really delighted to see the very frank discussions of what would be written off as "bad representation" by a lot of queer resources today: butches overdosing on toxic masculinity and getting in messy bar brawls, femmes committing outlandish acts of adultery, lesbian sexual awakenings taking place between fairly young children, and one extremely memorable instance of a butch getting unexpectedly pregnant and decided to do a little sex work on the side since she couldn't get more pregnant than she already was. I was particularly fascinated by the many, many accounts of "second wave" self-identified lesbian feminists who tried to do away with butch/femme identities and "politically incorrect" expression of lesbian sexuality altogether (that's everything but mutual cunnilingus, btw) in pretty eerie echoes of contemporary radfem arguments. at close to 500 pages it's definitely better suited to skimming and stopping to read whatever catches your attention rather than trying to read cover to cover, but I think this is a really invaluable piece of history.

American Mermaid (Julia Langbien, 2023) - this was a novel, for sure. American Mermaid is a novel about a broke, anxious high school teacher named Penelope whose novel, also called American Mermaid, is a runaway success that gets optioned for film. Penelope quits her teaching job and moves across the country to Hollywood to work on the script with two dude bros who don't really Get what American Mermaid is about, and set to work turning Penelope's weird, unsexy female empowerment novel into an MCU-style action romp with a hot young lead. the novel's strongest when it's deep in the spirals of Penelope's frantic mind, probing the conflict between her fairly desperate need for cash (she wants to be financially independent of her conservative father, she has good reason to suspect breast cancer is in her future, she wants to start a family someday) and the artistic affront she feels at watching her story be disrespected and dismantled. where it's weaker is in the extensive chapters of the story-within-a-story; while useful for context, I straight up didn't need to read that much of Penelope's novel. and the plot overall kind of felt like it fell off the rails near the end once Langbien finishes making her point about how Hollywood sucks. it's not bad, but it's also just... fine. it's fine!

How to Taste: A Guide Discovering Flavor and Savoring Life (Mandy Naglich, 2023) - how do I put this so nicely? this book is for people who are kind of dork ass losers about food, a group that I do very much count myself as a part of. I first became acquainted with Naglich's work when she appeared on a podcast called the Sporkful, which claims that it is "not for foodies, it's for eaters." I'm a fairly devout listener, and after listening to Naglich describe her efforts to become a master cicerone (one of the world's most elite beer tasters, a distinction that is taken Very Fucking Seriously) I thought sure, whatever, that's a book I can get behind. Naglich is maybe a big more entertaining as a podcast guest than a nonfiction author. in places the book can be dry or roughly constructed in a way that suggests another pass by an editor or maybe a co-writer would have helped. and straight up, there are just weird fucking typos in this book that are like. crazy to me, I cannot believe they got through. the cheap-ass cover art also suggests this was not exactly a high budget production.

but having been very mean about it, there are a lot of extremely interesting tidbits about the world of professional tasting here! it sounds awful and you couldn't pay me to do it, but here's the cool thing: Naglich is extremely aware that what she does is insane and she knows that the average reader doesn't want to learn how to identify where a coffee bean was grown just by sniffing the bean from across a room. what she offers instead are really approachable ways to be more conscientious about how you interact with and appreciate food! and she also shares some really cool info about tasting snobbery that IS bullshit, to help you sort out the stuff that actually matters and emphasize that fun and personal taste ultimately trump any "rules." it's a very dorky book but I, personally, did have a good time.

Sex Criminals Vol 3: Three the Hard Way (Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky, 2016) - every time I read another volume of Sex Criminals I find myself thinking "man, hang on, do I ever actually like Sex Criminals? am I enjoying this?" but then I end up placing a hold on the next one. I don't know, it's charming! it's like so very VERY 2010s in its dialogue, by which I mean it's like. you know. it's giving Joss Whedon before we all found out how bad he sucked and collectively booed him. but man, I love a story that's down to get weird, and Sex Criminals is sooooo about being weird. and yet also very normal where sex is concerned! considering this is a series all about people having freaky world-altering powers that activate when they cum, sex is treated as an incredibly ordinary thing, warts and all. I like that! I like seeing that! idk, I don't need every comic to be perfect, as evidenced by the fact that I'm actively enjoying Azrael: Angel of the Bat. sometimes the vibes are just good.

[neptuneiris]

brooklyn baby (03/?)

look at us, you and i, back at it again

pairing: rockstar!aemond × fem!reader

summary: another party, a group of friends and the spin the bottle game takes you back to aemond.

word count: 9.3k

previous part • next part • series masterlist

here another chapter, long but necessary, I'm really enjoying writing this story and I hope you also like it a lot. I look forward to your comments, thanks for all the support my loves, enjoy!

warnings: alcohol, language, mention of weed.

You let out a huge sigh of frustration and instantly stop typing, close your eyes and bring your hands to the back of your neck, not understanding what the fuck is wrong with you.

Oh but you do know.

Your funny mind tells you, only making you more frustrated and angry with yourself, as it is right because you do know what exactly is wrong with you. And what's wrong with you has a name: Aemond Targaryen.

It's going to be a whole week since that kiss and what a kiss... happened. You haven't seen him again but it's all constantly replaying in your mind, unable to avoid it and unable to stop.

All this week you have been trying to distract yourself with all your college homework, this important project is an example, but you always come back to think about him.

And you don't understand why, rather why that kiss and that moment with him is affecting you so much when it was just a kiss, yes, with a handsome guy who plays in a band, but nothing more than just a kiss happened.

However... you remember perfectly the feeling of his lips against yours, his hands caressing your face and body, also the way he pressed himself against you and sent waves of pleasure to your core.

Stop it!

You scold yourself, not being able to think about it here, in the school library, not when the simple memory of how he felt against you... right now makes you feel things you shouldn't feel in this place, at all.

You grimace, giving yourself a moment, because yes, it all felt great, the kiss was amazing, the feeling, everything... but a deep part of you tells you that you shouldn't have allowed it.

Maybe you didn't fuck with him but still, you've become just another girl who like all of them, fell easily at his feet. Even after seeing him like that with one of his fans, which tells you it's not the first time he's done it and after feeling disappointed, ignoring him and so on, you still reciprocated his kiss.

You get frustrated again, telling yourself that enough is enough and go back to work, no longer wanting to think about him and that kiss, focusing and getting serious about your project.

It takes you all afternoon and a small part of the evening to finally finish and you head back to your apartment, ending another stressful week and having no more worries, so you can rest now.

You let out a long sigh of relief as the warmth of your home envelops you, feeling so good to be back here and have no more worries, as you head to the kitchen and drop your backpack on the small island, thinking about what you can prepare to eat and then go to your room and watch a TV show or movie.

"Hi," says someone suddenly behind you.

You move as fast as your body allows you and completely scared you look at your living room behind you, where very comfortably on one of your sofas sits Baela, with her phone in hand and innocently eating some strawberries, which are in fact yours because you bought them two days ago when you went to the supermarket.

"W-what..." you stare at her blankly, your heart rate being faster than normal, "What are you doing here?"

"I texted you," she says still unconcerned, raising her phone, "I told you I'd be waiting for you here."

"But..." you look at her completely confused, "How did you get in? In fact, how come you and Rhaena can come in here? I have my keys, I-I don't....

"I made them a copy about a month ago," she interrupts you to answer, still unconcerned.

"What?" you snap, confused, "How?"

She shrugs.

"I know someone. And you didn't even notice."

You continue to stare at her completely confused, then let out a long breath and continue to try to control your heart rate, the feeling of being scared still not completely gone.

"God, you almost scared me to death," you look at her serious.

"Oh how dramatic," she rolls her eyes at you, "Anyway, come here."

You continue to watch her seriously, as you reluctantly make your way over to her to take a seat on your single couch, only to have your gaze fall on your bowl of strawberries that she is eating so placidly

"And those strawberries are mine," you snap at her.

She frowns at you.

"I'll buy you more, selfish."

You continue to stare at her for a few more seconds.

"Well? What's going on?" you watch her expectantly.

"There's a frat party tomorrow, the leader is a friend of mine, his name is William."

She starts to tell you and you instantly look away from her, understanding where she's going with this, as you let out a long breath and drop your head back against the back of the couch, closing your eyes.

"I invited Jace, I told him if he wanted he could invite his cousins and he said yes, they'll be there. So go prepare another one of your sexy outfit's."

"I'm not going," you tell her instantly, with resignation.

"What?" she also says instantly with surprise and confusion, "What are you talking about? And now why not?"

"I don't want to go."

She looks at you with her mouth wide open.

"B-but... are you crazy? Your sexy guitarist will be there," she says indignantly, "This is another great opportunity for you to see him again."

"It doesn't matter, I don't want to."

"What do you mean you don't want to!?"

She exclaims to you totally confused and without understanding anything, leaving the bowl with strawberries aside to give you all her attention, while you continue firm with your words and with the decision more than taken, from now on thinking that whatever she tells you, she won't make you change your mind.

What happened with Aemond... you don't want to say it was a mistake but it shouldn't have happened either. You've already become just another one of the crowd and if you see him again, you're afraid you won't be able to stop again and you really don't want that.

You don't want to take things any further... you don't want to 'officially' become another one of the crowd if he and you... get involved in that way.

"I'm not understanding anything," Baela says frustrated, "You don't want to see him again?"

"Baela, I don't want to see him again because I don't want to become another girl in his pile," you say seriously.

"W-what?" she says more confused than before, "Wait, what do you mean? Why do you say that? Did something happen with him that you haven't told me? Because I swear I don't understand anything."

"We kissed at Jason's party," you tell her suddenly, surprising her, "And I let it happen just when earlier at the after party I saw him going into the bathroom with one of his fans."

Baela, still surprised, softens her whole face now in understanding, but still surprised, while you affirm to her with your gaze that it is true, with your disappointed and serious face.

"It just happened. I couldn't help it," you tell her frustrated, bringing your hands back to your face, "But I felt so disappointed and so... stupid," you let out a long breath, "When I saw him like that, I understood that it's not the first time he's done it and I also understood why he gave me so much attention that time in Brooklyn. And I gave him exactly what he wanted at the party and he didn't even make any effort," you place a sour look, "And who could tell him no? Of course no one."

Baela lets out a long breath, watching you sadly.

"Y/N...

"I was so naive. I should have known," you interrupt her, "He's very handsome and plays in a band, it was clear he had thousands of girls after him and now... he only wants me as a one-night stand, then he'll ignore me and I'm really not interested to go back to being just another one of the crowd."

"But..." Baela watches you intently and hopefully, "Are you sure about what you saw? Maybe you misunderstood."

"They went into the men's room together, Baela, just him and that girl," you tell her obviously, "And they didn't go in together to play cards, did they?"

Baela doesn't say anything more, she just lowers her gaze and seems to think, trying to find an explanation, when there is no clear explanation other than that. And just like you... she feels disappointed.

Aegon looks like that kind of guy, in fact he is that kind of guy, but Aemond? Even she didn't expect it, though she knows you're right, both and Rhaena as well should have known since he's absolutely handsome and can easily afford that.

And she has no idea how to defend him, so she totally understands your disappointment and that you now want to keep your distance, being the best thing, because that's what she would do too if she were in your place.

"So your love novel with the sexy guitarist is over?" she asks you sad and disappointed.

"Yeah," you mumble, "As handsome as he is, I'm not interested if things are going to be like this."

She lets out another long breath again, resigned.

"Fine, then we won't mention the sexy guitarist anymore."

You place a sad little smile.

"But at least you and Rhaena got lucky and the thing with Jace and Luke is serious."

"I wouldn't call it serious," she says thoughtfully, with a grimace, "I mean, we're not seeing anyone else but... yeah," she shrugs, "Things are getting there."

You feel happy for them, they know it, so you don't say anything else, neither does Baela and the two of you sink into a comfortable silence that is all over your apartment, while you stare at a specific spot in your living room, thinking about everything and yet nothing, while Baela continues to eat from your strawberries, also thoughtful and still feeling disappointed.

Then you start to think again about what you are going to prepare to eat and also what movies you will decide to watch, whether suspense, science fiction, love or massacre.

"Don't you want grapes?"

Baela asks you suddenly, pulling you out of your thoughts, as you see how the bowl in her lap is already empty.

"I have some in my fridge. I can pay you with them for the strawberries."

You watch her slightly amused for a moment, then let out a small laugh and nod.

Unfortunately for you, your Friday night goes by fast, where all you did was stay in bed watching a movie marathon with Baela of love being the final decision, whether it was Me Before You, Love Rosie, Midnight Sun, Two Feet Apart, also Nerve and the first Maze Runner movie.

Until you wake up, it's Saturday, Baela is gone and you actually read her message telling you that she has returned to her apartment.

You stay in bed all morning, not really doing anything important, until you get up, take a shower, make yourself a meal and go back to bed with a bowl of chips, ready to continue with the next episode of Gossip Girl.

It's the third time you're re-watching the show but you don't care.

Then you fall asleep and when the sound of your phone wakes you up, you see through your windows all the dark sky, while everything inside your room is reflected by the light of the TV and also by the New York buildings that surround you with their light windows and give that so well known nocturnal characteristic of the city.

You let out a yawn, realizing that your nap has gone on too long when you turn on your phone screen and see that it is almost nine o'clock at night

You strain your eyes and watch more closely as Baela has texted you, as have some of your classmates, but it's the weekend and you don't want to worry about anything at school right now, so you read Baela's message.

baela🐬: are you sure you don't want to come?

You frown.

You: where are you?

And she replies back instantly.

baela🐬: at will's party

And she sends you a picture of her with Rhaena and Luke, while you distinguish Jace's figure a bit off in the background, preparing a drink, while there are colored lights and a bunch of other people, so you remember him and you also remember that he must be there too.

You: have fun

But as soon as you send the message, Baela reads it and quickly responds.

baela🐬: he's not here👀

And this immediately catches your attention, frowning again and then answering and waiting for an attentive response.

You: why not?

baela🐬: everyone came except him and daeron. jace said they both decided to stay home.

You watch with your narrowed eyes the message, questioning Baela's words and not quite believing her.

You: are you lying and this is one of your plans to get him and I to see each other?

baela🐬: 🙄

baela🐬: after what you told me do you think I would do that to you?

You press your lips together, as you let out a long breath, since she is right. Baela can be very insistent but when you finally make her understand that no is no, she stops.

You: send me the address

You say finally, having made up your mind, needing to go out and have fun after such a stressful week, as if all your weeks are not the same, and then you leave your phone on the bed and get up to get ready.

You take advantage of the fact that he's not there, because then you won't have to be worrying about being in the same place as him after what happened between the two of you and you can actually have fun.

From your closet you choose an all-black dress that fits your body perfectly, with straps and comes to mid-thigh. You decide to wear it with a pair of boots without a platform since you will get tired if you wear the high platform ones. (click here)

You discard one of your jackets as you know it won't be necessary in a crowd of people so you go on to do your make-up, this time putting on a matte flesh colored lipstick and leaving your hair straight with two strands together in the middle of your head.

Once you're ready, you call for an Uber, since Baela has taken the car and not long after, you find yourself entering the party.

You spot a few of your classmates as you enter the huge house, greeting them, greeting Baela's friends that she introduced you to and even crossing paths with Jason who is with Cregan and Alysanne.

You ask for your cousins and find them near the kitchen, each one talking to their respective boy, while on your way to them you meet Aegon, although he doesn't see you, as he is sticking his tongue down the throat of a blonde girl.

You watch him slightly surprised and amused by such a scene, until you finally reach your cousins.

Rhaena pulls you into a huge hug, instantly telling you that you look amazing with a smile, to which you also say the same, also to Baela, then greeting Jace and Luke, Jace quickly offering to make you a drink.

"Have you guys been here long?" you ask them over the music.

"Not long. About an hour ago," Rhaena answers you.

"So? What's the news?"

"Nothing new, you know," Baela tells you smiling, "We were actually thinking of playing beer pong."

"Oh, great. I want to play the first round," you say instantly, ready to start enjoying the party.

Just then Jace returns with your drink, you thank him and the five of you start setting up for the game, beginning first by playing one-on-one and then two-on-two.

Laughter and excitement invades the five of you every time the ball goes in or out of the red cups, having a good time, forgetting about the outside world for a while and enjoying these moments.

Other people at the party also join in to play, making it all even more fun, Rhaena already starting to get a little drunk, as are you, though not too much.

Then the five of you decide to go dancing along with all the other people, shouting, singing and enjoying all the songs while Rhaena records and takes some pictures, while you already start to feel the alcohol taking effect a bit more, letting you get more into the moment, really enjoying it.

Until you start to get a bit left over among the four of you as Baela starts to dance very close with Jace, both in their own world, also Rhaena with Luke, both still shy but getting more and more confident.

Still it doesn't bother you, you dance alone and even join in with another group of girls dancing nearby, singing with them.

You then accompany Rhaena along with Luke back to the kitchen to hydrate a bit, you also deciding to drink water this time because of how hot the house already feels, and then Baela and Jace join in as well, the five of them taking a break.

They both offer to prepare more drinks, while you go for your fourth beer, staying a moment alone with your cousins.

"So? Has anything happened between you and Luke yet?" you ask her interested, with a small smile.

And of course, Rhaena blushes and smiles shyly.

"We kissed."

"At Jason's party?"

"Yes and also a while ago," she tells you clearly controlling her excitement, "I don't know, I feel like we're going slow but sure."

"Better that than going fast," Baela tells her, nodding in her direction.

"You go fast with Jace," you tell her amused, laughing.

"That's not true," she gets indignant, "We've only kissed."

"Oh so you didn't take him to your apartment when Jason's party was over?" you inquire, expectantly.

Immediately she looks at Rhaena completely serious and more indignant than before.

"You were the gossip?"

"I didn't say anything!" she tells her instantly, "Besides it was obvious. I slept with Y/N because there was no way I was going to sleep on your couch to listen to your sounds."

You let out a huge laugh, as Baela reluctantly takes a sip from her beer bottle.

"Well, it's true, we're going fast but we've both been clear and know what we want."

"Thank God," you nod to her then let out a long breath, putting on your thoughtful face, excited and sad at the same time, "I admired you guys," you mumble, looking out into the beyond, "I would have wanted to have the same luck."

"Oh come on, don't say that," Rhaena tells you instantly with a soft look.

"Yeah, it wasn't like….

Start to say Baela too, but she stops mid-sentence, drawing her sister's attention and yours too, while you see how she stands watching behind you completely static, surprised and a bit fearful.

You exchange confused glances with Rhaena, who stares at her sister as if she is completely mad.

"What? What's wrong?"

She tells her but Baela doesn't react, so Rhaena also looks to where she's watching and her reaction is also the same, instantly looking surprised at who knows what, annoying you because they don't say anything.

"But what the hell is wrong with you guys?"

You inquire them without understanding, confused, to follow the same gaze as both of them, watching behind you and then… now you understand.

You part your lips and watch with your eyes wide open as Daeron and Aemond make their way through the entire party, instantly drawing everyone's attention, but more so the girls specifically, beginning to feel your heart start to beat fast as you watch them.

Incredulous and confused you don't understand anything, seeing how he is here, when he wasn't supposed to come, all the memories of that almost kiss and then the kiss invading your mind instantly, also the memory of his hips pressing against you.

Fuck.

That's all you can think of as you watch him, standing there, walking among all the people in that alluring way of his, as if he owned the whole place, yet with his unconcerned look and deliberately ignoring all the girls watching him interested.

Then you look again at your cousins, who look back at you still surprised.

"What is he doing here?"

You inquire, at that moment realizing the panic that begins to invade your whole body, since you were supposed to come here because he wouldn't be here.

"How should I know?" Baela tells you instantly, looking just as worried as you, "Jace said they weren't coming, that's why I texted you."

Still panicking, you go back to watching him, still being the center of attention along with Daeron, who smiles at everyone and looks more than willing to start having a good time, while you couldn't say the same for Aemond, but still he's here.

You look away, let out a huge sigh and take a huge gulp from your beer bottle, resigned.

Aemond.

Aemond has never felt more tired in his life.

Constantly moving from one side to the other for the tour, having five-hour rehearsals during the week and on weekends attending concerts along with the after party and finishing very late to be the same routine the next day, he doesn't find time to rest properly.

He sees how his brothers and his cousins, actually nephews, do everything, they look happy, like new and he... doesn't. Rather, he feels exhausted.

It's not that he doesn't like what he does, on the contrary, he loves playing guitar and giving a good show, but he wishes that's all it would be.

Criston, his manager, insists that he must spend time with the fans, since after all they are the reason why they are successful and can play their concerts, but he, not that he is ungrateful, in fact he does spend time with them… but to a certain point.

He can take pictures and sign his autograph in a pleased and calm way, also receive gifts like necklaces or bracelets from them, he really appreciates those gestures. But when the girls get too intense and start touching him, also invading his personal space too much… that's when the discomfort begins.

He understands that they feel very excited, but there are limits and many of them do not respect them by wanting to act as if they have known him all their lives and believe they have a certain right over him.

Also social media, if it were up to him, he wouldn't have it, he really doesn't like it and prefers the real world. But Criston insisted that he do it for the band, agreeing to at least have Instagram account.

He got used to it soon after by posting promotional photos, whether it was of a new single, a new music video or a new album, also from the tour. Then he only started posting behind-the-scenes photos of his brothers and nephews, also of the cities he was traveling to, but nothing else.

Also the invasion of his privacy by fans was something he didn't like at all, however, like his brothers and nephews, he had to learn to deal with it.

Sometimes he thinks about what would have happened if he had decided to go to college, definitely another story of his life would be, but honestly… he can't imagine himself not being this, a musician.

However, he didn't think that following Aegon's idea about forming a band would be so heavy and bring so much questioning about his life and what he does.

At least the tour ends in New York after having traveled half the country, where his mother and family live, also where he has his own apartment, just like Aegon.

And the first two concerts are in Queens, then they will play in three different clubs in Brooklyn and finally they will play two more concerts in Manhattan.

There is nothing new, only the public reacts differently when the dates of the last concerts start, Queens actually being very quiet and more pleasant for him, but not for Aegon, who complained about the lack of excitement from the fans and that the girls practically didn't jump on him.

And of course, Jace and Daeron had to agree with him.

Then Brooklyn, the first concert being exactly what Aegon expected, all the girls screaming, lots of energy in the audience and on stage, lots of noise and a whole scandal.

And the second concert is the same, until finally something interesting happens at the after party when he almost makes that fan lose her balance and doesn't jump the second she sees him walk out of that room, being you.

Aemond was so used to any girl practically jumping on him and doing everything to get his attention, but not you. And he knew because you're not really a fan.

But still, you surprised him by the way you are.

He was surprised that you were somehow understandable to him to be hiding from the fans for a while and that you didn't judge him, also that you weren't playing dumb to get his attention, that you didn't instantly react to him after he decided to push you a little, you just were honest at all times and gave him his space.

And you got his attention a lot in just a matter of moments. And Aemond in that instant knew… he wanted, no, he needed to see you again.

He had never given free tickets to anyone before, you just happened to be an exception, in fact he didn't have permission to do that, but he didn't care and luckily no one noticed, least of all Criston.

He really wanted you to take something from the concert back home, so he genuinely didn't make you both go into that room to take advantage of the fact that you were both alone and get something more from you, no, he really did it out of kindness.

But as the seconds passed and the conversation extended, he couldn't help but think what it would feel like to kiss you, to feel you, to touch you. And when he saw that you also began to respond in the same way, that's when he decided to make the move.

It would have happened, had it not been for Aegon, of course.

After you thanked him and left embarrassed, Aegon gave him a friendly tap on the shoulder, telling him that had he known, he wouldn't have interrupted him, but that Criston was going to go mad if he didn't go out and talk to the fans.

In the days that followed he never stopped thinking about you, much less when he found out that Jace and Luke were texting your cousins, so he was looking forward, even if he didn't realize it, to the concert in Manhattan.

But what a great disappointment he felt when he saw your cousins, but not you.

Originally he didn't plan to find out what had happened to you, but when he was at the bar with your cousins, he couldn't contain himself any longer and asked them both where you were.

After that, the stress came back.

With the last concert coming up, the whole band had to rehearse longer hours than usual every day until the day of the concert, Aegon insisting that he wanted everything to be perfect, following Criston's idea, as it had to be unforgettable.

They were going to take a break for a month, then they would play more concerts in New York and in the closest surrounding areas of the state such as Pennsylvania, Maryland, New Jersey, Connecticut, Rhode Island and Massachusetts.

Aemond tried not to think about you anymore, because after you didn't go to the concert, he began to understand that he would probably never see you again.

Then the last concert started and all the pressure he had on him he felt more at that moment, knowing perfectly well that he couldn't make a mistake, focusing all the time on his notes and especially on his solos.

He couldn't relax, not even with the cigarette, keeping in mind that after this he would have to focus on the fans, when all he wanted was to finally rest and not worry about more concerts, feeling very tired.

That's why he did what he did.

After spending only a few minutes with the fans, returning to the room, he had to leave almost immediately on Criston's orders, but on his way out he saw a very excited fan already at the door asking him for a picture.

It was enough to observe her from head to toe and then tell her to follow him, going directly to the men's room where the girl did not even ask a question since it was quite clear the intention and she did not say no either.

When was the last time he had done this? At the last concert in Portland, Oregon.

He knew Aegon did it too, but he wasn't more frequent than he was, since he only did it when he felt the need too much due to stress and frustration, as in those moments.

He fucked her from behind, fast and hard, not needing foreplay as she was completely wet. He didn't touch her except from the waist and nothing else, she wanted to kiss him and touch him but he didn't let her. He just needed to release.

Neither of them needed to take off their clothes either, she had a skirt on and that made everything faster, just like he wanted. Then he came out of the bathroom first after cleaning up, telling the girl to get out of here without anyone seeing her, to go back to the center of the pub, where he met Aegon.

When then he saw you.

Surprise came over him completely, definitely not expecting to see you, barely realizing that you had seen the concert and that you had been here the whole time.

And after you made no move to approach him, completely ignoring his gaze on you and also as if he wasn't in the same place as you, he understood that you knew what he had done.

You had seen him and he couldn't help but get more frustrated about it.

The boys had mentioned a party, Jace most of all, saying that Baela, your cousin, had invited them. He had from the beginning thought about not going and in fact wasn't going to, but after seeing you… he decided to join in as well.

Throughout the party it became clearer to him that you had definitely seen him and so you continued to ignore him, which made him frustrated but he also understood you.

However, had he known you were there, the first thing he would have done was to try to get close to you and what he did with that girl he would never have considered.

Until finally things turn out in his favor on that balcony.

From the beginning he told himself that he wasn't going to ruin this opportunity to talk to you by being left alone and that he wasn't going to bring up the subject so as not to make you feel uncomfortable by his actions… unless you decided to talk about it.

And he thought the two of you would just talk and nothing more, but the moment he started testing the waters just out of curiosity and also because he wanted to, of course, you started responding in the same way, just like in Brooklyn and he felt very lucky to finally feel your lips against his.

What came next was not intentional, but his emotions began to make him let himself go and you were very responsive at all times to his touch, only driving him crazier.

He enjoyed the moment and very much, loving every second of it, of feeling your lips, your body, your hands on his face and neck, everything, only leaving him wanting more when the moment was interrupted.

But you looked absolutely beautiful with that look of desire, your red, swollen lips, watching him with that slight glow in your eyes, the lights of the huge buildings illuminating both of them, you.

And Aemond at that moment only felt more the need to see you again.

Unfortunately nothing more happened between you and him that night, both of you couldn't be together anymore because afterwards Luke and Daeron started feeling sick from all the drinking, Daeron especially started throwing up in the bathroom and could barely stand up by himself.

Aemond had to take care of him and they left the party.

Afterwards neither he nor you tried to communicate after what happened, he mostly didn't do it so as not to overwhelm you and not to make you feel pressured, so he preferred to give you your space until you had processed what happened and that you wouldn't consider him an intense for wanting to see you again.

But how he wanted to see you again and he understood that he wouldn't until his nephews and your cousins planned something. However, when Jace told them about a frat party, he told you that Baela didn't mention you when he asked her with whom she was going.

So he decided not to go and went to visit his mother, who has her own apartment also on the Upper East Side and Daeron lives with her, however, because his little brother was grounded after his mother saw him in that state last time, he managed to convince her to lift his grounding.

And now they're both there, in the living room, as their mother prepares to go to a dinner party for her work and Daeron insists that he take him to that party.

"We won't say anything to Mom, she says I'm still too young to go to frat parties."

"And she's right," he replies, disinterested.

"Oh come on, the party last time was a frat party."

"It was in an apartment, not a house," he clarifies.

"But it was still a college party!"

"Then you must not have had too much to drink and that's why I don't want to go to this party if I'm going to have to babysit you afterwards," he tells him seriously.

"Oh, what a bullshit," he tells him indignantly, "We both know and in fact everyone knows that you don't want to go to that party because your girl from the other night won't go."

"Keep messing with me and I'm not taking you to any more parties," he warns him.

"But you don't want to take me to this one!" he tells him again indignantly, "Come on dude, I really want to go."

"Then go," he says confused, "I don't understand why you want me to go with you."

"And how am I supposed to go by myself? Flying?"

He lets out a long breath, starting to get irritated.

"I already told you no, Daeron."

"Please."

"No."

"Please!"

"No."

"But…

"No."

"Dude…

"No."

"Let's go to the party and I won't tell Criston that you gave free tickets to that girl and Jace and Luke's girls."

Then Aemond's gaze immediately refocuses on Daeron, who crosses his arms and watches him expectantly, completely serious and more than willing with his threat.

"The others didn't notice but I did," he lets him know, smiling with superiority, "Those tickets were for some friends of Criston's and he asked me to take them to him. And what a coincidence that they were gone right after you and Aegon left the room."

"It could have been Aegon," he tells her serious.

"Aegon loses his own things because he doesn't remember where he put them and you think he's going to know where those tickets were kept?" he asks her confused.

Aemond lets out a long sigh, as he looks away from him, looking clearly annoyed.

"You fucking little demon."

Reader.

The bottle game and seven minutes in paradise.

That's what everyone wants to play, being Baela's idea mainly, while she insists you to join, telling you it will be fun, while all the participants, Cregan, Jason, Alysanne, Rhaena, Luke and Jace of course, also the leader of the fraternity and Baela's friend William, wait in his room.

But you really don't like that game, the last time you played that, already many months ago also at a party, it wasn't very nice.

"Come on," Baela insists you pleadingly for what you think is the eleventh time.

"I told you, I'll be there with you but I'm not going to play," you tell her tired.

"That's not the point. You have to play, come on," she insists again.

"Baela," you look at her irritated.

"And I promise I won't sneak back into your apartment. Let alone steal food from you again," she says instantly, hopefully.

And at this you raise one of your eyebrows in her direction, expectantly.

"And will you give me the copy you clandestinely took from my key?"

She rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, whatever. It's at my house, I'll give it to you later."

"Are you sure about that?" you inquire with an obvious look.

At this she doesn't say or do anything to you, as you point to her bag with your gaze and then extend your hand, gesturing to her with your fingers, clearly waiting, while Baela is left with no other choice.

She lets out a resigned and irritated sigh, then reluctantly from her purse she pulls out the key to your apartment, handing it to you in the same manner.

"There. Happy?"

You smile pleased, putting it in your purse.

"Yes, very," you tease.

"Okay, now come on," she insists, taking you by the arm.

"Wait, the brownie."

You head over to the island in the huge kitchen, grabbing a brownie from a clear box right there.

"You're really going to eat that?" she asks you curiously, with a small smile, as she crosses her arms.

"It's not for me, it's…

"Hello ladies!"

Three platinum heads approach you, this immediately catching your attention, feeling incredibly nervous the second you see it's Aemond, already watching you.

You bite your lips and avert your gaze instantly, trying not to look nervous and not letting those thoughts from before invade you, focusing on Aegon and Daeron, but Aegon more so since he pretty much always speaks for everyone.

"Y/N!" he exclaims in surprise, with a huge grin, "I hadn't seen you. I thought you hadn't come."

"You were busy when I arrived," you tell him with a nervous little smile.

"I was?" he says confused and you nod, "I don't remember. Anyway, what are you two doing? My little cousins weren't with you?"

"They're upstairs, we're going to play spin the bottle and seven minutes in paradise, do you want to join?"

Baela asks them instantly, turning to the three of them with a smile, while you quickly look at her almost wanting to murder her at that moment, but you stay neutral and wait for him to say no.

"Yeah, sure," Daeron says instantly.

"I'm in," Aegon assures you as well, sliding over to you, pointing his index finger at the brownie in your hand, "Are you going to eat that? Because it's calling me."

"They're of weed," you clarify to him.

"Weed?" he repeats in surprise, "Wow Y/N, I didn't think you were that kind of girl," he tells you as he crosses his arms and watches you with a half smile.

"It's not for me, it's for Cregan, he asked for it," you tell him amused.

"Cregan?" he instantly inquires, "Cregan Stark, my man? He's here too?"

"I thought you saw him when you arrived," Baela tells her confused, "He's up there too, he's going to play with us."

"And why didn't you say that before? Then let's go!" he says instantly, grabbing Daeron by the shoulder and starting to hurry out of the kitchen towards the stairs, when he stops to turn back to you, "Give it to me, I'll give it to him," he takes the brownie from your hand and resumes his walk, "Hurry up," he urges you all, then asks Baela which room exactly everyone is in.

You watch as Aemond nonchalantly follows them, for which you curse internally, since you thought he wouldn't participate in this, he doesn't seem like the type of guy who chooses to play those kinds of games, but you have no choice.

Once you reach William's room, which is gigantic, Baela announces that she has found more players and everyone starts to take a seat on the couches, while you watch as Aegon greets Cregan very happily and he greets him as well, as if the two haven't seen each other in years, handing him the brownie.

Then Rhaena stands in the center, empty bottle in hand, setting it down on top of a small table that is also in the center.

"Well, I think we all know how this is played by now."

"Are there any rules?" asks Jace.

"Of course there are, without them this wouldn't be fun."

You let out a long sigh, looking away, already wanting to get out of here.

"We made a deal," Baela suddenly says to you, instantly, quietly and as if she had read your thoughts.

"I know," you mutter back, watching her irritated.

But she smiles happily and you all turn your attention to Rhaena.

"This will be truth or dare, if you choose dare it will be to go in with someone in the bathroom who will also choose the bottle for seven minutes. If you want to do your dirty things, we will play loud music and turn it off when the seven minutes are up," she makes it clear, "The thing is, you have three lives, so to speak. If you choose true every time the bottle points at you, by the fourth time it will be dare."

"Understood."

"And no one can cheat or refuse," your cousin makes clear.

"This is like the mafia, once you're in, you don't get out," Aegon says.

You stir uncomfortably, avoiding looking at a certain person in front of you, because you perfectly feel his stare on you, making you feel nervous but not only because of that, also because you're both here, playing games.

What are the chances that you will have to fulfill the dare with Aemond?

You probably would have wanted it before, but now that you've made your decision, you continue to stand firm with it, really not wanting such a thing to happen or you won't have the slightest idea what to do.

The circle starts at one corner with Aegon, then Cregan, Alysanne, Rhaena, Aemond, Daeron, Luke, then Jace, Baela, you, Jason, William and then two of William's friends that you don't know.

Then Rhaena spins the bottle and the game begins.

First everyone chooses truth, starting cool, so it's their turn to answer questions such as; "the craziest place you've ever had sex," "your favorite position," "at what age did you lose your virginity," "do you have a fetish or any sexual preference," "have you ever been or had a friend with benefits," "have you ever faked an orgasm, "have you ever participated in a threesome?"

Those and more sexual and uncomfortable questions are asked.

So far, the bottle has not pointed to you, nor to Baela, nor to Aemond nor to Luke.

Until Cregan is the first to dare to say dare, then the bottle points at Alysanne, to the surprise of many who know that there is something more between them than just a friendship, as they always say.

As Rhaena said, William plays music on his Alexa at full volume or at least loud enough for no one to hear anything. And you again try to ignore Aemond's gaze on you as you talk to Jason next to you.

Then the seven minutes are up and when they both come out of the bathroom, they look presentable, but everyone instantly mocks and Alysanne embarrasses herself, giving herself away.

The game goes on and Aegon also dares in saying dare and the bottle is pointed at one of William's friends. And when the seven minutes are up, Aegon doesn't even bother to dissimulate that something definitely happened between them.

When then the bottle points at you, making everyone in the circle watch you and luckily you still have your three lives.

And who will ask you? Unfortunately Aegon.

"Have you ever kissed any of us here?"

Fuck.

You curse internally again, while everyone watches you attentively and more than interested, except Baela, Rhaena and of course him, because they already know.

You sense that Aegon knows too, though maybe Daeron, Jace and Luke don't, but who knows. So there's no point in lying, much less when that person is here.

Inevitably you watch him for a few short seconds, seeing how he watches you intently, bringing the beer bottle to his lips without taking his gaze away from you, looking so sexy.

No, don't think that!

"Yes," you say casually, lowering your gaze.

"Who?" asks Cregan, interested and with a smile.

"Just a question," Baela jumps to your rescue.

"Oh come on, you're just leaving us with the intrigue," he complains indignantly.

The bottle spins again, feeling more of Aemond's gaze on you, but you don't return it, when it's Daeron's turn to do the dare and he enters the bathroom with the same girl who entered with Aegon earlier, only when they both come out, you notice nothing happened.

Then the bottle points at Jace, having to do the dare as well, but the bottle points at Jason and everyone laughs, so with no choice, they both go into the bathroom together and when the seven minutes are up, they both pretend to wipe the saliva off their lips.

It's not until later that it's Baela's turn to meet the challenge and Jace finally gets his wish to go into the bathroom with her. Then it's William's other friend's turn to do the dare and the bottle points at Luke.

It is clear that when they both leave the bathroom, nothing happened and so the game continues, until luck has its way and it is Daeron's turn to go into the bathroom with the same girl Luke went in with, then Luke goes in with Rhaena and then it is William's turn to go in with you.

Nothing happens, they both just talk, not being at all awkward, as he is actually very nice, but still when they both come out, most of them make teasing and he clarifies that nothing happened, while all the time you feel the burning gaze of him.

Then Rhaena spins the bottle again and it finally lands on Aemond, with Alysanne being the one to ask him.

"Which of us here would you kiss?"

You lower your gaze instantly, biting your lips, not daring to look at him, not having the slightest idea why but you don't understand why the questions are precisely about kissing just when he and you have already kissed.

Aemond's answer is not immediately heard and you continue to stare at your lap, while everyone else around you watches him attentively and expectantly, wanting to hear his answer, when you feel his penetrating gaze on you.

Honestly you wouldn't be surprised if he didn't say your name, maybe he would want to save you both embarrassment and you would understand perfectly if he says the name of some of William's friends. Besides, the kiss has already happened, you find no reason why he-.

"Y/N."

In an instant you raise your gaze towards him, your breath catching at that moment, causing the little giggles and looks of surprise from everyone in silence, even from your cousins, definitely not expecting that, while you continue to watch him attentively, not having expected that either.

But he continues to stand firm with his answer, which in fact he said it completely nonchalantly, as if it was no big deal to hide, being honest and direct without any problem.

He takes his last sip from his beer bottle, watching you back, just as attentive as you are, only making you feel more surprised and nervous, not having the slightest idea how to react.

You look away from him, when Aegon says to continue, breaking the moment but still feeling the tension.

As the game continues, no one has a chance to avoid the dare anymore, neither do you and Aemond, where fortunately nothing more happened between the two of you. Until the bottle again points to Aemond, but now he must do the dare.

Rhaena spins the bottle and just as it begins to slow down, everyone sees it point at the girl Daeron had entered with earlier.

With a disinterested and even bored look, Aemond without much emotion gets up and heads to the bathroom, with the girl following him instantly, while Baela gives you a look but you continue as usual, when inside you are very attentive.

You don't know exactly how you feel as the seven minutes begin, but you continue to act normal, feeling Aegon's gaze on you as well.

When the time ends and Aemond opens the door the second William stops the music, walking out of there with the girl walking out behind him, looking a bit… disappointed?

And sure enough, nothing happened between the two of them, causing Baela to give you a gentle, sly nudge, while you continue to act nonchalant, when in fact you occasionally watch Aemond intently.

"This is the last round," Rhaena warns, "We all have to point the bottle and do the dare one last time. Whoever you have already pointed at, will go out of the circle so that the bottle will point at those who have not yet."

"Sounds perfect to me," says Aegon, visibly excited, "I want my turn with Cregan."

"Hey!"

Everyone laughs, as Cregan gives you a friendly tap on the shoulder, as you both laugh and look amused, and then Rhaena spins the bottle and officially starts the last round.

You thought you would have a little more time, however, everyone watches perfectly as the bottle slowly points in your direction, while you let out a long breath and Rhaena excitedly spins it again to see who you will get to enter the bathroom with.

What are the chances that you will have to fulfill the dare with Aemond?

You had wondered before and at that moment you realize that the chances were very high, since the bottle is pointing at him.

The others don't even give you time to react, they quickly insist you get up, as well as him, all looking very excited and unable to wait, so very soon, you already find yourself entering the bathroom while Aemond closes the door behind him.

Holy shit.

You think, feeling completely nervous, as you lean back against the hand wash and he leans against the wall in front of you to hear the music out there playing perfectly.

He watches you, but you don't look back at him, feeling very nervous and also very embarrassed after what happened out there and not only because of the questions you both were asked, but also because of the kiss.

How am I supposed to act with him after that happened?

You wonder, nervous and stirring in your place, feeling the bathroom too small and his gaze on you making you feel hot already and the seven minutes have barely started.

This whole not having anything to do with him thing is definitely not working for you. And just like last time, he's the first to break the silence between the two of you.

"Did I do something wrong?"

And this immediately catches your attention, watching him instantly, while he is already watching you between attentive and curious, trying not to let his gaze make you even more nervous.

"What?" you say confused, "No."

"Then why are you acting like I'm not in the same place as you?"

Shit.

You think, definitely feeling more nervous, unable to help yourself.

"No," you shake your head, "No, I-I don't….

"Is it because of the kiss?"

You look at him slightly surprised, parting your lips, also not expecting him to ask you that with such a naturally and casually, realizing how incredibly direct he is, getting straight to the point.

And you don't know if that terrifies you or you like it more.

But you can't answer, you're too nervous, he makes you too nervous and you don't want to tell him yes, that's why and also because you don't want to be another girl of the crowd, but you can't lie to him either, even if you wanted to you can't think of anything.

Being in these circumstances with him does not help you at all.

When he sees that you don't answer him anything, he takes a step towards you, letting out a sigh and you immediately look at him alert, nervous and try to take more distance between you, feeling like your heart will jump out of your chest at any moment.

And he notices all this, confused by your behavior.

"What? What's wrong?" he asks you softly and attentive, "Are you afraid of me?"

You lower your gaze, biting the inside of your cheek, nervous and thoughtful, wanting to end this once and for all, telling yourself that you better be honest and direct with him, too, now, just as he is being honest and direct with you.

And finally you tell him, in a low voice, without looking at him.

"I don't want to be another one of your girls in the crowd, Aemond."

He looks at you slightly surprised, his lips parted, definitely not expecting that, creating again that silence between the two of you, while you continue with your gaze down and he doesn't know what to say to you, for the first time being at a loss for words.

He understands what you're implying, about him and that girl at the after party, but what he didn't expect was to hear those words from you.

And you, plucking up your courage, watch him and decide to explain further.

"I saw you at the after party of your last concert with that girl," you tell him softly and with a certain disappointed tone, "That's why I didn't try to approach you that night after understanding that that's what you're looking for from me."

He opens his mouth instantly to retort, but you continue speaking, wanting to make everything clear to him.

"Until the balcony thing happened at Jason's party and…. I don't regret it," you clarify, "But I feel like it shouldn't have happened," you look at him nervous, "I-I don't want to be another one-night stand girl that you throw away, ignore and forget about, I… I'm not looking for that," you deny, "It feels awful."

Aemond continues to watch you attentively, without you and him saying anything else, that silence returning, when he lets out another sigh and you are alerted when he moves closer to you again, this time completely shortening the distance between the two of you.

And you watch intently and nervously as he places both hands on your waist, pulling you closer to him, closing his eye and resting his forehead with yours, making you melt under his touch but not enough to allow it.

"Aemond," you call him softly, gently trying to pull away from him.

"Listen to me," he says softly, not pulling away and tightening his grip on your waist.

You stop putting up resistance, watching him completely attentively, as he takes a moment before speaking, enjoying your closeness, which is all he's thought about since that kiss happened.

"I'm sorry you saw me that way," he tells you sincerely, "Had I known you were there, I wouldn't have done it."

You can't help but feel absurd.

"Oh come on."

"I mean it," he tells you instantly, insistent, "I know it's not justification but I thought I'd never see you again, it's not like I do it every day either, I promise," he assures you, "But ever since that kiss happened… I haven't stopped thinking about you Y/N, not for a second," he confesses to you, "Even you were the reason I decided to play this shit, just so I could be close to you."

Oh no, you're already falling.

Your mind says to you, as you give him your full attention.

"But I'm not…

"You won't be," he interrupts you, firm, "You won't be just another one of the crowd. Believe me that was never my intention since I met you."

You swallow hard, still watching him not entirely convinced.

"And how am I supposed to believe that?"

"Let me prove it to you," he tells you instantly, willing, "Stop ignoring me, start talking to me and you'll see."

He says to then raise one of his hands, place it on your cheek gently and lean in to kiss you.

taglist fic:

@melsunshine @fan-goddess @toodlesxcuddles @helaenaluvr @at-a-rax-ia @iloveallmyboys @nockerin @manonmccrory @tsujifreya @persephonerinyes @happinessinthebeing @zenka69 @diannnnsss @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @gloryekaterina @strangersunghoon @ttkttt

[danishphoner]

The Last Shadow Puppets: ‘We've become aware of our vocal harmony, it's a magical thing’ | La Vanguardia | June 2016

Eight years after their first album, the British band present their second album at Primavera Sound 2016

The Last Shadow Puppets have visited Barcelona these days to perform at Primavera Sound 2016, in what has become the band's first performance in Spain. Alex Turner (Arctic Monkeys) and Miles Kane presented their recent album ‘Everything You've Come To Expect’, an album whose cover is dedicated to the singer Tina Turner, featuring a photograph taken in 1969 in New York by Jack Robinson.

The new album, recorded in 2015 in a Californian studio, arrives eight years after the release of their first album, ‘The Age Of Understatement’, and with Turner and Kane's desire to work together once again.

To warm up the engines, at the beginning of 2016, The Last Shadow Puppets released their new album's first single, ‘Bad Habits’, a song full of soul music and with traces of retro rock that has preceded the official release of the eleven singles that make up the British band's new album. 'Everything You've Come To Expect' has reached the number one position in the UK and Belgium, and the 83rd position on the American chart Billboard.

Alex Turner and Miles Kane meet us a few hours before their performance at Primavera Sound, in Barcelona.

Written by David Palacios June 4, 2016

Translation below

Is this your first time in Barcelona?

No, we've been here before on vacations. We like the city.

Your latest album, ‘Everything You've Come To Expect’, was released on 1 April and has hit the top of the charts. How do you feel about it?

We're delighted to have had so much success. On the other hand, we're not too used to it, because it's only our second album. We're really enjoying our most recent work, and all the concerts we've played so far have been great.

It's been eight years between your first and second album...

Yes, we both have been working on other projects in the meantime, but a chance to work together again came up. It was too valuable an opportunity to let it pass, and we've always been interested in working together.

And are you pleased with it?

Yes, very much so. We're very happy to share a project together. We've become aware of our vocal harmony, and it's a magical thing when we sing together. It is like we're brothers.

How was the recording of the latest album?

First, we recorded songs like ‘Used To Be My Girl’, ‘Bad Habits’ or ‘Aviation’, which is the first single of our new album, and every time we recorded new singles, we were excited about it.

Has it been a gift to your fans after so many years?

I don't think our album is a gift to them, it would be a bit arrogant if we went to each one of them to thank them. People already saw that, on the first album, there was a connection between the two of us, and they fell in love with our music. We knew that the first album was some kind of appetizer for what was coming next.

How is the promotion of the album going?

We're doing a lot more gigs with this album than we did with the first one. I believe that with the first album, for example, we didn't get to visit Spain. At the moment, we've done two shows in the US, and we're going to play at some festivals as well. We're really looking forward to it.

Your first album was heavily inspired by the music style of the 60s. Is the latest one as well, or has there been an evolution?

The first album consisted of music inspired by the 60s because all the reference materials we listened to had that musical influence. Despite that, eight years later, there are still some influences from those years in our songs.

What adjective best describes The Last Shadow Puppets?

‘Explosive’ (laughs). We're like the rock when it erupts from a volcano.

[heromaker-if]

do you have any other ifs that we can read whilst we wait😭😭🫶🫶

Hi anon! Thanks for the ask and your patience! 🥰

I do have some other IFs that I worked on in the past but I don't recommend playing them (I was still learning how to write at that time, so they aren't great). But if you want some IF reccs, I can recommend some IFs I've read recently.

(Sorry for the tags friends, and for the rants!)

(Released) My all time favourite is The Fernweh Saga by @lacunafiction - it's just genuinely so good and it always gives me the vibes of one of those shows you watch after dinner, that becomes part of your routine and you want to see desperately what happens after, and the characters become part of your memories, almost like people. It's just UGH such a good IF. If you like nostalgic hometown horrors, this IF is for you.

(Released) Very close favourite is Blood Moon by @barbwritesstuff - WEREWOLVES GUYS!! I've replayed this game so many times. It's one of those games that after you finish, no matter how long of a break you take from it, you always return to it. I love the "found family" of this game, even though it's not really found, it's just... family. I miss them! The romance in this story is also written so beautifully.

(Released) Another fav is The Golden Rose by @anathemafiction - it was one of my favs while it was still in WIP and after it's released I took so long to play it cause I never wanted to finish it. Like, I grew so attached to its story that I didn't want to let it go. 😭 Very well written characters and the descriptions of things, places, feelings, expressions, mannerisms, is so endearing and eye-catching, never a second where I skipped a line, I was CAUGHT. If you like a story with ominous beginnings, middles and ends, this is for you, not to mention the whole religion themes that are so interesting to dive into.

(Released) I miss this one so much but The Soul Stone War by @intimidatingpuffinstudios - there's two books out for this one already and each one is better than the previous. It's fantasy and about powers and there's a dragon lady that you can romance, and the POLY IN THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! Very soulmate-y romance and just generally captivating storytelling.

(Released) Nothing will ever hit the same as The Passenger by @the-passenger-if - there's just something so familiar, so memorable about this story. I don't think in my next lifetime I will ever forget it. It's about an eldritch horror battling with humanity and it's raw primal role as a monster. It feels short but only because you're so into it that time passes you by, but the tone and the flow of this story is very well done (as well as the characters! 🥰).

(WIP) I feel like everyone and their mothers know about Infamous by @infamous-if - but I'm going to talk about it anyways. It's a BAND IF, yes, music, yes, adrenaline, fame, and all the bad decisions that come with it. It's only one chapter out right now, but it's very worth it. I guarantee you the brainrot you will get from this game is going to consume your life.

(WIP) A somewhat popular one as well is Body Count by @bodycountgame - I haven't seen a game do the whole modern reality TV show with a tinge of horrifying brutal horror as well as Nell has, and even though it's still in its early stages, it's very well done and interesting. Lots of ROs to choose from, and genuinely funny humour to laugh about in between the crying sessions of a favourite character dying.

(WIP) Haven't heard that many people talking about this one to be fair but Chop Shop by @losergames - Also a very early stages game, but it's very adrenaline inducing and has so much potential that has me shaking in my seat. I'm already half in love with the cast and I can't wait to go need for speed and play a super chaotic individual.

Also any game by @hpowellsmith, they're amazing at creating consistent well written stories that have such great characters and even better representation. They do it so well, and I've been a fan of them for years now, definitely one of my role models!

I'm sure there are many more IFs out there that you NEED to play/read, but my mind is blank right now, and these are the only ones I could think of. I also don't have as much time to get into an IF, but I'm getting there (thinking of getting into Shepherds of Haven - which you should!)

[in-death-we-fall]

Murderdolls: Turning The Corner

By Tom Lindgren Photo: Frank White

Hit Parader 462 — March 2003 (drive link)

They say that lightning rarely strikes twice in the same place. But these days you’d have a hard time convincing Joey Jordison about the validity of such a claim. With the immediate, out-of-the-box success of the Murderdolls, Jordison has now played a vital role in helping two bands reach the apex of New Metal acclaim. And while the ‘Dolls have yet to attain the level of fame and fortune enjoyed by Jordison’s “other” band, Slipknot, this trash-’em, bash-’em glam metal unit seems well on their way to grabbing hold of rock and roll’s proverbial gold ring. On their debut disc, Beyond the Valley of the Murderdolls, Jordison and his bandmates— vocalist Wednesday 13, guitarist Acey Slade, bassist Erik Griffin and drummer Ben Graves— have proven that they’ve got what it takes to deliver the kind of high-impact, action-packed sound that a fast-growing legion of today’s fans crave to hear. With all this good stuff goin’ on, we figured what could be better than having a heart-to-heart chat with Jordison and Wednesday about all the positive things happening within their musical lives.

Hit Parader: How satisfied have you been by the kind of reaction that your first album has generated?

Joey Jordison: It’s been great. But one of the first things I learned with Slipknot is that you can’t let any sort of commercial expectations get in the way of what you’re doing. You’ve got to make the music you want to make and then let things just take their course. But since the music of the Murderdolls does have a very broad-based appeal, I would hope that a lot of people would get into it. This isn’t just another one of those records with the kind of depressing lyrics that you hear out there. This music is the polar opposite of that— in fact it’s the polar opposite of just about everything that I’ve heard played in the last decade.

HP: Do you include Slipknot in that assessment?

JJ: Absolutely! I’m not criticizing what we’ve done in that band in any way. But this band was designed to be different, and it is. If I wanted to make the kind of music we make in Slipknot, I just would have waited until we all went back into the studio. But I wanted to do something different. I play guitar here— not drums. There are no masks, and the music is about as fun and exciting as it can be. I’m not saying it’s better… only that it’s different.

HP: The band has received some criticism because of your lyrics. Was that something you anticipated?

JJ: It wasn’t something that surprised me because a lot of people take things on a very superficial basis. They don’t want to delve one inch under the surface because they might end up revealing the truth. Anyone who’s listened to our songs knows that on songs like Graverobbing U.S.A. and Kill Miss America we’re just having fun. That’s the main thing— this is great rock and roll music that is fun to play and fun to listen to. Don’t try to analyze it much more than that.

Wednesday 13: I’m one of those people who is a definite product of his environment. I grew up in North Carolina, which is a conservative place where there really isn’t that much to do. So I was forced to listen to a lot of music and watch a lot of horror movies. That’s the real inspiration for most of my lyrics. I loved movies like Night of the Living Dead and Friday the 13th, and some of the stuff we do plays off of that same kind of mentality. You just can’t take it too seriously.

HP: You’re (sic) sound is an amalgam of old and new. How would you describe the essence of what the Murderdolls are doing?

JJ: It’s rock and roll, that’s the best way that I can describe it. Rock music has lost so much of its edge over the last ten years. What was once this great outlet for rebellion and fun has become this sad-mouthed excuse for bemoaning everything. Our goal was to get rock and roll back on the right path. I like to say that the world needs us right now— that this is the right time for the Murderdolls to make their mark.

13: We’re taking all of our influences, everyone from Motley Crue and Twisted Sister to Alice Cooper and the Sex Pistols and just mixing them all together, shaking them up, and seeing what comes out. It’s just a blast. There’s an edge of craziness and danger to everything that spices it all up and makes it very exciting.

HP: Do you believe that it’s time for so-called “hair metal” to make a comeback?

13: I’ve never trusted any musician that looked too normal. I want my rock and roll heroes to be larger-than-life. Maybe today’s kids don’t know any better because that’s all they’ve been exposed to, but we’re here to show ‘em that you can look cool and sound cool too. It’s really sad that an entire generation of kids have grown up without seeing bands really lay it on the line on stage. I remember seeing the Plasmatics, and watching them destroy everything in their path. That was incredible… that was rock and roll!

JJ: We’re trying to avoid being labeled in any way, but we know that’s asking for the impossible. We’d like everyone to just enjoy what we’re doing, but we know that a lot of people are gonna look at us, listen to the music and call us “glam”, “trash metal”, “hair metal”, whatever. It’s no big deal. We knew from the day we came up with all this, that the Murderdolls were going to shake things up. That’s all that matters. By now, we’ve heard it all, and it’s all okay. We’re presenting something that’s very aggressive, that’s got a definite attitude. We’re not trying to reinvent the wheel here. We’re just trying to make sure that the wheel runs as fast, as loud and as far as it possibly can. This is the kind of rock that I love— the kind of stuff I grew up listening to. The problem is that nobody is playing that kind of music these days. That’s why I keep saying that the Murderdolls are needed now more than ever before.

[boonesfarmsangria]

Phil Sharp

All Points East 2025  will be welcoming The Maccabees for their first show in eight years on Sunday 24 August.

In 2017, The Maccabees said an emotional, euphoric goodbye with three sold-out nights at Alexandra Palace.

After a final performance of their breakout hit ‘Pelican’, they stood together on stage for the final time, waving back at a sea of adoring fans, all pouring their own goodbyes into the moment. It was an ending that has stayed with all who witnessed it, equal parts joyful and sad. At their creative, critical and commercial peak, they were leaving behind everything they had known in their adult lives. The end of crafting four increasingly accomplished and acclaimed albums, with each passing record reflecting the experiences of the fans who had grown up alongside them. The end of The Maccabees.

It was a farewell so resolutely final that each member threw themselves with full commitment into countless new endeavours: music, art, books, film scores, production, broadcasting and so much more. No matter how many times the question was asked in the years after, each member felt the same thing. It was the end. But not all goodbyes are necessarily forever. And so today comes the news that The Maccabees have reunited to headline All Points East in Victoria Park, London on August 24th 2025 – it also coincides with the 10-Year Anniversary of their final record together; the critically acclaimed, Number 1 album ‘Marks To Prove It’.

Not only will The Maccabees be Sunday night headliners – the bank holiday weekend being the perfect time for such a celebratory occasion – but they are also collaborating with All Points East to deliver an essential bill of artists that they love, both old and new.

The first small turning point on the road to All Points East can be charted back to guitarist and founding member Hugo White’s wedding in February 2020. He wanted to put together a covers band as part of the celebrations. Guest spots were divided out between an illustrious list of close friends and musical peers including Adele, Florence + The Machine and Jamie T. It was mooted that The Maccabees could maybe play ‘Pelican’ at the party to make it really special, but Hugo wasn’t entirely sure if singer Orlando Weeks would accept the invitation. They hadn’t all been together, on or off stage, since that last moment at Alexandra Palace.

For Orlando, it was about participating in a landmark life moment for his friend; as he puts it “I didn’t go because it was The Maccabees playing together again, but because it was a beautiful gesture to be invited and to contribute to the spirit of the day. What I wanted, band aside, was to find a way to be in each other’s lives in some way.’’

Having played almost every venue of every size in London as the band developed, the opportunity to headline the leading festival in the Capital in such good company, in the City they all grew up in, was eventually too good an opportunity to pass up.

Having immediately sold 30,000 tickets for their final Alexandra Palace shows shortly after its announcement, demand for tickets is expected to be huge. Fans who sign up to the mailing list at www.themaccabees.co.uk will gain access to a pre-sale which opens at 10am on Wednesday 30 October. Remaining tickets will then go on general sale from 10am on Thursday 31 October.

Felix White adds, on the pertinence of the show itself, “In the intervening years we’ve been to All Points East a lot, separately. It’s become a bit of a landmark festival for us, always checking who’s on the line-up. I’d go and have a great time throughout the day, but there was always this pinch of regret watching headliners that we could’ve done it ourselves one day too. I thought that moment had passed, and it was something I was prepared to come to terms with that I was always going to miss. I think we’re all kind of shocked and excited that we get to do it together again.”

Hugo White was inspired, in part, by watching The Strokes at last year’s All Points East: “I could see that they were enjoying it , realising how great what they had created together was. Being a band, you are usually in a mindset of, ‘We can do better’ and you’re always chasing something else. This is an opportunity to realise that whatever we had in that moment was pretty special and get to enjoy it again. It’s a chance to appreciate everything, and especially how it impacts other people and created a community.

[vengeancevixen]

Panic Fact: Let’s talk about some misinformation regarding Dallon. It seems people are confused about his contributions. Dallon joined Panic as a touring bass player after Ryan and Jon left in 2009. Panic was opening for Blink 182 and Dallon & lan played those shows with Panic. It was NOT finishing the Pretty Odd tour. That tour had ended before Ryan and Jon left.

Brendon & Spencer were working on Vices & Virtues. Dallon did not become a member of Panic until after V&V was done. He did do the album cover art, however.

Brendon & Dallon then cowrote on TWTLTRTD. This would be the only album Dallon contributed on. I see people saying Dallon wrote most of this album and that is also not true. Let's just celebrate that they made a great album together and stop with trying to discredit the other.

Also, this rumor that Dallon was so poorly paid by Panic he had to clean carpets, let’s dig into it. First, Dallon was about ready to give up on his musical career altogether until the call from Panic came in. He was already working as a carpet cleaner. When he joined Panic as a touring player, it was for a limited number of shows opening for Blink. I don’t imagine any touring musician playing that few shows as an opening band at that time wouldn’t have other gigs lined up or second jobs. It’s a tough business. Anyway, here is Dallon talking about it:

Also, this notion that everyone hates working with Brendon is complete nonsense made up by fans. He has worked with pretty much the same people throughout his career and has remained good friends with them until today.

As far as the original lineup, he is best friends with Spencer still today. He and Ryan last spoke (that we know of-and if they’ve spoken since, I doubt they’d want this crazy fan base to even know about it) in 2017. They joked with each other on Twitter well after the split. The one thing that hampered their friendship was the Panic catfisher situation. They aren’t close anymore but they would definitely talk if they ran into each other, as they did in 2017. That time in Panic I am sure feels like two lifetimes ago to both of them and they have all moved on… a long time ago. I think they are proud of what they all accomplished together. Jon has always remained positive about Brendon and Panic.

The current band that’s been with Brendon, Dan, Nicole & Mike absolutely rave about their time in Panic. They truly are a family and had a blast together!! They have all spoken very highly of their time in Panic. From producers to the crew, they all say how great Brendon was to work with.

I’m sure I will add more to this but I can’t stand the misinformation! If you love a band, an artist, go support them. If you have to drag one to boost the other, there’s something very messed up about that.

# Add tags to help people find your posts

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

I've seen quite a few times that the Mutter era was bad but what exactly was going on there? What caused it and stuff

Hi! I'm sure someone else has already posted about this earlier, but i can't really seem to find it, so i'm giving you my view of things here.

(Over the years (especially between let's say 2002 and 2010) several of the Rammstein members talked about it in interviews and there are several videos and transcripts out there.)

What imo basically happened that while making and recording the Mutter album, the Rammstein democracy was stretched to it's limit. And it all boiled down to Richard's ego and feeling of self-importance becoming too big and he tried to control the band. He insisted that things were done the way he wanted it, wasn't open to critique by the others, wasn't willing to change music he wrote for the songs. A massive burst of workaholicness, fueled by an equally massive amount of cocaine didn't help either. It was his way or the high way.

Initially when the Mutter album came out (to many, including me, one of their best ever), these things weren't immediately clear to the outside world, but over time, it became clear from veiled (and eventually not so veiled) comments, that the atmosphere between the bandmembers was at an all time low, especially (but not just) between the guitarists there was no love lost. Although in some interviews there were hints that it wasn't just as black and white as Richard was wrong and all the others were right, and Paul i think also took some of the blame in saying that he wasn't always the most cooperative either, eventually over time also Richard himself acknowledged that the way he acted was the trigger for the fall-out and arguments.

In the Rammstein democracy it is almost never the case that it's always the same people on one side of the argument and the same others on the other side, the factions often shift depending on the topic at hand. But in the Mutter era conflict it is generally believed that only Till was still on speaking terms with Richard, and was likely the one who kept the band together. Till is not imo one to like heated discussions, and Till and Richard go way back, both professionally and in private. Paul is definitely on the other side of the argument, despite his sunny sweet easygoing guy image, Paul is a very determined person, no pushover and always ready to speak his mind and fight for his opinion. Schneider is generally believed to be on Paul's side during the Mutter years, although he is also known to be a mediator between the two guitarists when things overheat again in later years.

The argument had long shadows. With every further album the others feared Richard would start acting out again, and Richard feared the discussions and critique of the others. Some stated in interviews years later that they would out-veto or throw out something Richard made, just because it was Richard's idea. Not a healthy reaction maybe, but an understandable one. Richard often turned to Till and played the music he came up with first to him, knowing that if Till got inspired by a piece, and came up with a lyric to it, he would have a better chance of getting his songs past the Rammstein quality board. Powerplay really, but it is what it is, and the way it worked for years after.

They all lament after each album how difficult it is to work with the Rammstein democracy, but none more than Richard who after every single album stated in interviews that this would definitely be the last Rammstein album, because it was just exhausting. Fortunately he always changed his mind (that's the thing with Richard, he usually means it when he says it, but changes his mind pretty quickly), and there was always another album.

It wasn't until much later, i think in 2017 or 2018 that Paul mentioned in an interview the 'great chemistry right now and we love eachother more than ever', and the fact that in 2019 the Untitled album was released was a surprise to many, because many fans thought a new album would never happen. Ofcourse Richard still stated in some interviews that it would be the last, but traditionally we fans knew to ignore that and just rolled our eyes, and indeed by now we have another album, Zeit. Funny enough, of all the interviews that i read with Richard after Zeit, he didn't mention it would be the 'last' Rammstein album...and i've read many of them 🌺

The Mutter years, and Richard's huge creative drive to come up with new music, imo lead him to create Emigrate. In Emigrate it's all Richard's way, he decides everything, he chooses with who he wants to work. It also gave him a chance to work with other musicians he admired like Lemmy, but the urge to create and not be reigned in is at the basis of Emigrate. The others in Rammstein at first were weary; was Richard starting his own band and leaving Rammstein, especially when Richard wanted (and did) to invite Till to join on a few songs. But in the end it did help to balance things out. Richard gets his way in Emigrate and is more cooperative in Rammstein (still not an easy guy, but they manage it better now). Flake mentioned in one of his podcasts Richard being so prolific, coming up with so many ideas, it was just too much for one band; so i wouldn't be surprised if the others eventually felt the same.

again, my 2 cts, for what it's worth

[joons]

As someone who knows very little about the Beach Boys but is curious, I would love to know all the tea on Mike Love.

"Mike Love isn’t just not rock … he’s actually in the red, like the anti-rock. He’s in rock debt and should spend his next life wearing golf pants and selling hairpieces." — Tony Hicks, Riff Magazine

A real article.

Let me take you on a journey.

Every Beach Boys fan starts to hate Mike Love as a joke, and then it gradually becomes real. (Mike Love defenders, I am truly sorry; you are the devil's strongest soldiers.) The traditional narrative is that when Brian Wilson (the eldest Wilson brother and de facto leader) stopped touring and began spending all his time writing music for the band, Mike Love (Brian's cousin, lead singer, lyricist) became worried that Brian would go off on his own and leave them behind. Mike had good reasons to worry; when the band came back from an extensive tour in Japan, Brian excitedly showed them what he had been working on: Pet Sounds. Widely considered their best album, and one of the best albums of all time, Pet Sounds is chamber pop music, with a wall of orchestral instruments and complex vocal harmonies, interspersed with really off-the-wall sounds, like bicycle horns and theremins, all in service of a "concept album" (the first ever such thing) about a young man entering adulthood and struggling to manage a relationship. Oh, and Brian had already recorded all of this with the Wrecking Crew (professional session musicians, who adored him), written all the lyrics with a new guy, Tony Asher, and then ushered the Beach Boys in to record the final vocals.

Mike Love was probably justifiably a bit peeved that Brian had just like ... done the thing without him and without the band, but that was Brian's job; that was the deal they had worked out when Brian decided he couldn't handle the pressure of touring anymore. Brian was already considered a savant composer at the time and the key to the Beach Boys' success; the Beatles adored his work, and he was in a constant battle to do something as spectacular as the Beatles were doing with albums like Rubber Soul. But when the band came back and got to hear the full thing (Mike was consulted on some of the lyrics beforehand), Mike was like, "This isn't us, this won't sell." (Other members had similar concerns, especially about having to recreate these elaborate orchestrations with a few guitars and drumkits on tour, but they trusted Brian.) The stressors between Mike and Brian continued when Brian started doing an even more ambitious album, Smile, using a really avant-garde lyricist who dealt in poetic imagery rather than concrete stories. Mike once again spent all the recording sessions whining about it and resisting any push toward psychedelic imagery. Legend has it he said something like, "Don't fuck with the formula" (of cars and girls and surfing), and basically shat all over what would have been the most innovative pop album of all time (purely from a production standpoint, it was a beast, needing to be constructed in tiny segments and then edited back together using analog recording equipment). It would have been, as Brian described it, "a teenage symphony to God."

Brian, being mentally fragile, did not do well with conflict like this, (he had already, with great struggle, gotten his father, Murry Wilson, fired as their manager, after Murry's abusive, controlling behavior made it impossible for them to record) and the disappointing reactions from the band and from the public toward Pet Sounds and Smile essentially killed his confidence, meaning that he soon retreated from being the band's leader and took less and less of an interest in writing. (He was more involved than popular imagination might think, but it was certainly a turning point in his creative output.) The pressure quickly became too much, and Brian, who was struggling severely with his mental health, shelved the entire Smile project. It was not released in any complete form until 2004, when Brian had the support around him (hint: not the Beach Boys) to let him put it into an acceptable shape and release a legendary lost piece of media. And it was incredible.

Now, at this point, most fans are like, "Aw, that Mike! Always sticking to the formula!" while acknowledging that he was right about how big of a risk these albums were. Points were made, and Pet Sounds didn't actually sell as well as their other stuff! Smile was very weird! Pet Sounds was so influential among rock musicians at the time (the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band was a direct response to it), but it wasn't a commercial smash. And music does need to be somewhat concerned about the business side. So maybe some fans are like, "Well. We give Mike too much grief for this, Brian had to be responsible for his own confidence, this stuff happens, whatever."

But there's never really a moment where Mike Love is vindicated. He is never satisfied to be "right" about one thing; he must be right in all things. As you keep learning about him, you're like, "Mike is just an asshole."

Very famous picture of Mike and Brian. You can see the whole relationship here.

The main reason the clashes in '66-'67 are still a sore spot is because they're a microcosm of the decadeslong war for the soul of the band. In the 1990s, Mike wrested control of the Beach Boys name from the other surviving band members after the death of Carl Wilson, Brian's brother (a saint, a diplomatic soul who kept the band together when they would otherwise be at each others' throats). This gets into complicated legal weeds, but basically Mike won the rights to tour as "the Beach Boys" even though he only toured with one other member. All of the members share in the profits but are not allowed to do their own tours with the name. Brian had no interest in touring with him at the time, and neither did Al Jardine, another surviving member, but Mike went after Al for touring as "Beach Boys Family & Friends" and successfully sued to prevent any of the other boys from doing anything similar. At the same time, he excluded them from working with him on the official tour. He has kept the band in stasis, rarely playing songs beyond the 1962-1966 eras, and keeping the band's image as a good-time surfing group, when they are so much more, and it grates that they are not more known for how musically significant and groundbreaking they were (I count the entire band's contributions in this, not just Brian, as many of them are great songwriters in their own right and did wonderful production work in the late '60s and early '70s). Mike stands athwart that deserved legacy because he finds it difficult to share the spotlight, and his contributions in the later years were simply not good. Mike isn't solely responsible for the Beach Boys being classified as a nostalgia act; that impression began when Capitol Records, their first label, put out a greatest hits album that sold far more than anything new the band was making in the early '70s. But Mike leaned into that, and instead of capitalizing on renewed interest by showing how the band had grown, Mike wanted to show that the band was exactly how you remembered them.

He is also known for being bizarrely abrasive at times, to the detriment of the band's reputation. When they were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1988, Mike interrupted Brian's sweet statement and wound up going on a ramble lambasting other Hall of Fame members for suing each other (THIS IS DRAMATIC IRONY) or for not "showing up" for that year's event because they've "always been chickenshit to get onstage with the Beach Boys." I have never been able to get through this video in one sitting, I have to stop because the secondhand embarrassment is too much.

ELTON JOHN: Thank FUCK he didn't mention me!

He later blamed his tirade on not meditating that day.

In the 1990s, Mike began to sue the other members for damn near everything. While Mike was somewhat justified in regaining songwriting credits from the Beach Boys' early work (Murry Wilson had something to do with wanting to keep the credits for the Wilson brothers), he went on to claim that Brian including a picture of the Beach Boys in the album sheets for his version of Smile "damaged" the image of the band. Jesus wept. He also sued Brian for how he was portrayed in a (to be fair, mostly ghostwritten and bad) memoir without having read it.

The surviving members of the Beach Boys reunited in 2012 for the band's 50th anniversary. They put out a new album (it was great!) and toured together for the first time since the 1990s. David Marks, an early member who left during the first year, was invited back to play with them. It was healing to see them together and genuinely enjoying performing. Audiences were thrilled. Brian Wilson and Al Jardine both expressed how excited they were to keep it going, not just as a one-time anniversary tour but something they could conceivably do year after year, healing the split between Mike's band (with Beach Boy Bruce Johnston) and the tours that Brian and Al did together. But before any of that could be worked out, Mike just ghosted them, along with David. He announced that the tour was going to go on without them without doing a joint release. Brian and Al wrote a freaking letter to the editor stating they hadn't been told. So it's definitely another "Mike is why we can't have nice things" moment. He has described his exclusive ability to tour as "my nourishment and my revenge," framing it as a way of recovering lost royalties after being cheated out of songwriting credits for a long time, even though he was already awarded monetary compensation for that. In actual fact, he just cannot handle being upstaged.

Some other things that Mike gets flak for: getting obsessed with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and Transcendental Meditation movement, writing songs exclusively about the concept and trying to turn the Beach Boys into an official Maharishi touring group; overclaiming writing credits for his small contributions to certain songs; playing for Trump's campaign events; playing for a trophy hunter guild (these last two in spite of public disavowals from Brian and Al). There are probably other, more private things that I don't think are necessary to get into. None of the band members have completely clean hands in how they've treated one another. What sets Mike apart is that he makes it public and cannot move on.

Everyone has a different breaking point with him, I think. For me, it's his continued digs at Brian, particularly relating to Brian's mental illnesses. Even extending some grace to him for dealing with difficult working conditions as some of the band members spiraled, I cannot excuse how disgusting his language is and how much he clearly wants to erase the empathy and love people have for Brian, with whatever tool he has at hand.

For context, Brian Wilson was locked into an unspeakably abusive conservatorship with his psychologist, Eugene Landy, for a decade, up until 1991. The abuse involved improper prescription treatment that continues to affect Brian to this day. (He is lucky it did not kill him.) I don't even like to think about it much because it's so dark, but Landy controlled what Brian could eat, what he sang, and who he could talk to. He sold off Brian's publishing rights and represented him in public and corporate matters. Thanks to a longtime fan and music journalist, David Leaf; Brian's future wife; and intervention by the family (who had been cut off from communicating with Brian), he was given control of his own life again and eventually properly diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. He has gotten to lead his own life again, making music that helps him deal with auditory hallucinations and depression, and working with who he wants to.

With that background, it's absolutely fucked for Mike to say this:

"He’s not in charge of his life, like I am in mine. His every move is orchestrated and a lot of things he’s purported to say, there’s not tape of it. But, I don’t like to put undue pressure on him, either, because I know he has a lot of issues. Out of compassion, I don’t respond to everything that is purportedly said by him. I’ve noticed where he says he really regards me as his greatest writing partner and that he loves my voice. Even on the 50th (anniversary tour), he made it quite clear he really liked watching me do my thing while he was at the piano. So, there’s a lot of positivity there.” (X)

So many layers there. He's so comically up his own ass, but the things he says about Brian upset me so much. He's so vile for no reason. Even if this were a criticism of Brian's PR or legal team, he could say so, instead of using Brian's past abuse to brush aside his opinions. He always does this thing where the Wilsons' addictions and illnesses are the result of bad choices, while he's never done anything wrong and was victimized by them. It's so infuriating, but it's also hard to get too upset with him because he's genuinely blind.

The thing about Mike is that he's so ... bad that he's fun to hate. Is he truly the worst person in the world? No. But is he actually the worst person in the world? Yes. His terribleness makes me laugh. That might have more to do with the cerebral way Beach Boys fans cut Mike Love clips, but goddamn, it gets me. (Beach Boys fans have had to deal with an awful lot of kitsch against their will, and I think this is their way of coping.)

LISTEN TO THIS MANIAC, I AM WHEEZING AT WORK.

(It's so crazy, he even added in that psychedelic riff at the end of the video! That's not in the song! It's just to emphasize how weird he thinks "Good Vibrations" is and how much he has to "apologize" for it. What is happening. Even when he is "joking," there's such a dark energy about it.)

In conclusion:

A real article. "His memoir leaves him neither vindicated nor convincingly tolerable as a human being."

[fuckyeahvanhalen86-95]

As he sets out on the latest tour by his Led Zeppelin Evening, Jason Bonham is "a little sad" – but not angry – about losing his spot in Sammy Hagar's band.

Answering a fan's social media question a few days ago, Bonham revealed that his 10-year tenure with The Circle and last year's Best of All Worlds tour band had come to an end. "Sammy has decided to carry on with Kenny," Bonham wrote, referring to Kenny Aronoff, who filled in during the four Best of All Worlds shows in August when Bonham rushed to England to help care for his mother, who'd suffered a stroke.

The move reunited the last Chickenfoot touring lineup of Hagar, Aronoff, guitarist Joe Satriani and bassist Michael Anthony (along with keyboardist-guitarist Rai Thistlethwayte). The group, with Aronoff, has been pictured working on new material in the studio, and Bonham says Hagar let him know he'd been replaced not long after the tour's end.

"I was trying to answer fans, really, because they were asking me, 'Why aren't you involved with the new thing they're recording?' and saying, 'Aren't you gonna do it again?' 'I was let go, so, no,'" Bonham, who recorded three albums with Hagar (2015's At Your Service, 2019's Space Between and 2022's Crazy Times), tells UCR. "Sammy rang me awhile ago. He was asking about my mom, but then he said, 'Y'know, I’m not gonna do much next year,' blah, blah blah, 'and I'm gonna go with Kenny.' I was a little shocked, I must say. I'd be lying to you if I wasn't a little sad, because we were on fire at the end of the tour. And I got a little upset. That was strange, after 10 years of being with him."

Nevertheless, Bonham has nothing but good to say about Hagar. "Listen, I love the guy to bits. I don't wish him any ill. I still speak to him. Honestly, the guy has taught me so much – about business, being positive. I'm an English guy; I can be really negative half the time. Even if the sun is shining, 'but it could rain.' He really helped me in that aspect big-time, and business sense and never taking no for an answer, always believing in yourself."

"So, yeah, I had a great 10 years. He allowed me to always do what I wanted to do. When my thing would get busy he always gave me the space. I couldn't ask for more."

Bonham is pleased to report, however, that his mother is well on the mend. "Mom is absolutely doing amazing, which is more than I could ever possibly imagine – from literally being told 'Say goodbye now' to now," he says. "She is a stubborn, hard-ass woman that suddenly went, 'I'm OK. I'm gonna be good.' It's still gonna take a lot of rehab and a lot of time to get back to what she was, but the real painful part – she beat that. So she's fighting on. She's almost back to normal, almost back to not talking to me. So she must be getting better! [Laughs.] She's gonna be around for a lot longer."

Amid all this, Bonham has just hit the road again with LZE, kicking off Tuesday night, Nov. 19, in Indianapolis, with 18 more U.S. dates through Dec. 16. "It blows my mind that something I started 14 years ago, only wanting to do it once, has just naturally become a part of my life that I've enjoyed doing on a yearly basis," the son of the late Led Zeppelin drummer John Bonham says. "I never intended to do so many shows each year – but we've got about 20 in the beginning of the year and 20 at the end of the year, a winter run, and then bands started to ask me to go open for them on summer tours."

Bonham has kept his LZE set lists evolving as well; during its most recent rehearsals it's "been pulling out some songs that have never been done," or rarely performed, including "Friends," "Achilles' Last Stand," "In the Evening" and the extended "Dazed and Confused" from The Song Remains the Same.

Bonham says he's also "working to do" a full-album presentation of Led Zeppelin's Physical Graffiti for its 50th anniversary next year. "This is purely done as love, as a passion project," Bonham says. "I still get very kind of in awe or overwhelmed with the response we get. Every night I say to the audience, 'I will do it until I can't play any longer. If I can't play to the ability that the songs need, or the day I don't enjoy doing it, I will call it a day."

Bonham, who's also part of the all-star Black Country Communion, has some other points of pride for the year. He remains active with his son Jagr Henry, who had a rock radio hit with "Breed" this year.

"I'm so proud of him and the music he's making. Some of the music is a little heavy for some people’s tastes, but to me – I'm a drummer. I love riff-based music. We've got a really good start with it, and he's gonna come out and join [LZE] for a few shows and scare some of my fans a little because he's, like, 6-foot-4, he's ripped, completely tattooed, but the his band is great. I am just so pleased he's at this point, and it's just gonna get better."

HOW JASON BONHAM HELPED FOREIGNER GET BACK TOGETHER

And even though he was not an inducted member, Bonham was pleased to see Foreigner – which he played in from 2004-08 – get its due last month from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

"Back in 2004, I did a charity event in Santa Barbra with [Foreigner founder] Mick Jones and got [current bassist] Jeff Pilson involved and we had one of the original keyboard players and I brought an old singer I'd worked with before. ... After it was over I said, 'Come on, Mick. let's get the band back together!' That was the start of it, and they're still touring 20 years later. My time there was short, but I'm really pleased I had something to do with bringing the band back together, 'cause the music of Foreigner is timeless."

He added with a laugh: "It was always weird ... 'cause my wedding song was 'Waiting For a Girl Like You.' That's when I danced with my wife. To play that on a nightly basis always felt a little weird."

[crumb]

hi! i watched the passenger back when it came out but recently your sets popped up in my dash and i ended up rewatching it and that led to me watching dinner in america which i loved! i was wondering if you have any other kyle gallner films you liked beside from jennifers body and smile. also love all of your gif sets :).

That’s so awesome to hear! I’m glad you enjoyed The Passenger and Dinner in America. They’ve quickly become two of my favourite films. And thank you! I work hard on the gifsets so it's nice to know people like them. ☺️ As for other film recommendations in Kyle Gallner’s filmography, here are some that I enjoyed/thought were worth the watch and my thoughts: Note: If you have any specific triggers/aversions please check a site like doesthedogdie.com first before watching these. Mother, May I? (2023) — I wasn’t a fan of Holland Roden’s performance (I know she can act so it was a little disappointing) but the movie was interesting and I enjoyed Kyle’s performance. I mean, I liked Holland’s too at times but some parts were really bad imo. What Comes Around (2022) — I liked this one. The synopsis I glanced at beforehand wasn’t really accurate to the film’s contents but I still liked the film overall. It wasn’t crazy good like The Passenger or anything close to it but it was still interesting. Ghosts of War (2020) — I really liked this up until the last 30 minutes. But! Kyle gives a great teary-eyed/deranged monologue in this that honestly makes it worth it. The Cleansing Hour (2019) — I actually turned this one off in the first like 10 minutes but then I went back and watched the rest and ended up liking it! Once things start really rolling it’s a fun ride. Alien Code (2018) — Concept was too big brained for their tiny budget which results in some real goofy stuff BUT I really liked the story it was trying to tell and pretty much all the actors give decent/great performances. Zen Dog (2016) — It’s a weird little indie film but I liked it. It’s always nice to watch something and know everyone had a blast making it. (There’s a 30 min BTS on Vimeo that proves this lol) The Cleanse (2016) — Kyle is a supporting actor in this so if you only want to watch stuff with him as a lead then you might want to pass. I ended up kinda liking this. It was slow at parts, but it was still kinda cool. Could have done with like 10 more minutes of story to wrap things up but yeah. The Finest Hours (2016) — Again, Kyle is only a supporting actor in this but he looks real cute in this 1950s era film. Band of Robbers (2015) — I really liked this!! It has a great cast and a fun script. It’s a quirky indie comedy and Kyle holds his own alongside some great actors & comedians. Magic Valley (2011) — It’s dark and haunting and shot really beautifully. It’s a slow ride but not boring at all. Losers Take All (2011) — So much of this movie is kinda corny but it was fun and you get to see Kyle in a band singing which is a bonus lol. The Haunting in Connecticut (2009) — I really really liked this. I’m not sure why it has such terrible reviews. There are other films in the haunted house sub-genre from around this time that are much worse but somehow have better reviews than this movie which is baffling to me. I’ve been working my way through his filmography and you can see my ratings and reviews for his films over on my letterbox account. There are more of his films I didn’t include in this list either because he only had a small role, it wasn’t a very good movie, or I haven’t seen it yet. My main take away after, so far, watching 25+ films and a number of television episodes he’s been in is that he ALWAYS gives a great performance. The only time it falters is when the script/dialogue is weak which isn’t his fault. It’s kind of insane that I have yet to find something he’s been in where he’s given a mediocre performance. At this point I don’t think he’s able to give a mediocre performance. He’s super consistent with the quality of his acting. So honestly, no matter what films of his you watch, good or bad, you’re still gonna get a great performance from him.

[chamerionwrites]

Tag Nine People You'd Like To Get To Know Better

FAVOURITE COLOUR(s): Rusty red-orange, deep cool spruce green, bright cobalt blue, wine red, the various shades of slate green/grey/blue.

FAVOURITE FLAVOUR(s): Weirdly difficult question, in that what I think I most enjoy about food is the way that different flavors and textures complement each other to become more than the sum of their parts. But I am a huge fan of deep rich fruity-savory umami (sundried tomatoes, a great red chile sauce, things braised in red wine) as well as absolutely any kind of citrus or fresh herbs.

Also, while this isn't exactly one thing and it might be simpler just to say that I like strong flavors, I fall firmly into the These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things camp on a lot of polarizingly funky/briny things (smoked salmon, goat cheese, blue cheese, olives, anchovies, preserved lemons, etc).

Also the taste+aroma of both fresh bread and corn tortillas hot off the comal is imo the human equivalent of catnip, ie "provokes immoderate feral delight on some bizarrely primal level."

FAVOURITE MUSIC: The very sexy Bermuda Triangle where blues/rock/folk bleed into and/or influence one another. Anything else that takes my fancy, including but not limited to a lot of soul, post-punk, and highly danceable salsa or big band swing stuff. Sad jazz. Gratuitously melancholy strings. Great lyrics, great harmonies, deep rich vocals.

FAVOURITE MOVIE(s): I have never in my life been able to pick one favorite book, but Pan's Labyrinth is easily my favorite movie.

FAVOURITE BOOK(s): This is the impossible question to me but The Periodic Table, Signs Preceding The End of The World, The Things They Carried, The Little Drummer Girl, and everything Arundhati Roy has ever written are all on the list somewhere.

FAVOURITE SERIES(es): The Same Sky is exquisitely good and The Night Manager is my id-stroking comfort rewatch. I also loved Andor and the first season of Hannibal.

LAST SONG: I was just going through this tag earlier.

LAST SERIES: Thanks to holiday craft fair season I have had zero ability to do longform TV anytime within the last few months. (Also, frankly, multi-season TV series are the one of the most difficult media formats for my brain to engage with; it's a fantastic storytelling medium when done well, but I personally have a much harder time sitting down for two hours of TV than for two hours of reading and thus getting started often feels like a huge commitment. I am really a 3-6 eps and done miniseries person at heart.)

That said I am a big podcasts-while-working person and I've been listening to a lot of Friends At The Table and Bad Gays recently.

LAST MOVIE: The Wind That Shakes The Barley, which has been on the Somehow I've Never Seen This And I Really Should list for a while. It has promptly been moved to the OFC It's Possible To Make A War Movie That Doesn't Glorify War, Y'all Are Just Fools And Cowards list.

CURRENTLY READING: ...I have to admit that I'm re-reading Kissinger's Shadow (to Mark The Occasion).

CURRENTLY WATCHING: Nothing (see above), though I have ambitions of giving Black Sails a shot.

CURRENTLY WORKING ON: The sketching stage of some linocuts, some experimental worldbuild-y map-drawing (important as Cartography And Its Imperial Misuses are kinda thematically and plottily relevant to the story, at least in its nebulous conceptual form).

TAGGED BY @silkenred (thanks!), and TAGGING (only if you want ofc) @sassysnowperson, @tobermoriansass, @cosmonauthill, @essayofthoughts, and anybody else who feels like doing this. (No really, I'm shy about tagging but please do the thing if you're interested.)