#not just a pic of a stupid bench

[amazinglyashy]

Too heavy for me? Never

LADS men reaction to you only somewhat joking about being too heavy for them

Sylus -

He'll raise an eyebrow at you, staring down at you as you realize the joke fell flat. You try to back peddle, not wanting to cause any confrontation that never helps you feel better about your body anyway, but he simply holds up a hand to stop you with a shake of his head.

"I don't want to hear it, sweetie. I already know the nonsense you're going to say. How about you just come with me right now to the gym instead?"

You don't know how to tell him that saying that truly shattered your heart into a million pieces, so you just follow him in silence instead. You didn't think he would insult you so casually, and you were now trying to brace yourself for the inadequate feelings and self-loathing you were about to experience by having to train at the gym with him.

But... he didn't ask you to do a workout. He didn't tell you to get on a piece of equipment or to lie down on a mat for a physical exercise.

He told you to sit on a small bench against the wall while he went to the free weights close by.

Wordlessly, he loads weights- two- no, three times your weight onto the bar, before moving to lift it. Once. Twice. Again, and again and again-

His eyes flicker over to you at some point, and instead of making any remark or reference to the emotions clear across your face, he flashes you a slight smirk, just like he always does.

"Have I made myself clear, sweetie?"

Zayne -

Zayne will definitely think you're just pretending to be stupid at first.

He will look down at you with his brows furrowed and a small smile creeping on his lips, thinking it's all a joke.

"I lift myself during my workouts fairly easily, and I am capable of lifting a lot more. Quite funny, though I wouldn't make this form of humor a habit. It isn't particularly good for your mental health."

Then he realizes you're actually being serious in what you're saying.

He's upset, to put it lightly, but hes trying not to let it show. Favoring a small frown across his usually firm expression as he studies your face. Your heart will jolt just a little bit when you process just how sad his eyes look though... obviously he's hurt that you would even think something like that about yourself, much less come to believe it as true.

"Allowing a part of your brain to lie to you is not healthy if you don't push back with the truth. And the truth here, is that you are nowhere near too heavy for me to lift or carrying, even for prolonged periods of time. To demonstrate-"

And like it's nothing, he's picking you up and carrying you. His destination is not important, and the protests spewing from your lips fall on deaf ears as you try to gentle squirm out of his grasp. He'll continue to explain why your viewpoint is flawed, methodically and with logic, and in a way that you find yourself unable to argue back.

He doesn't want you to.

He knows you're wrong, and he will stop at nothing to prove it.

Xavier -

He's more surprised at the statement than anything. At first, he thinks you're making a jab at his strength, and wonders if he slipped up in front of one too many Wanderers and now needs to prove himself just to get you to stop teasing him for being 'weak'.

Once he (quickly) realizes that you're talking about yourself, jabbing at your own body and state, rather than at him, it's like a spark igniting in him.

"What? What would ever make you think that? No- that's not right. That's not right at all."

He's immediately going to try and grab you to lift you up, he doesn't care where you both are or what you're doing. Even if you've just woken up in bed and are still relaxing, he's trying to pick you up right then and there.

He stumbles trying to lift you, falling backward onto the pile of blankets and plushies that has taken over his bed. He feels awful, worried that you'll take his misstep as him falling over from your weight, immediately apologizing and trying to sit up and pick you up again before falling forward from the plush surface he's trying to rise on giving out too much beneath him.

You're both a giggling mess by then, and it's obvious to you that he's going to keep trying to prove it to you, just... a bit clumsily so. Several more attempts will be made as the evening goes on, and pretty soon he's showing you just how easily it is for him to lift you up- especially if he keeps doing it over and over and over again.

And he will continue to do it over and over and over again, even after today. As many times as it takes.

Rafayel -

You definitely made a mistake saying anything self-depreciating around him. Especially with how much he likes to prove you wrong in playful situations, this is something similar, but a lot more serious to him.

He'll make fun of you for anything, as long as you know he's just being lighthearted even if he's grumpy or upset when he fires a quip off at you.

But the second you agree with him, or say something bad about yourself- whether jokingly or dead serious- the gloves are off. He won't accept that from you, and he's already on it to figure out how to turn the opinion you've formed of yourself on it's head and into a more positive outlook.

Lifts you up bridal carry while spinning- quite literally sweeping you off your feet while he whisks you away. You would think you were a princess with how he spins around his studio with you in his arms, with no regard to the paintings or projects around him as he dances with you in his arms. And no matter how hard you protest, he doesn't stop until he feels for himself that he's done enough, giggling the entire time.

"Are you really going to doubt a sea god's strength? Geez, I didn't realize you were such a rude human."

He'll hold you up enough to press his forehead against yours, nuzzling against you with a smile, the slightest sadness playing across his expression.

"Man, I must be pretty lousy that you would ever think something like that about yourself. That must mean I don't think to pick you up enough like you deserve. Don't worry, I'll make it up to you by whisking you away every chance I see you from now on."

[gyuzgrl]

Sweat for me ||kmg||

Summary- Mingyu's hot. You're hot. Surely a night alone at the gym, sweating and panting together, would sit with you just fine, right?

Mingyu's body is undeniably sculpted. Everyone knew that. What they didn't know, however, is that his impressive physique was all thanks to you- his workout partner. Had it not been for you, he would've lost all his motivation to hit the gym in the first place. After all, who doesn't want to get hot and sweaty with a pretty girl like yourself?

For over a year now, you and him had met up almost every day at 9 am sharp, outside your company-provided dorm. He'd have his car parked in front of your building, waiting outside your door as you invited him in for a quick protein shake. You'd chat over 'breakfast' for a bit, gossiping about the employees and your co-workers, sometimes even indulging in a bit of harmless flirting as you spoke. (not harmless, you had fallen hopelessly in love with him)

Today wasn't going to be any different, you thought. That was, of course, until your phone rang beside you, lighting up with his contact name instantly.

"hello?"

"hey," he breathed, his tone somewhat troubled.

"what's wrong gyu? "

You were worried. He never called at night. Hell, as idols that's when you worked the most- practicing in the dance studio or in the recording room until you saw the sun creeping up around you and finally decided to head back home.

"nothing I just- I need a distraction and I was wondering if you wanted to workout"

"hm? yeah okay I'm in the studio right now, I'll be up in ten," you sighed "tell me what happened?"

"yeah," he whispered. "I'll tell you"

Hanging up, you gathered your things, shoving your notepad and pens into your bag as you headed to your locker. Luckily, you had a spare set of gym clothes which you changed into quickly, mind running over all the possibilities as to what could've gone so wrong to have Mingyu this upset. Either way, you were on your way to see him, hair tied into a neat high ponytail, in your white gym set- a sports bra and some biker shorts that hugged you in all the right places.

Trembling slightly, you opened the glass door to the gym, unsure why you felt this shaky. You'd met him a million times before.

Fuck it was just Mingyu. The guy who eats all your food and picks you up every morning. The guy who whines about how tired he is and how his body aches from all that dancing. The guy who eyes you up and down wordlessly whenever he sees you, tensing his jaw as if to contain something.

Hold on- what?

It was late. Too late for any other Hybe artist to be working out at the gym. Too late for your trainer to oversee your progress. Too late for you and Mingyu to be alone like this.

He spotted you right away, eyes lighting up instantly.

"you came" he said, his voice so gentle it made you weak.

"you called," you whispered under your breath, but he seemed to have caught what you said. You noticed this and instantly moved to cover up any traces of what you said.

"let's uh, let's get down to business, shall we?" your voice filled the suspiciously short silence, "what's the matter gyu?"

He let out an airy laugh, sounding almost exasperated.

"my stupid manager's on my ass again about posting on Instagram."

You let him continue, nodding along as you guided him to sit on one of the benches behind.

"he wants me to post, for the lack of a better word, sluttier pics. like abs and arms and all. apparently, the fans love it and we kinda need to do well with this comeback. he's even considering having me go shirtless- completely on display in the upcoming music video." He sounded tired. So tired.

"he's really throwing you out to the wolves, huh," you patted his thigh sympathetically, "I get how that could make you uncomfortable... it really sucks how people treat you like something to be ogled at just because you're hot"

You pause. He quirks a brow.

"I mean uh, because they think you're hot" you blurt, internally cursing yourself for opening your stupid mouth.

He's quiet for a second before a slight smile plays at his lips- god his lips are gorgeous.

"what about you," he leans into your face, just inches away, "do you think I'm hot?"

"what? yes- I mean no- I mean yeah? no." you stutter, "uh, not rea-"

His laughter cuts you off, and you want nothing more than for the ground to swallow you whole.

"cute" he mutters, "do you wanna get started? I'm not upset anymore but there's so much... pent-up energy, you know?"

His tone takes on a sultry note as he says that last bit, and you take a sharp breath in. You agree wordlessly and head over to stretch.

"I'm already done cause I just got done with dance rehearsals, but I can help stretch you out, hm?"

You freeze momentarily, unsure of what you'd just heard. God your mind was taking a filthy, filthy turn.

Mingyu isn't stupid. He's aware of what his words mean. But seeing you all flustered gets him so riled up, he can't help it.

"y-yeah, you can help me stretch gyu"

Cringing at how you stuttered, you grab a yoga mat and unfurl it onto the wooden floor.

"let's maybe try something new today, yeah?"

He stands behind you, arms resting on your hips, as he pushes your thighs back- straightening them against his own.

"try to touch the mat" he says gently, one hand leaving your thigh to place light pressure on your back.

You thanked your lucky stars you were flexible, cause the lower you went, the more your ass pushed into his groin. He didn't seem to mind it either, with the way he kept pushing, till your palms touched the spongy surface of the mat.

Trying to stand up, you were met with a firm hand holding you in place. A surprised 'hm?' leaves your lips, and he grins at you, the handsome devil.

"hold" he whispered, staring at your perfectly bent form in the mirror up ahead. This position looked unnecessarily sexual- like he was taking you from behind, for all the world to see. You thanked the universe for leaving the gym empty, and wordlessly stayed in place, pushing yourself closer into him.

"10, 9, 8..." he counted, going painfully slow, gritting his teeth.

"...3, 2..."

You waited eagerly for the last number, thighs tensing under his touch, tightening with the stretch, but it never came.

"mingyu-" you start, but it comes out a little more strained and desperate than usual. Your face goes red.

"what was that?"

You kept your mouth shut, not trusting your vocal chords to hold their own in this... sticky situation.

"we're done, I think you're good, you seem uh, flexible enough"

Your head spins as he lifts you back up, pressing your back flush against his chest. His breath tickles the top of your ear- oh my god he's teasing you.

Not wanting to give in so easily, you stepped away and grinned at him.

"what's first on the list?"

"bench press," he says.

"yes sir," you smile, dropping in the honorific to test the waters.

And boy, oh boy are they tested.

Mingyu feels his cock twitch at your words, the length pushing against his boxers ready for action. Clenching his jaw, he follows you to the bench, lying down on the cool black leather after setting his weights on either side. He lifted heavy. That was for sure. You could barely deadlift what he pressed, but the variation in strength turned you on in a way you couldn't even comprehend.

"don't let me die" he usually says, before he starts his set, but tonight, his words are a little different.

"you'll kill me if you keep staring like that"

That alone is enough to snap you out of your trance, and you realize that you've been staring daggers into him, thinking about how strong he is.

"like what?" you grin, steadying yourself behind him.

He huffs, glaring up at you, and starts lifting the bar up above his head.

Your eyes are trained on him, ready to offer support when he's at his limit. The first few movements come easy to him, and you begin to wonder if he's already ready to press even more. His arms tense deliciously under the weight of the bar, and you observe his veins popping out along his forearm and on the back of his hand. Damn him and those beautiful, thick arms.

You couldn't help but notice his fingers too- how thick and long they were, how they curled around the bar so easily, how they'd fill you up so good if you just let him.

Licking your lips, you gaze back down at him.

He groans as he pushes the bar up, arms tensing even more now. The sound he makes is undeniably sexy. From the back of his throat, from deep within his chest. You feel your panties dampen in response and you swallow thickly, now somewhat nervous about the whole ordeal.

Fuck, you've barely even begun.

Another groan from him sends your mind ablaze with images of him hovering above you, holding his weight on those sturdy arms as he pounds into you relentlessly, making the same sounds he made just now. Your cheeks feel hot. Your body feels hot.

Fucking hell, he's hot.

Looking up at you, Mingyu seems to take notice of the way your face is already so flushed. He smirks, placing the bar back up, and lifts himself off of the seat.

"your turn, doll" he says, his voice breathy and low.

You're so taken aback by how quickly he's done, that you can barely process the pet name he's used. Sure, he calls you angel and darling and sweetheart and doll and everything under the sun on any normal day, and sure, they sent butterflies fluttering around your insides on any normal day, but this- this for some reason made its way straight down to your pussy.

Your core ached for him.

"huh? my turn? yeah my, my turn"

He stifled a laugh and brought your weights over, replacing his own.

"thanks gyu"

"alright, bring it up," he instructed, staring down at you.

Your arms gave out after the eleventh circuit, and you let out a forced breath, alerting his attention.

"c'mon doll, gimme four more," he soothed, "you can do it, I know you can"

His hands hovered under your aching elbows, as he applied the tiniest bit of pressure to help you.

"mingyu I can't-" you whimpered, "it's too much"

His eyes flashed over with desire before he caught himself and shook his head sternly.

"I've got you, okay? Just a bit more"

You whimpered your way through the last three, and by the end of it, you could barely feel your arms.

The gym was still empty, save for the two of you. The staff had left, and the idols were either lost in dance rehearsals or at home. You had the place all to yourselves. That, coupled with the fact that it was painfully clear that you and he both desired each other, made it hard for you to prevent yourself from soaking through your panties.

Mingyu did two more rounds, which you continued to assist, and you worked on glutes after.

He happened to notice that your posture was off when you were squatting- probably because of how sore your arms were, and without hesitating, his hands made their way once more to your hips.

"what are you-"

"you can go lower, can't you?" he rasped, his grip firm as ever, "and you can keep that back straight too."

You nodded, barely suppressing the whimper that threatened to spill out of your mouth.

"as pretty as it looks arched, I'd rather you didn't hurt yourself, hm?"

You were at your limit. Your mind went blank, and the dampness between your legs spread to your inner thighs. Praying that it wouldn't show through your white bottoms, you squatted down again, with his hands on you, hips following wherever he guided them.

"there we go" he whispered, dangerously close to your neck.

Your body shuddered, goosebumps trailing along all over your skin, and finally, finally, he seemed to acknowledge your state.

"are you cold?" he teased, knowing damn well you were boiling away inside.

You shook your head and stepped away, letting his touch linger on your waist for a second too long.

Eyes burning with red-hot desire, Mingyu stared you down in the mirror, watching your every move. The flush of your cheeks was a telltale sign of how flustered you were, and the goosebumps told him of the effect he had on you. The avoidant, wordless behaviour though, he was confused by.

He knew how he felt from the moment he saw you. Gorgeous as you were, you were fucking fiery too. That smart mouth of yours has kept him up at night for god knows how long, and finally, he intended to do something about it. Your feelings for him grew clear as day over time, and he made it his goal to worship you. But tonight, you seemed so... hesitant. It took him by surprise. Almost as if he was expecting you to crumble and give in instantly.

"y/n,"

Your shoulders tensed as he called your name from across the room, nervousness painfully evident in your stance.

"was it too much?" he asked.

"no, I just- I'm just feeling kinda tense, is all"

You waved him off, turning away to turn off the lights as you left.

He stalked his way behind you, just as the room went dark, and placed his firm hands on your shoulders.

"this any better?" he asked, the low timbre of his voice vibrating along your ear and neck as he massaged soothing circles into the tight muscles of your back.

Fuck it felt good. So good.

"mhm," was all you could manage in response, as you bit back a moan- albeit unsuccessfully- when he pressed harder into your skin.

There you were, shrouded in darkness, sighing and moaning into the open air helplessly as his hands worked their magic into your back. They traveled up to your neck, soothing the spot right below where your hair ended, and instantly your hand shot up to your mouth, muffling a moan that you're sure he's heard.

His fingers halt for a second, and something snaps in him.

"don't you dare hide those pretty sounds from me"

Your pussy flutters at his words, clenching down again, unfortunately, around nothing.

"please-" you whimper, unable to hold yourself together any longer.

The arousal sopping through your shorts was unbearable. He turned you around to face him, his eyes darkening by the second. Unable to hold his gaze, you lower your head, opting instead to look at his chest.

"please?"

Hooking a long digit under your chin, he tilted your head up towards him once again. The sheer intensity of his stare left you aching for him. Need filled you like water, and your breathing turned shallow.

"what do you want, doll?" his voice is smooth and sultry.

A pathetic whimper leaves your lips, and the corners of his curl up into a teasing smirk. He knew what you wanted. Him. But god did he yearn to hear you say it.

"c'mon angel, where'd that smart mouth go? always fucking bossing me around, saying whatever you want, like nothing could ever faze you- but here we are. I've barely even touched you and you look this fucking spent already- jesus"

"I-" you started, chest heaving at his words, "fuck Mingyu please just- God please touch me"

He licks his lips, the same shit-eating grin plastered on that beautiful face of his, and tilts his head.

"there we go, sweetheart... all you had to do was ask,"

He inches closer, stepping forward tantalizingly slow- like he's teasing to see if you can hold out. With each step, your eyes gloss over with desire, with lust, and you want nothing more than to lunge at him and suck deep red marks all over his gorgeous physique.

You whine when he bends down, teasing you with a soft kiss on your nose, and another on the corner of your mouth. Just as you were ready to complain and demand that he kiss you straight, he slips a hand to cup the side of your face, thumb locked on your temple while the other digits secure themselves in your hair, and kisses you nice and slow.

You're frozen for a second, unable to process the gentle need in the way his lips moved against your own- so tender yet so deep, it could almost pass off as a confession of love. You don't let yourself get too wrapped up in the thought, trying not to get ahead of yourself. For all you knew, he was just horny and in need of a quick fuck.

"hey" his voice is soft, like he can hear your thoughts, and you want nothing more than for him to kiss you again.

"hi" you whisper, breathlessly.

"let's get you home, yeah?"

He pats your head, smoothing out the disheveled strands, and kisses your forehead. You're at a loss for words, once again, as his actions take you by surprise. You thought this would end with you and him fucking on one of the benches or on the floor, but he was taking you home?

"do you not want me?" your voice is small. It pulls at his heartstrings painfully so and his expression softens.

"I want you more than anything. I mean it. But not like this."

The slight furrow in your brows makes it easy for him to read your confusion, and he continues.

"I want to worship you. Properly. This is no place for that, don't you agree?"

This man isn't real. He can't be, come on. There's no way he looks that good, talks the way he does, AND wants to what- "worship" you? Your mind reels with the weight of his words, and for a second, you let yourself slip into the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he feels for you the way you do him.

Maybe, he's in love.

A year of 'friendship' will do that to a girl...

"gyu I-"

"let's talk at home, okay doll?"

You nod dumbly and let him lead you outside to his car.

You'd been in here a countless number of times, but now? With the faint glow of the moon on his sweaty skin and the desperation in his eyes, as he rushed to get you home, you're on top of the world.

His hand reaches over to squeeze your thigh when he sees it bounce up and down, reassuring you instantly to soothe that burning mind of yours. When you look over, you his side profile- illegally handsome, by the way- and sigh. 'This is nice' you think to yourself, letting go, letting yourself be loved however he shows it.

A few minutes pass, his hand leaves occasionally to change gears, but always finds its way back, inching higher and higher each time. Daringly you shift forward and his fingers graze the space between your legs, which earns a sharp groan on his end.

"I can feel it through your shorts goddamnit" he grits, sliding his fingers all over, cupping your pussy through the fabric.

He sucks in a deep breath, releasing it shakily, and mutters a quick "thank god" when he pulls into your apartment. He yanks his seatbelt off, running over to your side of the car, before opening your door and scooping you into his arms- bridal style.

You yelp, but he quickly silences it with a kiss, kicking the door closed as he clicks on the lock.

"put me down" you giggle, snuggling into his chest like a puppy does with its favorite human. He rolls his eyes and pulls you closer, protectively, and carries you into the elevator.

The familiar ding hits your ears and he steps out still carrying you- and walks over to your door.

"keys" he groans, "I need the keys"

"they're in my pocket"

"no problemo"

His hand slides from under your knee to the curve of your ass, feeling around for something sharp, unable to find any such object.

"they're not here"

"check again"

And his hand begins it's search, cupping and squeezing your ass, earning a short-breathed chuckle from you.

"doll, they're not-"

He stops when he sees the playful grin on your face as you dangle a set of keys in front of his eyes.

"naughty fucking girl you are" he scoffs, hoisting you up again as he unlocks the door.

You're in. Inside the house. At night. Alone with Mingyu.

Suddenly everything becomes real, and you look at him, smiling down at you softly.

"are you sure about this?" you ask him, meekly.

"hey, that's my line"

You laugh, smacking his chest and let him carry you to the bedroom. The fact that he already knew his way around made you blush, funnily enough. The familiarity made this feel like you were his and he was yours already.

He placed you on your bed, delicately like you were going to break if he wasn't careful. His eyes ran over your body shamelessly, but the look he adorned was that of pure adoration and awe. It made you nervous.

"you'll kill me if you keep staring like that," you say, teasing him slightly, recalling the comment he made at the gym.

"like what" he grins, and you feel a smile tug at your lips.

He kneels in front of the bed and slips off your sneakers one by one, deft fingers untying the intricate knots on the surface. As he slid them off he made sure to graze his fingertips against the sensitive skin of your ankle ever-so-slightly, leaving goosebumps in the path they traveled. Once they were off, he tossed them aside, looking intensely at you to gauge your emotions.

The breathlessness evident on your face was validation enough, and he continued.

Taking hold of one of your feet, he presses light, feathery kisses on your inner ankle, while his other hand reaches up to interlock your fingers with his. Relishing in the way your breath hitches when his lips connect with the neglected skin, he places one last soft kiss before crawling onto the bed, slowly, teasing you knowing damn well how badly you need him.

The movements are slow but intentional, each motion bringing him closer and closer, until he hovers over you, caging your body under his.

"god you're beautiful" he blurts, unable to control himself. You turn away bashfully, only to have your face tipped back towards his.

"don't hide," your expression softened at his words, "not from me, okay angel?"

A smile plays at your lips and you pull him in by the collar of his shirt, locking lips once again. He groans into your mouth as your hands roam the broad surface of his back, nails digging into the grooves of his sculpted muscles.

"fuck let's get this off, yeah?"

Slowly, fuck he's such a tease, he lifted your sports bra off, 'accidentally' running his thumbs over your nipples as he did.

Your body jolts at the sudden stimulation, pleasure running down your spine like electricity. The breaths you didn't realize you were taking for granted all this while suddenly seemed laborious under his touch, and your mouth slipped open to ease your lungs. Sweet, sweet oxygen. The burning in your lungs seems to cool for a second, and you sigh.

"gyu" you mumble, watching him toss the cloth aside.

His gaze, now back on you, falters when he sees your bare chest. Brows scrunching slightly in the middle, he takes in a shaky breath as his limbs carry him to you as if under some sort of spell.

"oh my god" he breathes, "oh my fucking god- you'll be the death of me"

Feverishly, his hands slide up your body, cupping your breasts in his large hands. He kneads them, climbing back on top of you to capture your lips in his once again. A soft moan escapes you when he tugs your lower lip, nipping at the tender flesh, quickly slipping his tongue into your mouth. He was a rapper. Obviously, he's good with that damn tongue of his. You hated how your core tightened from just kissing alone- fuck if he continued you'd probably cum right then and there, moaning into his mouth as he swallows up your sounds greedily.

"mmm fuck"

Your back arches when he moves his lips to your jaw, trailing kisses up to your ear before he whispers-

"what do you want from me"

"you know what I want from you"

"do I?" he teased, gently grazing his teeth along the shell of your ear.

You could hear your heartbeat in your ears, a dull thud sounding over and over, a familiar song you heard long ago. His lips press soft kisses where his teeth left off, and you could swear this was the end for you. Mingyu seemed so aware, so present in the moment, it made your heart swell. It's been a while since you felt this way, hell you aren't sure if you've ever felt this way...

"sweetheart?"

You look up at him, hovering above you as he holds his weight on those gorgeous arms of his.

"you alright?"

"m perfect," you slur, "feel so good right now"

"damn right you are- so fucking perfect for me"

He kisses you deeply, with passion, with hunger, and you whine louder than anticipated, turning red instantly. Your ears and cheeks heat up, embarrassment painted across your pretty face. Mingyu seems far too pleased with himself.

"oh, angel, don't- fuck you're so cute like this"

You shut your eyes tight and shake your head, still glaringly red. He sighs, lips curling at the corners.

The fucker was smirking.

"how about I stop teasing, hm? I think you've been good"

"mhm" you nod desperately.

"say it. use your words," his voice is assertive and low, dangerously so, "you've been a good girl for me so far, haven't you doll?"

A moan slips past your lips at his words, and you nod again, mind swiped of any other thought.

"I- fuck, I've been- good" you choke out, chest heaving even though he has yet to touch you.

"that's it, that's my girl"

The bed dips to the side, and you feel his weight leaving the mattress. Walking back to your feet, he kneels again, hooking his arms under your thighs to pull off the remaining athleisure. All you had left were white lace panties, a tiny, tiny, bit of fabric preserving your dignity. He groans at the sight- you had soaked through them completely, arousal coating your inner thighs.

"so fucking wet for me," he mumbles into your thigh, biting down to stifle a groan you suspect he'd been holding back for far too long.

"you like it that much when I call you that? when I call you a good girl?"

"please"

"please?" he echoes.

"please" you say, a little louder, desperation so evident the blind could see it.

Mingyu laughs, clearly pleased with the state you're in.

"so fucking pretty when you beg"

"mingy-oh my god-"

Without warning, he licks a stripe up your clothed sex, and the feeling sends you yearning for more right away. He eases your underwear off, shoving them into his back pocket, and dives right in.

No one has ever made you feel this way before. Not a fucking soul.

The way his lips cradled your sensitive bud, tongue flicking up and down- gentle, but firm- drove you insane. Your mouth hung open, sharp breaths leaving unevenly. His tongue felt fucking electric. Like he knew your body better than you did yourself. A couple minutes in and you can already feel an orgasm building deep in your stomach, a wave of heat ready to crash.

"m-more," you stutter, "please"

"would this be okay?" he asks innocently, detaching himself for a second to show you his thick, veiny hands.

Before you can agree, he slips a digit into you, tongue returning to your sensitive clit right away. His finger coils up inside you, reaching for the spot you'd like most.

It shouldn't surprise you how easily and quickly he finds it, pressing up immediately, but it does. A choked moan leaves your throat, the loudest one thus far, and your eyes shoot down to his in shock.

"how-"

"I know my way 'round here doll, I own this after all, don't I?"

His words are just enough to send you over the edge, and you tremble as he continues to finger you, helping you ride the wave till you stop spasming.

"so g- fuck you feel so good"

He slips his finger out, bringing it to his lips to lap up your juices. The sight of his tongue darting over his fingers has you whimpering pathetically, in need of something more already. Drinking in the sight of him on his knees for you, you soon realize something. His clothes were still on.

"wanna see you" you mumble, "please"

In a swift motion, his shirt's off and his toned torso is on complete display. The deep divots of his abs have you drooling and you find yourself wanting to bite into them and claim him as your own.

"so you do think I'm hot" he smirks as he gauges your reaction.

"get over yourself ugh"

"not when I've got a fucking goddess in bed with me"

"shut up" you roll your eyes. His eyes narrow at you, slight aggression in his tone-

"yeah, I'm gonna have to fuck that attitude out of you. right fucking now."

You reach out to feel his abs but he smacks your hand away, smirking slyly. He runs his hand down his chiseled body, and god you wish those were your hands touching him. The upward quirk of his lips told you that he knew how badly you wanted to touch him. He knew the effect his body had on you.

"can't touch me yet baby," he smirked lazily, "gotta earn it- gotta prove to me how good you can be, hm? gotta take this thick fucking cock like a good little slut- you can do that for me, can't you doll?"

You whimpered, spreading your legs for him greedily and he moans at the sight. Your sopping folds were on display, only for him to see. All of you was on display only for him to see.

"that's it- so fucking needy" He shoved off his sweats.

Breathing heavily, he crawled over you, slow like an animal stalking his prey. The tip of his cock peeked out of his boxers and your mouth watered at the sight, waiting eagerly to see it in all its glory.

He laughed dryly at your reaction. He found you so damn cute. All needy and cock drunk for him. Him alone.

His boxers were soon pushed off, hardened cock springing free right away.

Shit.

He was huge. Thick and veiny and long- fuck so long he'd be able to kiss your cervix right away. Unable to tear your gaze away from it, you bit your lip in anticipation, a mixture of fear and excitement flashing through your bright eyes.

"h- you're so big," you whispered, "so fucking big-"

He grins, sadistically almost.

"that pretty pussy of yours will make room for me though, won't it?" You gasp. Of course, it will, fuck you'd do anything for him. Anything.

"anything for you- anything to feel you in me"

Those words of yours seem to be it for him, and he holds his cock in his hand, slapping it against your clit so you feel his weight.

"this?" he prods, "you want this in you angel?"

Yes. God yes. Your body screams, aches for him. You fucking need this. You need him. Your mind clouds with lust, and you chant his name like a prayer. How badly you needed him- needed his cock to fill you up real good. Fuck if he would just get on with it and stop teasing already, you were so wet for him.

Your prayers are answered, when you feel his tip slide in, slowly, stretching you out in a way no man ever has before. Your pussy tightens as he fills you so deliciously. Locking your eyes onto the way he slid into your pussy, you moaned when you realized that he wasn't even halfway in yet. How you were going to accommodate for his sheer size was beyond you, but god did you feel good with every inch he sunk further.

"min-gy- oh my god" you shuddered, already feeling your stomach tighten when all he'd done was ease himself into you.

"fuck I'm not even all the way in yet" he groans at the way you clench around him.

"please-" Your voice is hoarse and loud.

You grab onto his arm, digging your nails into the hard flesh. Those were leaving marks, for sure.

"more, gyu please"

"fuck," he shivered, bottoming out right away as your back arched under him, "two taps on my thigh if you want me to stop, okay?"

You nod, squirming under him as he starts to move. His thrusts are slower than you expected, but god are they powerful. You'd always expected him to be a hard and fast kind of guy but evidently, he likes to take his fucking time. The bed shook with each thrust, quivering under him just the way you were. The thick, hard vein running along the underside of his cock rubs against your walls so good, you feel your eyes glass over.

"cock's so good it has you crying? hm?" he grunts out, thrusting upward into you, as he leans back into you for a kiss.

His eyes fluttered shut as your lips connected, and he licked at the seam of your mouth for entrance. Glad to oblige, you open up, a moan slipping out before he muffles it with his tongue. He explored the hollow of your mouth, trailing over your tongue like a man starved. You'd stopped breathing for a bit, completely captured by the way he flooded your senses.

His mouth was on your own, dick still thrusting away inside you, chest heaving against yours- he was everywhere.

A hand made its way down to your clit, thumbing tight circles into the oversensitive nub. You moaned, your own hand chasing his to hold his wrist in place. He let out a shallow groan, feeling the way you clamped down around him right away.

"fuck" he rasped, "that's- fuck you're good, so good for me angel" His hips stuttered, cock twitching inside you, and your walls tightened further, ready for release.

"ca-n I cum," you begged, tears pricking at your eyes as his gaze locked onto you, "please gyu"

"cum on my cock doll, fuck, I'm so close- so close you feel so fucking good"

You squeeze him, coming undone at his words, moans dripping past your lips uncontrollably as your back arched- spine tingling from the pleasure.

He followed soon after, pulling out just as he came, hot white ropes shooting out over your stomach. The noises he made were borderline pornographic- the most perfect, erotic groans you'd ever heard, and you could've sworn you heard him whimper just after he pulled out. His body slumped beside yours, arm draped around your waist.

A minute passed in silence. All you could hear was his steadying breath as he tried to regain his composure. You sighed, holding onto the arm around you.

"fuck"

"fuck," he echoed, sighing satisfactorily "c'mere let's get you cleaned up angel"

Gently, he scooped you up in his arms, carrying you so tenderly you could melt. He made his way over to the bathroom, setting you down at the side of the tub as he ran you a bath. While the tub took its time filling up, Mingyu snagged a soft hand towel from your rack and ran it under the tap before wiping you down with the warm cloth. His actions were wordless, save for a few compliments he threw your way seeing how you shone under his touch.

His eyes, however, spoke a language of their own, the string connecting your gaze and his staying taut constantly.

'I love you.' they seemed to be saying, louder and louder despite his silence. There was a desperation in those eyes you couldn't seem to place. A longing.

Your bath was ready. Mingyu shut off the water, and eased you in, feeling how you relaxed in its warmth. He smiled softly, getting in with you right away. You could get used to this... How tenderly he held you against his chest, rubbing soothing circles into your back and shoulders. It almost made you feel special. Almost.

You still couldn't seem to shake the thought that this was a one-night-only affair. That he wasn't in love the way you were. That he would leave.

"y/n" he said, "there's something I'd like to ask you"

"go ahead 'm listening gyu"

"how do you feel-" he started, hesitating when your shoulders tensed, "how do you feel about me?"

"I-"

The words wouldn't come out.

'I love you. I've loved you for so long. I want to be yours Mingyu, I want to fall asleep with you every night and wake up with you every morning. I want to hold your hand and know that this is real- that it's you and me against the world. I want you. To be touched by you, to be loved by you.'

Your throat closed up and the tears you didn't realize you were holding back rolled down your cheeks. Alarmed, Mingyu cupped your face quickly, thumbs swiping away the tears.

"I'm sorry- fuck I'm so sorry this is too soon isn't it?" his panicked, almost guilty voice rang in your ears. "I shouldn't have assumed you felt the same, I'm so sorry y/n"

Wait what?

"you- but I- what?"

The tears had stopped. Your eyes were fixed on his guilty ones.

"I assumed you liked me too"

"too?"

"yes, too. I've liked you since forever- I thought you knew 'cause of how obvious I made it"

"too?" You were dumbfounded. Your mouth felt dry. Your heart thudded against the confines of your ribs. Your lips crashed into his, desperately, passionately.

Taken aback by the sudden kiss, a surprised gasp left Mingyu's lips.

"I like you too, idiot, love you, even" you mumbled against his lips, before he pulled you in once again for a longer, deeper kiss, just like the one you first shared.

Your breaths enmeshed, becoming one, hands holding onto one another desperately. The steady thud in your chest matched his own and you knew this was real.

"I love you more," his eyes shine with such devotion and awe, you feel the air knocked out of your lungs.

You run a finger along his defined chest, earning a shiver in response, and whisper;

"show me, then,"

A sly smile quirks up his lips and he lowers his head into the crook of your neck.

"only if you say please"

[yeahspider]

BITTERSUITE 🌀

Ve's note - angsty and sexy just how i like it. im sick off my ass and eating animal crackers a s i write this but i feel like thats when i work best. hwang hyunjin x gn!reader no warnings this is pretty tame all things considered. hope you enjoy this installment in the series !! link below to read the other parts. lightly proofread (sorry not sorry give me a break I'm sick) love yall xoxo

HMHAS MASTERLIST

this wouldn’t have happened if you’d grabbed your umbrella before you left your room. now you are sitting on a bus stop bench hiding from the rain. you blamed it on him, always bringing rain and storm clouds in his wake. your phone went off- it could only be one person.

what are you doing sitting in the rain

this can't be how you spend your time now

kinda pathetic

you looked around not shocked at all that he was sitting on an identical bench on the opposite side of the road . he always had a way of finding you . it’s like there was a red string tethering you to him . his inner navigation always leading to you .

you blocked his contact . you didn’t want to deal with him. you just wanted to get home. your action just made hyunjin smile. always so cocky. always finding you amusing.

nothing was amusing about your relationship . about the way he tethered you along for months . feeding you empty lies . comforting you with open arms that wrapped around you and tied you hands behind your back . bound is what you were . to the evil that was hwang hyunjin .

you watched as a bus stopped in front of him, relief filtered through you once the bus drove off and he wasnt at the bench anymore. maybe he wasn't there at all. he had a habit if popping up at your low points. settling back in the bench youve becom e so familar with , you start browsing through your gallery . A feeble attempt at wasting time. A certain picture stopped you in your tracks. It was of you and hyunjin, from the begiining of whatever you guys were. His hand wrapped around your front gripping your throat as he kisses the lower part if your ear. A frown makes its home on your face, yiu look so happy - you were happy.

"oh, i love that pic mind sending it to me". you hear from above your shoulder. how predictable he was.

"What do you want hyunjin?" you asked in malice. you didn't want to speak to him right now. the wound he created in your heart all too fresh and steady leaking. you couldn't do this with him right now. all you had wanted was to get something from the gas station. you weren't mentally prepared to deal with him or his stupid smile.

"Now who says I want anything? Maybe I just missed you." his tone is so sickeningly sweet you almost fall for it. almost. You intend to trace your steps back to your hotel room by getting up and stepping out of the safety of the bus stop. quickening your pace to avoid whatever conversation he wanted to have. you could hear him following, his step in time with you. It wasn't like you could hide from him. The suite your staying in he paid for. His attempt at giving you the space you wanted, but within his unrelenting reach. A part of you rejoiced at his effort, his show of care, which was infrequent throughout your time together.

the chase ensued as you stepped into the hotel lobby and up the elevator. standing in front of room 320. turning quickly to face the tormentor of your dreams. you took in his appearance. Soaked from head to toe yet still undeniably beautiful drops slipping from his hair and landing at his feet. you can still see the man you fell in love with. underneath all the layers the world forced him to wear. you took a deep breath hoping you wouldn't regret your next words.

"you can come in until the rain stops...I have a set of dry clothes you can put on," you said as low as a whisper. which of course he heard. for all his shortcomings he always did hear you. That smile that causes a bittersuite taste rises in your mouth spreads across his face. you'd always let him in, your heart was his home after all.

[my-jukebox]

hihi! i have a obey me request that i thought of after reading the hug headcanons w the brothers post you made!! (it was REALLY nice btw <3 i loved it!)

what about mc coming home after a tiring day at RAD and mammon just hugs them n they just have a cute fluffy moment …or!! mammon coming home after a tiring day at RAD, and mc just hugs him n again they have a cute fluffy moment, any of the two are fine since they’re both so cute!! im gonna leave the choice up to ya, cant wait too see what u write <3

- 🃏 anon! :3

I'm so glad you loved the previous post. I brainstormed my best here and tried to make it longer so forgive me if it's not up to the mark. Also God it took so long, I'm sorry.

Genre: Oneshot, Fluff

Characters: (gn! reader), and Mammon.

"Mammon, towards the light!"

The photographer said as Mammon turned towards the light, maintaining his pose. He had been going for hours together with only a ten minute break every hour.

"Majolish is gonna love these pics. Great job today!" was all Mammon heard before he rushed to his studio room and removed his makeup. He looked so tired, to the point where he should've considered getting Asmo to keep the people at bay.

He took deep breaths and finally got some shut eye until—

"Mammon, the next shot is ready!"

"Ahh shit, here we go again!"

Mammon headed out the room and watched as the studio began filling up with multiple models who he was supposed to pose with.

'This is gonna be draining!' He thought as he was being dressed and practically, dragged by his photographer on the stage.

—

The lecture seemed never ending. The professor kept talking about Latin phrases for spells and potions but all you could think about was sleep.

"(Y/N)?" The teacher called out.

"(Y/N)!?" She repeated.

"Yeah!!"

"Are you zoning out? Please pay attention or else you'll fail the midterms."

"Yes, ma'am"

The teacher nodded her head at you and went back to teaching some spells again. You couldn't be bothered. You'd just have to pull up another study session with the brothers again, it seems.

The minute the bell rang, you got up from the bench, refusing to greet anybody as you made your way to the House of Lamentation.

Upon reaching back home, you entered your room to find Mammon asleep on your bed. You gently shook him.

"Mammon, are you alright? It's pretty rare to find you here of all places." You said, voice laced with concern.

"I'm alright. I'm just so tired. When I tell ya' I was like a prisoner there, I'm not kiddin'!!" He said as he looked up at you. He had absolutely no energy left in him.

"There?" You asked, unsure of what he was talking about.

"The modelling studio. Those stupid, little ahhhh.....they weren't letting me rest." He said, clearly annoyed with how his entire day went. You chuckled at his little rage towards his workers before throwing your bag on the floor and removing your shoes, making your way towards the bed.

"Aww baby don't worry. You wanna....cuddle?" You asked him as you watched his cheeks get flushed with different shades of red.

You laughed and opened your arms wide for him. He scowled but still laid down on your chest as you massage his head gently. This moment was all you needed. Especially after a day like this.

"How was your day?" He said softly, so as to not disturb the peaceful moment.

"Eh. You weren't there in class so it wasn't the best." He grinned widely at you response.

"Of course it wasn't the best. The Great Mammon promises to never leave you alone again."

"I'll hold you on that promise."

You hear a low rumble from Mammon, indicating that he was chuckling. You hug him even tighter, never wanting to let go. As you both cuddled, you found yourself finally content and at peace after such an awful day.

And so, you both stayed up the entire night; talking, laughing, joking about everything and nothing at the same time. The night began to fade slowly as you both found yourselves with each other once again, cherishing the eventful moments of closeness as the world outside was asleep.

I finally did it. i got a conclusion at last!

~Masterlist~

Do like, comment and/or reblog if you enjoyed!

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Musings - Tentative Timeline (Pt3a: 1945 - 1950) - ❗REVISIONS❗

These revisions took a minute, y'all, apologies.

HUGE thanks to @usuallydeepalpaca-blog and @alleyskywalker for working with me to make a (hopefully) more precise tentative timeline for S2 -- Pt 1 (1940 - 1948ish: x x) and Pt2 (1949: x x). There's so much unreliable narration from ALL these MCs, so things are very much STILL up in the air wrt chronology, that will likely only be resolved in S3 🙏 (AMC y'all got some explaining to do, cuz this ish REALLY don't make sense!!! 😩). So until then, this is still just a rough guestimate of when events took place in S2, cuz IDFK. 🤦

1945

Mostly I brightened up the dark AF pics I used on all the nodes

Added the rest of the quote from Lou & Claudia's convo to "follow the blackouts," cuz I hate when people complain that S2 wasn't as "glamorous" as S1; when IRL post-war Paris was broke as a joke--the lights flickering on & off in Claudeleine & Loumand's scenes in Ep2 were cuz of continent-wide blackouts during & post-WWII. You can't demand that AMC be historically accurate, then complain about the grim reality of IRL history during & after THE biggest war in Europe.

Adjusted the date range of Lou & Claudia meeting the coven from Nov, to a grace period of Nov/Dec 1945 (IF they arrived 5 months earlier in July, not June)

Adjusted the date range of the Chateau hunt with the coven from mid-Dec, to a grace period of Dec 1945/Jan 1946 (IF they arrived 5 months earlier in July, not June; plus 1 month of Claudia watching their performances)

1946

Small but significant changes:

Added a node of Claudia confirming her hazing period took "weeks"

Bumped Satre up to Spring 1946, before Claudia's initiation--the grace period I gave that scene was too vague/generous

June 29, 1949 - the night Claudia invites Lou to her initiation ceremony

July 6, 1949 - I reckon Claudia's coven initiation was July 6, cuz "at the end of this week" would be Sunday, June 30, so Claudia could've just said "tomorrow" if that's what she meant. So the only other night she could be referring to was July 6th.

Thus, Baby LouLou definitely started performing in the summer (approx. July), not the spring

1947

I split up 1947 - 1949, to isolate everything that happened pre-Roget's interrogation.

I can't count, and miscalculated 500 nights = 16 months instead of 18 months, which effed up the whole thing, omfg I'm stupid! 🤦

So Claudia's 500th performance is December 1947, rather than Fall; sorry y'all.

Added a node for Lou vs art dealer Alois (as in Alois Meidl????)

Added nodes for Lou's convo w/ Dreamstat & Claudeleine's convo, that confirm it's been "two years" that they've been in Paris--so this is definitely 1945 → 1947; esp. if they only met the coven & Madz around Nov/Dec 1945.

Added a node specifically for Santiago's coup, splitting it from Loumand's park bench convo, just for clarity's sake.

1948

Everything from Roget down to Sam's Guido/Godot script has been moved to 1948.

Added a node where Roget mentions the Theatre being closed "a fortnight ago"

Added a node with the coven reading Claudia's diaries b/t the pages of Sam's Guido/Godot script

Added a node for the "God's Light" quote, which is part of the Guido/Godot script

Added a node screenapping Sam's Guido script

Added a node of Madz's SA. I have no idea where in the year this happens, even going by the clothes--that could be anywhere from Spring - Fall. 🤷

Added a node of Armand mentioning Sam's "new pages" for Guido/Godot

1949 - 1950

THIS is where ish gets hella messy

A bunch of Roland-Garros nodes, cuz those are muy importante

July: more of Armand's quote about Loumand's library date

Sept: Armand's quote where he says/lies(?) that the same night Madz was Turned, the coven gave him a "rewrite" of the Trial script

Changed the dates of Louis in the vault from Nov/Dec to Oct/Nov, bumping it up a month, esp. since the Trial HAS to take place in September (IF the Roland-Garros match was Sept 17-18)

Added Lou's Rage & Madness planning (approx 2-3 nights long)

Added the Great Fire of 1949 frame from the Talamasca files

Added the Jan 9, 1950 article about the Theatre burned down

@usuallydeepalpaca-blog pointed out that Lestat probably wasn't referring to THE French Championships, but a different France vs Australia match at Roland-Garros on September 17-18, 1949.

(DANG, I hope the Australians watched their necks in 1949! 💀 They effing won the mens' doubles in that match! 😅)

Jokes aside though, AMC has A LOT of explaining to do here. I'd assumed Les was referring to the 1950 French Championships:

But IF the September 17-18th 1949 games are what Les was talking about, that means he arrived around Sept 5th, and the Trial happened barely two weeks later!? 😰

Which means the rehearsal took barely no time at all; and most importantly: Claudeleine got ZERO TIME to wander. 😩💔

1950

This is a BIG problem, AMC:

Does anyone know what interview this was, where Jacob(?) said Claudeleine were together for months+?

I couldn't find it, but I DID find an interview with Roxane that said basically the same thing, which WORRIES ME.

Cuz "quite a time stretch" just DOES NOT WORK, if September 5, 1949 - January 9, 1950 is THE LIMIT for everything that happens from Madeleine's turning to Madeleine's death.

Which tells me that if anything, AMC's props department effed up not once, but TWICE, and actually had no effing idea when the Theatre burned down. 😅

Regardless, I added the nodes to account for al these shenanigans.

TL;DR: I no longer have any frikkin idea what's going on with the S2 timeline, esp. after Ep6. 😔

I love this show, it's excellent, 100/10. But laaaaawwwwwwd, I'm confused; and TIRED.

[octuscle]

Dude I'm tired of being an overweight white boy, is there a way to get a great body but as a different race? Plus I want to wear nothing but tight leather clothing to show of my new form.

Dude, losing your excess weight and getting a great body only works with hard workouts. But think I can speed up the process. Can you last an hour of workout? I will send you the address of a gym and a training program.

You feel pretty stupid in that gym. Almost only immigrants from the Arab region here. And all well worked out. Your milky white skin alone makes you stand out like a sore thumb. And you are also the only one who carries such a paunch in front of him. Nevertheless, you're going through with it. First task: Ten minutes on the rowing machine. Fuck, after just one minute you're drenched in sweat. But then it gets better. And better. Fuck, your belly really melts. As if you sweat it out. And your skin gets darker. As if you were working in the open air. After ten minutes you stand up. You are slim. Tanned. Fuck, great, actually that's enough for you as a result. But according to the training program, you should now get on the weight bench and work out your chest.

After the second set, you reach your limits. Another visitor to the gym helps you with the last repetitions. He asks you "'akhi, hadhih hi almarat al'uwlaa alati 'arak fiha huna. hal 'ant eudw jadid fi salat al'aleab alriyadiati?" You smile and answer that you are indeed here for the first time. You are not a member yet. But you intend to become one. Your brother fitsbumpt you and asks if you want to work out the next set together. "'akhi, 'ana 'aqum bieamaliaat alsahb lil'asfal alan. 'iidha kan hadha mnasban lika, fasayakun min dawaei alsharaf 'an 'atadarab maeka." He chimes in and you work out your backs together until your latissimus burns.

After an hour, your workout is actually over. But you and your new bro continue to work out. You have discovered that your grandparents are both from the same village in Syria. Maybe you really are cousins. At least you both wear the same beard and have the same hairstyle. Okay, that goes for almost all the guys here at the gym…. By the time you're done, it's almost 11:00. Time to dive into the nightlife. Luckily, you've already brought your gear.

In the underground garage a check in the mirror of the windows of your Cadillac XT4. Satisfied? Remember an overweight white lad? I don't. And neither does anyone else here at the gym.

Your hot pic found @osoalvaro

[scekrex]

Crack fic, I choose you!

Adam and reader sitting in a park, enjoying the nice day, some other angels on the benches next to them starting up a conversation about kids, not really recognizing Adam without his mask and just some normal clothes instead of his robe, how they adore their kiddos, watching them run around and play and Adma just going "Well, if you're a parent with children, don't leave them around me... PAUSE!! *nervous loud laugh* STOP!! I meant like, I'm going to teach them bad words!". The two angels looking horrified at Adam before chuckling nervously, standing up, getting their kids and flying away, reader absolutely face-palming and wondering why the hell did he marry this dumbass before turning to Adam, smacking the back of his head and going "Absolute idiot. Wait. DID YOU TEACH OUR KID BAD WORDS??? SHE'S FOUR" and Adam just replying with "I DON'T KNOW WHAT, WAS WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HER???"

Luv, luv, luv, luv, luv ya 🤌💞

Luv ya even more babes also where did the Adam pics go u used to send w ur asks???? anyway, here ya go, xoxo

Chaotically chaotic

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

Your little daughter was running around the park, she was a cheerful little girl, full of energy and an extrovert through and through. She made it seem so easy whenever she came up to you with another kid by her side, telling you and Adam about her newest friend.

Adam had decided to leave the house without his mask, a thing he had started doing more often since the two of you had adopted your adorable little daughter. When he had first put it on in front of her, she had started to cry and scream her lungs out and only stopped when Adam took it off again and assured her it was still him. She really didn't like that thing, she'd always trace her hands over Adam's stubbled chin and tell him that he's pretty and he doesn't need to cover his face.

And because that and the fact that the mask scared her, he decided to leave it at home today. That, and because there were other kids around too, other grown ups as well, he just thought it would be a more relaxed environment to let his daughter play in. So he not only ditched the mask but also his robe, instead he was wearing a black T-shirt with an red ‘A’ painted on the front of it, he had done it himself and it certainly did look that way but Adam had simply said it gave the rock vibe he wanted it to have so it didn't really matter.

A couple sat down next to you as they watched their children play with your daughter and had a light hearted conversation. “They grow up so fast, I remember that it was just yesterday when we taught them how to walk properly,” the woman said as she seemed to be reminiscing. “It’s truly amazing how quick they caught onto things,” her husband agreed with a proud nod.

Adam was eager to jump into that conversation, due to the fact that he wasn't dressed like usual and people barely saw him without his mask the couple didn't recognize him. Well, he sure as fuck didn't mind that. “Well, if you're a parent with kids, don't fucking leave them around me,” his words were met with silence and it was just then that he realized what he had said. “Pause, no wait, stop,” he was quick to add, panic was audible in his voice as a nervous laughter escaped him and he avoided looking at the couple, “By that I mean I'm gonna teach ‘em bad words n shit.”

The couple looked at each other, then they looked over to Adam and you, they both seemed absolutely and utterly horrified by what Adam had just said and while the brunette kept assuring them that he had really just been talking about slurs and cuss words, the couple got up with a nervous chuckle and called out for their kids. They were leaving.

You hid your face in your hands in embarrassment and sighed. Once the couple was gone you turned to Adam, “Absolute idiot,” you mumbled as you smacked the back of head lightly, that didn't shake the stupid grin from his lips that had appeared once the angelic couple had left the park. “Remind me why I married your stupid ass again?” you mumbled as you watched your daughter find someone else to play with. “Because my ass is fucking good when it comes to fucking you and,” he gripped your chin and tilted your head his way, “Because I'm irresistible and you love me with every single bit of your shitty little heart.” As if to prove a point he poked your chest playfully.

It was then that realization hit you, “Wait, you taught our daughter bad words?” you asked out of the blue and Adam's confident grin was replaced by a shy smile that gave you enough of an answer. “She’s four!” you exclaimed only to get a “I don't know what I'm supposed to do with her!” back.

You shook your head with a small grin on your lips, typical Adam. “Don’t fucking know, teach her how to play guitar or something.” Adam seemed to actually consider your advice, then gave you a nod in agreement. That wouldn't change anything about how he was going to continue to teach her bad words though, you didn't have to know, at least not now.

[circusinthewalls]

SEMI-NSFW Soap Ramblings - 18+ MDNI, AGELESS BLOGS DNI

(CW: Implied Eating Disorder) [Masterlist]

Johnny couldn't remember the last time he'd seen you in the mess hall. Not consistently, at least. Felt like it'd been weeks since you'd been in there for all three meals.

And of course, he saw you at other times of the day, saw you throughout the base here, and there, but he missed eating with you. Your warmth at his side on the bench was something he didn't realize he'd gotten so used to. He wanted you back. Wanted you home, if home could ever be a place next to him.

Now he's wandering into your room like a lost puppy, slipping in past the cracked door and crawling into bed with you. It startles you at first when he drapes an arm over your side, the feeling drawing you quickly out of your half-asleep state, but then he mutters your name and that thick brogue let's you know that it's just him cozied up against your back.

Tension eases out of your muscles at the familiarity. Johnny's always been welcome in your bed. Such is par for the course with the platonic intimacy you share. You greet him with a small hum when he noses against your nape.

"Tired, lovie?" he queries, voice low and soft.

You give another hum and a confirming nod in response. Tutting, he presses a kiss to the base of your skull.

"Figured y'must be. Missed you at dinner."

Guilt twists in you at the prospect. If food itself was at all appetizing lately, maybe you wouldn't leave him alone so often. Would it be stupid to simply sit with him during meals even if you didn't have anything?

To not eat in the place made for eating feels.. odd, and part of you would rather avoid it altogether, but... Hm.

You're brought back to reality when you feel Johnny's lips starting to mark a path toward the crook of your neck. You whine, shrinking up out of instinct, already knowing that he'll be relentless when he does find that sensitive spot.

"Don't hide me from me," he breathes against your skin. "Had t'get your attention somehow. 'S what ya get for spacing out on me."

"Mmn, that's not fair," you protest, squirming and trying not to laugh when he leans over a bit, giving himself the leverage to shove his face properly in against your neck. "Bastard- I can't help it!"

"Och, I know!" he huffs, kissing more fervently. "Ye ken I miss ya, though. Can't be mad at me for wanting to make up for lost time."

You scoff and finally turn your head to look at him, mouth open to speak. A gasp escapes in the place of words, however, brought about by none other than the Scot's mouth latched onto you, suckling on that tender little section of skin he's borderline infatuated with.

There's no stopping the way you mewl and whimper, muscles somehow relaxed and yet entirely taught under his ministrations. Whatever you'd been about to say a second ago is completely forgotten. Frankly, you don't care to try and remember, either.

One of your hands comes up to thread loosely in his short strands, pleading silently for him to continue. He could leave behind a dozen marks if he really wanted. You wouldn't mind a bit.

"Such bonnie noises," he mutters, pulling off.

Disappointment at the sudden loss has you blinking up at him, lips tugging into a pout.

"C'mon, none of that now. Never said I was done," he mutters and thumbs away the saliva left behind, "but I brought you somethin'."

You watch then as his hand withdraws to dip into the side pocket of his fatigues, searching.

Oh. Maybe there was a reason behind his visit after all.

---------------------------------------------------

Meant to get this out wayyy sooner, but uhh sometimes life hits you with a silly goofy little mental breakdown and you download Grindr only to regret it after being sent like 40+ dick pics in the span of an hour. Woops.

Anyway, part two out soon, so keep an eye out! Feel free to ask to be tagged if you're interested. o7

Writing not permitted for reposting, transcription, translation or to use with AI technologies.

Taglist: @phrog-seeds

[imalayla]

I'm so ready for the back yard to be finished 😭 I hate it so much right now! We're much closer but still have so far to go.

I've almost got the trench fixed around the patio. I'm pulling the river rocks back up and laying sediment blocking fabric over the gravel and then covering it with soil.

Both humans and dogs hate walking on them and since we walk around the patio a lot, I want it to be covered back up and pleasant to walk on. I'm leaving the gravel and river rock exposed where the roof line is, since that's where the rain falls into the dirt. Exposed gravel will help with erosion and allow the rain to get into the trench better. Just the area around the patio and then the walkway to the gate is being covered in dirt.

Then we have to figure out what sort of grass/plants to plant in the bare dirt. I may just cover it in mulch for the winter.

Once I'm done with that, we have to fix the patio. This will most likely involve a jack hammer to get the rest of the flagstones and mortar up, since the contractor pulled up half of them. The concrete slab underneath is fairly smooth and pleasant to walk on, so we are just going to pull the rest of the stones and mortar up to allow the concrete to be bare. It'll be easier to clean too. I also need to level out the walking path stones.

Once we are done with that monumental task, we have to pour concrete in the gap that he jackhammered between the concrete walkway and the patio, and fill in the holes he put in the patio concrete.

After that, it'll just be fixing the water spout, getting a hose box to contain that, and maybe some sort of storage bench to store our garden tools. Ugh I hate it so much but I'm so tired of hating the backyard. We've lived here for 3 years dammit, I want to enjoy sitting back there!!!! I want to put bird feeders up and flowers and bushes, not worrying about the stupid trench and patio.

Here's some pics of it so far.

[sterekchub]

I’ve been in a MOOD lately (and Tyler’s pics on his IG in that suit were EVERYTHING) so - have a quick massive!Slob!Derek and waiter!Stiles that I wrote for our discord.  Like it or just want to talk some fat fandoms! Join us:   https://discord.gg/Egyuwx29 (18+ pleaseee) 

Derek waddles in one day at his usual time (Stiles knows to expect him- he's always pulled in at 12:00 on the dot, but now his walk to the front door gets longer and longer. Today Stiles watches him for several minutes have to lift his belly away from the steering wheel and swing himself sideways to get out...and he has to stop 3 times to catch his breath).

He sits down in his usual table (the one with a booth only on one side because Stiles had to unscrew it from the ground and push it far enough back Derek could fit his enormous belly in it, and the bench seat is the only thing wide enough to support his beanbag-sized rear end.)

He's still a panting a bit, red in the face and immediately chugs down the pitcher of soda Stiles brings him...doesn't even bother to pour it into his glass.

"Mmm...you smell like a fryer."

"Shut - *wheeze*-  up. This is the only suit that fits."

Stiles eyes the suit with amusement. The once white shirt is now off-white with sweat stains and grease stains and numerous stains from countless meals. There are 3 buttons missing and the shirt is several inches from covering the flab that spills out over Derek's waistband and nearly to his knees. Stiles hasn't seen him wearing his suit jacket in at least three years.

"And?"

"...and I haven't been able to fit into my shower for a week," Derek grumbles. "Stupid glass doors."  

He fails to mention his car is filled almost to the ceiling with fast food bags and Stiles can *tell* that Derek's had a sizeable breakfast from the way his remaining buttons are stained tightly and Derek keeps lightly rubbing the side of his gut with one hand.

Stiles only grins and hands him the menu, which Derek takes with sticky, sausage sized fingers. "Nothing a big lunch can't fix."

 ****

 Derek orders his usual - which means he burps out he'll have the burger and fries with a small coke. And as usual, Stiles brings over a refilled pitcher of soda, a fryer basket worth of fries and a triple-patty burger, kisses Derek on the cheek and tells him, "Get started on this, Big Guy. I'll start cooking the rest."

He's long since given up on the polite, slow bites of his former self, when he used to feign he was full and leave his meals half empty so he didn't get bloated and ruin his constantly trim figure. Now he digs in, grease and cheese dripping from the burger onto his sagging moobs. He barely takes a pause, shovels it all in, stops only to guzzle down some soda or let out the occasional belch, and goes back to eating.

When there are only a few fries left, Stiles has come over balancing several trays in his arms. Gnocchi, meat-lovers calzone, lobster mac & cheese, a full loaf of garlic bread...and Derek knows that with Stiles in the kitchen? He's loaded as much cream, cheese, and butter into the dishes as he possible can. 

It's been their flirting, on-and off game for years. Derek will push himself to the max and eat as much as he can, ignoring the crumbs  accumulating on the shelf of his moobs and belly or the pasta sauce smeared over his pudgy cheeks and triple chins, and then sits there as his belly starts grumbling and churning in protest from the heavy weight of all that food sitting in it. Stiles comes over and stands behind him, tells Derek to keep eating as he works on massaging out some of the fullness. Derek dutifully struggles to reach over his stuffed belly and reach for a few more bites- the effort of even that little movement in combination with Stiles' ministrations making Derek let out several long, loud farts. A few hundred pounds ago, he used to be embarrassed by it. He’d make his excuses and hurry off to the bathroom or try or clink his fork loudly against the plate to cover up the sound. He couldn’t hurry anywhere anymore, and he knew Stiles took the sounds of gas from his overworked stomach to mean one thing – his compliments to the chef for the rich, caloric overload. "Sounds like you have room for dessert."

"*Urrrp* give me *huff* a minute, Stiles. Don't think I *uaaarp*didn't notice the *ffffrtttttt* triple portion of gnocchi today."

*** He loses two buttons during dessert as he eats his way through the entire pan of tiramisu. Stiles does miss when Derek could slip away and meet him in the pantry or bathroom stalls for a quick make out session and sloppy blow jobs... Derek's long gotten too fat to fit in the restaurant bathroom, and the door to the pantry had also proven to be too tight a fit- even if he could easily get to his feet after such a big lunch without assistance.  And finding Derek’s dick buried in his fatpad and under his rolls of lard is a strenuous, soon to be impossible, activity by itself. So when Derek is done eating, Stiles is painfully hard but reluctantly helps Derek to his feet and walks him to his car, having to barely shuffle his feet to keep up with Derek’s slow waddle.  

“I’ll see you at home tonight?”

Derek nods, sweat already beginning to drip down his face from the strenuous, 200 feet walk to his car.

“I’ll bring home dinner.” Derek only burps in response.   

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

TODAY ON Me Never Shutting TF Up About OrangeJuiceVerse:

Let’s talk abt the Disaster Duo.

Aka Kenny McCormick and Stan Marsh. These two… smh they really are each other’s enablers (as Ky pointed out here) in all things. Naturally, I have headcanons that haven’t seen the light of day yet.

Aight so if u know the ojverse, you know that our sweet leading man Stanley Marsh absolutely thinks of Kenny as his Blood Brother In Desperation (someone get this man (me) away from FOB’s discography) and the platonic stenny bond is SO real. They’re always down to do stupid shit together and are 100% the reason Kyle has high blood pressure.

Kenny, on more than one occasion, has done some shit like gone up to Stan like “hey dude you wanna climb the water tower” and Stan didn’t even question it he was just “sure why not” when I say Marj and Kyle were sooo pissed bc Kenny fell off the ladder and knocked Stan off too on the way down lmfao these two idiots were in so much trouble for hurting themselves in a completely avoidable way.

Oh my GOD they set shit on fire all the time out here trying to start a grill because they’ve dubbed themselves the “grillmasters” and then suddenly Stan has no arm hairs. BOTH of them have threatened to drink lighter fluid at minor inconveniences.

As referenced here, Kenny, as a true weirdo artist boy (I’m projecting) once mixed acetone and resin INDOORS (he and Stan were drunk and not thinking) and the fumes were so strong that Stan deadass passed out and it was soooo stupid Kyle was so mad at them. With bigger projects throughout their ENTIRE lives if Ken is like building a big ass sculpture or sum he’s going to Stan and like Cartman will go out to the backyard of the Survivor House to see them dangling from the roof to get the top parts on and just sends a pic in the groupchat to get them in trouble smh

Oh my god I’ve mentioned that Stan had a parkour phase in middle school (referenced here) and who was with him trying to do backflips and vault over walls? Kenneth. This one time they were like “dude we should expand our gymnastics skills” “oh yeah for sure” and they started trying to do that two person cartwheel thing and they THOUGHT they got it down and went to show Kyle but they completely busted their asses like landing in a tangle of limbs and shit (Kenny died) bruh Kyle was SO fuckin mad like “THE FUCK ARE YALL DOIN THAT IN THE STREET FOR” and Stan was all “uhhh cuz it’s a flat stretch of ground? Duh” dumbasses

Canonically in the OrangeJuiceVerse these two are both school mascots (Stan only for the season Kenny played basketball, Kenny through the entirety of hs) and have stupid signature moves that they do in the “stank ass cow suit”. Like Kenny literally gets shot out of a cannon to kickoff football games and Stan does flips that are seriously not safe with the low visibility in a mascot head they actually have no sense of self preservation until someone gets hurt. Ohhh my god one time at a football game Stan was benched for whatever reason and he was BORED so he’s bothering Marj and Kenny and the other cheerleaders and he was full on “wait Ken stand on my shoulders and find Ky in the crowd” so they’re walking around the track like that (stunt buddies at their peak) and no one is watching the game they’re just distracted by whatever tf these two have going on and then the coach notices and is like “goddamnit MARSH! Get on the field!” Smh mans got unbenched for his own safety how ironic

As kids? No one went harder playing superheroes than these two. Cartman may have been the one leaning too hard into the “marketing” side of things (“fatass you can’t call yourself that! It’s a fucking slur!”) but Stan and Kenny were out here terrorizing construction sites bc there was so much cool shit to climb

Even as adults the shenanigans don’t stop dude Stan and Kyle drove over to the city to see Ken and Marj and Ky woke up in the middle of the night and Stan wasn’t there he went to get Marj “dude wake up the guys are gone” guess where the Disaster Duo was? Trying to get into a closed water park by digging under the fence. Yes they were in Trouble.

And when they’re older and Stan’s sober so you’d think he’d be slightly less inclined to do dumb shit? NOPE! He and Kenny are going WAY too hard at paintball and Stan falls off the top of an obstacle bc he was in “sniping mode” and “it’s like irl Fortnite!”

On their own? These two are fairly tame with some exceptions. Together? Someone needs an emergency room.

[samkat10423]

More Hidden Springs

The main park (?) in town was renovated by @webbymom - one of the Sims Daily site owners. She was also one of the creators over at the old Sims Three Musketeers site. Anyway, I did make some changes because - like I said earlier - no extra party CC was used in any of the original lots. First thing I did was replace the fountain she had with that carousel because my sims like using it. Then, in the big open area in the front of the lot, I placed 2 of those invisible skating objects Sandy made over on Around the Sims 3. They allow sims to skate on parking lots - or in this case, a park - without using those rinks EA designed. I also added the flags, MsPoodle's bike rental object, benches, more lampposts, and different trees. Plus, I edited the parking lots and used those parking meters that are in-game. In that little building she made, I redid the bathrooms, then made the other side into a very small ice cream shop. And I gave them some tables outside.

Across the street is this little B&B made by @purzelsims, called the Golden Duck. It's zoned as a resort, and she had placed the resort tower in a basement. I have the rug, so I got rid of most of the basement and used what was left for a small laundry room.

There are actually 2 floors with rooms that sims can rent, along with the ground floor with dining and check-in. But, since all of the rooms are similar, I only took pics of the one floor. She originally had them all decorated the same, using the same patterns on all the furniture. But I like variety, so I mixed it up a bit. I may go back in and reduce the number of bathrooms since currently every room has one. And in all of the B&Bs that I've stayed in, that just doesn't happen. And I'll probably change out that long, green rug in the hallway with some of B5Studio rugs.

On the outside, I added signage that Sandy created for hostels and there's even a sign with ducks. I also added that electrical box, the drainpipes and an air conditioner.

Where EA had plunked down that criminal hideout from the basegame, I decided to use the one that I think came from Barnyard Bay. So, I made this little lot, and it is now called the Smuggler's Cove and is listed on the National Registry for historical sites. Hence the concrete plague. Anyway, I used a lot of plants from Supernatural here, so honest sims can go mushroom hunting here if they want some.

This is the new town gym created by cutsocks that I found over on Mod the Sims. I didn't change the interior much at all, but I did add parking out front and placed that bus stop shelter. Inside, about the only thing I did, was delete some bathrooms and replaced them with that sauna that came with Sunlit Tides,

This is just that EA lot that came with that one stuff pack. In the renovation of this town, Purzel did make an open school, but since I'm a lazy player, I decided to use this one instead. The only changes I did do, was to give the kids more playground stuff and that soccer set that Sandy made for kids.

And finally, this is a lovely little lot created by @lilidebergerac. It's a small park where sims can stay overnight in treehouses. About the only thing I did on this lot was add that archery object that Sandy created. Anyway, it's out in that area where all the weirdos live - hence the dirt roads. (Thank you, Lili! My sims love this lot!)

And then my game said, "Enough already!" and that was the end of game play for today. But right before it did, I was checking out all the lot sizes for the houses. And OMG!!! EA went crazy with over-sized lots in this world. Most of them - even the ones in town - are like 30x40. And they get bigger the farer out you go. Stupid. And I'm thinking lazy. But such is EA.

[simcatcher-ts2]

I'm kind of proud of this (actually there're two of them!) wolf :)

Think i'd like my papa to be near as well if there was a wolf next to me!

but actually dad's pretty busy already

And we're now short of a bench. It's okay though, there are still plenty other seats around.

Now everyone busy themselves while I try to find Rhan for some rope jumping.

turns out it wasn't the rope she jumped...

Hapu's logic and art are almost maxxed! His parents would love him to work on his body skills, or gardening ones but hey!

I wish I could say these 4 simoleons were very welcome but, since familyfunds still refuses to work and i couldn't get around to change it in SimPe... they're basically rich!

Such a pretty pic imo!

You'd think she'd come to hate Rhan too by now xD she's only lucky jealousy's now been turned off for a while! let's just hope Timu doesn't propose, spares us a little drama.

The nausea should be gone by now shouldn't they :(

Timu seems to share my concern.

Kiya: you lost again.

Iva: that's a stupid game. as if we had time to play, with all the tomatoes and all.

Now that's unexpected.

... finally? :)

and as Vhra and Iva seem to have made peace, Rhan's pregnancy accounts for some... appetites

That shouldn't bother Timu so much >:)

Yay! The hunt today was fruitful! In spite of their needs all red, you know the drill.

[crystalelemental]

And finally, Kieran and Carmine interactions.

Kieran and Amarys is just Amarys offering encouragement for him coming back. Unfortunately she is very unaware of what her own feelings are so nothing neat.

Kieran and Drayton is Drayton being a dick as payback for Kieran’s edgelord phase.

Unrelated but Lacey and Poppy talk, and Lacey offers her cookies. I know this because I fucked up what I was doing and sent Kieran away by moving forward a day but we’ll get back to him because we accidentally got Carmine at last.

Carmine and Crispin talk. Just about how Kieran’s doing. It’s fine.

Carmine and Penny is hilarious. Carmine wants an updated profile pic and Penny, straight as ever, is like “you’re really pretty so it won’t matter who takes it,” and it turns out Carmine responds to praise with extreme enthusiasm, frustrating Penny.

Carmine and Drayton is Drayton begging to copy her homework and Carmine being like fuck you.

Carmine and Arven is Carmine asking about special feelings and Arven missing the point entirely.

Carmine and Nemona is Carmine asking Nemona the secret to her training and getting an unsatisfactory answer that ends in Nemona offering to battle without holding back.

Kieran and Nemona is Nemona encouraging him that he only trained that hard because he really likes Pokemon, which…sure.

Kieran and Arven talk about their close Pokemon pals. Kieran mentions Arven, who he benches.

Kieran and Lacey is just Lacey being like “what’s past is past,” and helping him catch up on studies.

Carmine and Kieran has Carmine finally tell him he looks stupid. Fucking finally.

Kieran and Crispin is just Crispin being kinda nice. He and Kieran are gonna watch shows together.

Carmine gets Amarys apples when she visits Kitakami. Apparently Amarys prefers those kinds of apples, and does still life paintings of them. If I had BP left I’d try getting her to talk to Hassel or Brassius.

Carmine sees Lacey go off with a boy who wanted to talk (love confession), and Lacey tells her yeah he brought her to an empty classroom to talk, but once she told him who her dad was he took off. Carmine’s like “damn girl you’re more ruthless than you look.”

[screamingaboutaceattorney]

liveblogging the great ace attorney: the adventure of the great departure-trial part 3

hoo boy. been a while, huh? sorry about that, i don't have an excuse. however! i'm here now, for an..... admittedly stupid reason (i saw a compilation of this game's prosecutor objecting and needed to know if it was real or not)

again, sorry for the shitty quality, i can't transfer pics off of my switch for shit. i did add image ids this time though!

reactions under the cut! also i won't have screenshots for all of my thoughts cause i took like a hundred screenshots and there just isn't room

oh shit women weren't allowed in the courtroom unless they were testifying (or on trial probably)? did not know that but also i'm not a lawyer irl nor do i want to be one it kinda sounds like hell

ma'am did you steal this (also love how everyone's crowded behind the defense bench it's very cute)

also apparently susato is sixteen, which means no forced heterosexuality! yay!

something about curare, continuing the long tradition of ace attorney giving fictional elements stupid names (except atroquinine, but i am deeply deeply attached to aa4's characters and story so i might be biased)

edit: i’m an idiot and curare is a real thing. thank you for correcting me @addicted-to-12th-intro!

will you just shut the fuck up

man this poison is like a really fucked up way to die? goddamn

sorry for pics of auchi twice in a row but that's not. there are no rules about this shit

oh she's racist yuck (this might not be a new thing idk it's been over a year since i last played the game)

I'M????????????? MA'AM WHAT THE HELL

AND THEN SHE'S FINE? WHAT THE FUCK

phoenix's true ancestor istg /j

do you think about me being a lawyer often? gayass

bro WHAT

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

GOD THAT'S SUCH A FUNNY SPRITE HOLY SHIT

alright i'm sorry i just had to share that

HOSONAGA WHY AREN'T YOU DOING ANYTHING THIS IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM

AND THEN SHE JUST FUCKING DESTROYED THE EVIDENCE???? WHAT

yeah i can't excuse that actually that was really fucking dumb of you

okay i hate to agree with auchi here i really do but the thing about ryu "just remembering" the bloodstain is pretty out there

hosonaga apparently is here to save my ass and be really. pretty weird actually

like thanks for bringing the evidence but maybe care about what your superiors think of it

also is this a regular occurrence cause if so maybe. do something about that.

cackling at the judge calling hosonaga "man" that's really fucking funny

god okay this next part took me FOREVER cause i didn't realize i could examine the evidence while presenting it and i was down to my last badge before i figured it out it was awful but! i did it!

you do not fucking have one bestie you're like. an english major i'm pretty sure don't quote me on that it's been a while

auchi says i wasn't invited, which i'm fairly certain is incorrect something tells me i was in fact invited to my own trial

in a truly shocking turn of events, the witnesses from the very beginning are back! and when i say "a truly shocking turn of events" i mean "i didn't think anyone cared enough to bring them back after like nineteen hours of the trial"

so see a chiropractor? (sorry)

the witnesses come in and are kinda funny? maybe? idk this trial has been going on for a very long time and my brain is melting out of my ears

hosonaga wants to say something! which thank god he's like the only reliable witness in the courtroom. maybe he's misinformed sometimes but goddamn it seems like he's doing his best

he was at the restaurant looking for a thief which he maybe said before? again this trial is LONG

nosa is apparently the thief of la carneval! which isn't. too surprising tbh that was going to be one of the witnesses and brett is obviously the killer while there's no reason for korekuta to steal from himself

nosa is trying to pin the blame on his infant son which. is quite a choice. a really funny choice, but still. a choice

oh he has a breakdown! it's pretty entertaining tbh i don't really have anything against it

oh fuck this is actually kinda sad

like he just wants to provide for his son and he's not paid hardly at all i feel bad for him

i do kinda wish he wasn't here cause the stuff with him and korekuta is just dragging the trial out longer than necessary but aside from that? i have nothing against this choice

also i love how his mustache is all crumpled after his breakdown and then stays that way for the rest of the trial jgkalsjglkasjg

don't make a persona 5 reference don't make a persona 5 reference don't-

brett wants to leave and like fair enough this whole trial has been going on for way too long i want to leave too but goddammit let me indict you please i'm so tired

didn't phoenix say this to apollo in turnabout trump in regards to the ace /j

brett is going to have tea with the minister of justice which like. how the FUCK do you know them you're studying chemistry or whatever just because you're british does NOT mean you know that guy i'm going insane and losing my mind

GET HER ASS

nosa says he does not have the balls to ask brett if he can hide a stolen item in her food which. fair i wouldn't either and she one million percent killed a man

also why are you shoving you baby back behind your shoulder everyone is aware of him by now

but there was time for snappy naming, apparently

brett is trying to eat her mask now, apparently. doesn't seem like a particularly healthy meal to me but go off ig maybe it's different in britain

the other steak has blood on the plate! hooray! i've won! probably hopefully please god

WHAT THE FUCK THAT SWAN IS ALIVE

goddamn that's a breakdown and a half

is that what you call it

did i call her having a place for a gun in her outfit? i'm so certain i did. it being under her skirt tracks though it's not like anyone could look without. issues.

ma'am this is not a misdemeanor you fucking murdered a man

KAZUMA WHAT

did this bitch just draw his sword in a courtroom and cut off the prosecution's topknot from across the room

AND THEN JUST FUCKING SAY THAT? SAY YOU'RE A HOMOSEXUAL AND GO, SIR

what the fuck is this mission that the judge is talking about

don't like that expression!

oh ryu's on the witness stand for the verdict, that's cute

FJLKASJGLAKSJGLASG AUCHI HASN'T FUCKING MOVED SINCE KAZUMA CUT HIS TOPKNOT THAT'S REALLY FUNNY

post trial time! apparently kazuma's sword is a family heirloom or something. idk what does it mean when someone says "this is the spirit of my family clan"

he's bringing the sword to britain? good fucking luck with that bestie

oh this man is GAY gay huh

ah. brett's not gonna face consequences for her crimes. fuck

oh susato's so nice and helpful and i appreciate her doing my paperwork for me thank you ma'am

idk, mia, belief in your client?

oh shit i was right

wait. wait fuck. wait fuck the next case is case two how bad are these parallels gonna be shit

i'm already attached too FUCK

yeah that's not gonna be a thing for another hundred years or so idk when this game takes place

oh boy kazuma wants to ask me a favor and ryu has already basically agreed so they're clearly dating (please god let me be wrong about the mia parallels)

again, i am an english student or. whatever

she was in the courtroom for five minutes sir

LMAO THE HOSONAGA DISS

and that's the end of the trial! hopefully the next case won't take nearly as long to get out, but we shall see! until next time!

[clarktooncrossing]

HELLO THERE PEOPLE OF TODAY AND ROBOTS OF TOMORROW! IT'S ME, CLARK!

Happy National Cartoonists Day, everyone! What, you didn't think my current computer crisis would stop me from celebrating the Holiday, did ya? Actually, it almost did. Y'see, despite this piece being drawn by hand, my computer's scanner wouldn't save the file onto my craptop. My computer's going through a processing error, meaning it's set to stop working any day now. Fortunately this hunk'a junk managed to work just long enough for me to upload the newest Sketch BOOM! Yes my friends, the Sketch BOOM is back! I figured if I could only post one thing for NCD it might as well be something covered head to toe with cartoons. Some pretty well drawn cartoons too, if you pardon me tootin' my own horn. It just feels so good to have drawn something, have it come out looking as good as it does, and to be able to upload it here on tumblr for you all to see. For the record though, screw tumblr's stupid@$$ upload size limit, I freak'n hate websites that do that! It makes me as mad as a blood-cursed Croczilla fighting a sentient mobile home, but we'll get to that in a bit. For now though, let's see what silly sketches managed to make their way onto the page, starting from the top left corner and making our way down.

Don't forget to be on the lookout for the Snow Conies, the tiny sentient species of snow cones that have invaded almost every part of the page! Can you spot all 8?

[1] DID SOMEONE SAY PIZZA? You wanna know what the downside is of drawing at the bottom of the page and working your way up is? You have tiny pockets of blank space that you're unsure what to do with. Such was the case was this corner, having been left blank after drawing #2. For a while I thought of filling the void with a cosmically charged Snow Conie in the same vein at Rosie, but the Cosmic Cutie was already part of the BOOM due to Discord shenanigans. Instead I opted for a Clarktoon that sadly hasn't been drawn in a while, that being the ever-goofy Pizza Monster. No doubt he was lured here by the scent of all the pretzel pizzas I've been eating lately. While he was here I decided to experiment with his expressions, adding more cheek to his smile. Honestly I think he looked better without them. Still, I'm happy to see him here as I hope all of you are. Now if only he'd stop hogging all the grub!

[2] EYE OF THE THERIAN Rosie isn't the only character here due to Discord shenanigans. At the beginning of every month my friend @Foxhatart opens herself up to sketch suggestions on her Kofi page. For the record, those of you wanting to help out another artist keep food in their bellies can click here. With a few of these Kofi slots still left open, Fox came to her friends asking if they had any ideas for pics involving her characters. Not knowing a ton about her characters, I joked that she ott'a draw her half-lemur girl Cath bench press a bus, her freakish strength having become a reoccurring gag via game nights. Funny as the idea was, I didn't expect Fox to actually do it. You can imagine my surprise when this popped up in my inbox a few days later. Consider this doodle a long overdue 'thank you'. Here we see the crazy Cath lifting weights with, of all peeps, Bumper! No doubt the little marshmallow's here for moral support since he can't actually build up any muscle mass. Ghost problems, am I right? Hope you enjoy this silly little sketch, Fox. Next time I'll have Cath bench-pressing your mortal nemesis; a train.

[3] TOOK ME LONG ENOUGH Despite what I said about Pizza Monster, he actually wasn't the last sketch to be included. No, that honor goes to the metal mercenary, the bodacious bot bounty hunter, the anarchistic anti-hero herself; Candy Banger! Much like the aforementioned monster I figured it had been too long since I drew Candy or really any of the robotic cast of 3K. Atop of that, Candy represented a good chance for me to use the stockpile of poses I've saved up from a thumb drive. Using one from a tumblr site called @posereference turned out to be surprisingly easier than anticipated, the only real flaw in the end being how I colored her. This is one of many coloring errors I made on this piece, Candy's hair looking more bluish purple than I had intended. Still, considering I drew her at all, I doubt Candy's complaining. Here's hoping I can draw more of her in the future, otherwise I might be riddled with bullet holes like that wall behind her. 

[4] AN AVERAGE DAY AT WHIMSYLAND And thus we've arrived to the first sketch of this compilation given to me by a friend, this one coming from @jackieariane. She and I both suffered during the Chapek administration of Disney, Jart regaling me with tales of when she dealt with rude customers at Animal Kingdom. It reminded me of when my friends AnimatedTigerGirl and RigbyH00ves worked at the Floridan Park too, all three of my companions having a surprisingly miserable experience. All these stories started melting together in my brain until I asked the question; what would happen if Brooklyn Nine Nine was set at Disneyland? Thus Whimsyland was born, albeit originally out of spite towards Chapek. I already detailed all this back in the DUDELZ from the Dumpster I posted earlier this year, but I failed to mention the human protagonist of this story, Wendy. Having been to Whimsyland once in her life at a young age, the young Vietnamese gal with OCD was immediately smitten by the place, vowing she'd someday work there. Spending the rest of her life researching the park and watching Matt Whimsy documentaries on uView, you can imagine Wendy's disappointment when she returned to the Perkiest Place on the Planet to find nothing was as perky. Whimsyland had lost its whimsy. It's here where she met Freddy Fox, the cartoon mascot of the company living in exile over how the house Matt built is being run today. In other words, what I'd imagine Mickey would be doing if he were real. Together these two kindred spirits are set to bring magic back to this wonderland! Overall I'm pleased with how the sketch turned out, though Wendy's face reminds me of my character Sue the Game Genie more than I'd prefer. Also, Fred Fox is way bigger than intended, no doubt I'll be changing that for future depictions of these two. For now though, this drawing has just enough Whimsy for my liking. 

[5] CROCZILLA: BLOOD CURSE More Discord Shenanigans! This time it's the result of a Dungeons & Dragons campaign that @burningthrucelluloid somehow roped me into yet again. Instead of robots and dragons set in a medieval fantasy however, this time it's elves and crocodiles in an approximation of the American south. One ruled by Jerimiah Strahd, a ruthless blood-sucking bastard that Alec based off Leonardo DiCaprio's character from Django Unchained. If that wasn't a sign of how crazy this campaign has become, here's an actual moment from the game. The heroic but hesitant human Jason (YoungSamurai18), the loud-mouthed scaredy cat Toby (Mr-Herp-Derp), and the silent but deadly Ed (void-android), and the equally hungry and adventurous Crocie (me, of course) were hunting for a witch named Bubba Lysiga when all of a sudden the witch brought her mobile home to life in order to attack our heroes. Worse still, she put Ed under mind control to attack his comrades. Croc got the worst of it, his HP dropping to 0 due to him falling from the house and getting stomped on by its gigantic set of wooden chicken legs. Did I mention this campaign gets strange? Well it got even crazier when a dark, shadowy entity housed in Croc's body suddenly gave him a recharge, the reptile taking the chance to mix a Heat and Growth potion he obtained earlier to become CROCZILLA! It was a moment Alec was hoping would happen in game and I didn't intend on disappointing. Same goes for this sketch, it mostly going just as envisioned in my head. The pissed off look on my green friend's face, the damage done to the rusty trailer that is the witch's house, the tiny silhouettes of Croc's teammates in said home, the heavy fog, the Earth-shattering roar in the background, it all came out great. Save for one detail. You'll notice that Croc's eyes are black with red irises in this pic. That detail's due to Croc having blood curse abilities, hence the dark entity sharing rental space in his body. As such, you'd think Croc's fire breath would be just as vibrantly red, but sadly that idea didn't occur to me until after I made the fire blue as well as the shine off every surface. Spam it! Still, coloring hiccup aside, I'm mighty proud of this pic! Hopefully so are the rest of the Barovian Bozos that make up my team. 

[6] WONDER ZIGGY, CINEPHILE FROM THE PLANET GARBONZA EVEN MORE DISCORD SHENANIGANS! Cut to a few months back and I was restructuring my Discord server, cutting down the multiple move threads it had before merging them all into one. Being the story-driven bozo I am, I quickly wrote a backstory for this thread involving an alien named Ziggy falling in love with the Earth B-Movies he was picking up on his deep space probe. So much so that he came down to our planet only to discover there were even MORE types of movies for him to enjoy! It overwhelmed him so much that he blacked out, awakening the next day having purchased a since abandoned drive-in theater on the outskirts of Clarksburg. Faced with this new impulse purchase, Ziggy followed the oldest piece of wisdom known to man or alien; Screw it. After a refurb Ziggy reopened the drive-in, screening B Movies and cinematic shlock to an appreciative public. And if you can believe it, I typed all of that out after thinking about it for five minutes. My brain is weird like that. All that said, it'd take a couple of RP sessions before I got his personality down, that being an MST3K character if the show were written by Joe-Bob Briggs. In other words, a surprisingly well educated weirdo with a deep love of Hollywood history. It'd take me a while longer before finally sketching him, basing him off the titular villain from Robot Monster, an appropriate design for someone who loves old, cheesy movies. All he was missing was a pink Hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat. If you think he's strange, you should meet his wife Wanda, though let's save that for a future BOOM...

[7] LOOKIN' SPAM GOOD! What better way to show my friends I care than drawing them in ridiculous outfits? This sketch, the first to be included in this BOOM, is a merging of two repurposed ideas I had for other pictures. The first would've involved the Swedish menace Finjix with a fish bowl on his head much to the confusion of Alec, the recipient of a kawaii make over. I can't remember where the fishbowl idea spawned from but Sir Alec the Adorable came from him scoffing at the idea that I could make anything cute, himself included. Just you wait Alec, I'll get you someday! For now though I swapped out making him uber-adorable in favor of dressing him up like the Wasp from Earth's Mightiest Heroes, the awesome animated show he finally binge-watched on my behalf. Granted I could've drawn him as Maria Hill, the character on the show he deemed the sexiest, but it wouldn't have been as funny. After all, all Maria's outfit is a blue jumpsuit. Far less interesting than Jart's leather jacket, an image that popped into my noggin following her telling me she's learning to ride a bike. That and me desperately clinging onto the back as she gave me a ride, but that would've been harder to draw. Instead I went for the jacket, a fashion statement that would be stupid in real life since she lives in the infamously hot country of Vietnam. Yet even in the face of logic, Jart not only humored me but encouraged me to include this in the final sketch. Thank goodness she did cuz I love how it turned out, minus the green stripes that were accidentally colored black like the rest. DRATS! Not only that but she informed me that she was no longer using her fursona, instead opting to draw herself as a human from now on. DOUBLE DRATS! Ah well, I have more ideas involving 'Trang the Tyrant' as I've nicknamed her, so chances are I'll get the chance to correct both mistakes in the future. It might also give me another chance to draw myself as Super Giraffe, which was what I originally intended to do with my own fursona. Sadly the costume still needs work so instead I opted for my classic Pagonian Wizard robes. Even in the face of all these snafus, I think we all look spam good!

[8] ROSIE STARDUST, SPACE WIZARD Turns out I'm always right even when I'm spewing nonsense. Don't believe me? Plenty of peeps have made that mistake before. Take my friend Alec for example. In the midst of him running the current Strahd campaign I mentioned earlier, I jokingly tossed out the idea of Rosie transporting our heroes out of Barovia and into another universe. A cute 'What If' scenario the Dungeon Master wasted no time in shooting down. Mistaking my silly suggestion as a legit one, Alec explained how unfair it'd be for a god to play a game with a bunch of mortal meatbags. Let the record show that I never declared the sentient Einstein-Rosen Bridge to be a deity. Some alien cultures have mistaken her from one, but Rosie herself would be the first to tell you she's no holy being. Not that any of that mattered. Alec held firm to his statement, Rosie was denied access to any dungeons. For about six seconds before my buddy realized how a depowered Rosie would make a wonderful wizard for a Spelljammers campaign. Fueling this fire was his recent watching of The Owl House, imagining Rosie rocking wizard robes similar to those worn by The Good Witch Azura. Before I could say, "NOW EAT THIS SUCKA," he was leading the charge on my server of peeps demanding I draw Rosie as a space wizard. At first I was floored at the audacity! You shoot down an idea that wasn't meant to be taken seriously only for you to turn around and do so anyway? MAKE UP YOUR SPAM MIND! Then I followed Alec's example and got over it, the idea of Rosie in wizards robes too tempting a sketch not to capitalize on. In the end the only aspect of Azura that made it into the final product was the hat, minus the cute lil' crown. Everything else took cues from the fashion of @cherrysdesigns along with a style @girlofhearts101 turned me towards called whimsigoth. All of which resulting in an costume that gave Alec 'David Bowie Ziggy Stardust vibes'. It's thanks to that comment that Rosie now has a last name. Everyone, say hello to Rosie Stardust, universal explorer and space wizard!

[9] DIREKTOR AND 3D1T0-R Is there a Hollywood equivalent in the Star Wars universe? Some sort of glamorous planet where overpaid alien celebrities are shamelessly rebooting beloved classics for a profit? All while amazing writers are getting screwed out of the earnings they deserve? This was what I asked Alec during his binge watching of The Clone Wars. Surprising me once more, the Masked Maniac revealed that he had asked SIM-N the same question before, the two creating a character called The Direktor for their Monova comics. Her whole gimmick was producing hypnotic propaganda for the tyrannical Twin Emperors, a cool concept that never went anywhere due to the robotroll cutting From Destiny's Ashes short. Being the character man that I am, I decided The Direktor couldn't go to waste. Especially when she'd make such a good villain in the world of 3K and a good addition to this BOOM. After asking SIM-N for the character's original reference sheet I set out to give her a Clarktoon makeover while watching cutscenes of The Second Sister from Jedi: Fallen Order. No doubt Elizabeth Grullon's intimidating vocal performance effected my outcome, the alien movie maker now sporting a streamlined outfit along with a smugly sinister smile on her face. As apposed to her boss, the Direktor's little droid 3D1T0-R hardly changed in the transition. He was a little creepy ball to start and he's still a little creepy ball now. One that was cooked up by Alec according to SIM-N, which makes sense given our pal's passion for film editing. Once the two were fully drawn I decided to test out my shading and lighting techniques in an attempt to make her look more menacing. If the response I got from the others on Discord is any indication, I succeeded. Indeed, this fem fatale filmmaker will fit in phenomenally as a 3K villain. Now the question is to who? 

[10] JURAKISS Finally we conclude things with a sketch somewhat prompted by @zernna. Way back in August of last year she was commissioned to draw my cretaceous crusader Saura and her girlfriend Patricia enjoying a delightful day at the pool, a pic as charming as that description would imply. In my comment thanking Ze I couldn't help but laugh at how the two had already been declared a cute couple despite how I hadn't drawn the two together in my own artwork yet. The Alien Artist than demanded I draw 'moar art of them then', prompting me to ask if that was a challenge. She said yes. Though not from a lack of trying, it took me nine freak'n months to meet that challenge. Blame that on me being a picky artist since I have been meaning to draw references of these characters in the meantime. After all, Zerna got asked to draw Saura in other pics without having any color references for the Blue Beast of Fosslin. Fortunately Saura's shown up in a number of previous Sketch BOOMs, now getting to share the spotlight with Patricia here. A Patricia that would've been notably paler were it not for Alec asking if I had any markers that matched Patricia's skin tone. I didn't, but the local hobby store did! Who knew Sharpie made skintone markers? It not only helped me color in the cute Muslim girl here, but also Cath and Wendy later on. Talk about a perfect purchase! Now if only the colors of Patricia's outfit were as satisfactory. Ah well, there's always next time, since I'm pretty sure Zerna's challenge still stands. XP For now though, I hope you all enjoy this compilations of crazy scribblings fresh from my mind. If you didn't, worry not, chances are I'll be making another one soon....

MAY THE GLASSES BE WITH YOU ALL!