#not helping my dysmorphia

[viivdle]

just looked at pictures from a year ago

safe to say i'm unwell

[tetsuskei]

my favorite trope is your body becoming your faves favorite type because they’re so in love with you and adore you sm

[desktopmermaid]

Using myself as a live model again + sum journals

[sungjinwhump]

new headcanon:

if jinwoo's clothes get torn in any way, beru (and perhaps igris) insists on covering him up out of respect for his privacy?? like. they just wanna make sure their king's body is only shown when he wants it to be shown!!!

this leads to so many shenanigans and jinwoo being super?? confused?? maybe a little touched but he'll never say that out loud.

(bonus points for body dysmorphia cos i refuse to believe that jinwoo doesn't struggle with his body image when it changed so rapidly/suddenly and it prbly didn't feel like his for a long time—)

[humblepoet26]

Girls, do you know how tempted I am to buy this dress? To be clear, I don't usually voluntarily like wearing dresses (as you can tell from the butch loverboy vibes I got going) but something in me is urging me to do it and I'm so tempted.. someone tell me not to 😍

[thegoldencontracts]

Eyyy actually on the topic of Azul and weight... what do you think he even did to lose weight? Magic? Lugging a sunken anchor around?? It would be wildly different in the sea than on land...

Personally I headcanon he lost around half at land camp-- meaning he has stretch marks to already add to the body issues... maybe he uses magic to conceal those, though, in case anyone tries to take a peek at him.

IN WHICH, LOCKER ROOMS! DOES NRC have locker rooms?? What do u think..

Sooo I actually like imagining he started trying to lose weight since he was a kid! There's just something so painful about it. At just ten, he was pushed to believe he wouldn't be taken seriously, that he'd be mocked and bullied unless he was skinny. There's also the added angst bonus of his mother noticing he's been skipping meals.

I mean, it's just- Over half of Azul's life has been spent with his mind occupied by the thought of food. His mother canonically didn't have much time for him in the midst of her divorce. And now she sees what's happened to her once innocent, adorably chubby son. He loathes himself simply for the way he looks.

The way the twins would react. To them, Azul's perspective on his weight is actually entirely new. Floyd and Jade have both been shown to like the squishier, younger Azul. He doesn't get it. Why is Azul making himself miserable like this just to avoid being chubby? Is being chubby that bad?

And Azul + locker rooms is just...

I feel like they have locker rooms, since they canonically have to change into PE uniforms (and so far we haven't seen any mention of being able to magically change their clothes + yuu would deffo mention smth about the awkwardness of changing clothes because they cant use magic if that were the case).

The humiliation. The dread. Will he be subject to endless mockery once more? And yet, he hides it all behind that typical, charismatic smile.

But a smile can only cover things up for so long. Even for someone who's built up as high a tolerance for endless mockery as Azul, the walls always fall to time - no matter how strong. The dam will break. And when that finally happens, it'll be a mess, I know that much.

Anyways this concludes my yap session (FLOYD YAPANESE MOMENT) and thank you for giving me a chance to brainrot a bit <3 I know my hcs differ a bit from yours, sorry T_T

[battyccino]

Whenever I see art of a smart beautiful and confident person with a big belly it makes me feel really happy about my big belly. Seeing other people with shared traits be confident helps me be confident. Thank you. Your art is beautiful.

Thank you, what a sweet comment!!! To be fair Master Kohga already exists as a plus-sized canon character who is incredibly confident and comfortable with himself! I just like to draw him outside of his uniform and show off what I picture his pretty face looking like under the mask. :) BUT l’m very happy to hear this, I hope others feel similarly because having a character like Kohga being so beloved by his in-universe clan and the fandom is very refreshing.

[xskyll]

My mother has a Christmas tradition where she buys me a shirt in a size (or two) too big every year. I've been the same size now for over ten years, but I used to be 40 lbs heavier. While I was losing weight, she would frequently tell me how bad I looked (for context, after those 40 lbs, I am still about 30 lbs heavier than what is considered ideally healthy for my height, so it's not like I was becoming worrisomely thin, and I lost the weight very slowly).

Usually, she doesn't ask if the shirt fits, but if she does, I say it's too big and remind her of my size. She always says something like, "Oh, well, I thought it looked small. I don't have the receipt. Just wear it anyway," or, "Maybe you could take it in on your sewing machine."

It's like opening a box every year with a note inside that says, "Do you REALLY think you're that size? Look at your face, honey. Your waist. You're fatter than you think."

Anyway, for the last three years, I've had "lose 10 lbs" as a New Year's resolution, and I've been killing myself trying, and failing, to achieve it. So this coming year, I'm going to try to stop dieting and focus on getting as muscular as possible. Forget becoming the dainty, slender princess in the tower. I want to be the buff knight that saves her instead. I'm doing this for me, but I bet my mom will hate me being muscular even more than she'd hate me being thin, so that's just some icing on the cake. Get mad.

[skynapple]

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[elephantlovemedleys]

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[suzie-guru]

I love my job in that it supports me while I write and create and that working with kids is super rewarding and I’m genuinely grateful to have it.

But GOD my body dysmorphia/negative self image is NOT helped in that the clothing nannying requires means I look like a sloppy dog’s dinner on a good day. I know it’s part of child care but dammit I hate catching a glimpse of my reflection and hating how I look, from the shape of my body to what I have to wear. It blows.

[zilodak]

Selin is so so pretty. You draw her in a beautiful way. You can tell a lot about her just with your art and she's wonderful. Some people are just mad cause they can't stand a beautiful woman with a double chin ig

Thank you! I used to be super aware of my soft jawline and double chin but drawing her has helped me grow indifferent about it immensely. And I can only hope that when people see my characters they feel safe knowing that that it's okay to look like the way that you or they look, and that you're not taking up space.

[itsbrucey]

Darryl Wilson tan lines- 💥

[haemosexuality]

realizing that big boobs are the reason why i have so much back pain immediately destroyed the acceptance i spent years working on about how my chest looks. lol

[infomaniac]

is it even dysmorphia when everyone agrees with you

[xxinsomniac-maxxx]

i hate.

i hate my mom. i hate her bc she called me dumb. i hate her bc she called me fat. she called me many things, that a child should never hear from their parent. i hate her.

i also hate myself. bc im fat. bc im dumb. i hate the way that i dress, that i do my makeup. i hate my hair, my face, my eyes, my fingers and my legs. i hate the way my body looks and acts when i try my hardest to get better.

i wish i was skinnier. i wish i was prettier. i wish i had more friends. i wish i was capable of loving my mom. i wish i could kmys and not feel guilty. i wish i was smarter.

i wish my mom loved me.

i wish my parents didn't care abt me so i could cut. i wish that they wouldn't check my arms every time im sad and wear long sleeves. i wish i could bleed all over the bathroom floor in the middle of the night. i wish i could slit my wrists or thighs and not feel guilty.

i dont like dissapointing ppl. i dont like making them sad. i dont like being in pain but i also dont like being clean. i dont like relapsing but everything sucks when im clean.

i dont like being clean.

i dont like my mom. i dont like the way that my skin itches, burns and sting. i dont like to see my skin clean. i dont like it when my grades get bad. i dont like it when it gets bad again.

i like the feeling of blood dripping down my body. i like the way that at the beggining, you dont feel anything. i like not feeling anything. i like laying in bed all day. i like being high. i like smoking.

i like being addicted.

i like watching yt all day. i like taking the blade out of a sharpener. i like to lock myself in the school bathroom and skip a lesson - just to cut. i like it when people notice my struggle. i like it when they care. i also like when they dont care.

i love my parents

i love something for sure

i love being sick

i love being fucked up

i love cutting