#how fat girls always have to perform a higher degree of fashion/appearance/grooming | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

suzie-guru · 7 months ago

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I love my job in that it supports me while I write and create and that working with kids is super rewarding and I’m genuinely grateful to have it.

But GOD my body dysmorphia/negative self image is NOT helped in that the clothing nannying requires means I look like a sloppy dog’s dinner on a good day. I know it’s part of child care but dammit I hate catching a glimpse of my reflection and hating how I look, from the shape of my body to what I have to wear. It blows.

#summer is such a hard time for me #and right now my body dysmorphia is just SKYROCKETING #there’s only a few about my appearance that I am genuinely NOT ashamed about #and kids are great in that they don’t give a shit #but damn I do #I hate looking the way I look right now #I feel so trapped by this fucking weight #and my working clothes do not help #I love getting to dress up #but that doesn’t get to happen unless it’s the weekend #like a part of my truly is aware that this struggle comes from internalized fatphobia #how fat girls always have to perform a higher degree of fashion/appearance/grooming #I know that #but if it genuinely helps me feel better about myself…#ugh #this is why I need to get back to therapy and why it SUCKS that no one has evening or weekend appointments #PERSONAL #DO NOT REBLOG

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