#his size doesn’t effect any of that. He’s just as capable as the others. And super smart too! Hes got it all

[battyccino]

Whenever I see art of a smart beautiful and confident person with a big belly it makes me feel really happy about my big belly. Seeing other people with shared traits be confident helps me be confident. Thank you. Your art is beautiful.

Thank you, what a sweet comment!!! To be fair Master Kohga already exists as a plus-sized canon character who is incredibly confident and comfortable with himself! I just like to draw him outside of his uniform and show off what I picture his pretty face looking like under the mask. :) BUT l’m very happy to hear this, I hope others feel similarly because having a character like Kohga being so beloved by his in-universe clan and the fandom is very refreshing.

[astaroth1357]

So. As something of a connoisseur of depictions of the 7 Deadly Sins in media, I was just mulling over FMAB and thought, “I don’t know if anyone as crossed this over with OM before, but that would actually be kinda fire though.”

Like, imagine each of the brothers with the destructive powers of their respective Homunculi.

~♡♡♡~

Lucifer coming off as the most normal at first, until MC catches how his shadow bends and curves to avoid harsh light. They swear they sometimes hear him chuckling in the dark corners of the House, but they never actually find him anything there when they check. Red eyes reveal themselves in unlit rooms and follow them through the halls, all the while they keep wondering how he always seems to know where they are whenever he's away…

Mammon hardening his skin to be tougher than diamond, then using it to reinforce his claws and smoothly cut a perfect circle into glass display case. Him letting himself get punched when things don’t matter, but instantly hardening his cheek to break the assailant's hand whenever he starts getting serious. Or literally using his body to protect MC from harm as their first man and loyal shield.

Leviathan having a MASSIVE aquatic beast form that he shoves into a normal sized body, making him feel even more distant to others. Using transformations to regularly make himself look like his favorite anime characters/idols since he can’t stand the thought of looking at his true form. Yet, he still has that conservation of mass going, so he can simultaneously look like a 12 year-old girl and kick a car down the street like a soccerball.

Satan using his gifted sight to become an absolute force of nature. Not just a mere brute, but a sophisticated and effective killing machine with the wit and reflexes to mow down entire armies before breaking a sweat. Never blinded by fury, but harnessing his rage behind every inescapable strike. Him silently vowing that any threat to MC or his family will barely get to finish a thought before he's cut them down with precision and grace.

Asmodeus mostly using his extending nails for glorious manicures, but not being afraid to pierce the heart or lungs of anyone he doesn’t much like. He hears an incubus talking shit from a few tables down and stabs a hole through the jerk's skull while never looking away from his milkshake. His fights with Mammon getting 1000 times more destructive as his razor sharp claws bounce off his brother's skin and dig into the walls and furniture. The only thing he hates about them are how long it takes to scrub the blood off his nails afterwards.

*silently contemplates the possibility of Beel ripping himself in half to reveal a nightmarish second “stomach” capable of sucking anything into a blood-filled pocket dimension of which there is no light, hope, or escape* … Okay, moving on.

And of course, for those unaware FMAB Sloth could run at like the speed of sound which was threatening because he was also a behemoth. However, Belphie probably weights 125 pounds when wet, so… I admittedly get a giggle at the idea of him giving Lucifer a speed-of-light drop kick from across the House. That is probably all he would use it for, too. Him just getting those horns out and going into ramming speed… What a menace

Bonus: Wonder what kind of alchemist Solomon would be? 🤔

[mothedmanillustration]

Augmen de Lute info!

Augmen de Lute is the confident, charming, laid-back captain of the Arrowpoint Pirates, a group that enjoys throwing massive parties for any occasion. Other pirates and seafarers are encouraged to join in the fun- provided they follow the rules and not cause trouble.

To fund these parties, Augmen attacks Marines and merchant ships, as well as stealing from any guests who decide to break his rules or other pirates who attack. He loves attacking any Marine ships on sight, racking up quite the bounty from property damage alone.

Augmen's parties aren't traps like some other locations (Gran Tesoro), he genuinely likes throwing parties and is very serious about hospitality. He's built up a good reputation among other pirates over the years and they know his ship's a good place to visit. Some unlucky pirates think they can take advantage of the captain's generous hospitality, wanting to steal Augmen's vast treasure or kill him for the fame, those pirates rarely make it off the ship alive.

Augmen has a large crew of loyal pirates (mostly just basic pirates, no special powers) who all love and adore their captain. He in turn, loves his crew and treats them well. He may be a partier but he works hard to keep his ship running smoothly and keeps his crew and guests safe.

Devil Fruit: Mod Mod Fruit

Able to modify (strengthen or weaken) attributes of people and objects through touch.

If holding the target, the effect is stronger, the effect can last when the touch is gone but will start to fade after a few minutes. The longer something is held, the stronger the effect and the longer it will linger after the contact is gone.

Uses his left hand to strengthen and his right to weaken, this is entirely a stylistic choice by him and if needed he can use either hand.

Use Examples

Augmen’s dual pistols, powers them up so they’re a LOT stronger than a normal gun of that size, since they’re always on him, he’s always feeding a little power into it, keeping them stronger than if they were held suddenly

He does a similar thing with the cannons on his ship, feeding power into them so they hit harder than normal cannons, capable of taking down Marine ships in just a hit or two

Strengthen the ship’s defenses, cannon balls do less damage or bounce off entirely. Helpful since Augmen’s ship is a bit slow due to its size

Can buff himself and others attack/defense

Can weaken opponents if he gets they’re hands on them, for most people, they’ll feel weak and tired and if held on to long enough, pass out. Stronger opponents get their attacks debuffed and devil fruit users can have varying effects.

Doesn’t work well/at all on certain devil fruit users, specifically ones that can avoid being touched or ones that can’t really have their powers weakened

His power being touch-based means that he has to get up close to opponents to affect them, making him easier to hit in return. If he’s focusing on powering up/weakening a large target, he can’t power up himself, also making him vulnerable.

Example: powering up the entire ship makes him an easy target to be sniped or hit, relies on his crew to protect him

[cosmica-galaxy]

Mimic oc submission

Hai it’s heaven😁

Name: Televise & Channel Image:

Mimic species: TV mimic (Mutant).

Friendly or Hostile: Hostile? Yes.

Where can it be found: Dark alleyways, at night time, dimly lit open areas.

What does it eat and how does it hunt: Anything it can get its hands on, scraps of metal, flesh from humans/Skibidi’s, Mimics, etc.

Televise hunts by luring prey with Channel, using Channel as a puppet and fooling anyone who happens to fall into its path. Using Channel to bring the prey close enough to Televise where it can rip it to shreds with its’ claws and or bite the prey in half.

Does it have any special abilities: Being able to mutate its skin to show four wires that come from its back and being able to kill prey before putting it under its control (like the parasite Skibidi’s, TV woman, Titan tv man, etc).

Personal backstory:

Televise: Once a regular TV mimic-- one day it went off on its way to find food and water, suddenly it had encountered a Skibidi who could shoot acid. Getting caught in the crossfire and getting shot at with the cannon, instead of their skin burning and pealing off, it instead soaked into their body. Soon making its way to his nervous system and bones. It ended up infecting him and slowly taking effect mutating him after he ate his first alliance member, then its body demanded more metal to slowly turn himself into a half organic half machine monster, becoming half the size of a large unit and a real danger to everything around him. Although he doesn’t kill everything in his path, and sometimes likes to toy with his prey.

Channel: Prey is what this TV unit was to Televise before it wasn’t…thinking that it was his Large unit, Channel followed Televise into an alleyway corner. Confused, the TV unit looked back at the large unit questioning why he was led to an corner and cocked his head to the side before starting up his voice box. Speaking in his reversed language ` “ ⸮ɘɿɘʜ γʜW “ ` asked the smaller unit now almost dying of curiosity before he realized something…it was a simple touch but he realized that The other units coat was buttoned. He swore it wasn’t like that, but before Channel could leave as the smoke started up, is when everything crashed down for Channel. A long slim wire had a quietly made its way out of sight for Channel to realize before it was too late. He was hit in the back of the head with something that had disrupted his teleportation process, a jolt of electricity was ripped from him and slowly felt something he didn’t know he was capable of…pain. it flooded his wires and nerves as it tried to send something back to his home base, anything! But whatever had just hit him was working quicker than him. Before he knew it, parts of himself was being wiped and erased. Like the pain of organs being removed from inside of you when you are awake, feeling everything in the moment before…it all faded to black for him.

His screen had shut off before turning back on again, it took Televise to a few tries before he was able to operate Channel the way he could now. A lifeless puppet controlled by a vile beast that has done nothing but use his body to lure in unsuspecting people or things right into the jaws of danger and death.

(I know you don’t understand walls of text so I would be willing to break it up to you via discord, you know my username just text me if you need anything.) -- And here’s an entry from @angelwolf89 (Aka Heaven)! I adore this concept and idea! It makes me think of an angler fish hunting in the deep dark zones of the ocean and I am HERE for it! Amazing job with your idea and lore, Heaven! : D

[okkotsugf]

Chapter 6 as a tumblr post with embedded images because ao3's image system is broken no matter what i do lol . all text is the same

Note: this is not a real chapter, and was meant to be an author’s note at the end of the last (final) chapter but went a little too long, so I added some further lore context to some choices made in this fic. I would not usually do this at all, but in the spirit of Laios, I believe infodumping about my interpretation of monster lore to people who don't care is possibly the most canon-typical thing I can do. 

The real truth is somewhere between the several options laid out by Kabru and Laios himself. 

Number one: Laios IS still a monster, because I subscribe to the “he just shape-shifted back human and doesn't have enough mana to be animalistic” school of thought. The book specifically mentions that the monster can shape-shift. His monster doodle page also debates angular snake heads vs round ones but his final form has a rounded/goofy snake head (see below), which are usually not venomous. 

The past few decades have seen a growing interest in understanding of the origins and structure of morphological diversity. As form, function and ecology are often interrelated, shape diversity can be expected to have functional consequences and/or to reflect the ecology of organisms (e.g., habitat, diet). However, this relationship is not always straightforward as demonstrated by the phenomenon of many‐to‐one mapping of form to function, with different morphologies giving rise to similar levels of performance.”* Source: Segall, M., Cornette, R., Godoy-Diana, R., & Herrel, A. (2020). Exploring the functional meaning of head shape disparity in aquatic snakes. Ecology and evolution, 10(14), 6993–7005. https://doi.org/10.1002/ece3.6380 *Certain citations have been removed from the original text because this is a fanfiction on ao3.

I really struggled with deciding if Laios’ deal is venom or poison. Since Kabru ingests it orally/tastes it, it’s poison, BUT it is also injected in the initial bites. I chose to categorise it as venom as it only occurs specifically when Laios bites down/’injects’. Though debatable (see the discussion on blood at the end), the venom in this case is an adaptive trait taken on when Laios turned human post three-heads. Overall, it is mostly comprised of hemotoxins (blood ouchie) with neurotoxin (nervous system ouchie) capabilities. In other words, for any vampire-esque monster, it makes perfect sense to keep prey alive yet unwilling/unable to run: eg, paralytic poison. For Laios specifically, the poison works as a semi aphrodisiac, in that it amplifies desire specifically. Kabru already kind of wants to eat Laios, and him really wanting to taste Laios creates a representative desire that Laios can eat. K tasting/drinking it makes it have a different effect than when it's injected into the wound (increased desire vs. an agent that breaks down platelets). Again, all monster traits have a function: in this way hunger-prey gets more bloody, sexy-prey gets more sexy.

Backtracking to other physical aspects. Chilchuck is half-right here. Laios’ horns and tail have been fully discarded. Unlike Falin’s more predominantly present sharp teeth (see below), Laios’ similarly positioned fangs only appear and lengthen in preparation to eat or in moments of severe emotional or physical distress. While latent, his regular canines are simply doubled, but Chilchuck doesn’t know enough about tallman anatomy to decode that. In essence, Laios kind of ended up with his wisdom teeth in place, despite not being born with them. He doesn’t have extra teeth, per se.

Laios’ eyes follow the dragon!Falin format of the extreme slits, but they do kind of even out to a regular round pupil when he’s stable + it’s bright daylight, which is why it’s not immediately apparent to non-Kabrus. 

I've definitely exaggerated the Laios/Kabru size difference in this. In part because I find wide men personally attractive but also bc Laios has gained a fair bit of mass post dungeon (also canonical).

Lorewise speaking, Laios’ big strong monster aura is powerful enough to keep every other monster at bay (see below), which is why Kabru is sometimes so primally afraid of him in this fic. HOWEVER. Kabru (half incubus) remaining in his presence for so long has had the effect of cementing him, subconsciously, as an extremely strong monster as well (even though it's his human cluelessness that's the reason). Therefore it’s essentially an equation that goes [strong monster + not part of diet + in vicinity = potential mate/equal]. On some level this is hinted to with Kabru’s intense power kink paralleling it, but tbf it’s also just how I see Kabru. He is not part of the diet due to wasps being generally wayyy too small for a body as large as Laios’ monster.

Why did this become a problem so abruptly? The Kingdom’s taken this long to reach a relatively stable plateau, and much like other biological processes being halted by extreme stress, so has this one. In addition, purely headcanon, but I believe that monster breeding seasons tend to work somewhat opposite to animal seasons. The passage of time becomes significant again, given that as a monster he's “matured” biologically and is entering his very first. sigh. ovulation? rut season? it's NOT omegaverse it is just laios. 

The blood consumption is a side effect of iron deficiency (endless stomach edition) + food curse + mister King not understanding whether he wants to eat kabru or fuck kabru. The blood (see below) is kind of serving the same function as the desires (food) have to the Lion (addicting with an endless appetite). 

Again, Laios isn’t being stupid here: blood is the driving force of life itself. It’s about as close to magical vagueness loopholes as one can get. It’s not entirely right, as Laios still needs to consume desire itself to feel anything other than 40% full, but he’s on a fairly reasonable track. 

Also, goes without saying: Laios drinking that amount of blood from a 100% human would have been very different, in that they would have passed out due to the venom 5 minutes in and promptly have needed to have their stomach pumped before they had a stroke. K is just built different. 

ALSO, kept vague and you can debate this according to your interpretation, but Laios is still very demisexual. he only wants to drink from kabru because kabru is the only sexual option. again, the blood consumption is partially borne from Laios being unable to catalogue sexual feelings from platonic, hence him deciding it'll only work with friends, which may or may not be true.

Thank you for tolerating me! This is the first multi-chapter I've finished! If you've read this far I may as well ask which of the following options I should work on next:

delgaal!yaad/laios Sr. idk these old men can yaoi I'm confident 

lighthearted laios/kabru royalty au prince × best friend moment, where both are kind of petty assholes 

the winged lion in laios’ body/mithrun (please someone do this. need more cakes) 

the winged lion in laios’ body/kabru/fake mithrun 

dungeon lord marcille/regular falin

the one unhinged dream i had after first finishing the manga that’d be a really risky psychological horror longform that starts with comphet

[professors-polycule]

Adoption Spotlight for:

Hephaistos the Volcarona:

(this amazing art comes from @the-sleepiest-melon thank you so much again)

Physical Attributes age: 5 years Size: 101cm (3’4”) Gender: Male Designated Level: 67 Type: Bug/Fire Breed: White Dwarf (smaller than average, grey/off-white wings) Nature: Quirky Ability: Flame Body Hidden Power: Ground Moves: Fiery Dance, Quiver Dance, Bug Buzz, Hyper Beam Mega-Capable: No (more info can be provided if necessary)

Additional Info:

Hephasitos is somewhat reserved, but tries to make friends. He is a little bit odd at times and doesn’t find it easy to connect with others, but he will not be discouraged and tries to adapt.

While Hephaistos is not a good battler, he will accept any role that is given to him. We do recommend to occupy him otherwise though. he is quite adept at performance and enjoys group activities, but he also really likes to watch and listen to others. Unlike many Volcarona, he also likes sitting down and walking on his feet, don’t be alarmed by this.

Hephaistos has a toy furnace that is used as an outlet for young fire types who need to vent their heat. It is basically a heat- and fire-resistant box to prevent accidents. He likes playing with it and producing all kinds of sparkling effects using the scales of his wings. It is recommended that this toy is adopted together with him.

General Volcarona care instructions apply. Hephaistos' diet should follow general guidelines for Volcarona, but he has a strong distaste for spicy food and will burn it. Guidelines for Volcarona-care can be provided at request.

If you're interested in Hephaistos, please reach out to me personally through this blog or send a message to the MUPS.

//just send an ask or reblog or send a DM

signed:

Professor Boris Musa Director of the Marawhetu University for Pokémon Sciences

[darknetneopets]

New Eden profile and info 🖤

Yes I’m obsessed with my little grey idiot and keep tweaking stuff about them heheee

Eden H. Grey (He/They)

My Twisted Wonderland MC aka the Ramshackle Dorm prefect!

While he doesn’t have magic I like to headcanon there is something to Dire calling him a ‘beast tamer’ and that he can hear and feel the stuff we see in game during a character’s overblot 🖤

He's very loosely based on Chernabog from Fantasia!

They are obviously a very self indulgent oc and I project on them a lot hehee

At first glance Eden is, well, a little plain. At most he might come off a bit ‘quirky’ (read: nurodivergent) and he’s just not what you would call flashy or charismatic. He’s also queer and has only recently come to terms with being nonbinary so he’s still working on how he wants to present himself.

Mostly he's just kind of a nerd. His interests include computer games, fantasy books, and obscure discontinued toys. He likes scary movies and spooky music and prefers to dress in all black. He likes drawing, used to go ghost hunting, and if you call something a ‘dragon’ when it is CLEARLY a wyvern or worse yet a wyrm you're never going to hear the end of it.

Eden tries to be friendly and approachable and others often come to him for help and advice. He's always happy to help, even if he’s not particularly well suited for the job. Eden is a chronic people-pleaser and if you make him feel useful (or suggest he’s somehow been a burden) he’s guaranteed to give your request his absolute best (even if it means compromising his own well-being.)

He also does his best to appear calm and easygoing even when terribly overwhelmed and prefers to keep the focus off himself in social situations. If he finds himself in the spotlight for too long he ends up extremely flustered and the reaction is doubled when it comes to praise or romantic affection. The fact that NRC is full of cute guys with cool magic powers really doesn't do him any favors as a shy stumbling mess or as a bit of a pushover.

Occasionally Eden’s pleasant aura will give way to a sarcastic edge and he has an impressive knack for cutting someone perfectly down to size once they’ve agitated him (particularly when it’s delivering a hard truth the person needs to confront for their own good. Well, mostly anyway…) Also while he can be quite sensitive and a bit of a pushover he has a heightened sense of justice and will often jump into the fray in the heat of the moment if others are in danger. It’s 100% adrenaline fueled and he often thinks better of his past decisions while being hauled to the nurse’s office.

Despite being a pretty good judge of character Eden tries his hardest to see the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt (this unsurprisingly backfires on him frequently while at NRC) and thinks everyone has the capability to grow and change. Plus it often takes a while for him to process his feelings so sometimes he doesn't realize someone is acting shady until it’s far too late.

While Eden might have “all the magical talent of a box of crayons” (thanks, Ace) he’s clearly a pretty good mediator and he seems to have a curious effect on ‘otherworldly’ creatures (such as ghosts and monsters like Grim) that makes them a little more agreeable than normal. There’s also the visions and prophetic dreams he regularly experiences after being exposed to others' intense emotions, magic, or overblot states… he’s just gonna keep that to himself though…

Although obviously shaken, Eden seemed to take his arrival to Twisted Wonderland in stride. He had been in a pretty dark place in his life and if he was going to have to go around feeling lost or out of place somewhere, at least things in TW were…different? Interesting? Look, there was suddenly a whole weird new world to discover where magic is real, ghosts are commonplace and dragons might exist?!

Sure, his first instinct was to want to get home but as his stay keeps extending the idea of leaving TW seems to grow a little less attractive everyday… Not that he’s ready to admit that of course, not even to himself. Still, maybe if he learned enough, stayed useful enough, got comfortable enough… Maybe he could convince himself to leave his old life behind.

——————

Assorted hcs of various seriousness:

-Eden may not be fully human or lack magic entirely- it’s possibly something tied to Bald Mountain and the demon who rules it

-Eden comes from our universe more or less but with slight differences (mostly because I think it’s funny if there was no Disney in their universe)

-Eden is goth in both his fashion and music tastes

-has been obsessed with dragons since childhood

-Not really a hc but I have an AU idea where Eden is the dorm leader for an 8th dorm based on Chernabog :3 I’ll probably finish art of it at some point~

Character Relationship Hcs:

(I edit/update these as I play more of the game!)

Grim:

In full denial about how much he likes Eden even though they’re the first person he would run to for literally anything. They’re a particularly weird and funny human but they have a kinda nice vibe that puts Grim at ease. Not that It's gonna fully stop him from being a nuisance but at least he doesn’t set things on fire QUITE so frequently! Besides if Eden hadn't vouched for Grim to Crowley he wouldn’t have gotten into NRC at all!

As frustrating as the little monster can be, Eden can’t stay mad at Grim. Mostly because, well… Kitty cat!!! Grim is like some sort of funny little real life Pokémon and Eden can’t help but be charmed by him.

Riddle:

He often tolerates Eden’s missteps seeing as they’re new to literally everything in TW. He also appreciates how kind and supportive they are towards him even after his past behavior. Eden is just so?? Patient?? They rarely get angry even when Ace and Grim cause them all manor of grief. Sure, sometimes they’re a little too eager to work around rules rather than upholding them but where it counts Eden always seems willing to listen to Riddle.

Eden honestly really likes Riddle and would absolutely consider him a friend. After Riddle’s overblot Eden became quite protective of him, though they make sure Riddle doesn’t get wise to it! Riddle is a housewarden after all! He doesn’t need any help (he does of course but Eden tries to spare his ego.) They’re also extremely grateful for how welcoming he is, allowing them and Grim access to the Heartslabyul dorm when Ramshackle starts to feel a bit cold and lonely.

Ace:

He tries so hard to be nonchalant about their friendship that it’s honestly kind of embarrassing. He loves Eden so much they feel like a sibling to him and the two are always affectionately bullying each other. He knows he was a total jerk to them when they first met and he’s made good in private but around their other friends he’s always gonna give them shit. If some rando has anything to say about Eden though Ace will absolutely start swinging.

There are times Eden could strangle Ace, but they really do appreciate his high energy. Ace just says what’s on his mind and Eden appreciates his honesty even if he’s still kind of a jerk about it. They consider him a close friend but they're a little oblivious when it comes to just how much Ace really cares.

Deuce:

How could he not like Eden? They’re so genuinely supportive of him! Ace isn’t really a bad guy but he can be a total ass and Grim is a menace no matter how cute you think he is- Yet Eden rarely ever loses their cool when the two cause trouble for them. Deuce appreciates their attempts to de-escalate fights between students and tries to emulate that energy as he works on mending his own delinquent ways. Still he would be right there with Ace ready to brawl with anyone who thinks they can pick on Eden! Look, that's a special exception fight! Even honor students should be defending their friends, right?!

Deuce absolutely delights Eden. They get so tickled over the fact that such a tough seeming guy would get so stressed over making his mom proud or how the hell eggs work. They wish nothing but the best for him and if they can help they will! Eden and Duce like to tease each other a little but they both go even harder on Ace. Eden is also fully convinced Duce has a crush on Ace and is always tempted to try and set the two up.

Cater:

Eden is #adorbs just like all his fave freshies! They always agree to a quick photo op and like all his Magicam posts! Plus they're so adorably easy to embarrass! One time Cater called an outing they had planned a ‘date’ and Eden started stumbling over their words and turning pink! He also thinks they're really pretty despite them refusing to post pics of themself. He keeps trying to talk them into doing a lil photo shoot with Ramshackle dorm as the backdrop so he can post some serious #spooky realness! The only problem he has with Eden is that he’s scared just how much they see through him. They always read him so well and sometimes a little too deeply for Cater’s comfort…

Honestly, they find Cater kind of intimidating. He’s super extroverted, animated and very cool but he can be kind of /a lot/. However in the right doses, Eden seriously enjoys hanging out with Cater. They appreciate his willingness to come to a classmate's rescue in a pinch and they believe that under all that shallow social media talk is a solidly good guy. They actually worry about him a lot and will always try to make an effort to reach out although so far they’ve had little luck getting past his defenses.

Trey:

Look, anyone willing to help keep Ace and Deuce out of major trouble is okay in Trey’s book! He’s secretly still a little wounded from how harshly Eden set him straight about enabling Riddle and how it contributed to the whole overblot catastrophe (he knows Eden meant it with love but man it was brutal!) It’s clear to Trey that Eden cares about his well-being just as much as Riddle’s and their other Heartslabyul friends. Trey realizes that they both seem to find it worlds easier to look after others than take care of themselves so he does his best to return all of Eden’s kindness on the sly, usually in the form of food as they never seem to eat as often as they should (a mix of absentmindedness and being broke most of the time.)

Eden kinda always wanted a big brother and Trey fits the bill quite well. They often catch themself being surprisingly open with Trey and the two have had some pretty deep chats. They also like pestering him to show them how to bake and they never miss a chance to swing by the Heartslabyul kitchen when Trey’s there (plus he always makes them awesome snacks?? He's so nice!!) They admittedly get a bit frustrated with how distant Trey can be and much like with Cater Eden is convinced there’s far more under the surface than he lets on.

Leona:

Genuinely wants to hate Eden because wherever they go there's bound to be some awful racket following them and it’s infringing on Leona’s damn beauty sleep. However the sheer determination the magic-poor herbivore exhibits in the face of all manner of nonsense on campus has earned Eden a few points in Leona’s book. Still they’re /pity points/ okay? He doesn’t think of Eden as a friend or anything and he certainly doesn’t like how friendly they are with him despite all the shit he pulled during the Spelldrive tournament…

Big Kitty Man!!! Eden is perpetually fascinated with the beast men students on campus but especially Leona! The fact that there’s a guy at NRC with cat (lion) ears and he won’t even let Eden scratch them a little is practically torture. Jokes aside, Eden finds Leona a bit frustrating as they’re convinced he’s actually a really good person yet Leona seems absolutely bent on trying to prove them wrong. They consider him a friend (despite the lion's vocal protests) and they even sometimes take advantage of knowing Leona’s nap hideaways to go sit with him and hang out for a little while he’s half asleep (then book it the moment Leona gets wise!)

Jack:

All of his attempts at trying to ‘play it cool’ were no match for Eden. They’re just so honest and positive that they earned friend status with Jack in no time flat. Plus they always cheer him on in sporting events despite having little to no clue what’s going on most of the time. Their flimsy build and lack of coordination concern Jack and he’s always trying to get them to work out with him (plus they're really nice to talk to so can you blame him for wanting some one on one time? Don’t you judge him…) He would absolutely be right there with Ace and Deuce to defend Eden if push came to shove.

Jack is such a good, good wolf boy of course Eden thinks the world of him! In the sea of bullies and slime balls at NRC it was a serious relief meeting someone as honest and hardworking as Jack! His lone wolf act when they first met him was almost embarrassingly easy to see through and it’s a big relief for them to see him with friends now. They have a love/hate relationship with the trips to the gym (being sweaty is a grade A bad sensory experience) but are they gonna say no to those wolf puppy eyes? Nope no chance (they WILL try to hide though.)

Ruggie:

Look, a couple of broke errand runners like him and Eden gotta look out for each other, alright? He’s not going to go out of his way to help the guy all the time but he’s not about to try and screw them over either. If Eden was ever reallyyy in a pinch Ruggie would probably try and lend a hand, mostly because he figures they would try and do the same for him. He keeps cool about it, but it honestly shocks him how giving and considerate Eden is. Sometimes he thinks about trying to coach them to be a little bit more focused on their own wellbeing but it kinda feels like it would be spoiling a good thing.

Ruggie kinda keeps Eden on their toes. Like he’s alright where it counts but he does come off as a bit of a scoundrel sometimes. Not that they mind, it’s part of what makes him fun to be around. They find his devious snicker infectious and find his survival kills beyond impressive. They try to be helpful to him even if Ruggie seems a bit resistant to it- to be honest they just like the look on his face when they insist he doesn't owe them anything for their aid.

Azul:

How could such an opportunistic businessman like Azul not like such an absolute pushover- er- considerate individual! Plus Eden is always willing to at least hear out Azul’s current scam, sorry, venture, and even if they don’t buy in they offer (admittedly bad) advice. They always say things like ‘I just like hanging out and talking to you, Azul’ but certainly they’ve actually just been waiting on the right deal to make with him, right? If he ever seems to be angling extra hard to get Eden into another contract or something it’s because they’re an easy mark okay? It’s not like he just really wants them to think he’s cool and smart! It’s also not like he’s trying to save face after the whole Monstro Lounge expansion deal went horribly awry! Stop it with the sympathetic looks, Mr. Grey, I am trying to scam you!!

Eden gets quite exasperated with Azul’s slimy antics but they try really hard to be a friend after all the rough stuff Azul has been through. Honestly they also feel kinda bad about doing him dirty and getting all of his contracts destroyed, even if it was for the better. They always encourage him to better himself in healthier ways to pretty mixed results and they do their best to be patient with the guy (even when he regularly takes advantage of their kindness.) Eden admittedly also finds it amusing the lengths Azul goes to rope them into owing him things they would have done anyway (I would have done you a favor just because, man. Can you just ask next time?) Plus sometimes Azul lets them work shifts at the lounge so they can buy craft supplies so that’s a win.

Jade:

Jade thinks Eden is very…interesting. It was pretty clear to him early on that despite the way Eden insists on assuming the best of others, they are also very perceptive at reading a person’s deeper feelings. So he tends to keep a sizable distance so they can’t get too good of a read on him, unfortunately it’s also become something of a game to him. Now and then he likes to chat with them when they show up at the Monstro lounge to work or for a boba fix and see how mysterious he can keep himself. Besides, it's fun to speak to someone who shows such genuine interest in his species and his mountain based hobbies. (Autism to Autism communication)

Eden tries their best not to show just how much Jade intimidates them. Like the whole creepy eel man thing is fun- they were honestly so stunned to meet a real life merman that the first dozen times they spoke to him they made an absolute fool of themself. Still there’s something behind that smile they just can’t place…like he’s playing some bizarre one sided high stakes game with them. It’s way more unsettling than whatever Azul or Floyd have going on. Still they do their best to always say hi to him and ask about his cool terrarium projects…also secretly really curious about what makes the guy tick.

Floyd:

Little grey Shrimpy!! They’re so funny when they give him a hug and then they try to wiggle out of his arms when he won’t stop squeezing! Sometimes if he teases them enough they even turn into a bright pink shrimpy! Eden is fun to talk to because they never seem to mind Floyd’s sudden shift in interest and will just roll with whatever new topic he’s onto (ADHD to ADHD communication) Floyd is absolutely on Team Beat Down™️ if anyone else tries to pick on HIS Shrimpy (plus he just wants an excuse to fight people…)

He might not be as scary as Jade but Floyd has his moments and they always catch Eden by surprise. Fortunately they don’t seem to last long and even the worst of his squeezes have ended before they lost consciousness or anything. They had considered just not hugging him anymore but Floyd is their friend and he seemed pretty disappointed when they tried to skip out on a hug. So now they’ve just decided to just take their chances because hey, free pressure therapy! Something about Floyd’s smile and happy voice just appeals to Eden (to the confusion of most of their classmates) and they honestly like hanging out with him.

Kalim:

Kalim super duper appreciates having someone else around who just wants everyone to get along! He had practically made the decision on sight that he and Eden were going to be besties and Eden just rolled with it. He was extra mindful of them after Jamil’s overblot, feeling partly responsible for the whole debacle. Some people might be salty over how brutally honest Eden gets in the heat of the moment (Trey) but Kalim happily insists that they were a much needed wakeup call while facing Jamil’s overblot despite everyone else’s reaction. He particularly likes that Eden likes hugs and always accepts his invitations to things if they have time.

Eden is far from immune to Kalim’s boundless energy and literal sunshine personality even if they do find him a bit overwhelming at times. They often find themself bouncing between “It's okay, Kalim means well!” and “Oh man am I glad I’m not Jamil!” Still it’s quite nice to bask in Kalim’s constant positive energy even with his occasional out of touch rich person moments.

Jamil:

Despite being someone who is very mindful of how he presents himself Jamil has a hard time gauging how well he has fooled Eden. Even after his overblot he’s unsure of his standing with the other. They were always too kind for their own good but after everything he put them through they still go out of their way on occasion to help him? He has no clue what to make of it and has chosen to just steer clear of them, something made difficult when they keep making a point to talk to him… he does kind of enjoy the weird little interactions they have in a way, especially because they don’t tend to ask things of him.

Eden has absolutely edited the epic handshake meme to be about Jamil, Ruggie, and them. Looking after their respective problem-people has absolutely become an unspoken bond of comradery, mostly manifesting as knowing looks and slow nods. They admittedly think Jamil is kind of a jerk, but they also feel like he’s kind of earned the right to be. Even if they’re not close, Eden worries about Jamil and he’s oddly enough the one they came closest to telling about their visions during his overblot.

Vil:

Waaay more tolerant of the drab little prefect than he really should be (In Vil measurements at least) because even if they’re one of the least graceful potatoes he’s ever seen, they never fail to compliment him when the two cross paths (like just competing his makeup or hair out of nowhere? Without even a hint of irony or an ulterior motive of any kind??) He has developed a habit of scolding Eden for wearing their blazer off their shoulders or not taking better care of their skin and hair. “You’re never going to be on the level of a /Pomefiore/ student but at the very least try and show a little decorum for the school’s sake! My word is this DUST all over you? Ughh you’re going to bring the very property value of the school down like this!!”

Vil is way too fucking pretty, like it gives Eden pangs of anxiety and serious gender envy. They get so nervous when he approaches them that they panic and stutter out some silly compliments every time. They would love to ask him for makeup tips or talk about fashion but they’re way too intimidated. At first they thought they had hit the jackpot when Vil started aggressively rearranging them on sight and suggesting products for them to use (all of which are WAY too expensive upon researching) but as it’s gone on they can’t seem to figure out whether it’s actually intended to be helpful or if it’s some sort of weird new advanced form of bullying…

Epel:

Eden is refreshingly regular in Epel’s opinion and is a welcome break from the freaks in his own dorm. If he had his druthers he would probably be tempted to transfer to Ramshackle if Savanaclaw was off the table. It would be a breath of fresh air having someone like Eden to answer to after dealing with Vil’s tyranny. He catches himself feeling a little giddy when he gets the chance to hang out with Eden and their first year friends, it’s just nice to act a bit more like himself without fear of judgment.

Epel is SO CUTE AAAA! Not that Eden would ever say that to his face because they know it would embarrass him, but still! Cutie!! They always make a point of cheering him on when he’s excited or proud about something while making a point not to just pick him up and squeeze him no matter how badly they want to.

Rook:

Ah yes the lovely Mx nuage d'orage is a most curious little thing indeed! While they are a bit plain, Rook of all people can of course admire their subtle beauty and is convinced that with a bit of work they could be an ‘ethereal vision of genderfluid beauty!’ Certainly a little makeover by the magnificent Vil Schoenheit would work wonders towards this goal if Eden would only accept Rook’s invitation to stop by the Pomefiore dorm for a visit and sit still for a few- oh? Where are you off to my little storm cloud?? I will gladly give chase but rest assured I most certainly WILL catch you!! :)

Rook is a freak. Grade A, high quality weirdo. And that’s great! Eden loves a good old fashioned oddball to talk to but Rook is…kinda intense. Like he fits in the same category as Jade of “guys who absolutely have a plan to kill everyone they meet, should the need arise’. Also every other thing he says has the tone of someone about to declare he’s madly in love with whoever he’s talking to. Eden can’t tell if he’s putting the moves on them just to make them go red in the face like Cater and Floyd do or if that's just? How Rook talks? (Probably the latter) They do their best to keep chats with Rook light and short, skirting around his makeover invitations as they would really hate to clutter Vil’s certainly already packed schedule! Still it seems like that particular anxiety nightmare becomes more of an inevitability every time it’s brought up, Rook doesn’t really seem like he’s going to take ‘no thank you’ as a valid answer…

Idia:

Idia claims he just ‘doesn’t get’ Eden, but honestly he’s a little envious that they manage themself so well in pvp mode with the school's biggest extroverts. Like Eden seems cool or whatever but it’s kinda cringe how nice they still are to everyone even after all the shit some of those guys have put them through. It is pretty cool the way they always seem ready to let him infodump tho and never shame him for some of his ‘eccentricities’ the way the other Housewardens do….Okay, maybe if Eden asks about that new game he’s playing one more time he miiight break down and teach them how to play- he’s gonna be short a healer for the upcoming raid next month anyway… (Autism to Autism communication part 2)

Eden likes Idia!! Sure he’s fucking awkward but so are they!! They would actually really like to get to know him better (they seem to share some of the same interests) but Idia makes it pretty difficult. Eden sort of just keeps trying to get him to come around and open up a bit.

Ortho:

Eden is so cool!! When Ortho first met them they were SUPER NICE!! And they asked a lot of questions about him and thought that all of his brother’s handiwork was amazing!! And they’re the first person he’s ever met that called themself nonbinary so Ortho looked up a bunch of stuff about gender identity and then rushed to explain it to everyone so they knew all of Eden’s pronouns and stuff!! Seriously Eden is so awesome they always have time to talk to him and even Idia thinks they’re kinda cool so they should definitely be friends with Idia and maybe rub off on him a little bit!

Eden was blown away by Ortho on sight and thinks he’s absolutely adorable! Normally such an energetic kid would overwhelm them but Ortho was quick to learn when he needed to dial things back a bit for Eden’s comfort like he does for his brother. Seriously, Eden’s mood picks up the moment he sees Ortho, that kid rocks!

Malleus:

It’s easy to imagine that the great Malleus Draconia wouldn’t have looked twice at someone like Eden, but after stumbling upon them occupying his favorite (previously) abandoned building on campus he found himself instantly fascinated with them. First of all they had no idea who he was, second they didn’t seem to find him particularly frightening in the least. Eden seemed so warm, so happy to meet him, coming close and addressing him in the sort of informal tone they would have used for any other student at NRC. It was all so charmingly novel, down to the silly little name they devised for him when he chose to withhold his real name.

Malleus has come to cherish any time spent with Eden and he seeks them out any chance he can get (away from other students at least). Eden seems to take a real interest in him, they even seem to enjoy joining him on his tours of the school's various architectural features (it’s so fun having someone new to share these interests with!) and they’ll even sit right next to him and talk the evening away. Sometimes Eden will even touch Malleus on the arm or pat his shoulder with ease and never recoils from Malleus’s own touches (it’s just nice that they aren’t afraid of him is all! It’s not like he thinks about touching them constantly...) Even Malleus’s features that a human might find frightening seem to charm his sweet child of man! Eden really likes his horns and thinks his eyes are pretty (your eyes are pretty too, child of man… what? I’m just being friendly!) and even his teeth seem to fascinate them. The way Eden makes him feel is just so curious, as if there’s something fluttering about in his stomach. Is this just what friendship feels like? (The gay thoughts can’t get you if don’t acknowledge them, right?) Perhaps he should ask Lilia about that… Regardless, he’s become quite attached to Eden and very protective of them. If anything or anyone threatened them or his relationship with them, the culprit would very quickly regret it!

For the first month or so of their friendship with Hornton Eden was almost convinced they were dreaming him up. Some gorgeous eccentric fairy man appearing from thin air outside the dorm with dragon horns and a smoky voice talking like he just stumbled out of a fantasy novel? Riiight. Plus they never seemed to spot him in the halls or during the school day! Yeah, they were pretty sure he was just their subconscious having some fun with their new surroundings. But Hornton is very real and so…strange! Not bad or mean of course, actually he seems really sweet. He’s a bit awkward but lovably so, and so gentle; he almost acts as if Eden is made of tissue paper or something. More than anything Hornton seems to fret about scaring them, which is beyond silly. Sure he's a tad spooky, but Eden loves spooky things! They do worry about Hornton a bit though, he seems a bit lonely and they fear they might be his only friend so they do their best to invite him to things when they can (he always looks so surprised and happy, even though he seldom accepts) and when that fails they just make a point to spend more time alone with him at the very least (what constitutes something as a date rather that just a hangout, by the way? No reason, just curious~)

Silver:

If you asked Silver about Eden he would say they hadn’t formally met beyond exchangeing a few words here and there but that he found them quite a pleasant presence to have on campus. Most of what he knows of them is through Malleus, Lillia, and Sebek.

At first Eden found Silver super serious and kind of intimidating until they realized he was actually a perfect gentleman who was just kinda sleepy. They often spot him asleep around campus and will check to make sure he’s somewhere safe or sit with him a while to make sure he’s okay. They’ve formed a pretty warm regard for him because of this, even if Silver has no idea.

Sebek:

Not the least bit interested in Eden, perhaps even a little bit annoyed that some no-magic mortal is allowed to roam about the same prestigious campus that his lord, The Great Malleus Draconia, gracees with his presence! Sure they’re patient and thoughtful and go out of their way to be friendly but that doesn't mean he has to like them! He doesn't like them okay!!

Eden’s main opinion of Sebek is that he needs to make better use of his inside voice. His constant loud bursts set Eden a bit on edge but they do their best to keep their irritation to themself since he doesn't seem to do it on purpose. The constant fuss about this high and mighty ‘Malleus’ guy is admittedly a particularly grating feature of Sebek for Eden- like who would want people to talk about them like that? In any case they’re glad to have steered clear of the prince so far. Still they nod along and ask questions in autistic solidarity when Sebek gets going.

Lilia:

Oooh Eden is a curious little thing, that’s for sure. Lillia has had quite a few chances to chat with Eden as they often get roped into helping the pop music club with things. Plus he’s often offered his ear to Malleus’s love sick whining er- passionate retellings of his visits with them. Malleus often says there’s something special about them, and Lillia agrees although for different reasons. Eden is from another world and while they don’t seem to have magic in the traditional sense they do have certain curious features that Lillia can’t quite place. So far he’s just shrugged it off and watches them curiously, choosing to ask them strange questions on occasion and resisting the urge to wingman on Malleus’s behalf (although boy is it tempting!)

Eden initially responded to Lilia the way they did to Vil- he’s way too pretty and an object of intense gender envy. However Lillia quickly proved to be way more approachable and friendly, even if he’s odd. Eden likes odd and chalks up most of the fae man’s quirks to cultural differences. They’re still a bit intimidated, but their fascination with the fae usually wins out over their anxieties.

Crowley:

Being the very kind and generous man that he is, Dire’s heart was positively breaking at the sight of poor Eden, lost and alone in a strange new world! That’s why he so very kindly allowed them a place at the school, making special concessions for their ‘unique’ learning and housing situations! Certainly no one could blame him for accepting their gracious offers to help him out here and there- it’s a good thing for Eden to feel useful, right? Honestly under all his slimy antics Dire is genuinely concerned with Eden’s well-being. He checks on them often without their knowledge and really does try to keep them in mind. It’s not a lot but enough information has slipped for him to understand that Eden didn’t exactly grow up in a good situation and while he’s really bad at it not exactly suited for it he wants to be a sort of dad figure to them if he can. He knows he often takes advantage of Eden’s willingness to earn their keep but he does actually feel conflicted about, it at least…

Eden has a pretty big blind spot when it comes to Dire and if he ever really seriously screwed them over it would be particularly painful. Sure he’s a little shady but hey, most people at NRC are. They really don’t begrudge him for all the nonsense he saddles them with (they like to give him shit but that’s because it’s fun), after all he didn’t have to take them in like he did. As much as anyone at NRC has taken advantage of Eden’s kindness, Dire could probably get away with even more. He’s a bit of an ass but he was ‘kind’ to them during a time they hadn’t seen much kindness. They had been at their most helpless and scared there in his office, near tears as they nervously explained that Eden wasn’t their legal name back in their world to Dire who had asked for spelling on the paperwork. All it took was for Dire to just smile and pat their shoulder, assuring them it didn’t matter. As far as he was concerned they could be whoever they liked and insisted there was no need for a deadname on documents he was starting from scratch.

Crewel:

The new no-magic puppy had seemed like a guaranteed headache at first. Eden was clumsy, awkward, and trouble seemed to be magnetically drawn to them. However they were (almost frustratingly at fIrst) dedicated to learning how to make potions. Their enthusiasm almost makes up for their lack of magic.

Eden was absolutely terrified of Divius at first, and they still kind of are, but they’ve come to really admire him and they have the most embarrassing desire to impress him. Potions is something they actually can participate in and they’re not about to squander anything Divius teaches them.

Trein:

As far as Mozus is concerned Eden is no different from any other student in his class. They don’t need magic to learn magic history so he was firm from day one on them receiving no special treatment. To his surprise (maybe even delight?) Eden was perfectly fine with his assertions and has been more or less a model student, save for occasionally wrangling their rowdy friends.

Eden found they quite like Trein. Sure he’s strict and dry but he’s not at all mean or unfair. Plus he brings a cat to class? You expect Eden to not look forward to a class that has a kitty?? Besides magic history beats their world’s history no contest! It’s like listening to someone earnestly lecture about Dungeons and Dragons lore for two hours.

Vargas:

Vargas is fully convinced Eden is capable of magic if they just listened to him and shaped up their noodly little body!

Eden was not built for intense physical exertion and Vargas’s class regularly reminds them of that fact. They’re also still pretty salty about how the coach conducted the survival camping trip…

Sam:

Eden is a good little imp, a bit shy but nothing a little friendly banter can’t fix! Sam is actually one of the most openly sympathetic faculty members when it comes to Eden’s situation and he’s often working to find products and snacks analogous to one’s Eden misses from their home world.

Sam has seen some of Eden’s darkest moments (having an out of body experience in front to the soft drinks at 2am) and their strangest quirks (buying the same three unhealthy instant meals for weeks on end because it was the only thing their senses could tolerate) and he does so without judgment and only a little concern, so he’s a winner in Eden’s book.

[arcxnumvitae]

🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

💙 BLUE HEART — does your oc have any cool/special powers and/or abilities? how are they with magic, if it exists in their world?

For Zhaohui and Qingshan!

@soulsxng || details about ocs!

🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

He has a pretty bad habit of messing with his hair when it’s down, around his face, or within hands reach of him. Things like pulling on it, rolling a strand between his fingers, anything along those lines. It is actually pretty distracting to him though when he gets to messing with it, so it’s part of the reason why he keeps it tied up or back. It’s also indicative of him focusing or trying to focus on something if he pushes it back and redoes the tie.

He also has a bad habit of getting into people’s personal space whenever he’s getting more interested in what they say, or if he’s overall getting pretty into the conversation. This one he’s also aware about and whether he reels it in depends entirely on how nice he plans on being in that moment.

For someone always wearing a smile, Zhaohui’s “true face” is actually pretty expressionless. Once someone digs past the layers of joking, then rage, they’ll reach…nothing. It’s like hitting the roots of one of those dead, petrified trees. It’s a worrying phenomenon for sure (for me at least), and something that he actually fully hasn’t caught onto yet.

💙 BLUE HEART — does your oc have any cool/special powers and/or abilities? how are they with magic, if it exists in their world?

Zhaohui has his never mentioned pearl! He doesn’t ever really have a need to use it, but it’s there. As something often associated with dragons in Chinese mythology, Zhaohui’s pearl is something that was essentially born alongside him. It’s linked to him and he has the ability to use it essentially as a scrying ball and see whatever thing or person that he wants with it. An exception exists where locations of people with especially strong magical protections— or, in Jianhuren’s case when they were missing, exceptionally funky curse stuff going on— are unable to be seen by him. However, the pearl is still capable of showing him “truths”, like how it revealed to him the true story behind Jianhuren’s disappearance. It’s something unique just to him as a fucanglong and he rarely brings it out from its…basically hammerspace. More on that in a second. It’s about palm-sized, black, and glimmers with the a golden undertone that’s the same shade as the gold in his hair and scales.

Going off from that, and this will also dip into Qingshan’s abilities a bit, is his ability to use enchantments. Enchantments are basicallllllly spells granted for use solely by the Red Eyes where expertise and mastery can only come with time and practice. It’s, how to explain it? Its limitations are only the dragon’s imagination and ability.

One example is a translation one used by the Red Eyes whenever they’re out and about. Of course, it was on the dragon themself to learn a language since it still took time to master enchantments enough. For example, Huaxiu learned a whole host of languages because he could utilize the translator effectively enough, and Minglian hasn’t really gotten it down yet, so she’s still manually learning languages and can only communicate in certain ones. Other example of use include creating constructs, like platforms or restraints, and basically having a hammerspace the Red Eyes generally use to store their weapon when not in use but in case they might need to be whipped out.

Zhaohui’s mastery is basically abysmal. He can use the translation enchantment, hammerspace, a baby bit of construct creation though it’s not as strong as it could be, and that’s about it. He essentially stopped practicing and using it much after his banishment.

Geez, this is already long enough but I forgot about the basic stuff for dragons! I'll...put it in Qingshan's section since it won't be as long as I covered a lot of other basic stuff in this one.

🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

Qingshan has a tendency to fold and cross her arms in front of her! Cocking her head, she also of note makes facial expression very reminiscent to Huaxiu— or, more like, Huaxiu’s expressions harken back to her.

Give her something that’s in a pair of four and she’ll subtly do whatever to change the number. Four of one thing on a plate? She’s quietly either quickly eating one or destroying it with a utensil somehow. It’s more of a subconscious, ‘oh dear, four’, act than anything.

💙 BLUE HEART — does your oc have any cool/special powers and/or abilities? how are they with magic, if it exists in their world?

I already described the Red Eyes’ ability for enchantments at length! Haha, so let me just say Qingshan also didn’t practice as much because she was more interested in training with physical weapons, but she’s at least better than Zhaohui in terms of what she can do.

Going into dragon-specific stuff now! Dragons are hardy little lizards. Their scales are impervious can only be injured by enchanted metal-- metal enchanted by a specific process within their geographical area of supernaturals re: China. The gods also included this weakness in the Red Eyes so they didn't have servants that were too unstoppable, in case something went sideways one day. Anyways, enchanted metal can do a number on dragons and you can get creative with it! Get it in a liquid form? It'll mess up their insides. Powder? Probably won't be great if they breathe it in. So on.

Aside from that, dragons are generally all the usuals-- faster than humans, stronger, near instant healing ability. Some of the specific dragons have different abilities, like Meihui. Qingshan and the Red Eyes minus Zhaohui are Tianlongs-- Celestial dragons-- though.

I think I covered everything? I sure hope I did!

[atplblog]

Price: [price_with_discount] (as of [price_update_date] - Details) [ad_1] Tired of second-guessing yourself while mixing?Mixing doesn't have to be hard. You just need the right process to follow so that you can be confident in your decisions. This book contains the step-by-step formula for creating professional rock mixes (even from your home studio)Most home studio engineers don't have a process to follow as they mix. As a result, they find themselves feeling unsure of where to begin, how to process individual tracks, make them all work together, and know exactly when to stop. This causes serious extreme frustration since it can be both time consuming and often results in weak, lifeless mixes. That's where this book comes in handy. This step-by-step guide will help you:Create balanced, polished mixesMaster tools like EQ, compression, effects and moreDevelop a workflow to make the art of mixing easyDiscover the key frequency ranges you need to always pay attention toMix faster and feel more confident with your decisionsIf you’re looking to create mixes that sound professional, polished and huge, this book has the answers you need.ReviewsMike Indovina’s book, “The Mixing Mindset,” is the beginners’ mixing instruction manual we’ve been missing. This book is loaded with great information that so many other mixing instructors never mention. It of course goes into detail on all the technical aspects of mixing, giving examples of good EQ and compression moves for all kinds of situations, but it also largely focuses on the creative decision-making and problem-solving skills needed to construct a great mix. This is the key thing that so many other mixing tip sources fail to touch on. Most of the material you can find elsewhere on the subject will just throw suggestions at you without actually hearing where it’s being applied, and beginners will take that as a kind of cure-all solution for any situation; when in actuality the tip likely won’t work in their case. Mike makes a point of letting you know that you need to actually use your ears and evaluate your own mix to diagnose what exactly the problems are. He makes sure that you’re aware that there is no cure all, while still giving you all the tools you need to be capable of finding the solution to your unique mixing problems. “The Mixing Mindset” is going to change the way people learn mixing, and will likely lead to young engineers improving significantly more quickly than they ever have before.- Bryan PrimroseAbout The Author:Mike Indovina is a recording, mixing, and mastering engineer who has worked with hundreds of artists throughout his career. He has been fortunate to work alongside many major artists (including KISS and Collective Soul) and labels such as Universal, Sony, Republic, Roadrunner, and more.He runs www.masteryourmix.com where he helped teach thousands of aspiring studio engineers to create pro-level mixes from home. ASIN ‏ : ‎ B07MHB8BJ2 Language ‏ : ‎ English File size ‏ : ‎ 1951 KB Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled X-Ray

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[dizzyonmywizzy]

looking for opinions on my goobies fanfiction idea [NSFW 18+ warning]

for those who don’t know, Goobies is a fine piece of media craft that is currently in a top-down auto-shooter game format. but lately I have been wanting to take it to the next level and explore the world provided to us in a bit more depth.

The main characters in our story are Hoozey Woozey, a big dude with a hot bod (literally has a high temperature according to the extremely brief in-game lore) and incredible fisting abilities (strong arms for punching, which even though it isn’t ‘canon’ is his primary fighting style in the story) and Spinky Winky who runs really fast and is capable of rapidly firing out goopy globs with such force that they may as well be bullets.

Other minor characters include Wiggle Woogle, who is effectively Hoozey’s pet and floats around like a a blob of liquid in zero-g. Basically no offensive capabilities. She’s just there to be cute. This is the only character who can’t speak and Dizzy Wizzy, who kinda lurches around like a drunkard and shoot blobs similar to Spinky, but at a much slower speed. Their chemical composition is such that the blobs he shoots with it combust in an explosive manner (I made that up because the game doesn’t explain why the shit he kills explodes)

I also am trying find a way to work Bingus Bongus into the story, but I don’t really know how to fit what’s basically a single big dump-truck ass that primarily attacks by bouncing dat ass around into the story. It’s just a pretty overpowered fighting style, so I wouldn’t know how to make Bingus die with Dizzy Wizzy (whoops spoilers)

Alright, now we get into the actual story bits. It’s just a framework so you all will have to excuse the messiness of the details.

All of our characters live on the same island, which is about to be swarmed with an invasive species of black blobs. No it is not a racial allegory. Take it up with the Goobies developers if you see it that way, you damn racist. Anyway, these guys range from little blobs, to big blobs, to amongus-shaped blobs, to spidery blobs, blobs that are suicide bombers, and boss blobs that we can get to later… basically it’s a whole lot of blobs.

I’m not particularly attached to the characters’ genders. The choices will make more sense once you read the NSFW ending but these guys are blobs, they really don’t even need to be gendered. They don’t even need to be capable of contorting their bodies to have genitals.

Anyway, here’s how the story starts. Hoozey is out with his pet, Wiggle, and just so happens to encounter Spinky while he’s out. I guess they’re just doing their own things. Details are still a work in progress, like I said. They feel like something is off with the amount of aggressive black blobs that they’ve been seeing around lately, and lo and behold they start bouncing out of the ocean en masse.

It’s mostly the weak bitches, and their numbers are nothing to really write home about until a bunch of blobs walking on four legs show up along with this octopus looking motherfucker shows up. I should mention that none of the normal enemies are really any bigger than the main characters. The spider blobs are about the same size as them, as is the octo-blob. It’s at this point the characters realize a serious issue might be arising, and they agree to have the speedy Spinky take Wiggle to safety and call for help from their other friends.

So Hoozey is left on his own to fight the big fuckers and I’m going to make this a cool fight scene. Lots of gory blob action. In game the octopus blob is a mini-boss, and it has this thing it does where it starts sucking you in towards it. All I know for sure is I want it to do this to Hoozey while he’s struggling to hang on to a tree or some shit and eventually let go, using the socking to give himself tons of momentum and fucking slam the octopus into a big mess.

Now comes a boss, Amam, who’s pissed that so many blobs are dying (and is capable of speaking). Amam is a big fucker with epic hair that ass-crashes into the ground to launch projectiles in all directions, and can focus energy into big explosive projectiles.

Hoozey’s kinda getting butt-fucked, but then Spinky shows up with their friend(s). This is where Dizzy Wizzy comes in, and optionally Bingus if you want.

They do some epic shit, killing tons of little minion blobs, spider blobs, and figuring out Hoozey can throw little blobs at Amam for Dizzy to shoot so they explode like grenades. Hoozey does some epic shit where, to finish Amam off, he climbs up on Amam’s face, increases his body temperature (he can control it when he gets really mad) and singes Amam’s eyes out with his burning hot hands while the other characters shoot the shit out of it. Amam explodes into a huge gory (for blobs) mess and the characters convene to have some-post battle dialogue.

Dizzy reveals he sent Wiggle to hide safely in a mountain cave. It’s important to include that they need to go back and get Wiggle or she’s gonna fucking die in there. I don’t want any loose ends by the end of the story like “WHAT HAPPENED TO WIGGLE IS SHE OKAY.” If they die, Wiggle will die.

But the calm doesn’t last long. The sea is dark and churning, and it’s because there’s a massive fucking swarm of blobs, big and small, with a horde of amoguses running headlong at them. They have no choice but to run away and Dizzy is so dumb and slow that he gets totally consumed. The blobs get killed by absorbing things into their bodies, so he’s like getting absorbed by dozens of blobs and screaming horribly. It’s awful.

And here’s where the endings come in. I’m not sure which I want to use yet.

The “canon” and clean ending is this: They run to a mountain at the center of the island, blob army hot at their heels, and eventually get surrounded and die, crying out to each other as they get consumed. It’s an epic and emotional last stand where they fight even though they’re getting fucking annihilated. It’s the bad ending, and is canon cus you literally cannot win in the game. You play until you get overrun and die.

The good ending is as follows.

To escape the horrifying horde, they climb up a very steep cliff face until they can’t anymore and look out over the seemingly endless horde of blobs, still coming out of the ocean yet covering every inch of land on the island. Hoozey and Spinky are scared and know that they have no way out and perhaps an hour at most, as the blobs are climbing on each other World War Z style to try and get up to them. They could fight back, but defeat is inevitable. They confess their love for each other and fornicate. I envision Hoozey using his big strong arms to hold Spinky while he… does the thing, but as an amogus it’s not like Spinky has love handles or anything. Idk.

Now I will tell you that this is an impreg scene. Spinky needs to bear Hoozey’s child. As blobs, they have a very rapid gestation period and Spinky will spawn the child in like 5 minutes mitosis style. All of Hoozey’s - gum? Congeals into a blob inside of Spinky that grows very rapidly, splits off, and continues growing into a blobg that is built like Hoozey, but huge and with super long limbs.

They’re very surprised by the fact that this happened. I guess Spinky didn’t know she was ovulat—globulating? I dunno. They were just banging to enjoy their last minutes but it’s actually gonna save them.

Also the child retains both of their memories and is fully matured in like 5 minutes, ready for battle. Blob biology.

The child does some epic shit where it grabs blobs, now coming over the cliff face and pops them like grapes. Then starts throwing them in bunches into the crowd where they explode epicly, killing thousands. He’s like the beast titan if the beast titan could make everything he threw explode.

Together they dive into the crowd, believing that victory is possible and that they can save their island.

Cliffhanger ending. Do they win? I don’t know, reader, that’s for you to decide.

I am the greatest author of all time. Everyone else can eat shit. I literally made blobs fucking an essential plot point.

Anyway, thoughts ?

[cyberwulf]

Let Me Make You A Plate

Delia shows love and appreciation by making people food. Weight gain but not fetish weight gain. Hanamusa, obviously. SFW, slightly suggestive in places.

Professor Oak (“Please, Delia, call me Sam. We’ve known each other long enough”) has always been a patient teacher and a good friend. Delia’s badly in need of both, left alone with a baby and a business and a broken heart. Sam steps up without her having to ask, happy to take Ash for a few hours or overnight or all weekend if it’s what she needs. If something around the house needs fixing, he takes care of it, and if he can’t then he usually knows who can. She’s at a loss at first for how to repay him – she feels so young and stupid compared to him – until she finds out that he barely cooks and lives in organised chaos since his kids left home. So in return for his advice and support, she gives him a home-cooked meal or a fresh pastry every week.

She makes too much, she knows she does. Diner-sized and growing boy-sized portions. Sam eats it all and jokes that she’s responsible for his middle-age spread, and she holds her breath, but he seems content to grow pudgy and grey – he’s a grandpa, after all.

They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Every once in a while, Sam looks at her like he’s going to say something, and Delia holds her breath again… but he never does. She’s relieved. They’re friends. That’s how it should stay.

---

What Ash has told her about Brock’s home life makes Delia’s blood boil. How dare, how dare his father take off without a word? How dare he force his oldest son to be Mr. Mom to ten younger children? Who took care of Brock? Who takes care of Brock?

Well, she’s going to, even though Brock insists on earning his keep, muscling her out of the kitchen, fighting with Mimey over who gets to clean. One morning she gets the drop on him, rising earlier than she has since Ash stopped nursing. The look on his face when he comes downstairs to bacon and eggs and hash browns and fresh squeezed Oran berry juice is something Delia will treasure forever.

“Thanks, Mrs. Ketchum.”

Delia pats his shoulder. She doesn’t let him do the dishes.

---

Tracey has a mother, Delia’s sure, who sent her son off into the big wide world and worries about him every night. So she goes out of her way to make sure Tracey gets a decent meal once a week, even though he’s more than capable of cooking, and Sam swears to her that he doesn’t just order take-out when it’s his turn to fix dinner. It’s her way of paying it forward.

Thank you, Brock. Thank you, Tracey. Thank you Norm and Caroline and Johanna and Nurse Joy and everybody who makes sure my son has a full belly and a safe place to sleep.

That summer, Sam and Tracey paint her house.

---

It’s their gaunt faces and growling stomachs, more than any protestation of innocence, that convince Delia that Team Rocket are no longer Team Rocket. Pokémon thieves they may have been, but not successful ones, at least not for a long time. The sheer quantity of food they put away at the diner is unnerving, but finding all three of them shoulder deep in her fridge later that same night has her preparing for tummy trouble. Fortunately, there are no ill-effects, but it isn’t healthy for them to stuff themselves with as much as they can hold. They eye each other nervously as Delia explains this, then stare at her in wonder when she reassures them that they’ll get three squares a day, and two snacks for good measure. All three of them wail at her feet, exclaiming at her kindness and swearing they’ll never be bad again.

It's a little over the top. But she’ll take it.

---

Delia’s not angry when she finds Meowth and a bag of Pokémon food trapped in an invisible box with Mimey glaring at him, just disappointed. Delia picks him up as he begins to cry, sobbing out a story of a kittenhood spent stealing to eat in between pleas not to kick him out. He’s light in her arms, lighter than Pikachu, and Delia doesn’t know much about Pokémon but that can’t be good.

“Meowth, if you were still hungry, all you had to do was ask.”

He looks at her in surprise as she sits him at the table (to a vicious look from Mimey) and fixes him a bowl of Pokémon food with canned tuna on top. Later that evening, when Jessie and James aren’t around, he climbs onto the couch beside her and rubs his cheek against her arm.

Delia stops setting him a place when after a long day at the corral he practically waddles in, and nearly turns green at the prospect of more food. Of course Sam’s spoiling him, and as the weeks go on he loses his scrawny look, coat and charm and eyes shining. He’s solid when Delia picks him up.

She still slips him a treat whenever he asks.

---

Something about eating together fulfils a need in James. He talks off-handedly about a wealthy childhood, but Delia gets the sense that there was very little love involved. She knows he misses the four of them sitting down to eat now that he and Meowth have moved out, and she knows that he and Meowth have different workdays and don’t often get to eat together either.

So Delia makes sure that when there’s a break in customers, she and James share a meal. He’s a sweet man, funny, kind to his Pokémon – it’s hard to believe he was ever a villain. She worried at first that it would be weird to talk to him about Jessie, but it isn’t. He’s rooting for their budding romance, enough to give Delia advice and warning in equal measure.

She’s the first to notice he’s gained weight, a soft belly pooching over his waistband when he sits down. Like a retired basketball player going to seed. Just like with Sam, she holds her breath, waiting for talk of dieting or wailing about getting fat.

“Ugh, this dress makes me look like I’m expecting.”

James frowns at himself in the mirror, the figure-hugging material accentuating his little tummy, and Delia braces herself.

“…Just mineral water for me please, dear. I’m in the family way.”

“Stop.”

Delia sighs in relief as James continues to mime being pregnant, to Jessie’s increasing disgust.

---

Jessie doesn’t talk much about her past, but what she does mention paints a grim picture. Mother left at a young age, no father around. Foster homes with too many kids (which might be why Jessie makes a big deal out of the slightest illness – how else to get attention?). Only one pencil for school, meagre Christmases, thwarted dreams of being a nurse. Snow – literal snow – for dinner is Jessie’s fondest memory, and it makes Delia want to cry.

There’s nothing Delia can do about any of that, so she cooks. Large meals with enough for seconds and thirds and leftovers, pies and pastries on her days off. The fridge and pantry are full of fruit and yoghurt and cheese. And something starts to happen as the weeks and months go by, and she and Jessie grow closer. Jessie starts to soften. Emotionally, at first. It turns out that prickly Jessie is mostly just hangry Jessie. What’s left softens too, even with James and Meowth – it’s more like banter than nastiness now.

Then, physically. An inch or two here, some extra padding there, rounder cheeks, fuller – figure. She’s healthier, and happier, and continues to grow more so every day.

One morning, Jessie can’t button her jeans.

Delia steels herself for a meltdown. Jessie’ll always look beautiful in her eyes, skinny and heavy, but the other woman is vain, very proud of her image, and society’s beauty standards –

“Babe?”

Jessie pouts at her from in front of the mirror.

“Can I get some money to go clothes-shopping?” she pleads. “These old things simply can’t contain my voluptuous curves.”

So Delia keeps cooking. Not for herself – it’s not a fetish thing – although Jessie’s plush hips and heavy breasts are a welcome bonus. She cooks for a little girl who never had enough – not food, or toys, or support, or love.

---

Ash is coming home. If Delia had a fatted Tauros, it’d be on the grill right now. She makes do with a pot roast and veggies and a turkey and soup and a big chocolate pie. James and Meowth are deputised, Tracey and Mimey keep the workstations clear, Sam peels a million potatoes and Jessie takes the balloon to Viridian City to bring Ash the rest of the way.

Her boy is clean but tired as Jessie walks him in the door, a little overwhelmed by the family and friends crammed into the kitchen and all calling out in welcome. Delia hands off the soup to James and gives him a big hug.

“Dinner’ll be a while longer, sweetie,” she murmurs. “You can have a lie down if you want.”

“Thanks, Mom.” She almost doesn’t hear him mumble “I missed you” into her chest. He pulls away and smiles at her girlfriend. “Thanks for picking me up.”

Jessie smiles back. “Any time, twerp.”

The rest does Ash good, and at dinner he’s himself again, talking about his adventures and the latest villainous team to try conquering the world, prompting snorts of derision from Jessie, James and Meowth. It leads to reminiscing about the old days, though all concerned are glad to leave them behind. And so the meal continues, good food and good company.

Sam snores in an armchair with Meowth on his lap. Tracey insists on clearing the table, and to Delia’s surprise Ash joins him. James brings her a fresh cup of coffee and ushers her into the den, where Jessie draws her into a loose embrace on the couch.

“Room for me on there?”

Delia budges up some and Ash settles in beside her.

“You’re the best mom in the world,” he whispers, and Jessie squeezes her hand.

Delia blinks away tears. Her house is full of love.

colored that sketch i did a while back~

[farm-girl-fictional]

Dude Looks like a Lady

Theme:

Characters: Loki & OCs

Rating: T (language… and mentions of ‘Twilight’—reader discretion advised because of the latter)

Genre: Humor and family  

Summary: A short tale involving denim shorts, a crop top, a mortified teenage girl, and a chaos god that doesn’t give a shit. 

Being over a millennium old, Loki had had many experiences both good and bad.  Finding out he was a Frost Giant; ruling over Asgard for a brief time; attempting to take over Earth and being imprisoned for it; helping Thor avenge the death of their mother and protect the woman he loved and being killed in the process; being brought back to life—just a few of the highlights.  But none of these or any other past experiences could ever have come close to those that came along with being the guardian of a sixteen-year-old Midgardian female that he now found himself encountering on a daily basis.  No, such a lifestyle—as well as his charge, Brynn—was proving quite the education.

         One of the most recent experiences had centered around the seemingly mundane concept of laundry.  Aside from the fact that, until the last year on Earth, Loki had never done laundry in his life (that’s what servants were for and what being a prince granted you); Loki had never realized how much of a hassle the chore was.  First, there was the sorting: whites and colors had to be separated; denim and heavier fabrics were best sorted into their own piles rather than clumped together with everything else; delicates needed a pile of their own as well.  Then there was the washing; whites used hot water, everything else could be cold or warm water; delicates should often be handled by the instructions on the tag and this often meant hand-washing; heavily soiled clothing shouldn’t just be thrown in the washer—it had to have a little extra care in order to get them effectively clean and avoid unsightly stains; you had to adjust the size of the loads so that there’d be enough water in the machine to actually get the clothes clean; and always remember to put the soap in or else you’re just rinsing the clothes and you might as well just use a hose if that’s the idea. 

The drying process was much easier, though sometimes you had to make a judgment call on whether to use the dryer or the clothesline outside.  (On at least a couple occasions, the weather forecast had gone unnoticed and Brynn and Loki had ended up outside racing the storm clouds in an effort to get the half-dry laundry off the line before it got soaked again.)

         But if sorting through dirty clothes was the most unpleasant part of the laundry process, the most boring process, by far, was folding.  Not only was it tedious to fold the clothing it was also tedious to once again sort through the clothes so the right person ended up with the right garments.  It was also somewhat awkward.  Neither of them enjoyed handling each other’s underthings, nor the idea of the other handling them.

         In part, that was the main reason for the decision for them to each do their own laundry.  They were both more than capable of this by now (though sometimes Loki did still ask Brynn for help if he was unsure or something slipped his mind), and it was much easier to keep track of what belonged to who and made them far more comfortable.  But, once in a while, something occurred that would lead to someone’s clothes ending up in the wash with someone else’s.  Such a case was what led to Loki’s most recent experience with Brynn.

         It had started off innocently enough.  Loki had just thrown a load of his shirts into the washing machine when Brynn had arrived home from school and walked through the back door soaked and muddy….

         “What happened to you?” Loki chuckled, arms crossed as he leaned against the doorpost.  He looked the sixteen-year-old up and down.

         Brynn scowled at him, lips curled into a snarl and a slight growl rumbling out of her chest.  She was not in the mood for his teasing.  “Slipped and fell on my ass in the mud walking up the driveway,” she grumbled.  “About half a dozen times!  Seriously, we need to get some rock put down that thing, or else someone’s gonna end up breaking their leg after a rainstorm, and it’ll probably be me!”  The teen angrily dropped her mud-splattered book bag to the mudroom floor, tossed her sandals (which she’d been carrying) to the side, and kicked off her dirty rain boots.  Afterward, she eyed the bag a bit dolefully.  “You can magic this clean right?” she asked, looking at her guardian with hopeful, blue-gray eyes.

         The raven-haired god looked over the bag with pursed lips, taking in the damage, before finally nodding affirmatively.  “I can do something about that,” he assured her with a smirk.  “I am a master sorcerer after all.”

         Brynn smiled, looking rather relieved.  “Good!  ‘Cuz I think the books inside are wet too.”

         The Asgardian’s brilliant green eyes suddenly widened in mock alarm and he splayed his hands across his chest with a dramatic gasp.  “Odin forbid!  We mustn’t allow such tragedy to befall such remarkable tomes of knowledge!”  Loki found what Brynn’s school so laughably referred to as “educational reading material” was really anything but educational and the most mind-numbingly dull works of text he’d ever come across in his life.  At least most of them.  Her science book could be fairly interesting from time to time.  As could her literature one. 

         The girl gave him a hard look, albeit a playful one.  “Well, if you wanna pay for the damage done to school text-books fine then, go ahead.  They’re all pretty much falling apart anyway, they’re so old.”  Then she grew serious as she added, “But seriously, at least save my reading book—it’s Maddie’s and she’ll kill me if I ruin it.”

         Loki rolled his eyes at the mention of the dreaded book.  “Ruining that monstrosity would only be an act of mercy for the world,” he remarked dryly.  He shook his head and raised an eyebrow.  “Why on earth would you ever agree to read something so…”

         “Moronic and gross?” Brynn finished for him with a flat look.  “‘Cuz Maddie got sick of me ragging on ‘Twilight’ when I’d only ever seen the movies and never read the books.  She only agreed to let me keep doing it until after I’d read the books too.  If I wanted to, that is.”

         “And do you?”

         There wasn’t even a moment’s hesitation, just an insistent, “Yes.”

         The god snorted.  “Very well,” he sighed, “I will see that the sparkly vampires are saved along with everything else.”  He then looked Brynn over again.  The girl certainly must have taken a tumble.  Her curly blonde hair, which had been braided down her back when she’d left for school that morning, was coming undone and sticking out in odd angles with mud and rainwater: In fact, she almost looked brunette now!  Her arms and legs were caked with mud, and her face looked like it had been covered in a mud mask that she’d haphazardly wiped off.  Brynn very much looked like something from a horror story that had just crawled out of a muddy bog.  “Would you like for me to do the same with you, or are you planning on joining a colony of swamp monsters?” he teased.

         Brynn gave him another scowl.  “Ha, ha, you’re a riot, Loks.”  Then she looked herself over and shook her head with a heavy sigh.  “No, don’t worry about me,” she answered his previous question.  “This stuff needs to be washed anyway.”  The teen flapped her vest in reference. “It’s been tainted with Nina’s godawful, cotton-candy scented pew-fume.” She met Loki’s gaze again, her nose wrinkled in disgust as she added, “And, unfortunately, the same goes for me.”

         The God of Mischief nodded.  “Very well,” he sighed, moving towards her.  “I already have some of my clothes washing, but you can go ahead and add your things to it—we’ll sort them out later.  No, no kiss now!” he exclaimed.  Brynn had been going up on tip-toe to administer her usual ‘hello’ kiss to his cheek, but Loki put up a hand to hold her off.  “I have no desire to be muddied up with you.  It can wait until after you’ve cleaned up.”  With that, the man made a slight wave of his hand.  “There should be a towel waiting for you on the counter of the laundry room now,” he commented as Brynn began to make her way to the door that led to said room.  “You be sure to towel off as much mud as you can in the laundry room and wrap your hair up before going up to shower,” he instructed warningly.  “I don’t want muddy tracks leading all over the house.”

         Brynn snorted.  “Whatever you say, Mom.”

         “Hmm.  And here I thought you were going to insult me.”

         Smiling, Brynn rolled her eyes and opened the laundry room door.  She was about to go inside when she stopped and looked back over her shoulder to see that Loki had picked up her bag and was inspecting it and its contents a bit more closely.  He was distracted—excellent!  Pivoting around, the girl lunged at the tall, lanky man and, before he could react, tackled him in a big, muddy, wet, full-body hug, almost knocking him over.  She planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek.  “Mmmwah!  Loveya,bigbrother,you’rethegreatest—thanks!”  As quickly as she’d embraced him she released him and barreled back towards the door, grinning smugly.

         Recovering from the shock of the ambush, Loki whipped around with a glare.  “Brynna May Hagel!” he barked.  But Brynn had already disappeared through the door; the god could hear her giggling with triumphant glee in the laundry room on the other side.  That caused his scowl to quickly melt away into a soft smile, and he shook his head with a chuckle.  Ah, Brynn….  She was an infuriating, little Machiavellian, that one.  But she was his infuriating, little Machiavellian, and the trickster god couldn’t be happier or more proud.

         With a sigh, Loki looked himself over to assess the damage his little troublemaker had done to him.  “Well, it would appear I’ll have to magic myself clean as well now.  Thank you so very much, Princess.”  Then he caught a whiff of a strong cotton candy scent.  Nose wrinkling in disgust just as Brynn’s had, the man curled his lip and groaned, “‘Pew-fume’ indeed.”

         And that’s where it had started: Brynn—under his suggestion—had thrown her soiled garments in with his because it was simply the most sensible and convenient thing to do.  She’d promised to come and get them later and fold them herself.  Great, wonderful—no big deal, Loki hadn’t cared; they were just clothes after all and he could handle folding a few of her things once in a while just as she could in reverse.  But since she had said she would deal with them later herself, Loki had taken her at her word and left it at that.  So when the load had finished the cycle and he’d put it all in a basket and brought it back up to his room in order to put things away, the man had let Brynn know that her clothes were ready for retrieval. 

         That had been four weeks ago.  An entire month.  The clothes—a pair of high-waisted shorts, a graphic crop top, and a denim vest—were still lying in the clothes basket, waiting to be folded and put away.  And they weren’t even in his room anymore; the basket was sitting out in the hall beside his bedroom door which Brynn had to walk by in order to get to and from her own bedroom.  So it wasn’t as though she didn’t see them there and was able to forget about them.  But the clothes were still there.  The teen hadn’t even so much as pulled the vest out of it to wear it again—she just left them all there unnoticed.

         Loki had finally taken to reminding his charge about them and suggesting she put them away.  It was only a few articles after all; it would take no time at all.  And every time he had, Brynn had nodded her head and waved a dismissive hand, declaring that she would “get to it later” and that she had “something else on her mind at the moment”.  On some occasions, she had: There had been a science project that had taken both her and Loki all night to complete; then there had been the assignment for literature in which she’d had to rewrite the American Constitution in her own words; then there had been the practice PSAT tests that the school’s guidance counselor had sent home a few times because, apparently, “it was never too soon to start getting ready”.  But as many times as there had been something else to occupy her time, there had been even more moments when Brynn could have turned attention to her clothes and put them away.  After all, once again, it was only three articles of clothing.  But she hadn’t.

         Now, it was true that Loki could have taken it upon himself to fold her clothes and put them away for Brynn, or even just toss them into her room on her bed.  Again, it was only a few garments, and all of them, thankfully, were of the outerwear variety.  And, admittedly, the god had considered it.  Hel, he wouldn’t have even had to do it by hand—he could have just magicked them to reappear in their appropriate places folded/hung up and ready to go for the next time.  But the simplicity of the task wasn’t really the point.  The point was that Brynn had stated, for a fact, that she would take care of and put her clothes away herself.  She’d promised to.  And so far she wasn’t holding to it.

         While it might have seemed hypocritical for him, Loki, a literal trickster god, to make a thing about his charge not holding to her word, in truth, promises were something Loki took quite seriously.  Especially where the people he cared most about were concerned.  So the fact that Brynn, someone he indeed cared very deeply for, was not sticking to something she’d sworn to do, did not sit well with him on both a personal and moral level.  There was also the simple fact of the god finding this dismissive, lazy, irresponsible behavior of hers rather irksome and was doing his best to break her of it.  After all, he was her main parental figure now; it was his job to help her grow into a responsible, well-rounded, well-adjusted adult.

         It was because of all these participating factors that Loki finally decided it was time to teach Brynn a little lesson about responsibility and keeping her word.  It wouldn’t be anything too drastic, just something to get the message across.  And while simple communication usually did prove to be an excellent teaching tool, with some people it just didn’t have an effective enough impact.  Unfortunately, Brynn could be one of those people.  And also unfortunately (at least for Brynn) Loki was the type of teacher that, when presented with an opportunity where he could either teach a lesson via communication or in a more active way, he tended to choose the more active way.  Especially when the more active way allowed him to have a bit of fun.  After all, his title wasn’t ‘God of Mischief’ for nothing!

         “Look, I’m not saying the movie is gonna be bad,” Devon declared with all sincerity.  “All I’m saying is that these people are idiots!  I mean, seriously, this is the same universe where the original Jurassic Park happened—and we all know how well that turned out—but we still think it’s a great idea to go and make another one after everything that happened before?  “Oh, we can control the dinosaurs this time around!”  I think the first park proved that you can’t control the dinos!”

         “That and they’ve genetically engineered a totally new dinosaur that’s never existed before,” Sean added.  “Because that’s such a great idea.”

         “Exactly!” Devon exclaimed, clapping his buddy on the shoulder.  “Thank you!”

         “No problem, bud.”

         It was a balmy, summer night, and Brynn and her group of friends—Devon McCredie siblings Sean and Madilyn Asher, and Caitlyn Willis—were all gathered out by the pickup.  They had plans to attend the local theater that evening for the premiere of Jurassic World.  Being Jurassic Park fans, the group had made plans to see the movie all the way back after the first trailer had dropped.  Now it was here, and they were not about to miss it.

         Brynn smirked as she remarked, “Well, we can’t be too hard on their decision-making, can we?”  She exchanged a significant look with Maddie and Caitlyn that only teenage girls can share with each other.  “I mean, it’s giving us Chris Pratt, right?  Who can say that’s a bad thing?”

         Maddie and Caitlyn enthusiastically murmured their agreement.

         “Oh, please,” Devon snorted, rolling his eyes.  “You guys just like him ‘cuz you like how his ass looks in the trailer.”

         “Also because he’s sweet, funny, handsome, and charming,” Maddie added.

         “He wears a shirt that shows off just a little bit of chest,” Brynn continued.

         “And he’s got gorgeous blue eyes,” Caitlyn sighed.  “I love blue eyes….”

         At that statement, a funny look came over Sean’s face and he looked down at Caitlyn, whom he had an arm wrapped around.  “Y-you love blue eyes?” he stuttered rather meekly.  He looked more than a little put out by this.

         Smiling warmly and reassuringly back up at him, Caitlyn reached up and caressed his cheek.  She gazed at him adoringly.  “Not half as much as I love brown, baby,” she soothed him.

         With that, Sean smiled back before turning his face into her hand and gently kissing her palm.

         The rest of the group groaned, Maddie adding in an extra gag.

         “Ugh, get a room, guys!” Brynn sniggered.

         “I thought we agreed no PDA in the group,” Devon teased at the same time.

         “I knew it was a bad idea for my brother and one of my best friends to start dating,” Maddie lamented.  She, as opposed to the other two, seemed like she was only half-joking.  And maybe she was: Madilyn had yet to get used to the fact that her big brother and best friend since preschool were a serious item.  It was very strange, especially since Caitlyn and Sean used to bully each other all through elementary and middle school.  And, even more especially, just because—again—it was her brother and one of her best friends.

         “Shut up!” Sean and Caitlyn shot back, playfully glaring at their pals.

         Snickering, Devon looked down at his watch.  “6:30,” he informed everyone as he looked up again.  “We need to get there by at least 7:15 if we want our good seats.  I asked my cousin to try and save ‘em for as long as he can, but if we don’t get going soon…” he trailed off as everyone would know what he meant.

         All gazes suddenly turned to Brynn.

         Noticing this, the sixteen-year-old rolled her eyes in annoyance and crossed her arms defensively over her chest.  “He knows the timeline, guys,” she assured them.  “He’ll get us there on time. … He might frickin’ NASCAR drive the whole way, but he’ll get us there—so relax.” 

Loki was their designated chaperone for the movie that night.  Usually, the kids would have just gone themselves but as Devon’s car was in the shop, Sean’s new car was only big enough for two people (specifically himself and Caitlyn), and the only one of the girls who had their license yet was Maddie and she’d gotten it revoked after dinging up her car for the fourth time in a month, they were left virtually transportation-less without an adult.  That and, plus, since the prom incident, their parents seemed to have come to the conclusion that it would be better if they were chaperoned, even though the prom had been a one-time incident and, in all honesty, an adult probably wouldn’t be able to stop what had happened and prom from happening again.  So, because of that, Loki had become the default chaperone.  Of all their caretakers, he was definitely the one that was the coolest: He generally stayed out of their business and gave them their space.  And, apart from that, he was a literal Asgardian god and a master sorcerer.  So, you know, in case something like prom did go down again, he was really the best—and only—line of protection they could have.  Plus it was just really epic to have a literal god hanging around with them.  Because when people found out you had a god on your team, they just didn’t mess with you.  (Not that any of the kids ever flaunted that they hung around and were friends with a god. … Much….)

         “Well, what’s taking him so long?” Caitlyn asked of the man in question.  “I mean, god or not, he’s a guy; how long can it possibly take for him to get ready?”

         Brynn gave her friend a flat look.  “You clearly do not know Loki,” she stated.  “Seriously, if you guys think I can be bad when I get ready to go out, you are all in for a rude awakening.”

         There was the familiar sound of the front door of the Hagel farmhouse opening and closing.

         Devon, who was facing the house directly as he leaned against the side of the vehicle, lifted his gaze up the slight incline to the house.  Almost immediately, and rather violently, he averted his gaze, covering his eyes as if they’d just been burnt.  “Ohgod--myeyes!” he howled.  “My eyes!”

         The rest of the group gave him alarmed looks before turning to see what he was reacting to.  A chorus of horrified, earsplitting, inhuman screeches rang out through the otherwise quiet evening, one, in particular, quite a bit louder and more horrified sounding than the others.

         Looking utterly mortified, Brynn sprinted up the sidewalk toward the cause of their reactions.  “Loki!”  She skidded to a stop in front of the Asgardian and held her arms out as wide as she could on either side, as she would if she were trying to head an animal off from a direction she didn’t want.  Apparently, the girl thought this would work on Loki as well.  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” she wailed.

         Stopping in his tracks, the green-eyed man fixed her in a gallingly innocent stare, even going so far as to tilt his head to the side like a confused puppy.  “What do you mean?” he questioned with just as much innocence.  “I’m ready to take you all to the movie.”

         White as a sheet, except for her face, which was turning a brilliant color of reddish pink due to her embarrassment and exasperation, Brynn fixed the trickster with a heated glare.  “That’s not what I mean and you know it!” she hissed.

         Raising an eyebrow, Loki crossed his arms over his chest and released a patient sigh.  The action only caused Brynn’s ire to rise even more.  “Brynn,” he addressed her calmly, “if you want me to understand what you mean, you’re going to have to speak more clearly.”  While his face remained placid and serene, the god was smirking a mile-wide and snickering devilishly inside.  This was almost too much fun!

         Knowing full well his cool and collected demeanor did not match what was really going on inside that twisted, raven-haired head of his and becoming even more flustered by it, Brynn clenched her hands into fists.  Oh, she wanted to hit him!  She hadn’t wanted to hit him this badly since the point at the beginning of their relationship when they’d hated each other!  She could do it!  If she really wanted to, she could do it, and, boy, she really, really wanted to!  But that wouldn’t get her what she wanted.  Nothing except keeping her cool and playing along with Loki’s game—whatever the hell it was—would get her what she wanted.  And that was a tall order to deal with:  What she wanted was directly tied to what was making her want to hit him.  And knowing Loki, he was going to drag this out for as long as he could to make her suffer with her humiliation all the more.  He was sadistic like that.

         So, setting her jaw, Brynn enunciated, very slowly, through teeth clenched so tightly they might shatter, “What.  The hell.  Are.  You.  Wearing?”

         For you see, this is why Brynn was so cross with Loki that she wanted to hit him, why she was so mortified that she might keel over and die: he was wearing her clothes.  Yes, that’s right, the lanky, 6’2, 206 pounds, full-grown Asgardian God of Mischief had managed to stuff himself into clothes that were meant for a 5’5, 130 pound, teenaged girl of average build.  And it looked about as terrifyingly hideous as you could imagine. 

Brynn’s insides squirmed uncomfortably as she looked him over.  He had to have magicked this stuff in order to even get it on, but even then it all still fit him poorly: her high-waisted shorts rode nauseatingly high up on his legs and hips, so much so that the bottoms of his buttocks were exposed (not a good look for guys!); her crop top clung to him almost like it was another layer of skin and stretched across his chest so tightly that it distorted the Wonder Woman graphic so much she looked obese; and her vest… it fit so tightly across his broad shoulders that it crinkled and stuck out in a strange way at the bottom where it should have hung loose.  It all just added up to one massive nightmare.

Looking as though he had no idea what she was talking about, Loki looked down at his attire before meeting Brynn’s gaze again.  “I’m wearing clothes,” he answered simply.  That would only help to irk the teen off more.

Brynn felt a new flame of irritation flare up inside her at that answer.  Oh, he was so gonna get it!  (If she didn’t die of embarrassment first.)  “No,” she corrected, trying to keep her voice even.  “You’re wearing my clothes—there’s a big difference.”

Loki’s brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed as if he’d just heard something fishy and wasn’t sure whether he’d believed it or not.  “No,” he shook his head, “these are my clothes.”

Brynn gawped at him in bewilderment at that.  His clothes?!  What?!  Had the God of Mischief finally gone insane?!  “What are you talking about?” she scoffed incredulously.  “That’s my shirt, those are my shorts, and that is my vest!  But I don’t need to tell you this because you know that those are my clothes, so, I’ll ask again, what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

The man gave her a slightly annoyed look.  “And again, I am ready to take you all to the movie,” he responded firmly.  “And, yes, these are my clothes—you gave them to me.”

The blonde stared at him for the longest time, trying to process what he’d just said.  “Yep,” she finally murmured, wide-eyed and pale, “you’ve finally snapped there, Merlin.”

Loki’s lip curled into a snarl.  “I have not snapped,” he growled.  “I thought we left the “insanity” business behind us some time ago, Brynn.”

“Well, how the heck else am I supposed to explain this?!”

“I just did: You gave these clothes to me.”

“No, I didn’t, Loki!”

“Yes, you did, Brynn.”

“When the hell did I do that?!”

“Well, to be honest, it wasn’t so much an outright gesture as it was a quietly implied transferal.”

Once again, Brynn stared at her guardian, perplexed.  “What?”

Sighing in a longsuffering way (once again, just to piss Brynn off further), the god recounted, “A month ago you came walking through the door covered in mud, dressed in this very outfit, mind you.  At my suggestion, you put these things in the washer along with a load of my laundry.  You did so and promised me that later on when everything was finished, you would come to retrieve your clothes and put them away yourself.  You didn’t.  Even as I reminded you about them and set them out in the basket in the hallway, you still didn’t.  I naturally assumed that that meant you had no desire to keep these clothes any longer.”

It took all of Loki’s considerable willpower to not burst out into outrageous guffaws at the look on his charge’s face in reaction to this explanation.  Priceless!  If only he’d had a camera!  Her blue-gray eyes about the size of dinner plates and her jaw dropped to the sidewalk, Brynn looked quite lost for anything to say.  Which was saying something, considering she always seemed to have something to say.

“I… but… you… er… uh…” Brynn fumbled around for a response.  It was a next-to-impossible feat, she was so dumbstruck.  Finally, she managed to snag onto something: “You’re insane!”

Again that glower came back to Loki’s face.  Joking or not, getting the reaction he wanted out of Brynn or not, he did not appreciate being called “insane”.  “Crazy” was one thing—he couldn’t very well deny that allegation—but he was not “insane”.  “Brynna May,” he growled in warning.

“Loki, if I don’t want clothes anymore, I will put them in a box or bag and let you know so that we can take them to Goodwill or something,” Brynn tried to explain as calmly and rationally as she could.  “I’m not gonna give them to you!  Silently, verbally, or otherwise!”

“How was I to know that?  You did leave them in a laundry basket next to my room.”

Brynn exploded.  “YOU ASSHAT, YOU’RE NOT STUPID!!!”

“No, I’m not, but that’s redundant.”

“This entire conversation is redundant!” Brynn shrieked, hands waving wildly around.  “Loki, I don’t know what the hell kinda lesson you’re trying to teach me here, but get to the moral already, please!  I’m begging you!”

The man shook his head.  “There is no lesson, Brynn,” he assured her.  “As I’ve stated before, I’m wearing clothes that you gave to me-”

“THEY ARE GIRLS’ CLOTHES!!!”

“And I think they’re utterly adorable.”

“Yeah!  On me!  They make you look like Ken if he got dressed when he was still half-asleep and put on Barbie’s clothes by accident!”

A radiant smile beamed across Loki’s angular face.  “Why, thank you!”

“LOKI!!!”

Cringing at the volume of her screech, the God of Mischief gave his charge a disapproving look.  Brynn had a propensity for the over-dramatic, but that didn’t give her an excuse to forget her manners and yell in such a way when she was standing barely a foot in front of him.  “Brynna May Hagel,” Loki scolded, “watch your tone.  You don’t need to yell—I am standing right here.”

“Oh, believe me, I know!” Brynn huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring back at her guardian.  She ran her eyes over him and his unbelievable attire again.  “Good god, do I… By.  Odin’s.  Beard!  Didyoushaveyourlegs?!”

Again that bright and maddening grin.  “Why, yes, I did!” Loki chirruped, looking down at his long, muscular legs himself.  He pivoted around in a rather effeminate way so that Brynn could see his limbs from all sides (almost making Brynn lose her lunch when she got a full view of what his ass looked like in her shorts).  “It was an experience, let me tell you,” he remarked.  “It took up a lot of time and I wasn’t sure if I should do it, but they looked ghastly otherwise.”

“As opposed to now?” Brynn muttered, shielding her eyes.  As much as she adored her guardian—which was saying much because she absolutely loved him to pieces—it made the sixteen-year-old highly uncomfortable to see him in such a state of undress.  Or was it more of a… “dressed but very inappropriately” situation?  Yes, it was probably that—she’d never had an issue with him walking around in nothing but a pair of pants before. 

Loki suddenly looked down at his watch.  “Hmm, a quarter to seven,” he murmured.  “We’d better hurry if we want to get there in time to get your seats.”  With that, the god made to continue his previous trek down the sidewalk toward the vehicle and the rest of Brynn’s friends.  (He noticed with some pleasure that they all looked rather dumbstruck and horrified, peeking out at him from behind their hands… except for Maddie.  She wasn’t averting her eyes at all.  And she looked just a little bit too pleased and dreamy-eyed as she checked him out.  Maybe Loki hadn’t completely thought this plan through….)

Brynn suddenly braced her hands against his chest and her feet against the sidewalk, pushing back on him with all her might to make him stop.  “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!” she exclaimed.  “Back up!  Joke’s over!”  She met his brilliant green eyes with her stricken blue-gray ones and shook her head desperately.  “You are not going to town dressed like this!”

Loki looked himself over yet again.  “What’s wrong with this?”

“‘What’s wrong with this?’!” Brynn repeated incredulously.  “Loki, if these clothes fit me in the same way they fit you, you wouldn’t let me out of the house in ‘em—that’s what’s wrong!  Loki, your ass is hanging out!  Nobody wants to see that!”

“I wanna see that!” Maddie shouted from her spot by the truck.

“SHADDUPMADDIE—NOBODYASKEDYOU!!!”  Brynn hollered back, not looking away from Loki.  Clasping the front of his shirt—well, her shirt—the girl gazed up into the trickster’s face beseechingly.  “Loki, please, I’m your little sister and I love you with all my heart,” she pleaded frantically.  “And if you feel the same way about me—if you’ve ever loved me at all, Loki—please put something else on!  Please!  I’m begging you!” 

With that, Loki’s face sobered and the whole air about him grew serious.  ‘… if you’ve ever loved me at all…’ how could Brynn even question such a thing or vaguely imply that maybe he didn’t?  In fact, the very reason he was willfully wearing her clothes and making a complete imbecile of himself was proof enough that he did, in actuality, love the girl.  It also spoke to the fact of just how much he loved her.  He certainly wouldn’t have done this for Thor.  (Then again, he didn’t have to; he’d already proven his love for his brother by protecting Jane and dying on Svartalfheim—his obligation there was done as far as Loki was concerned.)  “Of course, I love you, Brynn,” he murmured.  “I love you very, very much—you know that.”

There was actually a slight gleam of tears in Brynn’s blue-gray eyes.  “Then why?” she rasped, desperate to understand.

The man sighed heavily.  “I believe you’ve already come to the conclusion, as you’ve mentioned it once.”

Brynn thought for a minute, trying to remember what she’d said.  “So this is a lesson then,” she responded after a moment.  She watched as her guardian nodded in confirmation.  “A lesson for what?”  she inquired.  She still didn’t understand why Loki had done this, why he’d allowed himself to look so hideously ridiculous and foolish, especially in front of company.  What could he possibly be trying to teach her?  What could be so drastic? 

And then it hit her.

“Are you serious?” the teen deadpanned, some of that annoyance rising back up inside her again and burning away the franticness.  “Are.  You.  Fucking. Serious?”  She was more emphatic that time around, pounding a fist hard against his chest. 

Loki’s face darkened.  “Brynna May Hagel,” he rumbled dangerously.  “Utter such vile language again, young lady, and you will find yourself spitting soap suds for the rest of the evening.  And if you hit me again you will regret it, I assure you.”

Brynn ignored him and continued on.  “That’s what this was about: me not putting away my laundry?  You almost made me break down crying in desperate humiliation for that?!”

“Actually, I never intended to make you cry,” he confessed, looking a bit guilty, “and if that is the case, I apologize.  Perhaps I pushed a bit too far.”

“Ya think?” Brynn snapped, shoving away from him and forcefully perching her fists on her hips.  She glared hotly at him.

“But the lesson wasn’t so much about you not putting away your laundry,” the god informed her, choosing for the moment to let her tone go rather than reprimand her for it.  That would only lead to an argument they didn’t have time for.  “It was more about you not putting it away after you had given me your word that you would.”  A scolding expression came onto Loki’s face as he said that.

The teen squirmed slightly under that gaze, some guilt springing up through that annoyance.  Okay, he had a point—Brynn had to admit that.  She remembered now and she had promised that she would put her clothes away, but then other stuff had happened and it had slipped her mind a few times, and… well it was laundry!  Whether it was a full basket of clothing or a pair of socks, who wanted to put away laundry?  Still, she had said that she would.  But that didn’t mean he had to go around wearing her things in front of her friends, completely intent on actually wearing them out in public just to teach her a lesson about responsibility and keeping her word!  “Ya couldn’t’ve just talked to me about it?” she growled, her face turning red again.

Loki pursed his lips in contemplation a bit, his eyes rolling skyward as if the heavens would somehow help him consider her question more thoroughly.  “I could have,” he admitted after a minute or two.  Then he looked back at the girl, smirking devilishly.  “But where would have been the fun in that?  This way I got to watch you go into a classic tizzy.”

Brynn grabbed at her head, fisting her hands in her hair as if to rip it all out.  Screwing her eyes shut she threw her head back and released a frustrated roar through clenched teeth.  She stomped her foot.  “God!  You are such an ass!” she fumed.  Honestly!  How the hell could someone be this exasperating?!  One thing was for sure: it definitely spoke to Loki’s superhuman-ness, because no human could be this irritating—it wasn’t possible.  If he wasn’t careful, the man really was going to make her pull all her hair out!

“True,” Loki conceded good-naturedly, arching an eyebrow.  “But are you going to shirk off a responsibility again?  Are you going to treat your word as if it means nothing again?”

Releasing her curly, blonde tresses, the girl let her hands fall limply to her sides and hung her head so that her hair hid her flushed cheeks.  “No…” she muttered just loudly enough for the god to hear.

“Then my plan succeeded and my being an ass was well warranted.”

“Yeah, keep tellin’ yourself that, Viking Boy.”

“Oh, I intend to.”

Brynn couldn’t help the slight smirk that curled her mouth.  She shook her head.  This man—this god… how she’d managed to deserve his presence in her life she still wasn’t completely sure—nor was she sure she really wanted it sometimes—but here he was, and she couldn’t imagine it any other way anymore.  Whether he was being stern and protective or sweet and loving or just being a total douchebag like tonight, he was there with her.  For her.  And, whether she liked or wanted it or not, Brynn wouldn’t have it any other way.  She really wouldn’t.

“Seriously though, Loks,” she said after a moment, becoming all serious business as she looked him over yet again, “can you please change into something that won’t give people heart attacks?”

Rather surprisingly, a look of utter relief came over the Asgardian’s face at this request.  “Gladly,” he sighed.  With a gleaming blur of a flash, Loki’s clothes had instantaneously changed from his hideous, stolen get-up into one that was much more pleasing and fitting for him: black slacks, a green v-neck, and a dark gray blazer.  The god shifted around, swinging his arms a bit and rolling his shoulders and neck, a look of pleasure on his face.  A soft utter of, “Thank Odin,” fell from his lips.

Striding out yet again, Loki wrapped an arm around his charge’s shoulders, turning her around and leading her back down the sidewalk toward the others.  “Your clothes are horrendously uncomfortable,” he told her.

Smirking, Brynn looped an arm around the man’s waist, matching her strides to his as best she could.  (It wasn’t as easy as it sounds, as he had very long legs.)  “Well, for one, they’re my size and are meant to fit me,” she retorted.  “They definitely weren’t designed and made with Asgardian chaos gods in mind.”

Loki chuckled as he smoothed a hand over her hair.  “No, I suppose not,” he agreed.

Brynn gazed up at him.  “I’ll put ‘em away when we get home after the movie,” she said, face sincere.  “I promise.”

Her guardian nodded.  “Of course, you will,” he replied.  “They’re back in the basket waiting for you.  And on the off chance you won’t put them away—and I’m sure that you will—I’ve charmed them to scream bloody murder at you every time you walk by the basket until you’ve dealt with them.”

Brynn raised an eyebrow.  “Doesn’t that seem a tad bit overdramatic?”

That brought on a mocking sneer from the god.  “It would seem they take after their mistress.”

The girl gasped incredulously.  Had he seriously just called her overdramatic?!  “Uh!  Pft!  Tsh!  Huh!  Ha!  Excuse you?!” she yelped, offended by the insinuation.  “I am not overdramatic!”  

“Says the girl who nearly broke down into tears over a prank not two minutes ago.”

“Did you see what you looked like in that outfit?  Hulk would have cried!” 

“Perhaps, but it still wouldn’t have been as hard as you would have.”  He leered down at her and snickered mischievously, “Crybaby.”

“Jerkface.”

“Drama queen.”

“Bite me.”

“Where would you like me to?”

Brynn’s gaze darkened and narrowed into a glower.  “I hate you,” she rumbled.

Loki gazed fondly back at her.  “I hate you too,” he returned lovingly.

The girl reached up and playfully smacked his cheek.  “I hate you more.”  A slight smile was starting to fade onto her face.

The god slipped a hand down and swatted her hip.  “But I hate you most.”

“That’s what you think, big brother.”

“That’s what I know, little sister.”

Bonus Ending: Did they make it to the movie in time?

         With a squeal of tires on pavement, the champagne gold Dodge Ram drifted gracefully into a parallel parking space outside of The Sun Theater in Dalton.  Moviegoers who were still filing into the building all stopped and stared as the doors of the truck opened and five teenagers and a tall, dark-haired, green-eyed man exited the vehicle. 

Four of the teens—the two boys and two of the girls—were white as sheets and trembling so badly they could hardly walk: One of the boys even threw himself down on the ground and began to hug and kiss it.  The man, however, was smiling in a rather self-pleased way.  The fifth teen—a blonde girl who looked much more composed than the others though she still looked abnormally pale and appeared to be shaking as well—merely turned to her friends and said a bit numbly, “See?  Tol’ja he’d get us here in time.”

Just then the wail of sirens was heard, and a second later, several police vehicles squealed around the corner and peeled down the street towards the cinema, lights flashing.

Looking slightly alarmed by this, the black-haired man quickly turned his eyes to the truck they’d all just come out of.  The truck suddenly changed colors from gold to gray.  The license plates seemed to have changed as well.  Then, the man grabbed the blonde girl by the hand and began quickly tugging her along toward the theater doors.  “Come on, kids,” he called back over his shoulder as the police drew closer, but didn’t seem to have any inclination of slowing down.  “Come on now.”

The police cruisers blew right past the theater.  They didn’t even look back.

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[generalofthenorth]

ariveth​:

         HE’S CONCERNED FOR HER, WHICH IS ENTIRELY UNEXPECTED. She’d presumed he might suggest a healer, though in recommendation only before he’d throw her the promised coin and hasten her to be on her way. Instead, the general stands, approaches with worry etched into his brow before he’d even examined the deed for authenticity. Ariveth thinks back to her inappropriate jest regarding his previous agent for this mission, his reaction to it and realises — this is simply who the general is.

        The exhaustion of the fight out of the mine, the frenzied killing, the journey back, the slow re-infiltration of the castle; it had all piled up. She’s edging on delirium. Any wounds she has are minor, at least: she’d checked, but she knows she looks horrendous at best with her hair dirty and falling out of its ties, face smeared in silver-laced dust and dark red spatters. Even so, she couldn’t care less for vanity as she watches Tullius, tall and frowning and much closer than he likely would’ve intended to come had he not been occupied by concern. She’d let her mind wander frequently to that blush barely-hidden on his tanned features, as well as how pleasure might change those same features when she returned successful. Her mind, of course, had continued onto imagining other forms of pleasure, too. Instead of a response, a smile cracks across her dry lips — wry, cocksure, but fleeting as her gaze dips to look at his mouth, crimson eyes glazing over. The adrenaline of the last few days returns with a vengeance. She’d earned her reward — and then some.

           A single stride is all it takes for Ariveth to close the gap. A hand reaches up to wrap tight around the back of his neck, feet flexed off the ground to alleviate the height difference, and when she kisses him it’s wet, harsh, and lacking all due respect.

          She surges forward using that advantage of surprise, crowding Tullius right back into the table and exploiting that very same advantage to lap into his mouth, vulgar and demanding. Her fingers remain clenched around his nape, her free hand stroking up the stubble of his weathered cheek before sliding back to his jaw, down his throat to settle upon his pulse, to ascertain her effect — to predict the consequence.

He watched her expression change and her gaze shift, but he thought it was just a sign of her exhaustion, not an indication of what was coming. And embarrassingly, Tullius doesn’t do anything when it does come. Not when she steps towards him. Not when she grabs him, surprisingly strong for someone her size. He doesn’t even do anything when she's suddenly pressing her lips to his with an intensity that he hadn't realized she was capable of in her current state.

Tullius let out a surprised grunt as he felt the table push into his back and used one hand to steady himself against the edge. And his other hand is raised and hovering uselessly in shock as she practically plundered his mouth. It felt as feral and wild as she looked, and he hated to admit that it took considerable effort not to immediately and hungrily kiss her back. Claim her mouth like she was claiming his. But he didn't. He couldn't. 

His breath hitched, and his brain struggled to catch up as her small hand stroked his cheek and settled on his throat. The touch felt gentle compared to her demanding and dominating kiss, and he tried to ignore the heat that pooled in his gut at the combination of the two. His heart hammered in his chest, the blood rushed to his head, and his entire face was red hot with a searing blush. And when his free hand instinctively moved to rest on her hip, Tullius decided he needed to get himself under control and put a stop to this. Easier said than done. A sinful thought whispered from the back of his mind and told him to let her continue. Indulge with the witty Dunmer thief. She was the one who initiated it, after all. No. He reluctantly chastised himself. She was still technically under his employ, and that would be inappropriate.

Not wanting to hurt her further should she be injured and doubting he could break the iron grip on the back of his neck, Tullius removed his hands from her hip and the table and slipped them up to cup her face. He could feel the scar on her cheek on the palm of his rough hand as he gently but firmly pulled her face away, parting her ravenous mouth from his and holding her there to hopefully keep her from making a second attempt. 

“Wh-what in Oblivion did you do that for?” He tried to sound stern, even angry, but he could barely hear his voice over his frantic heartbeat still thrumming in his ear, and with the way he was trying to steady his breathing, he doubted that it came across the way he had intended.

[bibblelevi]

Idk, something about just sucking off Levi till he gets hard while he's laying on his side, ready to go to sleep, with your head between his thighs. He's all surprised, it's adorable.

One of his thighs over your face is the perfect amount of weight to make you feel trapped, close to him, but not too much to make it uncomfortable. You can't move properly, so all you can do is keep him inside your mouth, using a lot of tongue. There's so much drool, you can't swallow it easily because he's the perfect size to fill your mouth and almost touch the back of your throat, like a pretty gag nobody else could ever have.

But you trap yourself on purpose. Even when Levi tries to move, it being to get more friction or to scape from all the stimulation of you just sucking on his dick non-stop, like he does to your nipples when he's feeling needy, you grab his pretty ass to keep him still. He can't move and you don't want to move either. You just want to stay between his legs and have him in your mouth till you get satisfied so you can turn off the bedside lamp, give him a soft kiss on his cheek and go to sleep peacefully, knowing you have an adorable man laying all dumb next to you and a pretty gag you'll totally use again when you wake up the next day.

I'm embarrassed but I can't keep lying to myself. I'd sell my neighbors and 3 fingers of someone's foot to be able to touch one of this man's elbows once 🧜

Warnings for overstimulation, deepthroating, gagging, choking, use of gags, switch Levi, crying, dumbification, oral sex, degradation, praise kink

It’s so obvious to Levi that you have an oral fixation because this stunt becomes your nightly routine: you squirming below the sheets, sinking your mouth on his cock and not letting him go.

At first, he was all cocky about it, smirking when he’d feel himself eventually harden on your tongue, faltering when he realized you wouldn’t take your mouth off him minutes after his first orgasm. Then he realized it was an overstimulation trap.

He doesn’t know what to with his hands. He either stretches them up and holds onto the head rest, knuckles turning white around the bars, tummy stretched flat and quivering from how wet and silky and warm the inside of your mouth is. Or he will weave his fingers through your hair and try to pull you off, only for your hands to shoot upwards. Your hands find his ass, nails scraping the milky skin and drawing pink lines down to his thighs.

“O-okay… you-you’ve had your fun. You’ve—hah!” An airy cry takes place of his words, thoughts spiraling as you begin a harsh suctioning, like you’re milking his cute cock but with your lips instead of your fingers.

You turn him stupid from the pleasure and overstimulation, sucking him until he’s asleep and no longer capable of getting hard. The best part is, there’s barely a mess, because you swallow every drop.

But the next time this happens? Don’t think you’re getting away with it so easily. The second you scoot down the bed, letting your jaw fall open to take his soft cock, Levi’s jabbing your lips with a silicone tip. You barely have time to process the thick, fake cock sliding down your throat, the tip knocking you far back, nearly making you wretch. The mewl is muffled, the cock gag effectively packing your mouth and in turn, muting your sounds far better than any other gag you’ve used—just like his cock.

He shows you no mercy. (Why would he? Did you show him any? No.) He locks it on the tightest notch, the leather straps digging into your cheeks and making them squish out. It’s so cute. He’ll pinch your cheeks between his fingers and guide you up, narrowed eyes meeting yours, now gleaming with submissiveness. He has successfully knocked you down a peg.

“Yeah, no,” he hums. He presses a quick peck over your gagged lips, thumb drawing along the puffy bottom one, slick from saliva. “You wanna gag yourself on a cock, do it with this one.”

This time, Levi’s the one between your thighs, strong arms wrapped around your thighs, hands gripping your waist. It’s the perfect position to keep your cunt pressed into his mouth, tip of his tongue making perfect laps over your clit and lips suctioning the sensitive bud. He lathers you up with spit and uses your arousal, drowning you in liquid heat.

Meanwhile, you’re wailing into the gag from the pleasure, every attempt to thrash dispelled by a harsh, forbidding squeeze from his fingers; every last one of your protests muffled on the cock you find yourself sucking on throughout your ordeal.

“Such a bratty fucking girl,” he gasps, using his fingers to massage your clit while he comes up for air. “How you like that cock, hm? Not as good as mine, but it’s doing the job.”

He reaches up, brushing a nipple before grabbing your chin. He wipes off a smudge of drool and smirks.

“Oh, yeah, you’re sucking on that thing hard. What a pathetic little cock slut.”

You wriggle in his hold, fists slamming against the comforter, weaving through the bedsheets. You’re writhing through your first orgasm, a scream building in your chest and eyes going wide when he only continues his movements, bringing you to a second, more intense climax.

You start to cry, fucked out of your mind.

“That it. Just take it, slut,” he whispers, a softer kiss pressed to your clit. “Accept it and take it. Good girl. Mmn.”

[softmary]

Here, have a self-insert two alien bois with a S/O who is extremely shy because I'm procrastinating again:

Yautja (Predator)

He is confused. Why are you constantly looking around? Why do you touch your hair so much? Why do you speak so softly? If you want to survive out there, you must strike fear in your enemy, not look like easy prey!

He wants you to be comfortable. Seriously, seeing you like this makes you look like you're are afraid of everything and he doesn't like that. You are in a relationship with an alien capable of killing a xenomorph, you should feel safe around him!

He wants to protect you. You are the least threatening being he's come across, it's only natural that your mate wants to keep you as close to him as possible and whenever he is unable to be around you, he leaves his hunting hound with you even if he needs it. He'll take a little longer to come back home with dinner, but he can manage.

You are very easy to read. Despite your timid nature, you are surprisingly good at unconsciously exteriorizing your emotions. He can interpret every single manerism, posture and facial expression of yours. When he notices you are unusually awkward, he steps in front of you and snarls at whoever is making his tiny human insecure.

Lots of reassurance. You are all small and harmless and he finds that very endearing. He loves to hold you, sit you on his lap and cuddle you. He could do that for hours. Whenever he is unable to do either of those things, he will gently place his forehead against yours and purr sweetly while holding your hands.

He will train you. There are no excuses! You can't just go around without knowing how to properly kick some ass. You will start out with basic self-defense and escalate little by little to more effective battle techniques. Don't worry, he knows you are different from him so he is very patient and praises you whenever you make any progress (in a very special way 👁️👁️)

Venom

Also confused. How can a simple task such as speaking be so tedious for you? And even when you do it, you are almost whispering (at least, so it seems to him) Though, he really appreciates your quiet tone of voice as he doesn't take kindly on loudness.

You are amusing. He just LOVES to tease you and get a reaction out of you, be it by making escandalous comments or straight up touching you in questionable places. Don't worry, he may be a jerk sometimes, but he knows when to stop.

Surprisingly gentle. Your skin is so warm and tender, he could eat you right up! (quite literally) But he won't. You are way too precious to become his meal. He is aware of how easely intimidated you are and while he uses this for his benefit, most of the time he is very careful with you.

Damn, he horny. Seeing you so submissive really arouses him. He might be an alien, but he still has his needs that need to be fulfilled and you are the perfect candidate. He can be a little animalistic when pleasuring you: he licks, bites and scratches.

Definetely has a size kink. No, but for real, he will take any chance to remind you just how short you are compared to him (you know, in case you forgot) This is just one of his many ways of teasing you.

P u r r i n g. I don't care what others say. If he comes from space and sometimes behaves like an animal, he purrs. Fite me. When you are more confident around him and start cuddling, he tries to hold back but ends up purring. He might get salty if you point it out or call him "cute", but deep down he likes to be praised and spoiled with love, too.