#not funny just a thought

[incorrectneverland]

Tink: -several acorns just to- ...you can put your hat on.

James: *puts hat on * Thank you miss bell.

Tink: Why do you do that?

James: It's what's polite, a gentleman must remove his hat while talking to lady-

Tink: yeah you mentioned but why do you care?

James: Gives me something to do, I find limiting myself makes scenarios more interesting.

Tink: You're lying again.

James: *smiles * You say that about everything I tell you.

Tink: Well ... you're a known liar.

James: Doesn't mean I'm incapable of being honest.

Tink: So when are you being honest?

James: It's more fun if you don't know, I will tell you you know me better than most ...then that might also be a lie. Suppose it takes one to know one hm?

Tink: I'm not a liar.

James: You went after a magic mirror to avoid telling the truth about a broken important artifact, and nobody knows but me and your little friend back home. I'm willing to bet you only told me because nobody would believe me.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[onebadnoodle]

🃏 hero villain 🦇

[daughterofchaosstuff]

done healing my inner child. next up is my inner teen. her highness demands a sword.

[yeepof]

Local PHD student at wizard school HARRASSED!! FOR SHAME!!

[clownboybebop]

if you’re ever in the position to choose between giving up and accepting defeat, and actually trying to fight the ancient unkillable god that is about to peel apart reality like a string cheese, remember this: scientifically speaking, you might as well give it a shot!

1.there were trees at the beginning of the world! there were trees so long ago that they predate bacteria that causes wood to decay. when a tree fell, it would lie there in stasis and there wasn’t any way of breaking down wood xylem on a molecular level in that way.

2. it seems obvious to say, but wood eating bacteria are literally incapable of comprehending what they’re breaking down. It’s just not information conciously available to a microorganism. they don’t know what they’re deconstructing, where it came from, bacteria have no way to even fathom the existence of a tree as a concept.

3. Regardless of the facts above, the world we live in today is a world where wood inevitably decomposes

it is worth fighting the unkillable god no matter how pointless it seems. it is worth taking the risk even though youre trying to accomplish something impossible. the reality in which you live was also once reality in which trees didn’t rot. You live in a reality that allows for existence before the possibility of destruction. you live in a reality where uncomprehending microbes break down matter that is so far beyond the scope of their comprehension that it feels comical to specify something so obvious. you live in a reality that occasionally allows unshakeable physical truths to be altered with no warning.

It is worth fighting the unkillable god because trees are so old they predate the source of their destruction, and it still did not spare them. It is worth fighting the unkillable god because bacteria rots unthinkingly, because there is room in our cosmos for destruction without comprehension on the part of the destroyer. It is worth fighting the unkillable god because now and then reality retracts the promise of immortality without fanfare, and when that happens there is no mercy for the ancient. the unmaking is not softer for the desecrators ignorance. for all things, existence is endless until the exact point where it ends.

so you might as well try to kill the unkillable god. it doesn’t seem likely, but at the beginning of the world, trees didn’t rot. so you never know! you never know

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

[kendyroy]

Seeing Logan in the TVA makes me laugh so hard for some reason? Like I know he’s lived to see technology evolve and stuff, but there’s something so funny about a guy from the 1800s standing in some kind of retro-futuristic timey wimey agency to me. Man is confused as hell.

like what da hell is a polar bear doin in arlington texas

[camilleflyingrotten]

ABANDONED CREATURE(s)

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_

_

TODAY

[dapper-lil-arts]

I have bad news. Rainbow Dash has become gay due to woke. Reblog to pray

[lestatthevamp]

[such-a-daydreamer]

And then they explode

[mellosghosts]

that one the pacifier 2005 scene but it's laura annoying logan just a few days before he fucking dies

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Dog Meshi.

[prodigal-sunlight]

I know the popular theory is that Caine’s line about struggling to keep track of who’s real and who’s an NPC is foreshadowing that one of the cast is secretly an NPC

But consider the alternative

[canisalbus]

Today's tumblr experience.