#not crippled me yet
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//I'm supposed to be at the cinema with my friend tonight to see poor things but... like I have a bad head, but Mark ruffalo... but pain, im also still in pain....
#like pain thats there#not crippled me yet#but its bad and weird enough that if its not gone tomorrow im calling the docs#because that'll be two full days with no reprieve and even with painkillers it doesnt fully go#but i will fight tooth and nail not to go to the doctors#because they will just ignore me#and blah blah blah weight#and I KNOW that weight has an effect on your body#but this is not a weight thing and never has been#and like i am so tired of trying to get them to listen to me#so i geuss now we'll just wait until something gives or explodes i geuss#also i walk the dog between 1 and three hours 5 days a week 95% of the time#that other 5% is either when my period pains put me on my back or a migraine does#anyway#gunna stop ranting now#but yeah#i dont wanna flake on my friend but also i just feel lousy
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i know these two cripples were fighting outside the door who would visit the cripple king first. āyour feet look so much like your mother's in certain lightsā. āour sister's dream. she called it "the song of maelor the missedā. aegon just wants those freaks to leave him ALONE.
#Aegon: you're my worst friend. Larys: i'm your only friend. Aegon: and yet you managed to become the worst!#Aegon: i'm a MAN i can't get pregnant. Aemond: you're trying to avoid duty again brother!#Okay actually Larys is not the worst option compared to Aegon's family#It just dawned on me now is it really only TG that has cripples???#aegon ii targaryen#aegon targaryen#aemond targaryen#larys strong#aegon x larys#aegond#hotd#house of the dragon#my post
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P...... Party rrocker in the house tonihhgt
#sorry yall shit caption im too busy being an adult now#suddenly my birthday comes around again and now the government wants me to vote and join the military (srsly i have got so much mail)#and yet i still cant drink like the 46 year old man who smokes like a freight train and grows weed in his gramamaws backyard in me would smh#us military ik you love me but please stop sending me mail i am literally crippled and feral you do not want my whiney ass#animals#cats#petblr#cat life#catblr#cat lovers#cat#my cat#cat photos#calico#calico cat#silly pet#silly cats#cat memes#pet cat#cat pics#cat pictures#cute cats#aww#lol#haha#awwpics#cute#cute animals#SOMEBODY HELP THIS CAT IS SO ANNOYING SHE SNORES SO LOUD
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a story about a flight instructor who hallucinates his dead student
#guys itās been so long hereās this sketch that I made instead of studying for a really important exam on aircraft hydraulic systems#that I have in an hour#I really want to draw regularly because I donāt have any other interests or hobbies and Iāve just been straight jorkin it and by jorkin#I mean classes and training year round no break on hard mode#anyway I wanna make tommy and ludo into like short stories regularly ig I donāt know#basically heās a plain average simple midwestern man who gets paired up with a weird eccentric goth girl but they establish a rapport#but then the Horrors happen and she dies and itās kinda sorta his fault not really though but I made it so that he feels an immeasurable#crippling guilt that keeps him up at night and at some point he starts hallucinating her idk#as for how she dies exactly I canāt decide yet#sorry guys this isnāt a nice story lol#eff ay ay please donāt come after me for legal reasons none of this reflects or represents anything itās just a silly little oc story thing#that ALSO teaches a lot of good lessons I prommy#ok bye#art#oc#flight instructor oc#aviation#uhhhhhhhhh
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Imo Jason is āirredeemableā by default because I donāt see what he needs redemption from.
#I donāt know if Iāve mentioned this before but joining this fandom made me fucking hate the word āredemptionā#no person Iāve seen who is in love with the concept knows the who what where when why or how it should work in a story#apparently it isnāt just themes and tropes anymore people donāt understand the proper use of the word āvillainā#kelseethe#also hilarious: Jason should recieve sensitivity training HR style from Bruce āIām the government and children are my croniesā wayne#if Jasons headstrong/āanswers to no oneā attitude towards vigilantism is what makes people think he's villainous#I hate to be a broken record but the baddie youāre describing is Bruce#nobody thinks heās a villain for only trusting in his own methods/self and repeatedly isolating himself#and on top of that gaslighting and hurting people around him in attempts to do what HE **thinks** is the right thing#you people always thought *him* heroic not problematic for all these traits#the only difference is Jason isnāt psychologically abusive & controlling#yet heās still the bad guy just cause he liberally kills folks in the crime business.#l'd argue goth ham war is the b*tman story to remind you of everything that makes Bruce authentically himself#Idk how to tell you that Bruce mentally compromising/crippling his son in a twisted attempt to āsave him from himselfā#is perfectly in line with slitting the same sonās throat because he couldnāt stand to see him avenge his own killer#and yk what a redemption arc could be interesting for someone like Bruce#because he rarely questions or doubts his choices esp wrt Jason. no matter how morally dubious they may be#I think it would be quite fun to witness his extremely restricted worldview be challenged/shattered he deserves that humbling experience
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no ones ever gonna understand how much i love daigo doin this stupid shit after dissolving the tojo
#snap chats#is this a gaiden spoiler. its been like five months catch up you nerds#ANYWAYYYYY NOO I LOVE HIM ....... this whole bit is like four seconds long but i love it so much#i just reminded myself i should probably make gaiden/y8 videos for daigo.. i'll make it a JP/ENG comp or somethn.. one day#not soon tho like its barely anything since he's not in those games Long At All but still. im lazy š#excuse me while i gush about daigo for twenty minutes now because hehee HE'S SO CUTE I CAN'T GET OVER IT#this is literally the middle aged equivalent of going yippee like YOU CAN TELL HE'S SO RELIEVED IT'S SO CUTE#got the energy of a student with crippling anxiety after they somehow get through giving a presentation without throwing up#AND his lil smile ......... thank you gaiden you made me wanna eat drywall with daigo's sad puppy dog eyes about kiryu#and then immediately made up for it a minute later#sorry i keep scrolling up to look at him and i love him so much. what if i threw up#i dont like using babygirl lightly but this is actually the most Babygirl frame of him ever ive decided#thats my boy .... i love my boy so much ..... he's so cute ... come so far in life congratulations king ..... ily ...#him lookin up at the sky for a minute just to breathe i know he thankin god for the fact he somehow isnt dead yet#im gonna ignore the fact all of this was for naught so i dont bash my head against a wall anyway stan daigo#im gonna be sick i love him so much#if i redraw this later shut up. i love him...#this is why i try not to look at cutscenes anymore cause when i do i feel my brain being put in a microwave and start to melt#its not my fault i love my guys so much .... ok bye i have work to do ....#and then when i finish that work i can go back to loving my guys YAAAAAY !!!!!!!
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i made some straps for my crutch!
i originally got an open cuff crutch because i was worried about my arm being too big, i wear a lot of bulky sweaters as well so i was worried it wouldnt fit over that as well. i very quickly found out how inconvenient it is to try to use that arm with it. ļæ¼i drilled a hole in both sides of the cuff a small binder ring inside, that way i can change out the straps! the two ive made so far are a crocheted one and a beaded one, of course both green :-) [smiley face emoticon with nose]
[id: four photos of dannyās right arm in their open cuff forearm crutch that has been modified to have a strap across the open part of the cuff. they are pale, wearing a gray shirt, and have two tattoos on their arm of joey jordisonās mask and the danger days spider. in the first two photos they are only visible from the shoulder to wrist. the first photo shows a thin brown corded strap with green stone beads on it, the second photo shows a green crocheted strap in a scalloped pattern. the third photo shows their arm outstretched to demonstrate the crocheted strap holding up the crutch. the fourth photo is a close up of the crutch showing the drilled hole where the binder ring is inside, it is attached to the crocheted strap. /end id]
#my pics#also please let me know if ive done anything wrong with the image ids! im not really sure how to write them yet#cripple punk#cpunk#mobility aid#forearm crutches#modified aid#modified mobility aid#me/cfs#fibromyalgia#pots#actually disabled#chronically ill#image described
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thought about sending this meme to my friend who hasnāt finished tgcf with the caption āitās because Bai Wuxiang teaches him how to cookā
#tgcf#xie lian#heaven official's blessing#tian guan ci fu#I donāt know why the quality came out so bad#image got compressed for some reason š#when he ate his momās food for the last timeā¦. that part. that part got me.#still thinking about sending the meme. havenāt done it yet. on one hand. itāll be really funny esp once she gets to book four.#on the other hand. is it a spoiler to even insinuate that thereās a reason for xie lianās bad cooking? that thereās something deeper to it?#because right now itās a āhaha thatās so funny and endearingā character trait#it isnāt a ācripples you with sorrow whenever you think about it too hardā character trait#but it will beā¦. it will be
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i just woke up in the middle of the night, started immediately like catastrophising because thatās just what my brain does. and then, not 30 seconds into it, the concept of Jay Ferin was inserted into my mind. i instantly felt better. sheās like my guardian angel <3
#kicks my feet like an anime school girl#jayyy <3 love herrr <3#ok i back to sleep now#i just thought to share that cause itās very funny to me :]#i would like to emphasize that the last part is a joke but also not because wow girly just āget down mr presidentāed me#except the bullet is the crippling feeling of impending doom and the president is me#which is crazy because i would never ever want to be the president i mean truly FUCK that but whatever#lmao okay but nice to know my brain still loves my pirates :]#iāve been very very focused only on reading Worm and a few other books that i havenāt even watched Judgement yet :(#which isnāt a bad thing cause i loveeee worm sooo much and thereās nothing saying i have to watch the episode immediately upon its upload#but still man idk i think jays losing steam with keeping my anxiety back#sheās only one girl </3#a very lovely girl that i adore! but only one nontheless#though iām sure there are people on here that would disagree hehehe#ok cal go to sleep now#baiiiii everyone :3#see you all tomorrow where i will have a very rough school day and then watch jrwi and everything will be sunshine and rainbows again#late night rambles are done for now :]#over the hills
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about two weeks ago i started cutting back Significantly on the amount of amphetamines and caffeine i consume because i'd been (understandably) using them to self-medicate the lupus fog for ages, so just like. using them for things way separate from my normal ADHD. now that the lupus is being treated i actually have the capacity to make more long-term-planning choices about what i eat and what drugs i do.
but then over the past two or three days i started feeling really agitated and got super anxious about it bc i was like "i.... have not been abusing stimulants badly enough to still have significant withdrawal symptoms now. what gives"
anyway turns out it wasn't withdrawal. i took a little walk and bussed over to the grocery store for a couple items and said good morning to several neighbors and now i feel literally fine. no more agitation or anxiety or desire to wake all my partners up to give me attention. as in i'm actually regaining enough physical function that i HAVE to move my body a little bit or i go crazy.
i have been bedridden miserable sleepykat for well over a year now. can't believe i now HAVE to TAKE WALKS to FEEL BETTER. this is AMAZING.
#the lupus meds haven't had a chance to work significantly yet either like#my malar rash and general aches and inflammation are still noticeable. i still have to take pain meds like clockwork#but my ENERGY LEVELS. THEY'RE RETURNING#I THINK I COULD GO BACK TO SWIMMING REGULARLY SOON....#autoimmune tag#adhd tag#i'm not quitting amphetamines and caffeine entirely bc i still have crippling ADHD. but i'm trying to cut back enough to#stay awake without 'em. you feel me#drugs ig
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this entire year has been flop after flop why am i losing so bad your honor i am literally just some guy
#im yapping u can move on if u dont wanna hear my life story#first i get nuked by stomach pains when i go to visit my friends#something that had been ongoing for years but#my best friend convinces me to see a doctor that year#my condition deteriorates no matter what meds they put me on#i finally get a more invasive exam that shows my intestines were inflamed#i get put on fucking steroids that fuck me up physically and emotionally#i go through multiple med school exams after spending months in crippling pain#pain so bad id be bedridden for hours#got 6 weeks of migraines near daily#sometimes multiple in a day#stressed out of my mind by the time my finals came around to the point that i could no longer bring myself to care#bc i was sure id fail no matter how hard i studied#visit my friends again bc somehow its already winter again#am a nervous wreck all the time and retreat into my phone#but also hate myself for not spending what little time i had fully present#constantly worn out and exhausted bc my meds are barely working#and id found out i was allergic to a lot of things so i was cutting a lot of things out of my diet#lmfao it was so bad my weight still hasnt recovered but yeah i come back i start 3rd year#the toll the last year had taken on my mental health finally registers#i become too depressed to study for my hardest module yet#UGH THATS SO CRINGE JUST SIT DOWN AND STUDY??#but nothing was sticking on god#anyway im sure ive failed#and la salud mental no es bien or soemthing idk i havent taken spanish in 3 years#anyway deep sigh i just stay losing#i cant believe im in like four fucking research projects and classes and trying to work on myself this shit sucks balls#and clinical rotations...#lord just strike me down
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btw please be patient w. me
im in a neck brace for a severe cervical sprain that requires rehab starting soon... with a gazillion assignments and commissions
and i have election anxiety, i just want jd vance to combust
do u want a good mood??????????
stream gpt by stayc!
also this might be vi's next blog pinned song .
youtube
ur replies and starters? by monday!
have a good weekend!
#/ pls... the stayc track is so good. its gold!#/ i have great insurance and yet i have to beat the pain. gurl i hate it here.#/ what do you mean i get rehab a two months out from my injury that's crippled me FUCK YOU!!!!!!#/ im mad. whatever.
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I hate dealing with anxiety and anger issues
One second I'd be worried and then I get angry because anxiety makes me impatient and usually I'm often calm and patient but anxiety makes look like I'm the opposite and it's frightening to just be patient when I'm anxious-
Then it's a mix of embarrassment and anxiety because I make myself a fool...
#ashyrants#just dealing with anxiety#have to calm myself but i don't have patience when im impatient so i cant controll myself and that's why i take meds and#feeling my body tired and i cant think bc meds works#yet i don't feel anything after awhile with meds.nn#they also wreck my stomach if i take them too mucj#so sometimes i just go offline to just try to calm myself#truly its frightening to see myself as something im not with anxiety...#i have also insomnia caused by anxiety any vice versa...#not the best when my brain is also think other stuff#ye#idk why im not exploding yet and im still calm and chill??#yet i have crippling anxiety inside of me
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Save me dating sims....save me.....no i dont want to fucking date.......!!!!.... i dont want to go on dates or kiss or shit......i only want dating sims........ this is how im celebrating one week sober btw watch out anime boys on my computer.
#the way i dont even like men and yet the fantasy of liking one and being liked by one is kinda cool#like yeah i can totally be a dsim mc and flirt with a picture of a man thats so cool#i have so many fictional or famous men i like to imagine myself with#with the full knowledge id be sick of them as much as theyd be sick of me#im not even sure if im into anyone at this point#but i have more important issues than this lol for example my bills my uni my job and crippling depression#gender and sexuality can wait lol
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ALSOOOOOOO i Finally got to ride a skateboard at the skatepark with bf n friends for the first time ever yesterday and i feel so ššššššÆšÆšÆ i managed to be able to balance and push around and stop without falling and it was fun tbh!! i can see getting muscle memory and improvement by doing it consistently š¤ i just hope this aint too short of a phase for everyone so i can hopefully get me own board soon š
#i kno i said i had to take it easy but it was the 4th i had to go out n live a little shhhhh#i think i skate goofy but it might be bc im left handed so its just How Its Gunna Be lmfao hopefully i'll see#theyve been starting to go there recently and a few ppl are thinking abt getting more boards and skates and ofc i Gotta get one#its practically required of me to get one AHA#being able to use my book smarts research abt footing and pushing with the right foot/ stopping without a tragedy was rlly cool#i havent fell yet but im dreading it bc that shit will be inevitable lolol its just a matter of when#it definitely takes confidence and intent and Brother i am but a teacup chihuahua#BUT that is the beauty of progress and improvement and courage#even if its just a couple months fad thing for them it would still be nice to at least get the experience#and get a better idea of what the hell my Entire story is about lmfao#i hate that it took me this long but its what i gotta do better late than never#i think i aint got crippling anxiety for everything and then i realize i cant do like 85% of things#i want to do in life AHAaa#its just one of them things i Gotta have someone do it with me so this opportunity fell into my lap and im ESTATIC#edit looked it up again and i DO NOT skate goofy i skate regualr HELL YEAH
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canāt believe they didnāt have Yoshiki connect his experience with being possessed to that one guy who broke into the school grounds and killed himself.
#I also doubt heās going to connect it for the old man he also just watched die#Idk I just feel like we missed a window of opportunity#Because itād seem insincere for him to only make the connection now right? Like it feels like a lot of time has passed even#if itās only been 2 days. Itās going to be coming a whole volume later. The audiences sense of time is skewed#And like the diner scene is so tonally jarring? The slapstick faces and casual air to everything#And I guess itās supposed to be scary but it literally made me laugh so hard seeing the ghost under the table#And the ghost going āYOOOOOOā also sent me#āI wonāt treat death lightly anymoreā#āHuh? Someone died? When did that happen? Anyway I have to study for my math testā#Iām not saying I want Yoshiki to be crippled emotionally every time something bad happens#But just like acknowledging the tragedy of an innocent person being forced to do something like that and offering empathy?#Because Yoshiki couldāve suffered the exact same fate. He only didnāt because he aligned himself with āHikaruā#the summer hikaru died#hikaru ga shinda natsu#hgsn#hgsn spoilers#idk youāre free to disagree with this. Emotional scenes are just what I like and āspooky scary ghostsā arenāt#So obviously Iād prefer an emotional scene over yet another ghost trying to tickle Yoshiki#My hgsn shit
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