#not Batman

[haveihitanerve]

Gotham fucking loves Brucie Wayne

Some nice Brucie Wayne headcanons for you all

Hes an idiot and a dork but he makes social events interesting because who else would fall into the chocolate fountain?

At any social event where kids are invited as well he can most definitely be found with the kids, talking to them like they are adults

He never treats anyone as inferior unless they're dicks

He once punched riddler in the face because he interrupted a girls birthday party

He has an entire fashion line that is dedicated to giving people actually comfortable practical clothes

Hes an absolute unit in bed. For both men and women. (either top or bottom)

He once held a man upside down by his ankles and shook him until everything had fallen out of his pockets because he had used to be a bully and was now a dick

Can and will walk teenagers home if its late at night. 

Always tips very generously

He was once in line at a batburger and there was a karen yelling at the poor 16 year old cashier and he walked to the front and just started sticking 100 dollar bills into the tip jar with the nastiest smile aimed at the karen. ‘The more you yell the more i tip.’ (the cashier was, coincidently stephanie brown, and she high fived him)

He has a social media but never uses it unless its to draw awareness to a certain cause or to show off his children. 

He also posts beautiful pictures of gotham, or of mundane everyday things, showcasing the beauty in life

(Is canonically a feminist)

Will protect waiters/servers/janitors from creeps or gotham elite who think theyre better than them

He stopped adopting kids but still pays for as many college tuitions as he can

Funded a city wide disability infrastructure plan so people with wheelchairs could go places too

He once rocked three guys with guns’s shit because they were attempting to molest these little boys

Punched a teacher in the face for making a student cry

Will at any time drop everything the second one of his kids asks him to

There is an entire instagram account dedicated to pictures of him helping old people cross the street

Once a month he visits inmates at the prison and offers them jobs

Genuinely cares for his workers and buys them houses and cars if they need it

Literally created gothams public transportation system and made sure it was free

Teamed up with poison ivy to make public gardens for everyone to enjoy

Funds clean energy research

Any celebrity fan mail he receives he answers personally

One time a little girl asked him to come to her birthday party and he did and brought presents

Taught an entire school basic self defense

Brucie Wayne may be an idiotic little shit but he is the Prince of Gotham and Gothamites would lay down their lives for him more willingly than they would for Batman.

[reporternox]

Sorry it's not my usual content

[rosiethorns88]

Dropping the latest Sketch-a-Wish, voted on by my lovely Patreon members for December!

An enchanting scene from Belladonna by Adalyn Grace, featuring Signa and Death (with a bit of his masquerade mask peeking through) watching the bridge on the shore. (or maybe not watching…)

I've had this series pre-ordered and in my hostage pile since the beginning because I KNEW I would love it, but I didn't want to hang off that dreaded cliff 😭. I originally thought it to be a duology, but then Wisteria was announced and I thought I could hang on longer. 🫠

Alas! My Patreon members pushed it up my TBR with this request and I devoured it! I knew it I knew it I knew it! I'm making my way through Foxglove now, and I'm eating this up like a dark raspberry cake on a gothic spoon.

[business-as-usual-bats]

I am playing a DND character- a barbarian Dragonborn searching for their family as their village had been violently and suddenly burned to the ground.

This Dragonborn is actually 3 kobolds stacked on top of each other. These kobolds are triplets and the equivalent of 10 year old children. The one on top, the head of the group, isn't very good at speaking common, so everyone thinks this is just the stereotype of the dumb barbarian character. All their weird behavior is blamed on lack of intelligence. (Such as taking a bite of a turkey leg and dropping the rest down the collar of their clothes for later)

The DM knows, the other players do not. I've been doing the weirdest stuff and my guy even uses "we" and "us" like they're Venom or something. No one has even thought to do a check or suspects anything. Let me know if y'all want updates.

[whipbogard]

"I know you're treating Harvey Dent at the behest of Oswald Cobblepot. Harvey is my friend and if you believe he has a chance at rehabilitation, I want it to be in a loving and supportive environment. Oswald Cobblepot does not provide that. I want you to transfer care over to me." "...Just give me Harvey..." - Bruce Thomas Wayne; Batman: The Audio Adventures

...loving and supportive environment...

...loving and supportive environment...

...loving and supportive environment...

...loving and supportive environment...

...loving and supportive environment...

I'm

[bonesbuckleup]

I don't want Batman to appear in My Adventures With Superman.

I do, however, think it would be really funny if they let Bruce Wayne wander through a couple of scenes in exactly one (1) episode.

[knight-in-baggy-sweatpants]

not a single ken sato/gigantron fic anywhere to be found. i am disappointed in you people. i thought this was supposed to be the monsterfucker website.

[the-witchhunter]

Why does Batman have all the best ships? He just has such an interesting dynamic with so many people

Clark, Harvey, Selina, honestly half the OG Justice League

I just want to read cute slowburn fanfics between him and so many people

[evilhorse]

I’m not Batman.

(Wonder Woman Volume 6 #12)

[ev-arrested]

Ford sketch fo today

[moistotaltrashmammal]

do yall think L pays taxes

[haveihitanerve]

A list of who and why Bruce has seduced/slept with over the years with some reasons, in no particular order created and updated by Dick Grayson, Alfred Pennyworth, Barbara Gordon, and after his revival Jason Todd, and added to religiously by Tim Drake who adds them as he remembers them or finds old pictures-

Wanted intel on why the mayor was being secretive, turned out he literally was just a really nervous, antisocial dude and bruce fucking having sex with him actually helped

Lex Luthor

The governor of metropolis

Went to his knees for a mob boss because he learned someone having an orgasm is more likely to answer questions honestly than someone who is afraid/hurt

Brad Pitt just because Babs bet him he couldn't

Just to get it out of the way-

Clark Kent

Oliver Queen

Barry 

Diana- though jason remains firm in his belief it never happened and bruce only wishes it did

Martian Manhunter

Dinah

Aquaman

Hal jordan

Hawkman

Zatanna

Elongated man

Booster gold

Kent nelson

Keep in mind all this as bruce wayne not batman

Also half his rogues but we aren't listing all of them here thats too long

A random bus boy because he felt like it

The pentagon 

The presidents bodyguard because selina told him something he wanted to test out- what was never revealed, nor why he didn't test it with her

Ryan reynolds

Jim gordon

At least four separate lanterns to “discern if they are a threat”

About six of the different versions of batman in different lands to “experience the culture”

Almost every member in the court of owls- unknowingly, though he claims his reasoning was to discover them

Two other amazonians Diana introduced him to in order to “properly learn their fighting techniques”

The league of assassins people. 

Ra’s Al Ghul.

Venom, in alien form

Thats all i have for you folks for now *tipping my hat* hope it offered you some enjoyment.

[reporternox]

Miku beam or smthn

[thoughtsaboutbats]

Thought: the Justice League using the names clark and kal-el (or just kal?) interchangeably for Superman. He is Clark Kent. That’s the name he was raised with. But he is also Kal-el, one of the last children of Krypton. And otherwise the only people who would call him Kal-el are his cousin, dead space dad and enemies like Zod. I just think he deserves to have both his names used by his friends/coworkers

[business-as-usual-bats]

"Give Elon Musk the benefit of the doubt-"

Except here's the thing- I did.

Because I heard about it before I saw it. I never particularly liked Musk, but I moreso felt fairly ambivalent toward him. I certainly did not picture him as a Nazi.

When I first heard about the Nazi salute I was surprised. And when that person told me, "Oh, but they're saying it was unintentional, just him being awkward-"

I believed that. I believed it was most likely a mistake, and people were exaggerating because so many are upset and panicked.

And then I saw the video.

Immediately it was so much worse than I had imagined. I was shocked. Everything about the video to his body language to his facial expression. How he did it twice. It was so obviously intentional and undeniable. And even then I compared it to multiple other videos of Nazis doing the salute, including modern-day Nazis. It's identical.

He didn't even deny it immediately afterward???

Not even a simple, "Ha, obviously that's not what I meant-" He avoided the question and laughed it off altogether, to imply MAYBE it wasn't on purpose. And yet you can't help but notice he still didn't deny it.

And the arguments defending him are INSANE. They capture pictures of other politicians mid-wave, mid-gesture and say, "See??? See??? They've all done it!"

No. They haven't. Not like that. Not a salute like that. Not even close to being so intentional and obvious.

Or they go, "It was him throwing his heart out to the crowd-"

No. There's multiple videos of him doing that during other speeches of his, and it's nowhere near this Nazi salute. Palms turned upward, or using both arms, etc, etc. It's not as if he's not used to giving speeches, as if he has not been coached and had training on what to do or not to do when public speaking.

"Noooo it's the Roman Salute!"

The Nazi Salute is based off the Roman Salute specifically (the arm is just dipped slightly lower-) AND EITHER WAY THEY'RE BOTH CONSIDERED HATE SYMBOLS??

The cognitive dissonance of people trying and trying and trying to excuse him. And to be clear- I would love if there was a good excuse! I don't want him to have thrown up a Nazi salute on live national television!

But he did. I cannot deny my own eyes. No matter what I am told, I know what I see as clear as day.

I'm not even saying he's a Nazi, I'm not claiming to know what his beliefs are or why he did a Nazi salute on Live television. Hell, maybe he did it as a dare, or a challenge to himself to see what he can get away with, but it doesn't really matter why.

What I know:

1. For whatever reason, Elon Musk intentionally did the Nazi Salute on Live television.

2. He did not immediately deny doing so or apologize.

3. Because of this, today's Nazis are praising him for it. They are saying "We're back!" And "This is our time!" And various celebratory phrases.

4. Even if you argue this was unintentional (even though I can tell by his body language it was) the damage has been done. Nazis are rallying behind him, encouraged, excited. This is going to have consequences.

Nazis have already been parading around my city. Now they're going to be bolder. The damage has been done.

TLDR: I was fully prepared to believe Elon doing the Nazi salute was an awkward mistake but one look at the video and I cannot fool myself into believing otherwise. And now we have to pay the price for his stupid actions.