#normal tuesday early april

[flowercrowngods]

im sorry you're going through this 🫂 so am i. but here's a bunch of dandelions from my driveway and some puppies and fish from petland and some plants from lowes! 💙

i love you 🫂🤍

[aly4khq]

✰⋆⁺₊⋆ - i always win. - ⋆⁺₊⋆✰

- xᴀᴠɪᴇʀ -

----------------------------------------------

warnings!: eating out, overstim

today was you and xavier's day off. the wanderer activity lately has been very low compared to a few months ago, signifying that it's that time of year where you guys can take a little break once in a while.

in the fresh morning of april, a lovely tuesday, the sun shone through your blinds blinding you as your eyes opened. turning to the other side to wrap your legs around xavier, they plopped onto nothing. in concern, your eyes sprung open, you hands lifting your body up.

he was gone. but where? turning back around slowly, still infected by sleep, the light from your phone presented '8:15'. now in your how many years you've know xavier, he never wakes up this early unless it's forced (by you) or he has a very early mission do to at the base. stretching as you moaned from the feeling of the heat, your ear picked up the noise of the door opening.

there he was, in nothing but his boxers walking around the house as he sweats from a possible workout. smiling, you sleepily waved at him, too tired to be speaking. chuckling in return, he ruffled your hair before pecking your neck softly. moving your neck due to the tickly sensation, a small whine escaped your mouth.

"..why are you awake so early..?" your voice was tougher than normal, a slight rasp involved too. he tried to drag you out of bed properly but you resisted. he sighed.

"you know. it's actually not that early. i'd say 6 is early."

shaking your head no, you tried to pull him back into bed. your eve wrapping around his arm as you used your horrible morning strength to get him down. he watched you, just admiring you before you gave up.

"come on. let's shower together." he won the fight, grasping your hands in his as he kissed them, running around and kneeling down. he looked back, silently telling you to get on his back.

slowly and steadily, you shifted your body to his back, holding onto his neck your legs clinging onto his waist. he slowly rose to his feet, holding the bottom of your thighs to secure you tightly. walking to the shower, he tried to to wake you up more after hearing your cute little snores.

"hey hey hey! no more sleeping." you practically scoffed at his words, rising your head and biting the back of his neck.

"coming from you...master...sleepyhead..." a yawn separated most of your sentence even though he understood it all.

after making it to the bathroom, he placed you onto the toilet, making sure that you were leaning on the wall so you didn't fall. your tired eyes slowly tracked his steps.

putting the water on...grabbing a few bubble maker bottles...making sure it was warm...looked at you..

"come on darling. bath time."

holding your hands out to be carried, he used that to take your his shirt off leaving you only in your underwear. the soft black lace absorbing his light heart. you stretched as the morning sun started to wake you under before a sharp feeling came from your hip.

your eyes shot down to stare at xavier's long fingers snapping the side of your underwear against your skin before going onto his knees. his hand rushing up your thighs gently, caressing the soft skin.

"...xav...what r you doing.." your hands rested on his shoulders, his hypnotising baby blues trapping yours. he had his cheeky face on. his hand slowly pulling your underwear down. his fingers patting at the wetness of your pussy.

"so wet..this early baby?" he teased,biting your thighs as your head flew back, your hand covering your eyes. a slight giggle running out of you.

"for you of course. you can't be so hot and not expect me to- OH! my gosh-"

you gasped, instantly grasping at his hair. the sensation of his tongue fighting with your flaps, sucking harshly of the flesh as he pulled you closer by your thighs.

you whimpered, crying out as he continued to eat your out, harshly yet so deep you couldn't even breathe before he was back at it again. the digits of his fingers in you increasing by the minute. your legs clenching around his head as he sucked harder, his normally soft persian blue eyes now stern and dull.

"don't...move." he growled into your pussy, making sure you couldn't move as he went faster and faster.

" wait!- wait, baby please- xavier! i can't!!-"

you squealed trying to catch a break, you weren't prepared for this. your legs trembled violently around his head, your head nearly banging against the bathroom wall behind you by the force of his tongue.

"xavier i'm gonna-" the cool in your stomach was intense but he didn't slow down whatsoever, you squirmed and begged in his mercy. but he didn't stop. he wanted to see you squirm. he wanted to see you struggle to take the pleasure he was giving you.

suddenly, his face was coated in your liquids, and he didn't waste a single drop, if he wasn't always pussy drunk than this would be a different type of hungry.

after taking all of your results off his face, he went back to your core, desperately looking for more. taking every ounce of you into his mouth.

"okay! okay! we get it...we get it..." you huffed.

he picked you up, slowly placing you in the tub before situations himself right behind you making sure that your were stable.

"your pussy is such a delicious dinner, you know?" he whispered in your ear as you bit his hand softly.

"stop it..you're so cringe eww- ow!"

he pinched your side as you bit hi harder. soon enough, water was everywhere and you were scrapping inside the bathtub. slowly you gave up as he started tickling.

"OKAY! you win!-"

"see? i always win."

----------------------------------------------

do not steal my work even tho they are trash!

date made: 21-25/4/24

[anim-ttrpgs]

Some History of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy

Brandon and I have played a lot of TTRPGs, from nearly every edition of Dungeons & Dragons to half-finished playtests of things you’ve never heard of. Our history with TTRPGs is a love story, but one pockmarked with frustration. We found ourselves enjoying D&D 3.5’s vast character creation options, but wishing it focused more on  grounded characters and historically informed combat; being drawn in by Call of Cthulhu’s horror and existential dread, but disappointed in its investigation mechanics for actually getting the investigators to those moments of horrifying revelation; being intrigued by Monster of the Week’s juxtaposition of both normal and supernatural PCs (for horror and/or comedy), but finding its lack of character options and reliance on genre tropes a hindrance; being unable to find anything that would be good for a S.T.A.L.K.E.R. inspired TTRPG campaign. We eventually found the OSR movement and AD&D1e and 2e to be far closer to what we wanted on the medieval fantasy front, but we still had nothing on the modern horror or urban fantasy front, and Shadowrun is… Shadowrun.

So, with around 20 years of TTRPG experience between us, we set out to make the game we wanted a reality.

The story of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy’s creation really starts in late 2021, when Brandon asked me to help playtest a very early rough draft of an investigative horror game he thought up. Living isolated, impoverished, and unable to find work in England at the time, I readily agreed. Noticing that the game didn’t have a combat system and desperate to set my mind to something constructive in between tedious job applications, I offered to write a combat system for it. I soon had to use the last of my money to move back home to Louisiana where I eventually did find work despite a variety of health issues, and continued to work on Eureka as a system for our personal use.

As 2023 drew near, it became clear that my current job wasn’t going to be a permanent career, and I needed a fall back plan. Work towards making Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy a professional release began in earnest, with Brandon and I founding A.N.I.M. a few months later. It was initially set to go to Kickstarter in April of 2023, then May, then June, but each time we realized it just wasn’t ready. No one had ever heard of us, and we wanted to break into an industry and customer base increasingly financially hostile to any TTRPG that wasn’t D&D5e compatible. We needed to build an audience, and build a greater appreciation for independent and small-budget TTRPGs within the community at large.

Thanks to some assistance from one of the team members from Tuesday Knight Games (makers of Motherhship), the first beta copies went public in September of 2023 to a splash of instant (relative) success, and the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club was founded on Discord two months later, a community dedicated to buying, playing, and analyzing less well-known TTRPGs - which includes almost everything except Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition.

Ash became friends with us through the book club, and after offering an increasing amount of assistance, joined the team proper in January of 2024, adding much needed copy-editing skills as well as another 15 years cumulative TTRPG experience.

The Kickstarter campaign for Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy launched on April 10th, 2024, was fully funded within 3 hours, and by the end of the campaign had reached a total of $15,455, 486% of the goal. That is where we are at now, working every day to put the finishing touches on the game and complete the stretch goals to the best of our ability before our tentative deadline of January 2025.

This is a far more ambitious project than a super-small team like ours should have attempted for our debut game, but with a mix of talent, luck, skill, and a whole lot of help, we have somehow managed to pull it off. We think the resulting game is a deep, robust, professional-quality TTRPG that provides a one-stop shop and extensive toolbox for any investigative or mystery game you’d like to run. A dark and moody noir, a classical British whodunnit, the lighthearted sleuthing hijinks of Scooby-Doo, Eureka does it all.  (You can also get the latest PDF for FREE for a limited time by joining the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club!)

Elegantly designed and thoroughly playtested, Eureka represents the culmination of three years of near-daily work from our team, as well as a lot of our own money. If you’re just now reading this and learning about Eureka for the first time, you missed the crowdfunding window unfortunately, but our Kickstarter page is still the best place to learn more about what Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy actually is, as that is where we have all the fancy art assets, the animated trailer, links to video reviews by podcasts and youtubers, and where we post regular updates on the status of our progress finishing the game and getting it ready for final release.

Beta Copies through the Patreon

If you want more than just status updates, going forward you can download regularly updated playable beta versions of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy and it’s adventure modules by subscribing to our Patreon at the $5 tier or higher. Subscribing to our patreon also grants you access to our patreon discord server where you can talk to us directly and offer valuable feedback on our progress and projects.

The A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club

If you would like to meet the A.N.I.M. team and even have a chance to play Eureka with us, you can join the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club discord server. It’s also just a great place to talk and discuss TTRPGs, so there is no schedule obligation, but the main purpose of it is to nominate, vote on, then read, discuss, and play different indie TTRPGs. We put playgroups together based on scheduling compatibility, so it’s all extremely flexible. This is a free discord server, separate from our patreon exclusive one. https://discord.gg/7jdP8FBPes

Other Stuff

We also have a ko-fi and merchandise if you just wanna give us more money for any reason.

[clove-pinks]

Inspired by @radiojamming sharing their photographs of Franklin Expedition signatures from the ships' muster books, I went through the digitised Le Vesconte Family Archives, held in the Provincial Archives of Newfoundland and Labrador, and grabbed screen shots of Henry T.D. Le Vesconte's signatures from assorted letters.

While none of them quite match the amount of swirls and flourishes that Le Vesconte used for his Very Special Muster Book Signature, I think it’s fascinating to see how his signature can vary over the years! It's also an open question of what, exactly, he is signing before his surname. Le Vesconte descendent William Wills partially transcribed a few letters, and he believed that his great-granduncle signed his name "T.D. Le Vesconte."

Personally, I think he's squeezing in an "HTD," which is the monogram on his wax seal that can be seen on quite a few of these scanned letters. (The H is unlike how he would write that letter normally, but I think he's trying to interweave it with the TD.)

From a letter to his father dated February 1, 1843—a typical cross-writing disaster. Did he only wrote "D" before "Le Vesconte"? Dundy truthers rejoice!

Your affectionate Son

[squiggle initials] Le Vesconte

From a letter to his father dated Bombay/HM Brig Clio Tuesday July 18 1843. You can see how much he loves a dramatic flourish with the T in Le Vesconte, and a loop or swirl on the final E.

Letter to his father dated [HMS] Calliope Rio Janeiro [sic] January 20 1839. It's a huge cross-written missive that just goes on and on and on; I think he forgot how to sign his own name at the end of this ordeal.

Letter to his father dated Clio off Nankin Aug. 15 1843. Noteworthy as he appears to sign his name "HTDLeV" at the margin of the page, after an abbreviated "Your affec. Son."

Finally, a letter addressed to his mother in this collection, dated HMS Erebus Woolwich April 16 1845. Very long cross on the T, and a flourish from the terminal E. It's signatures like this one that make me think he's signing all three of his first initials.

From a letter to his father, dated HMS Erebus May 2 1845. There is an HTD in there, right?? Anybody with me on this one??

From a letter to his mother dated May 15 Greenhithe [1845], with a short message for his older sister Rose at the end. A RARE "Henry"!! When he doesn't have a Le Vesconte to embellish, the Y in Henry will suffice.

Baby (23-year-old) Henry Le Vesconte's signature in a letter to father dated HMS Excellent Portsmouth Harbour Dec. 24 1836. I have transcribed this one, it's a great letter all around.

Your affec. Son HTDLeV. [?]

From a letter to his father dated Portsmouth October 17th 1844.

At the post image limit, I will close with "brother Henry" from a late 1844/early 1845 letter to his older sister Rose. He's obviously closer to her than to his other siblings (who may not have had much time to get to know him, since he was only 15 years old when he left home for good as a first class volunteer). Here's a rough transcription of this letter!

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in: April 22, 2024 🎀

Monday was okay. Monday was good. Monday was busy and I ended the day so so so tired. And I'm still stressed financially at the moment. But that's okay! Life always works out the way it should!

🩷 What I Accomplished:

made it to my job interview for the 2nd job a little early and did a good job ( I won't hear back for a while tho cause of the timing of interviews, finals, etc)

did the 11 minute Wake Up Yoga by Yoga with Adriene

did the 16-minute Yoga for Flexibility by Yoga with Adriene

got +12k steps (have no idea how many but I hit 10k by 630pm and I didn't leave work until 10pm)

worked a ~7hour shift

did my night time skincare routine after work

did my morning gratitude journaling

💞 Good Things That Happened:

my friend at work is going to help me purchase my plane ticket for work this summer and I could cry, it's so kind of her and I'm so grateful I have a friend like her <3

did good in my job interview!

accomplished my morning routine + woke up at a decent time

made it to my chemistry lecture + actually paid attention and took notes

talked to my dad on the phone a little bit

kept up with how abnormally busy it was at work and got complimented by my supervisors

my request for time off for a day in May got approved

tried new makeup that looked good (sephora brow gel and rare beauty Mascara for the win!)

💗 Stuff For Tuesday:

refocus on academics + study chemistry after class for the upcoming exam

start studying Spanish again (I have an italki lesson in 1 week)

prepare for nutrition coaching that's on Wednesday

prep for module quiz for psyc class

complete morning and night journaling

do morning and night skincare

order more waters for the week (essentia + 40pk of normal waters, the city tap water is absolutely disgusting in my town)

zoom call with the boyfriend

try to get 8k to 10k steps again!

I am going to make Tuesday a good day. I am going to make the most of every day and see the positives as much as I can. I am so tired right now, but I'm going to have a good day regardless.

til next time lovelies 🩷

💕 Song of The Day: Lion by (G)-Idle

This song has been making me feel some sort of way lately, I'm definitely a huge huge stan of (G)-Idle (and our girl Soojin, ofc <3)

[qzawhateverilike]

Criminal minds Fic

TW: suicide thoughts.

Just a rough draft for a fic that's been running in my head for a bit. May post this to Ao3 eventually. Who knows. Anyways, enjoy.

It’s Tuesday night, they have the next couple of days off after a big case. He plans to jump. Derek asks if he needs a ride home, Reid says no. Asks that if anything ever happened to him, that Derek takes care of his fish. Morgan agrees to, asks what’s bringing this on/up, Reid says nothing, just “lost in his head.” Morgan is skeptical, kinda concerned, again asks “You sure you’re ok kid? I got nothing planned if you wanna come over and have dinner, maybe watch a new documentary? You talked about the new dolphin one on the way home.” “I’m fine, thanks Derek.” He pats Derek’s shoulder and goes home. 

Derek, not one for letting things go. Pulls up a map. “Bridges near east D.C” and finds the closest one to Spencer’s apartment. It’s about 9 pm so it’s dark, slightly chilly in early March or April when he finds him. “I hate that I’m right,” He thinks as he spots Spencer across the bridge. Just staring into the water below. He’s not dressed well for the weather, just a stupid sweater vest and thin dress pants. His phone and wallet are beside him, a classic sign of suicide. The bridge is quiet tonight somehow. There’s construction a few miles north so apparently everyone is detouring around it tonight. 

He slowly approaches Reid. Not wanting to startle the young man into jumping. “If you jump, I’ll jump too.” Even just the normal pitch and volume of Morgan’s voice startles the suicidal man. “Hey hey, relax, it’s just me.” Big brother mode: activate. “Spencer, what’s going on?” The younger man is silent, not processing anything, just frozen, terrified. 

“What?” Reid breathlessly lets out. If Morgan hadn’t been so close, he may have missed it. 

“Hey man, come here.” He pulls Reid into a bone crushing hug. Reid starts crying then. Derek brings them to the ground so they’re sitting with Reid in his lap, tucked up against him. 

Neither man knows how long they sit there, hugging, thankful that the other is there. Reid’s still crying when he asks “how did you find me?” 

“Closest bridge to your house. You said once you like walking there after a long case.” Morgan replies, still playing with Spencer’s hair to soothe him. 

A few minutes later, “How did you know?” 

“Your fish are your most prized possession.” The implicit meaning not lost on either man. The knowledge that his best friend, his brother cared about him starting a new cycle of tears to fall. Derek holds on to him even tighter. They both know they have to talk about this later. They both know this isn’t gonna fix him right away or make him realize his worth in an instance. But right now? They’re both safe. 

Morgan drives Reid back to his place for a full meal and to talk. Morgan is all bro-y. No ship. Sits him down, tells him to talk to him before it gets this bad, asks if he has a therapist. Tells him he always has his back and his door is always open. Gives Reid a spare key. Tells Reid to stay the night and that he’s not a burden. Reid talks about everything over tea (“Tea?” “Last time you came over you made fun of me for not having tea so I bought some last week. I hope lemon and earl grey are ok.” Both men are smiling: Reid for the thought and kindness. Morgan is smiling at the memory and that Reid is still here, appreciating it.) He talks about how hard the last few cases have been, it’s around the anniversary of Hankel and how he’s still sober but it all feels like hell right now. How he usually talks to JJ about more of his feelings and stuff but that she yelled at him today for just asking “How are you?” Because the case hit everyone hard and he wanted to try and be there for JJ but she was so rude about turning him down that it felt like the dam of “self preservation” and “will to live” burst and he was hollow. That’s why he asked Derek about the fish. And Reid apologises so much throughout the whole story. He’s sorry for not talking with Derek more, for not talking to the other team members, for not taking care of himself in general (“Three hours a night isn’t enough pretty boy.” “It’s all I can get at a time these days. Between the nightmares, the weird noises outside, and cases.” he shrugs, “I’m lucky to even get sleep.” “Is that how the migraines started?” “Something like that,” he shrugs again, “the amount of stress and not getting enough time to heal made the existing problems in my brain worse. I used to only get the occasional migraine. Now, I get a couple a week at least.” “Spencer.” )

He apologizes for even wanting to die and leaving the team alone. How he knows on some level he’s valuable but on days like today, he feels worthless. They hug more, Derek promises to do better by him and to remind Spencer that he’s there for him. Even if he’s mad at Reid or stressed, Morgan still wants him in his life and he’s still valuable.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Tuesday, April 9

Cordelia: Somebody is after me! They just tried to kill Ms. Miller? Uh, she was helping me with my homework. And Mitch! And Harmony?! This is all about me! Me, me, me! Xander: Wow! For once she's right! Buffy: So you've come to *me* for help. Cordelia: (nods) Because you're always around when all this weird stuff is happening. And I know you're very strong, and you've got all those weapons... I was kind of hoping you were in a gang.

~~Buffy Episode #11: "Out of Mind, Out of Sight" ~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

the spark (Spike, unrated) by ialwayscomewhenyoucall

Try to Keep Satisfied (Buffy/Spike, E) by ClowniestLivEver

Birthday Blues (Buffy/Spike, E) by RavenLove12

What I Like About Spike (Buffy/Spike, E) by RavenLove12

Play Thing (Buffy/Spike, E) by Maxine Eden

[Chaptered Fiction]

Catching Heat Ch. 1 (Buffy/Tara, E) by mabus101

The Witching Hour: Ch, 1/25 () by TheLightdancer

In the Company of Witches and Slayers Ch. 4/200 (Willow/Tara, E) by VladimirHarkonnen (TheLightdancer)

A Reincarnation in Sunnydale Ch. 35/? (Buffy/Angel, M) by DracoRim98

Goodbye to Everything That I Knew Ch. 28/30 (Buffy/Spike, M) by My_Barbaric_Yawp

Angel Doesn’t Know Ch. 1/? (Buffy/Spike, E) by My_Barbaric_Yawp

With Arms Wide Open Ch. 28/? (Buffy/Giles, E) by jaybird023

Ripped Stockings Ch. 1/? (Jenny/Giles, E) by TheClowniestLivInExistence

The Reason Why Ch. 7 (Buffy/OC, M) by Xyex

Switch Swith Ch. 1-10/10 COMPLETE (Buffy/Spike, E) by sunalso

Ashes to Ashes, We All Fall Down Ch 1-2/2 COMPLETE (Spike/Drusilla, unrated) by Scar_Eve

hit rewind Ch. 47/? (Buffy/Spike, M) by untiljanuary

49 Cemeteries Ch. 21 (Buffy/Spike,, T) by firemanwhenthefloodsrollback

Early One Morning , Chapter 31 (Buffy/Spike, E) by all choseny

The Neighbor's Point of View, Chapter 98 (Buffy/Spike, G) by the_big_bad

Celebrating You, Chapter 7 (Buffy/Spike, E) by RavenLove12

Sculpture of Dance , Chapter 11 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Desicat

Hope is the thing with feathers, Chapter 2-9 (Buffy/Spike, E) by will_

Her Villanelle, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Geliot99

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork:Buffy & Spike () by novivi

Artwork:Buffy () by bethrnoora

Artwork:Cordy, Willow, and Buffy () by yarboyandy

Artwork:Angel & Cordy () by artsying-ifer

Artwork:Dark Willow & Dawn () by fox-toothed

Icons: Slayers icons () by onegirlinallthewrld

Video: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER - Barbie Promo (Fan Trailer) () by Trailerventure

[Reviews & Recaps]

BTVS/Angel Rewatch Chronicles: Seasons 5/2, Part Two by QualifiedApathetic

Mothman’s Buffy Rewatch, Season 2, episode 22, Becoming (Part 2) by mothmans-wedding-photographer

[Community Announcements]

Spring 2024 Round - Pick a Theme by seasonal-spuffyAs promised we are back for the spring round. We still haven't found a new home for Seasonal Spuffy. The sad news is that this round will be our last round on lj/dw. We hope you help us spread the word, so we can go out with a great last round.

Tuesday: Vices by comment-fic

I run a discord server for Buffyverse rarepairs. by riley-summers

[Fandom Discussions]

Was thinking about Riley being an annoying character and something came to mind. by clockwards

Sorry thinking about Buffy breaking down to Tara again and Spike and Tara’s gentle friendship. by clockwards

“came back wrong” trope except she came back normal by thirstghosting

Ughhhh ew who is this Riley bitch. by loonyoz

what if faith during her redemption arc tried being a dog walker by annieofhearts

Summarizing the shit I’ve been ranting about to my buffy freaks this week re: “you arent the source of me” by breezybeej

Oh man, the Nice Guy energy radiating off Xander when Buffy turns him down for the dance is insane. by nicnacsnonsense

Literally one of my all time favorite interactions in btvs by hersterical

nothing makes me more evil than seeing someone misinterpret daniel “oz” osbourne of buffy the vampire slayer fame. by joe-spookyy

My favorite part of Buffy The Vampire Slayer by transgender-spiderman

What if Buffy fell in love with Spike first and was the one running around like a crazy weirdo by skyegraves21

maybe i don't understand how relationships work. by momsforroadhead

Bangel and Cangel parallels II by oveliagirlhaditright

Some Bangel and Cangel Parallels I've Noticed and Decided to Compile Together for Fun by oveliagirlhaditright

these are my picks for the best Buffy episodes in every slot of each season. by coraniaid

People in whose image The First should have appeared at least once during Season 7: by coraniaid

I feel like After Life did a great job at showing depression/loss by Anyanka_Tin

Bronze: 2024 music update by thepalebeast91

Rewatcher: anyone else annoyed with Ash&Angel episodes? by Prestigious_Olive_19

How was Angel enter into the apartment Faith broke into in s1e18 “Five by Five”? by dude19832

The loose ends - and how should they have been tied up? by artmalique

What are the best storylines in your least favorite season? by sadhungryandvirgin

First time watch by BlazinAsianNation

Was Faith justified in her anger at Buffy in "This Year's Girl"? by jdpm1991

Does Angel have photographic memory? by Slayerette444

I love these dresses Willow wears, but have no idea what to look for to find them. by Xandertheokay

Would The Key's identity be safe with you if you were Tara or Spike? by PristineSituation498

What happens to watchers after their slayer dies? by Helpplease49257

Are the monks in S4 complete morons or am i missing something? by FormerlyKnownAsBeBa

How could a Giles/Joyce storyline work? by jogaforacont

Watching Buffy for the first time. About to start Season 2. by Stradiwhovius_

Xander is fine. I don't know what my problem was. by LeoraJacquelyn

Buffy/Angel Relationship Timeline by BeneficialGrade8930

the Prophecy Girl speech by BPD-and-Lipstick

"Reptile Boy" and Wolfram & Hart by SvenVersluis2001

4x2/4 a problem I have with each by ukcountrylover

Some highlights from my Sunnydale Sims 4 save file by missssinister

Unpopular opinion… by Happycatmother

Mark Metcalf as The Master by Smykster

This sub is really hostile at times. by telomeres-

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

PUBLICATION: Before Willow, Larry Was the Gay Representation on 'Buffy' by Instinct Magazine

PUBLICATION: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Took an Idea From Xena: Warrior Princess and Perfected It by Den of Geek

PUBLICATION: All 13 Buffy The Vampire Slayer Characters Who Appeared In Angel (& When) by Screen Rant

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

Join the editor team :)

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I've been informed that early April in Ohio is basically still winter and very likely to be clouded over, so I'm gonna have to rethink my plans for the eclipse.

From where I'm at in Florida it is the exact same distance to my original destination in Wapakoneta, Ohio as it is to Dallas, Texas, 1300 miles on the dot. That said, there's no guarantee that the south will be any clearer than the north, we're 8½ out, any weather predictions are impossible, but I need to pick something. I can't just wait until April and wing it, I need to decide now where I'm going because I need to book hotel rooms for the journey out, the day of, and the journey back, not to mention all the stops I would make along the way. I wanted to hit up as many amusement parks as possible, but most places up north are closed for winter. The eclipse is right around opening day for a lot of them, so they're guaranteed to be packed with tourists. My college roommates drove up to the Carolinas to view the 2017 eclipse and what would have normally been a 6 or 7 hour drive took them over 12, so I know for a fact that every road leading in and out of the path of totality is going to be crammed with bumper to bumper traffic as far as the eye can see.

My gut tells me to avoid cities like Dallas, Little Rock, Indianapolis, and Cleveland because they'll be the most congested, but I can't be the only person thinking ahead like this, so the rural areas inbetween are just as likely to be packed. There really are no safe spots along the path, everywhere is going to be crowded, so that's yet another uncertainty I need to decide on. Oh, and it's right in the middle of the presidential election, just a few weeks after Super Tuesday, so there will be nazis all up and down the eclipse path proudly flying their colors and making themselves everyone else's problem. I'm gonna feel uncomfortable and unwelcome no matter where I go.

There are no really desirable options...

[literaticat]

Hi Jenn, is publishing as a whole (agents, editors/publishers, etc.) mostly closed for the long Easter weekend with normal business resuming next Tuesday? I'm a bit confused as am in Europe and reading conflicting things about the two main publishing hubs (London, UK and NYC, US). Some say it's a public holiday in UK (but not sure if both Friday and Monday or just Good Friday). Others say neither are federal holidays in USA. So is it a case where some people in UK and/or US might be open to business today but not Monday or both today and Monday while others might choose to take one or both days off to have a long holiday weekend? It seems less clear than with other holidays!

In the UK, I believe both today (Good Friday) and Monday (Easter Monday) are technically Bank Holidays -- so while some individual people might be working, of course, lots of people are out of office and the offices are probably closed.

Neither are a bank holiday in the US, so, while I believe offices are technically open, lots of people take the long weekend off, or have children, who are probably off school for Spring Break this whole week through the weekend, and so they are off as well.

Based on the out of office replies I've been getting this week, I'd say that the majority of folks in the US who ARE out this week are coming back on Monday or Tuesday -- though of course some individuals might have next week as well.

That said, I've also had offers this week and plenty of business and emails coming in, so clearly not everyone is out!

(To add to that, the Bologna Book Fair is April 8th week, so SOME people who are attending that are taking off NEXT week as well to get to Italy early -- but that's not everyone, of course, and offices are open. It's just that meetings and such may be delayed if BigWigs are off eating gelato or whatevs).

[hockeylvr59]

Here With Me Part 25 || Taylor Makar

Author’s Note: A four day patriot's day weekend gives Taylor and Kelsey the chance to have their first real getaway as a couple and start to put the past week behind them. Song inspiration: I Don't Love You Like I Used To - John Legend. FC: Marina Laswick (@marooshk on instagram). I didn't want to post this part until I had finished the next but since it's my birthday have it anyway.

Warnings: anxiety, smut, discussion of abortion, lingering trauma // Word Count: 4,031

~~~~

Twenty Four

April 11th, 2023

Though Taylor had texted asking if she was coming over Monday night like normal, Kelsey declined knowing that he had just put up with her all weekend long and could use a little bit of time with his roommates or just not having to deal with her still moderately fragile emotional state. Plus she had plenty of schoolwork to do with having been out of it for basically the last six days. 

Arriving at class on Tuesday morning however, she had a very important question to ask Taylor and smiled softly when he arrived, bringing her her usual coffee order. 

“Do you have plans this weekend?” She inquired. 

“Nope.” Taylor replied matter of factly. “What are we doing?” He asked as he leaned down to peck her lips softly. 

“Friend of mine’s family has a place on the beach in Connecticut that isn’t being used this weekend so thought maybe we could drive down Friday and come back Tuesday. Weekend getaway for the two of us…?” 

“You have sunscreen?” 

The fact that that was Taylor’s only response made a giggle bubble up in Kelsey’s throat for the first time in a week. 

“We can get sunscreen…” Kelsey assured him. “The lotion kind even if you want to help me apply it…” 

A glint in Taylor’s eyes told her that he’d be all for that and her smile brightened a bit more. 

“So does that mean you’ll come with me?” She questioned. “We can cook out and have a fire and kayak and enjoy the hot tub…” 

“Yeah Kels.” Taylor agreed before moving to his seat as their professor entered the room to start class. 

April 14th, 2023

Having texted back and forth with her friend about what the house had and what she needed to bring, Kelsey went shopping early Friday morning picking up steaks, vegetables for grilling and omelets, a bottle of wine, almond milk, and eggs. That would at least cover Friday dinner and Saturday breakfast and then they could figure out what they were doing for food the rest of the weekend and go to the store. 

With all of that packed in a cooler in her trunk beside her weekend bag, Kelsey drove to Taylor’s dorm to pick her boyfriend up for their excursion after his morning training session. 

The drive down into Connecticut was about two hours once a stop for lunch was accounted for so it was early afternoon when they arrived at the house. 

With Taylor there, unloading the car only took one trip and while he carried their things to the bedroom, Kelsey unloaded the cooler into the fridge. When he met her in the kitchen, his hands slid around her waist from behind and Kelsey relaxed into him, glancing off to the side out at the ocean just beyond the windows. They had three full days where this was their view and time moved slower. 

She wanted to enjoy every single second of it. 

Lacing her fingers with his, Kelsey pulled Taylor out the sliding glass doors and through the grassy yard to the small patch of private beach. It was quiet except for the sounds of the ocean and Kelsey felt tension she hadn’t realized she was still carrying slip from her body. 

“It’s been years since I’ve been here.” Kelsey murmured softly, almost afraid the sound of her voice would ruin the tranquility. 

“We’re gonna owe your friend a big thank you because this is nice.” Taylor stated. Not only was the view incredible, but Taylor knew just how much Kelsey had needed this weekend away, how much they needed this weekend as a couple to take that next step forward. 

Pausing at the edge of the beach, Kelsey bent over to slip her shoes off, letting her toes dig into the cool sand. It was still far too early in the year for the ocean to be warm enough to even wade in unfortunately, but the feeling of sand between her toes was enough for now. With Taylor tucking her against his side, they walked along their stretch of beach before sinking into the sand side by side just to stare at the ocean. 

“How you feeling Kels?” Taylor asked quietly as his thumb rubbed over the back of her hand. 

“It’s been a tough week and a half…” Kelsey admitted softly. “Hard dealing with emotions I had buried for self-preservation.” 

“I’m sorry…” Taylor murmured, his expression showing her he understood as he leaned over to kiss her head. 

“I don’t want you to feel sorry for me T, okay?” Kelsey murmured. “And I don’t want this thing to dominate our lives or our relationship.” The way she let out a breath told Taylor that she wasn’t finished and so he stayed silent for a moment longer. “There is always going to be a part of me that struggles with the experiences of my past but I don’t want this to become something that holds us back T…not when things were so good before.” 

“I’m not gonna lie and say that it doesn’t change things.” Taylor declared knowing that she needed to hear the truth. “Our relationship is never going to be exactly the same as it was. But change doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Change can bring healing. Change has and will continue to bring strength. And change means that I love you more deeply than I did before. Yes, things were good, but our future is gonna be even better Kels, this weekend is just the start.” 

The pout on her face and her tense body language told Taylor that she hadn’t liked what she heard and he sighed softly, shifting closer to wrap an arm around her. 

“You having an abortion Kelsey is only going to hold us back…dominate our lives if you let it. Am I probably going to be more cautious about protecting you when we’re intimate because I love you…yes. But if you keep holding onto the trauma you’re carrying that’s what’s going to hurt us. I understand why you buried it for two years because it’s not something that’s easy to deal with alone, but you’re not alone now and you need to start moving through the trauma instead of pretending it doesn’t exist …whether you see a therapist or find a group or even just journal about it. Whatever works for you. I’ll support you however you choose to cope. But doing nothing,  that’s going to be what has the potential to destroy us.” 

Though she hated it, deep down Kelsey knew that Taylor was right and that now that this had all been brought to the surface there was no way she was going to be able to bury it, not without losing everything she loved about her life, Taylor being at the top of that list. 

“I’m gonna try but be patient with me…?” She sighed, tipping her head to rest against his shoulder. 

“Beside you every step of the way.” 

****

Kelsey and Taylor sat on the beach just watching the ocean lap against the shore for over an hour before heading back inside to change out of their sandy clothes. Taylor had certainly given her a lot to think about and so Kelsey was somewhat subdued. 

Dressed in fresh clothes, she moved to the kitchen to start pulling out everything needed to make dinner. Digging through cabinets she found foil, olive oil, and a good steak and vegetable seasoning. As she turned to get things out of the fridge she bumped into Taylor who was holding a glass of wine and looked fondly amused. 

“I lit the fire outside, take this and go sit Kels, I’ve got dinner.” 

“I can…” She started only to be cut off by her boyfriend. “Kelsey, go sit and relax. You did the shopping and the driving, let me make dinner.” 

Knowing that this too wasn’t a battle she was going to win, Kelsey took the wine glass and made her way outside, flopping into one of the comfy chairs near the gas fire pit. 

It was a beautiful day and though Kelsey’s mind was still spinning, she really didn’t want to let her head ruin the weekend. So she just sipped wine and watched the flickering of the fire with the ocean in the background trying to figure out how she could deal with everything so that she didn’t lose the best thing in her life. 

It was scary facing it all head on, which is why she never had. 

After a few minutes, the sliding door opened and Taylor stepped out to start the grill. Before he headed inside he pulled up music on his phone and left it to play from the outdoor dining table. With him leaving the sliding door open, he could hear it just as well from in the kitchen as she could from her spot. Letting out a deep sigh, Kelsey pulled her phone from her pocket to scroll through instagram. 

When she looked up again, Taylor was topping off her wine glass before moving to put foil packets of vegetables on the grill. 

After a few minutes he was back outside with the steaks and once they were on the grill he leaned casually beside it, the weight of his eyes on her. 

The fact that there was still a tension between them killed Kelsey and if she hadn’t cried herself out over the past week, she was certain she would have started at that moment. Instead she took a deep breath and pulled up a book on her phone in an attempt to clear her mind with anything besides what felt so wrong.  

Reading and rereading the same few paragraphs over and over, it wasn’t long before Taylor was pulling things off of the grill. He took it all inside and after a few trips the outdoor dining table had glasses of water on it in addition to two plates full of food and silverware to eat with. 

Taking her glass of wine over, Kelsey settled into the chair Taylor had pulled out for her and set her glass on the table. 

“Looks great T.” She murmured softly, her smile weak. 

He had cooked the steaks perfectly and everything was well seasoned but not overly so. It was absolutely delicious. 

Music continued to play from his phone, filling the otherwise quiet air as neither said much while they ate. 

When plates were cleared, Taylor carried them inside to be washed later and then reappeared grabbing his phone off the table. Not sure what he was doing, Kelsey didn’t think anything of it until Taylor was standing beside her, offering his other hand out to her. 

“Dance with me?” He prompted, pulling her out of the seat once her fingers laced with his. Once she was standing he pressed play on whatever song he had selected before setting his phone down and pulling her away from the table and into his chest. 

I don't love you like I used to

I don't love you just the same

No, I couldn't pretend

Be a liar if I said we haven't changed

Right off the bat, the lyrics echoed everything that Taylor had said just a couple of hours earlier and somehow Kelsey knew this is where he’d gotten that train of thought. 

I love you so much more with every day, ayy

Oh, I'm in too deep to run away, ayy

'Cause you and I been through so much together

And we get closer, the closer we get to forever

There wasn’t much to Taylor’s dancing, it was mostly a sway from side to side as he held her tight, but the way that he sang along with the lyrics of the chorus softly in her ear caused a lump to form in her throat. 

This wasn’t love in the way that kids love, this was love in the way that a man loves a woman, wholly and fully, flaws and all. Taylor had given her glimpses before that they were toeing the forever kind of love but it washed over her now like a raging river. They were both in so far over their heads but Kelsey wouldn’t want it any other way. 

Though the song changed, Taylor’s grip on her didn’t, his body continuing to hold her close while they swayed. Little by little Kelsey’s body relaxed against him and after a few minutes Taylor’s hand swept up to lift her chin so he could kiss her softly and sweetly. 

“We’re good Kels.” He whispered against her lips when he pulled back. “So you gotta stop letting your mind dwell on things that aren’t reality. Just be here…with me.” 

As he kissed her again, Kelsey’s arms slipped up around his neck, pulling him closer into the kiss as whatever playlist he had put on continued in the background. It was the kind of kiss that left you breathless but that you didn’t want to stop, not even to breathe. 

After a few more minutes of kissing and then a few more dancing, Taylor guided her over to the chairs by the fire, sitting down and pulling her onto his lap. 

“Now relax and enjoy the fire and the view with me.” Taylor said softly, just wanting her to stop thinking so much and enjoy the moment they were blessed with. 

Curled in his lap, Kelsey rested her head on his shoulder just looking out as the sun slowly started to set, lighting the sky up in a beautiful palette of color. As it sank beneath the horizon though, the small gas fire did little to stop the chill of the cooling air, and Kelsey shivered. 

“Let’s go inside.” Taylor murmured, feeling her shiver again. Standing from his lap, Kelsey nodded and moved to grab anything else they had left outside while he turned the fire off and grabbed his phone. 

Together they moved inside, turning lights on now that it was dark and Kelsey moved to grab a glass of water while Taylor locked up. 

“I’m assuming you aren’t ready for bed so what do you want to do?” Kelsey asked softly, as Taylor padded toward her. 

“Movie on the couch?” 

Nodding at his suggestion, Kelsey moved to find the remote and turn the tv on to figure out something. While she did so, Taylor turned on the gas fireplace and then settled onto the couch, pulling her onto him. Starting a movie, Kelsey shifted to situate herself in a better position before snuggling into Taylor’s warm body. 

Snuggling Taylor was the best thing. He was solid under her, his hands warm as they trailed light patterns over her skin. And just as it had earlier when he kissed her while dancing, want pooled in Kelsey’s core. 

Adjusting slightly, Kelsey pressed light kisses along Taylor’s jaw seeking his attention. When he glanced away from the movie she kissed the corner of his mouth before moving in for a proper kiss. 

The way Taylor kissed her back made Kelsey sigh happily into his mouth. It was an exploratory kiss, light but enthusiastic. She knew that Taylor was letting her set the boundaries, especially when he urged her to sit up before shifting to lean against the armrest of the couch, keeping her in control while they kissed in a more comfortable position. 

With her arms around his neck, Kelsey deepened the kiss, a soft moan spilling from her throat. With everything that had happened it had been almost three weeks since they’d last had sex and Kelsey’s libido was feeling it. 

She hadn’t even realized that she was grinding down on his lap until Taylor’s hands shifted to still her hips and she saw how dark his eyes were when she paused to breathe. 

Shifting a bit to press her chest firmly against his, Kelsey kissed him again, hot and deep and slowly started to roll her hips despite his hands on them. 

Taylor responded for a moment before pulling back, his grip on her hips tighter. 

“Kels…I need to know if your mind is in control right now or if it’s your hormones.” He asked, his expression soft and full of concern but still laced with the effects of their makeout session. 

Confusion settled onto Kelsey’s face. Why was he asking her that? 

“Kels…the last few weeks have fucked up your mind enough. I don’t want to add to that by having sex before you’re mentally ready just because you’re horny.” 

Though she didn’t mean to, Kelsey couldn’t help the pout that formed on her lips. 

“Kels…” Taylor murmured knowing where her mind could wander to if he didn’t stop it. “I want you, you know that. Just need to be sure that us being together isn’t going to trigger something for you because you’re not actually ready.” 

Kelsey appreciated that Taylor just wanted to take care of her but his concern really wasn’t necessary. 

“Taylor…I’m on long term birth control and we use condoms and I know you’d never do anything to hurt me in that way. Is it 100% guaranteed that I won’t get pregnant…no, but it’s pretty damn close and a level of risk I’m comfortable with. Plus as you’ve told me at least a hundred times in the last week I’m not alone anymore on the rare chance the protection fails. I miss you T. I miss feeling like us. The past few weeks haven’t fucked me up that much that you have to worry about me being triggered by being intimate with you.”

“Ok.” Taylor replied, kissing her nose softly. “But if you want to stop at any point all you have to do is say so.” 

Rolling her eyes, Kelsey shoved his chest as she climbed off of him, sending him a look that told him that now he was just being an idiot. 

“Not gonna happen.” She declared, flipping off the tv and moving to turn off the fireplace before retreating to the bedroom with a glance over her shoulder. 

By the time Taylor had locked up and turned all the lights off on his way to the main bedroom he found Kelsey sprawled on the bed in only a pair of light green panties trimmed with black lace and a black satin bra. 

Looking her up and down, Taylor met her gaze, holding it for a long moment before moving across the room to kneel on the bed beside her. 

“Beautiful.” He murmured, leaning in to kiss her. 

There was a fire behind Kelsey’s kiss as she returned Taylor’s, one hand sliding up under his shirt along the firm muscles of his back. 

As the kiss continued, Kelsey shifted her free hand to help tug Taylor’s shirt off of his body before whimpering as all his bare skin came on display for her. How lucky was she to have him all to herself? 

When his hand edged under her shoulder, Kelsey arched her back up toward him so that he could pop the hooks on her bra before pulling the satin from her body. 

“T…I need you.” She breathed, pulling him down for another kiss and basking in the feeling of his bare chest on hers. 

“All. Yours.” Taylor mumbled against her mouth between kisses. “After I get a condom.” He added when he pulled away, her complaints following. 

Those complaints fell silent when he pushed both his pants and boxer briefs off of his body after pulling a foil package from his weekend bag. Kelsey was never going to tire of seeing him nude and hard for her. 

“Your show tiger.” He declared as he pulled her on top of him as he fell back on the bed. He wanted her to have the extra control after everything and he certainly couldn’t complain about the fact that she looked like a goddess over him. 

With Kelsey kissing him again, hot but teasing, Taylor tugged at her panties, removing them when she moaned softly into his mouth. As his hands slid back up her body, Taylor quickly ran two fingers through her core finding her as wet as all the times they’d been together previously. With her assurances that both her body and mind were ready, Taylor slipped the condom into her hand. He wanted her to feel confident that it was on properly and that he wasn’t going to hurt her. 

Instead of tearing the condom wrapper open immediately like he had expected, Kelsey instead set it beside her as she straddled his lap and her fingers grazed over his length making him groan and twitch. 

“Kels if you touch me I’m gonna…” He warned, only for her to nod. Still instead of reaching for the condom, Taylor watched as her gaze dropped to his length hard and heavy between his hips where her fingers had been moments before. The way she focused on it made him swallow hard because she seemed to be examining him with her eyes to the point where he almost felt a little self conscious. 

After a minute or two her eyes lifted to meet his and she smiled as she leaned over him. 

“I love you.” She declared softly. “And I hope you know that one of these days I’m going to thoroughly explore your dick even more because it fascinates me.” Her kisses against his lips were light and teasing but full of her love for him and when she pulled back to breathe she finally reached for the condom, tearing it open and pulling it from the wrapper. Pinching the tip she carefully rolled it down his length until he was fully sheathed.

Though Taylor had questions on why she didn’t leave air at the tip he knew that she knew what she was doing and just made a note to ask her about it later. For now he was just going to focus on her and making sure that she was okay and that they both enjoyed this. 

“You’re something else Kels.” Taylor mumbled as she shifted over him. “And for the record…I love you too.” 

As his last words fell from his mouth, Kelsey started sinking down over him, immediately surrounding him in the tight warmth of her body. 

“Oh….” She breathed, pausing before continuing to lower herself, little gasps escaping her. 

Sliding his hands over her thighs to her hips, Taylor supported her as she took him fully. 

There really was nothing like feeling her like this. 

After a moment her walls fluttered around him as she got comfortable and then she slowly started raising and lowering herself over him in a slow but steady pace. 

Focusing on her face, Taylor kissed her softly trying to help her relax and enjoy so that the pleasure could wash over her. And by focusing on her, it was easier to control his own dick so that he didn’t cum before she did. 

Eventually, Taylor could feel her legs wobble a little as she started to tire and he broke the kiss to meet her gaze. 

“Sides okay?” He questioned, only shifting them once she had nodded, dipping her head to his shoulder for a short rest. 

Carefully, Taylor lifted her off of him before rolling them to their sides and positioning her in a way he could carefully slip back inside of her. 

Holding her close, his movements were still slow as he ground against her between gentle thrusts. 

“Cum for me love.” He urged whispering softly into her ear. With Kelsey clinging tighter to him, Taylor kissed softly over her face and slid a thumb to rub at her clit until she was clamping down around him as her orgasm rolled over her body drawing tears from her eyes. With his following before hers had even ended, Taylor gently worked them both though the lingering waves before pulling out and holding her close. 

When Kelsey looked up at him she wiped the tears away and kissed him, a relaxed and sated smile on her lips. 

“So did you bring more condoms or do we need to add them to the shopping list?” 

Yeah…this weekend was gonna be good for them.

[fruitymations]

TW // serious medical talk This is a really important update about what's going on. I'm copying/pasting the text from my Twitlonger post. Everything is under a read more.

Hey everyone. I've been inactive quite a bit due to family emergencies that have popped up.

I normally don't talk about these things publicly, but it's gotten so bad I've decided to give some sort of an update for my social media.

My father is currently in the hospital. On Tuesday (April 11th) he was found unconscious for up to two hours in the lumber department at a Home Depot store nearby where we live. He has a more severe case of type 2 diabetes and his blood sugar was found to be around 780 during this incident. He refused medical treatment but the Home Depot staff refused to let him drive home on his own as his condition could put himself and others at risk if he were to go behind the wheel.

He seemed a little out of it when I went to go see him the next day on Wednesday (April 12th). I assumed he was tired from the previous day's incident and that his medications might have been taking a while to kick in. I went to see him to pick up the car keys for our other van so I could pick up the van from the Home Depot parking lot. My father lives separate from us at the house that my mom owns. It's the same house she got in early 2021 that I've been trying to renovate from time to time. Me and my mother live in the condo unit we've had since early 2009.

On Saturday (April 15th) I was headed to my weekend delivery job. I was driving the family van since my regular car is currently in the shop as of writing this. I decided to stop by the house to drop off the other house keys and lockbox keys that my dad had attached to the van's key fob. When he answered the door I immediately knew something was wrong. He was showing signs of what looked like a typical stroke (left side of his body and face was mostly paralyzed, slurred and slowed speech, significant mental confusion). I called an ambulance for him after contacting my mother, my sister, and a close family friend about it.

He was taken to the emergency room and his fasting blood sugar was 465. The medical staff at the hospital tried bringing his blood sugar down and he got sleepy quickly. He's not in a coma, but he's been asleep since then and they haven't been able to get him to fully wake up. He also is unable to wake up on his own. I eventually found out that he hasn't been taking any pill medication for his diabetes and other ailments since November of 2022. He's supposed to take daily insulin injections for his blood sugar, but I found out that his most recent insulin injections he had expired in April of 2022.

I will give a more thorough update on his hospital stay and condition once he is out of the hospital, since things are still in progress with him. I've been going around updating my aunts and uncles on his side of the family (he has about seven or eight siblings; I don't know all of them since he's not great at keeping in touch with others). I've also been scrambling around to keep my mother, my sister, my friends, my partners, and close family friends about his condition as the hours and days go on. I'm his only kid and his next of kin so I've had to go back and forth on updating everyone. Once he's able to wake up on his own and is coherent, I'll have to discuss with him on becoming his power of attorney for healthcare in case anything serious happens in the future where he's unable to make medical decisions for himself.

On top of this, my mother also has her own laundry list of medical issues that require lots of various medications to keep her stable and alive. She also has type 2 diabetes but it's not as severe as my father's. Her other health conditions include interstitial lung disease (and lung scarring caused by this condition), severe sleep apnea, stage 3 pulmonary arterial hypertension, and edema (doctors suspect its caused by the heart struggling to keep up with her conditions). I'm mostly worried about her pulmonary arterial hypertension because there is no cure and it usually is the cause of death for those who are diagnosed with it.

Despite her conditions, she still goes to work since she's the financial stronghold of the household. Good friends of mine, along with my family and both my partners, all know about the debt that we have been dealing with. My mother has accumulated $120,000 USD of credit card debt and still owes about $180,000 USD for the mortgage on the house we got back in 2021. All together it's a total of $300,000 USD.

The things I can do to raise money is limited if it's through me, since I'm on SSI, and being on SSI means there are tight and usually unethical financial restrictions put on people like me. I get my healthcare through SSI via Medicaid. If I lose my SSI, I lose my healthcare. I have some health issues myself (mild GERD, possible PCOS, possible IBS, weight problems, some dental problems that I have to wait to get seen for, and mental health issues).

We are on the verge of bankruptcy and are possibly facing the loss of the little bit of stability that we have left. My mother isn't able to retire without risking financial ruin and she's dealing with an incurable disease that will most likely slowly kill her. I don't know if my father will bounce back from his current condition or not. I don't even know if his insurance will cover any of this.

I've been reluctant to open donations or fundraisers for this because I don't want to just take people's money left and right as I'd just feel bad about it.

I'm terrified. I'm exhausted. I don't know what to do.

[flowercrowngods]

I get that feeling. When my grandparents died everything just continued on like normal and I just kept going about my business and I didn’t know what to do with myself. It’s a normal reaction to feel numb and disconnected. I know I felt really guilty about it for a long time, but everyone processes guilt differently and it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Could you go for a drive and blare music really loudly and sing? I know that helps me when I feel floaty and disconnected.

one thing my parents kept saying over and over and over again is how final this feels. i hate how stuck they are on this. they were never supposed to watch any of us die, and they know, and they knew him so much better than i did and he was family to them too and it feels wrong that all i am about this is quiet, and simultaneously pragmatic and sensitive.

i can’t go for a drive, i don’t have a license, and i don’t want to listen to music or sing. it feels like all i can do is sit here and lie here and wait for the normal to finish shifting and leave me here just three inches to the left, not quite right in the picture

[ofskysanddragonsandstars]

Just a little side project

because the RotTMNT movie ensnared me, and there are so many wonderful fics about F!Turtles coming to the past, I had to give it a shot but with my own twist. So, here is the star of the story, Casey Jones’ not-so, maybe a little bit, terrible day. Title: It’s Like Cancer, My Dear (It’s a Slow Death)

Hopefully I’ll finish the first chapter soon, but for now, enjoy this little WIP. I don’t foresee this being a long fic (says every writer), but who knows. Enjoy!

Some regular Tuesday morning. 

A persistent beeping noises reaches the teenager's ears, jerking him awake. With a groan, Casey reaches over to turn off his alarm on his phone. Sure, his time in the rebellion caused him to wake up at odd hours, but after over a year, sleep habits die hard. Slowly, he stretches out, waking fully. He has school in an hour. Rolling out of bed, picking out clean clothes, and brushing his teeth, Casey padded into the kitchen to find Splinter and Mikey. 

"Good morning, Casey!" Mikey quips happily. "I just cut up some fruit!" 

Casey smiles, "Morning, Mikey. Splinter." It never got old seeing his friends first thing in the morning. 

Splinter simply grunts and raises his tea mug in greeting. It surprised Casey that Splinter was a morning person, and when he asked, Splinter had admitted that after raising four boys, mornings were the least rowdy, allowing for some peace and quiet. However, once Casey started high school, Mikey began to wake up early as well to prepare breakfast. Honestly, it was a sweet gesture. 

Casey grabs a plate to dish up some cantaloupe and strawberries, taking a set next to Mikey. While pancakes are a favorite in the Hamato lair, the novelty of fresh fruit is Casey's favorite. He savors every bite, trying to forget about dreading to go to school.

As usual though, it does not last long. Too soon he is swinging his backpack across his shoulders, checking to make sure he has is mask and extra knife hidden. Too soon he is sitting on a public bus. Too soon he is walking the overcrowded hallways, and too soon is he sitting at his self-proclaimed desk in the back.

“Hey, Casey,” waves the brunet who sits in front of him. What is her name again? Jesse?

Tentatively, Casey waves back with a small, “Hi.” Every day, without fail, she always waves at him. Actually, Casey realizes, she waves at everyone that comes in the classroom. He is secretly jealous of her outward nature. If only it is that easy.

Aside from April, making human friends has proven to be a challenge. It’s not like he has any shared experiences to connect with people. What is he supposed to say? Yeah, I survived the futuristic apocalypse, if you count being thrown back in time as surviving, and live with mutated turtles and an old rat who is the movie star Lou Jitsu, but enough about me, what about you? Casey does not see that conversation going well. It’s easier to avoid it all together. Besides, he has Leo, Raph, Mikey, Donnie, April, Cass, and Splinter. What more does he need?

Apparently, a normal human life, according to April.

The screech of the bell rings, taking Casey out of his musings. It does not help his headache. Oh yeah, his headache. Pretty sure Professor Donatello would classify it as a migraine with how long it has lasted. Casey does not know when it started, just that he woke up it.

It’s probably nothing, he thought. I’m just dehydrated.

“Alright, class!” drawls his teacher, an old lady with streaks of silver hair and comically thick glasses. If anyone could suck out the joy of learning, it was his teacher. “Listen for roll call.”

Man, does high school suck.

[taylorthrift]

Hi, SwiftiePride anon again, hope you're having a great Tuesday! I'm glad to be getting to know you. 😊 I'd love to hear more about some of your favorite songs on 1989 and folklore! What are some of the most meaningful lyrics to you? What are your top 5 (or 10 or 13 or whatever number you want haha) Taylor songs of all time? They don't need to be from those two albums. 😊 Have a good week!!!!!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💖

I am so sorry I haven't responded to this yet. It's been a very busy week for me which is 'new' to me having been in a deep depressive slump for 6 years.

I'm not sure you want an essay on this so i'll try not to be as BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH as I normally am!

I was tangentially a Taylor Swift fan pre 1989. I liked singles, sang along to them. When Red came out was when I really started to pay attention (the pop sounds are more my taste certainly) but it wasn't just the pop that got me it was the riveting storytelling. WANEGBT is such a fun romp of a music video-which leads me to 1989.

Shake it Off: I was in my 30s when Shake it Off came out and it was such a great time, watching it take over and be played EVERYWHERE. It was not just an earworm, but (along with the video) made Taylor into a fool for herself. She was so totally self effacing that it made everyone fall in love with her and the music. She recognized herself as a clown-and the media's obsession with her was the circus. I have a whole essay that I came to tumblr to write about initially about how as a result of learning how to do this myself my job title literally got to be "Rockstar" (I worked as an IT Director at a national non profit)

Welcome to New York: An underrated song of the experience of moving to new york (something I too had done in my early 20s)

Blank Space: A brilliant satire and feminist critique of the narrative the world had built around her. A banger to boot. (And more making fun of her self) For years this was my favorite Taylor Swift song.

Style: Probably the sexiest song I know. The lines alone don't do it justice, but the way she sings "He said what you heard is true but I, can't stop thinking about you, and I, I say i been there too a few times" Is some deeply passionate relatable real romance. This wasn't the fairytale romance of "love story" this was people with chemistry who keep trying other things and keep being drawn back to each other. This wasn't just sex, this was magnetism and the tone she incants with it is so evocative.

Clean: Catharsis. A song that relates to addiction of any kind. "so i punched a hole in the roof" was more powerful than the climax any show or series i'd watched or read. It breaks me every time. It is the perfect end to the album.

(weird coincidence time: Wonderland was what I called the world that my boyfriend and I had built together as a safe retreat from the world. I have always had an Alice in Wonderland obsession, i have a whole spot in my house filled with Alice dolls and books. I bought this house because it had a cool display cabinet built into the front hall. I joined this fandom (april 14th) after breaking up with my boyfriend (on april 8th a few hours before the rumors about taylor and joe breaking up reached me) and losing my 'Wonderland'...I did not know literally, honestly till april 20th of this year that Taylor had a Wonderland on 1989. And then-as i was reeling from this information-the next night Taylor did Wonderland as her secret song.)

Wait I think I have failed at not writing an essay somehow.

Folklore is ...really raw for me right now? I have trouble thinking about it or talking about it because so much of my relationship is bound up in me using those songs to communicate how i was feeling with my ex.

Mirrorball was our love song though. A sad tragedy of me always spinning for him-desperate to keep his attention. It's beautiful but it's a terrible fate to always be working for the attention of one person and they're not working to get yours.

... :(

which is i guess where Hoax comes in. he never cheated on me-just, had lots of other stuff going on and didn't have as much time for me as I had for him? I was everything to him by words-but by actions and where he spent his time and how he spent his time....it was a faithless love and i desperately was begging him for a reason to stay in the relationship.

and Peace: I am a tormented woman. I have incredible gifts and love and sincerity in abundance, but my depression takes and takes and takes. There is no happy ending with me-there is little comfort to be found. And I could give love forever and never love myself.

i um

[valenshawke]

Weekly Writing Report - April 21, 2023

It’s been an interesting week, I’ll say that much.

Progress was made on one fic only and I have to start mulling over how exactly I want to structure my time. Even back writing my dissertation, when I was also a teaching assistant, life was very much a case of write-anything-you-can-in-whatever-time-you-have. Got 15 minutes between something? Laptop on? Write. 

I no longer have that pressure. What I do have is just being mentally fried after work. I mean, one distinct possibility is to wake up early and try to write BEFORE I log into work. Eh, who knows. 

Clare meets Miata. Still working on that one scene. Things I’m trying to do: Avoiding everyone sounding like they’re trying to get a good grade in therapy. Because while it is all about helping Miata cope, Clare doesn’t quite know what to do, so sometimes she puts Miata in uncomfortable social situations. But it’s still slow going even though I’ve gotten to a point where I can probably end this scene? Though it doesn’t feel like it’s close to an end. What am I supposed to do? I’m not sure. So again, I probably need to go back to the other fic and write out a comfortable and, dare I say, happy Miata to figure it out. In terms of word count: Wrote 444 words this week. 

Effexor/Venlafaxine has good and bad effects. The good effect is it definitely improved my mental health. Some signs of improvement is I’ve stopped several of the negative habits associated with a crash in my mental health. The bad effects are the initial side effects. I dealt with severe nausea most of the week and food outright tasting weird for like four days. I started last Friday and between Saturday and Tuesday… yikes man, almost everything just tasted unpleasant. Not in a rotten way, but just unpleasant and chemically. Today, the food is tasting normal-ish but I have to double my dosage tomorrow.

I was thinking I’d have a bit of lull at work to do more writing, but NOPE. Got to jump in on analysis on my old project. 

So ends this week’s report.

[beardedmrbean]

With Finnish and Swedish foreign ministers meeting in Helsinki on Tuesday, Helsingin Sanomat iterates (siirryt toiseen palveluun) on the ongoing Nato discussion in Finnish public life, with comments from senior MP Jussi Halla-aho (Finns). The former leader of his party, who now chairs the Foreign and Security policy committee in parliament, weighed in on whether Finland has decided it should join Nato without Sweden.

On Monday Iltalehti had reported (siirryt toiseen palveluun) that Finland's security policy elite had discussed the issue in the last week, and that a consensus was emerging that Finland could join without Sweden.

Anonymous sources informed IL that "party leaders, the national leadership and other key politicians" had been involved in talks to chew over Turkey's intransigent stance on Sweden's desire to join the military alliance.

That reporting is overblown, according to Halla-aho. There's no policy line to that effect, and it cannot be decided without parliament or without the committee he chairs.

He did add, however, that he had always said Finland should not condition its bid for Nato membership on Sweden being accepted as well.

His committee is meeting this week to discuss its position on the Nato law itself.

Publicly, it's been reported that Sauli Niinistö called party leaders to his official residence to emphasise that they must be ready to move quickly on Nato membership — even in the period after planned elections on 2 April, when government formation talks will be in full swing.

PM Sanna Marin (SDP), meanwhile, has suggested that a minority government might be formed after the election to make rapid decisions regarding Nato membership.

Food inflation slowdown?

Iltalehti carries a story (siirryt toiseen palveluun) about food inflation that has a little bit of optimistic news for those concerned about the price of groceries.

Year-on-year inflation hit 14.5 percent in October, thanks to poor harvests and trade disruptions caused by Russia's war on Ukraine.

Jyrki Niemi of the Natural Resources Institute (Finnish acronym Luke) says that this year prices should stabilise at least towards the end of the year.

"If we have normal harvests globally, the second half of the year should see a halt in food inflation, in practice," said Niemi. "It's too early to forecast the timing of a fall in food prices, but by the end of the year we won't see prices rise."

The year-on-year comparison for the end of the year is a relatively high price level, making further inflation less likely.

IL reports that meat and dairy prices are expected to rise 3-4 percent at the start of the year, but the prices of fresh fish and grain products have already stabilised.

Tampere schoolkids get to choose their food

Vegetarian food in schools has been a culture war issue in Finland, with the idea of a vegetarian day — when all food is vegetarian and no meat is available — proving particularly incendiary to a certain demographic of online commenter.

Aamulehti reports (siirryt toiseen palveluun) that Tampere is trying out a solution to that issue. Since the turn of the year children in Tampere schools no longer have to request vegetarian food as a special diet option, they simply see it as an option in their canteen and can choose it if they like.

That lowers the threshold for trying out vegetarian food and, according to the product development team at the school meal provider Voimia, will encourage children to taste meat-free options.

There has been no increase in food waste either, according to Voimia.