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teatyryn · 9 months ago

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ok im working on a character sheet for pookie trust...I'm literally starving on content

me when i get interested on that one loser character with a total of 10 fics featuring him ...

#ok but srsly who gave him that last name #literally surviving off the scraps of other fazbear fright fics #that one cabinet man hide and seek animatic bangs so hard guys #I'm literally coping I've watched it so many times #normal behavior here only #yap

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mwolf0epsilon · 9 days ago

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I have some major gripes with the premise of 'Day of the Diesels' and honestly think it could be fixed if, for once, the stale 'Steamies vs Diesels' plotline had been disregarded and the movie actually showcased the diesels in a more sympathetic light.

I'm not here to say characters like Diesel, Arry & Bert, and Diesel 10 are completely blameless in their acquired bad rep. Lets face the fact, they're deceitful, have a rather aggressive approach to things, and more often than not they are out to cause trouble for others because they think it's funny.

But come on man... Going for the same kind of storyline where Steam Engines and Diesel Engines are at each other's buffers just for the fact they're different types of engine is kind of lazy at this point (especially considering the fact this was done before in 'Calling All Engines').

Wouldn't it be much more compelling if, for once, the diesels actually do have a rightful reason to be causing a ruckus (their home is decrepit, unsafe and lacks basic amenities for maintaining them) and (because they feel like they can't be upfront about their concerns due to their past misbehavior), they end up making this grand convoluted scheme that goes terribly sideways, but that ultimately gives way for some actual exploration of why Sir Topham Hatt's management of the diesels feels so underwhelming in comparison with the great care he takes in tending to his steam engines?

It could even be that the fat controller doesn't realize he's neglecting them a bit because he's so focused on trying to keep the steam engines from ever wanting for more (I mean, the time of steam has come to an end in the mainland, so of course he'd be worried about the future of his beloved steam engines he's had for so much longer!).

On a logical standpoint, it's considerably easier to get diesels and new parts for diesels nowadays, so Sir Topham Hatt would postpone something he feels like can be done in the snap of a finger versus something that might potentially take much too long... And that's the mistake here.

The fact the diesels can get new stuff so easily but don't, could be the crux of the issue. Prioritization, procrastination and perhaps a bit of forgetfulness and obliviousness to the mess one has made...

#Thomas and Friends #TTTE #Day of the Diesels #I wouldn't mind a rewrite of the movie where Diesel 10 is the protagonist and it dawns on him that his behavior is impacting the others #So he tries to fix things in the only way he knows how to and screws up anyway #but in doing so he actually manages to point out a glaring issue in the fat controller's management of the railway #it's so easy to think the fat controller treats all engines equally #but the state of the dieselworks put that into question for me #and the plot of big world big adventures does prove thomas is his favourite #I'm not saying he's the villain here just that he's human and humans make mistakes through poor handling of many tasks and a bit of bias #he grew up with steam engines it's only normal he's trying to adjust to handling diesel engines and not being as aware of their needs #also thomas is straight up an asshole in this movie and not the funny cheeky little shit we love #they mishandled his character so badly #(cameo from milfcutlawquane in this she had to suffer through this movie with me)

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the-woman-upstairs · 7 months ago

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It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.

#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me #let’s not even get into Claudia’s anger at never being enough #iwtv spoilers #interview with the vampire #armand #this is just me speaking from personal experience…but there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand #and I don’t necessarily mean that pejoratively- when you’re desperate for people to like/love you you’ll become whatever they want #or whatever you think they’d want and you give it to them so they’ll want to keep you around #I’ve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake it’s also a survival tactic #you give someone what they want they won’t hurt you #and when that’s how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others #even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode #as a means of control both external and internal #this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that he’s never truly broken out of #armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior #and even tho it’s ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louis’ relationship #idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires #all of this also ties into louis and daniel #because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him #someone HUMAN no less #and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis #breaking daniel’s mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldn’t #not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (I’m very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how you’ll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones #it’s all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize #like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia #I’ll probably still find myself saddened by Armand’s fate because I’ve absolutely been there myself #it’s a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors #that ultimately result in your own abandonment #god this fucking show

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al-luviec · 3 months ago

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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)

#alek insanity #not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant #home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day #s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but #its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his #true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish #seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each #other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people #some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here #and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to #say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav #for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has #always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he #doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong #with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only #baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me #the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did #cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the #form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird #(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was #avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol #but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself #for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc #he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow

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arielluva · 2 months ago

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waiting for files to upload and having a moment about feelings ive had my entire life but never realized i had

#saw a tiktok where someone described feeling like a 'placeholder friend' and i was like. oh. yeah. thats a feeling i have #god its crazy to think about. when i would see stuff about always feeling like you're weird i didnt think that applied to me #until i thought about it more and realized i HAVE always been very aware that im seen as 'weird' i just didnt always see it as a bad thing #i feel like it was also hard to look inward about my behavior bc i was so thoroughly convinced i was normal. despite trying to adjust my -#- behavior to what i thought people do. trying to react like how i thought people were supposed to react #trying to cover up my actual thought processes behind things and fabricate what i thought was more normal reasoning #despite all of that i was unironically like 'thank god im the only normal one here' for SO LONGGGG #learning that i was probably autistic when i was like 16 sent my whole world crumbling down LOL #all because i took an autism quiz for fun. i was so sure that i wasnt. so i took the quiz. and then i scored highly #and then i looked into it more and thought more about myself and Oops! that all kinda describes me!#so. yeah. been having a moment tonight. evaluating my feelings ive had all my life and whatever #usually knowing im different doesn't get me down all that often. but it kinda is tonight! just a little #its probably because its 1 in the morning right now. ill be less emotional when its not the middle of the night #but. man

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novelhater · 2 months ago

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currently reading a bl that i don't care very much for but i keep hitting next chapter because the readers all vocally loathe the ml yet all still diligently show up in the comments section to rant about him every single time like they're clocking into work. you hate him so much but you're still here...

#i know they're all just waiting for the wife chasing crematorium part but it's still really funny #'ahhhh i can't stand this guy i hope he dies horribly!!!' *keeps reading anyway*#watching people gradually tap out is also really funny #like i don't enjoy the story at all i'm purely here for the comments section it's great #the ml is a total fucking scumbag 100% the villain in any other story and every few chapters the author will tease some #opportunity for him to soften up or realize his feelings and act nicer #and then instead of him growing as a person he ups the ante and does something 10x worse than what he was #already doing. genuinely indefensible behavior #and then the push over protagonist is like 'we've been having so much sex i feel so gooey and strange inside... maybe i...#...have feelings for him??' like no baby you can't you have to kill him.#you have to kill him.#i really like wife chasing stories where the chased wife recognizes how awful the ml is and hates his guts #but i just can't stand the ones where the wife puts up with it until he's mentally broken and no longer has any hope or happiness #and then and only then is the ml like '...did i take it too far? ): he doesn't like having sex anymore...' i'll kill you for real!!!#this is the latter and normally i would've quit by chapter 10 but the comments are just so good

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cozza-frenzy · 3 months ago

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Having a really normal one today, lads

#Looking out of the window smoking a cigarette kind of mood and we don't even smoke #Someone in a fandom we're in just got called out for some uncomfortable behavior (not illegal)#We hate the way this was handled and we weren't even involved #Someone shouldn't have to rake themselves across the coals in public and grovel and beg - this should have been taken care of privately #But nobody is allowed to fuck up and get quietly kicked out - especially older adults because our existence here is already tentative #We're on permanent probation and constantly subjected to scrutiny - we're here only until others decide to stop tolerating us #There's an assumption of Guilty Until Proven Innocent and of course the accusations of predatory behavior came flying in here #Over-analyzing the way this person speaks to others to try and brand them as dangerous and not just someone socially awkward #idk man obviously their behavior was out of line - they disrespected boundaries and acted inappropriately #But why is this considered normal? Did anyone even talk to them about it?#Not tagging this because we don't know who's fronting

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mad-hunts · 5 months ago

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✧

send me a ✧ and i’ll bold all that apply to your muse! (with italics as a 'sometimes' option because i'm a rule-breaker and things may depend on the situation).

i would kill you. ✧ i would physically hurt you. ✧ i would attack you unprovoked. ✧ i would manipulate you. ✧ i dislike you. ✧ you annoy me. ✧ you scare me. ✧ you intimidate me. ✧ i hope i intimidate you. ✧ i pity you. ✧ you disgust me. ✧ i hate you. ✧ i’m indifferent toward you. ✧ i’d like to get to know you better. ✧ i’d like to spend more time with you. ✧ i’d like to be friends with you. ✧ i’m unsure what to think of you. ✧ i’m unsure how I feel about you. ✧ you are my friend. ✧ you are my best friend. ✧ you are my mentor. ✧ i look up to you. ✧ i respect you. ✧ you are my hero. ✧ you inspire me. ✧ you are my enemy. ✧ you make me happy. ✧ i want to protect you. ✧ i would fight by your side. ✧ i consider you an equal. ✧ i think you are beneath me. ✧ i think you are above me. ✧ i would lie for you. ✧ i would lie to you. ✧ i would sleep with you. ✧ i would sleep by your side. ✧ i would hug you. ✧ i would kiss you. ✧ you are family to me. ✧ i would die for you. ✧ i would kill for you. ✧ i would trust you with my life. ✧ i would trust you with my most precious belonging. ✧ i would trust you with a secret. ✧ i would trust you with my biggest / darkest secret. ✧ i love you (platonically). ✧ i love you (romantically).

#sifonie #OOH BOYYY. the mixed nature of this is... JSJSJ i'm sorry about barton ramone he is justtt. Not the best person even around people-#he likes / cares about sometimes NGL and a lot of his relationships if not all of them are (unfortunately) unstable to at least a small-#degree. though of course i'm not trying to justify his behavior at all here... i just think that barton literally Cannot Help himself-#whenever it comes to manipulating people to the point where he may even do it unconsciously sometimes as terrible as that might sound 💀#and as for the whole 'you scare me' thing i think this just applies in the context of sibyl technically having the power to like. Kill him-#if they wanted to even if they wouldn't considering that they are like siblings to each other you know? and barton is naturally a-#distrustful person SO that also adds to him feeling a bit scared of them at times i think ahahhh.#but that's enough of talking about the negative stuff!! let's talk about how barton sees sibyl as an equal and would die for them...#because i honestly that serves as SUCH a dichotomy to the first thing's that i highlighted here and normally those thing's-#probably wouldn't coexist within the same person but if there is one thing that barton is - it's surprising in regards to how complex-#he can make his relationships with people JSJSJ LMAO but barton wanting to protect them is also? kind of sweet as well?? like OMG #plus the fact that they make him happy is 😭 it's really kind of touching in my humble opinion.#now if only barton didn't feel the need to LIE and still manipulate people sometimes even when he likes them...#then we'd be golden but i guess that would be asking for too much from him JSJSJ #not me talking as if he's real 😂 nooo but this was seriously really fun to fill out so thank you for sending this prompt to me ramone!!#and i hope i was able to shed a little more light on their relationship from barton's side of thing's bc i feel like it can be hard to tell #what barton truly thinks about someone even when i'm writing him in the 'stream of consciousness' style haha #also the italics is a 'maybe' in this case so it doesn't apply all the time!!

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complexedandfruity · 10 months ago

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story time: my current work project is a country tour that’s getting ready to go out. we’re currently in rehearsals with the band, & the artist doesn’t get here until tomorrow. lighting & video still need someone to stand on stage so they have something to focus their spotlights & cameras on, so for the past few days there’s just been some random stagehand standing in stage in a cowboy hat, looking bored out of their minds, & i laugh literally every time i see it

#khak’s work tag #(note: it’s normal for artists to only be in rehearsals a few days despite rehearsals being scheduled for 1-2 weeks; no diva behavior here)

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tariah23 · 1 year ago

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I hope that white gay couple who adopted that adorable little black child goes to hell so fast ohhhhh

#they’re already propping the baby up on their SM and using her for content…#transracial adoption is a curse #I wish every child adopted by wp the utmost support and safety for the coming years #most of the time they end up so screwed up #they’re isolated from their own people and history and are raised white because most wp don’t care if the child loses their sense of self #and awareness in these situations that they’re thrusted in just because wp wanna look like they aren’t racist for the gram or whatever tf #hiding behind their children to shield them from accusations of racism is crazy #the white gay dude posted a video of himself combing the babies hair too hard talking about some ‘um can I get some help here black people’#basically like man you could’ve looked it up online yourself you clown #wp be adopting minority children for selfish reasons #the children don’t know any better when their peers use microagressions towards them and they think it’s normal behavior they don’t know #anyone who looks like them #it makes me so sad thinking about the stuff that they have to go though and it’s sad that most of them are only able to be free once they #leave home and I know the the culture shock must be insane….#finally being around people who look just like you but you don’t feel like you’re part of their world… that must feel so lonely bro #at a certain point you’ll have to teach yourself these things #rambling

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seilon · 1 year ago

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you know im realizing now. with the exception of a few resident psychiatrists, ive had like. no good experiences with mental health professionals

#most recent occurance is eating my brain alive right now because I feel just so. degraded and offended by how she chose to evaluate me #I won’t get into it because it will make me spiral even more and get angrier and more overwhelmed but tldr she didn’t acknowledge #anything I said about my symptoms both out loud and via written test. chose to ignore or dismiss anything that came from me #as if I couldn’t be trusted to recount my own experiences and feelings. also did not take into account that I am an adult and thus have Had #to learn to mask and shit so while she brushed off So Much Shit because i seemed (in the three hours she met/saw me)#functional Enough. that’s only becuaee I put in a Lot of effort every day to do so. and that effort does not last forever #and of course because. like I said I’m an adult. I’ve been yelled at I’ve been punished I’ve been put through courses and #through the ringer of Society in general to the point where I mimic Normal Person Behavior at least somewhat decently when im prepared to do #so. she treated me like a child and didn’t acknowledge most of my major issues. ignored me when I said I don’t avoid social situations out #of fear/anxiety I avoid them because it takes a lot of energy for me to mask and try and read people and act accordingly #and in her report suggested generalized anxiety. part of the reason I was there is because anxiety HASNT ever properly described my #avoidant behavior.#and just. yeah I said I wouldn’t get into it but here we are. this always happens #it’s just eating at me because I keep realizing more and more things she just fucking disregarded. literally wrote that I ‘listed many #relevant symptoms’ and kept it at that. did not actually give those symptoms any validity. basically just implied I was listing things #just. becuase?#some shit was just blatantly wrong like claiming that I have a variety of interests when I told her outright that I can only be interested #in one specific interest at a time- example being the entirety of last year being only interested in One (1) video game. and this is to such #an extent that it’s difficult to make and maintain friendships because I have no interest in anything else but that One Thing for however #long and won’t care about other things people try to get me into in order to have something in common with me or whatever or just. yeah.#issues.#she didn’t acknowledge the issues I have with low empathy or overstimulation. didn’t acknowledge my history of taking things literally to #such an extent that it has caused problems with people. didn’t acknowledge anything that was self-reported and not being displayed in that #moment right in front of her eyes. it’s just. really really disappointing and. yeah degrading honestly #especially because it took months upon MONTHS to get this fucking appointment #and to just be not listened to and dismissed.#anyway. yeah I’ve also just only ever had really shallow relationships with therapists (at best)#and have never felt helped by them or like they ever put in much effort to try to Get to me so to speak. only my psychiatrists have #been open minded and Listened to me. but they were always residents so they’d leave in a year or so. I don’t have one at this point.#kibumblabs

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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years ago

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also a special shoutout for real like wendy epic ableism moments when she stops talking directly to winston and expresses this is b/c he communicates too incorrectly (here too literally or whatever, once again whether he misinterpreted her or she misinterpreted him, it's put on him) and thus he doesn't deserve that

#winston billions #and i mean handshake with how winston's basically not considered allowed to talk at all by anyone out here #but like. alright we're not showing that winston is in the room mostly for a joke but even randos are like ''hmm. bit impolite'' lol #but once we do see him b/c he's speaking....like actually it Is heinously rude / diminishing / infantilizing to be spoken to indirectly #and The Behavior Is Inherently Ableist Here like ofc it's probably rude no matter what outside some kind of rly specific contexts lol but #that here she Is just implying he doesn't get to be spoken to b/c of some shortcoming / assumed lack of capacity #whatever she Does mean by ''see the matrix'' which is nothing but convenient vagueness abt Ability anyways #he's only here b/c she thinks he's annoying or w/e or otherwise extrinsically showing lack of value (can't be ableism there....)#and like winston and any other character is like. it's not textual sure but it doesn't need to be Textually Labeled #and sometimes can't be when ppl absolutely write based of ppl they know / encounter but don't know are autistic or etc #and that's how it works irl too. someone being Officially(tm) Autistic or smthing shouldn't be some necessary disclosure #b/c it's about The Underlying Principles At Play vs making some approved ''exceptions.'' if he's supposedly allistic it's still sm shit.#like how trans ppl & transphobia could exist prior to those terms even existing to be used. ppl are affected by them w/o being Out....#& btw like ppl still saying some shit like ''some autistic ppl will just be Bad At / Have No Social Skills & you have to be chill abt it''#like what does [social skills] mean here. what's the underlying element of socializing that they may do differently but you say is a Worse #or Absent version of the ''normal'' way of going about things. even if you actually get specific enough abt what a ''skill'' is; which is #gonna be a non universal non rule probably inaccurate idea of a Normal(tm) pattern of behavior/approach; sure maybe some ppl will struggle #to do that or largely/entirely not be able to do it / be unwilling to do it; gasp; what's its goal/effect & do they pursue/achieve that #another way. e.g how much AAC could be considered inherently ''bad'' re socializing or a lack of w/e ''skills'' or etc.#then like ok so once again a begrudging exception for autistic ppl is made. what's ''being okay with'' that even look like then? is anyone #gonna be using their ''good social skills'' to more successfully interact w/them? is Not socially excluding / ostracizing / punishing an #autistic person an Exception / something Extra you heroically do? e.g. & so what if some theoretical person isn't socially engaging w/other #ppl in any way. what do & don't they ''deserve'' differently from others b/c of that.#& anyways meanwhile they're certainly talking abt winston's Capabilities. but mostly talking around it b/c the point is He Gets Results &#will keep getting those results b/c why wouldn't he. but they can just cite anything to argue why oh but he doesn't Really have the value #cue vague shit like matrix refs b/c if he was Reeally talented we'd think he acts right. b/c Any bs can be said b/c winston doesn't have #the insulation or backup or ability to independently wield/gain social status his way through this shit. is only allowed to talk to #coworkers abt it by making it abt taylor actually (which is also true). still only makes it b/c rian is correctly remaining in the #acceptable range of being offbeat. so she already has more power than him & can choose to keep him around as that fun punching bag ig yay #then nobody cares. also he can't say he controls an instrument but Others refer to ''genius'' but negatively. wendy rhoades Would do ABA fr

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roseband · 1 year ago

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i am obsessed with the second teaser for only for a moment i'm going to be insufferable when this song comes out in less than a day lmao

#personal #i am also going to be insufferable when dual comes out lmao #the little teaser of cosmos sammy gave???? omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#im sooooo glad i'm going to two stops of the tour for eric even if i get stranded in connecticut and gotta take an uber #wait i'm gonna have two signed posters i guess i can sell one????#i am literally seeing eric nam 4x this year this is .....not normal human behavior #(but the samsung concert and q&a were free..... only cost me a sunburn lol)#one of my coworkers was talking abt how her mom was when michael jackson died #and i was like... oh i'm not looking forward to barry manilow cause he's like 81 and my mom's seen him 150+ times #and she just looked at me like 'uuhhh is fangirling genetic or learnt behavior here' LMAOOOOooOO #my mom's seen 3 barry manilow concerts this year and is probably going to a fansign tomorrow morning lol

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straight4joekeery · 2 years ago

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I know I say I love you guys but you don’t know how much I mean it. These random people compliment me and I’m over here blushing like a 6 yo who’s crush just brought them a Barbie dream house. Anyways yeah basically if you compliment my work I automatically have a big fat crush on you and swoon every time I see your name.

#so far there’s about 5 tumblr people who when I see their name I stop everything to see what they said #if you see this hiiii #don’t be weirded out by me now #I swear this is normal behavior for me #I have a crush on all of my friends #my situation ship is aware of this #ew I just realized how millennial the term situationship sounds #I’m sorry #I’ll never say it again #also is this normal?#do y’all get crushes on stranger or do I need more meds?#istg i over share on here but idec at this point #anyways #that’s it #no notes tags so only the people I’m speaking of will see this 😘

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hibiscus-ships · 1 year ago

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Also, about internet arguments: 90% of the Super Important Discourses™️ on this site are just toxic, non-constructive slap fights that literally do not matter outside of niche Tumblr communities. You do not need to take any sides or make any statements on the topic of the week to reassure others that you are morally upstanding and good. Refusing to engage does not mean you're secretly evil and disgusting. You are fine 💕

This link to the International OCD Foundation page and this link to a longer three part blog series from Sheppard Pratt both discuss a specific presentation of OCD called moral scrupulosity. Please give them a look if you've noticed that you regularly struggle with what's discussed in this post.

so so genuinely you guys have got to be more aware of OCD symptoms because hypervigilance in online communities worsens them so fucking badly. you won't go to hell bc you have an ao3 account or you don't wanna reblog shit that makes you feel bad or fuckin whatever. you're not Ruined if you occasionally hear a song by someone who kinda sucks and don't change it. like. you're fine

#other people's stuff #rent lowering gunshots #ngl I have seen behavior here that is downright concerning as hell #it is just not normal or healthy to constantly be ruminating over whether you're truly Good and Safe #or whether you are only coming into contact with Good and Safe material

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lith-myathar · 1 month ago

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disordered eating talk in the tags

#disordered eating cw #so like i did a stupid and took my meds this morning without eating breakfast and about mid morning #i had too much water and got super nauseous and had to throw up #and i realized that i still have a weird THING around purging #i don't feel like throwing up is an experience that should engender a sense of comfort in a person but it does in me #like i didn't even have anything in my stomach it's not like i had binged or whatever #but just the purgative act in itself feels GOOD to me #like a relief #kind of brings to mind how in my most stressful/mental breakdown-y times or during panic attacks all that's ever clear in my mind #is a desire to throw up. to just get this horrible feeling i can't process out of me #and i think it kinda speaks to how much food and eating or not eating or *purging* was how i found control and a sense of stability #having ednos is irritating bc it basically means you did a little of everything and none of those individual things ever got really dramatic #so it wasn't exactly noticeable but it all adds up into a pattern of behavior around food that's just deeply dysfunctional #and getting people to take it seriously is really difficult bc so many of those behaviors are normalized #but all those little behaviors were how i took back control. i would spite the people around me who policed my body by binging #i would try to control how i felt about myself (and how other people saw me and treated me) by restricting #and when i felt out of control i would take it back and reground by purging #so even now if im stressed out (which i am lately) it feels comforting and grounding to purge #even if im not doing it on purpose #which is....fucked tbh. i guess on just a primal level it makes some sense bc that's how our bodies protect us from things we've ingested #that could potentially harm us. so of course there's some relief around it. but im not eating anything that will hurt me #it's all just shame and terror and feelings i can't express and wanting them OUT #thankfully it's not something ive ever done chronically bc the stigma against EDs in my house growing up was also high #and if i didn't throw up or totally starve myself it was just dieting right? i would only half starve myself #and i would only throw up here and there. as a treat. once or twice isn't an eting disorder surely?#i just really regret how much ''bad'' food i just ate and i want a do over. it's not disordered if it's just this one time #this is a special circumstance and I'm Different #goddddddddddddddd #what's wild too is i can look back on this stuff now and see it for what it was but to most people none of that behavior #would ping as a Real Disorder

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