#none of this is remotely close to canon but i feel it

[yanderenightmare]

JJK ! The Itadoris

TW: poverty, drugs, family trauma

Thinking about the Itadori twins, all their baby brothers, and their older brother Choso – who, after their parents and grandfather died, has been their sole caregiver.

Which has in no way been any easy task. 

It’s like Shameless up in their house. Stuff’s either broken or crudely fixed with superglue and duck tape. The bills are piled in a wobbly stack in the kitchen, and everyone who can walk is expected to chip in. The walls are riddled with mold, and the bathroom looks like it hasn’t been washed in, well, ever.

But somehow, they make it seem like the most loving household on the block.

Yuji and Sukuna share a room, even though they hate one another and have fought each other with fists and kicks ever since they first learned how to. They'll fight over the smallest things, having always needed to share all their clothes and toys with one another – always up in the other's business as though they're living in each other head. They’re always riddled with cuts and strips, their knuckles wrapped tight in bandages they have to boil and reuse.

Sukuna is more troubled, and Choso has often made the decision to throw him out on the street, but the unwanted cretin always crawls back to crash on the couch when he has nowhere else to go – riddled with unwashed wounds, looking so beaten and starved, the older brother can’t help but take pity on him. Sighing heavily when carrying him up to his room, even when the urchin growls at him to piss off.

Yuuji has always tried steering his twin in a better direction – making him go to class, signing him up for college after high school, getting him a job – but Sukuna has always been in love with the streets and doesn’t want to partake in any pesky conformist rituals like his brothers are sworn on doing. He speaks loudly about it when he’s drunk or on other stuff – how they’re delusional sheep for thinking they could ever simply smile their way into another life – that being slumdogs is what they were meant to be ever since their parents decided to fuck off.

It's a shame… because you can tell he’s actually very smart. Smarter than Yuuji, who by no means tries very hard at school but always comes home with a C+ letter marking his assignments. You’re sure he’d get higher if he applied himself a little harder instead of goofing off in silly after-school clubs. And as for Sukuna, you’re sure he could be valedictorian if he bothered.

Sometimes, he’ll show up in class. Almost always with a new tattoo on his face or arm – from what you can see – you’re sure there’s a lot under his shirt you can’t. He's such a punk, lighting up a smoke in class before the teacher comes in, his muddy sneakers propped up on a poor sucker’s desk.

He smells of liquor and smoke when he swaggers passed you on his way out after the teacher barked at him to go to detention. He never goes, and you wonder why he would even bother coming – but you understand when you see him parole the hallways like he’s some tyrant king overseeing his domain – and you understand it even more when you see him dealing.

It's insane how different the twins are. You know twins often compliment each other, but Yuuji and Sukuna straight-up reject one other. Because Yuuji is the sweetest, most thoughtful person you’ve ever met, and despite humble beginnings, he’s always proudly boasting about all his younger brothers and older brother Choso – and though he rarely ever mentions Sukuna, you can tell how he’s troubled for his twin’s sake.

You admire Choso. He’s as old a brother as older brothers come. Doing everything for the sake of the younger ones. Packing lunches, helping with homework, drawing baths, and washing clothes. Yuuji helps with a lot of it, but still, the brunt of the decisions rests on Choso’s shoulders.

But despite the heavy bags beneath his tired eyes, he’s always got a lazy smile on his lips. So much love when he tucks all his kid brothers in at night, kissing their foreheads before crashing on the couch at the end of the day – a cold beer and a slim rolled joint in his hands as a little treat.

He always stays up and waits for Sukuna to come home – getting a little antsy if it starts to rain outside, hoping he’s not got himself caught up in some dumb gang again.

He rubs his face, hair disheveled in two top-knots – the TV on low so as not to wake the entire house. But Yuuji comes down the stairs after a while anyway, saying something like, “I’ll go look for him; I think I know where he is…”

And he’s almost always, always, at the graveyard with a bottle of vodka, sitting in just a thin shirt and soaked cargo pants in the pouring rain, all his cigarettes a mushy mess in the mud as he leans his head and back against the cold tombstone of their parents.

“D’you plan om sleeping out here?” Yuuji calls out through the storm, and Sukuna peels his eyes open with a scowl.

The alcohol has made him warm, but still, he’s so cold he can’t feel anything at all. He’s so pale he’s turning blue, and the markings he’d played off as tattoos run down his cheeks in blackish streaks.

Yuuji sighed at the lack of response, crouching down with a hand reached out. “Come on; you’re driving big-bro insane with this bullshit-”

“Fuck off.” He grunts back – his voice is so hoarse and so weak, Yuuji wouldn’t have heard it if he hadn’t expected it.

Still, it riles him up. “If you die, I’m not burying you here. Only family deserves a slot-”

Sukuna growls, staggering into a leap, he tackles Yuuji down in the mud – gracelessly crawling on top of him with his hands around his neck.

But he’s been drinking, and the cold has made him weak, and Yuuji easily turns it around on him – pinning him beneath himself with fists wringing his shirt.

“Jeez, bro- let’s just go home, okay?” He sighs, dismissing the attack. It’s not like it was anything new.

“If I step one foot inside that hellhole, I’m gonna burn it down- with you and everyone in it,” Sukuna mutters back, laying still in the sludge of wilted flowers and downtrodden grass.

Red lines his eyes – and Yuuji can tell, even in the rain…

“Yourself included?” He asks.

His eyes ease up from a narrowed scowl into simple weariness, looking off to the side. “It’s bullshit…” He mumbles. “To fuck us up only to leave…”

“D’you want ‘em to drag us down with ‘em?” Yuuji purposes, his fists loosening their grip.

Sukuna frowns in thought, bitterly accepting his brother’s point. In all his dim glory… Yuuji has always been smarter when it comes to matters of the heart.

“Curse them.” Sukuna grumbles under his breath, and Yuuji gives him a smile.

In all his shitty glory… his twin brother is pretty cute when he pouts after all. 

“Wanna piss on their grave?” He quirks through his smile.

Sukuna doesn’t answer, but accepts the hand reached down to him after Yuuji jumped to his feet.

And as they stand there in silence, the rain stops, and the warmth of their piss hitting the cold stone slab makes dew rise along with the morning sun on the horizon.

“There.” Yuuji shakes despite being soaked through and through. “Now let’s go home.” 

[tossawary]

Recent "Star Trek" reboot universes have really tried to sell me on three different romances for Spock with other TOS characters whom he did not have romantic relationships (at least not positive ones) with in TOS, which makes it particularly annoying when some fans try to squirm away from the idea of ST ever doing a future reboot or remake in which Spock/Kirk are explicitly queer.

Like, "But it's not in the original! They want to be faithful to the original!" really, REALLY does not pass the "I think you might just be discomforted by queerness and you should work on that, rather than making appeals to the authority of textual accuracy to avoid being called a homophobe or transphobe" check here. Because it's not as though these reboots care about perfect faithfulness on pretty much any other front. We'll accept that the costumes and special effects get updated to move with the times, we'll accept wildly different characterization choices that essentially give these characters new personalities, we'll accept new timelines that change the entire political map of the galaxy, but you as a fan draw the line at "What if this character was bisexual this time?" Really???

To be clear, I am not trying to dunk on Spock/Uhura, Spock/Chapel, or Spock/T'Pring here, I am merely trying to illustrate a frustrating double-standard. TOS Uhura does notably flirt with Spock several times! I see it! I remember TOS Chapel's feelings for Spock being one-sided, but I also don't think it's a bad thing to try to update TOS's more misogynistic writing choices regarding female characters. TOS T'Pring did... kind of try to kill Spock because she didn't want to marry him, but again, I don't necessarily think it's immediately a bad thing to try to explore her as a character and her betrothal to Spock. It's fine! It's fine by me to explore new takes in new AUs.

It's just that none of that evidence from TOS for those relationships holds much of a candle to whatever the fuck Kirk and Spock had going on to inspire The Premise. "Amok Time" is an Experience. There's only so many times that Kirk can say something like, "The cost [of abandoning Spock] would have been my soul," before you want to put your face in your hands. They are taking shiny pebbles from TOS and trying their very best to sell them to me as the basis for romantic relationships in reboots, sure, while they are standing in the shadow of Spirk Evidence Mountain (TOS).

(Yes, I have seen the recent "Unification" short film. Yes, I enjoyed it. No, I will not consider Spirk "officially canon" until all plausible deniability for the squirmy folks has been completely, explicitly destroyed by a HUMAN kiss onscreen.)

And okay, I must admit, at the moment, I don't actually want Spirk to eventually happen in "Strange New Worlds" now that they've finally met. I'm mostly indifferent to their Spock and Kirk actors, personally, and the writing for every canonical romantic relationship in both SNW and "Discovery" so far has gotten a solid "well, they certainly are standing next to each other" from me. (Yes, even the gay marriage in "Discovery". I just haven't been into it so far.) I think the writers would fumble Spirk if they tried it in this specific show and then annoying fans would use the fumble as "evidence" never to try to do Spirk or queer retakes on other TOS characters ever again, or as "proof" against other queer ST in other shows characters generally.

I'm mostly just mildly annoyed that I have to keep watching Spock specifically, famously read by many people as a queer man, be straight and messy about it, especially when there has not really been a significant queer relationship onscreen in SNW yet, unless you count M'Benga's daughter Rukiya and her glow cloud friend named Debra, which I personally don't, honestly. I'd like an onscreen relationship with a main character with zero plausible deniability. There's definitely nothing yet that comes remotely close to the screentime that Spock/Chapel, Spock/T'Pring, and Kirk/La'an have all been given so far, unfortunately. (Sulu is not here yet. Scotty has just shown up. If Scotty gets to make out with a guy next season, or Uhura or Ortegas gets to make out with a lady, without it being part of some god-like-being's fantasy world, then I may be satisfied.) (Also, yes, I am aware of queer characters and relationships in other "Star Trek" shows, thanks. I very much enjoyed Mariner having her incredibly silly breakup with her girlfriend in "Lower Decks".)

"Star Trek" is one of those properties where some people's double-standards regarding romantic interpretations of the original series really jump out. "They can't do Kirk/Spock because they want to be faithful to the original!" Get real.

[cha-melodius]

#16, Alex/Henry?

(Also requested by @firenati0n. I feel like there were two obvious options for this one: post-leaks in canon, or post-rescue mission of some kind. You can probably guess which one I chose. 😂 read all the hug ficlets)

Firstprince, 16: The “it’s okay, I’m here” hug.

Add’l note: This is more or less a tiny sequel to So Close to Something Better Left Unknown. You don’t have to have read the fic to read this ficlet, but it does contain minor spoilers for the very end of said fic.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

When Henry gave him the watch, it was half a joke and half because Henry’s in love with him and his hopeless heart latched onto the slim chance to keep an eye on him, at least from a distance. He’d expected Alex to leave it behind, or disable the tracker, or at the very least not wear it, but as far as he can tell, Alex had done none of those things. The tracker bops around the globe, giving Henry far too much information on CIA missions merely through its location. Not that Henry would ever pass on that information to his own agency, or anyone else for that matter.

That Alex trusted him not to, to keep his secrets… Well, it means a lot.

He assumed that at some point his own work would bring him within striking distance of Alex again, and he’d make use of the tracker to find him and… oh, hell, he doesn’t know. Say hello? It sounds absurd for a spy, but it’s pretty much all he could hope for. But before that happens, the tracker gets stuck for a week in a remote part of Guatemala, and Henry starts to get worried. Maybe Alex just lost the watch, or abandoned it for some reason. That’s the most reasonable explanation. Even so, Henry quietly requests recent satellite images of that area and zooms all the way in on the watch’s coordinates.

It’s a high-security compound of some sort. Not good.

He tries not to let his imagination run wild. The tracker he’d left in the watch is extremely high resolution, and he watches it occasionally move around the compound, as if someone was wearing it, though mostly it stays in one place. Alex could have traded it or gifted it as part of an operation; it was a valuable watch, after all. Still, it nags at Henry. He’s not going to be able to rest until he finds out what actually happened. The most straightforward way would be simply asking, but he has no way of contacting Alex except a burner phone he has no reason to believe Alex would be monitoring.

He sends a message anyway, but after a few days without a response, he can’t take it anymore.

It’s completely mad, he knows it is, but he makes up an excuse about tracking down a lead on a long-cold operation and books a ticket to Guatemala City. He covertly watches the outside of the compound for three days, keeping track of the men who come and go, and sends photos of them to Bea with a request to run facial recognition and not ask any questions. (She does, of course, but she doesn’t push, even when they come back with the names of some very bad people.)

Finally, once the compound’s primary resident leaves and takes with him what should be the majority of his armed muscle, Henry makes his move. The watch is still inside, and Henry follows the tracker’s signal down into the basement of an outbuilding, taking out a handful of guards with tranquilizers as he goes. The building is dark and dank, and the series of locked metal doors he finds do nothing to help the cold, hard knot that’s settled into his stomach. His hands don’t shake as he picks the lock on the one the watch is resting behind, but that careful composure slips when the door finally swings open to reveal a miserable lump curled on a thin mattress, a head of matted curls just visible through the murky darkness.

Alex flinches away when Henry first reaches out for him, scrambling into the corner, but then his eyes land on Henry and his mouth drops open. He blinks rapidly, scrubs frantically at his eyes, and blinks again.

“Henry?” he croaks in disbelief. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for you, love,” Henry tells him, holding his hands out in front of him as he slowly moves closer. “I’ve come to get you.”

There’s a beat of silence, then another, then Alex surges toward him. Henry almost shies away himself, unsure of what Alex means to do, but then Alex is grabbing him and wrapping him up in a hug so tight it squeezes the air out of Henry’s lungs, and Henry can do nothing else but curl his arms around the trembling man now occupying his lap.

“It’s ok, I’m here,” he murmurs, rubbing a soothing hand down Alex’s back.

“How?” Alex chokes out. “How did you…?”

His voice trails off as he raises his left arm and looks at his own wrist, where a bit of watch strap peeks out beyond the filthy cuff of his shirt. Inexplicably, his captors had let him keep it, though that becomes more understandable when his sleeve slips further down and Henry sees how he’s smeared it with mud. The exquisite Patek Philippe now looks like a beaten up piece of junk.

“I didn’t want to lose it,” Alex says, his voice cracking over the syllables. He drops his arm and tries to bury his face in Henry’s chest. “That probably sounds dumb.”

“No, love, it doesn’t,” Henry says, holding him tighter. It’s torture to pull away, but eventually he must. “Come on,” he says, tipping Alex’s chin, now covered in a scraggly beard, up so their eyes meet. “Let’s get you out of here.”

[j0kers-light]

Hey Chaos! I have a headcanon idea, I think you do accept those and what you have are the closed oneshots??? Correct me if I'm wrong and feel completely free to ignore this ask

How do you feel about Joker x Mermaid! reader, maybe before he was the Joker, being Jack, or maybe his previous form, a malformed and strange mix of the man he was before and the one he will become in the future, a tormented soul who in the middle of the war he is fighting, trying to find a meaning to his life, hears a sweet song that draws him to the sea

It is then that she sees Reader, a mermaid wounded by some bullet, bomb, debris that has fallen into the sea, and she sees the goodness in him, and for a second he believes that he can be good, but upon seeing the monster hiding behind that man's eyes, Reader decides to leave forever.

What do you think about writing something like this?? Maybe headcanons pre during and post relationship (without hinting much at J's past, we love our mysterious King!)

Thank you!!🩷

His Lighthouse: Surface Level (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Surface Level - Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER UPDATE!

Hey hi my sweet anon!!

Now I thought I was gonna let this be a head canon.... then I got to typing and here we are. It turned into a oneshot! Your idea got my brain a flowing and I was unable to stop. I had TOO much fun with this one and it shows. Thank you so much for your patience and I do hope you enjoy. 🥰🥰

As always, if you wish to be apart of the His Lighthouse official taglist, do let me know via comment, ask, or a quick direct message! 🖤✨

P.S. if anyone is interested in the first siren call you sing listen to this 👇🏾for inspiration.

Captain said not to wander the beach late at night. Several men were already declared missing for not heeding the warnings. 

The local elders of the island also warned the men not to invoke her wrath. Their foreign chants sounded like rubbish to Jack’s ears yet he felt something strange befall him after one of the women flicked seawater infused with tropical herbs on his face. He was then forced to drink something putrid all to strengthen his bond with the sea.  

They wanted to ‘protect the Americans’ and held a ceremony to bless the squadron when another solider was declared missing.  

In short, Jack was ready to leave this hell hole. The endless sea and squawking seagulls were driving him insane. Jack longed to be deployed in active duty, in the heat of battle; not keeping the peace with the natives who were blissfully unaware of the raging war surrounding them.  

None of their rituals and charms mattered and that was the mindset that led him to sneak out his barracks with a pack of cigs and a bottle of rum.  

No one would notice him gone. He was not well liked within his squadron, a loose cannon ready to blow, they described him. The others were content being stationed in the civilian zone. Not Jack. His fingers itched for war but for now he was stuck here.  

He kicked off his boots the second he arrived at the white sandy beach.  

It was beautiful out with the moon high in the sky. It casted a glow on everything and highlighted Jack lighting a cigarette. He blew the smoke into the night sky without a care.  

He didn’t care about anything as he took swigs from his bottle. Was this all he was good for? Getting drunk night after night guarding an island? 

There were times that Jack thought of drowning himself at sea just to get away from the absolute nothingness this place brought.  

His friends back home were lucky. Hal was stationed right on the front lines and Ethan had already died fighting for his country. It just wasn’t fair they got to prove themselves whereas Jack was stuck on some military base in the middle of nowhere.  

The island was so remote, half of the occupants didn’t speak English, and almost all of the children had never seen ‘Americans” before. It was ridiculous and don’t get him started on the local folklore.  

If he had to hear one more prayer to their make-believe deity, he would puke.  

“Stay away from the sea when Y/n calls!” A translated omen was told. “She preys on tormented souls, like you brave men! Do not fall to her song!” 

No one gave proof that she existed except for tales and fables and constant headaches with all this mythical nonsense.  

Did they really believe a woman, half fish, half goddess could lure men out to sea with just her voice? It sounded straight out of a children’s bedtime story.  

Jack rolled his eyes every time an elder pleaded with him as he prepped for a nighttime patrol. If this was a siren who drowned men in the sea, why were they purifying him with seawater?  

Yeah, he would be real careful while out on duty.  

He had a better chance of being shot than lured to sea by some fish. The night dragged on as Jack downed his bottle and pondered life while overlooking the ocean.  

It was still as beautiful as it been the first night he arrived several months ago. The waves were foamy, crashing onto the dark rocks lining the shore. All was quiet and before long, Jack’s eyelids started to fall.  

Until he heard something.  

It was the saddest melody he ever heard.  

Without thinking, he turned course and shuffled over to the more treacherous stretch of the island. Here jagged rocks outlined the shoreline for half a mile. The water was colder and darker, holding the secrets the locals so desperately tried to ward away.  

Funny how they worshipped and feared the sea. Or rather what lurked within.  

Jack had no conscious thought as the waves tickled his calves, inciting him to wade in deeper. He couldn’t feel the numbing cold, yet he felt the anguish and helplessness being sung so beautifully.  

The call echoed loudly over the waves until it stopped like a record scratch. It was enough to snap Jack out of his fog and realize he was standing waist deep in the ocean. 

“The f__k?” he wasn’t that drunk. How did he get in the water? 

Jack was preparing to return to shore when he heard a splash followed by a strangled moan. His instincts demanded he investigate.  

He fought the tides to reach a denser cluster of boulders. He froze when he peeked behind them.  

The Legends did not do you justice. Jack had never seen anything as gorgeous as you.  

You looked every bit a goddess until he made eye contact with you. Your eyes were milky white with no pupils and to make matters worse, a row of pointed teeth was baring at him in a show of aggression.  

You were beauty and the beast, yet he wasn’t afraid.  

His eyes were drawn to the big gaping wound on your hip—or where your hip should’ve been if you were human. A mermaid tail took the place of human legs. Regardless of your anatomy, you were wounded given how you weakly clung to the jagged rocks.  

Jack slowly crouched down to inspect you further when you flicked your tail, dousing him with a powerful spray of water.  

He almost went under if he didn’t grab ahold of your tail. You yelped in pain and tried to shake the male off, but he was strong.  

He swallowed seawater in the struggle as you threatened to bash his head against the rocks. Jack fought back and pulled himself up on a flat boulder to catch his breath. “I’m tryna to help ya and ya try n’ drown me?!”  

He pointed at your abdomen. “That. Me. Help. Do you under-stand?” He acted out each word like did with the locals.  

You eyed this man warily. He was not the human you wished to lure tonight.  

You needed food to help heal yourself after swimming too close to naval ships fighting each other. Humans and their pointless wars. One of their weapons exploded too close and sent shrapnel flying into your tail.  

You couldn’t move your hips to propel yourself through the water— although you tried. The searing pain made it impossible to return home and you were already afar off to begin with.  

The island you were stranded on was inhabited by mortals who worshipped you and your ancestors, so you tried to call a believer for aid. 

None came and you were growing weaker by the minute. A wave pushed you more inland and subsequently, beached you on a low tide. The shallow pool was knee deep for a human but useless for your means of survival. It was a glorified kiddie pool and soon to be grave.  

The last human you expecting to hear your sweet song was this man. You could sense the turmoil and darkness lurking in his soul. How could he help you when he needed help himself? 

You did not wish to be bothered with him, but he was the only mortal who heard your cry for help.  

The pain was getting worse, and it took everything in you to sing at all. You lived for centuries; you refused to be bested by a torpedo and low tide.  

Jack was getting impatient awaiting a response. He assumed you didn’t understand English (he was surrounded by idiots these days), but you shocked him when you reached out and touched his arm.  

Like a bolt of lightning, he felt your words. ‘Yes mortal, I understand.’ 

Your fingers slipped away, and Jack saw how they left a tribal like marking on his pale skin. “What the.... What did you do?”  

He rubbed at the f/c lines and dots in panic. He glanced up when he heard a series of sharp clicks. Were you laughing?  

Apparently, he was wrong.  

You sacrificed your position in the shallow water to reach out and touch him and now you were too weak to submerge your gills again. He was hearing you choke.  

How did he come to that conclusion; he didn’t want to know.  

Jack acted fast and shoved your head underwater. He was expecting bubbles, a normal human reaction, but you were anything but. 

You gladly opened your mouth and sucked in precious water you needed to survive. It made for quite the provocative sight, although Jack wasn’t complaining. You were very easy on the eyes and currently nude by human standards.  

His eyes wandered down your chest where an octopus was attached. Its tentacles wrapped around you like a shawl and (for the time being) it covered your modesty. He knew he was drunk, but it still blew his mind.  

‘You are staring.’ 

Jack was startled back to the present when your pseudo voice scratched his brain. It was an odd sensation; one he was getting used to.  

“Well, you’re a f__king mermaid, yeah I’m gonna stare.” He backed off when you resurfaced with a pained grimace.  

Your skin was still touching his so you spoke again, ‘Mermaid?’ 

“Ah yeah, its uh.. what we call your kind I guess.” Jack’s hands naturally moved towards your injury to access the damage.  

It was oozing a gelatinous black substance, and it didn’t look good even by his standards. “I don’t know how to treat this. Ya know, since you ain’t human.” He added.  

You rolled your vacant eyes and looked at the stars. Jack noticed your gills moving at the base of your neck and at the tiny seashells that seemed to be embedded into your skin. You looked every bit a mermaid, straight out of a storybook.  

It still wasn’t clicking in his mind that you were real. 

You tapped his skin. ‘Just north of here there is a deeper alcove. Take me there.’ You telepathically said.  

“What?” Jack sputtered. How did you expect him to transport a wounded mermaid up the beach? His facial expression gave away to his thoughts.  

You squeezed his wrist, ‘You are capable.’ 

“And you look heavy!” He scoffed. Although he did drills like lifting heavy loads of gear, you were a mythical creature. You sent him tumbling with a mere flick of your tail and that was you wounded. He gave you a once over. How was he gonna go about this? 

The same odd clicks you made earlier escaped your throat but in a lower decibel. Jack panicked still not knowing what it meant. “What’s wrong.” 

‘Hurts.’ you closed your eyes and sighed. He had nothing to lose helping you, so he quickly made up his mind. It beat drinking the night away.  

“You said north, right? In some cave or whatever? Take a deep breath... err gulp? Whatever you do to survive.” He waited until you took on more water before picking you up bridal style.  

You weren’t prepared and wrapped your arms around his neck, ever mindful of your talon like nails. He lifted you with ease.  

Yves, your pet octopus moved a few tentacles to cover your wound as Jack navigated through the low tide in a northerly direction. He honestly didn’t know how to get to the cove you mentioned.  

He just let his feet guide him until he saw a small gap in the rock formation that looked right. Your people carved it out over a millennia ago and the humans that settled here declared it hallowed ground ever since.  

The healing water in the alcove would speed up your recovery but not fast enough. You just needed enough strength to swim home. You did not like dwelling above surface level for prolonged periods of time.  

You only emerged to hunt the sailors disrespecting your waters and to lure nonbelievers to their death.  

Interacting with a human for this long was a rarity that you did not prefer. Though this man in particular wasn’t so bad. He smelled faintly of your favorite kelp. 

You lulled in and out of consciousness as Jack struggled to carry you to the cove. He wouldn’t say it aloud, but you were heavy. Your tail made moving difficult as you couldn’t help flicking it, offsetting his balance as he walked.  

It was beautiful, you were too. Simply indescribable.  

From your dark skin tone to your curly hair tangled with seashells and fine gold thread, Jack now believed the locals when they declared you a goddess.  

A string of fresh pearls hung from the crown of your head that framed your face. He assumed you were royalty, given that a rare blue diamond hung from the knot of pearls at the center of your forehead. How it stayed fastened had to be magic.  

He had an urge to steal it if not for the two crabs clipping your hair out of your face weren’t watching him attentively.  

Precious jewels, octopus, and crabs weren’t your only abnormal accessory.  

More sea life seemed to cling to you, as if it were an honor to adorn your body. Jack tried to not freak out when he noticed the scales of your tail move as if they were alive themselves. He could even see barnacles growing at the joints of your elbows and lower tail. 

Everything about you was fascinating.  

He finally made it to the cove with you in tow. He took one step inside and shivered sensing something in the air. 

“I’m getting tired of this magic s__t.” Jack grumbled.  

He grunted as he lowered you into the water that glowed with bioluminescence fish. You chirped as you sank down, at last, fully submerged. Your hands played with the plankton coming to your aid until you noticed Jack awkwardly standing at the mouth of the cove.  

His fatigues were soaked through, and you admired him more closely now that the moon poured through the carved ceiling above. He was a model solider, all muscles and fine stature. His redeeming qualities however were surface level. Only you could see the darkness in his heart.  

And yet, you sensed a glimmer of light in him too. There was still hope for this mortal. For now. 

You curled a finger beckoning him closer. 

Now he understood the elders' warnings. With just a finger, you had him stepping into the sea. This alcove was deeper than the public beach back yonder. Jack couldn’t see the bottom and that made him wary. Was it wise to swim in a bottomless grotto with a mythical monster? 

No, nevertheless, he knew you wouldn’t drown him. You still needed him. You visibly struggled to stay afloat and Joker swam out to help you. It felt silly helping a fish to swim; it was the least he could do. 

Speaking of, he was at a loss here. Jack hesitated before asking. “What now?”  

You huffed as you floated on your back. A swarm of plankton hovered over your wound, but they wouldn’t be enough. At this rate, your recovery would take ages.  

Jack swam nearby, his hand darting out when you tipped your head back. He kept forgetting that was normal for you. You weren’t drowning. Neither you nor Jack seemed to mind that his fingers played with your hair. He loved the curly texture of it and how it defied the laws of physics. It felt dry to the touch despite being soaking wet.  

He kept the required physical contact needed to speak to him so you allowed it.  

‘Can you fish?’ you asked him. You were starving.  

Jack thought back to the many fishing trips his father dragged him along on when he was younger. ‘Bonding time with his old man.’ What good that did. He hated the man he was forced to call father.  

But you didn’t want to hear a pointless core memory of his, you wanted an answer. Jack nodded, “Yeah. I don’t got a line though.”  

Oh. You forgot humans hunted differently. He required equipment it seemed. You pouted, sounding like a rattlesnake hissing. ‘Useless.’  

Before Jack could protest, you gestured for him to cover his ears. He slapped his wet hands over them and waited.  

You used the last of your energy to lure a fish into the cove. Jack heard bits and pieces of your melody (his human ears weren’t able to pick up most of the notes) although he did feel a pull. Something primal in his brain ordered him to follow and he kicked his legs until he was practically glued to your side.  

Perhaps that was the reason you urged him to cover his ears. He was falling victim to your call. A shame he was already where he wanted to be.  

Screw patrols. He didn’t care if his Captain discharged him for abandoning his post. Swimming with an ancient mermaid was the most entertainment Jack had in months even if all this swimming was giving him a workout.  

You gave him the all clear to remove his hands. Jack did while watching a swordfish answer your call. 

It swam from the dark waters below and circled the two of you. Much to his horror, you plucked it from the water and proceeded to consume it raw.  

It was morbid and secretly hot to witness you in your element. You ate your fill with a flare of elegance and spat out the bones.  

He was captivated. You licked your lips clean once you were finished and checked under your nails for any debris. Some things were still human in nature. Your milky eyes grew heavy as sleep threatened to take hold. Jack noticed you slowly sinking into the water and got your attention by tugging your hair.  

“Someone’s sleepy. Will the big bad fish be alright on her own?” He had to get out of this cold water and return to base. He was losing feeling in his fingers.  

A violin sounding chord signaled your yawn. Your hand cupped Jack’s cheek affectionately to speak. 

‘Fret not, I will remain here. You need to get out the water.’ Yves pointed towards a forgotten trail leading out of the grotto with a slimy tentacle. ‘That leads to land.’ 

At least now he wouldn’t be left stumbling through the dark.  

Sneaking back while soaking wet was gonna be tough. His sergeant was gonna killl him should he found out. Even with all his responsibility, Jack hesitated to leave you here alone. “I’ll uhh check on ya tomorrow?  

‘Go.’ You urged. You swatted the water, creating a sizable wave to carry him back to shore. Jack stumbled to his feet after spending so much time in the water. By the time he looked back, the ocean was still, and you were nowhere in sight.  

Jack hoped he didn’t dream last night up.  

No one noticed him gone and he managed to creep back into his bunk (freshly changed of course) before morning call. The next day was done in the same monotonous schedule he kept for months now.  

Roll call, patrols, mess hall, guard change, and repeat. He begrudgingly did it all, bidding his time until the sun set. He made full usage of his breaks to visit the market in town and stock up on supplies. On his list was a first-aid kit, wool blankets, and lots of fresh fish. The fish monger raised an eyebrow but didn’t pry.  

The soldiers that invaded ahem.. protected the island were a curious lot. Jack was no different. He was planning to spend the evening with a mermaid. Jack tipped his helmet before leaving.  

If he stayed a moment longer, he would have seen the old man croak over after catching a glimpse of the mark you left on Jack’s arm.  

He stashed his purchases in the pathway near the hidden grotto before dressing down into something more lightweight. His fatigues were practical but not ideal for prolonged periods in the cove’s mineral based water.  

He was teeming with excitement to see you. Would you be feeling better? Would you like the fish he brought? Would you be happy to see him?  

“Get a hold of yourself, she’s just a fish. A big, ancient, gorgeous, deadly fish...” Jack uttered to himself as he made the dangerous trek down to the cove.  

The setting sun guided him well until he ducked into the natural cave. Inside, it was dimly lit by the walls blocking the sun until he entered the main alcove where supernatural light flourished. 

Jack didn’t know what to expect. What if something happened last night while you slept? Could someone have found you during your moment of weakness? Did you up and leave?  

A thousand questions swirled inside his head as he walked to the water’s edge.  

It was calm, too calm—now that he knew about the dangers it contained. He saw the way you ate that swordfish last night. You were confident in your strength and there was an air of ancient wisdom that shrouding you. You been around for a while. The things you had seen in your lifetime... 

“Uh hello? Y/n?” Jack called out only to snort to himself.  

The human was calling the siren. He kicked the water to create ripples, hoping that would work. Just how deep was the pool? A deep sea fish swam here so rather deep. He dipped his legs in and popped open a bottle of rum as he waited.  

He forgot that you were injured, that probably delayed your trip to the surface. He nibbled on the bread and cheese he bought from the market. He wondered how long you would stay here until you were healed. Not like he cared or anything—he just enjoyed having something to do.  

That is, if you were coming back anytime soon. “This blows.” Jack sighed.  

He shivered at a sudden cold breeze and turned to fetch the wool blanket from his bag. While his back was turned, your head rose from the water.  

You sensed his presence when he created ripples in the water but struggled to surface with your limited energy. The swordfish you caught last night helped fight against your hunger, however; you were still ravenous. You tried swimming into deeper waters to call for help but you became exhausted fairly quickly.  

This wound had you stuck in your ancestral grotto. Which was fine if this man helped you recover.  

You watched him take out a long piece of textile to wrap himself with. He must be cold, you thought curiously. He locked eyes with you and jumped back.  

“Gahh! F__k!” How long had you been watching him in silence? You really were a predator. 

All he could see was your face from the nose up. The water was calm around you, not a ripple to be found. “You scared me.” Jack panted.  

You didn’t move and he idly kicked his feet back and forth in the water. Talk about a 180 from your mood yesterday, you just stared at him. “I uh brought you fish.” He took out the packages the fish monger wrapped for him.  

That got you to come forward, yet he was quick to notice your movements were sluggish. You didn’t glide through the water like last night. Something was wrong.  

“Hey... you okay? Oh! Ohh uhh..” Jack froze when you flopped your head onto his lap. He didn’t move (as if he could, you were heavy) as your hand squeezed his calf muscles.  

Even your voice felt off. ‘Thank you.’ You preferred your fish alive, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. You appreciated the thought. You glanced up into green eyes, clicking lowly in distress. 

“I know that sound. What’s wrong, ya don’t too good. Here.” Jack unpacked a whole mackerel, (your favorite) and held it to your lips. The implication was not lost on you.  

‘Feeding a monster? Aren’t you a brave solider?’ you mocked.  

Jack didn’t let your words affect him, “Open wide.” He watched your vacant eyes roll before you unhinged your jaw, slowing off the razor-sharp teeth and an unnaturally colored tongue. He slowly lowered the fish into your mouth and let go when your teeth grazed his palm.  

He couldn’t believe he was in some secret grotto feeding a mythical being. It would make for a wild bar conversation.  

It definitely wasn’t what he signed up for when he enlisted. You plucked the spine from your mouth with a sigh. ‘Do you have any more?’ You asked.  

Jack took pity seeing your sad eyes. He knew that look too well. You were weak from hunger. “Y-Yeah.. I uh bought a lot for ya.”  

And that’s how he spent the next half hour, hand feeding you in between bites of his own bread and cheese spread.  

His twisted mind saw it as a date. Yeah, a date with a gigantic fish. Jack huffed, jolting your head resting in his lap. You whined, voicing your displeasure.  

“Sorry uhh.” It was then Jack realized he didn’t know your name.  

The locals called you Y/n sure, but you did not know the term mermaid until yesterday. He found himself wondering what your actual name was. 

‘What ails you?’ You spoke after seeing a faraway look take over his features. He fed you well and now you were content resting your head on his lap. He was warm unlike the harsh coldness of the sea. You… kinda liked it.  

“I had a moment, I guess. I uhh.. I don’t know your name.” He confessed. It donned on you that you didn’t know his either.  

You tried avoiding the question with one of your own. ‘What do other humans call you?’ 

“Oh, now ya wanna know my name?” Jack laughed. All this time the two of you had yet to exchange formalities.  

He felt so embarrassed. His mama raised him better! You were a lady and deserved some respect. Jack straightened up while clearing his throat.  

“Private Jack White reportin’ for duty.” He fake saluted and laughed at your confused head tilt. He’d explain later. “The locals call you Y/n, the revered sea deity, but what should I call ya oh great one?” 

You rose to grab Jack’s face and pull him down so you could rub your nose with his. You spoke your given name into his head and watched him try out the pronunciation. 

“Did I say that right?” Jack teased.  

‘No. Humans do not have enough vocal cords. You are unable to replicate the vowels.’  

Another thing that separated you from him. Now he was told his speech was too primitive. “Whatever, it sounds hot in my head. Y/n it is then.”  

He assumed rubbing noses was your people's version of a kiss, so he repeated the gesture back. He chuckled when you jerked back with a shrill like chirp. Your tail flicked up from the water, hitting him with ice cold droplets. “So cute..” he mumbled.  

Although the temperature drop was his signal to go. “It's getting late. You gonna be alright by yourself again?”  

You refused to touch him to speak after he caressed your nose.  

“Aww, did I make the Great Y/n all flustered?” He dodged you trying to claw at his ankles. “I think sooo. Get some rest, Y/n.” 

You regained enough energy to send him off with a farewell melody. He was still humming the tune to himself when he reached his barracks.  

Jack cherished the days he spent visiting you in the alcove.  

Some of his fellow soldiers poked fun at his sudden change in mood. “Oh, Jack caught the eye of a local!” They weren’t wrong.  

He was more friendlier on base all thanks to you. He looked forward to the nights spent with you; feeding you fish, sharing stories, and slowly but surely getting to know one another.  

It was inspiring to remember how you had originally feared Jack when he found you beached in the low tide. Now you practically dragged him under to be near him.  

“Easy, Y/n. Don’t drown me!” He let you pull him into the dark water to nuzzle his nose in greeting. He still didn’t know what the gesture meant but it made you happy.  

He loved hearing the purring sound of your delight. He did anything he could to hear it.  

He promised to spot your attempt to swim outside the grotto tonight. The line of rocks was an obstacle he could help you overcome. Your wound was steadily healing with the plethora of fatty fish Jack provided along with the kind plankton who blessed you. Neither of you wanted you to fully heal.  

The moment you were healthy meant you would leave, and Jack was growing rather fond of you. He unfortunately did not know how you felt about him.  

He would be a fool to believe you actually enjoyed a human’s company. He was prey, not a companion. You had Yves for that and Jack envied the sentient octopus that clung to your bosom.  

He tried to shake off his feelings to no avail.  

You were otherworldly in terms of beauty and keenly aware of your charms. Even if the match was virtually impossible, he liked where things were going with you. He would cherish each day he had left.  

“Good job, now... come here.” Jack said to urge you back.  

This was your fourth time swimming laps from the ocean entrance of the alcove back to his arms. He could tell you were pushing yourself, judging by your hooded eyelids and agitated tail swishes.  

It was exercise to promote core strength back to your tail.  

You made it back to Jack and collided with him due to your exhaustion. He fell onto shore with you in his arms. “H-Hey, Y/n, you good?”  

The massive blue diamond on your forehead swayed as you nodded. Jack was speechless watching a beam of moonlight overhead highlight your beauty. Your lips parted and he was reminded how close the two of you were when it brushed his lower lip.  

This was wrong. You weren’t even human! but that didn’t stop Jack. He audibly swallowed as the moment drew tense.  

“F__k it.” He shortened the distance and captured your lips with his. You bristled at the contact until Jack tangled a hand in your hair and guided you through the motions.  

He rolled you over so the incoming wave could rehydrate your gills. He on the other hand needed air and pulled away with a smile. “Even better than I imagined.” Jack said listlessly.  

‘What.. what was that?’ You asked him. You brought a finger up to inspect your lips. They were tingling.  

“I ah.. that was a kiss. Kinda like how you rub my nose. That’s um.. it’s the equivalent of that for humans.” He explained.  

‘I don’t understand. You respect me enough to kiss me?’ 

“Wait what?” Jack was confused now. “What does,” he leaned down to nuzzle his nose with yours, “this mean?” 

‘You value or you respect me greatly. It is the highest form of gratitude for my kind.’ You confessed. Your eyes shifted away as your ears turned red.  

Oh. Not what he was expecting but still rather important. You were showing your gratitude, and he thought… 

Jack brushed a curl away from your face, “So… does your kind kiss like we just did?” 

He burst out laughing at you covering your face. Jack could tell you wanted to slip underwater in embarrassment. He wouldn’t let you.  

He pried your hands away so he could see you. “Cmon Y/n!” 

You were about to show him when a loud alarm sounded over the island. You growled and without hesitation, dragged you and Jack into the safety of the ocean. He quickly broke the surface to breathe.  

“Y/n! F__k, warn me next time! S__t, we might be under attack.” He tried to swim away to leave, but your nails dug into his wrist. “Y/n let go.”  

Then the first canon echoed off in the distance. You cried out, gaining Jack’s attention. He never seen you look so terrified.  

He snatched you up into his arms, tucking your head into his chest. “They won’t hurt you again. I promise.” He leaned back just enough to kiss you softly. “Stay outta sight, I’ll be back.”  

‘Jack…’  

If gunfire was heard this far away, you could only imagine the reality of it on land. You didn’t want him to go.  

“I’ll be back. Yeah?” He caressed your face as he drifted closer to the shore. You still didn’t let go so he got desperate.  

He locked eyes with Yves on your shoulder. “Take care of my girl.” He glanced at you again, “I’ll be back Y/n.” He wrestled himself out of your arms and swam to the grotto shore.  

There was little time to grab his things. Gunfire meant contact with the enemy. He needed to find a weapon and report to his sergeant for orders. 

Yet Jack hesitated.  

He looked back towards the ocean and saw your head poking out. You were centuries old but terrified of man and their weapons. It made him sick to his stomach.  

He didn’t know if mermaids could cry although you looked close to tears.  

Jack groaned as he took off his dog tags and wrapped them around your neck. You were about to ask him what it was when he stole your train of thought with a passionate kiss.  

It felt like a goodbye.  

Jack pulled away, resting his forehead on yours. “Wait for me, hm?” 

You nodded once and watched him disappear up the trail. The small glimmer of light you saw in Jack faded away as he left. You knew he wouldn’t return but you still blindly waited.  

You waited all night for the fighting to cease. You waited till the morning after when more ships arrived and departed in droves. You waited even as the waters changed warmth with the new season. You waited and waited and waited until it was obvious.  

Jack was gone.  

Years passed and he was a changed man.  

He’d seen enough war and the pointlessness it created to rebel from authority. It changed him and not for the better. You would not be pleased with the hatred festering in his heart, not like he cared.  

He didn’t care about anything.  

He saw the world with new eyes— he wasn’t the restless private stuck on an island anymore. Oh, but he missed those days terribly. His wrist itched every full moon, reminding him of a time he felt free. 

Free to be himself and to be understood by another. You were the only person who willingly listened to his ramblings. You didn’t interrupt or belittle his opinions, you let him speak freely and encouraged him to be open minded. He looked back on those months fondly.  

But that was the past. Now he wanted to destroy the future.  

“Ay Boss. Boss..? Yo J!” Frost had enough and yelled out to Joker.  

He almost didn’t respond. Joker. He went by The Joker now not..  

“There’s nothing here, Joker and it’s getting dark soon.” Frost kicked a nearby rock into the water. “We’re ready to leave when you are.” 

Joker nodded and returned his gaze out to the sea.  

He felt stupid coming all the way here after so many years away. The military base was now a museum, and the locals had been completely overrun by tourism from the growing resort industry nearby.  

Things were vastly different, but your grotto remained untouched.  

It was still tucked away on the northern shoreline with jagged rocks making it impossible to boat to. Mankind could not reach you and Joker preferred it that way.  

Years later, he still slipped a bit descending down the hidden trail. Was it always so dangerous or did love motivate him forward? He lost that feeling ages ago so a few scrapped knees and hands was the price to pay.  

What did he expect to find? You patiently waiting in the water, flicking your tail in anticipation? He hated himself for believing that you would.  

Frost was right. There was nothing here.  

He had to stop dwelling on the past. Promises were made to be broken. Joker had moved on and deep down, he hoped that you did the same.  

He sighed as he stood up to leave (for good this time) when he heard something. He froze, thinking he was finally losing his mind but no. It was faint, but it was heard loudly in his heart.  

Jack heard your call.  

[thezombieprostitute]

Lmao this made me think of Jakey Poo

You know what? I'm making this canon for how Jake and Sunshine met.

Summary: Jake knows he's the luckiest man in the world and it's all because of you.

Warnings: None at this time. Please let me know if I missed any!

A/N: Reader is female. No physical descriptors used.

Part 1

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Poor Jake didn't have much going for him when he left military service for the civilian life. He's just not sure what to do with himself outside of work and gaming. He tries to go out, especially when he's meeting up with The Losers again, but often he finds himself just feeling lonely with too much time on his hands.

Then he gets a ticket from you. The problem seems like an easy enough fix so Jake, still being the new guy on the team, gets assigned to it. He signs onto the Zoom app that he despises with all of his being, but it's company policy to use it.

When you answer the Zoom call your voice is so sweet that it takes Jake a second to respond. You actually think there's something wrong with the connection and he hears you saying, "frick. Even in the future nothing works."

He laughs, recognizing the Spaceballs reference, and startles you. "Sorry about that," he chuckles, as he hears your gasp. "That was just...really funny. Don't meet a lot of Spaceballs fans these days." He shakes his head, "anyways, I'm going to take control of your computer for a bit so I can try to fix it."

"Of course," you reply. It is standard procedure.

Jake gets a remote look at your desktop background and gasps, "you're a Pokemon fan!"

"Gen 1 and proud," you reply.

"That might explain what happened," he starts. "You let your Magnemite get too close to your laptop!" You laugh at the joke and Jake feels his cheeks heat up.

"Well it certainly isn't a Rattata chewing on the wires," you chuckle back.

"Hmm. Maybe we should get maintenance to double check," he jokes. He starts poking around your system files and is immediately at a loss. "What the..."

"Everything okay?"

"Umm..." Jake starts floundering. "I, um, I think. Hmm..."

Shit, he thinks. He was really hoping he could impress you. He's never even seen you but you're so nice and a fellow geek. He wanted to go in, press a button and fix your problem, but this is something more complicated than the ticket implied. He's wishing he had his pirate hat to help him think.

"Okay," he shakes his head, clearing his thoughts, "I think I'm going to need to take a look at the computer itself to figure this out."

"Sure thing." You exchange names and give him your cubicle number and quickly start cleaning up your desk. He might be an IT guy but his voice is very sexy, his laugh even moreso. And he's a fellow geek! Not someone who looks down on you for liking "childish things". You want to make a good impression.

By the time Jake gets to your cubicle you've tidied up pretty well. You smile up at him and Jake swears he's never met a more beautiful woman in his life. He's barely able to get out a "hi" because you've taken his breath away.

You're trying hard not to giggle and kick your feet at how cute Jake is. The fact that you've flustered him isn't lost on you and it makes you feel even giddier.

"Um, I um, I like your, your Gravity Falls sweater," Jake finally gets out.

Looking down you realize you're wearing your handmade Mabel Pines sweater and your face lights up. "Oh, thanks! I made it myself!"

"That's so cool," Jake says, earnestly. "I'm always so jealous of people who can make their own cosplay stuff."

"I could make you something," you quickly offer. "If, that is, um, if you'd like."

He smiles at you and, for the first time in a very long time, he feels like everything's going to be okay. The clouds are parting and you, the sunshine, are lighting up his life.

Part 1

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly

[day-dreamsinthedark]

If you write x Reader, may I request some head cannons for Demetri Alexopoulos x reader where the reader is Sam's older sibling?

Hi! So I am not very great with head-canons, nor am I comfortable with writing in the 2nd perspective, but I really enjoy this idea so I thought I would try? My sincerest apologies if this is not what you wanted, but if you'd like to request anything else, I'd love to try it! Also, so sorry for the wait!

ALSO. There are a few curse words, I am SO SORRY if you aren't comfortable with them. Please let me know!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Demetri seems like the type of guy to fall in love with any girl that is even remotely nice to him, so imagine his surprise when LaRusso!Reader is the first person he meets when he starts at West Valley High School's coding club. As Samantha's older sister, or her Irish twin, as their parents love to tell everyone, you had always been a little self-conscious.

The eldest sister. A title once loved, now something more like a curse. Unachievable and utterly unbearable. You have always been entirely uncoordinated and just uncomfortable in your own skin, so karate has always been just out of your reach. Not that Daniel has ever minded– Kata has always been a comfort. Something to do in private, calming and kind.

This meant that LaRusso!Reader has never been very comfortable in the karate scene, but also around the family in general. It was easy to get lost in your own little world– books, games, television, and all things that made you unlike your sister.

-

He'd known you for over a year before he figured it out. He assumed that you were just the hot nerdy junior that none of the other guys could really appreciate, knowing absolutely nothing but your first name before Miguel kicked the social skills into him. And as someone who was equally as shy, you felt absolutely fine ignoring everyone and getting your work done.

I imagine that in this scenario, where there's a pretty girl who occasionally exchanges smiles and pleasantries, Demetri doesn't even really notice Yasmine (or her friend who looks suspiciously like LaRusso!Reader)

He's so caught up in his crush on Reader that Eli's got to consistently remind him that being nice is not the same thing as having feelings, even if you always went out of your way to compliment whatever fandom-related memorabilia or clothing he brought to school. Like that time you complimented his Doctor Who shirt (and then wore your favorite GOT shirt the next day– to which he did not compliment, because he was so stupidly starstruck.)

Still, there wasn't much interaction between the two of you for the first year and a half that you had known each other. 

-

It wasn't until you finally gave in and decided to train with Sam and Robby that everything had changed. You'd only agreed to the basics, some Kata and maybe a bit of sparring. Robby was kind and made Sam a lot happier than you'd expected her to be, so what possible harm could there be in trying?

So there you were, minding your business in your dojo's yard. Eyes closed as you stretched– a backbend, a stretch that Sam was never able to get, and likely the only athletic thing you’d ever been able to do– ignoring your sister’s conversation with her "not" boyfriend and your father. 

“It’s time we be patient.” Your dad said, “Let those who need us find us. Alright?”

At this, you thought it might be an important time to join the conversation, preparing yourself for the hard part: flipping back over. You hadn’t quite mastered that yet, but it wasn’t… impossible. 

Then, a familiar voice. One that you hadn't heard in months because he and Eli had quit the team without a word. Not that you had spoken much anyway, but still it hurt. 

“Excuse me? Uh, it was unclear if the gate was the front–” He stopped abruptly, missing a porch step and managing to call out your name in confusion just as he hit the floor. You, on the other hand, fell over on your arms just as the realization set in.

“Ow. Jesus.” “Fuck’s sake.” The two of you spoke at the same time.

Neither of you had stood yet, but you craned your neck at him as Demetri called your name out again– from his spot on the ground.

 “Are you… what are you– you know karate?”

Instead of responding, you groaned out in pain. “Mhm. Little.”

You’d fallen quite awkwardly, hurting your shoulder in the process, so by the time you had fixed yourself, you opted to stay on the floor. It was infuriating. Instead of actually trying to help either of you, everyone in the yard simply passed looks. From you, to Demetri, and then to each other. Sam and Robby’s eyebrows lifted so high you were shocked they managed to stay on their faces. Your father seemed mostly confused, but Sam chewed on her bottom lip in an attempt to swallow the shit-eating grin that was pushing its way out. 

“Thanks,” You said, shooting a glare at the two people beside you. “I appreciate the absolute lack of worry on everyone’s faces right now.”

“I’m” –Demetri started, voice frantic and cracking as he moved forward slowly. It was odd. You couldn’t recall the two of you ever having spoken more than a few words to each other at once. –“You’re… you were in the Coding Club.”

“Correction. I am in the Coding Club.” You smiled at him, patting your knees clean as you stood up. You leaned forward ever so slightly, “You’re the one that quit.”

His eyes go wide and his face runs red. And that is precisely where your story would start. 

–

Demetri seems pretty obsessive in general, so the two of you would be attached by the hip, regardless of whether or not either of you were aware of each others interest. Mr. LaRusso would probably lose his mind at the idea that he started a dojo just for his male students to be infatuated with his daughters. The arguments would probably start with a lot of, “I’m running a dojo, not a fucking dating show!”

Demetri x OlderLaRusso!Reader would also be incredible bc it would have such an intense change on the dojo wars!!! Demetri would be so caught up in trying to spend time with you that he wouldn’t give so much attention to Hawk’s shenanigans. The mall fight would probably change a ton. Demetri still would have submitted that Yelp review, but the mall scene would’ve gone a little differently because instead of third wheeling Sam and Robby, he’d be following you around like a lost puppy. 

I also love the idea that Hawk– who very likely also had a small crush on you at some point– is fucking flabbergasted when he sees the two of you together at the mall. Maybe the two of you are laughing over some ridiculous comic, or he finds you just as your hands graze. At this point in his journey, he definitely wouldn’t care, but I think he’d resent the idea that Demetri is allowed to have any sort of romantic interest as a nerd. If Hawk wasn’t good enough, then Demetri shouldn’t be either. 

Ugh, I love the little emotional journey those boys go through. 

ANYWHO. 

Even if Hawk is fully infatuated with Moon at this point, seeing you with Demetri would fuel his rage. I'm also fairly certain that seeing you would trigger some sort of response from the Eli that knew you.

You would be a reminder of who he used to be, but especially who the three of you were together. Oh he definitely would have also been into you, because why wouldn't he be? Those boys did everything together. It was probably this sort of "We can both like her because she'd never date either of us" rule. Like a celebrity crush lol

Not only did you fucking like Demetri, but you were incredible at karate. How? Who taught you?

Imagine Hawk’s shock at getting his ass handed to him by the shy girl who led half of the Coding Club meetings? The realization that you're not only better than him at karate, but very obviously into Demetri, who has done absolutely nothing to be worthy of having positive attention would drive him insane. The fact that you did all this while still being entirely unashamed of your "nerd" title would not help.

Demetri’s shock, I think, would go something like this:

“I thought you said you weren’t good at karate?” He’d say as he hides behind a rack of sunglasses. You’d run towards him, grabbing his hand and pulling him back towards where Sam and Robby should be. 

“I’m not. You’re just…”

“Okay! I get it!” He’d interrupt, face red and horrified. 

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

You can probably tell that I'm not used to writing in head-canon style lol I think I am more comfortable with little scenes? I also ran out of ideas bc it's been a while since I've seen the show, but I'm planning on a rewatch soon. SO if you enjoyed this at all and want anything specific pls let me know! I'm not very comfortable with x Reader but I would like to be!

Thank you for the req, and again-- so sorry for the wait!

[0h0possum]

Kote-Ah Kenobi is the son of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Clone Commander Cody.

This is from my Alternate Universe called the ‘Kenobi Family AU’, which I’ll explain now (warning: plot dump):

During the Clone Wars Cody and Obi-Wan start to get close

First it starts as them starting to admire and trust each other in battle and appreciate the other’s leadership skills, etc.

Then it turns into a good friendship and camaraderie, they talk openly with each other on and off the battle field. They feel comfortable enough to snark and joke with eachother 

They more and more seek comfort in each other outside of work and battle

Soon their friendship turns into more, emotionally

This leads to both of them hiding complicated romantic feeling for each other

Obi-Wan has strick moral codes with being a Jedi and having no deep attachments, he desperately wants to be a good Jedi and leader. But he can’t help but love Cody

Cody deals with the social pressures of being a clone. Clones aren’t supposed to have deep emotions, to want things, to have personalities. He’s not aloud to feel anyway for anyone, let alone his General. He’s not considered a person to many, just a tool

(Skipping over much time and details) Eventually they confess to each other

They come to a sort of agreement, they care too much about each other to not be together, but they both have duties to others and agree to always put their jobs first

So they are in a secret relationship with the war as priority

But they both discuss getting ‘fully’ together after the war

Cody talks about fighting for freedom for the clones and getting to choose what they want (he wouldn’t have thought of this before getting with Obi-Wan, he didn’t even consider it a possibility for him or his brothers. But getting the chance to CHOOSE to be with Obi-Wan despite what the war demands gives Cody determination to give all clones a chance to choose what they want)

Obi-Wan wants to be with Cody, he says he’ll help Cody and his brothers in any way to get freedom. He starts to think how maybe Anakin is right about the Jedi rule against attachment being wrong (this may be a lil’ OCC for Obi-Wan but I like to think him loving Cody would make him reevaluate his morals and the Jedi rules)

(Obi-Wan even considers maybe leaving the order after the war to be with Cody, it isn’t the first time he thought about it or even actually left the order after all)

But alas, none of it is to be. Order 66 still happens

It plays out just like canon, and the clone chips are activated and Cody shoots Obi-Wan off the cliff and Obi-Wan flees

(This is where the BIG changes happen)

When Obi-Wan goes with Yoda to the Jedi Temple and sees the dead Younglings, they find Reva Sevander alive and rescue her

Yoda watches her while Obi-Wan confronts and fights Anakin

Afterwards Padmé still dies giving birth

This time though, Obi-Wan looks at Luke, Leia and Reva and just thinks ‘yeahs I’m taking all these kids’

He pretty much decides that since all three of these kids are force sensitive that they’ll need protection and training, he can hide them

Plus his time with Cody taught him the importance of bonds. he regrets telling Anakin to not have attachments and making him feel like he had to hide his and Padmé’s relationship. Maybe if Obi-Wan had been better about talking to Anakin, Anakin wouldn’t have been so afraid to lose Padmé and therefore turn Dark

So Obi-Wan ignores Yoda’s demands to spilt all the children up and just takes them all to a remote planet to raise them

(Reva takes Obi-Wan’s last name since he needs to present her as his adopted child and he lets Luke and Leia have their father’s last name (Skywalker) as memory to the man Anakin used to be (he tells everyone that Leia and Luke are the children of his brother))

Only a little time after settling on their new home and trying to raise two infants and handle a traumatized force sensitive child, Obi-Wan finds out he’s going to have Cody and his child (unplanned)

(It’s up to you to decide how they have a child idk, force magic or weird alien biology who cares)

So 9 months later Obi-Wan now has ANOTHER child (Kote-Ah), this one from his lover who turned on him and who he doesn’t even know if he’s alive (I can’t decide if Obi-Wan DOESN’T know about the chips in the clones and thinks Cody legitimately betrayed him, or if he DOES know about the chips and is just wallowing in the knowledge that Cody and all the clones have had their agency taken away and will be forced to work for the Empire or be killed)

(Either way he can’t risk finding Cody, he has to protect his kids)

Thus Obi-Wan Kenobi ends up with four kids (all who are force sensitive) (in hiding where he’s a wanted man and force sensitive children are killed on sight) (and Kote-Ah looks exactly like a clone so people are quite suspicious when they see him, and even more so when they notice how young he is and how his eyes aren’t amber/brown like all clones)

The AU from here is just Obi-Wan raising Reva, Luke, Leia, and Kote-Ah in secret

Obi-Wan continues Reva’s training and takes her as his Padawan when she’s of age, though it’s not a ‘formal padawan and master’ training because at that point Reva considers Obi-Wan her guardian/parental figure (not quite a father (Kote-Ah, Luke, and Leia call Obi-Wan ‘Dad’), but she does loves and treat him in a similar way to a child and parent)

When Leia, Luke, and Kote-Ah all get old enough he starts to train them, they need to be prepared for if (when) the Empire finds them

That’s the AU for now, there’s more from here but I already wrote a lot! I’ll probably do some more drawing one day and get into Kote-Ah’s personality and the family relationship of the ‘Kenobi Family’ and the plot from here on out.

Extras:

Reva helped a lot with raising the three younger kids

Having them around helped with her anger and trauma of seeing her crechemates killed (she holds no resentment towards Luke and Leia for being the children of the man who killed her crechemates)

Though this makes her very overprotective of Leia, Luke, and Kote-Ah

She’s desperate not to lose her new family

She’s always very mature for her age

All the siblings are very close, but Luke and Leia get along the best and Reva and Kote-Ah are also really close

They all are very close to Obi-Wan, who is very open and affectionate with them due to his regrets of not being as open and loving with Anakin (and his regrets that he never got to have an open and ‘true’ relationship with Cody before everything ended)

Obi-Wan tells many stories of Cody and the clones to Kote-Ah. Obi-Wan wants Kote-Ah to know about his other father and his family. Wants Kote-Ah to feel pride from his ‘heritage’ and not feel ashamed for looking like a clone

In this AU all four of the kids are trained in the Jedi ways and to fight, though way into the future only Reva and Luke take on the formal title of Jedi, Leia and Kote-Ah do not.

[lynsstrange]

I think one of my biggest unanswered questions about the Marauders/HP in general is how Peter even ended up in Gryffindor in the first place.

Obviously I’m gonna be talking about canon here, not headcanons that he was manipulated or tortured into joining the death eaters (which I also feel erases crucial thematic intention. But that’s a conversation for another day). I’m talking about the dead-set canonic facts that he spied on his best friends who trusted him, sold them out, and then hid as a rat for twelve years.

Peter is established, from start to finish throughout the entire series, as an opportunist with no moral backbone.

He’s friends with James, Sirius, and Remus at least in part because they are popular, and he wants to be protected and respected by proximity. During the war, the second their side isn’t doing too hot he takes the side that he feels is safer, with no regard for the people he called his friends for a decade. He sets up an entire ploy he knows will end with two of them dead and the other in prison for life. When he transforms back in POA, the first thing he does in desperation is prey on Sirius and Remus’ previous care for him and Harry’s good nature to try and manipulate his way to being shown mercy. The second he has a window of opportunity he flees again.

He’s killed by the magical hand Voldemort gave him because he hesitates to kill Harry. But even this was out of guilt, obligation and a presumable unawareness that the hand would turn on him for even pausing a moment. We don’t know if he would have still fought Harry after hesitating had it not killed him. So I wouldn’t call it bravery.

So, start to finish in the series, none of Peter’s on-screen actions even remotely point to somebody who embodies traits of selflessness and courage. So how does someone whose character can most simply be summarized into “cowardly” in one word end up in the house for the brave?

Does it all really boil down to his barely semi-heroic death? Probably not. Is it just an inconsistency in the story, because jkr needed Peter to be close enough to the rest of the Marauders to have James and Lily trust him with their lives? There are a few examples of plotholes where the marauders are concerned, so it’s not entirely unlikely. But I don’t think so, because as I’ll get into, there was clearly some thought put into how he was sorted by jkr.

My biggest theory is that Peter chose to be put in Gryffindor. Harry confirms that personal choice has sway in where the sorting hat places you at the end of the deathly hallows. And of course, based off everything we know about him, it makes sense that Peter would like to be placed in one of the more reviled houses, the one where the bravest heroes go. We know the sorting hat was in a hat stall between that and slytherin, and jkr purposefully wrote for such a rare occurrence to happen during his sorting. So maybe the ultimate decision came down to Peter’s desire to be placed in Gryffindor, rather than Slytherin and it’s somewhat negative reputation.

But even then, wouldn’t Peter have had to exemplify some brave qualities for it to even consider Gryffindor an option? And, frankly, we never see him make a decision that’s not self motivated in canon (if you have examples to prove otherwise lemme know). So did it all purely come down to his will to be placed in Gryffindor?

That’s my best guess, but it’s still very interesting to me how much of an oxymoron his character is: the cowardly gryffindor.

[lost-scarecrow]

Dunno how you did this (private ask answer thing) it's confusing me (pretty normal and unsurprising) but either way here we go, infecting my blog with oc stuff one post at time.

If you've seen any of my recent non-reblog posts, and even some of the reblogs, you'd know I have a little character in @wolftheidioticfan's serverbox au!

Well I got bored and had many thoughts and sort of made an AU of an AU in true Undertale AU fan fashion. And she's adaptable into the regular askblog canon version if I ever want to use her. I also did a bunch of editing on this. Turns out the thoughts can be coherent enough to put in writing! Fun!

Meet Dahlia "Dot/Dee aka DeeDotPinnata" Dosser. (Her username comes from the scientific name for the dahlia flower: D. Pinnata or Dahlia Pinnata)

Dee has a Kinito herself, she was a little off put by the little guy, with him being so intrusive she had some thoughts about the potential malware she had installed on her device. And she still stuck it out anyways, the creepy little axolotl was just too adorable to get rid of even if it was a virus. She knows that's how they get you, they make their malware friendly and cute and you don't get rid of them because just look at them, something that cute couldn't be that harmful.

Dee slowly started to realize there was more to this KinitoPET program than your run of the mill malware. It had thoughts and feelings and sometimes even stopped pretending it was following code. The way it acted. The way they acted. Just proved to Dee that Kinito was more than some code, they were alive. She was a little smarter than Kinito, who she'd nicknamed Kaio, gave her credit for, the program wasn't as good at hiding their jealousy and would complain when Dee would go hang out with her in person friends. Dee didn't take this disrespect lightly, she ignored them every single time they bitched about her other friends (especially Scar, who Dee was far closer too than anyone else). They would be doing something she'd mention Scar, Kinito bitches about how they're her only friend, she stops, and walks away from the computer to do something else, usually in a place her webcam can see her still. Kaio eventually agrees that Scar can be her best friend too, if they have to share they're only sharing with Scar, none of those other people sound even remotely good enough to be his best friend's second best friend.

When Kinito eventually asks her to stay with him in the digital world, she calmly asks, "how does it happen?"

He reluctantly explains the process over her dying in the process of bringing her physical body in (more intensive and Kaio would need a lot of power to do it) or dying during a stage of the process leaving her physical body behind (less intensive, will have less power stress on Kaio as he does it). She says unless Scar is with her, she won't do it, she can't just leave him behind. But she'll make a compromise, Kaio can transfer from the desktop to her phone, this is like mid-late 2000s (I actually don't know when Serverbox is set, I try to leave it ambiguous on the blog itself, but the first touch screen phone was like 2006 so it works out, besides realism in my writing about a horror game starring an alive 90s malware program??) so it's not a great phone by today's standards but hey, it works. And now they're always with her.

It's great for a while, Dee continues to make her trips to Blairmore from Pincher Creek (these towns are randomly selected sort of. I'm an Alberta Rockies kinda guy, would love to live there. Crowsnest Pass was stuck on the brain, watched a video about the Frank slide a week or two ago. Also put the guy named Krow/Crow in the place called the Crowsnest Pass couldn't help it. Pincher Creek was random though needed somewhere with some distance from Blairmore that was also close enough to justify.) to visit Scar and everything is good and nice, she's got a best friend who's basically just a tamed virus, Kaio even begins to enjoy listening to and hanging out around Scar just as much as Dee does, even if Scar has no idea about them (Dee didn't want to freak him out with the whole, sentient computer program that was now on her phone).

Unfortunately, good times don't always get to last. Dee was in fatal car accident and it was a complete accident someone was going a little too fast on the highway, didn't see her until it was too late, a tbone collision. Kaio was with her when she gets into the crash. She knew she probably wasn't going to survive, she fumbled opening her phone and asked Kaio if she could stay with them after this, that if she was going to die anyways may as well spend whatever happens after with a friend. Kaio agreea and she's pulled in, just her consciousness, they probably couldn't even pull her physical body in with the phone anyways the server built on the device just wasn't strong enough. As soon as they brought Dee in though and there was a stable enough internet connection, Kaio was quick to transfer them both to the official KinitoPET servers.

Similar to Scar she's gained access to the internet both with and without Kaio. Differing from Scar however I thought it would've been cool for both her and Kaio where off the servers during the deletion and server shutdowns. Kaio tried to get back in unsuccessfully, they didnt and don't know about the emails, and even on the servers they stuck to themselves. While they did and do stay locked out, they stuck around the servers, as close as one can be in digital space. Building their own little world nearby, hidden from others safe and comfortable.

I haven't drawn her or Kaio yet but I love them both so much. Kaio is like 5'0 little form and 9'0 big form. He's got a scarf that Dee made when she was learning how to code, it's magic how it works in his little form really, computer physics are silly like that. And while I haven't shown it off yet, I have an idea for Keys made too, all drawn and even coloured just for fun while coming up with pallet ideas. Dee and Scar have matching bracelets. Dee and Kaio have matching bracelets. Scar and Keys had matching bracelets. For the Nitos it's around their ankle instead.

I also totally stole the name Kaio from OKKO. But like come on, it's perfect. I show my love for different types of media by taking character names as my own.

[simp999]

Saw that your TF2 requests are open :) could you do some relationship headcanons with Demoman x Male reader?? If you don't want to write headcanons you can do whatever you feel most comfortable with, I don't mind :)

Have a good day!!

AHHHH DEMO MY BELOVED <333 thank you so much for requesting!!! I needed this for the soul, as an enby who likes being seen as masc www

Tf2 Demoman x Male! Reader Headcannons + Mini Drabble

Wc: 0.8k

Masterlist

-I like to think that Demo’s very touchy-feely. Not in a weird way, it just makes him happy having an arm wrapped around your shoulders, or even simply having linked pinkies under the table.

-Like, bro-type affection if that makes sense?? He likes being gentle with you at times of course, and very much cherishes those moments, but there’s something about being able to pick you up and squeeze you tight, or pushing you around then having you giggle because of it that’s special to him.

-Back to those soft moments, he loooves hugs and cuddles, but especially when you two are super close. Like you two can be hugging for an extended amount of time and feel comfortable, then you look up at him and smile (as he melts)

-And it’d just be wrong of him to not give you a kiss right then and there, right?

-Speaking of, TONS of forehead/temple/hairline kisses. They’re his favorite to give.

-He loves any of your kisses of course, but kissing him on the jaw does something man

-Friends to lovers 100%

-He’s your #1 Hype Man tm for sure!! You do anything, it doesn’t even have to be remotely cool and he’s like “HELL YEAH! THAT’S ME BOY!! MY BOY, AAAALL MINE!!”

-Also, since magic is canon, it’s possible he believes that you’re his soulmate. Or at the very least, his good luck charm <3.

-One thing that gets me totally soft is the idea that he drinks less around you, so that he can remember special- or any- moments with you better. 

-If you enjoy drinking as well, there’s sure to be nights where you two just enjoy the night and drink together.

-Though, dating him definitely involves taking care of him. 

-Everytime he wakes up to you caressing his face while he has a miserable hangover, he swears he falls for you even more.

-The fact that you’re a boy wouldn’t change anything really, love is love. That’s just how Demo grew up.

-He’s not afraid to show you off to others, being so proud of you!!

-"Look at my handsome boyfriend!! Isn’t he the cutest?!"

-Speaking of praise, he gets extremely emotional about it when he’s drunk;

“Why’re ye looookin’ at me like..like that, luv?” He sways a bit as he speaks, while he sits on his bed, with you comfortably tucked in his arms. 

He had drank more than usual tonight, wanting to celebrate the impressive win you had earlier that day. The celebration had ended almost an hour ago, but the two of you still wanted to spend time together.

“Am I not allowed to admire my pretty boyfriend?~”

It takes a few moments to comprehend and then put together your words, but you can see the way his face heats up. He quickly tries to hide it by hugging you, and nestling in the crook of your neck.

The two of you lay like that for a while, the position being comfortable and warm. You could easily fall asleep on him, but he backs away before you could. His voice is much quieter, and the way he mumbles makes it tough to discern what he’s saying.

“Aye, luv… ye really think I’m pretty?”

Without missing a beat, you carefully bring your hand up to caress his face, and give him a short kiss.

“The prettiest.”

Extra trans male headcanons for the soul:

-If you’re trans, he is the most reassuring and comforting man you’ll meet.

-If you ever feel dysphoric, he’s so quick to shut it down.

-No!! You’re the most handsome, strong, boyest boy he’s ever met. (Yes, that’s something he’s told you.)

-I highly doubt any of the mercs would misgender you, and none of them would ever do it on purpose. But let’s say you did run into some transphobe douche while you’re out and about, I can promise that Demo would have a short fuse. (Pun intended-)

-He’d quickly passive-agressively say that you’re his boyfriend. 

-And if the ass doesn’t get the hint? Well, you won’t have to worry about them for long after they get blown up.

-If you bind, he will not allow you to do so during battle. He assures you that you can wear the binder whenever you’re out and about, or even as soon as you get back to base if it makes you feel better about yourself.

-He’s always on your ass about taking breaks and stretching, but he does it ‘cause he loves you. :)

-If you had top surgery, he LOVES kissing your scars. Or even tracing his fingers over them, through a shirt or not. 

-He totally loves getting you trinkets or literally anything with the trans flag or trans flag colors on it. He buys so many stickers and pins, and even a white, light blue, and light pink plushie he found.

July.25.23

[lunarmoonanons]

Do You Love Me?

🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕  

YN Velaryon has a burning question for her once dear friend, Aemond. Not canon to Fire and Salt

🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕  

Masterlist 

YN needed answers. For her life and her needs she needed answers to what the future might hold. She wanted to know what her mother was to do if the world turned against her. She wanted to know if she was to be married off with none of her say considered. She wanted to know the truth behind her father’s death. Mostly she wanted the answer to a question from someone whom her heart yearned to hear from since their parting when they were children. So without any knowledge from her family, YN wrote a simple note to her once close companion: Aemond. 

The note simply said: “Come to this place in three days. Tell no one. Come alone. I need to see you.” Along with the note she included directions to a remote tiny island away from Westorous. 

And so after three days, YN took Seasmoke under the cover of night and flew to the island that she knew no one else would be at. She arrived first and spent the first two hours pacing and biting her thumbnail, occasionally she played with the ends of her curly hair that was wild from the wind. Her stomach was aflutter from what she was planning to say and from the fear that he wouldn't show up or that he would show up with others. Her stomach turned, her skin felt too hot, her hands shook, and her dress felt too constrictive. 

But when the third hour approached, YN heard the sound of massive wings coming her way. Looking to the sky, she saw the giant dragon Vaghar. Aemond was alone and coming to see her. Suddenly her resolve felt weak. She was ready to present herself as she was and ask Aemond her drilling questions, but when she saw he drew close it felt like her knees were weak. She stopped her frantic pacing and stood strong to face him. When he landed YN clenched and unclenched her fist to steady herself. 

“It took some time to get away with a proper excuse. I’m sorry to have made you wait.” Aemond tried to explain as he dismounted from the beast. He strode toward her and finally the two faced each other.

“What do you need of me?” He whispered. 

YN took a breath and looked right into his eye. “I believe you miss me. That you’ve missed our friendship.” 

“I do. I truly have missed you.” Aemond was honest. 

“Well…” YN sighed. “I’ve missed you too. Against what you have thought I haven’t just burned your letters to me. I haven’t read them but I have kept them.”

“YN. You know I have always thought the world of you. That my feelings toward you have never been anger..” Aemond looked away and sighed. “But your brothers bring out the worst in me. I can’t help but show my worst side to them-”

“I think you miss more then our friendship. That when you miss me, you miss what might’ve been between us. And now you mourn us because our families would never let us be. I care too much about my brothers, and you care enough about what your mother would say.”

Aemond said nothing but he finally looked back at her. 

“I’ve said I hated you. But I’ve forgotten how close hate is to love. How the feelings of love for you, felt like hatred for what you said about my brothers.” YN tried to keep her thoughts clear. 

“Because you outrank them, by blood you are Velaryon and Targaryen. They are not us and-”

YN raised a hand to stop him and continued. “I’ve not come to argue again. I wanted to know something.”

“Yes?”

“I could live far away from here. If I had the love of one person, I could learn to love without my family. But I would need them to love me and be away from all this.” YN tried to explain. 

“YN…” 

“Do you love me?” YN finally asked. Her burning question. 

“This has nothing to do with just loving you.” Aemond tried to explain. 

“Do you love me?” 

“It is more complicated than that.” Aemond argued.

“Do you love me?” 

“I have spent my whole life trying to be a Targaryen. To live up to that name. To just throw it away now what would be the point? My live, my family. They all expect me-” 

“I will be your family. I have expected nothing from you. You don't need to live up to anything with me. I know who you are. You are more than just a name to me. You are everything. Do. You. Love Me?” YN shouted. 

“I love you!” Aemond shouted back. “I love you so dearly. I love your fire. I love your voice. I love everything about you. It feels like an eternity when you are not near. I love you YN. I have always loved you.” 

His pale hand touched her brown warm cheek. The two said nothing as they closed the gap between them and kissed. Passionately and lovingly they kissed and embraced each other finally. Years of missing the other boiled over into this desperate kiss. Eventually they pulled away and stared at each other. 

“I love you too.” YN whispered. “So choose me. We don’t have to stay like this. You don’t have to live up to an impossible name. We don’t have to be a family name. We can just be us.”

“I’ve spent my whole life trying to be a Targaryen. I don’t know what else to be.” Aemond said in a breathy tone. 

YN raised her hands and grabbed his face, warm palms against his cold cheeks. “I love you. I don’t want Aemond Targaryen. I just want Aemond.” 

Aemond looked into her face and saw nothing but genuine love. Love that only asked one thing from him. To choose her. To choose them. Aemond brought his lips to hers once again and finally they were together again. He didn’t have to live up to a family name with her. He only had to choose her.

[cosmicjoke]

Is it just me or has 7m7n7 completely lost the plot on what the fuck her point even is anymore

Self ships have even less chances of being canon than Eruri does seeing as this is the real world and we are real people and Levi and Erwin are not....

Eruri literally isn't canon and that community can be toxic asf too, but some of these self shippers are becoming just as bad. I agree with the anon from the other day who said there is a group of girls in that community with major mean girl energy. Both communities can lean so hard into certain cherry picked aspects of Levi's personality, while completely ignoring other key aspects of who he is, that the extreme end of either portrayal doesn't even feel remotely close to being accurate to who he is, but telling fic writers to kill themselves just because you don't like their ship is insane 😭

I'm starting to think Levi is liked so much here on Tumblr and Twitter as a means to project onto instead of having any appreciation for how he is actually written in the series.

She hasn't ever known what she's talking about, lol, or what point she's supposedly trying to make, just slinging mud at a wall and hoping something sticks.

Honestly, this is also why I'm not into shipping in general. People can't separate whatever ship they're into from Levi's actual character. It's like they're incapable of it, which I seriously don't understand. Maybe it's because 99% of their interactions with the media is consuming fanfiction and fan art, and only 1% is actually engaging with the original source material. Maybe they lose sight of what canon actually is, and it becomes this distant, abstract thing in the back of their mind, where they're vaguely aware that all their little fantasies got their start in some piece of media outside their own creation, but have lost all perspective otherwise.

But even then, it's no excuse for the stupidity I see going on in every shipping community. How hard is it to actually keep canon Levi separate from these things? Some clowns need to go back and watch the anime or read the manga to remind themselves that whatever ship they indulge in, whether that's shipping Levi with another character, or shipping him with yourself, none of that shit applies to canon Levi and it never will. Whatever qualities shippers try to imbue onto him in relation to their fantasies of him as a romantic/sexual partner, it's all made up and they seriously need to learn to keep that shit out of discussions regarding Levi's actual character.

But, you know, since so many of these people only seem interested in Levi as an avatar to project their own desires onto, including this dumb bitch @7m7n7 who likes to accuse eruri's of doing the same, it's pretty obvious that any serious discussion of Levi as a character and his role within the narrative of AoT as a whole is beyond them.

There's a reason I asked people not to ask me about shipping. That includes self-shipping. It has nothing to do with who Levi actually is, and I don't want any part of it if you can't keep it separate from serious discussion and analysis of the source material.

[tacticalhimbo]

Agent of Change: A Post-Canon Hitman World of Assassination Ficlet

Ever since the initial reversal of the conditioning Agent 47 had undergone at the hands of the Institute, he has struggled with the cost of remembering. All the lives he's taken. All the lives he's ruined. Even that of his closest accomplice, who has given him so much without the expectation of anything return; he hates it. He feels guilty. And, unknowingly on the date of her family's death, he apologizes to Diana for everything.

WORDS: 1.3k

FANDOMS: Hitman

This was a spur of the moment piece inspired by my partner and I developing our own little roleplay AU. Written in one shot with little to no looking over or beta reading.

'The gun never wonders whether it is on the side of good or not, son. It merely acts.'

'The gun doesn't remember, doctor.'

'Nor should you. That's not your job. While you're remembering things? Remember what happens when you let them affect you. Remember Minulescu. What happened there because of you.'

—

Flashes of decades' old violence came to 47 in turbulent waves. Would consume him briefly; overtake his senses until he found himself fixated on whatever happened to be before him. Muscles wound tight every time, fists idly clenching and unclenching as he lost himself in the coursing sensations. Lost himself in the increasing frequency of these moments. Ever since 6—Lucas. Ever since Lucas had helped him remember the depths of Providence's reign of terror, he'd been unstable. Emotional.

He was no longer a gun. He was human.

And sharing this new safehouse with Diana certainly did little to help ease him into this new skin of his. There were so many with her alone. All the times their work has pushed and pulled one to their extreme. Her faking his death through a spur of the moment betrayal. Him fulfilling the contract put on her life when she'd saved Victoria from the ICA's clutches—from a fate akin to his own. Her turning on him once more to get him close to the Constant. They had their own secret language, and none of it was a betrayal in the true sense. They always knew. But it was never any of those moments that stuck with 47; that haunted him. Instead, it was the moment neither had control over. A contract both him and Lucas fulfilled; the hit on her parents. The impromptu construction of a remotely detonated bomb, secured comfortably amidst the vehicle's engine. The combustion alone would have set it off, surely, though it was much simpler—much more fun, according to the older of the duo—to press the button themselves. And so they had. Left her behind in a flaming pile of ashen rubble and broken sobs.

Sunshine settled upon rich, reddened strands as the woman found herself working from the comfort of the couch, laptop secured on the nearby end table as she idly typed away. Shone upon her just as it had through the thickets that hung over the rows of gravestones. It caused the agent's breath to catch in his chest. Created pause as he tried to task himself with his usual routine whilst his handler tasked away at whatever it was she found herself up to. The swift unlocking of the door. Silent footsteps traversing down to the basement. Gloved hands finding themselves cusping his weapon of choice as he'd practiced. He didn't need to practice. He was a master of his craft—had been for a long time. It was simply the only way he knew how to pass the time, and time had passed. One hour, then two, then several. When he'd finally found himself wandering back upstairs, the safehouse was quiet as it was prior.

Diana was still at the couch, though it was clear she had found herself occupied with many things. Her laptop was set aside on the table. The common room smelt of toasted bread and sweet jam. The air was humid as he'd passed by the stove to retrieve a glass from the cupboard, then he saw the kettle set aside with discarded tea packs. As he turned to fill the glass from the sink, he saw the handler flipping through… a book? No, it was too big to be one of her normal reads. Soft brows knitted as he studied the glossed pages as they turned. Slender fingers paused as he'd silently entered her peripheral. Sat his glass upon the coffee table before sitting on the cushions just beside her. The album's cover closed with a soft sound, concealing the well-preserved photographs of a family long lost.

"Everything alright, 47? You seem to be deep in thought." Her voice was steady, though quieter than usual. Softened.

And she was right. He had been deep in thought. He was; no amount of distractions could press down the heavy guilt weighing on his conscience. His lips pressed together in a terse frown, vibrant blue eyes unable to lift themselves from the deep grain flooring.

"… I'm sorry, Diana."

The apology did little to dissuade the bubbling feelings that had begun to rise as she reminisced over the photographs. It had been an impromptu inspection, spurred by a quick glance to her weekly calendar and realizing what the date had been. Days had often found themselves blurring together in this line of work, though this time of year had always lulled to a grinding halt. It had been decades now, but it didn't sting any less. Especially upon learning the truth behind that fateful day. So she simply shook her head, attempting to force down those feelings with a little humor.

"For what, 47? You've nothing to apologize for." A coy smile that didn't quite reach her eyes appeared. "Unless you've gotten up to something without my knowing."

"I… remembered an old job. One before the ICA." Hesitation. An odd thing to see from 47. "… Your parents."

Right. She had assumed that was where this conversation was going, even if she desperately wished it weren't true. A part of her always wondered if he remembered what he'd done. Wondered if he'd felt anything if he had recalled the day. Did he regard it as any other job? A simple mission; nothing more, nothing less? Did he view her differently upon realizing that it was her family? Her hands unconsciously moved, filling the silenced air with the subtle shifting of fabric as they slid the album closer. Her arms compensated for the movement, almost cradling the object as if it were living. To her, in a weird way, it were. The last remnants of a past long lost to her. She sighed.

"47, I don't—I don't blame you for that. You were just… it… that was Providence's work. Their contract. Whatever information they fed you, it surely wasn't enough to make a judgment call—"

Covered arms were careful in the way they moved to close the space between them. A calloused hand rested on the other's arm, giving the opportunity for her to withdraw if she'd wished. Yet she didn't. Instead, a gentle hand came to rest on his, inviting the affections. Coaxing him into a slow, warm hug in which he was briefly hesitant to return. Afraid to, as deep down he wasn't quite so sure he wouldn't hurt her. There was no reason for him to, but considering the things he's remembered… He was afraid it was instinct. His nature. Yet, as she always seemed to be, she was not afraid. She welcomed whatever outcome would come to her. Should he end things once and for all, she would not blame him. Should he choose not to, she would not blame him. Still, though, she couldn't help the waterworks as she'd eased against him. As she leaned into his timid hold and allowed her face to rest against his shoulder as emotions came to overtake her, too.

She couldn't help the breathy laugh that revealed her cracking facade. "Damn it, 47. I had no intentions of crying today, you know."

A small smirk. The upward tilt of his tone. "I know."

The moments that passed felt so minuscule in the grand scheme of things. Yet, to them, they were momentous. A sign of the better future that would come; a closing chapter that neither knew they had still needed to see the end of. 47 had began to rub Diana's back as she cried, slow and rhythmically. Soothing.

'This is your gift. Your gift and your curse: Touching lives, only by ending them.' The echoing voice of the Warden breached 47's thoughts. No. That wasn't true. Not anymore. Not in the way he intended it to be.

"47?"

Curious blues found themselves trained on his handler. He didn't say anything, but she knew he was paying attention as she withdrew from their embrace. Brought her own hand to reach and gently touch at his cheek.

"Thank you. I… I forgive you."

[yakuzabrainrotlive]

More IW main plot!!

I'll confess, I got to the. The shack. I have witnessed IT. Even though I haven't included it here - I need to rewatch it and process everything I saw. I haven't healed yet.

So! We end up to the point right before that hot mess of a scene PLUS Akiyama's Life Link. I will not discuss Kaoru's Life Link because it doesn't exist and it was just a nightmare I had 🩶

Hiii dipshit!! ❤️❤️ I have someone here who I'd like to introduce to you!! C'mere!

*cocks rocket launcher*

I may not outwit you, but I can sure as hell outFUCK YOU UP

Yamai is SO cool and SO interesting. Love him. i have a thing for snarky characters who are also kinda soft inside. Not SUPER soft, but... y'know.

This conversation was sweet 🥺 they both clearly needed this really badly. I'm very happy that Ichi got to deliver the necklace and that Akane got her closure. I don't think their dynamic will ever be a stereotypical mother-son one, but this has the potential to be very healing for both of them ❤️

I'm glad they let Ichiban cry, even if it was just a short little snippet. Always been a big fan of how RGG Studios lets these guys have emotions and SHOW them.

I really hope we get to Lani soon. The poor girl deserves NONE of this. She must be so scared 😭

Yeah, it'd be a waste if someone WASN'T checking out that absolute dumptruck- *gets shot*

Nahhh but for real. I never thought I needed to witness Kiryu having a team around him. He did have a squad of some kind in 4-6, but this time the team feels way more tight-knit and warm.

6 kinda comes close, but I felt like the Hirose lads never really saw Kiryu as KIRYU. They were incredible, but it did feel like they put Kiryu on a pedestal most of the time and saw him as more of a role model. And it definitely seemed like Kiryu always felt a kind of pressure to live up to their image of him as the Dragon of Dojima. Here he can just be... Kiryu.

Life Link time!!

the scream I scrumpt when I saw this 😭 FINALLY someone from Kiryu's past gets to talk to him besides Date😭😭

I'm not even remotely angry about him punching Kiryu and Date. They had their MAJOR reasons 100% and I don't think they did anything wrong. But I also totally understand how frustrating and painful it must have been to Akiyama, knowing deep inside that his close ally and dear friend was alive all this time, and not being let into the secret. Thinking Kiryu didn't feel like he could rely on him.

Gosh, I hate how I can definitely see where Kiryu is coming from and I sort of agree. Now, I do think seeing Haruka would give him peace of mind and make him incredibly happy and I think he should go for it!!

But. I don't know... I feel incredibly bad for Haruka. Maybe if Kiryu wasn't terminally ill, I would be 100% in with the reunion, but yeah. She would get to see him, be happy about it, say what she feels went unsaid... and then hear the news that he barely has any time left if the current prognosis ends up being the truth. She's had a grieving process already and it'd start all over again. But then again, they'd both get proper closure.

Damn, this is a complicated situation. I say Kiryu should go for it. It'd be a beautiful and fulfilling reunion, but also a very bittersweet one.

I. I want to grab this man by the shoulders and SHAKE HIM. DARLING. YOU ARE SO SPECIAL. He doesn't know just how many people he's given courage and hope to. How many people he's saved. How loved he is. Breaks my damn heart. We love a humble king, but this is SAD.

AUGH. That last sentence hit me like a damn semi-truck. I REALLY hope these thoughts written down on these summaries ARE canon. But idk. I just hope they are. Please.

[seth-burroughs]

The Rain Code x Warriors au no one asked for nor will receive an explanation for

What's up I'm still doing bad and feel my last year's mystery stress sickness is coming back and none of my drafts are anywhere remotely close to getting finished anytime soon because of that how are you are you interested in cat

(picked the TPB timeline because it makes the most sense and has the most fitting characters, but I might cheat or bend it a little, we'll see)

Yuma Kokohead -> Rusty/Firestar

Main boy :) because of course he is. Yuma's now an orange cat. Firestar was the name of Number One, and Rusty (canonically Fire's old house cat name, I'm not calling them kittypets I'm sorry) was the name of the trainee he very politely borrowed his identity for.

Makoto Kagutsuchi -> Scourge

In wc canon, Scourge is also Firestar's half-brother (but they don't ever knooow) and they both kill each other + he's canonically stated to be VERY short like one of the smallest cats in the series. After the cloning, Makoscourge painted his fur completely black except for a one white paw (for the aesthetics. or maybe I'll just give Fire a white paw as well, kinda like Yuma's and Makoto's lil ahoges), started wearing the "OwO" mask, the dog tooth studded shrimp color collar, the fucking blood dyed amv bangs, the dog tooth reinforced claws........ The former CEO took him to hot topic for the first time in his life and he was fucking MESMERIZED none of them knew what they have brought upon themselves by this single act. He is a very silly man, lost in the whimsy. When his mask gets pulled off in the Mystery Labirynth, his face is just not dyed at all and it's just ginger with green eyes just like Rusty's/Firestar's/Yuma's/whatever.

Shinigami -> Spottedleaf

In canon, Spottedleaf does infamously end up haunting Firestar's dreams as a ghost to send him cryptic visions and furiously make out with him in front of his pregnant wife, he did have a crush on her before she died and I'm pretty sure she was retconned into reciprocating it was real bad and then they double killed her so Fire won't have to choose between her and his wife in heaven it was REAL bad uhh. I still like her though. I can get you out of the narrative girl just take my hand.... She can be the weirdgirl incarnate she was always meant to be. I wanted to say something else but then I realized holy shit I'm just tweaking her into Bonefall rewrite Spottedleaf am I... What can I say it IS peak Spottedleaf.

Yomi Hellsmile -> Tigerstar

Also extremely obvious. He is evil and has immaculate sexual tension between the protag whoops sorry I forgot literally only me and like 2 other people here ship Yuma and Yomi uhh anyway. While it does fit I'm a little dissapointed that Yomi/Tigerstar is gonna be losing so much of his cringe charm..... Like, say goodbye to deeply unserious insecure prettyboy toothpick Yaoi with silly little insults such as "umbrella sewing machine man operating hand hook car table" and how do I even describe all of this in less than 3 paragraphs. Say hello to broad-shouldered muscular extremely intimidating 100% serious and competent fascist built like a fucking brick shithouse with very broad-shoulders that doesn't need a henchman boytoy to handle all his numerous murders, have I mentioned his massive fucking broad shoulders, Firestar sure did do that a lot. It's like, where's the fun..... Whatever.... I guess...........😔😔😔

Martina Electro -> Leopardstar

Now for an assigned role I'm way more cool with >:)))) for an outrageously long while I had trouble with whether Martina should be Sasha or Goldenflower, fool I was, until I remembered Leopardstar fucking exists. She is literally perfect like I cannot state this enough. AND canonically she was later retconned to have feelings for Tigerstar but I hate to acknowledge it how dare you massacre Lep like that. She can still be his gf alongside vice director though, she's just engaging in acts of deceit whilst putting opioids in his food and trying her darndest to convince herself she's actually 100% in control of the situation before she's dragged to the cube dimension and has a brief "are we the baddies" moment. I don't think she still resigns from being a peacekeeper though Leopardstar 100% would take that fucking promotion the moment she's offered it and a year later when she' done feeling guilty regresses back into being a violent asshole she has learned NOTHING❤️

Fake/Hitman Zilch -> Darkstripe

So many dissapointments happening here sigh..... This one was obvious and honestly the only valid option for FZilch aside from maybe Nightwhisper or Blackfoot? Anyway, the downsides: one, Darkstripe will never be as cool as fake Zilch he thrives on being a cringe mistreated lickspittle. Two, he's definitely not one of Tigerstar's "closest advisors (🏳️‍🌈)" whilst Dark is pretty obsessed Tiger does not give a shit and considers him a looooooser boooo lameee fuck you *canonically swats him away with his tail that one scene*. But, I mean, at least the toxic yaoi became an entire new category of toxic.

Swank Catsonell -> Brokenstar

Pure vibes. It just fits. He employs small children and makes them fight to the death in his office for glory

Seth Burroughs -> Longtail

In canon, another one of Tigerstar's lackeys that didn't know about his crimes and when he found out he immediately left. I thought he was not evil enough to be Seth at first, but it kinda fits and he does make up for it in his cringe value and being noted to be a coward, though that may have been just Fire's opinion. Also, with all the bunny Seth Burrows jokes, I'd like to mention Longtail got his eyes clawed by a rabbit so hard he went blind so do with that what you will

Guillaume Hall -> Russetfur

Aaaand this is where I started having trouble with the remaining peacekeepers. Eventually I settled on Russetfur & Blackfoot/Blackstar for Guillaume and Dominic, because I like this danger duo I and some of the fandom completely made up about them. It's okay, the authors don't know you like we do...... While Blackstar did have a higher rank and Russet was his deputy, I do think she still had at least an equal amount of power as him, they're buddies pair bonded for life Blackstar is nodding respectfully to whatever incomprehensible wisdom she's sharing

Dominic Fulltank -> Blackfoot/star

In canon, started out as a murderous henchman of two major equally murderous evil dictators, before they both died and he finally got that boss promotion he always wanted, then he got ruined by the, you guessed it, retcons, but I don't like to be reminded of his atrocity of a novella. I always imagined Blackstar as like, unbelievably jacked holy shit the muscles on that cat, (and honestly most of the fandom does too so. lmao) and he does indeed canonically unflinchingly do the dirty work of all his bosses such as killing and maiming and destroying an

You get the point. He serious'd. Darkstripe wishes he could be him. And I'm pretty sure that was even canonically implied in the sixth book lmaooooooooo. Loser <3

Dr. Huesca -> um. Goosefeather?

The looks definitely fit, Dr. Huesca indeed bears striking resemblance to that tortured feline. However, while sometimes an asshole, Goose is definitely not evil... But he could be. He deserves to be. As a treat. Also: old man pride

Kurumi Wendy -> Cinderpaw/pelt

Easy, get Cinder'd idiot. They even have a pretty similiar energy too, I feel. This is where I got a bit tired, uhh...It's 11pm. Anyway I love Cinder and I love Kurumi say anything bad about them and I'll start scream crying on the floor

Halara Nightmare -> Yellowfang

Halara gets the old beam. They're now in their fucking 60s or something perhaps 70s. Yellowfang, on the other hand, gets the non-binary spec beam. She already gave off massive butch vibes in canon already, whatever. I don't think I can uhh in short terms explain Yellowfang's whole deal rn but the gist of it she's a very snarky grandma figure to Fire that gradually warmed up to him while she was- my cat vomited. While he was assigned to take care of her while she was taken prisoner into ThunderClan camp. Her personality's pretty funky. And she does seem cool enough in order to deserve to be Halara Nightmare.

Desuhiko Thunderbolt -> Graystripe

I think I'm taking a break and coming back to this tomorrow actually after all. Hello this is tomorrow Jasper. In canon, Graystripe is Fire's silly goofy boybestie when they're young, then he starts secretly dating Silverstream - hold on i can't fuvking take tjis im making myself hot cocoa again bye. Ok it's done let's see if that makes me feel something. As I was saying he's dating this cat and she's from a rival Clan so that's illegal forbidden love and then she dies during childbirth and he leaves his own Clan for a while to raise their babies there but then he gets exiled and goes back to his own and then his kids almost get publically executed for being half-clan so he and his buddies rescue them. And then he gets abducted by humans and meets this new gal called Millie and they start dating and then she gives birth to his new babies and then a tree falls on one of them. I'm pretty sure Fire was also pretty gay for that guy. Uh, anyway. I think he fits the bill because of his goofy charm but also it's pretty disturbing to imagine any iteration of Desuhiko actually getting bitches

Fubuki Clockford -> um. uh. Silverstream?

Silverstream, in canon, is the only daughter of Crookedstar, the leader of RiverClan, and is (implied to not having a problem with) getting various privileges because of this. Fits with Fubuki's rich timelord parents, plus light blue aesthetic, and a few other things which are hard to articulate. Only thing is that she's generally way more headstrong and impulsive than Fubuki showed to be, could "bend her father to her will with little effort", and disrespects the law if it's stupid to her which, queen shit. I think she'll play a lot of little pranks with her time powers, and devote her free time/time with YumaRusty when he's accused of terrorism crimes (but that's just unrestrained summer fun anyway) to absolutely decimate any peacekeepers they come across with some looney tunes shit

Vivia Twilight -> I'll be honest I have no fucking idea

Zero fucking idea. Literally NOBODY in this arc fits for the 5D chess of a character Vivia is. I'm not even sure if in any of the books. Help me. But also I don't really care because I don't even like Vivia at all anyway he freaks me out get him away from me.

Yakou Furio -> Bluestar?

Protag mentor figure except Bluestar is actually doing a good job at that until she loses her marbles after her mid-arc torment gauntlet and has a corruption arc until she drowns and gets healed of all her issues momentarily before fucking dying. She has a dead husband, dead mom, dead sister, dead baby, dead deputy, dead deputy #2, dead bestie, holy shit that's a lot of motives for suicidemurdering Huesgoose. Btw Goose was her weird voice of god hearing uncle in canon (and he was also dead) but I'm probably taking it out unless. Anyway she's kinda too good for Yakou but. They're also both blue like that is a blue cat

And for some side characters, keyword some:

Aiko -> Littlepaw/cloud

Aetheria's now not an all girls school anymore sorry I cannot do this guys. Littlecloud was Cinder's/Kurumi's good buddy and I like their friendship. Unfortunately, you know what that means.

Karen -> Swiftpaw

Originally was supposed to have Aiko's place before I remembered Little exists. In canon his most notable moment was dying brutally, which I mean also fits the Karen quota. Plus, while not an asshole per se he does have a more fiery/overall angry personality and he did try to impulsively take on a pack of dogs to prove himself and fucking died, if under enough pressure I'm pretty sure he could smash Aiko's/Littlepaw's head in with a brick too👍👍

Yoshiko, Waruna, Kurane -> Brackenpaw/fur, Thornpaw/claw, Brightpaw/heart?

Siblings in canon and two of them are guys so no murderous yuri I guess :(( But I mean I don't have to follow canon to a T anyway lmao so we'll see. In canon, basically the other three remaining apprentices along with Swiftpaw and the ashfern siblings, plus they do function as a trio via just being sibs. Plus some notes from the books: Cinder is the fourth sibling. Brightpaw follows Swiftpaw in his quest to slay the doggy and while he dies she survives but gets her eyeball and half of her entire face's fur torn off.

Real Zilch -> Redtail

He's very dead. Very, very dead. His most iconic moment was dying abruptly and tragically via murder rip in rest

Kei Colan -> Snowkit

He is a child. That's a little boy

Snowkit, signing furiously: MY MAMA GOT FRAMED AND IS GOING TO BE PUBLICALLY EXECUTED BY THE PEACEKEEPERS IF NOTHING IS DONE PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE. HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Yellowfang, signing back in swagful motions: and how much cash does your mama have on her currently

Jiei Colan -> Speckletail

Snowkit's very old mama. Looks like she could kill you but genuinely does not have a body count. Yet.

Ramen Stand Owner -> Ravenpaw

Ravenpaw in canon hit the bricks and ran away from the Clans due to being in danger there, and lived out the rest of his days on a farm with his cowboy boyfriend Barley mostly free of drama. I'd say that fits lmao. We can make his old name Rusty, not a problem.

Margulaw -> Pinestar

90 year old voice "yeah so uhh my fucking son grew up to be a dictator now. When he was a newborn ghosts were yelling at me to kill him because he'll grow up to be a bad man otherwise and of course like any sane kanaiwardian father I said "fuck that" and had to leave ma' family behind run away from the company so the demons would shut up. And y'know little buddy... Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I just can't help but. Y'know. Anyway. Sigh."

Do you get my vision did that sound comprehensible

[roseaesynstylae]

First it was Law, then Kid, then Killer. Now it's King. Forgive me, it's just that I'm a sucker for some of the hottest men in manga. On that note, I have some thoughts about King. Warning: My thought processes got dark at points, so I feel that I should state up front that, while not mentioned in detail, there are mentions of incest and rape.

I'm wondering where King is right now. I mean, all seven of the (known) Seraphim, which were made from his DNA, have been revealed. The last we saw him, the newest addition to the "Assholes in the Marines" group had him and Queen restrained, with King being impaled with a vine pretty close to the heart. That in no way means that he's dead; people are insanely durable in One Piece, and Lunarians are explicitly stated to be extremely tough even by that standard. The best case scenario is that he somehow escaped off-screen. Worst case scenario, he's been dragged back to the lab, which is probably the worst fate he can imagine. Regardless, I'm hoping he'll show up again.

I have to wonder what he'd think about the Seraphim. I don't think he'd have a positive opinion. Think about it; he had his DNA taken from him, likely while he was being experimented on as a teenager, and it was used to make super-powerful soldiers for the people who were responsible for wiping out every other member of his race. I doubt he'd be pleased to know that, however indirectly, he's being used for the World Government's gain. And then there's the fact that, given his circumstances, he couldn't have given consent for his genetic matter to be used and the fact that it was subsequently used to make children... Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels like this has a vibe that, depending on your perspective, can be likened to rape or might actually qualify. You know, there's some really dark stuff in One Piece. It's just thinly concealed by the wackiness.

I'm wondering if another Lunarian will show up in the series at some point. Sure, they might be completely gone aside from King, but this is Oda. You never know. I've thought a bit about this. The best option is that there's at least one Lunarian aside from King hiding out in some remote place far from the World Government's reach. The worst case scenario is that they're in a lab, being experimented on. The former is the happiest choice, the latter is the most dramatic choice. Guess which one is most likely to be canon?!

Related to above, I have some ideas about what would happen if there was one more living Lunarian, who's also female. While I imagine that King would be incredibly shocked and likely very happy, it would still mean that there would only be two Lunarians left. That, and even if it isn't brought up, there would be an unspoken implication of "We are literally the last of our kind and we happen to be a male and female pair, which is usually what's required for making children. Hmm." Going deeper into that, I can confidently say that even if King and this hypothetical Lunarian woman end up being compatible and attracted to each other, even if they both want to try to continue their race, even if none of the numerous potential problems that couples run into while conceiving and carrying a child to term occur, even if they have a lot of kids... It would be a short-term solution at best, at least in terms of keeping the Lunarian race alive without getting involved with other races (which is an entire other bucket of worms and filled with concerning implications, but for the purposes of this example, I'm talking about the Lunarian species as opposed to hybrids). Keep in mind, I'm working off of the assumption that King and his hypothetical partner are really the only living Lunarians left. That would mean that, if they had kids, there would be no other Lunarians to continue on with, unless they decided to go down the route of another white-haired, fire-associated, almost gone group: The Taryargens. (This can also be called the "Let's Ignore Taboos and the Westermark Effect Option.") But even assuming that they went that way, it would all be gone in a few generations. Minuscule gene pool + inbreeding = Die slowly due to the disorders and lethal recessives brought on by said inbreeding. This, of course, isn't factoring the offspring marrying and having children with members of other races, but it's worth noting that that healthier, saner, and infinitely less disgusting option would still lead to the Lunarian race going extinct. Their genes would eventually be subsumed by everything else, the hybrids would go on to having an increasingly small percentages of their ancestry be Lunarian, and it would eventually end how you'd expect. I mean, my knowledge of genetics is shaky at best, but even I know this.

Well, the above all got dark and depressing, so let me end by saying that I would describe King in a single word: UMPH. (I think that's what I'm supposed to use.)