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youremyheaven · 10 months ago

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Outcaste Nakshatras: The Outsiders (part 3)

Here's part 1 and part 2

The more I study Mleccha nakshatra natives and the art they make, the more I understand how deeply lonely it is to have a Mleccha nak (Bharani, Ashlesha, Vishaka, Shravana) and I really feel for them. To live your whole life feeling misunderstood and othered is so difficult.

The movie Edward Scissorhands is a really good example of the "outcast" trope. The titular character is played by Johnny Depp who has Ashlesha Rising and his love interest is played by Winona Ryder who has Mercury (amatyakaraka) & Venus (atmakaraka) in Vishaka

I find Outcaste nak pairing very interesting because obviously you only feel like you belong/truly feel accepted in the presence of another Outcast.

Sidharth Malhotra, Vishaka Moon is married to Kiara Advani, who has Mercury & Venus (atmakaraka) in Ashlesha (if you have 2 or more planets in the same nak that energy is very concentrated even if its not your big 3)

they're both known for being pretty low-key people which is unusual in Bollywood lmao

Sid is an "outsider" which is what we call non-nepo actors in India. imagine the extent of nepotism in cinema in India that its the exception to be an "outsider"lmao. anyway Sid is pretty reserved and introverted and is known for not fitting in with the Bollywood crowd. Kiara is also kinda like that I guess but idk too much about her personality. They both seem happy together tho

Kareena Kapoor, Shravana Moon is married to Saif Ali Khan, Ashlesha Sun & Shravana Moon

Kareena's parents are famous actors who are separated (her dad was misogynistic and abusive and didn't want women to act) and even tho she's a nepo baby she didn't grow up with the same privileges as others in her famous family. Her elder sister had to drop out of school to support the family by acting as they were raised by a single mom and had fallen on bad times. You can see how the "outcast" themes were present in Kareena's life even though she's a very privileged nepo baby

Saif is also a nepo baby (welcome to bollywood lol) but he married a much older actress when he was 21 and had two kids. they later got divorced and Saif received a ton of bad press for alleged adultery, not getting custody or visitation rights of the kids, not paying child support (the amount was absurdly high tbh) etc he didn't fit in with the other actors of his generation. The media & public went crazy when news of Saif & Kareena getting married came out bc Saif is a divorcee with 2 kids (this stuff is still taboo in India unfortunately) and Kareena is one of the most successful stars of her generation. But they've been married for 10+ yrs and have 2 kids and are as happy as ever.

Even Kareena's longterm ex-boyfriend, Shahid Kapoor was a Mleccha caste nak guy (he has Vishaka Moon)

Expanding on the outcast tropes, Shahid's parents separated when he was young and he saw little of his biological father. He had to work very hard for very long to break into the industry and even now, he's not really given his due as an actor.

Alia Bhatt, Shravana Rising is married to Ranbir Kapoor, Shravana Moon

their marriage seems hella toxic to me ngl BUT they've both had similar childhoods.

Alia & Ranbir are both nepo babies (welcome to bollywood), Alia is like a tier 3 nepo (her father is a notoriously controversial filmmaker) whilst Ranbir is like a tier 1 nepo (he is a 4th generation actor from the biggest film family in India) however both their parents had unhappy marriages, and both of them had abusive fathers. trauma bonding, mayhaps? they're both also extremely close to their mothers as well (Moon dominant people often tend to be)

Its another example of Outcaste naks bonding over their shared experiences/feelings of being the outcast.

all members of Blackpink have an Outcaste nakshatra in their chart that is prominent in some way.

Jisoo- Shravana Moon, Venus in Vishaka (darakaraka), Ketu in Bharani

Rose- Venus conjunct Jupiter (debilitated) in Shravana

Jennie- Vishaka Moon, Mars in Shravana

Lisa- Jupiter in Shravana (debilitated), Swati Moon (Swati is a Shudra nak, which is the lowest caste so the themes are similar to that of outcaste naks)

This is interesting to me because BP is the biggest girl group of all time yet they are also probably disproportionately hated for things they cant even control. they were mismanaged by a shitty ass company with very few comebacks and barely got to display their true calibre as artists and their media interactions, promos, other activities etc were severely controlled and restricted. all of this is to say that despite being the most successful group their actual experiences are far from sunshine and roses. they were treated like outcasts by their company and the industry and fans. they trained for 4-6 years, enduring a brutal and toxic system, worked very hard with what they were given, with 0 creative liberty to come this far im glad theyre pursuing solo careers now and hope to see them thrive<333

the movie Lost in Translation is a good example of two outcasts/lonely people who find comfort in each other

Bill Murray is Shravana Moon and Scarlett Johansson is Vishaka Moon

Sridevi, Ashlesha Sun & Rising and Boney Kapoor, Vishaka Sun & Mercury

So they had a really fcked up marriage that I won't get into but they were both people who felt like outcasts in their lives. Sridevi grew up with a stepfather and was pushed into acting by her mother when she was 3-4 years old (she's like an Indian Judy Garland tbh) who deprived her of formal education and a normal life so that she'd be the family cash cow. Being South Indian, she also found it hard to fit in among Bollywood folks as she initially spoke neither Hindi nor English. Boney's the ugly duckling of his family and his younger brother is one of the most famous/iconic actors ever, he had to become a movie producer since his brothers became actors and his father (who was a movie producer) thought it would be better if he stayed behind the scenes. themes of exclusion and outcast-ness crop up in their lives and in the lives of all the people I mention here.

Lady Bird is a good example of a movie about a female teenage outcast. The titular character is played by Saoirse Ronan, who has Bharani Moon

Recently I came across the content creator, Alana Lintao who often makes shorts about social behaviour. This one in particular stood out to me because its literally about one person being excluded by a group of friends or being treated like "the other".

Alana plays the excluded friend in this short as well. She has Bharani Sun, Swati Moon and Mercury in Revati amatyakaraka (Swati & Revati are both Shudra naks)

Outcaste naks are vilified and crucified for mistakes others get away with.

Janet Jackson, Vishaka Rising & Ketu

Janet's career took a hit and her life took a tumultuous turn after the Superbowl incident. She did not deserve all the vitriol she received then especially considering how so many others get away with wayyy worse

Jennie, Vishaka Moon gets hated on for absolutely nothing

Lana Del Rey, Ashlesha Moon, Vishaka Rising (&stellium)

Lana does say dumb things from time to time but she gets soooo much unnecessary hate

I have noticed how Outcaste nakshatras often tend to have really difficult childhood experiences

Jeanette McCurdy- Ardra sun, Bharani Moon & Pushya Rising

Jeanette opens up about her abusive mother and terrible childhood in her memoir. I mention her other placements as well because I've noticed that both Ardra & Pushya natives also experience abuse in their early lives

Britney Spears, Shravana Moon

she has endured so much abuse from so many people including her family. i wish her peace.

Wheein, Vishaka Moon grew up with a single mother and later after she made her debut her estranged father tried to borrow money from people under her name?? there was a minor scandal about it many years ago. She also grew up quite lower middle class if not poor.

David Bowie, Shravana Rising

Bowie once said, "“It wasn’t a particularly happy childhood, my parents were cold emotionally. There weren’t many hugs. I always craved affection because of that.”

Cole & Dylan Sprouse, Ashlesha Sun

Speaking on the Call Her Daddy podcast, he explained that their mother's issues with mental health and addiction contributed to her being "financially the most irresponsible woman ever." He said that when their dad was given forced custody when the boys were 10, their mom had already spent everything they'd earned from their early acting jobs. Though their dad wanted them to be "normal kids," he ultimately decided that the boys' acting careers were a financial necessity.

Ariel Winter, Shravana Sun

Ariel Winter has spoken out about how acting wasn't her choice, but it was her mother's. Ariel shared that her mother, Crystal Workman, had dreams of being an actor herself. Ariel said that with Crystal as her stage mom, she dealt with a lot of abuse and exploitation.

Once Ariel's acting career began, she said her mom put her on a strict diet and neglected her education. Her mother also had her dress in outfits that sexualized her. Ariel claimed her mom put her in “the smallest miniskirts, sailor suits, low-cut things, the shortest dresses you’ve ever seen. People thought I was 24 when I was 12. If there was going to be a nude scene when I was that age, my mother would have a thousand percent said yes.”

Now Bollywood is an industry run by film dynasties, its very rare for someone from the outside to break in and make it big. Being an "Outsider" is very difficult, people bully you, try to sabotage your career, try to isolate you etc etc, needless to say its not for the faint of heart. So lets take a look at some of the most successful "Outsiders" in Bollywood who made it big without any family in the business

ofc we have to start with the most successful outsider of all time, Shahrukh Khan, Shravana Moon

he truly came from nothing (father died when he was a teenager, mother died before he made his debut, has a sister with special needs who he has taken care of his entire life) and became the biggest star in the world.

Akshay Kumar, Vishaka Moon, he was a martial artist, chef, waiter and worked numerous odd jobs before he started modelling in his late 20s and later started acting and today he has a net worth of $340 million

Anushka Sharma, Bharani Sun

her life is truly a case of being lucky af, she was a model and by the age of 19-20 she was cast in a film opposite Shahrukh Khan aka the biggest actor in the country produced by YRF, one of the biggest film production companies in India. its truly a fairy tale because neither can Anushka act nor is she gifted in any other way (bad dancer, heck she was even an awful model) but she's incredibly successful in every way and is now married to the (former) Captain of the Indian cricket team

Deepika Padukone, Shravana Rising

she is from a privileged background (her dad's a renowned badminton player) but she worked very very hard to get where she is today and has had more career longevity than just about any other actress.

Bipasha Basu & John Abraham, Bharani Moon

they were both a hot couple who were really popular in the 2000s

there are many other successful Outsiders but they don't have outcaste naks lol, these are the only ones i can think of rn :/

i hope this post was informative<33

#astrology notes #astrology observations #sidereal astrology #vedic astro notes #nakshatras #astro notes #vedic astrology #astrology #astroblr #astro observations #jyotish #shravana #bharani #vishaka #ashlesha

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penguwastaken · 5 months ago

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Headmaster Naegi makes perfect sense (+ DR3 Makoto Analysis)

There's a lot of misunderstandings about the Danganronpa series, and if I had to pick an entry that's "the most misunderstood," I would easily say it's Danganronpa 3.

I went into the anime completely blind and I loved it, only to be shocked by the amount of hate it gets, most of which I think is undeserved. I've written plenty of posts about the anime so far clearing up a lot of misconceptions with it, but there's one I really wanted to talk about. That would of course be the ending.

The amount of backlash I've seen towards Makoto becoming the headmaster of Hope's Peak and rebuilding it was always so strange to me, because to me I couldn't think of a more perfect conclusion to his character. So I wanted to write about it and explain why I feel like this is a perfectly in character and satisfying conclusion.

What went wrong with Hope's Peak?

The usual reason give for why this ending is bad is something along the lines of "Hope's Peak is evil, why would you bring it back?"

This is a fair assessment, at least on the surface level. Starting with Danganronpa Zero and Danganronpa 2, Hope's Peak began to be portrayed in a more negative light by doing things like human experimentation, practically extorting kids by weaponizing their dreams, or covering up murders. However, this take lacks any nuance.

In the original Danganronpa, Hope's Peak is painted in a pretty positive light. The class is seen having fun in all of their pictures, enjoying themselves. When the tragedy hits, Jin, the current headmaster, takes responsibility and helps protect the students.

This paints a very different picture of Hope's Peak than what we'd see later. So what happened? What changed?

If you look back at those things I mentioned, the human experimentation, extorting kids, and covering up murders, all of that ties back to the Steering Committee.

"Not only that, it was the intent of the new Steering Committee members as well to strictlyconceal the incident and keep it under wraps." -Danganronpa Zero

Once Hope's Peak grew in size and the Steering Committee began to gain more power, more bad things started to happen. They introduced the Reserve Course to gather more funds for the experiments they just started doing and there was now an effort was to conceal their crimes.

Danganronpa 3 expanded on this by making it pretty clear that the people running Hope's Peak and the Steering Committee don't always see eye to eye. Jin gets pretty angry when he discovers the Steering Committee plans to sweep the most recent incident under the rug.

(Forgive the awful image quality LOL)

Hope's Peak wasn't always like this, it became this. This is a point that's even pretty consistently brought up in Danganronpa 3, with the main motivation of the Class 74 trio being to fix it.

There was a time when it nurtured true hope. People made friends and memories in Hope's Peak, to act like it was some pure evil entity kind of misses the point. In the end, what tainted Hope's Peak was their flawed view of Hope seeping into it and corrupting it until it became unrecognizable.

Kyosuke wanted to fix Hope's Peak, but eventually his view of Hope became warped as well. Kyosuke would never get to accomplish his dreams of fixing the school and becoming the headmaster, instead choosing to carry the burden of his crimes and pass down his dreams to someone else, someone whose views of Hope were strong and untainted...

Why Makoto?

I can't think of a better person to carry on Kyosuke's wishes than the Ultimate Hope himself. I would argue Makoto rebuilding Hope's Peak couldn't be any more in character.

Right off of the bat, Makoto is known to understand Hope better than anyone else. He's given the title of the Ultimate Hope, a title so fitting that even those at the Future Foundation acknowledge it. The entire series shows that Makoto understands "true hope" better than anyone else.

Makoto also has a history of wanting to help those he sees the good in. In Danganronpa IF, he sees good in Mukuro despite the horrible things she's done because he knew about the good in her. In Danganronpa 2, Makoto attempts to rehabilitate the Remnants of Despair because he knew they weren't always that way.

The obvious natural next step would be for Makoto to fix Hope's Peak, a school that used to embody his ideals, a school that brought him many memories and helped him meet many great people. Of course lots of bad came from Hope's Peak, but bad came from Mukuro and the Remnants of Despair, but that didn't stop Makoto from trying with them.

Makoto running Hope's Peak isn't even out of character. In Danganronpa 2, Makoto is behind the School Trip inside of the Neo World Program, already taking on a "teacher-like" role. Makoto's vision of the school trip is that they spend their time getting closer to each other and building true hope, which is exactly what Hope's Peak should be.

Heck, if I wanted to go even earlier than that, in the original Danganronpa during Kiyotaka's free time events, he comments on about how he "doesn't totally hate" being called a professor. And considering how the writers played the games before writing the anime to catch themselves up, I wouldn't even be surprised if this was intentional.

While not a branch head, Makoto even gets a job at Future Foundation in the branch of public relations. Makoto has pretty much every single qualification to be the headmaster of Hope's Peak and it's not something that comes out of nowhere.

Makoto's arc

While I'm at it, I should also go into Makoto's arc. At the start of the anime, Makoto acts confident. Makoto rejects Monokuma's game, not wanting to give in again and believing that nobody will kill each other this time.

However, as more people begin to die, Makoto's resolve begins to shake. He's reminded how his words were unable to save his classmates, and now he's unable to save the Future Foundation. He's the Ultimate Hope, so why can't he do it? Are his words truly hollow? Are they just worthless platitudes?

But over the course of the anime, Makoto is reminded that his words did have power. He's changed the lives of many and his hope is real. When he sees his friends fighting to protect him, or Komaru eagerly awaiting for him to rescue her, he begins to realize that his hope truly did inspire those around him

Kyoko's sacrifice and her trust in him to carry her hope to the end and end the killing game is the final push he needed. All doubts he had were gone, even despite the constant torment they faced, Makoto had all the proof he needed to know that his hope was true and he gained the confidence to finally face Kyosuke.

I've seen people say that Makoto's conflict with Kyosuke is never properly resolved or that Makoto's point of view on hope is never proven right, but this here is that proof. By carrying the hope people have placed in him, the hope created by his "platitudes," he was able to prove to Kyosuke that his hope was the true hope in the end.

Why does this matter?

Ultimately, Makoto's understanding of hope is what makes him worthy of continuing Hope's Peak. Makoto's values are what Hope's Peak needed, and with a his grasp on true hope, only Makoto could save Hope's Peak. This is what the entire series was building up to.

From a person who saved people with words to finding the good in otherwise horrible people, Makoto carrying the burden of hope and attempting to restore Hope's Peak's image is the perfect conclusion for his character.

Some may say "what if things go wrong in the future," and while there's that possibility, there's always going to be that possibility. There was a chance him trying to save Mukuro would fail, there was a chance him trying to save Class 77 would fail, but in the end he had hope and kept going anyways.

The reason I never understood why people didn't like this ending is because I always felt that this was the most natural continuation of his arc. Why wouldn't Makoto try to restore the symbol of hope, a former titan that brought many people together and once motivated the world? As headmaster, Makoto would be in the perfect position to continue to help the world and spread hope to future generations, even as a "normal" person.

So that's why Headmaster Naegi makes sense.

#danganronpa #dr #danganronpa 3 #dr3 #dr3 anime #danganronpa anime #makoto naegi #dr makoto #danganronpa makoto #dr3 hope arc #dr3 spoilers #dr3 future arc #dr3 despair arc

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wehaveimagineshere · 1 year ago

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In Act 3 if you make the deal with Raphael, Gale says "I can't believe you signed that contract. We'll discuss this. Later." Would you please do something NSFW with this as a prompt because it has me feeling things lol

You didn't specify an admin, so I - Ren - will be writing this as a scenario (: You also did not specify reader gender and pronouns, so they'll default to AFAB and she/her.

I tried finding this dialogue but had no luck! I can see why it would make you feel things cause just imagining it myself has me going 👀

~*~*~

The door clicks shut and you inhale slowly, turning your head so you can see Gale. Arms crossed, face as furious as you've ever seen it, you know you're in for the biggest tongue lashing of your life.

"Before you say anything--" you try, but he cuts you off.

"I can't believe you signed that contract! What were you thinking?"

"I--"

"I did not trek halfway across Faerûn to watch you throw your life away to a godsdamn demon. Have you not paid any attention to Wyll? To what he's had to go through?"

You turn to him fully. "Gale--"

"Don't 'Gale' me! I thought you were smarter than this! I thought--"

"Do you have any better ideas?!" you snap, throwing up your hands. "Do you? Do any of you? This gods forsaken Elder Brian is causing the entire city to shake and you think we can just win through friendship and hope?"

"I did not say that--"

"No, but you act like it! Mystra isn't coming to save us, Gale! She wants you to blow yourself up and I hate to say it, but she's the only god that has even deigned to look in our direction!" Throwing your arms wide, you give an aggravated laugh. "Raphael has given us something, a way to kill the damn thing!"

"I would rather die than see you struggle like Wyll!"

"And I would rather get played by a demon than see you turned squid!"

"Do you have any idea what Raphael can do with the crown?"

"I know what won't happen, Gale. Us turning brain eater!" You step forward. "I am trying to not only see to the end of this conflict in one piece, but to see a future beyond it! What Raphael does with the crown in Avernus doesn't matter when he can help secure a life after this!" Gesturing between you, you add, "A life for us!"

The anger pressing against the room pops at that statement. Gale's shoulders slump, pinched expression turning to something soft before he rubs a hand over his face, running fingers through his hair. You exhale heavily, feeling pressure behind your eyes but determined to not let the tears fall.

This was stupid. All of this was stupid.

Crossing to the small desk in the corner of the room, Gale presses his palms against the rough wood and exhales heavily. "It is such a dangerous game, isn't it?" His voice is quiet, reserved. "We put one foot just one centimeter to the left and we all fall to our doom."

"I just want us alive, Gale." You swallow down the tightening of your throat, the tears stinging your eyes. "I never wanted to have the fate of an old, dangerous crown in my hands. I don't have the capacity to see the consequences of what could happen hundreds of years from now. But I know if I don't do something right now, we're dead. More than dead."

"I know." His eyes are locked onto the grooves of the table. "I know."

Slowly, you move to stand behind him. Slowly, you lay a hand between his shoulder blades. "We know where Raphael keeps all his things. Including that contract."

You feel his chest expand with an inhale. "You want to steal your contract?"

"And tear it up. The object I bartered for is in there too."

Straightening, he turns to you, a range of emotions dancing in his eyes. "You are absolutely crazy. I mean, I know you've been for a while now, but..."

Looping your arms around his neck and pressing your body against his, you say softly against his lips, "Anything for our future, Gale."

A sound you've never heard before leaves his throat as he crushes his lips to yours, fingertips digging into your hips and roughly pushing them against his own. You respond in kind, nipping his bottom lip as you grind gently, smiling when you feel him through his clothing.

"You scare me, you know," he breathes, breath tickling your throat as he nips down your skin. "You're wild, and unpredictable." His teeth find your collarbone, sending a shiver straight down your spine, raising the heat between your legs. "I never know if you're a fool or playing a game of chess even I can't make heads or tails of."

His palms find your ass and squeeze, dragging a surprised yelp from you. Silencing your sound with his lips, he uses his grip to situate yourself perfectly as he grinds hard, up and down right against that nerve that makes you see stars.

Your hands slip under his robe, finding skin as you cling to him, already losing control as you meet his thrusts. Your pants are too much and too little, you want them off now but love the teasing, that delicious build in your stomach. Gale has never been so forceful, so demanding, and you tuck an internal sloppy note into your brain to rile him up more often.

His hands finally tug on the rim of your pants and you're quick to help, tossing them to the side as he hefts you onto the table, one hand up your shirt with fingers teasing a nipple as another frees his himself.

No playing this time around as he bites your bottom lip hard, sheathing himself in one quick thrust. Wrapping your legs around him, you urge him in deeper as he starts moving, a punishing pace that sends your heart skyrocketing, your moans loud as he claims you, the frustration from earlier riding his every movement.

You meet his pace just as fiercely, fingers tangling in his hair as he hits that spot again and again, not giving you time to breathe as the pleasure becomes nigh unbearable. You're close, so so close, just as he pauses, all movement coming to a halt.

You whimper, moving your hips for that last bit of friction needed to drive you over the edge, but his fingers dig in hard on your hips, keeping you in place. "Gale." His name is at once foreign and familiar in your lust hazed brain, focus solely on how right he feels even paused within you.

"Promise me," he pants, placing his forehead against yours, shifting ever so slightly to make you gasp. To beg. "You'll stop doing stupid things that scare me."

"I promise, I promise." You'd say anything to get him moving again, and he knows this.

"I have your word?"

"Yes," you plead. "Yes."

"Say it."

"You have my wo--"

He swallows your lies as he buries himself deep, swallows your gasp as he finally allows your release, holds you together as you shatter beneath him.

He rides out your orgasm. Slow, gentle thrusts as you piece yourself back together. As you realize that he hasn't followed you yet into ecstasy.

As you realize it's going to be a long night.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 gale #gale x reader #gale/reader #bg3 gale/reader #bg3 gale x reader #smut

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mastermindmp3 · 8 months ago

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I once saw someone call The Alchemy a bit like fanfiction. The references to football read as obvious allusions to Swift's current partner, but it's a little too vague on everything else, reading like a published fic with the serial numbers filed off. And while I agree on both fronts, I also... really like this song. The softness on those opening lines, the kind of sexy beat, the affected accent on blokes, the play on winning tournaments and selling out tours- okay, fine, it's captured my imagination. I'm allowed to indulge in the Lore™ (the sign on your heart says it's still reserved for me, a reference to her current partner's attempt at flirting via friendship bracelet, and the two only connecting later.)

Very Mister Americana and the Heartbreak Queen of Swift, lol. If someone else has made that joke, I'm sorry.

That said, there's still quite a lot to dig into, even without the Lore™, and I love me a good analysis.

The Alchemy, coming right after The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived, feels like a direct answer to it. When listened in album order, The Alchemy is like the happy ending to your favorite angst with a happy ending story — hey, speaking of fanfiction! Even the narrator refers to it. The hospital was a drag, worst sleep that I ever had.

Sure, we can see this as a literal allusion to a hospital, and yeah, hospital cots suck for your back. But, considering the rest of the album, consider the way that the narrator refers to her not-tortured poet-conman lover as "the miracle move on drug," well... Yeah, the hospital was a drag!

The Alchemy is about the first rush of love. Once you've moved past the tepid stages of a crush, of furtive texting and coffee dates, and are feeling more secure in the relationship. But that's not what it's all about

Secure is a very operative word, I think, as the narrator (previously in fraught relationships, either with her ghost in London or being conned) sounds far less anxious here. She's not preempting statements, she is declaring: Cut the ammeters from the team, I'm the one to beat.

The song is, like the rest of the album, as much about the narrator's sense of self as it is about her partners. Here, the narrator isn't being toyed with, isn't being dragged around, and instead, asks: What if I told you "I'm back."? It's a lot like a challenge. I'm coming back so strong.

In an album with many references to mental health struggles, The Alchemy can feel very reassuring. Our relationships do affect how well we can manage our symptoms, and here, the narrator has found someone who doesn't ask her to wallow, nor do they enable her worst traits. Let the blokes warm the benches, it seems the narrator and her alchemist are doing just fine.

this happens once every few lifetimes, these chemicals hit me like white wine.

I love that the opening line also closes the song. Swift's discography has many, many references to love as a magical force, in the myriad ways it can unsettle one's life and feel all too right at the same time. Here, it's referred to as chemicals. Alchemy originally refers to the idea of turning anything into gold, but the word has vastly expanded its meaning. In the modern conscience, alchemy is used to refer to any kind of potion making, more akin to herbalists. Instead of magic, it's practical work. Hey, there's that idea again. Putting in the work to make love last.

I think this song is about finding a love that not only feels brand new and exciting but also feels comfortable, in a way that encourages both parties to grow. We've been on a winning streak.

#ttpdminutes #the cassandra speaks #the alchemy #the alchemy taylor swift

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muthaz-rapapa · 1 month ago

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@dawnlovesham You were right! The Tokyo branch had a total makeover! 😲✨

IIRC, the store for the Pretty series used to be next to them but Prism Stone (I had to look up the name, I don’t follow this series) moved to the spot across from where the Pokécenter used to be and the Pokécenter got bumped up to a bigger space on the first floor, too.

So yea, a bunch of stores got rearranged and Precure’s just expanded one spot over.

It’s a good change. Inside is a lot brighter now and they have more room to accomodate customers, which they’ll need since new merch releases require reservations and with it being Tokyo’s branch and all, they’ll no doubt be seeing A LOT of traffic 😅

The goods aren’t as clustered together as well but I’ll have to admit I’m going to miss the warm vibe the old store layout gave. Every corner of it was covered with Precure, even merch from past seasons but now it’s just the currently airing one and a few All Stars lines.

Not complaining, though. They finally have space for a changing room so kids can dress up in Precure costumes to take photos. I saw a mother bring her daughter there and the little girl looked so happy to be wearing Cure Lillian’s outfit!

Which of course made me SUPER happy because omg, what a heartwarming memory mother and daughter will have of this day 🥹 andandand it’s LILLIAN she chose to cosplay, OMGGGG!!!!! 😆��

Out of the entire cast, Mayu and Satoru are the least favored (the rereleased seasonal goods still have lots of extras of them while Komugi, Iroha and Yuki are sold out) so I always get ecstatic whenever I see someone show the less popular characters some love ☺️

Anyways, moving along, this was also my first time seeing the Pretty Holic products up close and they’re so cute?! 😍

I wonder how good they are as cosmetics, though. But I guess if they got the approval to sell these to little girls, it shouldn’t be bad or anything.

The henshin items were there too (and lots of Niko-sama) but they seem kinda big in the photo?? Lol, I dunno, I didn’t stay here too long cuz there wasn’t anything I wanted to buy…

Until my flight home got delayed by several hours (AND THEN SOME 😩) so that gave me enough time to head out to Tokyo once more on Friday. The twin keychains had a sudden one-day limited in store restock so I was able to get the pairs I didn’t have, yay! 😆

I’m glad I decided to buy them while I was still there. When I arrived home and checked the online store, these were already completely sold out! 😳 and they seemed to still have a lot in store so I wonder if it’s a case of not being able to correctly predict demands to meet them…

…well, lucky me, I guess 😊

when I find time later, I’ll take photos of my whole Precure collection so far and post it on bsky

#lol inugumi is slightly bigger than usagigumi #Which is amusing cuz Komugi and Daifuku are practically the same size in the show so Iroha and Satoru should be too #But he’s smaller than her as an animal while bigger than her as a human 😂#aiyyyyy kawaiiii~ 🥰#precure #merch #wonderful precure

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thoroughlymodernminutia · 1 year ago

Text

This Christmas - Prequel

Pairing: Benny "Borracho" Magalon x F!Reader

Word count: 8,219

Summary: This is a prequel of sorts to this from last year. It’s basically the how Benny and the reader met, etc

Warnings: Mostly Hallmark-style fluffy stuff, lots of pining, but brief mention of loss, guilt, some foul language. If I missed anything else let me know and I'll add it in.

A/N: I don’t know folks, I started writing this and was really chugging along and had a whole plan for how I wanted this to be. Then I got sick with everyone’s favorite illness from 2020 and lost a lot steam. I found, I think, a happy compromise with myself because I wanted to post this before Christmas (self imposed deadlines am I right?) and realized I can always I don’t know, post more parts of it later?? I am my own worst critic so if you read this and it isn’t your jam, please don’t say anything lol I’ve probably already thought it, so it would be redundant! Also, clearly, I do not know the proper use of a semicolon, or an em dash and I don't have an editor, so we'll all just have to deal. Anyways, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, all that jazz

-----------

It’s a little after six in the morning and they still haven’t rolled in. Usually, the five of them would have been here for an hour already; a few hungover, one still drunk, and the fifth one acting like an adult babysitter for the other four. It’s weird how this happens–people come into your little donut shop and after a while, instead of you becoming part of their routine, they become part of yours. Eventually they start to feel like stand-ins for the friends you hardly ever get to see. You’re busy with your business and they’re busy with their jobs and families.

It could feel lonely, but you have people like Noreen, who comes in every Friday to buy three dozen assorted donuts for her team. Noreen is kind and not the type of person you envision working at a private equity firm. When you were thinking about expanding into the small space next door, she looked at your plan and helped you figure out where you were being too aggressive and in some cases too shortsighted. She didn’t ask for anything in return, but you made sure her next three dozen donuts were on the house.

There’s Will, a retired teacher, who comes in every Sunday. He used to come in with his partner, Charles, and they would sit at the table you have set up near the front window. They traded off different sections of the newspaper while drinking their coffee and sharing one old-fashioned donut and one raspberry jelly donut; they never strayed from those. Charles passed away six months ago and it was unexpected. You didn’t expect to see Will for a while, but routine is hard to give up especially when it’s the only thing you have left. Every Sunday morning you set a 'reserved' sign on the table near the window.

There’s Stuart, who hangs out in the plaza your shop is located in. You’re not sure if he’s unhoused or just likes to spend his day outside, but it felt strange to always see him and not interact with him. One day you invited him to come by for coffee and a donut but he turned you down. You told him the offer was good for any time and that you hoped you’d see him in there soon. He came in a few days later and it made you feel like you were doing some good; and then you felt bad for feeling like that. Stuart’s reserved and not much of a talker so you just let him sit at a table while you go about your work. Some days he’ll start a conversation; it’s rare but it feels like you both trust each other enough to make more than small talk. If you don’t see him in his usual spot outside, you worry. He usually turns up a few days later, but you're concerned that at some point he won’t turn up and what are you supposed to do then?

There’s a handful of people that fall into this category of if they never came back you would notice. It’s because some of them are smart and kind like Noreen. Some because they sit in the same spot, newspaper sections still divided in two, like Will. Some because their silence fills your little shop, like Stuart. And some whose absence you would notice because they don’t fit into these boxes. Sometimes they can be loud or irritating; but they can also be entertaining. And they’re are always five of them, but only one that makes you feel like you’re thirteen and just saw your middle school crush.

They started coming in sometime in February. You only remember because the biggest one said he’s 'not eating a fucking, prissy, heart-shaped donut.' Some men are like that, afraid if they come in contact with something feminine that’s not a woman, that their dick will fall off. He was loud and obnoxious and only one of the other four looked truly embarrassed for the guy and for himself. He apologized for his friend and ordered five large coffees and a dozen glazed donuts.

“You sure glazed are going to be manly enough for your friend over there?”

You ticked your head over towards the table where his friends were sitting. He laughed and it was a surprisingly warm laugh for a man with neck tattoos.

“He won’t even remember being here, let alone what kind of donuts he ate.”

He sounded annoyed but used to the behavior. You remembered having friends like that, in your twenties, but you were well past that age and so were these guys by the look of it. You saw him eyeing an apple fritter so you grabbed it from the case, put it on a plate, and set it on the counter next to the box of donuts.

“On the house, since it doesn’t look like you’re getting paid for your babysitting duties.”

He smiled, said thank you, and then went to sit with his loud friends. You noticed he was quiet in comparison and thought it would be nice if they were all quiet like that.

When they were getting ready to leave you saw that the quiet one made sure all the trash was thrown away and all the dishes went into the right bin. At the door as they were leaving he gave you a small wave thanking you again. There was something about his smile that made it feel like flowers were blooming in your stomach. That feeling carried you for a week. You’d think of that moment of him at the door and a fog would enter your brain and the flowers in your stomach would grow larger.

The feeling would start to subside after a while and you would get caught up in your real life–your business, the rare time with your friends, the occasional bad date. It would slowly drift from the front of your mind to the back. Then they would show up and the cycle would continue.

The one who had the soft smile and neck tattoo, you learned his name was Benny. And that if you gave him a choice between the apple fritter and anything else, he would choose the apple fritter one hundred percent of the time. The loud drunk, that was Big Nick and he’s only been not drunk five percent of the time they’ve come in. There’s Connors, Zapata, and Henderson–you’ve only heard them referred to by their last names. A thing that you’ve only ever heard men do. They all come in once or twice a month–usually early, usually hungover. It makes you wonder what they do before they end up at your place. You never ask because to know would be to probably ruin your crush on Benny.

Benny always pays and there’s a part of you that hopes he’s doing it just for the chance to talk to you. When he leaves he always gives you a wave goodbye and a thanks again. The flowers in your stomach have bloomed and blossomed to an embarrassing degree by the end of May. And that’s when they stopped coming in.

—-

Benny shakes his head no at Connor’s who’s trying to hand him a beer, “Not feeling it tonight.”

Benny isn’t feeling it any night, but he keeps that to himself. The drinking, the cocaine, the women, none of it interests him and it hasn’t for a while. Since February if he’s being honest with himself.

They had ended up at your donut shop, Glazy for You under random circumstances. The usual place they would go to sober up after one of these parties had been closed down by the health department. He should have known it was bound to happen, the place was dim and oddly seedy for a diner. Benny was the designated driver that night, since he hadn’t been feeling well he didn’t drink and spent most of the night ushering random women out of a grim motel room. When he saw Glazy for You as he was driving by, it looked like the complete opposite of his evening; it was bright, there were Valentine’s decorations on the window. It looked comforting and warm, two things he felt like he was missing in his life.

Nick of course was an asshole and Benny felt like he spent a lot of time silently apologizing to you. His apologies must have entered you mind telepathically because you gave him an apple fritter–the best apple fritter he’s ever had in his whole fucking life. There must have been some kind of magic in because that moment lodged itself somewhere in his heart and reappears when he’s feeling low. Like now–sitting in this motel room, on this couch that probably hasn’t been cleaned in two decades, watching his friends lose their fucking minds over shit they should have outgrown.

Benny hasn’t seen you in months, ninety-seven days to be exact, not that he’s counting. They’ve been working on one case after the next and it’s left time for little else. No post drug test parties, no early mornings sitting in a donut shop waiting for everyone to sober up, no you. It’s been sleep and work for three months straight. Last time he saw you, it seemed like you were happy to see him. Maybe he imagined that feeling; misunderstood the warmth in your smile. Maybe that’s the smile that you’ve practiced in order to be able to perform it for everyone. Maybe everyone feels what he feels when they see you.

Benny sinks further into the couch and looks up at the ceiling. It’s a drop ceiling which brings back memories of a case he had worked on. While securing a crime scene, they were in the living room of a run down apartment. It had this same type of ceiling and a body fell right through it onto the floor. He thinks that maybe this is how it ended up being called a drop ceiling, because shit just drops right out. That thought, that memory makes him realize that he doesn’t want to be in this room anymore. He gets up, grabs his jacket off the back of the couch, and leaves. He hears Connors call after him as he’s closing the door but he doesn’t care. He only has one place that he wants to be right now.

—-

You’re putting a tray of bear claws in the display case when you hear the door open. It’s still early, the sun is barely up, pink and purple hues are still in the sky. You get a lot of municipal workers that come in at this time, barely past opening. So it’s a little bit of a surprise when you get a glimpse through the display case of Benny walking in, alone.

There’s a second while you’re crouched down, adjusting the tray that you let yourself be excited; allow yourself to give into the childish feeling of getting a glimpse of your crush. Your knees are wobbly as you stand up–unsure if it’s because you’re getting old or because he’s looking right at you.

“Oh hey, how’ve you been?” You wipe your palms on the front of the apron you’re wearing. “It’s been a while.”

You try to sound neutral, neither excited to see him or disappointed that it's been so long. He smiles and that familiar sensation of flowers blooming returns.

“We’ve been working on a lot of cases and it’s been hard to find time for anything else.”

You lean forward and rest your arms on top of the bakery case.

“Cases? You guys are lawyers?” As the words leave your mouth you realize how truly stupid it sounds. You’ve never in your life seen any lawyers that look like these guys.

Benny chuckles and rubs the back of his neck, something he does when feels embarrassed or self conscious.

“No, definitely not lawyers. Detectives. We work for the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department.”

You fail at suppressing a laugh, “I’m sorry. All of you are detectives? Even your friend Nick?”

Benny knows your laugh isn’t mean spirited and if he were you, he’d probably laugh too, knowing what he knows about the people he works with. He moves closer to display case and leans in.

“Even Nick. You seem surprised.”

“It’s just. I.” You pause, trying to choose your words with care, because you like Benny and you don’t want to insult him, “I mean, it’s hard to imagine being a victim of a crime or something and like Nick is the person taking your statement, trying to help you. That is my nightmare.”

You hope you don’t sound like an asshole, but the idea of Nick serving and protecting seems like a stretch. If you offend Benny, he doesn’t show it, he just laughs.

“The way that you’ve seen him, I can understand the sentiment. He’s not like that a hundred percent of the time. I promise.”

You give Benny a joking look, “Okay, but what percentage are we talking here?”

You’re both laughing when the rest of the guys walk in. The rowdiness is a shock to your system after not dealing with it for a while. You look at Benny and he’s no longer leaning in towards you and maybe you’re projecting, but you think he looks a little disappointed too.

Benny’s disappointed, but he tries his best to hide it. The guys may be drunk, but they are cops and they are perceptive. Benny already knows he has a reputation among them as being soft. It used to bother him, but it hasn’t for a while. He knows he would rather be soft than be the type of man that can’t feel anything other than bitterness and rage.

“Borracho, you fucking asshole, you left us.”

Nick, is of course loud and slurring his words. Benny hopes you can’t understand Spanish–he doesn’t want to be known as a ‘drunk’ to you.

Benny turns from you to look at the guys. Connors is propping Nick up; Henderson and Zapata are stumbling towards a table.

“I was hungry.”

Benny hopes it’s enough to shut Nick up. He knows it’s not because he sees Nick loosen himself from Connors and stumble towards him. He claps a large, drunk hand on Benny’s shoulder and the force almost knocks him backwards.

“Fuck, Borracho. You’re no fun anymore.”

Nick is a mess and that’s not really that surprising to you. What is surprising is how uncomfortable Benny looks. He has the look of a man who would give anything to disappear. You can’t really blame him, these guys, Nick especially, are exhausting to be around and you only deal with them for a few hours a month.

“Can I get you guys something or are you just going to loiter?”

Benny looks towards you and you give him a sympathetic smile. He shakes Nick off of him and is about to order when Nick lurchers towards the counter that you’re standing behind. You step back as he unsuccessfully tries to paw at you.

“I know what you can get me, sweetheart.”

Benny groans and runs a hand over his face, “Jesus Christ, Nick. Shut the fuck up.”

You step closer to the counter and lean forward, putting a hand on Nick’s shoulder.

“What did I tell you about calling me ‘sweetheart’?”

Nick tilts his head to the side and mutters, “That the next time I do it, you’ll put my head in the deep fryer.”

You pat his shoulder, “Good, you remember.”

You hear Zapata, Henderson, and Connors–who’s joined them at their table laughing and chanting do it, do it.

You gently push Nick away from the counter, “Go sit down unless you’re willing to see if I’m serious.” You look over at Benny, who no longer looks like he wants to disappear. “Benny, five coffees and a dozen glazed, right?”

Benny nods his head, “Yeah, that’s good.”

Nick turns around and starts walking towards where Connors, Zapata, and Henderson are sitting. He jerks his thumb back towards you, “She’s no fun either.”

Benny feels awkward standing here, watching you gingerly place twelve glazed donuts in a box and then pour five large coffees. It’s calming though, watching you do routine things, like you’re slowly rooting out the anxiety of being around drunk idiots. You put the coffees in a tray and place it down on the counter next to the donuts.

Benny pulls out his wallet to pay, “Uh, sorry,” he pauses, he’s sorry about a lot suddenly, “sorry about Nick. He was acting like an asshole.”

You shrug and hand Benny his change, “Don’t worry about it.”

Benny is sitting with the guys and can’t help feeling like he’s messed something up. You didn’t give him an apple fritter like you normally do. He wonders if you’re mad that he didn’t do something more when Nick was acting like an asshole. Maybe he’s overthinking it–he can’t expect you to give him a free donut every time you see him. It’s possible he’s misread the situation entirely, that you’re just friendly and nothing more. He watches you behind the counter adjusting things, bagging up donuts for customers that have come in. When Benny checks his watch for the time, he misses seeing you slip an apple fritter in a bag and write 'Benny' in a tidy script.

You watch the guys start filtering out of your place; Nick and Connors are first and from the store window you can see them getting into separate cabs. Benny is still throwing trash away as Henderson and Zapata leave. They share a cab and you imagine that maybe they rallied enough to start drinking again at 7:30am. You see Benny heading towards the door and it looks like he’s leaving without giving his usual wave goodbye. Your stomach sinks a little–maybe he’s mad at you for not joking around more with Nick or the other guys. Or it could just be that he’s tired and wants to go home and you’re creating feelings that aren’t there.

You grab the bag with the apple fritter from below the counter and hold it up, “Hey, you forgot something.”

Benny looks at the bag with his name on it–it’s the nicest handwriting he’s ever seen. He walks over to the counter and takes the bag from your hand, your fingers overlapping for a fraction of a second.

“So this means you’re not mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad at you? Wait, you think because of Nick?” You look at him strangely as he nods his head yes, “He’s the idiot, I’m not going to hold that against you.”

Benny smiles, “That’s good to know.” He starts walking away, but stops when he gets to the door, holding up the bag with the donut, “Thanks again. I’ll see you later.”

“Take care, Benny.”

—-

“You like that girl at the donut place?”

It sounds less like Connors is asking you a question and more like stating a fact. Benny’s a little caught off guard and pretends to start looking for something on his desk.

“What?”

Benny tries to sound confused, like he’s never even heard the word donut before.

“At the donut place. The girl who runs it, are you into her or something? You always act fucking weird when we’re in there.”

Benny thinks back to all the times they’ve been at Glazy for You, trying to remember his behavior. Did he look at you for too long? Say ‘goodbye’ in a way that sounded like he didn’t want to leave. Benny opens the bottom drawer of his desk and pretends to look for something.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Benny knows he doesn’t sound convincing and Connors must hear it too because he keeps going.

“Really?” Connors sounds incredulous. “You’re always lingering at the counter. She’s always giving you free donuts. Any of this ringing a bell for you?”

Benny can feel Connors staring at him. He closes the desk drawer and goes back to looking at the file on his desk.

“Maybe she likes giving away free donuts. I really couldn’t tell you.”

Connors crumbles a piece of paper into a ball and lobs it at Benny’s head, hitting him just behind the ear.

“Whatever you say asshole.”

—-

The summer goes by quickly–it’s one of your busier seasons. School is out, the weather is nice–there are day camps, company off-sites, and sleepovers. All the types of occasions where the people in charge don’t want to make breakfast but need to provide it. Benny and the guys come in a few times throughout the summer. It feels a little different from before. Benny doesn’t linger at the counter as much anymore and sometimes one of the other guys pays. It’s stupid little things that you shouldn’t notice, but you do, because they used to be part of your routine. It’s embarrassing thinking you let this crush on Benny become such a big part of your life that you’d notice he didn’t pay last time or the time before that. It’s that embarrassment that makes you start building a wall around that garden in your stomach so the flowers can’t reach your heart.

It’s the end of October when you’re opening up one morning and it registers for you that you haven’t seen Stuart since some time around June or July. His absence gnaws at you. You feel like a bad person for not noticing sooner; that feeling that you failed someone even though they weren’t your responsibility. You don’t know what to do or if there’s anything you actually can do. So when you see Benny a few weeks later it feels like a little bit of a last resort when you ask for his help.

—-

You were hoping that Benny would be the person paying this time when they all came in, so you could mention Stuart without having to pull him aside. But he doesn’t and it makes you a little anxious trying to figure out the best way to talk to him about something serious. So it’s a relief when it looks like he’s going to be the last one to leave. He’s behind Connors and when Connors makes it out the door, you stop Benny who’s close behind.

“Benny, hey. Do you have a second?”

You come out from behind the counter, nervously smoothing the apron tied around your waist in short downward strokes. Benny stops and lets the door go from his hand. You look upset and he hopes it’s not because he’s been acting standoffish lately. Ever since Connors asked about you, he’s been trying his best to act normal–whatever that means–around you.

“Did Connors’s card get declined again?”

You let out a small laugh, “No. Um, I was actually wondering if you could help me with something.”

Benny steps a little closer to you. You have some powdered sugar on your cheek and he has to stop himself from brushing it off.

“Yeah, of course. What’s going on?”

“This is probably going to sound weird, or stupid. Maybe both. But there’s this guy who h—”

Benny cuts you off; his voice is a little rougher, “If someone is bothering you, I’ll take care of it.”

You laugh awkwardly, “Oh no, it’s nothing like that. It’s this guy, Stuart. He usually hangs out around here and I have him come in sometimes for coffee or donuts and I haven’t seen him in…since maybe July, I think? I’m just a little worried.” You pause and try to read Benny’s face to see what he’s thinking, “Sorry, this probably sounds stupid to you. I don’t even know what I’m asking.”

Benny scratches his jaw piecing together what he thinks you’re getting at, “Do you know his last name?”

You notice that Benny’s voice has gone back to the soft tone that you’re used to. He’s looking at you with compassion and not like you’re stupid or some kind of burden. Benny is the kind of person that you would want helping you in a crisis and it makes you wish there were more people like him in his line of work.

“I don’t, but I printed a photo from the security camera I have.” You walk over to the counter and lean over, grabbing the photo from under the register. “I don’t even know if you can do anything with that. I watch a lot of crime shows. Don’t judge me.”

Benny laughs and shakes his head as you hand him the photo.

“I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I’ll see what I can find out.”

“Yeah of course. It’s…I don’t know. I’d feel like a bad person if something were to happen to him and I could have helped.”

Benny feels bad because he knows how these things generally end up. Usually there are no happy endings.

“You can’t put that on yourself.”

You nod your head, “I know, but still, you know?”

Benny understands the feeling and also understands it’s easier to tell someone something isn’t their fault than to know it yourself.

As Benny leaves you start to feel a bit lighter. Like someone has taken some of your worry, some of your concern and is carrying it for you; so you aren’t so weighed down.

—-

“What was that about?”

Benny is surprised to see Connors waiting for him in the parking lot.

“Nothing. Well, I guess there’s some guy, homeless, I don’t know. He usually hangs out around here. She hasn’t seen him for a while. She’s worried.”

Connors flicks a cigarette on to the pavement, “Figures she’s one of those bleeding heart types. What did you tell her?”

Benny pats his jacket and then his pants pockets feeling around for a pack of cigarettes, forgetting briefly that he’s trying to quit. Connors pulls his pack from his pocket and tosses them to Benny.

Benny pulls a cigarette out, “I told her I’d look into it.”

Connors laughs and hands Benny a lighter, “Chump.” He waits a beat for Benny to light his cigarette, “But, if you want. We can start looking into it now.”

Benny’s grateful it’s Connors out here and not one of the other guys. Benny and Connors go back further than just Major Crimes and he’s someone Benny would trust with his life.

—-

Benny’s worried that he’s going to have to deliver you bad news. Best case scenario seems like Stuart is in jail. Not great, but it would mean that he’s alive. Worst case scenario is that he can’t find Stuart and that usually doesn’t mean anything good. Benny is suddenly hoping for some kind of miracle for a person he doesn’t even know.

The photo you gave him does turn out to be useful. Connors is able to find him in the system through facial recognition. Stuart Morton has a record; a few arrests for driving while under the influence and some time in a county jail. Benny is able to get a last known address but it’s over a year old. It’s a sober living house that’s not actually that far from Glazy for You. He doesn’t have much hope that going there will bring him any closer to finding Stuart.

It takes a couple of weeks, but Benny is finally able to meet with David, the director of the sober living facility. He finds it’s better to meet with people in person. Talking with people over the phone, he’s learned, makes it easier for them to not give you the information you need. David of course is a little guarded at first with Benny; not wanting to share anything that could get Stuart in trouble, which Benny can’t really fault him for. Benny explains the situation, that the owner of a donut shop near here is worried because they haven’t seen him in a while. When Benny mentions your name to David, he lights up.

“Her glazed old fashioneds are the best ones in this entire state.” He pauses and to Benny it looks like he’s getting lost in the memory of a donut, a feeling he knows well.

“I didn’t realize you two knew each other.”

David turns away from Benny to look through a drawer in a filing cabinet, “Just this year we got to talking and she’s been generous enough to donate breakfast here every month. And recently she’s been working with us on a job training program at her bakery.”

Benny thinks back to Connors calling you a ‘bleeding heart’ and is glad he came here by himself.

“She didn’t mention anything about knowing Stuart lived here.”

David pulls a folder from the cabinet and thumbs through it, “Stuart is the type to not overshare, so that doesn’t surprise me.” He pauses to write something down on a piece of paper and hands it to Benny, “Here. This is his sister Noreen’s information. When he left, he was going to be staying with her for a while. Might still be there.”

Benny barely makes it to his car before calling the number that David gave him.

—-

“Wait, so you’re saying that Noreen, the Noreen that comes in here, is Stuart’s sister?”

It’s late in the day, near the time that you close up. You and Benny are sitting across from each other at the table near the window. It’s hard to believe what he’s telling you, that Stuart used to be a resident at the sober living facility, the one where David works; that Noreen is Stuart’s sister and somehow all these dots never got connected for you.

“She didn’t realize that you two were,” Benny pauses looking for the right word, “friends. She feels terrible that you didn’t know he had moved out of the state and were worried. She said he’s doing well.”

You’re quiet for a moment, trying to take in everything Benny has been telling you. It’s a lot to process, considering you had been preparing yourself to hear bad news. You can feel your eyes fuzzy with a few tears and feel a little embarrassed to be getting so emotional over the good news.

“It’s such a relief to know that he’s doing okay.” You feel a tear slide down your cheek and quickly brush it away hoping that Benny didn’t see it.

Benny can tell you’re trying to keep yourself from crying and he wants to tell you that it’s okay, that there wouldn’t be any judgment from him. He has the overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around you, but he knows it would be wildly inappropriate. He feels awkward sitting here, looking around, trying to figure out what he should say.

“I like the Christmas decorations you have up.” It’s lame and he knows it, but it seems better than freaking you out with a hug. You smile at him and that feels reassuring.

“You do?” You look over at Benny, nodding his head, “I know it makes me basic, but I love Christmas. The lights, the decorations, the movies, the music. Expect to see a lot of green and red frosted donuts until December 31st.”

Benny laughs, “I’m looking forward to it.” He looks at his watch and starts to get up, “I should probably leave, so you can close up.”

You get up and follow Benny to the door, you put your hand on Benny’s forearm to stop him for a second and he feels a little spark through this jacket.

“Thank you, again, for everything.”

“I’m glad I could help. And that everything turned out okay.”

You’re not sure what it is that compels you to hug him, but you do. Maybe it’s the gentleness of his voice, or how he’s looking at you in a way he hasn’t before. It feels intimate and dreamy and it’s hard for you to recall the last time anyone has looked at you like that. It happens so fast that Benny barely has time to register what happened.

It hits him as he’s walking to his car–the delayed feeling of your arms around him. It strikes Benny that maybe there’s a chance you like him, that maybe you’re both kind of stupid and clumsy, and afraid to ask the other one out. There’s the realization that one of you will have to make the first move or it will go on like this forever. That he will see you every few months at your job, that he’ll get a free donut occasionally. It’s not enough for Benny and he knows that he can’t be stupid about this much longer.

—-

It’s the last piss test party of the year–the week before Christmas. The concept is idiotic–sure it made sense at one point when Benny wasn’t wading into the deep end of forty. Going to a cheap hotel to get drunk and high, have sex with women that Nick found God knows where. It was never appealing to Benny but he used to understand the idea of celebrating after your mandatory drug test. Now he usually just sits, drinks a beer or two, and tries to avoid contact with everyone. There’s something especially depressing about it during this time of year.

Benny’s spent the last few days mulling over the best way to ask you out. He regrets not asking you when he was giving you the news about Stuart. Although there’s a part of him that thinks maybe you would have felt obligated to say yes given the circumstances. He thinks about asking you tonight, if they end up there, but he doesn’t want to do it in front of the guys because you might feel obligated then too, maybe even feeling sorry for him and not wanting to embarrass him in front of everyone by saying no. If you say yes, he wants it to be because you actually mean it, he doesn’t want there to be any room for doubt.

His decision is made for him, because when they get to Glazy for You, you aren’t there. Benny can’t remember if there’s ever been a time when you haven’t been there, behind the counter, greeting him warmly. It’s a little bit of a shock to his system to see a middle-aged man in a goofy Christmas sweater in your place. Benny’s good at thinking up doomsday scenarios and imagines one in which you’re trying to avoid him, so you no longer work this early in the morning. But then he thinks of when you hugged him and that even though it was quick, it was like your touch had gone directly to his heart. He doesn’t stay much longer, opting to go home, lay in his bed, and try to figure out what he’s going to do.

—-

You used to hate working during the holidays. Maybe it’s because you were working for other people and not yourself. Maybe it was because the work you were doing felt unimportant and people expected you to care even when everything else around you was winding down. Five years ago the thought of working on Christmas Eve would have made you want to walk into traffic. Now it feels different, like maybe you’re contributing to the holiday experience versus missing out on it entirely. You’ve always loved Christmas, but Christmas Eve is your favorite day of the year. It just feels more special somehow. There’s anticipation and excitement in the air. It’s possible it’s a product of all the Christmas movies you’ve watched over the years where there’s the idea that anything seems possible on this day. There’s something about the idea of your life changing for the better, surrounded by twinkle lights and ornaments that you find very appealing.

The morning is kind of slow–you spend most of it watching holiday episodes of tv shows on your phone. Around 11am you start cleaning up–taking trays out of cases, boxing up the donuts that are left to drop off at the comic book shop next door. You’re looking forward to going home and laying on the couch the rest of the day, queuing up your standard Christmas Eve movies. You’re ready to watch Scrooged and feel abnormally homesick, but then put on Christmas Vacation and remember why it’s never a good idea to spend Christmas with your entire family.

You’re in the back when you hear the bell on the door jingle, letting you know someone is out front. You consider just staying where you are, pretending no one is here so you can wrap up your day. You don’t want to have to tell anyone that you can’t help them with their donut emergency–getting yelled at on Christmas Eve is not something you’ve prepared yourself for today. So it’s a pleasant surprise when you make your way back out to the front and you see Benny.

“Hey, this is a—hi.” You’re not sure why you’re suddenly unable to put together a decent sentence.

Benny rubs the back of his neck with his hand, “Is this a bad time?”

“No. No, well. I mean, unless you were looking for a few dozen donuts. Then it definitely is.”

Benny smiles, “Actually, I, um, was,” he pauses and tries to collect himself, he can suddenly feel his heart beating in his ears, “I wanted to ask you out. On a date.” The feeling has spread to his skull.

When he says it, it’s almost like the words traveled through your brain and you can’t comprehend what’s actually happening. Benny, the guy you’ve been harboring your fragile middle school crush on, is here asking you out. It makes little, if any sense to you.

“Are you just trying to get more free donuts?”

Benny shakes his head no, “I promise I’m not.”

You’re quiet as you consider what he’s asked–trying to reprocess the information in your mind so that it makes sense. When all the words are finally in place and you repeat them in your mind, you feel some of those flowers that you’d walled up in your stomach starting to push through the cracks.

“Yeah, okay.” You grab a business card from the counter, write your number on the back, and hand it to Benny.

Benny’s not sure he’s ever heard anything better than yeah, okay in his life, it’s like a bolt of lightning right to his core. He puts the card with your number in the chest pocket of his jacket, the safest place he can think of.

“Great. Amazing.” Benny laughs nervously. “I need to get back to work. I’ll text you.”

“Okay. Well, have a good Christmas, Benny.”

“You too.”

Benny gives his standard small wave as he leaves and you lock the door after him. When he’s out of sight you let out a squeal and excitedly dance in place. Your phone vibrating in your back pocket interrupts you mid-happy dance.

Hey, it’s Benny. Are you free for dinner on the 27th at 7?

Benny watches dots appear and then disappear on his phone. It feels a little bit like torture as he sits in his truck waiting for you to respond.

Dinner on the 27th at 7 sounds great

Benny releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, Let me think of a place and I’ll text you the address

Sounds good. And you meant Dec 27th right?

Benny laughs to himself, Yes dec 27. I’m not going to wait until jan to take you to dinner

Just making sure 🙂

You read his last text at least ten more times before finally going back into the kitchen like you had intended. Each time you read it, there’s a sensation in your stomach like bricks dissolving and flowers blooming again.

—-

Benny texts you on the morning of the 26th with a restaurant name and an address. You already have the sense that he’s different, the type of person who has follow-through. You try to temper your excitement about dinner with him, not wanting to do that thing you sometimes do where you make something out to be more than it is. You keep telling yourself that it’s just dinner, nothing more. But as you pull up to the restaurant a few minutes late and see Benny standing outside, looking nervous in dark denim and a green flannel, you let yourself think that maybe it could be a little more than just dinner.

“Sorry I’m a little late, I hope you weren’t waiting long?”

Benny smiles when he sees you standing in front of him, “I just got here a few minutes ago.”

It’s a lie; the last one he’ll tell tonight; but he doesn’t want you to know that he was so amped up about this evening that he got to the restaurant thirty minutes early. On the way in, when you pass in front of him, your perfume delicately floats by him. It’s earthy, but slightly sweet, with cinnamon and vanilla blending neatly in–he’s sure it’s the most beautiful thing that he’s ever smelled.

It’s a French restaurant, one that you’ve never been to before, but it’s cozy and still in the Christmas spirit. There are multicolored lights strung up and silver tinsel hanging from the ceiling.

“Have you been here before?” Looking at Benny from across the table and you can see flecks of silver in his facial hair catching the light of the candle on the table.

“My sister and her husband had their tenth anniversary party here last year. Most of my restaurant choices come from wherever she has an anniversary party.”

You laugh, “Nice. Do you just have the one sister?”

Benny has just the one sister, you learn, among other things. You find talking to Benny is easy, he doesn’t give one word answers to questions like some men you’ve gone out with. Where trying to get to know them is like trying to get to know a slab of pavement. He’s funnier than you thought, something that you didn’t expect, but is a nice surprise.

“Did you always want to be a detective?”

Benny butters a piece of bread, “To be honest, the only thing I wanted to be growing up was a magician. I guess I saw one too many David Copperfield specials as a kid.”

You start laughing, “Do you know any magic tricks?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know. What about you?”

“I don’t know any, no.” You shrug jokingly as Benny laughs. “But, yeah, I guess I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to be doing. I’m lucky that things have worked out how they have.”

Benny’s curious now, “You didn’t always work in a bakery?”

“Nope. I actually used to work in tech. It’s kind of a long story.”

“Well, I’m not in any hurry to end the evening.”

There’s something about Benny that puts you at ease, that makes you comfortable enough to want to open up to him. Something that you would never normally consider doing on a first date. You don’t feel the need to downplay that you made a lot of money when a company you worked for in New York was bought out. He doesn’t flinch when you tell him that the reason you moved to California was because of your now ex-husband. He tells you about his own divorce and for the first time in a long time you don’t feel so unlike yourself on a first date. It doesn’t feel scary telling him that you felt insignificant in your own life because of your work and your marriage. That every conversation with your husband made you feel like a burden.There’s a moment when you start to apologize, out of habit, but he stops you. He smiles when you say that the divorce was the best thing to happen to you because it–and you hate to say it like this–gave you your power back.

“I always wanted to own my own business and I love donuts, so when the divorce happened, I just said fuck it, and went for it. Just threw myself into it.”

“I’m glad you did, I don’t know where else I’d get an apple fritter that good. And for free.”

“Yeah, about that.” You smile playfully, “I’m going to have to start charging you before you put me out of business.”

Benny makes a show of looking at his watch, pretending to want to leave, “I guess we should probably call it an evening then?”

He likes the way you laugh, how it’s kind of loud and fills the room. It makes him feel good, to hear you laugh, to see you smile; like he’s responsible for some bit of happiness you’re experiencing.

“See, I knew this was a scam.”

As the waiter clears the table and they wait for the check, Benny asks you what your favorite donut is.

You don’t even have to think about it, “Definitely a maple bar.”

Benny watches as your eyes light up, telling him how you first had one when you spent the summer between fifth and sixth grade visiting your aunt in Seattle. He listens to you describe how your mom was, in the nicest terms you can find, an extreme dieter, who tried her best to pass all of her food issues down to you, and never let donuts in the house. But your aunt didn’t care and the first thing she did once she would pick you up from the airport was take you to her favorite bakery. It was the highlight of every summer after that until you graduated high school. It was the first donut you learned how to make because on the east coast they’re hard to find. You laugh when you say the best part of moving to the west coast is that every donut place has maple bars, but you’d like to think that yours are the best. Benny can’t help but think it’s cute.

Benny doesn’t want the night to end; he knows that you took a cab to the restaurant so he offers to drive you home. You try not to sound too eager in accepting his offer, but fail.

“Yeah, I’d love that.”

You ask him if he wants you to put your address into google maps for directions, but he doesn’t need them. Benny spends so much time driving all over the city that he knows every street, every highway, every interstate. The map exists in his head; he can get anywhere without really having to think about it. Benny drives you through some unfamiliar, but beautiful neighborhoods. The homes are still decorated and lit up, it’s like driving through the set of a Christmas movie–the only thing missing is snow.

You ask him more about his job, the guys he works with. You like hearing the stories that Benny has about them. You can tell by the way he talks about him, that he’s closest with Connors. You finally learn everyone’s first names and how Benny got his nickname–which you had previously googled out of curiosity. You ask if it bothers him to be called a drunk.

“Knowing the shit they all get into, not really.”

He says that it doesn’t matter what they call him because he knows that in any situation they’ll have his back and he’ll have theirs. That’s what he cares about.

When he pulls up to your house; a small, one-story home, string lights along the frame and around the windows; it looks exactly like he’d imagined. You both sit quietly for a few minutes unsure what to do next.

Eventually you unbuckle your seatbelt, “I had a really good time tonight, Benny.”

“Me too. Come on, I’ll walk you to your door.” he looks over at you, “protect and serve, you know.” Benny knows it’s a dumb joke, but you laugh anyway.

When you get to the top of your steps, you find it hard to say goodbye. His face is illuminated by the Christmas lights and you can tell he doesn’t want to say goodbye either. You start to say something, you’re not even sure what, but no words come out because Benny’s mouth is on yours, his hands gently cradling your face. His lips are soft and you can feel the warmth of his tongue asking for permission. You drop your keys onto the porch and pull him closer to you by his belt loops.

It feels like hours have passed when Benny finally pulls away, “Sorry. I’ve been wanting to do that for months.”

You rest your hands on his chest, “Next time,” you gently tug on his shirt collar, “don’t wait so long.”

Benny smiles as he watches you crouch down to pick up the keys you dropped. When you stand back up, he reaches towards your face, his fingers grazing behind your ear, “Hold on, you have something in your—” Benny sweeps his fingers against your hair and when he brings his hand in front of you, he’s holding a small, folded piece of paper.

You take it from him, unfolding it. When you see the words ‘what are you doing for new years?’ written down you start grinning, “So you do still know some magic tricks.”

Benny places his hand on your neck, his thumb stroking your cheek, “A few.”

#benny magalon x reader #benny magalon x f!reader #benny borracho magalon x reader #benny borracho magalon x f!reader #borracho magalon x reader #den of thieves fic #christmas fic #holiday fic #this christmas fic

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youngpettyqueen · 1 year ago

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If you’re willing to write a ficlet, I’d love one with Hawkeye taking care of radar! (I’m a sucker for found family lol)

ironically I was thinking about this exact thing the other night and was gonna add it to the WIP list. might come back to this and expand on it at a later date but here's a little ficlet of the best brothers

Hawkeye rubs his hand soothingly over Radar's back, wincing sympathetically as the kid loses the last of his dinner. He can feel how hard he's shaking under his hand, a constant tremor running up and down his spine. Not a good sign.

He keeps himself positioned smartly, sort of like a shield between Radar and the rest of camp. Sure, they're right by the Officer's Club and someone throwing up right behind it isn't an unusual sight, but this is Radar. Radar throwing up behind the O Club would be the closest this place has ever gotten a scandal, and that gossip is the last thing he needs.

Finally, though, Radar goes quiet. Relatively quiet, at least, audibly gasping for breath but no longer heaving. Hawkeye glances over, frowning down at him as he remains doubled over with his hand planted against the wall to keep himself steady.

"You alright?" He asks.

"Uh-huh." Radar mumbles out, sounding anything but alright.

"You ready to admit you're sick as a dog?" Hawkeye follows up.

"Uh-huh." Radar concedes miserably.

Hawkeye maneuvers around a bit, keeping his hand on Radar's back but sliding the other under his front to ease him up to standing. Radar sways against him, leaning hard into his hands, so Hawkeye takes care in turning him around. He doesn't want to make him dizzy, on the off chance he has anything left in his stomach. Luckily, he doesn't seem to have anything left to give, but that's small comfort when his face looks practically green.

Hawkeye puts a hand on his forehead. Burning hot, sticky with sweat. Not surprising. "That's one hell of a fever you've got," He observes, frowning, "Damnit, Radar, you should've been on bedrest at least 5 degrees ago." He mutters. He's going to bite Potter's head right off at the neck for not making the bedrest request an order.

"'M sorry..." Radar murmurs, looking and sounding like a kicked puppy, dousing Hawkeye's ire faster than an ice cold shower.

"No, no, it's not your fault," He's quick to tell him, "Don't be sorry. I'm sorry. The most important thing right now is getting you to bed," With fluids, preferably. He casts a quick look around, then turns and hunkers down to offer Radar his back, "All aboard and all that, the Hawkeye Bus will now take you directly to your reservation in post-OP."

"I don't needa go to post-OP," Radar protests. This might have been effective if he didn't sound like a small, ailing child, and also if he wasn't actively complying and wrapping his shaky arms around Hawkeye's neck, "I've got a bed. It's a... it's a nice bed, even." He adds.

Hawkeye rolls his eyes, knowing Radar won't see him doing it. "Sure, sure," He agrees, "But it's also a very loud bed, and you're not gonna get any of the sleep you need if you've got people coming and going and waking you up at all hours," He feels Radar's weight settle against his back as he goes slack, so he reaches back and anchors his arms under his legs, "So, post-OP it is. But, look on the bright side," He pushes himself up to his feet, hunching a bit under Radar's weight but managing to keep his balance, "You'll have a pretty nurse keeping you company the whole time." He turns his head to flash him a grin.

"...Who's on duty?" Radar asks quietly.

"Bigelow." Hawkeye tells him, stilling grinning.

"...That's ok, then." Radar replies.

Hawkeye snickers. "You little fink." He teases. That little remark seems to have drained the last of Radar's energy, though, as he just drops his forehead against Hawkeye's shoulder and mumbles something completely unintelligible in response. Poor kid.

"Alright, alright," He adjusts Radar a bit on his back, settling him a bit more comfortably, "Hint taken. Bedtime." Radar's arms tighten just a touch around his neck, almost like a hug. Hawkeye's smile softens, and he gives his head a little shake before turning and heading towards the hospital. Next stop, post-OP.

Well, after a quick detour. There's a teddy bear he needs to pick up first.

#mash #fic bitching #shorts #hawkeye pierce #radar o'reilly #I reallyyyyyyy need to write Radar more I love him #I have the Fallen Idol rewrite but I need. more #my little guy #thank you for this request!#its funny timing literally the other day I wrote down in my notes to do a fic like this #you read my mind #I hope you like what I came up with!

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communistpartyofgallifrey · 3 years ago

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you know what, yesterday I was being generous, naively hopeful and giving everyone the benefit of the doubt; today I’m just angry. really angry. announcing the first black actor to headline doctor who, only to reveal a few days later that everyone’s favourite white doctor is coming back. revealing a new companion played by a trans black actress, only to reveal her to be named after fan-favourite white companion and possibly being related to other fan-favourite white companion. it really leads me to believe rtd really hasn’t grown since his treatment of Martha (here’s a good read about that) and putting him in charge of the first time the show is headlined by a black actor is a mistake.

of 10000 times less importance than the racism, I’m angry because the tenth doctor is my least favourite doctor. he’s a great doctor, I definitely see why he’s so beloved, I appreciate the tenth doctor era and I really love some of his episodes, but he’s just not *my* doctor. that’s fine. everyone has their personal preferences and he doesn’t strike my fancy. but he’s the most popular doctor, so time and time again marketing, merchandise and fan discussion pays a thousand times more attention on him than any of the other doctors and now the show is joining in on that. you don’t like 2008-era doctor who? tough luck, we’re bringing it back. you became a fan in the 11th-13th doctor era? you aren’t important enough to be pandered to, sorry xoxo. you’re a casual fan? tough luck, if you don’t know your lore, this isn’t gonna do anything for you. you aren’t a fan at all but were curious and decided to check out the show now? sorry lol, there’s literally nothing for you here. I’m making a lot of pre-emptive judgements, and I really really really hope I’m wrong, but I have no reason to believe I am.I’m very much feeling like grumpy old man angry at the kids that are happily playing outside right now. maybe I’m just salty that I’m not experiencing the fan euphoria that everyone else is. maybe if it were Eleven, Amy and Rory coming back I’d be overjoyed and calling everyone who wasn’t a hater. it’s entirely possible.

I hated the timeless children. why? because it placed way too much emphasis on doctor who lore and history and that is something the tv show should stay away from in my opinion. it should absolutely not be lore-free, don’t get me wrong, but crossing the line into fan wank should be reserved for comics, novels, big finish etc. hardcore fans can get their fix there, while the show focuses on being accessible to anyone and enjoyed by as many people as possible. Ten and Donna have been doing big finish for years now, can’t the superfans of them humble themselves and seek out expanded universe material to get their fix like the rest of us. no, of course not. because the tenth doctor is the best doctor whether you like it or not.

in summary, since a picture says a thousand words:

#rant #dw spoilers #doctor who #dw 60th #tenth doctor #donna noble #fourteenth doctor #ncuti gatwa #rtd #rtd2 #rtd salt #old man yells at cloud

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discoabc · 2 years ago

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Spark academic/rank flowchart

Made this while procrastinating on some revision lol but this is a rough view of how the school system + promotions in the Spark world work! A lot of my notes for the fic are worldbuilding and I hope to cover most of it in the actual fic but I’m also aware some of this stuff is kinda. Superfluous detail 😅😅😅

This system I do intend to expand upon in the actual fic at some point but it isn’t a spoiler by any means so this is really just to give the ppl who check this tumblr a head start on understanding some of the details of the world! I’m also gonna reserve the right to maybe tweak some details of this system later on but I’ll update this post if I do :] (also pls excuse my handwriting I was too lazy to type it all up lmao)

Aptitude test: ~6 years old, required for entry into any shinobi academy (the Academy isn’t the only academy in Konoha, just the most famous - will expand on this later in the fic!). These aptitude tests are more for non-clan kids than clan kids - they measure your chakra control + reserves to see if you could really make it as a ninja. Clan kids typically meet this criteria easily, the tests are more to catch potentially gifted civilian kids who otherwise wouldn’t become shinobi

General studies: 6-12 years old, essentially what we see in canon: students are taught basics skills in all disciplines with very little ability to specialise yet

Specialised studies: 12-16 years old. This is where for example Sakura and Kakashi took the module “Seals and their History”. Students would begin to separate out more here into their future roles, e.g. more combat focused vs support

Genin: graduate at 16 years old. The rank of your teacher is based on your grades at the academy: Kakashi for example states that Sakura performed very well and was assigned a jōnin teacher. Someone who performed less well would be assigned a chūnin teacher and then below that they would enter the genin corps where they wouldn’t really be assigned an official teacher. This is also an indicator of how far up the ranks they’re really expected to go - a jōnin teacher means you’re likely to rise through the ranks quite quickly meanwhile the highest someone could expect to obtain from the genin corps is chūnin really. Here nepotism strikes again: clan kids will pretty consistently get either chūnin or jōnin teachers

Chūnin: in the fic, Sakura was offered a promotion after only 2 years but it would typically take quite some time longer (though as someone with a jōnin teacher this wasn’t unheard of). The norm is that they are promoted through recommendation but a few would be promoted by taking part in the chūnin exams - that’s typically reserved however for the best of the best who will represent their village in the exams

Jōnin/special jōnin: as in canon, a special jōnin is a kind of inbetween rank for someone with high skills in one area but not well rounded enough to gain the rank of jōnin. If you’re given the rank of special jōnin however it is pretty likely you aren’t going to then achieve the rank of jōnin - if you were then higher ups would likely wait before recommending you to jump straight from chūnin to jōnin

ANBU: organisation, not rank, but typically hold ranks from chūnin to jōnin. Their commander is considered above your average jōnin but below both council and jōnin commander

Jōnin commander: basically no. 2 in the village to the Hokage and is the biggest indicator of who will next get the hat - if the Hokage for example died suddenly the jōnin commander would act as an interim leader. Kakashi currently holds this position (which explains why Sakura was so shocked to see him in the hospital - it was basically like the deputy prime minster suddenly dropped in on her lmao)

Council: Power equal to that of a jōnin commander though usually hold just the rank of jōnin or, sometimes, special jōnin. Can be appointed both by the Hokage and recommendation (though a significant number of people must recommend them). Don’t really change much during Hokage transitions (UK ppl think I guess House of Lords?)

Hokage: the Big Dog, the Head Honcho. Appointed by the council and the Daimyo, although the latter doesn’t really have much of a say in it (again UK ppl think royal family approving prime minster: technically allowed to say no but it is just a formality atp). Sarutobi Hiruzen is the 7th Hokage (and also the 9th if we consider him taking over after the 8th again - and yes, before you ask, I am playing with the history here >:] ). Long since rumoured he is soon to retire for a second time and have Kakashi takeover - but Kakashi isn’t the only candidate for the job.....;)

NOT SHOWN:

Konoha military police: like ANBU it is an organisation, not a rank. And also like the ANBU commander, the commander of the police is considered higher than your typical jōnin but lower than the jōnin commander. Though their commander is chosen from within the organisation NOT by the Hokage There’s a few other groups I’ve left out (e.g. how medics fit into all this) bc this would get WAY too confusing if I included everyone, but this should give a good overview of who fits in where and a little teaser of how power is distributed towards the top

#Extras #I do wonder if people can guess who else is in the running for the hat #all to say that the political situation in konoha rn is. interesting

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dissectress · 2 years ago

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welcome to tumblr!! i just found your dying light stuff and i love it. do you have any headcanons or ships for the canon characters?

hey thank you! i actually used to be pretty active on tumblr a few years ago, before the purge and when i was in high school 12 or so yrs ago. place is a little different now lol

if you’re referring to DL2 specifically then yep i have some! expand for all of it, long text incoming

disclaimer: i respect everyone’s ships, no matter what they are. i expect that respect in return, and i have no qualms with blocking those who are harassers. i know people will disagree with me, it is what it is lol.

aiden is obviously confirmed bisexual but i just don’t ship he and hakon beyond a fruity little bromance. i know unpopular opinion but i do absolutely respect everyone who ships them bc it’s clearly a popular ship, more power to u cuties. i see aiden as someone who’s very reserved and repressed about his sexuality and tries his hardest not to catch feelings, because he knows nothing has the potential to last with him, and he doesn’t want to get hurt. (ooc in my universe i ship he and my oc ayda, but less as a couple, and more of an older woman showing him the “ropes”)

hakon i view as straight but with gay little tendencies lmao. he’s definitely not a favorite of mine but for no other reason than me finding him annoying. i think he and lawan’s relationship in the game was just an unnecessary additive but i do soooo love angst. i ship hakon with himself bc he’s a narcissistic little baby who fucks any woman he can get his greedy little hands on

lawan is trans and bisexual in my eyes, ace at heart, but impossible for her to come to terms with her identity. the girl has been through so much and i think she enjoys being alone, sexually and romantically. if we’re going by canon, i see hakon taking advantage of her emotional vulnerability, and it obviously scarring her enough to become unhealthily attached. i love her and she deserves everything

waltz... i love the complete mystery surrounding him and his past because it leaves a lot to be desired, and numerous holes that can be filled with headcanons. waltz would be straight to me, and i can see him as an extreme romantic, even an unhealthily obsessive romantic. it’s hard for him to attach to someone who is not his daughter, because all of his time goes to her, but if/when he found the right woman, he would prove to be a dutiful and doting partner. (ooc in my universe i ship him with my oc panna, who was a subject of his)

miscellaneous tentative ships of mine include:

aiden/barney (i thrive on toxicity)

sophie/hermann (for obvious reasons)

sophie/hakon (hatefucking)

juan/aitor (again, the toxicity would flourish)

jack matt/aitor (love that power imbalance)

frank/lawan (controversial, i know, but obviously as adults)

i have lots more about the first game but i’ll type that one out later.

#gut answers #dying light 2 #headcanon

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writingbeary · 4 years ago

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Welcome back

“Do you think he’ll notice?” you asked looking at your reflection in the mirror. It’s been 3 months since you last saw each other personally. He’s been away for work and as much as you’re excited to finally see him and hold him in your arms, you were also not yet prepared to talk about the soon-to-be new addition to your family. You were starting to show, although still barely noticeable, but it is there. You wore a white smock dress with small flower embroidery and plan to put on some comfortable flats to go with it. It wasn’t that you were actively trying to hide the pregnancy, but you weren’t sure how your husband would react once the news hits him.

Heechul walked over laughing. “I didn’t think you’d be this worried. Why didn’t you tell him over the countless times you both talked?”

“I wanted to but I always chicken out when I see him so stressed over work. I didn’t want to add on to that.” you sighed looking over to your long-time friend.

“I’m sure he’ll be delighted. You both have also been married for what now? 3? 4 years? It’s also about time for Super Junior to actually have juniors.” Heechul grinned, shrugging a bit

“Almost 4 now. You say that but you haven’t really contributed in that sense, you old man.” you laughed, teasing him

“Yah. Must you hurt me like this? Your husband is the same age as me!” He clutched his chest dramatically “It’s just we haven’t really talked about our plans and it’s fun living just by ourselves for now. My wife is also in the peak of her career so I’d rather wait for her. Wait until my niece gets born and I’ll make sure she gets married to my son.”

“Assuming you get a son, that is. That’s true. She is also overseas for a schedule right? She was asking me what I want as souvenirs and to keep you in check.” laughing, you shook your head giving yourself one last look in the mirror before grabbing your shoes.

“I’m hurt. You both think I’m up to no good every time. Anyway you should tell him soon though, sooner or later it’ll be hard for you to move around without help. Enough about that. We should go now, I promised the other guys I’d drive you to the restaurant before 11am. Leeteuk and Siwon would arrive together from the airport while the others are already there.”

“Mhm. Don’t worry. I’ll tell him today. Besides, he’ll probably notice it even before I say anything.” Heechul chuckled agreeing with you

The restaurant was a short drive from our home, the place was reserved for the day for the guys to catch up with one another. You’ve always wondered how they could maintain their friendship through all the years so it wasn’t a surprise that they do get together once in a while. Only this time, it’s a day for a lot of events worth celebrating for: from Leeteuk and Siwon returning from overseas work, Yesung, Donghae and Eunhyuk releasing another album, Shindong expanding his business, Ryeowook finishing up another musical, and Kyuhyun finally proposing to his partner. It was also a huge day for both you and Leeteuk. Most of the guys knew about the pregnancy and they we’re all dead set on telling Leeteuk about it if you don’t soon and even if the others don’t you feel like Kyuhyun or Heechul would.

“Oh you’re here! Noona sit beside me, how is she?” Eunhyuk pulls the chair beside him patting it.

“Hyukkie-ah, you won’t get to see her until 6 months more.” you chuckled sitting down beside him

“Meet who? What did I miss?” you hear Leeteuk say surprising you and Eunhyuk. Leeteuk placed a kiss on your forehead, sitting down on your other side.

“Oh you’re here. Eunhyuk is excited to meet this cute lady.” you smile looking at your husband.

“Really? Are you going to see them?” Leeteuk grinned at Eunhyuk making the whole table laugh other than Leeteuk who is left confused.

“What’s so funny?” Leeteuk frowned looking at the others

“I think this lady is too young for me hyung.” Eunhyuk tried to answer in-between laughter.

"I'd be the first one to call the police." Kyuhyun snickered

Not understanding what is happening, Leeteuk looked at you for an explanation. "Honey, what's all this about?"

"They're not talking about a potential lover for Eunhyuk or anyone of your members." letting out a laugh then taking his hand and placing it on top of your tummy. Smiling, you raised an eyebrow trying to see if he would get it.

Leeteuk blinked, looking back and forth from your face to your tummy. "You're not joking, right? Is this what I think it is?"

You nodded. "Mhm. Before you joke around, no it's not that I gained weight."

"I wasn't about to say that! Y/N, how-...when-...why-"

"What? Hyung, you don't know how babies are made?" Kyuhyun snickered making Leeteuk send a glare at him jokingly "Not that. Since when did you know?" he pulled you into a light hug looking into your eyes.

"A few days after you left. I was at work when I felt a bit dizzy and nauseous around certain smells. I thought it was nothing until one of my coworkers told me to get examined. I got the results and have been on tight guard by your members."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to. But I didn't want to add on to your worries when you're already stressed and it's not like you can fly back right away. Sorry. I didn't mean to keep it from you" you smiled apologetically, placing your hands on too of his playing with his wedding band.

"I would have flown right back. I'm sorry I left you alone." Leeteuk sighed "Now that I'm back we have a lot of things to do and buy, Y/N."

"Believe me when I say the uncles are all enthusiastic when they found out. They've been a huge help that I didn't have much to do. Apparently, being pregnant also means that I cannot drive or go somewhere alone to these people." you glared playfully at the members while they raise their protest saying they didn't want to get killed if something happened to you while Leeteuk was away and that they're pretty much the child's uncle.

Leeteuk chuckled thanking the members. "I'm still sad that I only found out now. I missed a lot of moments. I need to make it up to you and our little angel."

"There'd be plenty more and I'm holding on to that once it gets more difficult or if I crave anything." you joked poking his arm

He let out a laugh nodding "I'll do my best."

"Also, you'll have to be the one to tell In-young unnie and you'll have to come with me to visit my parents."

Chuckling, Leeteuk pulled you pulled you closer before leaning in to whisper to your ear "Thank you honey. I'll be an even better husband to you.I love you."

"I'd say get a room but you already have one on the way so there's no need for that." Heechul grinned, making everyone laugh.

"Welcome back honey." you smiled placing a kiss on his cheek

━━━━━━ʕ ˵• ₒ •˵ ʔ━━━━━━

Writing Beary Corner:

this was in my drafts since last week but i didn’t know how to finish it or who to use as characters lol there was a lot to consider when i was writing this and i end up redoing the whole thing over and over again O3O hopefully you'll still enjoy this though!

-Mimi

#kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #super junior x reader #suju x reader #fem!reader #pregnancy #written work #writing beary #kpop imagines #oneshot #suju leeteuk #park jungsoo

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mostly-marvel-musings · 4 years ago

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We were on a break - Chapter 4

A/N: I had plans on expanding this chapter but decided against it. The series may be longer lol.

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader

Warnings: Strong language, angst, injuries.

Word count: 1198

Series Masterlist

Series Taglist – @shipatheart @tone-stark @thevanishedillusion @kaestatic @lieswithoutfairytales @booktease21 @panicattheeverywherekid @taina-eny @infirebaby @buttercandy16

Tony Stark Taglist - @raspberrymama @ladyeliot @boop-le-snoot @make-a-memory-drink-it-up @loveisallyouneed1125 @ownsmyheart @anthonyjanthony666 @downeyreads

Everything Taglist – @godofplumsandthunder @ladyacrasia @agustdowney @swaggysposts @littlegasps @little-baby-vixen @another-stark-sub @supraveng @kahlanmars @marvelgirl7 @disappointmentofthefam @pandaxnienke @tom-hlover @just-the-hiddles @fyreball66 @asmigurub @avantgardium-leviosa @imerdwarf

Tags are open! If you wish to be tagged in future chapters, OR removed from any of the lists, send me an ask.

…

“Do we have an audio on the Presidential Suite yet?”

You were pacing around your hotel suite, while Clint and Ward tried to get an audio-visual on Andrew Leeds’ suite that was located less than 500 metres away from where you were living in Four Seasons. His room was bugged by the team on the same night you arrived in Seychelles. Miniature voice recorders disguised as extra room cards were set up, apart from that you needed a visual on people in Leeds’ close circles to effectively take out and/or take into custody.

“We will. Patience (Y/L/N).” Clint answered, glancing at you while his fingers flew over the computer.

“I still think we should go old school.” Grant stood up and joined you, placing his hands on your shoulder to halt your marching.

“Leeds isn’t stupid Ward.”

“As a matter of fact he is. Trust me I know him, he’s never once missed an opportunity to get into the pants of beautiful women when he’s on holiday.” He seemed shifty-eyed over what he’d just said.

“What do you mean you know him?”

“I meant I know his type. Hydra’s after his money and he is nothing but a walking wallet. Killing his men won’t get you the information we need that charming him with your personality will. Hydra won’t waste any time in discarding the man after they’re done and we’ll be left with nothing.” Ward stated matter-of-factly, his expression hiding his true intentions but for some reason you decided to trust the man. He was a senior and had much more experience than you did plus it was your first time leading a mission.

“Are we going with the birthday protocol then?” Clint chimed in, leaving you frowning between the two men.

“We sure are.”

“What birthday protocol? Excuse me what have you been planning without keeping me in the loop?” you were mildly irritated at this point.

“Nothing. Get some rest (Y/L/N). Big day tomorrow.”

“Wake up birthday girl.”

You mumbled ‘go away’ before turning away from the source of noise and pulling the blankets over your head in attempts to go back to sleep. Unfortunately Tony was having none of it, the sheets were off your body in one swift motion exposing your half naked body to the cold air of the room before Tony climbed on top of you, poking you till you whined and opened your eyes.

“There she is. What would the birthday girl like to do today?”

Tony wasn’t usually this chipper so early in the morning, hell he was never in bed with you on most days so seeing him in this jovial mood was heart-warming, though you wished he’d wake you up a little later.

“I’d like to sleep please.” You stated with a pout that didn’t last long as Tony kissed that pout lovingly.

“Okay we can sleep but not before I give you your present.” With that he began littering your face with kisses while his hands tickled your sides making your squirm and giggle, there was no escaping as he had you pinned underneath him. You grabbed his wrist as he reached your panties, very aware of what that ‘present’ was.

“Last time I checked it was my birthday Tony.”

Now it was his turn to pout while you shook your head at his antics.

“But it’s not every day you have Iron Man going down on you.”

You hit his face with a pillow before rolling him off the bed, laughing as you ran to the bathroom, leaving a shocked looking Tony on your bedroom floor.

Your eyes opened to the sounds of seagulls in the distance along with waves crashing against the rocky beach that was visible from your hotel window. A sight you could watch for hours, you could if you wanted to, it was your birthday after all and you were free to do whatever the hell you wanted.

Your phone kept buzzing with texts from people you knew, a few missed calls from your friends and family who’d called at midnight but you hadn’t picked up, having gone to bed early and on purpose to avoid exactly that. You read the texts one by one while treating yourself to a nice soothing bath, the one from Barton and Grant Ward intriguing.

Morning birthday girl! See you downstairs for breakfast. Wear something fancy!

Sun shone brightly, the air humid and balmy as you entered the lobby looking for your friends. The woman at the front desk informed you that there was a reservation under your name at the cabanas lining the beach just out front.

Noisy waves crashed against the rocky beach mercilessly, foaming before returning back to the ocean quietly, the warm breeze flapping your dress behind you, the fabric clung to your skin as you strolled towards a noisy group you could only assume were your friends.

“There she is!”

In seconds you were surrounded with people gathering you in bone-crushing hugs, shouting birthday wishes and pushing you towards the table laid out with delectable looking food and mimosas and quite a rustic looking birthday cake. It took you a couple of minutes to recognize Nat in her undercover avatar, surprised that she’d actually flown here to celebrate with you.

“You really didn’t have to do this guys. Thank you so much!” grinning from ear to ear, you looked around at their happy faces, grateful to be able to call them your friends, family even.

“As expected (Y/L/N), our bugs were found and promptly destroyed last night.” Ward stated, a smug look on his face.

“Okay no mission stuff right now. It’s her birthday.”

“Go on then, cut the cake. We’re starving!” Clint exclaimed, giving you a little shove towards the table after handing you a knife while Natasha placed a tiara made with twigs and small flowers on your head.

“Did you make this cake Barton? Is it safe to eat?” you joked, before cutting a small piece and offering it to him. Clint glanced at Natasha for a brief moment before taking a bite and grimacing. Natasha laughed nervously before feeding you a piece, an overpowering taste of vanilla filled your mouth making you pull a face. This couldn’t have been store-bought, someone made this cake for you. For a second your mind flitted towards Tony, his attempts to make you breakfast in bed that had led to you throwing up after eating his pancakes and a storm-swept kitchen.

Everyone busied themselves with food, leaving your enquiry unanswered and soon you dropped it, realising you were famished.

Back at your suite, a rather expensive bottle of Dom Perignon was sent with a personalised note card from Andrew Leeds who had his eyes on you from an adjacent cabana next to the infinity pool. The bottle received by a bewildered Tony Stark who was pacing around your room, awaiting your return and praying you had found his handmade cake somewhat palatable.

#tony stark series #we were on a break #tony stark x reader #tony stark fanfiction #iron man series #iron man fanfic #tony stark angst

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florrickandassociates · 4 years ago

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TGF Thoughts: 5x01- Previously on...

Welcome back!! I’m so excited to be writing one of these again. I think this hiatus has been the longest I’ve gone without new Diane Lockhart content in ten years, and it sure feels like it. A lot of important stuff has happened in the time since TGF season four ended (not concluded—ended). Most notably, CBS All Access became Paramount+ and suddenly started offering a lot of content I care about! I kid. 2020 was quite an eventful year, so I was curious how television’s most topical show was going to take it on. TGF is always forward-looking, but too much happened in 2020 to be ignored. And while I didn’t think TGF would have much to say about the pandemic, it seemed impossible to imagine a season five that pretended it never happened. Going into this premiere, I was expecting that they’d either skip COVID entirely or include very few references, but after seeing this episode, I feel like the writers took the only approach that made sense. And that is why they are the writers, and I'm just some girl on the internet who writes recaps.

Anyway, before I dive into the episode, I should also note that my pandemic boredom spurred me to actually pay $30 to watch this episode early as part of the virtual ATX Festival. Yes, I paid $30 on top of the money I spend every month on Paramount+ for this show. But I write tens of thousands of words about each TGF episode—are my priorities really that surprising? I note this not to brag or even to poke fun at myself, but because watching the episode before I knew a single thing about it (not even the title!) completely changed my viewing experience. I’ve never had an experience like this with TGW or TGF. I’m one to search for critics tweeting cryptically about screeners and refresh sites looking for background extras (haven’t done this in the TGF era, though) and read every single piece of press I can find. For any big episode, I usually know the outline of what to expect going in (I even knew about Will before the episode aired in the US!). Not this one! So, I got to be surprised, and I had to—gasp—formulate my own opinions before I knew what anyone else thought! It was really pleasant, actually. I think the structure of the episode worked extremely well for me because it caught me by surprise... and also because I’m the kind of person who somehow managed to write a college paper about Previously On sequences.

I see Tumblr has made it so that “keep reading” expands the post in your dash instead of opening a new tab. I absolutely hate this. Here is a link to the post you can click instead of the keep reading button!

The ATX stream started mid-sentence, meaning I missed the “Previously On... 2020...” title card and skipped right to Adrian saying “I’m retiring.” It was pretty easy to pick up on the device (the directness of the scenes at the start, their cadence, and their placement in the episode made it clear this was meant to mimic a Previously) but the second title card hit way harder because... well, I had no idea if this was meant to be 2020 or some moment outside of real time until a bit later in the episode.

Man, before I get any farther into this, two things that I don’t know where else to put. First, this episode had to cover so much ground. They had to write out both Adrian and Lucca—more on that later--, figure out how to deal with all of 2020, figure out how to either wrap up or continue all the truncated season 4 plotlines, and set the stage for a new season... in 50 minutes.

Second, just wanna shout out the Kings’ other Paramout+ show, Evil, which you should absolutely be watching even if you hate horror. Evil is a Kings show, so it is unsurprisingly topical (sometimes evil takes the form of racism or misogyny or Scott Rudin) and at times very, very funny. I would be recapping it if Paramount+ weren’t attacking me personally by airing it at the same time as TGF. Ever hear of too much of a good thing, people?! (On that note, I am VERY upset with myself for not having made a Good vs Evil joke about the Good shows and Evil. I didn’t even think about it until Robert King made the joke on Twitter, and it was right fucking there. How did I fail so miserably?!)

So STR Laurie, who wants a 20% downsizing, is still a thing. Noted.

This scene with Landau is the only one in this previously that is actually old footage, right?

Unexpected Margo Martindale! Yay! (Ruth Eastman is a character who is so much more effective on Fight than she was on Wife and I’m quite glad they’ve had her appear on Fight several times. It kind of redeems season seven. Kind of.)

I don’t think the writers intentionally chose for Adrian’s book deal to be with Simon & Schuster because it is the most politically fraught publisher (the number of stories about controversial memoirs they��ve picked up in 2021 alone...) but I kind of like that Adrian’s Road Not Taken involves S&S. My guess is they chose S&S because it is owned by ViacomCBS.

“Years ago, I wanted to create a law firm run entirely by women, but it never worked out. So, why not now?” Diane says to Liz. One of the advantages of having twelve (!!!) seasons of Diane Lockhart is that we’ve seen what she’s talking about. And we’ve seen her put this idea forward multiple times, too. I have my reservations about Diane’s brand of feminism, and I’ll say more about how fraught a Diane/Liz firm would be as the show explores the potential issues there, but on the surface I’m kind of excited about the prospect of a Diane/Liz led firm. Diane has wanted this for ages, Liz is a good partner, and this actually makes sense (unlike the nonsensical Diane/Alicia alliance of late season seven, where the only rationale was “well, Alicia needs to betray Diane in the finale, but they’re not on good terms. So maybe we make them business partners so then the betrayal stings more?”). Plus I fully love that Diane would end up running a firm with Alicia’s law school rival.

(Has TGF mentioned that Liz and Alicia were law school rivals? No. Am I still clinging on to that as a large part of Liz’s character? ABSOLUTELY.)

Julius is on trial for Memo 618 reasons; Diane is defending him. So this is still happening. (There’s more old footage here.)

Do they put these references to one/two party consent in these episodes as a wink at the fans? It has to be intentional. (Please do not ask me what the actual law is on this, this show has thoroughly confused me.)

I knew Cush was filming stuff for TGF, but I didn’t know it was for the premiere. She was just posting about it a few weeks ago, so either they shot a lot of it right before air or she posted a while after filming. Anyway, yay Lucca!

Bianca’s still around. And, TGF gets to shoot New York for New York, since Bianca is there. I do wish TGF could do more location shoots; there’s something about seeing an actual skyline that feels more real.

Bianca wants Lucca, who has never been outside of the country (except to St. Lucia, as Bianca reminds her) to go to London and buy her a resort. It’s supposed to be a three week stay and Bianca’s already arranged childcare. Speaking of children, because of COVID and filming constraints, that’s Cush’s real kid in this scene! You can’t really see him, but I recognized his curly hair from Cush’s Instagram, and the Kings confirmed in an interview.

Adrian wants to write a book about police brutality cases he’s worked on. Ruth very much does not want him to write that book. She wants him to write a book without substance about how white people and black people can work together. He, understandably, has no interest in writing this book. (Also, you can see in the background that Ruth doesn’t think Biden’s odds of winning the Democratic primary are good—there is a big down arrow next to his picture, which definitely dates this scene.)

Oh, David Lee is in this episode. He acts like an asshole towards Marissa when she’s trying to help him.

Marissa, not happy with the lack of respect, calls Lucca for advice “for a friend.” Lucca mentions she’s in London and Marissa does not believe her and keeps going on and on about her frustrations and her new desire to become a lawyer—quickly.

Marissa wanting to become a lawyer because she “hates being talked down to” is not a plot I would’ve expected but it’s also one that makes a lot of sense. I think Marissa’s used to being respected and praised even when she’s doing things that aren’t glamorous, so I see how she’d get very restless when she’s no longer outperforming expectations and is instead taken for granted.

Bells toll in the background on Lucca’s side and Marissa asks where she is. Lucca again notes she’s in London and Marissa still doesn’t believe her.

I’m going to miss Lucca so much, especially since we’ll also be losing a lot of the Millennial Friendship scenes with her. Cush is fantastic (even if she never really got enough to do here) and she plays so well off of the rest of the cast. I even sometimes liked the writing for Maia (who?) when she had scenes with Lucca, Lucca is that good.

Jay wakes up sweating and unable to breathe, so he deliriously calls his father-figure Adrian. This whole scene is shot like something out of Evil and (I’m getting ahead of myself here) this plot is the only thing about this episode I felt was a misstep.

“I think you’re my father,” Jay says to Adrian. Heh, I didn’t catch this line the first time around (maybe subliminally I did, since I just called Adrian his father figure lol) but I love that it is included here. Adrian and Jay’s relationship definitely deserves a goodbye.

Adrian calls an ambulance and also gets to Jay before the ambulance somehow. Adrian notes that Jay might have “this thing from China” and... we’re doing the pandemic, y’all. (Minor nitpick: on March 13th, 2020, when this scene is dated, COVID was not “this thing from China”-- we were all aware of it. March 11th was the day Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson announced they’d tested positive and the NBA shut down and travel was restricted and every single brand that had my email sent me a message about their plans and measures. March 12th was the last time I was in my office, and we’d been getting emails telling us to wash our hands and prepare to work remotely for weeks. I went to San Francisco in mid-late February and distinctly remember deciding to leave a burrito unattended on a table while I washed my hands because I was paranoid about COVID... and then I remember making a specific trip to Walgreens to buy hand sanitizer so that didn’t happen again. My point is, Adrian lives in the same world I do. On March 13th 2020, he would not be treating COVID like it was some new thing he’d vaguely heard of.)

(I am going to nitpick this timeline, but please know that I’m only doing it because I can, not because I think it’s necessarily a bad choice. Lines like this do feel a little forced, but I see the reason for introducing COVID as something new rather than going for the line that’s exactly historically accurate. I also am pretty sure there are references to dates in March/April in s4 of TGF that are now going to be contradicted by this episode, but I truly do not care. The writers get a pass on this one.)

We skip slightly back in time to the beginning of March after the MARCH 13TH title card, or maybe this is supposed to be after March 13th and my own memories are preventing me from believing these face-to-face interactions were happening. Who knows.

Michael Bloomberg is... here, again, I guess? He asks Diane to assist with a Supreme Court case about gun control. I guess it does add some weight to the plot and make the stakes feel higher.

Oh hey, this case is the 7x17 case!!!! Love that continuity.

Diane and Adrian are both at the office late, working, and there is an unnecessary split screen that feels even more unnecessary when you consider that the editing alone was enough to create the parallel.

Diane and Adrian have a nice convo (which I’ll really miss, their dynamic is great and this really feels like a successful partnership) as they wait for the elevator. When the elevator dings, they nearly tumble down into nothingness because... the elevator never came. Apparently this is a reference to an law old show I’ve never seen that killed off a character this way, and it’s meant to be a wink at how they are not going to kill off Adrian.

I do not know why I remember this, but I do: after they killed off Will, a critic (Noel Murray; I just googled to confirm my memory) who didn’t want to spoil things tweeted, “Exactly 23 years and 2 days ago, Rosalind Shays fell down an elevator shaft.” Please tell me why I remember this reference that I didn’t even understand well enough to have tracked down the original tweet in under a minute. (https://twitter.com/NoelMu/status/447942456827326464)

Back on this show, Diane and Adrian share a drink and talk about their wishes. Diane wants to argue in front of the Supreme Court, and Adrian encourages her to speak up. His own near-death experience motivates him to trash the book Ruth has him writing, and Diane trashes the (bad) legal strategy someone else prepared for the Supreme Court.

DIANE IS WEARING JEANS!!!!!! Tbh, I think my favorite part of this episode is how many slice-of-life scenes and settings we get. These are always my favorite moments. I love the satirical and political stuff too, but the character moments are what get me invested enough to write these. (Yes, Diane in jeans constitutes a character moment.)

Diane tells Bloomberg she wants to be involved and advocates for herself. Kurt gets a call on their landline (hahaha) from Adrian.

God, I love Diane and Kurt. Not only is their banter fun, you can just see a different, more relaxed side of Diane in these scenes. Diane tells Kurt she has good news for herself, but bad news for him since she’s arguing for gun control. She asks him to help her prep for court, too.

So this is before Jay is rushed to the hospital, because now we are back at the hospital with Julius, Diane, and Marissa. I do not believe any of these people would be setting foot in a hospital like it’s any other day on March 13th, 2020. But I'm trying not to nitpick.

I get why they chose to give Jay a rather severe case of COVID. I just don’t get literally anything else that follows from the initial shock of Jay having COVID.

I see why the writers chose March 20th (the actual Illinois stay at home order) as the next date for this timeline. I still do not believe that people were in this particular office on that date.

You know what else I don’t believe? That RBL just shut down for two weeks and was like, no work is being done. Did law firms really do this? I can believe it if it’s an excuse to cost-cut, and I know there were massive layoffs, but this seems... really weird???

Why are they setting up a teleconferencing infrastructure (didn’t they have one at LG? In season five?) if they are not planning to do work?

Lol Diane explains what Zoom is, very slowly. She asks everyone to “download a program called Zoom.com” which is one of the first Zoom jokes I’ve chuckled at in a while.

Marissa is not happy to hear that there’s no work for her in a work-remote world (this I believe 100%), so she calls Lucca again with more questions about law school.

Love these NYC and London location shots. Wish they could do that for Chicago.

Lucca asks Bianca to help get Marissa into a law school, fast, and Bianca tells Lucca to use her name... then offers her a job.

Marissa is at the office, alone, boxing up her things, when one of the office phones rings with some dude offering her a spot in a law school class. I guess we are really all-in on this! (Why would Lucca have given a firm phone number not specific to Marissa, though?)

Adrian and his corrupt girlfriend decide to shelter in place together. I still do not understand why he is okay with her being corrupt. I also don’t really understand why they’re going from talking about sheltering-in-place to George Floyd. How did we just skip from late March to late May? Are Adrian and corrupt gf having a conversation about sheltering-in-place two months into sheltering in place?

Okay, I am not doing so good at this no-nitpicking thing. Again, I understand why they need to merge several scenes into one to keep things moving. And I guess they could just be getting around to this conversation.

I’m going to nitpick again, I can’t help myself. How did we just go from a scene of Adrian specifically talking about sheltering in place to a scene of Adrian bursting into a bustling and maskless DNC headquarters room? How!? The only masks in this scene are on TV!! There are like ten people in this scene!

Anyway, more importantly, Adrian tells Ruth off and screams at her that she needs to listen to him instead of acting like she knows the way forward. He is completely right.

Why is travel from London closing down in May 2020? Is it because this scene is supposed to be at a different place in the episode? Liz is asking Lucca to come back home from her three week stay in London (which has now lasted three months but travel is just now closing down), and Lucca’s hesitant to come home.

This is all happening via Zoom, btw. Lucca’s in her hotel, Diane and Adrian are at their respective homes, and Liz is in the office. All of this feels right. There is a chat off to the side of the screen where you can see Adrian and the others discussing how to unmute on Zoom. Very real. Though probably not very real in late May 2020. Feels more like April. I am convinced this scene got spliced in later to help the episode flow because everything in this scene (except the TV footage that definitely was added later) feels like it should be happening in the March section.

Lucca mentions that Bianca offered her a job, and at this point we as viewers know how things are going to go—Lucca's going to end up taking it. Liz types in the Zoom chat that they don’t want to lose Lucca. When Lucca tells them how much Bianca’s offering ($500k/year, go Lucca!), Diane types “Shit.” into the chat. “Shit’s right,” Liz replies. “Yes... What should our counter be?” Diane replies. Lucca is kind enough to point out the messages are not private (again, this feels like March not May) but I think knowing that their reaction to topping $500k is “shit” tells her all she needs to know.

Diane’s background still says that RBL is a division of STR Laurie. Weird how little we are hearing about the overlords except the 20% staff cut.

Liz and Adrian chat and decide the only way to keep Lucca is to make her a partner. Which, yeah, if you’d just made her a partner years ago when you told her she was in the running for partner and then offered it to fucking MAIA, maybe she wouldn’t be considering Bianca’s offer. Lucca is definitely one of RBL’s stars, and I don’t think she’s wrong to feel like they don’t value her enough. They treat her well enough to be upset about losing her, but not well enough to have already made her partner and not well enough to actually give her authority (even though she runs a whole department). I’d be pretty unhappy too. It kind of feels sometimes like they take her for granted, and I don’t know that Lucca is one to feel like she owes a company anything. She’s more of an “I’m out for myself” type.

Madeline and the other partner we’ve seen a few times who isn’t Liz/Diane/Adrian, walk into the office (wearing masks! Which they take off as soon as they enter a room with Liz! Without asking her if she is okay with this! TV logic!) and ask who is replacing Adrian. They think this is a good time to reevaluate having a white name partner of an African American firm, and they are spot on. Liz tries to deflect, noting that Diane is already a name partner and was before Liz even joined, but Madeline and other partner (whose name I really wish they would say so I can stop calling him “other partner”) won’t let up. Their position is that Diane shouldn’t have been made a name partner then—all she did was bring in ChumHum, an account that quickly left the firm. Good point.

“What is this firm if it’s not African American? It’s just another midsized all-service Midwestern law firm, one of 50,” Madeline argues. The other partner says Liz needs to remove Diane and promote two African Americans to name partner. Liz laughs and asks if they mean themselves. Madeline does not—she's concerned about the number of black associates they’re letting go. Liz heads out, but this conversation is very much ongoing.

And I think it’s a very interesting dilemma! There’s a lot of mileage the writers can get out of this, because I don’t think there’s a right answer or a wrong one. It’s all about what Liz decides she wants the future of the firm to be. If Liz chooses Diane, she might be choosing something that works for her personally or that she thinks is a safer financial bet—but she’ll be choosing to work at a firm that can no longer be thought of as a black firm, and she’ll be choosing to move away from her father’s vision for the firm. And since the plot hinges on what Liz will decide rather than what’s objectively the right path forward, there’s a lot of interesting tension there I can’t wait to see.

(My favorite thing about Adrian leaving is that Liz will likely get more to do, especially when it comes to managing the firm. Adrian tends to speak up first, but Liz is more than capable of managing without him and I’m so excited to see what she does when her ex-husband isn’t constantly talking over her.)

Marissa and Lucca video chat with Jay. He’s still in the hospital. One thing that bugs me about how this episode handles COVID is that I never really get the sense that any of the characters are particularly afraid of the virus. Maybe none of them were. But you’d think you’d see a little of that fear, the weird dance of trying to assess others’ comfort levels with masking, etc., in an ep specifically about living through this time. ESPECIALLY since someone they all know and are close to has been hospitalized for MONTHS with this thing! It’s just so weird to go from a scene where people wear masks until they come in contact with other people (when masks matter the most) to a scene of someone in the hospital with COVID.

And now Jay’s weird hallucinations start as his battery dies on the video chat. I really, truly, hated these hallucinations. I was ready to be done with these from the second they started. They’re weirdly shot, they go on for too long, and they feel like the clunkiest parts of Mind’s Eye when Alicia starts having a debate in her mind about atheism mixed with the (far superior) hospital episode of Evil.

I don’t have much to say about these hallucinations except that I hated them a lot. When there’s the reveal that Jay is hallucinating a commerical, I almost came around on the hallucinations because that’s kind of funny and inspired. And then several more hallucinations popped up and they had a round table and Jesus got added to the mix and I was like, nope, this is bad in a very uninteresting way. I reject this.

I feel like the Kings didn’t have much to say about COVID, the actual virus. This episode is definitely more about what the characters’ lives were like during COVID and not the pandemic itself. I think they likely got a lot of their COVID commentary out of their system with their zombie COVID show The Bite (I have not seen The Bite due to it airing on Spectrum On Demand, which I have no way of accessing. Like, I would have to move and then decide to pay for cable in order to watch it.) I also suspect a lot of their commentary on COVID isn’t going to be specific to the virus and is instead going to be about things like mask-wearing and vaccinations becoming political. And, really, that’s just a new variation on talking about polarization... and they’ve been talking about polarization for years.

In fact, they even wrote a whole series about an outbreak of a (space-bug-spread) virus that caused political polarization before Trump was even elected. BrainDead is basically commentary on the pandemic before the pandemic even happened. Soooooo I get why they are more interested in recapping 2020 than in doing a Very Special Episode about themes they’ve been talking about for years. (I still think they would’ve benefitted from at least one character being afraid of getting sick or getting their family sick.)

There is likely some interesting content in these Jay hallucinations. I hate them so much I cannot find it. You know when you’re just on a completely different wavelength than the writers? This is an example of that.

Also I’m not a fan of the shadowy directing. I think this is meant to look cooler than it does.

Have I mentioned yet that I absolutely love the “Previously On” device for this episode? It’s such a fun, propulsive way to get through the slog of 2020. Scenes can be short and to the point, and each scene has to do a lot of lifting to fill in the gaps. I think that leads to scenes that are better constructed and telling on lots of levels—where are people when they’re quarantined? Who’s wearing casual clothes and when? What about this scene defines this character’s life at that moment in time?

Bizarrely, even though this episode is pretty much all plot (this happens! Then that!), I actually found this to be one of the most character-driven episodes TGF has ever done. There’s a lot of story, but most of that story is about how the characters reacted to 2020 rather than overarching plots that will weigh on the rest of the season. This episode covers a lot of ground, but it does it with character moments that resonate.

Now it’s July and Diane’s prepping to argue in front of the Supreme Court. Kurt’s helping her witness prep and it gets a little personal... and that ends up turning Diane on. Good to see McHart hasn’t lost its spark. (Remember how Kurt cheated on Diane in season 7 of Wife? No, me neither, because that never happened.)

Corrupt judge is back. Adrian playfully tries to distract her from work. Then he takes a video call from Liz, who updates him on the conversation she had with John (so that’s his name) and Madeline. I guess that part of May was close to July? Anyway, Adrian isn’t surprised to hear that people are upset at the prospect of Diane being one of two name partners.

Liz is at the office in workout clothes and I love it!

They’re losing 15 black associates (and Adrian and Lucca) and 4 white ones, Liz says. This sounds like a very big problem. (I’d be curious to know what that is as a percentage of the firm and how the racial composition shifts.)

Liz knows it’s not exactly up to her if Diane stays on as name partner (the other partners get a vote, but I think Liz knows she has a lot of sway here). She’s also wondering if Biden could win, and if so, would it be to the firm’s advantage to be black-owned? Interesting.

“Well. If you’re thinking it, then Diane’s thinking it, too,” Adrian says. He’s right. “White guilt. It runs verrrrry deep on that one, huh?” Ha. He is right about that, too. I actually can’t decide which of these interpretations is correct, because it could be either even though they seem contradictory. (1) Is Adrian saying it with a hint of mockery because he knows Diane will fight for her partnership even as she would say she’s a huge supporter of black businesses? (2) Is he saying it because he knows Diane would have enough white guilt to realize what her presence as a partner means and think through the implications? I think it is, somehow, a combination. I’m interested in this line because this whole dilemma (from Diane’s POV) is something that’s very familiar. Diane’s always been an idealist who will betray her ideals for personal gain. That sounds like an attack, but I mean that as neutrally as I possibly can. There are so many examples of this that this is kind of just a character trait of hers at this point. Usually those ideals are about feminism, but this situation seems closely related.

Adrian overhears Corrupt GF talking about Julius, Diane, and Memo 618. You would think she would wait to have this conversation until there is no chance of Adrian overhearing, because if Adrian overhears, he might...

... do exactly what he proceeds to do and hop into a car with Diane to give her a heads up. (I think I’m just going to have to accept that the mask usage rule on this episode is “we use masks to show that the characters would wear them, but we don’t want to have scenes where characters are fully masked because that’s annoying.” If that’s not the rule, then why else would Adrian be masked outside... and then take off his mask as soon as he gets into a confined indoor space with Diane?

Baranski looks ESPECIALLY like Taylor Swift in this scene.

Adrian tells Diane what he knows. He dug deeper after overhearing Charlotte, so he has even more info. “If you tell me, I will use it,” Diane warns. Adrian knows that, so he takes a moment to decide. And he decides that he cares more about Diane and Julius than about his relationship with a corrupt judge.

Diane and Julius are masked in court. Visitor and the judge are not. They use masking in a clever way in this scene: Diane uses being masked to her advantage because it means no one can possibly read her lips, so she can use the info Adrian fed her against Charlotte without any fear of spies. Charlotte, who is unmasked, guards her lips with a folder, as the Visitor watches interestedly.

Diane convinces Charlotte to recuse herself. Charlotte says she’s making a mistake; Diane does not care.

The new judge is, unfortunately, the idiot who doesn’t know anything about the law. Uh oh.

Charlotte decides she’s done sheltering in place with Adrian. He tries to talk through the conflict, but Charlotte says “You made your choice, Adrian. Julius Cain over me.”

“The choice was about right and wrong, Charlotte,” Adrian tries to explain. I mean, yeah, but if you’re dating a judge who has admitted she’s totally corrupt, didn’t right and wrong go out the window a while ago?

Adrian seems to think the other people involved in the events are bad and Charlotte is good. I am not convinced. I don’t think she’s the big bad, but I don’t think she’s good.

Charlotte points out that he invaded her privacy. She is right about that. “You said the choice was between right and wrong. Turning over my emails was the choice,” she said. I get her POV. But also, she is corrupt.

I do not like the way the part of the scene where Adrian physically restrains Charlotte to keep her from leaving is shot. I don’t think this is an abusive scene but I think it should’ve been shot from a little farther back so we could see it’s more like Adrian reaching out in desperation than trying to choke Charlotte. Because it very much looks like he is trying to choke Charlotte.

He tells Charlotte he loves her. She says it’s too late and leaves. “Maybe you won’t be with me. But you keep down this path... you’ll be done, I’m telling you, you’ll be done.”

I think something that I’ve been missing in these interactions is that I didn’t quite realize until this scene that the Adrian/Charlotte dynamic is more interesting than Adrian liking a corrupt judge. I think he truly believes Charlotte is a good person who got caught up in some bad stuff, and that she can bounce back from it. I’ve always seen Charlotte as someone who is corrupt for herself and then ended up going along with the corruption of others, too, so I’ve dismissed her and the relationship. This is the first scene that has felt real to me, and the first scene where she’s felt like more than a caricature. Kind of sad it’s the last she’ll get with Adrian—now I’m actually starting to find her interesting. Notice how in these last few sentences I’ve used her name instead of “Corrupt GF”!

Charlotte says she loved Adrian too, but that’s not enough. Awww.

He can’t really be surprised though, can he?

Now it is August and we get to see Diane and Liz react to the announcement of Kamala Harris as Biden’s VP pick, and I would like to thank the writers for giving me the opportunity to see Diane and Liz react to this. It��s kind of fan-service, but it’s also a nice tie-in to the girl-power theme of the Diane/Liz alliance.

Diane and Liz realize that Adrian’s probably not a good candidate for 2024 if the DNC only wants one black candidate and Harris is the clear front-runner. Liz suggests keeping him on as partner instead, in a way that very much implies this would be her ideal solution. Diane, being Diane, says she was liking the idea of an all-female firm. Liz hesitantly says she was too, and Diane senses the hesitation.

“Let’s look again at which associates to fire. I’m worried we’re losing too many African Americans,” Diane switches the subject. How have they still not made this decision? If any employees know downsizing is coming, and they’ve had months to act on it, assuming there are jobs elsewhere, people would’ve been jumping ship by now.

But that’s not the point of this scene. The point of this scene is that Liz corrects Diane: “Black. You can just say Black people.” Very nice moment underlining the tension. Diane means well, but she’s still acting like a white lady who doesn’t know how to act around black people... and she wants to (and, I guess, already does) run a black firm. Major yikes.

Marissa and Lucca are talking again. Marissa does not want to be in law school—she just wants to be a lawyer. Lucca won’t accept Marissa’s refusal to memorize meaningless rules: “Marissa. I know that you know how to play the game, but you have to pass the bar to get into a position to play the game.” Why does this line make me love Lucca? This line isn’t even anything amazing. It’s just a line that cuts through the bullshit and makes a good point.

Marissa keeps going, insulting all of her peers and teachers, and Lucca figures out how to cut through that, too: she tells Marissa that she’d hire her as a lawyer if she killed someone, but only if Marissa passes the bar. Marissa is instantly intrigued.

“Why are you leaving here? I’ll miss you,” Marissa says.

“Because they won’t pay me what I deserve,” Lucca says in a matter-of-fact tone. “Anyway, I thought they fired you.”

“But they didn’t mean it. It’s like the smoothie place—they kept trying to fire me and I just kept showing up,” Marissa replies. That checks out. (Love the callback!)

Lucca tries to get Marissa to come over to England. Marissa shuts that down as Lucca gets a news alert—and it’s not good news.

Our next date is September 18th, 2020 and I will get my nitpicks out of the way up front! I don’t really know why it is daytime for Lucca when she reads the news, considering it was already the evening in the States when the RBG news broke. And, also, it was Rosh Hashanah, so Marissa probably would not have been sitting in her bedroom studying... she most likely would’ve been with family or friends. OK I’M DONE. FOR NOW.

Diane is getting ready for her arguments in front of the Supreme Court. It’s almost time! She’s in casual clothes but has on a wonderful mask. She’s standing in front of Kurt’s guns to make a point (love that she’s using her video call background to her advantage) and there are several people in her bedroom getting the tech all set up. I have noted before that they only built one set for Diane’s apartment, and it’s just a massive bedroom. Diane choosing to be in front of the guns does a nice job of cutting off my question about why she’d be arguing in front of the Supreme Court from her bedroom rather than the home office she absolutely would have.

Kurt walks in and tries to shake hands... he’s clearly not very COVID paranoid, and Diane seems to be, and... that’s something I might have wanted to see? How was Diane okay with Kurt taking risks that also affected her?

Diane confirms she intentionally chose to stand in front of the guns. That’s when Kurt gets the push notification. He pulls Diane into the bathroom to show her the news. He hands her his phone and Diane’s face falls. She starts tearing up. “2020 just won’t let go,” she says, speaking for us all.

Normally I hate things that are like, we’re going to contrive this so the news hits at the worst possible moment! This works for me, because the Supreme Court plot for Diane feels more like something that exists to be a through line for the episode. It would also be a little hard to work in RBG’s death as a main plot point—and it is definitely important enough to be a main plotpoint—if it didn’t also affect something in the world of the show.

Also, another reason I like this contrivance is that it makes it all the more powerful when Diane says, “It’s over. He gets to nominate someone. Another Kavanaugh! We’ll have a conservative court for the next 20 years. My whole fucking life!” She’s not thinking about how this affects her case (and that case is basically a life-long dream for her). She is thinking about way bigger things, and knowing that her mind goes to the bigger things before the personal with news like this really underlines how big of a deal RBG’s death was.

Diane tells Kurt, “I don’t deserve you. You don’t agree with me.” “I can still feel bad for you,” he responds. He holds her while she cries.

Jay’s hallucination thing is back. Now Karl Marx is here. So is Jesus. I’m so done with this. It’s nice to get a break from writing.

Malcolm X is also on the roundtable and now they’re talking over each other in that way that everyone on this show always does. (RK gave an interview about Evil where he said he likes having the children on that show talk over each other because he grew up in a household like that. I did not need to read that interview to understand that RK likes scenes where people talk over each other.)

If anything happened in those hallucinations, I missed it, because I didn’t pause the episode. Because I do not care about the hallucinations. Because I hate them.

Now it’s November 2020... Diane’s watching election results and rocking back and forth. She tells Kurt he can go watch Fox News in the other room (so they do have more than one room!). He says he’s fine—he thinks Diane needs it more.

“Yes, but Kurt, if you stay, I know this isn’t sensible, but... Trump seems to get more votes whenever you’re sitting on this couch,” Diane tells him. Ha, I relate to this kind of superstition so hard. “Are you serious?” Kurt says. “I am so deathly serious,” Diane responds. “Whenever you’re sitting here, Arizona goes for Trump. Humor me, please. Just go in the other room.”

When Kurt tries to kiss her, she pulls away: “No, no, no. No kiss. If you kiss me, we’ll lose Georgia.” This scene feels so, so real and perfectly captures what it was like (at least for me, though I don’t have a Republican husband or anything) watching election results come in.

“Uh, if you lose, we’ll be fine, right?” Kurt asks. “Kurt, let me just say this. I’m only saying that we won’t be fine so that the universe will grant me a win,” Diane responds. This scene is so fun and so good! It simultaneously captures a relatable mood, adds some levity, gives us a window into Diane’s life, and shows some of the tensions in her marriage?! I want this all the time!

Kurt leaves the room. Diane pours more wine.

Later, with Diane still rocking back and forth with anxiety (just you wait for the several more days this will drag on!), Kurt brings in the champagne. “That was for when Hillary won. I can only drink it if Biden wins,” Diane protests. Did I also refuse to drink any celebratory alcohol until things were absolutely certain? No comment.

“It’s odd you progressives resisted religion. You seem to have a hundred religions to take its place,” Kurt says, speaking on behalf of the writers’ room. (This joke doesn’t get written if the writers don’t believe this and probably even see it in themselves.)

“Go away, Trump. I mean Kurt,” she shoos him away. Have I mentioned yet I love this scene?

“Love me even if you lose?” he jokes (though I do wonder if this isn’t that joking? I think it is, but he keeps saying it!) as Diane gestures at him to get out.

I could do without the joke about Diane’s heart on the TV for a couple reasons. One, it goes on too long. Two, I was very worried something would actually happen to Diane. You’d think that would make the scene feel more tense, but it does not, because it takes me out of the moment.

“Ok, God. You know I don’t believe in you. But I will believe in you if Joe Biden wins. I’m sorry. I know that that’s not what Jesus taught. There’s nothing in the New Testament that says, ‘Believe in me, and I’ll make sure your candidate wins,’ but I need Joe Biden to win. I’m sorry, God, but I just do. I need some faith.” This is a little much but... yeah. Also, is this the first time Diane’s flat out said she’s an atheist? I think it is, though I’ve assumed as much for quite a while.

The next day in court, masks are no longer required if you’re a series regular and votes are still being counted. I remember those days. Marissa thought Diane was checking in on Jay... Diane was not. She was checking on vote counts.

Apparently Jay’s finally being released from the hospital!

Bad news for Julius—the idiot judge finds him guilty of some nonsense charge and sentences him to seven years in prison.

Diane says not to worry, and Julius asks “Why not?” Good point.

Then we have election results! We skip, specifically, to December 14th and the electoral college vote. I’m a little sad we skipped over the huge party that was November 7th, but I get why they’d rather keep things moving along. I think showing November 7th in an uncomplicated way would’ve just been too close to fanservice. But, man, what a day.

Diane, in a red hoodie with leopard print that she somehow manages to still look classy in, is ready to pop champagne. Then she hears that on January 6th, a joint session of Congress will count the electoral votes and there might be a debate. “Nope. If I open it now, something bad will happen,” she reasons. “I’ve waited four years. I can wait another few weeks.”

It’s been almost a year and they’re still somehow negotiating with Lucca, but I understand why they’d space this out across the episode. Otherwise we’d have to say goodbye to Lucca in the first like, 15 mins of the episode and all those scenes would be in a row. I can forgive (and still nitpick) choices like this when the reasoning behind them seems sound.

Adrian says they don’t want to lose Lucca. He, Liz, and Diane are all in the conference room, and they ask Lucca for a yes or no on their latest offer by the end of the call. Diane offers Lucca partner—she'll be the youngest partner in the firm’s history—and she’ll get a $500,000/year salary. Adrian tries to sell her on being part of American history by being part of the firm.

“We are a black firm, Lucca, and we need you,” Liz says with a lot of passion for someone who knows she might very well partner with Diane. Diane looks at Liz with a bit of suspicion at this, wondering if Liz is showing her cards.

Lucca manages to make the wifi malfunction (or she gets very lucky) and uses the disconnection to call Bianca for a counteroffer, even though they said they needed a yes or no on the spot.

“They used George Floyd because they want you for less. They have never appreciated you as much as I do. All those scars, all that time being taken for granted and undervalued has made you a fighter. It’s made you someone I now want,” Bianca tells Lucca. She gives Lucca a counter offer of $1.3 million and the title of CFO. Lucca takes it. Is there really another choice? (If she were concerned about loyalty to the firm and the partnership was what she wanted, she probably would've just taken it.)

(Also, the partners can’t really act like Lucca is making history by being the youngest partner ever when they passed her over for partner two years earlier and offered it to Maia! To MAIA! Who had like three years of work experience! And yes I was fine with Alicia and Cary getting partnership offers with four years but, one, that was a scam, and two, Alicia and Cary actually worked. Oh, I see I still hate Maia with a passion. Back to THIS season...)

Lucca apologetically informs Marissa she’s leaving and the offer was just too good to turn down. I believe it. I also believe Lucca wants that job more. What has loyalty to RBL gotten her? She's someone so talented and good at her job that she just gets job offers from acquaintances all the time (starting with Alicia!). RBL appreciates her, but just enough to appease her while still undervaluing her. I don’t know that I would’ve believed a plot where Lucca actively job hunts, but I definitely believe this.

“Marissa, we don’t have to work together to be friends,” Lucca tells Marissa. I’m going to miss this so much. Why is this the best material Lucca’s gotten in ages?! I think one of the things that makes Lucca such a great character is that you can see why everyone instantly wants her on their team. She’s a fantastic friend (without giving too much of herself), she’s not a pushover, and she is incredibly sharp and able to get to the heart of any situation. I love her and I’m sad we won’t get to see more of her.

(On that bit about friendship—I can’t write about Lucca’s departure without writing about the moment I realized just how great of a character Lucca was. It was in 7x13, when Alicia has her breakdown that’s seven seasons in the making... and Lucca supports her. But the writing, and Cush’s performance, never make it feel like Lucca exists to be a part of Alicia’s story. Lucca seems like her own fully formed person who happens to be supporting Alicia at this moment. I don’t think I can overstate how tough of a task it is to get me to care about the other person in a pivotal Alicia scene, especially when that other person was added to the cast in the final season and many suspected she’d just be a replacement for a different beloved character! Anyway, Lucca’s been great for years, and I’ll miss her.)

Just when I thought I couldn’t hate the hallucinations more, we get a hint that they are going to continue: Jay sees one right after he learns that Marissa’s used her quarantine to start law school and he’s done nothing.

Jay says he carries a gun now and it’s “performative.” I have no idea what that means and Marissa and Lucca don’t seem to, either.

Another thing I like about Lucca’s final scene is that it isn’t rushed. We have time for all that, and also for Lucca to tell Marissa about the time she stole her breakfast sandwich, and for Marissa to react to it, and for Marissa to find Lucca’s Birkin bag, and for Lucca to tell Marissa to keep it, and for Marissa to react to that, and for Lucca to sappily say “think of me when you use it,” and for Marissa to nonsensically reply, “you think of me when I use it,” and there’s still a little bit more of the scene after that!

Marissa’s silly line makes Lucca tear up. “God, I’m gonna miss you guys,” she says. “I’m gonna miss this. You make me smile. I didn’t smile much before you guys.” Awwwwwww. This is also so true to character! Her friendship with Alicia aside, Lucca’s definitely said before she’s not one to have friends (which is hilarious because she is, as I've said like 100 times, a fantastic friend and also just like, the coolest person??? Who wouldn’t want to be HER friend?!).

She says she has to go because she’s getting too emotional and says goodbye. She’s also super sappy and when Marissa says, “you were the best,” she responds that they were the best TOGETHER! Awwwwwww.

What a nice, fitting goodbye for Lucca. There’s no bad blood or fireworks—she just makes a change like a lot of people do. I’d like to think she’ll still be friends with Marissa and Jay after this. I don’t want too many Lucca references in future episodes, but I would really like it if we see Marissa and Jay update each other on the latest from Lucca, or if a scene begins with Marissa closing out an Instagram post from Lucca of her kid, or something. I wouldn’t want clues about what Lucca’s up to, but I’d love to see that she’s still a part of Marissa and Jay’s lives.

Now it is January 6th. Liz, Adrian, and Diane sit on the floor of the mostly empty office, watching TV coverage and drinking. It’s so relaxed it’s almost surreal, and it, like many other moments in this episode, feels like a slice of life. Everyone’s dressed casually and no one is worried about appearances or looking like the boss.

“God, have you ever seen anything like it. It’s so fucked,” Diane says. Adrian’s more optimistic—the courts rejected most of the challenges to election results! “System worked,” he says. “Yay.” Liz says in response. She’s not as optimistic as he is.

“Liz. Liz. Sometimes when things work out, there is no parade. There’s no congratulations, but I’ll tell you this: We live to fight another day,” he explains to her even though she makes a good point that a system just barely hanging on doesn’t bode well for the future. (She doesn’t say all this, but that’s a very loaded, “Yay.”)

“Yeah? Then why are you leaving the law?” Liz asks. Diane seconds to the question.

Adrian announces he’s still retiring—and he’s moving to Atlanta. He wants to go to the south to help “create and consolidate political power.” He’s excited to start over and inspired by Georgia going blue. This is a very nice exit for Adrian. I fully believe that he’s interested in political organizing, that he’d be good at it, and that he’s ready for a change. I don’t think he’s always the most progressive person (of the three in this scene, Liz is absolutely the most progressive one, though Diane probably thinks she is!), but I absolutely think he thinks of himself as an activist and I believe that if he’s going to step away from the law, he’d do so to make a move like this.

Adrian—and Lucca, but especially Adrian—probably both got better exits thanks to the events of 2020. If Adrian had just left to be groomed by the DNC, that would’ve been a predictable and boring ending for him. His candidacy would, obviously, go nowhere, and the whole thing felt weird from the minute it was introduced. But this? Adrian being energized—like so many others were—by the ways the world changed in 2020 and using his already announced departure from the firm and recent breakup as a chance to start over and make change? This is great!

Adrian asks Liz and Diane what’s next for them. Liz says that she thinks the Biden admin will be better for black businesses. Adrian asks if they’re replacing him, and Diane says, “I think the big question is, are you replacing me?” She’s smart. I like how this scene goes from friendly to tense very fast, with everyone kind of testing the waters. Adrian tries to force the conversation, Liz opens with something vague yet pointed, and Diane speaks what’s previously been unspoken.

Liz says it’s not her intention to push Diane out. “I can’t change the color of my skin,” Diane replies. “I know,” Liz laughs. Audra’s delivery is fantastic on that line.

“Hey, I’m gonna fight for my partnership,” Diane says. “I know,” Liz says. The tone of this scene is so different from previous partnership drama on these shows and I’m excited about it. This is just a bunch of adults talking about business decisions with each other and treating each other as equals?? It's not backstabbing?? Or drama?? No one is hiding things?? It’s refreshing and I hope this plot stays like this. We’ve done so much partnership drama that I think drama that stems from a real, pressing question that has no easy answers and isn’t anyone’s fault is going to be much more fruitful for the show.

Adrian heads out—ah, I see now this scene is set in his empty office and this is why they are on the floor—and gets a nice last moment with Diane. And then they give him a last moment with Liz, which I knew they would but was still glad to see.

Liz asks if he knows what he’s doing—he says he’s not sure.

Adrian asks if Liz knows where she stands regarding Diane. “It’s going to be interesting,” Liz says. I don’t think she’s decided what she’s going to do yet.

It wouldn’t be an Adrian and Liz scene if Adrian didn’t have some unsolicited advice. “Diane’s a terrific lawyer, but this firm belongs to you. Your dad built it. He did, Liz. Despite all his faults. You got to run this place the way you want. This is a black firm. And after today, the world needs black firms. You got me?” He tells Liz. He makes it seem like Liz gets the choice and then tells her what to do. She says, “I got it,” signaling she understood him but not that she necessarily agrees.

I cannot wait to see what Liz does next!!!!!!! About this but just in general!!!!! Without Adrian there giving her constant advice I feel like she can grow so much and the show will have to give her more to do!!! I think Adrian, for all his many wonderful qualities and all he brought to the show, can suck all the air out of a room with his charisma, and Liz usually ends up suffering as a result. She’s such a capable lawyer in her own right, but Adrian has a way of making it always seem like he’s right—even in arguments she wins. I’m excited to see Liz lead (or stumble at leadership; she is fairly new to management) without Adrian’s direct influence.

Liz walks Adrian out and it’s cute. They run into Marissa and Jay. “Everybody fun is leaving,” Marissa notes. Liz is minorly offended, but playfully. Heh.

Adrian asks Jay how he’s doing; Jay says he’s a long-hauler but he’s doing okay. I like that they included that moment in Adrian’s goodbye sequence. It’s a very little thing, but it underlines that Adrian cares about Jay.

Then Liz interrupts to note that Trump pardoned a lot of convicted and corrupt Republican officials....... including Julius.

Everyone celebrates, but especially Diane and Marissa. Diane lets out her wonderful laugh and then we, finally, get to the credits. Because now that the previouslies are over, it’s time for the real show.

The credits are absolutely delightful, btw. I was a little worried some of the kittens would blow up, though! Once I relaxed and realized what they were up to—literal puppies and kittens because Biden won—I couldn’t get enough of these credits. They work so well because they accurately capture the way I (and all of these characters, except maybe Julius and Kurt) feel about the election results, but it’s so exaggerated that you know the kittens and puppies aren’t a realistic representation of our new reality. They’re just too good to be true, but you may as well enjoy them for a minute. I’m sure we’ll be back to exploding vases next week.

What a great episode! My timeline nitpicks and whatever they’re trying to do with Jay aside, I was blown away by how well the writers managed to move on from season 4, tie up loose ends, and write out two main characters. And they did it all while making me revisit the events of 2020, a year I don’t think many of us want to spend much time thinking about! This episode was enjoyable, fun, emotional, and clever. I don’t know what to expect from the rest of the season, but I’m definitely excited about the show in a way I haven’t really been in quite some time.

This season’s naming convention seems to be titles that end with ... and only have the first word capitalized. I want to see more.

Season FIVE? There have already been as many TGF seasons as there were TGW seasons prior to Hitting the Fan?! Time flies.

Please writers: No topical episodes this year-- no pee tape, no Melania divorce, no Epstein. None of that business.

Sorry if I repeated myself here. I never proofread these things, and I wrote half of this on Saturday and half of it today (Wednesday) and the days in between were an absolute blur so I cannot remember if I said the same things about this episode twice.

#the good fight #tgfthoughts

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