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hgfictionwriter · 11 months ago

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Maybe This Time

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: UCLA was a long time ago. Jessie couldn't bring herself to make a move back then and missed her chance. But now that you're back in her life, maybe things can be different.

Warning: None

A/N: A bit more fluff for y'all! And sorry for flooding the Jessie tags. I’ve got a bunch of fics just sitting around!

"Jessie?"

Jessie turned and couldn't believe her eyes. Y/N. Y/N L/N. The girl she'd pined over at UCLA; who her friends had relentlessly made fun of her for liking and never pursuing; the girl who still showed up in idle daydreams from time to time, even all these years later.

"I heard you were playing in town now. Oh my gosh - it's been so long. I was hoping I'd run into you at some point."

Here you were standing in front of her. Smiling at her. Instead of being the...relatively...confident person Jessie now was - she was national team captain, a gold medal athlete, for goodness sake - she wasn't a young girl anymore hiding behind textbooks and her friends, instead though, she felt her cheeks burn hot and her words got caught in her throat. She stood there staring speechless at you.

"Don't tell me you don't recognize me," you said, a hint of apprehension beginning to cast over you.

Finally, Jessie began to react. She closed her eyes briefly in hopes of resetting, shaking her head and allowing herself to smile.

"Of course I do," she finally managed, only stammering slightly. "I mean, I recognize you. Of course."

"Okay." You let out a small laugh of relief. "For a second I thought worldwide athletic stardom made you forget your favourite lab partner."

"Of course not," Jessie readily assured you. "I'd never forget you."

The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. She clenched her jaw as she reprimanded herself internally for imploding so quickly and after so much time. She cut herself some slack when you smiled again at her.

"That's comforting to hear. Well, I mean, I know you're just leaving," you gestured to the door of the coffee shop, "but, um, I don't know." You laughed nervously before settling on what to say. You offered her a resolute nod. "It was nice to see you again."

Jessie's mind whirled with ideas and options. Anything coming out of her mouth now was mere instinct.

"Nice to see you too. Um, I don't know, maybe we could chat sometime? Are you in Portland too?"

"Yeah, I work at a logistics firm in town." You cracked a smirk. "Not nearly as glamorous as being a national icon, but you know, I do my part."

Jessie chuckled and ran her fingers through her hair.

"If you call 4 am wake-up calls, jet lag, and bruises to high heaven glamourous, then sure, I guess it is."

"Sounds not too unfamiliar from your UCLA days," you teased. "I still remember when you showed up to class with a black eye. And I see you've healed fine from your recent one."

Jessie blushed. So you watched her games? And you remembered moments from uni.

You'd been friends in university, but that's all it ever was. Her friends had goaded her again and again to ask you out, but Jessie could never work up the courage. She'd doubted herself too much. And then before she knew it she'd lost her chance. You dated other girls and that was the end of it. She stepped back and time ticked on.

You remained close friends throughout uni, sharing deep conversations, hopes and fears, silly moments, too. There were moments where Jessie felt hope starting to blossom in her chest - that maybe you had feelings for her, but she'd stamp it out. She’d just be setting herself up for disappointment.

After you both graduated, that was it. She'd gone off to London and you fell out of touch. It was for the best really. Well, maybe.

"Anyway," you started again, drawing Jessie back from her thoughts. "Sure, I'd love to catch up. I'd say I'll message you on Instagram, but I know your social media is a black hole. I can give you my number if you like."

Jessie gave you a tight-lipped smile as she scratched the back of her head and let her gaze fall to the bulletin of flyers instead.

"Yeah, I'm not much for social media."

"I know," you chuckled. "You never were."

Jessie cleared her throat and looked back to you. "And sure, what's your number?"

She almost missed you telling her because her mind drifted back to class when you reached over and scribbled your number on the top corner of her paper and told her to text you about the reading. Jessie’s words had died in her throat and she had to settle for merely offering you a delayed nod as you gathered up your books and left. She’d felt light on her feet, nearly dizzy even, all day. Her hands had shaken when she texted you and her palms were clammy as she awaited your response.

That was a lifetime ago. But now here you were, and number newly confirmed. Jessie tucked her phone away in her pocket.

"Okay, I'll let you go," you told her. "And truly, if you aren't up to a chat of any kind - no pressure. You probably have so many people vying for your time. I won't be offended." You said with true earnest. "In case I don't see you again, I just want to say I'm really proud of you for everything you've achieved. And I'd say I'm impressed, but A) that goes without saying, and B) I always knew you were going to do great things. I told you time and time again. Anyway, it was so good to see you. Take care."

Before Jessie could respond, you'd turned and disappeared to the other side of the shop and into the line. She forced herself to turn and leave.

The door had barely closed behind her when she opened her phone and pulled up her messages with Teagan.

"You will NEVER guess who I just ran into."

-----

"Hi Y/N. It's Jessie. UCLA."

"Lol the one and only. How are you?"

"Well forgive me for not assuming that you would know who a random 'Jessie' is lol. I'm doing well, thanks. How are you?"

"You were always very humble. It was always very endearing, so I'm glad to see you haven't lost that. I'm doing well. Working late. Some of my vendors are shitting the bed, so I'm scrambling to find alternatives."

"Seriously? That sounds brutal. I'm sorry to hear that. Well, if it makes you feel better, the team had to run extra drills today because of how bad our last game was."

"It's the start of the season - lots of new players. Chemistry takes time. You guys will find your groove soon. I'm positive. How is Portland treating you, by the way? I'd love to hear more about your time in London too at some point."

"Well, if you still want to grab coffee, I can tell you all about it. And I want to hear about you too. Did you ever make it to the Ghibli museum?"

"Oh my gosh lolol. You remember that. And yes! I did. And it was amazing. And coffee would be amazing, too :)"

Jessie belatedly realized that she was smiling as you texted back and forth. It was an odd feeling - it was strange to be talking with you again, yet entirely natural.

To her surprise, you ended up texting every day until you met up Sunday afternoon. She'd mentioned to Teagan that you two had this scheduled and soon Jessie was hit with an onslaught of messages from all her Bruins mates stepping right back into form and teasing her.

On a scale from 1-10, how red did you blush? And why was it 20.

Can I finally tell her you mumbled her name in your sleep? Several times?

Please tell me you immediately pulled out a vision board with her face all over it.

LOL the universe said, “Think you’ve suffered enough pining for this girl? Think you’re over her? Guess again!”

She still hot? Send pics.

Jessie sat in her car down the street from the coffee shop and essentially gave herself a stern, mental talking to about your get together. She was not who she was 5 years ago, and neither were you. She didn't need to be so nervous. There were no stakes at all, she could just relax, be in the moment, and reconnect with an old friend.

When she stepped into the coffee shop, her pulse picked up just so when she saw you seated at a table, but thankfully by the time she sat she'd composed herself again.

"The good news is, the rain is nothing new to me after being in London," she joked as she swept some rain off her baseball cap.

You looked up from your phone and a large smile crossed your face.

"Yeah, I hear you. And what's going on - how did we both go from sunny LA to rain central?"

Not entirely surprising, conversation flowed easily between you two. And it wasn't all reminiscing and nostalgia, it was easy to talk about current things as well. Pretty soon, you were both at the ends of your second cups of coffee and yet neither of you made a move to leave.

"So, um, you've been in Portland for a while now," the ease Jessie had felt faltered some as she broached a topic she'd been highly curious about, "did [y/gf] come with you?"

You screwed up your face and laughed.

"No," you answered easily. "We broke up like a couple of months after convocation. Let's be real - that was never going to last."

"Oh," Jessie replied, surprise showing on her face at how readily you dismissed the notion. "I had no idea. I thought you two were solid."

"Well," you drained the last bit of your drink, "I guess I wasn't entirely forthcoming then. Sure, things were okay. But, I was lying to myself if I thought that was going to be a 'forever' kind of relationship." Jessie's look of surprise lingered and you rolled your eyes, leaning in. "Jessie. She'd get distracted every time she walked by a mirror. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not. Come on, don't tell me you didn't notice. Her full on checking herself out anytime she caught her reflection?"

Jessie sat back and gave you a brief look of disbelief, shaking her head. "I tried not to notice."

"Smart," you retorted good naturedly. "She was nice, and we had fun, but beyond our values not exactly aligning, an equal partnership it was not."

"Well, okay, she's out of the picture. You must be with someone new, then," Jessie went on. She ignored the twinge in her chest when you shook your head 'no'. Just as quickly, she scolded herself. Why would it matter? She was getting way ahead of herself here. She supposed that old habits - and evidently dormant feelings - died hard.

"No. I mean, I dated a couple of girls since I've been here, but nothing's really stuck." You looked up from your drink to Jessie. "Now, superstar, you have to tell me your update."

Jessie mouth contracted into a tight smile and she felt her cheeks begin to burn under the scrutiny.

"That's confidential," she quipped.

You rolled your eyes dramatically and leaned forward. "That is so not fair." Jessie remained smugly silent and merely shrugged. You let out an exasperated sigh and slouched back in your chair. "Fine," you relented not wanting to push too much. "You were always tight-lipped in university, too. You could've had anyone and you - as far as I know," you said pointedly, "didn't date anyone."

"Oh come on." Jessie now rolled her eyes. "I was so shy and quiet. Even if I'd liked someone I would've never gotten up the courage to ask them out." She felt a buzzing in her head as she watched your reaction. You smiled sweetly.

"You were shy and quiet, yes. But you opened up once you were comfortable. I mean, look at us, look at you with your teammates. And you were so smart, incredibly sweet, and pretty, and you had that dry sense of humour. And, hello, captain of the football team!"

"Co-captain," Jessie interjected pointedly. You hung your head briefly with a laugh.

"I repeat - you could've had anyone."

Jessie subconsciously fidgeted with her hat and planted her feet further apart as she shifted down in her chair. "Well, didn't seem that way at the time."

"Wait - so who did you like?" You probed.

"No one," Jessie retorted, her features scrunching up as she played off the question dismissively. "I barely had time to breathe. There was no way I could date someone."

"You are so cagey sometimes," you said lightly, not being able to resist ribbing her once more. "Fine, so, what about now? Are you seeing someone?"

Jessie's composure was long gone and her face burned hot as your interrogation got her flustered. She took a subtle breath and worked to calm herself.

"No, no one's caught my eye just yet," she relayed.

You studied Jessie, discerning whether to drop the topic or not. You eventually relented as you crossed your arms and reclined in your chair.

"Well, I imagine that's not easy. There's a lot to live up to. And you're surrounded by impressive people every day, so the bar's gotta be high. Again, you can have your pick."

You grabbed your phone and looked it over quickly.

"I need to get going. I have a few errands to run still before the weekend's over," you said, a hint of regret in your voice before you offered a smile. "I had a great time though. It was so good to catch up with you."

Jessie removed her hat, running her fingers through her hair briefly before pulling the cap back down on her head.

"Yeah, I had a great time, too."

For the first time this conversation, a small lull formed and neither of you jumped to bridge it. Eventually, Jessie cleared her throat.

"Maybe we could get together again. Coffee. A drink. Whatever, really."

A mild look of surprise crossed your face, puzzling Jessie.

"Sure, I'd like that," you told her warmly as you shrugged on your jacket.

"Okay." Jessie gave you a small smile as she, too, rose from the table. "Will you be at the game next weekend?"

"I hadn't planned on it, but I could be." You smirked.

"No pressure," Jessie said as she felt that old nervousness begin to bubble up. "I could get you tickets if you ever want to go. That's all."

You smiled, looking at her in appreciation. "I'll have to take you up on that."

Jessie chuckled, but gave you a pointed look. "Honestly, you don't have to. I know you weren't a big soccer fan even in university."

"But," you started, drawing the word out and returning her pointed look, "I started going to games after becoming friends with a certain someone. I just haven't had a reason to go to a Thorns games yet."

Jessie resisted her impending blush and instead crossed her arms loosely in front of her, shifting her weight to one leg. "Okay, just let me know," Jessie said. She gave you a small nod. "And I promise these games are even better than Bruins ones."

You cocked your head, a hint of a smile on your face as you lifted a finger to your lips and narrowed your eyes in mock contemplation.

"What are they calling you these days? Midfield Maestro?"

Somehow, Jessie didn't even feel the urge to blush. Instead, she gave you a cocky smirk.

"So you really have been following my career."

She nearly grinned at how your cheeks flushed pink and you broke eye contact. You only took a moment to compose yourself and look back to Jessie with a half smirk.

"Hard not to," you simply said.

Jessie relented, feeling like she'd teased you enough. For now. She smiled and spoke earnestly.

"Offer stands - if you wants tickets, just let me know. Regardless, let's get together soon."

"Deal," you told her, your blush slowly fading.

There was a brief moment of stillness and uncertainty before you stepped forward and pulled Jessie into a hug. It only took her a moment to relax into it, her arms wrapping around you. Even though your body felt different now - so was hers - it felt natural to hold you close again.

You stayed like that for several moments, surprise and tampered excitement filling Jessie when you tightened your embrace before letting go. She noted the renewed colour on your cheeks when you stepped back.

"Text me?" You asked.

Jessie nodded. "Of course."

A\N: Part Two is available here.

#jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #jflem #woso community #woso x reader #woso imagine #canwnt #woso #portland thorns #canwnt x reader

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jesswritesthat · 6 months ago

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Iwaizumi Hajime: Mad-Dogs’ Master

Fandom: Haikyuu!! — [ Masterlist ]

Summary: ~1.6, Fluff

• There’s only one person Kyōtani listens to other than Iwaizumi, and the Ace is curious to find out why.

Warnings: None

>>>>——————————>

It was unwarranted, your charming and unexpected presence that is, yet still it had stunned the gymnasium into an ambiguous state of quiet.

"I'd love to see you serve Kentarō, it's been a while."

Seijohs' muffled sniggers echoed across the court, your assumption that Mad-Dog would adhere to your request was laughable - seriously. The Wing Spiker only respected Iwaizumi on the best of days, it was pointless for a stranger to try even if you were brave enough to address him so informally.

It wasn't until the rebel got into position did the amusement promptly die, briskly buried in mounds of concern and confusion like it'd never even existed in the first place.

The members shot intrigued glances between the two of you as if to decipher this invisible hold you apparently had over him, like a marionette to his master - except there was none.

"Mad Dog-chan, are you actually going to serve?" It came from Oikawa, the puzzlement heavily present in his tone.

"Yes."

Compliance.

"You're seriously gonna listen...?" Hanamaki hesitantly questioned next.

"Yes."

Resentment was painfully evident in the way he'd hissed it, but the lack of hesitation demonstrated confidence and trust.

"Why are you taking orders from a visitor?"

"Yes."

His response to Matsukawa caused the near entity of the VBC to sweatdrop, hopeless sighs escaping them as Kyōtani leaped into the air and smashed the ball with a resounding thud vibrating the floorboards underneath your feet.

It remained silent, your impressed gaze befalling an approaching Mad Dog who pushed the recovered ball into your chest with a grunt.

"Happy?"

"Very~" It was cheerful, radiant gratitude exuding from you causing a brilliant hue to appear on him - incoherent muttering trailed his retreating figure.

"Sorry about him, uh, I can take that if you want?" This player, the Ace if you recalled correctly, had a hand fall from the back of neck as he gestured to the volleyball with a sympathetic smirk.

"Oh right, I'm (L/n) (Y/n) sorry to interrupt, and it's fine. I'm used to Kentarō by now." You thought it best to introduce yourself since you didn’t share any classes.

"Yeah I’ve seen you around school, I'm Iwaizumi Hajime. Maybe you could give us advice since we're not yet."

"I beat him at arm wrestling years ago, instant respect I guess." You shrugged, a hint of embarrassment there but it certainly piqued the Aces’ interest.

"Oh really? I'll have to challenge you sometime."

"I'd like that Iwaizumi."

———

Although you’d spent more time around the Aoba-Johsai VBC lately, you didn’t quite expect that competition to come quite so soon. In front of a vast variety of peers watching the pair of you prepare for the arm wrestling contest no less.

Mad Dog cemented his grip over the joined hands of yourself and Iwaizumi, curtly sighing like he’d rather be elsewhere, before flicking a glowering gaze to his Senpai who sat opposite you.

"Iwaizumi-san."

The team expected a warning, specifically to avoid causing you injury else Iwa would suffer the consequences, but the true intention was surprising to even the Ace.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah..?" Hajime looked to you quizzically before he’d replied, you maintaining an innocent smile.

Kyōtoni may've given Seijoh the wrong impression, to be honest you weren't confident in beating Iwaizumi in a feat of strength - that's not exactly how you'd beaten Kentarō, but all you needed to do was last three seconds.

“Go!”

Three seconds.

"You good (L/n)?" You happily nodded in reply, a smirk quirking his lips as he added more power, slowly forcing your stance into a careful submission.

Two seconds.

"You really are beautiful Hajime."

One second.

It was a determining split second, you'd felt the pressure alleviate from his arm completely due to surprise - instantly surging all of your strength to pin his arm before he refocused.

Zero.

Silence, ominous and echoing. Seijoh took exactly three moments to configure the results, glancing between Hajime and yourself, and finally at your interlocked hands.

The first and second years chorused 'Ooohs' and applause whilst the third years continued to stare on in disbelief. Oikawa swamped his partner before he could react whilst Kyōtani shoved your shoulder with a scowl.

"I can't believe you lost Iwa-chan?! We're adding more bicep curls to your workouts, it'll improve your spiking power too..."

Amidst the chatter, Iwaizumi managed to pull you to the side whilst the team were distracted and had bemusement etched onto his expression.

"You're strong Iwa, you would kick my ass if we had a rematch. You're still the champion of Aoba Johsai no matter what." Came your honesty, knowing your methods were haphazard at best, you’d resigned the title of ‘Arm Wrestling Champion’ to Iwaizumi since you’d only participated for fun.

"I'll let you enjoy the victory glow before I challenge you again, it suits you. That was a good strategy by the way, I wasn't expecting it."

"It's a one time wonder, I told Kyōtani there was a dog outside when we competed."

"Ah so that's the true tactic huh?" He seemed more defeated than previously, and also partially disappointed and you'd realised why.

"Iwaizumi, it may've been underhanded but that doesn't mean I was lying."

Your words left him speechless whilst you took the opportunity to reunite with an awaiting Mad-Dog. Oikawa soon joined his best friends’ side, giving him a nudge with petty disapproval lacing his voice.

“Can’t believe you lost that, I mean technically you let yourself get distracted by their comment, so what’s with you?”

"Um, they were telling the truth." Iwaizumi uttered, still processing the revelation himself.

"When they called you beautiful? But they haven't— (L/n)-chan! Am I pretty?" Oikawa hurriedly called to you.

"Huh? Sorry can't hear you!" Your brush off left Iwa laughing and Oikawa wearing his childish pout.

"...this is worse than Kiyoko ignoring me. You pick the strangest ones Iwa-chan!"

"I know. I picked you remember?" The Ace deadpan cemented, prior to flicking back to Oikawa offended. "Wait, whaddya mean pick them?"

"You like (L/n) don't you? Kinda evident by your fond smile and cute blush you— OW?!"

The Captain was cut off by a solid punch to his shoulder, one hard enough to make him reconsider his stance on additional bicep curls.

"Shut up Shittykawa!"

———

It ceased to fascinate the entirety of Seijoh just how connected you and Kyōtani were, they dare say you’re the only human he’d willingly give the time of day. They also wanted to know how.

So after you’d finished your conversation with Iwaizumi and bid farewell to the team, they took advantage of the split second of contentment that briefly lingered in Kyōtani after seeing you.

“What does (L/n) have on you?” Makki spoke up first, only receiving a glare in response. His question wasn’t even justified with an answer.

Instead, Iwaizumi took a shot.

“(L/n) said they bested you at arm wrestling when you guys were younger, was it the same tactic?”

This actually received a reply, no matter how blunt.

"I only lost because (Y/n) pointed out this dog across the street, they knew how I really wanted one so..."

"Used it to beat you?" Yahaba interjected, as if resolving the suspense but Mad-Dog only rolled his eyes with a frustrated tut.

"That's what (Y/n) might want you to believe, but they were stupidly excited about me seeing it and blurted it out, pinning my arm in the process. (Y/n) offered a rematch straight after, saying it didn't count and apologised 50 times like an idiot."

"That's what did it?" Oikawa chimed in, even if he wasn't particularly involved in the conversation.

"I don't respect them because they beat me. I respect (Y/n) because they took the time to care."

Oikawa and Iwaizumi shared an understanding look, one that acknowledged you pointing out something he liked had gained you unparalleled loyalty. As such Hajime decided that he should show the same respect but he’d wait until he could catch Kyōtani alone to discuss it.

———

It was after practice that Iwaizumi had managed to catch the fiery spiker in the club room.

"Hey, Kentarō.” The blonde made a noise of acknowledgement when throwing his gym bag over his shoulder, enough for Iwaizumi to continue. “Would you mind if I asked (L/n) on a date?"

"What?" It was spoken more deadly than anything else, like pushing the subject further would cause him to bite.

"(L/n) (Y/n). I like them, a lot actually, and with how close you are I thought I'd let you know."

Kentarō dropped his bag to the floor, glare only intensifying like the fires of hell despite the calm explanation from his upperclassmen.

"..."

"Look I get it, but I think (L/n) would feel better if you appr—“

"You don't know (Y/n) like I do!" Mad-Dog suddenly snapped, voice cursing and loud, though Iwa remained neutral having expected this to some extent.

"Obviously not, you grew up together right?"

"Other people's happiness came first, all the time! They’re always trying their best for others even if they get anxiety or whatever. They make so many sacrifices for everyone. When I was an ass they didn’t give up on me either, they’re too—" It was spoken harshly, yet radiated emotion. "(Y/n) doesn't— they deserve— tch nevermind."

"That's why you try to make them smile, yeah?"

A low growl meant more than words, Kyōtani flashing his teeth prior to picking up his bag in a sulk which told enough of a story. Though Iwaizumi knew not to pester.

It remained quiet as the tension dissipated, Kentarō shoving his hands in his pockets and suddenly breaking the silence with a low tone.

"Iwaizumi-Sa—... Iwaizumi. You better make them happy. If you dare hurt (Y/n) in any way, I'll kill you."

"I'll look out for them, always, just as you will. (Y/n) can rely on both of us Kyōtani." Hajime confidently stated, a softer smile appearing. "And you don't need to worry, I'll try to keep them smiling."

"Tch, good luck. (Y/n) can still say no."

"I knew this was going too well." Though, it was the closest to approval he was going to get, he could only hope you agreed.

<——————————<<<<

[ Masterlist ]

#iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime imagine #iwaizumi imagine #haikyuu iwaizumi #haikyuu #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu oneshot #anime x reader #anime imagine #haikyuu imagine #iwaizumi scenarios #hq iwaizumi #iwaizumi fluff

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lemoncrushh · 3 months ago

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Mistletoe & Holly

Summary: Harry finally reveals to his friend Holly how he feels about her on her birthday...which just happens to be Christmas.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 4833

A/N: As promised, this is one of my two holiday fics from the past. Originally written and posted in 2021. In Harry's POV.

Holly’s birthday was the 25th of December. “Freaking Christmas Day”, as she'd put it when we'd become friends years ago.

"I was born on freaking Christmas Day, Harry! Like baby Jesus. Can you believe it?"

Her mum had been told she couldn't have children, but 'lo and behold one day after having a horrible upset stomach and a case of indigestion, she went to the doctor only to find out she was pregnant. Holly'd laughed about it then when she told me, making light of the fact that she'd been a miracle baby. I couldn't help but think she was indeed a miracle.

To say I'd had a crush on her would be an understatement. I reckon in those early days it was just a crush, as I followed her around like a dumb lovestruck puppy. But I didn’t really know what love was yet; I just thought she was pretty, and she was cool because she had the entire second floor of her parents’ house to herself. She sat behind me in class, and I’d let her copy off my papers, or she’d let me do the same, even though neither of us got the best marks.

It wasn’t until the second year that I realised my feelings for her were more than mere infatuation. She started dating…other guys…and I didn’t like it. Especially when she would tell me about them. I found myself jealous, and I didn’t like that either. I would sulk, wishing I could turn back the clock to when it was just her and me. But the truth was, there never had been a her and me. We were never a thing and were never gonna be. I’d missed my chance. I was in the friend zone.

Still, every year I would celebrate her birthday with her. I thought it was a shame that she had to share her birthday with the biggest holiday of the year, so we’d do it a week before, a tradition I came up with myself.

“You need to have your day, Holly,” I insisted. “A day that’s just for you.”

“Okay,” she agreed, giving me that grin she’d use when she was humouring me. “What do you suggest we do to celebrate?”

I shrugged. “I’ll think of something. Just leave it to me.”

That first year I’ll admit was a little lame. It was too late to plan a party, not that I would have known whom to invite anyway. I baked her a cake (okay, my mum helped me a little), and I brought it to her house. The look on her face when she’d opened the door was totally worth it. She beamed at me with her big eyes and lovely crooked-tooth smile, and I could have kissed her had I not been holding that massive cake in my hands. Okay, maybe not.

We sat on the floor with our backs against the sofa whilst we ate cake and watched Star Wars - her choice. Somewhere around the middle of the movie, I gave her my other gift, a stuffed bear wearing a beanie. Yes, I know, cheesy. But I was a kid. She kept it on her bed for a long time, so I guess she didn’t hate it.

The next year I was able to plan a party, and a lot of kids came. But the downside was that Holly had a semi-boyfriend, a prat named Duncan who kept trying to get her alone. I came close to getting him to eat one of the cookies I'd brought, knowing he was allergic to nuts, but Holly quickly slapped it out of his hand, giving me a look. I lied and told her I hadn’t known of his allergy, and spent the rest of the party in the kitchen with her mum and dad, claiming I had a headache.

That wasn't the last time I had to walk around with my tail between my legs. After the X-Factor and becoming part of One Direction, we continued to stay in touch. But I'd forgotten about my pact with Holly until it was almost too late, and the guys and I were making plans for Louis's birthday.

"You should come," I told Holly on the phone. "We'll make it a joint thing. A massive celebration."

“Are you sure?” she asked, and I could detect the tone of hesitation.

“Of course. It’ll be fun.”

The party itself had been fun, but what I had neglected to do was try to make it extra special for Holly, seeing as most everyone else was there for Louis. After my bandmate had blown out his candles, and we roasted him for a bit, I brought out the cake for Holly, a round one with white icing and holly and berries on the top. While she put on her best smile, I could tell she was disappointed that no one made a big deal, barely singing an encore of “Happy Birthday” as they stood digging their forks into Louis’s cake.

Each year, I tried to one-up myself, hoping I’d make her birthday more enjoyable than the last - or at least better than that one. I made it a point never to combine her day with Louis’s again as the entire idea was based on her having her own day.

A few years later, however, I did the worst thing I possibly could. Niall and I had gotten into the liquor before the festivities had started, long before Holly even arrived. To this day I don’t really know why I did it, but I blame it on the nerves. I’d had it in the back of my mind that I was finally going to tell Holly how I felt about her. She’d had another boyfriend earlier that year, Eric, and I’d hated him. I mean, gritting-my-teeth-every-time-he-appeared and keeping-my-hands-in-fists-in-case-he-breathed-wrong hated him. He was a dickhead and just...completely wrong for Holly. She deserved much better. She deserved to be with someone who treated her like a queen. She deserved to be with me.

So when she and Eric had broken up before Halloween, I was so relieved and elated, I wanted to throw her the best birthday party ever. I was going to tell her everything in my heart. And up to then, I hadn’t told a soul.

That is, until Niall handed me a drink. I wasn’t sure what was in it, but it tasted amazing. The more I drank, the more I liked it. I was feeling pretty good, making jokes and having fun until I found myself telling Niall my plan.

“Shit, good luck, mate,” he said, slapping me on the back. “Just...what if she turns you down?”

Before that moment, I hadn’t even considered that Holly wouldn’t love me back. I mean, certainly there was no guarantee that she would fall into my arms as soon as I confessed. She might have some reservations, even, what with us being such good friends and all. But what if she actually said she had no feelings for me at all and told me to get lost? Suddenly, I felt a sourness in my stomach, and not from the liquor.

To make matters worse, as if on cue, the door opened and in stepped Holly. For a second my face lit up, all doubts I’d just had a second earlier now dissolving at the sight of her in her black dress and red lipstick. Straightening my shirt, I stood back, waiting until her other friends gave her welcoming hugs to make my move.

And that’s when I saw him.

Fucking Eric was stood right behind her.

In less than two seconds, I strode across the room, my eyes shooting daggers at the wanker.

“Hey, Harry!” Holly beamed at me, but I barely noticed. “Looks like a great party.”

“What’s he doing here?” I growled, my hands in fists ready to take a punch if needed. Eric merely raised his eyebrows, as though he already knew he was unwelcome.

“Oh, I hope you don’t mind,” Holly said meekly. “I invited him.”

“You’re back together?”

Holly shrugged, a pink blush to her cheeks as she looked over her shoulder at him. “Maybe. We’ve been talking…”

Eric gave a grin so smug that I felt my arm swing back, but someone grabbed it. Turning my head, I saw Niall who shook his at me. Just then I heard a squeal to my left as another one of Holly’s friends ran up to greet the birthday girl. As they embraced, I suddenly felt the room close in on me, so I pushed through the crowd back to wherever Niall was keeping that good tasting concoction.

I don’t remember much else about that night except some girl whose name I’ve forgotten. Niall tells me I “played disciple”, following her wherever she went until she agreed to join me in a spare room. I’m not sure what I was doing, or how far I actually got with her, but apparently Holly walked in on us. She’s never told me what she saw, and I’m not sure if that’s more for her benefit or mine.

But yeah. Not my finest hour.

As the years went by, Holly and I remained friends, keeping in touch mostly through her private social media accounts, occasionally reaching out or getting together when our paths crossed. I heard of her new boyfriends, one I even met in person whom I considered to be a proper lad. Holly asked about my relationships as well, never sounding jealous or snarky, only supportive. I reckoned we’d both matured, particularly from my end. Eventually my romantic feelings for her evaporated to more of a warm, mutual understanding. Or at least that’s what I told myself.

This year, Holly decided to have her party at her place. She’d recently purchased her own place, her first “big girl flat” she called it, and was excited to show it off. She let me know that I needn’t plan anything, that she had it all under control.

Slamming the car door behind me, I looked up at her building, the windows and balcony trimmed in clear lights, a wreath decorating the center of the railing. I thought of all the previous Decembers I’d spent with Holly, celebrating her birthday, and suddenly felt a sense of loneliness. I hadn’t been dating anyone in what seemed like a long time as I tried to recall if she currently had a boyfriend.

The large, red, square box under my arm, I wiped my brow with the back of my other gloved hand, feeling the first fall of snow. Trudging up the steps, I rang the buzzer for Holly’s flat, an unmistakable smile twitching my lips when I heard her voice welcoming me in.

“Oh, I’ve missed you, my love,” she cooed softly into my ear as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I tried my best to keep my adolescent desires at bay as I innocently inhaled the scent of her perfume. “You need to come around more often.”

“And when’s the last time you came to see me, hmm?” I teased.

Her mouth in a straight line, Holly considered my comment. “You know, we can’t all afford to follow you around on tour for a year.”

“Have I been gone that long?”

“Longer,” Holly chided, taking my coat and setting my present on the credenza behind her, next to the other shiny wrapped gifts.

I chuckled. “Impossible. I saw you last birthday.”

“Fair enough. Just don’t make it a habit.”

“Too late, darling.”

I caught the gleam in Holly’s eye just before I felt a hand slap my shoulder, making me turn.

“Harry, lad! Wonderful to see you!”

“You as well, Richard, how are you?” I greeted Holly’s dad who guided me into the next room. My gaze searching for Holly, I caught her hanging my coat just before the doorbell rang again and Richard poured me a bourbon.

I sat in Holly’s living room, chatting with Richard and Megan, Holly’s mum, and few of Holly’s friends - some I’d known for years and some I’d just met. Holly, being the gracious hostess, greeted each person to arrive, so it was a while before she finally joined us. I noticed how she pushed her hair behind her right ear; I noticed how she sipped her cocktail; I noticed how she threw her head back laughing at something funny that was said. I noticed everything.

But more importantly, I noticed how no one had claimed the spot next to her, taking her hand or sliding their arm around her shoulder, chatting like she was their better half.

Holly was single. Just like me.

“Harry,” she suddenly addressed me as she rose from her chair with a smile, “let me show you the rest of the flat.”

Setting my glass on the table, I eagerly stood up. Then Holly surprised me by turning toward the other guests.

“You lot can sit tight and talk amongst yourselves for a bit, can’t you? I need some alone time with my old friend.”

“Of course, love!” Megan cheered, waving us away. “Take your time.”

With a smirk on my face and a thump in my chest, I began to follow Holly out of the room just in time to hear Richard’s remark that I was sure was not meant for me to hear.

“Old friend, my arse!” he quipped. “Girl’s been mad about him since-”

“Shhh!” Megan interrupted. “Quiet, Richard, they’ll hear you!”

“Harry, are you coming?” Holly’s voice called, making me realise I’d stopped just outside the doorway.

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“I’ll show you the kitchen last because it’s closest to the den,” she explained. “And that way we can circle back around.”

“Alright,” I nodded sheepishly as she stopped at the end of the hall with a smile. However, instead of gesturing toward the room ahead of her, she pointed at the lovely french doors beside where we stood.

“This is probably my favourite part of this flat,” she said wistfully. “It was the selling point for me.”

I knew the doors must open to the balcony I’d seen outside when I’d arrived before she grabbed the handles and pushed them open. A gust of wind blew in, causing her hair to lift and flow behind her, like she was Elsa in Frozen.

“Sorry,” she muttered, “I know it’s horribly frigid out there. I just wanted you to see.”

“It’s very lovely,” I grinned, stepping up next to her.

“I can’t wait to have morning tea out here,” she added, grabbing my arm. “But I’m afraid that will have to wait until spring.”

In what felt like slow motion, Holly squeezed my arm against her chest, and I felt the warmth of her even through my jumper. I couldn’t help but smile as she pressed her nose to my shoulder before releasing her hold and pulling the doors shut.

“Brrrr,” she shook. “Perhaps that was a bad idea.”

I chuckled as I followed her to the open doorway to our left.

“Toilet,” she confirmed with a shrug. “Nothing fancy. And this is my bedroom.”

The room at the end of the hall was open to reveal a large bed, decorated in loads of blankets and massive amounts of pillows, all in shades of blue and grey. As I stepped into the room, the familiar scent that I only associated with Holly filled my nostrils. Everything felt very serene, as though I’d been there before, and I never wanted to leave.

“I tried to make it as calming as possible,” I heard her speak behind me. “Like my own personal sanctuary.”

“I reckon you succeeded,” I nodded. “It’s beautiful, Holly.”

“Thanks,” she beamed. “Okay, now for the kitchen.”

Holly surprised me again by holding out her hand, which I took gratefully. Passing by the french doors again, I noticed something I hadn’t before - a small sprig of a plant hanging just above the doors.

“Hey, is that…” I pointed.

I caught the pink in Holly’s cheeks before she giggled and nodded. “Mistletoe. I just thought it was cute, and kinda funny.”

“Alright then,” I smirked, recalling Richard’s previous hushed words.

“Mum and Dad may want to use it later,” she shrugged before turning the corner where I swore I heard her murmur, “or someone else.”

Pulling me into the kitchen, she stopped only to emphatically announce her pleasure in having more counter space than she’d ever had in her life. I smiled at her animated enthusiasm, happy for her that she finally owned her own place.

As she gestured to the exit to the left, I followed her back into the living room where a resounding game of charades was being played. I laughed as I watched Holly’s friend Gina try her best to mime the clue whilst Richard called out absurd answers.

“It might be time for Dad to put down the bourbon,” I heard Holly chuckle to my left just before Megan called out the correct answer and the room cheered.

“Ah, the birthday girl’s returned!” announced another of Holly’s friends. “I say it’s time to open the gifts!”

I felt Holly’s hand push the back of my arm, guiding me to the party. I took the chair I’d sat in earlier, across from Holly’s as I awaited the presents ritual. I was suddenly reminded of what I’d gotten her when Richard and Megan brought in the gifts collected on the credenza, setting them at Holly’s feet. My ridiculous red box sat in the back of the pile, like a caboose of confession.

I considered that she might take it lightly and even joke about it, the way she probably would have had she had a significant other. I supposed that was my own initial idea when I’d made the purchases and put it together. But now...after seeing her again, and all the feelings flooding back...I knew I’d been kidding myself.

Now everyone was going to watch her open it and see the awkward reaction she was bound to have. Good one, Styles.

One by one, I sat in silence and watched Holly open each gift, all earning oohs and ahs. When she finally reached for mine, I knew I was doomed.

“I hope you don’t mind,” she said to the entire room, though her eyes were focused on me. “I saved this one for last.”

I could feel the stares without shifting my eyes. Licking my lips, I awaited the inevitable. When she tore off the wrapping and lifted the lid to the box, however, I got a different reaction from what I’d expected. Instead of looking confused and awkward, Holly laughed gleefully, throwing a hand over her mouth just as she snorted. Though I tried my best to laugh along with her, I was extremely perplexed.

“Oh my God,” she shrieked, lifting the bouquet of mistletoe. “That’s so funny, Harry! How did you know?”

Giving a light-hearted shrug, I muttered, “Just thought it was cute and funny.”

Gina, sat to Holly’s left, took the mistletoe from her hands and lifted it above Holly’s head. “Alright, who’s ready to kiss the birthday girl?”

Feeling a sudden wave of embarrassment, I was glad when Gina took it upon herself to give Holly a kiss on the check. And even more relieved when Marcus, her friend sat to her right pointed at the box.

“Looks like there’s more, Hol,” he said.

As Gina claimed the mistletoe, Holly reached inside the box for the second item - a monogrammed photo album I’d had made especially for her.

“Oh this is lovely!” she breathed, setting the box on the floor to balance the album in her lap. “Oh and look! There’s mistletoe and holly on it. How clever, H!”

When she opened it, I saw how wide her eyes got, realising what was inside.

“This...this is all you and me.”

“All of your birthdays,” I confirmed, “at least since I’ve known you. Except for the one that I ruined. And few other...fun moments.”

I heard a few awws and a “that’s so lovely, Harry” from Megan, but all I could focus on was Holly as she scanned each and every photo.

“How did you...find all these?” she asked. As she lifted her head, I noticed the wetness in her eyes.

I shrugged. “Most of them I already had. I’ve just been...collecting them.”

“I had no idea we’d taken so many pictures,” she sniffed. “Thank you, Harry, this is really special.”

“You’re welcome,” I nodded, relieved that she hadn’t thought more of it than a mere gesture of friendship.

Shutting the book, Holly reached forward for the box, noticing one more thing was inside.

“Oh, there’s more?” she asked with raised brows.

At the bottom of the box was another smaller box. When Holly lifted the lid, she gasped.

When Holly and I were fourteen, I’d given her a friendship bracelet. She’d worn it every single day for two years until one day she’d gotten it soiled. That birthday, I’d given her a new one. Though she’d argued with me that she didn’t want to replace the original, she was ultimately happy that I had.

That birthday that I’d ruined - the one where I nearly punched Eric and fooled around with some girl I don’t remember - my gift had been a silver charm bracelet. My idea had been to tell her that it was to officially replace that friendship bracelet, which I knew was long gone. But I hadn’t gotten the chance to see her open it because I’d been drunk and preoccupied.

I’d never seen Holly wearing that bracelet, either.

This year…

“Wow, Harry, I…” she began, more tears forming in her eyes as she lifted the gold braided bracelet in her hand, “I dunno what to say. This is...way more than you’ve ever given me.”

“That’s so gorgeous,” oohed Gina as she leant over to see Holly slip it onto her wrist.

“It’s to...replace that old one,” I explained.

“Which one?” Holly asked.

“The one that I never got to give you,” I admitted. “The one that is probably tainted because I was such an asshole that night and got wasted at your party.”

“Oh,” Holly mouthed. I could see the recognition in her face. She knew exactly what I was referring to.

“I regret that night, terribly, love,” I added, pressing a hand to my chest.

“Oh my God, what happened?” inquired Gina.

“I’d rather not talk about it,” muttered Holly, closing the box and returning it to the floor.

“I ruined her birthday,” I said before I even realised what I was doing. “Because I couldn’t just admit to her how I felt about her.”

Jaws dropped all around the room as Holly stared at me.

“Good on ya, mate!” I heard Richard say. “I always suspected!”

“Richard!” Megan scoffed in a loud whisper.

“Well, I did!”

The room seemed to fall away as I saw Holly rise from her chair and sprint down the hall. It wasn’t the reaction I’d expected, but it wasn’t a surprising one. Hastily, I followed her, wondering what the bloody hell I was going to say next. Hopefully I hadn’t just ruined a second birthday.

I found her stood next to the balcony doors, her hands on the knobs like she was debating whether or not to open them. I cleared my throat to let her know I was there, as I heard her whimper.

“Holly,” I managed to say, my mouth as dry as a desert. “Are you...okay?”

I saw her shoulders drop before she nodded. “I’m fine.”

Stepping closer, I could tell she was wiping her eyes.

“You don’t seem fine. I made a fool of myself and humiliated you in the process. I’m so sorry, Holly.”

“No, Harry,” she said. “I’m the fool.”

Turning to face me, she threw up her hands. “I had no idea.”

“That’s my fault,” I admitted. “I’m shit at communication. And I was afraid of rejection.”

“Since when?”

“Since...forever.”

With a tiny, quiet laugh, Holly shook her head. “Me too.”

“What?”

“Not only am I shit at communication, Harry,” she confessed, “but I suck at giving hints apparently.”

“No, I suck at taking them,” I giggled. “‘Cause I don’t recall any hints that you felt...any way about me.”

“See?” she threw up her hands again. “God, Harry, can you even imagine the feeling of being gutted when you’re crushing on your best friend and you walk in on him getting head from some other girl?”

Her words were like a knife right through my heart as I slowly closed my eyes and sighed. “I’m so very sorry, Hol.”

“The worst of it was that I had only invited Eric to the party to make you jealous.”

“What?” I asked again, my eyes popping open in disbelief.

“I was convinced you would never like me back the way I wanted you to. So because I knew you hated Eric, I reckoned you might take more notice if I got back together with him.”

“Holly, what the fuck?” I ran my hand down my face.

“I know,” she muttered. “Not my proudest moment.”

“Can we just erase that night out of our lives?” I suggested.

With a tight smile, Holly looked down at her new bracelet, tracing the plaits. “Maybe.”

“So, what do we do now?” I inquired.

“I don’t know that either,” she admitted. “This was rather sudden. To be honest, Harry, I’d thought I’d gotten over you. And then you-”

Her words were interrupted by my sudden kiss. Soft and tender, it was a quick kiss, though I could feel her sigh against me.

“What was that for?” she breathed.

With a smirk, I raised my brows and pointed at the ceiling. “Mistletoe.”

“Oh.”

“You were saying?”

“I…” she began, a dreamy look in her eyes, “don’t remember.”

I pulled her into my arms then and kissed her with purpose, doing my best to replace all the time that we’d lost. I knew it would take years to even get close, but I was willing to try.

I felt Holly’s hand slide down my arm and grab my hand before she pulled back. With swollen lips and a look in her eyes I’d ever seen before, she led me toward her bedroom, closing the door behind us.

With only a lamp lighting the room, I joined her on the bed, kicking off my shoes. We made out like teenagers - as though the years had not made any difference in how we felt or what we wanted. The only real difference was that I was no longer afraid to let it be known.

My head spinning and my heart pounding, I suddenly felt Holly press a hand against my chest.

“Harry? Let’s not make this a bad fanfiction, okay?”

I chuckled in disbelief. “What?”

“You know, the friends-to-lovers trope, where we finally have sex and at the end, we just assume everything ended splendidly like a fairy tale.”

“Well, love, I was kinda hoping it will,” I stated honestly.

Holly tilted her head, her soft hair falling against the pillow and her shoulder, her expression both innocent and seductive. I had to bite my lip.

“I think you know what I mean.”

“Okay,” I grinned. “So how should it end, then?”

“Well…,” she sighed, the vibration against my chest causing me to take a breath. “It seems rather silly to say we should take it slow given that…”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“But how about we ease into it? See what happens.” She ran her delicate hands up my biceps, her suggestion nearly being blanketed by her touch.

“That seems like a good idea,” I agreed as I leant forward and kissed her inviting lips again. She hummed low as I separated our kiss, taking a moment before opening her eyes. Then grasping at a curl near my ear, her eyes danced as she wrapped it around her finger.

“How does one tell her best friend that she loves him?” she suddenly asked.

A wide grin spreading across my face, I let my fingers trace the side of her beautiful face.

“I reckon you just did, my love.”

I kissed her deeply then, her fingers tangling tighter in my hair. Mistletoe or not, I knew in that moment that I could continue to kiss her forever, if she let me. When I felt her leg slide against my hip, however, and she gasped against my mouth, I knew we should return to our original vow.

“We should probably get back to the party,” I admitted.

“Hmm, yeah,” Holly nodded with a sigh. “Let’s do that before my dad calls out a search crew.”

I laughed against her neck, feeling her giggle rise from her throat. Giving it a few more pecks, I finally lifted my head to look at her pretty, glowing face.

“Happy Birthday, Holly.”

“Happy Christmas, Harry.”

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

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crimeronan · 9 months ago

Text

STORYTIME TO UNBURDEN MY DEMONS. I HAVE NEVER TOLD ANYONE THIS SO IT'S TIME FOR THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ONLINE TO HEAR IT:

when i was 14 years old and in eighth grade, i got cast in the importance of being earnest as cecily, a main character who is 18. this was a mainstage show, so the rest of the cast were adults. it was an insanely huge honor and i was extremely proud of making the cut!! there was just one problem-

cecily shares a single very boring kiss with her love interest.

and my scene partner was 24.

PREEMPTIVELY, i Promise this is not going anywhere horrifying. my mom supervised all of the rehearsals and i was honestly excited to kiss an older man because i have problems. my scene partner had excellent boundaries and was very respectful. none of this was traumatic; if the environment had been toxic, i would've dropped out.

HOWEVER. my scene partner was VISCERALLY uncomfortable with kissing a 14-year-old. as pretty much any chill 24-year-old man would be.

so. i got it into my head that he'd be less uncomfortable if he was kissing a high schooler than a middle schooler. (this distinction seems very prominent when you're in eighth grade and much less prominent when you are 24.)

so when the other cast members asked me what grade i was in. i told them i was a freshman in high school.

.....and one of the other cast had worked at my district's high school before.

so i had to, um. continually make up information about my classes and classmates and teachers.

for months.

.......and i got away with it.

...............until.

the cast party.

at which point my mom casually mentioned that i'd been cast as a lead in my middle school's show for that year.

and so the former teacher was like, "oh, you're dropping down from high school to do it??"

and my mom, so blankly, unaware that she was about to Ruin My Entire Shit Forever, was like, ".....no??? kitkat's in middle school??"

and he went, ".......oh!"

DEAD FUCKING SILENCE.

FROM EVERYONE.

DEAD SILENCE REIGNED.

NO ONE SAID A WORD.

IF ANY OF YOU THINK YOU'VE EVER BEEN EMBARRASSED-

#IF I COULD HAVE DIED I WOULD HAVE. AS IS I JUST ESCAPED 15 MINUTES LATER AND NEVER TALKED TO ANYONE IN THE CAST AGAIN #IT'S BEEN 14 YEARS NOW. I'VE BEEN OUT OF THAT SHOW FOR AS LONG AS I'D BEEN ALIVE AT THE TIME #AND I REMAIN. HAUNTEDDDDDD #like i don't think anyone in that cast would hold it against me NOW of course #i think if i explained myself then everyone would think it was Fucking Hilarious #but OH MY GOD.#WRITHES.#the book poll from last night included this play so i suddenly remembered all of this like a shot. Oh God.

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ninyard · 5 days ago

Note

a thought that's been spinning around in my head is what if jeremy did relapse? like what could drive him to that and how he would move forward considering the whole self hatred of "i'd rather die than be that person again" and shame in asking for help bc "ill never forgive you if you backslide"

OKAY so i’ve been sitting on this just thinking about it for a few days and although it’s not a theory that i believe would/will happen, it’s one of the few ideas i can come up with as to what could cause him to backslide

(i do believe him when he says he won’t. but god, for my own selfish reasons, do i want to see him crash out monumentally)

Jeremy’s mom/stepdad stop allowing him to stay over at Laila/Jean’s place because of what happened to Bryson, how dangerous they think it could be, and how dangerous they think Jean is. Everything that has happened has made their control over Jeremy a thousand times worse. It’s torture for him, his final year, commuting to and from the university every single day for practices and that’s it; no parties, no free time, just practice, and classes, and then home. He’s forced into isolation, almost, but he still talks to the guys on video calls, and lies about having practices that don’t exist just so he can see them. But it’s few and far between. For him, mentally, it takes a huge toll. He hasn’t felt depression like this in a long time, if ever, really. It’s not good - He’s stuck with Bryson far more often that he’d like, and the only solace is those few hours a day where he gets to relax with Jean, Cat, Laila, and the few trojans he gets a chance to see outside of practice.

The guys notice this heaviness in him; Laila in particular gets worried to a point where she shows up at his house a handful of times just to make sure he’s okay, but the Wilshire household is a hostile place for her to be, and Jeremy hates her being around them if it at all can be avoided. Even the diplomats daughter excuse fails Mathilde and Warren: Jeremy has to focus on his LSATs, and he can’t afford outside distractions stealing his attention.

Jeremy pushes sitting the exam further out, and further out. He comes up with all the excuses he possibly can until he’s exhausted every single one, and with Bryson’s threats, he fails the first exam he sits. and it makes everything so much worse.

His phone is taken away from him at night, he’s not allowed to go for runs when he’s unaccompanied or without sharing his location the entire time. Everything the same as it’s been, but amplified, so much more suffocating than what’s healthy.

While all this is going on, the Trojans are doing well. They make it through to the Spring championships as expected, and one night Mathilde allows him to stay at Jean’s place, with the condition that he’s home by 10am the next morning. Its supposed to be a night of relief, a well deserved day off, but he cries in his friends arms and tells them that his family is destroying his life, and he doesn’t know why, and he doesn’t know what to do. Laila only looks at him with mild dissatisfaction as he spends most of the night sitting on the balcony, or out the front of the building, with cigarette after cigarette between his lips. They try to come up with a million ways to get him out of there but he knows none of them will work - he’s trapped, and there’s really nothing he can do.

Bryson corners Jeremy again, when he learns that he’s finally taking a resit exam, and tells him he has to fail this one too. Jeremy almost accepts the consequences of not doing what he says, that some planted coke or pills would be far less of a punishment than living in this prison is, but he takes the test, and he fails. It’s only half intentional, too. His mental health is in the gutter, because he’s a social butterfly, and he needs people around him to feel like himself. how can he focus on studying when he’s spending most of his days bored and resisting the temptation of the escape promised to him all those years ago?

The Trojans qualify for the semi finals, and then they qualify for the finals. It’s the Trojans V Penn State, or by another miracle, it’s the Foxes again. The date has been set. It’s a Friday, the same time of year that it usually is. It’s hard to enjoy the well earned chance at victory when he’s spent most of the year just trying to survive that big house with all its empty rooms and ghosts that walk the halls.

Warren has had enough of his failures, of course he has, the silly achievements of college sports irrelevant on his tall ladder of expectation. Jeremy spends a full night being berated, and belittled, called every name under the sun, full of vitriol and hatred for the disappointment of a son who refused the name of success and landed himself in such a position. Twice? He’d slammed Jeremy’s poor results on the table in front of him. Are you stupid, or do you faggots just get off on being embarrassments?

That night he texts his old dealer from high school, but when the response dings into his inbox, Jeremy deletes the message. He can’t. He thinks about Noah, and he thinks about everything riding on his sobriety. He can’t. He can’t do it.

But he wants to, so badly, and after that, he spends every waking second trying to prevent himself from asking again.

A morning or two later, Mathilde neatly sticks a sticky note to the top of the LSAT guides Jeremy has been pretending to study.

“What is that?” he asks, a date and time scribbled in her fancy scrawl across the green paper.

“It’s your exam, because you insist on avoiding it.” She says, turning around to do something else, like this was unimportant and meaningless to her. “I took the liberty of booking it for you. You aren’t going to fail this one.”

Jeremy picks up the piece of paper and stares at it. “I can’t do that date.”

“That’s too bad,” She almost laughs, sickly sweet. “It’s the only one they had this side of the month.”

“No, mom, I can’t do this date.” Jeremy’s head is in his hands already. This can’t be happening, and he doesn’t have the energy to argue anymore. “We’re flying out to Pennsylvania the night before. We play that evening. It’s the finals.”

She shrugs like that meant nothing to her, and Jeremy isn’t stupid enough to be surprised.

“Well,” She puts a hand on his head and endearingly rubs a thumb over his forehead. “You should have thought about that before failing the other two, Jeremy.”

He calls Cat as soon as he manages to pull his head out of the clouds of disbelief. It’s not long before the other two are on the other end of the line begging Jeremy to just leave, and they’ll figure it out later.

But he thinks of his life, that rides on a good relationship with the Wilshire empire, his reputation, and the Wilshire’s ability to ruin any potential recruitments he might have dreamt about in the future. One leaked document and every pro team in the country will know about Jeremy’s past, and his multiple run ins with the law. He thinks of his documents hidden under floorboards he’ll never find or safety deposit boxes he’ll never have access to. For a moment he wishes David Wymack had spent his time coaching a pro team, so maybe then he’d have a chance. He spends all his time agonising, trying to find a way, but everything in his life feels like it’s falling apart. He’s drinking so much coffee that he feels like his heart is going to burst. He’s barely even able to focus on playing anymore. He’s just about failing ceramics, for gods sake, and he’s not sure about most other classes - he has barely attended more than a lecture or two in weeks.

He spends hours, days, begging his mom to understand that this can’t be negotiable, it can’t be. He can’t let the team down at this point. Even Rhemann attempts to talk Mathilde down from her high pedestal, but Warren’s strong hand on her shoulder stops her from backing down. Jeremy’s dad stops answering his calls, not interested in being interrupted in the middle of the night to listen to the son he never cared about’s woes.

So the night before the championship finals comes, and Jeremy texts his teammates to have a safe flight, and he calls his dealer. They can’t meet anywhere suspicious, so he asks him to join him on the route he’s forced to run on. He knows his mom watches his every move when he leaves the house for even a second these days - he can’t stay still for too long either.

It’s not long later before he’s running home, with too much cocaine in his pocket, too many tears running down his face at what a disappointment he’d become. Noah would hate him for this; To be let down again, a promise broken, again, looking down from heaven at enough white powder to trigger a heart attack beforeJeremy even gets the chance to sit the exam.

He doesn’t take any of it that night; he knows he can’t fail again. The temptation is incredible, though, and it’s a very difficult thing to resist. He settles for some adderall he stole from Bryson’s room, and crams as much as his frazzled mind can take it.

He cries as much as he studies, every now and again just looking at the clear baggie that he hid in his wallet, heart racing every time he remembers that rush, that feeling.

The exam goes about as well as he expected, but he manages to find an hour somewhere afterwards before he’s expected to be home. he turns his phone and location off, and finds the nearest booty call to him in his contact list.

The coke goes down much easier than he was expecting it to, as if being out of practice would have made it different, but by the time his pupils are tiny and his heart is pumping, he’s at the front door of a bad idea. He doesn’t even feel able to question himself, unable to spend a half a second in his body to remember how much he’s destroying his life all over again, in that moment, because his brain and body are in seperate places. He doesn’t remember driving home, if his hookup kinda drove his car and got a cab back, or if he’d drove high out of his mind for the tedious 45 minutes that it takes. He hoped it was the former, but knew it was the latter. He just hoped he hadn’t caused an accident somewhere on the way.

His mom doesn’t stop him to ask how it went before he’s shutting his bedroom door behind him. He has a few hours to kill before the game, so he spends his time wisely between putting his nose in the bag, or smoking out of his bedroom window like a teenager afraid to be caught. By the time the game starts his paranoia has set in, an old and unwelcoming friend, and he hides his cigarettes deep in his closet for fear the tabloids would leak a photo of him smoking 10 cigarettes in an hour.

He cries when Jean takes to the court. He almost snaps his phone in half when Cat gets injured. When Derrick steps back from a fight, when Cody calls a timeout for an injury, all he feels is this hollow, empty pit in his stomach. When the Trojans lose, he can’t keep it in, and he feels his world start to crumble.

He wonders if this is how Noah felt before he made that decision to jump. He wonders if he’s high enough off the ground for it to work.

Laila calls him an hour or two later, and her face drops at the sight of Jeremy. When she asks him to hold the phone up to his eyes he smiles, an empty smile, obliging before she starts to cry. She hangs up, not out of anger, or rage at his decision to relapse, but sheer heartbreak at seeing him in such a state, alone, alone, alone, not able to do a single thing to stop it.

Cat calls him back minutes later, and he doesn’t feel heartened by how her voice cracks when she asks him what he’s taken. He’s angry, he thinks, a ball in his stomach and a voice in his head saying, “how dare they make this about them?”

She tells him to call his sponsor. She begs him to think this through. She knows she lost him when he’s half lucid and forgets he’s on a video call, dipping his head down to his bedside locker to snort a line he’d lay out earlier.

There’s an ending here, somewhere, a happy one, maybe, a complete one more likely. He said it himself; he can’t live with himself if he gets high again. He’d rather die than feel like that again. So maybe that’s just how it goes.

#messy not fic babble because i can’t stop thinking about it #i might write this properly #but enjoy nonetheless #tgr spoilers #the golden raven spoilers #mine #idk how lsats work also so #don’t come for me

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thisapplepielife · 1 year ago

Text

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles December challenge.

Sleeping with Spiders

Prompt Day 12: Only One Bed | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Language | Tags: College AU, Meet-Cute, Only One Bed, First Kiss

"I think you're in my bed," a voice says, and Steve looks up from the class schedule he's studying while he lounges on his new dorm room bed.

There's a long-haired guy standing in his doorway.

“Uh, what?” Steve asks, staring at this guy.

Steve's room is a single, so this is definitely his bed. It's the only one in the room, and surely this guy can see that. It’s kinda hard to miss. The guy waves a paper at him, and steps inside, dropping his bags to the floor with a thud. He hands the paper to Steve, and Steve skims it, and sure enough, this is his room assignment, too.

Steve fetches the same paper with his name on it, and hands it over. Same room.

"They've fucked up," Steve says, comparing them, seeing the guy’s name at the top, “Edward.”

"Eddie,” he corrects, then adds, “and you don't say…”

“Steve,” Steve offers.

“They've definitely fucked up, Steve.”

They probably need to tell their RA, so this can get fixed.

Keith, the RA, is spectacularly unhelpful. His only advice was to wait until Monday to take it up with the housing department. It’s Friday night. Or, there’s an open bed in room 704, he offered. They both go look into 704 and there’s a shirtless guy with a mullet, cigarette dangling from his lip, stomping around like he’s mad at the world. They both look at each other. Hard pass.

Steve thinks taking their chances with each other has to be better than whatever that situation would be, so he nods his head back towards their double-assigned room.

They both sit on the bed. They can make this work for the weekend.

“I can crash on the floor,” Eddie says, “since you’ve already put on all your bedding.”

Steve nods, “Maybe we can get an air mattress?”

“I’m not buying an air mattress for three nights, rich boy,” Eddie says, teasing, but Steve can tell he’s serious. "Floor's fine."

And the first night does go fine, and they spend Saturday hanging out in this single room with two occupants. Eddie's fun, Steve likes him, even if they are nothing alike.

Eddie has a guitar, so he tries to teach Steve to play, but finally gives up once he realizes it's a losing game. But Eddie plays, and their floormates stop by the door Eddie propped open.

Steve wouldn't have thought to do that, but they're meeting people, even if none of them look like anyone Eddie would want to be friends with.

"I have a band, back home. They're younger than me, so I promised my Uncle I'd at least try college, while I wait for them to graduate."

Steve nods, "That's cool."

"I'm in the music program," Eddie adds.

Steve points to himself, "Business."

"Good, that's good. That means I can call on you to be the money man, when we get rich and famous."

Steve laughs, "Sure, you do that."

That night, Steve offers to switch bed for floor, but Eddie refuses. Which was fine until Steve bolts upright, startled awake.

"Spider! On my face!" Eddie screams, and someone next door bangs on the wall. Great. This asshole is going to make his neighbors hate him before he gets gone to the right room on Monday.

"I'm coming up!" Eddie says.

"You're not coming up!" Steve hisses back.

"It's my bed!"

"I think not!"

"You can share, or you can sleep with the spiders!"

This bed is a single, a twin XL, whatever that is. There's not room for two guys in it, no way. At least not two near strangers. Steve likes Eddie, and wouldn’t be opposed to a little company from him, not at all. And Steve doesn’t need dinner first, not really, but he also doesn’t just crawl in bed to actually sleep with random dudes. No way.

But he scoots towards the wall, trying to make room for Eddie.

Steve wakes up in the morning, and Eddie has a leg slung over his thighs, teetering on the edge of the bed. Steve puts a hand on Eddie's back, just to make sure he doesn’t fall and break his neck.

Eddie leans into the touch, and Steve scratches his blunt nails against the thin cotton of Eddie’s t-shirt. It’s kinda nice being close to someone, even if they’re a random stranger that’s just stuck in your room, with nowhere else to go.

Steve feels when Eddie wakes up, because he tenses.

“Shit. Sorry,” Eddie says, but there really isn’t much room to escape.

Steve rubs his back, “It’s fine. Honest.”

Eddie takes him for his word, and slings his arm across Steve’s bare chest. Steve likes it. He’s probably digging himself a hole here.

What else is new?

Eddie strokes his chest, running his fingers through the hair there, before moving down to the hair leading into his shorts. That's. That's interesting. He's interested in that. Definitely.

Steve rolls onto his side, scooting towards the wall to make more room, and Eddie follows. Steve reaches forward and tucks Eddie's wild morning hair behind his ear. He wants to see his face.

"This okay?" Steve asks.

Eddie nods, so Steve leans forward to kiss him. Eddie meets him, and Steve's loving this.

Eddie kisses him like it's all he wants to do in the world, and Steve clings to him, breathing hard and heavy into his mouth. He hopes his breath isn't terrible, but if it's, neither of them seem to care.

He keeps kissing him, touching him and thinks this room mistake was the best case scenario, now.

Eddie rolls on top of him.

Steve suddenly has a thought, "Was there even a spider?"

Eddie cackles, "No."

Later, Steve poses a question, "Maybe we just don't tell anyone we were both assigned here?"

"Only if you think we can sneak a double bed in here," Eddie says, grinning.

Steve thinks that's totally doable. Robin will happily create a diversion for that to happen.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddieholidaydrabbles and follow along with the fun!

If you want to see more of my entries into this month-long challenge, you can check them out in my Steddie Holiday Drabbles tag, right here!

#steddieholidaydrabbles #only one bed #college au #steddie ficlet #steve x eddie #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #thisapplepielife: short fic #thisapplepielife: steddieholidaydrabbles

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listen-to-the-inner-walrus · 2 months ago

Text

Okay, so if you've been anywhere online recently, you may have come across Elon Musk bringing up the issue of grooming gangs that happened over a decade ago in the UK.

And as you can guess, it's a lot of misinformation, and I partly wanted to fact check it in a post out of anger but the other part didn't want to give the "Musk Manufactured News Agenda" oxygen.

However, I just came out of an online town hall on Zeteo (I'd really recommend subscribing to them) with Medhi Hasan and Nazir Afzal - who led the prosecutions for the grooming gangs and continues prosecuting people for this to this day - and I made some notes and I might as well share them:

For all Elon, his ilk and now the Tories calls for a national inquiry on this, we've already had one and several local enquiries as well. The inquiry done for Rotherham was completed in 2013, and the inquiry done on child sex abuse nationwide was completed in 2022.

Not only were the Tories in power when those inquiries were completed, the Tories also decided to implement none of the recommendations made in these reports.

Liz Truss is sat on Twitter talking about how shameful it is that the government are not doing anything, but that second report was completed before she lost to the lettuce.

Boris Johnson called these inquiries a waste of money.

Afzal gave evidence 14 years ago to the government and asked for research to be completed on why men in Muslim and/or Pakistani communities were committing these crimes and no research was completed.

As is, however, 88% of sex offending is committed by white men according to Afzal.

Also, data about ethnicities has not been consistently collected by police. This is once again something Afzal made recommendations on 10 years ago that has not been implemented.

Overall, we've had inquiries on this and the Tories did nothing with the results of them.

Neither Afzal nor David Greenwood (the solicitor for many of the victims) believe another inquiry is needed. They feel it is time to act on the past inquiries.

Hasan did ask Afzal about David Greenwood reporting seeing evidence of police collusion with the grooming gangs. Though Afzal didn't confirm that and rather blamed the failings on incompetence, he did say that if any inquiry is needed, it would be a police inquiry to investigate these claims.

On another note, Keir Starmer did not block prosecution of Jimmy Savile. Alison Levitt's 2013 report exonerates him.

Further, Afzal talked about how he and Keir Starmer had to change policy when it came to CSA and implemented many changes.

Afzal made it very clear that Keir Starmer has not done any of the things he's been accused of, especially not some kind of collusion with the gangs.

Afzal himself has had the same accusations levelled at him. About a decade ago, his home was attacked by the far right who believed him being a British-Pakistani Muslim on the side of prosecution meant that he was there to protect the perpetrators. It was only safe for his children to go to school in taxis.

At one point, Afzal said something along the lines of "These people are as far from Islam as you can imagine." in regards to the perpetrators.

The idea that this was brown men targeting white girls was put to bed by Afzal and Hasan during it. While brown girls are 3 times less likely to come forward, there were many brown victims.

Also talking about coming forward, in speaking with victims, Afzal found that many of the victims were not believed due to classism. Working class girls were routinely not believed by police or local prosecutors.

Elon has spoke a lot recently about Tommy Robinson, aka Stephen Christopher Yaxley-Lennon, and how he should be freed. Jordan Peterson called him a political prisoner and Elon's father compared him to Nelson Mandela. Afzal rightfully pointed out that Stephen nearly ruined two different trials for this with his antics that were considered jury intimidation. The only person who benefited from Stephen's action was him and his bottom line.

Afzal spoke a lot about the victims and how no one is speaking about them or caring about them. He mentioned how focussing on the race of the perpetrators only undermines the victims. I think it's a very important point.

Further, Afzal has spent a lot of this week speaking to the victims of these grooming gangs who have been finding themselves triggered by Elon's antics. Many of them feel like the recovery they've made so far has been pulled out from under them. These people have PTSD and Elon has triggered them as he acts with callous disregard.

TL/DR: We've had national inquiries on this topic and it's the Tories who have decided not to act on them, we do not need more and what Elon is doing is hurting the victims of the crimes he claims to care about.

#kai rambles #politics #britpol #british politics #uk politics #elon musk #zeteo #medhi hasan #nazir afzal #tw islamophobia #tw csa #keir starmer #tommy robinson #tories

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cheri-2047 · 9 months ago

Note

Just curious if i can request freminet x reader but it's college?

(I'd really appreciate it if you made them childhood friends, ignore the whole request if you don't want to do it! I usually write but i lost motivation so yeah, writeblock suck)

Take your time! Don't overwork yourself

This is my 4th time rewriting this since tumblr deleted my progress….

BUT ANYWAY!! Thank you <33 I made it established relationship but it’s just recent established

Freminet college AU

TAGS: none

CHARACTERS: you live in a shared dorm with freminet, lyney, Lynette,

you and freminet are the same age, you share a room and the twins share one as well

You two would pair up in group projects, and would have a breeze through it. He does his strengths and you do yours.

Although you stay in opposite sides of the room, you often find yourselves studying together, sharing notes and all

Late at night sometimes, you’d see freminet working on pers. You’d have to remind him that there’s class the next day

Sometimes, you two cuddle each other to sleep. During stressful nights or if one of you are overworking, the other pulls them to the bed.

each sibling has a different task in the dorm. Freminet cooks and makes everyone’s lunchbox, Lynette does laundry and cleans the bathrooms, Lyney sweeps/mops and takes care of the cat while you help by getting the groceries and materials and help out by folding the laundry.

if freminet is out in the library or anything, to keep you company he lets pers stay with you. He trusts you enough that you won’t damage it or anything

if anyone in the dorm is feeling stressed or down, freminet would cook their favorite meal for dinner, it’s really wholesome

If you ever get sick, freminet doesn’t just lend you his notes, but he teaches you the lesson as well. I like to think he’s very affectionate with those who are closer to him (especially since he’s shy)

there are times where he doesn’t know if he’s doing enough but you just have to reassure him

freminet overall is both a good partner and friend, even if he’s more reserved, to you he’s more open

A/N: idk if this is what you were looking for but I hope it’s ok!! So sorry this was super short, I got really frustrated when I had to rewrite it 4 times…

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #fluff #headcanons #lyney #Lynette #freminet #freminet x reader #x reader #Pers

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mysteryshoptls · 6 months ago

Text

SR Lilia Vanrouge - Ceremonial Robes Vignette

"It's a showdown!"

[Classroom]

Lilia: Ooh, I see you've brought donuts from the Scalding Sands today, Kalim.

Kalim: You know your stuff, Lilia! It's a syrup-covered donut called awamat.

Cater: Looks tasty, but feels like it's a snack that's way sweeter than sweet.

Cater: I think I'll start off with the candy that Lilia-chan brought. Down the hatch…Mm?

Cater: [cough, gasp, sputter]! Ack, this flavor's crazy!

Lilia: Kufufu, it's licorice. One bite and you're already hooked, huh?

Cater: No, I'm saying it's bad crazy! It's salty, and tastes like rubber…

Lilia: Does it? I actually quite like it. …Nom. …Hmhm, yep, it's definitely tasty.

Kalim: How can you eat it all happy like that～? I can't with this, either. It doesn't even smell like it's edible.

Lilia: That's a shame, all I wanted was to share my favorite snacks with my clubmates.

Cater: Oh, right. Speaking of club stuff, what're we gonna do to try to pull in new members this year at the club showcase?

Kalim/Lilia: …?

Cater: Hey, come on! We met up today specifically to talk about what we were gonna do for that!

Lilia: And uh, what club were we again?

Cater: You don't even remember that!? We're the Pop Music Club!

Lilia: Oh right, I remember now. I can't help forgetting 'cause even when we meet up for our club like this, we're usually just lazing about anyway.

Kalim: Yeah, I feel like we haven't really played much music since I joined the club, either.

Cater: Seee, that's why the Headmage was on our case～

Cater: He said that since there's only three of us and we don't really do dedicated club activities, if we don't get more members this year, our club'll be disbanded!

Cater: That's why we absolutely need to get more folks to join us at the club showcase! Especially since it's basically impossible to get any of the older students to drop their clubs and join us, anyway.

Lilia: Plus, it feels like the students here aren't really geared towards joining a band, either.

Cater: Yeaaaaah～ Fights would break out even before we can even set up a live performance.

Lilia: Every time someone opens their mouth, it's just "our musical tastes are just different" and they leave. None of them are team players.

Kalim: And then in the end, it's just us left over.

Cater: Just us three easy-breezy boys～

Cater: 'Sides, it was Lilia-chan's performance from last year's club showcase that was the problem.

Cater: It totally threw everyone off when you just went all screamo and smashed your guitar! We only got Kalim-kun out of all the possible newbies 'cause of that.

Lilia: Nonsense. That scream is my specialty.

Lilia: Thrash metal isn't thrash metal without all my guitar strings snapping.

Cater: There's no way I can keep up with something as hardcore and heavy as that. Doesn't really feel like many people'd like it, either.

Kalim: I totally thought your performance was pretty cool, Lilia! I'd never seen anything like that.

Kalim: It really surprised me when you just leaped off the stage into the audience, too! Ahaha!

Lilia: Oh yes, the best part of a live performance is the stage dive.

Lilia: I was just as surprised that I fell straight to the floor because no one tried to catch me. Kheehee

Cater: 'K, we really gotta stop with goin' down memory lane now. Keep this up and we're really gonna lose our club, y'know?

Cater: I don't wanna lose our precious space to hang after classes. There's no way I'd even consider joining an athletic club～

Lilia: I hear you, I hear you. Then, I guess we should hunker down and prepare a band performance for the club orientation showcase.

Lilia: So, if we're putting together a three-piece band, who should be in what position?

Kalim: Well, obviously…

Kalim/Cater/Lilia: I'D BE ON MAIN VOCALS!

Cater: No way, c'mon, we can't all be vying for the vocalist spot!

Lilia: Well, we may be "easy-breezy boys" as you say, but in the end, we're still Night Raven College boys.

Lilia: Well, if we're picking a vocalist, it only makes sense that whoever can sing best takes the spot.

Kalim: Well, then that's gotta be me! Whenever I sing, I got Jamil, my parents and my siblings all sayin' I'm amazing!

Cater: Ehhh～ Don't think we can really go off of what your family and close friends say, can we?

Cater: But then there's me. Whenever I go sing karaoke with someone, it's a mad party!

Lilia: Wait a moment, you two. I've already proven that I can sing at last year's club orientation showcase.

Cater: No way, I already told you that your zombie-like shouting's only gonna scare away any potential newbies!

Lilia: Looks like we're at a stalemate…

Lilia: Well, guess there's no other choice… It's a showdown for that prized vocalist spot!

Kalim/Cater: Eh!?

[Classroom]

Kalim: So, what're we doin' to win the vocalist spot?

Cater: I'm gonna pass if it's a physical fight!

Lilia: Well, since we're looking for the best voice, it should be sufficient enough to do a singing competition using a karaoke app to score us.

Lilia: We each sing once. And we should each pick out a song we're good at singing.

Cater: Ok, we just gotta pick a song we know front to back, huh! Cool, so let's get this shindig started～♪

Kalim: You already decide what you're singing, Cater?

Cater: Yup, I'm thinking of doing the new song my favorite band just released this week. It's perfectly in my range 'n all.

Cater: …Oh, wait. It looks like it's not in the karaoke app yet, though.

Lilia: Guess you need to look for another song. What about you, Kalim?

Kalim: Mmm～ I thought about it, and…

Kalim: I'm way better at dancing than singing, y'know. Can I do that instead?

Cater: No, absolutely not! That's not what we're looking for at all!

Lilia: Kheeheehee, you're a silly lad, as always. Well, you still have time to pick out a song after I've finished singing.

Lilia: I'll start up the karaoke app, and… Hm. Would a lullaby from Briar Valley be considered a folk song?

Cater: A lullaby!? That's totally on the other side of the music spectrum from your usual metal music!!

Lilia: Lullabies are my specialty! I can instantly send a crying babe back into dreamland.

Cater: Wow. I wasn't expecting that.

Lilia: Ehehe. The secret is that I ad-lib some screaming shouts as I sing it.

Cater: But it's a lullaby!?

Cater: You're saying there's a baby out there who can listen to your screamo and actually sleep!? You sure they didn't just pass out!?

Lilia: Rude. He was sleeping away so peacefully. Ahh, how nostalgic.

Kalim: Oh, do you have much younger siblings too, Lilia?

Lilia: Well, no, he wasn't a sibling… But I did live with a babe for a while.

Kalim: I'm always trying to sing them lullabies to get them to sleep, but they never do. You'll have to show me your tricks later!

Lilia: Sure thing. How about I show you now… Hm? Looks like Briar Valley lullabies aren't in this app either.

Cater: Aw, man～ Guess it's just a little too specific, huh?

Lilia: So, neither me nor Cater can sing what we want. Kalim would rather dance…

Lilia: Well, some competition this turned out to be. Why don't we just do rock-paper-scissors to decide, then?

Lilia: It only makes sense that he who is the luckiest should shoulder the fate of our band's future.

Cater: That was out of left field...

Kalim: Well, why not? It's easy and we'll be done in a flash.

Cater: Fine… I guess leaving it up to something random like this is more our style anyway.

Lilia: Okay, here we go. Rock, paper, scissors…

Kalim/Cater/Lilia: Go!

Lilia: Yaay～ I win! I get to do the vocals!

Kalim: Maaan～ You're so lucky, Lilia.

Cater: Don't smash up the guitar this year, mmkay～?

Lilia: Yeh! …But after all that, I think the bass or drums would suit me better after all.

Cater: Then what was with that celebrating just now!?

Lilia: I just like snatch the win from those who wanted it, I guess.

Cater: If you need to be the center of attention like that, then maybe the singing guitarist position really does suit you after all?

Lilia: You don't get it, huh. Based on my research, the leader of the band is most often the bassist or the drummer.

Lilia: Also, they got this quiet and mature vibe, which also seems cool to me.

Lilia: You can be the main vocals, Cater, since you'd probably know all the popular songs right now.

Cater: Yaay～ Thanks, Lilia-chan! Then I'll be singing and on guitar! Kalim, what about you?

Kalim: If I'm not the lead vocalist? I only really know the instruments we got back home in the Scalding sands. I'm pretty good at the darbuka.

Cater: What's a darbuka? That's the first time I've ever heard that name.

Lilia: It's a type of drum that makes an exotic sound. I saw it once a long time ago when I visited the Scalding Sands.

Cater: I hate to be that guy, but aren't we gonna stray from the standard three-piece band if we use more specialized instruments…?

Lilia: Well, if you're good at percussion, then you should be on drums! I'll teach you how to play it.

Kalim: Thanks, Lilia! I can't wait to play a new instrument!

Lilia: So that means I'm the bassist and the leader of the band!

Cater: You're really hung up on being the leader, huh～ Okay then, Leader. What should we wear, then?

Lilia: Hm… Good question. Whatever it is, it should be flashy and cool.

Kalim: We can just special order some super fancy costumes! What if we sew on some gems to give them some serious sparkle?

Cater: Nice idea～♪ But there's no way that's in our budget…

Lilia: Yes, unfortunately, we're a small club that's in danger of being disbanded. Probably the only thing we can afford with what little we have is instrument upkeep.

Kalim: So, what, we have to do it with whatever we already own…?

Cater: Our dorm uniforms look cool… But they all clash～

Lilia: What outfit do all of us own that match despite being from different dorms… That's also cool… Hmmm…

Lilia: Oh yeah! What about our ceremonial robes!?

Cater: Lilia-chan, great idea!

Kalim: If you guys are good with it, so am I!

Lilia: Alright, now that we've figured out our costume, we just gotta practice every day until the club orientation!

Kalim/Cater: Yeah!!

[Diasomnia Dorm – Lounge]

Lilia: …Is something that happened once.

Silver: I see, so that's why you weren't on guitar and vocals this year…

Sebek: I found your professional level bass playing to be an unforgettable sight to witness, Lilia-sama!!!!!

Lilia: And rightly so, of course. Kheeheehee.

Requested by @olivebranch311.

#twisted wonderland #twst #lilia vanrouge #cater diamond #kalim al-asim #silver #sebek zigvolt #twst lilia #twst cater #twst kalim #twst silver #twst sebek #twst translation

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hexbees · 1 year ago

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Draco notices you

pairing:: oblivious!nice!draco x slytherin!reader

summary:: you had shared potions with draco since first year but he doesnt notice you until sixth word count:: 731 a/n:: no voldemort so no oncoming war! dracos just a dumb dumb and oblivious. no use of y/n!

Stress burrowed its way into your brows as you stepped into Slughorns NEWT potions class. You scored an O on your OWLs and only feared the amount of work you'll have to put into the next exams. Ranking high in your year has always been important, not only to you but your parents as well. The thought alone is enough to settle a hunch on your shoulders.

You at least felt good about being able to pick the table directly in the middle row, as not all the students had arrived yet. Slughorn was drowning on his greetings from his podium as the room filled. By the time your advanced potions book was situated perfectly center in front of you most spots had been taken besides the one left empty at your table.

When you felt the stool move back as the professor started his introduction it didn't even interest you to see who you’d be stuck with. It had never mattered in the past, you'd even lucked out with lab partners, most people adjoining themselves to their friends. It wasn't until Slughorn finished his speech that you'd taken the time to check what other sixth years had made it into the course. Only a few you could place names on; Harry potter (of course) and his red-haired friend. While most Slytherins had a vendetta against the young wizard he’d only ever been kind to you, so you sent him a smile that he returned with an awkward wave.

“Are you friends with Potter?” The voice came from your side, held a curious tone and sent pinpricks across your skin.

“No, actually. Just being kind.” You didn't take the time to look, you barely recognized the voice and it's not like you had real friends. Especially none that would be in this class with you.

“You're a Slytherin?”

That caught your attention. Six years at Hogwarts and it still surprised people that you could be naturally nice, it was almost aggravating. While most Slytherins dove straight into the stereotypes and embraced them, you never found the time. It took effort to be rude and even more effort to be a typical Slytherin bully.

“Mm” You hummed, finally turning to face the person. “As are you, Malfoy.”

His head tilted the slightest and his lips tugged loosely at the ends. He thought it was cute you’d still be kind while also being a little condescending.

“Are you new?” His pale eyebrows furrowed a little. He genuinely has never seen you before, at least he didn't think he had.

“Nope.” You let it fall from your mouth in the same tone as before, “I sat behind you in potions the last five years, actually.” It wasn't unusual for most students to be unaware of your presence. You'd flown under the radar most years, avoiding drama and parties. You'd spent time studying and reading for fun more than you did conversing amongst everyone else.

His brows only furrowed deeper, “Surely I'd remember that.” You could practically hear the gears screeching as they spun in his head, “Wait,” he snapped his fingers and smiled. If you looked close enough you could see the small dimple that adorned his cheek cutely. “You beat out Granger for, like, every potion assignment. Snape loved you.”

His statement brought your mood up just a bit as you smiled at him, bringing your hands together in your lap.

“Good to know my intelligence precedes me.”

His smile never faltered as he chuckled. “I can't believe we’ve never interacted before” His hair fell to the sides as he shook his head, almost in disbelief.

Slughorn gained attention of the class again and before you knew it you had your first homework assignment at the top of your mental list while packing up your bag.

Draco tapped two fingers on the table in front of you, smiling when you looked up at him with a hum.

“I’ll see you at lunch?” He questioned, “I sit at the end closest to the professors table.” He made it sound like an invitation and you nodded your head quicker than you'd ever admit. His smile only grew at your response as he nodded back.

As you rose to your feet and followed the last of the students through the threshold of the class you couldn't help the giddy smile breaking out across your face.

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celestial-sphere-press · 1 month ago

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Can you recommend any full-scope resources for getting in to bookbinding, especially rebinding books and the different methods of stitching signatures/folios? I've had a really hard time finding comprehensive resources that kind of have all the information collected in one easy to read/watch place, but I really want to start binding my own books! Any resources for supply shops (I'm not in the USA so online might have to do) would be great too!

Ty 🩷

Full-scope in one place is unfortunately not exactly a thing in this hobby, given the very wide range of techniques & training styles. This is why I've found it helpful to be part of a community (even one that is mostly amatuers). @renegadeguild (the discord especially, but here is the website resource page too) is a great group of people that are always finding new tutorials, books, techniques, & material shops to share with each other - or creating them outright when none seem to exist. The discord hosts the bulk of the resources & is open to anyone 18+. Renegade also has regional servers you can join from the main, including outside the US (there are Renegade Europe, Australia, & Asia servers - I'm one of the Renegade Asia mods), which collect more region specific shops, online listings, & classes.

For traditional bookbinding (case bindings & some in-boards styles, plus explanations of adhesives & other basics), I recommend DAS Bookbinding. He has a lot of videos and focuses on technique. I recommend going through his videos by playlist, but he also has a guide to his video listings in his bio description on YouTube. This playlist talks about different sewing styles. Of the people putting out tutorials I would say he is the most comprehensive.

For exposed sewing styles, I'd recommend Bittermelon Bindery, who has a book called Handmade Books At Home that covers several different sewing styles.

r/bookbinding on reddit has a long list of links under the description's "see more."

There are of course other people out there, but there are also whole books on just endband styles or marbling, so to avoid sending you all over the place...

For rebinding, I probably have less useful information for you, as it's not something I do often, but here's a few notes. "Rebinding" in the colloquial sense currently refers to either of two different things: 1) taking a glued together paperback & recovering it to make it a prettier hardcover, or 2) completely taking apart a book (usually one that was sewn; if not sewn, gluing individual pages to "stubs" which are then sewn together), sewing the pages back together ("rebinding"), often with increased structural support, and either restoring the original cover or creating a new one.

#1 is debatable on whether it increases the longevity of the book (mostly because of paper quality & the glue binding), but it's nice for renovating your shelves. DAS also has a few videos on this type of rebinding, plus another here by Nik the Booksmith that I referenced the one time I've done this. Keep in mind they are using different techniques from each other, so you may need to do a little parsing between what different steps they are using. What a lot of people do too is use the square back bradel cover and act like the paperback is just a regular textblock, which does work for type #1 rebinding.

Type #2 rebinding requires some care in removing the glue & taking apart the original binding, because you want it off but not so much you damage the paper below. I have very little experience with this type of rebinding, but it results in a book that will last longer if you do it right. If you aren't concerned with keeping any of the original cover, once you've got the signatures clean & separated it seems pretty similar to starting from scratch.

I know there are a bunch of other rebinding resources out there, I just generally don't know what they are, so my knowledge is a bit lacking here! My ficbinding to-do list is too long for many rebinds to make it into the mix, lol.

Happy binding & best of luck in your future efforts!

#fanbinding #bookbinding #celestial sphere press #in progress review #ask des

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 1 year ago

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Hi!! I absolutely love your fanfics. I was wondering if you could do a Gideon (Gordon) x reader fic that’s kinda angsty to fluff? Maybe the reader and him were close, but he ended up leaving because of how successful G-Man studios was. Then, when Matthew humbled him, he realized that he never should have left?

Awh thank you! For this one, Reader is just replacing Julia more or less

..............

"Are you okay? That looked pretty rough.."

Blinking in surprise, Gordon gazed up at you for a brief moment, seeing the look of concern written all over your face. Yet he didn't have the courage to say anything, as he just sniffled and shook his head, trying to bite back tears.

He thought you were going to make fun of him..just like the rest of this stupid school did after he tried asking out one of the popular girls.

Finally, he had gotten such a burst of confidence, thinking his "fearless" nature was going to score him a date.

But that was all gone now.

He made a damn fool out of himself in front of everyone.

"I think this is yours, Gordon."

Looking back at you, he was shocked to see you kneeling down, the book dusted off and being handed over to him. He quickly snatched it back, cradling it to his chest. "Th-Thanks.." He mumbled. "I'm surprised you even know who I am in all honesty.."

"Well, we do share classes." You mentioned, smiling a little as you both stood up. "You know, they can laugh all they want. But I bet none of those jerks would have the balls to ask her out like you did. I'd say you're truly living up to the "fearless" title."

He was frozen in-place, unsure of what to say as you alluded to his shirt, which he bashfully covered with his oversized coat. When you footsteps walked past him, however, he spun around and saw you going to your locker.

He stumbled after you. "W-Wait!"

"Yeah?"

"You know my name, but I'm afraid yours has slipped by me. What was it again?"

"[Y/n]."

"[Y/n]...well..thank you for the kind words, [y/n]. I wish more people in this stupid school were like you." He tried mustering a smile, although at the moment he seemed self-conscious about his braces. "Would you...l-like to come by my place to study for that test we have tomorrow?"

"...damn it's tomorrow? I was working on a whole flash card set but I kinda fell behind and-"

"Oh I have my own set, too! Maybe we can exchange them and quiz each other!"

"Sounds good." You chuckled, entering your lock combination to grab your notebook. Once you shut the door, you glanced at him, smiling. "I'll catch you after school then, G-Man."

Gordon blinked, jaw-dropped in disbelief as you walked away from him. He just stood there, watching you vanish into the crowd of students on their way to their next class.

A few people whispered and giggled at the way he was staring at you, some even calling him a weirdo or creep.

But this time, he didn't pay them any mind.

You just gave him the coolest nickname ever.

G-Man..

"Wait, the G-Man Empire has fallen, you said?"

"Yeah! Don't you ever watch the news? Apparently Matthew Patel is the new CEO!"

"...hah, I figured karma was gonna catch up to that son of a bitch sooner or later."

"Woah, [y/n]..that's kinda harsh. Didn't you go out with that guy and start on it together? I thought you'd be pissed off about it."

"Why would I be pissed off? He pushed me aside when it got successful and claimed he didn't have "time" for a relationship anymore. And it made me think "well shit, maybe it was never a real one to begin with...maybe he saw us as business partners and nothing more"."

"...damn, I didn't know all of that. My bad."

"No, it's..." Pausing, you held the phone away from your ear for a moment, taking a deep breath before you could get too upset. "Look, I'm over it. I'm not glazing over everything I might've done wrong..it was all him. He turned into a rich douchebag."

"Right, and now he's a broke douchebag." Your friend laughed. "Anyways, if I see him on the streets..I'll deck him in the face for ya, alright?"

"Thanks. Maybe I'll do that, too, if I happen to see him.." You joked as well, already feeling a bit better after ending the conversation, hanging up the phone.

With a small sigh, you turned back to the TV and put on some anime episode, relaxing as you focused more on the show and less on the rainstorm outside...

And Gideon.

But unfortunately for you, a name like that was hard to forget.

Especially as you once knew him as that aloof yet sweet nerd who used to hang out with you after school and on the weekends. Most of your days were spent either studying or watching anime while he explained every bit of lore under the sun.

Sure, highschool had its cringy moments, but other times it was great.

Gid--Gordon made up the best parts of it.

He was the first person you ever saw the Sparks(tm) with.

You two were close, graduating and going into college together, and ultimately helping him form the G-Man business from the ground up. He was inspired by that cool nickname you've given him in highschool, assuring you that you deserved all the credit.

At some point, however, he suddenly changed his name..apparently because he felt like "Gordon Goose" was dead to him.

You agreed that being addressed as "Mr. Goose" was one way to ensure he's never taken seriously, so you accepted his name-change to Gideon.

Then...even more about him began to change.

And soon you barely recognized the man you fell in love with.

As soon as he discovered something called "The Glow", his wealth skyrocketed, but he refused to let you in on what this little secret of his was. And he barely gave you his fair share of the earnings anymore.

It wasn't long before you got shoved aside, and he stayed up on his high horse alongside all the other millionaires and billionaires while you worked at your drastically lower-leveled job that was connected to his business empire.

Yep. His empire.

Not yours and his.

He didn't speak to you again unless it was through some random agent.

You were livid for the way he just left you in the dust, and right as you thought you couldn't hate him even more...

He went out with Ramona Flowers, got broken up with, and formed some bizarre group that apparently included her six other "evil" exes.

Oh, how furious you were.

Not at her, though. You felt terrible after she told you about how controlling he was, but it made you wish that you had a time machine so you could go back and warn her NOT to date that prick.

Or better yet..go back and stop him from turning into a prick.

Now according to your friend, Matthew Patel--Ramona's first ex--won the rights to all of Gideon's properties after a tough fight. But oddly enough nobody knew of his current whereabouts.

They emphasized the point that he was kicked out and not killed..

That made you wonder where he is and if he's-

'Wait..why do I suddenly feel sorry for him?' You blinked, before shaking your head and deciding to pause the episode, realizing you weren't even focusing on the story anymore.

Only that jerk.

Okay, so maybe a small part of you did miss him..and hoped that Gordon would come back. But you had a feeling things won't ever change nor return to what they used to be..

Deciding to clear your thoughts, you threw on your coat and opened the front door, stepping out onto your porch. You didn't go any further, as you simply wanted to take in the sights, sounds, and smells of the rain.

Of course it was windy, too, making the air feel chillier than it actually was.

Through the downpour, however, you could make out a figure that was seemingly limping down the sidewalk.

They were barely lit by the streetlamps, but your heart sunk into your stomach the moment you realized who that was exactly..

"G....Gideon..?"

Sure enough, it was him.

Gideon Graves. The rich asshole who now looked as though he was dragged through the mud several times in a row..completely disheveled with bruises on his face and tears in his usually pristine clothes.

Not to mention he seemed utterly defeated.

Upon hearing his name, he stopped and looked over, stunned to see that you were still living on this same street. "[Y/n].."

You scowled, the words you've exchanged with your friend from earlier coming back into your mind. "Oh, how the mighty have fallen."

"Please..don't remind me.." He rasped, his voice sounding so broken and tired.

"I think I will, actually. Now you know how I felt when you kicked me to the curb."

"...I'll admit it..that was a stupid thing for me to do. And I'm sorry.."

Blinking, you were surprised by his sudden apology. But your guard remained up, as you just huffed. "What? Just because you lost your big empire..you finally decide to grovel at my doorstep in the cold rain and apologize? Where was this last year? Two years ago?"

"........"

You sighed. As much as you despised seeing how sad and pathetic he was acting...it did tug on your heartstrings a little bit. You were starting to catch glimpses of that sweet kid you once knew..

"Gordon?"

He perked up. "Yes?"

"...I see. You haven't entirely killed your old self, then.." You quietly mused.

"You were right, [y/n]. I..I-I never should have left you." He took off his glasses as he sniffled and put them in his pocket, shivering. "I don't have any right coming here, but..I used the last of my money to catch a bus. Just to see the one person I still care about...and...hopefully cares for me, too.."

You blinked. "You...still care about me?"

"I know it didn't seem like it, but...I never stopped.." He mumbled. "I got greedy, ambitious...and lost sight of who really loved me. Now I'm back to where I was before.."

"And that is...?"

"..being a loser.." He was even quieter this time around. So much so, you barely heard him at all...although you knew what he said exactly.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I said...I'm back to being a loser."

You smirked. "One more time?"

"I said I'm a LOSER!!" Gordon snapped, tears finally streaking down his sunken cheeks as he scowled at you. His shout was hoarse, yet pained at the same time. "I-I'm a loser, okay?! A loser who doesn't deserve to grovel at your doorstep like this. A loser who should just lay down and die-''

Then he heard your small laughter and stopped his pity party, sniffling as he stared at you. "Wh-What's so funny?"

"You are a real loser for leaving me...but I'm just as much of a loser for wanting to let you back into my life.." Sighing, you shook your head before you grabbed the umbrella beside your door, opening it and heading down the steps.

He stared at you, now seeing that you two were standing under the umbrella together, totally sheltered from the rain.

Why were you doing this?

You looked at him. "You know, I thought about decking you in the face earlier..but I'll take you admitting you're in the wrong any day. Now let's get out of this rain."

A small whimper left his lips as he shuddered, practically clinging to you while you wrapped an arm around him, leading him back into your house.

In that moment, sparks flew, and Gordon realized he was finally seeing them at their strongest.

#clanask #anonymous #scott pilgrim x reader #scott pilgrim takes off x reader #spto x reader #gideon graves #gordon goose #gideon graves x reader #gordon goose x reader #hurt/comfort #angst/fluff #angst to fluff

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