#nonbinary sex positivity

[queerism1969]

[awesomedaniella234]

Still your sexy Daniella 🥰

[roses-are-repulsed]

A lot of trans support posts are about how sexy or dateble you are as a trans person and that can make repulsed trans people very uncomfortable and feel as if theitr identity only matters if people find them attractive. So I'm here to say to my repulsed trans friends: you are so much more than how attractive others find you. You deserve support that doesn't sexualize you or objectify you. You deserve to be supported in a way that is comfortable to you. You deserve respect and understanding. You deserve to be the best you that you can be.

[creamyalyssa]

Can I be your favourite trans 🥵

Feel free to text me if you're shy follow me and I'll text you 😜

[intersexfairy]

sending love and support to cis intersex people with dysphoria <3 your intersex body is wonderful, AND you deserve to do whatever you need to feel at home in your body and mind.

you can use different pronouns, you can wear different clothing, you can put on makeup, you can go on HRT, you can get affirming procedures or prosthetics. you can do none of that and just focus on accepting and taking care of yourself. whatever would make you happiest and healthiest! because that's what matters.

[cemitadepollo]

Just wanted to say to my pals with endometriosis that you deserve a sexual partner that respects your boundaries and has the patience to please you in a way that doesn't hurt you <3

You're not "asking for too much."

[nebulaic147]

Suggestion for a New Flag

Hello my friends,

I have been reconsidering parts of my sexuality recently. I have found it difficult to find a title that works with my specific, fluctuating relationship to asexuality and allosexuality. Graysexuality came closest but it still didn't sit right for me.

So, I would like to propose a new sexuality term:

Trochosexuality

Explanation

Trochosexuality (from the Greek prefix trocho- meaning ‘wheel, hoop’); an individual who identifies with this label is trochosexual, or a trochi/trochee (there is no gender definition in this distinction, it's more a matter of personal preference as 'trochee' is also a term associated with poetic metre).

Trochosexuality fluctuates between asexual and allosexual in varied degrees and intensities, generally with a sex-positive outlook. It is related to graysexuality where a person experiences little or no sexual attraction. However, trochosexuality is defined by undulating patterns of attraction. Sometimes, one is sex-repulsed or -indifferent, other times, sex-favourable.

The key difference from graysexuality is that one can experience sexual attraction (sex-favourable) on a relatively frequent and intense basis, but only at certain times and under certain circumstances. The same is the case with sex indifference or sex repulsion. One might have no allosexual inclinations, no asexual inclinations, or a blend of both at different times and in different situations.

It is possible for these patterns of attraction to overlap and co-exist (for example, feeling sex-favourable but having enough of a repulsed or indifferent edge to not want to act on it). Trochosexuals can but do not necessarily shift from one extreme to another (from sex-repulsed ace to sex-favourable allo). Periods of attraction and non-attraction can shift slowly or swiftly.

The Flag

Purple: Represents queerness and community; Can also be taken to represent the ace flag

White: Represents a lack of attraction and/or sex-repulsion; May also be taken to represent the allo flag

Orange: Represents presence of attraction and/or sex-favourableness; Has historically been used in flags as a symbol of healing, independence, and nonconformity (as with maveriques and gender nonconforming persons) - here, one might extend that meaning to trochosexuality's nonconformity to societal standards about sexual attraction

Yellow: Represents the middling or layered presence of attraction and/or sex-indifference; Can also mean joy in one's sexuality and sexual attraction/lack thereof

NOTE: The fluctuation of more and less vibrant colours in the lines represents the shifts of trochosexual attraction.

The hoops: Represent one’s cyclical, yet complex and often interwoven patterns of attraction. The threaded links–whose black and white lining and inner colours are inverted–reflect how attraction can weave and overlap seamlessly.

Let me know if you want clarification, there is confusion, or if you have any further suggestions to elaborate or change. Everyone who relates to this term is fully welcome to use it regardless of gender or sexual or romantic orientation.

If you plan to share this information, please reblog and/or give me credit.

With love, T. C.

[gray-ace-space]

happy pride month to acespecs; to the gray aces, demisexuals, aegosexuals, acefluxes, and others; to acespecs with queer attractions, to straight acespecs, and to aroacespecs; to trans and genderqueer acespecs; to acespecs who enjoy sex, acespecs who don't, and ones who are on the fence; to acespecs of color; to disabled and neurodivergent acespecs - especially to those whose neurodivergency or trauma is a factor in their asexuality; to kinky acespecs; to the acespecs who are secure in their identity and to the acespecs still figuring it out - you're all wonderful and important to the ace and larger queer community! let's celebrate you! 💜🌈♠✨

[basofy]

god this was so cringey shut up all you've ever seen regarding women has been a smelly rat in the mirror and distorted photoshopped images of women with big boobees you know nothing

[moonibinbon]

Any suggestions for feminist/queer/progressive video essays, specifically that would make “woke-hating” and “spiritual” conservatives froth at the mouth? I need to be reassured that I’m still sane and polarity is just reductive 1950s sexism reframed. Help 😭

[queerism1969]

[butch-with-a-deep-voice]

HRT and the Mental Changes of Arousal AKA How Horny "Feels"

Alright folks we need to have a conversation about how much your libido changes with transition and hormones because that was NOT talked about with the informed consent program I went through, and it honestly should have been. How I feel aroused now is so drastically different than beforehand, in both subtle and obtuse ways, and it is FASCINATING. This post is mainly going to focus on how libido and arousal mentally feel, but I have anecdotal observations on the mechanical changes if there is interest in that. Strap in, this post is gonna be a long one.

I would like to preface that this comes from my own personal experiences as a trans feminine person. If your experiences as a trans person are different, please by all means I would love to hear your input. I have been on HRT for over half a decade, and have had an orchiectomy (in layman's terms I've been fixed), so my adrenal glands do produce a classically female level of testosterone and I no longer need to be on T-blockers. I'm also demisexual, so my experience with sexuality as a baseline is a little different than most.

As someone who works great in communicating via metaphor/simile, I will provide a detailed simile for both testosterone libido, and estrogen libido. I also want to say I prefer estrogen tenfold. I pick it every single day. While I've met other trans people who disagree, my own experiences with testosterone vs. estrogen fueled libidos will fully bias the similes.

Testosterone Libido: The best way I can describe what testosterone fueled libido felt like is once you hit puberty, you have a monkey strapped to your back. Some people's monkeys are better behaved, others more belligerent. Some are more easily "calmed down", while some are more easy to excite. But at the end of the day, it's still a monkey strapped to your back.

What I mean by that is that you are always going to be aware of a goddamn monkey strapped to your back. Sometimes the little guy is silent. Maybe it's having a nap, or it's awake but contented to just quietly "look around". Every now and then it stirs, maybe someone's butt looked nice in a pair of jeans, and you're like "right, monkey..." Honestly I got so fucking annoyed with that monkey just always being there whether I wanted it or not. It's never not there.

But, then the monkey really wants something. I don't know if you've ever seen a monkey really wanting something on video, but they can get pretty demanding really fast. That monkey that's been piggy backing you starts vocalizing in your ear, screeching even. Hitting you. Pulling your hair. I WANT A FUCKING BANANA HUMAN, GIVE IT TO ME. It gets aggressively loud, often times shockingly fast. It will go from napping to throwing a tantrum in less than a minute sometimes. And all you can do is either ride it out and hope to whatever deity you pray to it calms down, or eventually give it what it wants. Hopefully you're home, and you can quickly get one out so to speak. But until then, how on earth are you supposed to be able to get ANYTHING done when there's a monkey screeching away in your ear and slamming on you.

I'm very fortunate to have been raised by a father who taught me how to ignore that monkey. How to respectfully build a resilience to it's tantrums. But, it was always there still. That monkey made me feel so shameful. I hated how often my libido was always a reminder of how aggressive being horny could feel. How blinding it had the potential to get. Often times satisfying it wasn't even pleasurable. It was so often just "oh my god fine would you please just shut the fuck up?" My relationship with my sexuality was often unhealthy as a result of this experience with arousal.

One thing I will give testosterone over estrogen though? That monkey can only get so loud. There is a "cap" for how aroused I could get with my testosterone-fueled libido. I have yet to find the cap for estrogen.

Estrogen Libido: Libido and arousal now, with a body fueled by estrogen and minimal amounts of testosterone is akin to a fine wine. It is wholly and fully intoxicating. What do I mean by that? Well, let's take an evening of drinking a fine wine that you have theoretically unlimited supply of, and you have a somewhat standard constitution.

With a single glass, you can continue to be normal. You may not even notice more than a pleasant mildly "fuzzy" feeling, and your thought patterns being influenced ever so slightly. Hell, you may not even notice those. Most around you wouldn't even guess that you've partaken. Assuming you pace yourself properly, you can "float" in that pleasant not-even-tipsy state for quite some time. That's the thing with estrogen I found. You can float in the various stages all day if you want to. "Ride the wave" as a number of my sex-positive friends have called it. There's no monkey forcing you to drink more. You can just enjoy a pleasant buzz all day (and I often have).

Let's say you have more wine though. I like to call the next stage silly arousal. You've had two glasses, maybe three depending on your tolerance. You start feeling more... unraveled. You can still think, hold a conversation, act more or less normally. But people who are more tuned in can start to tell you've had a drink. You feel friendlier, sometimes that fuzzy feeling has gotten more full bodied, your eyes linger in certain areas when looking at people longer than you'd like to admit. "Have their lips always looked that kissable?" or "Wow their waist looks really nice in that top." But you still feel like a normal person. You wouldn't say you're Horny with a capital "H", just... pleasantly activated. I will fully admit on days where I don't have to fully be a responsible adult I have floated in this stage all day long before. It's a delicious feeling to sit in.

But what if we indulge further? Usually by this point you are drinking with inebriation being a goal, whether that is a fully conscious or unconscious choice. Beforehand the other two stages can be reached over a classic "wine with dinner" situation. Light flirtation, a mildly steamy romance novel, hell maybe even scrolling through here. Now though you've had a bottle of wine, you're properly tipsy. This is where the metaphor of arousal being an inebriant comes into full swing. For me at least, it is a very full bodied feeling (that's a whole other tangent for the mechanical affects of HRT and sex life). Your judgment, thought patterns, and decision making start being heavily influenced by your mental state. Some with more willpower/constitution are still able to get by around others, you're just "acting funny". Others are so obvious when they drink it's like blood in the water for those who know what to look for. This is the stage where if I want to not make poor choices, I stop drinking so to speak. I put my hand over my proverbial glass if someone offers to pour another. I even leave the party if I have to. Why? Because just like alcohol, the jump from this stage to the next is both subtle and pervasive in how fast it hits you.

We are drinking to get drunk now. Just like the threshold between tipsy and drunk, because of how clouded you already were the transition will really sneak up on you. I get TINGLY all over from it, with sensations all over my body becoming electric. You start saying things that you would never say day-to-day. You stop being able to hide how much you've had. Heavily flirting, getting touchy, biting your lip. You can't really think of anything else outside of just how intoxicated you are. If you're someone who is particularly... self-lubricating you're fully making a wet patch in your clothing. You are DRUNK and holy shit is it amazing. Why would anyone want to not want to feel like this? Not want to healthily engage in this every day if they could? Arousal feels so fucking good with estrogen. You feel amazing, you feel confident, and you are willing to make some truly stupid decisions that you may regret because they feel good in that moment. For me at least, I would say this is roughly the area where that testosterone libido monkey can't get much louder. If arousal could be tracked on a bar graph, testosterone capped somewhere around here for me. Estrogen though...

Just like any night of drinking, you can keep going. You can be drunk, and still keep drinking (only difference here is you aren't going to be completely battering your liver doing so). Just like alcohol, this is where I think anecdotal experiences will begin to vary wildly person to person. As such I will talk about what it's like for me. I won't usually reach this stage and beyond it without the help of another person or heavily engaging in smut/pornography. This is a headspace I'm actively trying to push into. Usually by engaging in intentional denial of the act of sex/climax in some form or another while still "drinking".

Pushing beyond "drunk" arousal starts getting irresistibly pervasive, affecting just about EVERYTHING. I feel quite legitimately high off of it at times. Speech pattern gets warped beyond belief, sometimes outright going non-verbal. The slightest touch can be pleasurable. My vision will warp if it gets intense enough (and interestingly warps differently depending on domme space, sub space, or simply "feral" horny). It sometimes even gets so warped I've been known to "Etch-a-Sketch" shake my head in a futile attempt to clear it up. Being neurodivergent, stims start creeping out of the woodwork uncontrollably, I assume because of nervous system overload. My body will fully begin to "betray me" so to speak. Squirming in my seat, drooling to fully obscene degrees, muscles in my abdomen fluttering because even a stray thought caused enough arousal to engage them. If it's allowed to go long enough I will fully begin to growl or whimper passively under my breath, depending on the type of horny.

All of these are just a handful of examples as to just how utterly intoxicating arousal and libido are now with estrogen. The truly startling part of it is I have yet to find the cap to it. I've yet to go fully down that rabbit hole. Part of me is a little scared to if I'm honest. When you get to this stage and onward, your mental state is frighteningly pliable. That level of "inebriation" has fully created new kinks that I'd not had before (or at the very least were buried so deep they weren't something worth digging up). If you or your partner is someone who can reach this level of intoxicated arousal, please please please handle it with care because being ripped out of it is ROUGH on your nervous system. (ie, sub-drop and domme-drop). There are some true horror stories out there for how intense it can be. But if you can engage it safely and healthily, holy shit is it the best. I legitimately prefer it over actual chemical inebriants (although my intox kink would say otherwise).

So, this all being said, I do want to reiterate that these are simply my experiences with how much arousal and libido changed with hormone replacement therapy. Everyone's bodies will react differently, and if you've also experienced a drastic shift with HRT, and it's different to mine I would love to hear. I also have a lot of points I'd love to make on the more physical aspects, from the viscosity of self lubricants, to the fact that I can now orgasm multiple times with no "get sleepy after cumming" endorphin response. If there's interest I'd be happy to get into those.

Thanks for reading!

[insert-name-heres-things]

How to work through internalized homophobia, transphobia, sexual shame, ablism and sexism, no borax or glue? /hj but gen

[xcharliex1992]

Express yourself don't repress yourself

And I'm not sorry (I'm not sorry)

I'm not sorry

(It's human nature) It's human nature

And I'm not sorry (I'm not sorry)

I'm not sorry

I'm not your bitch don't hang your shit on me

(It's human nature)

[haystarlight]

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I remember making a post about this but for the life of me I can't find it

[bakedbanana42069]

Mækir - WIP (Astarion x Non-binary OC)

Hello! Just promoting my multi-chaptered WIP. There's 12 more fics before it, but they're all oneshots - bar one with three chapters.

This entire thing started as an excuse to dom the shit out of Astarion, so of course my OC had to grow a whole ass personality, backstory and has seized control of this whole operation.

There's quite a few themes surrounding mental health and trauma, particularly as a result of childhood abuse and neglect. It can get a little heavy, and is going to get heavier still.

Also smut.

So take my hand and come with me, we're going on a fucking journey!

Description:

'"There are very few people I care about in this world, and I will let them set it aflame if it keeps them warm."

"And when the world isn't enough? Will you let them throw you on the pyre, just to protect them from the cold for a little while longer?"

They feel sick, all of a sudden.'

Also known as: Skalmir starts their own damned questline.