#noms are weird au

[skullsnbruises]

May I request anything with G!Tommy? (Can be noms)

(maybe something to do with your naw au? I miss that au 🙏)

Tommy and Ranboo’s secret friendship

Ranboo’s design in this isn’t final, I’m working out some choices between hair color, outfit, and deciding if he should have vitiligo

(One day I’ll make a post of everyone’s designs)

Closeups and taglist under the cut!

TAGLIST @brick-a-doodle-do @poprockpanda

[inamagicalhallucination]

at what point of their relationship would akutagawa accept that being w/ atsushi just means he has to get used to being bitten semi regularly and /not/ in the sexy way

or would that be one of atsushi's selling points to begin with

[nomsfaultau]

Just thought I share something from a friend thought you would like

Whhhhg I’m influencing the Masses 😳

[oscar-piastri]

every year i annoy my friend to get her opinion on the f2 drivers even though she doesnt know shit. this year i forgot so we’re catching up with a new edition but make it “opinions on my favorites drivers”

[nomiyakazehaya]

seeing as kingdom hearts has officially and royally altered my brain chemistry permanently, have some nobody names i brainstormed for megatron to go with that wip drawing 🥲

under the cut because i'm a coward and feel super cringe and flustered at the last minute sharing these lmaoo

xagremont

xagrentom

xangretom

xerontagm

xentoragm

moxargent

margoxent

rexagmton

personally, i really like the first three, and especially xagremont. it actually sounds close enough to be a real organization xiii name margoxent is also a very close second candidate for that imo 😂

[boiled-ginger-ale]

Hey i want you to know i smile everytime you post because the need for wholesome sfw mcyt vore is real and you do it so well, it makes my heart melt

Also its all inspired me to make some of my own mcyt nom au of sorts but im honestly so scared to post anything about it?? How do you do it, its so impressive omg

Actually i have a few things to say here, and thats also that i wanna ask of you just post about hermitcraft and empires people, or if youre in other mcyt circles? Dont have to answer that one if you dont want to, just curious. Oh and i implore you to consider pred!grian and prey!mumbo for literally anything, they make me ill and i need to see them be silly together

- the-sussy-imposter2

First of all, real, im a total sucker for the mcyt vore fluff and i love making that everyone's problem but it is a bit of an agony im one of the main guys doing it because it means if i want content i have to make it. ;-;

people always seem to ask me how i have the confidence to post all my weird stuff and the only answer i can come up with is that i just do not fear god? /silly i am immune to social propaganda and i do what i want. i wish people would unapologetically like weird harmless things more... the concept of cringe is dead live ur best life man

I- i think im in other circles? i guess i just dont post about them at all. a lot of them kinda overlap, like the lifers and sos guys. used to watch dsmp sometimes but never really got into it so that doesn't count.

GRIAN AND MUMBO THO! peak pred-prey dynamic. so silly and stupid together. mumbo is very pathetic and i feel like he would put himself in terrible situations constantly. Grian has to watch him constantly or he'll end up lost/somewhere hes not supposed to be.

[snexy-the-snail]

You think you can write a short of Apollo nomming on Percy sometime after the biting incident? I’d really like to see that they’re on good terms and Percy deserves as many comfort spaces as he can get

Love the au you’ve built up, I might take some inspiration for my own writing. Thank you so much!🤗

OO please do take inspiration!! I am living on pure spite atm and would live to revive PJO vore!!! and Of course-)) 

It had been weeks after the biting incident, and even more since A schedule of being eaten or sat with had been put in place. As much as it was embarrassing the sleep was too good to be truly upset. It was still gross, and half the time he felt like kicking Hermes teeth when he made a weird joke or teased him, but things weren't horrible.  

Percy grimaces and stretches, trying to soothe the aches that came with practicing with the newcomers. Some of those wooden swords hurt, and the metal ones even more, thank you. He sighs glancing towards the beach wondering if that would take some of the odd aches away, it usually did, sometimes. Water healing got weird when it came to bodies, sicknesses and colds? Nothing. Cuts? Perfect, which seemed mildly unfair. He groans and leans again on a tree closing his eyes to soak up the warmth of the day. Maybe he should just go kill some monster, blow off some steam and get the adrenaline pumping.  

Perfect day for it after all, it was bright, sunny, and-  

He narrows his eyes cautiously glancing around the wood.  

"I know you're there." He calls out, scowling when nothing happens. So, he brought out Riptide. It had to be Apollo; the warmth was undeniable. He could've stabbed a tree in frustration when he didn't get a response.  

"What do you want to hear that I won't bite you again?" He snaps eyeing the trees like Apollo would morph out of one. That apparently was the issue considering the God appeared, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "Serious? You were afraid I'd bite?" he asks with a scowl. Then again Triton had fully held him away like someone would with a naughty cat. Or a lizard- well Annabeth and a lizard at least.  

"Not afraid! Just- well biting usually means big ole' seaweed beard shows up and last time he was not happy about the whole, trying to get you to take a nap thing."  

Percy scoffs and caps his sword, pocketing it. "Well, you deserved it, I said no." He points out crossing his arms. At least Apollo had the decency to look somewhat ashamed.  

"I thought you were...ya know cranky?" The god says with a shrug, Percy very much scowling at the comment. Maybe he had been, but the fact Apollo was calling him out to that wasn't thrilling. "Or at least, Hermes says you're all squirmy and rude at first, so I thought it was just part of the process." Apollo continues not looking Percy in the eye.  

Of course. Percy let an exhausted sigh out a hand running through his hair. 12-year-old him would've flipped if this is what the future looked like. "I've seen you like, 5 times, and we don't have that whole directly related thing going on." He starts off. Sure, he had seen his dad about the same, but the sea god was *his* dad. Apollo might be his cousin or something, but he didn't *know* him like he did Hermes.  

"I've seen Hermes more than my own dad, talked with him too, so he's familiar I guess...I just... You're not."  

That didn't sound too brutal, did it? Oh. Apollo's gaze was hard, serious. It was weird considering he had only seen the god acting goofy half the time. He looked...godly almost. The silence was awkward, and Percy hated it, about to open his mouth to fill the silence but Apollo beat him to it.  

"I'd never hurt you. You know that right?"  

"What?"  

"I said I'd never hurt you. You're the reason half my kids are alive. They pray to me about you, about what you've done for them." Apollo continues with a bittersweet smile on his face. "And it kills me that you're not taking care of yourself. Hero of Olympus, title bearers of heroes of old, it doesn't matter. You're still just a kid under that."  

Percy swallows thickly not moving an inch as the god approached him, much like a stray horse, a warm hand settling on his shoulder. It was a different warmth than his dad's or Triton's. It was pure soul bringing warmth opposed to the gentle cooling his sea families brought.  

"Just a kid huh?" He laughs bitterly, closing his eyes, soaking in the soothing warmth. It washed over his soreness much like the waves did. The air feeling crisp in his lungs as he drew a breath. "Where was that thinking when I was 12."  

The silence that settled over them wasn't comfortable, though Apollo had a sorrowful expression on his face. "Gods don't change, not truly. But you, Percy Jackson, have certainly demanded we try."  

It was an honesty he swore he couldn't get from his father half the time...then again truth fell within Apollos domain. He wasn't sure why the sudden honesty, well partly. He crosses his arms and steps away from the warm weight on his shoulder. "Someone's gotta try for a better future." He grumbles.  

And it was getting better. From what he heard God spent more time with their kids than just eating them. He knew for sure Poseidon was, Nico literally had a room and Apollo dropped by fairly often to see his kids now. Especially Will.  

Apollo chuckles ruffling his hair with a grin. "You're a good kid, and I know Uncle P is proud of you." The god continues a fond look twinkling in his eyes.  

"Yeah, mmhm." He laughs barely trying to tame the wild mess that Apollo had created. He knew exactly what the God was seeking now but...funnily enough it was better, like a slow drawn-out permission. Comforting, like Hermes would do it. A small chat before getting to business.  

He was...feeling a bit drawn out and exhausted. The training took more out of him than he had been expecting. He sighs heavily leaning against a tree looking back to Apollo. The god stood there silently, his gaze watching him intently. Taking in each movement and any expression he made. Clearly waiting to see his response.  

"It's better." He says suddenly, hiding a smile when the god jolted at his voice, like he wasn't expecting it. "What is?"  

"This." He says gesturing vaguely. "Small talk, no taunting. I don't like cat and mouse games."  

"I wasn't- " 

"You are. You guys stand weird when you're thinking about it." Percy points out raising a brow. It was a stance, a slightly arched one, tense like a predator stalking its prey though, it felt...oddly relaxing.  

Apollo seemed stunned, before a rolling laugh poured from him. His eyes twinkle, his lips quirking upwards. "People should give you more credit. You're a rather observant little whirlpool."  

A scoff draws from him, rolling his eyes as he looked the god over. "It's more common sense. Any god I've seen always does that before they snag someone."  

He wasn't being snagged per say, Apollo was working up to it which he'd gladly take. Gave him more time to calm his nerves. "Anyway, get it over with, I've got another lesson in like two hours." he says with a dramatic sigh.  

There was a pause before Apollo approached him cautiously, getting more confident when no teeth sunk into his arm this time. "I'm not gonna bite this time." Percy complains, half tempted to give a small shove.  

"Well forgive me for being cautious, I can't tell if you're just sassy or genuinely feral." The god shoots back before his hand settles on his shoulder, giving it a warm squeeze. Rather than his vision blurring and warm divine energy sinking into him, Apollos form twisted and grew right in front of him, his hand steadily covering his entire body.  

He hums, going limp once massive fingers curl over his body lifting him up in a loose fist. It was a lot warmer than he was expecting. The ocean felt cool, soothing like aloe over a sunburn, Hermes felt breezy almost, a rush under his skin. Apollo was warm. Like incredibly warm. It was..comfortable actually.  

"Still with me Perc?"  

He hadn't even realized he had closed his eyes until the god spoke, jolting out of his thought. "Mm? Yeah. You're just warm." He mumbles. He stifles a yawn, scowling instead. He grumbles under his breath when it's met with a soft chuckle.  

"I can still bite you." He warns, huffing as he'd brought up to the gods face, a cheeky smile spread across the lips. "So can I Mr. Piranha." Apollo teases, clacking his teeth together.  

If it had been 3 months ago the tease probably would've terrified him, but Percy was more than used to the jabs by now. He rolls his eyes instead, half heartily kicking the gods cheek, sticking his tongue out when Apollo took his foot between his lip. The god was having way too much fun with this.  

"Oh no I'm so terrified. Spare me." The monotone voice only seemed to spur more amusement from the god, a chuckle rumbling from him before his lips parted. The slick feeling of saliva soaking into him as he was eased further inside. Huh. It was more goopy sorta thick... Like honey almost. He must've made a face because a vibration of laughter ran through him. "Yeah, laugh it up, you have gross insides."  

He scoffs trying to remain aloof as he slipped further inside the gods tongue safeguarding him from scraping against the bottom teeth. "You know one of these days you should be less gross and just magic me inside. Dad said you guys do that too." He points out closing his eyes as he let the warmth roll over him. It was comforting, soothing his aches and pains in ways water did.  

The motions were familiar, his feet hitting the back of the gods throat, he tenses briefly, surprised when nothing happened. He cracks his eyes open a bit, waiting for a swallow to ripple over his feet but he sorta just laid there. He craned his neck the best he could, but he couldn't exactly see what expression was on the god's face. Fingers brushed against his head, like he was seconds from being pulled back out.  

"Are you...waiting?" he asks slowly, a tad stunned. He hadn't expected that. All because he tensed a bit? Huh...that was oddly thoughtful. "I'm fine, it just gets weird with the sensation of falling." he admits after a second. A hum rolls over him before the familiar grasp of muscles tugs him downwards. The pressure and squeezing are almost comforting at this point. He sighs heavily closing his eyes again, not that it mattered considering the surrounding innards glowed.  

The rippling of the muscles pulling him down was a motion that he had actually gotten used to. Mindlessly he counted the seconds, keeping his breathing as even as possible as he was squeezed and squished. The tight feeling at his feet giving way with the slight pressure.  

Instead of a drop he was expecting it was more of a slide, the thick goopy insides making him scrunch his face up. "Ugh, why are you so goopy?" He grumbles. He shifted upwards, trying to push against the plush muscle, his hands sinking into it like putty. Different for sure.  

"I'm not goopy! Literally none of my kids have ever complained."  

"It's literally like putty in here!"  

He makes face pulling his hand back, the thick mucus clinging to his hand as he did. "Actually at least putty doesn't stick to you." He grumbles, flopping back against the stomach, wall, grimacing when he sunk into the plush muscle.  

"I'm sorry next time I'll tidy up, put some air fresheners inside, maybe add a rug." Apollo scoffed, Percy smirking when he felt a few very pointed pokes targeting his back.  

"I feel like a rug would make this ten times worse." Percy laughs, closing his eyes with a sigh. He had two hours before his next lesson...that gave him some time for a night. "Might turning out the light? Man, you're like the worst to nap with." he teases, stretching out a bit. It was like being on a weird waterbed. He could get used to water, but this was like an oddly firm Jello. 

A dramatic sigh caused the muscles to ripple all around him, the light fading from a bright light to a softer glow. "My kids never complain." the god grumbles, though the fond tone indicated he wasn't truly upset.  

"Your kids sometimes actually glow in the dark, so doesn't surprise me- now shut it." Percy murmurs, not real heat in his voice as he relaxes further into the organ. It really was like sunbathing, a constant warmth enveloping him no matter how he moved or turned. His lips quirk up, more so when a steady pressure rubs against his back.  

So, Apollo wasn't as bad as he first had thought that was good to know. He could live with this.  

"Wake me up in two hours, I'm serious I have classes to teach." He grumbles, not even fighting the wave of exhaustion.  

"Mmhm, we'll see if you're up for it then."  

Percy scowls, letting an annoyed huff out. Well, there went the rest of his day. 

[enniyart]

Well, here is some sketches with human!Draal and Nomura

I'm totally in love with AUs where Draal turns into human, acts weird like Blinky did but Nomura tries to help him handle with it

I'm a bit crazy from headcanon that in Japan Nomura was the head of the Yakuza and traditionally had tattoos on her shoulders. that is why nowadays in human form she wears clothes that cover her shoulders and part of her arms

Aaaand yes, there is smol Nom in her first kimono and she is very happy having it

[astraymetronome]

What do you think would happen between sam & tommy if one of them shrunk and found the other ?

Well, in the situation Tommy shrunk and was found by Sam I'm pretty sure he'd just be pretty protective. Because of how some people are, the stuff under the cut is gonna be me talking about g/t with vore. Everything above the cut is just your normal g/t stuff, though the normal stuff does work with the vore stuff!

I'm kind of going off of the Awesamdad Au by Grimmijaggers on YT for some of this idea. •~•

Sam

Sam would definitely go into a Creeper mindset. He'd probably scoop Tommy up and hide him in his inventory or maybe tuck him away in a pocket, close to his heart.

They would both probably fight a lot, I know it's really out of character, but I think it fits. I'll explain in Tommy's sections.

In the situation Tommy is permanently small, Sam would probably get into the habit of holding him like a kitten. Kinda of scruffing him or holding him using something on his mask to just keep Tommy in his sight and somewhere easily accessible.

Sam would be a very soft giant, constantly worried about the small person with him and checking them over as often as he could. In the event they're hurt, Dream showing up, he would probably be harsh and growl to try and scare them away. I know Sam is, canonically, a bit selfish, and I'm not faulting the man for feeling like a victim, but he'd not be good at fighting. Just a head cannon, since he's so worried over needs and such.

He probably takes his mask off around Tommy, letting the teen see his face and stuff. He probably chitters and chirps to ground him when he's panicking or something, it was definitely a big help when the shrinking first happened-

Tommy

He would definitely burst into laughter at first. He's too much of a menace to take someone shrinking seriously. I know this contradicts my Trapped Dream Au but different situations >:(

I'd probably have raccoon!Tommy for this if I ever make it an au. So Tommy would totally hide Sam in his den and do his best to keep him comfortable. His instincts would either register him as a member of his nursery or a kit he needs to protect.

If anyone was to try and hurt Sam, he would definitely go feral, spitting, hissing and biting until he can either get away or scare the threat away. He is very protective of tiny Sam and will make sure anyone and everyone knows.

Tommy definitely chitters and chirps at Sam when he's being stubborn or something. He'd treat him like a child despite knowing full well he's an adult. I think, in a way, it would be a sense of pride for him. Feeling like he's in control, even if it is inherently bad and unhealthy.

On the fluffy side of things, he would definitely hold Sam with or cover him with his tail when he wants attention or to give some comfort. He'd end up being a good pillar for Sam to rely on when he needed someone or was having a bad shrink day? I don't know how to describe it but I think you get the idea.

Okie- noms from here folks!

Sam

Using the logic that he's a creeper, Sam would probably be pretty protective over small Tommy. Like, he'd be borderline possessive. Tommy would definitely curl up with cats to keep Sam from storing him when he's in trouble. Unorthodox but effective at keeping from time outs.

Sam would so be a very careful pred, he'd not want to hurt Tommy and probably hold his breath whenever they did noms, because his exhales hold thick smoke and heavy carbon. Think of it like his lungs are a working explosion, constantly burning the oxygen he pulls in to make the smoke and stuff he needs? It's weird but cool in my opinion.

Tommy definitely makes smoker jokes and constantly mocks Sam in a smoker voice. It's often the reason he gets nommed because he won't stop insisting Sam smokes 3 packs a day when he needs to be quiet.

At first, Tommy was very scared, like he would scream his lungs out and claw at Sam's storage until he was let out: levels of fear. Now he just squirms and will randomly be loud to scare Sam into thinking he's back when they first started doing this. Aka protective creeper go brrr.

Sam has a colored green storage and Tommy is constantly put off by it like- 'it shouldn't be that color!' and Sam just constantly reminds him that he's barely human and isn't gonna have human insides. Tommy still thinks he needs to fix it. He can't.

Tommy

Tommy took probably five minutes after Sam shrunk before he shoved him in his mouth because: instincts. Let me have this. He is the raccoon child for a reason.

Sam so freaked out and probably gave Tommy plenty of indigestion- probably let off an accidental explosion or two due to his panic. Let's just say Tommy had a scar in his stomach lining that Sam hasn't mentioned. Tommy finds out after having swallowed another shrunk person, probably Tubbo or Ranboo.

He loves teasing Sam, nipping and biting him all the time because it's his love language. Aka he wants to show Sam he cares and does it the only way he really knows- violence and noms. Noms too.

Using raccoons as reference, Tommy soaks Sam in water before he noms him, like Sam knows what's gonna happen when he's being held and Tommy pulls out a water bottle and a bowl.

Tommy spends the entire time Sam is in his storage, or stomach I haven't decided it should have the same conditions as Trapped Dream Au, purring and chittering to himself. He will poke and prod Sam until he's squirming around and stuff because he absolutely loves having the sensation!

If anyone has any other ideas or head cannons for this, send them as asks! I'd love to talk about this more ^^

[lobotomysbrajn]

HEY SHAT made an au for a really niche horror movie

*cough cough*

The final prayer

TW : DIGESTION TALK

Gonna keep it short so I don’t get cluttered 💀 so basically there are 2 protagonists

Deacon and Gray

So in this universe gray survives because (spoilers for the movie) at the end of the movie gray and deacon are digested alive by the pagan diety because they entered a cave underneath a church they were investigating and that cave ended up being its stomach

Right so in my au gray gets way to freaked out and never crawls into the narrow cave with deacon and when deacon enters it shuts and he watches his friend get brutally digested alive and he cannot do anything he’s forced to watch and hear the screams this traumatizes gray after watching his friend get digested by the cave leaving his soul venerable and the pagan diety enters his body kinda like possessing him in a weird way

So basically gray is still himself but can get possessed at random times and when he is possessed he gets craving for human flesh and might nom people but if gray has control which he usually does he is able to fight digesting his prey and instead usually is able to hack them up unless they are a horrible person

Anyway I’m gonna stop yapping and get to the transformation levels rq lol and show pics of the diety and gray possessed XD

1. Yellow eyes and sharp teeth (he still has some control and can still make decisions)

2. Horns and claws along with his sharp teeth (looses most of his humanity at this stage but still has a little bit)

3. Fur spouts and he has elongated limbs along with all the other side effects (this is when the beast takes full control it still looks like gray but really it’s just the deity at that point)

The one on the left is a possessed gray and on the right is the deity he is possessed by all art done by @zetsweirdtherapyblog THEY DID SO GOOD (look out there may or may not be a vore comic with possessed gray soon 👹)

[skullsnbruises]

Day 3: Sin

Noms are Weird AU? Yes, I’m thinking about it again ehehe

Sin cause vore is shameful in the AU (I struggled with this one)

Taglist: @poprockpanda @brick-a-doodle-do @local-squishmallow @dingbatnix

[nomsfaultau]

[woozvc]

call you tonight

part.II

previous/ masterlist / next

synopsis — choi seungcheol and y/n I/n are always fighting for the first spot in their class. what happens when they stand for student council president elections against each other?

pairing — scoups x gn!reader

genre/s — smau, high school au, non idol au, fluff, angst, a lot of banter

warnings — cursing, brief mentions of family issues, jealousy, competition

send an ask to be part of taglist!

a/n - jeonghan looks so good in that picture I will eat him nom

taglist 🔖—

@minhui896 @lirtha97 @cienlvrs @thefroggybazaar @mhlsymlysn @jeonghansshitester @wonwoos-wineparty @ener-energy @sp1ng @wonwootakemyheart

@ddokye @thepoopdokyeomtouched @zzenkha @nishloves @weird-bookworm @sana-is-ms-rmty @immabecreepin

@amxlia-stars @peachhiz @punkhazardlaw

[the-contraire-of-zugzwang]

Translating MBS.

I have been bitching about the french translation of mbs since i knew enough English to be able to read the original version. I'm in my fifth year of translation class and i think i now have the tools to make one myself that somewhat pays justice to the original books so here goes. I'm only attempting to translate the challenging difficult bits because it's what i find interesting and fun, so riddles, play on words, things like that. Most of the rest *cough RoA cough* has been done fairly well before and no one cares about my personnal preferred grammar and vocabulary usage so i think it wouldn't be interesting for anyone.

Every part i translate will have the excerpt, followed by my translation(s) and what it means in English when warranted and explanation about why i think it is an appealing solution :)

Games of Names

Ledroptha Curtain -> Fermel Ridau

There is no particular difficulty here, it keeps the pun with "let drop the curtain", phrasing it as "close the curtain." Little added detail i'm proud of that doesn't exist in the original version but French has its own subtleties: according to how you pronounce the second "e" in Fermel, the meaning differs. If you pronounce it /ə/, then it is "ferme le rideau" which is the familiar version for someone you're close with or you yourself, as in Curtain drops the curtain on the past, which fits well with the show canon. If you pronounce it /e/, it becomes "fermez le rideau" which is the plural and formal/polite version for either someone you don't know/are not close to or a group of people. So this works as in he doesn't let anyone get actually close to him: not only does he push everyone away, but he has no one close enough to him to use the familiar form on. NB: usually, you use the familiar form on children, but i have had teachers who use the polite version on their students, so I think it would make sense for Curtain to use the formal polite version on his students to make them feel valued and open more to him as part of a manipulation tactic.

Constance Contraire -> Constance Contrariori

Constance is a fairly common french first name, so i'm leaving it alone; children probably won't make the connection between the first name and the common noun, especially as it's not all that used, but i assume most english-speaking readers didn't jump to the French translation of the name when first reading the book. I changed Contraire to Contrariori, because of the cave scene in Perilous Journey. Thus, you can have Curtain use the phrase "a contrariori" instead of "au contraire", which spares a footnote and avoids him speaking in italics all of a sudden. It also gives him a slight pedantic vibe which fits his character, and makes Constance look smarter than she does in the published translation (seriously, au contraire is a very common phrase french speakers hear several times a week, her having never heard it before the cave scene is just silly and weird).

the Living Institute for the Very Enlightened

i stuck the two excerpts together because they're similar as far as translation difficulty is concerned, and i did the explanation in one paragraph :)

Un mot était imprimé sur la bannière, les lettres assez grandes pour être lues depuis le continent: TROT; clairement, l'acronyme du Théâtre de la Raison Objective et du Talent. << c'est déjà mieux que pas assez. >> Kate

Pendant ce temps là, M. Ridau avait commençé son discours de bienvenue: << dans les autres écoles, déclarait-il, on enseigne seulement aux élèves à avancer. De la lecture, des mathématiques, des cours de dessin et de musique... quel gâchis de temps pour les élèves! Ici, au Théâtre de la Raison Objective et du Talent, tonna M. Ridau en en écrivant le nom au tableau et en entourant les lettres capitales, on apprend à nos élèves à aller au T.R.O.T. !>> Un autre tonnerre d'aplaudissement suivit cela, mais Reynie réfléchissait toujours, Tout est à l'envers. Et, regardant les lettres encerclées au tableau, un frisson soudain et terrible lui parcourut le dos: TROT écrit à l'envers, est TORT.

I chose to translate LIFE in TROT, which literally stands for theater for objective thinking/mind and talent. I am not very happy with the words behind the acronym, but it's stil better than the published french translation (Very Original Boarding Shcool). I used "théâtre" not as "theater" but as its secondary meaning: a fancy word for a place where things happen. I think it stills works with the pedantism of the original meaning and it could be worse. The word "trot" comes from the phrase "au trot" when a horse goes faster than walking but doesn't run full force. When talking about humans, it's basically a jog that allows you to keep running at a moderate speed for a long time and go further compared to a sprint where you go full speed but don't get as far before having to stop. "trot" backwards is "tort", which means wrongdoings but can also mean being wrong. My translation of Kate's comment is more far-fetched, but I couldn't find anything else that worked for the acronym and reverse. The word "trop" is homophonic to "trot" but means "too (much)". Thus, I had Kate remark that, at least, it doesn't say 'not enough'. I think it is a tolerable equivalent as "it doesn't say die" -> "we're not gonna die" becomes "it doesn't say not enough" -> "we're capable enough to do this". There probably is a more graceful way of doing it, but I couldn't find one myself.

[maplesyrupandgt]

Gladiator AU

Giant!Childe + Tiny!Zhongli soft m/m vore story

Silly little Gladiator au ish I've kinda had bouncing around my brain for a while.

Warning for vore under the cut and very mild injury mentions (unrelated to noms)

I will be posting this to my ao3 in a couple days, but this isn't beta read at all so feel free to lmk if you see grammatical errors and stuff ^^

This contains soft romantic stuff at the very end so if you aren't here for ship, you can skip everything after the single dash "-"

5.8k words, complete

Childe stirs with a soft groan, lifting a hand to rub at his cheek. Weird texture. There’s a murmur of voices both surrounding and distant and he sighs as he stares up at the sky. Why is he outside? He definitely fell asleep in a bed last night. He lifts his hand above his face to block the sunlight, squinting at the unfamiliar fingerless glove and bracer he has on. More murmurs, like tiny surprised gasps echo around him and he looks toward the sound, turning his cheek to rest on dusty ground. This is all going to be in his hair-

Huh.. Childe squints a bit, observing the stadium stands. They look familiar, the architecture classically old, like those of the abyss. And they’re packed with people. All a little too far away to make out the details of their faces, but they’re all shifting and making noise. The weirdest thing about it is that he can't tell how far away they are. They seem incredibly distant from his perspective, yet his depth perception reveals just how close they are. Suddenly, a voice rings out, some kind of announcer.

“The Titan is awake!!!” It rings in his ears, echoing through the stadium and Childe’s brows pinch together. He shifts some, listening to the tiny oos and aas from the crowd. Are they responding to him? He sighs, beginning to sit up and listening to the gasps ripple through his audience. With eyes closed, he shakes his head, trying to get all the dust from his hair. “It moves with unprecedented speed!!” The announcer cries and he finally peeks his eyes open again, only to be met with open air.

“Huh..” He says it aloud this time, but his gaze is drawn down when he hears a tiny scream. Oh. And there are the stands, barely coming up to his shoulders now that he’s sitting up. Looking around reveals he’s in some kind of tiny colosseum. A perfectly detailed scale replica- audience included. The inclusion of the people makes Childe think about the first announcement regarding the titan and things start to click into place now.

He laughs in giddy surprise, looking back down over himself. The outfit he wears is familiar to him as that of some ghostly fighters he witnessed in the Abyss. He’s some kind of gladiator then. His vision still sits on his belt and he assumes that’s why he lacks a weapon now. “Who am I fighting?” He murmurs, half to himself as he looks around. He’s expecting another ‘titan’ or some monstrous beast. He scans the stands, then around the dusty floor of the arena.

“May the first challenger enter the ring!” There’s a clanking of a gate being lowered and Childe’s expression falls a bit when he sees it’s one of the tiny doors around the floor of the arena. He’s still seated, but he knows if he were to go stand next to that thing, the door might only come up to the top of his foot. His ankle at most. He leans back on his elbows again, shutting his eyes to relax. He isn't very worried about who his challenger is. But then a tiny familiar voice rises up to him.

“Master Childe?” His eyes flick open and he straightens up, gaze locking onto the one and only illustrious Mr. Zhongli. He’s just as small as the other audience members, yet Childe can see him clearly, decked in similar garb to Childe but with more gilding.

“Zhongli-xiansheng!” He laughs and then he gets the odd sensation of watching the tiny man flinch at the sound of his voice. It's fun to watch the swirling sands at his feet shift with the vibrations of his very speech. He reaches forward, intending to scoop up the tiny being, but Zhongli raises his polearm in a confident move, holding it up in a warning not to touch. “Don't be like that Mr. Zhongli.” He pouts, mindful to lower his volume just for the ‘consultant’.

“I do not wish to be handled. I fear you may underestimate your strength.” The small man replies, squinting against the harsh daylight as he looks around the colosseum. “I suspect they have pitted me against you?”

“You suspect right. Honestly, it's a little disappointing though,” He watches the brunette’s expression pinch, “I wanted more of a challenge.”

“You do not think I can pose a challenge for you?”

“...No offense Xiansheng, but you’re hardly as tall as my little finger.”

Zhongli’s frown deepens, and the little man stands up taller. “Do not forget so quickly that I have fought gods and monsters of great variety.” Childe wonders which of those two categories he falls into. “I will take up this challenge, if only so that they may release me.”

Childe tilts his head at that, but then the miniature version of his friend lifts his wrists up and Childe grows aware of a nearly imperceptible gold chain which binds them, leading back to the door Zhongli came from. In a blink, he can no longer see the chains. “Oh? Why don't I just break us both out of here?”

“I am afraid that would be a fruitless affair. One of us must win for our chains to be dissolved.” Childe looks down at his ankle, feeling a ghost of a weight on it now for a flash before it’s gone again.

“May the fight between the titan and the golden god commence!” The announcer cries and Zhongli lifts his polearm again, resuming his defensive stance. Childe sighs, wondering how quickly he can get this over with then. What is the best way to incapacitate someone so tiny without killing them? He doesn't exactly want to see old Rex dead. Would pinning him down count?

He registers Zhongli is moving toward him now and it's kind of adorable to watch. He doesn't cover ground very quickly, giving Childe plenty of time to review strategies in his mind. The Liyuen is just nearing his hip when Childe decides to make a move. He lifts his hand, summoning a small wave with a flick of his wrist. Zhongli does not pause, summoning a shield with a slash of his polearm that Childe’s hydro flows right around. The ginger frowns, recognizing Zhongli getting near to him. He sends more water, but that tiny shield holds strong. So maybe Zhongli does have some power to back up what he was saying.

Childe doubts the tiny man could manage to kill him so this whole fight is just an effort at incapacitation. The tiny audience is silent, clearly paying close attention to their ‘fight’, but Childe nearly forgets their existence. Zhongli’s near enough to come to a stop and he seems poised to throw that polearm of his.

The giant brings his hand down, slamming it into the ground. Zhongli, shook by the force of it stumbles, a look of surprise taking his expression and then it steels into something more determined. There’s shouts of surprise from the audience with the resulting earthquake and Childe leans his weight onto the hand, finally pushing himself up to a stand. Like this, he simply dwarfs the colosseum. It doesn't even come to his hips in height and all the tiny gasps and cries fade into nothing at this height. It feels like he could stretch up and touch the clouds.

Looking down reveals Zhongli, gazing up at him in some awe. Childe feels a little flutter in his gut and he grins down at the tiny man. He was right about the height; beside his foot, Zhongli doesn't reach his ankle in size. Probably six centimeters tall at most. The man backs away a few paces and Childe wonders how light he is right now. He can't weigh any more than a mora. Even a cicin would dwarf him.

Seeing him down there next to his sandal, Childe realizes that he could end the match very quickly. All it would take was a shift of his weight, a half step forward to take the victory for himself. But he doesn't really see the need to kill Zhongli. Just pinning the tiny man should be good. It would be like stepping on a bug, just light enough not to crush him. He can see the second Zhongli reinforces his shield, arms spreading out at his sides and a tiny breeze of geo shimmer washes over Childe from about his mid calf down. It tickles.

He starts taking the step forward, lifting his foot over Zhongli. The announcer’s voice returns narrating his moves, but he pays it no mind, starting to lower it down. Surprisingly, he doesn't see Zhongli attempting to run away. Instead, crackles of a dust storm gather around his shin and then out comes a meteor. It petrifies his leg from the knee down and Childe’s left with the eerie numbness.

“Woah-” He laughs brightly again, and now he can see Zhongli dashing out from under his sandal. He sets his foot down anyway, feeling how heavy it is. It takes a few seconds for the feeling to fade and by then Zhongli’s thrown his polearm. Pain spikes into his calf and Childe hisses softly, looking down to see the splinter of a weapon embedded in the skin. It doesn't feel that bad. Nothing more than a scratch, but now he looks at the small man, a frown in place. “Come on Xiangsheng. I was gonna go easy on you.”

“I will not back down,” Zhongli looks fierce, ponytail whipping when he moves. Childe bends down, pinching the polearm to tug out of his calf and then snapping it in half. It's easier than breaking a toothpick.

A hush falls over their audience as a growl rings through the air. Even Zhongli’s expression shifts, and he seems a bit unsure hearing it. Childe blushes at the sound himself, horrified at the timing of it.

But then he thinks about it. “...You know Xiansheng, I’ve just thought of a new way to win.” He notes softly, dropping down to his knees. His weight falls quickly enough to cause an earthquake on impact and he gets a small thrill as watches the very god of geo fall to the ground with the force of it. Zhongli is still pushing back up to a stand when Childe’s hand snaps out.

In a flash, he has grabbed Zhongli. And this time without any possible opportunity for interference. His audience gasps again and Childe is quick to lift Zhongli up to his eyeline. He holds him gripped in a fist, fingers concealing everything from the shoulders down. He can just feel the tiny squirming efforts against his fingertips, but there’s no way Zhongli could break the giant’s hold. Childe knows he hasn't had enough downtime to summon another meteor either.

“I yield.” The small man goes limp in Childe’s hold, apparently deciding some kind of polite draw is necessary here. Childe pauses at that, sighing softly.

“Really?” He looks around, waiting for the disembodied announcement about his victory.

“Truly. You have this win.”

“But that’s so boring.” Childe sighs and Zhongli is about to speak again in defense of his decision judging by his facial expression when the announcement finally comes.

“Victory goes to the Titan!!!” And the crowd bursts into cheers, but Childe is all too aware that the chain on his ankle still binds him. He frowns, uncurling his fingers and holding Zhongli flat on his palm.

“Are you free?” He ask softly, squinting at those tiny wrists. Zhongli is busy catching his breath, but eventually he lifts his arms, showing off the golden cuffs still imprisoning him.

“I don’t understand.” The Liyuen’s expression is tender with confusion and a bit of betrayal, “I was told a duel would be the way to freedom.”

“Titan, you must go to the empress with your victory!” The voice instructs before Childe can reply and he raises a brow, looking back to the stands for a moment when he is directly addressed.

To his surprise, he spots a small platform containing a small throne and seated on it is yet another familiar face. He stares for a few seconds before shuffling closer. He feels out of place for the first time here, knelt before this tiny little platform with Zhongli still held in his hand. He was right about how weightless the man is, barely heavier than a grape. All these tiny humans around him and they probably collectively weigh less than Childe at the moment.

Zhongli is rubbing his brow upon realizing who the ‘empress’ is.

“Zhongli~ That was so impressive!” Hu Tao claps delightedly, kicking her feet some. They don't reach the floor. “I didn't think you’d really be able to take on Titan Tartaglia!” She says the title like it's something renowned. Childe certainly has never heard it before and he somewhat hates the alliterative choice.

“Miss Hu, I thought I would get my freedom.” Zhongli’s tone has taken on a sincere weight, tired and used to the antics of his boss.

“Oh, but that was only guaranteed if you won! Mr Mountain here won, so now it’s up to our audience what happens. Or me~” She giggles, “The giant-”

“I have a name.”

“...ahem. The giant won the spar, but the fate of his prey will be decided by the empress and audience.” She speaks with confidence and Childe frowns deeply, watching Zhongli flinch at the word ‘prey.’

“And how do I get free?” Childe asks.

“Well you’ll have to fulfill the judgment of the audience of course! You gave them some pretty creative ideas for how you might deal with your opponent, so between you and me,” And she cups her hands around her mouth like she’s sharing a secret before speaking with just the same volume as before, if not more, “They’ll probably want you to finish him.”

“Excuse me?” Zhongli says at the same time as Childe mutters, “What!?”

He forgets his volume and though Hu Tao’s grin remains in place, the tiny woman lifts her hands to cover her ears.

“Sorry big guy, I don't make the rules.” Hu Tao shrugs, and Childe is sure that she, in fact, does make the rules.

Childe guesses he really was gonna go through with eating Zhongli if he hadn't chosen to yield, even if he hadn't said it before so he can’t blame her for such brutal rules in place. Maybe he would have halted once Zhongli was in his mouth. What would that have felt like?

His small opponent is now actively standing on his palm, walking to the edge of it to jump off onto the platform. Hu Tao seems amused by this, and before Zhongli can even get near her, guards rush out, gripping the tall adeptus by his shoulders and holding him still.

“What is the audience’s judgment?” He asks and Zhongli gives him a pleading look, as if begging him to take back the question.

“Oo, let's find out!” Hu Tao claps again and the crowd goes silent. It’s eerie how quiet things are. “What do the people want our victor to do?” She asks and the question is echoed by the announcer. It's quiet a few seconds longer before he hears a cry.

“Eat him!” It’s one voice, followed by another shout somewhere else of, “Show him mercy!” “Crush him!” Then the crowd's cries grow louder until it's a roar of opinions, some inventive and horrible. One particular chant of freedom emerges yet Hu Tao’s eyes seem to be growing wider, sparkling with amusement this whole time.

“Well,” She says softly, and the crowd falls quiet instantly, “I’m thinking we have a winner Mr. Titan.”

Childe bites his lip, wondering if he will have to debate any of her wording. It is the thing that will gain him his freedom and he has a deep feeling that things will work out just fine. Zhongli is fighting to tear out of the guards’ grip, but they hold him strong, marching him to the edge of the platform. Raising a brow at this, Childe looks back to Hu Tao.

The tiny undertaker sticks her hand out, then gives a thumbs up. Childe sighs in relief, starting to sit up, but Zhongli’s response is quite erratic. The tiny man lifts a shield and the two guards on him are forced away. Hu Tao clicks her tongue, waving Childe back down.

“Don't you know colosseum etiquette silly?” She asks, “Thumbs up is bad! It means you have to finish him~” She pumps her fists dramatically as she speaks and Childe immediately objects.

“But the people's vote ruled for his freedom?” And Zhongli is nodding adamantly. Up on this platform, he can't jump down without injuries it seems. Childe lifts his hand, aiming to help, but Zhongli twists to glare at it, lifting a newly summoned polearm up to wave at him. Childe had wondered why he hadn't objected, but he can now see the slim gold collar preventing him from being a part of this conversation.

“Ah, but the judgment is decided by the audience and the empress!” Hu Tao shakes her head like this is clear. “Zhongli’s fate is sealed, right in there!” And she points to Childe’s core, which decides to growl just then.

The man curls on himself, eyes wide. “So you made that decision all by yourself.” He glares at her, but she is fearless.

“Well, not really. At least a three eights of my people wanted it to go this way!” She shakes her head, “And my vote counts as a fourth of theirs.”

“You were the deciding vote Hu Tao.” He deadpans and she giggles again, waving to her guards to grab Zhongli again when the consultant’s shield fails.

“I guess I was. But you were planning to eat him anyway~ Isn't this just perfect? You get a snack and your freedom!” Childe wonders if the woman is crazy.

“If I crushed your precious audience, you’d have a lot more funerals to arrange,” He threatens or maybe just negoriates by her standards, and she tuts at him. He’s at least thirty times her size and she tuts at him!

“Nono. You wouldn't be allowed to do that. You can just take your prize and leave.” Childe groans, dropping his forehead down to rest on the platform. From here, he can hear Zhongli’s growls of frustration.

“You have to free him first.” He finally mutters, lifting his head again and bringing his palm up in front of the platform for Zhongli.

The Liyuen man turns to view him with wide eyes, and he seems tired again. Hu Tao hums as she thinks about it, then she looks up to meet Childe’s gaze.

“You pinky promise you’ll eat him?” She asks, holding out her tiny hand, pinky extended. Childe frowns at the words.

“I take a pinky promise very seriously Empress. You know me well.” He grumbles, but he reaches out and Childe knows if Zhongli had a tail right now, it would be lashing furiously. The snezhnayan ends up hooking his pinky over her whole forearm, but she shakes it up and down and when he’s pulled his hand away, he gets to watch the empress skip over to Zhongli. She reaches up to pinch his cheek before she reaches down to his neck. She slides her fingertips across it and in a poof of golden dust, the chain around his neck is gone.

“Hu Tao, this is unreasonable.” Zhongli begins immediately, angry at her antics. She ignores his words as she lowers her hands to his wrists. Two more small poofs and the chains are fully gone. Zhongli rubs his wrists, continuing his speech the whole time. “Our deal was that I should be freed if I fought him. You cannot ask him to eat me, that is signing my very death warrant. Have I not an amicable employee?” His words go on even as the guards walk him to the end of the platform and he’s only silenced with a soft grunt as Hu Tao quite bodily shoves him off the platform. He drops the couple feet down onto Childe’s palm, finding himself on his hands and knees and more than a little shaken.

Childe can feel the nearly imperceptible shivers wracking the man and he does feel a little bad. Maybe he can make it gentle for Zhongli. Even if the Liyuen did stab him.

“Eat up, big boy!” Hu Tao calls, settling back onto her throne and Childe cringes at that title. Her creative nicknames are particularly grating. He lifts his ‘prey’ up to his face, looking over him.

“Childe?” Zhongli’s tiny golden gaze is desperately imploring him to rethink this, but they both know it’s a sealed deal.

“Sorry Xiansheng… I made a pinky promise.” He shrugs, bringing his palm to rest the side against his lips. Zhongli’s shivering increases and Childe curls his fingers a bit before he pulls his hand away again. “How do you want me to do this?” He asks, hoping for the smaller’s preference. He doubts Zhongli wants him to do this in any way, but he knows the smaller is a constantly thoughtful man and will have processed some best idea.

Zhongli is quiet for a few long seconds, glancing between Childe’s lips and eyes. “Perhaps you merely need to hold me in your mouth. That is how you eat sweets, no? I am certainly about as bite sized to you as candy I’m sure.”

Childe wants to agree, but he’s sure Hu Tao wouldn't qualify that, “Those get swallowed eventually when they melt.” He replies, watching the little wilting reaction, “You don't eat gum, just chew it. And I doubt you want to be chewed.”

“That would certainly be a swifter way to finish me.” Zhongli sounds morose now and Childe pouts, lifting his free hand up. With a precise and gentle touch, he rubs the tiny god’s spine. He can feel just how the man leans into his touch and the inkling of guilt returns. At least the peanut gallery is silent for once.

“I won’t be chewing you Zhongli. But, I probably shouldn't take you in dry, so I’ll need to lick at you some.”

“I have decided I do not enjoy being your sweet-heart in this way.” Childe can't help but laugh in surprise at the pun. “Will you wake up soon, love?”

“What was that?”

“It's nothing.” And in fact it feels quite like that. Childe can't quite remember what was spoken after the pun.

“Hey, Dragonspine!” The little empress shouts and Childe glances back down, remembering her presence. “You made a pinky promise. Give the people what they want!”

There’s a nearly automated return of sound to the stadium, tiny cheers crying for his final move.

“Oh hush. I’m getting there,” He huffs.

“This isn't supposed to be a tragedy! It’s a drama! Give us action! Fear! Intimidation!” Hu Tao calls valiantly, and a roar of cheers comes back. Childe glances to Zhongli again and the man seems to have composed himself with some tiny deep breaths. “If you don't do well enough, you might have to stay longer.” Ugh.

“Any preference?” Childe asks one last time, and the adeptus shakes his head, closing tiny golden eyes and surrendering to his fate.

Well, if it's what the people want… Childe shifts, halting his petting and instead lightly pinching Zhongli’s sides. The man’s eyes flash open and he starts to protest but Childe lifts him off his palm, bringing him up above his face. He can feel the tiny racing pants, but this time, he ignores the small guilty voice in favor of leaning into his predatory side. Childe feels the very second the tiny man regrets his submission.

“Wait!” Zhongli objects suddenly, smacking tiny open palms against Childe’s fingertips. Things aren't moving at his pace at all anymore.

Childe smirks at him, listening to the roaring cheers as he brings the little squirming body up above his face. He tilts his head back, opening up his mouth and sticking his tongue out to catch the little form. He releases Zhongli, dropping the tiny man down.

Childe feels the miniscule hands slap against his lip before gravity wins, pulling the golden god inside his mouth. He levels his head, feeling the small weight distinctly on his tongue. Zhongli must be disoriented for a second, but Childe feels him turn and start to crawl along his tongue, fighting for a chance to get back outside. The titan is slow to close his mouth, letting Zhongli get as close to his teeth as he safely can before he clicks his teeth shut.

Soft cries of frustration make it out past his lips before he seals those shut too and he looks down to give a grin to the empress. She’s on the edge of her seat, clapping gleefully. At least, she’s enjoying the show.

Childe has never had a mouthful fight back like this, and it's kind of thrilling. He can feel Zhongli’s hands desperately applying pressure to his teeth and the little man’s fingers explore around Childe’s gums in the dark as he seeks a way out. Childe shifts his tongue, hearing the little yelp of shock in response. He can hear Zhongli’s voice quite clearly and he wonders if that’s normal for sounds produced inside the mouth. It's not as though he’s ever had something inside to know before.

“Childe, I implore you to rethink this!” He pleads and in response, the ginger shifts his tongue again, sliding it forward to pin the small body against his front teeth. He laps at him this way, letting his saliva pool some to soak Zhongli. The little Liyuen seems to be making an effort to struggle, but Childe barely notices. He creates gentle suction in his mouth, pulling the small body onto his tongue once more and pressing him up against the point where his palates meet. The feeling of Zhongli squirming there tickles and Childe scrunches his nose so that he doesn't sneeze. Zhongli tastes lightly of vanilla and silk flowers.

He can feel just how small the brunette is in this way. It shouldn't take more than one firm swallow to get him down. Childe tilts his head back again, easing his soaked prey back toward his throat.

“Ajax- Childe, please slow down!” Zhongli begs again and something stirs the guilty little voice again. Sighing slowly through his nose, Childe relaxes his tongue. He keeps his head tilted back and he can feel the wet little form sliding down the slope of the striated muscle. Zhongli is still out of breath, and Childe feels the odd sensation of fingertips digging into his taste buds to hold the morsel in place. He’s a bit impressed at Zhongli for managing that.

Everything is quiet for a few beats and nothing but the tiny heaving breaths really hold Childe’s attention. He can feel the smaller starting to calm so he flexes his tongue, relaxing his throat at the same time. Zhongli gasps as he loses his grip, sliding down the rest of the way. He’s so small that he starts slipping into Childe's throat right away. The wet flesh kneading at his tiny legs as the two centimeters of his body sink into the passageway. It will indeed only take one thick swallow and Childe inhales and exhales three shallow times before he wills himself to.

It's effortless. Zhongli doesn't cry out this time, and in fact he barely squirms as he's drawn down into the hot depths of Childe's core.

Childe feels the little weight drop into his stomach and he lifts a hand to press against it. It growls in response and he can feel the little form inside startle at the noise. He rubs lightly at Zhongli and though the touch is hesitant, he can feel the smaller push back at him.

There's raucous applause from his audience and Childe looks back to them now. The voice of the empress rises up again calling his name (finally) and Childe turns his gaze to face her.

“Happy?” He gives her a flat look when she beams at him, waving him down to her.

“Let me take a look,” She requests, “Gotta be sure there's no Mr. Zhongli hidden away in that cave!”

Childe rolls his eyes, but obediently opens his mouth up. He sticks his tongue out and lifts it at her command, turning his face slightly so she can inspect all angles and eventually mumbling, “You're welcome to go down and check. There's plenty of room.”

“Ah! An exciting offer Titan, but that will have to wait for another day.” He looks expectantly at her, waiting for the freedom he’s been guaranteed. She blinks up at him, wide eyed and nearly innocent- or forgetful maybe. “Oh right!” She claps her hands together. “Okay! Stand up and I’ll release you.”

He’s quick to obey this also, shuffling close as he safely can to the platform so she can reach out to wave her hands to make the chain evaporate. She waves away the large cloud of golden dust, looking high up to meet his gaze.

“So sad.” And suddenly the colosseum seems to be growing rapidly- Or he’s shrinking!? Hu Tao reaches out her hand, pulling Childe up onto the platform with her as he finally lands at his typical height. Panicked, he rests a hand against his gut, feeling the now, well, minuscule form still sprawled within him. “Well, you’re free now.” She sighs, shaking the hand she’s been holding.

“Wait, what do I do about Zhongli?” He asks, looking for a solution to this. Hu Tao, knowingly, gives no answer.

“I like the gladiator version of you. Very impressive.” She giggles again, picking at the white fabric layers of her own toga. “You’re always welcome back here! Maybe next time I’ll let you pick your prey from any of the champions you know~” She offers before pointing to a door behind her throne. Childe swears it hadn’t been there earlier.

“I- Thank you?” Childe feels disoriented but the guards start leading him out and he looks back just in time to see something very confusing. It’s himself on that titanic scale, still out there sleeping relaxed like he was before the match. Hu Tao turns toward him, lifting her finger to her lips and giving him a wink before she turns away to officiate once more.

Is that how big he had been? Damn.

He steps out through the door and he’s met with a wicked falling sensation.

–

Childe sits up with a gasp, blinking in the moonlit room.

“Baobei,” Zhongli’s voice calls softly to him from his side and Childe turns to face the man with wide eyes. “Come back to me, Ajax.” The man seems a bit ruffled himself, but his voice is honeyed with sleep.

Childe sighs, lifting a hand to rub at his cheek. He slowly lowers himself to lay again, scooting closer until he can lay in Zhongli’s hold.

“Mm… Had a really interesting dream.”

“I know.”

“Oh?”

“You pulled me into it quite swiftly, Ajax.” The old god chuckles softly and Childe’s cheeks warm at the realization.

“Oh celestia, I just ate you!”

“With relish.” The other man agrees, pressing a kiss to soft ginger curls. “I did not know you wished to devour me so.” His laughter is warm and Childe relaxes into his hold.

“So, you’re not mad?” He asks, closing his eyes.

“With you? Never.” Zhongli confirms, “Your imaginary Hu Tao, on the other hand, was quite a menace. I never wish to see her in a position of unrivaled power.” Childe can’t help but let out a soft laugh at that and then he gives a long sigh.

“Mm… Is that what it would really be like?” He receives a confused hum, “I mean swallowing you. I could taste you.

“Ah,” Zhongli’s hand shifts where it’s curled over Ajax, gently rubbing his stomach. It feels nice. “I cannot say for sure. I am sure that thanks to our bond, the sensations were indeed more realistic than they would otherwise have been, but I cannot guarantee that is the precise experience one could ever have outside of a dream.”

“That makes sense.” Childe nods, yawning softly. “Did you have to enter that dream though?” He asks, flustered again.

“Ajax, your thoughts bled into my own sleep, prayers that I would be in attendance. How could I resist a glimpse into your private fantasy when you asked so nicely?” The flush gets worse and Childe turns to bury his face in the pillow.

“Oh my god,” The younger man mumbles in embarrassment.

And he receives a very amused, “Yes, that’s right,” as Zhongli continues to pet his core. Childe reaches to pinch Zhongli’s arm in response. “What’s this?”

“That’s for stabbing me.” He turns back out of the pillow, looking over the way moonlight catches on a small glass figure on their bookshelf. A tiny warrior.

“I was quite sure you had already repaid that wound tenfold, Ajax.” Zhongli pulls Childe a little closer and he goes willingly into the hold.

“Maybe,” The ginger admits. “If you knew it was a dream, why were you so scared?” He’s unable to resist the question despite knowing this could be a conversation that will bleed over into the morning.

“Hm. You are quite the torrential force Baobei.” Zhongli’s answer is unexpectedly short.

“What do you mean?”

“Imagine I were thirty times your size and intended to consume you. That my actions from the start showed no mercy.”

“I think I would find that hot,” Zhongli doesn't seem at all surprised by this response.

“Now, imagine you knew I -as your titanic lover- wanted prey that would squirm.”

“You were acting!?” Childe shuffles to try and pull away, intending to roll over and face Zhongli to read his expression. The adeptus does not allow him such mobility, pulling him back close. Begrudgingly, he settles into the hold once more.

“Perhaps that is the case. But I will say, I was certainly leaning into the excitement of things.”

“But I felt guilty knowing it was you!”

“You did not act very guilty, Ajax.” The man behind him hums in amusement. “You may have the peace of knowing I would willingly do anything you asked of me.”

“What if I had killed you, Zhongli!?” The former ‘titan’ glares at the opposite wall, unable to direct the look back to his lover.

“Do you truly think something as mundane as one mortal’s digestive process could take me out?” Zhongli seems amused that he could think that and that gentle touch returns to rub Childe’s stomach. “Be at peace, Baobei.”

And he is. Zhongli somehow has a way of addressing every issue in the most avoidant and direct way possible. He’s soothed all Childe’s dream specific anxieties with patience and affection. “Alright, Xiansheng.” He sighs, yawning once more.

“Sleep. I will keep your dreams at bay,” Childe knows he will. The young man shuts his eyes, allowing his breaths to fall into pattern with his partner.

“Good night Zhongli.” Another kiss is pressed to his hair.

“Goodnight Ajax.”

[boiled-ginger-ale]

the smallidarity dynamic is so perfect for every kind of relationship.

best friends? check

in love? check

frenemies? check

arch nemesis? check

pred/prey? check

g/t? check

they can do all of it

and empires 2 jimmy and joel are so perfect for pred/prey stuff

like, perfect for non-AU noms, and crazy potential for AU noms

non-AU Joel teasing Jimmy by swallowing him down

and then an AU where Jimmy gets like sacrificed to God Joel and eaten

but also a non-AU where Jimmy figures out Joel wants to eat him and starts teasing Joel about it subtly to convince him to actually do it and Joel is all flustered

and even empires 1!!! because jimmy was actually big, not crazy giant like lizzie, but joel was just human sized so in empires 1 jimmy could nom joel

and life series, like, what if to get Jimmy to the end in Wild Life, Joel eats him during the finally, so even if technically Joel was the only survivor since Jimmy only registered as 'food in a player's stomach' once he won Jimmy was still with him and could be considered having won as well so when Joel rides off into space in his cool car with the past victors he lets a very tiny Jimmy out and all the victors celebrate or something or maybe take turns nomming Jimmy

Human!Jimmy finding tiny Fairy!Joel and holding him gently cupped in his hands

Human!Joel finding Canary!Jimmy who is actually canary sized, or maybe a Hummingbird!Jimmy and keeping him in his shirt pocket

their just so cute in g/t scenarios I'm gonna die - Lilmia

Frothing at the mouth at all of these ideas they are gorgeoussssss I can only imagine the shenanigans they’d be up to on any server

Oh the panic if Jim was sacrificed to Joel and this giant monstrosity of a god plucks him out of his bindings, glances him over with such indecipherable emotion and then proceeds to fucking eat him. Pure terror. Maybe Joel feels guilty for scaring the human cuz he doesn’t really take sacrifices like that but at the same time he could only imagine what the guys sacrificing him might do if he refuses, and I mean, he is hungry after all…

Also neither of them have any chill at all. Bored? Tum time. Tiny friend doing something needlessly dangerous and you’re done with their shit? Eat. Big guy you hang out with actin a little out of it and you’re worried about them? Nothin cures the soul like some snuggles from the inside (improved tenfold if the pred can purr)

Big fish Jimmy would be such a reluctant pred I swear. Joel would probably threaten to rip his insides out if he ever tried, but oh nooooo there’s this plot thing that makes it be the only option availableeeee yeah Jim is getting a squirmy new guest for the time being. And no inside damage because Joel has at least some decency to not want to hurt his best bud, even if he’s weird and this is gross and he hates it so much Jim let him out or he swears he’s gonna—

I have very many feelings about these idiots I love making them suffer so much <3