#I don’t really plan to explore that whole deal much but like weird real weird for the dream to add

[nomsfaultau]

in the vampire au based on my nightmare, I get the vibe that Philza like. Treats the Jawless One really normally in a way that’s unnerving. Like it’ll roar in a spray of viscera and spittle and Philza will just be like “hmm you’re right, but if it does rain we can cancel brunch.” Or sit down at the dinner table sipping at his blood while the Jawless One rips apart a cow carcass and half the table in a frenzy, while Tommy clings to the chandelier for safety. Philza dabs a napkin at what’s left of its face, cooing over it. And it’s reaaally unclear if the Jawless One is a cognizant person somewhere beneath the centuries of overwhelming vamperic bloodlust, or if that’s fully a monster and Philza is genuinely delusional.

[gothmiqote]

dt spoilers kinda, varha/estinien stuff ofc ofc but it's msq plot related naturally :p

estinien being only Sort Of around for this expansion kills me lmao like he on the periphery and whatever it is he’s doing intersects with varha when it counts (fighting the cyberpunk army in the desert etc etc) he’s also just like. ostensibly doing who knows what the fuck between appearances?

after the events of ew those two were definitely around each other a Lot (seeing her friends disappear one by one like that will apparently lead to some nasty separation anxiety, who would have guessed) & getting on the separate boats to go west is probably the first meaningful amount of time they’ve been apart since. to a degree she’s like it’s fine I’ve got this handled, although I don’t uh. Think he told anyone Where he was going? so she probably knew he was going to be away for a bit but not how long exactly or even really where (which she actually is cool with for real, they’re both kinda Like That TM so it’s normal). So yes, she’s very much starting to feel the yearning & the pining & what have you by the time they randomly cross paths in the throne room again.

But thEN he just. Walks out? Just says some complimentary words and fucking Leaves? I like to think he’d end up stopping by her inn room or whatever later on but based on how he was for the entire expansion I don’t even know if he would actually stay the whole night 💀 which is frustrating for her but at this point nothing super weird. Or so she thinks anyway because some point after Krile pulls her aside and is like Hey is everyone cool? Like are you good? Because Varha considers her one of her closest friends & she likes to torment Estinien psychologically for sport she knows them pretty well. To which Varha is just ?? Of course we’re good why wouldn’t we be good? But it makes her think anyway. It does Not help that Wuk Lamat flat out asks if she knows who he is personally, because the greeting she got was apparently the kind you’d reserve for acquaintances.

By the time she’s on the mini road trip with Erenville she’s trying Very hard to not think about her relationship because she’s keenly aware of how good she is at making herself quietly spiral & twelve help her, they see him and he does it again. Says some weird shit to her and fucks off into the sunset. Shout out to Erenville for not commenting on the weird vibes that were absolutely happening here. & it’s at this point she’s also starting to get kind of upset for real? Tries to back track mentally between the moments of dealing with an active crisis and no, she doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong, he didn’t seem to like her any less when he left—but that doesn’t mean things don’t change, & for all she knows maybe he’s just decided that she’s become more trouble than it’s worth to know her intimately like that (she wouldn’t blame him, she’s aware of her baggage). What kind of send off is ‘go do what it is you do’? No ‘good luck, stay safe’ or anything even remotely close? She needs to be focused on current events so she makes herself tunnel visioned but it’s still on her mind.

Meanwhile this man decided after getting paid for keeping Wuk Lamat’s dad entertained he wanted to plan a little romantic wilderness excursion in Tural. It’s literally the exact opposite scenario she’s been dreading and picking up on, they both like ‘camping’ (for lack of a better term) & this is a new area to explore, he thinks it’s a great idea. And it is! A similar trip was the catalyst for the getting together in the Steppe, albeit that one was unplanned & nothing was official until after she got back from the first, but still. Unfortunately he’s just so singularly focused on this plan (he’s looking for some decent locations when they run into each other outside of the city) he’s legitimately unaware of how he’s coming off in the present. In his mind he’s just in a good mood, & will at some point let her know what he’s been quietly putting together for them. He just wants some sort of concrete plan in place before he stops being cagey. Like he’s just in a good headspace in a relationship he’s actually very happy in & that’s manifesting in ways that make sense for Him once you know what to look for. It’s like being around your crush, except you’ve been serious about each other for the better part of the last few years now & also you never really learned how to flirt ‘normally’ (I feel like Aymeric probably tried to help with this at some point in the distant past & eventually just gave up to let his weird friend be weird. Sometimes that’s as good as it gets) because you’ve never been much of an extrovert or particularly socially gifted, so it usually comes across either insanely awkward and/or painfully earnest when you do give it a shot. All that to say, he’s doing his best, it’s just filtered through his methods every single time.

And to be fair to him also, she’s competent as hell. He had zero reasons to think she’d need any more help with the contest stuff, his presence would 100% just be overkill. He’s not saying this because he feels like it’s objectively obvious. Unfortunately it is Not, she is fully not getting this impression from any of his actions & ultimately just ends up stewing quietly over it. Initially she’s annoyed but over time gets progressively more sad lmao. If you click on him before one of the few trials you can run with npcs he’s like “I saw a big lizard, I’m going to hunt it later” which is so very baffling to her. AGAIN no real commentary on her actual situation or that she might not come back through that portal. Run the lizard through a translator and he actually meant something to the effect of I know you’ll take care of this, so I’m not worried, & as soon as you do come back we’re going to grill that lizard meat for dinner. In HIS mind this is what’s coming out of his mouth in fewer words. She’s just tired lmfao.

Once everything is taken care of & there’s some downtime she’s finally able to pull him to the side and ask what his deal has been lately, has she done something without knowing, has she been pulling away unconsciously etc etc etc. His turn to be confused now. This legitimately only becomes a miscommunication issue because every single conversation got cut short until this one, which of course gives him ample time to explain what’s actually been happening & also no, he’s definitely not bored or unhappy or anything like that, he’s been enjoying the opportunity to try and orchestrate something nice for her (even if the execution wasn’t. The greatest) and honestly didn’t realize how it looked from the outside. He was very much talking her up at any given opportunity each time someone asked about her, to the point where it was inevitably deduced that his descriptions of the Warrior of Light were apparently a good deal more personal than other accounts. She’s effectively been on his mind in some capacity since he got here.

& She feels extra dumb for getting upset at all, because that’s actually incredibly sweet and it makes perfect sense when you lay it all out that way, in hindsight she didn’t need to get worked up and just feels weirdly guilty now. Varha has been in a small handful of situationships, she’s never actually been important enough to anyone for them to go out of their way for her like that (she’s never even really had friends up until recently, it’s all uncharted territory), she does not know how to properly interpret it when people just decide to do things for her because they like her. She reacts like an asshole (in her own opinion, literally no one else thought that she was anything aside from maybe a bit Off since she internalized everything so much). This does not make her feel particularly good either, she has unfortunately looped back around to kicking herself for missing the obvious.

& Estinien, being himself, is still not the best with words when it comes to this sort of thing. Because he knows he didn’t actually do anything wrong here, so he’s not experiencing misplaced guilt, but she’s clearly still upset on some level for misreading things and he doesn’t like that for her, especially when this conversation is almost definitely taking place on the sidelines of a post-battle celebration back in the city. He’s not coming up with anything directly helpful to the situation. He’s task-oriented, hardwired to look for solutions. The one he comes up with on the spot here is:

“Do you want to hunt the lizard together?”

Long pause. Yes, she does. She wants to hunt the big lizard together very much. It sounds like a good way to kick off a small wilderness excursion together. The big lizard does not fix her pre-existing self worth problems, but it’s definitely effective for the immediate situation (which is about the best he can hope for right now). Problem solved-ish, she seems happier & now they can bond over the big lizard hunt together. He’d honestly just be pleased to spend time together doing whatever but this is probably the best outcome of that whole situation. (Also he Does end up kissing her right there, partly to get people to stop pestering her with questions but mostly because he wants to.)

[decks-writing-blog]

Here to Stay Drabbles: Managed Just Fine

Summary: Gordon explores Benrey's extra arm idea some more.

[A/N] This is a sequel to chapter 2. I'd intended to do it much earlier but got caught up in other requests and ideas and then kinda forgot about it until seeing Wraith from Deadlock. She's got basically the same extra prosthetic arm coming out of her shoulder setup as my idea for Gordon's extra arm here except she's got two of them and it seems to be just because she can.

~

Benrey’s idea on what to do about Gordon’s gunhand problem was a bit odd and thus what was left of the cybernetics department at Black Mesa weren’t ready to jump on board right away. They had valid points about how it would be much quicker and easier on their workload to just cut off the gunhand and replace it with a normal robot hand; Gordon would just have to suck it up and deal with the trauma of losing his hand again. More than that though, they were right about how having a mechanical arm branching off his real arm would look weird and draw more attention than even just leaving the situation as it was.

Drawing attention would be bad. Both on a personal level of not wanting to stand out and because everyone at Black Mesa was trying to lie low to avoid media attention. If anything about what had happened got out, they were in big trouble. They couldn’t afford big trouble right now or anytime soon.

But damn it, hadn’t Gordon been through enough already? Once on the other side of it, it probably wouldn’t be so bad but it was a long way to that other side. They didn’t know about Benrey – and he wanted to keep it that way – and thus didn’t know he had a resource that could help him heal the wound quickly so they’d want to wait for it to heal before installing the new robot hand. So he’d have to spend several months of his life without a hand. Technically not so different from what he had now but he’d had the gunhand long enough that combined with however the potion had made it grow, it felt like his hand. His brain was so thoroughly convinced it was his real hand he didn’t even get phantom pains in it. How afraid he was of losing it was still utterly irrational but so what? Nothing he’d gone through during the fallout of the Resonance Cascade had been rational either so he was allowed some irrational feelings in response to its lasting effects.

“I’ll just keep the gunhand as it is then,” was what he ultimately settled on. “I’ve managed just fine with it for several months now anyway.” ‘Just fine’ was a bit of a stretch but he was managing especially with Benrey’s help. “So it’s not a big deal anyway.”

“What if you made it detachable?” Tommy suggested.

“Huh?” Gordon had brought this decision to him and Dr. Coomer as a way of saying he’d canceled his plans for getting a robot hand, not expecting suggestions. Or if they were to suggest anything, it’d be more of the ‘it’ll be fine once it’s all done, just deal with it for a bit’ bullshit.

“If you’re managing mostly fine and don’t want to draw attention to it or whatever, make it so you can take it off and put it on only when you really need two hands for something. Most uh… most prosthetics are detachable anyway, right? Even the fancy robot ones.”

“Mine are,” Dr. Coomer said. “The limb ones are anyway. They’re locked in good but they can be taken off if I ever need to replace them. You could have yours easier to remove. Which would make it more fragile but you’ve already declined joining the new Black Mesa boxing team anyway so I doubt that will be much of an issue. It could attach at your shoulder too to make hiding it’s attachment point easier when you’re not using it. Perhaps you could get one on your other side too so you’d have four whole arms and three hands.

“Or you could do like Doc Oct from Spiderman and give yourself a bunch of cool tentacle arms coming off your back. That’s what I would do if uh… if I ever lost an arm and wanted to replace it.”

“First, I don’t want robot tentacles, thank you. Second, did he lose a hand or arm or something? Is that why he made the robot tentacles?” Gordon didn’t keep up with comics much. He hadn’t thought Tommy did either but he was into more nerd stuff so it wasn’t too surprising.

“No. He made them so he could handle dangerous stuff without getting too close. But it’s cool and uh, would solve your problem. Mr. Coomer’s idea of just a normal detachable robot arm would work too though. So… you could do that one instead. Either way when you go to the uh, cybernetics people again, phrase it as like an experiment. They like doing experiments. Extra robot arms isn’t something we’ve worked with much yet. So there’s got to be lots to learn from it, right? Like um, how the brain would handle extra limbs or whatever.”

“And we could sell it if it’s a success,” Dr. Coomer added. “Also, also, you’re second in command so you shouldn’t have let them say ‘no’ to you in the first place.”

“That’s not how my new position works.” Even Breen could only boss the teams around so much. Gordon probably could’ve gotten away with pushing this point but didn’t want to abuse his authority. And it being a sensitive topic involving his personal trauma made it something he’d rather not talk about much, let alone fight over. “The other stuff though, it’s… interesting.”

Being able to take it off and thus hide the abnormally high-tech prosthetic would avoid the problem of drawing too much attention to himself and the company. And phrasing it as an experiment instead of something that was replacing their agreed upon plans to cut his hand off and attach a basic cybernetic implant, should make it more palatable to the team. The fact that it was indeed an experiment made the idea a bit less appealing for Gordon but it was still far better than getting his hand cut off again. “I’ll talk to them about it then.”

~

Naturally it still required surgery to get the attachment for the extra robot arm to be put in – they were only doing one to start with but the team wanted to do more now that the idea had been reframed. A scary prospect. What if they decide to cut off his hand? All their design changes had been lies so they could put him under.

“I won’t let them,” Dr. Coomer promised. “I’ll be just outside the whole time, peeking through the window, watching. They know better than to cross me.”

“Thanks.” That was actually a huge comfort. Even better would be if Dr. Coomer was allowed in the room entirely but would be asking too much.

~

For the first couple weeks, getting the robot arm to do anything felt impossible. Gordon was about getting ready to call it quits on the idea when something finally clicked. It was like when he finally figured out how to supercharge his gunhand. One moment he couldn’t grasp how he was supposed to ‘press all the buttons’, the next he was just doing it.

The analogy of pressing buttons didn’t hold as strong with the robot arm. It was designed to feel as much like moving a normal arm as possible but it was thinking about it the same way that helped get past whatever block his brain had about it.

His movements with it were slow and jerky, not at all smooth or natural. It was a whole new arm though of course it would take time and effort to get used to controlling it. Given enough time and practice with it, his hand problem wouldn’t be entirely solved – they didn’t have the means to make it as advanced as they could’ve before the Resonance Cascade and thus it would still have limitations even after he got good at using it – but it would help. He wouldn’t have to rely on Benrey as much. Though, if Benrey wanted to keep doing his hair for him, Gordon would gladly let him.

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

#1, 4, 5, and 24 for the writing ask game!

the last sentence you wrote

Ghostbur smiles, keeping one hand over the girl and one hand over the boy, grateful that they’re small enough to both fit on his lap; they’re much too cold, and they need to get warmed up.

For context, this is a modern AU where he works at an animal sanctuary! In this bit he’s taking care of two baby sheep :)

a story idea you haven’t written yet

So many!!! One of the more recent ones is a Wingfeather Saga fic :0

It takes place post-canon, so after the fourth book, and it really just… I guess explores Artham & Arundelle’s relationship! It’s heavily heavily heavily inspired by Turning Out Pt.iii by AJR (the song does contain swearing and one slightly inappropriate lyric, just so you know!).

It’s gonna be a very long one-shot. More serious vibes, with lots of emotion. It’s from Artham’s POV, and he’s dealing with… a lot of things. He loves Arundelle very dearly and they’re planning to marry super soon, but he’s also really struggling with thoughts about how worthy he is to be her husband; is he worthy to be her husband? He doesn’t feel worthy. He feels like he’s not good enough for her, that she deserves someone better, someone less broken.

So the story follows that plot line :) I’m very excited for it!! Haven’t gotten around to writing down a single word for it though.

first sentence of the fifth paragraph of an unpublished WIP

For three, the doctors always do all these weird things that don’t make any sense, like sending a hammer down on your knee, or sticking a hammer-looking thing into your ear, or pushing a white stick all the way to the back of your throat until you feel like throwing up.

I’m gonna cheat a little bit and share some more of this WIP, because it makes me quite happy and I really enjoy the story I came up with :)

Doctor visits are bad.

They’re always bad; there’s just not anything good about doctors, or doctor visits. Tommy reckons that if he ever met a doctor on the street, he’d punch their stomach and make them breathe all funny, and then he’d steal their eyes.

For one, the place is cold—always, without fail. Cold. The waiting room, the hallways, the examination room or whatever it’s called. It’s all just cold. Even the doctor’s hands are cold. Tommy hates the cold.

For two, the whole thing is a real big invasion of privacy. There are certain things that Tommy would rather not have anybody look at, least of all complete strangers with cold hands.

For three, the doctors always do all these weird things that don’t make any sense, like sending a hammer down on your knee, or sticking a hammer-looking thing into your ear, or pushing a white stick all the way to the back of your throat until you feel like throwing up. It’s all just weird. Tommy can’t make any sense of any of it.

And those are just some of the reasons; there’s a whole lot more, but Tommy doesn’t really want to go through all of them, because that’ll just make him angry, and he doesn’t like to be angry.

But in short: doctors are bad, doctor visits are bad, and Tommy really despises the whole lot of it.

But as much as he hates doctor visits, he knows that Ghostbur hates them more. Ghostbur’s always hated them more.

how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

This is a bit of an ironic question, because I’ve actually been in writers block for several weeks now 😅

What I usually do is not force myself to write. I’ve noticed that whenever I’ve done that in the past—made myself write even if I felt uninspired and generally Bleh—then I ended up really disliking whatever I wrote, and I wouldn’t want to return to it. That’s unfortunately happened with several of my fics before :(

So yes, I basically take a little break from writing until the inspiration comes back! In the meantime, I spend time doing other things, like reading, playing ukulele/guitar, watching Dream SMP, going really crazy over a show, so on and so forth.

Typically, after a little bit of a writing break, I snap out of the creative slump and am able to go back to writing :)

[gunterfan1992]

Episode Review: ‘Together Again’ (Distant Lands, Ep. 3)

Airdate: May 20, 2021

Story by: Jack Pendarvis, Kate Tsang, Hanna K. Nyström, Christina Catucci, Jesse Moynihan, Adam Muto

Storyboarded by: Hanna K. Nyström, Anna Syvertsson, Iggy Craig, Maya Petersen, Serena Wu

Directed by: Miki Brewster (supervising), Sandra Lee (art)

Across Adventure Time’s ten season run, the show explored a bevy of “mature” themes and story ideas—topics, like love, sexuality, depression, and grieving. The show also touched upon death, but the emphasis was usually placed on the emotional toll of a loved one dying, not really what happens when you die. We knew there were Dead Worlds and Death. We knew that there was reincarnation. But how does it all fit together? What does it mean? How does it work?

With “Together Again,” we finally have many of the answers.

This special opens with a marvelous fake-out episode simply called “Finn & Jake,” that sees the two steal a magical cartoon of 50-flavor ice cream before rescuing Turtle Princess and LSP from the clutches of the villainous Ice King. This is all deliberately anachronistic and over the top. Ice King is back to his season one ways, Finn has both arms, and he is still wielding his golden sword that he lost in season two’s “The Real You.” There’s lolrandom dialogue and silly monsters; it’s like a parody of seasons 1-2. But then, this adventure starts to get all wonky, and in time Finn realizes that he is in a some sort of trance or illusion: one that ends with Jake being buried in the ground. Suddenly, Finn awakens from his reverie. He’s an old man. And he’s dead. We’re then presented with a new title card that lets us know the episode is actually called “Finn & Jake Are Dead.”

Holy Glob! They actually went there.

Turns out Jake died years before Finn, so naturally Finn is super excited to see his best bud. But something’s wrong—he cannot find Jake!! They planned to spend eternity together. But all that Finn can find is his very own psychopomp, Mr. Fox (voiced by Tom Herpich, whose purposefully stilted line readings are the epitome of delightful). Finn rightfully assumes that Jake is in a different Dead World, and so, being the ball of spunk and energy that he is, he demands to meet with Death, only to discover that there’s a New Death in town (voiced by Chris Fleming). The episode eventually explains that New Death was the son of Death and Life, and after New Death killed his father, he became the sovereign of the afterlife. New Death hates his job and decides to just blow up all the Dead Worlds so he doesn’t have to deal with it all. (I won’t get too much into the details here, because there would be a lot of story to parse out.)

Finn soon learns that Jake has reached nirvana in the 50th Dead World, where there is nothing but peace and serenity. Finn nevertheless tracks down Jake, pulls him from paradise, but in doing so, accidentally lets New Death in, who promptly obliterates Elysium, sending all the enlightened souls—including those from different levels of the afterlife—to the 1st Dead World. This gronks up the afterlife, temporarily halting the reincarnation process.

Well, Finn and Jake are rightfully ticked, and so they haunt the material plane looking for Princess Bubblegum. She’s not home (more on that later), but Peppermint Butler is! After Ghost Finn and Ghost Jake explain the situation, Peppermint Butler tells them what to do: They need to find Life and explain the situation. The duo manage just that, and Life is rightfully angry that her kid has stopped the transmigration of souls. After Life gives Finn a McGuffin sword that can hurt Death, Finn and Jake return to his abode. A brawl ensues wherein we learn that New Death has been possessed… by none other than that spirit of the Lich.

That’s right, it’s the Lich! He’s back, and boy is he evil.

The Lich explains that by possessing Death, he can destroy the afterlife, thereby destroying a key aspect of reality. Naturally, Finn and Jake are not cool with this, and they engage in combat. After Mr. Fox grabs the McGuffin sword and uses it to annihilate the Lich and New Death, he is proclaimed the New New Death and sets everything right. Finn is slated to be reincarnated, and Jake is slated to return to the 50th Dead World where he and Finn will one day be reunited. As Finn is pulled into the wheel of souls, Jake suddenly decides to go back with Finn, too, “Just for fun.” The episode ends with a card letting us know that the episode is neither called “Finn & Jake” nor “Finn & Jake Are Dead.” Instead, it is “Finn and Jake Are Together Again.”

As they say, “And there wasn’t a dry eye in the place.”

If you were to tell me several years ago that the last episode to star Finn and Jake would revolve around them dying, I think I would’ve been upset. Not simply sad, but rather frustrated because “they all died” can feel like a cheap ending. But with “Together Again,” it all works. And a large reason that it works is because the show goes all in with their ideas. Finn and Jake don’t magically leap back into their old life (no, no, they very much do bite the dust). Instead, the special emphasizes the cyclical nature of life through the transmigration of souls. The episode ends with a beautiful scene of Finn and Jake, bound together as soul-brothers, being reborn into a new, mysterious (possibly Ooo 1000+?) world. It’s both aesthetically and emotionally pleasing; it doesn’t feel off the way over finales might. This is right. This is the way life works. “Round and round as nature goes,” and all that jazz.

I loved the series explanation of how death works. It seems that souls land in a specific Dead World, where they ‘marinate’ for a bit, presumably being rewarded or punished based on their life in our meat reality. After a time, they are then reborn. This process repeats, with each soul reaching higher and higher levels of enlightenment until they hit nirvana, which is the 50th Dead World. So in a sense, Adventure Time has a roughly Buddhist cosmology with a dash of Greco-Roman mythos thrown in for flavor. (As to what happens after a soul stays in the 50th Dead World for a long period is anyone’s guess, but I’d speculate that when all the souls in the multiverse have been purified and land in the 50th Dead World, they will all collapse into one another and form one perfect Monad. Perhaps this is the sphere of perfection that the beings who merged into Matthew thought they were connecting to? Who knows! It’s anyone’s guess!) I was a little disappointed that we didn’t get to see who Death, Prismo, Life, etc.’s boss was, but perhaps that’s a mystery better left up to the imagination!

One minor thing that I loved about this special was the number of characters who made cameos as well as all the callbacks that were made to previous episodes. Regarding the former: Finn and Jake’s canine family show up (including the oft-forgotten Jermaine!), as do Tree Trunks and her myriad husbands. Tiffany plays a major role in all these shenanigans as a “death cop” of all things. There is a delightful rogues gallery stuck in the 1st Dead World (including, among others, Maja, Sharon from “The Gut Grinder,” and Wyatt). In the 50th we find Ghost Princess and Clarence happily at peace next to Booshy, the weird spirit mentioned in the Pen Ward classic “High Strangeness.” As far as callbacks go, perhaps my favorite is the clap (from “James Baxter the Horse”) that Jake taught to Finn in case they ever do get separated in the afterlife. And of course, there are myriad references made to “Death in Bloom,” the episode that planted the seed for what this would grow into.

Going into the special suspecting that it would involve Death, I was curious how they were going to handle Miguel Ferrer’s character. (In case a reader is not aware, Ferrer played Death in episodes like “Death in Bloom” and “Betty,” but he sadly passed away a few years ago). The producers’ choice to feature him in a non-speaking cameo—despite playing a relatively significant role in the story—was wise; I’m not sure if I can articulate the exact reasons, but something about his role felt appropriate and not gross, as some post-mortem memorials can be. Speaking of which, the wonderful, lovely Polly Lou Livingston was featured for the last time in this episode as Tree Trunks, happily in heaven with her literal harem of husbands. It was funny, it really was, and I’m sure that Polly Lou would’ve gotten a kick out of seeing it on screen. (Also, this is a pro-Tree Trunks safe space. Any Tree Trunks haters will be chucked into the 1st Dead World with Wyatt.)

The biggest mystery in this whole thing, for me at least, is the question of Princess Bubblegum and Marceline. Several years ago, I wrote an essay about what could’ve happened to them in the Ooo 1000+ universe. I speculated that they peaced out and left Ooo behind. In this special, neither Bubblegum nor Marceline are to be found in the Candy Kingdom—Peppermint Butler seems to be the one in charge, given that he is now wearing Bubblegum’s crown. Likewise, the duo aren’t anywhere in the Dead Worlds either. Maybe the two of them skipped town and got a duplex in the Nightosphere? Who knows… I just want my favorite gals to be OK!

All things considered, “Together Again” was a marvel: An episode that managed to feel like a series finale even more than “Come Along with Me” already did without taking away from the series itself. An episode that managed to make the idea of dying funny. An episode that brought back the Lich in a way that wasn’t forced. An episode that made Mr. Fox the New New Death. An episode that gave us a beautiful ending to Finn and Jake’s story… as well as the beautiful beginning to a new one. I said it on Twitter, and I’ll say it again here: “Together Again” was the end of a sentence in a book with infinite pages. Truly, the fun will never end.

Mushroom War evidence: Everything takes place in the Dead Worlds, so not really. Perhaps a more eagle-eyed viewer can inform us...

Final Grade: That’s right, I’m gonna do it...

Post-script, I actually messaged Jesse Moynihan to ask about his writing credit. He told me that it was for an unused story idea that he had developed. I’m not certain, but I’ll bet it was a part of the cancelled TV movie they were trying to make during season 5, since that would’ve seen Finn and Orgalorg journey to the various Dead Worlds.

[feelingmarvelous13]

crestfallen | bucky barnes

summary: night brings a lot of things to a lot of different people. to you, it brings the guilt of Bucky Barnes pain.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

warnings: swearing, anxiety

word count: around 1k

a/n: hi! this is me trying to write! it's my first time writing bucky and exploring fictional characters seriously. thank you so much @bucky-at-bedtime for your help with this. it was so insane to have you as my go-to person. you're such an inspiration! i have no idea how far this will go but thanks to everyone who's reading this. let me know what you think!

✮ ✮

You don’t know how long you sat on the couch before Bucky came looking for you. Perhaps an hour, perhaps half an eternity. Did it matter? The thing you knew for sure was that the thoughts that currently inhabited your mind could keep you awake for as long as you lived.

What a pleasant prospect.

Bucky noticed immediately that something was wrong. He saw it in the way you were clutching your knees to your chest, in the way you stared onto the living room carpet that you had persuaded him would look gorgeous in here because the pattern reminded you of your favorite sweater. He felt it in the way his heart ached as he had to endure the sight of you – undeniably lost.

He just stood there for a moment, at the edge of the couch. Bucky was afraid of what was happening – emotions, real, human emotions were still something he was re-learning. What if you suddenly changed your mind about him? What if he did something wrong but had been too self-involved to notice? Or worse…what if he couldn’t help you with what you were dealing with?

“y/n, what –,” he had to clear his throat, “what is it, doll?”

You closed your eyes, as if you were in pain. Bucky’s heart sank. What the fuck was happening? It was the middle of the night, nearly three in the morning and here you sat – the one person who made him feel whole seeming so… empty.

You didn’t know what Bucky was feeling right now. The freezing pain inside your chest was making you dizzy. You forced yourself to look up nevertheless. And there they were – his soft blue eyes … which, you’d imagined all night, had seen so much tragedy and heartlessness, so many things you wish you could’ve spared him.

“I don’t know…I just –,” you seemed to choke on your own words but you were not strong enough to hold them back any longer, “I want to take it away from you, you…you know? Everything, everything they did to you. I don’t want you to go back to a war that was long ago in your dreams just to wake up and … and find yourself at war with yourself. I don’t want you to be alarmed when a glass falls and shatters on the ground because it first sounds like… like gun fire to you. I don’t want you to feel weird or strange or misplaced because you don’t know how to tell me when something is wrong. I really just –,” you were sobbing at this point, furiously sobbing. You were taken aback by the rage that was unleashing itself in that moment – as if it had always been there, quietly seething inside of you, slowly scratching the emotional surface … until it was set free.

You took a deep, trembling breath.

“I want to punish every goddamn soul who ever did you wrong. I want you to be happy and content with who you are. I want you to feel free when riding a motorcycle, not like you’re on the run. I want you to listen to old music without feeling like you’re…out of this world. Everything you are is so … worthy and utterly beautiful to me. Everything about you makes me want to live– you know… live in a world that is not made for loving and kind and empathetic people. A world made for torture and lies and hate. And they did all of these things to you. I guess I just wish… I could’ve protected you.”

You stand up with shaky knees and walked slowly towards him, his silhouette ghost-like against the dim light coming from the bedroom you shared. You forced yourself to keep looking him in the eyes, not really able to read his expression though. Were you overwhelming him? You couldn’t tell. You couldn’t think about anything but the pain in your chest, the disappointment you felt in yourself that you knew was irrational – and yet felt terrifyingly real.

“And this – this isn’t –,” you tried to wipe the tears off your face, “This isn’t pity or something like that. I’m just angry at the world for hurting you. So fucking angry.”

You see Bucky frowning, not saying anything at first, just looking at you, watching you as you grabbed his face and ran your fingers carefully through his messy hair, tears still forming in your eyes but your breath starting to slow down. He had never experienced anything like that before. Or not in this way. Steve had looked at him the same way a few times before, when he was going to places Bucky was sure were just as dark as his very own. When his best friend was trying to fight against guilt and shame and hurt. But this – this was different. It was as if somehow he had managed to transition his pain and nightmares onto you. Bucky felt like he had done the very thing he was always so obsessively careful to avoid.

You looked him in the eye, still waiting for a reaction even though you weren’t sure you wanted one. It hadn’t been your plan for Bucky to find you like this, to listen to you losing control. And maybe, as he always did, as he was trained to do, he was blaming himself for what you just said.

Maybe you had just made a huge fucking mistake.

Almost automatically, you wrapped your arms around him, something you knew made him feel safe, and muttered softly: “I love you, Bucky.”

Bucky, too, wrapped his arms around your back and shoulders, holding you, just as you were holding him. And he remembered that giving each other stability and security was what you two were all about. Bucky made a decision in this very moment, hearing you breathe against his chest: right now, he could believe you, he was allowed to believe you and not think of himself as the monster they made him. He trusted you – because here you were, muttering I-love-you‘s like an affirmation, telling him how it hurt you to see him hurt. Empathy was something that came from a good place – standing with you in his arms, he realized that. And, for once, he was at peace with that – and with his decision.

“We’ll be okay. Trust me on this, doll.” He whispered, slightly taken aback by his own optimism.

You moved a bit away to look him in the eyes again and tried yourself on a smile. “I’ll make sure of that.”

Or I’ll die trying.

[utilitycaster]

You mentioned your opinion of jester changed a lot throughout campaign 2. Do you mind explaining how and why that happened?

Not at all!

I think I put this thought about Jester in my tags on my post about Orym being the “wet blanket” archetype. It’s my opinion that every D&D party needs if not a wet blanket per se, a pragmatic person who is willing to bring up the difficult or dull perspective; and they need a doer, a person who drives the story forward in a believable way. I love doers, and Jester’s story is that of becoming one.

I’m not a big fan of chaos. It doesn’t mean I dislike chaotically aligned characters or that I dislike wacky shenanigans but sometimes they can feel really artificial and forced, in a “uh don’t you have shit to do?” kind of way, especially in a not-explicitly-comedy show like CR; a lot of memes online about D&D leave me, a DM and a die-hard “doer” both in D&D and IRL, absolutely cold because it’s like no actually I don’t want to court chaos, I want to let the dice lay out the chaos for me. I want a good plan that goes awry because of weird rolls, not a plan that was always designed to be ridiculous.

So, unsurprisingly, early Jester, who was very much about chaos for its own sake (even if her reasons for that were valid), who was very sheltered and pampered, very innocently inconsiderate of people around her, and who had a fairly vague goal in mind, was less interesting to me than the more pragmatic Caleb, Fjord, and Beau, or the more clearly goal-oriented Nott, even though everyone in the party engaged in some degree of chaos. By the end, though, Jester was one of the people pushing the party forward and that was a huge factor (as was the incredibly well-acted portrayal of how she got there).

I think the first step towards me liking her more was the first job the group did for the Gentleman in Siff Duthar’s study; that was the point where I feel the Nein truly gelled as a party such that even if there were members I wasn’t as invested in, I still cared about them in the context of the group. For Jester, specifically, after that, it was also her facade slowly crumbling over time. I think her actions caring for the drunk group in Hupperdook and her relationship with Kiri were a strong start, and then obviously the aftermath of the Iron Shepherds affected her - and for that matter Fjord - very deeply. Both of their slow, weird, messy breakdowns over the entire pirates arc, in Jester’s case punctuated by The Gentleman’s dismissal of her, culminating in the aftermath of the dragon fight, pushed her a little more to the forefront in my mind.

I don’t have strong thoughts on the Xhorhas arc (an arc I honestly need to revisit) but Jester’s response to Yasha being taken and her quiet internal growth, her tentative forays into letting the mask slip and expressing negative emotions, and her deliberate attempts to act more mature all made me like her much more throughout the entire Angel of Irons arc, even though one could argue she still was pretty chaotic (see: the downtime in Rexxentrum episode).

The post-hiatus arcs, though, are what made her one of my favorites by the end. I loved her during the entire Artagan reveal/Rumblecusp arc, in which she had to grapple with leadership and immense responsibility. Jester was defined throughout the campaign by a deep love for and loyalty towards her friends, but as a result even her starring moments were often as support (something something utility casters); the cupcake moment was ultimately for Veth. With Rumblecusp she had to deal with betrayal (she never saw Yasha’s departure in that light, even though it was a valid reading) and external expectations far harsher than those of the Nein or her mother, and even the much smaller but still very real experience of having someone just dislike her for no good reason. I know some people dislike the Rumblecusp arc but in many ways I see it as one of the strongest arcs of the show, particularly in terms of character moments and even more particularly for Jester’s character development.

Then comes the final part of the story - Eiselcross, the interlude back in the Empire/Nicodranas/The Plane of Fire, and Aeor. That whole experience is something of a meat grinder for everyone, and the clerics in particular are the ones who I think have the strongest sense of the stakes (Aeor is one of my favorite Caduceus arcs as well for that reason). Jester moves into that role of the doer that she first explored in Rumblecusp - but this time it’s not for the god she has been friends with her entire life, it’s for the fate of the world.

There’s a reason why there’s a throughline in Jester and Fjord’s conversations from very early on about just going away somewhere quiet, as the stakes grow higher and the story gets darker (starting with the conversation on the Mistake shortly after their kidnapping and Molly’s death, continuing through their conversation at the Kiln just after Yasha falls under control, and then in Eiselcross after Jester enters the circle and a little more in the Blooming Grove before their final return to Aeor). Jester always wanted to see the world, but she learns it’s much harsher than she expected, and I loved seeing her come to terms with that and trying to change it rather than trying to avoid it. In the lead-up to the final fight with Lucien, she’s dealing with something she does not expect to survive it but she not only does it anyway but is one of the people pushing the others forward. While the idea of self-sacrifice isn’t a particularly original one in D&D, for Jester specifically to go from where she started to that position is an incredible yet wholly believable journey.

[denmark-street]

The Ink Black Heart Q&A

The full interactive Q&A will be available 8th September at 7.30pm (BST) /2.30pm (ET) and 9th September 4.30am (AEST) /6.30am (NZST), allowing fans to choose the questions to which they would like to hear Robert’s answers.

What does The Ink Black Heart explore?

I see this as a novel about disconnection. And people feeling disconnected in real life. And exploring what they find online as a way of connecting. But – it – I don’t want to give too much away. But the central theme of the book is anomie, which is a state of lacking normal social or moral norms. And – so, yeah, it’s really an exploration of that. It is a very sort of modern malaise. Although the term anomie has been around for a long, long time and it really – the term arose through industrialisation. People losing meaning in their daily lives and – and feeling that they themselves were not really part of society. Not really part of a whole. So, yeah. So, it’s a big theme. But it is explored in a very sort of contemporary way.

How much of the novel is drawn from your own experience?

I have never created a book – and this book certainly isn’t created from my own experience – you know, with a view to talking about my own life. That doesn’t mean, of course, that your own life experience isn’t in the book.

With this book – I had been planning this book for so long and then a couple of the things that happen in this book have since happened to me. And so, I would like to be very clear that I haven’t written this book as an answer to anything that happened to me. Although I have to say when it did happen to me, those who had already read the book in manuscript form were – are you clairvoyant? I wasn’t clairvoyant, I just – yeah, it was just one of those weird twists. Sometimes life imitates art more than one would like.

But, no, it’s not – this isn’t about my experience of – as being a creator. My experience – if I wrote about my experience as a creator, it would look very different. And I have to say, for example – which I think will be a question readers would ask: the Potter fandom, by and large, has been amazing to me. Incredibly supportive and I still receive tonnes of love from the Potter fandom. So, the fandom in this book is very much not a portrait of the fandom. It is of a very – I think a very different kind of fandom.

What is it that makes Strike and Robin such a good team?

The reason I love writing those two characters so much is I love them both as characters. And I love the friendship. I love writing – and of course I love writing the sexual tension, which I know is – is a big deal for certain readers. But my feeling was always that each of them had quite a lot of changing and growing to do. Even Strike who is 10 years older than Robin.

You know, his – his past is an unusual one. And it has left him with issues that I don’t think he has ever really fully explored. And I feel that in books five and six, this being book six, you start to see him recognising some of this. He has still got a way to go. Equally, Robin, who’s had, you know, not a particularly typical romantic history because of – she has trauma in her past – in this book really does get to show a quite – what I think readers might find quite an unexpected side of her.

So, I love – I love the fact – to me it is a real friendship, they do – they rub – they can occasionally infuriate each other. But they are very complementary personalities, I think.

[theassthatquits]

Blupjeans Week Day Four: Ship

@blupjeansweek2021

Lup sipped her drink slowly, taking in the scene around her. There were definitely a lot more men here than women, which meant that more attention would be placed on her. She could work with that. She thumbed through the many name tags she swiped and started writing a different name on each one and hid them under her leg when she was done. Speed dating was one of her favorite activities to do when she was Taako’s guest on a cruise.

At first it started out as a way to hook up with someone that she would never see again. Pretty easy when it was the last day and everyone came from different places. Very quickly she realized that this was the perfect opportunity to spread chaos. She now had four rules:

No one gets to know her real name

No one gets to know any true facts about her, actually.

On the off chance she did like someone here, no spending the night with anyone.

Definitely no off the ship contact

The bell signaling the start of the night sounded and she pulled herself together, slapping on a name tag reading “Ryn” as her first victim, smirking and a little gross looking, sat down across from her.

“Lucky me, first round with the hottest girl in the room.”

Lup would be lying if she said she had never heard that one before.

“Oh god, I only hope that this will be over soon.”

His face dropped. “A little rude, aren’t we Ryn?” He leaned in close. “Playing hard to get?”

“How can I play hard to get when we’ve only just met?”

He paused, thinking. “Are you...rhyming with me?”

“Whatever do you mean? I’m afraid this I cannot see.”

“Okay, I see what’s going on here.”

“I do not understand, could you explain to a fellow peer?” Lup tried really hard to pull it off but she was grinning ear to ear.

The man rolled his eyes. “I think we’re done here.”

“Hey look who’s rhyming now!” His glare towards her was punctuated with the bell, signaling a partner change and hers couldn’t get away fast enough, done with her antics. She swapped out her name tag for one that read “Liza”.

Her next match was objectively the hottest man in the room and she’d be lying if she had said she hadn’t thought about breaking the rules. He sat down with some finger foods in his hand and took a bite. His face contorted and he spat the bite out in a napkin. “Oh, Gods. I think this is the worst food I’ve ever tasted on a cruise.”

Yeah, she wasn’t going home with this guy. How dare anyone spit out Taako’s food! She smiled sweetly, “Do you go on many of these?”

“Oh yeah, I cruise several times a year. I need something to do with all of the money I make.” He was really laying it on thick and it took everything she had not to roll her eyes.

“Sounds lonely.” She reached out and stroked his arm flirtatiously.

“It can be, sometimes.”

“Do you think I could help with that?”

He smirked. “Yeah, I think you could, babydoll.”

Gross. She almost gagged but smiled instead. She took out her pen and wrote a random room number on his arm. “This is my room. I’ll be back there in 15 minutes. Meet me there.”

His eyes lit up, “oh, yes. Sounds good. I’ll see you soon.” He stood up, winking at her and then he breezed out of the room as the bell rang.

“Ugh, so gross.” Lup made a gagging face trying to get the thought of him out.

“Hello - oh, are you okay?” She looked up to see a man in his thirties wearing glasses, a button up shirt, and blue jeans. He stood out in the room where every other man was wearing slacks and a tie. Lup paused for a second and then realized she had yet to speak and his face was getting more and more concerned for her.

“Uh, yes. Just swallowed down the wrong way, you know how it is.”

“Oh, yes I do,” He nodded solemnly. “Shit!” He yelled under his breath as he spilled half of his drink on himself while sitting down. Lup took this opportunity to switch out her name tag to “Eve”. After she was done he was still trying to clean himself up. His - Barry, she could tell from the tag - face was a deep red. Her heart pinged slightly at that, this poor man was so out of his element and it was kind of endearing.

“Here, let me help.” Lup handed over some napkins and leaned over the table, purposefully giving him a good view down her dress but he was so focused on cleaning up he didn’t even look. Lup didn’t know why she almost felt disappointed about that.

“Uh, thank you. I’m Barry.”

Double-checking her name tag she responded, “Eve.”

“Eve. That’s very pretty.”

“Thank you, Barold.”

He nearly coughed up his drink at that before collapsing into giggles. “Barold? I like it.”

“I think it’s fitting, Mr. Barold Bluejeans.”

“It’s actually Hallwinter -“

“Not in those jeans it’s not.”

He giggled again and damn if that didn’t do something to her. “Got me there. I’m not sure what people wear to cruises, I only packed swim trunks and blue jeans and I was not about to wear my trunks to a singles only event.”

“Oh, is this your first cruise?”

“Yeah, I won a contest at my university. I teach theoretical physics and I guess I had the most positive reviews or something from the students. I didn’t really know the contest was going on until I had won it.”

“Ooooh Professor Barold Bluejeans.” Something about that made her insides ache. “How are you enjoying your first cruise?”

“It’s nice. I haven’t taken a vacation since undergrad, so it’s been pretty great to just relax by the poolside and catch up on paperwork.”

“Did you seriously bring work to your vacation?”

Barry cocked his head, confused. “Yeah, is that a big deal?”

“Barold!! It’s a vacation! You don’t bring any work!” She was getting worked up and heads began to turn towards them. “You: drink a lot of alcohol, swim a lot, read a book by the beach, eat a lot of food, watch the weird as fuck shows they bring onboard, and hook up with a hottie you will never see again.” She listed these off on her fingers.

“Well I’ve done most of those things!”

“Yeah? Hook up with a hottie?” She winked at him and his face got a deep deep red.

“No, not that one. I read and swim and eat and drink. The food here is absolutely incredible, I’ve never had anything like it.”

“Yes! One point for Barold!” She high-fived him. “My brother is the head chef, everything he makes is exquisite.” Lup froze. She’s never revealed anything of herself at these before but with Barry it just felt natural. Maybe the rules didn’t need to be so strict after all. “What shows have you seen?”

“Well, uh, I haven’t seen any. I pretty much only swim, read, and eat.”

“So you haven’t explored the boat??”

“Not really.”

“Oh my gods, Barold. You are squandering this vacation. Cancel your plans tonight, we’re going exploring.”

He raised an eyebrow, amused. “Yeah?”

It was her turn to blush. Damn him. “If you want to, I mean. We haven’t exactly finish speed dating.”

“Hmm true, and I could find someone that loves doing paperwork poolside…”

She swatted at him playfully and he laughed. “I’m kidding! Yes, please, Eve. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

Lup froze, at first upset that he misremembered her name before she realized that she had given him a fake one. It was too late to go back now, she figured. She could be Eve for the rest of the night. It’s not like she was ever going to see this man again.

“You okay?”

God, he was so observant. It was like he saw right through her. She smiled and grabbed his hand. “I’m perfect. Now come on, Bluejeans. We have a whole weekend of mischief to catch up on.”

[bigskydreaming]

And one more bit from the “Kings of the Sky” AU albeit several installments in, because I just......don’t know when or why I stumbled into an obsession with the dynamics between Dick and Jason and Cass as the eldest three Wayne siblings, but its there, its real, and its happening. I’ve stopped fighting it. I just....enjoy writing those three being dumb siblings who are dumb like so, so much.

Anyway, in this AU series, Jason doesn’t go to Ethiopia and die, but rather eventually joins Dick at Titans Tower more regularly and is Flamebird. Both are closer with Bruce here than in canon because Dick helped Bruce and Jason get through the Garzonas stuff and Jason helped kick Bruce in the direction of Dick and adoption papers right after the Brother Blood storyline. Then Cass is actually the third to join the family, by way of Babs, and she’s Batgirl and then Black Bat, but there’s a period of time when its just Dick, Jason and Cass as the Wayne kids. 

(PS - this is the same series as where Jason ends up with his own age group of Titans, and accidentally falls into a love quadrangle of doom that is absolutely NOT a polycule dammit, with Tom Bronson (Tomcat), Ray Terrill (The Ray) and Todd Rice (Obsidian). Which amuses his brother and sister to no end).

Tim and Duke are both next, but sorta at the same time? Like Tim’s story takes a sharp turn when Robin II never dies and obviously is Flamebird now like Robin I is Nightwing, and Tim winds up in foster care after his parents die differently than in canon. Duke is also in foster care at this time, though a different placement, and while no Robin has died here, its been awhile since there’s been one in Gotham, and to kids who grew up with the idea of there always being a Robin, that feels weird and wrong ultimately. 

So Tim and Duke both hit on the idea of being Robin like, at around the same time and totally disconnected from one another, and that leads to them both joining the Batfam around the same time, and co-sharing Robin until Damian arrives much later and they both move on to new identities. But there’s no real confusion between Robins because Duke is the daytime Robin with more yellow coloring in his costume and Tim is the nighttime Robin with more red, and people say Red or Yellow if they ever need to differentiate which Robin they’re talking about. Anyway.

************

So [Tim and Duke] run into trouble eventually and then when running from trouble they run into each other and they’re like….huh. Awkward. And then they decide well, might as well both run from trouble in the same direction, I guess. So they do.

“Did you have a plan for dealing with these guys?” Tim yelled at Duke. The other boy looked back over his shoulder briefly and gave what would probably have been a half-shrug if he didn’t awkwardly try to barrel-roll over a car two seconds later.

“Umm, sorta?”

“How sorta are we talking about? Maybe the two of us together could fill in the gaps in the plan and come up with one full plan?”

“Uh yeah, no, its not that kinda sorta. I meant sorta in the sense that I thought I had a plan but it didn’t work and that’s why these guys are after me. Sooooo…”

“Not helpful, basically.”

“Yeah. Pretty much. And hey, I don’t hear you offering up a plan! Did you even have one at all?”

“Uh….I mean I kinda didn’t think I was going to need one because I figured some kid running around in a mask making a nuisance of himself was the sorta thing that was bound to attract Batman. And so I was just pretty much running around until that happened, and then I’d make a case for how I obviously need training and Gotham needs Robin and if its not me its likely to be someone else trying eventually anyway so why not be me?”

Duke paused just long enough to squint at him. “That’s a terrible plan.”

Tim rolled his eyes. The effort didn’t pair well with his huffing and over-all exertions from running for his life and all that, but necessity demanded. “Yeah I know, that’s why I never said it was a plan! It was mostly….more…idea-ish.”

“I’m just saying, I thought I was doing this wrong, but at least I had a plan! I mean yeah, it might have ended up with me accidentally busting in on what I thought was a bunch of Riddler’s henchmen setting up some kind of clue thing, only it was actually a bunch of Intergang type guys with alien space guns or some shit all dressed up as Riddler henchmen for some reason? I dunno what they were trying to do honestly, but so yeah I might have ended up running away on foot from like twenty of them and some kind of hovercycle -”

“I’m going to cut you off there and say wherever this is going its probably not the superior vantage point I think you think you have.”

Meanwhile, Batman was not going to be coming because he’s off on a JLA mission. However, in his absence Dick and Jason are in town filling in, and they finished taking out the bad guys several blocks back and caught up to whomever was running from them, figured out the situation and are currently sitting on the edge of a rooftop watching them realize they’re totally lost and trying to figure out where to go from here. Mostly because Dick and Jason are incredibly amused listening to their back and forth and also just…this whole situation.

Dick justifies not piping up to let them know they’re safe now by saying this is good intel gathering so we can offer Bruce our assessment as to whether they’re gonna try and keep doing this whether we train them or not, and also how they handle this whole being lost situation. Not knowing they don’t have to run anymore isn’t going to hurt them and really, this is a good field exercise almost.

Jason justifies not piping up by saying this is fucking hilarious and I will hurt you if you end this any sooner than we have to, I deserve this, I had a rough week.

Which is right around the time that Cass pipes up from where she’s been lurking unnoticed behind them this whole time: “Oh no. Was it Tom? Or Ray? Or was it Todd?”

And she does it right in Jason’s ear so he kinda aborted-shrieks and almost falls off the roof except Cass is ready for that and grabs his arm to steady him.

“I hate when you do that!” Jason growls in an attempt to cover up how badly she got him and also because he hates when she does it which is why she does it a lot. Again, they don’t hate each other at all, but they do seem to act like it a lot, and neither of them is entirely sure why. They kinda just started doing it and have each been trying to get the other back ever since and ended up locked in an unending spiral of gotcha-gotchaback, except, y’know, Batfam style.

Dick occasionally picks sides just to muddy the waters. And then he randomly switches sides without warning, so neither of them ever wants to risk getting too peeved at him even when he’s helping the other, because that might push him fully over to the other side and leave them permanently outnumbered, so they’re kinda stuck, which is exactly as he likes it, lol.

“Why are you Satan,” Jason hisses dramatically as he gets up and stomps over to the other side of the roof to sulk, lest she almost knock him off again. Its not the almost falling part that bothers him, its that she’s the one that snatches him to safety each time. She’s like a freaking cat toying with a - yeah not going there, just blaming Selina. Knew them hanging out was going to be bad news for me somehow, he gripes.

Cass just shrugs and smoothly sits down cross-legged right where she is, grinning Cheshire-cat style at him from there. “Childhood trauma,” is her answer.

“Great, and now you’re stealing my comeback on top of it?! Is nothing sacred to you?”

She offers another shrug. He would like to return those for store credit please. Maybe get something useful instead. “Haven’t decided yet. Babs is still helping me explore my options. We’re going alphabetically and we’re only on  the E-religions.”

“God, you’re the worst. I can’t believe you ruined sisters for me.”

“You already used that same line last week when you came out of your room still half-asleep and she was just sitting directly across from your door waiting and staring unblinking and you yelped and dropped your laptop on your toe, and then cursed so loud that B came running around the hall thinking we were being invaded,” Dick reported idly, still perched in the same position he’d been in all along and watching the boys below them. “Just in case you thought no one noticed when you recycle.”

“I noticed too,” Cass added solemnly.

“I have no siblings,” Jason intoned. He threw up his hands dramatically and then loudly jumped down to the street below with a little help from the fire escape. It drew both Duke and Tim’s attention and they startled before realizing it was Flamebird. And that he’d landed on the street and was stalking past them while barely acknowledging them. And that that was Nightwing standing on the roof now with his hands on his hips yelling after him.

“Oh, reeeeeeal subtle. You’re not having fun anymore so you gotta make sure nobody else does either. Wow, the Brat-like behavior, just jumped out of the shadows with that one!”

And that was Flamebird not even turning around and just yelling back. “I HAVE NO SIBLINGS!”

And also they were both pretty sure that was Batgirl crouched on the roof next to Nightwing now, and she was…..sticking her tongue out at Flamebird’s back? No, Batgirl very much definitely was sticking out her tongue, that wasn’t in doubt, it was more just….very unexpected to see.

What was happening right now?

********

Eventually Tim and Duke have inevitably worn down [Bruce’s] resistance to training them by insisting they’re gonna keep doing this and if its not them its gonna be someone sooner or later anyway. Because, as they put it, you guys may not know this but Gotham’s gotten used to Robins by now and it freaks people out not to see one and Robin’s as important as Batman really and there needs to be a Robin and its not just us that will think that, like look at the fact that already two of us had the exact same idea, huh? And also, we’re gonna keep doing it anyway, sooooo….there’s that.

And then Cass vouches that they’re both 100% serious about that.

And then Dick vouches that as a former determined daredevil kid that was absolutely going to keep doing the same thing no matter whether you’d helped me or not, B, I also am of the assessment that these two mean it all the way.

And not to be left out and just to have something to contribute but also grumpy because his brother and sister are picking on him and he’s eighteen going on ten, Jason throws in: “And my assessment is that they both definitely seem dumb enough to keep doing this without help anyway and they definitely need help or they definitely will die, I’d give it a month, month and a half tops.”

And then Bruce dryly thanks his children for their contributions, their keen insights in this matter have been absolutely invaluable, he has no idea how he would make a decision here without it.

“Oooh, a rare sighting of Bat-snark in the wild. Someone call Nat-Geo quick, maybe he’ll do it again,” Dick says.

Bruce sighs. Duke and Tim look like they’re trying to decide if they’re allowed to be amused or if that’s also part of some weird Bat-test that they’re probably taking without even knowing it.

So Tim and Duke move in, start training together, and then also get sent to school together and it takes a month or so of settling in before they decide whether or not they actually are happy about this. There’s a period of deciding they’re supposed to be bitter rivals who snipe at each other back and forth across the dining table at every available opportunity, but that changes the first night Dick and Jason come back from the Tower since Tim and Duke have moved in and where Cass is also home instead of at the Clocktower with Babs.

Since all three of the older Batkids, upon seeing Tim and Duke squabble at dinner, decide to obnoxiously coo about how adorable it is watching the kids play. Which pretty instantly cements Duke and Tim as realizing their best chance of surviving the sudden acquisition of three older superhero ninja foster siblings who all can be as obnoxious as they are dangerous but also as much as they are - Duke and Tim are convinced - all quite insane.

A belief further cemented the next morning, with all three of them having spent the night at the Manor as well. Treating Duke and Tim to their first Saturday morning episode of the Cass and Jason show.

In this episode, Jason emerged from his bedroom in his pajamas still but warily peeking his head out first to look both ways down the hall before deciding it was clear…..and then makes it just almost to the end of the hallway leading to the stairs, when Cass drops down from where she’d been waiting perched above the other side of the door, in such a way as to suddenly fill the doorway just in front of him, hanging upside down suspending herself just with her feet wedged above the doorway, all while keeping her hands crossed her chest, a dead-eyed expression on her face, and with her tongue hanging out like she’s some kind of vampire hanging upside down in mid-slumber.

Jason shrieked and stumbled back a foot before catching himself and shoving two fingers in a cross shape in her direction.

“Demon! DEMON! Goddammit, I abjure thee, that’s supposed to fucking do something about having a demon sister, now what the fuck does it take to banish you!?”

“Can’t be banished,” Cass informed him, still upside down. “Can be bought though.”

Jason halted. “What?”

“I’m really surprised you never figured it out,” Dick said from his room further down the hallway. He was leaning against the doorjamb, arms casually crossed.

“Why did you think she never goes after me?”

Jason swiveled back and forth between his siblings suspiciously, trying to scry both their inscrutable (and in Cass’ case, still upside down) faces for signs they were telling the truth. “You’re telling me that Little Miss Monstrous has been a pain in my ass from day one and the reason she’s never so much as eked a single boo in your direction is you’ve been bribing her all this time?”

Dick shrugged. “Its all about getting in on the ground floor.”

Jason squinted, still unconvinced. “Nuh-uh. No way. You’re just fucking with me. Like if this is for real, what have you been buying her off with?”

Dick smiled beatifically. “Cuddles and hugs.”

“NO! NO! Bullshit! I am NOT falling for this crap again, you are not gonna get me this way this time. I call BS, fuck you, nuh uh, you’re lying out your ass and your ass-face both.”

“Wait, what is this ‘this’ that I did before? What ever are you talking about?”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about.”

“Is this about the Care Bear you had when you were fifteen?”

“Shut upppppppppppppppp, I didn’t have a Care Bear then, you’re such a - “

“Oh, I dunno, I’m preeeeetty sure there’s some holiday photos from that year that would say otherwise, pretty definitively in the form of you and your Care Bear….”

“That I only had because you literally just gave it to me as a present solely so that you could claim that I had a Care Bear when I was fifteen, you douchebag!”

“Just because I gave you the Care Bear didn’t mean you had to keep the Care Bear and hold the Care Bear and love the Care Bear, Jay. You chose to do all that.”

“I only kept the damn thing because you’re an asshole who lied about it being a family heirloom so I felt like I had to or I’d be a total jerk. Is nothing sacred to you?”

“I didn’t lie! It is a treasured family heirloom! Its the first Care Bear I gave to my little brother to teach him the important and valuable lesson that Care Bears - say it with me now - “

“Finish that sentence and they will never find your body.”

“CARE!” Cass shrieked from behind him before jumping on Jason’s back and bearing him down to the floor in an undignified tangle as she splayed atop him like a starfish and he stared up at the ceiling in a kind of strangled frozen fury, like there was so much emotion he wanted to process he’d overheated and now was stuck like that until he cooled down.

That was when Dick leaned over him and solemnly added one final thought, as though it was a crucial addition of the gravest importance:: “A lot.”

Jason’s eye twitched.

Dick’s eyes went wide in response. “Uh oh. He went to the Danger Zone. Run Cass. We’ve unleashed the dogs of war!”

Cass was off and on her feet in a second, taking off down the hall like a rocket. “Not the dogs of war!” She yelled.

Dick was only seconds behind her when behind him, Jason rose like an eruption, growling wordlessly and sparks practically flashing from his suddenly flinty eyes. He charged after them like an enraged bull.

“Kenny Loggins wouldn’t want this!” Dick yelled over his shoulder as he rounded the doorway and vanished. Jason rounded it in hot pursuit.

“Poison Ivy won’t even be able to make compost from what’s left of you when I’m through!”

The yelling and running vanished into the distance. Duke and Tim finally looked at each other blankly.

“What?” Tim asked. Duke shrugged helplessly.

A door opened at the end of the hallway. Bruce stuck his head out. “Is it safe?”

Tim just stared at him.

“What?” Duke asked.

**************

LOL mostly I just want to get to the tail end of the series, when Dick and Jason go undercover as supervillains in the Society of well, Supervillains....Dick as War Shrike and Jason as Gray Jay. (A kind of bird usually known for or referenced as being thieving and unpredictable and unexpectedly dangerous despite its size. Jason never went into the Lazarus Pit here and so isn’t as huge as he is in canon, he’s on the smaller side due to his early life’s malnutrition. Living with Bruce helped him catch up enough that he’s not TINY tiny, but he’s still smaller enough that this particular mantle fits him a little better than it would his massive canon depiction).

Cass also partakes in the undercover storyline, just showing up uninvited in a persona she’s crafted for the mission and calls Black Swan. And War Shrike and Gray Jay are both so startled and obviously a little freaked by her unexpected arrival, that combined with her being ticked at her brothers for leaving her behind, RUDE, and them sufficiently cowed and guilted by her wrath, that it all adds up to the other villains as being clear evidence that she is the boss and they are her advance minions. 

Which mollifies and satisfies Cass immensely, and leaves Jason grumpy that their mission was hijacked and also his sister is The Worst, and leaves Dick temporarily disgruntled because This Whole Thing Was His Idea DAMMIT but then five seconds later finding it hilarious because Dick is a chaos connoisseur and he has an appreciation for whimsy and the unexpected.

“I can’t believe you not only gate-crashed our extremely sensitive and delicate undercover operation, but you completely hijacked it as well! This is so typical,” Jason grouched.

Cass simply swept ahead of him and strode down the hallway with lethal grace. “Silence minion.”

Jason spluttered behind her and she grinned to herself. He really made it too easy sometimes.

[suddenrundown]

heartsong au & eliot & current state of the ot3

i found / amber run

except really just the chorus, eliot @ parker

and i found love where it wasn't supposed to be / right in front of me / talk some sense to me

i had a thought about this whole song being about moreau but like. now i am. help eliot and parker and hardison mood.

Hoo boy, pebbles lol.

You know, redemption is gonna be one of those things that we're gonna have to pick and choose the things we want to acknowledge. Fortunately for heartsong au, I refuse to acknowledge redemption's take on the ot3. That ain't real.

But...I do like where your head is at. So let's do this thing!

Heartsong au of the hurricane job (or: canon is what I say it is!)

Parker can really only blame herself.

She's the one who convinced Eliot to get the marshal to help them out on this job. Insisted, even, when he’d hesitated.

“Shipp is a cop, Eliot,” she’d said. “If we’re gonna be dealing with crooked cops, it’ll be helpful to have someone who knows how they think.”

That really wasn’t the truth, though. The two of them could have handled it on their own, and they would have been much safer sticking with just the two of them instead of throwing another person into this whole hurricane mess. (In her defense, she hadn’t though to check the weather, but who would have??) No, really, it was that Parker had seen an opportunity, a way to fix the problem she and Eliot had been having. Or not having. Can you really have a problem if you don’t acknowledge you have one?

If she gave Eliot time with the marshal, then maybe, just maybe, there wouldn’t be this weird distance between him and herself. If she watched for a sign that this was what was right, that Eliot could have a Maria Shipp branch budding off of what was their long-standing relationship tree, she could push him in that direction. For so long, it’s just been the three of them; it would be okay if Eliot wanted something a little separate from the “we” of it all. At least, she would get okay with it.

So, she can really only blame herself for the heartsongs she’s hearing now.

Maria’s started up as soon as she’d gotten to the hotel and seen Eliot. 

♫I can see clearly now, the rain is gone. I can see all the obstacles in my way ♫

Funny, that one. She’d sang it soaking wet. 

Not so funny was Eliot’s. 

♫Let me tell you the story about the call that changed my destiny. Me and the boys went out just to end up in misery ♫

A reprise of the first time he’d ever seen Shipp. There was no country spin on it, which was weird, and Parker had gone home and googled the lyrics. It was an old song by Backstreet Boys, The Call. The story behind the lyrics was pretty easy to parse out; she should have said something then, should have told Eliot that he was allowed to to explore that option, that he never needed to make any sort of “call” to her that he’d regret forever. 

If Hardison were around, he would have said something. But he wasn’t, and so he didn’t, and neither did she. 

She can fix it though, the weird, awkward tension that’s been hanging over the two of them since then, and bridge what feels like a very large gap

♫ And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, right in front of me. Talk some sense to me ♫

She looks over at Eliot at the hotel bar, bag of ice held to his shoulder as he croons away. 

I’ll talk some sense into you. 

♫ And I'll use you as a makeshift gauge, of how much to give and how much to take ♫

And she’ll do it right now.

“Eliot,” she says hurriedly, feeling incredibly anxious, and the music abruptly cuts out as he turns to look at her. “Come with me.”

He grumbles a little as he stands, wincing when he jostles his arm, but he puts up no argument and follows her.

♫Hungry eyes♫ Maria sings, and Parker can feel her watching. ♫One look at you and I can’t disguise-- ♫

Parker tries to tune her out. You’ll get your fill later. Just let me do this first.

“What’s the plan, Park?” Eliot asks when they get into the back kitchen, not really looking at her.

“We need to talk,” she tells him as she wrings her hands in front of her. She notices and tries to still.

Eliot makes a face. “Not really a good time. The cops--”

“Can wait a minute,” she interrupts, and sounds too desperate. “Please, Eliot.”

He must hear it, because he finally does give her his full attention, gaze searching her face. Then, he just nods.

It takes her a minute to gather the courage to ask the question. But it needs to be asked, so she does gather it, and screws her eyes shut: “Do you want Maria?”

Eliot splutters out nonsense syllables before finally managing “What?”

“You heard me,” she replies, opening her eyes again. “Do you want Maria?”

“How am I supposed to answer that?” he asks indignantly.

“With the truth.”

There’s silence then, and when an answer does come, it comes with music, the same as before

♫ I'll use you as a warning sign, that if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind. ♫

No. No no no--

♫And I found-- ♫

“No!” Parker cups his face in her hands, and he blinks, startled.

“What the hell?!”

“You keep singing!”

“Well that ain’t my fault,” he gripes. “’m not singin’ in reality, am I?”

“It’s not my fault either,” she huffs, frustrated, and feeling close to tears. “I just....I need you to concentrate, Eliot. Your heart is telling us something, and I want to hear it straight from you. If you want Maria, then that’s fine. You’re allowed to, and I won’t hold you back. But don’t hold yourself back from me. I miss you.”

His expression softens. “I....miss you, too, Park.”

So it isn’t just her; he’s felt it, too. At least she isn’t going crazy. 

“Okay,” she says, and drops her hands. “Okay. Let’s just...take a second. I’ll ask again, and you take your time answering. There’s no wrong answer. Hardison and I want you happy, and if Maria would make you happy, then we wouldn’t mind sharing you.” She scrunches up her nose. “But I’m not dating her, too.”

He rolls his eyes at that, but says nothing, waiting for her to ask the question again. 

“Eliot,” she says slowly, “do you want Maria?”

He opens his mouth to respond, but then closes it again, expression pained, but knowing that she asked him to think. So he does, for what feels like a very long time.

Finally, he does respond. “I don’t think so.”, 

“No?” she asks.

“No. I like her, I find myself attracted to her, but I... ♫ I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, right in front of me ♫

Her heart sinks. Why is he still singing then?   

♫ Talk some sense to me ♫ he goes, on, looking at her, hand reaching out to...to cup her face. ♫And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be ♫

Wait a second....

♫ Right in front of me ♫

...he’s still singing.

♫talk some sense to-- ♫

Eliot’s song is stopped by the press of her lips to his; too long has it been and too happy is she that she can’t quite stop herself. Eliot makes a surprised noise, but gets over it pretty quickly, kissing her back hungrily. Parker clings to him tightly. 

It’s been...so long.

Eliot is the one to break the kiss, pulling just far back enough to say in a voice that’s a little breathless “Sorry, ‘m sorry, I thought...I just felt so terrible about even considerin’ that I couldn’t--”

“No,” she replies, in much the same tone, “me too, I didn’t know how--”

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” And then it’s more than fine as his lips meet her again. Her hands go to the beanie on his head to toss it aside, and free to run her hands through his hair, she does--

♫And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be ♫ Eliot pulls away to sing.

Parker laughs; of course the heartsongs would kill the moment. She cups his face in her hands again. “You’re singing again.”

“Shit,” he replies, the music halting abruptly. “Well, can you blame me?”

She leans forward to press her forehead to his. “No,” she replies. “I really can’t.”

[wizkiddx]

i saw that you at least used to write for harry could u do another? like maybe im just a basic bitch but 'only one bed' trope or sm

Summary: honestly just me shitty attempt at the only one bed thing ahah with Harry Holland x reader

no warnings I don’t think apart from my ramabling :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God you were groggy. It had been a long 16 hour flight and you were well and truly completely over this day. Once you’d had some proper sleep, no doubt you will be beyond excited to explore the forest and beaches of this remote island in Indonesia. You were certain it was beautiful, even if you’d arrived in the dead of night so you couldn’t see any of the majesty yet. It was one of the joys of being Tom’s makeup artist - travelling the world and being paid for it? A literal dream. 

Except maybe the previous 24 hours. The Holland name carried a lot of weight in the world, but not enough to control typhoons across the tropics - there were some limitations to his power. And yes first class lounges were nice but none had beds to crash on during the 6 hour weather delay. The four of you (Tom, Harry, Andrew and yourself)  ended up camping out in a out-the-way corner. Tom got the long sofa; Andrew in one of those weird egg line chairs; you and Harry splayed on the floor. Why you’d had to get up at 4 am to catch a flight that was now not departing till 12 hours later actually hurt to think about - especially because you’d all gone out for a meal the night before that had inevitable went a lot later than planned. 

Two connecting flights with a very angry baby later, the four of you were checking in to the only hotel on the island - which was now almost exclusively filled with the production team for Tom’s newest movie. It wasn’t especially big-budget with massive million pound overheads, instead a smaller scale indie film (that you privately thought might earn Tom a number of accolades). But yeh, shooting on an island that received almost no tourism meant everything was different to the usual. None more so than for Tom and his team (including you) who he normally would look after very well, with the nicest hotel rooms or rental homes. 

The hotel was basic, you’d known that before you arrived but seeing is believing is it not? Most entertaining though, was seeing Tom’s face. Andrew was a well travelled older guy, he had stayed in some shitholes in his life. Equally you and Harry had both travelled when you were younger (you through inter railing and him in australia), so had stayed in hostels before. But for Hollywood star Tom Holland? The way he tilted his head to the side as if to say ‘really this place?’ did lift your spirits momentarily. 

Andrew had got his key first, bidding you all good night with a grunt, then Tom - who still seemed confused as to the whole arrangements. It left you and Harry at the small dingy reception, the warm glow of an old lantern-esque light fixing illuminating the place. The guy behind the desk was a smiley local and greeted you warmly, if incorrectly.

“Ah and finally the couple I see!” He spoke with a thick accent but still very clear English which had you questioning if this was just a translational error. Harry looked at you instantly, his eyes wide which made you scoff - him joining in, shaking his unruly curly mop emphatically.

“No no we um… we aren’t together.” All the while Harry pointed between the two of you, communicating through actions rather than just the language, given that you were both the very typical Brits abroad who hadn’t learnt the language of the place they were visiting. 

“Still under Holland name?” The guy asked in a perplexed manner, flicking through a book filled with cursive scribbles and scanning to see if he’d made a mistake. He checked one, then looked up nervously before checking the same page once again- you saw where this was going. ”We, we only have couples room down for you though? 3 double rooms is the booking for Holland.” 

It was late, you both stunk of a combination of plane and BO, you both just wanted your individual and respective beds. 

“Well can we get another room then?” Harry didn’t quite snap but there was still an impatientcy to his voice, which came out whenever he was a little agitated. Seeing the slightly worried look the mans eyes, you leaned onto the desk with a genuine smile. 

“Sorry we know its last minute and its not your fault, we’ve just had a really long flight.”

“I am terribly sorry miss but we are only small hotel and Hollywood has filled us up. I have no other rooms. I am truly sorry sir, ma’am.” The guy went from looking worried to terrified as Harrys jaw tensed up, you naturally squeezed his arm to try and ground him, instantly deciding that you’d just work it out. 

“No no it’s not your fault, don’t worry we’ll figure it out. Can I just get the key?”

Harry stepped back and let youtakeover proceedings, signing all the insurance documents etc and asking the man about the breakfast arrangements and such, though you saw him furiously typing on his phone and by the buzzing in your pocket- presumed he was messaging the group of you Tom, Andrew and himself. 

Once finished the guy pointed you on your way, up two flights of stairs and down a hall. The whole time Harry was muttering about how useless the other two were for not replying and also for making the wrong booking in the first place. If only you hadn’t been the last two to checkin, then it would’ve been someone else’s problem.

He felt especially guilty just because you were the only girl-  he didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable, hence why he was trying to locate his brother so they could share tonight till they got it figured out. The tension, combined with sleep deprivation, was palpable as you both walked in silence toward the room - Harry was trying to formulate a plan in his head as they did so. And honestly? You just couldn’t be bothered to deal with it. So, once you reached the door 57 holding the physical key (old school, rather than a key card) you just decided to address it. 

“Will you chill please?” 

“Well if my idiot broth-“

“Oh leave him be for god sake. If you’re okay with it I really don’t mind sharing with you tonight?” Not bothering to laugh at his slightly shocked expression with mouth hanging a little open, you fiddled with the key until the lock clicked open. From the entrance you had a pretty clear view of the whole room and… well, lets just say dated would be a fair expression - when compared to what you were used to? The floor was tiled and the bed was a small double, with some funky and slightly washed out prints of blue and red on the cover. The pillows looked a little limp, more like glorified pieces of cardboard than anything fluffy and comfortable. The walls were that yellowy magnolia shade that everyone in the UK had gone insane for in the 80s and there was an old school wooden wardrobe in the corner. 

Home for 5 weeks. 

With a shrug of your shoulders you entered, dumping your personal and work suitcases by the far wall carelessly - the higher priority action being to collapse on the bed. Doing so with an overdramatic huff, you let your eyes close but payed special attention to the delayed footsteps of Harry as he entered, then the slight creaking noise as he perched on the other side of the bed - no doubt looking at you, at least slightly fearfully. 

The relationship between you and Harry was complex to say the least. Well no… it should be, not on the face of it. You had met through work and made friends. And you wished it was that simple but alas, nothing ever really is. When you’d first worked with Tom you were in the tail end of a relationship you had long since forgotten about - literally meaningless, not worth the time and effort you’d put into it. From the start you’d had a feeling Harry was more interested in you than the average co-worker (even if your job and therefore co-workers were anything but normal and average) but you were in a relationship so nothing ever came. 

Then almost as if synchronised, just as you got out your relationship, Harry threw himself in the deep end with a girl he’d met through his family friends. Then the roles were somewhat reversed, you now spent a good chunk of your day just entertaining yourself with thoughts of the curly headed, slightly awkward, very-passionate-about-tea-making Holland. The cliche is so real - your always want what you cannot have. 

However, a couple months ago his relationship had fizzled and faded away leaving both of you in a sort of no mans land. The sort of not wanting to ruin the friendship situation. The subject was never broached by either you - except you assumed he was being tormented in a similar way to how you were by his big brother and Andrew. Never publicly, yet whenever you found yourself alone in a room with one of them (being Tom’s makeup artist that happened often enough) there would always be a sly dig. The chemistry was  so ‘obvious even a blind man could see it’. Somehow though, weeks of this and your were still stuck. Stuck in the middle. 

“You sure you’re alright with this?” His voice was gruffer and hoarser from the long journey but you could hear the self-consciousness and naivety in his tone, without having to peel your eyes open and look at his face. 

“I know your not a murder and plus, we shared the airport floor this morning… this is pretty much the same.” He hummed in acknowledgement so you carried on “and plus your pint sized.” That earned you a playful shove in the side as you sniggered, before pulling yourself up so you we now sitting next to him, legs hanging off the edge of the bed. His brown eyes searched deeply into yours, as if physically checking for any hint of regret or hesitation. “Don’t even dare offering to go on the floor.” 

“Okay okay okay!” Holding his hands up in surrender, you both laughed, breaking the peace of the late night of the remote Indonesian island. Once an impressive yawn interrupted you though, Harry proclaimed it was time for bed and shooed you into the bathroom to get changed and sorted. 

Honestly you were too tired and lazy to dig out your cleanser and skin stuff, instead opting to just splash a bit of water on your face before swapping into your pj shorts and an old tattered oversized tee. Once done you and Harry swapped, him coming out a couple minutes later in basketball shorts and a black loose fitting tee. 

It wasn’t awkward so to speak, more a sort of excited-tense atmosphere, which there was no doubt Harry was mainly responsible. The boy was jittery and on edge, which to put simply, you didn’t have the energy to reciprocate. 

With a quiet wish of goodnight to each other, Harry flicked off the bedside lamp and you both rolled to your respective edges of the bed, a large space of no mans land between you. In the middle. You know the first time you share a room with someone and you overthink everything? When you don’t want to move about or fidget too much in case it disturbs the other? When your listening intently to their breathing, in the hope it’ll even out and only then will you feel able to fall asleep yourself? 

Well it doesn’t work when both of you are doing it. When both of you are professional over thinkers. 

God knows how long it took till you gave up, favouring sleep over your worries and concerns. So you flipped over, no doubt rocking the whole bed, turning to face his back that was still huddled almost teetering off the edge of the bed. The only light within the whole room was that coming under the actually scarily large gap between the floor and the door to the hallway. It was just enough to see the back of Harry’s curls and you must’ve fallen asleep trying to trace all the torturous and windy routes of the strands.

///////////

In the morning the process of waking up didn’t come easy to you as normal for many reasons; the long day prior; the jet lag; the weird surroundings. So you stayed in this sort of blissful haze for probably longer than you should. Half aware but not really; half asleep but not quite. In the middle  of sleep and alertness. Therefore it took you longer than it should have to notice the extra weight on the dip of your waist. Not anything alarming, just a presence you were absolutely not used to. It was only when you shifted a bit to lie further on your back, that enough of a stimulus from the added pressure made you actually open your eyes blearily. And sure enough, a limp hand looked to have casually and unconsciously been thrown over your side. 

As if in slow motion, you traced the arm backwards - first with your eyes, but then having to twist your neck too. Only then could you fully see the browny ginger haired boy who was lowkey spooning you? It was certainly a way to fully wake you up, breath halted to a stand still in your lungs, in fear of disturbing him and having to confront what would almost certainly be an awkward situation. 

There was still a safe hands width distance between the two of you except for the rogue arm. Harry’s head was placed to the edge of his pillow, mouth slightly parted as his breathing slightly tickled the wispy hairs on the back of your neck. He looked so peaceful and calm - a difference to the normal Harry who, even on a good day, took great pleasure in meticulously picking things apart and being a bit cynical. It was part of his ‘charm’; but seeing him like this was a type of vulnerability he rarely chose to show. 

To be fair he was asleep, he dint realise he was exposing himself in this way.

Finding yourself a little transfixed (a bit creepy but hey) on the natural curves and definition of his face, you ever so carefully rolled over in the bed to face him. It stopped you from craning your neck and gave the sleepy boy a slight nudge, making him tense his arm a little more tightly round you. 

He settled quickly though, giving you ample opportunity to just observe what was going on . Both right in front of you… and what the hell was going on in your head. Because to be honest it was an overwhelming amount of emotion thoughts for the early morning. 

Somehow you must’ve eventually drifted off once again because the next thing you were aware of was a shuffling from immediately next to you. This time though, you were instantly aware of exactly the situation you found yourself in and chose to keep up the pretence of sleep - a little interested in how Harry would play it. 

You heard a small gasp, having to suppress a chuckle at what you imagined Harry’s sleepy and panicked face looked like. That lasted a couple of moments, before you felt him painstakingly slowly peel his hand from your waist and if you were being 100% honest… you heart sort of sank. 

What you had been expecting?- you don’t know and really there was really no reason to be disappointed. Yet, you still felt this deflated and disappointed feeling, hit your chest especially hard. Perhaps it was because of your focus on that emptyness that you forgot you were supposed to be pretending to be asleep./.

Because when he had delicately brushed the side of your face to tuck a rogue bit of hair behind your ear - your eyes flickered open.  Like a rabbit caught in headlights, Harry froze, his hand still hovering over your jaw. Equally, you didn’t know what to do. Because really… do friends tuck hair behind the others ears? And do friends look at each other with this matched expression of confusion and fear? 

It took a painfully long time (though in reality was probably only a matter of seconds) before the boy retracted his hand, suddenly sitting up from his reclined position down at you. Mirroring his actions, you both ended up sitting, facing the opposite wall, bodies closer than they needed to be in the double bed. Both still very much in the middle. 

“I er-“

“-No no don’t… was nice of you” He had been about to apologise which you didn’t want to hear. You didn’t want to hear ‘ I didn’t mean it’ - you wanted him to mean it. In response Harry nodded jerkily, and from your peripheries, noticed he was searching your face for any sign of emotion.

“Still can’t believe this all happened… I-I didn’t disturb you too much did I?” He sounded really nervous. You were never like this with each other. So static and forced. 

“No no… I slept really good actually.” Your register was quieter, waiting till you’d finished speaking before looking over at him with a self conscious smile. 

“Ah I’m glad… I um-I did too.” The silence returned and the atmosphere just felt sharp. It felt like you were quite literally walking either side of a knife edge. It made you chew on your bottom lip, playing with the slightly frayed edges of the vintage quilt. 

“Y/n- I look…” He’d bolted upright and voice was more raised than normal for the morning. “This is gonna sound so fucking weird, especially cos we’re literally in the same bed but... but I was thinking we could maybe go on a hike or something together?” What he seemed to be suggesting didn’t match the level of panic that was conveyed in his body language which confused you. And what the bed had to do with it… was yet to make sense in your head. 

“I think Andrew said we’re getting some tour of island this afternoon so-“

“ I kinda meant just you and me.” 

The penny dropped and it had you focusing all energy on processing what was happening - understandably causing Harry to only worry more with the lack of response. “I’m sorry if I’ve ruined ever-“

“No I-I….I’d really like that too.”

“Oh er… well… really?” The sheer shock made you giggle, feeling the two of you sliding back into the normal dynamic.

“Normally a boy has to buy me a drink before he gets in my bed but….” A mischevious smirk that spread across your lips gave Harry the final confirmation that just maybe you were interested too, making him scoff and quietly chuckle.

It was odd; mainly because this was the two of you being incredibly vulnerable and honest with each other - something that you hadn’t allowed yourself to be for fear of messing things up. And then one lazy morning, both with morning breath and slightly puffy eyes, it changed. For the first time when you looked at him, he really saw - and vice versa. You were still in the middle of something, yet it was completely different. 

This time you were in the middle together figuratively as well as literally. In the middle of the bed, closer than you needed to be, but not wanting to retreat - while you both just looked shyly and bashfully at each… Eventually you lips hesitantly met in the middle. 

[cor-ardens-archive]

hey mari have you ever seen Do Começo ao Fim? I'm not sure if it's 100% your style but i saw it years ago and, well, it sure was a gay incest movie. thoughts if you have seen it?

I HAVE and I actually have so much to say about this movie. You asked for this...

[CW for discussions of incest, of course.]

[This is long. Spoiler: I didn’t like it.]

Mostly I did not enjoy it at all, and it felt really off to me the way it just... glosses over the incest? For a movie that is supposedly about an incestuous relationship there was very little conflict about it, which is a choice I do not understand. I’m about to be a little harsh, so I’ll say what I did like about it first. So, the good: Júlia Lemmertz did a fine job as their mother, and their relationship with her is quite beautiful. The actors who play Francisco and Tomaz aren’t very good, but they do have chemistry together, and the love between them was evident in the way they talked, touched and looked at one another - although to be honest, that got very weird and cheesy too (I cringed every time Francisco said “irmãozinho”). Other than that, it was just bland, and I didn't think about it for years.

But then, years later, I read The Carnivorous Lamb by Agustín Gómez-Arcos, which is also about a gay incestuous relationship between two brothers, only it's set in Spain, and the whole thing is an extremely obvious metaphor for the civil war. There are a lot of similarities that made me think Do Começo Ao Fim was inspired by this book, but what really sealed it for me is that in The Carnivorous Lamb, Ignacio, the younger brother, is born with his eyes closed and remains that way for sixteen days:

“Sixteen days!” she exclaimed. “Can you believe it? He waited sixteen days to open his eyes! We were all standing around his cradle, and do you know what he did? Without hesitating, he looked straight at his brother, staring at him as if he were trying to hypnotize him. My dear, you can’t imagine how upset I was. Never, but never, will I forget those eyes, opening to the light for the first time, already full of shadows picked up God knows where. What infernal whirlwind was he riding during those sixteen days of my torment? What brought him to such a state? I never knew. He never looked at me. Or at his father either. His unblinking eyes were still locked on his brother’s.

[...]

So on the sixteenth day after my birth, I opened my eyes and unhesitatingly looked straight at my brother Antonio.

The exact same thing happens to Tomaz in Do Começo Ao Fim - he's born with his eyes closed and remains that way for weeks until he opens them and looks straight at his brother. There's a major difference, though, in how their mothers react. In The Carnivorous Lamb, the mother is selfish and oppressive. She makes a spectacle of her son's blindness, and is extremely disappointed when he opens his eyes because it ruins her plans of turning herself into some kind of martyr. In fact, she resents Ignacio for everything from the moment he is born, perhaps because she already senses they're the same.

In Do Começo Ao Fim, Tomaz's mother is not at all worried about his closed eyes because she knows he'll open them when he's ready. Tomaz says that's how he learned free will, which also puts him in direct opposition to Ignacio, who spends his childhood locked inside his own home and who never develops a sense of self outside of his relationship with his brother. Whereas in The Carnivorous Lamb incest is the product of a dysfunctional, abusive and unhappy family life, it’s framed as something natural and even healthy in Do Começo Ao Fim.

Of course, the movie is not an adaptation of Gómez-Arcos’s book, it’s just somewhat inspired by it. But it invited the comparison, and I think it’s curious how absolutely different they are, and how much the contrast sheds light in the blandness of the film.

The Carnivorous Lamb is theatrical to point of being ridiculous - entirely on purpose, because the characters know they’re playing their parts in a spectacle. Do Começo Ao Fim is also ridiculous, but I don’t think it’s on purpose, and it has nothing to say - and yet it manages to be preachy, what with the terrible, pointless voice-over of Tomaz telling us the themes of the movie, like “This is how I learned free will” and “I’ll never let them lock us in a cage”. Geez.

But for all that, it almost entirely skirts around the issue of incest. In fact, it doesn’t feel a narrative of incest at all, because that’s never a source of conflict. Not only Tomaz and Francisco happy together, they seem to be in a very healthy relationship, and everyone in their life loves and supports them. They even get their mother’s blessing (who is like a divine figure for them, so it’s like God is saying it’s all fine).

I suppose that’s because incest in this movie is a romantic fantasy and not reflective of how sibling incest actually happens in real life. But even then, it doesn’t actually explore, like, the consequences of violating this taboo out of love. It doesn’t explore anything, because there’s never any real conflict. Everything is bland, uninteresting, out of touch and sanitized to death, which is actually what I find most offensive about it.

It’s not just the fact of the incest, the film just refuses to deal with anything, which means there’s barely a story. The major conflict in the movie is that Tomaz and Francisco are going to need to spend some time apart in different countries because of their respective careers. This is understandably difficult for them because they haven’t spent any time apart since Tomaz was born. However, they quickly and efficiently solve this issue by communicating with each other with love and respect, making the choice together, parting ways and eventually reuniting. So even though everything points to a codependent relationship, they’re actually able to solve their problem like any normal, healthy couple would, because the writer hates me personally and doesn’t want to make anything even remotely interesting.

It’s a very curious movie in that way, because it’s like the writer was trying very hard to not tell a story. And he succeeded.

(Also, it’s interesting that you’ve seen this movie, I actually don’t know anyone else who has, except my mom. She also didn’t like it, she said it was boring.)

[zillennial97]

Friends to Lovers | Larry Fanfic Recs

Hiding Place by alivingfire | 365k | Explicit

Louis never wanted a soulmate, didn’t really care for the whole Bonding thing at all, really. Enter Harry Styles, who’s wanted to be Bonded for as long as he could remember. With one fateful meeting in an X Factor bathroom, Louis gets a dagger on his arm and the realization that just because Harry is his soulmate doesn’t mean it’s mutual.

From the X Factor house to Madison Square Garden, from the Fountain Studios stage to stadiums across the world, Louis has to learn to love without losing himself completely, because someday his best friend will Bond to someone and replace Louis as the center of his universe. Meanwhile, Harry begins to think that maybe fate doesn’t actually know what it’s doing after all, because his other half has clearly been right in front of him the whole time. All he has to do now is convince Louis to give them a chance.

Or, the canon compliant Harry and Louis love story from the very beginning, where the only difference is that the love between them is literally written on their skin, and there’s only so much they can hide.

And Then a Bit by infinitelymint | 158k | Explicit

“We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”

Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts.

(aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

Wild Love by purpledaisy | 130k | Explicit

“Good,” Julia says, clearly pleased to have them both uncomfortable and unable to look at each other. “Now, I only have one more question before you can go. What are you planning to do when this experiment ruins your friendship?”

“We said we’d stay friends no matter what,” Harry says smoothly, his chin lifting in defense.

“That was our one thing going into it,” Louis agrees. “Stay friends no matter what.”

Julia raises a perfectly manicured brow, “That’s all fine and good. But I hope you realize your emotions aren’t going to realize this is an experiment in the end. If one of you falls for the other and finds out those feelings are not reciprocated, you’re not going to be able to laugh it off as a social experiment. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do this, I’m just hoping you’ve considered all of the possible outcomes.”

- AU: Two best friends try to date each other for forty days. It's supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated.

California Sold by isthatyoularry | 123k | Mature

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

Tired Tired Sea by MediaWhore | 113k | Mature

As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

Like a Bullet in the Dark by Vurdoc | 99k | Explicit

Prince Harold Edward Styles Lancaster is second in line to the throne of Great Britain. He is also your average Uni student- or he tries to be, anyway.

With a promise from the press (and his father) that they'll leave him alone for four years, he sets out to be a student at Cambridge, when he meets his very normal, very working class, very handsome suite-mate, Louis Tomlinson.

Louis makes Harry feel more like a person than he ever has before, which might cause some issues later on- 'cause Harry has a secret that he's only told his sister Gemma about.

Little does he know though, that Louis has some secrets of his own.

A Will & Kate Au- with a twist.

Christmas-ing With You by dolce_piccante | 65k | Mature

Two writers from Loving Heart Television, the premiere network for holiday romance films, find that, sometimes, love is not only in their works of fiction.

Faking It by TheCellarDoor | 46k | Mature

A uni AU in which Louis has been Harry’s best friend since he offered him cubed fruit on the playground, and they spend more time cuddling in their dorm beds than they do apart, but it’s not like that. Or is it?

Aka Harry pretends to date his best friend to escape unwanted attention from a too insistent classmate and hopes it won’t blow up in his face. Featuring embarrassing dildo accidents, awkward boners, longing, first times, late night conversations, emotional discoveries and Niall as the exasperated friend with bad advice.

if the sun don't shine by falsegoodnight | 36k | Explicit

Louis finds himself struck frozen, fingers stuck in place where he’s flattened them against the cold railing. It takes every bit of his remaining strength to pull them away, sliding them under his shirt and pressing them to his stomach to leech some of the warmth. He hardly pays attention to the bite of the wind and air on his shivering body. He can only pay attention to the music.

The music that is undoubtedly new to Louis’ ears, yet listening to it is the most familiar thing Louis has ever experienced. An inexplicable rush of emotions flood his mind and body, rendering him speechless and hollow. It’s a call of loneliness. It rings of everything Louis’ been feeling.

And the pure yearning - the intense longing for something and someone - tears through straight to Louis’ heart. The desperation feels all too intimate, all too real. It makes Louis think of what he yearns for more than anything. It makes him think of his soulmate.

-

In a world where you meet your soulmates in dreams, Louis has spent the last three years going to bed hoping to finally meet his, only to end up disappointed time and time again. It all changes with a violin.

From the Start by allwaswell16 | 32k | Explicit

Louis has no idea that one act of kindness will cause his life to spiral out of control. But that's what happens when his new friend fake proposes to him and a video of it goes viral.

Barefoot in Blue Jeans by indiaalphawhiskey | 24k | Explicit

AU. Louis Tomlinson is trying desperately hard not to fall for his son’s au pair, but he can’t, for the life of him, remember why.

475. The hope that this fear is unfounded.

In Dreams by dolce_piccante | 23k | Mature

AU. When Harry moves to a new city, his new flat come with a number of sweet, anonymous gifts and surprises that brighten his days. Could it be a friendly ghost? Another friendly presence in his new building is his tattooed neighbor, Louis, who seems determined to put a smile back on his face.

You're Writing Verses About Me by Rearviewdreamer | 23k | Teen And Up Audiences

Everybody knows that Louis has never been one for serious boyfriends. His reputation around campus precedes him, which is why he doesn't think twice before proudly telling his mother about his new and completely fabricated relationship with his oddly quiet and completely

And I Will Hold On To You by darkmarkburning, staybeautiful | 23k | Mature

“I can’t believe my best friend is about to be Prime Minister of Canada,” Harry whispered in his ear, his arms tight around Louis’ shoulders. “Who decided it was a good idea to let some brash kid from Doncaster run a country?”

“I don’t know,” Louis laughed into his shoulder, “but if you promise not to tell them they’ve made a mistake I’ll give you a posh office.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Tomlinson.” Harry pulled away and smacked a kiss onto Louis’ cheek. “I’m proud of you, Lou, I can’t fucking believe it, but I’m proud of you.”

or Louis has just been elected Prime Minister of Canada and Harry is his best friend since childhood.

the way the storms blow by rbbsbb | 21k | Explicit

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

Autumn At My Window by TheCellarDoor | 20k | Mature

A canon-compliant AU, in which Harry and Louis are both in the band and have been sharing flats and hotel rooms for nearly five years, but never made the leap past 'friends who are too close for comfort'.

Featuring a lot of pining, Louis' addiction to Harry's scent, and a whole lot of sexual tension that might just snap loose when they decide to spend some time together all on their own.

The Sex Methods by Alice_Novelland | 19k | Explicit

Harry and Louis explore alternative methods aka sex methods to help each other out.

once bitten and twice shy by pinkcords | 19k | Mature

This time as his stomach rolls, there’s no doubt about it. He’s going to vomit. And if he does, it’ll be on Louis’ shoes, a nice little parting gift to go with the embarrassment he’s caused the both of them. “I’m gonna throw up,” he says just as Louis turns to look at him, blue eyes swimming with shock and confusion, and asks, “Is that true?”

Or, in a rush of bravery only senior year can bring, Harry confesses his feelings in a letter to his neighbor and best friend, Louis, only for the entire school to hear it and laugh him out of their small town in Wisconsin. Ten years later, Harry's a successful lawyer at Columbia Records, coming home for Christmas for the first time since he departed for college. He plans to work his way through the trip, eat his mom's cooking, and avoid everyone from his past for as long as possible. The only problem is best laid plans hardly ever go as intended.

Oblivious by Speechless | 19k | Explicit

"You say it's nothing serious after you've been obsessing over it for months," Liam observes, pausing their videogame. "But now you barely talk about it-" "You guys fucking ignore me whenever I try!" Louis shouts, bumping his shoulder against Liam's and hurting himself in the process. "You're postponing sex, when it's obvious that Luke's up for it at this point." Liam ignores him. "For some reason you've left Harry in the dark about it-" "What?!" Louis snaps, banging his controller against the coffee table. "I have not!" "And no matter how blatant it is, no matter how fucking ridiculous you both get when it comes to it-" "Shut your hole." Louis urges, pinching his thigh, as soon as Harry enters the room. "Shush."

* Where Louis gets a little crush on Luke and for some reason Harry starts acting weird *

searching for a sweet surrender (but this is not the end) by feelslikehxme | 18k | Teen And Up Audiences

Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles, the two most loved coaches on The Voice UK known for their banter on the show and best friendship off. Louis’s determined to win and finally end Harry’s winning streak with Zayn Malik on his team, but Harry’s flirting and Liam Payne have different plans.

— Or an AU based off the Voice where Louis’s Adam, Harry’s Blake, Niall’s Shakira, Zayn and Liam have a cliche Romeo/Juliet love story and Louis’s too old for pathetic pining.

Can I bother you for a sex? by perfectdagger (sincerelyste) | 16k | Explicit

Reason #40 – Called/texted the wrong person, but he was into it anyway

“So, this isn’t really an invite for a sex, I see,” Louis spoke, not missing the chance. There was a teasing smile on his lips as he turned around to face Harry again after he had just closed the door.

Harry let out a laugh as he closed his eyes and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Oh for fuck's sake, Louis,” he looked back at Louis, “this will haunt me forever now, won’t it?”

Louis shrugged. “Not my fault some people manage to mistext and sext others at the same time.”

When Harry mistexts Louis, Louis realises that he wouldn't mind Harry bothering him with anything, especially not with sex.

You'll Be Home For Christmas by 2tiedships2 | 15k | Not Rated

“Honesty, Lou, just ask Harry for help.”

Louis remained silent as he continued to scowl at the Christmas calendar Niall had hung on their refrigerator.

“And be nice to my calendar filled with holiday cheer,” Niall instructed. “You’re going to burn a fucking hole in it from the way you’re glaring at the innocent thing. It’s not the calendar’s fault that your heat is starting so close to Christmas.”

You're The One That I Want by spacecakesandmilkshakes | 15k | Explicit

Harry had always been Louis' best friend and...well...his baby, until one day he realized that his baby was all grown up.

show you the stars in the daylight by bruisedhoney | 13k | Explicit

Louis laughed, the sound loud and borderline obnoxious. Harry winced. “Are you kidding, Haz? I wouldn’t even look twice at someone that couldn’t pick me up.”

And, well. That was new information to Harry. It’s not like Louis had ever mentioned to him that he was his type in any way, shape, or form. Harry shifted closer into the space between Louis’s legs, even more intrigued than before. “Why not?” he asked curiously, all pink lips and big curls. Louis smiled.

“Tiny, innocent, little Harold. Need someone that can pick me up, don’t I? I like being tossed around a little. You know, pinned down and made to take it. Lifted up like I’m nothing,” Louis said it all with a confident smile, his sharp little teeth tugging at his bottom lip as he locked eyes with the jock across the kitchen. “Think he might come over here. Move over. I don’t want him to think we’re together.”

Or, the one where Louis has a type and at sixteen and scrawy, it's definitely not his best friend's little brother Harry...ten years later, he changes his mind.

when everybody wants you by nightwideopen | 11k | Mature

Harry nearly faints on the spot. He got the job. He’s going to be on Saturday Night Live.

Three of Harry's dreams come true, then one of them falls apart.

or

the SNL au that no one asked for

Shape of You by Only_angel_28 | 11k | Explicit

“Seriously?” Surely, Harry must be joking. Louis arches a skeptical brow and snaps the waistband of Harry’s joggers playfully. “What exactly do you have down there, Styles? I know you’ve got four nipples, d’ya have a couple extra bollocks as well or summat?”

“No!” Harry shrieks, his voice bordering on shrill. “No,” He repeats a little quieter, calmer, “I just—I’m, er, kinda…big, I guess.”

Louis rolls his eyes in fond exasperation. “That’s hardly a problem, curly.”

*Or Harry is insecure about a certain rather large part of his anatomy that is apparently intimidating to the point where it has actually scared off potential shags. When he ends up confessing this to his best friend and roommate, Louis takes it upon himself to prove that Harry’s size doesn't have to be a curse, and decides to help show him just how perfect he is.

Waiting by allwaswell16 for LadyLondonderry | 10k | Explicit

Louis Tomlinson was Harry’s omega, of this Harry had always been sure. Unfortunately for Harry, Louis seemed to think they were just best friends. The six weeks that Harry has to live with Louis were going to be rough.

You Give Me Fever (What A Lovely Way To Burn) by my_fandom_OTPs | 10k | Explicit

Louis walks in on Harry jerking off in the shower. What happens after is just… Impulsive and spontaneous.

the value of this moment lives in metaphor by clicheanna for hattalove | 10k | Teen And Up Audiences

Louis and Harry are best friends and absolutely nothing more. It’s a bit strange that, suddenly, everyone thinks they’re dating.

Or the one where they’re all teachers at a high school and students are more invested in their lives than normally expected.

trusting things beyond mistake by sarcasticfluentry | 9k | Explicit

"Is that even possible?" asks Harry.

All of them stare at him for several seconds, and then Louis says, "What, coming untouched?"

"Christ," Zayn mutters, throwing his hands up. “This fucking band, I swear.”

...or, Harry wants to see if he can come without touching his cock and ends up getting more than he bargained for.

And I Will Steady Your Hand by kiwikero | 9k | Explicit

All first year university students who had not yet presented were strongly advised to join the Fire Away meetings, a support group for so-called 'late bloomers.'

They were not, however, advised to fall in love with someone else at the meetings without knowing what they might eventually present as.

A Christmas Wish by Snowy38 | 8k | Mature

"So when are you going to tell him?"

Louis pursed his lips at his sister, his Skype video call relaying his thoughts on that subject perfectly.

"Next question," he mused.

Lottie rolled her eyes.

"It's your birthday in four days, Louis."

"What difference does that make?" He scoffed.

She shrugged.

"You can get drunk and confess how you feel and take it back afterwards if he doesn't feel the same."

That might work if Louis wasn't in love with Harry. But Lottie didn't know that and she didn't need to find out.

"Thanks Lots," he said anyway.

"Seriously Lou what's stopping you?"

Louis sighed.

"Fear mostly."

Under that Damn Mistletoe by hickeystyles | 7k | Mature

Louis' heart froze when he looked over and saw Liam whispering in Harry’s ear and nodding towards the mistletoe. Louis’ eyes widened comically before he dove out of sight so Harry couldn’t see him standing under the mistletoe like an idiot, or worse, like he was part of Liam’s plan to have Harry kiss him.

Or a Christmas Party AU where Louis is in love with his best friend Harry and everyone else is trying to force the two of them under the mistletoe together

We Could Be A Dream by Bearandleonardwrite | 7k | Explicit

“So, I’ve never seen you at one of these parties before,” Harry says as he hands Louis his drink. “Who’re you here for?”

Well, shit. Louis was definitely not expecting that. He sips on his drink to give him a few moments to think of an answer and then, “Oh, y’know. I’m dating the host’s brother. What about you?” He’s quite pleased with himself. Great answer. He takes another drink as a reward.

Harry grins at him, eyes bright, and shrugs. “Gemma’s my sister.” Louis hums around the rim of his cup waiting for him to elaborate. “She’s the host,” he tacks on, smug smile on his face. Louis chokes on his drink and tries his best to glare at Harry while he coughs. Harry rubs at his back until he can breathe properly again, which is actually really not that helpful. “Didn’t realize we were dating, Lou. I’m flattered.”

(Basically; Louis meets Harry at a party that he wasn't invited to. He ends up asking Harry to tutor him so he can keep seeing him. Featuring a bit of pining and a tea party.)

Mission Fucking Impossible by orphan_account | 7k | Mature

“Are you and Louis fucking?”

Harry nearly spits out his drink as he tries to communicate a "what the ever living fuck" to Niall with his eyes.

Niall takes another casual sip of his beer “Not like I’m the only one thinking it mate, I’m just the only one saying it out loud.”

- Harry is in love with Louis, and he is almost positive Louis is in love with him too. Naturally, Harry deals with this by trying to get Louis horny and hope for the best.

Things don't exactly work out how he plans.

One day to believe in you by mediaville | 7k | Explicit

A mysterious force compels Louis to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Even when it's really inconvenient.

Harry blinks and has the nerve to look surprised. "You think about me when you get off?"

"Yes," Louis says. He wonders how hard he'd need to punch himself in the face to knock himself out.

"Often?"

"Yes, Christ, Harry," Louis groans. "Probably eight times a week for going on six years now. On average, you know. More when we were touring, less when I've been visiting family. Anything else you'd like to know?"

Fake It Till We Make It by whileatwiltshire | 7k | General Audiences

#33- Keeping up with the Neighbors

“We can fake it.”

What?

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“No I did not. Say it again.”

“I said” Harry started slowly, “We can fake having sex to teach them a lesson.”

It was clear to say that Louis's mouth went a little dry at the suggestion.

Or ,

Their neighbours were a bit too loud during their bedroom activities and Harry comes up with the worst plan to shut them up. Louis agrees anyways.

Web Me Harder by iwillpaintasongforlou | 6k | Explicit

Louis Tomlinson, otherwise known as London's masked hero Spiderman, finds himself crashing through the window of Harry Styles one night after a particularly nasty fight with a villain. Luckily Harry is a nursing student with a soft spot for caped crusaders who's more than happy to tend to all of Louis' wounds, no matter how many times he swings by.

candy in your mouth (i know you love me) by embodied | 6k | Explicit

“You’re wrong,” Harry says, jaw clenched tight. “Because if all I wanted was a fuck, I’ve got at least three willing parties a phone call and a five minute drive away. What I want is you. I want us, I want it to be normal again -”

“What the fuck is normal?” Louis yells, much too loudly, and has to pause to consciously lower his voice before he speaks again. “Because a year ago, normal was eating too much takeaway and watching B-movies on Netflix in your room, and then normal was me choking on your cock at half past two in the morning, and I don’t know about you, but as of the past few weeks, normal is not seeing or talking to you at all, because I’ve all but admitted that I’m fucking crazy for you and you don’t know what to say to that.” Louis’ chest heaves, his breath coming out short. He hears his own throat stick when he swallows, and his voice is decidedly weaker when he asks, “So which one is it, Harry?”

AU. Things have shifted since last Christmas.

Running Through a Cloud of Steam by allwaswell16 | 5k | Mature

As Harry’s long anticipated twenty-first birthday approaches, he anxiously awaits the moment when he finally meets his soulmate. He’s not even sure he believes in soulmates, but at the very least, he hopes to prove to his best friend that nothing can come between their friendship--not even a soulmate.

You Can't Blame Me For Tryin' by lululawrence | 5k | Mature

Reason # 38 - Because He Is From One of the Countries You Haven't Had Sex With a Person From Yet.

Louis had been accepted into the study abroad program through his uni back home and therefore got to spend a year in rural Minnesota, of all places, but he wasn’t going to complain. It was still a pretty cool experience, even if it was far different from what he had been expecting. And besides, if he’d been sent to literally any other university, he’d never have met Harry.

If It's Meant To Be (It'll Be, It'll Be) by lululawrence | 4k | Not Rated

“So, anyway. I’m done here and on my way to the airport. I think I’m expected to be there in the morning, around ten. I’ll let you know when I’m getting close.”

“Sounds good.” Harry pulled back from the window and threw himself onto one of the beds. Once he got comfortable, he steeled himself and then went for it. “It’s been too long this time, Lou,” he finally whispered. He watched as Louis bit his lip and nodded slowly.

“I know,” Louis agreed, just as quiet in return. “We have to swear to never go this long without seeing each other again. Two months is just...unacceptable. I’m gonna go now, but I’ll see you soon. ‘Kay?”

“Yeah. See you. Be safe,” Harry said, far too fondly for his best friend. He couldn’t help it though. It was how he always had been and probably always would be.

They hung up and Harry threw his arm over his face.

“I am so in love with him,” he whined to himself. “Fuck.”

Satisfaction by iwillpaintasongforlou | 2k | Teen And Up Audiences

Louis and Harry have known each other since before they could remember and been in love with one another for about as long, even though both steadfastly refuse to admit it. When Louis starts dating other people, it is only to help himself move on and not at all to make Harry jealous. And the sulking sort of anger Harry feels when he watches Louis kiss other people is completely irrelevant anyways.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review (ch 90-91)

Since I discussed the first few pages of ch-90 that contains kyo & tohru in my previous preview, this one will only be kyoko’s story.

Kyoko’s story brilliantly explores the effects of unhealthy domestic environment on children without the use of the zodiac curse as a metaphor for abuse. My first-reaction of kyoko’s story is the following:

I really enjoyed how kyoko’s descend into darkness was explored & how the psychologically-informed writing of her behavior was depicted.

I was troubled by how Katsuya was presented as the magical solution to all her problems. Kyoko was saved by romantic love in a more basic writing than machi. Both girls just needed a guy to listen to them vent abt their family issues once & tada~ they’re in love.

Kyoko’s story made me realize that Arisa is just a more modern & healthier kyoko.. The only difference is that Kureno didn’t save Arisa. She herself changed gradually due to kyoko & tohru’s influence.

1) Kyoko’s descend into Darkness:

Kyokyo told kyo that she was already “out of control delinquent before she got to middle school”, “ fell into the wrong crowd”, “ enjoyed beating innocent ppl”. subtly citing the influence of “delinquent peers” & the innate desire be noticed at home. I’m bad, notice me! love me, listen to me!

There are some elements in her story that faintly reminds me of yuki & strongly reminds me of kyo:

Kyoko’s parents gave her a treatment similar to “ yuki’s parents”: cold, neglect & devoid of love. Her dad, similar to kyo’s dad, felt ashamed & disgraced by her.

Kyoko similarly to kyo was angry, full of self-loath & self-destruction. However, kyo was never violent like she was. I believe kyo’d have turned like her if he didn’t have Kazuma to discipline him with love, care & attention. Hence, we saw kyo carry on a code of “ not beating girls, or ppl who aren’t hurting them, or don’t know martial arts”, like Arisa or the student council guy whop loves yuki.

Kyoko’s mom similarly of kyo’s mom talked abt the dad venting his anger on her after being pissed off with kyoko. So, a hint of domestic violence between husband & wife.

Kyoko described herself as “ made of shattered glass”. Tohru once said both kyo & yuki are very sensitive. yuki blocks the world behind the prince mask & kyo puts on the annoyed attitude to push ppl away from hurting him.

Society thinks that “delinquent/bad ppl” are always happy with what they’ve become. Satisfied with their destructive choices. When in most of the times... they’re as bewildered & confused as the community around them..

I really don’t blame the teachers for being defensive. Teachers aren’t supposed to be “life-coaches” or “saviors of students”. That’s sth the educators with their research gush abt & what society demands & what families wish for. The fixer-teacher!!!! Teachers are ppl teaching a subject, doing a specific job, underpaid & overworked most of the times, also, they come from various backgrounds, beliefs, & sometimes even if they meant good & wanted to “ save” a student, they aren’t equipped with the suitable psychological training. Yeah, there are ppl for that in schools, but so many students with lots of issues. Also, let’s be real, we love kyoko cuz she’s the “epic mother of tohru, we grew on her teachings thro out 3 seasons” but if you meet a loud, delinquent, gangster head, violent chair throwing student who rarely comes anyway, would you wanna deal with them?

2- Katsuya “ the magical savior”:

so, why did teacher katsuya helped a screaming delinquent? cuz he IS interested in kyoko. He said so. He approached her, talked & tried to help cuz he intended to “never let her go since he saw her honesty” ~ romantic? maybe to some.. I find it weird & creepy. him eyeing her & getting interested & approaching her & earning her trust. It is true that he has no intention of hurting her or forcing her & he DID save her in more ways than one. But why is this all wrapped in romance. He DID flirt with her intentionally many times from the moment he saw her until then.

If Im being honest, had he not be her teacher (trainee or not), & had she not be very veeeeery young! I’d be enjoying his flirting so much. He’s so smooth, playful & cool (not looking head over heels in love) which is normally such a fun dynamics. She was so head over heels, tho. Finally found someone who noticed her tiny efforts “ drawing eyebrows”, someone who listened & someone who didn’t forced her to do her “duties”. She tells him (her teacher) that she is ditching classes & he’s okay with that~ not lecturing, not urging. why? cuz He only wants HER. she comes to see him in the lunch break everyday. school? classes? that’s her choice~ not his business~ In a way, Katsuya is intentionally made not morally correct. Why? cuz a good moral adult wouldn’t be in love with a middle schooler & would care for her future as an independent person from him. He must be written with intentional desire to NOT care for morals or right or the likes. Yes, he later helps her to study & graduate but ONLY when that is HER choice & she made it ONLY to catch up with him. To cleanse herself & be “ like the other girls” . Kyoko deemed katsuya “ good person” &  herself “ bad person”. That’s why she was motivated to be good to catch up with him since she can NO LONGER see him everyday in lunch break. He fixed that. How? teach her in the weekends & provide better chances to flirt since he’s no longer a teacher & she’s his student. The issue is not teacher-student love... it is adult-kid love!! but hey~ they’re cute (they’re written to be, so they are) so it’s cool ( it isn’t at all..eww).. oh the dilemma that is Takaya-san’s love for weird big age gaps where one is an underage teenager...

Furuba’s has this big theme of “ love doesn’t heal or save”. yuki took tohru’s love & grew up by himself. Kyo’s love for tohru didn’t save tohru, she was scared to be in love & forget her mom. Tohru made the decision to be free from her past, herself.  Tohru’s love to kyo made his trauma 10 times more complicated & he acted based on his love for her & decided to leave her. It wasnt until he decided to face his trauma, past & bio dad by himself, that he accepted tohru’s love. Only two characters were totally saved by love:

Machi: has the excuse of being solely created to be yuki’s reward for acknowledging platonic love for tohru & everything abt her is rushed & made as a lighter copy of all yuki’s issues to quickly create shared grounds for them to connect. Machi needed to vent her issues to yuki once & all her issues were never brought back to the service again. She was happier, calmer & healed.

I expected more for kyoko. She IS a bigger character than half of the zodiacs! but she just needed katsuya to listen to her & she was in love & her issues solved.

I don’t deny that it IS true that sometimes all we need is someone to listen to us. Tohru herself said so & even yuki said it to kyo. But Even if someone listen to us & we love them, the issues that troubled us dont magically disappear until we face them or do sth abt them aided by those who love us. Kyo’s issues remained even with his love until he faced them, tohru’s too!

Katsuya:

had off-screen issues with expressing himself. He said that he loved kyoko cuz she was “honest abt her ugly feelings” while he pretended to “humor & please his dad”. He gave a wonderful speech to her parents abt the expectations of parents on their kids & the refusal of their “human weakness” again furuba’s main vision. Unfortunately, this was followed with confessing, marriage proposal & kissing her on the lips all while the whole issue is abt kids/ parents exceptions of middle schooler/ neglect & his own acknowledgement that she’s minor while he was “in love”.

Like the author wants to tie kyoko’s issues & katsuya’s issues so bad & present him as her ONLY chance for normal life. Kyoko was just repenting & understanding that her actions got consequences which is an epic moment! but romance triumphant & saved the day~ yay~! marriage!

The story would’ve been better romantically if it was given time for kyoko to “ grow up” just like katsuya himself said when they were at the beach. He said “ grow up, middle school is not the world”. He continued meeting her but never confessed & never crossed the line despite the flirting. But he KNEW what he was doing “ i never planned to let you go since I saw you”. He was cementing his place as the ONLY one in her world.

Had kyoko grew up, saw the real world, kept taps with katsuya, he helped her broaden her world, then they’ll marry without needing her dad to sign papers, then that would be a better love story than this.

Side Notes:

The writer didn’t shy away from confessing that pairing Katsuya & kyoko is problematic & stated it in canon (kyoko called katsuya “pedo”). She did the same with Arisa & kureno (Arisa thought the age gap is big & hana questioned if kureno is a married man). However, making the story acknowledge that as an issues doesn’t make it less uncomfortable, but at least, I respect when writers do what they plan to do regardless of fans. even if I dont agree with the writer. It’s way better than when writer becoming fans toy/ fans pleaser.

Still, couldn’t the author state that kyoko was held back few years in jmiddle school & failed & repeated school years? like make her i duno 17 or sth... this would at least lessen the big age gap... but no~~~ kyoko is what? 14? ... -_-’.

You bet this won’t change a bit in the upcoming anime spinoff abt kyoko. Just this year an anime abt an adult man & his high school love interest that he pursued stubbornly was highly popular & my real life friends were gushing abt “ him finally winning her/ being respectful & only kissing her lips once or sth/waiting for her to “catch up” with him”/ consent age differ in X & Y countries..I’m not dictating my beliefs on anybody or any country or saying my way of thinking is the just way. I’m saying, Personally, I think, there are better romantic stories than adults & kids couples.. The fact that this trope of (adults & kids romance) is still popular even today is sad~~

I dont mind HUGE age gaps as long as BOTH characters are adults. If any of them makes a crime, they’ll be held responsible by the law. & sometimes the younger adult is the one dominating the relationship. but “kids or teenagers” can’t. They’re easily groomed & manipulated, so it bothers me when a love story between an adult & a kid is portrayed as  “equal”. it isn’t.

I’m not judging whoever loves such trope in “ fiction”. it IS fiction, & as long as you don't pursue a real kid/teenager in real life, you can like whatever in fiction. moving on~

kyoko’s delinquent life is well-written & if done right, would send a powerful message of being able to start over. But the romantic love aspect will steal the spotlight by (a) directing uncomfortable hate/disgust towards the story & hence all the discussions will abt the “pedo” aspect. (which is fair). (b) Perceived as so lovable romance since katsuya is the prince who to saved the neglected princess which is a trope that has stood thro time garnering lots of support & attention always, so all the discussion would be abt their “cute romance”. (which is fair since the author weaved elements that endeared their romance, such as: cute nicknames “miss no-eyebrows”, him giving her space, home & respect, saving her from the streets & poverty & having the most endearing tohru”. So, yeah, the romance will be the center of attention regardless.

I like katsuya’s character type in fiction generally: the flirty, mischievous & a bit cool guy who is so aware he’s wrong most times & plays his cards smart to not get caught red-handed. He’s a cooler version of shigure. It’s just the blatant fact that he’s been planning to “get” a middle schooler from the first glance & that she is wayyyy young for this, that is bothering me so so much~~ T_T.

I wont expect the anime to change their age gap cuz it is the essence of their story that she’s a lost kid with no protection against the world & he’s the savior providing everything at once!~ Remember kyoko went on to be the savior of an entire clan tho tohru~ So in a way, katsuya saved the sohmas by saving kyoko....

“ i’m like a stray cat that he looked after instead of chasing away”. kyoko with katsuya is like kyo with kazuma! >_<!. When kyo met tohru, he wasn’t a stray cat, most of how he dealt with her was cuz he already knew her & was tormented by remembering kyoko’s death & feeling guilty towards tohru’s constant pain. That’s why when kyo started falling in love with tohru, he unconsciously stopped pushing her away little by little & just wanted to be with her until akito said “ i’ll hurt her” that’s when he totally gave up.

the way katsiya appeared in the right moment to save kyoko from her dad~ oh the drama. XD

Hospital Discharge & chase. like mom like daughter~ but thank God the kids got a more balanced love story.

Comparing kyoko/katsuya to Arisa/kureno in the broad writing of their romance without diving into details: (a) I hate the age gap in both but at least Arisa is older & nothing happened until she graduates & become an official adult. (b) Kyoko/katsuya are more fleshed out & if you forget the age gap,m their dynamic is so cute & endearing. (c) the love at first glance, never meeting afterwards yet still sickly in love to the extinct of screaming made Arisa/kureno shallower. (d) now that I saw teenage kyoko, Arisa is really just her clone! I hate that this steals from Arisa’s uniqueness. (e) both couples ate ramen in their first meeting/first unofficial date signalling their blooming love.

I’ve said this more than once, but I was the high-schooler that fancied adult independent men growing up, I never pursued anyone tho cuz I understood it was a crush even tho I’m pretty sure my “ *_*” face was clear to one or two, but I’m definitely lucky none of them tried to woo me or influence me. Now that I’m a grown woman, I think back & laugh at my self. I fancied them cuz they were independent & mature compared to the silly high school boys, which is what those men are supposed to be (adults) & what those boys are supposed to be (living their young age). lol. Still, I wish I found someone somehow to be my life’s partner since then, it would’ve made my life less lonely~ T_T.

[beewolfwrites]

And When I am Formulated, Sprawling on a Pin - Chapter Nine: Hunting Season

Sorry for the later than usual update! I personally didn’t like writing this chapter for a variety of reasons (having to use street view on google maps to explore an entire park was one of them). But I hope you enjoy it :) 

As usual, the AO3 link is here. And for those who are new here, this is a Chishiya x OC/reader fic :) 

-----------------------------------------------

The car ride to the game wasn’t ideal. As a group of six people, there wasn’t quite enough room for everyone in the five-seater car. And the result? I was squished in the middle seat at the back, with Chishiya on one side and a couple making out on the other. A woman was sitting on her boyfriend’s lap, their hands roaming freely in the cramped space.

Chishiya paid no attention to them as he rested his head against the window. Personally, I didn’t know where to look. If I kept my head forward, the sight of the road zooming ahead left me feeling queasy. I couldn’t exactly turn to my left and stare openly at the couple. And I definitely couldn’t stare at Chishiya. It was already weird enough that we were crushed up against each other. I could feel his warmth seeping into my skin, the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. Somehow, they reminded me that he was real. Cold but human. I found myself wanting to slide even closer.

When did I start feeling comforted by his presence?

It was a thought that scared me, and I must’ve stiffened in my seat because Chishiya suddenly turned to me. I could see him trying to figure out what was wrong, and so I smiled at him innocently. He was either unconvinced, or he no longer cared, because he returned his gaze to the window.

Needless to say, it was a long, long car ride.

----------------------------------------------------

When the car finally stopped, we were outside the Shinjuku Gyoen National Park, near the Sendagaya gate. Pasted to the windows of the gate office was a white sign.

GAME.

‘Come on,’ Chishiya said as he stepped out of the car.

I joined him, sticking closely by his side as our group passed through the gate. And with the bleep of the lasers, our fate was sealed.

The park seemed to be hesitating somewhere between half-asleep and on the verge of life. Aside from the trudge of our footsteps and the rustle of branches, the place was silent. The path ahead shone grey under the moonlight, and on either side of the path pockets of darkness lurked between trees. I wasn’t sure which was worse, the darkness beneath the foliage, or the exposure of the open flat land just off the path.

We followed the signs that dotted the way, leading us across the bridge over the Nakano-Ike. The water breathed with pond life and the trill of crickets. If not for the game, I would have liked to linger and enjoy the views. As we passed beneath a low-hanging tree, I reached up with one hand and brushed my fingers against the leaves.

The movement caught Chishiya’s eye, and he peered over his shoulder.

‘What?’

As I spoke, a few members of our group jumped, only to mutter and continue walking.

Chishiya, on the other hand, looked at me like I was a misbehaving child. ‘You have a leaf in your hair.’

I combed my fingers through, trying to find it. ‘Where is it?’ When he didn’t reply, I brushed at my hair even further.

‘Idiot,’ Chishiya said.

So he was just joking. What is he, five?

We followed the path along the edge of the Nakano-Ike until we reached the Central Rest House. The entire outdoor seating area was illuminated, and I was surprised to see nine other people, some sitting on picnic chairs, others leaning against the walls. One man was inspecting the empty food stall. On one of the picnic tables was a pile of phones, and we passed them around, taking one each.

‘FACE REGISTRATION IN PROCESS.

PLEASE WAIT FOR THE GAME TO COMMENCE’

The others in our group drifted apart from me and Chishiya. The couple remained together, holding hands as they comforted each other, but remaining two members separated. It just proved that despite the Beach giving you the advantage of a group, it didn’t mean you were truly a team.

And Chishiya, does he plan on completing this game by himself?

He was certainly the type to wander off on his own. But inside, I wished that wasn’t the case this time; I didn’t want to play this game alone. Even now, he was leaning against a wooden pillar, his back to me.

‘REGISTRATION CLOSED. THE GAME WILL NOW COMMENCE.’

Sighing, I listened in closely. If I was playing this alone, I couldn’t rely on him to talk me through the rules I might have missed.

‘GAME – HUNTING SEASON

DIFFICULTY – TWO OF SPADES

TIME LIMIT – ONE HOUR.’

Two of Spades. That wasn’t so bad. And an hour was a pretty generous time limit.

‘RULES –

ESCAPE THE PARK WITHOUT BEING CAUGHT BY THE HUNTERS.

IF YOU ARE CAUGHT, IT IS GAME OVER.

GAME START.’

All at once, the lights shut off and the place went silent. Everyone was glancing around, uncertain, and for a moment it was almost as if the game hadn’t begun. That was, until the man next to the food stall silently dropped to the ground, a bullet hole between his eyes.

For half a second, I stared at the body, mouth open. Then something snapped and the whole group of us scarpered out in every direction.

Run, run run!

I sprinted into the trees at the back of the rest house, stumbling around in the silence. There were branches and bushes all around, but nothing with nearly enough cover. And everywhere I looked, the darkness started to shift, morphing into faces—

A hand clamped over my mouth.

I struggled, breathing hard over my nose. My fingers tried to rip their hand away, but the person wrapped their other arm across my waist, pulling me closer until I felt his breath tickle my hair.  

‘Where do you think you’re going?’

Chishiya.

Instantly, I relaxed. How many times now had he surprised me by coming to my aid?

Still holding me tightly, he whispered again. ‘You need to stop running around so loudly. You’re going to give us away.’

Beneath his hand, I nodded in understanding. The moment stretched before he finally released me, his hands returning to his pockets while I took a minute to steady my breathing. My half-healed bullet wound was stinging from where he had grabbed me too tightly, and I wanted to snap at him for it, but it wasn’t the right time or place. The game took priority. There was no way of knowing who the hunters were or what they looked like, so we had to be as vigilant as possible.

‘We should find somewhere else before we come up with a plan,’ I whispered. ‘This area’s the first place they’ll look.’

He nodded, then gestured for me to follow him. We stuck to the trees between the paths, keeping low and creeping slowly to avoid leaving tracks, until eventually we came to a tea house. The traditional Japanese gardens at the front were far too open and uncovered, but the thick foliage behind the tea house offered the perfect amount of cover.

‘Over here,’ I mouthed to Chishiya, and snuck into the bushes.

It was disconcertingly dark. And all I could hear was the rustle of birds and Chishiya’s slight movements.

‘How come you came after me?’ I asked.

‘Don’t you want to make an escape plan?’

‘I do,’ I told him, ‘but I also didn’t know you wanted to work together. You didn’t tell me anything.’

He released a small huff of annoyance. ‘I shouldn’t have had to tell you that. We made a deal.’

A deal to take me to find supplies afterwards. I can’t believe he’s still honouring that.

‘I know, I’m sorry,’ I whispered. ‘It’s just that you really caught me by surprise before.’ Squinting, I tried to figure out which direction we should head in. There was small sign just next to the path, but in the darkness, it was impossible to make out what it said. Turning back to Chishiya, I asked, ‘do you know your way around the park?’

‘I’ve been here once or twice.’

‘Okay… that makes things easier. I was going to ask which entry gate is smallest, but I think it’s better to assume none of them are safe. The hunters will probably be waiting there.’

Chishiya thought for a moment. ‘If this is one of the teahouses, it means we’re not too far from the edge of the park.’

‘Which way do we go then?’

‘West.’

That’s…not helpful. Not even a bit.

‘Chishiya, I have no idea where we are right now,’ I said, frustrated, ‘let alone which direction is West.’

‘Ch, you’re hopeless.’ He pulled out his phone and checked the time. We still had 40 minutes left. He slid it back into his pocket and sighed. ‘Let’s go. But be quiet and stay out of sight.’

We slipped around the back of the treehouse, sticking to the lines of trees between and on either side of the paths. It was strange that we had yet to come across one of the hunters, but I didn’t doubt for a moment that they were prowling the park somewhere. The man back at the Central Rest House had been shot so precisely – a perfect aim, even from far away – and none of us had seen it coming. And judging by the lack of sound from the shot, the hunters were carrying silencers too.

Although I could see his silhouette in front of me, I was a little worried that I would end up losing Chishiya in the darkness. Even though he only looked out for himself, I felt safer around him, like he would always come up with a solution to any game, no matter how difficult.

Every time we came to a crossroads where the paths intersected, it became a challenge to stay covered, especially as the trees grew sparser, leaving us completely exposed.

We passed by a second teahouse, this one surrounded by wide open paths – a death trap. Chishiya raised two fingers, a gesture to follow his lead. A second later, he sprinted across the open intersection, disappearing into the foliage on the other side.

You’ve got to be kidding.

Listening carefully for footsteps, or any sign that we weren’t alone, I took a breath, then ran.

But nothing happened.

I found Chishiya, reaching him without so much as a scratch. It was like there weren’t enough hunters in the park to justify this being a game.

‘How come we haven’t seen one of the hunters yet?’ I whispered.

He shook his head. ‘I’m not sure. There’s probably a good reason.’

Following the path further, it quickly became apparent that we were stuck. On one side of us was a bridge over a large pond, and on the other was an open walkway that stretched on farther than I could see.

Chishiya analysed the situation for a moment. ‘Can you swim?’

‘Of course,’ I said. ‘But we can’t swim across that whole pond, we’ll be seen for miles.’

He smirked. ‘Not the whole pond.’

And that was how I found myself treading water, neck-deep, as we crept along the bank. The water was freezing, and the cold hit my lungs in a dull ache that left me almost breathless.

And what’s worse, the phones didn’t have waterproof cases, so we had to hold them in the air with one hand while paddling with the other. It was agony, suspending my bandaged arm above the pond water for such a long time, and all I could think about was how if there was a hunter on the other side, we’d be such easy prey. The pond seemed to stretch on forever, but once we passed beneath a large footbridge, the end was finally in sight.

Ahead of me, Chishiya used the shadows of the bridge to pull himself out of the water and onto a rocky bank. He bent low, extending a hand to help me out of the water. A voice in the back of my head told me not to take his hand, that I could do it myself. But I was too tired to care. I saw his eyes scan over me once, his gaze lingering on the now drenched hoodie.

‘Let’s get through this and I’ll replace it, I swear,’ I told him.

‘I’m not sure you can’ he said, unimpressed. ‘I want that one back’

I folded my arms, huddled against the cold of my wet clothes. ‘You just have to be that difficult, don’t you?’ Then my eye caught the apex of trees ahead of us. ‘Where are we?’

‘We’re coming up to the Mother and Child forest,’ he said. ‘We’re not far from the edge of the park.’

Shivering in my shorts, I held up my phone. We had just 25 minutes left.

‘Are we going into the Mother and Child forest?’

He shook his head. ‘It’s not much of a forest. It’s too exposed.’

Without speaking, Chishiya led the way forward. Here, the paths were wide and open, but sheltered by a canopy of tall trees that protruded from steep banks. There was a long path to our left, with wire fencing on either side of the banks, presumably to keep park goers from doing what we were doing now.

We moved away from the paths and deeper into the trees. Here, it was much, much darker, and I could barely see where I was stepping—

Chishiya’s hand grabbed my hood, jerking me back until I was leaning against his chest. Heart racing, I flinched when his voice came in a close whisper.

‘Look down.’

Lowering my eyes to the ground, I had to squint before I could see it. The blackened metal gleamed faintly in the moonlight, spikes protruding out of the ground like a grotesque crown.

‘A bear trap,’ I breathed. ‘That’s why we haven’t seen any hunters. They’re staying around the edges of the par—’

His hand clamped over my mouth. I squirmed, only for his other arm to wrap around my upper body as he tugged me behind a tree and pulled me to the ground. The position was uncomfortable, with me sitting between his legs, my face pressed into the junction between his neck and his collarbone.

What the hell is he doing?

And then I hear the footsteps.

It was a steady crunch… an occasional snap… careful and methodical, and slowly moving closer.

I stilled in Chishiya’s arms, focusing solely on the sound of the footsteps and the feeling of Chishiya’s calm breaths as they gently skimmed the exposed skin of my neck. If it weren’t for the fear of the situation, I would’ve found our position strangely intimate. With my head against his collarbone, I could feel the steady beat of his heart… except it wasn’t steady. It was beating ever so slightly fast.

Is he… nervous? Chishiya gets nervous?

The thought was instantly pushed from my mind as we finally caught sight of it.

The hunter.

They were dressed head to toe in camo, their heavy black boots glistening even in the dark. Covering their entire face and neck was a black wolf mask, the two eye holes gaping open, but revealing nothing of the person inside. And in their hands, they were holding a large gun with a silencer attached.

The hunter turned, peering in all directions.

I felt Chishiya’s hands tense around me, gripping harder. I wanted to tell him that he was crushing my still-injured arm, that I wasn’t going to make a noise, that he didn’t need to warn me like this. But of course, I couldn’t. I gritted my teeth through the pain.

The hunter looked in our direction.

I held my breath.

Don’t move. Don’t blink.

Then he turned away, and I relaxed, as did Chishiya’s bruising hold. There was a crunch of leaves as the hunter crouched down to inspect the untriggered bear trap… and then nothing.

Just like that, he was gone.

For a full minute, neither of us moved. Until slowly, almost uncertainly, Chishiya’s hands fell away. I took my cue and shifted, giving him room to stand before doing the same. This time, he didn’t help me up, choosing instead to saunter through the trees.

I had no choice but to follow, but I decided that if we got out of this place, I’d have to thank him for saving my skin twice in a row… right after slapping him for that bone-crushing warning he did. The half-healed wound in my arm was probably bleeding again now.

Taking out time to avoid making noise, we snuck down the treeline that followed the path. I was worried we were running out of time, and I wanted to check my phone, but the light of the screen would be too risky. If I were to estimate, we probably had about twelve or so minutes left.

On the way, Chishiya and I scanned the ground for more surprises. So far, we avoided several leg-hold traps and at one point, I grabbed Chishiya and pulled him back, stopping him from walking straight into a snare. He didn’t seem too bothered by the near-miss as he shrugged out of my hands.

Eventually, we came to a final intersection. The path we’d been following joined a longer one that stretched all across the park. On the other side of the intersection, up the bank and beyond foliage, I could see the tall metal of a fence.

There it is! My eyes dropped to the large open space where the paths met. There’s no way we can cross this.

Chishiya placidly looked around, as if trying to find some other way of getting across. But there wasn’t one. For the first time since our run-in with the hunter, he looked at me. Raising three fingers, he mouthed ‘on three’.

We’re not going to… he doesn’t mean…

He lowered a finger.

I shook my head. There had to be another way. There had to be.

But there’s no time…

He lowered a second finger.

I took one step back, preparing myself. I didn’t know if this was a trap, or if Chishiya was going to use me as a decoy. But my gut instinct told me to trust him.

He lowered his third finger… and we ran.

Together we shot down the bank, leaping over the metal wiring at the bottom. I felt the bullets shoot across my skin, missing me by centimetres. They were surrounding us from every direction. We’d been cornered.

But I ran. I ran. And I stared at that tall dark fence in the distance as I leapt over the wire and jumped onto the bank. The bullets kept coming, one whipping through my loose hair. The tall fence was closer now, growing bigger with every step, but I couldn’t stop.

‘Climb,’ I heard Chishiya huff.

Jumping at the fence, I tugged my feet up and clambered my way to the top. Now, the bullets were clanging against the metal, the force shaking the structure. I caught sight of a wolf mask hidden between two trees, and instinctively threw myself over the edge, my stomach grazing the metal spikes that lined the top.

My body hit the ground with a thud, but the bullets continued to ricochet.

I’m out of the park. I escaped, right?

There was a flash of white and a pained grunt, before Chishiya landed on top of me, his weight knocking the air from my lungs. I felt him gasp from the impact, right as the bullets stopped. All was silent.

‘GAME CLEAR – CONGRATULATIONS!’

He didn’t move at first, then as if remembering where he was, he pulled away from me and sat up on the grass.

I lay there, cold, wet and exhausted. We did it.

Not bad for a girl who’s terrible at Spades.

Rolling over, I turned to… Chishiya?

He had unzipped his hoodie, revealing both his toned chest and a bleeding wound in his side. His fingers lightly touched the area as he inspected it. Catching sight of my expression, he zipped his hoodie back up, eyes cold.

‘Are you okay?’

He got to his feet and pulled his hood over his head. ‘It’s nothing.’

Standing up, I tried to reach out to see, but he took a step back. He was wearing the same, distant expression he always had.  

‘Did they get you?’ I asked. The white of his hoodie had become spotted with red over his injury. ‘We should go back to the Beach. I wonder where the others are.’

‘I haven’t been shot,’ he said, dismissive. ‘It was the fence.’  

My eyes darted to the metal spikes, the pinpoints shining under the dull light. Even though he was playing it off, it could still get infected. And it must’ve hurt, despite how cavalier his reaction was. The thought disturbed me. Even though I knew Chishiya was only human, he seemed untouchable somehow.

‘We should still head back,’ I insisted. ‘An could take a look at it—’

Then he uttered my name. It was the first time he’d ever spoken it before, and the way it rolled off his tongue sent goosepimples along my skin. And in a tone that left no room for argument, he said, ‘we made a deal.’

The words crushed me one by one. He was willing to put up with an injury for the sake of a stupid deal I made with him. I just didn’t understand why. But it made me wonder whether there was more to Chishiya than he let on, whether he did have a sliver of a heart buried somewhere.  

Giving me one last glance, he muttered, ‘let’s go.’ Then he turned and began walking away from the park.

I stared at the back of his hood, and the small red patch on his hoodie. And it was then that I finally understood something. Whatever I felt for this man, it was no longer hatred.