#nobody talks about it but they get lonely

[iid-smile]

difficult things

sakura, nirei, suo, sugishita, kaji

if you were dating them series

sakura hakura | feeling comfortable around you

it's extremely frustrating trying to get him to open up to you more. he feels the need to look tougher, to protect you more while telling others to back off, but he misses the sole purpose of the relationship; love. sakura avoids you more when you're dating, more than when the two of you were in the talking phase. might be from embarrassment, might be from hesitance. he doesn't say that you're his partner, but something along the lines of "i find them nice...", which makes no sense at all. everyone that sakura knows is nice to him (a few exceptions here and there), so does he really bunch you up with the rest of them?

nirei akihiko | getting over his insecurities

whenever he talks about himself, most times out of ten it's something negative. it doesn't matter how many times you reassure, comfort or encourage him, because nirei doesn't feel like he's good enough for you. it's not that he avoids you per se, but he hides, he puts you in the spotlight, but doesn't join alongside you, so you feel more lonely than anything. he can be early to dates, but he also skips them without telling you or with a poor excuse. it's genuinely off-putting how much he degrades and insults himself, to the point where you don't even know what to say to make him feel better.

suo hayato | saying the truth

suo is a natural pathological liar, as well as lying just to save face. you would never genuinely know if he's covering something behind his eyepatch or not, because he just doesn't want to tell you, injury or not. he'll joke, tease, do everything but tell you that perhaps he's just not comfortable with showing you. and if he did, you'd be totally okay with that. the way he thinks contradicts how he acts, and he picks out all of the things he doesn't like about you and can be so judgmental about it. if you ask, he won't say. one of his values is to keep up his facade, no matter how free or secure he feels around you. nobody knows the real him, except himself. he's loyal, but not honest.

sugishita kyotaro | admitting his mistakes

he loves and admires you to bits, but to be 'sorry' is a way of saying that he has done wrong to you, and he doesn't like that. not because he's narcissistic and petty, but because he doesn't want to believe that he's hurt you in some way. his way of an apology is silently lingering around you or staring at you until you eventually forgive him. at first, it's cute, but when this happens every time, even when it's a major issue, it makes you frustrated. sugishita finds it hard to talk, and communication isn't his strong point. the two of you could go for months in radio silence, and he won't explain anything to you soley because he doesn't know what to say. he doesn't like to be guilty around those he thinks highly of.

kaji ren | ignorance and bluntness

kaji hasn't yet realised that you think and function completely in a different way to him. he's not used to having to soften up, lighten up his tone and be more gentle. in fact, he doesn't realise that somebody loves should be somebody he treats in a special way and not like the rest. kaji should be adjusting to you, just how you adjusted for him. he talks to you as if you're stupid or as if you lack common sense, and he unknowingly belittles you for every mistake you make, more when you hurt or injure yourself in some way. his affection shows through actions, but still it's not anything sweet, not anything you'd expect from a boyfriend. a lot of the time, he manages to look over you and your needs, and needs a reminder from someone else to check up on you.

[xruiiii-blog]

Hi I’m literally obsessed with this au

I have a couple questions I’m so sorry if I’m bothering you but I’ve been analyzing this comic for way too long

Who is leading mountain to be killed? Who is getting crowned? Why is mountain being killed? Are the rest of the knights/other portraits other ghouls? Who is helping phantom unbury him? Is phantom unveiling him at the end?

I’m so sorry I’m obsessed, your art is amazing and thank you for your time

Thanks for the time and energy you invested into this!!! Wow! I might disappoint you after this haha. But u know! Always analyze and believe in whatever you think it’s the best explanation! I love when ppl have their own understanding of a piece :) that’s why there’s no dialogue

Anyway about the comic…

It supposed to be a simple “once upon a time” kinda thing. A bedtime tell, someone’s small piece of memory, a casual story that’s melancholy. Nobody’s really important, except the little prince and his knight. There’s no deeper meaning other than the lonely prince lost the only person he cares about to a war.

Something about the titan knights is that they don’t care about their identity. Their powers and skills are the things that matters. That’s their identity instead of who that person is under that mask. They are weapons and they like to keep it that way. Meaning that if any one of them dies during the war, a weapon has served its purpose. The others will move on and there’s no sorrow. I don’t want to talk too much about different species lore here it’s a lot…maybe next time :)

However, the two anonymous knights are rather closer to Mountain and Phantom than everyone else. They are also more human-like. They are more sentimental than some others on the team. It’s not anyone’s fault that the titans are this way btw, it’s just how things is. These two knights care about phantom more than the others does spiritually, they kinda understand how close their captain was to the prince and what Mountain meant to him. So they take him to Mount. Usually titans don’t even take the dead body back with them. It’s not like they don’t care, they do, but to them dead body it’s meaningless. No longer serve any purpose. Titans don’t ever grieve, mourn, or anything.

Phantom does. Be glad that he’s even able to contact with the corpse one last time cuz a lot of times soldier’s grave is just an empty tomb. That’s also why he digs. He needs to see it himself in order to let go. He places the veil back to place and sees what he’s familiar with for his whole life. The mere illusion that Mount is still with him.

…

Honestly this whole thing came to me at 2am and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I feel like its more of a vibe, very vague story and fear of death I didn’t executed it the way I wish I could (skill issue…) anyway my first actual try at drawing comics and it took me 2 miserable weeks(it was okay). I shared this before I have concentrate issue my attention span is short💀…ngl the process it’s challenging and I wasn’t expecting ppl to understand what’s happening or even read it. I didn’t expect myself to finish the whole thing even lol. Glad you like it and look at it with these much appreciation AND letting me know!!! :)) that’s what I was tryna say. 🖤🖤🫶🫶🫶

[cherryblossombankai]

Summary: Hawks feels lonely and decides to go to a bar to look for some company. 

Word Count: 560

Warnings: drinking, flying, pretty tame overall tbh, language

Author’s Note: This was written for a little writing challenge! It was fun stretching my brain muscles and it’s been a while since I wrote something based on a song. 

Tag List: @pixelcafe-network, @actuallysaiyan, @helloiamadrawer

The bar is dark and quiet, but still, Keigo can’t hide anywhere. His strong wings draw attention wherever he goes. Usually, he plays it up, flashing a bright smile and telling jokes like he doesn’t have a care in the world. He wishes he really felt that way. Sometimes it would sneak over him. When he’d be soaring through the sky, high above the city, sometimes he’d feel free. Then, the feelings would quickly fade. He’d be reminded once more how he’s just a cog in the machine. At least nobody in this place approached him. They watched, of course, with flickers of recognition in their eyes. 

“Look it’s chicken wing!” one particularly drunk man yelled across the bar room. Keigo frowns, but when he turns to retort the man’s friend is holding him up and offering Keigo apologies. 

“It’s fine. Just take care of him,” he sighs before turning away. He finds a lone seat at the end of the bar. He did want company, but he wanted to stretch his wings out even more. 

You didn’t light up the bar when you walked in. There was no dazzling smile that drew his attention. You were lost in thought, maybe even a little sad. That’s what drew his attention to you, trying to decide whether you would cry. He fancied himself a bit of charmer and thought if he saw you crying, he could slide in there to make you smile. 

“Are you watching me, hero boy?” you ask from across the bar, speaking over the glass that you’re raising to your lips. 

“Maybe. Is that okay?” he smirks. 

You shrug in response, “You can watch whatever you want.” 

He could sense the sardonic resignation in your voice. The acceptance of your situation. He realizes maybe you were never sad at all, but instead frustrated. Maybe you feel like him. 

“Hey, you wanna do something cool?” he asks as he gets up from his seat and walks over to you. 

A soft laugh falls from your lips, “Define cool?” 

“It’s a surprise,” he assures you. “Just come with me. I’m a hero, right? You can trust me.” 

You roll your eyes playfully and stand up. “Fine, but if you try to like pull out your dick or something once we’re outside I’m gonna kick you.” 

“No promises,” he winks. There was something about him that you trusted. Then again, you figured maybe he was right. You’d always been told to trust the heroes, and even if his attitude was not typical at times, he’s the number 2 hero now. 

That’s how you ended up flying above the city in his arms. Your screams of delight fill the air around you when he swoops and spins to show off. Your arms are wrapped tightly around his neck. It had taken him a bit to talk you into it, but now that you’re in the sky you never want to come down. 

Keigo didn’t know how different it would feel not to fly alone. He tightens his arms around your waist and enjoys how it feels when you nuzzle into his neck. 

You’re still holding on tight when he finally lands in front of the bar again. You take a moment to regain your footing. 

Your smile is bright as you look up at him, “When can we go again?” 

[vigilskeep]

What was Ser Joan's opinion on her daughter? I just- sorry, this character FASCINATES me and gets into all sorts of fun territory re: my interest in the idea of people who maybe shouldn't have had children, wouldn't have if that choice had been theirs, but nonetheless have them anyway, and all the complicated ways to feel in that situation.

yeah i think she’s really fun to play around with!! especially as, like, an absence. she left when beatrice was little more than a baby and died when she was like... 12-14? it’s impossible for bea to ever really know what she was thinking or how much she cared. i love backstory characters who are empty spaces full of questions

i think a lot of people told joan over and over that she would be happier in her new life once she had a baby. and it very much did not work out that way. she suffered really badly from depression afterwards. bea was being raised by servants and chantry sisters even before joan left, because she did not want to be in a room with that baby. i mean, not to put too fine a point on it, but with joan we’re talking about a character i initially conceptualised as having committed suicide, which was replaced with her joining the grey wardens. now whether that counts as an alternative to taking your own life or just as a lengthier way of doing it, i don’t know

to be honest i don’t think joan did love bea. i don’t like the idea of saying “oh, she did love her like she was supposed to, some way, deep down”, as if that’s an obligation for her to be sympathetic. if she ever visited ostwick and saw her daughter again before she died, i think she felt very distant from her. she met a polite young girl and they had a short conversation before joan went back to her warden comrades and her real life. perhaps that was all it had to be. (and if she snarled at her husband never to do to the child what had been done to her, that was far more about seeing her own younger self than about seeing her daughter, if that makes sense.)

it’s hard on bea, obviously. she was such a constantly lonely child and except for her aunt’s occasional visits, nobody was ever truly in her corner. i think bea was always trying so hard to be good, to not make a fuss about it, to never resent, and in the end she clings to idealising the grey wardens to convince herself her mother had a reason to leave, that it was heroic and of course her mother didn’t want to leave her, she just had to. it makes it unsurprising that bea is so determined now to always, by force of will, see the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt. which is one of her best qualities, the core of her open-mindedness and her kindness, but it also makes her too willing to let certain things slide, and as in this case, kind of puts unfair expectations on people that they inevitably disappoint if she ever sees them clearer

[allwormdiet]

Tangle 6.9

I don't wanna deal with this parrrrrrrrrt

Taylor. Taylor. I know you're getting desperate but come on. You can't write an email to the hero you and your friends publicly bodied on the same night that you did the bodying.

Nobody's checking her on her shit. Nobody who she should theoretically be able to go to for advice is equipped for this, or even inclined to help her. Danny would try, I'm certain, but he'd be out of his depth. Emma might have been a grounding influence for Taylor once upon a time but, haha, that is no longer an option. School is worthless to her, and her new (only) friends are the ones who are doing the crimes she's involving herself in, not to mention that she became their friend with the intent to backstab them.

...I wish she'd just talk to her dad about this shit. Her refusal to even try and explain it to him feels like it's tangled up in something she can't even name or describe. He's the closest confidant she has at this point, and that's not saying much, but for fuck's sake it should be saying something.

Fuck.

Fucky fucker fucking fuck.

You can't lie to someone you live with for that long about something that can be so easily fact-checked and expect to never get caught out. It's just not feasible.

God this is so hard. She's trying to spare his feelings, she's trying to not pin any of this on him, and it's not working. The fact that she feels like she can't trust him means that he failed to be trustworthy to her, somewhere along the way, and she won't even acknowledge that. She won't even sit across the table from him to talk about this.

Here's where Danny scuffs it, honestly. I'm not going to say he was even wrong to anticipate Taylor's avoidance, but hemming her in like this is only going to rile her up worse. I don't know what the right answer is. Breaks my heart.

I don't think it's fair of Taylor to lump her dad in with the others who've hurt her, in no small part because. This hurt that Danny's feeling, the pain that makes her twist with guilt and frustration, was damage she caused by lying to him, by pushing him away. She's been so lonely for so long and the one person who could've been an ally, even an ineffectual one, is the one she's kept at arm's length throughout all of it.

Even the violence, even the kicking and the breaking, is just a way to avoid telling him anything.

Just pull the bandage off, Taylor, please. Maybe the worst-case scenario happens but then you don't have to keep that poisonous cold lump inside of you. There's other reactions he could have, better ones. I don't think his love for you is conditional. I don't think

Okay so this is almost the right decision she's making, here

Yes! Be with your friends, make bonds that last, admit to yourself what you actually want

God fucking dammit

Straight up crying in the club rn

Tell him! Oh my god please just tell him. Taylor for the love of god please just tell him

Fuck

Lisa's just a kid, too. As much as she pretends otherwise, as much as Danny wants to believe her.

So. Fucking sad.

Current Thoughts

The Heberts break my goddamn heart.

Danny tried, but he pushed too hard when Taylor was already raw and accidentally put her in a defensive mindset, made her feel cornered, unsafe. And then when it came down to it, he still let her walk away. He let Lisa take her from him.

And Taylor. God. I wish she'd just let Danny support her. Even if he doesn't solve her problems, if she could just lean on him during the low times that could make such a difference. I think he could understand, maybe given time. He'd side with her before he'd side against her, no matter who was on the other side.

Another point of proof, I guess. Taylor's fate wasn't sealed from the beginning. It doesn't have to go the way that it goes. There were options, much as she can't see them.

And the roads not taken just make it hurt that much more.

Interlude next.

*sigh*

[clonehub]

Tell me what y'all think of this headcanon:

CCs get their own quarters, but sometimes they'll sleep in an empty bunk in the barracks.

It's an unspoken thing. CC will check the logs and see which squad might have a space open, which happens on occasion. Regs say that clones can't be swapping bunks and rooms all the time, but this is one of those things that a command clone is kind of above.

Getting your own quarters is a privilege. The privacy is novel. The silence can be unbearable.

The clones spend almost their whole lives falling asleep to the sound of their brothers breathing. So sometimes a commander will bunk with a squad. I headcanon that after Teth happened and the 501st went from a formidable foe to just six men, Rex and those six men all slept in the same barracks.

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Anyway I got notified that I'll be getting a nice $$ bonus from work today and I wish that I could celebrate with someone in a way that didn't just feel like obnoxious bragging. Like beyond the financial aspect, it's just nice to be recognized for good work and I actually feel... good?? about this job??

But it feels so silly to say I want to celebrate when I just got back from what felt like my first real vacation in a very long time and am doing cool comic con stuff this weekend and am scheduled for a new tattoo next weekend. I am already doing lots of things to try to make myself feel good! It feels selfish to want more!

But I guess even with all of that, there's just still a hunger for external validation from trusted sources. Will I ever grow out of wanting someone to be proud of me?

[roemantics]

suffering from ‘i am really deeply affected by this piece of media but i have no one to talk about it with and nobody in my circle wants to watch it’ syndrome

[grey-has-rusted]

^me when i am a sensitive person

[aurorashard]

.

[commandermahariel]

siiiiiiigh

[mothbeasts]

happy fabricator friday. time for me to post fabbylaris content okay?? obligatory these are all my personal headcanons and some of it has little to no basis in actual canon, it's mostly just me expanding on things I think make sense. with that out of the way.

I think, in theory, that Solaris is one of the very few people who could convince the Fabricator to leave Zoraxis. If not the only one. I doubt the Fabricator has many outside support systems, and while she could turn to the Agency for help... I doubt it'd go well for her.

So that leaves Solaris. Someone she worked closely with for years. Half a decade, at the very least. It would be incredibly difficult for her to get away with the amount of loyalty to Zor she has, and the manipulation she has to have experienced, and the fear for her life... But Solaris leaving might have planted the seeds of doubt in her mind. There's nobody she trusts more, despite the rocky start their relationship had.

I like to think that Solaris was the first person in over a decade, besides Zor, to actually... Interact with the Fabricator in a generally positive way. Solaris never belittled her, or talked down at her, or made her feel like she wasn't worthy of her rank... Because despite her prominence in Zoraxis, I don't think the Fabricator truly has a seat at the table. And this isn't really new to her, she's far too accustomed to being looked down on, but... It stings. With Solaris, though, she's finally someone's equal. There's mutual respect. It's nice, being appreciated...

So of course if she wanted to leave she would seek out the one person who might not turn her away. What else would she have?

[sensitivegoblin]

I'd do anything to have a teasing voice in my ear

[piplupod]

good god I cannot do this fjdksl this is so much pressure. just received a text from this girl at the centre expressing how she's so glad I'm her friend bc she's never rly had any true friends before, and thats very very nice of her to say but also i cannot fucking do this fjdksl this is so much pressure and every time I'm around her I feel like I'm babysitting which isn't her fault! she is simply not a good match for me in terms of social skills and personality! but i feel like im going to fucking kms bc this is so much pressure and I cannot continue to try to support her mental health and be like. her only source of friendship. while barely being able to keep myself afloat 🧍

[vraska-theunseen]

im genuinely so frustrated right now the way i always am about this one thing but i can't even sustain the misery right now because i've never been able to come up with any kind of answer no matter how many miserable drafts i write and hours i stay up thinking so it's just making me laugh how the posts im writing to keep in my drafts keep turning into my fucking. autobiography. "...i remember a stage kiss with a tall girl in theater camp (her name was ashley or jennifer or something she could do the splits)" that's literally so funny. jennifer or ashley do you remember playing spin the bottle at the arden theater camp in 6th grade it's apparently pretty core for me

[faethfigueroth]

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