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#and this probably sounds depressing but its not like im wrong. whenever i ppst this stuff i get self conscious but im just. saying it how-
turigirl
·
5 months
Text
ive decided i shall just Not sleep
#moo.txt
#im really tired bht i dont. want to let myself sleep
#i sont. deserve it
#punishment. or whagever
#sorry i really do feel bad venting on here all the time because im just forcing everyonr t
#*to. well maybe not listen to me but at least look at my thoughts
#instead of like just venting to one person or a server or whatever
#but its not like i Have anyone to actually properly talk to
#im everyones second choice At Best
#and this probably sounds depressing but its not like im wrong. whenever i ppst this stuff i get self conscious but im just. saying it how-
#-it is.
#like yes im just burdening people but thats already what im fucking doing every minute of my life
#i could say [REDACTED] and itd probably get ignored regardless so who cares at this point
#ive tried so hard to push people away nobody understands. and i keep coming back like a fucking lonely puppy snd just hurting people more
#i need to just be put down
#i donf know what to do anymore i feel guilty when people dont talk to me i feel guilty when people DO talk to mw because either way its-
#-a reaction to whatever ivs said on here typically
#i dont Knkw whst i want anymore orher than [REDACTED]
#maybe someday ill get angry enough and just stop censoring myself at all but at least right now i wkll
#theres no winning with me because its like. i get sent a message About what ive said and i feel extreme guilt. i get sent a message thats-
#-off topic and i feel extreme guilt. i dont get messaged at all and i feel extreme guilt
#oh whatever im sitting here spiraling and writing a post that nobody except myself is gonna read least of all pay attention to
#an extremely suicidal teenager what else is new.
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