#I liked when things were mostly good and calm and just sucked on a passive level -- can I have that again?

[kyofsonder]

Physically, I'm already lying down.

Emotionally, I feel like I need to find a soft spot and crumple dramatically to the ground and lay down for a few weeks.

[angeldcgs]

it may have seemed silly to get so worked up over something that happened a decade ago, but that's what happens when you repress your emotions rather than address them head on. that's how griffyn was able to remain mostly calm and collected, while lou seemed on the verge of a full blown meltdown. he could be a bit of a shithead, purposefully trying to get under people's skin just for the entertainment their reaction provided, but with lou, he'd always been a little gentler. far from walking on eggshells, it was just that he knew which topics were fair game and which were off limits when it came to teasing. there was only so long he could bottle up his own thoughts, though, and all of this had been brewing between the two of them all this time, just threatening to boil over. "relax, man... i'm not trying to start a fight, here, i'm just pointing out the obvious." his hands raised in surrender, hoping that lou would see that he wasn't trying to antagonize him. really, he thought pushing him to admit the truth would only help him better understand himself, whether or not it actually led to him acting on his feelings for griffyn. "i dunno if you've noticed, because it's not like you cared to ask, or anything, but you're not the only 'straight' guy i've kissed. not that summer, and not in general, and you're not the only one who refused to admit he actually enjoyed it. the only difference is, you're the only one i'd actually wanna kiss again, which sucks, but not as much as it sucks to live your whole life trying to repress something your can't control."

the slight tension that had hung in the air between them all night had morphed into something colder— hostile, almost. while lux and griffyn were approaching the topic in good faith, for the most part, lou's hackles had raised regardless of their intentions, a sensitive nerve clearly plucked in just the right way to illicit such a response. such monumental changes in self perception were never easy to stomach, so there was bound to be a little resistance on his part, but lux wasn't about to let him wiggle his way out of facing his identity. he'd been reluctant to try certain things that were now staples in their relationship, and she fully believed that opening himself up to experiencing his feelings for griffyn would be just as beneficial for him. as the two men focused their energy in on themselves, lux simply piped down and allowed them to duke it out, for once taking the backseat and letting griffyn do the driving. this issue was between the two of them, after all, and she was only there to instigate the conversation so that they could finish it. her touch was enough to remind him of her presence and help reel him in if he got too out of control. she wasn't one to take a more passive role like this, and though it was entertaining to watch them bicker back and forth like schoolboys squabbling over the last cookie, she quickly grew irritated of the seemingly endless back and forth. it seemed that they were unable to resolve things without her applying some sort of pressure. "boys, please... there's no need to get catty. we all want the same thing, right? to be happy? to feel good? you don't have to be so defensive, lou."

another man might have been ashamed by how he let his girlfriend baby him but lou had grown so accustomed to it that he saw nothing wrong with her gentle behaviour. he'd had girlfriends before but he'd always taken on that protective role, the so-called man of the relationship, yet it had never felt right. what he had with lux was enough for him, he was happy with what they had and who he was when he was with her, he didn't want to start bringing up his past and pulling it apart. he chose not to answer lux as she once again suggested what he was feeling and instead turned his attention down to the carpet. what did either of them know about shame? they both had money in the game, something they wanted that could only materialise when lou admitted what they wanted. they both claimed to know him better than himself and maybe that was the case for lux but with griffyn being the source of all that struggle and fear, his pushing for admission bothered lou more than anything. he kept silent as they both tried to comfort him, only raising his gaze up when he was addressed by griffyn. it didn't matter if he was right or not, whether he'd spent nights awake thinking about what griffyn's mouth had felt like on his and how doomed that had made him believe he was, what mattered was the confidence griffyn portrayed about his own importance in lou's life. "you need that to be true." he responded calmly, like there wasn't a fire slowly building in his stomach, threatening him to lash out and say something he would ultimately regret. "cause if it isn't, that means you spent that whole summer and god knows how many years afterwards wishing for something that was never going to happen." the hand in his hair kept him steady, like a dog's owner clinging to their collar as they tried to snap at passersby. he refused to admit to himself that knowing griffyn wanted him twisted his gut in the same way he'd felt when first pursuing lux, right on the precipice of something monumental but this time he was far too scared to look down and see what he was being threatened with if he didn't keep his cool. "just because you spent that summer fucking girls while wishing it was me, doesn't mean i was doing the same thing."

[silverechosandblankmasks]

Platonic Polyam Bench Trio Marriage AU

You guys asked, so here I am to deliver! Platonic Polyam Bench Trio marriage au where Tommy marries into Tubbo’s and Ranboo’s platonic marriage. (focus on Tommy lol)

NOTE; These are about the c!characters and not the irl people, and I'm writing this like a poly queerplatonic relationship okay? None of this is intended to be romantic or anything else and anything that is in this list is PLATONIC INTENTIONS ONLY

Edit; Now called the Bench Husbands Au

-It kinda all kicks off when about a week or so after Tommy gets out of Prison. (Note, nothing after the first stream after Tommy gets out is canon in this au, as well as some things before)

-Tubbo and Tommy finally have a small fight and argument, before talking, like really talking and Tubbo invite Tommy to come live with them in the mansion in snowchester once its done.

-Tommy doesn't really want to... but he’s tired and lonely and still scared to death and Tubbo promises he’s safe with them, plus if they lived together they could plan on how to kill Dream easier as well.

-Ranboo doesn't mind but after that he tries to go talk to tommy more, but Tommy isnt... the most receptive? Tommy is suffering still and is feeling very replaced and lonely, but doesn't excuse his kinda snippy behavior with Ranboo

-This finally comes to ahead when Ranboo snaps and calls him out, leading to another small fight, before Tommy apologizes and they also talk. This one is more in depth though and Tommy talks about what happened in exile, in the prison, and just general shitty stuff that's being going on. 

-Ranboo, in turn, talks to him about the voices and Dream’s voice and the sleepwalking and Tommy is very much more concerned about them then anyone else he told was, and validates the fear about it, and resolves to help Ranboo get rid of it somehow.

-After this, and both trying to convince the other they should tell Tubbo, that they both probably need to tell Tubbo. They want to keep him safe and not worry him, but... they both need help in different ways and they both love him enough to not do that to him.

-The night ends with lots of tears, Tubbo admitting his own traumas and tears and what he’s been not saying, and a promise to help each other.

-Its not a while after that actually Ranboo brings up the idea of adding Tommy to their marriage. He can tell the blond is struggling with feeling replaced and low-self esteem, and it would help him feel more equal and loved maybe? Tubbo thinks its a great idea and they go to ask Tommy.

-Tommy’s pretty uppity at first, he believes its just them pitying him and treating him like glass again, which he hates more then anything, but after they calm him down and explain they just want him to feel equal and that they both actually cared for him and wanted him to join in on their thing, he’s more contemplative. Ranboo nervously throws in a few other points, like how for legal reasons it could benefit him like it was for them, their allies had to leave him alone, plus Tubbo only started making his own hotel becuase he wanted Tommy to start interacting with him again, and-

-At this point Tommy just, interrupts and says yes, surprising them. They didn't exactly think he’d say no, but they thought it would be harder then that. He laughs at their expressions and says why not? Plus it stood to reason they’d want Tommy, everyone wanted Tommy.

-Ranboo and Tubbo exchange a look before bullying their now platonic fiancée. They agree to get married as soon as the Mansion is done, and till then Tommy can finish packing his stuff and a few other things he wanted to do.

-Also Tommy is totally not avoiding Michael because every pet he ever got close to has died and he doesn't want to get attached and risk Tubbo and Ranboo losing something they cared about because of him, no siree, why wouldn't you think that?

-Speaking of Michael!

-Its not all that strange to keep undead mobs like Zombie piglins as pets, in fact Zombie Piglins are the probably better undead mob to keep around due to their mostly passiveness if you want a pet and the fact they don't need much to eat and wont really be harmed if out leave them alone for long periods of time

-Though Tommy kinda thinks Tubbo and Ranboo’s insist on treating him like their child is weird, but he’s willing to let them have it, clearly it made them happy to play around

-Isn't until he finally moves in that he realizes that Michael is different then other zombie piglins and finds himself being pulled into the parent dynamic as well

-Though now that he thinks about it, something about Michael seems off… welp it's probably nothing :)

-When the mansion is done, he tears down the dirt shack and makes it a community garden and it becomes one of the only things that stays free of the red vines (who knew watering it with water from the holy land would make it untouchable? It's thanks to this garden later others figure out how to defeat the egg)

-They elect to not have a ceremony, not now at least but Tommy actually thinks a small wedding party would be fun at a later date. Ranboo doesn't mind much if they have one or not but Tubbo is actually very excited about planning it.

-Tommy wears his ring on a necklace most of the time, but occasionally wears it on his fingers, usually when he needs something to fiddle with.

-Ranboo wears his on his tail (the area right before to fluffy part) normally but also wears it on his finger sometimes when he feels like it. (If your version has horns, he also does that too) it just really depends on what he’s feeling and if he’s forgotten where he put it. He also like, never takes it off unless to move it around because he’s afraid to lose it.

-Tubbo wears his as an actual ring on his finger (though if he has horns, sometimes he puts it on one of em if he needs the ring to be off his hand.) Tubbo learned the hard way when building nukes or other machinery (since, if you can believe it, his husbands aren’t that comfortable with the nukes as he is) you can't wield or do high heat stuff while wearing metal and nearly lost his finger. He’s very lucky and he has a small scar from it.

-Each of them have their own rooms so they can have their own space and somewhere to go if they want time to themselves/store their stuff in, but there is a 4th room (directly across from Michaels) where they share and tend to curl up to sleep together. About 5 out of 7 days of the week, some combo of them are cuddling together at night, more if they're having a bad day or nightmares.

-There's multiple bathrooms in the mansion but there's one they all like the best and will fight over it/race to get into it first before the others and the other two will stalk off salty to use a different one

-They're all pretty tactile people but out of them, Tommy is the most tactile (once the fear of being hurt recess he practically attaches himself to the others) and Ranboo is the least (he won't seek out comfort and touch as much as the others unless he needs it, but is the best at telling when the other two need touch or need to be left alone) and Tubbo is in the middle of that.

-Tommy is the one that cooks most of the time, Ranboo is banned from it after The Incident and while Tubbo is okay at cooking, Tommy just knows more recipes and how to make things taste really good.

-Tommy picked up sewing from when he was a kid, even before he was found by Wilbur and adopted by Phil, it was useful to be able to patch the rags he called clothes, and just ended up continuing because his brothers and dad sucked at sewing. It then morphed into full tailoring because he found it relaxing and liked being able to make his own clothes. He can and will be insulted if anyone wears anything he deems ‘ugly’, especially his new husbands. He makes them clothes all the time, specially Michael.

-In fact he also cleans the most, he just gets bored and while he makes a mess, if the house gets to a certain point he gets really uncomfortable and overstimulated, so he cleans.

-DomesticInnit? In my au? More likely then you think!

-Gradually the whole ‘watching the prison’ and ‘planning to kill Dream’ starts to fade as he gets back into the groove of living again and therapy. He’s just… tired of Dream having a hold on everything Tommy does, he’s sick of it. So… he just tries to live these days one step at a time. (Healing arc baby! Dream can die mad UwU)

-Tommy dragged them both to Therapy with him after a while.

-Because of this he finds himself home a lot with Michael, especially if the other two are busy. They’ve pretty much decided that someone has to be home with Michael at all times, which is now 100% more doable with the 3 of them, and Puffy or Foolish babysit if there’s ever time they can't.

-Tommy is a lot less of a hovering helicopter parent then the others and was the one to finally convince them Michael cant live trapped in a room. Yes, they were all worried for his safety but… you can't raise a kid in a cell, even if it's a nice one. Tommy takes Michael out more

-Tommy started to sleep walking again once they moved in and he still gravitates towards water for some reason. Nothing more startling then waking up because you plunged into frigid below 0 temp water while sleepwalking. Ranboo also enderwalks/sleepwalks more as well and there've been some nights where Tubbo has had to track them both sleepily walking around and make sure they don't hurt themselves or drown or something. At least Ranboo is semi-aware when enderwalking and normally just does weird ender things, Tommy likes to apparently walk into oceans or climb the mansion and nearly fall off and wander hundreds of blocks away. Tubbo’s not salty at all, really.

-Sapnap, Quackity, and Karl are 100% salty the benchtrio got platonically married before they got married

-They fight about last names all the time despite none of them actally taking eachothers last name, and if they happen to pick and choose on which one they’re feeling based on mood, well they can do what they want!

-However its agreed Michael’s last name is hyphenated so he’s now ‘Michael Beloved-Underscore-Innit’

These are all I have for now, feel free to ask about it or use my ideas! <3

[be11atrixthestrange]

According To The Stars

Be11a writes Jily Fluff! Read here or on AO3

*******

According To The Stars

While working on Divination homework, James learns something new about Lily. Good thing Divination is a load of rubbish... or is it?

*******

James wasn't sure if he believed in Divination, or if it was just a load of rubbish. Honestly, one of the only reasons he was still taking the subject was the company — it was on Lily Evans' sixth-year timetable, and therefore his.

His friends had dropped the subject, and they made sure to take the mickey out of him when he signed back up.

"Divination, really James?"

"Why take that when you could have a free period?"

"Is it the subject matter that fascinates you, or is it a certain redhead?"

The questions were rhetorical, and his friends knew that. They were perfectly aware of James' motivation for sticking around in Divination, and they knew that he preferred they weren't there. Not many students continued beyond their O.W.L. year in the subject, and James was happy that Lily was the only other student he knew well. He could assure they would always be partnered up for projects, and he didn't have to worry about anyone swooping in and stealing her attention from him. Not Remus, Sirius, Peter, or worst of all, Snivellus.

James was procrastinating on his Divination essay in the Gryffindor common room when Lily approached him.

"Have you started?" she asked.

"Not yet, I was waiting for you. I was hoping you could help."

"You're smart, you'll figure it out," she said as she took a seat at the table beside him. "It's just a birth chart, anyway."

Just a birth chart. The problem wasn't that James thought birth charts were difficult to understand; it was that he hated the idea of them. The fact that the date, location, and time of his birth supposedly determined his fate really bothered him.

Earlier in class, they had mapped out their star signs, and their homework was to analyze them. He had been feeling a pit of dread all day, simply because he'd have to dive into all of the details of his future. He truly didn't want to know what the stars had to say about his life. In James' opinion, there was no point in knowing how or when he might die, who his future wife would be, how many kids he would have, or what he would do for an occupation. It sucked all of the excitement right out of life and stripped him of his autonomy. He wanted to believe that his choices mattered.

He knew he should take it all with a grain of salt because humans could never fully understand the truth of the stars. Predictions were wrong all the time, and there were always going to be flaws in human methods of telling the future.

But the mere idea that James' future was set in stone made him deeply uncomfortable. Like his friends, he could simply choose not to believe in any of it, but the problem was that he sort of did.

He looked over to see that Lily had already started her essay and was scribbling furiously on her parchment. Reluctantly, he turned back to his own star chart and began writing too.

My name is James Potter, and I was born at 5:45 pm on Sunday, March 27th, 1960, in London, England.

This makes my Sun Sign Aries, my Moon Sign Aries, and my Ascendant Libra.

Sun Sign: Aries

The sun determines our ego, identity, and 'role' in life. It's the core of who we are. On my birthdate — Sunday, March 27th, 1960 — my Sun was in Aries.

I am fundamentally assertive, persistent, and courageous. Naturally competitive and fiercely independent, I push things forward with energy and enthusiasm. I am determined, and I persevere through anything.

James thought back to his time on the Quidditch Pitch, where he would do anything for a victory. He was a risk-taker with a deep desire to win, and that had landed him in the Hospital Wing more times than he'd care to admit. He was definitely independent — although he played Chaser on the Gryffindor team, he much preferred the solitary aspect of Seeker; when playing Chaser, his fellow teammates often badgered him for being a "Quaffle-Hog".

I need to learn to understand other people as complex wholes.

The analysis felt spot-on for James. People were like puzzles, and he enjoyed figuring them out. All-day, James had been riddled with curiosity about Lily's birth chart. He was planning to ask her about it tonight and was excited to get to know her on a deeper level.

I feel the need to distinguish myself from others.

James felt exposed by that one. He was a prankster; he enjoyed his popularity, and he often engaged in what others — mainly professors — would call "attention-seeking behavior." Touche, birth chart, he thought, as he carried on writing.

Moon Sign: Aries

The moon rules our emotions, moods, and feelings, reflecting our personalities when we're alone and comfortable. On my birthdate — Sunday, March 27th, 1960 — my Moon was in Aries.

My emotional self is independent, energetic, and enthusiastic. I have a tendency to feel inadequate and overcompensate just because failure is a possibility.

That one hurt a bit. James immediately felt defensive as he wrote it, but deep down, he knew it was true. As the only son of a well-known and successful family, failure was not an option. He was no stranger to pressure, and sometimes he overcompensated. He was a smart kid, but he often relied on his charm to build connections and network. He knew his smooth-talking could drive some people — mostly Lily — insane, but it was nothing more than a defense mechanism because he truly was terrified of failure.

I find security and safety through close relationships and long-term partnerships.

James held his friends close, and had no idea what he would do without them. He believed they would all be there for him for the rest of his life, and he couldn't entertain the idea that they might not. He would risk his life to protect his friends, and they'd do the same for him. According to his analysis, whether or not his overwhelming trust in others was a strength or a weakness was open to interpretation, and James chose to see it as a good thing. What was the point of life without friends, anyway? He smiled warmly at the thought and continued.

Ascendant: Libra

Our Ascendant is the "mask" we present to people. It can be seen in our personal style and our first impressions. Some say its relevance fades as we age. Our Ascendant is determined by our time of birth — I was born at 5:45 pm, meaning my Ascendant is Libra.

I come across as compromising, courteous, and impartial, though sometimes passive-aggressive.

For most people, he was a compromising and courteous individual, at least for people he liked. Unfortunately, passive-aggressive was a no-brainer as well. Some folks — particularly Snivellus — might say he was a bully. In detention, he'd received lectures about how pranking and cursing others was not the proper way to alleviate interpersonal issues. McGonagall never hesitated to tell him that a calm and rational discussion would be much more effective than a Levicorpus Charm. Admittedly, his methods could be considered passive-aggressive.

I am inclined towards balance.

James was a well-rounded fellow, that was for sure. He was an academic, an athlete, and he maintained a social life quite effortlessly. Balance truly was important to him. There was just one part missing from his ideal balance — a relationship. More specifically, a relationship with Lily.

In fact, that missing piece was one of the first things he looked for when he began his birth chart analysis. On a separate piece of parchment, he had scribbled down a few signs — Aquarius, Sagittarius, Leo, and Gemini. According to the stars, his ideal life partner's Sun, Moon, and Ascendant signs should fall into these categories. Part of him didn't want to know what Lily's chart said, and the rest of him needed to. It could all be rubbish, but maybe it wasn't.

"What are your signs, Lily?"

"Why do you want to know?" she asked.

"Research," he said.

"You want to know my fate?"

"You could say that," he responded. It was partially true — he wanted to know what the stars said about her life, but specifically her compatibility with him.

Lily sighed. "My Sun Sign is Aquarius."

James' stomach fluttered with excitement. Aquarius was one of his most compatible signs, so that was a good start. "And your Moon Sign?"

"Pisces."

He tried not to let the disappointment show on his face. Nowhere on his chart did it say he should look for someone with a Pisces Moon Sign. "What about your Ascendant?"

James froze in anticipation, hoping for Lily to say one of the four options. Two of three compatible signs would make them a decent match.

"Virgo."

His stomach sank. One out of three matching signs wasn't ideal. Sure, it could work, but it meant that Lily wouldn't be his perfect partner. If he were to believe the stars, there was someone else out there that was better suited to him, and he wasn't sure if he wanted that to be true.

"Are you okay?" asked Lily.

James tried his best to smile and mask his fallen expression. He was okay; he just really wished Lily's astrological signs were fully compatible with his, but he didn't feel like he could tell her that. At least not straight-up.

"Do you believe in all of this?" he asked instead.

"Divination?"

"Yeah, but more specifically, this birth chart stuff. Do you believe that this should determine your future? Your personality, your jobs, and who you should be with?"

"Who I should be with?" she asked, her eyes moving to his parchment. She was squinting, and James wondered if she was trying to read his chart. "What are your signs?"

He hesitated before answering. What if she really did believe in all of it, and learning how lukewarm their compatibility was just turned her away? He knew he couldn't get away without telling her, so he took a deep breath and responded. "Aries, Aries, Libra."

Lily didn't say anything at first, and the pit grew in James' stomach the longer she was quiet.

"Lily?" he asked after she'd been silent for a few seconds too long for comfort. "What do you believe?"

"Honestly?" she said. "I believe it's a load of rubbish. At least I hope it is. What about you?"

He felt a wave of relief at her words. "Good. I think it's rubbish too, and I hope we're right."

She smiled at him, and he grinned back, the heat rising to his cheeks. They turned to their essays and began writing again. There was a little bounce in their quills, a mark of the excitement between two teenagers who just — sort of — admitted something big.

James felt better knowing that whatever his birth chart said about his future, his choices did matter. Sure, the stars might have a plan for him, but if they didn't involve the cute Aquarius beside him, he'd happily choose not to believe any of it.

[hauntedbythefanficsofmypast]

When you need a Superfriend

By Nach0Ava

On Archive of Our Own

Tumblr user: @nach0ava

So I have not really watched Supergirl however when I read the first chapter I had to share this with you all! This is the first chapter by Nach0Ava. (Second chapter is on its way as well!) Marinette gets sent away by her parents to America! Please go read Nach0Ava's story!

Summary:

When Tom and Sabine believe Lila's lies, they send Marinette off to live with an old family friend in National City. When living with a government agent and a physiologist, how long is it until she gets figured out?

Chapter 1:

“I don’t understand! Why are you sending me away?”

Marinette looked up at her parents in disbelief. They had just told her that she was going to be sent to live with a family friend. In America! Sure, she could speak fairly good English, but it still didn’t make sense!

“Your recent behaviour has led us to think that the change could be good for you. Kelly and her girlfriend Alex are lovely people, and they might be better equipped to deal with you than we are.”

As her mother spoke, Marinette felt a bitterness rise in her. Of course. Lila. She had made good on her threat, managing to turn even her parents against her. Claiming that she was involved in a gang, she had an older boyfriend, she did drugs, the list went on. And when Tom and Sabine had caught Marinette out past curfew one too many times, they took it as the truth. She couldn’t tell them that she was Ladybug, so all she had was half-hearted excuses. Still, she needed a way to stay in Paris, as she couldn’t be Ladybug somewhere else, and if there was no Ladybug, there was no-one to catch the akuma, and no-one to cast the cure, never mind all her guardian duties…

She was getting off track. She had a goal and she needed to accomplish it. Just like taking down an akuma. Except she couldn’t hit this problem really hard for it to go away.

“Is there any way I could stay in Paris? I’ll switch schools, I’ll go live with grandpa Roland, I’ll do anything!”

Tom and Sabine exchanged a look. They didn’t want to believe it, but they had to make sure.

“Honey, calm down, aren’t you worried about an akuma?”

Marinette started pacing as she rambled, mostly to herself.

“Right, I’ll get upset, then you guys will get mad at me, and then one or both of you will be akumatised and then I’ll have that whole mess to deal with.”

Tom reached out a hand to her shoulder to stop her pacing.

“You aren’t worried about you getting akumatised?”

Marinette shook her head.

“No no, I’ll be fine.”

A slight push from her bag and the looks from her parents made her backtrack.

“I mean, I’m really good at calming down before they get to me, I mean, it’s worked so far right?”

She let out a nervous chuckle while her parents stared at her.

“Marinette… Are you working with Hawkmoth?”

Marinette looked for the start of a smile from her mum, the laughter in her dad’s eyes, anything to say they were joking. When the just kept staring she burst into laughter.

“Haha, you guys… You guys really thought… Haha, that’s hilarious!”

Her parents failed to see the humour and gave her thatlook.

“Remember all those times I’ve been attacked? Reflekta, Horificator, pretty much any akuma that clones or traps people I’ve gotten tangled up in.”

Not technically a lie, she never said she got hitspecifically, but she definitely got attacked.

“Well, maybe you should get out of Paris anyway. It’s clearly not safe here, and maybe it’s best for you to leave. You’ll like it in National City, they even have their own superheros!”

Great. A reminder of what I have to give up because of Lila. She was about to keep protesting, but she felt three quick pushed on her side by Tikki. We need to talk.Her argument died on her tongue and she sighed.

“When am I meant to leave?”

Her parents exchanged relived looks.

“The plane is booked for next Friday. That gives you about a week to pack up. We could mail over a box with all of your sewing things once you get settled, if Kelly and Alex are ok with it of course.”

Marinette fought the eyebrow that was threating to raise. A week? I was hoping for some more time to test and train a new guardian, and a new holder for Tikki. It would be a rush, and there weren’t many people she trusted anymore. Still, there was work to be done, so she had to get started.

“I guess I’ll go start packing then. Can I be un-grounded so I can spend my final week saying goodbye and sorting things out?”

Her parents nodded, glad she was taking this so well.

“Of course honey, just not tonight ok? It’s getting rather late.”

Marinette nodded and ran up to her room, shutting the trapdoor quickly. She went up onto her bed and starting crying into her pillow, feeling the weight of all the kwami comforting her. Eventually she rolled on to her back, drying her tears.

“I’m sorry Tikki, you said you wanted to talk?”

She looked at her expectantly. Marinette already knew what Tikki wanted. She needed to find a new wielder and Guardian, and she shouldn’t have been putting it off, but sometimes it felt good to cry. Tikki came to settle on her lap and patted her leg comfortingly.

“Marinette I know what you’re thinking, and you don’t have to give up being Ladybug or being Guardian. So you better stop that train of thought right now missy.”

Marinette sat up, blinking. How could she… Oh.

“I’m an idiot.”

Tikki giggled while she flew up and booped her nose, while Kaalki sniffed from the corner.

“I can’t believe you forgot about me Guardian. You’ve given me out before!”

Marinette giggled at the kwami’s haughty attitude.

“Sorry Kaalki, I got a bit too emotional to think clearly.”

Kaalki just grabbed a sugar cube with a huff and flew off. Marinette climbed off her bed and grabbed her bright pink suitcase.

“So who wants to help me pack?”

~~<3~~

Chloe, Kagami, Luka and Marinette were all sitting at a table at a café during their lunch break. Luka had graduated already, so he was usually free to hang out. Chloe had come up to Marinette not too long after Lila’s takeover with an apology. Marinette had been wary at first, but Chloe was actually really nice when she wasn’t putting up an act. She had soon proven herself and had been given another chance at being a hero, under the new name Honeybee. Kagami had approached her after Adrien had asked for advice on the Lila situation. She had hated his passive approach, and when she had tried to talk to him about it, he just refused her help, ignoring the fact that he had asked for her help. Kagami had come to offer her help, and they become friends soon after. She had re-claimed the dragon, under the new name Tempête. Luka had heard Lila’s heart song and immediately knew that was someone that he didn’t want to hang around. He had tried warning Juleka and the rest of Kitty Section, but Lila had told them that having an older singer wasn’t a good look. He had been kicked out, and Marinette had been there to comfort him with pastries and musicals. After she had introduced everyone to each other, they had become a tightly knit group. So, as one could imagine, they weren’t taking this well.

“They gave you a week? That’s ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!”

Kagami made a noise of displeasure as well.

“Sending you to America seems a bit extreme, what reason did they give again?”

Marinette scoffed.

“My ‘recent behaviour’ or something like that. Also known as, Lila. Oh, that’s not even the best part.”

Marinette gave out a dry chuckle and everyone looked on in interest.

“Apparently, I’m working with Hawkmoth.”

Luka plucked a string on his guitar, sending out a loud note. Chloe just stared in disbelief, and Kagami made for her foil.

“I’m going to run them through with my sword.”

Kagami gripped it tightly, ready to get up and make good on her threat, but Marinette grabbed it from her, unbothered by the fencer’s unimpressed glare.

“No-one is stabbing anyone. I don’t really have a choice, so I just have to suck it up and deal with it. Besides, it could be good to get away from Lila.”

Chloe was the first to get up to give her a hug, followed by Luka, and then by Kagami, who Marinette wasn’t completely sure that she wasn’t just trying to get her sword back.

“It’ll be ok guys, we can still video chat through Skype or something. I won’t be able to text, because I’ll be on an American phone plan, but we can figure something out!”

Chloe pulled away and took out her phone, tapping away immediately.

“I’m going to get you an amazing phone plan, with unlimited overseas. Same for the rest of you. That way, we can all talk and not worry about the fact that there’ll be an ocean dividing us.”

Marinette slowly took the phone and added it to her slowly growing pile, pointedly ignoring the glare Chloe shot her.

“I’m sure there are other, free, ways to contact each other. I think there’s an online service, what’s the name in English? Chaos or something like that?”

Luka strummed at his guitar in thought before pulling up an app on his phone.

“Is this the one you were thinking of?”

He had opened Discord, in dark mode of course, and had his profile open.

“Yeah, that’s the one! We can talk on there, and it has the bonus of being accessible from computers! So, no reason to go overboard, ok Chloe?”

Chloe humped and opened up the app store, downloading Discord. Kagami noticed what she was doing and mirrored her. They all took a few minutes to make accounts and become friends, before Luka, the one with the most experience, had set up a server for them all. Quickly choosing nicknames, Marinette pocketed her phone with a grin.

“Now that that’s done, anyone want to come help me pick some things to take?”

~~<3~~

It felt like the week passed quickly, lessons passing by in a blur. She didn’t pay much attention, just enough to keep Mrs Bustier satisfied. She didn’t bother alerting anyone in the class (outside of Chloe) that she was leaving, ignoring their taunts and insults. Chloe and Kagami had been big helps in learning how to ignore them, so now they rolled off her like water on a duck. She made sure not to bring anything valuable, most of her stuff was in a suitcase anyway. On her final day, she only had her schoolbooks, the school assigned tablet, and three neatly wrapped gifts. As she was packing up to go meet her friends for a final goodbye, she was stopped by Alya.

“I need you to make a dress for the upcoming school dance.”

Marinette briefly noted that this was a demand, rather than a request, but she just started her usual commission speech with a sigh.

“Depending on the materials used and the time it takes to make, the dress could cost anywhere from €300 to €500. There will also be shipping costs, plus the fact I’m not taking commissions right now, so it will probably be a few weeks before I might be able to get started on it.”

Alya was staring at Marinette like she had grown another head.

“€300, what are you talking about? I’m not paying youfor a dress, and you make mine every year, so what’s the problem? I can’t wait a few weeks, the dance is next weekend!”

Marinette sighed and pushed past the taller girl.

“The problem is that I don’t have time, materials are expensive, and I made you those dresses when we were friends. But we’re not now. So, leave me alone. Goodbye Alya.”

She walked out to meet her friends, leaving Alya behind, too stunned to talk. When she snapped out of it, she grumbled to herself.

“She’ll see reason on Monday. She has no right to refuse after all she’s done to Lila! Maybe if she makes Lila’s dress too, she’ll forgive her! Lila’s nice like that, Marinette will come around after making up for everything she’s done!”

Alya walked away, satisfied, planning her new dress in her mind.

Marinette ran up to her friends, engulfing them in hugs. They all hugged right back, sad to see her go. Marinette suddenly pulled away from the hug, and grabbed three parcels out of her bag. She handed them all out, urging them to open them. Luka opened his first, finding a beanie that perfectly matched his hair, with a teal snake pattern around the rim. Chloe went next, her patience not holding any longer. She got a headband with tiny bees embroidered all along it. Kagami received a red handkerchief, with an elemental dragon on one side, and a storm cloud on the other, a lightning strike going all the way across. They all started to thank her at once, with Marinette just blushing sheepishly.

“I just took note of all your favourite heroes, and added them to a design. It’s not that big of a deal.”

They all hugged again, before the clock chimed behind them, making Marinette jump.

“I have to go! I’ll send you all a message when I land, but you better not stay up for it if it’s late here!”

A chorus of “No promises!” filled her ears as she ran home, taking in the sights one more time. She burst into the bakery to find her mum still working the counter, and her dad busy baking. Not thinking much of it, she went up to her room to grab her belongings. After some quick cuddles from the kwami, she had everything she needed. Most flew into the suitcase, comfy in the hidden area Marinette had made, lined with a soft faux fur. Only Tikki and Kaalki flew into her jacket, ready to transform if need be. They had assured her they wouldn’t show up on the x-ray, so she was fine with having them in there. As she lifted her suitcase and went downstairs, her strength from being Ladybug shining through, she was surprised to see her parents still busy at work.

“Maman, Papa, I thought we were going to the airport now?”

Her parent’s exchanged looks before Tom stopped his baking and walked over.

“Honey, we can’t afford to come with you, we need to keep the bakery open. There’s an Uber outside for you, but you’ll have to go on your own. I’m sorry.”

He pulled her into a hug, one she half-heartedly returned. She walked over to hug her mum as well, and went outside with her suitcase.

This was it.

She was really being sent away.

All because of some dumb liar.

With a comforting press coming from inside her jacket, she got in the Uber, prepared to start her new life.

[acousticcheeze]

Here's my 100 questions for my OC thing!

My OC is Laureli, a 6'2 Altmer trying to make his way in Skyrim

1. What do they smell like?

Whatever alchemy ingredient he’s been working with, really. Lavender is what he smells like most often, though.

2. What is their voice like?

A smooth-ish medium pitch Altmer voice that has elements of calm and irritation.

3. What is their biggest motivator?

Helping others through his alchemy. He wants to improve medicine for Skyrim, as well as all of Tamriel.

4. What is their most embarrassing memory?

He had a whole scientific presentation one year that ended up being completely wrong. He got humiliated in front of everyone.

5. How do they deal with/react to pain?

Winces at it, curses, and then gets to treating the problem.

6. What do they like to wear?

Functional clothes that keep him warm and allow him to carry alchemy ingredients in his pockets.

7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?

The relationships with some of the people he’s helped over the years. It gave him a sense of purpose and fulfillment knowing that he could help people, save people.

8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?

He’s an alchemist...in Skyrim...I’m pretty sure there are a few contenders… (giants toe, large/small antlers, ectoplasm, the list goes on)

9. Describe the way that they sleep.

Normal side sleeper. Prefers to sleep on his left side.

10. What is their favorite food/kind of food?

Horker stew. It’s actually way better than he thought it would be.

11. What do they feel most insecure about?

If what he’s doing is good enough. He has big problems with perfectionism that still persist with him even after leaving Summerset.

12. How do they like to dress?

Robes with an alchemy enchantment and a hood.

13. How do they react to feelings of guilt?

He tries to shake them off, but has panic attacks and whatnot sometimes as a result of them.

14. How do they react to/deal with betrayal?

Is completely shattered by it. He’s dealt with this so many times before, though, so he keeps his cards close to his chest.

15. What is their greatest achievement?

Creating potions that help much more than the average cure disease potion would, as well as all sorts of other concoctions. Also, he’s created a sort of disinfectant and is working on a hand sanitizer.

16. What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep?

Cranky, cranky, cranky.

17. What are they like when they’re drunk?

Drunk? Oh no no no no Laureli does not drink (and even if he did he’d be out real quick)

18. What kind of music do they enjoy?

He isn’t really into music, but he enjoys the songs the bard plays at the Bannered Mare.

19. Are they right or left handed?

Right, but is practicing with his left hand too in case something happens to his right.

20. Fears?

Death and failure, mostly.

21. Favorite kind of weather?

As the sun rises and there’s dew all over the grass, the light reflecting through each drop.

22. Favorite color?

The color of eyes. Or, more specifically, the hundreds of little pinpricks of different colors inside of eyes, It’s really quite fascinating.

23. Do they collect anything?

OH YEAH. So many different alchemy ingredients and random stuff to be used in his next works-

24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?

Cold, which is good since he lives in Skyrim.

25. What is their eye color?

Chartreuse (like most Altmer)

26. What is their race/ethnicity?

Altmer

27. Hair color?

White

28. Are they happy where they are currently?

Yup. Breezehome is small, but manageable, and Whiterun is a decent hold to live in.

29. Are they a morning person?

Yes. He gets tired around 9 and can’t stay up past 12.

30. Sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise.

31. Are they more messy or more organized?

Very organized. Again, he’s a perfectionist.

32. Pet peeves?

People touching his things as well as people inserting themselves into his business.

33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?

An amulet of Talos a Nord gave him. He hadn’t gotten the chance to learn much about Talos at home, and he found it very interesting talking to the local Nords about their beliefs. That amulet reminds him of his first day in Skyrim, the first day of his new life.

34. Least favorite food?

Taffy treats, or anything with that sort of texture and stickiness that can get stuck to his teeth very easily.

35. Least favorite color?

Very pale green. It looks gross.

36. Least favorite smell?

Death. (Yes, death has a smell)

37. When was the last time they cried?

Recently.

38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried?

No. Oh Auri-el, no no no no. He cries alone and he makes sure of it.

39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured?

Was in a fire when he was younger, he has a burn going up the inner leg on his right leg.

40. Do they have any scars?

Only mental ones. (and the burn scar on his leg)

41. Do they struggle with any mental health issues?

Perfectionism, past abuse, self hate, among others.

42. Do they have any bad habits?

Picking at his nails. He knows it makes them hurt and get bloody, but sometimes he just can’t help it.

43. Why might someone dislike them?

He can be very rude if he’s working, but to be fair, it is really annoying to be bothered in the middle of your work.

44. Why might someone love them?

Who wouldn’t love an overworked science boye? But in all seriousness, if he loves someone, he will be very caring towards them and is also just great listener. Tries not to care any more though because of personal trauma.

45. Do they believe in ghosts?

Yup. He’s heard of people’s encounters with them. Honestly, you’d be stupid to not believe in them.

46. Is there anyone they would trust with their lives?

At this point? No. Farkas later down the line? Yes.

47. Are they romantically interested in anyone?

Farkas, but we ain’t talking about that yet~

48. Are they dating/married to anyone?

No

49. Do they like surprises?

No. Please do not surprise this poor man he will stagger back and crash into everything.

50. When is their birthday?

9th of Hearthfire (September 9th)

51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday?

He takes a few seconds to acknowledge it and then gets on with his work.

52. Do they have any family?

Yup! A Mom, a Dad, a younger sister, and a male cousin that lives nearby (he’s in the Thalmor and the whole family has very Pro-Thalmor views)

53. Are they close to their family?

HAH- no~

54. What is their MBTI type?

INTJ (Damn this list for making me look up stereotypes for this. Honestly I hate the MBTI system so much-)

55. What is their zodiac sign?

Virgo

56. What Hogwarts House would they be in?

Ravenclaw

57. What D&D alignment are they?

If lawful chaotic good was a thing then yes

58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?

Yes, but they are often so tangled up that it’s hard to get any real meaning from them.

59. What are their views on death?

“It’s fine, it’s fine, I’ll be fine-” Hopes that he’ll be fine but is really scared about it.

60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?

Bad science puns. He will stifle a chuckle before telling you how bad your joke was.

61. When bored, how do they pass time?

This man does not get bored. He will always find something alchemy related to study or look into.

62. Do they enjoy being outside?

Yes. Laureli loves the Skyrim weather (for the most part. Places like Dawnstar and Winterhold suck)

63. Do they have an accent?

Yes. He has the typical Altmer accent.

64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?

“Why is this here? This isn’t mine.”

65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say

He would probably take too long deciding and die before he could do/say anything.

66. How do they feel about sex?

Sex repulsed asexual.

67. What is their sexuality?

GAY

68. Do they become squeamish at the sight of blood?

Nope.

69. Is there anything that they find really gross?

He’s seen so much it would take a lot to surprise him here.

70. Which TV Trope(s) best describes them?

Grumpy scientist with no people skills.

71. Do they enjoy helping people?

Yes, definitely

72. Are they allergic to anything?

Not really. (Lucky)

73. Do they have a pet?

No

74. Are they quick to anger? What are they like when they loose their temper?

Nope, unless you press his buttons. His anger is pretty much “What in the name of Auri-el is wrong with you?! Don’t touch my equipment!!”

75. How patient are they?

Very...until you hit his limit. Then he gets passive aggressive.

76. Are they good at cooking?

Not really. He can be good at it, he just chose not to learn in favor of working on his projects. Can make enough to live on, though.

77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?

He doesn't have a favorite insult (he rarely insults people).

78. How do they act when they’re particularly happy?

Talking fast, pacing, flappy hands.

79. What do they do when they learn about other people’s fears?

Try to avoid bringing those fears up around them and avoiding making fun of them. If their fear is nearby, he will either tell them or take care of it. (which is good because Farkas is scared of spiders)

80. Are they trustworthy?

Yes, but you have to be a very certain kind of person to work with him.

81. Do they try to hide their emotions? Are they good at it?

Sometimes, especially romantic feelings. Romantic attraction? Nope, not possible- (It totally is; he’s in denial)

82. Do they exercise regularly?

With all of the walking he does around various holds, yes.

83. Are they comfortable with the way they look?

Yes. He’s a perfectionist with many things, but has learned to let go a bit more when it comes to his appearance. He still will take ages to get ready, though.

84. What are some physical features that they find attractive on people?

Tattoos, braids, basically everything you’d see on a typical Nord. It’s so different from his home and he’s completely enamored.

85. What kind of personalities do they find attractive?

Himbo nord men. Sweet morons basically.

86. Do they like sweet foods?

Not really. Sweet foods do have their place, but he isn’t wanting to get any cavities, so he tries to limit his sugar. (Especially since Altmer live 200-300 years aprox)

87. What is their age?

52 (~20s for an Altmer)

88. Are they tall or short or somewhere in between?

Tall, but about average for an Altmer

89. Do they wear glasses or contacts?

No, but if he did he would have half-moon spectacles.

90. Do they consider themselves attractive?

Not really. He doesn’t really think anyone is attractive. (Well, except for Nord himbos, but he doesn’t know that until he meets Farkas)

91. What is their sense of humor like?

Practically nonexistent, but when there is humor it’s mostly dry and sardonic.

92. What mood are they most often in?

That sort of focused work mode you get in when you’re really concentrating, as well as somewhat-sociable-but-still-kind-of-tired-and-grumpy

93. What kinds of things anger them?

People messing up his equipment. Oh sweet Auri-el, if you touch his things he will explode. Also, he hates the racism that the Thalmor promote. (He hates racism in general, but he hates the Thalmor’s views the most).

94. Outlook on life?

“It sucks, but I do find quite a bit fascinating and I’ll help where I can.”

95. What kind of things make them sad/depressed?

His perfectionism, how lonely he knows he is, and more.

96. What is their greatest weakness?

Again, his perfectionism, as well as having his work dictate more in his life than he should.

97. What is the greatest strength?

His brain. He remembers small details extremely well, and is practically an encyclopedia when it comes to alchemy.

98. Something that they regret?

How awful he used to be to everyone back home. He got a lot of pushback on his dreams and who he was, so he lashed out. Even though there wasn’t much he could do there, he still regrets hiring his family and wants to try at a relationship again with them (lol good luck).

99. Biggest accomplishment?

How is this different from “Greatest Achievement”?

100. Create your own! (Why is his alchemy so different from the norm?)

Because he’s trying to do something much more along the lines of modern medicine as opposed to just potions.

101. (Bonus!) Why is he in Skyrim?

Because it’s rather lacking in the medicine department compared to the other provinces, so he decided his talents would be best used there. Obviously, his family protested, but he went anyways.

[thenightlymartini]

Headcannon #62

So this was one that I answered but, upon realizing their wording, I deleted that response to properly answer.

This relates to my headcannon #53 relating to who is more prone to jealousy. The anon wanted to know how they handle jealousy.

Sorry Anon. This is why I usually take my time with answering asks and not do them so early in the morning because then my dumb morning mind does these kinds of mistakes.

Kimchiburger: Neither of these two typically are the jealous types (if we ignore SK’s initial lack-of-self-esteem-based-jealousy in the beginning mostly directed at Japan). However, if it gets to the point where, hypothetically, they haven’t spent time together in a long enough time but they almost seem like they will hang out with anyone other than their s/o, then both will get jealous.

If America is feeling jealous, he kind of gets bratty about it. Like he will try his hardest to make SK run late to his meet ups by holding on to him as much as possible and make it super obvious that he wants SK to stay home with him. This is usually enough of a hint for SK to understand what America is really going off about.

If SK is feeling jealous, he tends to make more glares directed towards the object of America’s attention. He’s done it to a lot of nations (to which he will apologize about ASAP cause he was letting his emotions get the better of him), and even to some politicians and humans. He also tends to get into a more fouler mood, often answering America’s questions with short-handed responses like “Fine” or “Whatever” or “Sure”. These types of actions and expressions usually is enough for America to at least catch a hint that something is amiss, but it takes him a moment to realize it’s jealousy, no matter how many times he sees this happen.

Either way, these two sit down and have a very civil discussion about the problem and is gets resolved with kisses and date nights soon after.

RusNK: Now, Russia typically does not get jealous. Like once in a blue moon does he ever get jealous. NK, on the other hand, is the King of Jealousy. It would not take much for him to get jealous, though he at least keeps some level of common sense.

If Russia were being jealous, it’s practically amusing, like he will get corny and punny. Like one time, Russia, for some reason he wasn’t quite sure of himself, was getting jealous that NK was reading a book so often that it was cutting into their together time. So what does he do? He slots himself in-between the book and NK and asks “How about you read me instead?” NK gets so caught off guard by these attempts due to their infrequency and the pure ridiculousness of it that he actually laughs and shifts his focus back on Russia. These times of Russia showing he’s jealous is a lot more light hearted.

If NK was jealous, he gives off a more “bitter” vibe in public than anything else cause he at least keeps some level of common sense, and it usually is a result from not getting enough attention. He lets it out in private when it is just the two of them. Usually some of the thought process involves NK thinking that the reason Russia isn’t paying enough attention to him is because he isn’t being that receptive himself. Thus, NK starts getting very affectionate, like making the first moves in cuddling, catering to Russia, making his flirting obvious as a brick wall, the works. Russia knows NK well enough by now that it is purely a feeling of lacking affection and is mostly harmless, so he indulges NK while providing some reassurance like “You had me at ‘hello’, there’s really no need to worry, but sorry for making you think that way.” 

Commieburger: So while the above two are fairly tame and calm, these two are not.

As referenced in my earlier headcannon, America’s jealousy is passive, because not being able to show affection to NK while watching others freely do so was expected due to the political circumstances. He tries his best to make up for it with boat loads of affection when they are alone together. This wasn’t always the case, and was a result of his very first instance of jealousy that didn’t go over so well.

His first instance of jealousy was when he saw interactions between NK and China and/or Russia shortly after beginning to date him. At this point, America didn’t quite have it in his head that these types of interacts and his lack of ability to do so was going to happen. His jealousy got so bad that he started to over act for appearances. Like if he needed to have a private conversation with NK he would yank him hard, or made really hurtful snide comments directed towards NK that went past the acting that they usually do. This, once the two were alone, set NK off. They got into a physical altercation with each other, like straight up grappling and pinning each other while arguing. 

It wasn’t until some point when NK has him hardcore pinned that he lets out the honest, harshest truth about their relationship from the Korean’s perspective. Yeah, it sucks that they can’t show affection in public, yes it sucks that they have to pretend, he doesn’t like it just as much as America, but this was going to happen. And, despite that, NK was willing to take a risk with dating him because for once in his harsh life, he felt hope. Hope that things would change. That he wasn’t going to be doomed forever as the world’s pariah. That he and his brother could be on good terms again. That their relationship actually stood a chance. Hope that he could feel happy again. NK got so passionate that tears had begun to fill the corners of his eyes, and that broke America. He cried, too, unable to say anything but apologies and be self-destroying. They laid in bed together afterwards just trying to calm down and really let everything sink in. NK solidified that they were still okay by saying his first ‘I love you’ to him. This whole argument resulted in America trying to find healthier ways to address his jealousy, thus showering NK with as much affection as he can.

Now, NK on the other hand, he gets super jealous. Again, most of the time he gets sarcastic and bitter if it is relatively small, such as tasks. One thing that does get the worst of his jealousy, as mentioned before, is when America pays attention more to SK. That causes so much bitter resentment to rise up and it makes himself question their whole relationship due to his inferiority complex and thinking he is just being used. This usually results in heated arguments between the two followed by quiet apologies after a cooling off period. America knows by now that NK gets jealous very easily; anything to do with SK is just the worst of it. He doesn’t necessarily get angry about it, since he does understand NK’s past enough to know that this was a long standing issue long before they even met, at least with the inferiority complex. They usually have fewer arguments once they attempt to find healthier ways to communicate such touchy topics, and the arguments decrease drastically once NK becomes more secure about America’s feelings.

[sunnywritesstuff34]

Working

hello! It is time for more Boruto AU, with Sasuke this time! @ghostjellyfishheart was excited for this, so enjoy lmao. I apologize in advance for this. Just. Disregard the choppy transitions. Tune in next whenever for Boruto being incredibly confused by Sasuke and trying to figure out how to adjust to living in his house. It’s incredibly awkward. Can’t wait. 

(TW and CW for: unconsciousness, coma, critical injuries, tired Sasuke Uchiha, angry Boruto, probably ooc Kakashi and like six other ooc people, death, parental death, possible parental death, cursing, the Uchiha Massacre, one night stands, Sasuke is trying very hard okay he’s doing his best, both of them are good dads because I wanted them to be okay?)

Sasuke Uchiha was angry. No, scratch that, he wasn't angry, he was pissed. He was furious. He was beyond angry, he had reached the peak of anger and transcended to another plane, and that was something he didn't even think possible. For starters, it's not like his day was going well to begin with. Kakashi had stuck him with way too much to do, endless goddamn paper work. Apparently sharingan was mostly for battle, because it really didn't do shit when it came to focusing. And it's not like his paperwork wasn't important, it was. He had to review a series of reports from high profile shinobi on their teams and the work of their teammates, so and so and so and so, it was always something. 

In all honesty, he had signed up for this. Well, okay, he didn't sign up for it, but he agreed to it. After Naruto’s disappearance Sasuke was just about ready to throw himself into as many dangerous situations as far from Konoha as possible, but no. He didn't know whose idea it was, maybe Tsunade’s, maybe Sakura’s, maybe Kakashi came up with it all on his own, whatever. Now he was working as Kakashi’s right hand man (and shadow in a lot of ways) and, in his own word’s, the Hokage’s “Don't Be Stupid And Callous And Hurt People For The Greater Good Because It Really Didn't Go Well Last Time” reminder. He really was doing good work, he caught multiple oversights and made sure to hold Kakashi to his word about the decline of execution, especially for missing-nin. He nearly punched Ibiki in the nose about sixteen times for being ridiculous, but what the hell did he expect? Changing things on a fundamental level and rebuilding at the same time were hard, it was pretty tempting to fall back on old methods. It was largely Sasuke’s job to prevent that from happening, and he was really good at doing it without murdering anyone, surprisingly (though he came close a couple of times.) The destruction of the Foundation was extensive and incredibly difficult, and it was surprising to pretty much everybody except for Sasuke just how deeply corrupted the village was. They were also changing up Anbu, though that was still an ongoing process. Sai helped quite a bit in the destruction of the Foundation, and helped develop some sort of rehabilitation for people indoctrinated into it like him. He was very passionate about it, something that Sasuke totally understood. It was personal. 

All things considered, there were two reasons that Sasuke didn't cut and run as soon as Naruto wasn't around to keep him anchored any more. The opportunity for bettering Konoha and the shinobi world as a whole and… well… Sarada. Sasuke and Sakura had Sarada around the same time that Naruto had Boruto with Hinata (say that ten times fast) albeit in a less… graceful manner. Naruto and Hinata had a child after getting married due to mutual affection, and Sasuke and Sakura had a child because of… well, a one night stand. 

In hindsight, though it hadn't worked out with Sakura, he was grateful to have Sarada. She was a sort of anchor that kept him from running yet again, especially seeing as Sakura was busy running the hospital/teaching the next generation of medical nin/finding new techniques for medical advancement and health/going on a mission every once in a while. She was also, you know, his daugther, and he loved her. Sakura’s parents had a fit when they found out, and they had an even bigger fit when they realized that the two of them weren't getting married any time soon. If Sakura had decided that a marriage was best, Sasuke likely would have gone along with that. What else was he supposed to do? It wouldn't be fair to her, especially in the eyes of traditional families and clans. Sakura, of course, was having none of that, and Sasuke was incredibly relieved. Sasuke had raised his daughter for the most part, and he loved her more than anything, but it was clear to anyone with eyes that Sasuke Uchiha wasn't necessarily the image of “perfect father.” At first, he thought of Sarada as an ambiguously important responsibility, as cold as that sounded. But then she was born, and she had legs and arms and a brain and feelings, so of course he became attached. Actually, she was sixteen at that point, and she had become an excellent kunoichi. In fact, she was taking the jounin exams soon, which Ashina might be too if Naruto had stayed. Speaking of Naruto…

Sasuke had no idea why he was surprised. It seemed that no matter where Naruto was or how many years it had been since they'd seen each other, he would always, always be a pain in the ass. That would never change. Of course Naruto would show up with his children in the Forest of Death. Of course he would do it while Sasuke was swamped with work and trying to help his daughter prepare for the exams. Of course, of course, of course. Not that he was complaining (he was), at least not in the long run. It was better that Naruto come back eventually, but twelve entire years? That was a long time. A very long time, with no explanation. Just to show how thoroughly Sasuke was swamped, he heard the news in the middle of an incredibly important meeting with the daimyo and Kakashi. That didn't stop him from rushing to the hospital anyway, but it was inconvenient. Whatever, Kakashi (the damn slacker) would probably survive without him. Ino arrived distressed and covered in blood, only to deliver the message of a lifetime. Kakashi pretended not to care, especially since he was in the middle of a meeting and Naruto was technically a missing-nin. But he did care, obviously, he was just very good at compartmentalizing. Sasuke was too, but Naruto and Sarada seemed to be the only exceptions to this rule. So, he took off without explanation and rushed like hell to the hospital, because Ino said that Naruto had been in critical condition. The idiot always managed to get hurt somehow, but if he died before Sasuke got to chew him out for vanishing, he would resurrect the bastard so he could pound him into the dirt. Or hug him and never let go. It was a toss up, either one. Sasuke’s chakra was flashing dangerously, and it made everyone around him nervous, but at this point he could care less. The Uchiha opened the doors to the hospital and rushed to the front desk, but he was intercepted by an exhausted looking Ino.

“Where is he?” Sasuke blurted, and she glared at him momentarily.

“I'll tell you where, but it's not that simple Sasuke, you can't just rush in there-”

“Tell me where he is,” Sasuke growled. 

“Sasuke-”

“Ino why can't you just-”

“Sasuke Uchiha!” she shouted in a way that sounded suspiciously like the few memories he had of his mother. He blinked. “Would you listen to someone for once in your entire goddamn life? God, you're just as frustrating as Sakura said you were. Naruto is stable for now, but he’s in comatose. Hopefully he’ll survive. But his kids are sitting in the room with him, and if you storm in there all furious, you'll scare the shit out of them. If you have to go in there, do it slowly and calmly. And Shikamaru says they go by Boruto and Himawari, not Ashina and Natsu. They must have changed their names at some point. Either way, you need to calm down.” Sasuke paused, because (damn her) Ino was right. He had to calm down. He was pretty threatening on his own, but to these kids, who were already worried about their father? He collected himself briefly as Ino sighed. “He’s asleep in room 306. Please be careful.” 

“Thanks, Ino,” he managed before practically launching himself past her. Just before he turned down the hall, he paused. “And Ino,” he called over his shoulder. “If Neji comes by… tell him to go to hell.” With that he was off. The room wasn't hard to find, and he threw the door open. It was a private room, no other beds except the one where Naruto lay. He sucked in a breath when he saw him, because it had been so long and frankly the man looked terrible. His breathing was shallow and he was way too pale, but he was alive. God, he was alive, at least he was alive. Sasuke could hardly believe it. Naruto was alive, and he was here. He was so caught up in his own head that he didn't notice the two children sitting by the door until he turned around to face them. He froze in place as an awkward silence settled, and the first thing he could think was oh my god, he looks just like him. Ashina- no, Boruto, looked just like Naruto used to, he was nearly identical except for Boruto’s eyes being a slightly lighter shade of blue. There was a girl sitting next to him that looked alarmingly like Hinata, and she was watching him with more curiosity than defensive aggression like her brother. 

“And who the hell are you?” Boruto demanded. Sasuke blinked. 

“I um. I am an old friend of Naruto’s. I- I had to see him. My name’s Sasuke Uchiha.” 

“Boruto- Boruto Namikaze,” the kid explained begrudgingly. Sasuke sat down in one of the chairs against the wall, a few away from Boruto and Himawari so that Boruto could watch him from a safe distance. He’d picked up a thing or two about skittish children in his time, and he figured the best course of action was to remain passive until Boruto let down his guard. Like an unruly cat that hisses whenever you get too close to it. 

“What… what happened?” Sasuke asked, trying to start a conversation in a totally subtle way. Boruto winced and hesitated, almost looking… guilty.

“We got ambushed. That's all. He tried to keep us safe and it didn't… It's complicated.”

“Ah,” Sasuke muttered. “Right. Naruto is my friend, I've known him since we were kids. He’s always one for reckless endeavors.”

“Sometimes,” Boruto conceded. “I guess. He’ll… he’ll be okay. He has to be.”

“He will,” Sasuke assured him before he could stop himself. “He’s strong. Sakura Haruno is one of our top medical nin, she's not here right now, but she should be back from her mission soon, and she especially will be when she knows that Naruto is here. He's very important to us.” Boruto glanced over at him, tearing his eyes from his father. 

“How did you know him?” he asked tentatively. Sasuke smiled without realizing it. 

“He's my best friend. We went to the academy together, we fought in the Fourth Shinobi War. He was always there. He’s important to all of us, before he… before he left.” Boruto looked away nervously. 

“Right,” he muttered. “Of course, that makes… that makes so much sense. I mean, I always wondered how he learned ninjutsu, I guess- I guess it makes sense for him to be from a Hidden Village. I just never…” Sasuke stared at him for a moment.

“He never told you?” Boruto shook his head and traded a glance with Himawari. 

“No. He never talked about anything from before we were born. I never asked because it just… made him sad, I guess. I didn't like making him think about it.” Sasuke nodded numbly. Did he regret it, he wondered silently. Did he regret leaving? Did he ever think about coming back? The door opened just then and Boruto tensed again, whipping his head to the door. Kakashi stood in the doorway with Sai behind him. 

“Hello. It seems Sasuke made it here first.” Boruto eyed him warily, moving closer to his sister. Kakashi took one look at the bed and then looked away, trying to not think about it for the time being. He turned his attention to Boruto instead.

“Well Boruto Namikaze, it looks like we have a lot to talk about. But it's been a long day for you two, and I think we’d best keep the hard conversations for tomorrow, hm?” Boruto must have read that as a threat because he bristled at the words, and Sasuke silently wondered how, despite years and years and years of experience, Kakashi never got any better at learning how to speak to children. Sai watched pensively, like an owl, tilting his head. Sasuke could understand Boruto’s nerves, especially considering the company he was in. Sasuke silently cursed Sakura for leaving at the worst time possible, but he knew it wasn't her fault. 

“You should try and get some sleep tonight, we’ll probably have more information on Naruto’s condition in the morning. Don't worry, Sasuke’s house is comfortable.” Sasuke shot to his feet.

“What?” he demanded. Kakashi looked at him lazily.

“Oh yeah, sorry about that. I think it'd be best for the two of them to stay with you for the time being. You have a child of your own, and lord knows I wouldn't trust anybody else to do it. Sorry Sasuke, I promise i'll pay you overtime. I can have somebody else handle your paperwork for a few weeks.” Sasuke blinked as the children looked between the man and his teacher. Finally, the Uchiha gritted his teeth.

“Of course, Hokage-sama,” he growled. “It would be an honor.” Kakashi nodded.

“See? It's not that complicated. I have business to attend to, I'll have a conversation with you tomorrow, Sasuke.” With that he was gone, and Sasuke found himself alone with two children. Two. he had his hands full with one, and now he would have to take care of three. And they were Naruto’s children, lord only knows what they would get up to. 

“Um,” Sasuke started. “I… I suppose… we should go… home.” Boruto hesitated before standing, tossing one glance over his shoulder at his father before walking out the door. Please wake up soon, Naruto Sasuke thought silently. But there were a few things Sasuke didn't realize at the time, and wouldn't for weeks. Naruto wouldn't be waking up, at least, not at first. 

Kyuubi would. 

[soopysoap]

Uh, I read your post about having an 80's au for the foreigen kids. And since I'm a Foreigen kids stan, can you tell me more about it?

HI. ANON? ILY.

They're really just random n messy ideas and i forget how many there are but i'm throwing them all here

so the whole thing takes place in highschool and mainly surrounds the cockswolds cotswolds (mainly mark but rebecca is usually there too)

most of them are seniors, rebecca's a junior

mark is an unpopular nerd, therefore the main character because it's the 80s. so is rebecca but she's not the main character

uhh everyone else is kinda just there

like there are no side characters all the foreign kids are kinda equal focus- wise but the main one is mark i guess

like the leader of their group idk idk

estella is the stereotypical rich popular girl, but she's also a closeted lesbian they're all closeted tbh so she's trying to hide that from her mom. Her mom, instead of being all 'Blah blah blah brrak hearts to fuel my life' or something she's just obsessed with status and how popular Estella is. She's always pleased when Estella has a boyfriend, but it's not often. Basically Estella is more smiley and happy than she usually is, but she's stil usually indifferent. Smiles either when she's genuinely happy or wants something. Most of the time she's deadpan or rolling her eyes

Gaydamien is the rich popular jock, his ego is huge. His dad (since he cant be the son of satan in this one) is the principal of their school. He usually gets what he wants, no matter what. Instead of "You dare [insert something here] to the Prince of Hell????" its that but with "Damien Thorn???" yknow because of his last name. He's been dating Estella to boost his ego, mainly. Doesn't realize he likes guys yet. Estella and Damien hate each other, but everyone believes they're dating because they're too scared to say otherwise. They complain about each other to each other AND to people in private.

Pip is just- he's less of a nerd but more of a kid that's just. There. He isn't nerdy but he definitely isn't popular. At all. He's just a pushover man idk what to tell you. He's usually being bullied. He has a huge crush on Damien, because he got him out of trouble with some other jock like. Once. Always gets giggly around him, it's funny to watch. Also very passive aggressive @ Estella because she's dating him. They have very few classes together, but whenever they do he's always like "hey :) so hows damien" and she responds with "why would i know" and he's like "because??? youre dating him???" and she looks really confused for a second and then is like "OH- Oh yeah okay uh. I don't know. So." and then she starts complaining about him or something and pip is all ":) why not just break up?"

Pip also hates Christophe

Which, speaking of, Christophe is also an annoying egotistical jock who plays football with Damien. Damien and Christophe are best friends. Christophe and Gregory are dating in secret

Gregory is the stereotypical gay kid. No other way to put this. If Ryan Evans from High School Musical had a superiority complex. He's a theatre kid, and takes pride in tha- OH MY GOD. Rachel??? Maybe he's Rachel Berry from Glee??? it would kind of work idk,, ok uh anyway yeah he's always bullied for being openly gay and it sucks but he took defense classes in Yardale (yes he's still a transfer from Yardale, yes he constantly mentions it) so he's able to hold his own. But Christophe usually steps in to get Gregory out of there and tend to his wounds.

Rebeccaaaaaa she's the unpopular girl, just started school and doesnt know shit about it after being homeschooled almost her whole life. Has a little crush on Estella, but Estella "Doesn't" notice her. (Estella just thinks of her as some pretty girl who isnt worth her time) Rebecca usually keeps to herself, is usually gossiped about. Estella never gets involved, but whenever she'd get asked about it, instead of defending Rebecca she just says "I hardly believe any of the rumors. She was homeschooled, not taught in witchcraft or satanisim. Or whatever else everyone's saying. Everyone should really calm themselves, if they were so worried about what people thought of them when Rebecca started going here then they should get that in order first before ruining Rebecca's social life. God. You all have to grow up." So, not necessarily a defense but also not an insult. Rebecca still finds it sweet.

Mark is a neerrrrrrd 80s main character. Minus the popular love interest and yearning 😩 And also if the main character had a god/superiority complex.. he's bullied the most other than Gregory, mostly by Damien n Christophe. Girls don't like him, guys don't like him, he really only had Pip and Rebecca for a while. Pip because he's overly nice to almost everyone and wanted to befriend Mark immediately. Usually during lunch Mark sits with Pip and Rebecca. Mark has to hear about Damien all the time from Pip though, so that's annoying.

Uh I know that Pocket is TECHNICALLY a foreign kid but idk shit about him and dont really think about him but he's Estella's cousin and often hangs out with her since he doesn't really have a friend group. He's also really good friends with Pip. BUT since this is a horror au he dies off early

After theyre all friends some stuff happens yada yada yada Gaymien realizes he's pan and has a crush on Pip, Estella takes Rebecca out for a makeover , Christophe gets severely injured because this is a horror au as well, Damien and Pip make out at some point-

Estella and Rebecca both know that theyre Lesbians but they refuse to admit that they like each other

Kinda thinking of this as if it was stranger things or something so i definitely want there to be like... a series of bad events. everyone thinks everythings cool and fine and whatever and there are moments where our group kinda just get to chill n' be kids. idk i just want there to be a falling out in the group and then they all realize they need each other or something dumb like that

also for some fun chill moments we can have estella and rebecca walking around holding hands and laughing n' stuff bc they love each other idk idk

and after the falling out when they all join together again estella is the first to see some scary stuff but she was also the first to drop everyone except damien and christophe (because of her mother) and so she blames herself and doesnt think she can go to them and just has to deal with it on her own

eventually she tells damien who immediately tells pip who immediately wants to get the group together again

everyone's (the cockswolds) are reluctant to hang out again because of the way they were just forgotten so easily, but they go anyway. because of the horror stuff. they both are pissed at estella though

at some point estella gets badly hurt and rebecca saves her and starts nursing her back to health

estella: why are you... why are you doing this. dont you hate me?

rebecca: i'm doing it because i actually care for you, idiot.

estella: i care for you i just... couldnt...

rebecca: what? spend time with a lowlife like me?

estella: you know thats not what i meant-

they go on like that for a little while longer until they wind up confessing to each other "Because I love you! Is that so fucking hard to believe?!" Would be rebecca's and Estella's would probably be "I don't hate you! You're my favorite person, and I hated having to stop hanging out with you! I love you, okay?!" it would be :) fun

damien and estella come out to each other first. well- damien doesnt really come out he just tells her how confused he is and they hug it out and estella tells him she's a lesbian and they both talk a little while longer and decide that breaking up would be the best idea

thats all i've really figured out for sure,, i have some more ideas but this is. a lot already so. i'm just gonna stop before i write too much 👉👉 anyway, anon ily ty for this. also sidenote: the horror stuff has to do with weird sacrificial cults. i know i have nothing for that and really only talked about how everything starts and drama instead of the interesting stuff but 🥴 i have no defense i just love my kids ok drama is fun

[liyuesbian]

yeah I honestly liked all of the inazuma 5* quests we've done so far! I think they all added something to those respective characters, save for ayaka's (it did further her characterization but also,,, a literal date. I think it was endearing but it made her feel kinda 2d? idk) I feel like the first two were kinda filler mostly because 2.0 was sorta the calm before the storm,,, (although why were we so passive fjdsfks i feel like the traveler needs to seek out stuff by themselves more lmao) raiden is finally someone who's both girlboss and kind and not reduced to either extreme (or limited to "(hot) wife material"), which is very very good

about the archons: YEAH I love Zhongli very much but I think he owes the adepti (at least) a Full explanation... he did mention that he hinted to both the Qixing and adepti that he's not dead but ganyu's dialogue when we were getting glaze lilies for the rite of parting AAAA I was so miffed Zhongli couldn't have taken her aside to tell her right there. Xiao too, literally they would be so worried for him and they deserve to hear it from him personally dammit >:|

I think the reasoning for the "test" was like. the traveler has a voiceline that basically says: if people knew Morax walked through Liyue every day, they would just go to him for advice, hang onto his every word and try to analyze and reanalyze it all the time, like with Ningguang's paper snow. I feel like that would be the scenario if Morax stepped down peacefully, since everyone would know he still exists; he doesn't get a good retirement and Liyue still relies on gods too much. trying to drown the city was a bit overkill (childe... o-o) but I will hesitantly trust Zhongli when he says he could and would save Liyue if it truly needed him.

also true true! the people still really believe in the archons, even with barbatos who's been absent for so long (venti...), and even after their gnoses are gone and all. it's cool how they have vastly different governance styles but their whole nation More or Less respects them

baal/ei hate is so uncalled for though wtf. At least Raiden's still doing her job unlike her slacking coworkers Zhongli and Venti. and regardless of whether she's done right or wrong, people can like fictional characters who've done bad things.... why must you inject morality into your personal faves :| (genshin fandom highkey sucks oml)

yeah!! the resistance barely got a mention except for Gorou in the end scene, and it's like ??? the war is over? or? it just went by too fast and it felt like in the end the resistance were mere pawns, since the real stuff was resolved by us and Yae (paimon's line that's like "they aren't a match for the raiden shogun" at the battle cutscene is the epitome of the resistance in 2.3)

nobody has explained to me how the resistance got into Tenshukaku/Inazuma City in the first place either 😩 it is nice to see you, Kazuha and Gorou, but what are you doing here?

-welcometoteyvat (eh you can call me by mystic or my url lol, I don't really care, and I think I returned your rant with a longer rant too hsdfsa)

AJWADAH hi mystic! i love how this turned into a "thoughts about 2.1!" discussion into a whole genshin discussion #''1?2!! AND I'M ALL FOR THIS BACK AND FORTH THING

(here we go again, 2.1 spoilers below the cut)

yes!! this date thing with the female characters needs to stop... and actually, i would've loved to know more about baal's friends in the actual story quest (like with venti) instead of having to explore inazuma to find out more (but i will admit that i do lowkey like how the lore is hidden inside teyvat's nooks and crannies but in the case of la signora... not really. we should've learned more abt her first before her death instead of us having to look at an artifact set's description. i'll forgive mhy for this though - maybe we'll get to know her more when snezhnaya releases) and i share your sentiments about raiden/ei! what a girlboss!

MHM i wasn't gonna get into the whole thing with the adepti and venti's extreme laziness but hey, it's here now lmao and right?! but hinting is not good enough for me >:( AHHAHA he owes xiao and ganyu so much they're basically avid followers of his and they have history togther but he doesn't even tell them the truth?! >:(

yepp i remember that but even then, he could've just said "yo i'm stepping down. you won't know who i am bc i'll be anonymous or whatever"... and it seems like zhongli had already integrated himself well in liyue. nobody questioned his sudden appearance or mentions when he came to be wangsheng's consultant (maybe there is but i can't rmbr anything off the top of my head)

RIGHT?! goddamn raiden is trying her best out here!! i'm not excusing her actions or ei's ignorance towards the inazuman modern society pre-raiden quest but she's still trying to run her country and the corruption of a certain influential department didn't rly help either. (and yep the genshin fandom does suck D: we don't have to "moralise" every aspect of fiction!!)

exactlyyyy and again, traveller saves the day !!!! i get that they have main character armour or wtv but still, aren't they a bit too invincible? they defeated an actual ARCHON on the second try && i can't believe it only took two people to stop an entire war which had people suffering, trying to escape inazuma and the tenryou commission and some even went MAD and had personality changes when they lost their visions but now it's all fine and dandy?

OH MY GOD that's true! i didn't think about that.. how did the resistance get into tenshukaku so quickly when they were, what, two islands away?

sigh 2.1 was messy

[neerasrealm]

Self care is visiting your own grave

my inability to write actual titles continues short drabble about Ben and Jeff bonding and talking about life, or in Ben’s case, afterlife. Very light jeffben themes but for the most part it’s just guys being dudes.

Word Count: 1504

‘’Where are you taking me?’’ Jeff asked as he followed after Ben. The shorter blonde boy glanced over his shoulder at him, his blue eyes shining brightly despite the shadow his hood cast over his face. 

‘’Somewhere really special.’’ he said. ‘’I can trust you with it, right?’’

Jeff shrugged. ‘’I mean- I think you can,’’ he tilted his head. ‘’Maybe if you told me where we were going I’d-’’ he stopped, backing up to avoid walking into Ben who had abruptly stopped walking. He turned his head to look at the building next to them. Confused, Jeff turned his head and stared in surprise. It was...a flower shop. He frowned.

‘’Wait here.’’ Ben said softly before walking into the store. Jeff squinted as the blonde disappeared inside, then walked over to the shop’s window. He glared in through the glass and watched Ben ever so gently pick up a small bundle of flowers. Ben paid for the flowers, then stepped out. Without a word he began walking down the street again. Jeff followed him. He frowned.

‘’Are you taking me to see some chick?’’ he asked. Ben’s head snapped to look at him.

‘’Ew! No!’’ he looked disgusted. ‘’No, it’s not some girl.’’ he let out a frustrated huff and glared at Jeff.

‘’Geez, no need to be so defensive.’’ Jeff murmured, holding up his hands defensively. ‘’So who’re the flowers for, Romeo?’’

‘’They’re not for anyone.’’ Ben replied. ‘’Just- wait til we get there. It’s easier to explain when you see it.’’

Jeff nodded slowly and went quiet, just walking alongside Ben instead. They eventually reached their apparent destination. A...graveyard. Ben didn’t say a word, just walked in through the iron gates and began walking between the graves. Jeff looked around suspiciously. He looked at Ben.

‘’...did you kill someone?’’

‘’Dude-’’ Ben shot him a look. ‘’Why would I kill somebody?’’ 

‘’I dunno. You felt like it?’’

Ben rolled his eyes. Jeff put his hands in his pockets. Eventually they reached a small, secluded grave near the back of the cemetery. Ben knelt down in front of it and pulled aside a few weeds that had started to spring up from the ground. A small, blue china vase sat in front of the gravestone. A few wilted flowers sat in it. Ben pulled out the wilted flowers and gently placed in his new ones. He sat back on his knees, pulled off his hood and closed his eyes. Jeff hesitated, then knelt down beside him. He looked from Ben to the grave, then back at Ben.

‘’Are uh…’’ he gulped. ‘’Are you like- praying-?’’

‘’Yes.’’ Ben’s eyes didn’t open. ‘’You don’t have to do it. Just gimme a minute, okay?’’

Jeff nodded and looked back at the grave. It looked oddly well cared for. Absently, he wondered if Ben was the one that looked after it, or if it was someone else’s work. He looked at the gravestone, reading the name on it.

‘Benjamin Lawman. Beloved grandson. 2003 - 2015.’

Benjamin...a twelve year old boy. Jeff glanced at Ben. Benjamin- Ben...Ben was fourteen. And this kid had died two years ago, so-

‘’Is this...your grave?’’ Jeff asked, a tone of disbelief in his voice. Ben nodded and finally opened his eyes, looking over at Jeff. ‘’What- what the fuck?’’ he breathed. ‘’Why did you take me to see your own grave?’’

‘’This is where I come to collect my thoughts.’’ He replied, a hint of sadness in his voice. He looked down. ‘’I wanted to show you it because- well, I dunno…’’ his pointed ears drooped slightly as he spoke. ‘’I trust you.’’

Jeff faltered. He frowned. ‘’Oh.’’ he murmured. They were quiet for a few moments, with guilt settling in Jeff’s stomach. He didn’t like guilt. It was an emotion he tried not to feel. ‘’...sorry I freaked out.’’ he finally mumbled. ‘’Just...isn’t it-’’ he squinted. ‘’Freaky?’’

‘’Freaky?’’

‘’Y’know like-’’ Jeff glanced from the gravestone to Ben. ‘’Seeing your own grave, that you died? Doesn’t that just- make you freak out a bit?’’

Ben smirked a bit in amusement. ‘’Nothin’ like a reminder of your own mortality to wake you up in the morning, am I right?’’

‘’PFFFT-’’ Jeff wheezed, laughing loudly in amusement. ‘’Oh fuck that’s- that’s terrible.’’

‘’Not as terrible as being dead!’’ Ben replied, doing jazz hands and grinning. Jeff snickered. Ben’s smile dropped slightly and he glanced back at the gravestone. ‘’I know it’s- weird, and really morbid, but it’s...calming. Like a reminder that I’m- I’m still me. I existed and I’m still Benjamin, just a little different.’’ he spoke softly, his eyes resting on the stone. Jeff’s smile dropped to a more serious expression. Ben looked at him. ‘’You won’t tell Slender about this, right?’’

‘’Slender?’’ Jeff frowned. ‘’Why not?’’

‘’He...wouldn’t really approve of me coming here.’’ Ben pursed his lips. ‘’He wouldn’t forbid me or anything but like- he’d keep a closer eye on me when leaving the house and I just don’t want the hassle, y’know?’’

Jeff nodded. ‘’Yeah, I get that. Strict parents suck.’’ he said. ‘’I’m glad Slender isn’t- too much like that.’’

‘’Yeah.’’ Ben smiled. ‘’He’s great. I just think he’s a bit too overprotective at times, y’know? Tries to keep me away from anything that’d remind me that I’m dead. I get why but...it’s something that I need to accept and come to terms with.’’

Jeff nodded again. ‘’I won’t tell him.’’ he murmured. ‘’Promise.’’

‘’Thanks dude.’’ Ben looked at him and smiled a bit. ‘’I knew I could trust you.’’

Jeff smiled wide. He quickly glanced aside to the gravestone again. ‘’So like-’’ he hesitated. ‘’Can I...ask you about it?’’ 

‘’How I died?’’

‘’I mean- that too but like...just...you. Why it happened and what life was like for you,’’ he looked at Ben. ‘’I wanna know.’’

‘’Go ahead.’’ Ben shrugged passively. ‘’I don’t really talk about it much so- sure. Why not?’’

‘’So…’’ Jeff tilted his head. ‘’You were...twelve.’’

‘’Yep.’’

‘’...jeez…’’

Ben nodded. ‘’Yeah.’’ he murmured. ‘’Pretty fucked, huh?’’

‘’Yeah…’’ Jeff paused. ‘’How’d it happen?’’

Ben sighed. ‘’...my mom pushed me into a lake,’’ he raised his hand and pointed to the grave. ‘’It was in November, see? So it was really cold and- I couldn’t swim so…’’

"Your mom?"

Ben nodded. "Yep," he sighed. "She...never really liked me."

"That's fucked." Jeff breathed, staring at the gravestone again. "My parents tried to kill me too." He mumbled, mostly because he didn't know what else to say. 

"A gun, right?" Ben looked at him. Jeff nodded.  "...think I'd prefer that to drowning." He said with a soft laugh. Jeff chuckled gently, smiling sadly. 

"HAH...it hurts to laugh..."

Ben snickered. "Yeah, yeah it does…" he smiled gently. "But hey- at least we feel good enough to talk about it right?" 

"Yeah." Jeff murmured. It went quiet for a little while. Jeff glanced up, realising the sun was starting to fade. He looked back at the gravestone. "Hey- you died like- two months after I did-" he paused. "I mean- after I...killed my parents." 

"Huh." Ben looked at Jeff, tilting his head. "Does it feel like you died? When you did that…?"

Jeff was quiet for a second. He nodded slightly. "Yeah." He murmured. "It does. Like I'm- not the same person," he looked up at the sky. "I'm not Jeffery Woods I'm...Jeff. The killer.’’

Ben nodded. ‘’I feel that..’’ he moved closer to Jeff. ‘’When I first...woke up, I guess, I didn’t feel like myself. I don’t even look like myself now. Though- I guess neither of us do- but like- I’m a ghost. I don’t experience things the same way a human does…’’ his hand rested on top of Jeff’s. Ben’s skin felt cold to the touch. ‘’It’s always cold...and my hair is always damp,’’ he chuckled gently. ‘’Food tastes a little weird. Like the flavor is muted- or like- a fake version of how it should taste. And whenever I’m around tech? I swear I can hear stuff coming from it. Usually static.’’ he paused, looking over his gravestone. Jeff stayed silent. ‘’When I first woke up like this I was freaked out. I had to adjust, and learn to accept that I wasn’t human anymore. That’s why I like coming here. It reminds me that I’m different but still me.’’

‘’...fuck, dude.’’ Jeff choked out. Ben looked at him and-

‘’Oh shit, are you crying?’’

‘’N-no! I don’t cry!’’ Jeff wiped at his eyes. ‘’It’s your fucking- ghost magic dude.’’ he muttered. Ben laughed gently and squeezed his hand.

‘’Right. Sorry.’’ he said with another soft laugh. He waited patiently until Jeff’s hand relaxed under his. Ben tilted his head at his friend. ‘’It’s getting dark, y’know,’’ he murmured. ‘’I know a good taco van near here. You wanna stop there on the way home?’’

Jeff looked up at him. ‘’Tacos?’’ he asked. Ben nodded. Jeff smiled. ‘’Sounds good, dude.’’

[boogiewrites]

No. 9: The Body

Chapter One

Characters: Diego Hargreeves & OFC Eve Corpuz

Summary: Eve, once a rebellious runaway had turned her life around through the help of others to now be a doctor. She tries to return the favor these days. When a mysterious man keeps popping up in her life, what will her natural talent for healing become when it finally meets someone else with abilities like hers? The introductory chapter.

Warnings/Tags: Meet Cute. Some medical/blood/injury stuff.

Click on my icon then go to my Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT!

From the view from her apartment window, only slightly obscured by the fire escape, Eve looked out on the gloomy sunrise falling over the New York City street below. The fog and steam from the light drizzle on the street grates blended with the haze of her coffee cup as she took a moment to gather herself, feel the calm at the moment before the chaos of her job began.

Eve was all about function over fashion these days. Her childhood had held many questionable punk ensembles and thrifted, or even stolen pieces that were worn down to bare threads. But now her clothes usually consisted of scrubs, so she opted for comfort usually. She savors the last of her coffee and the peace of her small home and makes her way out into the world to begin another long, chaotic 12-hour shift.

The phrase, “business as usual” couldn’t really apply to work in an Emergency Room but when you worked an ER in New York, literally anything could be called as such. So the day began, and so did the rush of decisions, needles, charts, and blood as the job called for. She changed out her off duty uniform of pants that compromised mostly of spandex. For the season warm fleece-lined leggings were her go-to currently. Her boots needed replacing, as she’d bought new sneakers for work but neglected her everyday ones. What a metaphor for her life that was. You couldn’t really wear anything but boots in the city winter as the mess on the streets would seep through anything else. She peeled off her layers of a tank top, t-shirt, hoodie, and jacket to stuff into her locker and got into her sterile looking and feeling scrubs that served as her protection from whatever the wild night of New York emergency room drama would unfold. “Doctor Corpuz to the ER please.” She heard the intercom over her headphones. It was already starting. —

The night had been average, traffic accidents, assault, chest pains, overdose, nothing that would throw Eve off her game. Her years of residency had assured that. As usual, she became drained the longer the night went on, hitting the caffeine hard to make it through the last hours.

“Uh, hey, Eve we’ve got this guy in room 3 and he’s being…. a bit belligerent,“ the woman rolled her eyes as she casually leaned on the counter “He’s scaring the intern, you might wanna go help deescalate.” A half-smile that made it clear that the news delivered was something said more times than either of them could count now. “Since you’re so good at it and all.” She cracks her gum and even though it’s delivered sarcastically, the jab was actually true.

“Ugh.. why do I have to be the one that’s good at this?” She huffs and shrugs with heavy arms as she throws a playful pout her friend’s way. “Why can’t you just go yell at them? It sure scares me.” Eve quips as she stretches to prepare herself.

“I already did and he did not respond well to authority so… in you go Mr. Rogers.” She hits Eve on the shoulder with the patient’s file and she dramatically grasps it.

“Tired of being good cop. Let me yell at the next one alright?” She says back as she walks away.

“Got it Doc.” She answers as she begins to walk away.

Eve takes a deep breath and focuses before entering the room, trying to bring up that positive side of herself for the task at hand.

“I told you what I told ya, alright?” She could see from the chart and the bleeding man lying on a bed in front of her in a stance all black and leather ensemble. Her first thought was oh god what did he get stabbed with? He looks like he’s been at some BDSM party that went south, in the bad sense, and fast. It was multiple stab wounds to the abdomen and he was ready to be sewn up but wasn’t agreeing to be still despite the pain medicine he’d been given.

“Hey, dude we can we just shhh a little? Bring down the volume a touch?” She asks as the black-haired man turned his head her way. His dark brown eyes were glazed and he was clearly feeling the pain pills. A heavy brow lay low and angry as he sized her up a bit slower than he was accustomed to.

“Who are you?” He asks with a bite.

“I could ask you the same thing. I’m the ER Doctor tonight, Eve Corpuz. And you are?”

“I’m nobody.” He answers at a lower volume.

“Well Nobody, looks like I’ve got to stitch you up. Would you mind if I got to it?” She snaps on her gloves as the nurse pushes a tray with her instruments on it towards her.

“I need to get out of here.” He says, voice now at a more acceptable volume.

“If you let me sew you up you’ll be out of here right after and then we’ll all be happy, alright?” She gives smile his way that was softer than her tone. “I think I’ve got it from here Sherry. I won’t be needing any help will I Nobody? I can sew you up real quick and we can get on with our nights? Since you seem so busy and all?”

He looks to the other nurse and back to the doctor, muscles still tense but in a much more passive body language. “Yeah…okay.” He nods and his clearly scowling eyes kept on the nurse.

“Alright we’re good here. I’ll finish up and you can get Mr. Nobody here some pain control to take home ready?”

“I’ll be back in with the forms.” She responds, another way to let the doctor know she would be close by. After a shared nod, they said, “Yes I’m sure.” She was left alone with the scowling stranger.

“I don’t like her.” He pointed and laid back down on the table.

“That’s fair.” Eve shrugs, seeing a calm and casual approach was working best. “I just want to get you as best prepared as I can to heal up well, alright? I’m not gonna hound you for info like they were. That’s not my job.” She gives a humorous smile as she preps the areas on his stomach.

He blinks at her, looking down at her hands as she touches the wounds, and his nose twitches from pain. He says nothing as his attention is averted and her tone not aggressive and being reasonable with him.

“This part is gonna hurt. I’m not gonna bullshit you alright? But it’s not as bad as being stabbed so… Got me?”

His eyes meet hers. his round and partially, deep-set against full dark brows and goatee against his brown skin. “What kind of doctor says bullshit?” He asks with a head tilt.

“The kind that gets shit done.” She smiles and shrugs. “I’ve been on the other side of this situation before, I know it sucks and I’m not here to be the bad guy. I’m not a snitch… a narc or whatever, I’m just Eve and I wanna help. Because I know what it’s like.” She says earnestly and he doesn’t detect any bullshit as she’d said. He could read people, and he found her a little odd but… genuine.

“You been stabbed before?”

“I have.” She nods. “It fuckin hurts doesn’t it?” She laughs and nods, testing the equipment.

“Yeah. It does.” He gives a huff with a more relaxed expression before wincing.

“Where did you get stabbed?” He asks, brain still trying to read her.

“In the arm.” She nods casually.

“Ow.”

“Yeah ow.” She smiles he continues keeping her focus on cleaning up her space and open her tools.

“Why?” he asks.

“Why did you get stabbed?” she gives him a no-nonsense glance

“I was saving a cat from a tree.” his testy tone was full of pain med induced confidence.

“So did the tree stab you or the cat stab you with a 4-inch blade?”

“The cat.” He responds was as snarkily as she had in their back and forth.

“Mean cat.” She replies with a more casual smile as they begin to feel each other out.

“Yeah. He was a real asshole.”

She begins tapping the area and he doesn’t react. “Think we’re good now. Don’t move, please?”

“Kay.” He nods and lets his head fall back. As she works he watches her face. “So how did you get stabbed?”

“Would you believe a cat got me too?”

He gives a little confused smile. “I wouldn’t actually.”

“Then we have that in common.”

He grunts in appreciation for her attitude. Guess he’d have to work harder to figure her out. She looked warm, yet severe and her faded tattoos peeking out from her collar and sleeves were proving very interesting to him. She didn’t look or more interestingly feel like a doctor to him. He was used to pretending to be things he wasn’t, but if she was, she was better than him at it.

“Looks like I need to get more stuff.” She mutters, looking around the room. She covers two of three wounds and sighs. “I’ll be right back okay?”

“Okay.” He says with a face that she believed. But it wasn’t the first time her caring nature would’ve been taken advantage of, and the entertaining stranger was gone when she returned to the room. Nothing but the blood left behind and a warm indent on the bed. He was good, she thought. Actually, she was downright impressed he got past her. It’d be a headache for paperwork later but a good story to tell at least.

————————————

The next night the stranger named Nobody was the farthest thing from Eve’s mind. She was enjoying her take out, the container in hand, and chopsticks tapping to the playlist titled “classical: chill”. She’d made it to play when she studied in school and during residency and apparently she’d conditioned herself to be more relaxed while she played it.

The sun had just gone down and the winter chill was heavy around her windows. In her functional fashion, she wore sweats and slippers and layers topped with a hoodie. She was swaying and focusing on how good cold lo mein could be. The light of her standing lamp illuminating the solid rectangle of open space that was her kitchen and living room. Much like her fashion, it was cozy and functional. Nothing brash or bold, just neutral colors and lots of comforts.

Eve was winding down to sleep off her last shift, making some time to eat and enjoy herself before having to get back to it the next morning. Her dark hair was damp and twisted on top of her head, glasses mended with floss sat unsecured on her nose as she ate with her eyes closed. During the weeks where she had close shifts she usually took it easy on herself, her hours could vary wildly, and sometimes that worked in her advantage and sometimes it didn’t. But it wasn’t anything new to her. She figured if she made it through residency she could make it through anything, and right now the coziness, the juxtaposition of inside her little warm home and the biting January cold that lay just outside the windows. They sat with curtains that fell ceiling to floor, mostly drawn. Being on the third floor she had never been too worried about anyone seeing into her windows. But perhaps she should have been.

That, forgotten in this moment, Nobody was taking full advantage of the small space left by the curtains. He peered in, watching her. He drummed his gloved fingers over two healed fresh scared marks near his ribs. He could find anything sinister about her. She wasn’t any sort of plant in the hospital and she wasn’t there looking for him. She seemed like a nice enough woman actually, but he knew there had to be something he was missing.

He continued this for days. He would follow her around, trying to figure out what her deal was. He’d become a bit preoccupied with it, as was his nature. Since his return to the city, he’d been going from vigilante case to case to distract himself. It felt like old times in fleeting moments, but when the chaos that had surrounded him recently came rushing back at him, he wasn’t one to wallow in his sadness. Rather it hung around as he decided to go back to doing the thing he knew best. Without connects at the police anymore he was left with that familiar feeling of being a lone wolf . He still wasn’t sure how he felt about it, and it wasn’t on his list of things to contemplate soon. So a mystery woman, ironically enough was what the doctor ordered when it came to distractions.

So far she was pretty boring. As far as people with powers went, he guesses. She liked coffee, take out. Nothing that interesting, except that he was now totally healed, scarred and the pain was only a memory. She was a doctor, sure, but he’d never healed that fast in his life. He’d worked himself up to conspiracy theories of her using some new medicine that was being tested on civilians without their knowledge. But he found nothing of the sort. There wasn’t a lot on her when he searched her name. First-year doctor at a hospital, went to medical school and college, what you’d expect. She spent most of her time working, goes out with some women she works with on occasion, then went home. No following her to a seedy alley for a secret meeting or her making coded phone calls. No, she was just a woman who left her curtains open and he felt like he’d hit a wall on the investigation. So for now, she remained a collection of scribbled notes in his apartment.

His other antics, most that involved fighting and men with guns and knives, understandably led to frequent injuries for him, most ones he could handle. But it just so happened next time he got really hurt, he knew exactly which doctor to go to.

—————

Eve got there early, a shoulder gunshot wound and a split open brow. A not unusual combination. She approached the room, and no one but her seemed to recognize the man that lay in the bed.

She noticed he looked almost relieved at the sight of her, which she wasn’t used to.

“I got it.” She says a nod to the nurse as he approaches him.

“Listen, Doc you gotta get me out of here.” He begins.

“Yeah I knew that was you…” she gives him a side-eye. “I think you need either new hobbies or new friends because this is the second time in what… a month you’re in here?

“You do recognize me.”

“Of course I do you know how much of a pain in the ass paperwork is when you disappear?”

“No.”

“Clearly since you ran last time.” She says more severely as she begins the usual process again.

“Look, I saw an opportunity and I took it. Nothing personal.” he offers with a shake of his head. “ This time there’s gonna be cops and you can’t let them in here. They’ll see me and arrest me and I don’t want that.”

“What’d you do?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why do they want to arrest you?”

“Because they think I did something.”

“Did you…?”

“No.”

She considers his eyes for a moment, whether he was being honest or not. “…What’s your name?”

“So you can tell the cops, yeah no thanks.”

“Fair…Then tell me how you got stabbed.” It was more of a demand than a request. A terms of service agreement for her involvement.

“I was after a bad guy and he fought back, then more bad guys showed up and one of them got me.” his response was as vague as he could get away with, they both knew that.

“You’re the good guy in this instance?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you some undercover…something-er-other?”

“No, not exactly.”

“Just a wanted criminal?”

“Wanted. Not a criminal.”

She sighs and he hisses as she begins to work on him. He notices her lips purse and her eyes making a decision beyond watching the work she was doing?

“Doctor Corpuz, there are some policemen that want to ask you some questions.

“Tell them I’m finishing up a procedure, to stay by the front desk and I’ll be out.”

“Yes, Doctor.” the nurse bows.

“Are you gonna help me or not?”

She stays quiet, finishing up sewing and reaching for a bandage. “Yeah.” she nods.

“Good, I didn’t want to have to hurt you.”

She swings her eyes his way in a clear glare that told him she did not find his joke funny. “You aren’t helping your case any random nobody who’s been stabbed multiple times in the past month. You clearly are good at making decisions, maybe I should tell them about you.” she retorts with more sting and she gives his stomach a harsher pat before moving away.

“Uh…it was..it would be funny if you knew me. I don’t want to hurt you…Eve Corpuz.” he glances at the tag and then her face.

“No, we’re back on a Doctor-patient relationship now.”

“But you’re still gonna help me get out?”

“Yes, fuck, I said I would already.” she shakes her head at him and motions for him to sit up. “I’ll have them at the front desk and distract them, and you go out the back way. You’ll get some attention, but not from them.”

“Anyone ever tell you you’re the coolest doctor they’ve ever met?”

“They haven’t actually. Usually, they’re too busy screaming in pain when we meet.” she cleans the space and begins to walk out the door as he catches her wrist.

“Thanks. Doctor. Eve. Whatever.”

“Well, you’ll owe me I guess. What good that does me when I don’t even know you’re name, huh? Just get out as quietly as possible, alright? Don’t make me regret this.”

“You won’t.” he nods and releases his grip on her.

[chemicalmagecraft]

Foresight is 20/20 Chapter 12

Chikage

I axe kicked a giant rock in half. That was fun. I also found floating around not with demon sage cores but with glittery red fairy wings made from demon sage chakra to be enjoyable as well. Because I was pure chakra, I was actually a lot better at handling natural energy than weak, inferior carbon-based lifeforms and could absorb more without any kind of negative effects. Sure, there was some instability if I went too high, but it was nowhere near as bad as the side effects on a human, and I could expel the excess pretty easily. "Dang," Kouki said from where he was sitting on another rock. I turned to face m-him. "So I guess you're just default a lot stronger than me. Makes sense, you're basically a mini biju." I could tell through our connection that he was a little off about how he couldn't access the red chakra that was now me, but that was mostly overshadowed by his marvel over the potential of Demon Shadow Clone Jutsu, the jutsu that created me. He fidgeted a bit, causing his arm to mutate slightly, red scales forming instead of the frog limbs that comes from using toad oil as a medium. "Dangit." The demon sage cores orbiting him sucked all of the natural energy out of him, setting him back to square one.

I grinned and "sat" on the air in front of him. "You having trouble, bro?" Kouki had decided that with the extra control granted to him whenever we were separate, combined with the fact that he couldn't fall back on red chakra without me, that he should finally learn how to make sage chakra the right way.

He glared at me. "You know as well as I do that this isn't easy to do properly."

I grinned and started telekinetically messing with a leaf using my sage aura. "Do I really?" I spontaneously combusted it.

"Haha." He closed his eyes and stuck his tongue out in concentration.

"Right," I said. "Imma go see what else I can do." I melted into the ground, merging the energy that made up my body with the shadows of the grass. It turned out that, while I couldn't move fast at all when projecting myself as a shadow that didn't already exist, whenever I entered a real shadow, I could move... well, I didn't know how fast exactly because I hadn't gotten around to figuring out how to calculate that, but at the very least it was fast enough that it looked like teleportation even when Kouki pulled a little trick with the Shoraigan to slow down the "footage."

So yeah, I got to the the trees pretty dang fast. I flew out of the shadows in my "biju form," which was really just me as a fox with fur the color of my clothes with the exception of a "mane" the same color as my hair, and sliced a tree in half with my claws. I opened my mouth, compressing red and blue chakra in a way that just felt... right. Even with sage mode it was small and a little draining, but it was still a biju dama. I launched it at a tree, obliterating it into smoking mulch. I sighed at the relatively small AOE, but then grinned about the fact that I just made a biju dama. Unfortunately, my victory was cut short by Kouki calling for me to come back through our telepathic link. That meant it was time for our experiment, which he wanted to be whole for just in case something went wrong. I shrugged. "Guess it's for the best," I thought to myself. "Was probably going to just throw around dama 'til I ran out of chakra." I melted into the shadows and zipped off to Kouki.

kukukuku~

I sighed as I felt Chikage returning to me. It was reassuring to have my red chakra back, even if I didn't really use it that much. Still, I suppose I did have the demon gems to fall back on, on account of how my connection to other sources of my own red chakra was uninterrupted. I crossed my arms behind my back and turned around, my eyes closed. "Finally," I said. "A project months in the making, about to be fulfilled. I'm assuming you're here to watch, eh, Tenko?"

Ai laughed. "That's a lot less intimidating if we know you can sense us, kid." I sighed and opened my eyes. "And wasn't it only one month?"

I shrugged. "Felt like more. Might just have been from that one part where they read my journal..." I held my hands out in front of me and the giant scroll I'd taken to sealing as much demon Sage chakra into as possible once I'd filled the demon sage seal on my body, the Scroll of the Demon Sage, appeared floating in front of me through a summoning instead of a sealing on account of how its power meant I couldn't seal it in my inventory scrolls and actually keep anything else in it as well. "This is it. What might be the second most powerful thing in Konoha." The scroll unfurled slightly, revealing a seal tag that as of then contained most of its power. Uzumaki are really good at handling stupid levels of energy, okay? At least I'd also managed to complete my first mini biju dama paper bomb... "Are you ready to receive this power?" I asked Ai.

"Is this really necessary?" Tenko asked, worried.

"No," Ai and I both said at the same time.

"But really, what's the point of amassing an insane amount of dangerously powerful chakra if you don't infuse as much as possible into the best known person for taking in stupid amounts of chakra just to see what happens?" I elaborated.

Ai nodded and gingerly took the demon sage seal tag from its place in the scroll. "Right, so I'm guessing you have somewhere you want me to stand?"

I slung the scroll on my back and pointed over to an area I'd prepared in advance. "There. I've already set up four cores with orders to use the Four Violet Flames Formation should anything go wrong." A nice thing about having multiple potent sources of chakra at my total command, I'd found, was the fact that I could potentially use collaboration nin- or genjutsu without actually having to collaborate with anyone.

Tenko sighed. "That's not reassuring."

Before Tenko could actually object, Ai slapped the tag on her chest. "Toolatealreadyusedit!" She quickly shouted. The red lines of the seal tag began to glow orangey-gold, then started to spread to cover her entire body in a thick chakra cloak. She laughed maniacally, floating into the air as nine tail-like chains made of the same chakra sprouted from her backside. The chains spread to curl around the entire training ground, a red, domed barrier coming into existence at the edges. I don't know if she meant to or not, but her barrier materialized just before the shinobi that I'd had posted nearby via Sandaime just in case of a worst-case scenario, cutting them off.

"Kouki-kun, what did you do to my wife?" Tenko asked worriedly.

I grinned. "'Wife?' So did either of you finally pop the question?"

She flinched, then blushed. "I... haven't yet... I do have the ring, though."

I shrugged. "Hope for the best with you two. And by the way, I'm sure it'll go over fine." Ai's maniacal laughter grew louder, causing me to turn my attention back to her. She put her hands in front of her, as if she was holding an invisible ball. Oh. "A thought occurs to me," I said, making sure to keep my voice calm.

"That doesn't sound good..." As if on cue, Ai started to slowly form a disconcertingly familiar-looking chakra ball in between her hands. In addition to that, countless streaks of energy began to slowly form in the air, gravitating to the epicenter. That epicenter being a modified biju dama.

"So there was this one clan with a Kekkei Genkai that allowed them to passively accumulate natural energy and then use that to mutate themselves. Because they didn't work for it, though, the natural energy caused them to become uncontrollable, entering homicidal rages. Because of that, they were almost completely wiped out." At that point, I started to feel a slight tug on my chakra, though I was able to resist it.

"So what you're saying is..."

"She's drunk on power, yeah. Whoops."

"How, exactly, did you not notice that'd happen with your eyes?"

"Figured out a way to make sure that nothing bad enough I can't fix it will happen while still not spoiling me on what happens. Use exclusively that for my experiments now," I explained. I noticed a bit of chakra chain straying near me and had an idea. "Hang on, let me fix this." I tried to grab the chain with a chakra thread, but it was just sucked in, so I aborted almost immediately and just lunged at it. It was starting to get to the point where I needed to have my demon gems actively cling to me to make sure they weren't sucked in. That would be bad. Thankfully, I managed to grab the chain and my theory was right. Just like how Kurama still held some link to my red chakra and Kaguya still had some link to his chakra, I could feel my connection to the chakra in the modified Adamantine Sealing Chain. I grabbed it with both hands, wrapped one side around my arm, then tugged the two sides in opposite directions.

With a bit of willpower applied, one link snapped and got spaghettified by the still-growing ball of impending doom, leaving me with a really long chain of chakra that I could control wrapped around my arm. "Right, let's hope this works or Konoha probably becomes partially made of smoking crater," I said, glad that I'd picked one of the farthest training grounds from Konoha proper, then pulled a leaf out of Ai's new book and sucked the chain into my body, making sure to strip enough natural energy off of it that I didn't become a glittery garden statue. "Oooh," I grunted, then sucked in a breath. I noticed that with one chain down, the chakra-sucking had slowed back down, though I knew it was going to pick back up if I didn't do anything.

"Are you okay?" Tenko asked.

"Yeah, just a bit of a rush," I said. "Sorry. Well, here goes..." I concentrated on the chakra that I'd absorbed. After a few seconds, I was able to form two purple chains of chakra that emerged from my sleeves. I drew on the power I'd stolen from Ai to lengthen the chains significantly, taking the shortest possible paths I could to intersect her chains with my own. Once I'd gotten all of her chains, I tugged on the chakra in them, converting Ai's golden chains to my purple chains. The effect cascaded, eating away at all of her chains until her chains were fully turned, making the barrier fall and stopping the suction effect fully. I jerked my arm, causing nine chains to sprout from Ai's arms and wrap around the biju dama. I started retracting the chains back into my body, removing almost every last trace of demon sage chakra from Ai's body. Thankfully, she didn't fall on her face, as she was able to recover almost immediately and shoot some now non-glowing yellow chains into the ground and lower herself down gently.

"I have no idea what just happened, but I'm assuming it worked because I can make chains out of my chakra now," she said.

I nodded, concentrating on the ball of dangerously explosive chakra I was slowly reeling in. "Tenko, I need you to take the scroll off of my back and open it up a bit." She did as I asked, holding the scroll up so I could easily access it. I slowly put my hands on the scroll, converting the chain into the seal. The chain, no longer attached to my body, continued to reel in the demon sage chakra. As it did that, I placed my hand on the chain, removing the impurities the chakra gained from being in Ai's system. I greedily absorbed those bits of chakra. As I suspected, my body accepted it as readily as it did Shukaku's chakra.

"What exactly happened there?" one of the shinobi asked now that they'd arrived.

"Science," I answered.

"What were we even supposed to do about that?"

I shrugged. "Sorry, I didn't expect that to happen. I just figured Ai wouldn't have very good control of her chains at first. Turns out that that much sage chakra means going crazy, though."

"So I'm guessing I shouldn't use that seal for a super mode?" Ai asked after walking over to us. I swiped the empty tag that still stuck to her.

"No, if I segment it to lower the dosage, then it both becomes multi-use and lets you keep your sanity, at the tradeoff of power, obviously. Just make sure to use it for emergencies only. And while we're at it, I should be able to eventually teach you how to enter proper sage mode, which you could do any time with just a few minutes to charge up." I looked back up to survey the mostly concerned, but with one happy, faces looking at me. "I'd say that this little experiment has been a success."

kukukuku~

Yeah, I got chewed out by my dad. In hindsight, though, I really couldn't blame him. Thankfully, I was able to get off with just a tongue-lashing and promising to make absolutely sure to test out anything that could theoretically have a large blast radius by making a gem take it far away from Konoha and remote detonate it or just not do it at all. To be honest, though, I was bracing myself for a grounding, so I was actually fine with that. And he even organized a lesson on nature transformation for me. After giving me another lecture, this time on not doing things that could potentially destroy my hands or other parts of my body unless absolutely necessary. And so there I was, leaning on the wall of the Hyuuga compound courtyard. I'd made sure that there was a chain of shadows that Chikage could use to get away from me because I knew Kakashi was going to use that one chakra paper thing on me and I didn't want to have any interference from her/my power, yet still have her accessible once we started the lesson in earnest. "Sup," I said when Kakashi arrived.

"So you want to learn how to use nature transformation?" he asked.

I shrugged and licked my lips. "I already know how to use wind, but I'd like to learn at least the basics of the others."

"Right, learning it now if you have the chakra for it is actually probably a good idea." He pulled out a piece of paper. "I doubt you can do much with it at the moment, but at the very least, you'll be able to practice until you're ready for the big stuff." He used the paper, crinkling it. "This paper is made to test one's elemental affinity. Channel a light amount of chakra onto it and it'll react in different ways depending on what your primary affinity is. Mine's lightning, so the paper became wrinkled." He gave me a second piece of paper. "You try."

I complied, channeling a bit of my chakra into the paper. "Well what a coincidence," I said, referring to the fact that my paper was now as crumpled as his was. "We have the same element, don't we?"

"Yes, that's what that means. I suppose we'll start with the lightning exercises, then?"

I called Chikage back, and she reentered me without Kakashi even seeming to notice. For whatever reason, her chakra signature was muted whenever she was inside a shadow, and she could easily suppress her signature even more and spread herself out to lower the density of her chakra in the shadows, so the only way he would've noticed was when we joined or if his Sharingan was out. It would've been the perfect ability for stealth if not for the fact that she couldn't bring anything with her, and I was already trying to think of ways around that one little weakness. Well, there was also the little snag of how she needed shadows, but really, where aren't there shadows?

"Let's start this lightshow, then," I said with a smile.

kukukuku~

And now for something completely different.

A rabbit bounded across a field near End Valley. It did not know what its destination was, just that something was... calling to it. It stopped by the roots of a great tree and began to sniff at the ground. Whatever it was looking for, it was there. It found it after a few minutes of searching. A small red stone, barely a flake, that glowed with some unearthly light. Now that it could see it, the rabbit's every instinct screamed to get away, that this stone was a predator, but it couldn't stop itself. Its body wasn't its own anymore. The now-terrified rabbit tried to fight back with all its might as its head came closer to the gem, but to no avail. The stone already had a hold over it, it just needed to touch it and it would be over. A spectre of death seemed to emerge from the jewel of death, ready to embrace the rabbit. When the rabbit's head was close enough, the stone lifted from the ground and adhered to its forehead. The rabbit screamed as a foreign presence entered its body, burning away its very soul to make room for something else.

I grinned a rabbitty grin and hopped around a bit, testing out my new rabbity body. It was a shame that I could only gain a proper body by stealing it from a living creature, but what can you do? I sniffed at the ground with my new nose. The rabbit's sense of smell was different from my original's, but when I took over the rabbit's brain I gained complete access to all its memories, so I was able to adjust soon enough. Plus I noticed that I could understand rabbits now. I sent a telepathic message back to Kouki and Chikage.

"You find a body?" they asked.

"Yup. Rabbit. Surprisingly good chakra affinity, despite being wild," I replied.

"Cool. Right, you should probably act natural for at least a month, to build up plausible deniability." they instructed. "Then you can start doing supernatural stuff. Cannibalize the body and continue your mission."

I sent a scoff through our link. "I know what to do, I have all your memories."

"Stop being so sarcastic, you're not supposed to be me."

"Right."

"By the way, did you pick out a name?"

I gave a small rabbit grin. "Of course. If my first body after my 'resurrection' is to be that of a rabbit's, then why shouldn't my name be Usagi?"

"Cool. You'd better give at least one 'name of the moon' speech though."

"Certainly. I would never pass up such an opportunity." It may have purely been within my mind, but I was already preparing my cover by practicing my new mannerisms, at the very least those dealing with how I spoke.

"Right, I'ma get back to this stupid leaf, you go do your rabbit thing. Rabbit." I hopped around a bit, searching for some food. A deep cover assignment. It was going to be marvelous.

kukukuku~

I growled as I passed my chakra through the leaf. No matter what I did, it just wasn't getting wet!

"Did you try turning it off and turning it back on again?" Chikage asked me as she floated over me.

I rolled my eyes, cut off the flow, then let my chakra flow over the leaf like water once more. "Don't think that helped."

"Dude it's been a day," she said. "You're not Naruto, you don't have an army of clones to poorly manage yet still somehow get your thing done. Just take a deep breath, accept that this is going to take some time, and do the other three exercises that you actually did make some headway in. You don't have Tsunade-levels of control when we're unfused yet."

I stared at her for a second. "How are you taking this better than me?" I asked.

"I mean, two heads are better than one. I have the perspective that you're being a lil dummy."

I stopped trying to wet the leaf and started trying to set it aflame instead. Because I already had experience doing it with and as Chikage, it started to smoke after a few seconds. I removed my thumb, seeing a smoldering thumbprint on it. Chikage picked it up, then it just disintegrated. "Showoff," I griped.

[blog-sliverofjade]

Of Doms & Subs 1: Can't Stop Here, This is Wolf Country

Pairing: Angus Hopper x OFC

Summary:  What's a submissive female to do when she fights her nature and goes on the run as a Lone wolf to avoid being assimilated into a pack?

Word count: 6238

Master List

           “Please, please, please let me get as far as Tacoma,” I begged the flagging gas gauge of my trusty old lime green Jeep.  Experience told me that it was wishful thinking because traffic was bound to hit before Everett.  There was undoubtedly a Seattle pack and the fewer the stops in their area, the smaller the chance of getting picked up by the local werewolves.

           A schoolbus drew parallel to me in the left lane so a giant cartoon lupine mascot filled my peripheral vision.  “Can’t stop here, this is wolf country,” I muttered.

          If I barrelled through, gas up in Tacoma, then I could avoid the dreaded I-5 parking lot in both Seattle and Portland on the Friday of a long weekend.  Even though I started out in the British Columbia Rockies my destination was the central Oregon Cascade mountains, it was faster to cut across lower British Columbia, down the I-5 corridor, and then back across the Willamette Valley.

          This route also happened to avoid the territory of the famous Adam Hauptmann and his pack.  Oh sure, he was the perfect gentleman in the media and his wolves were seemingly well-behaved, but you know what they say about things that are too good to be true.  I was submissive and had no delusions about where I’d end up in the hierarchy.  Hell, humans had taught me that long before I was Changed two weeks ago.  And female werewolves were inevitably absorbed into a pack because some old grand high poobah declared that we couldn’t fly solo.

          So why was I zigzagging all over the Pacific Northwest instead of rolling over like a good little bitch?  Having been submissive for over thirty years, I’d long ago learned avoidance is the best way to avoid conflict.  When that didn’t work, an acerbic tongue and short temper kept most people from getting too close to abuse that aspect of my personality.  Too many people think that passivity is a synonym for doormat.

          My luck, or rather fuel tank, ran out in the U District.  Red and blue lights lit up the rearview mirror just as I squeezed through a yellow light towards a gas station.  “Please don’t be for me, please don’t be for me,” I chanted as I pulled into the lot.

          “Of course not, when has everything gone your way on this godsforsaken trip.”  I lowered my window, plastered a meekly congenial if slightly vapid look on my face, and gripped my license and registration in a sweaty fist.

          “Good evening.”  The officer bent to look in the window.  We both stilled the instinct we caught the other’s scent.  I dropped my eyes immediately, partly to avoid staring at the scar that marred his face, and offered the documentation.  Please don’t ask any questions, I prayed silently.

          “Are you traveling by yourself, Ms. Jones?”  Whatever deities that haven’t been listening to me can go shove it.

          “Yessir.  I’m headin’ back home to Oregon from visitin’ family.”  Mostly the truth.  I did stop in Vancouver to visit my brother.  I put the Southern drawl on fairly heavy.  The twang and the manners to go with often smooth the way with people in uniform, even if I hadn’t lived South of the 44th parallel in fifteen years.

          “Oh, you have family here?”  Must remain calm.  Normal, even breaths will help control the heartrate.

          “Vancouver,” I smiled.  So what if it was Vancouver, Washington and not Vancouver, British Columbia?

          “BC?”

          “Yessir.”  His eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly at the blithe lie.

          “You must be a member of the Portland pack,” he said, eyeing my ID a little too closely for comfort now.

          “Yessir.”

          “I’m just gonna go run these.”  My dad was a cop and his face would go blank like that whenever he was gathering evidence of my brother’s or my misdeeds.  This was so many flavours of not good.

          The wolf watched him walk back to his car.  She liked the way he smelled.  Familiar and right.  Like family.  If she could, she would have trotted right at his heels.  At that thought, the human half kicked in and started up the engine, slammed her into gear, and peeled back out towards the onramp.

          “Smart.  Real smart, what’re we gonna do now?” I tapped the steering wheel in a staccato rhythm with my thumbs in time to the rock blaring from the sound system.  “No license, no registration, he called your plates in before saying hi, he has your address and…”  I grabbed my phone and shut it off.  If the conspiracy theorists were right, they could track me via the phone.  Is it paranoia if they really are out to get you?

          I crossed over to the 405 and stopped in Bellevue for gas, otherwise I’d be making my getaway on foot.  I leaned against the Jeep, ignoring the damp that seeped from the cold metal through my clothing, and debated the merits of taking the really scenic route of 101.  Or would they expect me to leave I-5 and thus making it the safer choice by hiding in plain sight?  My head was starting to hurt from trying to outthink them.

          The gas fumes seared my nose so I couldn’t smell the driver of the Mazda 3 that pulled up behind me until he approached the squeegee station between us.  Studiously avoiding eye contact, I screwed the cap back on and nestled the nozzle back in its hook.  Slowly, no sudden moves.

          I slid behind the wheel and as the engine turned over a cop car blazed into the station to block me against the Mazda.  It looks cool in the movies.  Less so if you’re the one trapped.  I shut off the engine, folded my arms, and leaned back in a huff.  My license and registration slipped through the three-inch gap at the top of the window.  I snatched them up and tossed them in my purse without pausing in my attempt to mentally set his car on fire.  Unfortunately, lycanthropy didn’t come with pyrokinesis.  In the movies fiery explosions usually follow when there are confrontations in gas stations.  Too bad life wasn’t imitating art in this case.

          “I take it you know the law.”  The scarred officer was not referring to any statutes written by man.  “You can either come and meet our Alpha or I can arrest you and then you can meet him.”  There was no threat in his words.  He sounded as if he were inviting me over for dinner, which might actually be the case.  I resisted the urge to hit the steering wheel.  It would likely crumple now that I had preternatural strength.

          “Fine.  So where am I following you to meet your lord and master?”

          “Matt here will be your driver,” he gestured to the guy who’d blocked me in.  Mazda Matt leaned against his car door with his arms folded across his chest, watching the exchange with a slight smirk.  “Shane will follow in your car.”  A third man I hadn’t noticed before was mirroring Matt’s pose on the other side of the car.

          I sighed and glanced at my phone.  Even if they let me use it, who would I call?  Hi big bro, I’m being kidnapped by werewolves.  Please send in the National Guard.  Tanks work against werewolves, right?  I kicked open the door, forcing the cop to quickly sidestep.  With a snarl on my lips, I chucked the heavy mass of keys attached to a carabiner at Shane.  Damned werewolf reflexes.  If he’d been human they’d have struck his temple and probably dropped him like a stone.

          Matt came forward as if to take my elbow and escort me.  “Touch me and I break your scaphoid.  They’re a bitch to heal even with regeneration,” I snapped.  Just because my wolf was happy about getting taken to meet their leader didn’t mean I had to be.  He drew back his hand, but he did open the door for me and waited till I buckled up before shutting the door.  Why buckle up if I could survive a trip through the windshield?  It’d still hurt like hell.

          “So I heard you’re from Portland,” Matt said as we merged back onto 405 in an attempt to fill the silence that was thick with my seething.

          “Look, I’m no doubt about to get grilled on all this anyway, so let’s skip the twenty questions, ok?”  He shrugged and didn’t seem put out by my rudeness.

          Eventually he turned on the radio.  I fiddled with it until finally settling on 107 the End.  I tried to suppress a smirk at his frown.  Judging by his pre-sets he liked the music just fine.  Not so much me taking control of it.  If some strange wolf was driving my Jeep, Mazda Matt could suck it up.  He should be glad I didn’t put it on country out of sheer spite.

          Thirty minutes later, due to traffic as opposed to distance, we pulled up in front of an expansive house partially obscured by trees.  I shuddered to think of the market value for the area.  They seemed to be having a party due to the sheer number of vehicles parked beside the house.  Shane pulled up as I trailed behind Matt to the door.

          The door opened to a large mudroom with hooks for coats and cubbies for shoes.  About half of them were in use.  Curiously, there were two utilitarian shower stalls that would have looked right at home in a locker room.  I followed Matt’s and Shane’s examples and removed my shoes, tucking them into one of the shelves.

          “We’re having a barbecue on Saturday, so a bunch of us are already here to watch the game,” Shane explained from behind me as I followed Matt down the hallway.  The sounds of men cheering or jeering at a TV screen echoed up from the basement.  My human half was worried about being in a house with a bunch of strange men.  My wolf on the other hand was curious and delighted by the mixture of scents that spoke of wolves.

          How to play this?  Be a general pain in the ass and risk the consequences?  Or be a good little submissive female and not only risk being assimilated, but also subordinate to everyone else.  I always believed in playing to one’s strengths, which meant plan A was go.  Besides, I’d never been accused of having the sense God gave a squirrel.

           Matt stopped by an open doorway and gestured for me to enter.  The man standing behind the desk was certainly not what I was expecting of an Alpha.  For starters, he didn’t look like an arrogant asshole.  Secondly, he was maybe an inch taller than me, and I was considered fairly short.  Underneath his wine, or perhaps blood-red dress shirt he was thin.  The only hint to his status was the intelligence lurking behind his dark eyes, which I merely glimpsed before lowering my own.

           “Welcome, Eleanor,” he came around to shake my hand.  I didn’t know if it was proper protocol or if he somehow knew that I was recently Changed and was sticking to familiar, human customs.  His grip was firm, not crushing like some men, and not too gentle as if he was afraid of breaking me.  It was a bit startling to actually be able to shake his hand properly instead of my hand simply being engulfed by his as was the case with most men.

          “I am Angus Hopper, Alpha of the Emerald City Pack.  You’ve made good time considering you left Revelstoke early this morning.”  Oh that was neatly done, putting me in my place by hinting that he knew more than I suspected, but not exactly how much.  “Have a seat,” he leaned his backside against the desk and gestured to one of the comfortable looking chairs.  It was an order, not an invitation.  And why was I reminded of being called to the principal’s office as written in a Penthouse letter?  Shoving aside x-rated thoughts involving school uniforms and corporal punishment, I tried to look as non-threatening as possible.

          “Been sittin’ in a car so long I’d rather stand if’s all the same.”  Eyes down, properly polite, and heavy on the Southern accent to hide any attitude.

          “I imagine,” he said with a small smile.  “So tell me how you came to be living in Portland, a city currently without a pack.”  Crap on a cracker, there’s no lying my way out of this one.  How does a city that size not have a werewolf pack?

          “I was Changed two-weeks ago,” I sighed and sat in the other chair in defeat, the one he had not indicated, forcing him to shift slightly to face me.  If he didn’t want small acts of defiance, then he shouldn’t have multiple options available.  “I was solo hikin’ in Glacier National Park an’ doin’ a little boulderin’.  One slip an’ I ended up with a broken spinal column at the bottom of a ravine.  By the time John found me, it was Change or die.  Chose what I thought was the lesser o’ two evils.  Stayed with him through the full moon an’ then headed home.”

          “Does John have a last name?” Angus asked with a frown.  My wolf worried that he was displeased with us.  I worried what that might mean for us if he was.

          “He said he’s old an’ the old ones don’t like to give their last names.”  I had to consciously square my shoulders, which had subconsciously rounded under his frown.  He nodded as if the answer wasn’t a surprise to him.

          “And he was willing to let you go so soon?” he asked with an arch of an eyebrow.  It really should be illegal for such a simple gesture to lend an irresistible quality when he was already handsome.  Or that could have just been my imagination because it was hard to read expressions from peripheral vision.

          “Not as such no,” I admitted reluctantly.  “I waited till he went out huntin’ then I booked it back down the mountain.”

          “Why did you feel the need to run?” he asked softly.  Even if I was brave enough to look him in the face I doubted that it would give any clue as to what that tone was in his voice.  I wasn’t necessarily a coward, but I was never comfortable discussing my personal life, let alone with strangers.  Focusing on the rug, or the bookcase, was easier than looking at him.

          “I got a job to get back to an’ I really wasn’t fond o’ the idea o’ bein’ stuck in the backwoods with a crazy old mountain man who’s also a werewolf.”  He was silent, obviously waiting for me to continue.  “I got the feelin’ that even if I was fully in control he wouldn’t let me leave.”

          Angus folded his arms in thought.  “Do you know where John lives?”

          “There’s a map in my glove box.  I could show ya the route to the cabin we stayed at.  There’re no roads, an’ it’s a bit of a hike in.”  Despite my best intentions to the contrary, I was cooperating.  I blamed my wolf, who was eager for his approval.  The Alpha obviously did not like what he was hearing, but it was rapidly becoming apparent that I was not his quarry so I was more than happy to keep him on that trail.  He caught the attention of either Shane or Matt behind me, and a moment later a door shut.  “But I did get the feelin’ that he moves around a lot.”

          “Eleanor,” he began.

          “Ellie, please.”  Angus did frown at the interruption, but hearing my horrible legal name, which the cop must have told him, was like having my fur rubbed the wrong way.

          “Ellie, you’re not in any trouble,” he said soothingly, as if I were a startled horse that might bolt.  Perhaps that analogy wasn’t too far off the mark considering I was practically vibrating with the need to run for the Jeep.  “The manner of your Change was highly unusual, bordering even on breaking our laws.”

          “The law says that no one may be Changed without their explicit permission.  I was coherent enough to give it.”  Ha, that caught him off guard.  That’s right, the newbie knows the rules of the game.  I might not remember anything else around the accident, but things like a weird, hairy mountain man offering to save your life by turning you into a monster tends to stick in a person’s memory.

          “That is true, yes.  However, the second law is that before someone is Changed they must undergo rigorous counseling and testing to determine whether they can become stable wolves,” the Alpha explained.  I forgot for a moment and stared into his dark eyes in shock that someone would make the choice deliberately rather than out of desperation.  I quickly looked away once the surprise faded.

          “A newly Changed wolf lacks control for their first few full moons and requires supervision for the first year,” he continued as if there was no breach of protocol.  “A pack is necessary to guide new wolves.”  He sounded like he had given this speech many times before.  Luckily, he didn’t succumb to dry monotones.

          “Which’s why I was goin’ to pack up an’ move somewhere rural enough I could run off a little steam,” I countered.  “Nurses are always needed everywhere.”

          “This is not just a ‘little steam,’ pup.”  I suppressed a flinch at his growl, as well as a snarl of my own at being called ‘pup.’  He took a deep breath, whether to calm himself or to continue his lecture I didn’t know because the sound of the door opening interrupted.  Shane handed Angus the familiar map, folded in my own fashion that in no way resembled its original creases.  Those things are impossible to refold properly, anyway.  After carefully moving a few items, he unfolded the map over his desk and handed me a pencil.

          “Here’s the trail head.”  I pointed to the circle already marking the spot on Highway 1.  “He follows the main trail through this valley.”  I pointed at the trail, which was already marked from my planning before the trip from hell.  The accent softened as I talked and forgot to maintain it.  “At about here he branches off at different angles each time so that his trail, not being well worn, is hard to pick up until you’re further out and know what you’re looking for.”  I marked an X where I’d gotten lost and decided to just keep following the river down until I found either a trail, humans, or the highway.  “Follow the river up and at the very edge of the park he’s got a cabin right about here.”  I drew a paw print on the spot.  “With the climb in elevation, it would’ve taken me about two days before… before.  Downhill with a light pack, I made it in around eight hours.”

          “Does that say ‘Dogtooth Range’?” Shane asked with a hint of a wry smile.

          “Could’ve been worse.  He could’ve gone for the really obvious with either Grey Fang or Fang Rock,” I smirked and pointed out the so named peaks on the other side of the park.  He snorted a chuckle.

          “You didn’t go to the authorities.”  It was a statement, not a question.

          “And end up in a secret government facility?” I scoffed.  “No thank you.”

          “Where did you stop to rest?” asked Angus.

          “I didn’t.”

          “Fatigue can be as dangerous as alcohol,” he frowned.

          “Have caffeine, will travel,” I quipped.

          “Even though your endurance has improved, you still need rest.  Exhaustion erodes control.”  And back into lecture mode.

          “Like I said, I’m a nurse.  Pulling doubles, even triples, isn’t unusual,” I countered.

          “You passed through the territories of four different packs.”  Someone had probably pulled my credit card history to follow my route in retrospect.  That was fast work, and most definitely illegal.  “How did you avoid detection?”

          “Didn’t stop more’n absolutely necessary,” I shrugged.  “And when I did, I tried to not get out of the car.  Drive-thru, avoided pumping my own gas where I could.”

          With a few taps Angus called someone on his cellphone.  He had to swipe his fingerprint to unlock it, first.  It even had one of those heavy-duty cases, which was probably a good investment for a werewolf.  “Hello, Angus.”  It was still weird how much my hearing had improved, especially back in civilization.

          “Hello, Bran.”  Aw, son of a biscuit.  I really did not want to show up on the Marrock’s radar.  Angus gave a concise report of everything that had happened to me since the accident, as far as he knew, including the pathetic getaway attempt.  I sat back down for the uncomfortable reprise.

          “Send me the map and I’ll have Charles look into it.”  I wasn’t certain how I felt about having just signed John’s death warrant.  The old werewolf wasn’t too specific when he talked about the Grand High Poobah of North America, but he was clear that any time the Marrock sent someone blood was spilled.  “How is she getting on with your pack?”

          “She’s a touch overwhelmed so I thought it best to wait before introducing them en masse.”  I glared at Angus from under lowered lashes, which is harder to do than you would think without looking coy or drunk.

          “If she chooses, escort her to Eugene.  Otherwise I will send someone to fetch her here until she decides where to settle,” Bran said.  My scowl deepened and I opened my mouth to tell them exactly what I thought of their plans.  Shane shook his head almost imperceptibly in warning, though there was more empathy than condemnation in the movement.

          “Please give my greetings to Anna and Charles.”

          “I will.”  The call abruptly ended from the other end.  Our King of the Werewolves was not one for drawn out goodbyes.  Angus took a couple of pictures of the map and sent them off with thumbs flying across the screen fast enough to make a teenager jealous.  Then he did the most supernatural act I’d seen out of a werewolf yet: he carefully folded the map along the original fold lines before handing it back to me.

          I doubled it over and shoved it in my back pocket as I stood.  “If you’ll excuse me, I would like to make it home in time for my shift tomorrow night.”  Although I kept my eyes on the bookshelf, I could feel his stare boring through me till my knees threatened to turn to Jell-O.  Locking one’s knees is a surefire way to eventually pass out, but is effective in the short term.

          “I’m afraid that you will have to change careers.  Even old wolves can have problems around so much blood and the vulnerable.”  The bastard actually managed to sound regretful.

          “I have neither the money nor the inclination to go back to school.  Not to mention I’m a little old for that.”  Must not growl at the Alpha, I mentally chanted for the benefit of my human half.

          “Loans can be arranged, and I’ve known werewolves who were alive when the Magna Carta was signed and earned their doctorate two or three times over.”  He sounded so cool and collected as if we weren’t discussing what was the beginning of what was theoretically to be my extremely long life.  “The more immediate issue is how much control you have.”

          “If I don’t get my act together by this time next year I’m put down.”  Don’t know why I spared him when it would have been so much more fun to watch him squirm.

          “Not only that, but you must be able to shift form and back at will.”  People go through that much pain willingly?  “New wolves need a pack to teach them control and to prevent unnecessary bloodshed when the wolf takes over until control is regained.  We cannot afford one mistake lest we all disappear into secret government facilities at best, or hunted down and exterminated at worst.”  Angus’ voice achieved a deeper timbre that coiled through the room like some living thing as he seemed to be losing patience.  “You will stay the night here.  In the morning Shane and Matt will escort you to Eugene to be presented to the pack there.”  Ooh, presented like a gift.  Who could resist such a command?  Oddly enough, my wolf did not like this plan either, but not because of the authoritarianism.

          “And if I don’t want to join a pack?”  It’s difficult to arch an eyebrow effectively while avoiding eye contact.  But not impossible.

          “That is not an option,” he shook his head.  “Even if you were not so new, our females are so rare they not allowed to become lone wolves.”  That’s what John had said, but I hoped that it was a lie to keep me from leaving.  The whole damn lot of them were so possessive it’s a wonder they even realized they were in the 21st century.  And I didn’t belong to anyone.  Not any more.

          “Fine.  But I’ve driven from here to Eugene many times so I think we can dispense with the escort.”  I waved vaguely over my shoulder to where Shane still lurked by the door.

          “That is non-negotiable.  As a dominant male and even more so as an Alpha I have a responsibility to see a submissive female delivered safely to another pack.”  Oh bloody hell.  John was right.  They could tell from one’s energy, no matter how much I tried to hide behind my sass.  “Not all dominants that you might meet along the way would be as tolerant of your attitude as I am.”

          “More arbitrary rules from on high,” I said flatly and folded my arms.  “Tell me, is His Furriness one of those at the signing of the Magna Carta?  No wonder ya’ll’s thinking’s so medieval.”

          Angus grabbed me by the back of the neck and snarled in my face.  Reflexively, I stiffened and closed my eyes to avoid looking at him.  His grip was tight, but not painful.  One quick twist and he could snap my neck.  I was pretty sure that was one injury from which there was no recovery.

          “The Marrock set down our laws for reasons you cannot yet comprehend.  You don’t have to understand our ways yet, but before God you will show respect,” he snarled.  There wasn’t anything I could say to that, so with an involuntary shudder I went limp in his grasp as my wolf temporarily took over.  Well, there were things I could say, but self-preservation and my wolf stayed my tongue.  After a minute, he released me, stepped away, and turned his back.  The strength I had just experienced first hand was evident in the taut lines of his wiry shoulders.

          My heart pounded in my throat while in the back of my head my wolf howled her anguish at having been chastised.  As a result, my self-preservation went right out the window.  “My respect is earned, not freely given.  If I’d realized that my choices consisted of which pack I was going to be the lowest bitch in, I’d have told John to bugger off.”  At least he’d have made sure that it was quick and clean.

          The Alpha breathed deeply and was quiet for exactly ten seconds.  Basic relaxation techniques to manage the beast within?  And they thought they could teach me something in that area?  When he was done, but not noticeably calmer, he turned around to lean against the desk again.  “We have a rigorous screening process to avoid situations like this.  Dominant lone wolves are the last people who should be teaching pack structure to a submissive female.”

          “Please stop using that term.”

          “‘Female’?”

          “Used as an adjective, it refers to a person.  As a noun, it denotes something less than human.  An animal.”  Like breeding pairs.  Good thing I never wanted to procreate anyway.

          “Get used to the terminology.”  If he were human, he’d have developed a new frown line from this conversation alone.  “In the constant struggles for dominance, females and submissives are the center of a pack since they do not rise in rank, except for when their mate does in the case of females.”  If I didn’t like ‘female,’ I despised ‘mate,’ which seemed a ridiculous term for a species that couldn’t bear children.  “With submissives, dominants don’t have to constantly watch their back.  And the pack will unite to protect these weaker members.”  Oh if he thought I was weak, he had another thing coming.  “Female submissives are so valued that any pack would welcome you.”  ‘Submissive’ as a noun was definitely not an improvement.  “But none would tolerate your disrespect for long.”

          “That’s exactly why I should just be on my merry way,” I said brightly.  “I’m really more trouble than I’m worth.”

          “Nice try,” he smirked.  “Dinner is in thirty minutes.  You’ll want to freshen up.”  True to my nature I wanted to deny hunger despite not having eaten since well before the border crossing.  I’d worn the same clothes for the past twenty-four hours straight, which included a frantic run down a mountain through unfamiliar woods, and my hands still smelled like gasoline.

          I was still noticing just how many interesting smells I was covered in when a tall, perky blonde swept through the door.  She must have practically been listening down the hallway, not that, that was necessary.  Everyone in the house had probably heard me mouthing off.  I’d forgotten about that.  Great first impression.

          “Please show Ellie to the guest suite.”  Mickayla gave a sloppy salute, earning a scowl from her fearless leader, then cocked her head in silent invitation to follow her.

          “You’re up on the second floor,” she said as she led me upstairs.  “Hopefully you’re not afraid of heights after your accident,” she grinned.

          “Are you kidding?  I’ve always wanted to try free climbing, but was too scared.  Now I totally want to,” I said.

          “Don’t mention that to any of the guys or they’ll have kittens.”  Her golden laugh bounced through the stairway.

          “Now I’m picturing a bunch of them at the base of a cliff with a giant trampoline like in cartoons when there’s a fire,” I chuckled and she joined me.

          “This is you,” she waved a welcoming arm through an open doorway.  “Matt already brought your backpack and duffel up.”  My bags were indeed sitting on a low, wide dresser against the nearest wall.  The queen bed with its elegant down comforter faced the door.  A door on the right led to a bathroom, although I had no idea how I was going to be able to do my business in a house full of people who could hear through walls.

          “Thanks.”

          “No worries.  You need anything you just give a shout.  Wait, you’re new.  No actual shouting necessary, just a sort of ‘hey’ so we know you’re not talking to yourself,” she winked.

          “Um, Mickayla?”  She turned back to me.  “What’s it like being in a pack?”

          She stepped into the room with a small smile and shut the door behind her, for all the good that would do.  “I don’t know this John, but sometimes wolves go lone because they can’t handle being in a pack.”

          “Yeah, he did seem more than a little biased.”  I dug out the Ziploc of toiletries and the bundle that was the last clean outfit I’d originally saved for the last day of the drive home, but didn’t dare stop long enough along the way to change.

          “Think of a healthy pack more as one big family.”  Mickayla flopped onto the bed with one leg tucked up under her, yet kept her voice low enough to not carry.  “Complete with the usual amount of dysfunction and bickering.  They’re really like a bunch of brothers, uncles, and cousins who are all trying to protect the little sister.”

          As she talked, I leaned against the bathroom doorway and started to brush my teeth.  They had fuzzy sweaters from the energy drinks I’d downed to stay awake.  “But then again, I’m married,” she continued.  “If you’re single then the unmated ones will all come sniffing around.  It’s not that bad!” she laughed at my expression of dawning horror.  “Even if any of them would push their luck and call down the wrath of their Alpha, the closest dom would thrash them, or if they couldn’t, tag someone in who could.  Mind you, I’m only talking about the Emerald City Pack.  I was Changed two years ago because my mate, Matt, was already a wolf.  Before that there were no other girls for I don’t know how long.”

          “They weren’t kidding when they said that women are rare,” I said around the toothbrush and foam that probably made me look rabid.  She laughed again, although it was hard to tell whether it was at my surprise or the toothpaste.

          “We’re more functional than not here.  But there are some stories out there of Alphas who went bad.  I don’t know much about the Eugene pack, but I haven’t heard any horror stories either,” she shrugged.  “You know, it’s funny, women are supposed to be huge gossips, but most werewolves are men and we all gossip worse than any housewife.”  I laughed and promptly choked, so I shut the bathroom door and started the shower as I finished brushing.

          “You’re going to need to get over that modesty.”  Mickayla’s voice was easily heard through the door and over the running water.

          “Oh?” I asked archly.  She couldn’t see the glare through the door as I undressed.

          “It’s incredibly painful to shift while wearing clothes.  So pack runs, full moons…”

          “I’ve just been told I have to switch careers, move to a new city, am no longer allowed to leave town without a babysitter, and when it comes to my place in a pack my only option is which one do I want to be at the bottom of the pecking order in.  Oh, and all the single guys will be eyeing me like a juicy steak.  Now you’re telling me I have to become an exhibitionist?  No thank you, I’m going to maintain whatever little control over my life I have left.”  It took all my willpower to not punch something.  If I had to move and look for work there was no way I could afford to replace anything in this bathroom, too.

          “If the pack’s good, you’ll be on a pedestal, more or less, not the low man on the totem pole.”

          “Great, I always wanted to be Princess Peach stuck in the castle,” I muttered sarcastically.  “I’ll see you downstairs.”

          “Ellie, I promise that it’s not as bad as it seems,” she said before leaving.

          I stood lost in thought in my office for some time after she left, bathed in the complex layers of smells that confirmed her story.  Mountain air, evergreens, sweat both old and nervous, gasoline, fast food, and no small amount of stress.  Amidst the melange was a thread of fear.  If it was any stronger, I would have called Alan, the pack’s only submissive, to come and help calm her before everyone got riled up trying to fix whatever upset her.  But under the circumstances, her fear was to be expected.  And he was working tonight.

          Tension had been running high in the pack ever since we went public.  Another submissive to ease the strain would be a boon, and a second medic would not go amiss.  Her presence would stir up a rash of dominance fights among the unmated males until she starting seeing someone.  That is, if she could be housebroken.  Time would show whether her defiance was born of ignorance or emotional pressure.  Her knowledge of our primary laws would suggest the latter, though I preferred to avoid premature conclusions.

          A younger wolf, or one who wasn’t as high in the hierarchy, might find such calculations cold, especially in regards to a submissive female whose Change had been particularly traumatic.  But you don’t get to be an old Alpha without assessing the strengths and weaknesses of your pack members and determining how they can best be used for the betterment of the whole.

          As much as I was loath to let her leave, even if the Marrock hadn’t mandated, protocol and courtesy demanded that the Eugene pack have right of first refusal.  Appropriate that Eugene was also referred to as the Emerald City, but we had claimed the name before the Portland pack had relocated there.  Ordinarily I would have my second, Tom, call to arrange things with the other pack, but the unique situation and the fact that he was on duty called for a personal touch, even if my third, Shane, wasn’t preparing for the trip.  Besides, their Alpha, Colin, would be pissed if I dropped this grenade, no matter how attractive or useful she was, in his lap without warning.  No, not a bomb.  Panicked ferret, maybe.  Still not pleasant, but not as disastrous.  And they could be cute, when they weren’t baring their teeth.

          Stifling a sigh, I found Colin’s cell number in my phone and called him up.

Notes: This was written two years ago and was my first fan fiction and my first attempt at writing over 10 years.

Matt and Shane live in Redmond, thus why they were able to carpool so quickly. It was sheer luck that they spotted the lime green, mud-splattered Jeep as they headed down the 405 after Tom asked them to try and track her while he covered I-5 South. Of course, Ellie didn't know that, nor does she think it's lucky at all.

Ellie was hiking along the easterly side of Glacier National Park of Canada in BC, not too far from Revelstoke, which has some great hot springs, by the way.

[chiauve]

Day 7: free day

Yeah this is long over but too bad. Time for young Birkin and Wesker pseudo cuddles maybe, with a touch of angst kinda.

----

Birkin didn’t like being home, but he loved being in his own bed again. His big, expensive, soft bed with all the blankets piled on top because it was the middle of winter. His pillow was a feather down one, old enough the fluff was mostly gone and it was a comfortable, malleable wad he could fold or flatten at his leisure. He rocked side to side until the blankets cocooned him and then wriggled into it until only a tuft of dirty blond hair was visible.

Bliss.

It was winter break and the university cleared out. Birkin had been, unfortunately, summoned home for Christmas and was in no position to say no. Even his declaration of dedication that required him to stay and study got him nothing but a guilt trip from his mother.

Wesker had no family and nowhere to go for the holidays, but he was content to stay in the room alone and catch up on the bit of work he missed on his last runabout. With copious amounts of smoking and drinking in between.

Birkin simply could not allow that. Let Wesker study while he was forced to go home and suffer familial drudgery? Birkin knew he was smarter than Wesker, but like hell he’d give the other boy a chance to get to his level.

Also he’d grown accustomed to Wesker being around. They worked well together, shared some of the same ideas, tried to outdo each other endlessly...and yet it was beneficial, pushing both of them to do better in an innate, assholish need to boot the other off their shared pedestal.

Suddenly the idea of actually being on that pedestal alone while facing his family did not seem so appealing.

He invited Wesker home with him, it was the charitable thing to do, after all, Wesker being all alone. Wesker didn’t fall for that but agreed anyway. Birkin assumed curiosity, or maybe he just didn’t want to be stuck in the dorms for two weeks. They were creepy enough when people were actually in them.

It immediately went downhill as William’s brother Caleb forgot to pick them up from the train station, followed by his parents deciding Wesker belonged in a dumpster somewhere and not in their house. They didn’t say this out loud, of course, for they were proper people of good breeding and treated their guests well even if they hated their guts. Snide comments aside, and outright insults whenever said guest wasn’t present.

Wesker was declared a Tommy faggot by William’s father as soon as he left with Caleb to be shown the guest room.

“He’s not British, dad,” William sighed in frustration.

His father just hmphed at him, reminded him firmly to watch his tone, and straightened the newspaper before grilling him on his schooling and the unbridled stupidity of not becoming a medical doctor like Caleb, like him, like his father...et cetera ad nauseum.

Dinner was a disaster for everyone and William eventually tuned it out. He was good at that. It came in handy when trying to study and work, but in this case he kept looking at Wesker.

How he remained so calm and collected while being passively insulted was beyond Birkin, especially considering Wesker had a hell of a temper sometimes. More than that...he was required by house rule to be presentable for dinner. Caleb loaned him some clothes and with hair gel they tamed Wesker’s mop into a ponytail that could be tucked under the collar of his shirt.

With his face free of a framing of hair and his usual shades, Wesker looked...good. Birkin never really noticed before. Oh, he acknowledged Wesker was dealt a far better hand than him in the looks department but it had otherwise barely registered. Now it did.

He had...a pleasing facial structure. His eyes were pale, almost drab grey, but somehow very intense at the moment. He was raging inside, but somehow managed to keep it under control, playing nice with false smiles and his own ever so polite underhanded insults and suggestions. Nothing outright that his hosts could take offense at, but enough.

Birkin sat in discomfort as a weird sensation formed in his belly and traveled downward.

The feeling was stalled when Birkin noticed his older sister Beatrice also giving Wesker intensive look-overs. Gross.

He didn’t apologize to Wesker after the meal and the other boy didn’t expect one. After showing Wesker around the large house, including the impressive family library, they went over some notes from classes together in Birkin’s room and then parted for the night.

And Birkin was comfortable and had no intention of moving.

He startled awake at the sound of his door opening. Blinking blearily he checked the alarm clock by his bed. It was past one in the morning. The silhouette in his doorway was immediately recognizable by long hair before it disappeared as Wesker shut the door behind him.

Birkin’s eyes adjusted as Wesker dropped something on the floor. His sleeping bag. It was permanent inventory in his duffel he took everywhere.

“What are you doing?” Birkin hissed from his blanket mound.

“Your guest room sucks,” Wesker muttered.

Birkin stuck his head out of the blankets to gape in both confusion and annoyance at Wesker. Their guest room was designed with the idea that if someone of great import arrived at their home they would have the greatest comforts; the bed and sheets were the best, the decor tasteful but not overwhelming, their own bathroom and shower, a shelf of books of various genres, and one of the best views in the house overlooking the garden, meticulously maintained by the help.

And Wesker preferred the floor in his sleeping bag? Birkin knew he was weird but even Wesker recognized...

Wesker was jittery. His hands shook a little as he unzipped his sleeping bag.

He did not do jittery, or unnerved, not where anyone could see him, anyway.

Again, Birkin asked, “What are you doing?”

Wesker dropped the sleeping bag with a sigh, crossing his arms and looking anywhere but at Birkin. “Your house makes weird noises.”

A lie, and a shitty one at that. The house did get loud when it settled, it was old, but like that would bother Wesker. He could sleep anywhere. Did, with those shades on his face most times.

“Fine,” Birkin grumbled, let Wesker do weird Wesker things, “sleep in here tonight, then get out.” He rolled over and put his back to the other boy and tried to wriggle back into the blankets.

It was quiet a long time, no sound of Wesker getting into his sleeping bag, or of him leaving. Suddenly the mattress dipped as Wesker slid onto the bed.

A third time, “What are you doing!?” Birkin quietly shrieked.

“Your bed’s big enough, I’m not gonna sleep on a hardwood floor if I don’t have to,” Wesker said, giving Birkin a shove to make him worm over.

“You don’t have to, go back to your room!”

“No.”

It was harsh and it was desperate. He could feel the slight tremors through the mattress.

Birkin twisted himself just enough he could turn his face to Wesker. He didn’t want to ask, but, “What happened?”

Wesker’s back was to him, his arms crossed petulantly, but his flat voice was anything but. “I don’t know.”

Birkin grumbled and sighed. He didn’t like that tone, not from Wesker. It was tired, almost defeated, and Birkin should relish it from his rival but he didn’t.

When it came down to it, Wesker was his only ally in the whole world.

He kicked at his blankets until they came loose from around him. “Get under here, then,” he groused, “before you freeze.” The heating at night was minimal and Wesker’s night getup was a worn t-shirt and boxers.

Wesker turned his head and gave him a long look before he complied, grabbing the blankets and snaking himself under them. Birkin yelped at his cold feet.

“Is this going to cause a problem? If we’re caught like this?” Wesker asked.

“Nobody bothers me unless I oversleep.”

Wesker nodded and settled himself. He always woke up before Birkin anyway.

“Just for tonight,” Birkin repeated.

“Of course.”

They lay back to back a long time until, half asleep, Birkin rolled over and wriggled against the other boy, enjoying the source of heat. Wesker said nothing nor moved away.

He left when the sun rose, returning to the guest room to make use of the private bathroom while Birkin battled it out with his older siblings for the shared one and lost.

Wesker’s sleeping bag remained kicked under Birkin’s bed. The guest bed remained unused, and every morning for the rest of their vacation Birkin woke up with long blond hair in his mouth and snuggling his roommate.

It was Birkin’s best Christmas vacation.

[official-mermaid]

#9 for Queliot?

9. things you said when i was cryingSure, got it!

Words of Comfort (on AO3)

Quentin didn’t usually cry during his depressive episodes.

His depression wasn’t so much a tidal wave or a hurricane asit was a drought. It was like everything he felt got dried up. He’d get numb, careless,empty. Food didn’t taste good anymore. Movies didn’t make him laugh or hurt orsmile or cry. Music didn’t calm him. The sun didn’t warm him.

Whatever, it was manageable enough. Quentin was used to it,more or less. As much as you could ever get used to having chronicclinical depression.

It was like getting used to anything miserable. You compartmentalize,you deal, you dismiss. You minimize.

So that’s what Quentin did; he pushed it aside. As much ashe could, anyway.

But this wasn’t one of Quentin’s typical depressiveepisodes.

He wasn’t sure exactly what it was—fuck, maybe it was themedication change. Maybe it was the stress. Maybe it was his dad getting sick, orhis mom’s passive aggressive messages, or the change in scenery. Maybe it wasall of it. There was a lot going on, and it had been overwhelming, and the damjust kind of broke.

In any case, Quentin had been having, well, a time.

He had to keep avoiding people. It wasn’t like they didn’t knowhe was depressed—Quentin didn’t exactly hide it. They were grad students,anyway, weren’t they all kind of depressed? Well, like, maybe not in quitethe same way as Quentin, but still.

That didn’t mean he was super into the idea of people seeinghim cry. Not because he was embarrassed. Whatever, who cared, they’d watched TheNeverending Story all together in the Cottage one night, everyoneknew he had functioning tear ducts.

No, the thing he hated was that look people got ontheir faces sometimes. That mix of panic, pity, and impatience. He didn’t needanyone feeling sorry for him. He didn’t need anyone telling him to lighten upor get over it. And he really didn’t need to have people look at himdifferent, like he was fucking fragile or something.

He’d been dealing with this bullshit his whole life. He knewhow to manage it, mostly, but yeah, sometimes he was more of a disaster thanother times. What else was new.

So Quentin was keeping his head down as he was trying to getthrough the Cottage to hide in his room for a while.

This would pass, it always passed, but he just neededsome time alone, and—

“Q?”

Fuck.

Quentin panicked, mumbled something incoherent that he hopedsounded like an excuse, and half-fled into his room.

He held his breath, leaning against the door. Hoping he gotaway with it.

He stifled a groan when there was a light knock on the door.

“Hey, Q?” Eliot said, tentatively. “You alright?”

“Um,” Quentin replied. Brilliant, Q, you’ve definitelyconvinced him you’re fine.

“May I come in?”

Defeated, Quentin sighed, pushing himself off of the doorand opening it. He stepped to the side, hiding his face behind his hair as helet Eliot into the room.

Eliot closed the door, moving in front of Quentin. Hereached out slowly, tucking Quentin’s hair behind his ear and brushing tearsfrom his cheeks gently with his thumb.

Quentin leaned away a little, curling in on himself. “Look,I’m fine,” he mumbled. “It’s nothing. I’m, um, I’m fine.”

“Sure.”

“It’s really nothing.”

“Right, of course.”

“I’m fine.”

“I’m agreeing with you.”

Quentin rolled his eyes, heading to sit on his bed. Hetucked his legs into his chest, resting his chin on his knees. Eliot followedhim, sitting close to him. He rested a hand on Quentin’s leg, rubbing his thumbagainst it.

“It’s just—” Quentin started. There was this thing about Eliot—hejust made Quentin blurt out his feelings, whatever he was thinking. It wasweird, because there was something so intimidating about Eliot, too, butQuentin couldn’t help it. He just wanted to tell Eliot everything. “It’s notalways like this, y’know? I don’t know, I mean, I—like, having this thing, itusually just feels like everything is pointless and empty or whatever.”

Eliot shifted closer, moving his arm over Quentin’sshoulders. Quentin found himself leaning in.

“It doesn’t usually feel so… I don’t know. Fucking—like, sad,or something,” Quentin went on, sniffling a little. He tried to cover it,but he doubted it worked, especially considering the way Eliot gently squeezedhis shoulder and pulled him in tighter. “I mean, like—usually, I can just, Idon’t know. Distance myself? Feel numb to the whole pointlessness of life? But,uh. It’s different. Right now. I just… Fuck, Eliot. I don’t… I don’t want tofeel like this.”

His voice broke completely on the last sentence, the tearsbasically streaming down his face. God, it was so fucking hard, why dideverything seem so easy for everyone else? How was everyone else just living,and Quentin’s stupid broken brain couldn’t just pull itself together?

He didn’t want to go back, things were supposed to bebetter now. He had magic—he had this place, these people. He wasn’tsupposed to feel like this anymore.

“I don’t know if it’ll help,” Eliot started slowly. “But,well. It’s okay, Quentin.”

Quentin couldn’t help it—he scoffed.

Eliot let out a short chuckle. “I know how it sounds. Andtrust me, I know how it sounds coming from me. But you’re going to bealright, Q. You’ve had good days—they’ll come back. And in the meantime, well,it’s okay that everything sucks right now. It happens.”

“Doesn’t feel okay,” Quentin muttered into Eliot’s shoulder.He felt so childish, but like—it didn’t feel okay. It felt like it wasnever going to be okay again.

“Hm, I know,” Eliot said, kissing his forehead lightly. “It’scertainly no fun.”

“I just—I wanna be okay.”

“Oh, Q.” Eliot rubbed Quentin’s arm. “At the risk of soundinglike an after-school special, you will be okay. I promise.”

“I’m holding you to that,” Quentin replied, his mouthtwitching up in a slight smile.

“Of course, I expect you to.” Eliot leaned away a little tolook Quentin in the eyes. “I do hate to see you sad, but it’s alright to not beokay for a while. I’ll be here with you while we wait it out.”

The sincerity in his tone and gaze was a little staggering.Quentin so rarely saw Eliot get that serious. He felt his throat tighten, avery different kind of tear welling in his eyes.

“Thanks,” Quentin said, his voice soft.

“Don’t mention it,” Eliot said kindly. He paused, his expressionreverting back to the cool aloof cat-like look Quentin knew so well. “No,really, don’t mention it. I’d hate for word to get out that I can be niceand comforting. It would completely ruin my reputation, and I simply can’thave that.”

Quentin snorted. “I think people already know, El.”

Eliot shook his head, scoffing dramatically. “How dare you,honestly.”