#no really actually autistic
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everyone cool shold join this server
https://discord.gg/46nCcXvvCa if you if you like if you join. we have:
people
queers
lesbiab
tha t kit thats like plural and shit if you really want i gues.
nathan
very quick easy verification
great reviews:
^ she loved it!
#queer#lgbtqia#daft punk#hylics#httyd#shadow the hedgehog#did system#worms#discord server#goolancher#all up in that#actually autistic#no really actually autistic#join#sexy#transgender#garn47#actually plural#roblox#aliens#alien#flat earth#grandma#artists on tumblr#autists on tumblr#help#half life blue shift#hlvrai#gordon feetman#fursona
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Puppyboy behavior is so nice for the autism drain, like yeh I'd like to be muzzled then I don't have to talk and can go mute, yeh I wanna be harnessed because the pressure across my skin feels so relaxing, not to mention the fact I get to let go and not really think too hard about much of anything
#<33#t4t nsft#nsft puppy#nblm thoughts#yearning#nblm yearning#t4t mlm#ftm nsft#trans nsft#nblm#puppy barks#ftm puppy#puppy nsft#puppyboy#puppypl4y#t4t puppy#trans puppy#puppy sub#dumb puppy#bd/sm puppy#this isn't even really nsft but yeh know#autistic nsft#actually autistic
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Don't laugh at people or mock people who are "childish". People are allowed to like things that are considered "childish". Toys, kids cartoons, anything like that can be a valuable source of comfort for the people who like them. It's important to have things in life that make you happy, and without them it gets miserable. Wether that thing is stuffed animals or cooking or writing lyrics, what's important is that others don't ridicule and belittle them for it. There shouldn't be such judgement for the things that make people happy.
#i'm just really pissed rn#once again my family is making fun of me to my face for having a lot of stuffed animals#they make me comfortable and happy#especially when i'm overwhelmed#i shouldn't even NEED to justify it like this#serious post#my post#autism#sfw agere#age regression#actually autistic#serious talk#important#idk what to tag#neurodivergent
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My first ever comic con! And first cosplay too. Of course it's gonna be my boy :] Ramblings about the process are under the cut(Let me know if?? You would want me to elaborate with process images for any of the steps?)
The costume took me forever to make, as I've never done any machine sewing, sculpting, fabric dying or spray painting before but learning all of these was so fucking fun!! I never realised just how many different skills go into making a cosplay but it was so worth it!!!
Almost all of the clothes(except the hat) were purchased first as bases, but all of the detailing was added by me. All of the fabric used was originally just scraps that I was given for free so I needed to learn how to dye and dye all of the stars, they were originally white.
The sewing machine was its own beast that brought me tons of frustration from the lack of skill and knowledge (it was devastating to find out that 95% of fuck ups were my fault and not the machine's lmao). But as a result, a hat sewn from scratch, all of the fur trims, embroidery on the corset, stars and the collar(which is very hard to see on the pictures unfortunately) was all added manually. The stars and the stripes(on the back of the cape) were attached using heat-and-bond adhesive (I WISH I knew about such thing just when I started working on this. It would save me so much time and nerves.)
Then I found out about polymorph(mouldable plastic) and it has become the next thing I wanted to learn, to sculpt the claws and the fangs(yes, they're handmade jfksjs). The claws I then primed and painted in trillion coats because I wasn't satisfied with the colour of the spray paint. The fangs I moulded to my own teeth and then stained with tea to match the colour of my teeth :)c
As for makeup, I used Mehron Paradise water activated paints. At first I wanted to try to save money and bought myself Snazaroo instead, which unfortunately turned out to be a waste. Snazaroo didn't hold on my face for longer than 2 hours, cracking and peeling awfully. Mehron on the other hand survived 11 hours of me smiling, talking, emoting and such and didn't even crease at the smile lines(I'm actually shocked about that). It obviously works like any other makeup which means your skin texture and wrinkles won't go anywhere but Mehron's elasticity pleasantly surprised me. It did obviously smear from sweat and saliva(if you're eating and licking your lips) but if you don't touch the skin it just dries again, self setting. But if it's dry it's fully smear-proof. Highly recommend!
And last but not least, I've decided against painting my hands as it was very risky that I will stain everything I touch at the smallest hint of sweat. So instead I got myself gloves-tights(? Not sure how they're called but it's made from the same fabric as tights) and painted them with normal acrylic paint(did you know you could dye fabric with acrylic paint? I personally didn't), then heat set with an iron and voilà, they're reusable, my hands are not stained after an exhausting day and I don't stain everything I touch. It worked wonderfully which honestly was a surprise as I was really sceptical that acrylic paint will somehow stay in place.
I think this whole thing took me minimum of 6 months with big-big breaks for my school and life in general. But I'm really proud! This project taught me so many new skills and I couldn't have been happier about learning new knowledge, even if it sucked to fail in the meantime.
Everyone at the con was really nice and gave me a large confidence boost even tho it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing. Taking photos with other people was really awkward/new for me as I hate cameras so I really had no idea how to pose/behave in front of one. But that's okay I think. This whole experience definitely made me want to do this again, so I think that will come with experience. Thank you for reading this far, hope you enjoyed this little summary :)
#my art#cosplay#biting the hand that feeds au#moondrop#fnaf moondrop#fnaf moon#moondrop fnaf#moon fnaf#bhtf moondrop#i had such a good time#little awkward moments of me being autistic and not reading social cues and/or having trouble processing didn't go anywhere#but that's okay#i don't think i was ever complimented as much as i was complimented at the con so that's a W#artist alley was definitely an experience of me just finding out how actually autistic i am#because i really Am Not Interested in anything aside from my special interests#literally got myself a singular Moon sticker and a singular Mothman print#that's it lmfaooo#i also had people come up to me to just give me a tiny plastic newborn toy and run away#10/10 hilarious#bhtf au#i MIGHT just draw Moon in some of those poses because 👀#also maybe will make a separate post just showing off all of the details that are not as noticeable on camera? maybe? if yall would want#the cape and the hat ARE SO FUCKING FLUFFY#thank you silvermizuki for the fur🫵
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First meet
#call of duty#modern warfare#call of duty modern warfare#MWII#CoD MWII#CoD MWIII#MWIII#blender renders#Simon Riley#Simon Ghost Riley#Johnny Mactavish#GhostSoap#SoapGhost#Ghoap#that's otter next to soap#I think it would be really funny if he knows about ghost being intense and autistic#and just doesn't tell soap the first time they're actually on base together#just to see what happens#Ghost just got back from a mission
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anyway here's wavewave
#transformers#transformers g1#wavewave#shockwave#soundwave#deeco art#idk why this pairing tickles my brain so much#the idea of two of the decepticons' loyalest members who at first glance seem to be the same type of quiet logical no-nonsense type#but when you really look at them you start to see their differences and how they actually work well together#but also like design-wise. romance between two robots with no visible 'face' is so sexy RAAAAAGGHHH#anyway i enjoy wavewaves dynamic in any continuity#but my personal make-believe (delusional) favorite dynamic is where shocky is just an Evil Science Nerd and soundy is her sexy goth gf#Me and the Bad Bitch I Pulled by Being Autistic kind of stuff basically
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Hearing about the way other people interact so easily makes me feel like there is something deeply wrong with me embedded into my soul
#personal#bpd#actually bpd#bpd vent#actually borderline#like oh its that easy for even people who tell me they arent social ever 😭#something has gotta be wrong. is it social anxiety? is it bpd? AM I AUTISTIC#I feel like I lowkey am sometimes based on early childhood experiences too#you could literally not get me to talk to anyone unless it was family for a really long time
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Stimming isn't enough. I need to violently vibrate out of existence
#autism#asd#actually autistic#actually adhd#adhd#actually audhd#autism memes#adhd memes#me whenever I see anything related to Shadow The Hedgehog or Sonadow#like I actually start foaming at the mouth on the spot (not really but shabsjsbsjsb)#h a p p y 👹
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
#spilled ink#writeblr#personal#please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it#i really try not to write so specifically about it#bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child#i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years#i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum#and if u say ur autistic#inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms#please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do#and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find#the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic#someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.
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If I wasn't familiar with Ace Attorney and you asked me which one of these is an edited meme and which one is an actual line he says if you pick the wrong answer I'd be flabbergasted to hear the truth.
#the ui probably gives it away#but the first really feels like a sassy line Edgeworth would say#and the second one made me scream when I actually saw it happen during a playthrough#when your crush says something so stupid you use your autistic rizz#wrightworth#because you know who he said this to#narumitsu#miles edgeworth#phoenix wright#ace attorney
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@adamfare1996
#autism#actually autistic#autism research#autism resources#why can’t we get the resources we really need?#it looks like all the sources and research are more focused on kids than adults#that’s not fair imo#feel free to reblog/share#source: X @adamfare1996
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I’m really surprised how few people are talking about the autistic subtext in I saw the tv glow. I feel like so much of this movie is about what it’s like getting lost in a hyperfixation. It’s about feeling like you’re not meant to exist in the world you’re in because it wasn’t built for you. It’s about how sometimes fictional characters will do more for you than the people in your real life. It’s about having a meltdown in public and everyone ignoring you because they see you as crazy and beyond help and then having to apologize for it. It’s about feeling more real in a world that only exists in your head, no sees you for you, no one understands exactly what you are. So much of this movie is about disability and mental illness and how isolating those experiences can be. I’m screaming.
#i saw the tv glow#actually autistic#this is not to dismiss the trans subtext of course#I just think that analysis of this movie isn’t really complete without looking at it through the lens of disability
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I don't wanna further hijack that poor poll, but the thing about Harrow's schizophrenia is that it's canon. The author has confirmed it, and shared that it's based on her own experience.
It's a pretty obscure bit of canon, so of course there's no shame in not already knowing, but that's why I'm so obnoxiously persistent about letting people know.
Whatever else is up with Harrow, autism or cptsd or any number of likely headcanons, she is also schizophrenic. I feel like that's too important to be handwaved away as a difference of opinion.
#like of course not everyone knows I'm not the kind of asshole who gets mad about someone not having heard about an unrecorded con panel#not knowing is one thing#erasing or ignoring that aspect of her is something completely different#like yeah she's incredibly relateable in that way#and I know how comforting it can be to project your own dx onto someone and go 'wow shes just like me fr'#but I really feel like doing that re: Harrow's schizophrenia is a huge lost opportunity for growth#and I hate that the takeaway for so many people is 'Harrow is autistic'#and not 'oh cool didn't know autism and schizophrenia had so much overlap in experience'#relate to psychotic people without flinching challenge#anyway. tl;dr:#if you didn't already know then I have the coolest new fun fact about Harrow to share with you!!#if you do already know but have elicted to ignore it then a little bit fuck you actually#but I will ALWAYS assume someone didn't know before assuming they're being a dick#the locked tomb#harrow nonagesimus#harrowhark nonagesimus#harrow the ninth
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my dear friend @marlenacantswim asked me to draw the TOS yaoi polycule and i want you to know this is what the whole show is like to me
#in many ways jim kirk as a character is like. what if laios touden was in starfleet#i would really like to see that actually i think laios would have a great time in star trek#just a very autistic very asexual dude stuck in the horniest television show known to man#walking up to random aliens like hello sir do you have a cloaca :)#imagine him finding out about the concept of pon farr#‘chilchuck!! this lady said its pon farr night at the vulcan nightclub!!!’#chilchuck: 😐🍺🚬#anyway#mcspirk#i need to watch more tos i keep thinking about the episode where they steal spocks brain#good episode. great tv#star trek fanart#star trek tos#star trek the original series#jim kirk#s’chn t’gai spock#bones mccoy#spirk#love the fact that the only other ship name for kirk/spock is kock. this amuses me#noah.jpg#star trek
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The Ryoko Kui interview's reception is such a disaster over a pretty normal (yet still flawed) interview between a non-Japanese fan and Japanese artistic. This is discourse for discourse's sake, and it's no surprise that almost every Twitter user I've looked at who's using this interview to parade Kui around as a goated mangaka standing strong against Western ideology is anti-trans.
Like, I do think the interview was kinda wonky with its focus on fandom culture, which Kui clearly didn't have much interest in. But sometimes that happens. Sometimes interactions between two people, especially a fan and a creator, two people who view and interact with a piece of media in completely opposite perspectives, don't click. Does this really need to get blown up into a "West vs. East culture war" issue.
Anyways, Kui saying "I don't consider my audience's interpretations when writing. I leave it to their imaginations, but I have my own read on things too" is the healthiest, most normal thing an artist/writer who wants a non-parasocial audience could say. Artists and writers use this line all the time. If Kui didn't enjoy autistic Laius or Farcille headcanons, she would have probably voiced/signalled her discomfort, like she did on the topic of Senshi fanservice. Overall, Kui handled the interview really well. Props to her to sticking to her guns and keeping a healthy disconnect from the fandom. While I think the interviewer could've/should've been more tactful and restrained, the flaws in their questions is not a symptom of the woke mind virus trying to wriggle its way into the pure Japanese psyche. It's the sign of an over-eager fan who sees a piece of fiction differently than its creator.
#personal#delete later#this isn't even worth talking about in depth#but it's crazy that we're rehashing the “artist intent vs fan interpretation” crap again.#read stuart hall's encoding/decoding.#is it so terrible that laius reads to nd people as autistic even though the writer wasn't thinking about it#is that really something to criticize#also you may think the last sentence is me exaggerating but that's literally what the twt discourse is about#anyways i feel bad for the interviewer who's getting harassed over this#i'm seeing every side of discourse be super uncharitable toward them because it's funnier to make them sound outta touch and confrontationa#like. i'm seeing posts from cool people making the interviewer look like they asked “why did you make laius autistic??”#when the actual text of the interview goes “a lot of nd people interpreted laius as autistic. did you have that in mind when writing him?”#and obviously i think a lot of fandom people upset about this are weird too. joking that kui. a real person. is probably autistic is weird#but who am i more willing to criticize. the overeager parasocial fans taking things a too far and making things kinda weird#or the “kill the woke mind virus” weeabo/otaku terfs who still use the r-slur against queer/nd teen anime fans
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realising im the autism outlier by finding every conversation interesting if i can learn more from it
oh you're an expert on car mechanisms? i know nothing about that, tell me more
oh your favourite tv show just aired it's finale? share with me all of it
im always seeking knowledge and need to know the answers to every question
#.faeposting#found out im the outlier because my boyfriend was like#yeah i dont really care about information unless im interested in it like#what do you mean all information isnt interesting#what do you mean you dont collect knowledge like a human library#knowledge hoarding#learning special interest#autism#autistic#actuallyautistic#actually autism
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