#no one really tries to stay friends

[sunuism]

whenever i see people in their 30s or older who have a really close group of friends or just a big network and seem like they’re genuinely in such a happy place i think that’s what i want to aspire to but i just think it’s not how i’m gonna end up

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[humans-are-tasty]

[al-luviec]

juvie buddies

[lady-harrowhark]

lol not me crying because someone from my program texted me to ask how i was doing and that they hadn't seen me around in a while

[tricoufamily]

a current day nils and a 90s college student nils who's way too intense about his internship walk into a bar

[samarecharm]

Its so funny that Makoto gets such an awful rep (usually bc of her treatment of Futaba), but going through the game again, Makoto is the one who leads the conversation into getting her to open up for the palace door. She immediately offers up the idea of just being honest with Futaba; no lies or soft words, just straight facts in a calm voice. She knew Futaba wanted the change of heart, badly enough that shed listen without having to be convinced by force. And when Futaba panics about having to open up, Makoto makes sure she has no chance of backing out (‘give me time to open the door’ ‘ten seconds’ ‘WHAT???!’). Its for her own good!!

I think it can come across as mean and overbearing and even insensitive, especially if you are someone who is sees themself IN Futaba, but Makoto is both incredibly caring, sisterly, and understanding during the entirety of her arc. Like most characters, fandom seems to completely warp and exaggerate very specific moments and traits and sum up entire personalities bc of it. Ryuji and him being stupid; Ann and her being loud and mean; Yusuke being dumb as shit and singleminded for NO discernible reason, etc etc. People took the snooping and her one vaguely insensitive comment (about futaba and her whole Thing) and decided that she was a cunt and a bitch that couldnt be reasoned with.

Its so bizarre. Im aware that every piece of media w vaguely assertive girls has this issue (Sakura, Katara, Aqua, etc etc) but its still crazy that this is prevalent. Shes like the direct mirror of Goro and he does not get this specific kind of hate (usually its ‘he backstabbed and blackmailed us so i hate him’). Sorry. I need to be a Makoto Apologist to protect her from the rest of the world. My girl did nothing wrong shes just weird. She thought she could fight a mafia boss and she was RIGHT! She WON!!!!

[enbeemagical]

.

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

[inkbagel]

This collab I joined like eight months ago that I didn’t really enjoy being in finally got posted today but for some reason only on twitter and I don’t go there so I can’t even see the whole thing :/

[jichanxo]

how it started:

how it's going:

[shigussy]

i keep getting tiktoks of these younger gen z kids referencing a time they did something relating to fandom in public and now they're embarrassed by it and everytime i see one i sit there thinking over all of middle and high school and having genuinely 0 moments that i feel embarrassed by, like i definitely did a lot of shit these kids would be embarrassed by but i think these are all just really fucking funny

also photographic evidence of the kinda kid i was. these are from 2014/15 when i was in 8th grade

-desolation row one shot(still on wattpad gerard way/reader smut)

-twerk it on (mcr crack fanfic no longer on wattpad but i have another fic in my library called twerking in taco bell which definitely ALSO used for my reading log)

-frank iero must die(a serial killer/assassin frerard fic, still on wattpad)

-hair (really vague maybe a phanfic? nowhere in my wattpad library rip)

my binder i used in 7th grade i had a blue one that looked pretty similar to this for 8th grade but idk where it went, also the parts i scribbled out are my full legal name i had written on it. i wrote it normally and then the big spot is where i wrote my name REALLY BIG in elysian code from the vladimir tod books. also the lines are from when i used an exacto knife to cut up some papers and forgot that my binder was underneath

in conclusion yall can now see why im so shameless about talking about shigaraki the way i do

[rinofwater]

Hah, so uh how to explain to my parents that I have reconsidered wanting to move back to the wannabe fascist state after all

[pebblezone]

How many silly hobbies can Seras pick up? That answer is between me and god ❤️

[toomanyfandomsorkinafs]

My first friend in this fandom<3333 and one of the reasons I even got into the life series/Grian 🫶

@aggressivenesswhilecrying

[wewontbesleeping]

officially on vacation (don't leave until wednesday, but no more work!) and i'm happy happy happy BUT it's also like. there is some stuff happening at work that i'm soooo nosy about and i don't want to have to wait until i come back to hear about it lmfao.