#no me mates

[mutualcombat]

*bites ur scruff*

[full on twitter]

[vavoom-sorted-art]

Angel/Demon Mating Dance (all the turtleneck madness drove me to... whatever this is. Enjoy.)

(yes, it is inspired by this:)

[prettyflyshyguy]

FELT IS THE WARMEST PLACE TO HIDE

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Damian, wielding a Katana: Thomas! I demand you come back this instant.

Duke already running, Alfred (the cat) in hand: Nah man she likes me better.

[Damian, furious battle cry.]

[Duke, scampering to the ‘upstairs’ garage.]

Damian, foolishly stepping into the garage looking around: One last chance Thomas.

Duke, appearing behind him: Nah.

[Duke closes the door and locks Damian in the garage]

Damian, enraged shrieking: THOMAS LET ME OUT THIS INSTANT. I WILL NOT LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THIS. EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE FROM NOW ON WILL BE YOUR LAST.

Duke, already walking away: And don’t scratch the Bentley! Bruce really likes that one.

[blanc-ci]

Rewatching the 2009 movie and couldn’t get this idea out of my head

Rip Gaila I HAVE JUST BEEN INFORMED SHE SURVIVES IN YHE AOS COMICS!! YIPPIE

[jasperyang]

"Como ordene, Capitán" muy pocas son las veces en las que Jasper pone resistencia a ideas absurdas, más, debe frenarse sólo un poco para deshacerse de su móvil y su camisa—no quería arrepentimientos por no echarle cabeza fría a sus acciones del momento. "La paciencia y tú no son muy amigas que digamos, ¿o no? La noche es joven." Aún con la réplica, el más alto parece no tener problemas con dejarse llevar por el ritmo contrario. Pronto, es él quien se encuentra avanzando y cuando menos se lo espera, puede sentie el agua un poco más arriba de las rodillas.

"Cuando sientas que un cangrejo te picó el pie, lo sabrás." ¿Qué harán, intentar encontrar alguna silueta en medio de las oscuras aguas? Él con suerte y puede ver de día con sus lentes. "Anda, que la noche es una. No hay que pensarlo mucho."

"Preocupaciones para otro momento," arroja las sandalias un poco más allá, donde el oleaje no le alcanzaría, y porque todo indica que ya han aceptado su invitación es que se deshace de su camisa. Pasando junto al muchacho decide tomarle de una muñeca para jalonear, obligándole a apretar el paso, sólo de ese modo no pensaría las cosas dos veces. "Vamos, que la noche es sólo una," bromea, con el agua subiendo por sus tobillos. Aunque va en contra de la marea la ausencia de fuerza hace sencillo el ingreso. "A estas horas, ¿saldrán animales?"

[chanrizard]

241214 | © foxin_03skz

[toramirr]

Vodka and Red Bull

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Just your average male living space.

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[psychicbby]

imagine being one of dan’s flatmates in his first yr of uni lmfaoo??? like ok here comes this guy and like the first day he shuts himself in his room to play video games. ok cool whatever maybe he’s nervous. most of the time you never see him bc apparently he has an older friend nearby that he’s always with. when he is in the hall he’s burning pasta bc he’s cooking inept and staring down the washer bc he doesn’t understand how to do his own laundry. oh and he makes videos for youtube where he talks to himself (again this is like 2010). so after barely seeing this man the entire term you find out he’s dropped out of uni. ok whatever you never really think about him again until you’re on youtube and you see his face on the homepage. his video has like millions of views and thousands of likes. oh, there’s the friend he was spending all that time with. somehow he’s become some sort of an internet celebrity??? lmfaooooo. what a serve on dan’s part.

[crowlixcx]

I’ll just go to head office and explain it all.

[killershrike]

Okay, but imagine a human giving their yautja lover a lemon for the first time. the yautja just chews the entire lemon whole, and you instantly burst out with laughter, causing your love to narrow their eyes in suspicion. But before they can question you, their entire face scrunches into disgust and mild horror. They can't spit it out because to waste a gift from you would be to dishonour their mate. So they're forced to chew through the intense foreign feeling, unable to stop their manibiles from clacking visciously in displeasure. You can't stop giggling, eyes watering as you have to cover your mouth to keep from bellowing laughter. Your yautja certainly doesn't find it as funny.

When they finish the nasty fruit they growl at you. "Ooman knew what would happen. Tricky ooman." And they reach out to pull you into their chest. "Will show you what happens when little ooman plays tricks." Their growl in your ear is seductive and makes you shudder instinctively.

You're already wondering how they would react to a lime next.

[sgt-tombstone]

the comedic potential of Simon Riley’s middle name being John is unparalleled

He doesn’t tell anyone at first, but it’s definitely why he calls Soap “Johnny” and Price by his last name or rank only, because it’s weird that two of his teammates have the same name as his middle name

When Gaz finds out, he’s livid. The 141 is 75% John; he can’t fucking get away from them. Price points out that his name is actually Jonathan, thinking he’s being helpful (he’s not) and Johnny thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world

Simon seriously considers a legal name change just to keep the peace; he’s always loved the way John Riley sounds, but the ring in his dresser will make sure he hears that particular combination for the rest of his life

[hornyverymuch]

"we don't need to watch Amok Time, we have pon farr at home"

pon farr at home:

[lolliepops-rox]

This is my petition for people who create pins/stickers/other things with "she/they" & "he/they" to also include "she/he". I'm kind of sick of being excluded, and I'm sure there are plenty of others who feel the same.