#no matter what she looks like though
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Unstoppable force meets an immovable object
#help I can't decideeeee#i've been playing with the top datamined one for most of my playthrough#so I am attached to it#but the bottom concept version of her is soooo cute#and oddly I feel like it fits her voice better#I'm stuckkk#no matter what she looks like though#I'll always love karlach <3333#bg3#karlach
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they really put alicent in bridgerton blue on the reunion and genuinely expected me to think that she didn’t in fact march all the way to dragonstone to get wifed up? bfr
#I am only a girl living in a society#I make connections#she looks so pretty in blue though I want more#also you’re telling me that rhaenyra saw her walk in all cute looking to not completely crumble at the sight of her?#like my girl got all dolled up for you do something#rhaenyra IS a puppy dog when it comes to those bambi eyes shut up#Alicent was like you think you want her? I’m the love of your life you moron#and rhaenyra is like I KNOW#like she’s been trying to get the other woman to realize that very thing for the last 15+ years#and alicent’s all heartbroken like oh so you’re taking her to wife#and rhaenyra is like nO? WHAT?? all dumb and speechless cause jealous alicent was definitely not on her bingo card this year#whilst also having her own mental breakdown#because how on earth is she meant to explain this to her councel#or jace for that matter#that sure was goint to be a fun future conversation to have with her heir#but also Alicent just strutted into the room and started acting like a scorned wife?#which left rhaenyra feeling like the asshole parent who stopped paying for child support after the divorce#but also she never wanted a divorce in the first place?? and alicent doesn’t seem to get this?#like she’s already figuring out how to most efficiently empty daemon’s chambers for the woman to move in permanently#but alicent’s still yapping off about not having a place in court anymore and fleeing across the sea#and rhaenyra can’t help the bitter taste in her mouth as she states how that ship came in a little too late for them and it is messyyyy#hotd leaks#house of the dragon leaks#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon#house of the dragon spoilers#rhaenicent#alicent hightower#rhaenyra targaryen#bridgerton
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im a child of divorce
#the bit is over when i say its over and even when its so joever for these two its not over for me!!! (once again i am on heavy copium)#anyway. thoughts behind the spoiler tags#gempearl#shiny duo#wild life smp#life series spoilers#wild life spoilers#i feel like. i actually was expecting that#no but its so funny the one time the negative consequences of something does actually get acknowledged its the SL finale ‘betrayal’/j#like cmon fuck me i guess/j (BIG EMPHASIS. ON THE SLASH J. OKAY.)#but honestly though i did expect Gem to hold a grudge over the 2v1 in SL. and. its good that there are consequences???#it IS a ‘betrayal’ in Gem’s eyes. they were friends. they were murder besties for the last two sessions and then Pearl chose Scar over her#and its awesome man. [through gritted teeth] this is awesome man this will be good for character development ok ok ok. ok?#its also got something to do with Pearl having the red creep in. i think#because during SL Gem was like. nearly idolising the Scarlet Pearl persona while vaguely aware that her own reputation has a similar effect#and yknow. the horrors. the fact that their image is so heavily built on what others deem them to be and they can only play into it#but by the end of SL Gem gets ‘betrayed’ by this persona that she looked up to#and also her own ‘GeminiSlay’ intimidating image is also starting to fall apart. partly of her own will#and now shes watching Pearl slowly turn red again. and this time she knows its not good for her or Pearl#so shes distancing herself from it. shes ‘trying to fix her reputation’. she sees Pearl falling into it again and just. no. i dont love you#you betrayed me last season#but on Pearl’s end of things she’s already deep into the idea that as long as you say you ‘forgive’ someone then everything thats happened#in the past doesn’t matter and they can all be friends. and nooo absolutely no grudges will be held. no emotional repression here#so. because thats happened to her in her own team she thinks the same can happen with her and Gem#and thats so. im going to blow myself up now
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How she looks at her when she isn't looking:
How she looks at her:
How she looks at her when she isn't looking:
How she looks at her:
Building Trust:
Coming Home:
#how am i not supposed to be obsessed with them when they're out there looking at each other like that#when day one Wednesday is looking like a lovesick puppy and just following Enid around#when Enid ran into the woods in her human body because all that mattered was Wednesday#when Wednesday said she missed Enid through Thing and Enid spoke her language and set it back#when Enid packed Wednesday's clothes for her because that is their level of intimacy now#when Enid didn't force a goodbye hug even though she thought that would be the last time she saw Wednesday#when Wednesday realized being alone wasn't fun anymore because being with Enid was better#when Wednesday always did what Enid asked without ever questioning why#when Enid said she wouldn't apologize for being herself and Wednesday respected that#when Enid Sinclair sprinted to Wednesday Addams and tackled her in a hug.#and Wednesday Addams pulled Enid Sinclair back into her arms and closed her eyes in relief.#when they are each other's home.#wenclair#Wednesday Addams#Enid Sinclair
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When they look at each other this way. That’s it. That’s the post
#the real ghostbusters#rgb#ghostbusters#egon spengler#ray stantz#peter venkman#winston zeddemore#janine melnitz#they love each other so much#literally looking like the others hung up the sun and stars#polybusters idk#my every rgb post is a polybusters post#that’s just what they are#but you may alway interpret it as platonic#the only thing that matters is their unconditional love and care for each other#janine is only in love with egon always gotta specify that#she is still a very important part of the family though#anyway LOVE THEM!!!#ALMOST AS MUCH AS THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!!!
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'I wont cry for you, I wont crucify the things you do. I wont cry for you, see, when you're gone, I'll still be BLOODY MARY'
#cw blood#SUUUPER SCUFFED LIL WIP THATS BEEN RRRROTTING IN MY FOLDER. OUT!! GET OUT!!!#its almos 2 am and imm gettin high as hrothgar. spruced this up within an hour so i could be shared n eaten#its SUPPOsed to be part ofa bigger doodly page so ofc theres the chance this changes between now n then#fuuuuck shoulda made her dress sparkly. fuckit ill fix it laterrrrr. i havnt posted art in YWEARRS i needed to post something#also i uh. well you see i started losing followers on twitter bc im sooo inactive and i KNOW that shouldnt matter like it should be whateve#but. you see. i lkike when number go up and when it go down i get MMMADDD.we all get our dopamine from somewhere#ANYWAY so i actually havnt touched the suckening in so long. been workin on oc stuff.BUT WELL. ARTHUR AND MARY. STILL MAKE ME WEEP#THEYRE SO CUTE N TRAGIC...whadda fuck is it with grizzly n charlie characters being so in love and so doomed#kian and becky then arthur and his various exes like CMAHn.stop doing this to me#from what i remember of the episode.she seemed so.tired.disconnected.like she had been wandering a dream#and yet she seemed so positive.reasonably concerned and yet.content.she warmed up to arthur as soon as she recognized him#she speaks so gently and so sweetly and she keeps the conversation so light.even though shes dead and shes gone and she#is doomed to wander an odd limbo for the rest of time.and yet she seemed so at peace.i can see why arthur liked her.what happened?#what caused them to separate?arthur seems so jaded and so tired.marys company seems like such a gentle place to rest.#how did he squander such a blessing?was it a blessing?OHH what i would give to crack open their minds and peer inside.#yknow wat im runnign out of room i think so ill add a last thought here at the bottom of my tags. I AM MORE CORRECT ABT ARHTURS UGLY LOOK#I WANT THAT MAN TO BE BEASTLY AND GROSS AND STRANGE AND SCARY AND EEWWW I SEE THINGS SQUIRMING IN THE DARK.ther are bugs#LETTING HIM HAVE HOT HOT ABBS AND STUFF WAS A COP OUUTTTT LET HIS WHOLE FORM BE DISTORTED OR UR NOT A FUCKING 0 APPEARANCE BITCH#THE BONES SHIFTED BENEATH AS IF TRYING TO HATCH. MANY OTHER THINGS HATCHED ASWELL. THE DEAD IMMORTAL FLESH SOURED#TOO GRAND TO ROT BUT TOO CORRUPTED TO KEEP CLASSIC FORM. MMMONSTER MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER#oka y im not going to bed but im gonna go. uh. do miore drugs or something. maybe ill work on more jrwi stuff. or oc stuff.#i hope ur day goes swimmingly thankyou for reading my tags i love you so so so so so much
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Well aren’t you so popular (Patreon)
#Doodles#Handplates#UT#Fellplates#Temmie#Gaster#Alphys#These were the original ideas I had in mind with the prompt of Temmie or Alphys btw lol#I just didn't have the time/practice/space to mess up and get everything done in time! Now though ♪#Man! I can't believe it's been this long to draw Alphys! I really like her!!#I might've drawn her initially when I first got into Undertale but that's been A Couple years now lol ♪ If I did it's been a good long while#Definitely out of practice - and same for Temmie - I think I did draw her but it's been such a long time!!#I might've pulled just a little bit of inspiration from Nny for Temmie's clothes lol - I was thinking of Tem Shop's Tem with the stripes so~#It's called a motif it's fine lol#But yes! That first one of him holding Temmie with his knees and poking her toe beans was my initial thought of those two haha#She's not Really fighting him that much - if she really wanted to leave it's not like he's restricting her movement lol just some wiggles#Making faces#And then he just lets her bite him lol - isn't he such a patient and kind soul! He's so nice and placid and peaceful :)#Just enjoys everyone's company so much no matter what they do to him ♪#Alphysssss <3 I had no ideas for how to differentiate her look other than the blank glasses look haha#Spooky! But other than that she's just her with different body language lol#I do like the image of her being all scary and intimidating meanwhile she's got a cute skirt on under her lab coat lol - it's cute ♪#What did Gaster do to garner such negative attention? :0 Went around picking up her anime figures lol#And then for funsies some classic Handplates!Alphys yaaaay <3 <3 <3#Will I ever stop drawing his wings as actual feathery fluffy wings? But they're so cute!#Alphys clearly thinks so too lol - she would be all over a good twin/clone thing for Gaster haha#Gaster not so much lol#''Please Dr. Alphys have some dignity -.ó'' lol#And then since I'd been looking around the gallery and saw winged Alphys again I wanted to draw them together hehe <3#Stretches! Wing yoga! Flapping at each other to cool down or just be silly hehe ♪♫ It's all very cute
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Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.
G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.
An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........
#the unwanted guest#the unwanted guest spoilers#the locked tomb#ianthe tridentarius#augustine the first#pyrrha dve#palamedes sextus#this series is going to make me lose my mind completely one day (affectionate)#the locked tomb meta#the fact that ianthe seems to have had some genuine admiration for augustine makes my head spin. of course though.#of course she sees the person who looks the most like he's successfully made himself impervious to the world#utterly untouchable and impossible to hurt because he isn't even really there#and she believes it! even after seeing the john mercy augustine mess at the end! because it's such a seductive idea#when you've stuck yourself in an inevitable ocean of pain to think you could make yourself numb enough that it doesn't matter#it's the emotional equivalent of 'oh there's water all around? well I just won't breathe in then. easy lmao get on my level'#she holds on to that thing from him even when it's been proved to be both impossible and ultimately untrue even in him#because uh. oh I'm about to be kind of sad for ianthe what the fuck is going on. he might actually have been the closest thing#to parental and especially paternal affection she's ever known. certainly known enough to try to model herself after#IMAGINE how fucked up the nine houses must be when augustine the first registers for anyone as a model of psychological survival#ianthe do you really want to be yourself completely so much that you're willing to be nothing. I mean yeah probably but. oh my god#gaining nothing at the cost of everything
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Absolutely fascinated by Laudna’s “she has a debt to pay. She owes me her life like she took mine.”
This isn’t just a “I’m worth nothing so might as well smoke em if I got em” mindset with Delilah. It’s some of that, but it’s not the whole picture.
This is “might as well smoke em if I got em, and if this is the end of me god damn it I am taking this bitch with me.”
#I don’t even think this is a development#this desire for vengeance against Delilah#I feel like it’s always been there in some way shape or form#no matter how many times Laudna has insisted that Delilah isn’t that bad or is useful#and no matter how many times we’ve seen Matt play Delilah as ultimately bored and along for the ride#this pointed Your Days Are Numbered anger that she is now freely expressing is FASCINATING#and now that I think of it#Imogen’s ‘I’ll miss our little cottage though’#had a very quick turnaround in potentially changing Laudna’s mind about her own fate#minutes before this conversation#laudna was just saying ‘maybe this should be the end of me’#and now she’s entertaining the idea of being around to kill Delilah after she’s made use of her#I think what Imogen said was the most brutally efficient and effective wake-up call she could have possibly delivered#the look of absolute devastation on Laudna’s face#I’ve never seen Laudna/Marisha crumble so absolutely in a scene#Imogen/laura broke Laudna in the most loving way possible#she also broke Marisha#and me#and my insides#and my brain#critical role#imodna#critical role spoilers#cr spoilers
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All it takes is a wee little nightmare to make you too scared to step foot outside for fear of Bad Things happening, like it’s an omen lol
#also it is p o u r i n g outside and it takes me an hour and fifteen minutes to commute to campus#i'm a good little student but sometimes i just can't be assed#esp with all the crazy stuff that's been happening on public transit and on my campus for that matter#i'm just getting a bad vibe today [insert empath meme here]#warning for me complaining about a graphic nightmare!!!!:#had a few stress dreams(?) last night but one particularly violent one in which a woman got run over by a streetcar--#--and the paramedics were moving people along but i accidentally got a really good look at her and it fucked me up#she looked like she was just sleeping peacefully but i could only really make out the top half of her body#probably because the bottom half was... yeah.#i think i also had another dream that i was being hunted by a sniper?? and they had called my cell and were threatening me + my folks?#and another one where i had to hide some children from... i don't really know what. some dangerous person who wanted to kill all of us#but the kids wouldn't leave me even though i begged them to.#yeah just a normal collection of dreams for me. literally ugh.#i don't even think i'm stressed in my life rn??#not any more than normal lol
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A couple weeks later and I'm like "meh Bridgerton sucked, tis a silly show" but then I think of the ending they gave Cressida Cowper and I get so angry. Punishing her for trying to escape very clear marital rape. Labeling her as the bad and toxic one by Eloise (that's absolutely rich). I really don't care that she was the mean girl the first two seasons. She was facing rape and forced pregnancy, and the supposed "good guys" don't care. Eloise, her "friend" and a thinker of women's rights (because she's yet to prove herself an advocate or fighter), didn't even listen to her about, again, marital rape because her brother was going to marry a gossip columnist.
She could have married Lord Debling. He was someone she had wanted to marry before and he was a very kind and supportive person. Eloise could have seen Cressida's fear and panic as lashing out and been a mediator between her and Pen. Penelope could have recognized Cressida's own desperation and used her words to help arrange a marriage between them. It could have been an opportunity for them to recognize the poison their mothers put in them to pit the two against each other and that working together they could do better with the lot their society gives women. And useless Colin could have stayed the fuck out.
In terms of stakes, the show made me way more invested in the girl with an abusive home life who was going to be raped by her geriatric husband to carry multiple children and stripped of her self-expression. Oh boo hoo Penelope was going to be married to a rich (somehow even though he's a third son) man who adores her, but people might hate her now and not invite her to parties! I'm not saying it wouldn't suck but be for real about which one is actually worse.
The only part where there's some grace to give is that maybe they're setting up a storyline where Cressida will find love and happiness in Wales with her aunt somehow, but the end of the season felt like we were supposed to be like "ha! That's what you get!" Especially with Eloise saying their relationship had soured and Cressida had shown her true colors. I'm sorry, her true colors of not wanting to be raped??? And to add to the sting, literally everyone else gets a happily ever after or the promise of a better future on the horizon while Cressida is miserable and has nothing to give her hope of finding a way out.
The showrunner and writers for this season all need to be fired.
#anti bridgerton#do i *like* cressida? not really (though i like her more than half the bridgertons).#but am i alarmed and disturbed by how she was treated no matter what she did in the past? yes.#it's such a backwards look on supposed feminism#gives very 2000s “girl power” type stuff
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Trans femme(??) terukane..?????
Teru gives non binary vibes though like i can see it can you see it
#tell me if i get the pronouns wrong anywhere#i feel like no matter what gender teru is he/she? wld still have the entire sch in a chokehold#oh wow pansexual nene is a thought#tbhk#tbhk fanart#terukane#honestly aoi is so done with their shit in every universe#did i yassify them too much i tried to keep their hair textures but#everytime i try drawing teru with long hair it ends up looking like tiara grown up#im still so confused one akanes hair colour though like is it reddish brown?? is it brown??? pick one#im going to bed
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what about feral bucky for the prompt: “If you even THINK about touching him/her/them, I’ll kill you.”? there's no way he isn't crazy protective like that
HI FRIEND!!!!!! thank you SO MUCH for sending this prompt in because i in fact couldn't help myself with protective/feral bucky who is heavily prevalent throughout the entire piece. protective bucky gives me OXYGEN and it seems to do a little something to kennedy, too. i definitely took an angstier route with this, but i had fun crafting this and molding some of the deeper discussions, so PLEASE ENJOY!!!!!! kennedy x bucky enjoyers -- please enjoy this treat!!! :D
you worrying about me?
(a/n): hi friends!! we have a kennedy-focused prompt with hints of kennedy x bucky and our good navigator friend, bessie carlisle :) we get into some darker themes here but nothing is talked about in detail. mostly just for in terms of writing the actual prompt. AND -- we have the symbolism of upside down roses here and i found out they can mean 'rebellion' and no doubt, they are referenced here. so please enjoy!! :D
"'Morning."
Kennedy looked up, her eyes flashing to the pair that was sitting down across from her, sleepy and half-awake.
Bucky Egan had never seemed like much of a morning person to her but it was her second morning here (to which she was waking at 0500 at this point from fear and nightmares) and he was yet again sitting across from her as the sun rose outside, the pinks, blues and oranges beginning to careen across the cold horizon and black silhouetted trees.
"Hey." Kennedy whispered, curling the blanket further around her body on the bench, "Sleep well?" Bucky settled and leaned up against the table, ruffling a hand up in his hair that was in 10 different directions from sleep, and he let out a sigh.
"Okay." he said with a nod, looking to her gaze and clenching his jaw, "Yourself?"
"Okay." she told him with a shrug and he quirked his head sideways at her and lifted the corner of his lip, "What's that look for?"
"Okay?"
"I mean, half of you snore and being alone in the middle of Germany for a week isn't exactly the most comforting thing to put you to sleep. So." Kennedy said quietly, "Okay. Not the best." Bucky watched her in the stillness of the dark morning and slowly nodded.
"What happened out there?" he asked her, voice low.
"Where?" She was almost defensive in her question, building up her walls, locking the doors, hiding away. She always did this. Her brain couldn't do. Get her thoughts out. In front of him.
"Germany. Few days ago." Bucky asked her, voice low, nodding at her, "Something happened."
"Nothing happened." Kennedy shot back, suddenly feeling guilty at the defensive stance she'd taken.
This was Bucky.
Bucky Egan.
He was just looking out for her safety.
All the guys were.
As the only one of the Silver Bullets girls to have shown out of the four that had bailed-out, they took on the protective forefront stance almost immediately.
"Sorry."
Bucky waved her off, clearly not perturbed by her small moment of bitterness.
"Can't blame you," he said, leaning forward again against the table and looking over at her with a small smile, "had a German breathing down my neck, pulling me outta some river. Walked through a town, attacked by civilians. Thrown on the back of a truck like dead meat." Bucky stared at her. "It's fucking sick." Kennedy watched him and clenched her jaw, a sudden yearn to hold him overtaking her.
"You got attacked?" she managed out, the thought of Bucky, a Major in the USAAF, being led by Germans through a town and freely attacked because he was now a prisoner. And they just let it happen; and he no doubt fought back helplessly. The thought tore at her heart a bit.
"With knives and pitchforks." he said with a grimace of a grin, "Real medieval, huh?"
"Were you okay?" she asked him, eyeing that bruise underneath his eye, that scar along his brow, that look in his eye, her cheeks flushing, "I mean, obviously, you're sitting here but…"
"You worrying about me, Farley?" he asked her quietly, but not in a really sarcastic or teasing way.
No. He was looking at her desperately; achingly. No, he was genuinely asking her, staring at her in such a purposeful way that she was sure if she hadn't just woken up she'd be much more aware of the way he was looking at her and what he was saying.
"Uh, yeah." she answered, staring at him, "I was your waist gunner. I'm not a stiff exactly. I have some level of emotional awareness about myself." The corner of Bucky's lip grew upward as he watched her. "What?"
"It's just me, Farley." he said quietly, regarding her with a look that seemed far from what it meant to just look at someone normally, "What happened out there?"
Kennedy watched him that morning in the darkness of the dawn, swallowing uncomfortably as her palms slick with sweat, her forehead dotted with perspiration suddenly. She looked to Bucky.
"Just….stuff I don't really want to think about, to be quite honest." she said quietly with a nod, before stiffening up, "Did they interrogate you, too?" Bucky seemed to grow still at her words, his eyes glazing over in a way that made her brain stutter and her mouth part the slightest bit. Evidently, they had.
"Yeah." Bucky said - quick and short, "They did." She grew quiet.
"What'd they ask you?" Bucky asked her next, seeming to fill in the question in her mind that she wanted to ask him. She pulled the blanket up more around her shoulders and sighed a bit, looking down at the table where her half-empty canteen was sat. She needed to do something with her hands, she couldn't just sit here and let what was going on in her mind takeover. She grabbed the canteen and took a shaky sip and looked towards Bucky again. He was looking at her suddenly more worried than he had been previously, his brow furrowed and narrowed all at once, leaning more across the table, watching her like she had just mentioned something that had upset her.
"Shit I didn't feel like talking about." Kennedy said quietly this time, "About Captain Faulkner. Lieutenant Bradshaw. Silver Bullets." Kennedy clenched her jaw, and felt the grip on the canteen tighten, hand growing numb as she reached up to swipe her ginger hair behind each of her eyes with her free hand. Bucky watched her with that persistent look.
"I didn't say a goddamn word though." Kennedy said, her voice dripping cold, "You should've seen the way they were looking at me. Like I was a fucking pile of clothes on the ground. It was pathetic." Bucky clenched his jaw, unflinchingly watching her gaze still.
"I told them I was a Lieutenant, you know?" Kennedy said quietly, "They never addressed me as such, just my name." Kennedy shivered. She remembered the aching of her body as she was led inside that room, sat in that chair, with two Germans on either side of her, gripping her biceps until her skin was screaming. The interrogator staring her down, watching her like she was nothing, tilting his head and smiling stiffly. 'Tell me about your time with the USAAF.' As if they thought she was letting them kill her here, like this was the end of the road for her. Were they sorely mistaken. 'Might I inquire about a certain Captain B. Faulkner - KIA? And a current Lieutenant A. Bradshaw? MIA?' Kennedy shut her eyes.
"Kennedy Farley. Lieutenant. O-499716." Kennedy said quietly, "Over and over." Kennedy's eyes looked to his.
"They knew where I was born, where I lived. My parents' names." Kennedy said, her voice shallow, as she stared at him, willing that in some way he would just shut her up so she could stop thinking about this.
"Kenny-"
"Boston, Massachusetts. Born to Belinda and Andrew Farley. Only daughter-"
"Kennedy." Kennedy snapped her mouth shut, her eyes meeting his again. Someone was shifting in their bunk, there was more orange infiltrating the sky behind Bucky's head outside of the windowpane and there was a distance ringing somewhere past the building.
"You hear that?" Bucky asked her. Kennedy slowly nodded, feeling catapulted back to when she had first entered the camp - stumbling in, limping, her bum leg somewhere behind her, as she frantically, in silent prayer, willed for someone from the 100th to step in front of her and tell her it was going to be okay. She remembered that ringing - almost like the bell in the B-17 to bail - she remembered the ringing of the entrance alarm that went off when new POWs were brought in. It rung around in her head like a free bird, instead trapped in a cage, with every touch a reminder of the sound of that bell.
"New POWs?" Kennedy said, her voice distant, "At 0530 in the morning?" Bucky stared at her.
"I'm going." she said, standing to her feet, pulling the blanket off, being careful to step past some of the creaky floorboards that littered the place (and no doubt by now, between the two of them, others would no doubt be waking up), but she tried her best to stay quiet.
"I'm coming with you." Bucky said and she heard him stand up from the table and come up behind her, "No way you're going alone." Kennedy looked over her shoulder in the threshold of the room and watched Bucky in the illuminated darkness and caught his gaze.
There was something about this morning that felt different about the Bucky Egan that was standing here now - with the way he was looking at her, the way he was standing so close to her side that she was sure if she tripped he'd be there to reach out and hold her up. If she reached out, she could nearly brush her finger across the palm of his hand. Kennedy blinked.
"Thanks." she said, a little breathless, then managed a small smile, "My knight in shining armor." Bucky grinned almost immediately at that, like a dog who had just been tossed a bone. He chuckled.
"Highest honors from Lieutenant Farley herself." he said, and her heart skipped a beat.
Even if it was just the littlest things - hearing Lieutenant Farley from his lips showed her one thing.
Even in her ramblings, he'd been listening.
And Bucky Egan hardly seemed to be a listener - he talked.
A lot.
But knowing he listened to what she had said?
Kennedy's heart pounded inside her chest as they stepped into the hallway, that ringing alarm still going outside, Bucky shutting the door behind them. They walked side by side, Bucky's presence something she would always feel comforted by. He was so…..large. In more ways than one. In height, his broad shoulders - God, what she'd give to hug him and bury her face away in his being.
Kennedy realized she was in fact standing there, thinking about his bare, broad shoulders was something she would've apologized to God about back home. But in a shit hole like this, small mercies were all they had. And the idea of Bucky was one of those.
Stepping outside, the alarm bell was much louder and so was the cold. It was in her ears on the wind, all over her face and nose, making her shiver just at the contact and for a moment, she considered turning around and going inside.
But then, her heart stepped in. Annie, Margie or Bessie could be coming in at this very moment, terrified out of their minds. And Kennedy had felt that. And she didn't one a single one of them to have to feel what she felt.
Kennedy wanted to be right there to pull them out of the turmoil and the fear and the salty sea. She wanted to tell them that for now, they'd be okay.
Her and Bucky began trekking across the open area of dusty land towards the gates, side by side, their arms brushing each other with intermingled bits of warmth gathering between them as they did so, hands shoved deep in pockets, chins tucked down in A2 jackets, hair waving in the wind, noses red and eyes watery.
It was quite a miserable sight, along with Bucky's slightly bruised eye and the cut on her cheek. In a way, she felt better knowing she was going forward right now with Bucky right there beside her though.
"Hey….Kenny." Bucky said quietly from beside her, causing her to look upwards and catch his eyes in the early dawn, the colors reflecting in his dark brown orbs, the darkness of the night behind him, the morning in his hair and on his chapped lips, "They didn't try anything did they?" She could've guessed that the question was coming - it was war time and she was both a woman and the enemy. Kennedy watched him right back.
"No." she said quickly, "I would've broken their fucking finger if they tried, you know that."
"Good." Bucky said quietly, his voice tight and firm all at once - he seemed evidently pissed off as well. Not at her, but at the current unfolding changes of the time. Which she didn't entirely blame him for.
They both grew quiet as they neared the gates in the early morning, a few bits of sun rays peaking over the edge of the treetops now, reflecting off windowpanes, MP40s in German hands and barbed wire.
Everything was dull and dreary as they watched the new group of POWs enter inside. Aimlessly looking around, staggering on two things they called legs, uniforms scruffy, dirtied and covered in a mix of blood and mud, scars and bruises littering the exposed bits of skin, and their eyes soulless - long gone to what their current state of life was.
"You think they made it?" Bucky asked from beside her as Kennedy watched a few guys struggle by, holding up someone between them, groaning and grunting with exhaustion to keep him leveled and awake.
"They had to." Kennedy said quietly, "And I know that Annie Bradshaw. She wouldn't go down without a fight." She didn't have to look over at Bucky to know he was grinning. She heard him give a chuckle before her eyes caught on something in the midst of the group, her entire body stiffening, all her senses quickly growing alert. She couldn't control it - not even at 0530 in the morning, not even when she felt like death herself, not even with the level of exhaustion, fear and depletion she felt.
"Bessie!" Kennedy was yelling, shoving past Bucky suddenly at the sight of Silver Bullets' navigator, her heart soring in a way she hadn't felt in over a week - the sight of one of her own, of someone she'd been through everything with. Someone who had always been there.
"Bessie Carlisle!" Kennedy came tearing around the edge of the second set of gates, standing at the edge, cupping her hands around her mouth, "Bessie!"
There in the midst of the group, staggering and alone, was Lieutenant Bessie Carlisle - a horrendous split lip, a black and blue eye, scraps on her cheeks, her body wilting away, her form hunched, arms crossed in front of her chest in an attempt to hold herself up and her body barely moving properly as it was, it seemed.
Her pants were covered in dried blood, her boots caked in mud and her top was torn in various areas exposing bloody welts and skin underneath and no doubt her freezing body.
Kennedy didn't care if the Germans would lose it, if she was going against it all - roses upside down were for the thrill of it all. She pushed forward through the mobs of POWs entering the camp, moving around people, avoiding the zombie-like bodies that shuffled by.
And finally when she was in Bessie's line of sight, she stopped and watched as Bessie met her gaze, frozen there in the midst of the group.
"Kenny?" Bessie managed to whisper out, her voice hoarse - it sounded like she'd been crying and screaming, "Kenny is that you?" Kennedy's eyes welled with fresh tears, as she felt her face scrunch uncontrollably like a small child again.
Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.
Cry. Cry. Cry.
And Kennedy stepped forward, delicately pulling Bessie right into her arms. To be quite honest - they were both sobbing. Something about the fact that in all this world, the waist gunner and the navigator of Silver Bullets had found each other - because no doubt they had thought the others were dead. Long gone to the earth.
Holding Bessie there, who was always so strong, pleasant and happy to seeing her broken in Kennedy's arms made a swirl of anger, guilt and grief fill her insides and she couldn't do anything else but let the tears drip down her face as they held each other and cried.
"Move! Move! On!" a voice hollered from somewhere behind Bessie and suddenly, Kennedy felt herself falling backwards, the wind knocked out of her as she landed, back flat on the ground, Bessie curled on top of her and a German pilot officer standing over them, the muzzle of his MP40 hanging over them, his eyes dark, lifeless, his lips a thin frown, his cheeks entirely gaunt.
Kennedy watched in earnest as the German pilot officer nudged as Bessie's body - to which she flinched and it made Kennedy want to scream.
"Don't you fucking touch her!" Kennedy snapped, immediately regretting it when the German turned his eyes onto her, sneering down at her with a look that made her want to dig 6 feet under. Kennedy had to look away from him - this wasn't happening, this wasn't happening. Get Bessie up. Get her moving. MOVE.
"Okay, Bes, we're gonna slowly stand, okay?" Kennedy said, sitting herself up and helping Bessie get to her feet, keeping the German in her peripheral, "Just try to keep yourself steady."
"Move! On!" the German snapped at her, shoving the muzzle against her back as Kennedy wrapped an arm around Bessie's back. Kennedy glanced back over her shoulder at the German and watched his eyes - he'd pull the trigger whenever he pleased. No matter who it was - his eyes told her plenty.
"GO." the German said, knocking the muzzle roughly against her back again and this time, before she could even open her mouth, another voice beat her to it.
"If you even THINK about touching them, I'll kill you." Kennedy looked over to see Bucky standing there, his hand batting down the MP40, "We're fucking moving." And before the German could get a word out, before Kennedy could focus on what was going on, Bucky had gone and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, fingers brushing Bessie's frail, bony ones, and began leading them away through the crowd.
Anger. Fear. Pain. Grief. Horror.
The only words to describe the numbness that flooded Kennedy as she willingly dragged along Bessie beside the frantic Bucky who looked close to losing his mind any minute. He moved at a pace that she could barely hold, neither could the voiceless Bessie and as they got out of the crowd, Kennedy had to pull at the lose flap of his A2.
"Bucky, you gotta slow down." she said, causing him to stop and look at her, anger simmering at every bit of him, his fists clenched, his eyes staring her down like he was almost still looking at the German, "Bessie can't walk that fast. She can barely walk."
Bucky's eyes flicked to Bessie, who was still achingly quiet beside her and then back to Kennedy. He was inches from her face - she could see the sweat dripping down his lightly stubbled cheek. Up close, you could see the anger rolling off him; she could almost see past it all though, through his eyes and into his very being. Beyond anything, he was tired - tired of war, tired of this, all of this.
"I'll take her other side," Bucky said quietly, his eyes bouncing off her lips and to her eyes again this time before he stepped past her, "c'mere, Bes."
Kennedy watched as Bucky lowered himself a bit to wrap Bessie's arm around his shoulder and they began walking. It was a slow amble to the barracks, Bessie making pained noises like a wounded animal the whole time, enough to skyrocket Kennedy's worry to an all-time high.
And by the time they had shuffled her inside the bunk room, a few people were awake, the lantern lights on and were swarming them like flies. Buck was there, helping Bessie to a cot with a blanket, Benny tumbling out of bed to get some water going, Hambone sitting beside her, rubbing his hands up and down her sides, Brady on her other side, a hand on her back, moving up and down in a slow, comforting motion.
Kennedy stood there beside a wordless Bucky, watching Bessie get the help she needed. Slowly, she turned to look up at Bucky, suddenly wanting nothing more than to find comfort in a place as nice as his eyes. And to see him already watching her in that way he always did, made her suck in a breath that felt choked and tight.
She flinched when she felt his fingers make contact with her own, goosebumps spanning the width of her arm and across her upper body as warmth filled the pit in her stomach. His fingers danced across her exposed wrist, before sliding down into her own fingers, his palm pressing into hers, his large hand encapsulating her own. All while watching her - slow and deliberate and meaningful.
Kennedy released that shaky breath, staring back at Bucky who refused to look away. For all the horror, all he could do was stare at her. And hold her hand. And all she could do was stare right back.
But then Bucky quirked up the corner of his lips and a sense of calm washed over her gently. Like things were okay. Like this was okay.
"You looked like you needed a hand." Bucky whispered, briefly leaning towards her, "Literally." He squeezed her hand, brushing his thumb across her calloused skin. Kennedy watched him and let a small grin pop onto her face.
"You know me better than myself sometimes." she whispered back. Bucky continued watching her, smiling that smile, staring at her with those eyes. She swore she saw a hint of heat on his cheeks, but shook her head with a laugh. She was half-focused on his face and half-focused on the brushing of his thumb, slow and sensual on her skin of the top of her hand.
"Hey Kennedy? You got a minute?" Buck asked, popping his head back from the bunk, "She's got a nasty cut on her leg. Figured it's best if you help her there." Kennedy looked at Buck, immediately stepping forward and dropping Bucky's hand, that ball of warmth faded to ice as she nodded - Bessie needed her.
"Of course." Kennedy said, before glancing back at Bucky, who was watching her with that look again. Bucky nodded to her.
And so when she turned to crouch in front of Bessie, feeling his eyes on her was like the moon watching the sun.
#literally. STFU YOU TWOOOOOO#I CANT DEAL!!!!!!!#i wont lie that first part has been sitting in drafts for WEEKS#and the second part came to me this morning and i was like MUST. WRITE.#just the idea that bucky is always looking out for kennedy (and the rest of the girls) no matter what and willing to put himself and#his life at risk#like#INSANE SIR#the things you do for love like#i-#(insert sobbing emoji)#bucky being the number one kennedy farley fan is so real though#like that man will always defend her#but she will protect herself and the girls until her dying breath#AND I JUST LOVE THEM TOGETHER FOR ITTTTT#GAHHHHHH#THEM#ENJOY#THANK YOU#I AM GOING TO GO CRY NOW#kennedy x bucky#kennedy farley#bucky egan#bucky egan x oc#silver bullets#mota writings#mota#masters of the air
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longlegs is a movie about mother/daughterhood for real. throws up thinking about it actually
#LONGLEGS SPOILERS IN THE TAGS#Dont look if you dont want spoilers plsssss <3#didnt looooove it btw i have my mixed feelings and criticisms but! i did like it. and liked a lot about it...#feeling left with this dreadful feeling about being trapped in childhood and trauma and your mother trying to keep you there#and doing so much so you Can grow up but still not really letting you and keeping all of you in her house and keeping your memories of -#certain events to 'protect' you and just making it harder for you and then keeping up with these phone calls and of course doing all of -#what she did to keep her little girl alive so she could grow up and none of it mattered as long as her little girl got to grow up and be -#herself and not have to worry about all of those things shes doing or that happened... even though they still directly affect her and make#her life a living hell... shes tormented by it... and phone calls and interactions with her mother feel terrible... but she loves her#and she trusts her and she doesnt know what to do with her... or how to feel... and she wants answers andhgkshdfk GAHH its good#all of lees hair and teeth and nails and all of her things from childhood still in that house... in her room... all of her memories are in#that room... including clues to That One... god#longlegs spoilers#longlegs 2024 spoilers
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what do we think about pet store workers team xen
#for the pet thing i had a bit ago#neved doesnt work with them hes just a delivery driver for some of their supplies. he mostly helps out with his wifes orphanage#idk if clear kieran and eden are around too or not though im not thinking that hard about it#jenner used to work there too but he quit and works for something at home#hes like a stay at home dad now or something#cassandra is either part of corporate or shes just the evil mayor of gdc still and has no affiliation to them idk#she still has something going on with madelis no matter what though#eli and sharon work part time and ren is like the guy who gets them coffee or something. runs delivery too maybe#regina comes in sometimes too to flirt with nastasia when she can but thats like a side thing and completely unrelated#btw zepto is like a clay figure zetta made and is either alive or just a figure. you decide#sorry i was trying to think of something rejuv related to draw and ended up thinking a little too hard about the pet thing. my bad#pokemon rejuvenation#if you have no idea what im talking about with the pet thing its just rejuv but they have weird looking pets instead of pokemon#and i guess technically a modern au. whatever. melia still has the power of god and anime in her. dont worry about it#zetta isnt a clone though hes just a guy. idk where he comes from but hes jenners son and melias older brother#im not drawing madame x im sorry. but know she really does show up to her store wearing all that and never takes it off. + the uniform#oh and nastasia still just straight up has deoxys. dw about it
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I want to once again thank SNW and Jess Bush for making Christine Chapel a whole complex and interesting human being and upgrading her wildly from being kinda creepy toward Spock and otherwise sidelined to being this kickass Klingon War veteran ambitious nurse whose WAY too good for the VSA with a seriously self-defeating aversion to vulnerability/intimate relationships. Like, daaaamn girl! You want a side of complicated with that nuanced?! 😂
#I don’t know how you can look at SNW and claim that it’s being sexist#just because Spock is a heavy aspect of her character arc#even though the nature and complexity of their relationship in THIS show#retroactively makes their interactions in TOS less creepy and less sexist!#like they’re doing their best to honor the original series while making her her own person#I do not see what’s wrong with that#I’d even go so far as to say it’s kinda sexist to assume the complexity of her character has less value just because Spock is involved#it’s not like he swept her off her feet and she had no agency in the matter#she’s like as much of a whole person as a fictional character can be#sigggggh#star trek#star trek strange new worlds#Christine chapel#Jess bush#venting
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