#like that man will always defend her
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what about feral bucky for the prompt: “If you even THINK about touching him/her/them, I’ll kill you.”? there's no way he isn't crazy protective like that
HI FRIEND!!!!!! thank you SO MUCH for sending this prompt in because i in fact couldn't help myself with protective/feral bucky who is heavily prevalent throughout the entire piece. protective bucky gives me OXYGEN and it seems to do a little something to kennedy, too. i definitely took an angstier route with this, but i had fun crafting this and molding some of the deeper discussions, so PLEASE ENJOY!!!!!! kennedy x bucky enjoyers -- please enjoy this treat!!! :D
you worrying about me?
(a/n): hi friends!! we have a kennedy-focused prompt with hints of kennedy x bucky and our good navigator friend, bessie carlisle :) we get into some darker themes here but nothing is talked about in detail. mostly just for in terms of writing the actual prompt. AND -- we have the symbolism of upside down roses here and i found out they can mean 'rebellion' and no doubt, they are referenced here. so please enjoy!! :D
"'Morning."
Kennedy looked up, her eyes flashing to the pair that was sitting down across from her, sleepy and half-awake.
Bucky Egan had never seemed like much of a morning person to her but it was her second morning here (to which she was waking at 0500 at this point from fear and nightmares) and he was yet again sitting across from her as the sun rose outside, the pinks, blues and oranges beginning to careen across the cold horizon and black silhouetted trees.
"Hey." Kennedy whispered, curling the blanket further around her body on the bench, "Sleep well?" Bucky settled and leaned up against the table, ruffling a hand up in his hair that was in 10 different directions from sleep, and he let out a sigh.
"Okay." he said with a nod, looking to her gaze and clenching his jaw, "Yourself?"
"Okay." she told him with a shrug and he quirked his head sideways at her and lifted the corner of his lip, "What's that look for?"
"Okay?"
"I mean, half of you snore and being alone in the middle of Germany for a week isn't exactly the most comforting thing to put you to sleep. So." Kennedy said quietly, "Okay. Not the best." Bucky watched her in the stillness of the dark morning and slowly nodded.
"What happened out there?" he asked her, voice low.
"Where?" She was almost defensive in her question, building up her walls, locking the doors, hiding away. She always did this. Her brain couldn't do. Get her thoughts out. In front of him.
"Germany. Few days ago." Bucky asked her, voice low, nodding at her, "Something happened."
"Nothing happened." Kennedy shot back, suddenly feeling guilty at the defensive stance she'd taken.
This was Bucky.
Bucky Egan.
He was just looking out for her safety.
All the guys were.
As the only one of the Silver Bullets girls to have shown out of the four that had bailed-out, they took on the protective forefront stance almost immediately.
"Sorry."
Bucky waved her off, clearly not perturbed by her small moment of bitterness.
"Can't blame you," he said, leaning forward again against the table and looking over at her with a small smile, "had a German breathing down my neck, pulling me outta some river. Walked through a town, attacked by civilians. Thrown on the back of a truck like dead meat." Bucky stared at her. "It's fucking sick." Kennedy watched him and clenched her jaw, a sudden yearn to hold him overtaking her.
"You got attacked?" she managed out, the thought of Bucky, a Major in the USAAF, being led by Germans through a town and freely attacked because he was now a prisoner. And they just let it happen; and he no doubt fought back helplessly. The thought tore at her heart a bit.
"With knives and pitchforks." he said with a grimace of a grin, "Real medieval, huh?"
"Were you okay?" she asked him, eyeing that bruise underneath his eye, that scar along his brow, that look in his eye, her cheeks flushing, "I mean, obviously, you're sitting here but…"
"You worrying about me, Farley?" he asked her quietly, but not in a really sarcastic or teasing way.
No. He was looking at her desperately; achingly. No, he was genuinely asking her, staring at her in such a purposeful way that she was sure if she hadn't just woken up she'd be much more aware of the way he was looking at her and what he was saying.
"Uh, yeah." she answered, staring at him, "I was your waist gunner. I'm not a stiff exactly. I have some level of emotional awareness about myself." The corner of Bucky's lip grew upward as he watched her. "What?"
"It's just me, Farley." he said quietly, regarding her with a look that seemed far from what it meant to just look at someone normally, "What happened out there?"
Kennedy watched him that morning in the darkness of the dawn, swallowing uncomfortably as her palms slick with sweat, her forehead dotted with perspiration suddenly. She looked to Bucky.
"Just….stuff I don't really want to think about, to be quite honest." she said quietly with a nod, before stiffening up, "Did they interrogate you, too?" Bucky seemed to grow still at her words, his eyes glazing over in a way that made her brain stutter and her mouth part the slightest bit. Evidently, they had.
"Yeah." Bucky said - quick and short, "They did." She grew quiet.
"What'd they ask you?" Bucky asked her next, seeming to fill in the question in her mind that she wanted to ask him. She pulled the blanket up more around her shoulders and sighed a bit, looking down at the table where her half-empty canteen was sat. She needed to do something with her hands, she couldn't just sit here and let what was going on in her mind takeover. She grabbed the canteen and took a shaky sip and looked towards Bucky again. He was looking at her suddenly more worried than he had been previously, his brow furrowed and narrowed all at once, leaning more across the table, watching her like she had just mentioned something that had upset her.
"Shit I didn't feel like talking about." Kennedy said quietly this time, "About Captain Faulkner. Lieutenant Bradshaw. Silver Bullets." Kennedy clenched her jaw, and felt the grip on the canteen tighten, hand growing numb as she reached up to swipe her ginger hair behind each of her eyes with her free hand. Bucky watched her with that persistent look.
"I didn't say a goddamn word though." Kennedy said, her voice dripping cold, "You should've seen the way they were looking at me. Like I was a fucking pile of clothes on the ground. It was pathetic." Bucky clenched his jaw, unflinchingly watching her gaze still.
"I told them I was a Lieutenant, you know?" Kennedy said quietly, "They never addressed me as such, just my name." Kennedy shivered. She remembered the aching of her body as she was led inside that room, sat in that chair, with two Germans on either side of her, gripping her biceps until her skin was screaming. The interrogator staring her down, watching her like she was nothing, tilting his head and smiling stiffly. 'Tell me about your time with the USAAF.' As if they thought she was letting them kill her here, like this was the end of the road for her. Were they sorely mistaken. 'Might I inquire about a certain Captain B. Faulkner - KIA? And a current Lieutenant A. Bradshaw? MIA?' Kennedy shut her eyes.
"Kennedy Farley. Lieutenant. O-499716." Kennedy said quietly, "Over and over." Kennedy's eyes looked to his.
"They knew where I was born, where I lived. My parents' names." Kennedy said, her voice shallow, as she stared at him, willing that in some way he would just shut her up so she could stop thinking about this.
"Kenny-"
"Boston, Massachusetts. Born to Belinda and Andrew Farley. Only daughter-"
"Kennedy." Kennedy snapped her mouth shut, her eyes meeting his again. Someone was shifting in their bunk, there was more orange infiltrating the sky behind Bucky's head outside of the windowpane and there was a distance ringing somewhere past the building.
"You hear that?" Bucky asked her. Kennedy slowly nodded, feeling catapulted back to when she had first entered the camp - stumbling in, limping, her bum leg somewhere behind her, as she frantically, in silent prayer, willed for someone from the 100th to step in front of her and tell her it was going to be okay. She remembered that ringing - almost like the bell in the B-17 to bail - she remembered the ringing of the entrance alarm that went off when new POWs were brought in. It rung around in her head like a free bird, instead trapped in a cage, with every touch a reminder of the sound of that bell.
"New POWs?" Kennedy said, her voice distant, "At 0530 in the morning?" Bucky stared at her.
"I'm going." she said, standing to her feet, pulling the blanket off, being careful to step past some of the creaky floorboards that littered the place (and no doubt by now, between the two of them, others would no doubt be waking up), but she tried her best to stay quiet.
"I'm coming with you." Bucky said and she heard him stand up from the table and come up behind her, "No way you're going alone." Kennedy looked over her shoulder in the threshold of the room and watched Bucky in the illuminated darkness and caught his gaze.
There was something about this morning that felt different about the Bucky Egan that was standing here now - with the way he was looking at her, the way he was standing so close to her side that she was sure if she tripped he'd be there to reach out and hold her up. If she reached out, she could nearly brush her finger across the palm of his hand. Kennedy blinked.
"Thanks." she said, a little breathless, then managed a small smile, "My knight in shining armor." Bucky grinned almost immediately at that, like a dog who had just been tossed a bone. He chuckled.
"Highest honors from Lieutenant Farley herself." he said, and her heart skipped a beat.
Even if it was just the littlest things - hearing Lieutenant Farley from his lips showed her one thing.
Even in her ramblings, he'd been listening.
And Bucky Egan hardly seemed to be a listener - he talked.
A lot.
But knowing he listened to what she had said?
Kennedy's heart pounded inside her chest as they stepped into the hallway, that ringing alarm still going outside, Bucky shutting the door behind them. They walked side by side, Bucky's presence something she would always feel comforted by. He was so…..large. In more ways than one. In height, his broad shoulders - God, what she'd give to hug him and bury her face away in his being.
Kennedy realized she was in fact standing there, thinking about his bare, broad shoulders was something she would've apologized to God about back home. But in a shit hole like this, small mercies were all they had. And the idea of Bucky was one of those.
Stepping outside, the alarm bell was much louder and so was the cold. It was in her ears on the wind, all over her face and nose, making her shiver just at the contact and for a moment, she considered turning around and going inside.
But then, her heart stepped in. Annie, Margie or Bessie could be coming in at this very moment, terrified out of their minds. And Kennedy had felt that. And she didn't one a single one of them to have to feel what she felt.
Kennedy wanted to be right there to pull them out of the turmoil and the fear and the salty sea. She wanted to tell them that for now, they'd be okay.
Her and Bucky began trekking across the open area of dusty land towards the gates, side by side, their arms brushing each other with intermingled bits of warmth gathering between them as they did so, hands shoved deep in pockets, chins tucked down in A2 jackets, hair waving in the wind, noses red and eyes watery.
It was quite a miserable sight, along with Bucky's slightly bruised eye and the cut on her cheek. In a way, she felt better knowing she was going forward right now with Bucky right there beside her though.
"Hey….Kenny." Bucky said quietly from beside her, causing her to look upwards and catch his eyes in the early dawn, the colors reflecting in his dark brown orbs, the darkness of the night behind him, the morning in his hair and on his chapped lips, "They didn't try anything did they?" She could've guessed that the question was coming - it was war time and she was both a woman and the enemy. Kennedy watched him right back.
"No." she said quickly, "I would've broken their fucking finger if they tried, you know that."
"Good." Bucky said quietly, his voice tight and firm all at once - he seemed evidently pissed off as well. Not at her, but at the current unfolding changes of the time. Which she didn't entirely blame him for.
They both grew quiet as they neared the gates in the early morning, a few bits of sun rays peaking over the edge of the treetops now, reflecting off windowpanes, MP40s in German hands and barbed wire.
Everything was dull and dreary as they watched the new group of POWs enter inside. Aimlessly looking around, staggering on two things they called legs, uniforms scruffy, dirtied and covered in a mix of blood and mud, scars and bruises littering the exposed bits of skin, and their eyes soulless - long gone to what their current state of life was.
"You think they made it?" Bucky asked from beside her as Kennedy watched a few guys struggle by, holding up someone between them, groaning and grunting with exhaustion to keep him leveled and awake.
"They had to." Kennedy said quietly, "And I know that Annie Bradshaw. She wouldn't go down without a fight." She didn't have to look over at Bucky to know he was grinning. She heard him give a chuckle before her eyes caught on something in the midst of the group, her entire body stiffening, all her senses quickly growing alert. She couldn't control it - not even at 0530 in the morning, not even when she felt like death herself, not even with the level of exhaustion, fear and depletion she felt.
"Bessie!" Kennedy was yelling, shoving past Bucky suddenly at the sight of Silver Bullets' navigator, her heart soring in a way she hadn't felt in over a week - the sight of one of her own, of someone she'd been through everything with. Someone who had always been there.
"Bessie Carlisle!" Kennedy came tearing around the edge of the second set of gates, standing at the edge, cupping her hands around her mouth, "Bessie!"
There in the midst of the group, staggering and alone, was Lieutenant Bessie Carlisle - a horrendous split lip, a black and blue eye, scraps on her cheeks, her body wilting away, her form hunched, arms crossed in front of her chest in an attempt to hold herself up and her body barely moving properly as it was, it seemed.
Her pants were covered in dried blood, her boots caked in mud and her top was torn in various areas exposing bloody welts and skin underneath and no doubt her freezing body.
Kennedy didn't care if the Germans would lose it, if she was going against it all - roses upside down were for the thrill of it all. She pushed forward through the mobs of POWs entering the camp, moving around people, avoiding the zombie-like bodies that shuffled by.
And finally when she was in Bessie's line of sight, she stopped and watched as Bessie met her gaze, frozen there in the midst of the group.
"Kenny?" Bessie managed to whisper out, her voice hoarse - it sounded like she'd been crying and screaming, "Kenny is that you?" Kennedy's eyes welled with fresh tears, as she felt her face scrunch uncontrollably like a small child again.
Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.
Cry. Cry. Cry.
And Kennedy stepped forward, delicately pulling Bessie right into her arms. To be quite honest - they were both sobbing. Something about the fact that in all this world, the waist gunner and the navigator of Silver Bullets had found each other - because no doubt they had thought the others were dead. Long gone to the earth.
Holding Bessie there, who was always so strong, pleasant and happy to seeing her broken in Kennedy's arms made a swirl of anger, guilt and grief fill her insides and she couldn't do anything else but let the tears drip down her face as they held each other and cried.
"Move! Move! On!" a voice hollered from somewhere behind Bessie and suddenly, Kennedy felt herself falling backwards, the wind knocked out of her as she landed, back flat on the ground, Bessie curled on top of her and a German pilot officer standing over them, the muzzle of his MP40 hanging over them, his eyes dark, lifeless, his lips a thin frown, his cheeks entirely gaunt.
Kennedy watched in earnest as the German pilot officer nudged as Bessie's body - to which she flinched and it made Kennedy want to scream.
"Don't you fucking touch her!" Kennedy snapped, immediately regretting it when the German turned his eyes onto her, sneering down at her with a look that made her want to dig 6 feet under. Kennedy had to look away from him - this wasn't happening, this wasn't happening. Get Bessie up. Get her moving. MOVE.
"Okay, Bes, we're gonna slowly stand, okay?" Kennedy said, sitting herself up and helping Bessie get to her feet, keeping the German in her peripheral, "Just try to keep yourself steady."
"Move! On!" the German snapped at her, shoving the muzzle against her back as Kennedy wrapped an arm around Bessie's back. Kennedy glanced back over her shoulder at the German and watched his eyes - he'd pull the trigger whenever he pleased. No matter who it was - his eyes told her plenty.
"GO." the German said, knocking the muzzle roughly against her back again and this time, before she could even open her mouth, another voice beat her to it.
"If you even THINK about touching them, I'll kill you." Kennedy looked over to see Bucky standing there, his hand batting down the MP40, "We're fucking moving." And before the German could get a word out, before Kennedy could focus on what was going on, Bucky had gone and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, fingers brushing Bessie's frail, bony ones, and began leading them away through the crowd.
Anger. Fear. Pain. Grief. Horror.
The only words to describe the numbness that flooded Kennedy as she willingly dragged along Bessie beside the frantic Bucky who looked close to losing his mind any minute. He moved at a pace that she could barely hold, neither could the voiceless Bessie and as they got out of the crowd, Kennedy had to pull at the lose flap of his A2.
"Bucky, you gotta slow down." she said, causing him to stop and look at her, anger simmering at every bit of him, his fists clenched, his eyes staring her down like he was almost still looking at the German, "Bessie can't walk that fast. She can barely walk."
Bucky's eyes flicked to Bessie, who was still achingly quiet beside her and then back to Kennedy. He was inches from her face - she could see the sweat dripping down his lightly stubbled cheek. Up close, you could see the anger rolling off him; she could almost see past it all though, through his eyes and into his very being. Beyond anything, he was tired - tired of war, tired of this, all of this.
"I'll take her other side," Bucky said quietly, his eyes bouncing off her lips and to her eyes again this time before he stepped past her, "c'mere, Bes."
Kennedy watched as Bucky lowered himself a bit to wrap Bessie's arm around his shoulder and they began walking. It was a slow amble to the barracks, Bessie making pained noises like a wounded animal the whole time, enough to skyrocket Kennedy's worry to an all-time high.
And by the time they had shuffled her inside the bunk room, a few people were awake, the lantern lights on and were swarming them like flies. Buck was there, helping Bessie to a cot with a blanket, Benny tumbling out of bed to get some water going, Hambone sitting beside her, rubbing his hands up and down her sides, Brady on her other side, a hand on her back, moving up and down in a slow, comforting motion.
Kennedy stood there beside a wordless Bucky, watching Bessie get the help she needed. Slowly, she turned to look up at Bucky, suddenly wanting nothing more than to find comfort in a place as nice as his eyes. And to see him already watching her in that way he always did, made her suck in a breath that felt choked and tight.
She flinched when she felt his fingers make contact with her own, goosebumps spanning the width of her arm and across her upper body as warmth filled the pit in her stomach. His fingers danced across her exposed wrist, before sliding down into her own fingers, his palm pressing into hers, his large hand encapsulating her own. All while watching her - slow and deliberate and meaningful.
Kennedy released that shaky breath, staring back at Bucky who refused to look away. For all the horror, all he could do was stare at her. And hold her hand. And all she could do was stare right back.
But then Bucky quirked up the corner of his lips and a sense of calm washed over her gently. Like things were okay. Like this was okay.
"You looked like you needed a hand." Bucky whispered, briefly leaning towards her, "Literally." He squeezed her hand, brushing his thumb across her calloused skin. Kennedy watched him and let a small grin pop onto her face.
"You know me better than myself sometimes." she whispered back. Bucky continued watching her, smiling that smile, staring at her with those eyes. She swore she saw a hint of heat on his cheeks, but shook her head with a laugh. She was half-focused on his face and half-focused on the brushing of his thumb, slow and sensual on her skin of the top of her hand.
"Hey Kennedy? You got a minute?" Buck asked, popping his head back from the bunk, "She's got a nasty cut on her leg. Figured it's best if you help her there." Kennedy looked at Buck, immediately stepping forward and dropping Bucky's hand, that ball of warmth faded to ice as she nodded - Bessie needed her.
"Of course." Kennedy said, before glancing back at Bucky, who was watching her with that look again. Bucky nodded to her.
And so when she turned to crouch in front of Bessie, feeling his eyes on her was like the moon watching the sun.
#literally. STFU YOU TWOOOOOO#I CANT DEAL!!!!!!!#i wont lie that first part has been sitting in drafts for WEEKS#and the second part came to me this morning and i was like MUST. WRITE.#just the idea that bucky is always looking out for kennedy (and the rest of the girls) no matter what and willing to put himself and#his life at risk#like#INSANE SIR#the things you do for love like#i-#(insert sobbing emoji)#bucky being the number one kennedy farley fan is so real though#like that man will always defend her#but she will protect herself and the girls until her dying breath#AND I JUST LOVE THEM TOGETHER FOR ITTTTT#GAHHHHHH#THEM#ENJOY#THANK YOU#I AM GOING TO GO CRY NOW#kennedy x bucky#kennedy farley#bucky egan#bucky egan x oc#silver bullets#mota writings#mota#masters of the air
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*percy seen from a far, wearing a suit*
piper: do my eyes deceive me or is percy jackson wearing formal clothes? since when does he have the ability to look like a domesticated human being?
frank: how come HE, percy of all people, king of untidiness, can wear a cream linen suit and look like a celebrity, but when i tried one on i looked like a man-child going to a high school dance?
hazel: sweetie it’s just because it’s such a casual suit, and you’re much more elegant than percy is!
annabeth, turning to them: um okay, hi percy’s best friends? can you guys compliment him without insulting him?
leo: his ass looks incredible.
grover: has he been working out?
annabeth, side eyeing them:
annabeth: okay, you have all now either insulted him or hit on him. how about from now on, you do neither?
rachel: how about we do both? because i’ve actually just perfected doing them at the same time
#for the record i don’t think his friends disrespect him#i just needed to write something about annabeth defending him (which almost feels ooc after wrath 🙄#while also trying to keep it light#he’s the king of *casual*#and he pulls it off#i love the thought of his friends all giving him a hard time and annabeth being like PLEASE DON’T DISCOURAGE HIM FROM DRESSING NICE#because that girl loves to see her man in a suit#which is canon#by the way#anyone remember paris?#anyway#also i think leo always makes things weird#in the best way possible#percy jackson#annabeth chase#leo valdez#piper mclean#frank zhang#grover underwood#hazel levesque#rachel dare#percabeth#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus#incorrect quotes#pjo incorrect quotes#rick riordan#riordanverse
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BRADLEY FREEGARD as King Canute LAURA BERLIN as Queen Emma VIKINGS: VALHALLA | SEASON THREE
When I took England and became King, I promised that I would keep you safe and I would never leave you exposed as Æthelred did. And you have.
#vikings valhalla#vikings: valhalla#vikings valhalla spoilers#emma of normandy#king canute#canute x emma#laura berlin#bradley freegard#valhallacentral#vikings#vikingsedit#perioddramaedit#perioddramasource#cinematv#tvandfilm#imma miss em :(#wish the show just focused on their relationship and status as king and queen because they were always the best parts of the show#and to see how canute would always be so soft around her but even more fierce when he defends her! ahhh love it!#he really was the captain of the emma fanclub and i love it!#and you can tell emma loved him so muchhhh - like i don't even know how she's gonna move on. because she married a KING of a man
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Anthony doesn't get enough flack from this fandom if I'm being honest, like most of it is pushed onto other female characters while he gets the "he was struggling," excuse. And while he was struggling, there's definitely validity to that, he also should not have his actions (eg. playing with Kate's feelings, putting her and Edwina in a difficult situation, etc) excused because of that.
#anthony bridgerton#kate sharma#edwina sharma#and this is coming from someone who does ship kathony but it gets on my nerves how some in the fandom will ignore what he put kate through#like there's always that skip to the hea (after villainizng edwina & mary) but never taking into account how ant put kate's honor at risk#played with her feelings (nearly kissed her!) only to then propose to edwina (after brushing past her) right in front of her#told kate that he would imagine cheating on edwina with her (who says that? even if you're in love with someone that's still kind of fucked)#kept making her seem like she was wrong in front of her family#nearly ruined her sister's reputation#like i could go on!#and while i will defend anthony when the moment calls for it i also will call his ass out#he held power in that situation due to being a man and handled it so carelessly & put two women's reputations and lives on the line#even if he has a trauma and has a family that isn't the most helpful at times he still should have done better#fics that actually address his past treatment toward kate *chef's kiss* >>>#spectacular give me 14 of them right now#(is this a signaling of something im cooking up?....maybe so)#anti anthony bridgerton#?
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another thing i've been trying to do recently is read more self-published stuff. "but fell," you say, "you're a self-published author. surely you've been reading self-published stuff all along" and then i laugh for so long in response we both become uncomfortable.
see, the fear (which has for a long time been killing my mind) that i'll read other self-published stuff and find out that it's so much better than mine that i might as well stop writing forever kept me from doing that basically ever. i have a hard time not unfavorably comparing my work to others and had convinced myself i was being smart by withholding an avenue of de-motivation (reader: i was not being smart). it also doesn't help that i'm pretty low income and have a hard time spending money on books i haven't already read, and that self-published stuff isn't always available at the library---but really a lot of it was just me being a coward. which i'm working on. i could talk about how this particular cowardice is Very Silly, but i think enough has been said about it on writeblr and in the Writing Space in general that i don't feel the need to (though i will if anyone wants me to).
instead, i wanna talk about the self-published things i have read in the past few months and ask about the self-published things you love!
so: what happened was i got real sick, and while i was real sick i (naturally) read over 200,000 words of ace attorney fan fiction in the span of a few days. eventually i got bored of it (and also maybe annoyed at how people were characterizing some of my guys), but i still wanted to read something gay and romantic and nice, something i knew was gonna end happily, which isn't my typical fare.
now you may be saying (having gotten over all the uncomfortable laughter from earlier) "fell, you write gay romance. what do you mean that's not your typical fare?" listen. until a couple months ago i hadn't read a cut and dry romance novel since before i finished college. for context: i graduated in 2015. i know it doesn't make sense. i'm a guy who doesn't make sense.
but in this case it worked to my advantage. not the not making sense thing, but the not having read Published Romance in 1000 years thing. I didn't know where to start. I was very skeptical of everything the library had Available Now in the Gay Fantasy Romance category. what if it was all bad and also not good?
and then i scrolled past the familiar cover of our very own @ashen-crest's A Rival Most Vial.
now this was comfortable territory! this was a novel by a very nice writeblr person whose posts i enjoy! i already loosely knew the plot, i was familiar with the characters, i knew the names of things like rosemond street and the griffin's claw and that ambrose had blue hair and that at the end of it all there would definitely be Boyfriends. i didn't have to worry that this would be bad! i only had to worry that it would be really good!
but i wasn't worried about that, because i was officially Not Writing at the time, and because why the hell hadn't i read this book yet Ash literally emailed me some very kind words last year when my cat died??
Y'all, I devoured ARMV. If you haven't read it yet---especially if cozy fantasy is more your thing than it is mine---you should check it out Immediately. It was fun! It was heartwarming! It was sweet and earnest and confident! I was delighted to find it was occasionally hot! Ambrose and Eli snuggled up into my sick exhausted heart and found a permanent little place there. (Especially Ambrose. I have such a thing for Stiff Guys who Kind of Suck for Tragic Backstory Reasons and are So So Lonely They Don't Even Realize It. gawd)
(And a very small part of my brain spent the whole time wondering why I had been so afraid to really engage with the work my community is doing. The community that I'm in. The one I'm a part of. Why?! Maybe more on that later.)
But from there the curse was broken! I immediately devoured @stjohnstarling's What Manner of Man in a similar sort of frenzy (and hooooly shit guys am I excited for the expanded, finalized version to come out at the end of next month!) and started digging into @lurinatftbn's The Flower that Bloomed Nowhere (which I can already tell is going to be an All Time Favorite).
And now I want to ask you what your favorite self-published books are so that I can read them, too, but I think I will in another post that doesn't dedicate so much space to talking about my various and sundry Issues and isn't Terminally Long
#my god the library. darling. beloved. breath of my life and heart of my soul.#i should make a post about her#also. and maybe i'll make a separate post about this at some point too#but i truly think the free serialized webnovel rough draft ala What Manner of Man is The Future#i should probably make a whole separate post about all these novels too tbh.#boutta become Posting Guy. The Guy Who Posts#and writes novels in the tags. but i've always been like that#i never talked about the dream i had where i was emry karic from the lutesong series did i? i totally meant to. fucked up!#so i had a dream where i was emry karic.#I (emry karic) was fleeing a bunch of elves in a forest with my mom and sister (who were fully my irl mom and sister)#they thought i had done a murder and were chasing me (emry karic) with spears and stuff. they almost caught me#but i managed to escape. later i came upon a weird old-timey fantasy carnival.#and for some reason one of the fun attractions at this carnival was A Day in Court#where you watch someone defend themselves in court.#you'll never guess who had to defend himself in court and what the charges were!#notably there were no other characters from the lutesong series involved.#and i also have yet to read any of the books in the lutesong series. emry and his flower crown simply invaded my brain out of nowhere#i thought about turning this post into separate posts or rewriting it or smthn because it's so long and all over the place but#that sort of defeats the whole trying to just post and not be so up my own ass about it that i never actually post thing#so here you go#if you are also someone who struggles or once struggled with reading other people's stuff because of self esteem issues. hi!#we're now spidermen pointing at each other
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i know ive made myself the #1 izutsumi stan in the eyes of all of my friends and probably some of you online people but what if i became a mithrun stan. there is something about him that compels me. i just want to *clenches fist* put him on the drying rack. lovingly stick him into a tupperware for later. make him into. a broth of some sort. do you understand
#posts that probably look deranged to anime onlies. listen you will understand#i love you vegetable scrap man! wet cardboard man! pathetic crumpled up piece of laundry!#dunmeshi#ok uh manga spoilers in the following tags#the dichotomy of favorite characters...#feral teen girl who always follows all her desires vs damp middle aged elf man who is incapable of desiring anything....#and the BEST thing with mithrun is kabru has to babysit him. like out of anyone to babysit mithrun. kabru is objectively the funniest#but like. seriously the whole. you will gain new desires every day! thing. sobs#i know a lot of ppl relate to mithrun for that. i personally relate more to izutsumi if im being real here#but mithrun still makes me go OOUUUUGHHGHGH THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING TO STRIVE FOR TO KEEP LIVING FOOOOOORRRRRRR#also i like his design. his very specific hair. the fuckin. big shirt over the armor im obsessed with. the missing eye#the way he goes from 200% when he's got the lion in his sights to -500% literally any other time#kabru being like AH POWERFUL ELF MAGE GOTTA GET READY TO DEFEND MYSELF SOME MORE why are u just sitting there. hello#i haven't posted any mithrun art bc i haven't had time to sit down and finish a real piece#but ive been doodling him on any scrap of paper that finds its way into my hands literally any chance i get#the whole weekend i tabled at animzement i just sat there and doodled izutsumi and mithrun in my notebook#im gonna draw him for real tho. soon. im putting in my 2 weeks tomorrow and then i will have more art time
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good morning. neuvillette with a dragon!child!reader who, once everything blows over in fontaine, goes to find furina and gives her the biggest hug. they've known her for a very long time. and many times, perhaps she almost, almost cracked to them... but her resolve stood strong every time, and she would backtrack with a laugh and some dramatic flair.
while they can't understand how badly she must have suffered, because they aren't human and their mind is not so fragile, they can at least imagine it. and they can't help but think that maybe she doesn't want to be alone right now; she's been alone for five hundred years. if she wants to be left alone... that's fine, and they know she'll tell them that, but at the very least, as one of her best friends (perhaps her very best one), should they not go check on her?
idk i'm going to play her story quest today probably so i will return with more thoughts!
#aphelion speaks 🌸#this post is not about neuvi i am sorry for leading you all on like that 🙏🙏🙏 /lh#EVERYONE. GO APOLOGIZE TO FURINA. RIGJT FUCKING NOW. APOLOGIZE TO HER.#LIKE. HOLY SHIT.#i felt so bad for her that i almost CRIED and i am not even exaggerating#i know we are all so enamored by neuvillette and how he genuinely loves the people of fontaine#but can we PLEASE take a moment to talk about *furina* and her love for her people?#because holy shit. holy shit dude.#she must have been so so so lonely for so long#but she KEPT ON. RELENTLESSLY. FOR FIVE HUNDRED YEARS.#yknow#i know the whole point was to destroy the throne and the position of “archon”#but.... man. furina is fontaine's archon and she always was. as far as i'm concerned.#she persevered out of love for those like her and even went as far as to relentlessly +#+ do her own research into what was causing the disaster#she tried so hard. and fucking NO ONE apologized to her yet.#FURINA LIKER AND DEFENDER APHELION REAL 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣
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I’m actually refusing to engage in anymore Eloise v. Penelope discourse because besides being exhausting and oh so redundant. It’s also very very annoying and no arguments allow for actual nuance. This blog loves both pen and Eloise and understands both their sides.
#I’m so sick of people vilifying pen to defend Eloise and viscera#this fandom hates woman and one of them always has to be a horrible evil villain and it’s so exhausting#also if you think Eloise is upset about pen not telling Colin about lady whistledown and not also about being jealous and sad that her#best friend was in lvoe with her brother this whole time!!! you are wrong#it’s BOTH#bridgerton#eloise bridgerton#penelope featherington#why did auto do me like that???#its vice versa#man I wish I could edit tags
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do i support all of korra's actions??? no. do i like s2 korra??? no. will i still somehow have enough points to defend her if i get a whiff of a korra anti??? YEAH
#especially if they're a zuko stan#this isn't an anti zuko thing just an anti hypocrisy thing#you can't like one impulsive character (especially pre-redemption arc) and hate another#literally watch me pull out a whole powerpoint as to why we should all just back off s2 korra#i also always feel a little weird whenever a cishet man hates korra like it gives me the ick#and idk why#like i need hear the precise reasons before the ick dissipates#i will become korra's biggest defender when i need to and i will mean every word that i say in her defense#the legend of korra#tlok#legend of korra#korra#tlok korra#korra tlok
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The day when berserk fujoshis make a DETAILED post on why Griffith shouldn't be defended and shouldn't be idolized will be the day I believe they care about Casca.
It's incredible that the character that forced himself on the princess and dry humped Casca in the wagon gets the "Griffith did nothing wrong!!!!" treatment before Femto even existed.
But Guts who bites Casca's tit WHILE hulluicating, CLEARLY mentally ill , HOLDS HIMSELF ACCOUNTABLE + MADE NO EXCUSES FOR HIS ACTIONS + REFORMS HIMSELF is ridiculed the most in this place.
They talk about berserk like Casca went through the eclipse alone and Guts waited outside while she got raped. The eclipse BOTH gave Casca and Guts mental issues, Guts is a high functioning schizophrenic in the series yet (when it's convienat to fujoshis) he's described as a perfectly sound man. Yet he takes ALL responsibility and ensures he's not in a position to ever hurt Casca again.
Guts is a Anti Hero who did evil shit but ultimately regrets his choices and will protect those around him even to his OWN physical destruction, Griffith is a Villian, who is more concerned about his own affairs OVER the lives of the people around him and will DESTROY those who gets in his way. Femto wouldn't exist without Griffith.
Casca got it the worst in Berserk but PLEASE don't ACT like you care about her when you excuse all of Griffith's actions by putting it on Femto. Fujoshis SUDDENLY having something to say about SA is pathetic when it comes to Guts and Casca relationship when he REFUSED to hurt Casca anymore LITTERALLY JUMPING OFF HER BODY. All while IDOLIZING Griffith the GREATEST rapists in manga history. The irony is almost poetic.
#Siri play Save That Shit by Chief Keef#“Guts is just as bad as Griffith!!” They yell while referring to a hallucinating man who INSTANTLY owns up to his actions.#I would like to see a MINIMUM OF 20 “Why Griffith shouldn't be defended” post if you really care about SA and post it EVERYWHERE. Don't RUN#Anti berserk fujoshis who pretend to care about Casca being SAd only when it comes to Guts#“Griffith? He's the HERO of berserk he was just manipulated!” they say about a man who always had a power hungry and egotistical mindset.#Anti berserk fujoshis#Anti griffguts shippers who pretend to care about Casca x3#“She deserves so much better” just to ship her man with the guy who raped her. (I have to laugh a little)#Casca#Berserk#anti griffguts#anti griffith
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One of the most frustrating things for me in Tawny Man (and honestly beyond) is how Fitz acts like he was victimized by Burrich in him marrying Molly and raising Nettle as part of their family.
He refuses to acknowledge that it is primarily his own fault, because he refused to accept their marriage or let Molly exist in his life as anything other than his idealized mommy-wife, so he let them believe that he was dead until he had no choice. He also won’t pin any blame on Molly because he doesn’t want to risk the fantasy of his dream girl who will fix all of his problems and replace what he lost when he was abandoned to the Farseers as they live happily ever after in a pastoral nuclear family. That leaves Burrich as the villain who stole his family from him, because that allows him to deflect the consequences of his own choices onto a more convenient target (it also means he doesn’t have to really think about the way Burrichs attempts to instill shame and fear over his Wit were abusive because he can redirect the anger he feels over it toward a safer topic.) Burrich was the closest thing Fitz ever had to a father but he doesn’t even bother to mourn him when he dies because he’s too busy relentlessly pursuing his widow against her wishes in an attempt to relive his adolescence.
It is all very believable and true to Fitz’s character (he is often a victim, but he also leans on that as a crutch so he doesn’t have to take responsibility or own up to his decisions,) but oh my god it is so so annoying.
#realm of the elderlings#rote#fitzchivalry farseer#molly chandler#burrich#sorry to be so harsh on fitz#you all know I love him#but oh my god sometimes he’s the worst#his trauma doesn’t always manifest in likable or sympathetic ways#that’s why I liked it when burrich defended his family#and told fitz he was the better man for molly#and that he loved her and their children#a lesser writer would have had him roll over and say you deserve her like a prize#but burrich refused to do that#unfortunately the narrative still did
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Ok im Very sleepy rn it's 2 am bare with me
What do we think Jon would think of How The fandom sees him? And I don't mean this in a pedantic "oh fandom bad because dumbed down and Insert Petty Headcanon Disagreement"
I mean this entirely in a "How would Jon, The man who believes himself to be an Irredeemable monster who is to blame for everything that ever went wrong, react to Just so so many people listening to his shortcommings and ultimately seeing his side"
Like yeah everyone agrees he's kind of an asshole sometimes but he is so beloved by The fans?
I'm sure some people did but I've never seen anyone doubting his humanity or blaming him for the horrors™ he Just clearly understood as his fault? Like yeah Martin tried telling him it wasn't but what I'm getting at is
I love to think about what Jon would do If he saw just the ocean of people who listened to (what he considers to be)
the most unsympathetic person in the world becoming a monster and making choices that brought the literal apocalypse upon humanity
and pretty much everyone saying "he did the best anyone could reasonably expect and he is not a bad person for being caught in the crossfire of an impossible situation with no good solutions"
remember that time in mag 187 a lady grabbed jon in fear and he shouted and presumably pushed her away? and everyone and their mother defended jon's humanity because that was a textbook trauma response i think he would break down crying if he saw that
#this was brought to you by my sleep deprived brain#im just im like just#everyone is always mad at him for not taking enought initiative or sulking or making decisions for others#and i love him so much#he is probably the character that makes me the most un-normal he is Masterfully written#And he hates himself so much and so many people in podcast feed his insecurities back to him#It makes sense they're all hurt and he doesn't always make the best decisions.#there's nothing he can do to make it right enought by other people#and everyone thinks he is doing a bad job at being an unwilling participant of this fucked up power system#again it makes SENSE they didn't ask for that either and jon is the mascot of the eye#he is both a scapegoat and a sacrificial lamb#if jonah that crusty old man ever did anything truky smart it was making jon eldritch middle management#like yeah everyone hates him more but most of the time he is untouchable so jon tajes all the heat#wich helps isolating him more and making it easier to manipulate him#everyone praised or at least had some resigned respect for gertrude and her actions. but that's because she is almost imaginary to them#the characters obsviously don't enjoy being in the middle of this either and jon is the only one with some form of real power there#(that's more or less on their side at least)#ough#yeaouh#nnahoughh even#we we criticize jon from time to time#but i really love that most people are willing to fight tooth and nail to defend him#he is just such a human character and despiste everything that happens he is so very clearly just a person who is trying#the character ever#all I'm saying is i would like to know how jon would react to not one not two#but thousands of people who are able to see him and understand he shouldn't to be a perfect victim#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims
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i think everyone on sunnytwt needs to be sat down so i can explain to them what basic human empathy is. and then maybe i put them in a blender until they agree to write meta about the characters instead of whether or not charlie day got facial reconstruction surgery.
#ada speaks#u do not exist in a vacuum and your words have the capability to harm others#celebrities may not see your tweets but your balding transmasc mutual and your follower who feels self conscious about her nose will#it is fucking bizarre the way these people conduct themselves online#really. really fucking weird man#and then you see them acting like ppl are 'defending rich white men'#instead of taking issue with the actual shit theyre saying#whether or not you think rcg has been 'under the knife' or not#a) how is this any of your business. you are not entitled to this info nor do you have a free pass to criticize someone's personal choice#b) ask yourself why you feel you need to critique alleged surgeries and how they stack up to imposed conventional beauty standards#c) you do not *own* them. you can have opinions on your own attraction to them but#a person getting plastic surgery or hair plugs or whatever is up to them. not you. if it helps to make them feel better then who cares.#just because it doesn't make them attractive to YOU doesn't mean its okay to point and laugh#if a trans guy got top surgery and it was 'botched' would you act like they were stupid for getting it in the first place?#if a trans woman decided she wanted to surgically shave her jaw would you shame her for that?#it's their body. it's not yours.#for the record i don't believe any of them have gotten work done but think its a stupid thing to speculate on regardless#ive watched family members go through plastic surgeries of varying success. ive seen them get botox and hair plugs and everything#normal everyday people do it and it's not always about vanity#it can be for gender reaffirming reasons (and yes this includes when cis people do it) to alleviate dysphoria#trying to point out alleged surgical alterations made is just. gross#not to mention that holy shit MOST of the shit ppl are saying is like. age. different hairstyles. different facial expressions.#maybe if these people actually watched the show theyd be able to see the gang in action instead of staring at pics like spot the difference
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cavity search — dcu halloween special (2009)
(ID in alt!)
#hes so funny it's insufferable#the things about dick and it being an act of child cruelty (‘id hate for him get in trouble���) and the concussion line....#having a secret bike that they don't know about....#how he checked on the girl and told her to close her eyes before taking all the dentist' teeth out and then personally drove her to go#someplace safe instead of waiting for the cops to show up (also acab damian so true <3)#also calling the man stinky and getting grounded in general....#hes just a little guy!!!!!#im always going to be a damian defender and enabler idc idc die mad#c: dcu halloween special (2009)#crypt's panels#transcrypts#posts from the crypt#damian al ghul#robin v#dick grayson#whats his batman era tag again. do i have one....#dick grayson's prolonged mental breakdown is too long...#ill come up with a tag later bc dickbats sounds like a ship name and im not taking that chance
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i keep trying to post my thoughts about princess bubblegum imprisoning flame princess but it keeps devolving into a multi paragraph stream of consciousness mess fucking GOD
#carter poast#if ur curious the main points are like#phoebe is made of fucking fire and would have burnt so much shit if she hadn't been imprisoned#wtf was bonnie supposed to do. drop everything to care for her#no one else would have. ESPECIALLY not a fire kingdom citizen#imprisoning is bad yes. ecological destruction is also bad#bonnie is always thinking of the greater good whether or not you agree with her views#i HATEEEE how people boil it down to 'if you defend anything pb does ur defending actual literal fascism'#like if i were her i probably wouldn't have done something too dissimilar. what are you supposed to do with a volatile fire baby#← this is why i never write anything my mind is a mess#man i hope someone here is into adventure time or this post is just yelling into the void
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in the last episode of zard patton ka bunn today, meenu graduates medical school with the highest honors after having a hell of a time getting there and she’s brought back on stage to give a speech, but she runs and puts her medals around her father’s neck in front of her cohort. her father looks up at her with a proud grin and smile, dancing in his seat with excitement, and that scene punched me in the GUT.
i cried for a good 30 minutes over it because my dad is just as supportive of me and my dreams, to the lengths he goes for me and my sisters, including right now, where he’s driving 20+ hours to see all of us during a work trip since all three of us live in different states and he lives out of america.
there isn’t a wish i’ve had that he hasn’t supported or fulfilled when it was the right time and i just really…a girly is so emotional all the time over her dad 🥹
#zee rambles#i’m just so SAD and ALONE all the time#and every time i think of my dad it’s honestly such a trigger button for tears when i rarely cry in general#but that scene#watching meenu’s father relentlessly defend her and support her dreams and her love#letting her talk to him about being in love with nofel when most fathers shy away from talking to their daughters directly#UGHHH so many feelings all the time#because my dad is a quiet man and is always easily embarrassed by shows of physical affection but he’s coming to see me next sunday#and he always gives me the tightest hugs and everything which. idk#it may not seem big to y’all but for my dad that’s like amazing#personal#zee stop using tumblr as your personal diary challenge#i just have a lot of feelings#i cried writing this post lol
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