#sorry to be so harsh on fitz

[spectrum-color]

One of the most frustrating things for me in Tawny Man (and honestly beyond) is how Fitz acts like he was victimized by Burrich in him marrying Molly and raising Nettle as part of their family.

He refuses to acknowledge that it is primarily his own fault, because he refused to accept their marriage or let Molly exist in his life as anything other than his idealized mommy-wife, so he let them believe that he was dead until he had no choice. He also won’t pin any blame on Molly because he doesn’t want to risk the fantasy of his dream girl who will fix all of his problems and replace what he lost when he was abandoned to the Farseers as they live happily ever after in a pastoral nuclear family. That leaves Burrich as the villain who stole his family from him, because that allows him to deflect the consequences of his own choices onto a more convenient target (it also means he doesn’t have to really think about the way Burrichs attempts to instill shame and fear over his Wit were abusive because he can redirect the anger he feels over it toward a safer topic.) Burrich was the closest thing Fitz ever had to a father but he doesn’t even bother to mourn him when he dies because he’s too busy relentlessly pursuing his widow against her wishes in an attempt to relive his adolescence.

It is all very believable and true to Fitz’s character (he is often a victim, but he also leans on that as a crutch so he doesn’t have to take responsibility or own up to his decisions,) but oh my god it is so so annoying.

[nikki-is-a-nerd]

Lemon drops (deke shaw x water bending!reader)

Summary:

From Strangers to Friends to Lovers. Deke won’t do what he did to Daisy ever again but that doesn’t mean you won’t do it for him…with your own little twist.

A/N

Tiny break from Ezra by writing about my beloved future man/rockstar/tech genius/shield director/agent baby boy.

______________________________________________

Deke is a strange person to you. He's sarcastic, surprisingly smart, quick on his feet and funny. You also learned that he likes Daisy, not shocking but very interesting. You weren't one to speak much around the others, Fitz and Jemma would try to encourage you but you don't really talk unless you need to. You've observed his and everyone's movement since getting back to your actual timeline and Deke's past and you've decided that Deke doesn't deserve the harsh and rude treatment from the others, except Jemma, she's naturally kind and caring.

It was a regular day for you when you bumped into a seething deke who just exited the lab. Seeing as he was walking fast and you were clumsy by default you fell down.

"...Ow..." You said quietly.

Deke's eyes widened in shock and immediately offered his hand to help you get up.

"I'm so sorry." He said.

"All good. The worst it could do is a bruise." You said bluntly.

You looked at him carefully and continued speaking.

"You seem upset. Let's eat." You grabbed his arm and dragged him to the pantry and rummaged around for food.

"You know, I think this is the first time I've ever been alone with you." Deke said.

"That makes sense, I prefer to stay away and practice."

"Are you like daisy?" Deke asked.

"Sort of. Inhuman? Yes. Same power? No. She can cause earthquakes, I can control any liquid, but mainly water." You answered kindly.

"That's cool. Why do you avoid people?" Deke asked again.

"I avoid people because I get anxious. I may be an agent but I'm not good with socializing." You said bashfully.

You made a simple sandwich paired with sliced up apples and handed one to Deke and one for you. You sat quietly, when you let your curiosity surface.

"Why were you upset? Is it because of the rest of the guys? I apologize if they treat you badly." You said softly.

"It's alright, it's not even your fault, you shouldn't apologize. In fact you and Jemma have been the nicest to me!" He exclaimed. He took a deep breath and continued.

"I was upset since I gave daisy a bunch of lemons, she didn't get it, then I found out she's still very much in love with her dead ex, so I didn't say anything. The others found out and they made fun of me and I already felt excluded from the team." He said before hiding his head with his hands.

"what does the lemons mean?" You asked.

"Traditionally in my time, you leave a bunch of lemons on the bed of the person you like as a way to tell them that you have feelings for them." He answered.

"That's cute. You're giving something that's basically a luxury to you. That's romantic." You said truthfully.

You stored that knowledge into your head as you spent that entire day with deke. You can say that after that, you two became friends. You truly enjoyed his company, even taking him with you when you train your powers. Deke has been silently pining for Daisy and you let your new feelings for your new friend grows as well. It really isn’t hard to fall for Deke, for you anyway. Deke

Months go by and everyone has been busy dealing with hydra’s resurgence and the new assassin shield now has to deal with. You were training while Deke kept you company with small talk until he went silent for a bit.

"So hear me out." Deke spoke out after the silence.

"Shoot." You said as you sent various sharp icicles flying into various targets.

"You never spoke of your feelings. Like romantically. So do you like anyone?"

His question threw you off guard so much so that you caused your water whip to freeze and shatter. You looked back at deke slowly, eyes wide.

"We are not having this conversation." You said cheeks already red.

"you're blushing! Who is it?" He said excitedly.

“Deke, we literally have an assassin to deal with, you really want to know who i have romantic feelings for?” You asked him.

“Yeah, i mean if an assassin who is genetically modified is out to get all of you, i want to know.” Deke said as he started throwing a rubber ball on the wall.

“Well I don’t have any.” A huge lie on your part but he doesn’t need to know.

Before Deke could ask again, Mack entered the training room and called you, a mission was being given to you. Deke watched you leave and he looked at Mack about to follow you out.

“Its a one on one meeting Deke, she’s gonna be fine. Go find Fitz and Simmons, they might need you.” Mack said.

“Can’t I wait outside Coulson’s office and wait for (Y/N) to leave?” Deke asked as he walked towards the door.

“No, but she’s gonna be fine. She’s strong.” Mack said.

“She’s strong, yeah, no shit. I know that.” Deke said under his breath mockingly.

Deke didn’t see you for nearly a month when you went undercover in Hydra. The radio silence he got made him anxious that even Daisy was annoyed by his pacing.

“Deke for the love of God! Stop Pacing!” Daisy said exasperated as she opened his door.

“(Y/N) has been radio silent for nearly a month! What if she’s hurt! Or worse dead! I’m sorry if i care about her too much that im afraid for her life.” Deke exclaimed.

Daisy gasps and a smile blooms on her face as she just realized something.

“You love her!” She said excitedly.

“What? No! I mean-but no! I gave you the lemons!” Deke exclaimed.

“Yeah that was months ago. You and (Y/N) have been attached by the hip since then and now you two are apart, you’re worried as hell! You like her!” Daisy reasoned.

“So maybe i do. What do you people do to show affection? Cause lemons apparently don’t scream i love you apparently.” Deke asked.

“Just be normal and tell her.” Daisy answered.

“Right, good one. Really what do i do?” Deke asked again.

When daisy just gave him the look he realized it wasn’t a joke and he was mortified. Tell you, face to face? That sounds worse than dying to a kree.

“I’ll think about it.” He said when Daisy stared at him.

When Daisy was about to leave, Coulson opened the door and told them to follow him to the meeting room. Everyone else was already there, save for you.

“Its time we extract agent (Y/L/N) from where she sent off her signal. Based on her last message to us, the assassin, Ruby, has had her suspicions on her now and its no longer safe for her to keep extracting data and sending it to us. YoYo, Mack, May and Daisy, you’re all with me. Deke, Jemma and Fitz, prepare the med bay to check up on (Y/N) and see if they injected or implanted anything on her that would compromise her in anyway.” Coulson spoke.

“Wait, why can’t i go?” Deke asked.

“Simply put, its too personal for you. It might endanger both you and (Y/N).” May answered.

Deke nodded his head in resignation and left with Fitz and Simmons. He assisted them in anyway and tinkered with some other tech laying around the lab to get his mind off of you. He didn’t know how long it was since the team left and returned but when he heard the lab doors open, he immediately stood up and carried your unconscious form to the bed and let Jemma check on you.

“What happened?” Fitz asked first.

“They figured her out and sent that Ruby chick to kill her. (Y/N) was lucky that she figured it out and was prepared. When we arrived, ruby was distracted enough that (Y/N) was able to freeze her legs in place but she shot her twice and she already had various cuts during their fight. She fell unconscious after a while. May and Daisy were the ones to try stop the bleeding but she still passed out.” YoYo spoke.

Deke stayed in the far corner, just watching Jemma care for your unconscious form. Since that night you’ve remained unconscious. They allowed your unconscious self to be moved into your room for more comfort, Jemma and Fitz often came by to check on you. Daisy came around to change your clothes and scold Deke for not showering. The rest had to continue with the mission and decode all the encrypted data you were able to get. Deke watched over you for as long as he could, often falling asleep in your room.

This time around Deke felt something was different today, a little more hopeful. He was cleaning your room when he heard you grunt when you accidentally moved your hand a little bit more and finding them a bit stiff. Deke wordlessly helps you sit up and hands you a glass of water.

“How long was I out for?” You asked Deke.

“A week and a half. You had a bunch of injuries that needed to be tended too, you lost a significant amount of blood, you had poison in your bloodstream that we had to filter out. Safe to say your body needed to recover.” Deke said.

“Sorry if that made you worried.” You said sheepishly.

“Its fine. It shook me up. This life of yours. Its not like mine, you willingly go to dangerous places and do dangerous things and that scares me.

“I understand that. Honestly the only reason I willingly pug myself through this is because, I don’t know what else im good for.” You admitted.

“You can do that healing thing you do. Stay here, be support or back up. Stay safe…with me, here.” Deke said holding your hand.

“Hey Deke, can you hand me my bag.” You said.

“Uh…sure.” Deke said as he grabbed the small pack and handed it to you.

Deke watched you rummage through your belongings until you managed to find what you were looking for.

“Give me your hand.” You told Deke.

Deke wordlessly handed you his hand and he felt you press something into his palms. He gave you a curious look and you smiled at him urging him to look at what you gave him. When he opened his palms he gave a small laugh as he saw a small pack of lemon hard candies in his hand.

“They didn’t have actual lemons in their pantry but they did have candy at least. Its not the same but i hope the message is clear.” You said as your faced flushed red.

“I get it! Lemons. You technically gave me lemons!” Deke said happily as he kept the lemon candies in his pant pocket.

He stood up and held your face gently as he leaned down to your level and gave you a soft kiss. You immediately reciprocated the gesture and held onto him, lacing your fingers through his hair. You two were too busy to notice your heart monitor going insane that Jemma had to rush to your room only to see you and Deke kissing. Jemma smiled and left quietly as you and deke relished the feeling of a new journey together.

Deke also made you promise to tell Coulson that you’re staying mainly as additional healer and purely back up for his sanity to which you agreed to. Not because he said so but because fighting no longer felt right for you.

[myfairkatiecat]

Heyyy i just realized you’re the one I meant to send this ask to, sorry @ahoyimlosingmymind

have you heard the song “Youniverse” by Gabi Sklar? Do you think it’s good for broken up Sophitz?

Ahdkfjsnwdkshsnw I LOVE GABI SKLAR SO MUCH YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND

What an amazing artist.

Anyway

I’ve never thought about it but HOLY HECK YOU ARE SO RIGHT. That song is Fitz. I think it would be a little harsh on Sophie to say that the WHOLE thing is sung to her, but this is DEFINITELY his song

There was a time

I used to orbit your mind

Then a bang

We were half of a whole

Now we're whole lot of light-years away

^^thats about how their cognate relationship suffered when Sophie was keeping things from him and struggling with figuring out what she was feeling regarding Keefe

High

Expectations too high

That's on me

Cause the bare minimum

Was a minimum I couldn't reach

^^im not sure that’s to SOPHIE, but it’s definitely Fitz Vacker. “The bare minimum was a minimum I couldn’t reach” I’m gonna CRY it’s so him

In my youniverse

Space made everything worse

When I needed love

You needed time alone

^^i guess this could be to Sophie because Sophie wasn’t ready for a boyfriend and told Fitz so when they were just beginning to take off. But honestly? Id say it’s to his dad.

In my youniverse

If the roles were reversed

I'd give you the room to grow

Wouldn't let you go

Live in my shadow

^^uhhh ok so that might be to Sophie. Sorry Sophie I swear I love you and think you’re valid in your feelings! But… Fitz might feel that way.

You were my world

Felt so infinite

your world,

I was just in it

And I don't want gravity

Grabbing a hold anymore

^^this part is DEFINITELY to Sophie. Fitz definitely feels like the world sorta orbits around Sophie, and he’s just there…. He wonders if he’s even useful with such a powerful telepath around… he doesn’t want to experience a gravitational pull towards her anymore.

As far as I can see

If it's not meant for me

It's not meant to be

I starred in your galaxy

Far from reality

Up

^^okay this is Fitz moving on from her because he realizes he isn’t really the one she wants… and he decides he doesn’t want to just “star in her galaxy” anymore

Then the chorus repeats.

LOOK. A breakup song is always a little harder on the other party than they deserve, and Sophie was totally valid IMO. But that doesn’t erase the fact that Fitz DEFINITELY feels like this

Anyway anon THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP GABI SKLAR (I looooove her music!)

[ravs6709]

Don't Worry Yourself Sick - Fedex

Word count: ~0.8k words

@kamikothe1and0nly hi!!! you asked for fedex sickfic and i delivered (well kinda, its less sickfic and more feels but)!! takes place right during neverseen, right after the fitz gets stabbed by bug, but before they head off to exilium!

sorry if its on the shorter end, am attempting to get back into the flow of writing again

warnings: none

Hope you enjoy!

•~•~•~•~•~•

Dex sat hunched over on the bed, fiddling with one of his gadgets. Several others were strewn all over around him. Fitz's back hurt just thinking about how uncomfortable the position looked.

"Dex?"

No response. Fitz took a few step forwards, his knees buckling. He managed to grab a piece of furniture to stabilize himself, but not before stubbing his toe.

Dex whipped around, startled. "What are you doing here? You should be resting."

Fitz raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be resting too?"

"I'm not the one who almost died."

"I just need to drink that gross tea one more time, I'm basically recovered."

Fitz took another step forward, his knees buckling briefly again.

"Looks recovered to me, Wonderboy."

"I haven't walked in days, I can not be blamed."

Dex rolled his eyes, moving his inventions off to the side. "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for Keefe," Fitz replied.

"He's with Sophie, deciphering his memories or whatever," Dex said, not looking at him.

Part of him wanted to go join them. Maybe him being Sophie's cognate would help. But if he went there, they'd both fuss over his condition. Instead, he sat down on the newly-made available free space on the bed. Dex turned to him and raised an eyebrow at him, but when he didn't say anything, Dex turned back and picked up the Twiggler. He'd never really sat around Dex like this before, since Dex usually worked alone. Fitz found himself just a little bit entranced by his habits: humming, the occasional cursing, all as if he'd already forgotten that Fitz was sitting right there.

He probably should have been more annoyed at the accidental ignorance of his presence, but honestly, he found it almost refreshing. 

When Fitz started noting the slight red flush on Dex's cheeks, he tore his eyes away, a blueprint catching his eye. It was all wrinkled as if it'd gotten wet and crumpled and tossed around, with harsh scribbled written all over. He recognized that invention. It was the cube that had blown up and gotten Fitz accidentally stabbed. All the scribbles were questioning why it ended up resulting in injury. Heart heavy, he looked away, and while the other blueprints didn't look nearly as worn down, they all had lots of scribbles. He was no technopath, but he knew this must have been the work of dozens of late nights.

Fitz looked back at Dex, his face still flushed. "It wasn't your fault, you know that, right? I told you, I don't blame you."

Dex started as if remembering there was another person in the room. "Yeah yeah, so you've said. Still, I need to do everything I can so that it won't happen again."

"You work too hard, you need to rest."

"Everyone's been working so hard. I don't---I don't want to talk about this with you."

Fitz sighed, but understood. He would never understand what Dex Dizznee had gone through, knew that even now, Dex didn't really like him. Instead,  he put a hand on his shoulder, and said, "You've been doing well so far."

Dex stilled. Even with the cloth of his shirt separating, Dex felt warm to the touch. Fitz moved his hand up to his forehead.

"Wonderboy?" Dex asked, his voice a groggy murmur. As Fitz expected, his face was feverish. He even leaned into the hand for a half second, before pulling away, a scowl on his face, but way too weak.

"You're sick," he said.

"'m not," Dex replied. "You're sick."

An amused huff came out. "I'm getting Physic."

Dex raised an eyebrow. "And have her ask why you're out of bed too?"

"Oh. Damn it. But I'm making sure you go to sleep. Do you arrange your stuff any particular way?"

"Nah, just shove it in a corner."

He picked up all the papers and neatly put them in a stack, resting them on the nightstand, and carefully placing the half-made inventions on top. He grabbed a full Bottle of Youth and passed it to Dex. "Drink up, recover fast."

Dex smiled. "You don't have to nurse me back to health."

Fitz smiled back. "We'll all need you at full strength."

"Yeah, I get it." He downed half the bottle, then put it back on the nightstand. "Oh yeah, Keefe stole your dragon, kinda just threw it at me and told me to keep it hidden for now."

Fitz held Mr. Snuggles close. "I'm getting back at him for that... it's comfortable, and I don't want to get back up."

"Just sleep here, bed's big enough."

Fitz raised an eyebrow. "You sure?"

"Ugh, just accept before I take it back."

"Nope---you made the offer!"

"I'm so gonna regret it. I blame the fact that I'm sick."

They both went under the covers, carefully spaced away from each other. Still, Fitz felt that this was the closest they'd been so far. Maybe they could even get closer.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Kotlc taglist: @my-swan-song, @stellarune, @impostertamsong, @subrosasteath @autistic-daydreamer

Want to be added/removed from the kotlc taglist? Just let me know!

[krispykreeme]

last night before falling asleep I had the most soul crushing thought any Sophitz shipper could have.

We could’ve had a pride and prejudice type of romance between Sophie and fitz.

We could’ve had a Darcy and Elizabeth.

Fitzwilliam Darcy whose name is shared with Fitz.

Elizabeth Bennet aka Sophie Elizabeth Foster.

We could’ve had Sophie mentally adjust to the lavish and, quite honestly, insane wealth the elves live in. This compared to her previous life in San Diego would’ve paralleled Elizabeth’s family’s and occasionally her sense of inadequacy by being at the lower ends of high society; just blending in with the members of the high ranks yet being set apart as well (a lot of people refusing to accept Sophie as a normal elf and a lot of hatred towards her for just existing. Vs. Elizabeth Bennet and being targeted by Lady Catherine de Bourgh). We could’ve had some imposter syndrome in the beginning but pushed into the background of Sophie’s mind as it turned into confidence with her handful of abilities and position on Team Valiant. Also if she played more into the role of Elizabeth she’d be a lot wittier and take less bullshit. The whole love triangle would’ve been solved because she addressed it. The neverseen probably would’ve been done by now because as empathetic and kind as she is, (this is more me than Elizabeth talking) she would’ve snapped. Also she’d talk without thinking, often putting the honest out into the world, forcing people to address it.

Fitz could’ve been an asshole in the first few books (which he was but I just don’t remember how). Well, an asshole from Sophie’s point of view. But if any other characters chimed in, they’d comment on his kindness and generosity. We could’ve seen Fitz painstakingly trying to get to know Sophie better through their cognate training, both of them wondering how they even became cognates, and Sophie just refusing to comply because of her pride and prejudice ;). We could’ve seen Fitz evolve from Mr. Perfect who would’ve been stubborn and quite condescending, to his ‘hidden’ kind and patient side (he’s just awkward and doesn’t know how to interact with Sophie), to his much more mature and responsible side. He could’ve had so much character growth, turning into a teenager who recognized the flaws in his idealized society and tried to make his world better, recognizing the extreme prestige and privilege he has. Him letting go of his pride to make deeper connections with people he cares about, and stepping away from his reputation. Recognizing that his prejudice is what is stopping him from being comfortable with himself and others.

We could’ve had the confession scene be from Fitz about the matchmaking but much more tense and dramatic. The juxtaposition between their close body language and harsh words. A rejection from Sophie because: why would she like a guy who ripped her away to a world that hates her even more? How arrogant could he be to believe that she would like him back? Why should she even consider it if he admitted to liking her against his better judgement?? Fitz asking her out on a date through that confession and Sophie tearing him and his preconception of their world apart. Her pride being hurt, only reenforcing the prejudice she hold against him. Fitz apologizing and recognizing that he needs to change. Sophie regretting her intense words but knowing that he needed a wake up call.

We could’ve had such a beautiful arc of one sided dislike (Sophie) and haughty awkwardness (fitz) to, hatred hiding away guilt and possible affection (Sophie) and regret and change and kindness (fitz) where they grow to be close and somewhat friends but haven’t gone over the obstacle of their egos and judgements. Ending with “im sorry I assumed so much about you based on first impressions and your background, my ego got in the way and I was wrong about you. I hated you because you made me face a part of me that I wanted to push away but it was hurting me in the process. I don’t actually hate you, in fact, I like your company and you make me a better person. I should’ve been honest with you and myself from the beginning.”

Although, it retrospect it would’ve been a bit difficult to juggle this in alongside a love triangle, an anti-establishment group, another anti-establishment group, fantasy creatures, school, a shitty government and so many characters (the council, the parents, the Collective, the teens, the bodyguards, the alicorns, the villains, and all the plotholes in between). However, I say if the love triangle was never established in the first place, we could’ve had some room for this, especially over the course of nine 800 paged books.

[moonlayl]

ask game: 7 + 16

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Sam Winchester from spn (even when he irritated me in canon it wasn't enough to truly dislike his character but fans acting like he was a 6 year old child who can do no wrong and can't be held accountable for his own screw ups seriously started to make me dislike his character. Not as much though now lol)

Loki. Even his worst actions never bothered me because he was always a villain and he was interesting on screen, but his fans trying to make him the victim of every situation and that popular 'he's actually a teenager in Asgard years' headcanon annoyed me so much. He's not a helpless little misguided angel. He deliberately hurt people as a grown, powerful, adult and killed hundreds. His character having depth and nuance doesn't change that.

(a lot of characters from aos would technically fit but canon is usually the reason I started disliking those characters at first and fandom just made my dislike stronger. ex: ward, Fitz, deke, Simmons but not as much)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Fitzsimmons. My God, I tried so hard to like them and ship them in the beginning. I don't understand how they're considered the greatest couple like, where??? (but then codependency, slow burn, and jealous male trope is very popular in every fandom for some reason so it checks out I guess)

also, when fans take great found families and then infantilize the younger characters. weirds me out every time. Sorry, but daisy isn't a little baby who needs daddy Coulson and mama May to hold her hand and treat her like a child. She can view them as surrogate parents (she only really does this with Coulson in canon though, and even then because they met as adults one moment their relationship is a certain way and the next its another, which makes sense. don't think canon Daisy would ever call Coulson "dad" or May "mom" unless as a joke)while still treating them like friends/mentors and with them still treating her like a capable adult who can make her own life choices. She's literally 25 when she meets them.

cruel boy with a bad past + good girl romance.

enemies to lovers and childhood friends to lovers (except for very few scenarios

there's probably. a lot of other tropes but my mind is blank rn.

Thank you very much for sending in this ask! sorry if some of these responses sounded...harsh? I'm half asleep so I wrote it the way I'd say it, which I know doesn't always translate well through writing lol

choose violence ask game

[mariajamel]

Hey, just wanted to say that your “Fitz and the Fool’s Anagnorisis” is by far my favorite piece of ROTE artwork I’ve seen. I’ve got the rote brain rot right now and this art piece is giving me FEELINGS. Both Fitz and the Fool look very close to how I imagine them in my head. I’m entranced by the lighting you created in this piece. The harsh lighting on the Fool accentuates his dawning realization, torn between joy and horror, while the softer lighting on Fitz suites his forlorn yearning and weariness. I find myself frequently revisiting this piece when I just need something to scratch that rote itch. It’s like a stim toy for my eyeballs. This was such a tender, beautiful scene and you’ve captured it perfectly.

Hi, sorry for not responding earlier - this is my favourite message regarding my art I've ever gotten and I wanted to treasure it quietly for a while first. I'm really touched by your words and beyond glad my work resonates with you. Thank you so much! I hope you're having an amazing day!

[whateverthese2havetournament]

Well, folks. If there's two things tumblr loves in a relationship, its woman and toxicity, and our two finalists truly exemplify this.

Before we head into the finals, I'd like to take a moment to reflect on some of the highlights of the tournament thus far.

Biggest Buzz: Perryschmirtz VS PateCrate, with almost 1,250 votes. Truly a tonesetter for the entire event.

Slimmest Margin: Cid and Nero, who lost by negative one vote, due to a technicality. And it was against Hannigram. Bravo.

Widest Margin: Fitz and the Fool VS Sam and Frodo, by over 75% of the vote. Sorry, book fans. Seeding is a harsh mistress.

Highest-placing Men: House and Wilson. This category was originally going to be highest-placing women but life's full of surprises.

Biggest Upset (Host's Opinion): Jessie and James. No disrespect to the Newsies fandom but you were absolutely delusional.

I'd also like to just thank everyone for participating in whatever capacity you have. my biggest worry when getting this going was none of my polls breaking 100 votes.

Anyway I'm really busy with other things this weekend, so expect Yellowjackets Vs. Portal Yuro next Monday.

[ppersonna]

out of my league - knj | 01

you were out of my league. got my heartbeat racing. if i die, don't wake me, cause you are more than just a dream - out of my league, fitz and the tantrums

✹ summary- Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out about your years-long hopeless crush on him. And he most definitely was not supposed to find out about it in front of all your coworkers in a company-wide meeting.

✹ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

✹ pairing- kim namjoon x reader

✹ word count- 6.6k

✹ genre- angst, smut, comedy

✹ chapter warnings- swearing, descriptions of sex, sexual content, namjoon being a sexy flirt, jungkook being a himbo, awkward conversations, jimin being a protective bff

✹ a/n- hello and welcome to this fic thats lived in my google docs for almost a year now. without @ladyartemesia @xjoonchildx @untaemedqueen and @chimoona, i would never have posted it. i truly owe so much of my brainstorming and creativity to their incredible brains and thoughts and ideas. i love them very much! i hope you enjoy this first chapter! please feel free to message me, talk to me abt anything!! im always here to chat. ILY!

MASTERLIST

Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out this way.

You planned to confess your undying, unerring love for your coworker at a better time, a classier place. You would wear a dress that highlighted your features, hair cascading down your back, makeup done to perfection and spritzed with expensive perfume. You’d confess, he’d confess right back, and you’d live happily ever after.

You’d also dreamt that Kim Namjoon would have the slightest inkling of who you are before he finds out about your year long crush. He might know you as the mousy girl in the office who doesn’t talk and doesn’t contribute much other than some crunched numbers and apparently the best coffee brewer in the office. But you’d prefer he knows you well—your favorite colors and movies and foods, what makes you happy and sad; things future husbands should know.

You very much did not think it would happen in a company wide conference, full of over five hundred suit-wearing executives. You did not think it would be done by the office bully, Chungha, who carefully takes over the mic and speaks the words clearly as she presents awards of recognition.

“Congratulations to Kim Namjoon for 5 years with the company, over $4 million in revenue, and the object of ____’s lust and affection. I’m sure you two will have the happy life she’s written in her journal about. Make sure you celebrate with her today!”

The room is silent, so silent you could have heard a pin drop from a mile away. Your face is cherry red and you wish the earth would open up and swallow you whole. Your heart feels like someone has ripped it in half and you stare in horror at the girl smirking at the front. Is this what it feels like to be backstabbed? Namjoon looks perplexed—confusion written on his face as he gestures around to no one in particular like he’s saying ‘what the fuck was that?’

Awkward coughing and clapping begins and Namjoon stands to receive his award, a fine wooden fountain pen, and chances a glance around the room. He easily spots you, with your wide, frightened face. His look remains passive, not hinting what he’s thinking behind those stormy eyes, before he turns and sits back down at the table with his buddies from his department.

You seriously contemplate quitting your job. You could find a new one easily, right? Just stand up and tell your boss you quit and you’re out of there before Namjoon ever sees you again and you’ll never have to face the mean girl who’s ratting you out.

As much as the idea rolls through your head, you know you won’t do it. You love your job, love the security and finances it provides you, and you love to look at Kim Namjoon, all day every day.

You don’t understand where things went wrong.

( one month ago )

It’s 9:03 am. You finish brewing the coffee in the small staff kitchen and sigh at the aroma of the freshly ground beans. Coffee is your favorite meal, favorite time of day, favorite snack, and preferred beverage. You drink it constantly. You’re known as “coffee girl” at work, mostly because no one really bothers to get to know you beyond that. You drink coffee like it’s a devoted religion. You could drink a cup right before bed and still sleep like a baby. It was, put simply, your drink.

The office workers deem you to be the one to make the pots of coffee every morning, claiming you were the ‘best’. You didn’t mind—you preferred to make your own coffee regardless—but you believe your coworkers are trying to pass off the twenty-minute job to someone lower in the office hierarchy. And you were one step above the interns.

The coffee machine chimes to let you know it’s hot, and it’s ready for you. You eagerly pour a mug, a large one, and smile as the waft of freshly ground beans (by you, of course) fills your senses.

You nearly knock the cup out of your hand as Kim Namjoon strolls into the office, eyes set on the coffee.

You feel your throat swell up, like he’s an allergen and you’re caught without an epi-pen. Butterflies swirl in your stomach and you can’t stop staring at him. He pays you no mind, tired yet determined to pour a cup of coffee and get back to his office.

You stand in the small kitchen, clutching your coffee like a lifeline, and pray to god you don’t do something stupid.

Namjoon pours his mug, and you watch his muscular hands grip the coffee pot. He pours a hefty amount of cream and sugar into his cup—it appears even perfect male specimens have their faults. 

Your eyes dance on his face before they tango down his body. You wonder what he looks like in the morning, crawling out of bed with mussed hair and a sleepy smile painted on his face. He’d look at you and tell you you’re the most beautiful girl and kiss you deeply despite morning breath. Maybe he’d take you to the shower to press you against the tile as he fuc-

“Oh!” it startles Namjoon to see you, and the coffee in his hand swishes violently. “Didn’t see you there. Sorry!”

Your heart melts. He’s the picture of kindness and politeness. You recognize it’s been a few seconds and you still haven’t replied.

“It’s fine!”

“Great coffee, by the way,” he smiles. His teeth nearly knock you out cold with their brilliance. “Have a good day.”

He turns and exits the room without so much as a glance back at you. Your knees feel weak.

Kim Namjoon talked to you. He complimented you. He told you to have a good day. It’s the best and most significant conversation you’ve had with your secret crush.

You definitely file that away for another day when you need to reminisce on his compliment, and you scurry out of the kitchen towards your desk.

Park Jimin is waiting dutifully at your desk when you arrive, a smug smile still slapped over your features as you sip at your coffee. Namjoon spoke to you today—how lovely.

Jimin quirks an eyebrow. 

“What’s got you so perky this morning?” 

You’re normally quiet and passive, avoiding eye contact or any semblance of emotion on your face.

You look up at the blonde bespectacled boy. Park Jimin is the closest thing to a best friend in the company. He’s who you spend time with at lunch, see on weekends, and text often. You suppose he’s the closest thing to a best friend you have in your entire life.

You send him a smirk and lean in close to whisper. “Namjoon said hi to me today!”

Jimin sends you a pitiful look and pats your shoulder. Your best friend is well aware of your secret crush and while he thinks Namjoon is a nice guy, he thinks your crush is a little hopeless. He’s the most popular guy in the office, often has dates lined up every weekend. Jimin hears the way he and his friends talk in the break room. The man is definitely not hurting for female attention.

“Oh, honey,” he sighs, unenthusiastically. “That’s great.” He can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness over how excited you’re getting from a simple ‘hello’ from a coworker.

“I know, right? Anyway, lunch today?” You ask as you settle down into your cubicle.

Jimin pushes his glasses up his face and nods. “Of course! That’s why I came by this morning. I wanted to let you know that Jungkook from marketing will join us.”

You make a face, disgust etched in the lines creasing your forehead. 

“Why?”

Jungkook is well known in the company. He’s a loudmouth, a player, a clown, and everyone’s favorite comedian. He’s just not your favorite.

“Don’t be rude,” Jimin admonishes at your grimace. “He asked to join and well—he’s cute. I can’t say no to him.”

“Oh Christ, Jimin,” you groan. “Not you too! Don’t tell me you have the hots for the serial fuckboy?”

He blushes lightly and shrugs. “Maybe I do! Be nice to him today or I’ll eat all your chocolate ice cream I know you have at home.”

You stick your tongue out, petulantly. “Fine, now let me get to work or else Seokjin will be up my ass.”

Jimin smiles and kisses your cheek before he scurries away, back to human resources.

It feels as if barely any time has passed. You’re working hard, running calculations and updating spreadsheets. You have an eye for numbers, and losing yourself in an equation is just another day for you. You’re shaken from your cheerful place by a vibration from your phone, and a text alert popping on the lit screen.

jimin 12:01 pm- it’s lunchtime!! you better get your butt out here!

You smile and text back an affirmative reply, then move to grab your lunch from the company fridge. Gliding down the steps leading to the fresh outdoors, you meet Jimin at the lunch tables in the grass.

Jimin is sitting with Jungkook. You can recognize your best friend by his hair and glasses, and Jungkook by his obnoxious laughter.

“Hi,” you murmur as you sit down and open up the brown bag lunch you’ve brought.

“Hi!” Jimin is excited to see you, and just a pinch over eager to be sitting next to Jungkook.

“You know Jungkook, right?” Jimin asks, a harsh look in his eyes that reminds you to be on your best behavior.

You nod as you pull out a bag of grapes. “Oh, yeah, hey,” you smile. “I’ve seen you around.”

Jungkook delivers you a signature smirk and you feel yourself roll your eyes internally. “Yeah, you’re Coffee Girl, right?”

You pout and glare down at your brown bag lunch. Will you ever become more than just Coffee Girl?

“Yeah, I suppose that’s me.”

Jimin clears his throat to dismiss any awkwardness. 

“So, Jungkook, I hear you like working out? ___ likes to work out too. She drags me to the gym sometimes. Maybe we could all meet up sometime?” You don’t miss the hopeful lilt in his voice. Jungkook does.

“Oh, yeah?” He narrows a sexy look at you, rather—a look he thinks is sexy that you find off-putting. “What do you do at the gym? Little cardio sets with 5 pound weights?”

What an asshole.

“Sometimes,” you state as you take a bite of the homemade salad you handcrafted last night. “Most of the time I’m lifting heavy. I can bench 275 and deadlift 300.”

Jungkook looks taken back. “What, really?” He sounds breathless. “You lift more than Namjoon-hyung.”

At the sound of the love of your life’s name, you pause. Your face heats quickly and Jungkook smirks. Of course, he recognizes this and not Jimin’s obvious flirting.

“Why are you blushing?” He asks. “Did I say something?”

You’re quick to dismiss things. “Um--no. I just um,” you’re grasping at straws. “I’m hot.”

Jimin is trying not to laugh, hiding his mouth behind a petite hand.

Jungkook tilts his head. “It’s not even sunny today.”

You gulp. “Yeah, I must be hot. With a fever. M-malaria… probably.”

Jungkook snorts. 

“You have malaria? Bummer.” He picks at his nails. “I thought for a moment you had a thing for Namjoon.”

“No!” The retort is quick, too quick for normal conversation, and it gives you away.

“Aha!” Jungkook points an accusing finger at you. “You have the hots for him, don’t you?”

Your features melt, and Jimin tries to assuage the situation. “Jungkook, please don’t tell anyone,” he pleads.

Jungkook smiles at you. “That’s so cute. It’s like a little nerdy freshman crushing on the senior class president.”

You bury your head in your hands, suddenly unable to stomach any food.

“Jungkook,” Jimin’s tone becomes more firm, authoritative. “I’m asking you this as a friend. Please, don’t say anything.”

Jungkook holds his hands up to prove his innocence and waves his proverbial white flag. 

“Secret is safe with me,” he promises. “But it’s cute. I know him really well, you know. I could try to hook you two up.”

You blanch, unsure if you want Jungkook saying anything about you to the man of your dreams. 

“I’m good, but thanks,” you offer meekly. “I’m not feeling well. I’m going to head back to work, okay?”

Jimin frowns, knowing you’re feeling like a cornered animal, and nods. “Feel better, babe,” he sighs.

Jungkook watches as you leave and turns to Jimin. “Man, he’s way out of her league.”

Jimin slaps the boy in the chest. “Be nice, asshole, that’s my best friend.”

Jungkook promises to be nice, and Jimin is blissfully unaware that others are listening and that the man beside him is easy to persuade.

( present day )

The company-wide meeting adjourns soon after what is likely to be the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever lived through.

You’re grabbing at your things and trying to run out of the room, desperate to get out before anyone sees you or talks to you or laughs at you.

A hand grabs at the coattails of your suit jacket and you’re pulled backwards with a yelp. You turn to seek your captor and find the concerned face of your best friend, Jimin.

“Are you okay? What the fuck just happened?”

Jimin’s concern makes it all real. Until now you could pretend you were in a fugue state, totally dissociated from reality. Now, you realize that everyone in the entire company is aware of your crush on Kim Namjoon.

You can feel your bottom lip wobble, tears threatening to spill. Jimin murmurs an ‘oh shit’ and drags you out of the large room and into the nearest bathroom. He pushes you to sit against the sink and passes you toilet paper to dab at your eyes.

“I don’t know how she found out!” you cry. “God, I feel so stupid and embarrassed.”

It incenses Jimin. He’s holding it back to ensure you’re okay, but in reality, it’s an HR nightmare waiting to happen. He’ll find who did it and punish them accordingly.

They will suffer. 

“It’s okay, babe,” he pulls you into a hug. “Everyone will forget about it soon. They’ll think it’s just a lame office joke, okay?”

You nod, feeling the slightest bit comforted by his words. 

“How could she find out, Jiminie?” You ask with a sniffle. “You’re the only person who knows.”

Jimin sighs and shakes his head.

“I don’t know, but they’re dead. I haven’t told any-... oh, my god,” Jimin stops suddenly. You look up at him to catch what he’s thinking.

He growls and balls his fists. 

“Jungkook knew.”

You let out a sob and bawl your eyes out into the tissue you’re holding. Jimin holds you tighter while he conjures up a hundred different ways to hurt someone and make it look like an accident.

“Don’t worry,” Jimin sighs, trying to comfort both you and himself. “I’m HR. I have to handle this. I’ll make sure they get what they deserve.”

You feel a sting of pain for Jimin. He’s been hopelessly doting on the man who spilled the beans for a few months now, even got to take him on a few dates. It was still nothing serious, but Jimin was clearly smitten.

“I’m sorry you have to do that, Chim,” you whisper. “I know how you feel about him.”

“Yeah, well,” he swallows thickly. “You’re more important than any asshole.”

Jimin holds you tight for a few minutes longer, before you clean yourself up and steel yourself. Ignore everyone, Jimin encourages. Just get to work, he says. Then you can go home and we’ll drink wine and forget about it all, he promises.

You replay his words in his head like a prayer as you walk down the corridors and towards your office. Everyone in the hallways stops to stare at you. They lean towards their friends and whisper. You hear snippets of their gossip, like “Namjoon” and “out of her league”. It drives the sharp blade lodged in your chest even further. It threatens to collapse your lungs and break your ribs.

You make it to your desk safe and sound and bury yourself in work and forcibly ignore the gawking and the stares. 

Just make it home. Just get through the day. You’re almost there.

You could do this.

You nearly make it the entire day before running into the one person you didn’t want to see, Kim Namjoon.

At the end of the day, you’re taking the stairs down to the parking garage instead of the elevator. The elevator is too busy, too many people, and you’re trying to avoid the stares and giggles at your expense. The stairs are always deserted and you figure it’s your safest bet.

You can nearly hear the wine calling your name at home. A delicate glass of Sauvignon Blanc and some chocolate ice cream and a good cry—it sounds like the best and only way to unwind after the worst day you’ve ever had in your life.

The chanting of your name gets louder and you wonder if you’ve finally lost your mind—if you’re actually hearing your wine bottles all the way at home talking to you.

No, wait. The voice is real, and coming from behind you. You turn around to face who’s calling you and nearly faint at the sight.

Kim Namjoon stands on the landing above you, one strip of stairs between you.

“Hey!” He seems glad he’s caught you. “I’ve been calling your name for a minute.”

You swallow and search for an answer. 

“Sorry, I’m-.. I guess I’m just a little out of it today.”

Namjoon grimaces. 

“Yeah, about that…” he begins as he takes the steps down to be on equal ground as you. Your heart is spinning wildly. He’s so close to you. He’s talking to you. On any other day you’d be erupting towards the sky like a firework. But today isn’t any other day.

“I feel like I should apologize,” he states. “I don’t know what happened. I didn’t plan it or anything.”

Damn him and his kindness. Damn him and his cute, awkward smile.

“No, no,” you assure. “I know you didn’t. You don’t have to apologize.”

It’s hard to make eye contact with the man. You want to, know it’s important in intense conversations like this, but the thought of him seeing you—really seeing you makes you ache inside.

“It was a really shitty prank,” he begins. “I’m sure you don’t even know who I am, let alone have a crush on me.”

For the millionth time that day, your face heats to a near boil. You stammer and you’re sure you’ve blown any chance at even thinking about a date with Namjoon.

“Oh, uh, right,” you seek an answer, beg your brain to pick something to say that doesn’t make you sound stupid. “I do.”

“You do what?” He’s confused and you widen your eyes at what just left your mouth.

“I do know you! I mean, I do have a crush on you! Oh, fuck,” you shove your face into your hands. “Please, ignore that. I need to go. Sorry!” You don’t give him a chance to reply, you book it out of the stairway as fast as your heels will take you.

Today was the worst day you’ve suffered through in your life.

The next few days aren’t much better.

Not only are you “coffee girl”, you’re now also sarcastically called “Namjoon’s girl”. As much as you hate your initial title, you’d prefer it to the new one they throw at you as you walk by.

Jimin rats out Jungkook and Chungha to the bosses. They get two weeks probation and they have to write you apology letters if they wish to keep their permanent files clean of any reprimands. It’s a slap on the wrist, and everyone involved knows it. Jimin is furious and wants the boss to reconsider. You tell him not to push it. You’d rather this be over and everyone to forget it even happened. Jimin unwillingly agrees.

You’re working at your desk, earphones shoved in your ears to diffuse the gossip in the room, when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn and are greeted with the face of Judas Iscariot himself, Jeon Jungkook.

“Hi,” he sounds sheepish, cheeks reddening.

You narrow your eyes at him, sharper than steel. “What the fuck do you want?”

He winces, knowing he deserved that. “Well, I just wanted to apologize. I know they told me to write you a letter, but it seems too impersonal…”. 

You can’t believe Jungkook is sucking his ego up and actually coming to you to apologize. You thought he’d for sure be the one to cop out and send a shitty letter.

He continues. 

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry that all went down. I didn’t mean to tell her. She got me drunk and said she saw me eating lunch with you and Jimin. I think she was jealous or something and it slipped out. I know that’s not an excuse. I fucked up your trust and Jimin’s trust. But I just wanted you to know I didn’t do it to be an asshole. She sort of duped me.”

You pause as you take in the man’s apology. He didn’t have to come to you in person. He could have easily taken the shitty route and half-assed a letter to you. But he didn't, and he owned up to his mistake. God dammit.

“I appreciate your apology, Jungkook,” you sigh and you see his body visibly relax. “I’m still mad, but I guess the anger is at her for doing it in the first place. I’m sorry she tricked you.”

He breathes a sigh of relief and kneels down beside you. “I’m really happy you believe me. I was worried you were going to kick me in the nuts.

“I won’t lie, I thought about it.”

He smiles with you, and you feel like this is the restart of a friendship. “I definitely deserved it.”

You shrug and smile. “Jimin would kill me for hurting you. He might even kill me for thinking about hurting you.”

Jungkook’s smile drops at the name of your best friend. Yikes. Looks like there’s still trouble in paradise.

“I think you’d be in similar company with Jimin right now. He’s not speaking to me.”

You let out a breath through your nose. “Yeah, he’s a little protective of me.”

“For good reason,” he admits. “You’re like a cute little flower. A cute nerdy flower.”

“Jungkook,” you warn. “I just forgave you after I was humiliated in front of the entire company. I’d be careful with calling me nerdy right now.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

It’s hard to stay mad at the boy, no matter how much you dislike his reputation around the office. The fact that he humbled himself enough to seek you out and apologize is proof enough to you of his character.

“It’s okay, Jungkook. I forgive you,” you smile. “Thank you for apologizing.”

He rubs the back of his neck anxiously as his cheeks flare red.

“Yeah, it felt pretty shitty to just… do anything else. Plus, you seem really cool.”

“You seem great, too, Jungkook.”

He smiles and pulls you in for a hug, catching you off guard. For the fuckboy type, he’s surprisingly sensitive and soft. You like that about him.

“I’ll see you around, okay?” He says as he pulls away from you.

“Maybe you should apologize to Jimin, too?” 

His smile drops, but he nods anyway. “Yeah, maybe I’ll go find him now.”

“Good luck,” you offer with a pat on his shoulder.

With a sad smile, he turns and heads down the hallway towards the HR department. You pray Jimin shows mercy to the handsome boy.

A few weeks go by, and you’re sure that everyone has forgotten about you and your most embarrassing moment to date. You make the coffee, you calculate the numbers, everyone ignores you. Things return to relative normalcy.

Until it doesn't. The moment you think you're safe is the moment your guard comes down and everything falls apart around you.

It's when you're in the staff kitchen, grinding fresh beans to brew a second pot of coffee, that it happens.

The kitchen is fuller than usual. You normally try to wait until the lunchtime crowd dwindles and leaves to make your second pot, but you're so desperate for the caffeine that you can't find it in you to care.

You trudge into the kitchen with your handy coffee mug clutched in your tired hands and head towards the cupboards to grind up the beans.

There's a few groups of coworkers lingering in the room, and as your grinder whirs the beans around into a powder, you chance a look around to see who's among the crowd.

Your eyes flick immediately to where a hearty laugh erupts. It makes your heart still in your throat. Namjoon sits with his usual crowd of friends, hand gripping a homemade sandwich while the other assists him in telling his story to his friends. He pays you no mind—why would he?—and you can't help but stare at the way his dark brown hair lays perfectly against his forehead, and his eyes crinkle so cutely at the edges when he smiles.

You nearly forget about the coffee grounds—you're snapped out of your Namjoon-induced trance when suddenly a woman's laugh echoes around the room.

"Look at her," the voice states.

You peer up and see a girl you vaguely recognize. Is she from Marketing? Or perhaps Sales? You’re not sure, but she’s staring at you with a sneer.

“She’s so weirdly obsessed with Namjoon. It’s so creepy.”

Your face turns cherry red and you’re sure your lungs stop functioning. The air your body needs to breathe freezes and your chest aches. 

Namjoon turns to look at the girl before he looks and sees you grasping your coffee grounds tightly.

“Chungha was right—it’s so weird. Namjoon, you should talk to HR about this!”

Namjoon turns back to the gossiping coworker and frowns. “Can you leave it alone? She wasn’t even doing anything.”

The girl huffs and crosses her arms over her chest and looks back at Namjoon.

“How can you stand to be in the same room as her? She clearly thinks she has a chance with you.”

Her words come out like a bite. She punctuates her point with a harsh laugh and the group around her mumbles and chuckles in agreement.

You’re desperately grabbing at anything you can, wanting to leave as quickly as possible before you’re embarrassed further.

“Well, she does!” Namjoon replies loudly, annoyance written in his features. “I was actually going to ask her to dinner this weekend in private, but since everyone is so fucking interested in my love life, I have to do it publicly.”

The room falls silent, and your favorite mug falls out from your hands and shatters on the floor. All sets of eyes stare at you while yours widen with disbelief—you don't even care that you’re standing in a pool of old coffee and shattered ceramic. 

Namjoon stands and heads over to you, bending down to pick up the shards of your coffee mug. You take a few stunted breaths to kneel and help. 

His eyes peer into yours. They’re warm—a chocolate brown color that makes you feel safe.  

“What do you say?” He asks with a smile so gentle it nearly breaks your heart. “Will you let me take you out this weekend?” 

You’re gaping like a fish and the surrounding room is silent—bated breath waiting for your reply. 

“Yes, I would l-love that.” 

His smile turns even brighter, and he stands to throw the broken mug away. 

“I’ll email you the details, okay?”

Your head nods dumbly without thinking. His eyes sparkle as he smiles at you, and he extends his hand down to you to assist you off the floor. As your hand slips into his, you can’t help but feel how soft and strong he feels. You wonder what his hand would feel like caressing your face, smoothing down the expanse of your bare back, running down the length of your body.

The thoughts shake out of you as he winks and kisses your hand gently, causing the gossiping coworker to grunt her disapproval and for murmurs of shock to echo around the room.

“I’ll talk to you later, doll.” Namjoon winks at you before he grabs his sandwich and leaves the room, gesturing to his crew to follow along.

The place on your hand felt warm where his lips once lingered. You no longer cared about the angry glares from the rest of your coworkers. Your heart beats wildly in your chest, and you leave the kitchen nearly floating on cloud nine.

Email from: Kim Namjoon

Sent: 3:06 pm

Subject: Hey good lookin ;)

Hey! 

Just wanted to see how you are! I’m sorry about what happened at lunchtime. That was super petty and uncalled for. I really wanted to ask you out, and I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much by doing it in front of everyone.

I was wondering if you’d like to go out this Friday night after work? Say around 7? If you send me your address, I’ll pick you up.

Let me know!

Xoxo, Joon

You’re sure if you weren’t sitting in your tiny cubicle, you’d be screaming your lungs out.

The second the notification of the email came through, direct from the man of your desires himself, your body froze.

You re-read the message, over and over and over.  

The winky emoji, the xoxo, the nickname ‘joon’. It’s all so much and makes the grin on your face threaten to split your lips in half.

Your fingers press the “FWD” button and you quickly send the message to Jimin, before you stand demurely, attempting to give off an air of professional confidence. You need to talk to Jimin, now.

As soon as you’re out of the eyesight of suspicious coworkers, you bolt down the hallway towards Human Resources. Your high heels click loudly on the tiled floor, but the sound doesn’t even register in your mind. All you can think about is Namjoon, the email, the press of his lips on your hand, the way his smile made you feel as if you could fly.  

The door to HR swings open with your tight grip around the doorknob, and you open your mouth to call to Jimin, the lone employee, when you’re startled by the sight ahead of you.

Jimin sits on the edge of his expansive desk with his arms thrown around Jungkook’s neck and is clearly engaged in a deep, sensual kiss. At the sound of the door opening, they quickly break apart, with matching cherry red blushes on their cheeks and mused hair.

“Oh, shit,” you gasp. 

The men are silent and you can’t help but giggle after a moment passes. “I’ll take it you two made up?”

Jungkook flashes you a dopey grin, one that gives you an answer, while Jimin smirks haughtily.

“Jungkook and I were just discussing, umm… his 401k.”

Jungkook looks at the blonde boy for a moment, confused, before he gets it. “Yeah! Totally. Retirement. Love to t-talk about it?”

You laugh out loud and walk towards the couple.

“I’m sure it was a titillating discussion,” you tease. “I have good news though, if it’s okay to interrupt this retirement planning session.”

Jimin nods and Jungkook rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly. “I guess I should leave?”

“It’s okay,” you smile. “I trust you.”

Jungkook smiles as if he’s just won the lottery. He looks between you and Jimin, face pure and excited like a puppy.

“What’s up?” Jimin asks as he moves to sit down at his desk.

“I forwarded you an email. Read it.”

Jimin nods and logs on to his posh computer, scrolling and clicking before narrowing his eyes and reading.

“Oh, my god.” Jimin’s face is shocked—it's written all over his features. “Namjoon asked you out?!”

Jungkook’s child-like grin turns into one of shock himself. He runs around to stand behind Jimin, eyes seeking over the words of the email.

“Well, hot damn,” Jungkook whistles. “He asked her out.”

Jimin exchanges a look with Jungkook, one that you’re not sure you can read. It quickly slips your mind, however, as you’re more focused on the task at hand.

“Can you come over tonight after work and help me pick out something to wear?” You ask excitedly.

Jimin smiles at you, a touch of sadness in his eyes, before he nods.

“Of course, babe,” he assures. “We’ll make sure you look nice and hot for the date with Mr. Kim.”

“Thank you!” You squeal as you wrap your arms around your best friend. He hugs you back before you scurry out of the office and back to your cubicle, itching to reply to the message.

Jimin sighs as the door to his office closes behind you.

“Kook, please don’t tell me he’s going to break her heart. He’s asking her out to make himself feel better about this, isn’t he?” 

Jungkook slips his hand into Jimin’s and squeezes. 

“I’ll find out, baby.”

Jimin smiles and nods appreciatively at the boy, before leaning up and kissing him.

Jungkook smiles against his lips, and is determined to ensure the young HR specialist never hates him again, even if he has to go behind his hyung’s back to ensure his new boyfriend’s happiness.

Jungkook has one mission now, and that’s ensuring Namjoon takes you on the greatest date known to man.

He grills Jimin with questions about what you like over dinner one night. Jimin finds it endearing that Jungkook is so eager to rectify his mistakes, but he still can’t help but worry that Namjoon is doing this to save face—not because he actually likes you.

“So, what does she like doing?” Jungkook asks as he spins his pasta around his chopsticks idly.

Jimin smiles as he takes a bite of the ramen Jungkook has thoughtfully prepared for their stay-at-home date.  

“I’ve told you already! She’s easy to figure out.” Jimin pats Jungkook’s hand gently. “She loves cooking and baking, working out, daydreaming about Namjoon.” 

“Cooking, hm,” Jungkook looks thoughtful as he takes a bite. “I think Namjoon can work with that. I’ll let him know!”

Jimin tries to hide the anxiety brewing in his stomach. He’s had to plaster on a fake smile for you while you tried on different outfits, wondering which will be the one to finally convince Namjoon he is the one for you. It’s hard to fake it around his boyfriend, too—but something tugs in his stomach that flares the cynical side of him.

Namjoon went from not knowing of your existence, to watching you get publicly embarrassed in a matter of minutes. While Namjoon isn’t a terrible guy, Jimin knows he doesn’t like anything to tarnish the gentleman reputation he’s built in the office. And as much as Jimin likes him, and surely likes his friend Jungkook, he can’t help but feel skeptical.

Jungkook hurriedly pulls out his phone and types away, letting his elder friend know of what he’s found out. Jimin swallows his food, and his pride, and hopes to god his growing cynicism is wrong.

Friday comes slower than you’d like. You wake up every day during the week, one day closer, and your eagerness hits peak levels. Namjoon sees you in the hallways during the week and winks at you, hands shoved in his tight slacks that make you salivate.  

He emails you again Thursday afternoon, confirming things and getting your address. You reply in nanoseconds, uncaring how overeager you come off. 

By the time your alarm clock rings on Friday morning, you’ve already been awake for 4 hours.

All you can do is daydream about the date, the way his hand fits into yours, the warmth of his eyes when he smiles at you.

It’s what fuels you through work.

You hope to god the numbers you’re attempting to work during the day come out right, because your mind is elsewhere for more than most of the day. There isn’t enough coffee in the world, but also your body feels as if you’ve overdosed on caffeine already.

The clock eeks towards 5:00 pm and you’re bolting out the door at 4:56 to head home and get ready for your date.

Jimin attempts to meet you before you leave, but your desk is cold and empty by the time he gets there.  

He sighs and heads back towards his office to gather his things, waving bye to various coworkers as they file out of the corporate building.

He turns the corner towards his office but stops in his tracks as he sees Namjoon’s back to him, phone pressed to his ear.

“Baby, I’ll come over later tonight, okay?” Namjoon speaks into the phone.

Jimin feels his heart fall into the pit of his stomach. He retreats and hides behind a wall, ear carefully peeled to listen to the tall man’s conversation.

“I’m going on this date with that chick from work,” he sighs. “It won’t last more than a few hours. Poor girl has a crush on me and you know the usual assholes won’t leave her alone.”

Jimin bites his lip and clenches his fist. Namjoon thinks he means well, but he knows his suspicions have been confirmed, and he’s torn inside. He wants to tell you, to warn you not to get too invested in the man, but he also has no interest in popping the bubble you’ve been in since the day he asked you out.

Jimin lets it simmer for now. He decides he’ll monitor Namjoon and cut things off if it appears the man strings you along for fun.

Namjoon finishes his phone call with a promise to see whoever is on the other end of the phone later that night, and Jimin quickly pulls out his phone and fakes a conversation with no one when he hears the man approach.

“Oh, Kookie,” Jimin giggles, leaning against the wall casually. “I can’t wait to see you tonight, either, babe.”

Namjoon walks towards Jimin and makes eye contact with the HR specialist.

“Bye, Kook! See you tonight, baby.” Jimin finishes up the fake phone call as Namjoon arrives next to him, and he plasters on his best fake smile.

“Congrats on you and Jungkook,” he speaks sincerely.

Jimin hates how nice he is, hates that he’s a nice guy who gets too wrapped up in his own good looks and reputation.

“Thanks, Namjoon,” Jimin smiles uneasily. “You too! Have fun on your date tonight.”

Namjoon’s face lights up and Jimin desperately wishes he could go back in time to 30 seconds ago, before he heard the conversation, and believe that Namjoon truly wanted to date you.

“Thanks, should be fun, huh?” He winks and nudges Jimin, before he waves a goodbye and continues out the door.

Jimin pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials the number of his boyfriend.

“Hey, baby. We’ve got a problem.”

tag list! - @jimidol @aretha170 @dearbambideer​ 

[golden-web]

(Ooc: sorry this is all confusing but we’re going Dr. Simmons POV now so bare with me)

I look at the screen showing Finley’s brain data. They’re asleep now, thankfully they accepted some sedatives tonight to rest. I rub my eyes and plop my head on the table.

“Hey jemma,” Fitz says as he walks into the lab. “I brought you a sand which. Well us sandwiches.” He sits down next to me. “Have you called their dad?”

“No, I probably should.” I stand up and reach for my phone. I scroll through till his number pops up. Before the phone can even ring once Mr. Fitzgerald picks up.

“How are they?” He asks shakily.

“They’re asleep right now. We… we’re not really sure what happened yet. We are having Mr. Barnes come in tomorrow to see if anything is happening in his brain.”

“He said that, do you think it’s something to do with hydra?” He says.

“We don’t really know. We have called Shuri cron Wakanda who helped both of them and she has been looking over the little we know. We hope note. Your child is safe right now though. How are you sir?”

“I’m okay,” his words say that but his voice says everything. “Bucky went back to his apartment but came back saying neither of us should be alone.”

“How is Mr. Barnes?”

“Oh, his arm is okay, and the… the cuts weren’t bad.” He seems to choke slightly at this. “I’ve never seen her do anything like that.

“Is that Mr. Fitzgerald?” Dr. Garner asks as he sweeps into the lab. I nod quietly. “Can I have the phone?”

“Sir, I’m going to give the phone to Dr. Garner now, alright?” I hear a whimper on the other side and hand it to him. They seem to talk for a while as my and Fitz sit in silence eating our sandwiches. After a while Dr. Garner comes back over and hand me my phone.

“He’s such a good father.” Dr. Garner sighs and sits down.

“Why do think Finley isn’t a good kid?” I say a tad too harsh.

“Well no, it’s just—”

“I’m not trying to place blame Andrew, but it seems a bit like you and Finely don’t always get along. That you’ve done some things.” I’ve never been so short with him before. His lips purse into a line.

“Are you saying this is my fault?”

“Well no…” I shake my head. “I’m sorry sir, I’m tired. But you don’t always seem to be doing the best for them.” He sighs at this.

“I’ll be honest. I know how to help adult soldiers. Finleys a child who was forced to play soldier. There’s a lot of foreign territory. I’ve never dealt with teens.”

“Do you not like finely?” Fitz says through a full mouth.

“I’m quite found of them, really. I just wish I could help more. Most adults seem so much more willing of help than they do. It’s frustrating. They don’t always want to listen to authority.”

“That’s most teens,” I say. But I understand. Finley is difficult sometimes. “I’m sorry sir. We need to work together. Because regardless, somethings not right with them.”

[sophitz]

I’m going to toss my opinion in to the mix if that’s okay, because honestly? I think a big part of Fitz’s hate comes from the difference between his portrayal in the narrative in comparison to Keefe’s, even if they’re both very similar. Like…they both act out because of stress and trauma, right? But, the narrative doesn’t really emphasize that as much for Fitz as it does for Keefe. (Not saying that the narrative never does- just not nearly as much.) WE know that Fitz’s upbringing was probably extremely stressful and traumatizing for him, but how many times is that said in the series, if ever? The only time I’d say the narrative is really ”on his side”, for lack of better words, is when it comes to his stress over Alvar (and in Exile when Alden almost died), but the compassion almost entirely stops there. We, as an audience, know a lot about how Keefe’s experiences negatively affected him. He does bad stuff, yeah, and other characters get mad at him, but there’s always that connection there between his stressors and his actions that the narrative emphasizes. It’s also worth noting that most of Keefe’s bad actions are misguided attempts at helping others (Like how he runs away in Unlocked to try to protect everyone.), which is sort of hammered into the reader each time he does make a mistake. For Fitz, his bad actions tend to be due to stress over what’s happening to him specifically, which is also hammered into the reader through Sophie’s frustrated-inner-monologue half of the time. (Like with the relationship drama in Legacy, for example.) If you just read the series without analyzing it much yourself, you’re likely going to dislike Fitz (unless you project onto/have a crush on him, obviously.) because that’s kind of what the narrative tells you to do, intentionally or not. If anything I just said is actually the case, which it might not be I mean I’m just one person, it could also explain why a lot of younger readers specifically tend to dislike Fitz, since they’re not really thinking as critically about what they’re reading yet. I was going to say more but I’ve already written a lot, which I’m sorry about. I just think the reason behind why Fitz is such a polarizing character is really interesting.

I think you hit it right on the nose, anon. Keefe’s trauma is much more highlighted as a contributor to the plot and as a defining source of his actions. There isn’t much subtlety when it comes to his Tragic Backstory. Gisela and Cassius's A+ parenting is shown so often that readers understand and forgive his rash decisions, whereas Fitz...we don't really get to hear "his side of the story" much anymore. And of course, that's not to say I'm ready to dismiss his poor coping skills entirely (just as I'm not willing to do with Keefe either).

But what younger readers tend to miss is that Fitz's bad decisions are not out of malice becuse they are not always explained on a silver platter in the text. It's so easy to write him off as selfish and narrow-minded in Legacy because of his fixation on Sophie's matchmaking, but I feel like we never addressed his pressure to uphold a several-thousand year family legacy (no pun intended), baring the responsibilites now of eldest son after Alvar effectively disowned them. If there had been more about his struggles with that weight on his shoulders, if he had gotten anything close to the Keefe Sencen Treatment in this last half of the series, his mistakes wouldn't be judged on such a double standard.

I think that's why I'm partial to the strong Alden critics (even though I'm not nearly as harsh on him myself), since they at least draw on that connection between Fitz's upbringing and his outbursts. If more of KOTLC's target audience were able to recognize the intricacies of the story and analyze Fitz past his surface-level actions, there would be a lot more sympathy for him.

[wrenhyperfixates]

Don’t Gotta Work it Out

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: A particularly nasty fight rattles your relationship with Loki. Even as both of you wonder if you’re not meant to work things out, you long to be in each other’s arms. But can you make amenjds before your hope is gone? Warnings: mentions of depression; angst, some more angst, then a lot more angst, and finally a fluffy ending A/N: inspired by the song Don’t Gotta Work it Out by Fitz and the Tantrums. I’m experimenting with a new style, so flashbacks in italics! Hope you enjoy :)

Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant @lunarmoon8​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​ @lokistan​ @lowkeyorlokificrecs​ @gaitwae​ @whatafuckingdumbass​ @castiels-majestic-wings​ @kozkaboi​ @cozy-the-overlord​ @birdgirl90​ @myraiswack​

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

Loki had signed himself up for the mission before the words even left Tony’s mouth. He didn’t care where he was going or what he was doing, just so long as he was away from you. You’d gotten into a fight—a bad one. Somehow, Loki’s way of dealing with it was running away. Whether that was because of pride, pettiness, or cowardice, he wasn’t really sure. Then again, he was avoiding thinking about it as much as possible.

“I have volunteered for a mission,” he told you, the sentence short and clipped as he entered your shared quarters. “I leave at midnight.”

“Oh,” you replied, rolling over on your bed so you were facing your boyfriend. He’d already grabbed his bag and started packing. “That’s nice.”

A small hum of acknowledgement was all he made in the way of a response. He perched on the edge of the bed as he tugged on his boots. Right as he finished with the last buckle and was making ready to stand, your arms suddenly encircled his waist. For a minute, the room was filled with hesitation and quiet breathing, a spell of tension only broken when Loki’s hand alighted on top of yours. Not to say everything was fixed between you two, but the anxious energy in the room calmed a bit.

“Just... Come back safe, ok?” you said, your voice so soft, it just barely registered in his mind.

“Alright,” he whispered back. Your forehead rested in between his shoulder blades, and his thumb involuntarily began rubbing small circles on your skin. “I will.”

How Loki wished for more, for the passionate kisses that you usually shared before a mission. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen now. It might even be wrong considering how mad you were at each other, everything you’d said. Though, if it really was wrong, Loki didn’t think he much would have minded; it still would have felt good. Felt normal. Not like whatever messed up situation you were in right now.

You and the trickster god had been dating for over a year and, as any couple would, had a few squabbles. But nothing like what you’d gone through the other day. Loki shuddered now, just thinking about it. It started out stupid, as these things tend to, but turned into something much more serious. He tried to push it from his mind as you placed a featherlight kiss to the base of his neck. Then you pulled away, hugging your knees to your chest. Now it was Loki’s turn to look at you. His hand hovered above your knee for a second before he lost his nerve and let it fall to the mattress.

“I have to go now,” he said. “Take care of yourself.”

You nodded, and Loki walked to the door, looking back at you one last time. You’d already rolled over so your back was to him again, but he could tell you were crying from the way you were breathing. It made his heart break, but all he could do was whisper a small “I love you” and hope you heard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oh. You’re awake,” you said, entering your quarters.

“I am,” Loki replied, staring at the fire crackling in the hearth. There was an open book in his lap, and you couldn’t help but wonder how long ago he’d given up on reading in favor of a contemplative trance, looking at the flames. “And you are home now. Are we all caught up?”

“Ok, it’s past someone’s bedtime,” you answered him, catching on to the ice in his voice. “And no, we’re not all caught up. What’s wrong?”

“You could have invited me.”

You’d gone bowling with roughly half the team, only leaving a note for Loki so he knew where you were. You huffed as you tossed your keys onto the dresser. Leaning back on it, you surveyed his face, set in a harsh manner.

“Sorry,” you shrugged. “You were in the shower, and I knew you wouldn’t want to come, anyway.”

“And what if I did?”

“Then, sorry again. You can come next time.”

“Oh, can I now?”

You pushed off the dresser and walked over to him, rubbing his shoulders a little. He didn’t shake you off, but he didn’t relax at all either. You frowned and walked around to the front of the chair, planting yourself in his lap. His arms instinctively wrapped around you, but his face was still stuck in a scowl.

“What’s this really about?” you asked, resting your head on his shoulder.

“It hardly matters.”

You clenched your jaw a bit. You love Loki, but it’s hard to deal with him when he gets like this.

“If you’re going to brush it off,” you said, forcing a smile, “then don’t act so obviously upset and angry. I’m always here to talk, but if you’re not going to, then don’t pick a fight.”

“It seems to me you are the one picking a fight.”

“Yeah, ok. Whatever,” you snapped, standing up. You waited for him to clench his fists or give some sign he was feeling something, but he was as unreadable as ever. “I’ll just never have fun without you. Sound good?”

“You are blowing this out of proportion, darling,” he drawled. “You can calm down.”

“Oh, can I now?” you answered with a smug smile, the petty parts of you egging you on to parrot back his words from earlier.

He sprung up from his chair and approached you fast as lightning. It startled you, and you gasped, walking until your back was against the wall. Loki menaced over you, placing one hand next to your head. He made sure to leave the other side open so you could get away if you really wanted to. You didn’t, instead staring defiantly into his eyes.

“You should,” he growled. “Just invite me next time and drop this nonsense.”

“Wow,” you scoffed, crossing your arms as he made to spin away from you. “Just because no one’s ever cared to listen to you before doesn’t mean you get to make yourself a martyr.”

Your hands immediately flew to your mouth. Loki had shared everything about his past with you. Really and truly, every painful memory. Every ugly, gritty moment. You knew how much stuff like that damaged him. He spun back around, rage plain on his face, and a deep hurt lurking behind his eyes.

“Loki, I’m so sorry,” you said, rushing toward him. “I didn’t mean-”

He put up a hand to stop both your words and approach. “No. I think you did. It is my fault for believing a mortal of all beings could have any depth of understanding, of feeling. For thinking you could love me. The joke is on me, I suppose, hmm?”

He scoffed and stalked toward the door, refusing to let you see the tears in his eyes. He was yanking on the knob before you could even say his name again. The last thing he saw before slamming the door behind him was you crumpling on the ground in a sobbing mess. As he stomped down the hall, his own tears began to pour.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Loki, are you even trying to sleep?” Bruce asked from across the hotel room.

Tony had taken a room for himself and stuck Bruce and Loki together in an adjoining one. Thankfully, it had two beds, but Loki was still a little pissed. Honestly, he’d considered just skipping the hotel and going on a walk, a long walk. Instead, he was laying with his eyes open and glued to the ceiling, reliving the fight in his mind over and over again.

“Yes, Banner, I am,” the god huffed. “I am just not having any success.”

“Is there... something on your mind?” Bruce hesitantly asked. He and Loki were far from best friends, but he figured it would be considerate to ask.

“Actually, there is,” he sighed.

“Do you, uh, want to... talk about it?”

“Yes,” he sighed. “I suppose you are a doctor, after all.”

“Not that kind but-”

“My beloved and I have gotten into an argument, and now I am on this mission. So, we have not made up. I fear we never will.”

“Oh, come one. I’ve seen you two. How bad could it be?”

Loki sighed and sat up on the bed, recounting the story. He did his best to keep the tears out of his eyes and emotion out of his voice, and was met with far more success on the first front than the second.

“Yikes,” Bruce said when he finished. “I mean, they tried to say they didn’t mean it. And I’m sure you didn’t either. So maybe just try to talk?”

“Perhaps. Or maybe we are not supposed to work it out.”

“That’s crazy. Look at you right now; you can’t stop thinking about them.”

“And do you think they are thinking of me?”

“You know what, yeah. I do.”

Loki just mumbled his thanks and flipped onto his side so he was facing the wall now. Bruce went back to sleep, and Loki prayed that slumber would claim him. It did not, and he spent the whole night wishing for you. That he had never said those awful things. That he had never even been given the opportunity to know you, for if he didn’t, he never would have hurt you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You laid on the floor crying for hours. The notion that Loki would come back and wrap you in a hug and talk about what happened didn’t leave you be for hours. And then, all of a sudden, it did. Then you just felt empty and tired. Somehow, you managed to pick yourself up and drag yourself into bed, still in your clothes from the day. You waited another hour, still believing Loki would come back, if even just to lay beside you in the bed you shared and say nothing. When it became clear he wouldn’t, you submit to the tears still stinging the back of your eyes, and cried yourself to sleep.

Waking up the next morning, you didn’t immediately remember what had happened. You felt the empty space next to you where your boyfriend usually was. You listened for the running water of the shower that you could always hear on the mornings he wasn’t beside you. The silence was deafening.

“Loki?” you called out to the vacant room.

Only the echo of your voice answered you. Suddenly, the memory of the night before came crashing back into your mind. A strangled sob escaped your lips. You desperately looked around, frantically searching, begging, for some sort of sign that he’d returned in the night and had just left before you awakened. There was no indication that such a thing had happened.

Moving on autopilot, you found yourself in the shower. You tried to wash, but mainly just stood there and let the scalding spray run over you. Eventually, the stream turned cold as you used up the last of the warm water. You always enjoyed how plushy the towels in the Tower were, but you hardly noticed it as you dried off. Some water still dripping off you, you pulled on your robe. The mirror revealed that your eyes were still a little puffy from crying. Your pruny fingers touched the reddened skin, but you couldn’t be bothered to do anything to cover it up.

“You’re back,” you gasped, walking back out into the bedroom.

He was sitting in a chair, different from the one last night, this time actually reading the book he had. He looked so composed that it made you embarrassed by your appearance. You were sure he was just as much a mess on the inside as you were, though. At least you hoped he was.

“Mhm,” he replied. “And you are dripping on the carpet.”

You looked down where, surely enough, a small wet spot was gathering from the droplets rolling off your body. Everything was moving at half speed in your mind because of how drained you were, both physically and emotionally.

“Sorry,” you mumbled.

He didn’t even really acknowledge it as he sidestepped around you and into the bathroom. A few seconds later, you heard the shower turn on. Summoning all your strength, you managed to get dressed for the day, encasing yourself in your most comfortable clothes. You looked at the door and considered getting something to eat, but the pull of your warm blankets was too great. The bed, devoid of your lover, reminded you too much of last night, though. You grabbed the blankets off and swaddled yourself in them on the couch. You tried to shut out the world and go back to sleep. It didn’t work.

“Darling?” Loki softly called as the bathroom door opened.

You wanted to reply, you really did, but it felt like too much effort to peel your eyes open and will your voice to work. So, you listened as he padded over to where you were. He sighed and left, leaving your quarters silent once more. You didn’t even have the energy left to cry.

Roughly ten minutes later, you heard the god come back in and set something on the coffee table. The aroma of pancakes, bacon, and tea flooded your senses seconds after, and you felt your heart somehow swell and break at the same moment. Loki’s hand softly touched your cheek and caressed it so gently, it seemed he was afraid you might break.

“Sleep well, my darling,” he whispered.

Loki kissed the top of your head as gently as he had touched your cheek, his damp hair tickling your skin. He stood up and, though you couldn’t see, felt him turn and look at you once more. Then the door closed, and the strength to cry returned to your body.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Please, Steve,” you beseeched. “Just tell me where he is.”

“I’m sorry, you know I can’t.” He truly did look hurt that he had to keep this from you, especially when he noticed the tears welling in your eyes. “It’s top secret.”

You were trying to figure out where Loki was, if he was ok. You should have asked him more about the mission; he would have told you where he was going, rules be damned. But you hadn’t, so he hadn’t, and now he’d been gone for three days with no word on when he’d return. You tried his cell phone, but Steve had at least informed you that they had to turn off anything that could be tracked for the mission.

You felt so awful about what you’d said, the guilt gnawing at your heart every minute of every day, every dream of every night. If he were to die before you could work it out... you just didn’t know what you would do. Even if you never made up, you just needed him to make it back safely. Maybe you didn’t have to work it out, shouldn’t. Maybe you were a toxic poison ruining his life. Refusing to cry in front of Steve, you pushed the thought from your mind.

“But he’s my boyfriend. Doesn’t that count for something more than the rules?” you pleaded, the look of desperation in your eyes only growing.

“Sorry, but it doesn’t. Look, it would be different if you were married. What I can tell you,” he said with a sigh, and a quick glance over his shoulder, “is that he’s alive and safe.”

“Thank you,” you sniffled. “I guess that’s something, at least. When will he be back?”

“Soon, ok?”

“Ok,” you sniffled again.

You trudged over to the couch in the common room, trying to spend time someplace other than your room for the first time since the fight. Besides quick meals, you’d just been moping in your quarters. The thought crossed your mind that you were probably depressed, that you should get up and exercise or move about. Despite the knowledge of that, you couldn’t actually muster up the willpower to act on it. Instead, you flipped on the TV and pulled the blanket hanging over the back of the sofa snugly around your shoulders. The voice of Gordon Ramsey faded into background noise as you stared out the window, foolishly and fruitlessly hoping that you’d see Loki’s ship flying in.

“Monday,” Steve sighed, setting a mug of hot chocolate on a coaster for you.

“What?” you asked, slightly bewildered after abruptly being pulled from your trance.

“Don’t tell anyone I told you, but Loki’s coming back on Monday.” Steve sat beside you and comfortingly pat your back as you expressed your gratitude. “Can I give you some advice, though?”

“Please.”

“Whatever happened between you two, you can work it out. I promise.”

“I just feel so bad, Steve. I said something horrible that I never should have.” You bit your lip before continuing, nervous you were oversharing. The way your companion was sympathetically nodding his head, however, urged you on. “And then he said something awful too. And now he’s gone, and no one will even tell me where to find him. Maybe it’s a sign that we shouldn’t work it out. That we’re not right for each other.”

“Come on, that’s just the fear talking. I know sometimes the team grumbles about you guys, but it’s only because you’re so sweet together.” He waited for some sign of recognition that what he was saying was true to click on your face before continuing. “Take it from me, you don’t want to let an opportunity to pass you by; even more so when it comes to being with someone you love. You have to make the most of every moment. But you also have to be willing to work through your disagreements, even if they’re particularly bad. Heck, especially then.”

“Thanks, Steve.” You managed a smile. It was small, but it was also the first one that had made its way onto your face in nearly a week. Not only did you realize you had great friends surrounding you, but you felt a spark of hope that you could repair things with Loki. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good. Now, want to come for a training session? Take your mind off things for a bit?”

“Thanks, but no thanks. I’m still not really feeling up to it. But soon, I promise,” you added when a flash of worry danced across his face.

He gave a nod and one final friendly pat on the shoulder, then was off. You went back to staring out the window, now gently sipping on your cocoa. It was still a bit too hot, and it burnt your tongue a little. You knew you should wait until it cooled, but the pain kept you tethered to the earth instead of floating away. You also knew what Loki would say to that so, after a few more sips, you set it down to let it become a more drinkable temperature. As you waited, you let your mind be filled with thoughts of Loki, wondering if he was thinking of you too. Soon, your eyes were drooping shut, and you succumbed to dreams of happier times with your beloved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the day passed much the same, with you pretending to be asleep. Loki knew you were awake at some point, at least, to eat the food he’d brought. Otherwise, he would have flown into a panic that his little mortal was unwell. Or, more unwell than just in an emotional sense, anyway. There was one point where he saw your eyes crack open and look at him as he sat nearby, switching between reading and thinking. You didn’t say anything, though, so neither did he.

“Brother?” Thor said, knocking at the door. “Are you two in there?”

Loki rushed to the door and, opening it, shushed the God of Thunder. He gently closed the door behind him as not to wake you, thinking you may really be asleep now.

“We are, brother,” he whispered. “Why?”

“The team has not seen either of you all day. Is everything alright? Are either of you ill? Or perhaps you’re just having fun in there?” Thor playfully elbowed his brother in the ribs and suggestively wiggled his eyebrows. “Oh, and why are we whispering?”

“Because my beloved is sleeping.” Loki felt a prick of fear in his heart. Maybe he had lost the privilege of calling you his beloved. “We are ok. Relatively.”

“Relatively?”

“Yes. We... We had a fight,” Loki exhaled. “It was not pretty.”

“But you are going to work it out, right?” Thor sighed when Loki said nothing. “Oh, come on, brother. You must talk to them.”

“I will. At some point.”

With some final words of encouragement, Thor let his brother be. Loki took a deep breath and reentered his room. You were sitting up on the couch, twiddling with your thumbs, eyes cast down. He tentatively sat at the end by your feet. Elbows on his knees, he buried his head in his hands.

“Well,” he said to the floor, “are we going to talk about it?”

He felt you flinch at how angry he sounded, while he mentally kicked himself for the same reason. He peeked out from behind his hands, trying to compose himself so he could speak to you in a calm voice.

“I mean,” you said, “if that’s what you want.”

“Oh, and you do not want it?” he snapped, silently cursing himself again.

“Please,” you scoffed, “don’t do anything for my sake.”

Now you were both angry at yourselves, and completely honestly, the other too. When it became clear neither of you was going to say anything else, Loki stood to leave. He spun back around when he heard you mumble something under your breath.

“I’m sorry, darling,” he said in a too-sweet voice, making the pet name sound more like a threat or a mockery than anything else. “I did not quite get that. Would you like to speak up?”

“Yeah,” you snarled, this time loud enough for him to hear. “I said, ‘so you’re really just gonna walk out again, huh?’”

“Oh, allow me to apologize. I must have been making myself a martyr again, hmm? Was that not what you said last night? Or perhaps that was just me blowing things out of proportion again?” He looked down at you as a panic flooded every inch of your body. Loki wanted to stop, but his floodgates had been opened. “But I thought that no one cared to listen to me. Again, I do believe those are your words, not mine.”

“That’s not- I didn’t- I’m not-” you struggled to form a coherent sentence. “I didn’t mean that!”

“No? But it is what you said. Perhaps it was that ever condemning Freudian slip of the tongue? Or do you think yourself so special, mortal, that you care? For I know no one else ever has; I did not need you to tell me that,” he spat.

“You know what?” you laughed without mirth. “You’re right, this isn’t what I want.”

Loki knew he’d pushed too far. His voice grew immensely softer as he spoke again. Not in a kind way, but in a way that showed he was afraid.

“And what exactly, do you mean by ‘this’?”

“This, what we’re doing now. I don’t know what it is, but if it’s your way of talking about what’s wrong and working it out, it’s not what I want. I guess you should just go, Loki.”

Loki hated himself. No, that wasn’t strong enough. He loathed himself, utterly and completely. He slammed the door behind him, and immediately sank back against it, falling to the floor. Neither of you heard the other’s sobs over your the sound of your own.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Though Monday was only two days after Steve told you it would be the date of Loki’s arrival, it felt like years elapsed in those forty-eight hours. By some miracle that, you thought with a tiny laugh, Loki would have said was thanks to the Norns, you managed to get yourself into a presentable state. Shower? Check. Teeth brushed? Check. Eyes normal and not red from crying? As checked as it could be.

Steve had promised that he’d get Loki to go to your room straight away. You figured if you two were going to have it out again, it should be in private. Though, you were hoping it would go a great deal better than last time. You could only hope that some time and space was all the two of you would need to finally work through this.

Your breath hitched in your throat as the doorknob turned and Loki shuffled in. The door softly clicked shut behind him, and you tried to quell your worry that your conversation would end with him slamming it again. He dropped his bag at his feet, and for a second, the world stopped. You just looked at each other, both too afraid to end the moment of peace.

“I am back,” he gently said, opening his arms to you.

You took a single hesitant step forward before fully launching yourself into his arms. He caught you with surprising grace, and though he seemed unsure of himself, calmly rubbed your back.

“Can we... Can we try again?” you asked, pulling back enough so you could look into his beautiful, blue-green eyes. “The working things out, I mean. Can we try that again?”

“Yes, my darling.” The pet name had returned to something more gentle, holding the usual care and affection it did. “I’d love nothing more.”

Hand in hand, you walked toward the couch. This time you sat with bodies angling towards each other, already starting off on a high note. It made both of you feel the other was much more willing to listen to what you had to say.

“Shall I start?” he asked, cupping your cheek.

“No, I want to go first.” Your hand rested on top of his and you leaned into his touch. “If that’s alright with you?”

“It is. Please, speak your mind, my sweet.”

You took a steadying breath before you began. “Look, I’m so sorry for what I said. I was frustrated, and I lashed out. But that’s no excuse for it. I never in a million years should have said what I did. It was wrong and insensitive. And I do care for you so, so much on so, so many different levels. I’m sorry I ever made you doubt that. I will spend every day of the rest of my life reassuring you that I love you, Loki. I love you.”

“I accept your apology, and I love you, too.” A single tear rolled down his cheek, but you knew it was from happiness. After all, several tears of the same emotion had fallen down your own cheeks. “Now, it is my turn to say I am sorry. I was unreceptive, pushy, snappy, and cruel. I should not have responded in that manner, and I should have been more open to working through the problem. My insecurities got the better of me, but I promise I will try to keep them at bay. Because I have you, darling, and I love you. And I have no doubt that you do feel the same.”

“I forgive you, too, Loki. I’m ready to put this behind us if you are.”

“Absolutely I am,” he replied, smiling—really smiling—for what felt like the first time in a century. “And, if I may be so bold, I do believe we have a week’s worth of kisses to make up for.”

“The math checks out,” you giggled, leaning in. “I certainly wouldn’t be opposed if you wanted to start playing catch up now.”

“It is like you have read my mind.”

You gave him one quick peck on the lips before he pulled you flush against him and kissed you like there was no tomorrow. Maybe it was because he’d been so worried that there wouldn’t be. But, in the end, there was. Because you worked it out. Because you loved each other. Because you were two hearts connected as one in the crazy journey called life. And you’d always find a way to work through your differences. For, deep down, you both knew you were meant to be together, would always find your way back to each other. There was nothing either of you believed more, and you’d never doubt it again.

[renee-writer]

Cousins Chapter 32

AO3

She gets some looks as he leads her through the corridors of the castle. Whispers follow her as she approaches the closed door of where Loaghaire uneasily rests. Mrs. Fitz walks out, her arms folded. “Jamie lad, what have you done?” Her eyes flash to Geillis. “Bringing her here.”

“Claire requested her. The lass threatened to go get her, herself if I didn’t. I couldn’t have that.” The auld lady rolls her eyes.

“She already has you wrapped around your finger, doesn’t she lad?” He starts to answer and she waves him off. Turning to Geillis, she continues, “What did Jamie ask to do?”

Geillis stands tall despite the loathing coming off Mrs. Fitz. “He requested my help with making sure your granddaughter doesn’t have a bairn.”

The woman’s face transforms from anger to surprise. It is obvious that she hadn’t thought about that. “You can do that?”

Geillis nods. “I can try. No guarantees but.. I ken what you think of me but I want to help her, if I can. What happened tae her was horrific.”

“Aye, weel come in. She has yet to say a word since..” a deep sigh, “if you can help then.. “ Geillis nods, understanding. She wasn’t fully trusted but, they are desperate. “Jamie lad, this is no place for men. Thank you for bringing her.” He nods and bows to her before heading off. Mrs. Fitz leads Geillis into the room.

Claire sits by her. The lass is awake, staring a million miles away. “Loaghaire lass, I’m sorry. I’m here to help.” Her eyes turn to her and she is taken aback by how utterly empty they are. She walks up, squeezes Claire ‘s shoulder. The lass looks up at her with hope. She prays it is deserved. Next she walks up and lays a hand on her head. She doesn’t move. “What is Beaton saying?”

“To give her time and she will come out of it.” Mrs. Fitz replies with a sigh.

Geillis shakes her head. “She is locked in herself, in that moment. We need to bring her out of it.” She sighs herself before adding, “It will be difficult. Both for her and us.”

“What will you do?” Claire asks, picking up her cousin ‘s flaccid hand and rubbing it between her own.

“Enter her darkness. I understand why you are being so gentle with her but we need to wake her up.” Claire and Mrs. Fitz share a nervous look as Geillis takes Loaghaire’s head between her hands. “Loaghaire come back! We need you to come back and tell us who did this.” She jerks a bit at the yell before settling back into her stillness. “Now lass! You must tell us!” both other lasses jump but Loaghaire barely moves. Damn. She hates to do it but.. She let’s her face go and moves to her waist. Claire’s eyes jerk to her.

“What are you doing?”

“You sent your husband to get me. Trust me.” She waits until Claire reluctantly nods before lifting the lass’ shift. She starts to stir. She doesn’t touch her but just lifts it, watching her eyes. When she reaches her thighs, the lass’ eyes start to change, showing signs of life. She lifts a bit higher.

“No! No! Leave me be!” Her voice is harsh from misuse but clear. Geillis stops.

“There you are.” Her eyes, now full of anger, meet hers.

“You witch! Why are ye here?”

“Because you weren’t .” Her voice is harsh. She wants her to stay angry. Anger is better then wherever she was before. “You need to come back and tell them who did this.” She smirks.

“I can’t think about that.” She replies with a whine.

“You must! Do you want someone else to be attacked?”

“Not my fault.” She tries to pull the covers over her head and Claire stops her. She hates this but knows it is necessary.

“Not the rape, no but if it happens again because you are a coward..”

“I am nae coward!” She sits halfway up, glaring at the other woman, her hands fisted.

“Prove it! Tell us who did that to you.”

Her body starts to shake. Both her cousin and grandma want to help but know that what Geillis is doing, is right. “A stranger. A Redcoat.” They all look at each other. A Redcoat! As much as they loath their English overlords, they never expected one to be a rapist. Especially one who is a soldier. “He just grabbed me and threw me down. It hurt. Grammy, it hurt so bad!” She hasn’t called her Grammy since she was a wean. Mrs. Fitz comes up and wraps her arms around her. The lass weeps in her arms.

“Claire, go tell Jamie what we have found out.” She instructs her other grandchild. Besides, as a pregnant lass, she doesn’t need to be here if Geillis does some strange magic to keep Loaghaire from having a child.

After Claire leaves, Geillis turns towards Loaghaire. “I’m really sorry sweetie.” She allows herself the gentleness that she has been wanting to show. “Truly. Would you like me to make sure you don’t start a baby?”

[cavennmalore]

sorry do we mind if i just....

Everglen feels quieter. Quieter than when Alvar turned traitor and his parents barely spoke for a week.

Definitely quieter than when his dad's mind broke. It had been all screaming and shouting then.

It's a silly thought, Fitz knows. Keefe didn't even live at Everglen, not really. He had hardly visited in the last few months. Sure, they'd hail each other, Biana crowding the imparter before Fitz was finally able to shove her out of his room with a she's so annoying under his breath like the big brother he is.

Keefe would laugh. Even through the imparter, his laughter would echo through the house.

It's hard to wrap his brain around the thought that that's permanent now. Keefe would never come back for another game of tackle bramble or base quest. He would never fix his hair in Fitz's bathroom mirror again. He would never sit at their dining table, fidgeting with nerves before cracking a joke that would make Fitz's dad snort and his mom shake her head.

He would just be... gone.

And maybe Keefe had been gone for a long time. Maybe he had already stepped halfway out of Fitz's life already, in harsh words and jealous looks over blonde hair. But they were going to fix it.

They were.

Fitz knows they were.

They didn't perform well in front of an audience. They snipped and stepped over the line and made awkward attempts at cheering the other up without much success. Keefe had been better at it than Fitz; he always knew what to say, even though Fitz was the one who could literally read minds. Being an empath had suited him, made him more compassionate in a crisis, which Fitz had been so jealous of.

It also made him more sensitive.

That's probably what killed him in the end.

Fitz can't help the anger that floods him at the thought. If Keefe had just been a little tougher, a little more untouchable, a little more like his persona, then he could have lived. It's his fault, Fitz's mind shouts at him. It's Keefe's fault and Cassius's fault and Lady Gisela's fault and the Council's fault and his parents fault and the Collective's fault and Grady's fault and Dex's fault--

And of course, Fitz's fault.

What kind of person lets their best friend die?

uhm actually the real question is

how would FITZ react to keefe dying?

OH GOSH NO NO NO NO NO

What if he spirals because he can’t remember the last thing he ever said to him and oh gosh did keefe die thinking fitz didn’t care about him anymore did he die hating him did he die thinking they’d never be able to trust each other or mend their friendship again

[stellar-lune]

*KOTLC incorrect quotes*

Anyways, a long list of incorrect KOTLC quotes, feel free to use these for anything if ya want!

-

Glimmer: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

-

Fitz: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.

Fitz: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

-

Keefe, holding up his class notes: And then this doodle of a burrito because when I first read Aristotle, I thought it was pronounced like “Chipotle”.

Marella, in shock: Wait a minute, is it “Chip-o-tottle”?

-

Sophie: I wasn't hurt that badly. Elwin said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

-

Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent.

Marella: I choose to waive that right!

Marella: *screaming*

-

Brant (whoops sorry bout this one): Do not come over to my house. If the house is on fire you may knock once, if I don’t answer assume I set the fire and I want to burn to death.

-

Sophie: I would never say that my best friend is a bitch and I don’t like her. That’s not true… Biana is a bitch and I like her very much!

-

Lex, Bex, Rex: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

-

Keefe on Tuesday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.

Keefe on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!

-

Forkman, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

-

Keefe, tearing up the room: Where are they?

Keefe, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children?

Keefe: Somebody moved my E.L. Fudges, and now I am going to run away again.

-

Tam: Your existence is confusing.

Keefe: How so?

Tam: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me.

-

Sophie: I have one foot in the grave but in a kind of fun flirty way, the way one might slip on a fishnet stocking.

-

Linh: I've never encountered a problem that can't be solved by an spontaneous musical number.

-

Dex: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

-

Sophie: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Sophie, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

-

Dex, to Stina: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

-

Sophie: My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted poster makes it look.

-

Dex: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one, Wonderboy.

-

Marella: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

-

Fitz: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."

-

*out grocery shopping*

Linh: *takes a free sample twice*

Linh: Robbery and fraud. I am a Rebel (TM) .

-

Sophie: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices.

Sophie: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

-

Sophie: Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.

-

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-

Tam: No returns.

Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...

-

Dex: So, according to my university, it is, quote, “my responsibility if there is an internet outage to contact the faculty and the department.”

Dex: Now, if you’re a critical thinker like me, you might be wondering one thing.

Dex: HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO EMAIL THE DEPARTMENT?!?!?!

-

Tam: Hey, what’s the name of the other guy who lives with Tiergan?

Linh: His cats' names are Walter and Rose.

Tam: That's not what I asked.

Linh: That is all the information I have.

-

Keefe: Ro, remember when you said you weren’t going to interfere with my love life?

Ro: No, that doesn’t sound like me at all.

(alternatively, Alden)

-

Linh: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!?

Tam, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.

-

Marella: I'd roast you, but my mom says you can't burn trash.

Marella: *slow-mo walks out of the room*

-

Biana: I'm gonna get my piolet's license. I've already got a driver's license and a cosmetology license, that's two of the big five licenses.

Fitz: The big five licenses?

Biana: Driver's license, cosmetology license, pilot's license, fishing license, and… license to kill! I can't wait to get that one.

-

Dex: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.

Fitz: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Biana, do you think I have anger issues?

Biana: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

-

Keefe: So how’s the food Sophie made?

Fitz: It's great! Compliments to her.

Keefe: *goes to the kitchen*

Keefe: You're adorable.

Sophie: *blushes*

-

Biana: And now for a gay update with Linh and Marella.

Marella: Getting gayer.

Biana: Thank you, Marella.

-

Sophie: Hey, do you know the password to Keefe’s computer?

Biana: I love you, Sophie.

Sophie: Aww, that’s so swe—

Biana: No, you misunderstood, the password is "iloveyouSophie".

Sophie: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

-

Fitz: Hey, Biana, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?

Biana: Yeah.

Fitz: And you, Tam?

Tam: Umm... yes?

Fitz: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

Biana: Did he just-

-

Sophie: Do you cook?

Biana: I made a cake once.

Fitz: Yeah, it was good.

Biana: Really?

Fitz: Don’t make me lie twice, Biana.

-

Dex: Nice rock.

Keefe: Thanks, Tam gave it to me.

Tam: I threw it at you!

Keefe: Isn’t he the sweetest?

-

Juline: I just had a long talk with the triplets about hitting and now they are yelling “it’s my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence” before hitting each other.

-

Sophie: I made you all playlists!

Sophie: Tam, yours has only heavy metal and punk, and is dark like your soul.

Sophie: Keefe, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Sophie: And Biana has the ABBA Gold album.

-

Fitz: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

Biana: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

Dex: A realist sees a freight train.

Tam: The train driver sees three idiots standing on train tracks.

-

Mr. Forkle: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Biana, Keefe, & Sophie: Okay.

Mr. Forkle: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Biana: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Keefe: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.

Sophie: Bold of you to assume I can die.

-

Sophie: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Keefe: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.

Dex: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.

Marella: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

-

Biana: What’s it like being tall?

Marella: Is it nice?

Sophie: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Fitz: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

-

Stina: You have friends and I envy that.

Marella: You're welcome to share my friends.

Stina: *looks at Dex and Sophie*

Stina: I don't want those.

-

Della: Tommorrow's garbage day.

Fitz: I can't believe you made a whole day dedicated to Alvar.

-

Linh: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it.

Tam: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out.

Linh: Th-that's not how that works-

-

Marella: Do you want to know your gay name?

Linh: My... my gay name?

Marella: Yeah, it's your first name-

Linh: Haha. Very funny Marella-

Marella: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.

Linh: Oh- oh my god.

-

Glimmer: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

The Black Swan: Those are wanted posters!

-

Biana: Are you mad?

Tam: No.

Biana: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

-

Keefe: Astrology is fun because i can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Gemini and not symptoms of mental illness.

Biana: Being a Gemini is a mental illness. That’s not hate it’s just a fact.

-

Biana: *on the phone* Hey Fitz, do you know my blood type?

Fitz: Of course, it's A+.

Biana: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!

-

Fitz, to Sophie: Are you ready to commit?

Sophie: Like, a crime or a relationship?

-

Literally Anyone: Hey, aren’t you Sophie Foster?

Sophie: You a Councillor?

Literally Anyone: No.

Sophie: Then yes, I am.

-

Sophie: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway.

Stina:

Sophie: Vroom vroom, come out already.

Stina: I’m gay—

Sophie: Not what I meant, but cool.

-

Keefe: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset?

Sophie: No, I said "Keefe, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset.

-

Mr. Forkle: I’m not so sure you’re stakeout material.

Sophie: I’m a chronic insomniac, I was born for this.

-

Juline: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

-

Marella: *gets set on fire and screams in agony*

Marella: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.

-

Biana: Maybe the true treasure was friendship all along. But I hope not, because I can’t spend friendship on new clothes

-

Dex: Do you want to play 20 Questions?

Fitz: Sure!

Fitz: Whats your favorite color?

Dex, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Do you like men?

[hiswhiteknight]

Unbelievably Outlandish– Part 6

Summary:  Before starting down a new crossroads, the Reader goes onto an adventure of literary traveling. Suddenly tossed into an unbelievable story that has swept the world, The Outlander Series itself. How will a twenty first century woman survive?

Note: I own no characters, except reader, clearly this is based off the lovely book series Outlander by Diana Gabaldon and tv show. This follows more the tv show, but it’s far from accurate. I’m going to try to get better with using less proper English, but who knows maybe I’ll get into Scottish slang.

Sorry I’ve been away, I’ve been trying to get some balance and perspective. I’m hoping to come back swinging. Thanks for everyone’s supports, it makes it a real pleasure to continue to write. 

Oh, at this point is when it might start slowly deviating from the tv show. 

Pairing: Jamie Fraser x Female Reader

Words: 2300 (long!!!!)

Warning: Angst, playfulness, cursing, slow start, obviously fighting and such

Jamie was making his way towards the kitchen, thankfully you subtly slipped out, and found your way to the pair as Murtagh whispered harsh words to Jamie. You didn’t even look at Jamie, “This way,” you whispered harshly.

You led the gentleman to the space Mrs. Fitz showed you, where you were studying and trying to understand as much as you could about medicine. “Try not to hurt the man, lass, I think you’ve given him enough trouble,” Murtagh shared as he helped Jamie to the seat.

Looking him straight in the eye, stone faced, “Next time you think I’ll want your thoughts Murtagh, I’ll be sure enough ask for it.”

It was obvious he was doing his best not to growl or yell at you, “Watch yourself, she’s wee sized, but she’ll find you weak spot and have you on the ground real fast.”

“I expect minimum talking from you, sir,” you look around Murtagh to Jamie. He was biting back a smirk, “You are quite the barbarians, you know, fits and all.”

“Are men in the colonies babes, do they not know how to be a real man,” Murtagh questioned you again. Shooting him another glare, he quickly shut up, “Jamie, I’ll leave you with the woman. Best of luck.”

“Goodbye Murtagh, miss you already,” you wave at him. Jamie watched you in amazement, shaking his head at your antics. You shrug, “I think I’m growing on him.”

He still held his arm as you passed him something to drink, “Watch yourself, Deoiridh, Murtagh is a good man, but not all men are as nice as him.”

You were mixing some stuff you learned could be good for healing and inflammation, while pointing back at the door, “That man, nice? Where,” you question again.

He shook his head, “Trust me.”

“Sure,” he said.

You started to work on his face, trying to be as gentle as possible. He did do something quite honorable for a young woman, “Why did you do that, I could have handled it,” you whispered trying to focus on his face.

“I understand you are not familiar with our ways, but for an unmarried woman and a stranger,” he said while trying to make eye contact awkwardly, “like yourself, it would have brought you shame. I’m sore, but not really damaged. I would have done the same thing for the girl if you hadn’t stepped in. And the Mackenzie’s don’t much mind for outsiders getting into their affairs.”

“I don’t care what people think of me,” you answered back, “And I’m here, I exist in their affairs.”

He grabbed your hand to stop you, “I don’t know much about you Y/N, but I know I couldn’t sit and watch,” he was stopped my Mrs. Fitz coming in with somethings for Jamie.

“What you did was kindly meant lad,” she said to him, nearly crying. A part of you broke inside seeing her this upset. It melted your anger down to almost nothing. Jamie had let go of your hand, thanking Mrs. Fitz.

“Do me a favor, don’t get into any more fights. You’ve got a few days before this arm fully heals and I already have enough things to do than mend your ailments, sir,” you turn away to start cleaning up things around you.

“You seem to be quite the busy woman,” he said, standing up to look down at you.

Stopping to look up at his smirk. He was aware that his touch and close proximity was affecting your mood, “Yeah, so busy I might not be able to deal with you. If I don’t see you in two days, you should remove your bandages,” you answered him, not looking him in the eyes again.

“I’m sure I can manage,” he smirked some more. He stopped your fidgeting and avoidance maneuvers with hands by gripping your arm and forcing you to look at him, “But I’d sure not mind seeing you if you do find the time.”

A clank caught your attention, Mrs. Fitz’s granddaughter stood waiting an audience with Jamie, “Seems you have someone waiting to thank you,” you pull back from his grip.

“So it does,” he looked in her direction.

“I’ll leave you to it,” you say pulling a few things of yours into your arms. You took a step towards the entrance, before turning back to him, “Oh, by the way, your charm doesn’t work on me Jamie. I’m still plenty mad at you,” and you swung back around, hearing his chuckle from his breath.

  The way Jamie made you feel unease, an unfamiliar feeling, you found it easy to force yourself to avoid him. Jamie was right about something; you were a stranger. Collum and Dougal were both suspicious of you, so you tried to find ways to get them to trust you. You had spent some time thinking about finding a way back to the rocks, but you were far from identifying a detailed plan.

In the trying to gain trust of the community, outside of educating yourself about potential, but sketchy ways of healing people and creating medical notes for your own survival experiences with your outdoorsy brother and the military.

You gravitated to the children and the woman of the people. Often you were showing the children how to better their fighting skills and how to create weapons, especially the girls. With the women, you peaked some of the more progressive women to learn some self-defense and battle strategy, but mostly you tried to educate them in how to read people.  The one day, you made Mrs. Fitz laugh by predicting Angus tripping over the wood by the fire and deciding to drink to help his wounded pride, “Hope you’re not a witch,” she laughed.

“Mrs. Fitz, I’m just good with people. Witchcraft is something that takes much more strategy and imagination,” you grinned at her, before passing Angus another cup of mead caused Mrs. Fitz to laugh again.

Outside of trying to educate the community in swords play and self defense, you have gotten closer to Collum. He clearly was suspicious, and he relied too heavily on you when it came to medicine and healing. Often it made you think of your brother, he could heal nearly anything from anywhere. You remembered how your brother helped a puppy left in the woods to die because it’s inability to walk on its own. Some of the small gestures he did to help the puppy, like massaging its legs and back. You thought of this when Collum called you to help ease the pain of his legs. You were just lucky that what your brother taught you work. Human bodies and nakedness didn’t make you uncomfortable, especially when regarding science and medicine. It was nice to have a purpose and learn something new.

With yourself getting comfortable didn’t mean there were not difficulties. Unfortunately, that came with the unease of being a woman from the 21st century in an era of no women’s rights. You got shouted at for just wanting to wear a pair of pants. And quite a few gentlemen enjoyed the fact that you were an unmarried woman, which made you incredibly uncomfortable when they sought your affection or attention.

At this current moment, you found yourself getting ‘the lean’ from Dougal, “You seem to be finding yourself a home here.”

“Of course, but not too comfortable,” you mumbled to him, drinking some of the rhenish. You never quite got the hang of drinking, but during these uncomfortable times it was making it easier to cope.

He nodded, “Right, you’re waiting for news from your brother. Collum mentioned you tried to send word for him at the colonies.”

Looking anywhere but at him, you tried to pull yourself from this situation, “Yes, I hope to hear back from him.” You paused to choose your words wisely, “I’m going to try to get closer, excuse me.”

You sit on a bench away from the wandering eyes and whispers of the hall. Mrs. Fitz’s granddaughter sat next to me, “Hello, I’m Y/N O’Mulligain your grandmother talks very highly of you.”

She sent you a smile, leaning in to whisper back, “Laoghaire Mackenzie, I never got to thank you for trying to-.”

You stopped her with a wave, “No, no need,” you both looked towards a figure entering the hall, “That’s the man who gets all the thanks.”

“Yeah,” she gushed in a whisper, “I just wish he had eyes for me.”

Jamie made eye contact with you, making his way in your direction, “He is quite the charmer, Mr. Mactavish.” You look back at her, “He’d be stupid not to like you, you’re quite beautiful.”

Jamie interrupted your conversation by sitting in between the both of you. He greeted you both before turning his attention to the musician who started to play. You had done such a good job avoiding your feelings of hatred, annoyance, and something else with Jamie. And because Laoghaire sat next to you, you were stuck with him sitting next to you.  You leaned forward, continuing to drink your rhenish. It was quite beautiful, if only you could understand what he was saying, “Do you not like the music Miss O’Mulligian,” Jamie asked you, trying to read your facial expression.

You leaned back, “Oh no, it’s truly lovely. I just focusing on the words, wish I knew what the song was about.” There might have been other motivations to looked focused and uncomfortable, but it was mostly true.

Jamie started to explain a little about the musician when Laoghaire tried to prompt Jamie to talk to her about their past, “No, I don’t think so. Still, I wouldn’t be likely too.”

You glared at Jamie for being so dense, “But look at her now, quite the enchanting young woman,” you point to her.

He glanced at her, “Aye, she’s bonnie.”

Eventually you got quite focused on the music, sighing, and holding your hand to your face in amazement. You couldn’t quite hammer out why you were acting so strange, besides the point that you could feel the tension from Laoghaire and Jamie’s presence next to you, “That Collum’s rhenish?”

“Sure is,” than it started to hit you. It was quite easy to drink, but it was starting to get to your head, “I think this is my second, maybe my third, but I’m fairly sure my second. Would you like it,” you offered it to Jamie, trying not to laugh at the awkwardness you were feeling.

“Most people wouldn’t be standing by their second,” he took it from your hands. When the song finished, you struggled not to roar with applause and shout like you were at a hockey game. Jamie stopped you before the next song started, “Miss O’Mulligian, remember discussing the bandage it’s been bothering me, would you mind taking a look at it,” his whispered.

You leaned back in shock, “You can’t be serious, right now,” you question. He nods, “Fine, but if I never get to see this guy play again. It’s your ass Mr. Mactavish,” you mockingly say his name. You get up and make your way to your workspace, trying not to grumble with annoyance. You put most of your focus on the walk to your work area, though for some reason it was not as easy as you remember. Thankfully Jamie was leading the way, which made you remember the time he tossed you over his shoulder. Before you could complete that thought, you were there, “Let’s see it,” you point to him to have a seat on the table.

“I don’t need your help,” he grinned at you, “I thought it was best to get you back to the surgery while you can stand.”

You lean against the table, letting a laugh out, “Oh,” you answered him, “You think I’m inebriated, you might be right,” you chucked again, “I thought about jumping on your back on the way down here and making you carry me.”

“You can hold your own,” he said, stepping towards you to lean against the table with you, “But thought it’d be best to be safe.”

“Thank you,” you knew he was right and that it’d be best to get to safe place before you made a fool of yourself. You glance at him gain with your heavy eyes, “Surprised you haven’t moved the bandage.”

Sending you another smile, “Scared about what you might do.”

“Smart man,” you answered back, “While you’re here, let me look at it,” you spun to look at him. He didn’t much move, he just gazed at you as you undid his shirt. You felt like you were suddenly on fire and with the alcohol is was become harder to fight the urge and attraction to Jamie, “You should pay more mind to Laoghaire, she like you.”

“Aye, she is a nice girl,” he said as he watched you maneuver around his clothing and bandage, “Why do you mention it.”

Ignoring his questions, “It looks just about right,” you cover it up again, “I’d say in a few days you can remove all this.”

“As you say,” he took a step back, cutting a smirk away, “I didn’t realize you cared so much about my affairs Miss O’Mulligian”

You rolled your eyes and stomped a foot as you walked around the table to get your things in order before you go to sleep, “I feel for the girl Mister Mactavish. It has very little to do with you.”

He looked towards the door, then back at you, “Right lass, if that’s the case. I’ll be off. Good night Miss O’Mulligian.”

Part 7

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