#no i definitely Didn't
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there is a very lighthearted Drama going on rn between our nurse and one of the doctors in the office which involves the doctor constantly sneaking out at the end of the day bc she knows the nurse is about to give her more work to do and while i instantly thought of the cat king sneaking away from natori’s line of sight when he’s distracted i soon after realized this whole situation is more reminiscent of ama trying to get aelius to Do His Work
#wait hang on did i ever create tags for my OCs here hhhh#i don't think i did#welp#ama tbd#oh#no i definitely Didn't#aelius tbd
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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Meanwhile, on the boxed set of Twin Peaks I paid $49.99 for with the worst captioning I've seen in my life
#Twin Peaks#Terrible captioning#Shit post#I posted something oh no#The little shitpost that could#2007 Definitive Gold Box for anyone who wants to know#Mine didn't include the postcards for some dumb reason
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#bwark#pkmn leaks#can we stop labelling a bunch of devs as terrible for literally just writing mythology that didn't even make it inti the game and wasn't#supposed to be seen by the public#esp the people naming and shaming the person who wrote them like jesus christ there's literal doxxing going on rn can we be mature#and like i said last night we have our own fair share of fucked up fairy tales and folklore in the west#so this discussion is giving the vibes of ''anime is uniquely perverted unlike our pure and innocent western animation''#like why are we singling out japanese mythology here lmao#ofc you're allowed to be uncomfortable with the leaks. i am and im definitely glad they were scrapped. but can we also be mature about it#it literally is not as big or horrible on gamefreak's end as people are making it out to be#it was scrapped for a reason. it was too much for this video game for children. can we move on or are people gonna make the same unfunny#joke about it#ask to tag?
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FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT!!
Even if most people are just joking, it bothers me when other people actually think it's all due to a failed relationship when the problem is actually bigger than that. Vi getting to this point isn't because she broke up with Caitlyn. She has bigger, more difficult things going on than just a failed relationship. Adding to that the most painful factor for Vi is when she fights Jinx, which is one of the factors that really affects her. She went from being protective of her sister to "hurting" her sister. (Even though her sister Jinx brought this on herself, but anyway)
"Losing Caitlyn was the last straw, as they say"
Caitlyn was the one who got Vi out of prison, She got her out of the worst place Vi had ever been in. And Caitlyn was the last person Vi could trust and now she's gone.
I mean you can see she wasn't that miserable when she was in prison because she said herself, "The only thing that kept me going, was the thought of getting back to you." Now her sister is gone and Caitlyn is gone, the only two people left in her life. It's only natural that she would come to this point after literally losing everything.
Vi now has no hope no purpose and no one left after all the people she's lost along the way. It's really hard for Vi.
#I know Caitlyn didn't mean to leave Vi no matter what. She was definitely sad and angry.#Caitlyn always tried to do good things all the time but unfortunately most of the time things ended in tragedy like Vi 💔#vi#twitter#arcane violet#vi arcane#arcane vi#caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#jinx#jinx arcane#arcane jinx#ekko#ekko arcane#vander#vander arcane#arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane season 2#arcane season 1#league of legends#arcane netflix#piltover’s finest#caitvi#violyn#piltoversfinest#..
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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I need them to do a reboot of House but I want them to just go fucking wild with it. Everyone's gay, everyone's fucking. House, Wilson, and Cuddy are in a toxic polycule, one that definitely violates work ethics, that ends when Cuddy cheats on them with Cameron. I want it to be just as homophobic, just as ableist, just as fucked up, as the original and yet have the characters all be so fucking woke. Same episodes with the same plots but modern. I want Chase to have an onlyfans.
#shitpost#house md#malpractice md#gregory house#hate crimes md#robert chase#james wilson#lisa cuddy#hilson#idk if theirs a ship name for them#but house x wilson x cuddy#allison cameron#i didn't mention foreman#but hes there#he falls in love with Chase after accidentally finding his OF#thirteen uses Tumblr#like she has a Tumblr accent#and house definitely knows what Tumblr is#and definitely notices
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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Neil asking Andrew to shut down the goal during the game with the Bearcats, Andrew saying he won't do it for free, Neil promising him anything in a desperate bid.
Andrew immediately begins kicking ass going above and beyond to make sure the Bearcats don't score.
I wonder what he originally wanted from Neil that made him play so hard. Like my dude, Andrew, buddy, were you gonna make him promise to never wear jorts again?? What was it, what made that man become an exy god??? WHAT WAS HE GONNA ASK FOR????
#aftg#all for the game#nora sakavic#the foxhole court#neil josten#andrew minyard#andreil#I NEED TO KNOW#what was it??? why was he playin like that????#cuz he definitely didn't play that hard for expensive alcohol
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Trapped in a book this and sentient marble shenanigans that
Give me sentient 'cursed' sword Danny. Give me a tragedy broken Danny who had to choose whether to allow the observants to use him or trap him or end him and Clockwork give him another option. To hide and grieve and rest.
The Cursed Sword left in the League vaults that slides uselessly through any innocent and if you push? If you keep trying to raise it's blade against an undeserving opponent? Will bite back on it's wielder with frost and reflected fear
Gifted or found, give me Damian carefully cleaning a neglected old blade. Give me Danny waking once more to the gentle grind of a whetstone, a sliver of electric green shining in the space that shouldn't be. A magic blade that has never resonated with anyone that sings in Robin's hand, freezing over those with cruelty in their hearts
(Dealer's choice what reverts Danny back to his humanoid form. True love's kiss? Legitimately wanting to be a person again? A tricky situation where the Bats are stuck and he's left lying useless on the floor, unable to save anyone, this time of his own volition?)
(Bonus for if the first time he's wielded against the Joker Danny just. Mimick style eats him. Blade splits down the center, cavernous maw, swallows whole. Nobody realized that could happen.)
#Dead Serious#DCxDP#DPxDC#Danny Phantom#Crossover shenanigans bby#Damian al Ghul-Wayne#Damian Wayne#No I definitely didn't do Kazuha's story quest yesterday. why do u ask#It gave me Ideas#And feelings
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half fidd friday half "what if stan & ford found a cat and kept it on the stan o' war II with them"
#the cats name is stan jr btw#no ford did not agree to name her that but he didn't have any better ideas so her name is stan jr forever#also shes polydactyl :) for fun#bythe way if you've never seen a hummingbird moth look it up immediately they're soooo cute. actual definition of critter#gravity falls#gravity falls art#gravity falls fanart#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#young fiddleford#stanford filbrick pines#stanford pines#young stanford pines#ford pines#young ford pines#grunkle ford#grunkle stan#stanley pines#stan pines#sea grunks#fiddauthor#fiddleauthor#fiddlesix#fordford#ford²#fordsquared#ford^2#i need to draw stan more hes one of my favs ever
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TUMBLR LEGWND ITSDEIFNITLEY ALSO DRAWS SANDERS SIDES?!?!???
i dabble
#sanders sides#remus sanders#janus sanders#id in alt text#definitely art#(patton voice) now what did we learn#sigh. don't rewatch selfishness v selflessness + the redux and working through intrusive thoughts first thing in the morning#i couldnt find a good reference for their bottom halves and i didnt want to spend too long looking for one. so i improvised#i designed a more flashy cane for janus i just didn't want to draw it. maybe he was focused more on mobility than style. who knows#i didn't want to shade this. or like. put too much effort into this because it was a warmup#so if you see imperfections. n. nuh uh. no you don't
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ThEM
#i didn't know just how much i missed them until we got them again#the definition of platonic soulmates being silly#why does he look like a hamster#doctor who#60th anniversary#dw spoilers#tardis interior spoilers specifically#14th doctor#10th dctor#donna noble#doctor donna#david tennant#catherine tate#text post
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Little comic based on that one Changbin & Chaeryeong interaction...
If you can, please check out this metal band!!
#atla zuko#I considered making this with Aang but it didn't hit the same#The one who has seen Zuko through the worst of it and stuck is definitely Iroh#atla fanart#atla iroh#Honestly Changbin ate with this one#This is the first time I lift a pen in ages no joke#uncle iroh#atla#Spotify
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Long-Haired Obito Art Request for @lucynda ! Your ask was a bit too long for me to post so i'm answering it in this way ;D This version of Obito is like...one of the most vicious and brutal renditions of him ._.
#uchiha obito#obito uchiha#obito#uchiha#zetsu#guruguru#akatsuki#naruto#naruto shippuden#my art#fan art#long hair#tobi#i'm referring to the way Obito murked the Uchiha Clan along with Itachi that police station scene stays in my head rent-free#and how he ended Kid Itachi's teammate right in front of Itachi's eyes as described in the Novel..#like the anime didn't show the full intensity of that scene as described within the Itachi Novel Obito was literally oozing with blood lust#It definitely seems like this is one of Obito's more angrier unhinged phases to me#personally i still prefer short-hair Obito over Long-Hair 'bito because Long-Hair bito looks too much like Madara :')) and less like obito#but i still really like this version of him too!#anywhos i hope you like it!!#Thank you for the interesting Art Request~
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rage.
#welcome to today's episode of “me trying to draw 76 different emotions at once”#rage+grief???sorrow??? anguish?????#hmmmmmmm#definitely pain#and a hint of fear#no but like he's angry but there's sadness underneath you get what i'm saying#the kind of rage caused by something that left you traumatized and you just can't stop thinking about how unfair it was#like “i didn't deserve this nobody deserves this” kind of rage#well anyway#i don't even care about anatomy at this point#just let me see how much i can distort the face and still have it somewhat resemble the character#didn't mean to draw him crying again but my hand slipped oops#astarion#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 astarion#baldurs gate 3#astarion fanart
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