#no fucking wonder I've been STRUGGLING
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swampndn · 5 months ago
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It's honestly crazy how badly I (we) need human connection and intimacy.
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fyodior · 6 months ago
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i think the reason i cling to male characters so much despite being sapphic is that im like literally obsessed with the idea of a man loving me and being nice to me. something that has never occurred
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liquidchocolatecake · 6 months ago
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currently captive audience to a knock down drag out fight in my brain between desire to respect the wishes of the creator and not look for anyone redistributing the comic and god i fucking miss wonderlab i miss wonderlab so much you have no idea i want wonderlab back so bad
#project moon#wonderlab#seriously wonderlab was so fucking good that like#the entire time pre-limbus release every time we got news i would get so excited for a potential followup on wonderlab's ending#and the idea of seeing characters like taii#with amazing designs from a comic that already had some absolutely stunning imagery#drawn in a style like the absolutely fucking beautiful painterly style of ruina's character art and cgs#getting to see more of taii and the other survivors of the branch and seeing where their lives would go after that ending#seeing how the loss of so many important people would affect them and how they'd struggle in the aftermath of l corp's collapse#we already had ONE distortion in the ending of wonderlab with catt and that happened BASICALLY MOMENTS AFTER LOBCORP'S ENDING#can you IMAGINE how cool it'd be to see all of these characters#who already have experience with combat and ego and weird anomalous monsters via their work in the branch#react to and potentially figure out and adapt to the distortion phenomenon?#LITERALLY THE WHOLE CONCEPT OF LIMBUS IS GOING INTO FORMER L CORP BRANCHES#THAT'S THE SELLING POINT OF THE GAME! THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE! OF COURSE I WOULD GET EXCITED ABOUT MORE WONDERLAB STUFF!#BUT NOW WE'LL NEVER GET THAT#WE'LL NEVER SEE TAII AGAIN IN OFFICIAL MEDIA#WE'RE JUST LEFT WITH THE MEMORY OF THAT FINAL PANEL AND TAII GAZING OVER THIS STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL SURREAL LANDSCAPE#WITH PROMISES OF A JOURNEY WE'RE NO LONGER ALLOWED TO SEE#FUCK I MISS WONDERLAB#wonderlab was so fucking good that it accidentally became the cornerstone of my entire perspective on project moon's works as a whole#and now that it's gone i can't go back to lobcorp or ruina without feeling its absence like a gaping void in my chest#the only thing left in its place being the knowledge of the shitshow that was the drama surrounding project moon for a while#and the thought that maybe in a different world we would've gotten to see more#FUCK man#no joke i literally made myself cry typing this whole rant out#suddenly learning that wonderlab had been taken down was a fucking wound i have never recovered from#and i've never been able to look at ruina or limbus with the same sense of awe and wonder and curiosity ever since#just the bitter knowledge that yet another formerly beloved story and world has fallen into corporate nightmares and gacha cash grabs#i haven't been able to keep up with project moon much at all since. i don't know if anything else has happened.
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turtlespancake · 5 months ago
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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
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megid0nt · 22 days ago
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*grooving in my seat to a song in my head*
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scarlettcryptid · 3 months ago
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i feel so silly being anxious about my ENT appointment at 930 🥴
#it's a new place new doctor so obvs im stressed#but the dr being a man 🥴🥴 it was a referral so i can't choose 🥴🥴#i think i feel especially stressed bc i have 3 issues i need to talk about and im worried he's gonna get annoyed / brush them off#i've seen an ENT about 1 of these issues back in 2012 and welp my dumb ass didn't bully my parents into letting me get the surgery so#i've been struggling w this shit all this time also i meant 2013 🧍🏽‍♀️#the other issues are my jaw popping painfully ever since july +#what the hell was the other one#fuck this is why i spent 2 hours writing shit down my memory is so SHIT#throat pain#really bad throat pain that hasn't fucked off since july 2023#it hurts to talk n i haven't been able to sing since last summer. what if i just [rembers no say the thing because Bad] Shit myself#that one appointment in june when i couldn't see my usual doctor and i had to see this other lady this mfer said wELL i dUnNo It'S nOt LiKe#i CAn diAgnOsE yOu wITh a cHronIc SorE ThRoaT hEh#annoying ass doctor no wonder my usual doctor is always booked#pls universe pls let this doctor b a decent person who actually tries 2 help mee#🥴🥴🥴🥴#221am goodbye#scarlett.txt#negative /#WHINYYYYYYY#god i always worry i sound like a paranoid hypochondriac at the doctor's but my body really is like this Please#ugh i still have at least 3 more appointments at 3 new places this year#eye and dermatologist in dec and the other thing once i get off my ass and send in that packet#at least i don't have my monthly follow up w my pcp anymore..#unrelated but i need to buy some new masks in black#and a cardigan#okay that really had nothijgnto do with anything stfu scarlett
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parakeetpark · 4 months ago
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Uh oh. Essay in readmore time
What's so frustrating is that for almost all of my life I didn't know I had adhd, and only found it out 5ish years ago
During ALL of my studies i was intensely freaked out and even when i got a grip on some of my mental health shit at uni, importantly I was still unaware of the adhd. And only had some professional tell me about their suspicion about it AFTER I could have received any support in my schooling.
And I have been working damn hard over the last half a decade to learn about myself and the way I work, and be kind to myself and open minded, and learnt from many many different people with adhd how they function - especially through advice on here bc much of Google is shit, and learnt what does and doesn't work for my personally.
I slowly unravelled and found myself. To a point where I'm actually functional and content in myself.
So now i find myself in the most intense, stressful period of my life since then. Grieving and finally understanding what people meant when they spoke about grieving a very close loved one. How nothing feels real even.
And I've found myself so extremely wired from having to do a very vast array of tasks all crammed into a short space of time with a close deadline - exactly the same conditions as during my studies.......... where nothing ever helped.
Yet. In the last thirty minutes I've unwound because I instinctively KNEW what to do. I found myself following all the things i taught myself about my adhd, and now I'm like 70% more chill???? Huh?????? Noticed suddenly that I've been using my ADHD self knowledge for the past few weeks and coped remarkably well because of it.
It's shocking because imagine what i could have done if I had ANY help with my adhd EVER in my life from the adults who were supposed to notice in my entire childhood. Like HUHHHHHH, I am shocked. Imagine how I'm here as an adult using 5 years of learning adhd related advice and stuff I learnt through self awareness .... and feeling better.
SHOCKING!!!!
PS - long ass tags that immediately ramble away from my initial post and go into something positive and that made me feel fluffy inside. You've been warned
#It's so fucking aggravating#i was a self contained child and didn't display the Expected ADHD traits or what fucking ever and so i got left to rot by the system#fantastic#sighhhhh but on the bright side - i am damn PROUD of myself tonight. I've come so far#It's very hard being neurodivergent and I'm doing amazing by own like standards#btw secret lore - first time i ever said aloud that i was proud of myself was in therapy like 6 years ago#and it was indescribably hard to get to that stuttered halting sentence 'i am proud of myself'. so hard and my therapist was so clearly#over the moon for me. i still treasure that memory and the path i have taken to being kind to myself and that's why every time i say#i am proud of myself#it holds the memory of every time I've ever said it or thought it and believed it#every time i see someone do something good i make sure to say well done because I'm proud of them too :-)#i do it apparently with such conviction and sincerety that people stop and stumble sometimes aha#i think it's beautiful to help people notice when they do well. like 'oh skipped work every day until today' - well done u made it today!!#'i cooked a meal and got it the way my mother makes it after many failed attempts' - well done you must have worked so hard#'i made a important phone call' (from friend who has told me before how much they struggle w calls) - BIG WELL DONE that must have been har#It's easy to notice and pay attention to people and congratulate them for these things that may not sound Big bc 'everyone else can do it'#as they say. or they are too busy to notice they did something that took effort on their part. It's so wonderful to make a difference#and hope they can be proud of themselves too in that moment#man this took a positive turn.... this is something I've not really said before. but it is truly so joyful to congratulate people to me
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liazrad · 6 months ago
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trying to stay fed with only the money i get from art commissions is actually so fucking rough like all the business i was getting instantly died once my June sale ended. i have 8 cents left and am surviving on crackers and poptarts.
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frostryn · 9 months ago
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Realized last night that my epilepsy that seemed to onset last October has actually been happening my entire life, my family just thought it was really bad night terrors or sleep walking. And as a teenager I thought I just got stuck sometimes and also that I was being haunted by 3 ghosts and that two of them wanted to kill me. reframing_my_entire_life.exe ×͜×
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ourceliumnetwork · 7 days ago
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i really am just going to have to lean into the fact that i just really like cheese board foods and deal with that, aren't I?
#tw: eating disorder#this post brought to you by#the can of olives i put on the list last grocery run that i am having to stop myself from devouring in one go#and how well black olives pair with cream cheese on any vehicle#(it's very well btw in case you were wondering)#get some hard salamies some good cheese options some more olive varieties some pickles maybe some nuts and dried fruits#mmm#...it is not lost on me that the heavy presence of salty foods on here is probably my body's attempt to fix itself from the POTS lol#i struggle with eating around people so you'd THINK this would actually not help#but i might try and hold back some of the olives so i can have them on my plate for Upcoming Holiday Meals so i can eat with everyone...#i think it might work#cause i have zero problem with these foods to the point that i will annihilate a snack table if i don't monitor myself#and remember there are usually other people involved when the snack table layout happens#....learning this is a thing i have has not been my most fun revelation i'll be so honest with you right now#i have panic attacks if i know it's possible other people know i am even making my own plate to eat in my room alone#because then they know i'm consuming food#and it hits randomly - i'm blaming it on the holiday season right now#i don't remember if it's seasonal or not but it feels like this is something i've been struggling with all year and probably for longer#and like... it's fucked up i can't eat with people#i want to hang out i want to enjoy the meal in front of whoever made it so they see i loved it#i want to hang out and chat and have fun and watch stuff with other people#and sometimes i can figure out how to do that#but i... i got startled earlier this year with someone who was Greeting Me while i ate and i reacted poorly and i feel terrible every time#because like... i love this person i want them to feel comfortable enough to come give me a hug as soon as they're at me#i want them to know i want their presence i just...#i was eating and i... i can't let people know i eat - i'm messy i'm too fast i'm too slow i talk too much i'm not talking at all i'm eating#something weird i'm eating something normal and boring and someone is going to say something about how much is on my plate and#...and i really do in fact have an eating disorder like#i don't need a doctor to tell me that i have something wrong with my relationship to food and the consumption thereof and i'm fighting it#i'm fighting it EVERY DAMN DAY because i *know* i need to eat and i *know* i dont NEED to earn my food
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dracimexidae · 1 month ago
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I'm in pain 🫠
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panspaming · 5 months ago
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Just clocked that working in retail has given me hypervigerlence and also a constant and buzzing feeling that I must be doing something at all times
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thegoogoomuckkk · 2 months ago
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the newlyweds -> you thought maybe your husband's insatiable appetite would cool down after the first few days of being married, but if anything, it’s getting worse -> choso kamo, kento nanami, satoru gojo, sukuna ryomen, toji fushiguro
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choso's gone this long without having sex, be prepared to make up for lost time. he isn’t super familiar with human procedures & traditions, so it wasn’t necessarily his intent to wait until marriage. he didn’t even really know what sex was until he started dating you, & you didn’t want to push him into something he wasn’t comfortable with. regardless, your first time is on your wedding night. . .& your second time, & third time, & fourth. . .& so on. 
you remember faintly the first time you kissed choso, him saying that he would be happily content to kiss you & kiss you for the rest of his life. & he would’ve been, but he was too far gone know, eyes rolling back, body unable to process the immense pleasure of your cunt wrapped around him. 
his hands gripped your hips with a desperate intensity as he moved within you, each thrust sending waves of ecstasy through your joined bodies. choso's normally composed demeanor had completely unraveled, replaced by raw need & desire.
you ran your fingers through his long dark hair, marveling at how undone he had become. his lips found yours in a searing kiss, muffling the moans that escaped unbidden from both of your throats.
"never," he gasped against your mouth, his voice husky with passion. "never knew. . .never knew it could be like this. didn’t know it was this good."
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nanami was not typically a risk taker in any form, especially when it came to his wife, but he couldn’t bear to be away from you that long. his work had not allowed him to take off as much time as he would’ve liked. his first few days back were pure torture. he focused on nothing else but the mental image of your tits bouncing as you rode him, or the way your cunt sucked in his fingers each night before he stuffed you full of his cock, or the sound of your melodious voice begging him, telling how good it was. 
so here he was, bending you over his mahogany desk (the blinds shut of course, he wasn’t that risky) wondering how he ever lived without you, without fucking you. sex had been on his mind so infrequently before you. he stroked himself off maybe once a month, or sometimes when he was drunk. but now, he had a hard time going any significant period of time without being balls deep in your sweet cunt. seeing that wedding ring on your finger, gripping onto the wood of his desk, does not help matters in the slightest. 
nanami's fingers dug into your hips as he thrust into you from behind, each movement sending shockwaves of pleasure through your bodies. the office was filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin & your muffled moans. you bit your lip, trying to stay quiet, though it was a struggle with the way he was pounding into you.
"god, i've missed this," nanami groaned, his voice husky with desire. "missed my wife. your tight little cunt feels so good."
you whimpered in response, pushing back against him, desperate for more. his hand snaked around to rub your clit in tight circles, making your legs tremble.
"that's it, baby," he murmured. "come for me. let me feel you squeeze my cock."
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you’re entirely unsurprised by gojo's behavior. you actually don’t think there will come a time when satoru is not desperate for you at all hours of the day. he could be mid-mission, literally killing a curse, & he’ll send some corny text asking for nudes. 
"pls :( need nudes, will die without." you suppress the biggest eye roll.
your eyes are surely rolling, though, when he gets home & shows you what he’s been thinking about all day, what had him so worked up. . .thoughts about his pretty wife & her pretty pussy.
you can't help but smirk as satoru presses you against the wall, his lips hungry on your neck. his hands roam your body with urgent need, like he hasn't touched you in weeks rather than hours; it was only that morning that he’d stuffed his tongue in your cunt before dashing off to a meeting. "missed you," he murmurs between kisses. "couldn't focus all day."
“I couldn’t tell," you tease, recalling his stream of increasingly needy texts. "begging me for nudes didn’t tip me off at all."
he chuckles against your skin, the vibration sending shivers down your spine. "can you blame me? look at you."
his hands slide down to grip your hips, pulling you flush against him. you can feel how hard he is already, his desire evident through his pants. "someone's excited," you whisper, nipping at his earlobe.
satoru groans, grinding against you. "you have no idea. been thinking about this all day. about you."
he groans, pressing his hips against yours. "those pictures kept me going. but the real thing is so much fucking better."
his fingers find the hem of your shirt, sliding underneath to caress bare skin. you gasp as he cups your breast, thumb brushing over the sensitive peak.
"satoru," you breathe, melting into his touch despite your earlier exasperation. he’s gotta make it up to his poor wife for leaving her home all day long. 
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a week-long getaway to a penthouse with your new husband, suguru, had sounded like a dream, & of course it was, but you feared you weren’t making it out of this vacation without a positive pregnancy test. 
his hands gripped your hips with an intensity that would surely leave bruises, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. every thrust sent waves of ecstasy coursing through your body, leaving you gasping and clinging to him desperately. his usual composure was completely shattered, replaced by raw need and desire.
our nails digging into his back as he drove into you relentlessly. his dark eyes were wild with lust, fixed on your flushed face.
"that's it, love," he growled, his voice husky & strained. "take all of me. let me fill you up."
your body trembled, teetering on the edge of bliss. you could feel the heat of his skin, smell his intoxicating scent, hear the low groans rumbling in his chest. it was overwhelming, consuming you entirely. the intensity of his words sent a shiver down your spine. part of you wanted to resist, to remind him of your carefully laid plans—but your body betrayed you, arching into his touch & silently begging for more. his hand slid down to caress your lower abdomen, his touch gentle despite the ferocity of his thrusts. "you'll look so beautiful," he murmured. "glowing, swollen with our baby."
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you were pretty sure you’d never experienced exhaustion like this before, & yet you wouldn’t have it any other way. sukuna was practically tethered to you, night & day; you knew he exceeded the stamina of typical men, but this was setting the bar a little too high. he was breaking your poor cunt. 
"‘kuna, I c-can’t, can’t take anymore, s’too much," you’d babble each morning & each night, tears staining your pillow along with your drool, nails tearing into the sheets. you were pretty sure some of the remnants of your mascara from your wedding day still remained somewhere on your eyes, you hadn’t the time for skincare. 
"of course you can, wife. you always take me so well, like you were made for me," he purrs, chest falling over your back, pressing you into the sheets, biting the lobe of your ear, ruining you. & he was such an asshole, calling you wife, as if he cared at all for your silly little human rituals, it was just another way for him to tease you. 
"please," you gasped, not even sure what you were asking for anymore. your mind was foggy, overwhelmed by sensation.
sukuna chuckled darkly, the sound reverberating through your body. "such sweet sounds you make for me, wife. I’llnever tire of them." his hand snaked around to grip your throat, applying just enough pressure to make your head swim. you felt him swell inside you, somehow growing even larger. "one more," he growled. "give me one more, & I’ll let you rest."
his chuckle rumbled through you, low & dark, watching your hips draw back & forth to meet his. "see? your body knows what it needs," sukuna murmured, his breath hot against your neck.
his hips snapped forward relentlessly, each thrust sending jolts of pleasure-pain coursing through you. you lost track of time, lost in the sensations, in the feeling of being utterly consumed by him. when you came again, it was with a broken sob, your body trembling uncontrollably beneath him. sukuna growled in satisfaction, his own release following moments later as he buried himself deep inside you.
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toji is determined to christen every goddamn inch of your apartment. it’s practically a game to him. 
"no, toji, not on the table, we eat here," you whine, but your attempts at swatting him away as he pushes you over the counter so delicately, humping your ass, groaning into his fist. he hoped there came a point when his wife’s ass didn’t make him whiney & sex-brained like a teenager, but he doubted it. 
"please, baby," he groans, mouthing at your clothed pussy. "let me taste you. I need it."
you can't help but melt at his desperation, your resolve crumbling. with shaky hands, you push your panties to the side. toji lets out a guttural moan at the sight of your glistening folds, diving in eagerly.
his tongue laps at you hungrily, like a man starved. you cry out, gripping the edge of the table for support as your knees threaten to give way. toji's large hands grip your thighs, holding you steady as he devours you.
"fuck, you taste so good," he mumbles against your sensitive flesh. "never get enough of you."
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married men, weak at the knees for their wife :) did you like it? -> here's my masterlist -> want something more? ask me for it
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honey-on-your-tongue · 1 month ago
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heyyy I was wondering if you could do pornstar! Logan x pornstar! reader, where they're doing a scene together and Logan's being a little more gentle with her and cooing at her and calling her sweet things because she's so blissed out by him fucking her so good. (the reader hasn't been fucked that good in a while) and it ends with them going out or becoming fwb idk.
this is prob the most explicit I've requested so I totally understand if you don't wanna do it, also feel free to take your time thxx
Omg I LOVED this idea!!! I was so inspired ughhh I want this man so baaaad
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You have the perfect performance. Perfectly practiced moans, perfectly practiced expressions. You've got it all down, from the curl of your toes to the elegant arch of your back and the tilt of your head against the pillows.
You expect this new shoot to go the same. The usual age-gap thing, you innocent-looking vixen all-too-willing to let an older man fuck you.
You've never filmed with Logan before, but you've seen him around. And you've seen some of his videos.
At least he's hot and well endowed, you think as the sex scene comes up. The makeup artist fixes your makeup some and then you're sent to lie on the bed.
You can feel Logan's eyes on you as you position yourself on the bed. You glance over at him and he gives you a small grin, as if he knows something you don't.
At first, you're expecting the usual. Men that just fuck you like you're a toy and not caring for your pleasure.
But the moment Logan's hands are on you, you can tell it's going to be different.
His fingers trace your body like he's exploring precious, untouched terrain. Like he sees you.
The way he touches you and the way he looks at you like you're some precious thing has you plenty worked up.
His hand moves between your thighs, his breathing heavy. His fingers spread your folds and he groans, leaning down to lick at your entrance.
You shudder, a small gasp leaving you. You're shocked, amazed, exhilarated. Something about this is different—something about him is different.
You actually enjoy yourself. You don't have to fake anything. Every moan that leaves your lips is coerced by him and his talented tongue and fingers.
By the time the scene moves on to the actual sex, you're soaked and ready for him. And more than that, you're eager.
Logan holds your gaze as he slips his hard cock into you slowly. You gasp, he grunts.
“Fuck. So tight,” he says lowly as he starts thrusting.
He gives slow, long, deep strokes that almost feel like torture. He lets you feel every fucking inch of him with each thrust.
It feels so good that you almost forget about the cameras and the microphones and the crew that's recording and watching.
It feels so good that you allow yourself to get lost in the moment and you just feel it all.
You're moaning, hands grabbing onto his shoulders with a fierce grip as you try your best to remember the script. But no, you're too out of it. So Logan takes over.
“Yeah, baby, I know.” He chuckles as he grabs your leg and wraps it around his waist so he can fuck you deeper. “I know you like my cock in you, you ain't gotta say it.”
You whine, nails digging into his skin. “Fuck!” you squeal, words barely understandable through the mewls of ecstasy you let out.
“Such a good girl, hm? So obedient f’r me.”
You gasp, body trembling.
He smirks. “Can you say my name f’r me, darling? Hm?”
You mumble incoherently, remembering your lines from somewhere deep in your mind. You just can't say them. Literally. He's fucking you dumb.
“C'mon, baby, you can do better than that,” Logan taunts, kissing your neck. “Do better.”
You whimper, gasping, struggling to say the simple word you know he's wanting to hear.
He grabs your leg and moves it from around his waist to rest on his shoulder. He stops fucking you and lets you catch your breath. “Say it, bub.”
You meet his gaze through half-lidded eyes and say, “Daddy.” You're surprised at how hoarse your voice is. How long has he been fucking you for? It feels like it'll never be enough.
“Atta girl.” He grins, his cock twitching in you when he takes in the expression on your face. He starts fucking you again, harder and deeper this time, with more intention.
You're gasping, moaning, blubbering. And Logan fucks you harder.
You can feel that tight coil in your womb as the pleasure grows and spreads and threatens to take you over.
One of Logan's enormous hands comes down on top of your womb and he presses down. “I'm right in here. Can you feel me? Can you feel my cock so deep in this pretty cunt of yours?”
And that's it. That's all it takes for you to come on his cock. Your mind goes blank and you see stars.
Fuck the elegant arch of your back and the carefully practiced curl of your toes. Fuck the expressions you're supposed to make. You lose it. Your orgasm is messy and needy and intense and raw, and you love it.
By the time you come back to, Logan's already pulled out and come on your thighs, as per the script. He's already put on his robe and is drinking some water.
You sit up, body sore and exhausted, and the assistants are quick to help you into your robe and hand you some water.
You're still trying to get your bearings when Logan walks over to you. He smiles down at you as you sit on the edge of the bed and he holds out a piece of paper.
You take it. It has his number on it.
“’f you ever want a proper fuck again, bub, just call me up.”
---
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changeling-droneco · 4 months ago
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Hi I'm that person who made the original post about "no doesn mean no" when a small bit of the mr beast company document was leaked, well, now we have the full document (thanks rosanna) so I'm going to go over it. Please note I am not a lawyer or a business man, I'm in college for psychology, so I might misunderstand some things or make the wrong conclusion. However, if this is a document made for the average mr. beast employee, if I cannot understand it properly, then im sure some employees also struggled
First of all, the opening paragraph. Like I get it's supposed to be like, to put people at ease, but
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This is so strange? Like, first of all, this is your EMPLOYEE MANUAL, you should have run it through like, a spell check? Or had someone edit it? This is already incredibly unprofessional. Also the promising of a thousand dollars if you pass a quiz on it? It's bizarre and I'd love to see if it's an actual quiz.
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Jimmy, hun, please god get an editor for this you're already trying my patience.
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YOU SHOULD, you genuinely should, while interconnected these are all COMPLETELY different jobs, if you think you could write a separate manual for each branch you SHOULD
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I'm sure I'm about to get an answer but what the fuck is the best YOUTUBE video then? If it's not comedy, its not production, its not quality, its not look, then what the hell is left? (monetization, it's monetization)
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First of all, Jimmy, why are you using internet lingo in this, it's not a text message, this is not a place for, idc, and lol, and not capitalizing your headers correctly??? Also like I said, he's chasing trends for monetization, and also he's just wrong, there are plenty of hollywood level shows and the like on youtube. You fully admit you do not care about trends and actively rush things?
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This is just fucked??? Like of COURSE IT MATTERS??? Results based company is bullshit, your employees that worked for five weeks and failed aren't "lesser" then James, it's a structural failure! They still worked for HOURS to try and succeed?? That shows merit and loyalty??? What the fuck???
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Rosanna covers this one in her video but it's worth restating that this is FUCKED??? It's clear overwork "your job is your family" culture. Especially the use of the word obsessive? If you do not OBSESS over your work, you are considered poisonous. NO WONDER we have so many reports of employees doing things they feel is dangerous or unsafe, if they don't they're considered POISON to the company.
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The formatting in this doc continues to fucking kill me, what are you DOING man GET AN EDITOR
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This feels like such an easy fix of just...make the thumbnail after the fact? Or only make a rough draft of one first? Like if production makes a red bouncy castle instead of a yellow one, that feels like an easy fix to the thumbnail OR a communication error, and again, that's on management
A lot of the next stuff is like analytics stuff that for the most part I can't really speak on as someone who does not do any of this stuff. There are a few things though
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Which like???? what??? a lull??? what do you mean "watching a video without even realizing they are watching a video??" That doesn't scream good or even mediocre content to me. If I'm actively tuning out as I watch a video, that's bad. Especially because there have been plenty of times I've been like half way through a video i go "hey this sucks actually" and click off. They actively want their audience to not be paying attention to the video so it runs all the way through, that's kinda pathetic.
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I don't actually know if this is common or not in this industry, but as an outsider this seems INCREDIBLY micromanaging to me, to an immense degree.
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Jimmy why are you putting swears in your employee manual?? sir??? and also something about this whole thing icks me out, I don't quite have the words but the whole emphasis on "im different im special no one else can be me" just reeks of something kind of manipulative
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Why is production changing so much Jimmy??? Infinite growth is the mindset of a cancer cell Jimmy! This is incredibly unstable working conditions! Also again with the word obsession, if you take time out of your own day on your own time to watch hulu, that's seen as not being obsessed enough for the company. This is nonsensical!
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Again, this is INSANELY micromanaging, and also so fucking unhinged??? "God himself couldn't stop you from making this video on time" is NOT a healthy work mindset, things HAPPEN!!!
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In this segment he's actually talking normal things but I did just want to highlight his use of "freaken" who the hell puts that in an EMPLOYEE MANUEL
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Again with the micromanaging, and the immense pressure on employees for problems OTHER people do. While he's not fully wrong that you should be in more contact with the contractor then the example, this is too much in the other direction. How much time in the day does he think people have?!
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My kingdom for a fucking paragraph break dude, my fucking eyes. Also this is a lot of "im so great and do everything and you should do more for me and if i dont know something that's your fault" for something titled "I am not always right"
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I'm getting lazy with my highlighting, but again, the micromanaging? If you're SOOO busy, the first question should be the ideal? it's quick and makes a quick decision, while the second one meanders and meanders
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Again, Jimmy is pushing blame for HIS mistakes on OTHER PEOPLE. For again, a section called "i am not always right" hes taking NO accountability for that and just making the SAME excuses he's berating in other places.
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I can't even tell what he means here AN EDITOR JIMMY
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Autism Hell tm, PLEASE email me so I can DOUBLE CHECK IT, things in writing are SO useful
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Again the language towards "C-Players" which as mr beast has said, are the people who y'know, are NORMAL employees who DON'T live and breathe this company
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Okay first of all, a Lamborghini is like 300k so that's already A REALLY hard task, and i sure hope don't usually put typos in the tasks. SECOND of all the fact he thinks its okay to go "hey if the studio is literally on fire around you and you stop working to get the Lamborghini, you're not doing good enough" even if he claims it as a joke is NOT OKAY what the FUCK
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We've covered this before, but to reiterate this segment is named after a sexual assault reference when it could have been named ANYTHING ELSE and harasses employees and pressures them to break rules, don't do that.
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I'm not an editor, so maybe this is normal, but as someone from the outside it seems strange to put this much emphasis on dividing focus between so many videos at once.
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Jimmy, hun, are you paying extra for this? Because if I'm an editor and you want me FILMING stuff then i want to be paid more for doing TWO jobs and I probably still wont be as skilled a TRAINED CAMERA MAN
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First of all now THAT'S a type, consteatants. Also the fact they are aware that leaving contestants out in the sun is bad, why are you not doing MORE TO STOP IT BEYOND "hey maybe giving them three hours of heatstroke is bad, try only two next time"
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Don't we love favoritism, more shitty unprofessional writings, and a completely unstable work environment?
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If your people have to pull all nighters period something is wrong, and if something happens to an employees car that could have seriously hurt someone, i sure hope you care more then just "LOL FUNNY" Who's picking up the broken glass? Who's reimbursing the car owner? That one meme of "your first care should be commitment to the bit" is a MEME jimmy, it's not ACTUAL ADVICE
Ah shit I hit image limit, well, you've seen enough screenshots to know these are screenshots, we're almost done I'll put them in as quotes
"Let’s say you are tasked with finding us a castle to live in for 50 hours and while doing research you find a castle and a number to call for the owner. So you do call, and he answers. Only problem is he says he quit the castle renting business to pursue his dream of building a 100 foot tall lego catapult. You can obviously tell where i’m going with this. Ideally you’d recognize that’s badass as fuck and try to convince him to let us use it when we do find a castle. This is a bad example because it’s so obvious but if you’re doing your job right you will be doing an absurd amounts of calls and data collecting. While trying to complete your prios and prepare for the video you should always be on the lookout for new things you can bring to your creative team to inspire them. Because just like me, they don’t know what they don’t know and you can’t just say “i’m in production and i’m not very creative” because that’s literally the equivalent of saying I suck at what I do. You also need to apply this same mindset when problem solving because many people lose sight of this stuff when in the weeds. If a problem appears, always always always ask yourself if your new plan is whats best for creative, not just the easiest bandaid."
First of all it's really funny seeing all the red lines pop up, second of all this insistent blurring of everyone's job seems so strange? Again maybe this is normal, but it really feels like Jimmy wants everyone working every job, instead on focusing on what they are actually hired to do.
"What is the goal of our content?
To excite me. The goal of our content is to excite me. That may sound weird to some of you, especially if you’re new but to me it’s what’s most important. If I'm not excited to get in front of that camera and film the video, it’s just simply not going to happen."
That's fucking weirddddd, like I get that he's trying to be like "im authentic" but it always feels like a bad sign when the goal of a company is literally just "What amuses the boss" like...bad sign
"this is youtube and there are constraints. You know the video can’t be a minute so you’re obviously going to need a story to hold the viewers and there are rules to storytelling. Our audience is massive and because of that you have to be simple, for 50 million people to understand something it must be simple. Content can be anything but there is structure and rules that we must mold it into that I want to teach you about, because virality doesn’t just happen. Every frame of our videos will be seen by 10s of millions of people"
Gross
"I'd say the average MrBeast viewer is a teenage memer that likes video games."
Mr Beast is completely aware of his demographic and puts screen shots of it, he is very aware his stuff is aimed at kids, even when its about gambling or hiring people not around near minors
"I feel silly for having to write this but all the time I talk to 32 new people that have at most seen like 5 or 6 of our videos and it’s mind blowing that they don’t see a problem with that lol."
It's almost like your audience is teenage memer and that people who working here are not in fact, teenage memers.
"What you consume on social media, when you watch youtube, tv, the games you play, etc. are what I like to call your information diet.
How do you stay up to date on the latest memes? How do you know what’s going on with celebrities? What’s trending on youtube? What other creators are doing? What’s popping on tik tok? Your information diet. Consume things on a daily basis that help you write better content."
If my job as a creative writer had my boss tell me to have to see whats "popping on tik tok" as part of my job i'd quit also again, the micromanaging of someone's life as well pops up again, it's weirddd
"It’s okay for the boys to be childish
If talent wants to draw a dick on the white board in the video or do something stupid, let them. (assuming they know all the risks and arn’t missing context on why it’s not safe) People like when we are in our natural element of stupidity. Really do everything you can to empower the boys when filming and help them make content. Help them be idiots"
More favoritism
"If you’ve made it this far you are probably at least semi interested in this being your career. So I wanted to chat about it. Because if you're ambitious and want to dedicate your life to work, you picked the best company in America to do it at. I really don’t care to hoard a bunch of money and I deeply believe in rewarding the people that help this business get where it needs to be. But before I get into that, let’s talk about the future. As I write this we have 2 teams, that will grow to 4 in the next year. (and possibly 8 in the next 2 years but I can’t talk about that cause james will kill me haha). We need more leaders in the company. Weneed hard working, obsessive, coachable, intelligent, grinders that can step up and take some of these leadership spots over the next 2 years. Every single department has an opportunity for you to grow in and you’re in luck because we don’t do yearly reviews. We do whenever the fuck you want reviewes"
Lack of communication from management, and more emphasis on grinding and crunch culture, goodie, all while riddled with typos! God.
"I see a world where this company is worth billions and one day 10s of billions. And those of you that help build this will be rewarded. I want nothing more then for you to go all in, obsessive all day everyday, and become so god dam valuable this company can’t operate without you. And in return for becoming so valuable I hope to give you incredible experiences, a fun place to work, and of course, more money then you could ever dream of making at any other company."
I feel like I'm reading a fucking pyramid scheme document here, "youre so so valuable spend literally every minute of every day on this company haha" good GOD man
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sneak-a-cat · 2 years ago
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#ignore this i will be ranting in the tags :)#for like the past year or so i have been really struggling with pms stuff and only once have i gone onto the pill to try and stave it off#needless to say that went utterly shit and for about a month i was a sad hormonal mess properly barely able to get out of bed stuff#and i've been told to try a new one now#which is fucking scary because i didn't like who i was when i was on the last one and i know it changes my mood#on top of all that it was right when my exams were so i was really fucking scared#i tried to talk about this with my mum but she fucking sucked at emotional support so that was great#and now i'm on it and its not made me sad so much as affected me in weird ways#worst part is that since i'm in it rn i can't properly tell whats different about me#i dont like it#i hate being on drugs that change my mood#i don't feel like myself#i know somethign has changed and dont like it i dont i want it to stop#but i cant ebcause once your on the fucking pill you only stop at the end of the month#and my mum would be fucking dissapointed as shit in me for stopping#how the fuck do i tell her "hey yknow how you have been trying to look for a sollution to my crap pms stuff?#yeah well i want you to fuckingg stop trying to get me on different drugs that fuck with my hormones i don't fucking like those#turns out i am massively freaked out when i can't tell if i am not acting like myself due to stress or due to mystery fucking drug#oen time i fucking tried to talk to her all she said was “this worked one me and uh actually i was way worse than you so take them”#fucking wonderful#bloody so glad it worked for you do you not understand how bleedin terrifying this is to me?#i would rather have unpredictable periods where i am a proper dick while on them than not know who i am anymore#but fuck it all she doesn't seem to fucking get that#worst thing abotu this is its making me wonder how i would react to adhd meds that i've been trying to get for years#i have been aware that some people don't like themselves on them#but god fuck it i just want some of my brain to function well#please#christ sorry obviously this is public and you can read what you want#but uh if your reading this dont worry i just find it helps to write and post it
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