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I want to shake your hand because, you have successfully turned me into a Starescream simp. Iâm in love with him now đđ«
All according to the plan..
Everything Is Alright Pt 64
IDW Starscream x Reader, Soundwave x Reader
âą Wings lifting aggressively, his servos are gentle as he moves your hair away from your face. Even now, he can feel that connection with you twisting through him. Youâd passed out almost immediately and heâd been nearly unable to force himself to close the plating over his spark and sever that bond. Itâs still there, but not as intense as it has been. Itâll always be there now and itâs a comfort. âGo away,â he growls, aware of Soundwave hovering nearby, worried. Judging what heâd done even though he hasnât said a word of condemnation after.
âą Venting in exasperation, Soundwave sets an energon cube near the Seeker. Heâd mass shifted back after, mostly because Starscream had curled himself around you, denta bared and optics half mad. Spark bonded to you. At least partially. Heâs not even sure if a full bond is possible with an organic, but the fact that there was something there for a spark to even bond to? Itâs a hopeful feeling that spreads through him. âMy quarters,â he growls back, pointedly nudging the cube closer. Because the sooner the Seeker can mass shift, the better. And you need to wake up soon, because Starscreamâs mental stability hinges on you. Heâd seen enough of the SICâs thoughts to realize just how broken he is. How dangerous. But not only for the Seeker, your stillness tangles through him even though he knows youâre only sleeping. Your mind is quiet now and he misses the bright chaos of you, needs that noise in his processor.
âą Watching the communications officer pointedly drink, he canât deny his own hunger. The exhaustion though is gone for the moment. An effect of the bond? Heâs not sure. Itâs not like heâd ever expected to spark bond, heâd been bound by duty before the war and thereâd been no one he trusted that much after. Guilt twists through him as he curls an arm more tightly around you, feeling the warmth of your breath against him. Can you feel the tether between you both? Heâd bound himself more tightly to you without even asking, without giving you a choice or say. But he canât regret doing it. âWhoâd have imagined humans have a spark,â he murmurs, even though spark isnât the right word. What heâs felt has been similar, but not the same. He still remembers the warmth and light of you seeping into him, wanting to wrap himself around it and protect it.
âą Cheek resting on Starscream, you can feel the familiar hum of his spark against you and it soothes your sleepy confusion as you wake up. That sound is home and safety as you press your face against his throat and his palm slides down your back. Everything is a warm haze, as you remember what you did with Soundwave and Starscream both. It seems wrong that youâre allowed both of them, an oversight on behalf of the universe, because your greedy heart hadnât been able to choose. Starscreamâs servos cup your chin to tip your face up and his worried optics search your eyes. Youâre aware of Soundwave back to his normal size watching over you both. âHow do you feel?â Starscream asks, raspy voice barely more than a whisper as if he doesnât want Soundwave to be a part of this conversation.
âą When you open your eyes and your mind whispers through him, tension he hasnât even realized he was carrying eases. Because he had been worried the Seeker had broken you trying to steal something you hadnât been willing to give or understood you could give. Feeling the wrongness of not offering you a choice to bond, not explaining anything, just taking. He understands the impulse, but itâs still wrong. Selfish. Even if it guarantees your safety from Starscream.
âą âSleepy,â you reply, but under that, you feel good. More relaxed and happy than youâve been in a long time. Thereâs a feeling of something missing nagging at you, but you canât pin it down. Just that you want to be here in his arms, want to be close to the hum of his spark, because itâs where you belong. His servos release your chin and you lay your head back down against him, lifting a hand to press against his chassis. That hum pulls at you, coaxing and familiar. Home.
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đ» đđđĄđđ„đđ đđ'đ á”á”á”á”˹˹ᔠá”á”á”á”Êłá”á” ËŁ á”âż Êłá”á”á”á”Êł
đđȘđąđąđđ§đź ;; Headcanon. Romantic/Wholesome. SFW. Overall just Ambessa Medarda with you (Arcane). đŒ/đ ;; First Arcane fic here! I hope you guys enjoy! Might add onto this if it's really liked.
11.21.24
â Ambessa never outright claimed to be with you, but everyone knew. It was impossible to ignore the way she looked at you, how her piercing, commanding gaze always softened in your presence. The unspoken bond between you was clear, even to the most casual observer. â She was undeniably fond of you.
â Though you werenât dating, engaged, or married, the connection between you two was undeniable. You spent an absurd amount of time together, always by her side, offering her your company whether it was necessary or not.
â You werenât a servant or a subordinateâdonât get it twisted. You were much more than that. A close, trusted companion and perhaps something moreâthough Ambessa would never admit to loving you.
â Ambessa valued you too deeply to treat you as anything less than an equal, refusing to order you around or regard you as just another soldier under her command. â She called it âfondness,â never putting a more specific label on her emotions. For her, it was simpler that way. It wasnât a romantic love, nor was it sexual desire. What she desired was your presence alone. You were her calm. â For example, during her rare moments of downtime, such as lounging on a couch and indulging in fresh grapes, sheâd still ask for your company. To her, it didnât matter what she was doingâwhether doing paperwork, working out, indulging in wine, or doing absolutely nothingâyou needed to be there. Your presence was as essential to her.
â This respect and value she placed on you extended far beyond what others might have expected. Ambessa, known for her formidable strength and unshakable pride, showed refusal in indulgence. She avoided the temptations of foreign escorts or other offered pleasures, choosing instead to keep her dignity intact when you were around. She wouldnât dare lower herself in your eyes. â Instead, when on expeditions in foreign lands, she turned her attention to things she thought you might enjoy.
â During a visit to Piltover, for instance, to see her daughter, Mel Medarda, Ambessa chose not to indulge in distractions. She dismissed her guards and subordinates, deciding instead to explore the city with only you by her side. It was a quiet, intimate momentâjust the two of you walking through the bustling streets. â Mel was unsurprised to see you. She had grown accustomed to your constant presence in her motherâs life, even before her exile. In truth, Mel recognized the subtle influence you had on Ambessaâa thread of reason tying her to humanity. If you werenât there, Mel believed, a few more heads might have rolled over the years.
â And yet, you didnât seem disturbed by Ambessaâs brutality. At most, you were slightly unsettled, but you understood her. You saw the reasons behind her actions. That was enough for you.
â You accepted her for who she was, flaws and all, offering her something she rarely allowed herself: unconditional companionship â Youâve become her moral compass in a way sheâd never admit. She catches herself pausing before making decisions, wondering how youâd react or whether youâd approve. â Youâve introduced her to softer moments in life. For example, youâve convinced her to take small breaks to watch sunsets, sit by the waters, or enjoy simpler meals without grand banquets. She doesnât say it, but these are some of her favorite moments. â Because of you, she has developed a subtle patience. Where she once might have resorted to immediate, bloody solutions, she now considers alternativesâthough sheâll always default to force if her hand is forced.
â Ambessa doesnât openly show affection, but her actions speak volumes. She remembers every small detail about youâyour favorite foods, your preferred wine, the exact temperature you like your teaâand ensures they're always available wherever you go.
â She doesnât say it outright, but she makes sure you're warm in cold climates by draping her signature red cloak over your shoulders.
â Ambessa always positions herself between you and potential threats, even in mundane situations like crowded markets or political meetings. Her protective nature is subtle but unyielding, her large figure easily covering you. â Whenever she returns from a journey without you, she always brings back a small tokenâa beautifully carved trinket, a rare flower, or a piece of jewelry she claims âcaught her eyeâ
Ëąá”á”á”âż
#arcane#arcane x reader#arcane x you#arcane fanfic#arcane ambessa#ambessa medarda#ambessa medarda x reader#arcane series#fanfiction#fanfic#headcanon#wholesome#gn reader#cute#arcane season 2#arcane season two
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Arcane analysis: Jayce as the representation of the butterfly effect (or chaos theory)
Jayce is deeply connected to the idea of not defying the natural order of thingsâlife, death, and destiny.
Jayce symbolizes the idea that nature should not be forced. Ironically, the final conclusions of Singed and Viktor revolve around the belief that nature must be tamedâdefying death and emotions to help humanity towards evolution.
This ties back to Jayceâs beginning: he and his mother were caught in a snowstorm, a pure and raw manifestation of natureâs power. When the mage saved them, it was an act of defiance against this force. Jayceâs survival became the initial disruption, a living reminder that some forces are not meant to be challenged. This is why when he had touched the hexcore/arcane, Jayce had a flashback of it.
In Season 1, when Jayce was ready to give up his dream of hextech and end his own life, it showed how deeply attached he was to his creationâit defined his purpose. At that critical moment, it was Viktor who saved him. Then, in Season 2, Act I, Jayce became resolute in his mission to save Viktorâs life at any costâbecause thatâs who Jayce is: someone driven by the desire to help others.
However, neither Viktor nor Jayce should have intervened to save the other. By repeatedly saving each otherâs lives, they only escalated the already devastating butterfly effect, further destabilizing the natural order and amplifying the chaos Jayce had inadvertently unleashed.
Thatâs why, in Jayce and Viktorâs backstory, we see a butterfly. Thatâs why both the Arcane and Jayceâs weapon take the shape of a butterfly. Jayce is the origin of this butterfly effect, and Viktor is its perpetual extension, embodying the Arcane.
Jayce is the one who must put an end to this cycle, which is why now his weapon takes the form of a butterfly. But I donât think he will succeedâon the contrary, itâs already too late, because Jayceâs survival is the root cause of everything.
With his role as the Defender of Tomorrow, Jayce represents the order that emerges from chaos, and his in-game lines make this clear. Heâs done with hextech and miracles. He has seen it all and, once again, he is himself the proof that no one should defy natureâbecause doing so will only lead to chaos.
Anyway, letâs wait until tomorrow for the act III !
#arcane#arcane theory#arcane analysis#jayce arcane#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayce lol#league of legends#jayvik#caitvi#jinx arcane#my last theory until we will have all the answers i feel so sad rn
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Outgrowing Supergirl
A/N: The finale I deserved, tbh (Also on AO3)
Cat's voice kept repeating in Kara's head since Alex and Kelly's wedding.
'Ker-rah, you need to stop making excuses, and you need to decide what your course will be. Now, there is important work to be done, and I hope you'll join me. But more than that, I hope that you will choose to become your full self, because that would really be something to see. And it would be interesting because this is boring.'
Boring.
Her life had been torn to pieces a few times over, with destruction and missing on half the happenings of her own life because she was busy saving the world⊠the universe, and Cat Grant categorized it as boring.
Kara laughed to herself. She didn't know the half of it. And yet, her reluctant mentor also had some encouraging words.
'I believe in you, I always have.'
She had offered an Editor-In-Chief position.
One position she wasn't entirely sure she deserved, but as Alex said, 'That was her dream job.' Not one she expected to get, so soon. It was one she expected for when her superheroing had dwindled, and she was well into her human midlife. When her birth-date would say she was in her late forties, and she had to pretend she followed some strict regimen to look as good as she did, because the yellow sun wouldn't really let her age that much.
Her own words, also bounced in her head.
'I give speeches inspiring people to live their best lives. But she's right. I am too afraid to live my own.'
'My entire life, I've hid behind these glasses. It's gotten in the way of every job I've ever had, everything I've ever wanted to do, every relationship.'
'I think hiding who I am is the reason I couldn't pass the courage Gauntlet. I created Supergirl that night because the thought of saving my sister as myself was too terrifying.'
At that precise moment, she did thought that. but in the days since her sister's wedding, she could ponder long and wide over it. That may have been the totem's argument. But the totem didn't know about her safety. All the times people knowing her identity, put them in danger.
The totem didn't live Jeremiah having to surrender himself to work for the D.E.O to protect her. The totem didn't know about the D.E.O recruiting her sister out of college, because she was an alien. The totem didn't know about Max Lord trying to date her sister just to try and uncover Supergirl's identity. Or Rick Malverne keeping Alex hostage, so Supergirl would do his bidding. Or Haley finding out her identity, and use it to manipulate her sister and herself.
The totem didn't understand Lex Luthor capturing her niece in exchange for more power.
Or Agent Liberty kidnapping Lena to force her to reveal her identity.
That didn't happen in this reality, but it did happened to her. And she caved, of course she did. But it was dangerous. Too dangerous.
Lena's words constantly swam in her mind too, 'You've had your entire life, people telling you who you're supposed to be and that if you didn't hide your true self then the people would get hurt. I mean, it's tough to move beyond those type of core wounds.'
"It wasn't until Lillian told me the truth that I realized I haven't been living my own life. And finally, now I am. And it feels amazing." She had said, as they walked together, one next to the other.
"I don't even know what that would feel like for me. Connecting with someone as my whole self. To not be afraid to just be who I am.." Kara confessed. "It sounds like it could be empowering," Lena encouraged her.
It wasn't until days later, that she realized she'd lied to her best friend.
They were both sitting in her couch, watching The Great British Baking Show. Kara didn't even remember which season they were on.
"Are you even paying attention to the TV?" Lena asked, like reading her mind.
"No, not really," Kara sincerely admitted."I was thinking about what we talked at the wedding. About living my own life."
Lena turned to look at her instead of the TV, "You took of your glasses."
"I did. But I don't think that's the correct move for me," Kara confessed.
"Then, what is it?"
Kara sighed, "I'll accept the Editor-In-Chief job."
"You seem awfully conflicted for someone accepting her dream job," Lena frowned.
"I just need to convince Cat Grant to accept my conditions."
"Ah," Lena let out. "I see." She looked at her with a smile. "If anyone can convince her of anything, is you."
Kara was mesmerized by her. She thought about how much their life has changed, since they met. How miserable she was when Lena wasn't in her life. How unhappy she was when she had to run away from her, a lie in her lips. And how much better it was now that she knew the truth and was a willing participant of her life as a superhero.
She didn't realized she had done it, get so close to Lena she'd just had to lean in a few inches to touch her lips to hers.
"I lied at the wedding, too." Kara whispered.
"Lied about what?" Lena asked, in an equally low mumble.
"That I didn't know how it felt connecting with someone as my whole self," Kara explained. "I do know. I've always done it with you, even without the obvious. But especially in the last year." Kara paused. "And I think⊠I think you are more than my best friend."
Lena didn't move, she kept looking into Kara's eyes looking for something, and it seemingly she found it. "And what are you going to do about it?" She muttered.
"I'm going to kiss you, if that's okay with you," Kara said, finally closing the distance between their lips.
Kara could fly, and yet nothing had ever felt like kissing Lena.
"I got it," Lena announced, entering the loft.
Kara was nervous. She had managed to convince Cat Grant of it, but of course, her mentor and boss, couldn't let the dramatics go, and didn't let Kara even look at the cover of the magazine before sending it to print.
"You do look very good," her girlfriend said.
She was still over the moon about calling Lena her girlfriend, but not even that could squelch her nervousness. The kiss Lena gave her as a greeting did, though.
"Ready?" Lena asked.
"As ready as I can be."
Lena flipped the magazine in front of her, showing the cover to Kara. A picture of herself in her SuperSuit looked back at her.
'Supergirl is out, Superwoman is in.'
"She could have gone with a less cliched headline," Kara commented in a whisper.
"It's not that bad," Lena said, throwing her hands around Kara's neck, keeping her close. "But if I'm completely honest, you know Kara has always been my hero."
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My Top 15 Favourite Anime (& Donghua) Female Characters 2024
[Before I get started, I'd like to point out that making this list was quite challenging considering I have watched quite a few anime. So please don't be too offended if any of your favourites aren't included; just because they aren't here doesn't automatically mean I dislike them. Feel free to leave your constructive thoughts and own lists in the comment section since I appreciate amicable discourse. Also, I decided to use the "keep reading" feature to make it easier to scroll through the long posts on my blog, so the official list is under the cut.]
-> Honourable Mentions:
-> My Top 15:
âIf youâre helping someone and expecting something in return, youâre doing business not kindness.â Shirayuki is incredibly empathetic and emotionally aware as evidenced by her drive to ensure that the people around her feel cared for and supported. Even if it involves sacrificing her time and energy, she is always eager to help others. At times this is her greatest strengthâas it enables her to build strong connections with others. However, on occasion, this trait makes it difficult for her to establish boundaries and prioritise her own needs. This struggle is something I think we can all relate to. I greatly admire her determination, optimism, compassion and resourcefulness. Her integrity, patience and consideration for others is something I aspire to emulate in daily life. Her passion for plants is something I have in common with her.
"I won't lose to myself!" Given that she has become somewhat of a meme in the fandom, I'm sure some of you may be surprised by this, but she was one of the first female anime characters I resonated with when I was young. Although she lacks presence in the overall series, her strong-willed and independent yet easy-going and relatable personality endeared her to me. Even in stressful situations, she is renowned for her diligence, discipline, practicality, and reliability. Her character serves as a tribute to the resilience of the human spirit as well as the value of perseverance and hard work. Her fear of failure sometimes causes her to doubt herself and her capabilities which highlights the struggle we all face with balancing our concerns and our obligations. Her fighting style and character design remain one of my absolute favourites, making me annoyed that Kishimoto didnât do more with her character. Also, nejiten is my Roman Empire.
âThis is a cruel world. And yet...so beautiful....â In all honesty, I'm still miffed by the ending of Attack on Titan, which had me contemplating whether to include her on this list, but I realised that would be petty and short-sighted. Mikasa was one of the first female characters I saw who not only stood with male characters on the battlefield but also outperformed themâwhich made me look up to her. Mikasa's greatest attributes are her inner strength and innate sense of responsibility to defend her loved ones and fight for justice, as well as her intense loyalty and devotion, especially to Eren. Aside from her strength and fortitude, she also possesses compassion and gentleness towards those she cares forâwhich I admire considering many female characters in shounen anime are pressured to sacrifice these qualities to be strong and respected.
âWhy didnât I try to get to know him better?â Since Frieren is the newest character on this list, Iâm sure sheâll continue to grow on me in due time. As the protagonist of a show centred around the value of life, the importance of goodbyes and the passage of time; Frieren is an incredibly complex, multi-faceted character. Her journey to understand the depth of human relationships and emotionsâafter losing someone she failed to realise was important to herâis an incredibly touching and insightful one. Watching her experiences serves as an important lesson: to value every moment and to take the initiative to build connections with othersâwhich is something I often struggle with. Frieren is best recognised for her composed demeanour. She demonstrates qualities such as an affinity for independence, a keen sense of introspection and a preference for logical reasoningâall of which allow her to serve as a voice of reason for their group. Her sharp mind and unrelenting curiosity propel her to continually expand the limits of her knowledge, enabling her to innovatively tackle challenges from a unique viewpointâmaking her an engaging and dynamic character to watch.
âA-xian is my little brotherâŠWhen others insult him it is no small matter to me.â While often overlooked due to her immense kindness and amiable personalityâher determination, selflessness and fierce protectiveness of her loved ones are admirable. Although not a major character in MDZS, her influence over its more central characters is evident. Her lack of hesitance in sacrificing her life for her martial brother, Wei Wuxianâeven though he unintentionally contributed to her husbandâs deathâendeared me to her. Her determination to rise above her difficult upbringing and grow into a caring, mature and reliable figure is praiseworthy along with her capacity to find common ground in seemingly immutable situations. Her character design ranks among my favourites as well and complements her personality well. She taught me that despite being in a society where one is harshly rebuked or pressurised it is important to stand firm in your beliefs and desires.
âIf you must cling to something in order to yield, why not pick up that which you have tossed away and hold it in your hands anew?â While initially, she doesn't appear to be very noteworthy because of her limited role in the series, the brief time she gets presents her in a positive light and her backstory is notably well-developed even among more prominent side characters. Despite her reclusiveness; her compassion, forgiveness and humility are noteworthyâespecially when contrasted with the majority of other Heavenly Officials. Given that characters like Xie Lian and Hua Cheng respect her, while Jun Wu and Pei Ming are cautious of her proves that her strength and significance should not be undervalued. Her ascension storyâwhich earned her the moniker âThe Princess Who Slit Her Throatââis a prime example of her incredible selflessness as she willingly laid down her life to protect her family and country despite being ignored and mistreated for most of her life. She remains very grounded despite her status as the God of Rain and Agriculture and is always willing to help others, even if it means defying authority. She possesses no ill will towards those she has had disagreements with and doesn't hesitate to save them.
 "Even if it's a short life, burn hot and bright and overtake the moment. That's my way of life." Kagura is best known for her quick wit, tomboyish personality and fighting spirit which often manages to steal the spotlight in the Gintama series. She is an ardent and fierce fighter who doesn't hesitate to express her opinions. Beneath her brash exterior, she is compassionate and caring, frequently using her keen intuition and empathy when interacting with others. She often takes risks, facing challenges directly which can be seen as impulsive and abrasiveâhowever, this behaviour stems from her need for control and security amidst a chaotic world. In a sense, we all struggle to assert ourselves in difficult situations and could benefit from approaching things with a little more of Kagura's zeal. Kagura also enjoys helping others and is incredibly devoted to the people she loves. She is also not afraid to voice her opinions or act when she sees someone in need. By virtue of her strength, humour, and charm, she has not only gained popularity among fans but also established herself as an iconic figure in the shounen genre.
"If you don't hold a rose carefully, you'll get pierced by its thorns." Tsukuyo is best known for her unique fighting style, sharp wit, caustic humour, and compelling backstory which has allowed her to become a fan favourite and a key part of many serious arcs in the series. In many respects, her design and backstory serve as a parallel to that of the protagonistâGintokiâwhich adds to her depth. Furthermore, her name and personality are based on Tsukuyomi no Mikotoâthe moon god in Shinto and Japanese mythologyâaccentuating the cool aesthetic of her design. Contrasting her rough exterior, Tsukuyo is shown to have a tender side, exhibiting an innate sense of empathy and sensitivity. Although her reserved attitude often conveys an impression of aloofness and distance, this is just how she processes things and expresses concern, which is something I can identify with. Her most admirable quality is her strong sense of duty and loyalty towards her loved ones, as well as her inclination to prioritise the needs of others over her own. Although she struggles with insecurity and anxietyâleading her to hesitate and over-analyseâshe is resolute in overcoming these issues when crucial matters are at stake, which is a valuable message.
âI once believed that the road of happiness continued forever and ever into the distance. When it was destroyed, I realized for the first time that it lies upon a thin sheet of glass. And just as we were saved, there were those whose happiness that haven't yet been destroyed. So, I wanted to get stronger and protect them.â Shinobu is a multifaceted and captivating character who stands outâeven amongst Demon Slayer's eclectic castâlargely due to her distinct fighting style, striking design, tragic backstory as well as her nuanced personality and motivations. Shinobu's strongest assets are her insight, and compassion, which enable her to support those in need. She usually has a relaxed smile on her face and generally exhibits a bright, amiable, and joyful demeanour. However, it soon becomes apparent that this outward disposition is a façade masking her profound anger and relentless desire for vengeance. This dichotomy in her persona is foreshadowed by her conflicting roles in the series as a healer and a poisoner. Her desire to cater to those close to her is the primary motivation for her outward façade, which is primarily modelled after the mannerisms of her deceased older sister. Considering we all conceal certain parts of ourselves to appeal to others, this aspect of her character is very impactful and relatable. She also often struggles with feelings of inadequacy stemming from her physical limitations. However, she overcomes this obstacle by employing poison to kill demons, showcasing her resourcefulness, fortitude and tenacity. Although we all feel envious of the talents of others, Shinobu's character is a reminder that we all have our strengths and should face obstacles head-on never giving up on our objectives.
âAlthough our thoughts are changeable and difficult to understand, the actions we take donât change, no matter how much time passes.â As a consequence of her seclusion in the Yamei Palace and her mystical abilities, Jusetsu is quite enigmatic and detached. While she is often perceived as haughty and aloof due to her bluntness, impatience and lack of social experience; she is shown to have a tender and vulnerable side. She possesses an inherent sense of justice and doesn't disregard those in need, even if they have offended her in the past, which is incredibly admirable. Although her position as the Raven Consort demands her to live alone, she quickly finds herself surrounded by people, leading her to feel guilty considering her deceased predecessor remained isolated. Her heart begins to soften as she lets others in, but she often struggles to comprehend others, causing her to inadvertently offend themâwhich is something that most of us can relate to. However, she is quick to mend things once she realises her misstep and comes to learn that it's necessary to confide in those who care about you. She frequently exhibits guilt about seeing her mother die, which leads her to feel that it's preferable to be by herself than to lose anyone else. Her struggles with guilt and constant introspection not only add to her complexity as a character but also make her very relatable. To a degree, we all worry that opening our hearts to others will result in us being irrevocably hurt but constantly have to take that risk to live a fulfilling lifeâthus making Jusetsuâs journey an incredibly empowering and compelling one.
âI'll definitely overtake you, and it'll be my turn to worry about you.â Misaki is best described as bright, diligent, pragmatic, and disciplined. As the student council president, she is committed to improving her school's reputation, even if it involves challenging the expectations of her male teachers and peers. Before Misaki's father abandoned their family, she was noticeably more tender-hearted and compassionate, but she subsequently developed a bias against males based on her conviction that they were inconsiderate and unreliable. She possesses a rigid sense of justice and sets high standards for herself and everyone around her. Consequently, she often struggles with her emotions, particularly when it comes to maintaining her composure when her private life is disrupted. Misaki is particularly embarrassed about her part-time position at a Maid Cafe, believing it contradicts her strong, uncompromising image, and consequently takes great effort to establish a rigid boundary between her public image and her private life by keeping this job hidden from others. Misaki's best quality is that she never veers off course and gives her all in everything she does, inspiring others in the process. Misaki exemplifies the value of resilience and diligence when it comes to achieving one's goals because, despite facing countless hurdles, she remains committed to her ideals. Conversely, she is overly self-sacrificing and frequently overworks herself due to her inability to trust others. Through the course of the series, she learns to accept her femininity and fragility while remaining assertive and self-sufficient. As she navigates her growing romantic feelings for Usui, she learns the value of having faith in others, as well as the significance of respect, communication, and acceptance in relationships. This process of self-discovery moulds Misaki into a multifaceted character who is exemplary and relatable.
âIf history repeats itself, and moves in a circular path, then believing that whatever force is turning it is perfect, is all we can do as we move ahead. Pushed along by forces beyond our control, waiting, for the blade to be swung." Rukiaâs best attributes are her altruism, modesty, strong moral compass and sense of duty. Her journey throughout the series centres around self-acceptance and belonging. Initially, she feels worthless and out of place yet longs to be recognised and accepted. Given that she finds it difficult to reach out to others, she never expresses these desires and lives a lonely life under continual strain. After meeting Ichigo and his friends, in the World of the Living, she begins to open up but quickly backtracks after she is taken back to the Soul Society to be executed. Despite enduring tremendous hardship, she never forsakes her ideals or blames anybody elseâbut instead faces and overcomes everything alone. This demonstrates her immense fortitude, resolve and integrity. Her strength lies in the fact that her heart never fluctuates. Upon the moment of her execution, she does not display fear or regret but is instead grateful for having lived an ample life. However, this is the turning point, as she is saved by Ichigo and is thereafter rewarded for her resolve and steadfast convictions. She finally alleviates herself of the guilt and grief she had been carrying by allowing herself to rely on others for emotional support. She can now confidently confront and overcome her greatest challenges because she is certain of who she is. In this way, Rukia's character serves as an example that no matter what you are faced with, your efforts will be recognised so long as you remain resolute and virtuousâwhich is incredibly commendable and compelling.
Her enduring and incomparable bond with the seriesâ protagonist, Ichigo is one of my favourite aspects of her character and the series as a whole. Throughout the story, she is a continual source of both physical and emotional strength for him. In several respects, Rukia's character is a parallel to his as she understands Ichigo's feelings better than anyone else considering she has gone through similar experiences. The quote "The rain drags the Black Sun down, but the rain is dried by the White Moon" perfectly encapsulates their dynamicâwith Ichigo representing the former and Rukia representing the latter. Throughout the series, the rain is a potent metaphor for Ichigo's despair, while Rukia is constantly seen guiding and consoling himâeffectively drying up âthe rainâ. She acts as a "ray of light" for Ichigoâdespite her problemsâwho in turn does the same for her. Rukia's symbolism as the "White Moon" also pertains to her techniqueâspecifically her bankai, which transforms her into a veritable ice princess. This symbolism furthers her development, influence and prominence in the series.
"Before I question the gods, there are questions I should ask myself!" Yona's remarkable development from a pampered princess to a courageous warrior is precisely why she is one of the most recognised and respected shoujo heroines of all time. This development begins after her privileged and idyllic life in Hiryuu castle is upended when her beloved cousin, Soo-won, murders her father and seizes the throne. After witnessing this traumatising event, she is forced to flee the castle and is forced to adjust to a harsh and perilous life on the run. She is momentarily overcome with fear and denial thus depending entirely on her bodyguard and childhood friend Hak for protection and care. However, after recognising that the people who were sheltering her would suffer as a result of her incapacity, she began to pull herself together. Empowered by her newfound resolve, she and Hak journey across the kingdom in search of the legendary Dragon Warriors and through these fateful encounters, they cultivate a revitalized sense of purpose and camaraderie. It is on this journey that she begins to realise that her fatherâs pacifistic reign came at the cost of weakening their kingdom, leading to widespread strife and corruption. Her overwhelming guilt regarding her ignorance causes her to develop a genuine sense of responsibility towards her nation's people. With the support of her allies, she travels around the kingdom to improve the lives of the common people, having abandoned the prospect of revenge. Yona's fundamental strength is shown to derive from her emotional fortitude, compassion and capacity for forgiveness. Additionally, her adaptability, willingness to learn, and strong sense of conviction are all admirable. Although she continues to grow stronger throughout the series, she has always been incredibly kind and compassionate. She is inspiring because she demonstrates that true strength comes from within. It is her immense compassion that not only motivates her to protect her nation and change the lives of those around her but also draws people like Hak and the four dragon warriors to her. Her ability to forego her desire for vengeance in favour of forgiveness is not a show of weakness but is one of strength, selflessness and maturity. She realises that her desire for revenge is outweighed by the kingdomâs need for a radical and strong ruler like Soo-won âleading her to choose to work from the shadows to uplift the common people.
âItâs not always easy to see the good in people. In some people, you might even doubt that itâs there at all. But if you can somehow, find a way to believeâŠsometimes thatâs all it takes to help someone, to give them the strength to find the good in themselves...â âNo matter how cold it is now, spring will come again...â Tohru is best described as optimistic, hard-working, patient and open-minded. She is also modest, caring, and gentle-spirited. She constantly strives to seek out the good in everyone she encounters and is always willing to assist those in needâbearing no resentment against those who have harmed her. Her benevolent and amiable disposition effortlessly attracts people to her, making them feel accepted and valued, as demonstrated through her interactions with the zodiac members of the Sohma family. In comparison to the series' vast ensemble of colourful, quirky characters, Tohru is frequently perceived as being too perfectly kind and hence blandânonetheless, this is completely misguided. In actuality, Tohru is equally as emotionally broken and thus the Sohma family heals her heart in the same way that she heals theirs. Her character is an exemplary subversion of the typical "kind-hearted" heroine given that she faces several genuine hardships that result from her gentle and charitable nature. She is not a perfect saint, but rather a girl who prioritises the struggles of others over her own as she attempts to find her place in the world. Her greatest strengths are her immense compassion, innate empathy and sincerity. Given that she expects nothing in exchange for helping others, her generosity does not originate from a position of entitlement, which is incredibly admirable. Tohru has a strong desire to be needed by others and thus often puts the needs of others before her own. She craves validation and assurance, hoping to be acknowledged as essential and irreplaceable to those around her. In response to the terrible treatment she received from her paternal relatives, Tohru has developed the notion that she might burden those around her, so she rarely expresses her desires. Consequently, she is inclined to internalise any unpleasant emotions and feelings rather than express them externally. However, as time passes, Tohru gradually learns to be more assertive and to accept help from others. Tohru's relationship with Kyo is another facet of her personality that I find endearing. Despite having similar backstories, they have developed divergent perspectives on life. Kyo finds it hard to recognise the positive in other people, while Tohru finds it hard to perceive anything negative in them. They strike a perfect equilibrium as he teaches her that being too unselfish and not sufficiently assertive is detrimental to her well-being, while she helps him realise that there is hope in trusting others. While Kyo is not the only one who sees through Tohru's façade, he is one of the only individuals who can help her face her issues as she becomes especially transparent around Kyo, confessing all her concerns and anxieties to him. Tohru demonstrates the power of forgiveness, love and friendship and exemplifies what it means to be a good person. Her journey towards overcoming her fears and attaining true happiness through strength and determination is heartwarming and inspiring. She embodies hope and compassion in a cruel and unfair world. Her growth demonstrates that being kind is not synonymous with being powerless or meek. She demonstrates that no one is completely perfectâthat kindness is a choice rather than an innate gift, therefore we are all capable of making the effort to be kind and compassionate to others.
âIf I should die, I'd want to die of poison.â Maomao's story is kickstarted when she is kidnapped and sent to the Imperial Palace as a maidservant. Maomaoâs extensive knowledge of poisons and medicine, along with her aptitude for unravelling mysteries ensnare her into the intricate web of political intrigue despite her attempts to remain inconspicuous. She is mature, sharp-witted, composed, and pragmatic, in large part because she grasps her expendability in the Rear Palace. Being raised in the Red-Light District has shaped her into a resilient and adaptive person with a thorough awareness of society's complexities, which she uses to traverse the Rear Palace. Consequently, she has developed a highly practical and pessimistic mindset on life, centred around avoiding trouble and adjusting to her surroundingsâwhich has enabled her to tolerate circumstances that many would deem traumatic or distressing. Ironically, her insatiable curiosity, along with her strong sense of justice and empathy, frequently counterbalances her self-reservation; leading her to become involved in problems that affect others. Maomao is intrigued by poisons and medicinal plants, and she often investigates their effects on her own body. This passion is her primary motivation for her actions considering the mere prospect of savouring poison or studying a rare medicinal component kindles a fervent fire within her, resulting in a riveting shift in demeanourâwhich is naturally perceived as astonishing and insane by many characters, particularly the series' deuteragonist, Jinshi. Maomaoâs name is derived from the onomatopoeia of a catâs meow âèČâ and fittingly she is often depicted with cat ears, which act as a visual metaphor for her ardent curiosity. This feline motif, combined with her proclivity for pushing herself into risky situations and her dangerous fascination with poisons, makes her the epitome of the phrase "curiosity killed the cat". Despite her exceptional competence and charisma, Maomao is not flawless; in fact, her flaws add to her appeal. Although Maomao's distrustful and inquisitive nature makes her an excellent detective, this same qualityâcoupled with her distorted yet starkly reliable perception of human connectionsâoccasionally renders her socially inept. Maomao tends to shy away from forging strong, intimate bonds or attachments with other people, causing her to be wilfully oblivious of the obvious concern or affection others have for her, regardless of whether it is in a platonic, romantic, or professional capacity. Furthermore, she is sceptical about the notion of romance, feeling that it is more likely to cause ruination than to provide happiness. This scepticism and detachment are probably traumatic responses to being brought up in the red-light district, where someone's genuine affection alone does not guarantee that they will not discard you if needed.
Another aspect of Maomaoâs character that I find intriguing is her dynamic with Jinshi which develops gradually and is multi-faceted due to their opposing traits, social statuses, and backgrounds. Despite her pretence of indifference, Maomao's actionsâspecifically her attentiveness and concernâgradually disclose her growing interest in him. Maomao's development demonstrates her progressively becoming less closed off emotionally as she processes the intricacies of her feelings. Similarly, Jinshi had no intention of growing attached to herâas he merely wanted to capitalise on her skill set and intellect. Nevertheless, he fell for her fairly quickly, with his feelings progressing from possessive attachment to ardent, selfless love. Their partnership is defined by mutual respect, trust, and their resolve to overcome obstacles of the aristocracy together. The seriesâ willingness to address feminist themes within a historically misogynistic setting adds another layer of complexity to Maomaoâs character; since her intellect, competence, independence and boldness defy the gender expectations of the era. Even amidst the competitiveness of the Red-light district and the complex balance of power within the imperial haremâ which were settings devised to pit women against one anotherâMaomao continues to advocate for camaraderie between women. As we continue to witness women supporting and empowering each other; their enduring strength and tenacity is exemplified. Maomao's journey is thus an embodiment of progressiveness reflecting a refreshing standpoint on female empowerment. Maomao's exceptional charm and vibrancy are profoundly compelling, instilling an enduring sense of inspiration and empowerment.
[Congratulations and thank you if you made it all the way to the end. I fear I rambled too muchâŠ. oh well⊠If anyone has any suggestions on what to do next, then let me know. Otherwise, I'm just going to be working on a few asksâŠ]
#my top 15 female anime characters#maomao#kusuriya no hitorigoto#the apothecary diaries#tohru honda#fruits basket#yona of the dawn#akatsuki no yona#rukia kuchiki#bleach#misaki ayuzawa#maid sama#shoujo anime#raven of the inner palace#kokyuu no karasu#gintama#tsukuyo#kagura gintama#shinobu kocho#demon slayer#tgcf#yushi huang#jiang yanli#mxtx#mdzs#frieren#akagami no shirayukihime#mikasa ackerman#tenten naruto#anime
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Surfing is another intergral part of the tales from the set of LotR. It was mostly the hobbits and Orlando learning to surf, but apparently "everyone else" was also dragged into it...
Orlando on surfing in NZ:
"When I arrived in Wellington I wanted to find some sort of extracurricular activity we could do outside Lord of the Rings, just to keep us sane. Mountainbiking, fly by wire, anything. Everyone was going 'I don't know', so I said 'How about surfing?' Billy Boyd was into it so that day we bought boards and went down to Lyall Bay, and the guys there were like 'All right lads, nice boards', because we had pristine wetsuits and new boards that were nicely waxed, then getting into the sea and falling off, but it was great and we eventually dragged everyone else in."'
One of these "everyone else" is Viggo. Any other time, Orlando thinks Viggo can basically do anything. But apparently, he can't surf.
According to Orlando, Viggo was so disastrously bad at it, they were all banned from doing it.
Coming to New Zealand was like a rebirth. After living in London for so long, I connected with nature again. I even learned to surf there. After Viggo Mortensen injured his head while surfing one day, they banned it. But halfway through filming, I thought: "I've shot too much film for them to fire me", and I started again.
So were they really banned from surfing for a while? I never heard that before. But seems the wild boys just needed to surf anyway!
The tale doesn't really specify if Viggo only tried surfing this once, when he happened to get injured. But Peter Jackson calls him a "non-surfer" and that he was "lured" into it. How did they actually do the luring? By the promise of a too pretty, shirtless elf, I bet.
Peter Jackson told the story of how Bloom and some of the hobbit actors had lured non-surfer Viggo Mortensen into action. Mortensen had shown up for work ready for shooting in the mines of Moria with "a huge swollen face, his right eye closed like a boxer", after a knock from his surf board. "For the scene we had to always shoot from the left-hand side," Jackson said. "We had no choice."
Orlando definitely looks ready to lure filthy humans into action here. He looks positively evil right there. Up to bad things, for sure.
Billy:
âHe had the biggest black eye youâve ever seen. Initially the hobbits were worried their friend had more than a bruise. When I asked if he was alright, he said, âI donât know, am I?â And when Viggo says that, you know somethingâs wrong.â
I never realised until this very moment, that the two pics of Viggo with the surfing magazine weren't actually taken in sequence; in one his hair is dry, in the other wet, and he's wearing a cardigan or something in one and not in the other. It's funny to think someone - possibly Orlando, since it looks like it's from inside the Cuntebago - made the effort to make Viggo pose with the magazine twice.
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It's honestly crazy how badly I (we) need human connection and intimacy.
#I decide to go on ONE date with one of the most beautiful men I've ever seen after weeks of ignoring him#and I even tell him straight up that I'm going through things and not tryna do NOTHIN#and even with all that#he's so lovely#surprises me with roses#keeps forgetting to order because kept being âlost in [my] eyesâ#stays totally respectful and doesn't try to push any boundaries#and today I'm like wow#in such a good mood#even doing my hair and skin care#dancing around while cleaning my house#finally understanding this self care shit#all because had a moment of human connection#no fucking wonder I've been STRUGGLING#it's wild
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a piece for my art history class [tags for info]
#GAHRG im so normal about this one#the theme was âi am greatâ and we had to basically boost our ego while in the style of an artistic avant garde#i chose art nouveau for this piece :]#i make art because it connects me to humanity past present and future#making art is in humanity's instict. i am a result of all that people knowledge practices and moments#and that i represent with the âcosmicâ theme. its the universe#the universe loves me and i love the universe#theres a lot of symbolism as well. narcissus flowers are the most obvious#the laurel wreath and the peacock feathers represent pride and glory#theres a total of 9 white stars in the piece a number considered the âperfectâ number for being the highest digit#and some ivy at the top to bring it all together âconnectionâ#this piece ended up being very important to me. i printed it out and have it framed in my room lol#yeag#my art#illustration#digital art#artists on tumblr
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i saw a post saying boom was good bc it feels like it could be done with any doctor/companion duo and honestly that was one of the things i felt was wrong with it
#in a show with a title character that could be Literally Anyone and a companion sharing the lead that could be Literally Anyone#i value the little moments that set this duo apart from the rest. ESPECIALLY when it comes to returning writers like rtd/moff#fifteen and ruby felt a little too eleven/twelve and clara adjacent in boom. in both their dialogue and characterization#space babies also landed a little weird at first bc it lifted a bit from end of the world BUT the scenes that fifteen and ruby#had to themselves. like ruby getting covered in snot and fifteen laughing. or fifteen and ruby looking after the Space Babies#or fifteen going out of his way to save the monster bc that monster is the only one of its kind Just Like Him Fr#that stuff is so good and its also something we haven't seen from another nuwho doctor. the vulnerable bleeding-heart empathy#and a dynamic w a companion that is basically 'two troublemakers that just deeply love fun and adventure and getting into trouble together'#oh yeah and also the devil's chord was peak fiction because it touches on fifteen's renewed connection and love for humanity#and marries it to ruby being a musician and how music like any art is the expression of the human soul etc etc#WHAT MAKES A DOCTOR WHO STORY GOOD TO ME IS PARTLY HOW THE PREMISE TIES INTO THE DOCTOR AND COMPANION'S CHARACTERS#IT HAS TO FEEL LIKE IT WAS TAILOR MADE TO THEM. ELSE IT WONT LAND RIGHT TO ME#i hate the take that they should've saved wild blue yonder for a fifteen episode bc#the tension is hinged on how well the doctor/companion know each other. u have a level of it that u can ONLY get#with fourteen and donna who are two halves of a whole soul but have also spent much more time missing the other than knowing them#im not rewatching fifteen's eps rn until a week later when i can watch it w my qpp but#rn i still feel a stronger sense of fifteen and ruby's characters from all the rtd-written eps rather moffat#which like. i get that a lot of that is my personal dislike of moffat's writing style but still#dr who#15 era#dw spoilers
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ok horror didn't go through all the different hundreds and thousands of resets that dust (and killer) went through sure but like. he went through something id consider pretty similar???? because through 7 years there HAD to have been a plethora of humans falling down into horrortale like we can see the countless amount of people that died there in toriel's home or in blue snow or in grillby's or even just that first human that aliza hides behind when she first enters snowdin!!!!!!!
and (i dont really know where this rant is going i will not lie đ) horror (the prick he is) has to see all these humans he has to meet them and introduce him to all of them and at what point does it just turn into routine for him?? they all just blend into one skin colored bipedal figure and the only important part of them are their insides (which i could go on and on about how gross that probably is đđ) and how them eventually all fall to their deaths
everyone in horrortale is far too gone to particularly care anyways if aliza wasn't so smart and lucky (plot armor SMH) nobody except horror and paps would probably remember her name. and horror would only remember to add a name to the list of "spices" that are in papyrus's spaghetti and then forget it all again. it's all just an endless cycle of human falls down and eventually dies. nobody in horrortale cares enough (if the human doesnt make some sort of big event happen like how aliza stood up to undyne (i doubt snowdin monsters gaf about her b4 that aside from eating her)) and in the end theyll just turn into food again and then the cycle repeats. its kinda like a reverse dusttale (âââ) where instead of the monsters dying over and over to the human's hands it's humans dying over and over to horror's hands
and now that i've established that đ€đ time to tie the trio into this! i mean technically dusttale is a loops of both those things happening with the human killing the underground over and over and then dust killing them in the end??? so i think both dust and horror could relate to that?????
a repeated cycle of a human entering the underground and eventually dying,,,, feeling everything go back to a fixed state (literally with dust's resets and a bit more metaphorically with snowdin not caring all that much in horrortale)
having to start off disgusted with killing and then eventually learning to find enjoyment in it (likely because satisfaction of death is the only reprise from the repetitive slog and boredom that is their aus),,,,
somehow feeling guilt for everyone in their world because of what you've doomed them to by your own hands but also being over it and having grown apathetic. theyre still alive. dust sees his underground alive all the time and so does horror his underground's still (mostly) alive. but dust's underground doesnt survive longer than a few minutes now when they see eithe him or the human (so does it even count as life or is it just a barely fufilled light snuffed out) and horror practically already considers them all dead men walking and theyll all probably die one day anyway with how things are in horrortale so whats the point in even trying and doing something fufilling when everything is so so so shit??? (on dust's end this next similarity is ambiguous :3)
& also what they did to their respective papyruses and how they feel??? ik horror probably feels like shit for tricking papyrus into eating humans but he did the right thing (in his eyes. his EYE). he made the right choice to trick him even if it was bad it was the only thing he could do to help snowdin (sure as hell better than undick's choice to try and use him as cannon fodder for the core) and dust i feeeeel would have a similar thought process. papyrus shouldnt die he doesnt deserve to die but its what needs to be done. he's giving papyrus the longer end of the stick by killing him because its better than being killed by the HUMAN. he doesnt like it but he does it anyway because its what "needs" to be done!!! more similarity,,,,,,, esuaghhhh mtt parallel,,,,,,,
how many more similarities can i milk out. i dont know but anyways i doubt they'd bother talking to eachother about their feelings on this because gawddamn these guys and vulnerability!!! horror wouldn't tell a soul (especially not some freak version of him that killed everyone with some cheap excuse that it was to save them from some freaky human that dust swears he should remember but doesnt. but for the sake of this rant just pretend they dont know about eachother's lore :3) about what he did and what happened in horrortale because THATS HIS BUSINESS!!! dont stick ur head into stuff that youre not involved in PRICK he never gave permission for dust to know that
and dust wouldn't tell either because (i think!!! this part is just me fanonizing dust's reason necessary for this part of my silly horrordust rant. also obligatory "this is all my fanon interpretation of them" because i ran out of space in tags) he doesn't think horror would relate nor would be care. he's gotten too used to not telling anybody what he's doing or why or explaining himself to those he knows and loves back in dusttale so why would he even tell any of that to some random stranger with his only connection to him being that they both used to be the same person b4??
he wouldn't horror wouldn't and they both live in not so blissful ignorance about eachother and just how similar they are. or maybe they only know surface level and make up assumptions and stereotypes because they dont care enough or simply just dont have any attachment invested into eachother to want to actually think things through
TRIGLYCERCULE THIS IS TOO LONG I DIDN'T READ!!!!!! ok đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł tldr horror has many parallels and similarities with dust that would only be realized by them if they got self aware enough (which like. when is that ever happening). maybe if they cared enough and liked eachother enough they'd probably bond over their shared similarities,,,,,,,, aka by hunting down horrortale frisk
#guess what song inspired this. no need to guess it was uminaoshi by maretu#i can just imagine him saying the last chorus in the song to aliza..... getting into his feels of faint pessimistic hope of her saving them#and then he just turns around and says the probably part. to distract from the fact that he was getting into his emotions#sure you can save us. sure you'll make us happy. all because you've done nothing wrong right? probably.#ignoring the fact that the song is about a girl giving birth repeatedly with the baby dying repeatedly just so she can get it right#i think the song fits horror preeeetty well!#the coward's easy way out as an mtt fan is saying horror is different from killer and dust#but the chad alpha mtt fan would say theyre all similar to eachother#is horror REALLY that different from dust and killer??? IS HE?????? not particularly#mtt all peak because they all connect with eachother SO well TRUST TRUST#i had this thought under hrkl mentality but maybe it could apply to all of the trio but#horror and dust have killed countless humans. i probably need to touch up my smthnew lore but killer only 1 (chara)#and bc he hasnt done much in the human factor of murder he might ask hrdt about it to see what its like#and maybe imagine it was chara he was killing perchance who knows maybe he'll project their experiences onto himself#imagine all the different ways he would've killed chara if he didn't have one risky shot to end them there#and its all thanks to horrordust's insightful experiences! thanks fellas!#again this is under the assumption that killer's only killed ONE human#but (again) since hrdt are desensitized to blood and gore and guts and stuff#and killer hasnt. would he be like. gore sensitive. cannot handle the sight of human death#he can handle monster dust sure fine! can he handle seeing acids and blood and organs spill out of a body#it remind him of chara and when he killed them. it was cathartic. but also he killed THEM. it was a conflicting moment#maybe a part of him would like it maybe a part of him wouldnt. both for the same reason that it reminds him of them#that last sentence is intriguing i should ponder that more. mtt hunt down ht frisk when and how and why and what lead up to it and#this is what my horror analysis google doc looks like. disgustingly long and rambling paragraphs#tricule analysis#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au
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The first kiss đ
In the hours that followed the meeting at the 8-Bit Pizza Bar, the news of John being alive reached everyoneâs ears in Hope County⊠including Josephâs who contacted the Junior Deputy the instant he knew, late in the evening, and requested to see the little brother he thought he had lost. He and Taylor agreed on a truce and that he would visit them the next day. Approximately 24 hours later, she anxiously drove to his compound to pick him up, but his calm demeanor and the fact he apparently trusted her enough to get into her car alone surprised her. When Joseph was finally reunited with John (who had insisted he needed a shirt for the occasion), he hugged him tightly, and Taylor decided to wait outside so they could talk in private in the small bunker she now called home. The Father came out of it moments later, visibly relieved, and told her John would only return to his Family the next morning because there was âno rushâ and, that way, they could âsort everything outâ.
The Deputy was a bit confused but, as it happened, âsort everything outâ they did.
I had 11 âoldâ drawings to post and this is the 6th one; Iâm getting there! My computer says this file is exactly one year old today :)
#pov: youâre peaches and realize itâs very likely that the humans are done petting you for the night#(they only kissed by the way you know the cult has rules)#in fact it was john who made the first move#3 seconds earlier taylor was sitting on the other side of the couch#he tried to touch her hand while she wasnât looking#but she was so surprised she reflexively removed it#when she met johnâs gaze he quickly lowered it and withdrew his hand as well#she realized she had accidentally made things awkward and that she actually wasnât opposed to him touching her at all#so her next move was this#john seed x deputy#taylor rook#my deputy#john seed#far cry 5#adelaide and joseph: *shipped john and taylor before they even realized they had feelings for each other*#joseph because he knew john needed love and that she could save him#and adelaide because... sheâs adelaide haha#also they both perceived their connection the moment they saw them together#all they needed was a nudge and a few more hours#story: 'that fic Iâll never write'#my art#fan art#traditional art#digital coloring#I still like how the couch looks
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i really do enjoy nahida sooo much conceptually shes 100% my favorite archon i just wish she wasnt the lolibait oneeeeeeeeee
#LIKE MANNNNNNN#her depiction as a child isnt even bad in of itself its actually so thematically coherent &strong given her status as the goddess of wisdom#& how it works to subvert the cultural expectation of what intelligence is expected to look like in the first place#so much of her as a character subverts what a god is ''supposed'' to be what with her existing as a counterpart to#rukkhadevata who is in essence everyone's ideal version of a god#despite the fact that rukkhadevata has long been dead & the idea of her as a god is basically no longer attainable#nahida is a god who was neglected entirely By humanity a god who was forcibly isolated for so so many years#AND LIKE OUGHHH THE THING ABOUT HER WRT ISOLATION VERSUS CONNECTION#because wisdom is all about connection & community & linking each other hand in hand#and this is emulated literally all throughout nahidas Entire character right down to how her kit functions#these unspeakable voids that exist between people the way people isolate themselves#& nahida and her entire deal basically acting as a bridge between that#a facilitator for kindness and understanding#whether its through dreams or the Very Literally Mind Reading & Mind Speaking Ability She Has#& all of this really coming back full circle to how she was isolated and trapped in a birdcage for all those years#with nothing But those fragile connections keeping her attached to this world#a world that had forsaken her from the very moment she was born#i just really love the concept of ''god'' less as an authoritative figure on a throne and more as this intangible connection between people#god is in the way we hold hands with one another in the way we try to understand each other despite it all#SORRY. MY RAMBLINGS
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Well, Iâm still glad that Gojo was always a character who was growing and learning at least. Heâs literally one of my favorite characters of all time now. Like, heâs never been as perfect as how the fans would make him out to be despite canonically being viewed as an absolute nuisance to everyone around him (I donât think his peers necessarily hate him but a lot of them probably hate to see him coming and the ones whoâve dealt with him long enough to consider him a friend, tolerate him and groan whenever he opens his mouth,ïżŒ too đ⊠out of love. Heâs extremely childish so there is only sm the other adults around him can take and to an extent, his students. I think the only characters in canon who adore him and their eyeâs sparkle whenever heâs around, and being a silly teacher was Yuuji and Miwa (she asked him for his autograph (heâs the most famous sorcerer in the jjk world) and when she was alone, she did a little dance in the empty hallway đ„șâŠ) from what weâve seen even though the others still care about him, too. They just find him rather annoying, which he most definitely is. And he does it on purpose. He plays too much.)
#Iâm also not usually one to get annoyed whenever ppl shit on the things I like#like Iâm an adult sorry idc đ”âđ«#but itâs always annoying seeing ppl who know nothing about the story complaining about it#even just as recently with the Gojo being racist shit đ..#like heâs a really great character despite all of that and even though Gegeâs#execution of that couldâve been better or didnât need to happen at all#because idk what gege was doing even though I do strongly believe that he used a moment like this to showcase Gojoâs ignorance and#that how heâs also human and makes mistakes since if youâre familiar with the series Gojo isnât really treated like person at all#more like a deity and he doesnât like that#but heâs never been one to voice his personal feelings and talk about his trauma ever#he gets treated like a god and because of this heâs never felt like he could truly connect with other people#so thatâs why he puts on that whole act of being overly friendly/ playing with others and even rude to shut others out because of his#aversion to opening his traumatized self To other ppl like heâs so cool#and when heâs friendly he gives the others just enough of his affection so that he wouldnât be worried about and not have others pry#but heâs incredibly flawed as well#I feel like gege couldâve showed Gojo being âhumbledâ some other kind of way over the racism tho đ. But itâs fine lmfao#Iâm still so grateful that he had Gojo actually apologize instead of waving Miguel off like he didnât matter because like Iâve said before#he literally never apologizes (this is probably the first time that Iâve ever seen gojo apologize to anyone in canon Iâm so serious đż)#thatâs literally not part of him#like he feels regret but he never apologies or shows that he actually cares about what others are expressing to him when theyâre upset with#him. like this is crazy. but it shows that he did care about the mistake that he made which I appreciateâŠ. like idk how I wouldâve felt#about his character if he showed that he could care less when hurting someone like thisđżâŠ..#I adore him so much sorry sorry for taking about anime Iâm just đâŠ. â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž#rambling#Iâm glad that everyone is fucking with Miguel now because he is a really interesting character even though we havenât seen much of him#heâs one of the few ppl who Gojo trusted enough to look after someone who he cared about despite the horrors#because he knew that Miguel would protect yuuta and do right by him#itâs very đâ€ïžâŠ
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fascinating new argument has entered the animal rights field: "it's okay to breed animals for a specific human-related purpose over a long period of time and then continue exploit their bodies for that purpose even when they are no longer obligated to because they enjoy fulfilling that purpose. because we bred them to enjoy it"
Not to sound like I was raised by protestants, but I think those kids who argue that it's animal abuse to put working dog breeds to work doing the tasks they were bred and born for have simply genuinely never encountered the concept that they, too, could be genuinely happier if they could do work they found wortwhile and enjoyable. Like engaging in useful and constructive activities might genuinely make life better than a life of doing absolutely nothing because nobody's making you do anything.
#âgenetic memoryâ oh you mean the genes? that we bred into them? *for the purpose of exploiting them?*#yes I'm sure that must feel like a PROFOUND moment of spiritual awakening and cosmic joy for them#like they're finally truly connecting to the authentic nature of their souls. and. certainly Not the result of Literal Genetic Conditioning#this is 'but horses need exercise đ„ș' and 'but sheep need to be sheared đ„ș' all over again Good Lord#isn't it just So convenient that the ones who still ultimately benefit/profit from this dynamic/narrative are the Exploiters?#'no no it's okay to exploit them because we made it so they cannot function or be happy if we don't. see? it all works out fine đâ€'#I wonder if dogs 'genetically remember' a long history of being abused by their owners for failing to perform their tasks too đ€đ€đ€#you know. because it's just so *incredibly* easy to treat an animal ethically when you literally Create them with the intention of#a) being your property and b) performing labour for your benefit#and I'm sure destigmatizing the concept of 'putting these dogs to work' certainly isn't a narrative that will ultimately benefit#those people who Do still actively exploit and abuse these animals for labour and want the legal right to do so đ€đ€đ€ surely not.#'herders will herd because herders must herd' yes exactly. herders will heard because they'll get disciplined if they don't#where do you think the concept of being 'well trained' comes from?????#ânobody's making you do anythingâ I think breeding an animal for a specific purpose certainly counts as Making Them Do That Thing#is OP seriously comparing like. human beings Enjoying Doing Meaningful Work to animals that had their Genetic Coding Physically Altered????#BY HUMANS??????????? SO WE COULD EXPLOIT THEM FOR IT???????????????#IN WHAT WORLD ARE THOSE COMPARABLE SITUATIONS.#'Ah I love being an artist and performing massive amounts of voluntary labour for something I'm passionate about'#'truly feels like I've found my life's purpose!!! my true calling!!!'#'I'm so glad that race of benevolent aliens coded my love of art into my DNA strands đđđđ'#'boy they sure do seem excited to sell all my paintings though!!! wonder what that's all about'#and don't even get me STARTED on 'everyone deserves to experience that at some point in their life'#the level of romanticization and anthropomorphization here makes me wanna' Barf#do you seriously think animals are Incapable of feeling any kind of emotional or physical fulfillment without being BRED into it????#do you think this was like??? a nice GIFT we gave them???? out of our sheer benevolence and desire for their happiness????????#let's not even BEGIN to unpack the harrowing implications of genes fundamentally dictating a living being's ''purpose'' in life#because WHEW BOY. that line of thinking veers DANGEROUSLY close to a certain political ideology.#and let me be clear I'm not talking about like giving a dog a similar form of activity to its ''purpose'' as enrichment that's Fine#but OP specifically says 'putting working dog breeds To Work doing the tasks they were bred and born for.' aka. continuing to exploit them#why do you think they were bred and born for it? huh? for THEIR benefit? for THEIR enjoyment?
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Mutual Help | 59
âł đŹđČđ§đšđ©đŹđąđŹ; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires †he calls it mutual help
âą đ©đđąđ«đąđ§đ : jungkook x reader
âą đ đđ§đ«đ: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn
âą đ°đđ«đ§đąđ§đ đŹ: explicit language, explicit content
âą đ°đšđ«đ đđšđźđ§đ: 18.5k+
â  đ©đ«đđŻ. | đąđ§đđđ±Â | đ§đđ±đ âąÂ
Sometimes you decide on things by feelings or whatever seems right at that moment. Â
You might've suggested something that has bit you in the ass right back. It didn't feel as satisfactory as it perhaps should have when you hinted on meeting new people. Although, it's a great opportunity for both of you to move on, even though just the thought alone leaves a bitter taste on your tongue.Â
Not even the alcohol on it tastes as bitter.Â
Regardless of what kind of opportunity it turned out to be, you had to do it. You're slowly losing it and being in Jungkook's presence alone is not helping.Â
A jealous kind of person is not what you would describe yourself. When the word jealous comes to one's mind, they think of someone being possessive jealous in the worst kind of way. You might've been possessive about people around you, but in a healthy way.Â
Sure, the thing with Ester is not the greatest example of it, but that was something different.Â
There's something building up, something you haven't experienced with Jungkook before. You were jealous in the friendliest possible way. You don't want to dwell on it more than necessary, but with Ester, you were scared of her becoming Jungkook's close friend. It sounds terrible this way, perhaps a little toxic too â it's hard to describe and put it into the right words so one could understand it clearly. There are parts where even you don't understand it.
You're confident about what you and he have. From the moment you met to the point where your friendship is at. Even that is a bit debatable, but you don't want to go there. Not right now. And possibly not in the near future. There are certain things you don't want to think about.Â
Ones you're scared of.
Still. Seeing Jungkook having another friend who he genuinely gets along with, in a meaningful way caused you to act on the void you felt.Â
But jealousy is a human emotion nevertheless. And you totally hate it at the moment.Â
Because there's no Ester or any possible special friendships to be made. This is different.Â
Why the fuck you hate staring at Jungkook and Nara. That's what she's named and introduced herself as when she happily sat behind Jungkook, holding his waist as he drove them through the small waves on a jet ski.Â
Clearly, sharing a meaningful connection called friendship is not on top of her list. She's smiling the entire time they talk about whatever, even though it's the most casual topic. She's not the typical giggling type that smiles to whatever that's being said just to flirt. She seems genuinely interested in Jungkook. Maybe a little bit too much.Â
Okay, definitely.Â
Tap. Tap. Tap.
You tap your fingers on the table, sun setting down as you watch Jungkook and Nara taking a fucking walk along the beach. You hate that after three drinks, you still have your stomach crumbled and twisted around.
There's no reason for you to be mad at Jungkook. You told him to meet people. You freaking hinted about him trying to get it on with other people. Okay, maybe you're irritated he took it seriously and clearly goes for it a little too soon. You also told him you'll be fine here while they go on a walk alone.
âSo it's just you two here?â Gabriel asks next to you, catching your attention for the hundredth time in the past three hours. Yes, that's how long you've been spending your time with them.Â
They're fun and friendly. Nothing bad about them. Clearly young people who want to have fun. They're relaxed, fun and outgoing.Â
So why the hell would you rather have Min Yoongi here than having to witness all of this?
Mentally shaking your head at your ridiculous thoughts, you turn to Gabriel and tear your eyes off those two. You give him a stare that tells him enough about your suspicion by that sudden question.Â
âRelax, I'm just asking.â
âAnd I should believe you because?â you question him. You might've appeared slightly cold toward him. You're not sure if his friendliness wants to aim somewhere else and to something more, or he's just that outgoing.Â
Clearly, he doesn't want to back away because he's been very persistent. You give him that.Â
There's a slight spark between the tug and pull game. But it's not the one you're looking for.Â
âBecause I'm telling the truth.â
There's chatter and laughter going from the other people you've been introduced to. You don't remember all of their names though. You hope you won't have to see them after this. God, that sounded so harsh. They're nice, you swear! But!
They don't give you any attention which makes your conversation slightly more comfortable.Â
âYou're still a stranger. How do I know you're telling me the truth?â
âSo just believe meââ
âThat literally goes againstââ
He laughs. He's handsome. Has a sharp jawline and a cute smile. âYou're a piece of work.â
âI know. I'm amazing.â
He can't seem to drop his eyes off you. You've experienced those before. Which is why you're not sure if he's honest about that or if it's the trick of flirting with you. It seems like men always have some kind of ulterior motive behind their behavior.Â
You don't hate men. Even if it looks like it. You just don't trust them.Â
Unless they are Jungkook, Jimin or Taehyung.Â
Surprisingly, at least Gabriel doesn't annoy you in the Min Yoongi type of way. He's nice, not pushy and annoying which you appreciate.Â
You glance at him fully, both of you chuckling at your ridiculous conversation.Â
There's a deeper meaning behind his question. For the first time, he showed more of his prying persona. You can't blame him. It was bound for people to question it. You've grown used to it.
âYes, it's just me and Jungkook.â
He nods, already knowing this but traces his glass. He had one beer an hour ago and after that one, he switched to lemonades. Somehow, you find that a little attractive.Â
âOur friends were supposed to go with us, but it didn't work for them unfortunately.â
He already knows you're staying at one of the beach houses, which to their expressions, they were a bit surprised to hear that. It's a more expensive side of the beach and while they're staying nearby, it might sound suggestive that you two alone are where families and lovers mostly stay.Â
âDidn't work how? What if it's their way to get you together alone?âÂ
His question has a light tone full of teasing and suggestion, knowing exactly where this is going. He's trying to figure out your relationship with Jungkook, probably not believing two best friends that are on a vacation are only that. Friends. Well, that's quite debatable in all ways but you're not exactly going to share a full depth of anything related to your actual relationship to Jungkook.Â
Gabriel doesn't give you any vibes of being a snitch, but he's still a stranger. A handsome one but not even his pretty face could make you spill the tea. Anyway, he's definitely not asking because he's skeptical but mostly asking for himself.Â
You would've had to be blind and dumb not to notice his undeniable attention and interest aimed toward you. It's flattering and a compliment, really. More than anything else.
âWell, one of them ended up in a hospital with broken toes, so I would like to think he didn't do it on purpose.â
âOuch.â
âExactly,â you deadpan, sipping more of your drink.Â
He grins. He has a cocky twist to his smile. There's no denying he's a catch wherever he travels.
âEven though, you never know with him.â you say, watching Gabriel's confused look before you shrug and chuckle under your breath.Â
Taehyung loves himself too much to hurt himself. No matter how much he would love you and Jungkook messing around more.
Speaking of him, you glance back at the couple walking down the beach. There's nothing special or weird about it. They're just walking beside each other, there's even some distance between them now. Is Jungkook listening to your previous words and just trying to â you don't even know how to name it.Â
Is he trying to get to know someone else in hopes of getting more?
Is he planning to hook up with anyone from this group?Â
Because he totally could and there would be nothing you would do about it. But why should you in the first place? It should not bother you. You should be in the front row hyping him up to do it. You should smack his shoulder and tell him to go for it, like all the guys do.
So why can't you?
You believe it's because you've never experienced anything similar to what you have with Jungkook. Obviously, he's more than the sex God you've portrayed him as in your head. He's definitely more than that. But speaking just about that alone, the thought of him going for someone else and showing that side of him to some stranger he just met, honestly bothers you. It's too soon. And you know if you weren't too thoughtful, you wouldn't be in this position because you would've kept hooking up.Â
You wouldn't have to worry about him suddenly having sex with someone else. He would never do that when he's intimate with you.Â
Fuck. Why are you even thinking of all of this?Â
You did what was best for you and him. At the end of the day, it's just a matter of time before something like this happens. And you know it will and you're going to be okay with it. You will move on.
But perhaps you rushed into it. You've panicked and indirectly told him to just have fun. Without you. In that exact sense you're thinking of.Â
He's smart. Of course he caught onto the meaning right away and something tells you he's doing exactly that. You can't even be mad at him because you told him. You were the one who encouraged and pushed him to move on.
âI didn't mean to pry,â Gabriel speaks up, reminding you of his presence and your cheeks heat up even more under the sun that's barely up there.
You try to cover up your staring by looking at the sea before finally looking at him. He couldn't see the exact direction of your vision, but he could've guessed because they're right there.Â
âI just find it interesting.â
âInteresting?â You frown in confusion.
âYou two.â
âWhat's so interesting about two best friends? Because one is a female and the other male?âÂ
His brows shoot up, catching up onto your slightly offended tone. âI didn't mean it like that.â
âHow did you mean it then?â
He hesitates, but your lifted brow that demands a response causes him to lick his lips as he sighs. âYou've been checking him a few times now.â
You grit your teeth together. Not because you're offended that he indeed noticed, but you're embarrassed that he did.Â
âI've been checking on my best friend.â
âAlright, alright,â he chuckles, trying to play it off as he puts his hands up in surrender. âI wasn't really trying to suggest something else. I just noticed that your friendship seems⊠special.â
âAnd it is.â
He nods, wrapping his hand around the drink as he picks up on the small droplets. âNara won't bite his head off. She's cool.â
âI wasn't suggesting anything else.â You throw his words back at him. He notices, the left corner of his lips twisting in a smirk but he doesn't say anything about it.Â
âWould your friend bite my head off though?â
You arch your brow at him, âAnd why would he do that?â
âI don't know, maybe for trying to get to know you?â
âYou're getting to know me.â you point out, knowing what he's hinting at but you're playing it off. An amusement dances in your eyes and he sees it, his smirk only getting bigger but the determination of getting straight with you is even bigger.Â
âI am.â he hums.Â
âWell, I can't promise anything. Jungkook is protective.â
âSurely he would understand I don't have any vile intentions. I mean, you're single, right?â
You gulp, stopping for a moment. You could possibly make some kind of situation. You're single but you weren't exactly free and down to meeting someone else. For multiple reasons. You could tell him you just got out of⊠relationship that had nothing to do with dating. Simply said, you could tell him you had a fuck buddy and now you're just focusing on yourself.
But considering your previous topic, he could easily catch on and for some reason, you don't want to risk it. You don't want any strangers knowing about you and Jungkook. It seems awfully personal and intimate.
âI am.â you mutter.
âSo? He can't chase all men away from you.â
And he probably won't.Â
âI don't know⊠he did punch a guy for me.â
âWhat?â he deadpans.Â
You chuckle, âHe was my ex. Said some nasty stuff. Kook didn't like it.â
âSo he⊠punched him?â
âMhm,â You take another sip. âHe did deserve it though.â
âI would never say nasty stuff about you. Or any woman.â
What are you supposed to do with that information?
âNever say never.â you shrug.Â
âNo, I mean it. I wasn't raised like that.â
âI don't think he was either. But sometimes we don't know ourselves. And sometimes we can surprise ourselves too.â
âI get that, but if your friend had to punch him for it, he obviously wasn't good.â
You look at your drink that's slowly disappearing. You should slow down. âHe's not a bad guy.â
âDoesn't sound like it.â
You roll your eyes, âYou've got an answer for everything, don't you?â
âYou seem to be just the same way.â he points out.
âYou've known me for a few hours, Gabriel. I could be a total bitch or a completely different person than you've made up in your head.â
âAnd that's why I would like to know you more.â
You stare at him.Â
Having to be in similar situations a few times, this time feels slightly different. Even though he's determined, he's not annoyingly pushy. He's good looking and has something in him that makes you flattered that he's not backing down. Showing a clear interest in you is not something you would gag at or roll your eyes like you usually would have.Â
âSo if I wanted to invite you for dinner, lunch⊠whatever you want it to be, would you go?â
âAre you asking me on a date, stranger?â
He chuckles, shaking his head. âI'm asking to hang with you and get to know you.â
âUmm, isn't that the definition of a date?â
âCould be,â he shrugs, âBut I'm from Italy and you live on the opposite side of the world.â
âExactly.â you point out.Â
âOh come on, just say no if you don't want to.â
âAre you looking for a hook-up, Gabriel?â you question him, not wanting to beat around the bush. Somehow, you know he's honest but you have a hard time believing he's just interested in getting to know you.Â
Why?Â
Like he said. You live in different countries and both of you don't look like the type to have a long-distance relationship.Â
He starts coughing, taken back by your sudden straight-forwardness before he laughs, finding some amusement in it. âIf you want to.â
âIs that why you want to get to know me?âÂ
âNo.â
You look at him skeptically, âI'm sorry, I just find it hard to believe.â
âThen I'm disappointed by the man you've encountered.âÂ
âHey, I have amazing men around me.â
Two of them probably broke more hearts than any of these people in this group, but they're amazing men regardless of it. It's the fact they never did it intentionally. And Jungkook is the definition of a perfect guy. Perfect in terms of loving and thoughtful person who would give everything to his loved ones.Â
âNever said you don't. You love your friends very much, don't you?â
That goes without a question. He sees the look on your face and it causes him to smile. For some reason, he seems smitten by you. Of course he does, look at you. You're amazing.
âYou could say they're my second family.â
Perhaps if they were actually here, things would've been a lot different. That goes without debate.Â
Taking in the silence that follows, you can't help but glance in the direction where Jungkook and Gabriel's friend are walking down the beach. However, they no longer are and instead you find him taking pictures of her. She makes poses, showing off her toned and tanned body. And then she walks up to him, clinging to his side as he shows her the results. She seems to be impressed, as far as you know, it's hard to see it clearly from this distance.Â
And it's for the better, honestly.
âListen, it doesn't have to mean anything more. Just us hanging out over a good dinner⊠or a lunch.â
Gluing your eyes back to Gabriel, which seems to be the safer choice, your eyes run over his features as you take a breath â realizing your stiffened posture before you relax.
âI don't have any sick intentions.â
âYou know⊠you constantly making sure I know that kinda makes it harder to believe you.â
He laughs, shaking his head as he smiles at his drink. Your teasing brings some peacefulness into this conversation again. âJust let me know your decision. Take your time.â
You give him a smirk, knowing you're kind of running out of time. Both of you know it and that's why you both grin at each other. Before any of you can say something, the approaching chatter interrupts you. Jungkook and Nara join you, she says something which makes Jungkook smile and that's when he looks up. Your eyes meet and you straighten yourself, ignoring the way your heart squeezes.
âWhat's up,â Gabriel says next to you, looking at Nara who seems to joyfully sit down and take a few sips of her drink.Â
âGot some nice shots. Jungkook here is pure talent. I'ma show you later.â she says, smiling at Jungkook at the compliments she's giving him.Â
The corner of his lips turn slowly up before he glances back at you. Looking away, you poke the back of your front teeth with your tongue.
âWhat's your plans for tomorrow? We were thinking of visiting the water park here. It's brand new and apparently very fun. You wanna join us?â Nara asks, reaching for a bowl of fruit that Gabriel has ordered. âAnyone?â she points at the bowl.Â
Everyone shakes their heads before her previous question still sits in the air. She glances between you and Jungkook, awaiting your answer.
Once again, you look at each other without saying anything.Â
âThey probably have different plans, Nara.â Gabriel notes, shrugging.
Not wanting to let them know about the lingering tension that somehow remains between you two, you take matters into your hands and give Gabriel a smile. âWe don't yet, not definite but we'll think of something.â
They seem to be settled with that before the conversation moves to something else. Somehow it seems unfinished and by the time you and Jungkook are alone, walking back to your beach house, the feeling intensifies.
âSo what about tomorrow?âÂ
Jungkook is the first one to speak up once you get inside, a few minutes spent in silence after both of you are finished with your shower. You cut strawberries for yourself you got at the market earlier this morning.Â
âI don't know. We don't have any clear plans, do we?â you hum.
âWe could look around the Island. See what's up there and decide then.â
âSounds good.âÂ
Jungkook stands behind you, in a safe distance but you can feel his eyes burning your back. However, he doesn't make a sound before a silent sigh leaves his mouth.
âThen what?â
âWhat then?â you frown, focusing on your cutting as he walks up to you. He leans against the counter with his lower back, crossing his arms over his chest. Luckily, he has put a t-shirt on. One second staring at him topless and you would be done for.
He's staring at you. You know he is, yet your eyes stay glued to the cutboard while you're taking your time with cutting the strawberries more precisely than it's necessary. âThe water park. You wanna go?â
You halt, pursing your lips slightly. âDo you?â
He sighs again, âI think it would be a nice plan if we feel like it after we're done with the sightseeing.â
You stay silent before he taunts;
âDon't you?â
Your jaw clenches, âI think you should go if you wanna go so badly.â
He laughs sarcastically, âWhat?â
Fuck. You and your mouth. Composing yourself, you shrug before you put down the knife. âDidn't they want to go during the day?â
âNara told me they will probably go in the afternoon. The heat is supposed to be crazy tomorrow, it's better to go later in the day.â
Of course, she did. Anything so she could go with Jungkook.Â
While that little comment sounds bitter in your mind, you do know Nara wants him to go. And you should not feel angry or annoyed at it. Maybe that's not why you're annoyed at it at all. It's simple knowing that Jungkook wants to go.Â
So forcing yourself to smile, you get the courage to stare him in the eyes. âYou go if you wanna. I've got plans in the afternoon.â
Silence. For a split second.Â
âWhat?â
Another follows and you wet your lips as you shrug. âI'm going out with Gabriel.â
Well, he doesn't know it yet. He's waiting but you're guessing he will be more than glad to skip the water park. If he doesn't, that's going to be incredibly embarrassing for you and your ego.
Jungkook tongues his cheek, looking away as he scoffs silently. But the overbearing silence makes it ten times louder. âI see.â
âJungkookââ
âIs this how it's gonna be?â
You gulp, âWhat do you mean?â
âWe came here to spend time together but we spend it separately? Is that how desperately you want me gone?â
âJungkook!â
He lifts his hand up, the point finger up as he motions for you to be quiet. âI'm going for a walk.â
âYou don't have toââ
You don't get to finish it, he brushes past you and is gone before you can take another breath.Â
One of the worst habits you possess is the need to spill out anything that bothers you to someone. That someone is in most cases Jungkook, purely because he gives the best advice and comfort to anyone who needs it. He never judges and he just⊠gets it. He's that person you come to and can tell him anything, somehow the words he says or his mere presence is helpful enough.
For clear reasons he's not available â nor would he be suitable since he's the main reason why you're bothered in the first place. You're the one who messed up. For a moment you wondered whether you should go after him, to talk it out like any healthy person would do. But once you got out of the door, he was nowhere and to be walking alone around the Island with no one by your side is not something you wish to risk. Even though it seems to be safe here, you know he wouldn't be happy if he came back and you weren't here.
Or maybe he wouldn't care.Â
You would like to think he would. It's still Jungkook. No matter how many times you fight or there's tension, it's still him. But it feels wrong to count on this all the time, even though it's basic knowledge.
Sure, you've got other friends.Â
You wouldn't want to include Maya here. Purely out of knowing what her response might be â you've got to be a little selfish here because you know that's not something you want to hear right now. Anyway, she's probably planning her wedding or spending time with Namjoon. It feels rather awkward to be reaching out just because you find yourself in trouble. By your own responsibility.
But right after Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung came.Â
Jimin is someone who gives you the hard truth, sometimes even scolds you but with the greatest intention. That's not something you need right now either way.
And Taehyung?
He makes everything look easy with the way he sees the world and particular problems. There is barely any problem in his world. He says fuck it on most things with his optimistic persona. He simply just doesn't care.Â
Therefore, he's the safer choice than Jimin.
Luckily, once you call him and he's alone, you briefly mention the issue here. You kept it safe for your own sake or selfishness. However, you didn't have to mention anything because he questioned Jungkook's absence right after he complained about Jimin and the fact he brings his girlfriend almost everywhere.
When even Taehyung is silent, you're glad you've chosen a phone call instead of a video one.Â
âSo, let me get this straight⊠you go to Hawaii together but you're about to spend it separately?â
âWellâjust tomorrow afternoon. I didn't think it's such a big deal.â
âBut you purposely encouraged him toâI don't even know how to call itâgo and find fun somewhere else?â
You gulp, regretting now that Taehyung's words bite you in the ass. He's right though. âWe met this group of girls andâI didn't want him to focus on me only. I want him to have fun.â
Okay, that's half of the truth but it works. You did more for yourself than for Jungkook, naively believing that it will be better for him. But that backfired and it seems he doesn't feel like it's better for him.
âAnd didn't it get through your pretty head that maybe, just maybe, he wants to have fun with you?â
âTaeââ you sigh.
âNot that kind,â You can tell he has rolled his eyes. âHe just wanted you two to have fun in there. I'm pretty sure he didn't think with his dick when he wanted you to go.â
âI didn't say that.â
âI know, I'm just saying.â he hums, âMaybe he feels rejected?â
âWhat? You think so?â
âI think Jungkook has had a lot planned for the two of you and he imagined he would spend it with you. Not with both of you having fun with someone else, instead with each other.â
âI thought it's better this way.â you mumble.Â
Silence follows and you're not sure whether Taehyung heard or not, but you hear his soft sigh on the other end. âYou do your thing tomorrow and he will do his. Or just spend the afternoon the way you wanted, just with each other.â
âYou make it sound so easy.â
âBecause it is.â
âTae, we were invited. I was asked for lunchâor dinnerâwhatever.â
âSo? Fuck anyone else,â There it is. âAnyway, is the girl hot?â
âWhat.â
Taehyung laughs, âThe girl that so seemingly goes after our Jungkookie.â
âI never said she's going after him.â
âYou didn't have to, babe. It's clearer than Jimin's questionable choice of a girlfriend.â
âYou're being rude, leave Jimin and his girlfriend alone.â
He snorts, laughing as you join. âI would ask you to send me pictures of the girls, but I kinda don't want to. I would regret not being there.â
âCan you not think with your dick when your friend here is in crisis?â you mutter.
âYou got yourself there, hun.â
âYou're not helping.â you grit through your teeth, hearing him laugh.
âLook, just talk to him. You guys communicate well. Wellâit's bumpy these days but you got it.â
âHow's your leg?â you ask instead, listening to Taehyung's complaints while your mind is elsewhere.
When Jungkook doesn't come within an hour, you're seriously starting to get worried. He has left in a hurry, therefore has forgotten his phone that mockingly sits on one of the small tables. Even though he's a man, you're worried for his safety no matter how safe this Island seems to be.Â
Just as you're about to grab your things and go search for him, the door clicks open and there he is.Â
Head low and almost looking like a kicked puppy, you debate whether to jump on him to hug him or slap him for making you so worried. If the roles were reversed, there's no doubt that he would search the entire Island for you. And that's not exaggerating at all.Â
Yet, you stand there â waiting for him to look up and be stopped by the glare you're giving him across the room.
âWhere the hell have you been?â
You're angry. More at yourself than anyone else, but him scaring the shit out of you comes handy at the moment.Â
You know that defeated look. You both hate fighting. It's crazy you've never been through such hard times in terms of fighting than you have in the past year. Sure, looking at it optimistically, you've learned to communicate better. Sometimes.Â
Not particularly now. And you know some of it is mostly your fault now.Â
Being honest means much more than just that.Â
However that once mentioned defeated look is long gone. As soon as that tone and words leave your mouth, he glares at you with those intense dark eyes.Â
It doesn't matter that you sound like a mother scolding his son for coming home late.Â
âI went for a walk.â he says calmly, but there's something on the tip of his tongue. And his face says it all. I told you that.
You scoff. Before anything else can be said, he simply walks past you and you watch at the spot he just stood at in complete disbelief.Â
âThat's it?â
âWhat else do you want me to say?â he offers, giving you I don't give a fuck attitude as he plops on the couch and stretches his legs on top of the table.
He grabs his phone and scrolls down through his notifications. He must know he forgot it here. There's no way he doesn't know now. But there's no sight of realization or anything. He simply seems like he doesn't care.
Not about that and certainly not about you stomping to the room.Â
âAre you serious now?â
He looks up from his phone, moving only with his eyes and you're stunned for a second. He's waiting.Â
âIf I stormed out like that, you would give me hell for it!â you scold him.
âI told you I went for a walk. We both needed to cool off.â
You fumble over your words and try to make sense of them.Â
His eyes say it all. It looks like you haven't.
âYeah, without your phone and you were gone for an hour!âÂ
You watch him stare at you for a moment, sighing as he tosses his phone on the couch. âI'm sorry.â
The surprise on your face is evident.Â
âI forgot it. Didn't realize I was gone for so long.â
Well, an hour isn't so long but yeah, it felt like it. Especially the way he left.
You relax, a soft puff of breath leaving your lips before you nibble onto them with your teeth. You come closer, your knee resting against the armrest.Â
âI will cancel on Gabriel.â
He frowns, almost confused why would you do that. For a split second you feel embarrassed.Â
âSo we can spend more time together.â you elaborate further.Â
âYou don't have to do that out of pity or whatever.â he points out.
This is stupid. You're stupid.
âI'm not doing it out ofââ
âBesides, I have a few plans throughout our stay here. Starting from tomorrow.â
âWhat,â you deadpan, hating the weird pressure and intuition that rises every second until he proves it right.
âI arranged it with Nara.â
It's dead silence for a moment. You're letting the information sink in until you breathe out in even bigger disbelief.
âWhat,â It's quiet, almost painful before you glance at his phone. âYour phone stayed here.â
âMet her during my walk.â
Oh, and she so accidentally appeared right where you were, huh?
He's not looking at you, staring at nothing in particular with a distant gaze.Â
âSo let me get this straightââ You hold yourself together so you don't burst in anger. âYou make a scene for not spending this vacation together and now you just make plans throughout it without me?â
You realize it's mostly said from your point of view and you fucked up, but him accepting it is even more defeating than anything else about this.
âAs far as I know, you made plans too. Isn't this a good way of meeting new people?â
He's throwing it back at you. Clenching your jaw, you painfully swallow as you nod. âI see,â you mock his words, âYou're right.â
And you walk out of the room â not knowing whether you should strangle him or yourself first. Only time can tell.
It's safe to say that sometimes your intention escalates and creates a new wave of something that can hardly be described positively. A part of you blames yourself for opening your mouth, even though your own intention behind it was not wrong. It wasn't supposed to cause any of this.
Already embarrassing as it is, having to lay next to Jungkook throughout the entire night has been another level. You've been tossing around, wondering if he's doing the same whenever you fall asleep for a few minutes until you're awake again. Seems like he's not particularly doing bad, but once again, there's an argument between you that has been maybe talked about, but definitely not solved.Â
You stick to your plans that have been planned out for most of the day. You've gone sightseeing, fed rescued animals and even visited local museums. Basically, done activities where other people mostly talked and you both listened â you were just there. Standing next to each other, walking beside each other but if it wasn't for these facts, some might think you were strangers.
And that thought that randomly crossed your mind hurt.Â
But you're just as stubborn.Â
This is for the better. Sure, you should probably make a mend, it would definitely make things easier and better. But you will try to focus on other people as well. Being with Jungkook alone on this vacation â well, it's not like you have many opportunities to focus on anything else.
But that could change. And it can change.Â
It's for the best. You both got distracted. Preferably with each other.Â
So when the time comes, you both end up at the beach nearby the beach house you're staying at. However, this time it's for you to get separated and each go your own way. Gabriel's friends are already there, wearing their swimsuits and covering it with thin layers of clothing. And then there's Gabriel as well.
You texted him, agreeing to the dinner but proposed to meet sooner. The truth is, you couldn't be alone at the house knowing where Jungkook is. It would eat you alive to be alone with your thoughts of blame and regret.Â
You have no idea where you will be going, perhaps more sight-seeing but you hope Gabriel has something planned out at the last minute. Sight-seeing reminds you of Jungkook as well, since you've spent your entire morning until midday.
You have not spoken ever since you came back. You both showered and changed clothes, here you are. Perhaps you've spent more time on your make-up. Your skin is glowing, covering everything that is laying beneath much deeper.
Summer dress with slightly low cut cleavage felt like the right choice. It's perfect for day time, could be great for night time as well and most importantly, you're not trying to look overly hot. This dress is practical.Â
And you have no idea what's up with men and summer dresses because you feel like you attract men's eyes as soon as they can make out your figure. Gabriel is speechless, though he's grinning and doesn't fail to give you a compliment.Â
Before you know it, Jungkook and Gabriel's friends bid you two a goodbye. Well â mostly Gabriel's friends because Jungkook is awfully quiet and doesn't even spare you a glance as he chats with Nara.Â
Jaw clenched, you turn around and smile widely at Gabriel. âSo what's the plan?â
âMm, don't kill me but I thought we could get a snack or something, waitâhave you eaten?â
âI have,âÂ
During lunch time with Jungkook. No matter how intense it seems to be between you, he still made sure you've eaten something. It's hard to be mad at him. But one memory of what happened just seconds ago is enough to make your features harden, just like your heart does.
âHave you?â
âI have,â he answers, âCool, we can go to that dinner I promised you.â
You give him a slight chuckle, both of you walking nowhere specific.Â
âBut maybe we could go to the water park as well?â
âWhat,â you stop, chuckling nervously. The whole point of going out was not to be in Jungkook's presence. âThe others just left.â You point behind you, pretty sure they are no longer there.Â
âI kinda hoped we would go there alone.â
You give him a look, causing him to grin as he shakes his head. âNothing creepy, I swear. Is it bad that I want you all for myself?â
âYou will give me creeps if you continue to speak to me like that.âÂ
He grabs his chest, pretending it hurts there. âOuch. Is it always so hard to charm you?â
You look away, shrugging. âNot always.â
At least you didn't lie.Â
Best way to distract yourself is to do something. Anything that can't help you from thinking, or even overthinking. You give Gabriel that. Even though he has no idea he indirectly helped you and made your day better, attractions are a good way to just enjoy the presence. You allow yourself and your mind to be present with him.Â
You laugh and nicely enough, Gabriel is sweet and keeps his hands to each other. He doesn't give you creepy vibes â you're not sure if you wanted him to. He's polite, gentleman and funny. Everything anyone would like to see in a guy you're spending time with.Â
You talk, filling almost every second and moment with words. And yet, still somewhere rooted inside you, you keep looking around, hoping you won't meet Jungkook. Possibly see something you don't want to. You want him to have fun.Â
But deep inside you feel like you've pushed him to do this. It's stupid. You proposed something. You never forced him to do anything. But just because it hasn't been done directly, doesn't mean the outcome is not the same.Â
And you do it again. So you go to the first attraction you see, the water ride. You take Gabriel's hand, pulling him towards it until you're seated and drenched in water. After you're done, you both laugh at each other's appearance.
âI wonder if they sell towels here.â Gabriel says, praising himself for wearing slippers instead of actual shoes. His shirt is drenched, showing some of his abs. But you're respectful, you're not looking.Â
âIt's hot, we'll be dry in thirty minutes.â you laugh, squeezing more water from the rim of your dress. It falls down your legs.Â
âTrueâhow aboutââ
âGab? What are you guys doing here?âÂ
Coming from the side, you both glance at the way where one of the girls walks with the entire group of Gabriel's friends behind her. Great.
All you hear is Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook. He must be around here but you don't dare to let your eyes travel further.
âWe wanted to try some of the attractions too.â Gabriel answers as if it's not a big deal.Â
Although he's met with some confused looks from his friends, they're not overly judgy and you get them. None of you mentioned going here before.Â
âYou could've gone with us. Oh god, did you guys just go on this ride? We went there first, you should've seen us! ActuallyâNara and Jungkook just went there like ten minutes ago andââ She starts looking behind her, pointing in that direction but she doesn't have to.Â
Your eyes naturally find him there. Walking, unbuttoned shirt that is drenched similarly to your dress. The difference is that you can see his skin, a few droplets here and there as the sun shines on his tanned skin.
âWe didâI wanted Y/N for myself, is that so bad?â
And that's when Jungkook looks up, undoubtedly catching Gabriel's words and your stare as well. Seconds pass by and someone keeps talking, but you don't pay attention. Jungkook's eyes travel down your figure before a slight frown settles on his face.Â
Looking down, and you hate that you do, you follow his line of vision. The outline of your breasts is visible, nowhere near explicit to the point where anything is visibly clear, but even the slightest perks of your hardened nipples can be noticeable if one truly looks there. This dress doesn't require a bra, the material around that area is thick enough.Â
When you were picking this dress, you weren't counting on getting it wet by any means.Â
Crossing your arms over your chest, Jungkook stares directly at you this time. Something about his gaze is so intense that you're not sure whether you're naturally nervous or aroused. Fuck.Â
âWe were just about to get frozen yogurt, you guys wanna join? We'll leave you alone, I promise.â Matt, one of their friends jokes, causing all of them to chuckle just to tease Gabriel.Â
Gabriel is not a shy person. He rolls his eyes playfully at them, ignoring them right after before he looks down at you. He's taller than you, not as tall as the man who stands across you and you feel his eyes on you. It burns.Â
âWhat do you say? Frozen yogurt?â
Frozen yogurt is the least of your worries right now. The right thing would be to refuse and come up with some kind of excuse, maybe trying the good old I wanna try more attractions. Just so you could finally escape the burning gaze that is ten times hotter than the sun above your heads.Â
But the annoyance that slowly simmers inside you, followed by Jungkook's unpleasant face, changes your mind. Lips stretching into a wide smile, making sure Jungkook sees it and hears you loud and clear.Â
âSure, frozen yogurt sounds great.â Delightful, you want to say.Â
The others cheer, clearly happy to have Gabriel join them. You see Matt throwing his arm around Gabriel's shoulders, teasing him, undeniably about you as Gabriel shakes his head and with laughter pushes him away.Â
âYou havin' fun?â
Jungkook walks next to you, looking ahead and not giving you one last glance. His jaw is clenched and you smile, amused and pleased even.Â
âAre you?â
âWonderful,â he mutters.
âGood.â
âGood.â
Scoffing, you open your mouth but before any remark can make it out of your mouth, a woosh of coldness and pressure causes you to stop in your tracks. Most of it is blocked by Jungkook whom you manage to see turning his back, facing you while he shields you from the impact before your eyes are forced to shut.
The nearby attraction has splashed you, a few more people being a victim of it as they either laugh, curse or freeze in shock. Even your newfound friends who have managed to avoid the splash, gasp in surprise as they stare at the two of you.Â
You're fully drenched, every inch of you covered in water as you can feel it drip down your dress. So much for being dressed nicely.Â
âOh my god, are you guys okay?â Gabriel asks, walking over to you.
Though you look up at Jungkook, who stares at you before his eyes drop down to your chest. You know his stare is not an act of lust, more of acknowledgment you should make. You don't have to look. You feel it.Â
Your arms cover your breasts, turning to Gabriel to respond to him. However before you're able to utter a single word, you feel a soft touch of hand over your lower back.Â
âWe have to change clothes.â
âI saw a stand with some clothes where the kids' attractions are.â Nara tries to help, pointing in the left.
Jungkook ushers you to move before you can get drenched any more than you already are. Stupidly, you let him and you hate how you enjoy his hand on you. Maybe it has something to do with Nara watching.Â
There are no words said as soon as you distance yourselves from the rest of the group, leaving them up to their activities while there's a suffocating air surrounding you. The burning weather has nothing to do with it this time.
You watch Jungkook pick random shirts and shorts once you get to the stand. The older man who sells it tells you that this happens pretty much often, that's why there are a lot of towels and clothes for sale. Of course, it always has a Hawaiian theme or a water park one. You let Jungkook interact with the seller while you linger behind him, offering him a soft smile in return because that's all you can do.Â
âThere is a changing room with a restroom around the corner. It's more to the side, so it's not much crowded, in case the lady needs more privacy.â he advises nicely.
Smiling one last time, Jungkook briefly nods as he follows the man's directions and leads you to the mentioned changing room.
He forgot to mention it's a single room. You can still hear screams and laugh from the side, but it's more isolated right now. You get inside, scanning the room. It's spacious. There are hangers on the wall, a basic bin and a sink. A huge mirror is spread across the one wall, the lighting is shitty though. The light bulb weirdly glitches but there is no weird smell in here. You hate public bathrooms, especially at water parks.Â
Surprisingly, there's not much water on the floor. The man was right. There are not many people who use this changing room. You've seen a couple of them when you were walking with Gabriel, but you haven't thought much about it. It sort of makes sense now.
The door clicks behind you, causing you to look across your shoulder. âUmm, where are you going?â
Jungkook looks up, brows frowning as he grows slightly offended by the question. âTo change?â
His own question holds an attitude and you just stare in bewilderment for a moment. But when he doesn't move an inch, stubbornly standing his ground, you frown as well.Â
âCan't you wait?â
âCan't you wait?â
You scoff, almost laughing how childish this situation is. When Jungkook is mad, he can get slightly childish or let you feel all the nice things he does for people, until he stops it just to get petty. Not that you can't complain. You do the same things.Â
However, you use your mouth much more than he does. He's more subtle with it.Â
âI was here first.â
It's childish, you know it, yet you still point out when you're not sure how to react in the first place. Jungkook laughs under his breath.
âI wanna get out of these clothes as much as you do. Let's turn around and not look at each other.â he proposes, thinking that's the problem.Â
Little does he know you could care less if he sees you naked or whatever. You hate the way the water drips down his body, the ends of his hair picking up all the water until it slowly drops and it does the same thing seconds later. You hate how his tan body peeks through the opened button-up.Â
He's here. Yet it seems like he's never been further since you came to Hawaii.
All of this is stupid. You've been through much worse back home and you were able to make up.
But there's a lot of stubbornness and until you get there, you'll have to get through this somehow.Â
âYou think that's the problem?â you question, seeing him giving you a confused look as he starts taking off his button-up.Â
He turns around to the sink, squeezing any water access he can from it. You don't move. You just shamelessly stare as he completely unbothered continues to do what he came here to do.
How dare he? Your self-consciousness mocks you.
âAnd what's the problem here exactly?â
He doesn't even spare you a glance, continuing to squeeze his completely scrunched up shirt.
âAre you seriously asking that?â
âI asked, didn't I?â
You scoff, ready to pounce on him. Not the good kind.Â
âThere's a thing that's called space.â
The double meaning sits in the air, yet he doesn't look perplexed by it. For all you know, he doesn't even notice it as he bluntly continues his task. It pisses you off.Â
âThere's enough space between us.â he simply says.
Your chest squeezes, causing you to purse your lips for a second as you breathe out. âYou can't be serious right now.â
âI'm not even looking at you,â he scoffs, âI'll just change my clothes and I'm out of here. If you wanna just stand there and wait, you're free to do that.â
The audacity of this man is beyond the words. Is this how payback feels like?
âOh, got it. You're eager to get out of here.â So you can get back to Nara, you want to add but decide not to. You would sound like a jealous bitch.
Somehow, Jungkook seems to get the hidden meaning behind it, almost as if he could hear your thoughts from out here. He chuckles, it's just the amused look he gives you that barely lasts a second, but it leaves you breathless and all exposed.Â
The dress clings to your skin, you want nothing more than to take it off. You don't dare to move though.Â
âMay I remind you it's you who wanted me so eagerly to be out there?â
It's like you speak in riddles, yet you both know the exact meaning of them. You both don't dare to say it out loud.Â
Getting tired of it, but mostly letting out the anger that you mainly hold for yourself, but for the man in front of you as well, you take an angry inhale of breath.Â
âWhat exactly is it that you want, Y/N?â His voice rings loudly in your head, even though there's nothing loud about his tone.
Shakingly breathing out, you quietly point out; âYou can't be fucking your best friend, Jungkook.â
The emphasis on your relationship is clear, though all Jungkook does is chuckle under his breath, scoffing. He throws his shirt into the sink, walking up to you. Your breath catches, though you can't almost anticipate once he's close to you. He stops, just centimeters from touching you. You can smell his faded cologne sticking to his skin and you almost crumble.Â
âWhat if I wanted to?â
âJungkookââ
âYou always make a decision without talking to me. It is yours, I respect it,â He stops for a brief moment. He stares your face up and down. âWhat exactly are you so scared of?â
And the fear comes rushing to you, mainly located in your chest as your hands flinch to squeeze it. You remain standing there, not being able to look him in the eyes. His eyes are on you, you feel every inch of them, the proximity they shine.Â
âThis is ridiculous.â You try to move past him but he stops you.Â
âIt is,â he agrees, âIs this about sex?â
âIt's not just about that!â you argue, voice hushed and almost scandalized that you're having this conversation in public. You only hope there's no one standing outside, able to hear you.Â
You heard Jungkook locking the door, but still â there might be people waiting.Â
âI know you,â he says silently but clearly. âI know there's something going on inside that pretty head of yours that you're not telling me.â
âStop.â
âAre you in love with me?â
You gasp, âWhat? No!â you push him, palms against his chest but he holds you by your wrist, amused by your sudden outburst.
âSo why are you so adamant on pushing me away? All of a sudden, may I add?â
He's asking all the right questions and you despise it at the moment.Â
âYou can't be fucking me forever, Jungkook. It must've ended at some point.â
âOhâand you just decided on it without talking to me?â he scoffs, âYou just randomly pushed me onto some random chick.â
âIf I remember, you're willingly spending your free time with this random chick.â
He grins, though there's nothing genuine about it. It's fueled with cockiness.Â
You might realize there's more to Jungkook's reaction. You suddenly start to understand why he's maybe hurt by your sudden twist of emotions. While you never came out of the wrong place, at least your intentions never did, you might understand what his problem is.
He expected you to communicate with him about it. He might be right about that, but you also had your own reasons and yes, maybe you fucked up and it didn't go as planned, but you won't take the blame for all of it.Â
It's hard to focus on it though, especially when there's unspoken annoyance and anger dancing around you two.Â
âIt was your suggestion.â he states matter-of-factly.
One, you regret.
He lets go of your wrists, but not before rubbing it softly with his thumbs. It's a minor detail, one you almost don't notice but it would be a total shame if you would.Â
âWith a good intention.âÂ
âAnd what's the intention?â he asks right away, tone slightly more defensive. âHuh?â
You open your mouth but nothing comes out of it.
Exactly â Jungkook's face says it all.
âTo push me away? Because you're too scared to communicate?â
Jungkook's annoyance comes mostly out of this. You've used to communicate and talk about everything. And that brings you to the point. Things have changed. There are minor details, perhaps even more minor than Jungkook's faint touch of affection he gave to your wrists just now. But in these kinds of situations you can perfectly see them.Â
Does he not see it?
âFine,â you spit out, âYou want me to communicate? I will.â
âAbout time!â he exclaims.
âI want you to meet new people. Be open to meeting new people.â
âWhat the hell are you talking about?â he grimaces.Â
âYou can't be open to meeting someone when you're fucking me the entire time!â you exclaim back, chest heaving as he looks taken back.
That's all gone as his brows furrow. âThat's not your decision to make. When I'm ready to meet someone, I will.â
âThat's not what I meantââ
âReally? Because that's all I could gather. If I wanted to be single for years, I easily could and that has nothing to do with you.â
Ouch.
âI knowââ
âDo you?â he asks. âBecause to me it seems like you don't get it. If you didn't wanna have sex with me so badly, you could've just easily called it off. For the hundredth time anyway.â he mocks the last part.
That's where you gasp and come up to him, invading his space. He doesn't seem to mind.
âBut you wanted it, didn't you?â
He taunts you, even though you're in his face, looking angry as ever â he remains calm and has all the control.
âA part of you still wants it. That's why you can't see me with Naraââ
âThat's not about her.â
âIs it not?â
âNo. I told you to meet people. That's all I wanted, don't you remember?â
He scans you for a moment. âSo we're at this point where we can fuck whoever we want?âÂ
Fuck. You did not expect him to ask this. Nor did you expect to get to this point. You led him to it. You are the reason why he's asking this. You don't blame yourself for this, it's a simple fact. It will happen sooner or later.Â
So why the fuck there's an answer caught in your throat?
âDo you want that?â he continues. âI promised you we would go here as friends. No sex. Anything.â
Your throat feels dry, painfully dry that it even hurts to swallow. There's nowhere to escape. There's an imaginary spotlight set on you, Jungkook's determined gaze making up for it.Â
âWe agreed to come here as friends.â
âThat's not what I'm asking.â His response comes quickly.
He stares at you, searching your face for something unknown and you shift under his gaze, causing your own eyes to trail somewhere else. You can't hold eye contact. He waits. But when he doesn't get anything in return, he simply scoffs or chuckles under his breath â you can't tell â and takes a few steps away from you.
His shorts go next, he takes them off and tries to squeeze any excess water.Â
âI just wanted you toâI thought it would be a good opportunity for you to meet someone new. It wasn't supposed to come out as pushy or anything.â you murmur gently under your breath.Â
He stops for a brief moment, not moving. âHow about talking to me next time, yeah?â
You nod, though you're not sure if he sees it. He's not even looking at you. Brows pinched in together, you watch him continue with his task.Â
âNoted.â You drop your head low.
âIf you want to fuck someone else so badly, just tell me.â
âThat's notââ Your reaction comes fast. Eyes wide and mouth open, you shake your head. âYou thinkââ
âDon't you?â he almost accuses you.Â
âYou think Iââ You make air quotes with your fingers, âpushed Nara on you because I wanna fuck someone else?â
âI no longer know what I think.â
âIf I wanted to do that, I would.â You assure him, comically using the same words he has used not that long ago. It's the truth.Â
âGood to know.â
âGood,â you exclaim. âI guess we can both agree that we're capable of doing what we want.â
âAre we?âÂ
Your mouth slightly opens. âHuh?â
âAre we capable of doing what we want?â
The shorts join his scrunched up shirt in the sink, knowing Jungkook will wash the hell out of it once he gets back. He loves to do his laundry. But that's besides the point.Â
What matters is how Jungkook inches closer to you, his eyes eating you up and noticing you haven't shredded a single piece of clothing. You catch a glimpse of your face in the mirror. Your pupils wide, an expectation screaming out of them while your skin remains wet. Trails of water trailing down between your breasts.Â
He follows it before his eyes slowly go up until they meet yours.
âPerhaps it's a curse or talent, but one look at you and I can already tell where your mind's at.â
He doesn't make you feel pathetic. He simply comments but finds some sort of enjoyment in it. The male's ego is never truly gone and you wish you could crash it, verbally using your mouth as you're good at it. It doesn't matter that his implication is true â it doesn't matter you both know it. You would fight and argue, just to compete his ego with your own.Â
It seems like you're not able to this time.Â
âYeah? And where's your mind at?â you try to sound unbothered, but the way your chest slowly starts to heave up completely betrays you.
âAt the same exact place where yours is. Unlike you, I'm not ashamed to say it out loud.â
He backs you to the counter, nowhere near touching you â yet he does it with a single stare and has you exactly where he wants you. The tip of your toes almost touch, his figure hovering over yours.
Gulping, you try to play it cool. âGo on then. Tell me.â
He chuckles, it's soft but holds amused darkness that's wrapped around his cords. âIf you insist.â
You don't. But you play into this fake illusion of not knowing what he's talking about. Just a pure excuse to try and prove him otherwise. To be honest, you might be curious about what he has to say. Jungkook has a good judgment for a character â when it comes to you. That obviously does not apply to his exes.
âI'm supposed to be somewhere else, physically and mentally, but here I am thinking of different ways of having you.â
You stop yourself just in time not to gasp out loud, showing him a vocal reaction other than your heart picking up its pace just at the single thought of it. Let alone having to hear him confess that.Â
Clearing your throat, you try to straighten your posture but end up brushing against his chest. You do your best at ignoring it, staring him straight in the eyes. âAnd that's what I want?â
Don't lie to yourself, the little devil of your consciousness ironically laughs. Of course you know all of this, you just have this urge to prove him otherwise and crush that confidence he has within himself.Â
âPlease, you're already salivating just from the thought of it.â
Narrowing your eyes at him, you argue: âNo, I am not.â
âTell me,â he cocks his head to the side. âWould you rather bend over the counter or sit on it?â
He sounds nothing but curious, not even feeding to your delusions of him being out of touch with reality. Only he is not.Â
âYou're an idiot.â you breathe out, trying everything to sound scandalized or offended. You would be able to fool if it was anyone else. But not him.
âFor speaking the truth?â
âYou're saying it as if I would want that. Listen to what I'm saying.â
He chuckles, shaking his head lightly. âWords are irrelevant when your eyes practically beg me to touch you.â
You know he chose a lighter version of what he would initially say. He wants to be way more explicit, but you're both dancing on the edge.
âYou think you know everything when it comes to me.â It sounds ridiculous coming out of your mouth. He doesn't appear to be offended because you both know how much he truly knows you.Â
To bring this conversation to a different topic, he chooses to ignore it and simply smiles.Â
âSo if I were to do thisââ He lightly touches the side of your neck, wrapping his hand carefully around it. You inhale shakily, not being able to control it. âWould you tell me to stop?â
He gently massages your pulse that moves under his thumb, watching goosebumps appear on your soft skin. His hand is gone before you can blink, but is soon replaced by his fingertips tracing down your neck, past your collarbone until they stop at top of your breasts.Â
âHm?â
You're not able to react. Your chest heaves, a glare fixated on him but no sound comes out of your mouth. He has you. Wrapped around his fingers, proving his point. Because of his ego and confidence, you know he's proving it to you rather than to anyone else. He can be that annoying.Â
Close to leaning toward his touch, the tip of his fingers play with the hem of your dress, occasionally and very faintly touch your skin. His other hand goes down, playing at the fabric of where your dress ends. It goes up, fabric gathering over his wrist. You shudder, mentally begging him to do more.
As if he could read your mind, his eyes look up without having to move his head, dark sinister spark in them. When he doesn't see you protesting, merely making sure of your current state, he does not waste a second and pulls the top hem of your dress. Revealing your breasts, he sucks in breath at the perked nipples. His hold on the dress tightens and within seconds, his mouth is wrapped around your nipple.
âFuck.â you moan, throwing your head back as you arch into him.
He's like a starving man, perhaps he is from the stupid condition you've made up, but so are you. The other hand grasps the back of your thigh, molding his fingers into your skin as if he wants to leave as many imprints as he can.Â
Teeth grazing your teeth, he wraps his hand around your neck once more and makes you look at him. You just stare at each other, not an ounce of shame written on your faces. Your noses touch, your mouth already opened as small gasps similar to moans escape. You beg him to kiss you.Â
He doesn't.Â
Instead, he drops down to his knees and before you know it, his hands disappear underneath your dress and shamelessly pull down your only piece of underwear. Once that's done, he hoists up your leg over his shoulder and dives in right away. You can barely grab the edge of the sink counter and balance yourself on it, before his mouth is on you.Â
âJungkookââ
You swear you hear him chuckle, but you're too distracted by the shots of pleasure he's attacking you with. He shows no mercy. Fingers wrapped in his hair, you tug onto his roots as he moans against you.Â
Nobody does it like you.Â
While that thought normally scares you, now you're fucking grateful he's the one that's between your legs.Â
You come embarrassingly fast, trying to keep yourself silent from moaning and embarrassingly so, you have no idea whether you've succeeded or not. Jungkook fucks you through it with his mouth, stopping just at the right time as he pulls away.
Lips swollen and red, eyes drinking you up, he effortlessly stands up. âWas this anything relatively close to where your mind was?â
It was far dirtier but there's nothing to be disappointed about. When it comes to orgasm and Jungkook, he never disappoints.Â
âI can't complain.â you breathe out, watching how he pulls up your dress and covers your breasts to give you at least some kind of modesty.Â
It's a single detail, one he never had to do and you never fully noticed â but no matter what, Jungkook always looks out for you. A blunt apology wants to come out, for numerous reasons of the misunderstanding of your own fears and good intentions, but Jungkook takes a few steps back.Â
âChange your clothes, I will wait outside.â he says, quickly changing his own before leaving you up to it.Â
You turn around, not being able to let go of the counter as you grip it harder and stare at your face. He didn't even go all the way and you look like you've had the time of your life.Â
Once again, you and Jungkook have succumbed to your desires and broken the only condition you've had for this vacation. It should leave you disappointed and perhaps you are little, but you're definitely satisfied for the time being.Â
At least until you have to walk out of the door and face the storm in the form of your best friend.Â
Your knees and hands have stopped buckling by the time you've changed into dry clothes. Nothing screams more than a tourist wearing an oversized shirt with a huge label saying âI love Hawaiiâ, an image of a red heart replacing the word love. It's something you would've worn to bed to sleep in â or at the beach to cover up the least â not parading yourself in it in public.Â
The sense of fashion is the last of your worries or things on your mind though.Â
Jungkook has waited outside of the door, guarding it safely. After his sudden leave, you did not lock the door which could be a terrible mistake if Jungkook wasn't there to make sure no one walks in. Somehow, you knew he was right behind that door.
The walk toward the rest of the group is spent in silence. As if his mouth wasn't all over your private areas. The memory of it makes an excitement bubble in your stomach, even though it should probably be at least a hint of some kind of regret.Â
You do not regret the act itself. Mostly, it's just you being so weak to prevent it.Â
Maya would surely get the baggage off your shoulders, supporting this wild decision. But she just doesn't get it.Â
Simple walk to find your newfound friends â or whatever you would call them â makes you miss your real friends. You wonder how things would go if they were here.Â
Maybe it's just your stupid naivety of believing that it would be different. No matter what, it seems you and Jungkook always find your way to each other â intimately speaking.Â
One thing's for sure.Â
Jungkook has confronted you. There's truth to both sides.Â
Of course the man can have anyone he points his finger at. It was your foolishness to think this vacation was the perfect chance at it. Selfishly, you might've done it more for yourself than for him.Â
And what if you would meet someone as well?Â
It would certainly make things easier. The decision would be way easier too.
Gabriel is handsome. Hot and charming. Practically the perfect package for a vacation hook-up. And as much as would be leant toward maybe kissing him at least, you can't do that when Jungkook is right there.Â
Once you find them, the mood is sour between you and you're not even trying to hide it. Maybe it's the lack of smile and a big portion of silence that makes them notice it. No one comments on it. In fact, you don't think it's worth being commented on.Â
Their positivity and good mood continues to be unaffected.
âWe dodged the whole frozen yogurt, heard there are these best waffles somewhere around here with fresh fruit. Wanna go there instead?â Gabriel is the first one to ask, eyes finding your figure as soon as you approach them.
In this heat, sweet food or a snack is the least of your cravings.Â
âI'm actually not hungry at all,â you respond, feeling guilty for not being up for this idea.Â
Gabriel looks confused for a moment, certainly remembering you were all up for frozen yogurt just a few minutes ago. Like the gentleman he is, he doesn't question you but you can see the questions running inside his head.Â
Maybe he doesn't want to do it in front of his friends.Â
âThe heat is killing me.â you add, trying to save it.
He nods, glancing toward the man next to you who hasn't made a move to⊠move. âJungkook?â
âI already had a dessert.â he comments, shamelessly staring at the side of your face.
Eyes almost bulging out, you keep your calm and try to not react. Even though Jungkook has not worded it out weirdly to give anyone a big suspicion, it's you and your guilt that makes it think it's so obvious. You wish you could glare at him, but you know there are eyes on you.
âWe stopped by the fruit stand, so we had that on our way here.â you lie, straight through your teeth and even though you could be defined as the worst liar ever, this lie comes out sweet and believable. But it's Gabriel's eyes that continue to stare and watch you like you're the biggest open book.Â
Fuck.
âYeah, the fruit here tastes nice.â Jungkook continues and you do everything in your power not to smack him across that bratty mouth. Mouth you wish you could have kissed.Â
You give him a look, but he just cocks his brow at you. âYeah, Jungkook came up with this ideaââ
âDid I?â
You glare at him, âAnywayâsorry, I know we wanted to go there together.â
âIt's fine,â Gabriel laughs, âWe're still gonna get it. You guys are still going with us, right?â
âYeah, sure!â you force yourself to smile, joining Gabriel as you feel Jungkook's burning gaze on your back.Â
That's until you hear Nara's voice behind you, making a casual conversation between them and diverting his attention elsewhere.Â
Once the sun is slowly setting down, you part ways and go back to the beach house in silence. No difference happens once you're inside, just the two of you.Â
The past two hours spent with people you've met here felt like a torture. That's what you at least thought until you and Jungkook continued to pass by each other as you two are getting ready. Comically enough, not to go somewhere together but with different people.
He kept his word and accepted Nara's offer to go out tonight. Whether he's doing this to piss you off or because he wants to is unknown to you. Perhaps there was a slight hope that you two would just come to an agreement to cancel and go somewhere together. Even staying inside would be enough.
Once Nara asked Jungkook if their plan is still on and Jungkook so shamelessly confirmed, all the hope left as soon as it came. Gabriel has done the same with you and there was nothing other for you to do, then to agree.
It's a pure comedy. If there was a third person just watching the two of you, they would have the time of their life. Somehow you can imagine Taehyung here, sitting on the couch as he judges you two but stays entertained throughout the entire time.
After taking a shower, you end up doing your make-up in the living room with the smallest mirror you've brought on this vacation. Your previous plan of doing it in the bathroom where there is a massive mirror has failed as soon as Jungkook uttered his need to use the shower as well.Â
You're not sure if he's done it on purpose, but he sure as hell took his time there. You're putting on the lipstick when he finally decides to get out of there.
Both of you stop.
He's wearing an all white â button-up with shorts that reach just above his knees. Shorts you didn't even know he owns. He looks elegant, yet casual just for the hot weather even though there's a slight darkness outside. His slicked back hair definitely helps.
Jungkook's eyes fall down on your figure. You're wearing a simple short black dress but the gold necklace and red lipstick adds a pinch of sexiness to it. None of you are overdressed or could win the outfit of the year, yet you can't keep eyes off each other.Â
You're the first one to break it, standing up and tidying up your make-up stuff that's all over the table, but not before raising a provocative brow at him. He scoffs as he walks past you without any word, his cologne the only thing left and lingering. Out of his sight, you close your eyes and breathe out the gathered breath in your lungs.Â
The two of you leave at the same time, in different directions to different people.
The restaurant where Gabriel has taken you is nice and they have a variety of food on their menu. You have a nice view of the beach and sea which adds points in your imaginary review of this place. You've got to be honest â Gabriel definitely went out his way to invite you here.
He doesn't mention his friend â Nara â not even once and while you're not sure if you want to hear the reminder of her hanging out with Jungkook at the moment, you hope you won't bump into each other. You feel bad.Â
You listen and talk to him, but your mind is all over the place. You should've known you won't be able to enjoy tonight if there's someone you've fought with. And with Jungkook out of all people.Â
At least the food is nice.
After two hours of good dinner and dessert, and a few glasses of wine, Gabriel decides to walk you back to the beach house. You're not stupid to decline it, especially at night. Before that you decide to take a quick walk down the beach.
âSo, what are you saying? Was the dinner that bad?â
You give him a look, chuckling. âDid it meet your expectations of getting to know me?â
Now he's the one who laughs. âYeah,â he nods. âKinda makes it hard for me to go back to Italy.â
You raise your brow, smirking. âSo you're saying you're not going where I go?â
He laughs at your joke, âI'm thinking of it.â
âYeah, sure.â you laugh, âOne dinner is all it took?â
âYou're special.â
And you're more likely looking for a hook-up, you think. You both know there's no future to this.Â
âI am special?â you snicker, âIs that what you say to all the girls?â
âIs it working?â he teases.
âNah, it takes more effort when it comes to me.âÂ
He stops in his tracks which causes you to do the same. He stares, eyes dropping down your lips and red lights flare in your mind. Knowing what it most likely means, you quickly turn away.Â
âCome on, I'm so full I could fall asleep.â
Cringing at yourself, Gabriel follows and doesn't seem to be shaken up from it. He continues to talk and the mood is pretty much loosen up, which has been from the beginning. You had a good time and it went better than you expected it to.Â
Gabriel doesn't try to kiss you and you bid goodbye with a casual hug, both of you understanding that nothing will come out of this.Â
The lights are on as you open the unlocked door, meaning that Jungkook is already back. It seems like he just came as he came out of the bathroom, surprised to see you there.Â
âHow was your date?â he asks, looking away from you in a second.
âIt wasn't a date.â you clarify which makes him snicker. âWhat? It wasn't.â
âAn Italian guy wants to make plans with you, alone. You might be right, it's not about a date at all.â
You give him an offensive look, âAre you insinuating that all I'm good for is a hook-up?â
âNo, don't twist up my words.â He immediately stops your mind to go somewhere his mind doesn't even get close to. âI'm insinuating that a guy from freaking Italy suddenly shows his interest in you, when you live across the world.â
You frown, watching him reach for a glass of whiskey you haven't noticed before. He's not drunk but what he is, is confidently smirking in your face as if he knows everything. Well, he's not too far off. Gabriel wants to have fun and while he seems to be a decent human being, he's not about to move to a country to be with you. You wouldn't expect him to anyway.
âBut you're right,â He purses his lips, the rim of the glass almost touching it as he lets out the tiniest chuckle that's supposed to be hidden. âHe's probably wanting to marry you.â
He's provocating you. The plans have not turned out the way you both wanted to â but it is what it is. Your curiosity almost kills you and your impatient-self wants to ask him about this date, or whatever it was. This is a game, you realize.Â
And you won't let him have that satisfaction of you asking.Â
âHe wanted to kiss me tonight.â you inform him.
You watch him take a sip, pursing his lips right after as you slowly watch him swallow down the hard liquor. âI'm sure he wanted to do much more.â
Is that a jealousy you hear?Â
No one has quite peaked your interest regarding this matter. Judging by Jungkook's confidence, he knows that.Â
âNext time I will let him kiss me. Maybe then he will want to marry me eventually.â You give him a false smile, stopping right beside him as he wants you with a clenched jaw.Â
Not giving him a chance to respond, you walk away with confident steps into the bedroom. The door closes and your back meets the wood. You can feel your heart in your neck, all the facade of confidence and peace leaves and you softly bang your head against it.Â
What you said was completely stupid. You don't want to kiss Gabriel. In fact, the thought of it is nowhere near as exciting as one would expect it to be. Both of you know that the second part was only said to piss him off and prove a point.Â
The questions areâŠ
Will you let him kiss you next time?
Did or will Jungkook kiss someone else in here?
The ongoing battle that you're in the middle of has not ended.Â
Both sleeping at the very both ends, as far away from each other as possible, has been a good way to start the day. It's not like you expected to cuddle during the night.Â
That's not what friends do, your mind wants to say. But you've crossed that line too many times. You're not the typical friends either, that ship has sailed a long time ago.Â
You shouldn't have pushed him away. It's too late to take it back. For a moment you think of coming to Jungkook, apologize and somehow talk yourself out of this impossible battle you're in. You're willing to take all the blame for it.Â
However, that's all gone as soon as you hear Jungkook calling with who you assume is Nara, his tone sweet and sounding exciting as they make plans for today. You stand there, making yourself a coffee as you try not to listen to their ridiculous conversation. How can you not?Â
Jungkook sits right behind you, even if you didn't want to listen â it's impossible for you not to. He knows that. He knows you're listening. You're the one who has come in the middle of their conversation.
The call ends after a minute, your coffee ready but your mind isn't when you turn around and face the devil. You've seen him from the corner of your eyes when you entered the kitchen area, but nothing prepares you for the shirtless Jungkook. His hair isn't messy, he seems to be well put and from the looks of it, he came out of the shower not that long ago.Â
He cocks his brow at you, questioning your stare making your features harden. âHaving a date today?â
You painfully watch the way the corner of his mouth slowly lifts up as he chuckles. âCareful, you start to sound jealous.â
âMe? Don't be ridiculous,â you scoff, âWhere is she from again? Doesn't she live across the world?â
Jungkook features lighten up with pure amusement as you use his words against him. âAt least I can admit this is a date.â
âI simply hung out with a guy. We never stated it's a date.â you point out, knowing it sounds silly but Gabriel just wanted to get to know you. You never officially called it a date.
Jungkook stands up, grabbing his empty plate as he gives you another one of his snickers. âBe in denial all you want.â
âYou know what?â He raises his brow in question, too close to you as he reaches to put the plate into the sink. âI'm not gonna spend this morning arguing with you. If I wanted it to be a date, I would make it perfectly clear to him.â
He smiles, but there's nothing sweet about it. âA date or a chance for a hook-up. I don't see the difference.â
He does. Jungkook has always been the dating type rather than the hook-up one. Your two friends have taken that label since forever. But obviously, he's not talking about himself.Â
Suddenly, the air becomes thick and you stare right into his dark eyes. He's hovering over you, his scent luring you in as his eyes dance across your face. âMaybe you should take your own advice.â
He pulls away, giving you a chance to breathe again as you quickly recover. âYeah? And what would that be?â
Jungkook grabs his phone and looks at you across his shoulder. âYou should meet new people.â
Your mouth opens and you stare for a moment before you scoff, âIf I wanted to date, I would already have like hundreds of boyfriends. The same goes if I was looking for a hook-up.â
âGood for you.â he calls out bitterly, leaving you in the kitchen with a fuming gaze and burning heart.Â
But you realize one thing. How selfish you've just sounded. Jungkook has told you the same thing.Â
If any of you wanted that, you could've easily done so. Yet your reason for saying it to him and what ultimately started this argument, is completely different.
Jungkook is a dick.Â
He has left for his date or whatever the fuck it is, and has left you alone in the house even without asking whether you have plans or not. You know your relationship right now is not at its best stage, but little consideration could not hurt. Especially since he's always been caring and considerate no matter how much your relationship has taken a different turn.Â
It's one of the reasons why you desperately wanted to move on. Throw your past away and come back to the friendship you've known since the beginning. It leaves you agreeing that your original intention has come from a good place.
Luckily, Gabriel seems to show interest in you, still, after the little rejection you've given him after his attempt to kiss you. He comes to you a little after you come to the beach to just lay there. He's been there with his friends since this morning â at their usual spot. Nara is nowhere in sight and much to your distaste, you know who's she with.Â
So once Gabriel invites you to hang out with them, you agree and would rather spend your alone time in a company of many people, than to dwell all alone about your decisions in life. He keeps you entertained and busy, away from your haunting thoughts. UntilâŠ
âNara is with your friend. You know where they went?âÂ
You sit at a bar, drinking lemonade in this burning weather and you're thankful for the sunglasses you're wearing, so he's not about to see the tiniest roll of your eyes. âNo idea. He forgot to mention.â
In the morning which is the last time you've seen him. He just left you to be with another woman, in a foreign country. You know you can call him anytime. Even now â no matter what your relationship looks like, he would be here in a second if you called and needed him. But still â you're mad he just left without saying anything. Deep down you know that's not the only thing that irritates you.Â
âNara fancies him a lot.â
So? You want to say. What are you supposed to do with this information?
âReally?â You're trying to sound surprised. But even Gabrielâ who had so little time to get to know you â catches onto the tone and laughs. âIt's pretty obvious.â You try to save it by simply stating.Â
âShe did ask him to go out again today. From what I know, she was never the one who asked someone out.â
âWhere does she live again?â you ask, taking a sip off a lemonade trying to quench the fire inside you.Â
âSpain.â
âIt's not like there's any future to it.â
Gabriel stays silent and just stares, while you continuously take innocent sips. âActually, Nara has applied for some modeling jobs in Korea.â
He's definitely not talking about North Korea, unfortunately that's unrealistic.
âOh,â
Well, fuck. This just gave a completely different turn of event.
Considering your luck, she probably applied to your modeling agency as well. Many foreigners do. You just hope no one will mention it. Not to be a bitch, but you can imagine someone asking you to help her to get in. That's beyond your competency. But you could always mention her to Junho.
Oh my god. Jungkook has worked there too. He probably has saved your boss' number. While you think Jungkook wouldn't cross that invisible line you've set, he's always trying to help and save the day.
âListen, how about I take you out for dinner tonight?â
That's⊠shocking.
After the last time you ended things, you thought he gave up. But you should've known better. It seems guys like him barely give up.
âWhat's else for us to do?â he chuckles, not really waiting for an answer but it still comes.
âWhat do you mean?â
He looks at you, reaching for his drink as his shoulders relax. âOur friends are meeting with each other almost every day.â
The taste of your non-alcoholic drinks becomes bitter on the tip of your tongue, just as much as your mood does. âAs far as I know, you've got other friends here.â
âBut none of them are you.â
Smooth. The little smirk you give him tells him everything. He's aware of his smooth delivery of compliments. You've got to give it to him â he knows his way around girls.Â
It's not like you have anything else to do. Jungkook seems to be busy and does not care what you do here anymore. And Gabriel's company is nice. If it's true what he said about Nara coming to Korea, there's a bigger chance of them making future plans together. And as much as this thought leaves the most bitter taste on your tongue, you'll leave that move for Jungkook to make.Â
After all, that's what you wanted for him and who are you to stand in his way.Â
Purposely not verbally reacting to Gabriel's flirting, you shrug and lean in your seat. âDinner sounds perfect.â
Legs resting on top of the coffee table, Gossip Girl plays in the background as you mindlessly pop grapes in your mouth. Maybe you're silently imagining it's Jungkook whom you're crushing between your teeth.Â
After spending almost the full day with Gabriel and then the rest of his friends, you've come to the beach house finding it completely empty. It looks exactly where it's left off and you're embarrassed to admit that you've checked Jungkook's things to see if they've moved. And perhaps he was here. They haven't, which only meant one thing â Jungkook hasn't come here yet.
Sooner than later, the door opens and there he is.Â
He does not seem surprised to see you there â almost as if he knew you wouldn't be anywhere else. You give him that much satisfaction of looking at him once he arrives, acknowledging his late arrival. You hate what you do but it has its own purpose. And that is the single glare you give him.Â
You feel like a mother, silently scolding her child for coming home late.Â
He goes for a shower right away and you battle with thoughts of him, erasing the traces of possible sex on his skin. He comes back after a few minutes, wearing just his boxers with wet hair. You want to scold him for walking around like that, but that would be slightly selfish for numerous reasons. Is he torturing you on purpose?
He joins you on the couch, not questioning your choice of TV show as he knows you've previously seen it. As he sits down, you can't hold it back and just come straight to the point.Â
âWill you help her?â
Your gaze is focused on the TV screen, but you feel his own burning the side of your face. âHuh?â
âNara.â
He just stares which causes you to look at him and roll your eyes at him. âShe applied for modeling agencies in Korea.â
âKorea is huge,â he says after a moment. âAnd how do you even know that?â
âGabriel told me.â You try to not sound too proud.
âWhen?â he asks confusingly. âShe told me just today.â
He's questioning if you've known this information sooner but never told him.Â
This time you inform him with a smug face. âHe told me today as well.â
The revelation that you haven't spent your day here alone is out. He is unreadable. He just watches you, almost as if he wants to make sure you're not making this up. Too bad for him. You're not making anything up and this time you're not too shy to show how proud you are for it.Â
âWhat? You thought I was here all alone while you went on a date?âÂ
It's a purposeful jab, one that leads to nothing but disaster but you don't care. You're mad and annoyed. And now he knows why. Yet he doesn't make any effort to make an excuse for himself.Â
âYou brought him here?âÂ
First of all â you're not sure what would be so bad about it, even if you brought him here. But then it clicks. Jungkook has his own assumptions and bringing a guy here, while you're all alone could mean different things. Your skin is moisturized and you smell like your shower gel, which means you've left the shower not that long ago.
Perhaps it could be considered as disrespectful if you indeed brought him into a house, Jungkook rented and is a space for you two. You could understand that.
If the roles were reversed and you found out he brought Nara here â well⊠the thought of it doesn't sit well with you. But what does, when it comes to her?
âNo, he asked me out after you so kindly left me here to go on your stupid date.â you huff out, standing up and forgetting about your TV show. The controller is tossed on the couch as you leave without looking at him.Â
Your steps lead to the bathroom where there's a slight trace of foggy mirror left after Jungkook's shower. Mentally groaning at the scent of him dominating in the room, you reach toward the sink faucet in a desperate need to freshen up your burning face.
You don't get to turn the water on as Jungkook is in your tracks, a burning gaze aimed at you. âYou seemed to have solved it pretty quickly.â
Realizing he meant your accusation of leaving you to go on a date, you scoff.Â
âI wasn't about to sit here and sulk, waiting like a dog for you. If that's what you were planning for me to do.â
âI wasn't planning that,â he states, even though he wants to be just as mad for some reason. âI wasn't planning on being out until now.â
âWell, you were!â you exclaim.Â
âSorry.â
âSorry? Is that all you've got to say?â
He leans against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. âWhat am I supposed to say?â
âYou know what? Nothing. Say nothing.â you fume, forgetting your dumb purpose in the bathroom anyway as you rush to get past him. But as soon as you get close, his hand around your wrist stops you.Â
The touch is electrifying, sadly not in an awful way and you hate how your body reacts to him naturally. âDid you at least have fun?â you scoff.
âWould you be mad if I said I did?â
You almost cry, like a child but the anger inside you is bigger than anything else and you shake his hold on you. âAnd did you have fun?â
âLots of it.â you spit the words at him.
You both stare into each other's eyes, the anger screaming out of them and yet the question you want to ask is unspoken.
âGood.â
âGoodnight Jungkook.â you murmur, walking away and quickening up the pace before you can do something you really want to, but would regret later.Â
One would think that after yesterday's exchange of pitiful words, you two would have solved it or at least tried to voice the problem here. It seems there is not enough pity and when the two of you want to, you could be the biggest pity bitches.
âMilk?â
Side-eyed look toward Jungkook, having two bowls of cereal ready and awaiting your answer. âI can make myself breakfast.â
âMilk?â he asks through his teeth, causing you to roll your eyes behind his back as you sit down.
âYes.â
Whether this is his way of saying sorry for yesterday or not is unknown and you're not about to investigate it. You mutter a silent thank you once the bowl is set in front of you and you two dig into your breakfast without any other sort of conversation.Â
The rest of the morning goes like this. One word communication which seems almost like a challenge. Phones are your best friend but both of you are stubborn to talk. You swim in the pool for the first time since you're here, enjoying the sun warming your skin as Jungkook goes for his morning jog and comes back an hour later.
You're playing quiet house, so it seems.Â
As the day goes, it's more than clear that both of you have plans tonight. Separate plans.Â
Jungkook's phone goes off and he goes inside to take the call, after joining you in the pool. Trying to keep your nerves to yourself, you've had to endure his presence (lack of clothed presence). You went to rest on a beach chair while he swam. PAIN.
It's close to dinner time and you both get ready. Unlike Jungkook, you spend more time in the bathroom to do your hair and make-up, which he so âkindlyâ reminds you every time he wants to take a shower or goes to grab something there.Â
The air is thick and it has nothing to do with the scent of hairspray and your fragrance.Â
None of you ask what's your plan for tonight. But both of you can tell. No details though.
âYou done here?â
You stop in the middle of putting your lipstick on as you give him a look, âDoes it look like it?â
Ignoring the attitude in your tone, Jungkook comes up to the mirror and by doing that, he moves you to the side. He almost causes the lipstick to meet your cheek and you can tell, you almost see a smirk curling his lips.Â
âDon't look at me like that. You've been here for a long time.â he says without sparing you a glance.
While you watch from the side with an open mouth and disbelief written on your face, he easily grabs his hair gel and starts doing his own hair. You fume, snatching your make-up bag and stomping away to finish what you haven't had the chance to â thanks to Jungkook.Â
By the time you're done, Jungkook has left without saying another word. You haven't even heard him leaving and you feel pathetic as you search him around the house, all while trying to look for something. Turns out there's no one here and he has left. First and again.Â
Luckily, Gabriel texts you not that long after and proposes a short walk. He doesn't want to reveal the restaurant location but he had to make a reservation, which already sounds fancy as it is. You're hungry and considering you're not in your best state, still fuming, you decide not to complain. First of all, it's not polite at all.
Gabriel is trying and just because you're in a mood to be a bitch, doesn't mean he's the one who deserves it. At least there's some sort of self-reflection happening.Â
And two, maybe it's a good idea to walk around a bit to come to different thoughts. Plus, you will eat more by the time you arrive at the restaurant.Â
He has cleaned up nicely, catching female eyes as you walk around for a few minutes. The walk has been short, just enough to make a casual conversation until you arrive.
The restaurant is located on a pier, waiters all wearing fancy white shirts and slacks â a difference from all the shirts with Hawaiian motifs and skin showing.Â
As you're led to your table, you notice there's not a single table free and tonight it's fully packed.
âWhat is this place?â you ask as soon as the waiter hands you menus and leaves after.Â
âIt's the most famous restaurant on this island.â
Your mouth opens and then it closes again. âAre you insane?â
He laughs, staring at you fondly as if you haven't been too bold with your words. âThis is what I like about you.â
âWhat,â
âYour honesty,â he hums, âIt's refreshing. You don't try to woo me.â
âWhy would I woo you?â you ask, genuinely curious but again, it comes out a little bluntly which causes him to laugh again.Â
âOuch,â he jokes, holding his chest as you stare at him across the table. âYou're in this world to punish men for their overly huge egos.â
You purse your lips, âI'm not in this world for men, first of all.â
âTechnically, you are thanks to one.â
Your nose scrunches up which causes him to laugh again. âThat's besides the point.â
âSo is there anyone who's been trying to woo you instead?â
âBesides you, no. Not at the moment.â
He cracks another laughter, âTouchĂ©. I deserved that.â
Giggling, you shake your head at your conversation.
âSo tell meââ His words drift away because in the midst of your laughter, you spot someone entering your line of vision.
The world could not be any more cruel at the moment. There they are.Â
Jungkook and Nara enter the pier as they're seated by the waiter, just like you were minutes ago. Jungkook, the gentleman he is, pulls out the chair for her as she giggles with a bright smile. Clearly wooed herself by the sweet gesture.Â
âYou've got to be kidding me.â you mutter so silently, that you're sure Gabriel can't make the words out but it's enough to silence him as he follows your gaze.Â
He turns around and lets out a surprised, but light sound.Â
âOh, I guess me and your friend think alike.â
You try hard not to make a sour expression as you clear your throat. âLet's not interrupt them. What were you saying?â
âIs there someone waiting for you? Back in Seoul?â
âI told you, I'm single.â you chuckle.
âI know, but that doesn't mean there's not someone who's ready to fight for you.â
Your fingers stop clicking and you gulp.Â
âSo you're telling me there's no one in your life? Not even recently?â
It's like he can see there's something on your mind. You decide to come up with half of the truth. It's not like you'll see him again.
âThereâIt wasn't a relationship, more like a relationship of convenienceââ
âSo, a hook-up partner, right?â
Lips in a straight line, you hum in confirmation. âYeah, whatever. We ended it, so it felt like a good decision to come here and just relax. Come to different thoughts.â
Cominically enough, you came here with a person you're currently talking about. The one who's sitting just a few tables from you two.
God, you sound so stupid. Of course, you're not telling Gabriel the whole truth. The purpose of coming here with Jungkook was to enjoy it, strengthen your friendship â the previous one you've had. You had an agreement.Â
Somehow, you end up arguing thanks to you and it gets all twisted.
âWell, I know you were supposed to come here with your friends. So I understand why you would do that.â
âIt's not just because of that. We were planning this for months. It was supposed to be a friends' vacation.â
He hums in understanding and doesn't get the opportunity to speak, as the waiter comes back and asks for your order. After you've ordered your meal, Gabriel leans back and studies you for a short moment. Just before you're about to ask about his lingering gaze and its purpose behind it, he speaks.Â
âYou're not really looking for a relationship, are you?â
Your brows shoot up at the unexpected question. For a while, you're not sure how to answer and your face says it all. In the end, you shrug and voice your confusion. âWhat's with the sudden question?â
âI apologize,â he smiles, âI had to voice my curiosity and I wonder if I was right.â
You lean back, fingers clicking against the table. âI'm not against it. If it comes, I welcome it.â
âHm,â he hums. âSo no hard break-up?â
âWhy do you think so?â
âI don't know, there's just something about you that I can't seem to crack.â
âSometimes some things aren't meant to be cracked.â you tell him, making him smile at the possible truth.Â
âSometimes,â he agrees. âI'm sorry if I seem to be nosy.â
âNo, it's okay. Trust me, I win when it comes to curiosity.â you admit with a silent laugh.Â
âI travel a lot, so I don't really have enough time to properly date. No woman wants a man who's ten months out of the country out of the year.â
âWhat do you do again?â
âContent creator.â
âOh, so you're an influencer?âÂ
He laughs, âNot really. I do write for a traveling blog.â
âMaybe you'll find someone you can date and travel with.â
âUnfortunately, you don't seem that kind of person.â
You laugh, âI do enjoy Seoul. It's home by now.â
It doesn't take a genius to realize that the only contact he gets through women is mostly by hooking-up. Though, by the look of it it seems that maybe he's longing for something more stable and serious.Â
âYou know, this time I'm here for a good vacation. No work. No writing.â
âThat's great. I'm assuming all that traveling is tiring.â
âIt is. I enjoy it and I love my job. But I came here to maybe come to new thoughts.â he explains.Â
The waiter brings you your food shortly after. There's no awkward silence during eating, you keep a slightly lighter conversation as Gabriel remains nothing but a gentleman. You would lie if you said you're purposely focusing your gaze on the plate, rather than on Gabriel fearing your eyes would wander somewhere they should not.Â
You don't care. Maybe they noticed you and clearly decided not to interrupt you as well. Or maybe there's still that awkward awaiting of them noticing. Sipping on a drink, in a hope it will bring you to different thoughts and help you relax a little bit more.Â
The reason for your slight discomfort doesn't need to be named.Â
âYou assumed, I've been through a break-up. Why?â you ask, curious as he seems taken back.
âI asked more than assumed,â he corrects. You don't seem to be buying that statement but remain silent. âAt first I thought you're not interested in me, particularly. But I get a feeling you're just not interested in general.â
âWhy's that?â
Yes. He might be right. You're not necessarily trying to search for someone. But you don't get a feeling as if you were against it.
âLet me be bold here.â
âPlease.â you encourage him.
âThere are men who can't keep their eyes off you. And I simply noticed by spending time with you.â
You give him a doubtful look which he quickly disregards by shaking his head.
âMen are men.â you simply tell him.
He makes a disapproving sound. âThere are hundreds of women at the beach, but the majority of them stare at you.â
âOkay, now you're just giving me a compliment.â
âI am not,â he laughs gently, âI could but I guess it is a compliment when there are men thirsting over you.â
âLike I said. Men are men. They're thirsting over anything that wears a bikini.â
âThatâcan be true. But my point still stands.â
You clear your throat, âOkay. Maybe I'm not completely in a place where I'm searching for a relationship. I never hid that.â
âOf course. But that's why I just tried to prove my point why I think you're not interested.â
You stay silent for a second. He's technically a stranger but it seems as if you were having this conversation with a friend. You don't feel uncomfortable and there's no need for you to get defensive over this topic. He's wondering and that's fine.Â
âIt wasn't a relationship. Just a hooking-up type of one and we ended it. So I just need to get things back how they were.â
And comically enough, the person who's a part of this is sitting just right over there. Even though Gabriel seems to notice quite a few things, Jungkook and your history with him seems to be oblivious to him.
Why do you care?
You've been trying to keep it a secret as long as possible until it got out. So what if he knows the truth? It's not like you'll see him again â most likely. You don't need anyone to judge you two or look at you differently. You definitely don't need any more insights into this matter than your friends have delivered.Â
Your own mind is a mess.
And on top of it, Jungkook and you are on edge.Â
The mention of him causes you to look up. And fuck. What a mistake you make.Â
You meet Jungkook's gaze, the intense color in them burning even from this distance as he's already looking at you. Your breath hitches in the most subtle way. While you stare shocked that he has noticed you, his brows are pinched together.
He's not exactly pleased to find you here.Â
Nara sits on the opposite side of the table, so all you can see is her back but she seems to be saying something to him. Jungkook reaches for the glass of wine and takes a few sips, eyes not leaving yours.Â
Then he's the first one to look away. That tiny detail affects you more than you're able to admit and you almost fume when the frown disappears from his face. You watch it all. His features relax as he talks to her back, obviously listening to her even though his eyes were elsewhere. Even that is kind of annoying.Â
Nara gently throws her head back and giggles almost so loudly, that you hear some of it. With the most burning eyes you watch Jungkook smile and let out the prettiest gentle laugh.
âAre you okay?â
You quickly avert your gaze to Gabriel. âYeah.â
âThought I already bore you.â
You push out a laugh, wishing Jungkook is looking. But once your eyes stupidly wander back to him â he actually is looking.Â
You make sure Jungkook sees the tiny provoking movement upwards of your lips. And he does. His eyes narrow, addressing the glare to you and only you.
âNo, I'm starting to have a lot of fun.â
Gabriel's and yours glasses clink together comically in a synchronized way. But the only ones who seem to be on the same wavelength and having an idea â are you and Jungkook.
a/n: F-IâN-A-L-L-Y! believe it or not, nobody wanted to get this chapter out more than me! if you've been around and reading some of the asks, you probably know life got crazy and busy! as always, I'm super grateful to everyone who's been patient for me and cheering on me whether it was online or offline ⥠to every person who's been harassing me on the internet over an update, this one's not for you. I see you and I'm not interested. I've said this in one of my asks â you never know what someone goes through offline and what could possibly be the reason of their lack of activity.
on another note, this chapter should've had more scenes and so much more was supposed to happen, but from obvious reasons I've decided to post it in the end because I still think it's a good chapter. anyway, I hope you'll like it just as much as I liked it when I was writing it (no matter how much time it took me đ„Ž) all the love goes to you guys!
If youâve enjoyed this chapter, please consider buying me a coffeeâïž: https://ko-fi.com/personasintro ⥠Teaser for chapter 60 will be posted there!
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Meowdred: I feel like this short hair makes me look younger.
Theodore, not bothering to lift his book from his face where he's pretending to be passed out on the couch: You need not lie to me, a fellow Echo possessor. You keep your hair that way because it covers your glowing eye that scares children.
Meowdred: WELL and it makes me look younger.
Theodore: No amount of hairstyle, beauty products, or perfume can make you look "younger" when you dress entirely in black and gold, carry an evil-looking tome OR an evil-looking bone staff OR both, usually both. And also you radiate the vibes of an old man feeling every single years of the three decades of war and loss. Which is what you are.
Meowdred: :((((
Theodore: Why this sudden pivot to try and look a way you are not, Mordred? You never cared before.
Meowdred: B
Meowdred: Because the world's a better place now and I'd like to fit into the brighter part of it more easily? Is that so wrong, to want to cover up all the things in me that will never heal, so I can stand beside the ones who'd moved on and don't look out of place?
Theodore: ...So that is why you are only ever in the Brume in Ishgard, the poorest districts of Ul'dah, and the far-flung quarters of Ala Mhigo? They felt more like your people?
Meowdred: That, and there are children born and living now in all those places where the occupation, the Calamity, the losses and bloodshed, were a bad dream or they had never known it at all. They deserve better than a shambling reminder of how terrible it was. Which is what I am.
Theodore: You know that is not true.
Meowdred:
Meowdred: Damn. You're right. Hmmm. But I do want to cover up this eye. It does scare kids.
Theodore: You do realize that for every frightened child, two more think you are the most amazing badass mage in the whole world. Or so I had been told by no less than 17 orphans in the Empyrium. Children aren't a monolith, Mordred. They are us, only smaller and more honest.
Meowdred: ;_; YOU'RE RIGHT. I'LL PUT MY EYE ON BLAST. FOR MY FANS.
#meowdred surana#theodore pentaghast#meowdred loves him incredible for these moments where hes like. im sad and i feel monstrous#theodore: are u serious#meowdred: oh. u right. so what if i am!#a monster who is so very loved and also so very human#monstrosity for mordred is and had always been additive quality; to have what others generally do not#his experiences and travels AND the echo had made him an amalgamation of so many things#his involvement and compassion had led to connections with many others who are nothing like him and those connections engrave their marks#on his being as well as everything else. so THAT is the 'monster' that mordred thinks he is. and sometimes he thinks he's lonely and doesn'#belong anywhere because of the mix of all the things. but the truth is more like he DOES belong to many places#not in ownership or possession but in terms of community & friendship#but he does sometimes get way caught up in trying to look...less like the scary thing he thinks he is
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