#no concerns about that anymore lol
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I really love how in the breadth of range Xie Lian shows, never does he ever defer to power. One of the earliest (chronologically) scenes we see with this is when he was still just a beloved prince. For one, Xie Lian disregards everyone telling him that he should have let Hong Hong’er fall to his death to continue the parade, because letting a child die to preserve a festival tradition is morally bankrupt. Then later, Qi Rong is injured by Feng Xin—indirectly on Xie Lian’s orders—and despite the fact that Qi Rong was in the wrong (causing chaos, destruction, and injury in the capital streets, attempting to publicly murder a small child, acting above the law and against the direct royal family for his own whims), Qi Rong still demands that Feng Xin’s arm be broken, to which the king agrees because “a servant should never injure royalty.” Xie Lian, seeing the blatant corruption in this, tells his father that if he really thinks Feng Xin was wrong, then Xie Lian, most beloved prince of his kingdom, should be punished in his stead for giving him those orders. Xie Lian never backs down from this, using his status to attempt to cow his own father THE KING into admitting fault and backing down, and it was only because Feng Xin broke his own arm and kowtowed to end the dispute (“you shouldn’t fight with your father, Xie Lian”) that it was “resolved.”
After his ascension, we see him refuse to listen to the older, more “experienced” gods—including Jun Wu—who mock him for attempting to save his kingdom, telling him people are only good for the worship they provide while their actual lives mean nothing. When his kingdom is destroyed and he is at his lowest after being abandoned by his family and friends, he refuses to give in to Bai Wuxiang goading him into destroying Yong’an, despite the fact that none of the people stopped to help him as he lay for days with a sword through him (which by his own stipulations, meant they deserved death). When he ascends again and Jun Wu offers him his place back in the heavens, he rejects the offer, choosing to wander as a powerless, fortune-less immortal amongst the people over living comfortably as a powerful but removed god.
During his third ascension, he refuses to allow the other more popular and powerful gods to escape accountability for their actions, even as he is threatened for it. He goes after Pei Xiu despite everyone saying that it would get him on Pei Ming’s bad side, because he refuses to allow Banyue to take the blame for another’s actions, just because she is a ghost and he is a god. He refuses to stop associating with Hua Cheng despite everyone telling him to because, again, their hatred of the ghost king was based on bias and superiority complexes rather than the reality of who Hua Cheng was.
I could really go on and on, but you get the point: Xie Lian never bows to power or hierarchy to dictate his morality. He knows what’s right and wrong, and he’s gonna do the right thing, status quo and societal expectations be damned.
#tgcf#this was written way before my reread#think i was saving it for spoilers#no concerns about that anymore lol
252 notes
·
View notes
Text
22 more images (with some saucy shenanigans and immature "seduction" tactics towards the end) below the cut:
Ryuk makes his grand return and is brought up to speed with Light and L's immoral union. The date seems pretty successful~.
Next (Mature)
Next (Super Abridged)
Previous
First
Master List
Transcript
#drawn by me#my fanart#my fancomic#Death Note#The Chain#lawlight#Light Yagami#L#Ryuk#smooch#saucy shenanigans#suggestive dialogue#Ryuk third-wheeling~#L meets Light's quirky-deadly roommate#henh not much to say about this one. basically a continuation of the previous entry despite the absurd update gap.#I've lost the ability to keep anything brief anymore~#L seems a bit out of character with his willingness to go with the plan huh? And don't you think he'd have gotten used to Light's teasing b#now? Maybe it hits a little different knowing for a fact that it's coming from Kira's mouth directed towards him of all people~#Also the picture where Ryuk is saying he'll scram when things get heated is probably my favorite drawing of him that I've done!#he was so intimidating to draw especially over and over in comic form. such a far cry from my usual human style#but like all things I gradually became more and more comfortable drawing him. I'm very happy about that! :)#I have a dumb idea/headcanon concerning the nerds' first copulation attempt~.#if I decide to include it here I will definitely try to age restrict it even though it won't necessarily be graphic.#don't wanna get in trouble lol#I have more trouble drawing spicy scenes than I do with shinigami subjects XD#tw: food issues#they both eat the sketchy 'apple' to prove they're not cowards... despite it not being the smartest idea in the world. >_>
357 notes
·
View notes
Text
Come back home when you have some sense
You can throw your life away just not at my expense
You’re not the son I raised
#jhariah#this one just rawrrfrrr#and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’#nice#im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it#god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like#hnnnghhh#hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot#the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM#sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’#like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke#but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me#and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards#the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome#the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear#its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe#but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill#and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill#you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit#and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it#and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was#very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me#which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me#yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm not iron deficient anymore!!! :D I just got the blood test results back and for once I had a fixable problem and it is fixed*!!!! *well okay my total iron saturation % is still a little low but the rest of my numbers are in the normal range! Even ferritin!! My ferritin levels have almost quadrupled and are now in the normal range!!! :D
#the person behind the yarn#medical mention#blood mention#my ferritin levels were 3 and now they are 11 :D#I am not at stop taking supplements stage but I think I won't need an iron infusion anymore!#I was really not looking forward to finding out if I was allergic to that#like. very grateful for the opportunity to get an iron infusion if I need one#but given all the other stuff I'm allergic to...I was concerned lol#also this doc was the first doctor to bring up testing me for the Significantly Worse version of a thing I have#like. I knew the worse version existed but no doctor had ever mentioned it to me#I do not have the Significantly Worse version. It's not the kind of thing you have for a decade.#and once I told her when my symptoms started she stopped talking about doing the test#but it was nice that she knew enough about it to bring it up and that she was willing to. you know?
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
tbh when mitski said “you’re my best friend/now i’ve no one to tell/how i lost my best friend”
#my freshman year of college my best friend and I were both a wreck#and on opposite sides of the country#during winter break I made the decision to share certain information with their parents bc I was actively concerned for their safety#they were deeply upset about me betraying their trust like that and asked for a break in our friendship#(a few months later (which happened to be early March 2020. lol) they did shrooms and realized they wanted to talk to me again lmao)#(so we talked and cried and now we’re still best friends almost 4 years later)#and my birthday is in january so it fell right in the middle of the period we weren’t talking#and my friends at school actually put together a really lovely party and it remains to this day the best bday party ive had#(most of my bdays have been sad and shitty lol)#but i just remember being drunk in my friends dorm room with my friends all around me#it was the end of the night people were just kinda chatting in little groups or whatever#and i was lying on my friends bed just miserable bc all I could think about was how my best friend was supposed to be there too#bc my parents were going to fly them out for the weekend as a present#and obviously that just got dropped#and id been talking to my friends about it kind of but all I wanted was my actual best friend#I left them a very embarrassing drunk voicemail that THANK GOD they deleted without listening to#but it’s just. the quiet agony of being angry and sad and hurt because your person doesn’t want to be ur person anymore#and still wanting to talk to them about it. still needing them to comfort you and give you their advice and insights#i don’t want to talk to anyone else about it. they’re not you.#sigh. anyway. ive actually lost several close friends for various reasons ranging from reasonable to bullshit#and it always blindsides me how much I want to talk to THEM about it#so thanks mitski for expressing that so artfully#op
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
trying to convince myself that it's not my responsibility to police my sister's choices
#like if I have concerns about stuff she's doing in her own time or apps on her phone I tell our mom#and then it's no longer my responsibility#it still stresses me out though bc I hid all kinds of stuff at her age and it was not great overall#bc I ended up coming across some rather inappropriate stuff#and I caught her using a very questionable app or something and did tell her it was questionable and deleted it#and I'm gonna tell our mom once I get a chance that not everybody is around lol#but still. I know once I tell mom it's not my problem anymore I'm not her parent she is not my responsibility in that way#but it's like. BOOM. ANXIETY ATTACK ×300
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Actually, on the topic of the baby fever. God it's so frustrating. Bc when I was like 14 ish I was Adamant that I never ever wanted kids. And my dad said smth around the lines of "that'll likely change" (probably from his own experience with this) and I was like NO. it WONT.
And then eventually, age 21-22 ish, I admitted that Okay, I still don't want to have my own kids, but someday maybe I'll adopt...
And Now, 27 years old, I got the general baby fever on occasion. It Did fucking change. And I don't know if I actually WILL bother with having my own kid (I still don't want to go through the hassle and massive body changes). But god. I do see a fucking baby and feel that stab of longing. It's almost like my damned hormones betrayed me or smth. Maddening!
I shall simply write fanfic about it.
#speculation nation#pregnancy ment/#honestly though i hadnt felt the wish to have my own until after my dad died#and i realized just how small our family is getting. and just felt this stab of NEED. to continue the line. continue the family.#my family's fucking dying around me i need to add to it. need more family. yknow?#so i dont actually know if this is. because of hormones or because of grief or What#but it was enough for me to put the hysterectomy idea on hold. bc id been genuinely considering it back in like. april? or so.#but then this happened and now im like. fuck dude. i dont know. but the uncertainty's enough to keep me from doing it.#yeah i dont wanna deal with periods anymore. but also. i need more time to decide.#i think no matter what i do want to raise kids someday. once im more stable (financially and emotionally)#but whether thats adoption or putting myself thru fuckin body torture. well i'll just have to decide. later.#maybe the deciding factor will be my own body aging lol. if i wait too long. my body will decide for me. who knows!#i Have thought about what id do if i got accidentally pregnant. especially relevant back when i was sleeping with a trans woman#and used to be id abort no hesitation. but well. i mean abortions illegal here anyways rn so id have to go to another state#but if i decided it i could make it work. it's not That far of a trip.#but. when i thought about it. the concern was less about the theoretical baby. and more about finishing school.#thinking 'man itd be fucking awful to finish school if i got pregnant right now'. but not. hesitating over the baby.#if i was out of school and relatively stable and i got accidentally pregnant. then. well. Maybe.#so me doing my dad vash au where he gets accidentally pregnant and goes all in with it#thats me. sorting out my feelings on it i guess. putting them somewhere.#idk. it's a lot to think about. i dont want to condemn a child to my genetic problems. but at the same time...#i dont know. To Be Decided Later.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's oc posting time
Rue has vivid revenge fantasies. Extremely violent ones about the many ways they'd kill Nox if they ever got their paws on him. Crushing his exoskeleton under their bare paws, tearing him apart limb for limb, ripping his guts out and eating his heart while he's still alive- you name it, they've probably thought about it
These thoughts *terrify* her. It proves what Nox has always told her right, that she is a hopeless, violent, uncontrollable *monster*. That the reason she became a beast in the first place is because she is truly evil at heart, just like him
(In actuality, it's just a symptom of their PTSD, but going to therapy and actually unpacking all of that isn't an option to them. They'd rather die than actually talk abt their struggles)
So the thoughts fester in her mind for years. She thinks about it daily. It becomes like an obsession. An impulse. A need. And she begins to think that the only way to free herself from that torment is to do it. To kill him. Even if it proves Nox right
Even if it proves *her* right
So they hunt him down, trying to kill him every time they encounter each other. And every time, Nox gets away, and he taunts them. And the thoughts, the want, the *hunger* for vengeance grows stronger
The cycle continues. The thoughts never cease. She never finds peace
(At least, she *thinks* she will never find peace, but she does. Eventually. After Nox dies from his own hubris lol)
#ramblings#oc posting#rue the wolfdog#nox the spider#lmk if this needs any tags for anything. jic#also um spoilers for the story i'll probably never write ig. nox dies eventually lol#fucker gets squashed like a bug <3#he basically doomed himself tho. rue doesn't get to kill him#it makes them feel a lot better actually#like they didn't HAVE to kill. like they can just forget about his pathetic ass and simply LIVE#this isn't to say revenge is bad always. her anger was very much justified#but it was also tearing her apart. it was bad FOR HER. in the end what she needed the most was to be able to move on#and nox fucking himself over and dying is the perfect opportunity to just let go. to not dirty her paws with him any further#she doesn't have to concern herself with him because he was dead the moment he chose the path of world destruction#there's also the fact that they have support from specter and phantom as well as sonic and tails#so they didn't have to face this alone anymore#i hope my thoughts are cohesive enough lol i'm very tired rn
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
saw the other day someone say that "mary sues are for people who think everyone should treat them like they're the best ever" and buddy, trust me, at no point am i under the delusion that people will be nice to me in a normal and sufficient way. this is how i *wish* people treated me, not how I expect them to or think they should. trust me i know humanity sucks and will never be cool and nice, dont you worry, dont need to prove my point more, making me retreat even more to a fantasy world because clearly there's nothing here in humanity for me so w/e
#the crime of wanting friends and to be treated normally... ooooh how horrible.......#like i personally dont go as far as to make my self insert the most important most liked person or w/e but ik people think having#characters that treat me with basic respect. actually are concerned for my wellbeing. check up on me. want to be around me-#is apparently unreasonable to want from other people or something not sure.#apparently the bare minimum in friendship is still too unreasonable. cool.#anyways i hope humanity burns. and no beating me over the head wont make me stop saying that it'll make mE FUCKING SHOUT IT BITCH#humans: *beating me*#me: *makes up fantasy world where im liked*#humans: lmao lol rofl why do u think people should treat you well *keeps beating me*#me: *retreats even more aggressively to the fantasy world and tells them to go fuck themselves with something sharp*#humans: how dare you tell me to go fuck myself! lets keep beating you!!!#*rinse and repeat forever apparently*#i believe chimps are our closest relatives. like it makes sense. the worst ape had to be our closest relative. of course.#the one thats willing to tear its own kind apart over minor shit? yeah i believe it#but man do i wish we were closer related to bonobos sometimes........#bonobos are all peace and love w/o preaching about it like chimps- i mean humans do#if this is how its gonna be and humanity just kinda sucks how can you blame me for retreating. if this is the highest the bar goes then#fuck humans man im sticking with animals. at least they actually make sense.#i get ALL of the basic friendship needs i need from dogs. i SHOULD be able to get it from humans but bc we're closer related to chimps#we just suck more and are more cliquey so im not expecting it anymore. i dont expect niceness anymore. there you go humans. gratz.#you beat the hope in me for you out of me. i hope its what you wanted you fucking waste of space ass creature that only consumes and never#gives. anything other than the closest relatives to chimps would have made a better 'evolved' species.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
The way Tomura keeps going on about seeing the ghosts is really reminding me of an old post I made about Izuku and Tomura seeing the vestiges, almost like the paranormal - because lets face it, it sort of is - and shenanigans
(I'm not really sure about the rest of the post anymore but I still think about these scenarios lol)
#i love thinking about the boys seeing and talking to the vestiges that only they can see while everyone just looks on confused and concerned#anyway#guess i better show this now#before. yknow. before izuku los- *gets shot before i say anything else*#bnha#bnha manga spoilers#shigaraki and midoriya#IN MY HEART AND MIND I STILL BELIEVE IN VESTIGE+IZUKU+TOMURA SHENANIGANS#mettys posts#metty posts#you can tell how old the post is cuz i don't really say shiggy anymore lol
18 notes
·
View notes
Note
I miss your beautiful tan skin. 🥺I know you're half white but I really hope you haven't been bleaching it again. 😔
Protip: after going through 3 to 4 years of skin bleaching like I did, melanin usually stops producing. I will never be as tan as I was before I did this to myself. And to get it back I have to start going to the tanning salon to introduce pigment and regrow melanin. Which I did do for some years right before covid. But it's still dangerous and a tough process, and expensive. Tanning salons aren't cheap nor are they close to me anymore.
Second protip: This is so fucking incredibly rude. Not only is my skin journey my own, but it's also fucking triggering. As a mixed POC, I have been told by so many white, and even other POC people how much they love my WHITER skin to the point that I felt justified bleaching myself. The opposite is NOT better. Getting told how sad or envious my tan skin is or WAS makes me feel worse about myself, my choice to act on my internalized racism, and the struggle of morality I go through even WANTING to tan again after shunning it with bleach. Do I even deserve to tan to whatever I looked like before after doing what I did? Or when I now so abhorrently hate tanning itself as a practice and people who feel the need by society to change their skin to lighter or darker? I do not mean to unleash on you but think before you speak. I don't think it's at all okay to comment on anyone's goddamn skin as if it's something to police, question, or pressure about. Let alone what you make them go through if it's tied to their culture, race, or ethnicity..
#tired of the internet mucking up my brain about my skin#tired of the internet making me aware of it when I'm living my life as best I can now#would you comment concern on someone's weight if they had a history of struggle?#hate this#please do not enter my inbox with this again#ill just delete it#am i not mexican enough anymore lol#or is it a PRETTY thing#shit that this gets to plague me about now
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
i was thinking ab drawing one piece characters with pokemon and i already had a basic idea on who would go to who, but i decided to check the pokedex to see if i missed any pokemon i didnt think of. and then i was like lets get crazy and look at the pokedex entries. AND PLEASE LOOK AT SALAMENCE's POKEDEX ENTRY😭
"just by constantly wishing to be able to fly" like im being so serious when i tell you i bursted into tears at 2am bc of this
AND, FURTHERMORE, IN ADDITION, ETC.
ignore the Omega Ruby entry but Alpha Sapphires??? "whoever it recognizes is destined to become king"??????? i wasnt going to do aegislash for zoro bc it felt like insanely heavy handed and bc aegislash has a defense mode and i thought it wouldnt mesh well but!!!!!!! the last line😭😭😭
#anyway im not drawing this idea anymore solely bc drawing pokemon is a PAIN#one piece#girl the way i could go on for so much more about the one piece crew's pokemon is concerning LOL#pokemon
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Why is learning lines and rehearsing so fucking hard when you've got no fucking voice
#oh my god this is awful#I'm not in pain anymore thank goodness but I'm getting mildly concerned about how confident I'll be on the nights i have to perform lol
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wish I could tell if people still care or not 😭
#it's becoming difficult for me to really tell ngl#idk anymore my life is my own all my thoughts are plagued but I already decided I myself shouldn't care either lol so#I keep thinking back to that one time on my friend's birthday where I genuinely felt like I was gonna die 😭 like the pain was that bad#and like it seems silly when I look back on it now but like idk in that moment at least I could see that people cared about me#do I have to end up like that again for some semblance of understanding that the people I know love me?#because otherwise all I get is uncertainty criticism or both lmao it's like do I have to be in physical pain for you to be concerned?#since you can't understand my mental pain?#idk I'm just saying things now I feel like#my posts
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
you know, its not brought up in fics often but ted is extremely well read. he doesnt brag about it, but hes read everything from f scott fitzgerald's b sides to ayn rand's doorstoppers to the sixteen book Ender series, etc etc etc. Ted reads about as much as we see Beard reading (which. in my head is a trait that was passed on, a new focus to sharpen the mind and keep him out of trouble and his mind off drugs, something Ted offered up as a coping mechanism for when his own dad died, a way to have fun and adventure and escape without ending up in jail like Ted himself had a handful of times before, scaring the bejeezus out of his ma.)
this turned into a mini fic and i lost my train of thought but point is, Ted reads So Much and more people need to pick up on this in fics please and thank you.
#ted lasso#hes got an artistic soul!#but also anyone whos fav book is the fountainhead must be both well read and stubborn as a bull#its a slog and thats coming from someone whos read both infinite jest and les mis#im getting through it slowly but surely. mostly to stretch my story endurance before jumping into atlas shrugged#also. yes i know we have no evidence that he read all 16 ender books#but having had read them myself i know in my heart of hearts that ted absolutely finished every one of them with gusto#probably on the bus to and from games with his team back in the US#no wait hold on. he was a backup punter right? that means LOTS of time sitting on the sidelines waiting for a whole bunch of nothing#lots of time was spent watching the plays and the team and formulating im sure (which is also probably why he trusts nate so much in the#beginning. bc that used to be him sitting on the sidelines taking it all in) but also theres long stretches of no play in american football#during which he probably read like a demon to keep his grades up and keep his scholarship#so that this ma never had to worry about him away at school. He wasnt going to get into trouble anymore not like he did in high school#he had to be the man of the house and gosh darn it was he going to do it with gusto#which meant good grades and learning about life and people and spending all that free time the right way#therefore: books. an easy habit that keeps him out of trouble and keeps his mama proud. plus itd be easy to hide from coaches under his pad#if they ever had a problem with it (which im sure they would at first but once he proved he was paying attention and wormed his way in#with the team even as a reserve well. they were less eagle-eyed after that concerning the paperback-shaped lumps under his jersey)#anyway have another mini fic i guess lol#im feeling a tad verbose today
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍
#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all#literally my soul is gone or something#i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed#which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually.#ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better#alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off#like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot#like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy#moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously#but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends#i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help#idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho#like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me !#so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback#kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk#it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore#but who knows 🤷♀️#there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol#that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown#like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way#and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever#and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality#plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good#but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you#but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !
5 notes
·
View notes