#also this doc was the first doctor to bring up testing me for the Significantly Worse version of a thing I have

[tj-crochets]

I'm not iron deficient anymore!!! :D I just got the blood test results back and for once I had a fixable problem and it is fixed*!!!! *well okay my total iron saturation % is still a little low but the rest of my numbers are in the normal range! Even ferritin!! My ferritin levels have almost quadrupled and are now in the normal range!!! :D

[medical-gal]

Death by a thousand cuts

I have been thinking about writing this for months now. Even before I decided to quit the residency at my previous job.

COVID has been kicking our ass, true, but that was (is) true for most healthcare providers all around the world.

No, my struggle started a bit before that actually.

First some background, I have been working at one of the biggest most famous ID clinics in central Europe. The clinic is in a different country than I am originally from so there was a bit of cultural accommodating at the begging. But we were a big group of ID interns/residents/fellows and specialists.

I don't actually remember that much from my first year working there. And I couldn't figure out why, but then I read in some study that when u experience a high dose of stress and/or sleep deprivation for a long time, your brain kinda stopps being able to transcribe short term memory into a long term.

I was working 100hours/week, sometimes less, sometimes more. After a year and a half, when the last half I worked in the ID ER for five months, I always stayed after working 24 hours, sometimes over 36hours, and I would see and treat 70ish patients. Nobody from the older docs would help me out, nobody from other interns either bc usually they would have their own kind of hell to take care of.

The fact that basically, inexperienced doctors are taking care of patients never really phased my ex-boss. Her mantra was that if there was a problem that you cannot resolve, you can call her and she would advise you. Which most of the time was true, I must say that.

But we all have been young docs, barely out of our medical school garments, and sometimes as it happened, we could not recognize there IS a problem that maybe needs a more experienced opinion.

I am often confronted with this idea or more like a culture, of pretending that once you are an MD you don't need help and asking for it is a kind of weakness and that then you are forever on the list of WEAKLINGS.

And let me say this only once.

That's absolute bullshit.

Anyway, the first time I decided to quit I worked there for about a year and a half, I went for a long-expected holiday, I took three weeks off, had interviews and talked with my bf about my options.

Second thing...my man, bless his beard, would support me no matter what. He is almost 10 years older than me, so he has more work experience and I find it reassuring to discuss stuff like this with him bc I know he will not sugarcoat it. He said that I should dig my heels in and last at least one more year till the end of my "internship". As a "resident" who worked at this specific department, I wouldn't have a problem finding another job. We r basically the equivalent of a french legion of medical professionals (when u work in this specific department and everyone knows it, I will come back to that later).

So I took his advice. Thankfully as a part of our training, one of those parts is a year-long internship at the internal medicine department, which I did shortly after we had that conversation and guys, that was a revelation of how medicine and just...work and life can be experienced. There were enough docs for a floor, an attending who had the time to manage and advise us. I´ve grown that year as a doc so much. Other internships were mandatory so I could have become (equivalent of) a resident, and it was a general surgery, anesthesiology, radiology, microbiology etc. But I did them all and became a resident.

The moment I came back to our clinic, my boss would put me in our outpatient department. Which I have never worked on before. The head of the department has quit a few months before, and I had no idea what to do there, bc it's a very different type work. The only thing my boss told me when I spoke of my concerns were "you will learn".

Thankfully the previous head of the department was a good friend of mine and she would always answer my questions and requests. Suddenly I no longer had to deal with the hectic life of an ID floor or ER, no sepsis, meningitis, etc.

Most of my patients were the chronic type...Lyme, chlamydia, mycoplasma... let's say it literally drained the life out of me. But I managed. Also, I started to work for their outpatient office which takes care of patients with chronic hepatatis. That I enjoyed more.

I also started to dip my toes in vaccinology, either planned like for travel but I started to be more interested in preventive care in the immunocompromised and my own phantasmagoria was to make a palliative care team in our hospital. Bc, we had none. And then a wonderful thing happened, other docs, older experienced, great at their work, started to refer their patients to me specifically.

There were more examples of the utter a complete FUCK U(s) which were kindly provided either by the system or by the head of the department or the hospital.

Then covid hit and the shit hit the interstellar space.

I still can't make myself remember the first few months bc it actually causes me to go into a rage fit, and honestly, I am done with that kind of negativity.

I hold out for a year. Year of such shitty treatment from the chief and our hospital head. No thank you- s or you are doing a good job or we r all on the same ship.

No.

People will say that I quit bc of the money. And that's not true, tho it did irk me a bit. All the other ID specialists working at different hospitals would get covid bonuses every month. We got jack shit. Again, the best biggest most know ID clinic. We were the first and oftern the ONLY ones who would test for/diagnose/hospitalize/treat a patient who had covid FOR MONTHS in the beginning.

I mean, the medical community is small, the ID community even smaller so yes, we were able to compare and contrast the work at different ID departments in other hospitals bc our friends worked there. And all of them would go speechless when they would hear from us what we were living thru.

At one point at the beginning of the pandemic, ALL the ambulances would go thru our ER department and we were supposed to decide where the patient should go.

AN EXAMPLE

Ambulance with a woman who has known colon cancer, had a fever, stomach as a rock and is projectile vomiting. I was supposed to decide where she should go and the surgeon would be super pissed when I said that I don't think she has COVID but without PCR I can't be sure but I think there is a bigger pressing issue. I remember him saying:

"well if anyone else gets infected at our department and dies, it's on you."

fun.

There were other examples of seriously stressful episodes which I and my coworkers lived thru, for which we were not trained for, advised, or properly supervised. At a certain point, I started to take anxiolytics before and during my all-nighters bc I didn't know what I would do with all that stress which was so callously shat on me and my coworkers.

For a few months, I stopped working nights, only thru the mercy of my coworkers who saw how exhausted I was and would take my shifts.

Anyway, after only two months I had to start working nights bc I needed the money. The basic pay for docs was just not enough without the extra from night shifts. Talk about exploiting.

The moment however when I decided to QUIT, when I was DONE, when I actually heard my heart break, was the moment at the end of the previous year. They decided to start vaccinating in our tiny small vaccination centre. Let's say a "shit storm" brewing is the light version of events that ensued.

But basically, as I was trying to discuss with my boss that we are all exhausted, that this wave is not slowing down and that throwing more work at us, the docs and nurses and other staff, who are overworked, is not a good idea,

What she basically said to me is that who says things like that is lazy and that if she can handle it everyone must be also.

The thing is..most of us were at the bring. Some would handle it with casual and calous sex, drugs (legal or not), a bottle of wine before sleep. A coworker ended up with antipsychotics.

But u know,

we were all lazy apperently.

I realized there is no way out of this other than quitting. I could not continue being so tired and sad all the time. I took two weeks off, really thought about it. Had diarrhoea and nausea for a week as I realized I will have to quit :D

On a Monday I came back, handed in my notice. Basically what she told me and how she reacted made me realized how right the decision was.

I had to stay there for another three months bc that's the law, but my mood changed significantly.

I got another job in a smaller ID department, working with amazingly kind people, but that's another story.

But that was the only interview I actually looked for and did. I, however, did get several job offers from different types of medicine. From heads of different departments in my old hospital to smaller general medicine chain offices who are looking for ID specialists, to insurance companies.

Like I said, french legion.

Or Runway and your boss is Miranda Pristley. Once u survive that, u survive anything.

But at my old work they would keep hitting you with wave after wave of passive agressive comments about how if u quit, u wont be able to find anything as"prestigious" as this.

There were many other exmaples of a shitty and questionable situations which were treated as "normal" but there is not point on getting on that rage train.

Contrary as it might seem, I am greatful I got to live thru this, good and bad, bc now I know what I am and am not willing to sacrifice for a job. No matter how much I might love it.

[rex101111]

Doctor visits (and what purpose they serve)

Rating: T

Summery: Anji, Baiken and Eri visit the doctor for a perfectly routine check-up.

Faust grows very sick of two of them, for different reasons.

AN: Finally. FUCKING FINALLY I ON GOD FINISHED IT. THE FIRST ERI PIECE I DID IN A WHILE. AND ALSO A BAIKEN ANJI FIC. HECK YEAH. also first time writing Faust let’s hope I did okay. enjoy.

ALSO. 50TH STORY ON AO3. HECK YEAH. okay here you go.

Faust was sure nothing gave him as much trouble as giving children a physical. Not because of the children themselves, of course not. They were always nervous the first time, of course, but with a light dosage of silly faces and liberal application of cheap magic tricks, they always came around.

No, the children were never the problem, their parents on the other hand…

Whether they were nervous themselves, protective, or worst of all bored, they never failed to prove to be a headache during what was supposed to be a quick and easy check-up. And that was under normal circumstances.

And, as most things tended to be for Faust, today was in no way normal.

Firstly, the child. Forgetting any of her outstanding physical traits, Faust had seen many varieties of weird shit and a horn was comparatively mundane, she was quite unlike any child he had ever met before. She flinched and quaked at every metal object in his office, as if it was meant for her. She barely spoke a word since she sat on the medical bed, only mumbling her answers when he asked her questions about her health and diet.

She had signs of malnutrition (thin limbs, underweight, slightly pale skin), but they were clearly in remission for the past few months or so. She had faint signs of every form of child abuse he had ever had to deal with in his office, but all of them muted and in recovery, slow as it was.

And then, as he went on, she started to straighten her spine and look him in the eye…hole more directly. She still shook when he brought out his stethoscope, but it seemed controlled, somehow.

About half way through, he decided he’ll give her two lollipops, an extra brave girl deserved an extra reward.

…secondly the…well, he hesitated to say parent. If only because he had no idea how the person in question would react to the title. Baiken and Anji could never find their way to him quietly, it was always a big thing. He either had to stich up a life-threatening wound while Baiken cursed at him, or untie some mess Anji had somehow gotten himself into.

And now, they bring this interesting child into his practice. The bright red eyes made some very loud klaxons blare in his head, but every other thing about her gave him pause. She was dressed comfortably, in a ruby red kimono, and was hiding from him behind Baiken’s leg. Children being nervous around a stranger was normal, and Faust would readily admit that he was very strange indeed, but something about her posture and how tightly she had gripped the fabric, not to mention the hint of bandages peaking from her sleeves, made a different set of warning sirens sound off.

Anji kneeled down and patted the girl on the head, the gesture seeming to calm her, before he looked at Faust, “Doctor!” He cheerfully greeted, “so good to see you after such a long time!” He pointed towards the young girl like he was presenting something fantastic, “You see, me and Baiken had recently added a tiny companion to our merry little band,” he graciously ignored Baiken clicking her tongue, “and well, it just hit us the other day that we don’t know anything about her medical condition!” Anji stood up dramatically and puffed himself up for something no doubt very long winded, “so you see, we came here for a very important task! We need-“

“She needs a check-up,” Baiken had gruffly surmised, putting her hand on the child’s head, “you got a free slot today or what?”

Anji visibly deflated, one could almost hear the high pitched whine of rushing helium, before he cleared his throat, “uh, yes, that.” He shuffled his feet quietly while Baiken shook her head with a wry smirk and Eri looked between them, wide eyed and confused, “so…do you?”

As it so happened, he did, so now here he was, testing the little girl’s, Eri’s, reflexes while Baiken attempted to glare a hole in the side of his head, her sword clicking in and out of her scabbard with repeated flicks of her thumb.

“Better watch that hammer Doc,” the samurai growled lowly, narrowing her eye at him, “she makes a sound of pain and you stop feeling any,” teeth grinding against each other and an extra loud click, “permanently.”

The threat itself would have usually gone ignored. Faust was used to Baiken’s almost comical mistrust of medical professionals, he long figured that whatever cost her an arm and an eye soured her on the whole business and he could hardly begrudge her a bit of grumbling in light of that.

With Eri here, the threat seemed to hold significantly more weight. Every time he pulled some new device or tool she refused to let him anywhere near the girl until he told her exactly what it was and exactly what he intended to do with it to her. He had to repeatedly stamp down his frustration with her lack of knowledge, if she hadn’t made a habit of deliberately skipping physical checks, she would know nothing in this office could hurt a fly…well, unless it fell on the fly but that would be hardly fair to blame him on.

And honestly, it would have been heartwarming, if it didn’t make this check take up much, much longer then it needed to. That being said, he made a point of making as small an impact as he could on Eri’s knees, the legs kicking up lightly in response. “Very good dear.”

He got up and walked to his papers, sitting in a chair as he started writing down his newest data while pointedly ignoring Baiken continuing to glare at his back. As well as her reaching away from her sword to rub a single, slow circle on Eri’s back. A gesture that seemed to visibly and quickly calm the girl down.

For all the wonderful, odd things Faust had seen, the one thing he never imagined he’d see is someone that Baiken actually tried to comfort. Well, aside from the times Anji had brushed death’s door in his clinic and she held his hand while he recovered. But then again, that was an exception…and then again, Anji always seemed to be an exception when Baiken was concerned.

That is, apparently, until Eri showed up.

The dancer himself was waiting outside, no doubt yammering Fanny’s ear off, and the look he gave Faust as he handed over Eri and Baiken was…odd. There was something tense in Anji as he saw them off into the room, though that was quickly hidden as Faust decided to give Anji his full attention for a moment.

He pushed those thoughts aside to return to the matter at hand. He opened one last drawer, taking out a syringe. Considering how Eri reacted to everything else he pulled out…he almost feared her reaction to this more than Baiken’s. Almost.

Taking a deep breath, bracing himself for the worst, he turned around on his chair with the syringe in one hand, the other raising up in a gesture meant to calm, “alright dear we’re almost done.” Since his head was still attached to his neck, though Eri froze on the bed, he hazarded to keep going, “all I need to do is take a small blood-“

“No!”

Things happened very quickly after that, like dominos getting blasted by a leaf blower towards a very big and red button. Eri curled almost completely inwards on herself, shivering in panic and shuffling away.

Baiken looked at her in alarm, looked at him, looked at the needle, and then she glare-fast-deathSWORD!

Shink!

Through some miracle Faust did not dare to question, he somehow managed to pull out his clipboard and place it in the path of Baiken’s strike, and further, in a display of what could only be divine slapstick, the sword was stuck in the board instead of cleaving it clean in half and going on its merry way to do the same to his bag and face.

Though by the sounds of straining wood and low growls, along with the chair he sat in making some very distressing sounds of its own, that miracle wouldn’t last for long.

“Five seconds.” The samurai hissed while her arm quaked trying to continue its trajectory, ”explain the fucking needle.”

He didn’t need to be told twice, “blood tests!” He squeaked with no regard for his dignity, “need blood for blood tests! General health! Vaccinations! Any other minor health problem that can’t be determined with a non-invasive examination!” The explanation tumbled out of his mouth in a hurried panic, a flower bloomed at the top of his head, its petals wilting, as he smiled a rictus grin under his bag. “One point five milliliters! Tops! Promise!”

A few heart-attack inducing moments passed, and then Baiken finally, mercifully, retracted her sword. “Hmph.” She huffed tonelessly, before turning her head to the still shivering form of Eri on the medical bed.

Almost instantly, all the tension in Baiken’s shoulders vanished and she sighed. His head swirled in lingering panic trying to square this Baiken with the one he was used to, finding little success.

Turning his attention to the young girl, he finally gathered enough of his wits to feel very worried. “Oh dear…” He looked between Eri and Baiken, the latter stone like as she stared at the young girl, and raised his nearly sliced clipboard in her direction, “uh, should we call Anji or-“

“I’ll handle it.”

He felt like he got slapped by a fish, which was odd since May wasn’t due for a check-up for another week, “what?”

“I said I’ll handle it.” She repeated tiredly, sheathing her sword and walking towards Eri with an oddly calm stride. As she reached the bed, she carefully and slowly lifted her hand and touched Eri’s shoulder, the young girl flinching almost violently at the contact. “Hey, kiddo,” Baiken, undeterred by the reaction, whispered gently to the young girl. “Kiddo, it’s just me.”

The sheer difference compared to what was a person trying to rip him in half not a minute ago was nearly surreal, and he had never heard Baiken talk like that to anyone. And yet here she is, slowly rubbing circles on Eri’s shoulder with her thumb until the young girl took enough control of her hiccupping sobs to look up at her.

The relief Eri showed towards Baiken was even more surreal, he should probably check if he mistook his morning aspirin for something a bit more potent. “I-“ The halting voice of Eri knocked him out of his incredulity, the girl sniffing miserably. “I-I can’t…” Something dark and stomach-churning passed her expression, “It’s…it’s just like-“

“It isn’t.” Baiken declared quietly, her voice going tight, “The doc ain’t nothing like…” Her shoulders bunch up for a moment before relaxing again, “…he ain’t nothing like him Eri.” Baiken looks at him over her shoulder, still in his chair waiting to see if getting up would be worth the effort. “He’s a bit of a kook, but he’s good at his job…everything considered.”

Faust did his dignity a favor and choose to take that as a compliment.

“…I trust him.” Faust pushed down the minor elation at hearing that, Baiken was in the middle of something and a victory dance would probably undermine it. “I wouldn’t bring you here if I didn’t Eri.” She then put her hand on Eri’s head, mussing up her ivory hair. “I promise.”

He had the slightest feeling he was intruding on something, so he elected to mess with the buttons on his jacket when Eri started to wipe her face. Part of him was happy that Baiken could find someone to be this gentle with. All that anger building up in her was a recipe for both misery and high blood pressure.

Another part of him, a part that remembered a small, motionless body on an operating table, couldn’t help but…worry. Baiken was strong enough to defend herself…but could she-?

“Doc.”

He nearly ripped a button when he fell off his chair in surprise, though he quickly caught himself and stood up to his full height, nearly hitting the ceiling light. “Ye-“ He cleared his throat mid-squawk. “Yes?”

“Get another needle,” She continued, sitting on the bed next to a now calm, but still sniffling, Eri. “Do me before you get to her.” She raised her scarred eyebrow at him. “I’m due for physical, ain’t I?”

It took him a moment to catch on, but soon he relaxed his posture and clapped his hands in realization, “as a matter of fact you are, now that I think of it!” He went back to the drawer to take out another syringe. He then sat on his chair again, backwards, and wheeled himself before his two patients. He pulled out a handkerchief for Eri out of one of his pockets before he went on cheerfully, “And a lucky thing that you are Baiken, because this affords me to explain to Eri exactly what I need to do.”

He looked at Eri, another flower, healthier than the last one, blooming on his head as he leaned slightly towards her, “would you like that Eri? I promise it’s very interesting.”

Eri stared at him for a moment, her eyes lingering on the flower, before she sniffed one last time and wiped her face, nodding quietly.

“Wonderful!” He exclaimed, taking out a cotton swab and soaking it with rubbing alcohol, “first things first, we need to clean and sterilize the area where I intend to put the needle.” He wiggled his fingers rapidly and waved his head back and forth, “there’s all sorts of creepy crawly germs on your skin, and they have no business getting into your body, so we need to make sure they aren’t anywhere near the needle.”

Eri, to his eternal relief, actually giggled a little, her lips lifting up slightly in not-quite-a-smile. She watched him rub the swab on the crook of Baiken’s elbow, “why there?”

“Excellent question my dear!” Faust praised with a raised finger, before pointing to the blue vein in the crook, “you see, this vein is in an easy to access location, and is almost flush with the skin, so there’s no danger of putting the needle through anything important.” He then took the needle and began piercing Baiken’s skin. “And now…”

Eri watched him pull back on the back of the syringe, the tube filling with blood for a moment before he took it out and placed the swab on it.

Baiken, naturally, never made a sound or even twitched during the whole process. Didn’t so much as breath in to brace for it. If Faust hadn’t just finished extracting blood, and knew Baiken well enough, he would have been very concerned. Well, more concerned about her than he usually was at any rate.

“There! Now we just tape it down to stop the bleeding,” saying so he took out a length of clear tape out of another pocket and used it to hold the cotton swab in place. “And voila!” He stood on his feet and took a dramatic bow, “all finished.”

Eri’s eyes shone with admiration, getting caught up in Faust’s performance and clapping excitedly for him. He showed his gratitude for her applause with the required grace, taking another two bows. Baiken scoffed quietly but didn’t interrupt, Faust knew her well enough not to be offended by the fact she didn’t clap.

“Alright then.” Faust said finally, sitting back down on the chair and taking out the second syringe, “now for your turn dear.” He looked at her arms, covered from wrist to armpit in bandages, freshly changed even, and made an effort to not be obvious as he braced for what he would see underneath, “if you would please?”

He tried to make the request as gentle as possible, but still Eri’s mouth pressed into a thin line, her hands freezing mid-clap before grabbing her forearms tightly. She looked at him for a long moment, before looking aside at Baiken. The samurai smirked, the expression strangely warm, and nodded briefly.

Taking a breath to steady herself, Eri began to unravel her bandages with a determined look on her face.

What Faust saw underneath them made his skin crawl and his blood boil. The cruelty was evident on every scar, but what really got stuck in his craw was the precision. Whoever made those marks on Eri had a hand as steady as a rock, not a single mark of hesitation or second guessing. Such precision was born of either practice, or innate talent, and he wasn’t sure which option made him more sick to his stomach.

(He felt more than a little hypocritical, but if there was one thing he and Bald-the good doctor agreed on, was that such marks should never appear on children.)

“Doctor?” The small voice nearly made him gag from the memories it brought up, but he managed to take back control of himself quick enough for his vision to coalesce enough to see Eri looking up at him in concern, “are you okay? You were quiet for a long time…”

He opened his mouth before he closed it, his mind drawing a blank. He looked aside at Baiken, who raised an eyebrow at him, her look half dubious and half worried herself.

“I’m fine dear.” He finally managed, waving away her worry, “I just remembered something, don’t worry about it, alright?” He waited for her to nod, before returning it more energetically, “wonderful, so, back to business.”

The swab, “it’s a bit cold and might tickle a bit, okay?”

A quick, halting nod. Followed by a quick burst of laughter.

“Pump your fist a bit dear?”

Biting her tongue, she made an adorable effort of making and opening a fist. The way she did it made it clear that she never had to fight anyone, which made the strain in his chest unclench a bit.

“Right…” The needle in his hand began moving, “brace yourself dear…”

Despite the courage she showed before, some of it crumbled in the face of the sharp point so close to her flesh. There was no uncertainty in her eyes, she knew exactly how the needle would feel.

Faust breathed through his nose and counted to five.

Almost as if by instinct, Eri buried her face in Baiken’s nearby shoulder, her free hand grabbing on to the fabric much like she did when she first showed up. But her other arm stayed where it was, she didn’t try to pull it away or hide it from the doctor, she simply did as he instructed and braced herself.

Three. He’ll give her three lollipops.

He grabbed hold of her offered arm by the wrist, and brought the needle close to her vein, “deep breath,” Eri did as he said, and the second she finished taking in air he finally sticks the needle in. The girl flinches, but only digs her face deeper into Baiken’s shoulder with a restrained whine.

He takes out one point five milliliters, Baiken’s eye welded to the tiny measurement lines, and takes the needle out. “Almost done.” With professional efficiency, he stops the bleeding with a cotton ball, before covering it with a Band-Aid.

A pink one, with a picture of a unicorn on it.

“…really doc?” Baiken is half-way to smirking, but the tone of her voice makes it look like a grimace, “what, you got a stash of those?”

“Of all the things I do, this is what draws you up short?” He asks innocently, gesturing at himself. “Besides, I thought it would be appropriate.” Baiken opened her mouth before closing it and making a yeah good point shrug, Faust then turned to his patient, “now Eri, how are you feeling?” He tapped her wrist lightly, the Band-Aid smiling up at her as she looked at it, “any pain? Itching? Discomfort?”

The girl shook her head, “N-No, I’m okay.” She takes one last, lingering look at the unicorn, her lips twitching upwards for a moment, before picking up her bandages to re-wrap her forearms with practiced ease, and then looking at the doctor with a bit of apprehension, “i-is there anything else?”  

“Oh no,” The doctor waved off, standing up from his chair with a clap of his hands, “we’re all done for today, and you were very brave.” He leaned down to her eye-level, “and do you know what you get for being very brave?”

Eri looked at him doubtfully, before shaking her head.

Without a word, Faust pulled out three red, plastic covered lollipops, and handed them over to the wide-eyed girl, “a well-deserved reward, that’s what.”

“Damn straight,” Baiken agreed, patting the little girl on the back with a toothy grin, “good job kid, you’ve earned it.” Then her face did something that nearly made Faust’s eye twitch, it went stern, “just don’t eat ‘em all right way yeah? There’s gonna be dinner soon.”

Upon hearing Baiken, of all people, say something that stereotypically parental, Faust could feel his patience for the universe at large rapidly approaching its limit. He took Eri down from the bed and began ushering the two of them out of his office. “Alright, then let’s leave, we’ve kept Anji waiting for long enough.”

Eri unwrapped one of her rewards, stashing the other two in the clothing folds on her chest, and popped it into her mouth as they walked. Baiken looked down at her with an oddly soft expression that left her face as soon as they caught sight of Anji and Fanny.

The dancer was engaged in what seemed like a very exciting and very one sided conversation, the nurse smiling politely at him with all the energy of someone who has been on the rack all damn day and just wants his executioner to get a move on already. If Anji noticed, and he almost certainly did, he made a great show of not being bothered by it.

His focus shifted instantly when Eri and Baiken came close enough, Anji’s smile lighting up his face as he walked towards them, “Eri! So good to see you again!” He kneeled down to meet her gaze properly, “and I see you’ve a reward as well!” He put his hand on her head and warmly ruffled her hair, smile reaching his eyes, “good job dear.”

Faust found this sight slightly easier to stomach, Anji had always been the more emotionally open of the duo. But still, to see those two this attached to this little girl…something about it boded ill, and he wasn’t sure why.

“Shorry it took sho long…” Eri twiddled her thumbs with the lollipop still in her mouth, “it was kinda shcary…”

“Oh don’t worry about it sweetheart.” Anji waved off with a chuckle, “I had some very pleasant company to pass the time with.” He turned around to smile at Fanny, “isn’t that right, miss nurse?”

“Oh yes Mr. Mito.” Fanny nodded cheerfully while writing something on a nearby clipboard, “it was a very engaging conversation.” Anji nodded back, but as soon as he turned his head to look back at Eri, the nurse lifted the clipboard to show what she wrote, the polite smile unmoving on her face.

It read, in very fancy but firm writing: “Never leave me alone with him again. Ever.” The word “ever” was underlined. Four times. With a separate, red marker.

Faust mentally penciled tomorrow off for Fanny, she’s earned her own little “lollipop”, so to speak. “I’m happy you were patient with us Mr. Mito,” He began, before he sighed, “but I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to wait a bit longer.”

Eri simply blinked at him innocently still busy with her treat, while Baiken and Anji snapped their gazes to him in unison, like a pair of hawks on a hunt, shoulders tense and eyes sharp.

“Nothing serious!” He was quick to assure, the two relaxing only slightly, “It’s simply that Ms. Baiken reminded she is well past due her own checkup.” He turned to Baiken with a smile under his mask that was perfectly professional, “isn’t that right, miss Baiken?”

The samurai’s stare quickly morphed into something that screamed me and my big mouth before she bared her teeth and shook her head, “you know you ain’t going anywhere near me, yeah?”

“I am fully aware yes.” Faust nodded diplomatically, “but the fact remains that you do need a check-up, so I am offering a compromise,” he gestures towards his ever-loyal nurse, “I think that you will find Nurse Fanny to be entirely professional, and as a female physician she would know better what you would find uncomfortable or not.” He clears his throat. “Better than me, at any rate.”

 Baiken looked at Fanny, who had jumped to attention with a slightly overeager smile on her face at being called to action, a bit dubiously, but before she could voice her misgivings, Anji jumped in with a hand on her shoulder, “excellent idea doctor!” He squeezed her shoulder with a smile that was only slightly sharp at the edges, “if we’re here and worried about our health, why not make the most of the visit?”

Baiken shoved her elbow into her partner’s stomach with a scowl, “I don’t need-“

“After all,” Anji continued smoothly, with one arm rubbing where the elbow had impacted while he smiled a bit more sharply, “since we put Eri through this rigmarole, why shouldn’t we do the same?” Anji leaned a bit more into Baiken’s space, and while the dancer while still smiling Faust was certain the samurai began to sweat a little, “all in the interest of health, of course.”

After a moment of heated glaring, Baiken visibly sagged with a sigh, “fine, whatever.” She leaned out of Anji’s grasp, the dancer letting her go easily, and turned to Fanny, “alright nurse, let’s get this over with yeah? I got other shit to-“ A tug at her kimono stopped her, and she looked down to see Eri grasping the white cloth with a worried look on her face, “…don’t worry kiddo.” She mussed Eri’s hair a bit, “I’m just making noise, I’ll be back out before-“

“Can I come with you?” Eri interjected quickly, as if saying it any slower would drain her courage, “I-I mean, I was scared at the doctor’s, s-so, I want to be there with you too.” She worried the white cloth in her hands and looked down at her feet, “y-you know, i-if you get scared.”

The idea of Baiken being afraid of something as mundane as a checkup, for all of her bluster, was just this side of ludicrous, but Faust managed to hold on to his laughter long enough for Baiken to sigh quietly again, much softer this time, turning to Fanny with a light smirk, “is it okay if I bring a guest?”

Fanny smiled warmly as she opened the door to the examination room, “of course! Little Eri won’t be a bother at all, please!” She motioned for the two to come in, “let’s get started, shall we?”

Baiken scoffed, “ya hear that kid? You’re my backup.” She smiled with her teeth at the little girl, who nodded excitedly at the gesture instead of cowering in fear as most would in response to one of Baiken’s smiles, and started following her guardian as they entered the room.

Anji spoke up, “maybe I can-“

“You stay here,” Baiken stabbed at him irritably, “your bull earned you an extra half hour of boredom, now sit.” She glared him down into the nearest plastic chair, and turned back to the room…before sparing her nurse one last doubtful look, “…you don’t still have that huge-ass needle, right?”

“Oh don’t worry miss Baiken!” Fanny reassured as she began to close the door, “I only use that for emergencies.”

The last thing of Baiken to be seen before the doors closed is her face morphing into the very picture of deep concern.

And thus, the two men were left to themselves. Anji went to a nearby chair, sat on it very slowly and deliberately, and turned to Faust with a very thin smile, “you have the look of a man with a lot on his mind, doctor.” Anji’s smile grow wider but stayed as thin as paper as he patted the pale yellow plastic chair to his left in invitation, “how about you have a seat and you can unload all of those worries to your old friend Anji, eh?”

Anji Mito was certainly very friendly, of that Faust would gladly attest, but his friend? That was stretching it a bit, “I’ll stand, Mr. Mito, thank you.” He took out the vial of blood he took from Eri out of his pocket and moved it in his palm for a moment, “and yes, I have a great number of worries to bring to your attention.”

Anji stared at him for a moment, before something in his eyes shifted and changed, the angle of his gaze sharper than it was a moment ago. Wordlessly, he motioned for Faust to begin, his smile painted on.

Faust knew subtlety would be a waste of time, so he went straight to it. “She’s a Gear.” Not a question, but simply a statement of fact. He looked down at the vial, the color in it shifting in the florescent light of his practice in ways that normal blood simply did not. “Is That Man involved in this?”

“Ha!” Anji barked out harshly, clapping his hands once, “well, aren’t we perceptive! Good catch doctor!” His smile opened up and showed a few teeth, “did the red eyes and horn give it away?”

Faust clenched his free hand but kept his calm, “answer the question Mr. Mito.”

Anji was quiet for a moment, before his smile shrunk slightly and he shook his head, “no, I’m intimately familiar with his work. Trust me, Asuka had nothing to do with this.” He laughed a little nervously, “if he did, we’d be on the run from Mr. Badguy right now.”

Faust sighed, conceding the point, “fair enough.” He moved to his desk to shuffle a few of the notes he’s made about Eri during her check-up. “What information do you have about where she came from?”  

“Next to nothing.” Anji answered almost too cheerfully, “the circumstances of us meeting Eri sort of…put a damper on any effort to find out about her past.” He coughed into his palm, “it was part of the reason I brought her to you doctor.” A smile as sweet as arsenic stretched his face, “would it be too much trouble to ask you to send that blood sample to Illyria?”

Faust rubbed his forehead over his paper back with a weary sigh, “I’ll try to get it to Paradox directly.” He was beginning to understand Baiken’s short temper more and more, “…regarding those circumstances…” Anji’s smile slipped right off, “…I’m guessing she came into your company from…the person who gave her those scars?”

Anji blinked at the doctor for a moment, and then smiled again, this time a bit more honestly, “yes, those would be the broad strokes.” He laughed a bit coldly, something in his eyes far away, “I’d rather keep the bloody details to myself, if you wouldn’t mind.” He looked at Faust from the corner of his eye, tone reassuring, “purely for your own safety of course, plausible deniability and all that.”

Faust grit his teeth, but decided to let that particular battle die in favor of more pressing concerns, “how long have you been traveling with Eri?”

Anji straightened his posture and nodded briefly, “six months.”

“Ah, how taller has she grown in that time?”

“Not an inch.”

Faust nearly fell backwards from shock. Of all the things Gears were known for, rapid maturation and growth was foremost of them. Yet Eri looked no older than 7 years of age. “…stunted growth?” He muttered in disbelief, cold sweat on his brow. “In a Gear?”

“Another reason to come to you, specifically.” Anji answered plainly, his smile going flat and his gaze burning a hole in the wall in front of him. “I’m no medical expert, but something tells me those scars might have something to do with it.”

Faust gripped his table nearly hard enough to dent the metal, only barely keeping a grip on his control with a few deep breathes and a glass of water. Anji politely looking away just long enough for Faust to pull his mask up to drink.

After a moment, Faust walked towards Anji and finally took the seat he was offered next to him, sitting down heavily with his head in his hands and his knees drawn up to his ears.

Anji waited without a word, his eyes glued to the door his two girls had vanished behind, but Faust could still feel his gaze, somehow, boring a hole into him as well. Faust shook his head again and straightened up, looking down at Anji, “there was another wound, on her shoulder.” Faust stopped for a reaction, but only got a raised eyebrow, “it was fresher than the rest, what happened?”

“Why didn’t you ask Baiken?”

“It was a closed, clean wound, it was not my place to ask unprompted questions of my patients.” Faust explained tensely, “And I didn’t want to upset Eri besides,” that earned him an agreeing hum from Anji at last, “how did it happen?”

“A few opportunistic young men thought it a good way to earn a lot of money in a very short amount of time by throwing themselves at Baiken and myself,” Anji shrugged, though he stiffly looked away as he did, “…poor Eri got caught in the middle.”

“Assassins.” Faust bit out between his teeth, “Eri got caught in the middle of a fight you had with assassins.”

“She was kept safe the whole time.” Anji tossed straight back, finally meeting the doctor’s gaze again. “It ended well, like it always does, doctor.”

“You and I both know that’s a load of nonsense, Mr. Mito.” Anji’s eyebrows knitted together and his lips drew into a thin line. “Does Eri know how to defend herself?”

Anji laughed, utterly mirthless, “have you seen her? You want us to teach that girl how to fight?”

“Are you and Baiken going to change your lifestyle?” Faust forged on, his nerves on edge, flashes of a bloody surgical table and a horribly small body bag on his mind, “if not, are you simply going to continue to expose Eri to all this danger? Do you take her out on bounty hunting missions with you?” He nearly pressed his face to Anji, who simply stared at him stone faced, “that girl is completely dependent on you two, have you any concern for her safety?”

“Doctor.”

Anji Mito vanished.

In his place was a man with his face, but not his eyes. They were the same color and shape, but they suddenly threatened to swallow Faust whole with the sheer emptiness he saw there.

There was a hand on the collar of his shirt, pulling him along as the man that was not Anji Mito stood up from his chair. Not a trace of the flighty dancer remained, and in his place was the man that spent a significant period of his life hiding in shadows and whispers.

He spoke, and there was the hint of dried blood on his tongue as he did, “as you said, that girl is dependent on the two of us,” the man narrowed his cold, empty eyes, “be certain, we know that very well, knew it from the moment she came into our care.” The hand on his collar tightened its grip, “make no mistake, every effort we’ve made since then had been to ensure that she is safe, that she is happy.”

Finally, something filled those abyssal eyes, anger.

“That girl is everything we could have been, that girl has a future not yet stained with blood and secrets, eyes not yet worn and hollow, and I intend to make sure it stays that way.” He bared his teeth, and Faust felt like he was facing a dangerous animal, “so don’t you dare think for a moment that either of us would treat her callously.”

Finally, impossibly, Faust found his tongue, “you think you can protect her from everything?” He gripped the hand clenching his collar, “with the life you lead? Are you that delusional?”

“With all due respect,” the animal growled, something vicious and cruel crawling up his throat, “you are not the first person I’d ask regarding the safety of children,” his heart leapt into his throat, but the man kept going, “you are hardly the expert there, Doctor Baldhead.”

It took every inch of restraint he had, but somehow Faust kept from pulling a scalpel from his pocket to slice open the throat in front of him.

His point apparently made, the man that was not Anji Mito released Faust, and sat back down without a word to look at the door again. A few breathless moments passed as Faust looked down at him and got his breathing back under control, finally letting out a sigh, “…I will admit, my judgement is clouded from…past experiences,” he shook his head, “…but I stand by what I said, you can’t protect her forever.”

Another heavy moment passed, nearly crushing the both of them…before Anji Mito returned with a weightless laugh, “no, I suppose not.” He looked up at the doctor, a mirthless smirk on his face, “but we can protect her long enough to make a path for her to follow.”

Faust looked down at the man for a moment, shaking his head before beginning to walk to his desk, “what path would that be?” He reached his desk, and turned around to lean on it to look at Anji, “because from where I sit, there’s two.” He held up one finger, “one; she stays be your side, which means you need to teach her all she needs to know to be able to keep pace with you two.” He grits his teeth, “and all the bloody details that would include.”

Anji met Faust’s gaze evenly, but his hands gripped the cloth of his lap.

“And second,” he held up the second finger, “…is that you let her go, put her somewhere safe, where she would never need to raise a hand to harm anyone, that she would never need to protect herself again…” He stopped, something finally clicking to place, “…and never see you two again.”

On Anji Mito’s nearly inscrutable face, something like sadness passed for a brief moment. It was gone as soon as it appeared, and another paper smile took its place, “whatever path she’ll have, it will have to be her choice, wouldn’t you agree, doctor?” Another mirthless chuckle, “from what little I know of her life before we found her…she’s had enough of her life dictated for her, methinks.”

Faust sympathized with his nurse, because after that relatively short conversation with Anji Mito, he felt ready to curl into a ball and sleep the rest of the week away. He could have let that conversation end there, let himself end the day with at least a bit of sound mind, but something was eating at him, a question he knew he had no right to ask. That was utterly unprofessional of him to even consider asking.

But, then again, he’s been plenty unprofessional today, what’s a bit more?

Taking a breath to brace, he once more dunked his head into the shark tank that was Anji Mito’s headspace. “The person who gave Eri those scars…” He started, his grip on the table tightening, “…do you know anything about them?”

“Oh? Him?” Anji asked innocently, as if he hadn’t given that a thought in ages, “ah, I wouldn’t worry too much doctor.” The way he said that, and the smile it came with, only made Faust worry more, “last I saw of him, he was laying on a street somewhere, bleeding out of a hole between his eyes.”

Faust blinked at Anji, whatever tension and anger he gain from examining Eri deflating like a particularly sad whoopee cushion.

“I’d put him out of your head, doctor.” He turned to him with a smile as bright as a flickering florescent bulb, a hint of that emptiness back in his gaze, “I know I did.”

Before Faust could question-no, scratch that-call bullshit on that, the door to the examination room opened, revealing a slightly annoyed Baiken, a satisfied Fanny, and Eri still sucking on her lollipop.

“There they are!” Anji exclaimed, his cheer back on his face in full force, and Faust could even believe it was genuine this time, as he went to Baiken and Eri, “so! How did it go? Any sharp or metal things go into anywhere unpleasant?” He was rewarded with a smack upside the head from a very unamused Baiken, which only got a laugh out of him, “sorry, sorry, I couldn’t…” He stopped of a sudden, looking at Baiken’s face in confusion, and Faust took a second to see he was looking at Baiken’s mouth.

Or, more specifically, the small plastic stick hanging out of her mouth.

Anji blinked at her, “…what-?”

Baiken grabbed the stick, and pulled out a bright red lollipop.

“…how?”

“Eri gave it to me.” Baiken said simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “said I earned it for being…” her mouth twitched to stop from becoming a smile, “…brave.”

Anji blinked in surprise, first at Baiken, and then at Eri, who nodded resolutely to show she was perfectly serious. After a moment, a smile slowly forming on his face, too slowly to be a conscious effort, and Anji laughed with more warmth than Faust had heard from him all day, “well! Can’t argue with that!” He bent down to look, and smile, at Eri at eye level. “Good call there Eri.”

The blinked before looking down with a bright blush. Baiken ruffled her hair while Anji grasped her shoulder.

And Faust understood the anger completely. Understood the insult of doubting these two.

But still, with a clear mind, he, as always, stood be his prognosis.

“Mr. Mito.” He called out, the man still leaning down as he turned to look at him, “I would like you to keep our conversation today in mind, alright?”

Anji, to his credit, only glared for a short second before he nodded, “of course, doctor.”

“Huh?” Eri looked between the two, “what did you talk about?”

“My own check up dear.” Anji lied smoothly as silk, “I set it a few months from now since I had one not too long ago,” he ruffled her hair again, “don’t worry about it.”

“…Okay.” Something shone in the girl’s eyes, but she went back to her treat with a quiet hum.

Anji stood up, met Baiken’s razor sharp gaze, and mouthed “later” silently before he turned to the doctor, “well! I think we’re all done for today!” He put a hand on Baiken’s shoulder to turn her towards the door, “say goodbye to the doctor Eri.”

Turning to Faust and Fanny, she waved goodbye in a way that made the doctor want to cry, before running to Baiken left side to grab her hand as they left.

Anji and Faust shared one last, slightly loaded stare before they stepped out the door.        

(Faust closed his practice earlier than usual that day. Fanny didn’t question it, or the way he fingered the bottom of his paper bag, or how stiff and deep his voice had gotten near the end of the day.

She helped him take his medicine, and he went to bed, images of not-himself standing above a perfectly clean surgery table, waiting for his next, his last, patient swirling in his mind as he slept.

Baiken slapped Anji upside the head. She didn’t know why, exactly, she just had the feeling he had earned it.

Anji didn’t argue with that.

Eri offered him her last lollipop, but he refused, he hadn’t been brave for a long while. He wanted to earn it properly.)

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #121 - Back to the Future

Spoilers below.

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes!

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #383.

Format: Blu-ray

This is super long. You have been warned.

1) I love this movie. With all my heart. With a burning passion. It is my favorite film of all time. I first saw it...well, I was probably 7 when I first saw it but I didn’t remember it much. I first saw it and remembered it on my 13th birthday and watched it with my family and freaking fell in love! I ended up watching it once a month for the next year, I’ve seen it easily at least 20 times, I even got a chance to see the entire trilogy in theaters on October 21, 2015! And I think that’s all because it is connected to a time in my life when I needed an escape like this. Back to the Future provided me with comfort during a year in my life which was one of the hardest in my life. I would not be a film student today if it were not for this movie, I could probably write a book on the trilogy! I’ll do my best to keep this shorter than a book though.

2) The opening pan of Doc Brown’s lab is a great way to start the film. The high number of clocks puts an emphasis on times (with the clock of Harry Lloyd hanging from the hour hand being particularly foreshadowing), and we get a lot of information for smoothly.

Doc Brown used to be rich but his mansion burned down.

We know the film is set in 1985.

There is some missing plutonium.

Doc is an inventor, as seen from all the inventions he has in the lab.

It’s a simple, memorable way to start the film and I love it.

3) Michael J. Fox as Marty McFly!

Marty McFly is honestly you’re average guy without being boring. He’s got people in his life he cares about and who care about him, he’s got ambitions even if they’re not “change the world” ambitions, he has anxieties, and he’s just very relatable. Also he’s pretty cool, and his introduction establishes a lot of important things about Marty. It shows us his love for music, a sharp wit (“Rock ‘n Roll!”), and an ability to roll with the punches (for example, being flung across the room by an amplifier and then saying, “Rock ‘n Roll!”).

Honestly Marty NEEDS Michael J. Fox. Eric Stoltz was originally cast in the role as Fox (who was the filmmakers’ first choice) was busy on his TV show “Family Ties” at the time but Stoltz was just NOT working out. It’s easy to make Marty sort of annoying on paper. There’s a Back to the Future comic book running right now and there was an arc starting around issue #6 where Marty started to bug me. And that’s because he was PURELY writing, there was no Michael J. Fox to bring that x factor Marty needs so badly. Fox (who ended up working on both “Family Ties” and Back to the Future at the same time) is what MAKES the character. There is no Marty McFly without Michael J. Fox.

4) Doc tells Marty that his, “experiment worked! [The clocks] are all exactly 25 minutes slow!” How is that an experiment? Can’t I do that with my clocks?

5) “The Power of Love” by Huey Lewis & The News is a great theme song for the film. I personally prefer “Back in Time” which plays towards the end of the film, but there’s no underestimating the power of “The Power of Love”. It’s a memorable, slick tune, which plays under a scene which very easily gives us a sense of what the town of Hill Valley is like. Another key ingredient to the film.

6) Freaking Strickland.

Strickland is not on screen for much time but he’s memorable. And that’s because he’s a raging asshole. Actor James Tolkan is able to play Strickland well in his few scenes because he makes his assholish nature funny. Much like Jeffrey Jones’ character in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Strickland is someone MAD with the little power he has. I mean look at that GIF above! Personal space, dude! It’s hysterical, and the character forever changes the way I hear the word, “slacker!”

7) Hey, look Huey it is! (I’m so sorry.)

8) In there few scenes together, Michael J. Fox and Claudia Wells make you feel that Marty and Jennifer REALLY love each other. There’s a quiet trust and honesty to their performance, an ability to talk with each other openly while being true to who they are. Do you think Marty would tell ANYONE else his fears about his rejection? His parents? No, no he wouldn’t. It’s a shame we didn’t get more Jennifer in the film, but the little we do is much appreciated.

9) This film really excels in the exposition department, because it gives you the information you need to know in smooth natural ways. You don’t feel like the film has paused to tell you, “This information is important,” it just makes sense! Whether it’s done for laughs or because it’s an honest character moment, it just works! This is true in:

The “Save the Clocktower” scene.

Lorraine telling her children how her and George met.

Doc Brown giving us ALL the exposition we need about his time machine.

10) Oh Biff.

Biff [after we learn he wrecked George’s car]: “I can’t believe you lent me your car without telling me it had a blind spot in it!”

I’ll talk more about Biff once we get to 1955.

11) Thomas F. Wilson, Crispin Glover and Lea Thompson all day amazingly playing the old age versions of their characters. You don’t feel like you’re watching 20 somethings play adults, you feel like you’re watching adult performers! And then it feels as natural when they’re playing the teenagers in 1955. It just works and I give massive credit to not only the actors for pulling that off but also the makeup people for not making the old age stuff look too ridiculous.

12) Okay, what 47 year old man calls someone a butt head? Like, how juvenile is that? I mean that’s probably the point, because it’s Biff, but still!

13) It’s a running gag throughout the series that Marty’s uncle/Lorraine’s sister Joey is in jail. Except...WHAT IS HE IN JAIL FOR!?!? I MUST KNOW!!!! MURDER!? ARSON!? FRAUD!? FALSE ADVERTISING!? WHAT IS IT JOEY!?

14) So, Lorraine in 1985 seems...pretty miserable to me. With watching it 20+ times I see that she’s pretty much an alcoholic, she’s always morose, she rarely smiles, and the look on her face after she recounts the story of how she and George fell in love...like she does NOT look happy!

And then that line becomes sort of greater after finishing the film. By 1955 standards she “chased” Marty as Calvin Klein, meaning she probably felt that she chased George too. Now she regrets that and wants to A) create some revisionist history and B) make sure other people don’t make her perceived mistakes. Thank god for time travel to make her life better though!

15) Remember this sign:

16) Alan Silvestri’s INCREDIBLE score does not kick in until 18 minutes into the film, first appearing when the DeLorean first shows up. That’s because up until this point life was normal. Marty went to school, got busted for being late, Biff was an ass, a normal day. Then the extraordinary enters the picture and Silvestri’s score signals us of that.

17) Christopher Lloyd as the iconic Doctor Emmett Brown.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

Lloyd is spectacular in the role. Be is able to mash up the mad scientist archetype and bring to it a warmth and childlike glee to every moment. He is EXCITED! He’s passionate about all he does and that is his dominating personality trait. He’s not mean or condescending like Dr. Frankenstein, he’s just this guy who wants to do something great with his life and he finally accomplishes that! Lloyd is great through and through, bringing that essential warmth and energy to every scene Doc is in. He feels over the top but he never feels phony. And his chemistry with Fox is off the charts.

Fun fact: Doc’s signature hunched over stature came about because Christopher Lloyd (6'1") is significantly taller than Michael J. Fox (5'4½") & they had to appear in frame together.

18) There is a fan theory out there that Doc was actually trying to commit suicide the night of the DeLorean test. He had himself and Marty placed right in front of the car, was joyfully surprised when it actually worked, and in 1955 comments that he, “finally invent[s] something that works!” That makes the film way dark way fast so we’re going to move on.

19) The DeLorean going into the future is just such an iconic image.

(GIF sources unknown [if these are your GIFs please let me know].)

Everything about that visually is so iconic and incredible. From the flames to the pair turning around, and ESPECIALLY the spinning license plate! All great!

20) The DeLorean.

Marty: “Wait a minute, wait a minute Doc! Are you telling me that you built a TIME MACHINE...out of a DeLorean?”

Doc’s immediate response was that he wanted to build a time machine with some style, and then goes on to say, “The stainless steel construction was perfect for,” and is cut off by the DeLorean returning to the present. WHAT IS THE STAINLESS STELL CONSTRUCTION PERFECT FOR DOC!? WHAT!?

According to IMDb:

Writers Bob Gale and Robert Zemeckis actually received a fan letter from John DeLorean after the film's release, thanking them for immortalizing his car.

21) The interior of the car is just as sleek and simple as the exterior. There is nothing superfluous in this film, and everything that’s necessary is fun!

(I know this GIF is from Part II but it’s the best one I can find of the readout.)

22) I read a post on Tumblr which you can find here which said:

One of my favorite phrases my Creative Writing professor had for when you’re writing fantasy is ‘giving your story a Flux Capacitor’.

Because it’s not real, it doesn’t exist. But the way it’s thrown into Back to the Future, at no point does it throw the audience off or suspend any more disbelief than time travel would. You believe Doc when he says he created the Flux Capacitor - the thing that makes time travel possible, because the universe never questions him.

So it essentially means like, there are going to be elements to your universe that are just not gonna make any sense, even if you set up a whole system based on it. And the only way to make it work is completely own it. You cannot second-guess your system or else the reader will too. You can give it the strangest explanation, but write it like you own it.

23) Foreshadowing!

Doc [after he says he’ll visit 25 years in the future]: “I’ll also be able to see who wins the next 25 world series!”

24) The car chase between Marty and the Libyan nationalists is the first showcase of the film’s excellent action. In the action-y parts of the film the audience is kept tense at every turn. Every little moment has a cause and an effect and you’re just waiting on the edge of your seat to see what happens because of it. That’s great.

25) Robert Zemeckis has said that he and the filmmakers talked about having the time travel sequence be long and cool, but they realized it should be instantaneous. That when you travel back in time, you travel back in time in the same spot you’re in. It’s not like a TARDIS which moves you through time and space: if where you are was a farm 30 years ago, then when you travel back 30 years in time you’ll be in a farm.

26) Remember this:

27) The scene where Marty is wandering through Hill Valley in 1955 is done so well, and it establishes Hill Valley’s character. Because that’s what this town is: a character. Marty never travels back to Ancient Rome or Capone’s Chicago, it is ALWAYS Hill Valley and we get to know the town and its history because of that.

28) Biff and his crew.

Biff is shown at his most villainous in 1955, when he’s a big freaking bully! But Thomas F. Wilson also makes him enjoyable to watch. You like it when he gets punched and embarrassed, and Wilson brings a lot of humor to what could be a very cold role. I’ll talk about one important improv later.

PS: That guy with the toothpick is Billy Zane!

(GIF originally posted by @d-white211)

29) Crispin Glover SHINES as 1955 George.

He’s a total weirdo in the role but that’s what makes it work! He’s socially awkward and a pushover and THAT’S his character, but Glover also makes it believable that George goes through the transformation he does by film’s end. It’s a shame they couldn’t really get him for the sequels.

30) Man, just wait until Lou gets to 2008.

Lou [after he hears that Goldie Wilson wants to be mayor, which he becomes]: “A colored mayor, that’ll be the day.”

31) This film handles the ideas of expectations vs reality well (like when Marty finds out his dad’s a peeping tom), and that’s where it shines. This isn’t some time travel film about time bandits or something. The science fiction is just the device to tell this really interesting, human story about a kid realizing he’s got more in common with his parents than he thought. And THAT’S why it’s so special!

32) Wait...

Sam Bane [after Marty pushes George out of the road and gets hit by his car]: “Stella! Another one of these damn kids jumped in front of my car!”

ANOTHER!?

33) Okay so the fact that Lorraine has the hots for her future son Marty is creepy (that’s the point), but it also makes sense. As I understand it human beings are naturally disposed to experience physical attraction to our own genetics in other people. So if you don’t KNOW it is your family member, than you just think it’s someone who’s cute because they look like you.

Also the way Lorraine handles herself around Marty (ie: over the top attracted to him, pushing him into a chair next to her, being so shocked by him showing up at school she falls back into her locker) makes me think she may be REALLY sexually repressed. Like, unhealthily so. Freaking 50s, man.

34) And there’s only one way Doc Brown could possibly open a door: looking like this.

35) A fun fact about this line:

Doc: “Then tell me, future boy: who’s president of the United States in 1985.”

Marty: “Ronald Reagan.”

Doc: “Ronald Reagan!? The actor!?”

President Reagan loved that line so much he asked the projectionist to play it again, and even used the quote, “Where we’re going we don’t need roads,” in his 1986 State of the Union address. I miss having a President who was secure like that.

36) Me too Marty. Me too.

Doc [after hearing they need 1.21 gigawatts of electricity to get the DeLorean to work]: “1.21 GIGAWATTS!? 1.21 GIGAWATTS! GREAT SCOTT!”

Also, did you notice that this is my 121st Epic Movie (Re)Watch? As in 121. As in 1.21? ;)

37) Roll credits!

Doc: “Next Saturday night, we’re sending you back TO THE FUTURE!”

38) Doc’s bemusement at Marty’s slang is so great to me. It feeds into his idea about what the future will be like.

Doc: “Why is everything so heavy in the future, is there a problem with the earth’s gravitational pull?”

39) I never got why Strickland called George a slacker for being bullied but he never calls out the bullies. Granted this has been happening in schools all across America for years now and I don’t get that either.

40) Remember how I said Lorraine’s marriage to George was unhappy?

Doc [about Marty’s parents]: “What are their common interests? What do they like to do together?

Marty [after a beat]: “Nothing.”

41) The idea of this being a boy who gets to know his parents really comes through when Marty learns that George writes sci-fi stories but doesn’t share them with anyone for fear or rejection. In the original timeline, did George keep writing sci-fi as an adult? Did Lorraine know? Did he tell ANYBODY and get rejected and that just made him stop writing? I have so many questions!

42) Thomas F. Wilson improvised this iconic line of Biff’s:

43) According to IMDb:

Universal Pictures head Sid Sheinberg did not like the title “Back to the Future", insisting that nobody would see a movie with "future" in the title. In a memo to Robert Zemeckis, he said that the title should be changed to "Spaceman From Pluto", tying in with the Marty-as-alien jokes in the film, and also suggested further changes like replacing the "I'm Darth Vader from planet Vulcan" line with "I am a spaceman from Pluto!" Sheinberg was persuaded to change his mind by a response memo from Steven Spielberg, which thanked him for sending a wonderful "joke memo", and that everyone got a kick out of it. Sheinberg, too proud to admit he was serious, gave in to letting the film retain its title.

44) George is absolutely hysterical in the diner scene.

DUDE YOU’RE A WRITER!!! DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT’S WHAT YOU WROTE DOWN!?!?!?

45) When Marty is confronting Biff at the bar and then in the skateboard chase around town, he plays it smart not tough. He distracts Biff before his one punch of the big brute and then maneuvers him around town in a way that’ll be beneficial to the young time traveler. It’s another excellent action scene which keeps you riveted at every turn.

46) There are probably so many GIFs out there of just Doc Brown reacting. This is one of my favorites:

47) Marty and his mother don’t get to know each other as well as George and Marty do, primarily because she’s trying to seduce him during his entire stay in 1955. But the scenes of George and Marty together as friends are great.

48) Also this line is attributed to Doc in the beginning of the film but we never hear him say it. Jennifer says it to Marty, Marty to George, and then George to Marty in the future.

49) Doc and Marty’s friendship in this film is great, as Marty is trying desperately to save Doc’s life in the future despite Doc not wanting to know. Marty respects Doc’s wishes but will be damned if he does nothing (hence the letter). Their friendship is developed as the trilogy progresses but it starts out strong.

50) Marty tries to prevent Lorraine’s alcoholism by keeping her from drinking when she’s 17. I appreciate that.

50.1) One of the best bloopers ever.

51) (Trigger Warning For This Note: RAPE) Okay, I love this movie but as I grow older I find that it kind of glosses over the fact that Biff is trying to RAPE Lorraine. And later in 1985 she’s totally fine having her attempted rapist come by their place regularly to wax their cars. Like...that’s super weird.

52) I always felt this scene could have either gone two ways: George becomes a self confident hero, or George becomes Norman Bates.

That’s like a really murdery face.

53) This is a very Hitchockian rule: it’s never over when you think it’s over. George punched out the bad guy and he’s going to the dance with Lorraine. All’s well right!? Well...no. Marty has to play guitar otherwise it’ll all go to shit. Marty, who’s super self conscious about rejection when it comes to playing guitar.

54) Johnny B. Goode!

The filmmakers described this scene as Marty’s victory lap. He just got his parents together! He’s playing the school dance! He’s going to go back to the future tonight! He’s going to have fun, and that’s what the number is. It doesn’t feel superfluous or unnecessary, it adds to the heart and excitement of the film. It’s amazing!

55) According to IMDb:

In the original script, Marty's playing rock and roll at the dance caused a riot which had to be broken up by police. This, combined with Marty accidentally tipping Doc off to the "secret ingredient" that made the time machine work (Coca-Cola) caused history to change. When Marty got back to the 1980s, he found that it was now the 1950s conception of that decade, with air-cars and what-not (all invented by Doc Brown and running on Coca-Cola). Marty also discovers that rock and roll was never invented, and he dedicates himself to starting the delayed cultural revolution. Meanwhile, his dad digs out the newspaper from the day after the dance and sees his son in the picture of the riot.

I don’t know how accurate that is but it’s fun to think about!

56) Not only am I going to include this next quote, but I’m also going to include what I said the first time I watched this movie with my family.

Doc [waiting for Marty to show up]: “Damn where is that kid?”

Doc [waiting, then checking watch]: “Damn.”

Me [with my family]: “Man, there’s a lot of swearing in this movie.”

Doc [checking his watch again]: “DAMN DAMN!”

That scene is so much funnier to me now just because of that instance.

57) The Clock Tower Climax is spectacular and it follows an age old rule of conflict: everything that can go wrong does go wrong. The cable comes undone, the car won’t start, Doc falls off the ledge (remember that foreshadowing I mentioned in point #2?), the cable is stuck on a tree, all while the clock is literally ticking away at their once chance to get this. It is glorious, and using the clock tower just reinforces the idea of time in the film (it was originally going to be a nuclear test site, à la Kingdom of the Crystal Skull) but they went for this iconic scene instead. Thank you filmmakers. Thank you.

58) Remember how the mall was called Twin Pine Mall in the beginning of the movie, and then when Marty went back in time he killed one of Peabody’s pines? Well when he goes back to the future something is a little different.

59) So now that Lorraine and George are happily married and George pursued his writing career, they family is like upper middle class (I don’t think they’re upper class). Crisping Glover did not like the fact that the films ending directly tied together money and happiness.

60) This film’s iconic ending was originally NOT meant to set up a sequel, but instead just tell the audience that the adventure kept going. Of course Robert Zemeckis and writing partner Bob Gale would return and finish what ended up being a trilogy in 1989 and 1990. But until then we have this perfect finishing line.

If my love for Back to the Future isn’t clear after the sixty notes you just read, let me reiterate: I freaking love this film. I love everything about it. I love the acting, the story, the direction, the music, the heart, the humor, the visuals, the themes, I love it all. I can’t imagine it not being my favorite film ever. Everyone needs to watch it as soon as possible. Seriously, everyone.

[gethealthy18-blog]

Bee Propolis Benefits to Fight Everything From Colds to Cancer

New Post has been published on http://healingawerness.com/news/bee-propolis-benefits-to-fight-everything-from-colds-to-cancer/

Bee Propolis Benefits to Fight Everything From Colds to Cancer

If you’re anything like me, honey already has a permanent place in your kitchen and natural remedy cabinet. It helps soothe burns, calm coughs, and even makes a great natural face wash. But it isn’t the only beneficial substance that honey bees make!

Propolis is the “bee glue” that protects and holds together the hive but this sticky substance has many health benefits as well! It is known to help in fighting cancer, soothing eczema, and even calming the flu.

Read on (or check out this podcast) to find out the many ways to use propolis extract to get the most benefit. It is important to note that like any bee product, propolis can cause an allergic reaction in anyone with an allergy to bees or bee products so do not try it if you have these conditions, and always check with a doctor before using if you have allergies, asthma, or health concerns!

What Is Propolis?

Bee propolis is a brown protective substance that bees make from a mixture of beeswax, resins, sap, botanical compounds, and their own saliva. Its name comes from the Greek pro meaning “in defense of” and polis meaning “city” — making its literal meaning “in defense of the city” (or hive).

In the hive, it is a protective substance that is vital to honey bee survival. It helps protect the bee hive against the elements, strengthens the internal structure, guards disease and parasites and even is used to mummify intruders that the bees can’t remove. Essentially, it is vital to the survival of the hive, and it can benefit humans in many ways as well!

Like all bee products, propolis offers a variety of health benefits to humans. It exhibits natural antibacterial properties and antimicrobial activity, making it a great first line of defense against any mild illnesses or sore throats that creep up. But this humble substance has also been studied for its biological activity against more serious matters like cancer cells in lab tests.

Researchers looked closely at the chemical composition and found hundreds of beneficial natural compounds including polyphenols like caffeic acid phenethyl ester, amino acids, coumarins, and even natural steroids. Due to the botanical compounds propolis also contains up to 10% essential oils and 5% bee pollen which have immune-boosting benefits on their own. These compounds help explain its anti-inflammatory, immune-boosting, and cancer-fighting properties.

Bee Propolis Benefits

This is one multi-purpose remedy that has been around for a long time! Historians have documented the use of propolis as far back as 300 BC. Ancient Egyptians took a cue from the bees and used propolis in their mummification rituals (just as bees use it to this day to mummify hive intruders and protect the hive from bacteria when the intruder decomposes).

Other cultures use it just like we can today —  as an all-around natural healthcare remedy.

These days, this sticky substance appears in everything from gum to cosmetics and salves to lozenges. Science is looking at propolis as a component in dental treatments and to harden enamel. Recent studies even show its effectiveness against skin problems, burns, inflammatory problems, and even herpes!

More studies are needed, but thousands of years of safe historical use and my own anecdotal evidence are enough to convince me to always keep this “bee glue” around my house.

Here’s a little more detail on what bee propolis can do for health:

1. Boosts the Immune System

My personal favorite use for propolis is to ward off cold and flu. I keep a handy little propolspray in my purse, bathroom, and kitchen at all times. At the first sign of sniffles or sore throat, I spray this directly into the throat. My kids even love this remedy, because like honey (and all bee products), it tastes great!

But don’t just take my word for it! A couple recent studies shed some really positive light on propolis as a cold remedy! A 1989 study followed people suffering from acute cold symptoms and found that symptoms started to improve on the first day of treatment with propolis. Five patients made a complete recovery in the following day, with sixteen more recovering on the second day and three more in the third. In contrast, the placebo group recovered in an average mean of 4.80 days.

In short, the group receiving propolis therapy recovered from colds 2.5 times faster than the placebo group.

A 1995 study looked at school children for an entire cold/flu season and found a “lowering of the number of cases with acute or chronic symptoms, and decrease and sometimes suppression of the viral-microbial flora carriage of the upper airways” with the use of bee propolis.

This is why propolis and elderberry syrup are two natural products that are staples in our home during the winter months!

2. Fights Inflammation

A recent study showed that Brazilian propolis has the ability to block the serine/theonine protein kinase known as PAK-1.

(If that last sentence didn’t make any sense, don’t feel bad. I only knew what it means because I’m a huge fan of Dr. Rhonda Patrick and her work. She talks often about PAK-1 inhibitors like curcumin and caffeic acid and how they extend lifespan in c.elegans (fruit flies). Fellow science geeks, check it out… it’s fascinating!)

How is this all related? In short, propolis contains compounds like flavanoids, caffeic acid, quercetin, naringenin, and caffeic acid phenethyl ester (CAPE) that all help reduce the chronic inflammatory response, at least in mice and fruit flies. But evidence shows that these effects happen in humans too.

3. Soothes and Protects Skin

I’ve been washing my face with honey for years but I’ve recently added propolis to my skincare arsenal as well. I find that it drastically speeds healing of minor cuts and burns, but research shows it has other skin benefits I haven’t had to test (thankfully), including:

For Warts:

In a randomized controlled trial, researchers tested propolis against echinacea and a placebo for wart treatment. The results were stunning: Propolis completely stopped warts in 75% and 73% of patients with plane and common warts (respectively). This was significantly better than the results associated with echinacea treatment or placebo. Researchers concluded that propolis is an effective and safe immunomodulating therapy for warts.

For Cold Sores:

In a similar way, this resinous substance may also help battle cold sores/ulcers. Herpes simplex virus (HSV) is very common. HSV-1 virus causes cold sores or fever blisters of the lips mouth. It can also cause genital herpes, though HSV-2 is the more common cause of this type.

The good news is that propolis does battle (and wins) against both strains, according to research! Recent studies show that propolis reduced the pain and duration of cold sores and fever blisters and that it even made conventional medical treatments more effective as well.

Eczema and Psoriasis:

The anti-inflammatory effects of propolis may also make it beneficial against skin conditions like eczema and psoriasis and bring some relief.

4. Calming Allergies

As mentioned, if you are allergic to bee products, it is important to avoid propolis. For those of us who aren’t, propolis (& bee pollen) can actually help calm allergies and avoid them over time. One study found that propolis (and bee pollen to a lesser degree) reduced histamine release from mast cells in rats. In essence, this makes it a natural antihistamine and my first round of defense against seasonal allergies.

5. Battling Cancer

This last benefit is a controversial one, but there is some research to back it up. It goes without saying that anyone with cancer should find doctors and practitioners that support their healing journey and do a lot of research (this is a great story and resource to start with). If I was ever diagnosed, I’d likely use propolis as part of my recovery protocol.

Initial studies show that this vital bee product may be beneficial against prostate and colon cancer, among others. Studies showed that propolis caused cancer cells to die by necrosis. This means that it interrupted the blood supply to the cell and caused just the harmful cells to die but did not harm healthy cells.

How to Find High Quality Propolis

If you are already a beekeeper (or have a kid who is, like I do), you are in luck! Bees naturally produce propolis and you can harvest it from your hive. If you aren’t a beekeeper but are thinking about becoming one, this site is a great place to start.

However, if bees aren’t in your backyard or in your future, there are now some great natural sources of propolis that taste good and work great.

Raw honey naturally contains small amounts of propolis so it is great to have around the house and use regularly, especially in kids. But for acute cases, I like to have a more concentrated form and I found a non-alcohol non-GMO glycerin-based spray that I love (and that is majorly kid-approved… they beg for it). This is my go-to first line of defense for colds, flu, skin problems and burns now.

When to Avoid Propolis

As I mentioned, it is always important to talk to a doctor before using this or any other remedy. Those with allergic reactions to bees or bee products should avoid propolis. There is some evidence that those with asthma should avoid it or check with a doctor before use.

Additionally, propolis may slightly thin the blood. This makes it potentially beneficial for those with high blood pressure, but it should be avoided by anyone with bleeding disorders or who is taking blood thinners.

I got the all-clear to use propolis from my doc and midwife last time I was pregnant, but I’d also recommend talking to yours if you are pregnant or nursing.

Propolis: Bottom Line

Like everything honey bees create (honey, royal jelly, bee pollen, etc.), propolis is amazing and may have some serious benefits. I’d highly recommend learning more about how we can all work to save the bees and taking small steps in your own yard to help protect these important pollinators. Even if you just make a small bee house or hotel for solitary bees, you can help the cause.

Since we can’t all be beekeepers (though that would be awesome!), it’s great that there are now some high-quality natural sources of propolis that we can all benefit from. Do your own research and consider adding this sticky-substance to your home remedies cabinet.

Have you ever heard of this remedy? Ever used it? Share below!

Sources:

Szmeja Z, Kulczy?ski B, Sosnowski Z, Konopacki K. [Therapeutic value of flavonoids in Rhinovirus infections]. Otolaryngol Pol. 1989;43(3):180-4.

Crian I, Zaharia CN, Popovici F, et al. Natural propolis extract NIVCRISOL in the treatment of acute and chronic rhinopharyngitis in children. Rom J Virol. 1995;46(3-4):115-33.

Zedan H, Hofny ER, Ismail SA. Propolis as an alternative treatment for cutaneous warts. Int J Dermatol. 2009;48(11):1246-9.

Yildirim, Ayse et al. “Antiviral Activity of Hatay Propolis Against Replication of Herpes Simplex Virus Type 1 and Type 2.” Medical Science Monitor?: International Medical Journal of Experimental and Clinical Research 22 (2016): 422–430. PMC. Web. 3 May 2018.

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/366380/propolis/

[cyberdelusionphilosopher-blog]

Will my insurance rates go higher?

"Will my insurance rates go higher?

My friend with a permit got a ticket and I was with him. I forgot about the no left turn sign and the cops pulled us over and asked for my license and registration. My friend was the driver and he got the ticket. Will my insurance rates go up? because my dad will ***** at me and will the insurance company call my dad?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Can anyone suggest me a good health insurance company in India which also offers maternity benefits?

How much will my insurance go up after being charged with hit and run on a parked car?

I recently was charged with hit and run on a parked car (for the record I didn't realize I hit the car), there was hardly any damage at all to either car but I am wondering how much I can expect my insurance rates to go up. Over 100%? Hopefully I won't be convicted as I really didn't notice that I scuffed this cars bumper.""

Car insurance in the uk?

in the uk do you have to pay for car insurance if your car is on the driveway or off road

What is the best car insurance company out there today?

I'm gonna get a car soon and I'm having difficulty picking an exact car insurance company to insure my car so I just wanted to read others opinion on what car insurance they think is the best.....if availabe tell me the pros & cons....

Insurance on car?

My dad said insurance on the car I want will be $700 a month.(I'm 18 and its for full coverage) Is that the price I pay if the car is insured under my name? I know if my dad insured the car under his name the price for insurance would drastically drop. My question is would I still be able to drive the car if its insured under my dads name and still be part of the whole insurance thing. You guys, the reason I sold my old car is becouse I wanted this newer car I've wited 3 months so far and I'm planning to pay for the car myself. But insurance is going to kill me. If you can also tell me about some good insurance companies out there that are cheap(we have something century rite now). When I heared how much it would cost I almost cried.""

Motorcycle insurance for a 17 year old in ontario?

So im going to get a motorcycle in april hopefully or when time permits within the next 2 years. I am going to write my m1 as soon as possible and im going to do the learning course and get everything done correctly. So onto the bike i want, I want a yamaha wr250r around 2008 and will be riding a lot and ride for however long i could until it gets really cold. So can you guys give me a rough estimate of what it will cost. Im guessing around 3500-4000 does that sounds about right thanks.""

Will my insurance rates go higher?

My friend with a permit got a ticket and I was with him. I forgot about the no left turn sign and the cops pulled us over and asked for my license and registration. My friend was the driver and he got the ticket. Will my insurance rates go up? because my dad will ***** at me and will the insurance company call my dad?

Can I get temporary car insurance for 3 to 5 days?

I'm not currenty insured because i go to San Francisco state and dont need a car, im going to florida for thanksgiving and ive got my old car out there, but my parents wont let me drive it unless im insured..""

How much would insurance be for a 2008 Honda CBR 125cc?

I'm only a 16 year old, 5'3 115 pound girl... I've got my g1, my driving course and I'm more than willing to take the motorcycle course. I'm looking at buying a 2008 Honda CBR 125cc. I'm wondering ON AVERAGE what I'll be paying for insurance? Thanks in advance! Oh and I'm in Sudbury, Ontario. I'll only be doing about 20-30km a day, if that makes a difference""

Learners Permit and Insurance!?

Can I have insurance while having my learners permit? (I currently live in Orlando, FL)""

How can forcing people to have car insurance compare to forcing health insurance?

Actually this equates to Slavery by the government??? You do not have to buy car insurance if you do not own a car. Secondly, if your car is paid for then you only have to have liability insurance to protect others not for the repairs of your own car. Yet, forcing everyone to have health insurance would fall on every individual regardless of age, sex, race, income, ect. If you do not have enough after paying your monthly bills you will be fined and even serve prison time with a $25,000 fee. This essentially goes against Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness isn't it? Liberals want to say everyone should have, and the government should provide? Yet, this is not government providing it is government enslaving you to have?? Slippery slope they are weaving and the benefits will be far less than we have today with the government oppression on each individual.""

Take away driver insurance!?

why is it so hard to get insurance for driving take aways? is it even possible?

A car crash into my car on purpose when my car was parking!!??INSURANCE!?

I got 1 ticket since i was driving til now will my insurance rate go up??? thankx

Why would a small van be more expensive to insure than a car?

Im 24 and my partner is 27. we share a car and our insurance is 800 a year and looking at vans for our dogs. The normal small ford vans the cheapest insurance is 1,200. I thought a van would be a cheaper?""

Landslide in San Diego.....are the homes covered by homeowners insurance?

Are there any insurance that would have covered for their losses?

Insurance and Licence Plate?

So my mum brought me a licence plate for my car last year, and the latest I can put it on my car is the 17th July. If I pass my test this week and set my insurance up for it to start 2 weeks later it will cost me a lot less. Can I set my insurance up with the licence plate I have now, send the form off for my new licence plate, and then ring my insurance company up later and tell them that I've changed my licence plate? If they charge for this has anyone got any idea of how much? I know its slightly complicated, so if anyone doesn't understand just ask.""

Cheapest car insurance for 18 year old ?

H there, once again i ask for thy help!!!>.. < ... so here i just bought a 2002 VAUXHALL CORSA 1.2 SXI BLACK, 1000 pounds, 90k Miles, im on a provisional license, hoping to pass by january. I will do aorund 6k a year miles. car will be used to get to uni, work and commute for shoping. thanks""

Car insurance for 16 year old 4.0 gpa?

How much would it be total if I was titled under my dads name, and my parents are divorced and the car is under my moms name is there a way I could still be under my dads, and if not thats ok, how much would the cost be added to my dads insurance costs?""

Teen Car Insurance Question. Desperate for answers?

Hi I am 17 and I am testing out quotes for insurance... my question is that... is it legally required for me to add collision coverage? comprehensive coverage? uninsured motorist bodily injury? Uninsured Motorist Property Damage? .. WHAT IS LEGALLY REQUIRED and what do I really not need to worry about? I am a girl therefore I am a safe driver hahaha... ANY ANSWERS WILL HELP.... THANKS!!!!

First Time Driver - Car Insurance?

I live in Western Massachusetts and will be 18 in July. I haven't gotten my permit yet, but I plan on getting it sometime in the next month to start practicing. In Massachusetts, you cannot get your license if you're under 18 and haven't taken a driving class, which I don't have the money for, so I plan on having my mom teach me everything about driving and I'm hoping to get my license when I turn 18. I do already own a car (1998 Honda Accord Coupe), so that won't be an issue. Here are my questions: 1. When I have to start paying insurance, how much (range) do you think it would be? I know that everyone says that first time drivers have to pay WAAAY more, but I don't even know how much regular drivers pay. 2. Would it be cheaper to just be added onto my parents' car insurance plan? They've already brought this idea up, but they're afraid that if I get into a serious accident that the people could go after everything they own. I don't want to be that much of a stress on them, but I really don't want to end up paying a lot. Please and thank you!""

What types of policies have been losing money for insurance companies?

Are property insurance policies in Florida (Hurricane area) still costing insurance companies? Any other kinds?

""So what would you suggest for my 1st car? has 2 b 5 door,cheap 2 run yet reliable & cheap on insurance??""

So what would you suggest for my 1st car? has 2 b 5 door,cheap 2 run yet reliable & cheap on insurance??""

How much will car insurance cost for a 17 year old in the UK?

I'm 16 years old, and 17 in a few months. I have a car already, in the garage. It's a Peugot 106, and my mum bought it for 350. I live in Newcastle, and I would like to know a rough price on the insurance? Realistically, around the region of 1000-3000 ect...""

How much would the insurance cost for a 2004 Subaru impreza wrx. Not sti.?

Im 17... So it normally costs more for me anyway. My dad and mom has had geico for a while now. My dad says I can't get it cuz the insurance will cost too much on a turbo car. I can't live without a turbo car!!!!!

What would the price be like to move to central california?

Just wondering as I would like to move to central california in the future. Is it very expensive to move from the UK to central california? What are the housing/apartment prices? Doctor fees? Ect.. Please help :) thankyou

""My car insurance quote is 5,000?""

This is the cheapest quote given by the companies. I am 19 years old and working in a minimum wage job. How can they expect me to be able to afford 5,000 in insurance when I'm only driving a 250 car? How can this price come down? Will waiting until I'm older reduce the price?""

Insurance In California?

What's the insurance law thing in California? Someone told me that anyone who has a license and drives a car MUST have insurance. Do you HAVE to have insurance to drive in CA? Another thing is that my parents were telling that it's expensive to put my name under their policy especially because I'm a newly licensed driver, meaning I don't have a lot of driving experience yet. Is this true?""

Will my car insurance go up?

I live in the state of Missouri and I got my first speeding ticket. I have Travelers insurance. Does anyone know if my rate will go up or do they let the first one slide?

How do i find out if a car insurance company is a real company?

I have Geico right now.Got into a reck they raised my insurance 3 times is much i was paying. I found a company Colorado Casualty,They said they will give me insurance at a good price less than i first started with Geico 4 years ago.S o i want to check this company out ,but don't know how.""

Need Cheap Medical Health Insurance?

Hello, could anybody recommend me a site for cheap medical health insurance.I know many sites, but their offers are too expensive.""

Will these cars cost more to insure?

So im looking to buy my first car. The deal is I pay for the car, my parents cover the insurance, but they wont let me get a SUV or sporty car because then they have to pay more. I was looking at a Toyota Celica or Hyundia Tiburon (I kinda want a coupe so my friends wont be bumming rides all the time because ill be the only one with a car). Is this true? I mean, even the 4-cylinder 2.0L automatic models? Will these models still be considered a sports car even with the wimpy specs or were my parents mistaken? I was also looking at a Chevy Cobalt LS coupe, which is pretty much the same as the others, and my dad said it was cheaper to insure?""

How much monthly would it cost for me to get an apartment in the US?

I would like to know the total living costs... Plus food, gas, insurance, electricity, everything... Like the average cost... I know the apartment would be $460, I already found one, but I don't know how much it would be for everything else included.""

Will my insurance rates go higher?

My friend with a permit got a ticket and I was with him. I forgot about the no left turn sign and the cops pulled us over and asked for my license and registration. My friend was the driver and he got the ticket. Will my insurance rates go up? because my dad will ***** at me and will the insurance company call my dad?

Price on car insurance for student?

Sorry my last question wasn't clear enough. I'm wondering how much money I would spend on a car insurance for my son who is a junior (16 y.o) and is getting his permit in th next week. If this helps, a car is a ford 2006 please help?""

How much does car insurance cost?

Im 19,, looking for a first car,, whats the cheapest car to insure? How much about would it cost?""

Can you sue a car insurance policy holder?

On christmas day my boyfriend had a car accident where he hit his house. He did a total of over $5,500 worth of damages to it. When he went to his mother's house that day he was told by his parents ,that his step dad had removed him from the insurance in October after his birthday (they did so without telling him until the accident ). He had been paying them insurance money each month thinking he was on the insurance. Now the lady that owns the house has informed us that her insurance is suing the title holders (my boyfriend) for insurance fraud. After my boyfriend is sued can he then turn around and sue his step dad for him removing him from the insurance/ insurance fraud?""

Approximately how much would it cost for auto insurance for a person thats 16?

About how much would it cost to insure a 16 year old with a 2009 Nissan 370z? Parent's credit is near perfect and car is in their name and I have my grades higher than 3.0. Saying a lot of money doesn't help because I already know insuring a car like that costs a lot of money, just looking for a rough estimate.""

Adding teenager to car insurance?

I'm turning 16 in a few months and my parents said if i paid for the extra cost they would put me on their policy and i was wondering how much money it would be

How much would my car insurance cost to pay the minimum payment?

what is the cheapest car insurance company? How much would the minimal payment cost? My 21 yr old bf would be the one paying it and i would be under his insurance. im a first time driver age 19. I am a mom of two kids and highschool graduate. the title to my car would be in his name. Unless it doesnt matter to have it in both our names. we live in ms and he uses state farm.

Cheapest Car Insurance For 18 yr old?

Trying to find CHEAP car insurance. I only need liability coverage, i own it out right. Anyone know any companies with good deals for 18 yr old drivers? thanks!""

Can I purchase auto insurance without car registration?

Hello guys and gals, I need your helps here, I live in California and I currently own two cars (A and B), car A which I am planning to sell has not been driven in a year (2011-2012), also I did not buy the car insurance for car A since I don't drive it anymore, in this year (2012) after I paid for the car registration renewal fee for car A, I received a letter from California DMW, stated that they were unable to send me a registration card unless I can provide them with evidences of auto insurance for car A, and unfortunately, I lost all the previous registration cards of car A during moves, so in this case, will I be able to purchase auto insurance for car A without showing registration card to the insurance agent but only with Drive's License, VIN number, etc.? Or alternatively, can I use the insurance of car B to complete registration renewal for car A? Thank you in advance.""

My insurance on my car is $450 and its nothing special of a car not fast how can i get it lower?

My insurance on my car is $450 and its nothing special of a car not fast how can i get it lower? the insurance company told me if i sighn on with my family it makes it cheaper...all of my friends are paying 120-200 i dont get why mines so much more/?

Car Insurance?

So I got my license the other day I'm 16 turning 17. I don't have a car yet, but I want to drive alone. My mom has a car but my name isin't included in the policy. I heard somewhere that I could still drive the car. Is that true? How much would it cost if my name is added to the car? the car is on AAA Insurance.? . Another question. Im going to be working soon, how much would it cost for a 17 year old to drive his own car with his own insurance, BUT if im added to my DAD's policy.?""

Need advice on good dental insurance plan in California.?

Hello, I am looking for good dental isurance policy for one person. I currently work as a temp, and dont have insurance. I was looking to spend around $30 a month, is this too low? I need something that is rather comprehensive. Thanks""

Which would be cheaper to insure for a 16 yr old male?

a hyundai tiburon (not gt, just the regualar one, probably a 2004 or 05 because of the added anti theft put on the car after 2003, which lowered the insurance rate) and the tiburon is NOT considered a sports car, so dont try to convince me that it is,lol. or a scion tc 2005(regualr, not gt or whatever scion calls its sport verson) i really like the scion tc but this will be my first car and i cant be picky, id have to go wtih which ever is cheaper to insure. any advice (dont tell me to buy a cheap clunker, my dad doesnt want me to get one, he wants me to find a nice, afordable car) thanks!""

How much does car insurance cost?

Like im 16 and i got my first car its a 1996 pontiac bonneville... Anyways i need insurance to drive it,, so how does it work?? Like when i go to get insurance do i have to pay any fee's on the spot, when getting my insurance?""

Affordable health insurance?

for milwaukee wisconsin?

""On average, how much will my insurance cost?""

I'm 17 and female. on average how much do you think my insurance would cost on a 1.2L corsa 2003 model, with a black box fitted? Also would it be cheaper if i put the insurance in my dads name (9 years no claims) and me as a named driver? I'm struggling to find quotes as i haven't passed my test yet, just wondering whether it's worth buying this car thanks in advance BQ: do you know of any cars which are fairly cheap for teenagers to insure?""

What are the upsides/downsides to a LPG/Autogas conversion.?

With auto gas being roughly 60% of the cost of petrol, investigating a conversation is attractive but not if it is just simply an exchange of costs and the whole deal just is a contra entry. Much lower mpg , increased service costs, insurance, more wear and tear are just some of my thoughts. Also how does auto gas effect performance ? Hence what are your experiences (in the UK please), costs, regrets and pleasures concerning the topic.""

Getting health insurance for a young adult?

I'm a 20 year old college student living in Houston, TX. I have recently been having very bad problems with depression and anxiety and I think there's a possibility of anemia due to my low weight and constant fatigue (among other symptoms). Because of this, it's been very hard for me to get and keep a job. I really need a doctors help with all this but I'm uninsured and have no support from my parents. I've unsuccessfully tried applying for a Harris County Gold Card and I'm not eligible for medicare. The problem is I'm being supported by my boyfriend and living in his apartment for free. When I applied for the Gold Card, based on my situation, they said that I'm dependent on him and that he would need to show his proof of income. Since he lives off his parents money, he is still considered dependent on them. What are my other options in getting to see a doctor ASAP for cheap/ free? I'm afraid that even if I can afford the initial doctor's appointment, I won't be able to afford my medication or follow ups. Thanks for your help.""

What reputable health insurance companies are out there?

My mom doesn't have health insurance and my job doesn't give insurance to family members. I would like to pay monthly to a health insurance company so my mom could get health check up when she needs it. Do you know any health insurance companies that can accept low monthly payments since I don't get paid that much?

How much will insurance costs?

I am under 25 years old, live in CA, and first time car owner and getting insurance on a car older that 15 years... which company do you recommend and why? Thanks!""

I had a commercial accident in 2008 and looking for a chep insurance plz help?

I live in toronto i have been driving car with G licence since the end of 2000. i had a commercial accident in 2008 in which i was found guilty but no claim was paid. im still driving and looking for chaep insurance for a car. anybody's advice would be greatful.

Why do i have to pay car insurance?

okay, ive been driving for about 3 years now (im18) and in those 3 years ive had to pay about over $200 a month for car insurance plus the yearly down payment of $600. and in those 3 years ive never been in an accident. im always cautious, drive good, etc... where has all that money gone? its a robbery i tell ya. its a scam, a waste of money. an extra burden on our shoulders. now my license is suspended for not paying insurance. i barely have enough to pay rent and other bills. so why pay $200 a month for something i dont need? there must be some other way. i know what you people are gonna say. your too young, you could get into an accident and all that other bull shte. and thats all it is. bull shte. or, you never know when the accident will happen. okay. but what about the 3 years? 3 times 600 down payment is 1,8000. plus the 200 time 36 months is. $9000 total... wtf? and if i ever did get an accident, it wont be as big as that of a bill. all im saying is. is there any way i can legally drive without having to pay insurance? i live in florida. what if i got a lawyer to fight the case. saying car insurance is a fraud?""

How much would insurance oN MY CAR BE?

i am thinking about getting an 02 jeep cherokee, i am 17 and had no violations or anything, how much do u think that insurance would be alone for me and not under my parents name. (insurance per month)""

Do you have car insurance through Costco? Did you save money?

Thinking about getting an estimate from Costco. Im a member of Costco and thought I would look into it. Ever have any experience with their insurance? I know its an outside company.

How much would car insurance typically cost for a first time driver with a used car?

I'm almost 18 and will hopefully be driving soon and I was wondering how much I would pay for car insurance for a used car? I'm not looking for a normal teen car, I'm looking more for a very child friendly safe vehicle for me and my son. Generally what am I looking at price wise either per/month or yearly for insurance?""

Will the premium for my car insurance go up ? =(?

Hi, I live in Connecticut and I just began having insurance under my name about 4 months ago. Recently a guy hit me and damaged my car but when I tried to get his insurance to pay for it he lied about the whole thing and the police report stated both our stories so I was denied liability. Now my insurance company has to pay for the damages which come out to around 2400 dollars. I was wondering if my premium will go up next time I renew... I already pay $2700 a year and am worried =(""

Will my insurance rates go higher?

My friend with a permit got a ticket and I was with him. I forgot about the no left turn sign and the cops pulled us over and asked for my license and registration. My friend was the driver and he got the ticket. Will my insurance rates go up? because my dad will ***** at me and will the insurance company call my dad?

Can I insure my car for more than it's worth?

I recently spent a lot of money getting my car into great condition. I don't want to have an accident and have the insurance company only give me a quarter of what I put into it, just because the book value of it is low. I have USAA if that makes a difference.""

Can hospitals deny someone without insurance?

Can hospitals deny someone without insurance? I know of someone that died recently at a hospital waiting area who was denied help because he did not have insurance. He was 17. Can hospitals deny someone who really in a urgent situation between life and death because of no insurance?

Is there any cheap insurance out there for students?

Hi, My name is Courtney and I'm looking to buy a car soon but I don't have car insurance. My parents wont put me on theirs so I need something really cheap because I'm a student and I don't have much money. Is there some place that offers coverage for low low prices?""

Car insurance for young drivers?

I was wondering what insurers provide the most favourable quotes for an 18old male like myself? The cheapest car insurance quote I could get was 2262, on an independant insurance website. The comparison websites are useless, I just get results of 3000 or more. I am asking if I can get cheaper than this figure? or should I just selttle for 2262?""

""Insurance , real estate, law question?""

if a person drive a vehicle :D, the vehicle is under the other person name H, H buy the car insurance, the D doenst have the car insurance, and D get in the car accident with K, K is the one who is false, Who is the one false in this situation, it is D or K. Because K are false, will K insurance company pay all the fee in the accident and hospital? Will K insurance company pay for the damage K cause for D? Will K insurance company pay for D health injuries? Even if D doesnt have the insurance, D drive under the vehicle that belong to H, H has the vehicle AND INSURANCE UNDER HER NAME, AND D is H sister.""

The cheapest auto insurance in southern california?

The cheapest auto insurance in southern california?

Car insurance question (just turned 16)?

So I just turned 16, and am about to purchase a car after saving up for the past year or so. I just have 2 questions. 1- Im planning to get a 1991 Nissan 300zx, there's a 2 seater-2door and a 4 seater- 2 door version of this car. Planning to get the 4 seater, and from what I've heard, insurance will be a tad bit cheaper with the 4 seater, is this true ? And for the more important question - Im underage obviously, so I have to go under my parents for insurance. Thing is, my dad has a HORRIBLE driving record, 1 accident that was his fault and a heaping amount of tickets. And my parents' insurance has gone up from that.. But is his driving record going to affect my insurance? Like will I have to pay more than expected due to his bad record ? Sorry for such the long question..""

Can you have 2 different cars with different insurance?

my grandma bout a car for me, im only 15 so shes gonna give me the car when i turn 16 which is in january. she went down to L.a ( we live in california by the way) to buy the car with her nephew in law. shes 62 and half blind and doesnt have a license so she had to put the car in his name. but SHE paid for it. i told my mom and she was like if she wants to put the car in my her name she can. cuz me and my mom both know that her nephew in law could call up the police and say she stole his car, cuz the car is legally in his name and so is the insurance. and this man is very very crooked, he doesnt have a job and even steals money from his wife. he tried multiple times to steal the car so my grandma locks it in the garage. she even offered for him to buy the car off her for 300 dollars when she paid 1600 dollars but he wanted the car for free. now he is a...stupid man and he does not yet realize that he could call the cops and get the car easily so im trying to get this done as soon as possible. he aint paying for nothing on that car. im not worried that this man taking the car means i wont get a car. im worried that he might cheat my grandma, and that just doesnt site with me. he seems to catch and attitude with her when im not around but when im their i dont here no problems. so can i my mom get the car in her name with two different insurance providers and can the insurance still be in his name but the car in my moms name. and what if he refuses to sign it over can we still get the car. im sorry i had to air out my dirty laundry but i needed to release this anger""

What is the cheapest auto insurance company?

What is the cheapest auto insurance company?

Online car insurance quote?

My husband and I are looking for ways to cut back spending. We wanted to look for better car insurance rates so we looked online and got a quote that was considerably less (about 700.00 less a year) with the same deductibles and options we already have. My question is ... has anyone done this and had good luck with it? And does this to good to be true rate increase after they real you in? And what is a good company to go with?

Anyone know any cheap car insurance?

Im just trying to save a little money.

""I'm moving to California to Hawaii, can I use my dental insurance in Hawaii?

I have liberty Dental insurance here in California but I am moving to Hawaii in a few weeks. Will I be covered in Hawaii?

Does your home insurance go up when you have a boat?

I want to buy a 21 foot boat and keep it in my back yard when not in use. What costs am I looking at? The boat and trailer need new registration but is that just a one time payment and I'm good to go? thanks

Is the dodge magnum a considered a sports car?

23 years old, how much would I pay for insurance on a 2006? Thanks!""

Cheapest liability insurance?

I'm 19yr old male in Texas w/ good-driving record, no tickets, have license for 2yrs now, have liability w/ State Farm for $116/mo looking for cheaper premium. W/ this info, can some one point me towards the direction for finding a much cheaper premium, preferably LESS than $100! Thanks.""

Why is motorcycle insurance insane for everything but cruiser types?

I called Geico and they quoted me on a bunch of motorcycles. Cruisers were the only reasonable ones, but I thought the other types (sport, standard, touring, offroad) that I got quotes on were riduculously high! I even asked about the ninja 250 and that was 4 times the amount of a 750 shadow. How is that possible?""

What is the best car insurance for a traveler?

Hi, me and my partner just bought a car in Auckland. We are traveling around New Zealand for around 9 months and was wondering which is the best vehicle insurance we can get.""

How much a rental house property insurance should cost?

I rented a house and the mortgage company says I need to have rental insurance. I do not want to cover my tenants stuff, just the house in Nevada. Thanks""

About how much per month would insurance for a sub shop/pizza place cost an owner?

Doing research in attempt to know how much it will take to get a small sub shop off the ground. A big question is insurance. In this day in age, I would hate to be sued by someone who slips outside and falls. I will be renting the property from a local land owner. The building is 1,000 square feet, small joint. What is a general range of which I might in liability insurance for my business? Located in ohio small town.""

I got a ticket and need to know what my insurance will cost?

I got a reckless driving ticket I'm 16 no other tickets or wreck I have Erie insurance What will my insurance cost bcus my mom canceled it and I have to pay it now

How does auto insurance work in at fault collision?

Hello, I am curious as to how my auto insurance policy would cover body damage to my car. I have comprehensive/collision coverage, as it is only a few years old and still owed by the bank. I accidentally ran into the side of my garage, and the front right side and bumper have scratches/dents in it. The nearest body shop quotes average in the 1800 dollar range for repairs, which I don't have. Can I have my insurance cover this, with a 500 dollar deductible, and if so, will it affect my insurance rates? My insurer is California State Automobile Association. Thanks.""

Is car insurance cheaper when changing from 20 to 21 in age?

Is car insurance cheaper when changing from 20 to 21 in age?

Is Auto Insurance cheaper in Florida or Georgia?

Is Auto Insurance cheaper in Florida or Georgia?

""Obamcare, how is it enforced?""

So, the single mothers of 3 children. The one who's flipping burgers for 12,000 a year income, She's going to pay $100 a month for insurance, or she will be in violation of the law, right? When she doesn't pay the $100 a month, she's a criminal, right? We're going to fine her $2,000? If she doesn't pay the fine, we'll throw her in jail? Really? This is the plan? Does anybody else see how ridiculous this whole thing is???""

""Where is the cheapest place to get auto insurance in st. petersburg, FL 33701?""

Haven't had insurance in awhile, just bought a new/used truck. Just need the basics. Live in st. pete area code 33701.""

Will my insurance rates go higher?

My friend with a permit got a ticket and I was with him. I forgot about the no left turn sign and the cops pulled us over and asked for my license and registration. My friend was the driver and he got the ticket. Will my insurance rates go up? because my dad will ***** at me and will the insurance company call my dad?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/kingdom-city-missouri-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-65262-williams/"

[foursprout-blog]

Bee Propolis Benefits to Fight Everything From Colds to Cancer

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/health/bee-propolis-benefits-to-fight-everything-from-colds-to-cancer/

Bee Propolis Benefits to Fight Everything From Colds to Cancer

If you’re anything like me, honey already has a permanent place in your kitchen and natural remedy cabinet. It helps soothe burns, calm coughs, and even makes a great natural face wash. But it isn’t the only beneficial substance that honey bees make!

Propolis is the “bee glue” that protects and holds together the hive but this sticky substance has many health benefits as well! It is known to help in fighting cancer, soothing eczema, and even calming the flu.

Read on (or check out this podcast) to find out the many ways to use propolis extract to get the most benefit. It is important to note that like any bee product, propolis can cause an allergic reaction in anyone with an allergy to bees or bee products so do not try it if you have these conditions, and always check with a doctor before using if you have allergies, asthma, or health concerns!

What Is Propolis?

Bee propolis is a brown protective substance that bees make from a mixture of beeswax, resins, sap, botanical compounds, and their own saliva. Its name comes from the Greek pro meaning “in defense of” and polis meaning “city” — making its literal meaning “in defense of the city” (or hive).

In the hive, it is a protective substance that is vital to honey bee survival. It helps protect the bee hive against the elements, strengthens the internal structure, guards disease and parasites and even is used to mummify intruders that the bees can’t remove. Essentially, it is vital to the survival of the hive, and it can benefit humans in many ways as well!

Like all bee products, propolis offers a variety of health benefits to humans. It exhibits natural antibacterial properties and antimicrobial activity, making it a great first line of defense against any mild illnesses or sore throats that creep up. But this humble substance has also been studied for its biological activity against more serious matters like cancer cells in lab tests.

Researchers looked closely at the chemical composition and found hundreds of beneficial natural compounds including polyphenols like caffeic acid phenethyl ester, amino acids, coumarins, and even natural steroids. Due to the botanical compounds propolis also contains up to 10% essential oils and 5% bee pollen which have immune-boosting benefits on their own. These compounds help explain its anti-inflammatory, immune-boosting, and cancer-fighting properties.

Bee Propolis Benefits

This is one multi-purpose remedy that has been around for a long time! Historians have documented the use of propolis as far back as 300 BC. Ancient Egyptians took a cue from the bees and used propolis in their mummification rituals (just as bees use it to this day to mummify hive intruders and protect the hive from bacteria when the intruder decomposes).

Other cultures use it just like we can today —  as an all-around natural healthcare remedy.

These days, this sticky substance appears in everything from gum to cosmetics and salves to lozenges. Science is looking at propolis as a component in dental treatments and to harden enamel. Recent studies even show its effectiveness against skin problems, burns, inflammatory problems, and even herpes!

More studies are needed, but thousands of years of safe historical use and my own anecdotal evidence are enough to convince me to always keep this “bee glue” around my house.

Here’s a little more detail on what bee propolis can do for health:

1. Boosts the Immune System

My personal favorite use for propolis is to ward off cold and flu. I keep a handy little propolspray in my purse, bathroom, and kitchen at all times. At the first sign of sniffles or sore throat, I spray this directly into the throat. My kids even love this remedy, because like honey (and all bee products), it tastes great!

But don’t just take my word for it! A couple recent studies shed some really positive light on propolis as a cold remedy! A 1989 study followed people suffering from acute cold symptoms and found that symptoms started to improve on the first day of treatment with propolis. Five patients made a complete recovery in the following day, with sixteen more recovering on the second day and three more in the third. In contrast, the placebo group recovered in an average mean of 4.80 days.

In short, the group receiving propolis therapy recovered from colds 2.5 times faster than the placebo group.

A 1995 study looked at school children for an entire cold/flu season and found a “lowering of the number of cases with acute or chronic symptoms, and decrease and sometimes suppression of the viral-microbial flora carriage of the upper airways” with the use of bee propolis.

This is why propolis and elderberry syrup are two natural products that are staples in our home during the winter months!

2. Fights Inflammation

A recent study showed that Brazilian propolis has the ability to block the serine/theonine protein kinase known as PAK-1.

(If that last sentence didn’t make any sense, don’t feel bad. I only knew what it means because I’m a huge fan of Dr. Rhonda Patrick and her work. She talks often about PAK-1 inhibitors like curcumin and caffeic acid and how they extend lifespan in c.elegans (fruit flies). Fellow science geeks, check it out… it’s fascinating!)

How is this all related? In short, propolis contains compounds like flavanoids, caffeic acid, quercetin, naringenin, and caffeic acid phenethyl ester (CAPE) that all help reduce the chronic inflammatory response, at least in mice and fruit flies. But evidence shows that these effects happen in humans too.

3. Soothes and Protects Skin

I’ve been washing my face with honey for years but I’ve recently added propolis to my skincare arsenal as well. I find that it drastically speeds healing of minor cuts and burns, but research shows it has other skin benefits I haven’t had to test (thankfully), including:

For Warts:

In a randomized controlled trial, researchers tested propolis against echinacea and a placebo for wart treatment. The results were stunning: Propolis completely stopped warts in 75% and 73% of patients with plane and common warts (respectively). This was significantly better than the results associated with echinacea treatment or placebo. Researchers concluded that propolis is an effective and safe immunomodulating therapy for warts.

For Cold Sores:

In a similar way, this resinous substance may also help battle cold sores/ulcers. Herpes simplex virus (HSV) is very common. HSV-1 virus causes cold sores or fever blisters of the lips mouth. It can also cause genital herpes, though HSV-2 is the more common cause of this type.

The good news is that propolis does battle (and wins) against both strains, according to research! Recent studies show that propolis reduced the pain and duration of cold sores and fever blisters and that it even made conventional medical treatments more effective as well.

Eczema and Psoriasis:

The anti-inflammatory effects of propolis may also make it beneficial against skin conditions like eczema and psoriasis and bring some relief.

4. Calming Allergies

As mentioned, if you are allergic to bee products, it is important to avoid propolis. For those of us who aren’t, propolis (& bee pollen) can actually help calm allergies and avoid them over time. One study found that propolis (and bee pollen to a lesser degree) reduced histamine release from mast cells in rats. In essence, this makes it a natural antihistamine and my first round of defense against seasonal allergies.

5. Battling Cancer

This last benefit is a controversial one, but there is some research to back it up. It goes without saying that anyone with cancer should find doctors and practitioners that support their healing journey and do a lot of research (this is a great story and resource to start with). If I was ever diagnosed, I’d likely use propolis as part of my recovery protocol.

Initial studies show that this vital bee product may be beneficial against prostate and colon cancer, among others. Studies showed that propolis caused cancer cells to die by necrosis. This means that it interrupted the blood supply to the cell and caused just the harmful cells to die but did not harm healthy cells.

How to Find High Quality Propolis

If you are already a beekeeper (or have a kid who is, like I do), you are in luck! Bees naturally produce propolis and you can harvest it from your hive. If you aren’t a beekeeper but are thinking about becoming one, this site is a great place to start.

However, if bees aren’t in your backyard or in your future, there are now some great natural sources of propolis that taste good and work great.

Raw honey naturally contains small amounts of propolis so it is great to have around the house and use regularly, especially in kids. But for acute cases, I like to have a more concentrated form and I found a non-alcohol non-GMO glycerin-based spray that I love (and that is majorly kid-approved… they beg for it). This is my go-to first line of defense for colds, flu, skin problems and burns now.

When to Avoid Propolis

As I mentioned, it is always important to talk to a doctor before using this or any other remedy. Those with allergic reactions to bees or bee products should avoid propolis. There is some evidence that those with asthma should avoid it or check with a doctor before use.

Additionally, propolis may slightly thin the blood. This makes it potentially beneficial for those with high blood pressure, but it should be avoided by anyone with bleeding disorders or who is taking blood thinners.

I got the all-clear to use propolis from my doc and midwife last time I was pregnant, but I’d also recommend talking to yours if you are pregnant or nursing.

Propolis: Bottom Line

Like everything honey bees create (honey, royal jelly, bee pollen, etc.), propolis is amazing and may have some serious benefits. I’d highly recommend learning more about how we can all work to save the bees and taking small steps in your own yard to help protect these important pollinators. Even if you just make a small bee house or hotel for solitary bees, you can help the cause.

Since we can’t all be beekeepers (though that would be awesome!), it’s great that there are now some high-quality natural sources of propolis that we can all benefit from. Do your own research and consider adding this sticky-substance to your home remedies cabinet.

Have you ever heard of this remedy? Ever used it? Share below!

Sources:

Szmeja Z, Kulczy?ski B, Sosnowski Z, Konopacki K. [Therapeutic value of flavonoids in Rhinovirus infections]. Otolaryngol Pol. 1989;43(3):180-4.

Crian I, Zaharia CN, Popovici F, et al. Natural propolis extract NIVCRISOL in the treatment of acute and chronic rhinopharyngitis in children. Rom J Virol. 1995;46(3-4):115-33.

Zedan H, Hofny ER, Ismail SA. Propolis as an alternative treatment for cutaneous warts. Int J Dermatol. 2009;48(11):1246-9.

Yildirim, Ayse et al. “Antiviral Activity of Hatay Propolis Against Replication of Herpes Simplex Virus Type 1 and Type 2.” Medical Science Monitor?: International Medical Journal of Experimental and Clinical Research 22 (2016): 422–430. PMC. Web. 3 May 2018.

[fckingfibro-blog]

A Good Day

Ohhhhhhm’gosh, what a beautiful day yesterday was! ❤ [heart] I went to my first pain management specialist appointment yesterday and was really nervous about it, but it went amazingly well! Especially considering how many shitty doctors I’ve had to deal with before!

Went to see Dr. John Michalisin, Jr. for help with my chronic pain from fibro and my shoulder’s adhesive capsulitis. He was very respectful, kind, understanding, and listened to me and made sure to tell me I was the boss on how I wanted to pursue treatments. Hell yes!

I explained to him that I’d had some really bad experiences with doctors, particularly rheumatologists and psychiatrists, and that I just wanted some pain relief and help, and he took what I said to heart. He explained a little about fibro to me where my rheumatologist (who diagnosed me!) did not, and he happily covered the treatments usually used to help with the pain. He immediately explained how little treatments there are for fibro-- not to make me feel hopeless, but to inform me that the basics for fibro treatment are “eat nutritious foods, try to exercise when able, and rest/avoid stress,” which is really what

everyone on Earth should be trying to do as a simple baseline for health, so, he explained, that this was pretty much useless for actual treatment of fibro. He explained this to me in a way that made it clear that any failing for treating my fibro is not on me, the patient with the condition, but rather on the fact that fibro research is still in its infancy and not always taken seriously by the medical community. I really appreciated him saying that because that’s exactly the attitude I often encounter and fear with new doctors who look to use these “findings” to blame me and other patients for something they feel unequipped to treat.

He informed me that he feels the best method for treatment is a global treatment of the issue rather than targeting whichever part of my body is acting up at the moment and returning for a visit each month for an injection of some sort. I was pleased with his comment and expressed my desire to do this, as well, since I’m so sick and fucking tired of going in to see doctors all the time. He said that the first treatment typically attempted is an antidepressant or  gabapentin medication. I explained that I was really not wanting to attempt things like that, such as Cymbalta, Lyrica, etc, because I knew that they had a chance of suicidal ideation and depression, and I’d become highly suicidal and depressed while taking 3 different antidepressants in 2014 and was really scared that I might have another bad reaction to them when I had just this year started to recover finally. I told him I didn’t want to end up dead trying to treat my fibromyalgia, and he was totally cool with it (lol imagine that! It’s sad how absurd that sentence is and how many other doctors ignore me on this critical issue). He agreed that it could be risky since I have a history of responding poorly to medications and have an increasing allergy to many things I digest, food and medicine, and he said that we could exhaust other options first before returning to this option if necessary.

I mentioned to him that I had read many things online from various fibro sources and friends with chronic pain for pain help, including medical marijuana, TENS units, herbal remedies, muscle relaxants, sedatives, and so on, and that I wanted to try these before resorting to Cymbalta/Lyrica, etc. as a last resort only. He was very happy to give me a referral to an anesthesiologist who would be able to help me obtain a medical marijuana prescription, and he himself prescribed me both a low dose muscle relaxant and some generic lidocaine topical cream to help numb areas with high amounts of pain, such as my shoulder. He also made sure to point out to me that in case it wasn’t something my insurance would cover, lidocaine is available over the counter (OTC), which I hugely appreciated. I am always so grateful when doctors try to be mindful (on their own initiative) that poor and disabled people don’t have the same access and coverage that richer folks do.

He also had me do some movements to check my range of motion (ROM), explaining to me the things he was looking for as he did (always a plus when the doc wants you in on things), and was incredibly gentle when checking my pressure points. My rheumy, Dr. Mehta, had been unnecessarily rough when testing mine, nearly causing me to cry out from the pain as she repeatedly dug her fingers into tender spots, never once acknowledging the amount of pain she was clearly putting me in or explaining what she was looking for. It wasn’t until I looked online that I understood that this was a trigger point examination, but I also knew that she neglected the fact that she isn’t supposed to use more pressure than it takes to whiten your fingernail when you press it when examining these areas. I believe that because I’m fat, she probably felt (wrongly) that she would need to dig into my body to be able to feel those parts, but it was completely unnecessary and cruel on her part to do so. Dr. Michalisin, however, used the correct pressure amount, was kind in his approach, and even was apologetic, acknowledging that he was putting me in pain but explaining why it was necessary, which I greatly appreciated. He also tested for a significantly larger ROM in my body and especially shoulder than did Dr. Mehta, which I also appreciated. And to top off my respect for him, when I mentioned that I was on the verge of triggering a migraine with certain motions, he was totally fine with not having me do a certain movement with my head and neck that I knew could push me over the edge.

To be taken for my word and respected and deferred to about my experience is such an incredibly validating and humanizing experience that is frequently completely missing from healthcare. I am more accustomed to doctors immediately dismissing and even mocking my pain or insinuating that I am just lazy because I’m fat. Chronic pain is often not believed by doctors, and it’s even worse when you’re fat because they seem to feel you caused it to yourself and therefore kind of deserve whatever they give you in examination. So to have Dr. Michalisin treat me as human and deserving of respect simply by that right was something I am incredibly grateful for and will not relinquish. This is the kind of treatment every single fucking human being on the planet deserves. Period. Absolutely no excuses.

Dr. Michalisin also didn’t subject me to taking a urine sample to prove anything and didn��t even bring up the idea of signing some ridiculous contract stating that I wouldn’t seek medicinal pain treatment from anyone but him while in his care. I understand that doctors face difficulties and fears in their fields, but forcing people who have few options while suffering from chronic pain into coerced agreements is abusive, stigmatizing, and horrendous. Even if someone is using drugs considered illegal, that is still a medical fucking condition that deserves treatment. There is plenty of evidence globally that demonstrates the necessity of legalizing drugs and chemicals to remove stigma and help protect users and help prevent them from dying. There is plenty of evidence globally that being able to seek help for a substance use issue helps decrease the chance of overdose and death in users because they don’t have to hide shit they’re dealing with and can make sure to get help if they want/need it in a way that won’t criminalize or stigmatize them.

Now, granted, I told him straight up that I wouldn’t be able to use things like Tramadol and Percocet because they trigger migraines in me and that I was concerned about their use because of addiction issues that run in my family. So I can’t say for sure that if you go to him and are going to request/receive any controlled substances that he won’t ask you to submit a urine sample or sign a contract. I really hope he doesn’t, but I can’t know that from my experience. So if you go in to see him, please keep that in mind. (Also feel free to let me know, anonymously or otherwise, if that does become the case and you would like folks to have a heads up.)

Anywho, to continue on with the appointment, I also asked him about TENS units (a friend of mine uses one for their chronic pain and seems to find relief) and herbal remedies, including topical ointments and such. He said that research has shown that over time that TENS units don’t always work/don’t have a consistent showing of relief, but when I interrupted him saying that they say the same thing about herbal options and acupuncture, he agreed very much and said that it’s something that can’t hurt you for trying it and that it does seem to bring relief to some, so it’s worth a shot to see if you’re one of the people it will help. He also agreed that herbal remedies might be helpful but that he sadly didn’t know much about them himself; however, he didn’t discourage me from trying and was open to the possibility that it could help. So if I try anything and find it helpful, I’ll bring it up to him in the future and see if he’ll hold on to that. I just hope he also takes any patients who are BIPOC as seriously as he did me, a white patient, if they bring it up as an option.

We also briefly discussed acupuncture, massage therapy, and chiropractics as treatment options, but those are all unfortunately not covered by my insurance. :\ [disappointed face] I’m hoping one day that will change, but in the meantime, it’s nice to know that it’s doctor-encouraged and not dismissed. If I ever get the money, massage therapy is high on my list since I know from experience that it helps me tremendously in ways pain killers do not.

I had mentioned corticosteroid injections as an option, and he explained to me that while it helps for an acute injury, for chronic pain such as mine, it could actually worsen things over time. I had a suspicion about that because I use an inhaler that has corticosteroids and had heard similar things, so I had been surprised when I saw it as a suggestion online for chronic pain in fibromyalgia. He said that if I get an acute injury, he’d consider it, but for something like this, he was afraid of putting me in more pain down the road. I wholeheartedly agreed and decided against the injections. It also made me think about all the doctors who have been insisting I try them for other issues such as my bone spurs in my heels. I had always been reluctant to try it, and now I’m really glad I waited for better informed folks on the issue who also didn’t have an investment in the hyper use of it as a treatment (hello, local podiatrist).

Speaking of chronic issues, he explained to me about my adhesive capsulitis (again, a condition my rheumy diagnosed me with and refused to tell me anything about) and said that it’s not, as I had suspected, something caused by my injury doing the self defense practice but simply a chronic condition that had likely been building up for years. He said that the good news is that it wasn’t an acute issue like a rotator cuff tear-- I laughed at it being called “good” news, but I got what he meant. It was also kind of nice to not have a doctor try to describe chronic pain as always worse than acute pain. I’m hoping that this is a sign of a healthy attitude of accepting chronic illness as another normal way of being human and not a sign of dismissing the debilitating nature of long term pain, but I really didn’t get a negative vibe from him like that at our appointment. Overall, he just acted as though this was all very normal from a medical standpoint and not something of a moral failing on my part as the patient.

He asked if I had ever been in physical or occupational therapy (PT/OT), and I told him about my three failed attempts to try for my back pain and carpal tunnel, mentioning that after the initial few appointments, it just became so stressful and overwhelming to go several times a week, spending hours at the appointments/rides to and fro, spending hours scheduling my rides and appointments, etc., that my days quickly became subsumed by treating my health and I had no energy or ability to pursue anything else at home. It seemed clear to him immediately that this was an issue, and I didn’t even need to explain that I needed more from my life than just exercising, scheduling medical appointments, and resting from those two things, and I was so damn glad I didn’t have to. He immediately just nodded his head and continued to discuss our other options.

It was a holy shit moment because, as a fat person especially, I always get treated as though if I don’t pursue every opportunity to “heal” the way the doctor feels I should, I’m deserving of and trying to be unwell and in pain. So to not be forced to explain myself, to be allowed to have desires in life for things other than exercise and therapies that only others (and not me) felt would help me was fucking amazing. A little confusing at first, but then it felt completely normal, which is how it should fucking feel. We deserve, as disabled people, to choose how we want to treat or not treat our conditions without being shamed for it or coerced into doing differently for someone else’s conception of what is healthy for us as individuals.

I also asked him about low impact exercises, and he told me basically what I already knew: using an elliptical, swimming, walking, and so on are all good, so I said I would just do my best to continue with that.

At the end, I also asked him about how to proceed with other issues, saying, “I’ve been seeing a lot of doctors the last couple of years, and I would like to stop.“ lol I explained that I had been through so many tests, kind of expecting that fibro might be a possibility and doing those tests to eliminate other conditions just to be sure, including with a gastroenterologist who ruled out IBS, Crohn’s, Celiac, parasites, etc., despite ongoing gastro issues. I explained that I was still going to check about the possibility of dysautonomia, which he encouraged me to look into to be sure, suggesting a neurologist would be best for that, and I explained that I wanted to basically just get confirmation that most, if not all, of my symptoms were attributed to fibro or were common issues with fibro, and I can finally stop looking and go home to rest and heal and pursue my life secure in the knowledge that this is my diagnosis. He said, “Yes.”

...

Y’all, I almost cried. ❤ [heart] I was so grateful. I’m tearing up just typing this. lol He said that since I’ve been worked up in so many ways and tests and have been able to rule out so much, that it’s pretty conclusive that fibro is the likely culprit for all my symptoms. We talked about the fact that fibro doesn’t cause things like IBS/IBD, migraines, etc., but that they’re often simply comorbidities and that I just have them now. I was so, so grateful to finally hear the words I’ve been needing for so long, the words I was looking for after 5 years of searching for an answer to this shit I was going through. I have a name for it. It’s real. There’s no cure, but I can try to treat it by doing all the things I’ve known all along would help. I don’t have to continue this hellish cycle of going into the doctor’s office so often that they know my name and face when I walk in the door and know my voice over the phone without even my name. God, I can’t wait to be unknown or barely remembered at all these doctors’ offices. It’s gonna be fucking glorious.

And let’s just take another moment to compare Dr. Michalisin with Dr. Mehta, shall we? In this instance, instead of shaming me for needing answers when I expressed confusion about my other non-fibro-caused symptoms or accusing me of seeking to be ill like Dr. Mehta did, Dr. Michalisin understood that I needed to simply hear answers and explanations about my condition and that I needed confirmation that I could stop looking for shit wrong with me because this is it. A conclusive diagnosis. Fucking thank you. What a beautiful thing to know.

We finally wrapped up the incredibly human-feeling appointment with a prescription for a muscle relaxant called cyclobenzaprine (commonly called Flexeril) at 5 mg, a prescription for lidocaine-prilocaine 2.5-2.5 % cream (commonly called Emla), and a referral for Dr. Daniel Hanono to discuss medical marijuana for my pain. He told me that if the relaxant helps, I don’t need to really come back, but that I was always welcome to come back, call him, or message him if it didn’t help or if something changed or something new popped up and we could try dose adjustments or something new. We exchanged pleasantries and parted ways, me feeling human in ways that I’m usually denied at doctor appointments, empowered by my pain treatment options, and hopeful that I could finally get even a minute amount of relief from my constant symptoms.

It felt so, so, sooooo fucking good to tell the receptionist no when they asked me if I needed a followup and even better to go, practically skipping, to CVS for my prescriptions which were all covered by my insurance and therefore costing less than five bucks out of pocket. It was like fucking Christmas in my house, I swear, that’s the most I’ve probably smiled since I got approved for my hysterectomy. lol What joy it was to have and what joy it was to feel joy again after so long!! ♡ ❤ ♡ ♡ ❤ ♡ ♡ ❤ ♡ [9 black and white hearts]

I’m so grateful to have been able to get this care. I’m so privileged and lucky to have been able to do so. Everyone deserves this in their lives. And if you haven’t been given this kind of treatment or been allowed to be and feel human, you deserve to be given that. You deserve kindness and respect and belief in your symptoms and difficulties and accessibility needs. You deserve pain treatment. You deserve care, quality and humane care. You deserve help and answers. My love and strength to you in the face of anyone who dares deny them to you. ❤ [heart]

[chrisrunsthemarathon]

How I (hopefully) ran the Marathon. Part iii

Right, the third instalment…

I know The Empire Strikes back gets widely lauded as the best, but Return of the Jedi has always been my favourite so let’s hope this is the same.

Well,  f#*k me, what a nightmare. I’ve never been a big believer in fate, or luck (you make your own right) and I’ve never been superstitious but I’m beginning to think this whole thing is jinxed…

The whole superstition/fate thing is a load of bollocks in my book, how can three lines that Mystic Meg writes in the paper fit for a 12th of the population or to put it into numbers, about 5 million people within the UK. Although I have to admit it is ironic that my Gran was a Cancer given the way she died, she was mauled to death by a giant crab. As I’ve said above though, I can’t help but think this whole thing is doomed to fail.

So, an update on how the running has been going since the last entry…… I haven’t done any. Nadda. None. Nil. Nope. Not a single run at all. Not the ideal preparation and not quite the stage that I wanted to be at. I guess I should explain why.

I finished work for Christmas and was looking forward to some family time, not to harp on about it but it’s not been the easiest few months as anyone who’s read the other entries will know and we thought, “yep, that’ll be good, let’s do some fun stuff”. I managed the Panto on the Friday afternoon which was ace but started to feel a bit rough on Christmas Eve so went off to bed with a couple of Paracetamol thinking I’d be fine when I woke up in the morning. What actually happened was that I woke at 3am so cold my teeth were chattering but I was dripping with sweat at the same time, a full on fever. All of Christmas Day I felt awful, like proper awful. I managed to get downstairs for the kids to open their presents but it was game over after that. I did make it to my sister’s house where I slept on the sofa for an hour and a half before heading home to bed, 24 Pigs in Blankets especially bought in for me untouched. I believe they’re still there..

I laid in bed for the next three days pretty much unable to move just assuming I had flu. Blokes are supposed to get it really bad right? So I figured this must be what they talk about when they say ‘man flu’. I’m really not one to cry wolf with illness or make a fuss so I just sucked it up. Tash moved my lamp into the spare room for me and I lay there for a few days. After a consultation with a student with a ring binder on the 111 service on the fourth day who told me they thought I was fine and just to rest I gave up and went to the doctor. The doc spent two minutes having a look and sent me to the hospital having diagnosed Pneumonia saying I needed IV antibiotics and fluids. This contrasted quite significantly with the diagnosis from my dad when he was driving me to the aforementioned appointment who told me I needed to “get up and about” and “show some mental resolve”. Then as I stumbled/limped/fell into the waiting room, literally feeling on the verge of death he commented “see, you look better already for the fresh air” You can take the man out of Yorkshire….

So without going into too many details, I spent 5 days in the hospital on various drips for fluids and antibiotics and oxygen masks etc trying to recover from the Pneumonia. I don’t know if anyone reading this has had it but I can see how it finishes off the elderly as its bloody horrible and I felt awful. Truly awful. I got sent home on New Years Day (oh yes, my New Years Eve was a belter, particularly when the dickhead in the next bed started making calls to people very audibly at 1am to say hello and the bloke opposite decided to pull out his own catheter and then started screaming “my willy’s bleeding”. He was a lovely old bloke opposite though, very caring, he even got up and tried to help the bloke next to him have a drink. Of course the poor bloke next to couldn’t sit up and would have drowned if the nurses hadn’t stopped him but it was a lovely gesture. You could write a great sitcom about life in an NHS hospital. In fact I should have done to stave off the boredom. Loads of the patients I saw are such ar*eholes. The bloke next to me on my first visit was shouting “lady, lady” all the time at the nurses and all he wanted was for them to plug in his mobile phone. Who needs to plug in a phone at 3am?! Then of course the nurses get distracted as they have 700 things to do and people calling them and go off. After the second time he stopped me getting pain relief by distracting the nurse to get his phone plugged in I had to politely point out that if he interrupted for something so menial again he’d never have to worry about charging his phone again after I’d shoved it where…… I know I know, I’m punchy but it’s been a tough 5 weeks….

To put it into context for those who think I’ve been soft, you get an infection marker in your blood (CRP it’s called, look at me, I’ve got all the medical terms now) and it should be between 0-5 usually. When I was admitted to hospital mine was 450 something.  After 6 days at home where I felt a bit better, but not good I went back to the doctor who said I should be better by now given the drugs and time and so he did another blood test and my CRP was still 170 odd so he sent me back to the hospital where I spent another 4 days. Fortunately not on the acute medical ward this time (well, I was for the first 24 hours and then I got moved) so to be honest the second stint on an different ward felt like I’d been moved to The Hilton. I had a chair, a bedside table and a window…! It turns out the fluid on my lung from the pneumonia hadn’t drained away and had become infected and caused my lung to partially collapse. Oh yes, I’ve been having all the fun….

I was told I’d need either a chest drain to get rid of the fluid or be moved to Southampton hospital for surgery, fortunately for me I only needed the former and after that, coming home and another couple of weeks R&R I’m starting to feel human again………..but I haven’t been for a run yet.

You also start filling the days with meaningless and pointless things in hospital as well. Like going to the toilet far more frequently than you need to because you get to walk there and it’s something to do. Then you spend a good 5 minutes determining if your stools are a type 3 or 4 according to the chart on the back of the door and should you be worried or not (surely they should just stick a newspaper in there). It really is/was that bad. Not to be cliché either but the food really is almost inedible. I know they cater for large numbers, and on a budget, but still, how people ever get better eating that is a mystery. Its worth publicly commenting Berni Hampton that the Spaghetti Bolognese you made me on my second stint in hospital saved my life. It was easily the best Spag Bol I’ve ever had and sitting there chatting to Grant while I polished it off was the best I’d been in 3 weeks, a real turning point.

Tash should get a shout out here as well. I’ve cited in previous entries about her ability to cope and get on with it but bugger me she really is awesome. As well as everything she has going on, and spending Christmas solo with the kids (family obviously but in terms of looking after the little one’s) she managed to do a month’s worth of early wake ups, breakfast shift, get them dressed, bath time routines, bedtime routines all on her own and still cope with work, general life and fit in coming to see me every day, bring me Smarties, deal with my moods about the whole thing and cheer me up/tell me to man up where appropriate. I’ve promised I’ll make it up to her. I won’t put my trainers on until I get out of the house now.

So far this has all been pretty depressing hasn’t it, it’s like an entry in Adrian Mole’s diary “today I measured my pecker, still fuc*ing small”…

So the marathon………and running and where I’m up to with that. Well,…… I’m still convinced I can do it. Various members of my family, friends and most importantly my wife have told me that there’s no chance and I’m an idiot for even considering it. I’ve spoken to Rebecca at Anthony Nolan and they’ve been brilliant and told me I can defer and do it next year for them if I want to and just continue my current fundraising but with no pressure to do two lots (ie. For two years entries). I guess I won’t be the first person to ever pull out should I have to. I should note at this stage that I definitely will do it, even if I have to defer and do it in 2018. People have been amazing with their kindness and generosity for the charity and that’s not been missed and this isn’t a ‘get out of jail card’ for me, I will do it and I will make sure I put myself through it for those donations. Every penny is vital and I want to make sure I’ve earned it. Especially when you look at some of the incredible donations like that anonymous one for £1,000. Ha ha, anonymous, yeah right, we ALL know who that was (love you mate, can’t wait to get back in our favourite restaurant). That one also specified I had to do it in 3 and a half hours or pay it back and that target time might be beyond me this year now I’m 6 weeks behind schedule and my lungs are still like that scene in the The Matrix when Neo is reborn and comes out gasping for air.

So I’ve decided I’m going to let the professionals make the decision. I have a follow up with a respiratory consultant on Monday and they’re going to X-ray my lungs and see how I’m doing. I’ll ask them outright if I can run and if they say no, it’ll be put back to 2018. Definitely not the outcome I want, possibly for the best but I’ll be desperately disappointed if that’s what they say. Having been so ill however, I don’t want to go through that again and if they tell me my body can’t cope in three months time then I won’t risk it. Hopefully they’ll tell me I’m good to go and I can pick up the training. Otherwise I’ve got a hotel room going spare on the 22nd. There’s no point using it on Marathon Day otherwise, it’s packed and you can’t get anywhere…

In a bit of good news, all of those emails and looking for contact details finally paid off. The bloody nice people at the Manchester United Foundation sent me a signed football that turned up in the post the other day. All I have to do is send them details of what I do with it/how much I raise and they’ll forward me on a certificate of authenticity with it as well. What a nice bunch and a terrific gesture from the League Cup Runners Up 2017. Looking at it, I think if I auction it I’ll raise less than if I raffle if as I’m reliant on one person paying lots at an auction so I’m going to advertise it as far and wide as I can at £1 a raffle ticket. I’m film it all and make it all visible so if you’re interested in a ticket, two or more let me know and I’ll work out the best way to collect the money etc. It goes without saying that 100% of the money taken will go to the charity. There’s no fees, costs anywhere, they gave me the ball for nothing so it’s all going to Anthony Nolan.

Running wise I’m going to give it a go at the weekend with a slow/short run just to test the water. I gave 9 holes a whirl this week and that felt OK (other than the fact my putting was dreadful but that’s to be expected after 5 weeks). I had a little bit of pain in my back where the drain was the next day but it’s cleared up pretty quickly. I guess we’ll just have to see if I make it back from my run on Saturday morning. Hopefully I’ll feel fine, trample mud all through the house and we’ll be back to normal.

And that’s where I’m up to. I’m sorry it wasn’t very funny, or cheery, or positive but it’s reflective of the past 5 weeks for me. I’ll keep you posted with a short entry early next week on the verdict (if anyone is even reading this..) In the meantime, if you want to sympathy sponsor me the link is still in the first entry on this blog page. I try to keep a positive outlook if I can and I always like to look for a silver lining, I lost loads of weight over Christmas (almost two stone in that first week of illness), I didn’t spend any money and if you notice, I haven’t moaned once about the pain in my legs………

Love,

Chris x