#humans: how dare you tell me to go fuck myself! lets keep beating you!!!

[snekdood]

saw the other day someone say that "mary sues are for people who think everyone should treat them like they're the best ever" and buddy, trust me, at no point am i under the delusion that people will be nice to me in a normal and sufficient way. this is how i *wish* people treated me, not how I expect them to or think they should. trust me i know humanity sucks and will never be cool and nice, dont you worry, dont need to prove my point more, making me retreat even more to a fantasy world because clearly there's nothing here in humanity for me so w/e

[helleboretks]

Relax, You Two

This is a Ler!Riza, Lee!Edward and Lee!Ling tickle fic, with a little bit of Lers!Mustang and Hughes!! If this isn’t your forte, no need to read!

This is also Post-Promised Day, with the good ol’ Alive!Hughes au!

Summary: Riza easily notices how the two boys are still paranoid after it all. In her opinion, they need a day off.

The Hawk’s Eye catches all in her gaze.

A slight of hand, a petty crime preparation, the key to taking down drug rings. No matter how big or how small it may be, she sees it. She can stare at it as if it were clear as day. Nothing slips past her gaze, and everyone knows it.

So how could these two boys ever think their paranoia would go unnoticed?

Riza sees the way Edward throws himself into more research, almost in hysteria if he doesn't. She sees the way Ling gets jumpy near a window, or a door, or any dark place just big enough to hide a human.

Riza sees the way Edward stares off as Alphonse rests in the hospital, mere weeks after the Promised Day. The way his hand is placed on his brother’s chest, as if he can’t believe there is a beating heart just below the surface of pale skin, as if it will be ripped away from him if he wasn’t there to protect his little brother.

And Riza sees the way Ling’s body is constantly tense, fingers itching for something to curl around–something sharp to defend himself with– and how his head swivels about, scanning every inch and every crevice of every room he’s in.

Paranoia can do a lot to kids so thoroughly traumatized. She knows the feeling.

It does not mean she will let this slide.

So she took them for a day out with her.

.

.

.

It didn't really work.

She had tried to take them to a clothing store, and as a result she had to compensate for thoroughly checking every rack they went to in order to quell Ling's whining. He wouldn't dare come so close to them until she did.

She tried a jewelry store next, and all Edward would talk about was 'Alphonse would like this' or 'Alphonse would like that'. Which wasn't bad at all, mind you. She thought it was rather sweet, actually.

But 'I hope Al is okay' and 'Those doctors better treat him well' or 'I really need to check on Al so I should go' weren't exactly good examples of relaxing.

She took them to as many places as she could within four whole hours, and nothing seemed to bring their guard down all that much, save for a few seconds of vulnerability at least twice or thrice.

It's a concerning situation for them to be in.

And she can't let this slide.

So she vowed to do something as soon as possible.

That comes into play when they find themselves in Mustang’s office.

It doesn’t take very long for the boys to start up their bantering by Edward’s desk, going back and forth about some topic she couldn’t distinguish (or maybe they were flying through a whole plethora of topics at once, she wouldn’t be surprised if they were capable of that).

For once, she allows herself to do some minor paperwork from the comfort of the couch, seeing as there isn’t much to do today anyways. She had deliberately cleared her schedule of anything major today just to spend some time with the boys, after all.

She doesn’t really try to involve herself in whatever it is they are arguing over, at the moment, but the argument seems to find its way to her anyways.

“Lieutenant!” Edward whines aloud as he flops against the cushions to Riza’s left. She turns to him as Ling huffs with crossed arms, but he clearly seems to be holding in his amusement of the situation.

“Yes, Edward?” It’s not often she gets to hear this whiny tone from him, given he isn’t much of a person to complain–around her at least, she doesn’t feel very sorry for the others–, so she decides to provide them both with her attention.

“There’s this damn Xingese phrase that Ling keeps saying and he won’t tell me what it fucking means!-” “Well I think I’d like to keep my things to myself, Ed!” She blinks slowly as they start their back and forth again almost immediately.

“If you wanna keep it to your damn self, don’t say anything!”

“Well I’m not gonna tell a lie, am I? Nǐ kànshàngqù hěnpiàoliang!!”

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT FUCKING MEANS!? I DON’T SPEAK BROKE ALIEN-”

Ling lets out a wheeze at that, laughing out ‘Broke Alien!?’ as he clutches his sides. Riza lets out a soft sigh as Edward grumbles and complains. They seem so carefree here. At first glance, anyone would assume so. Just two kids bickering and going at it over a silly phrase in Xingese.

But Edward’s shoulders are tense, and Ling falls into a seat on the other side of Riza, posture defensive, ready to fight back. His arms are the most mobile part of his body as they bickered; crossing, flailing, gesturing, expressing. They never stop, and they always stray too close to his pockets.

Edward’s bouncing flesh leg says a lot as it is, but the way he’s hunching so much seems to seal the deal.

It most certainly does for Riza.

She sighs, tossing the pen onto the table before her as she lets the papers fall onto that table with it. “That’s quite enough boys.” She spoke up.

Before either of them have time to properly react, she gently presses their heads against her lap, shutting up the duo immediately; Edward’s silence spoke volumes of realization, whilst Ling’s…she isn’t quite sure what he might have been thinking.

She’s done this to Edward a few times in the past years, but it has been a while she must admit. Perhaps she’s gotten rusty? Only one way to truly find out.

“Lieutenant, please.” Edward muttered as Ling absentmindedly turned on his back, spacing off. Edward’s face steadily grew rosey as she did not, in fact, let them up.

“I’ve been trying to help you two relax all day. Although, I suppose it would have been futile no matter what I tried. Or so I had thought.” Riza casually spoke as Edward tensed up, throwing his arms around his torso and ducking his face into his chest. He knows better than to try and escape anyways, the first few times he did were always a hellish reminder, she knew that well. The only thing he can really do is feebly try and protect himself, whilst his partner stays entirely oblivious.

“Huh?” Ling eventually hums, confused with a tilted head. Riza smiles down gently at him, disarmingly. He smiles right back at her, eyes closed with a grin of cheeky cuteness. Innocent and harmless.

Until she digs her nails into Ling’s side.

The yelp that greets them is high and startled, and Edward flusteredly flinches as Ling begins to giggle feverishly, squirming away from her touch. “H-Hehehehehey!! What gihihihives!?” He cries out, rolling this way and that under her arm.

“It’s simply a last resort. Perhaps I should have started with this first?” Riza contemplates to herself, seeking out anything that will get her a laugh out of the soon-to-be-Xing-emperor. He squeals at a pinch to the ribs, so Riza takes advantage of that, scribbling all along his ribs-wherever she can reach. Which is pretty much everywhere, he doesn’t seem to know how to protect himself.

Meanwhile, she smiles down at the flustered blond to her left, the anticipation alone having him flinch every time her fingers so much as twitch. “You seem awfully nervous, Edward. Is something wrong?” She asks, putting on yet another innocent facade.

“Nohoho…!” Edward practically whines, turning his head all the way away from her and giggling when Ling jerked and pressed the top of his own head against Ed’s. He gasps when her finger traces down his side, and almost instinctively snatches and holds it up.

Ah yes, as if that will save him from the inevitable.

For now, she concentrates on Ling.

“You don’t seem to be trying to protect yourself, Ling. I wonder why that is?” Ling squeaks as her hand travels to his neck, and his legs kick out like an excited little puppy as she flutters her fingertips at the junction of his neck and shoulder. He really seems to be enjoying this, isn’t he?

“That tihihickles! Pleehehehehease, oh myhihihi god!” Ling begs, his fists shaking as if he doesn’t know whether or not to grab her hand away. Her heart practically swells at such a cute display, she can’t help but tease her fingers right under his chin.

At that, Ling jerks harshly and his eyes shoot wide open as a loud squeal rips out of him. “TICKLEEES!! NAHAHAHAHA!!!” He shrieks, startling both blondes as he loudly laughs and shakes his head, raven hair flying wildly. She almost couldn’t keep her fingers on his chin from all his squirming.

“A sensitive chin? Now that’s new.” Riza observes, quelling the urge to smirk at the way Edward rolls half-way onto his stomach, ears pink and flustered. He even lets go of her hand, which she doesn’t waste hovering it right over his spine. He’s probably had enough of waiting, anyways.

“Are you ready for your turn, Edward?” Her nonchalant question makes the boy flinch, and he shakes his head rapidly with giggles already spilling out. “Why are you laughing already? I haven’t even touched you yet.”

“Be-becahause Ling’s laughihing!” Edward complains. “IHIHIH’M SAHAHARRY!! IT TIHIHICKLES-IT-IT-IHIHIHI CAHAHAHAN’T STAHAHAHAP!!!” Ling sputters and wheezes out between his laughter. “Edward, how could you laugh at your friend like that?”

Edward stutters for an answer, but the moment he opens his mouth all that comes out is a loud, high-pitched yelp as Riza drags all five fingers down the length of his spine, causing him to arch away.

He exploded with laughter, maybe even louder than Ling’s as she massages her knuckles into the center of his shoulder blades, a loud resounding snort escaping along with it. That only causes Ling to laugh harder, scrunching up his neck.

So she tries the next best thing and goes for his belly.

He immediately melts at the affectionate tickling.

He finally goes for some form of defense, balling up fetally to try and protect his poor belly, but Riza’s hand was already there and it wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

“Oh wow, I’m surprised that you’re both so ticklish.” Riza happily comments to the two snorting, giggling, cackling boys, heads in her lap with varying degrees of blush on their faces. Carefree, just like she’d been going for all day.

No tension in the shoulders, no discreet defensive stance, no underlying tension like only minutes before.

It was just them, giggling and cackling away like nobody’s business.

“HEHEHEHELP MEHEHEHE!!!” Edward cried out, causing the smile Riza sports to stretch further. “I CAHAHAN’T!!! I CAN’T-PLEHEHEHEHEHEAAAHAHAH-” The poor thing snorts gain when she switches to his side.

Ling tries with all his might to latch onto something-anything to ground himself, eventually finding Edward’s arm and holding on for dear life as he giggled himself silly. However, Riza decides to take advantage of this, and the Xingese soon-to-be-emperor squeals and tries to defend himself when she starts drilling right under his arm.

This, as luck would have it, clearly didn’t weaken his grip on Ed’s arm, only causing him to fling it up and out of the way and only making Edward even more accessible to her.

This was almost too easy.

Edward screams out the moment Riza targets his armpit, his thrashing increasing tenfold as his legs begin to kick and kick endlessly. She had to switch to the other one just so he wouldn’t throw himself off the couch.

“LEHEHET ME GOHOHO!!! LIHIHIHIHING!! LETGOLETGOLETGOLETGO-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH NOT THERE NOT THEHEHEHEHERE!!!” Pleading got him nowhere, his free arm flailing wildly and frantically colliding with Ling’s shoulder as the two poor teens seemed to only make it worse for each other. It was beyond hilarious to witness.

“STAHAHAHAP, I BEHEHEHEG I BEG-PLEHEHEHEHEASE!!!” Ling failed miserably to keep himself together, arching his back away as if that would ever help him escape. She didn’t even have to tease either of them like Colonel or-God forbid-Havoc would have certainly done; her staying silent through this ordeal only seemed to make them beg more.

Edward yelps out curse after curse, with Ling squealing and pleading desperately by his side as she gives them no mercy. And honestly, she would have given them this kind of treatment for an extra twenty minutes or so.

If it weren’t for Edward accidentally grabbing and clawing at Ling’s shoulder blade, that is.

“HOLY-FAHAHAHAHAHAHACK!!!”

Riza and Edward both jolted at the curse that split the air in two, and the former was so surprised that she immediately let up in her assault, causing the two teens to fall right off the couch in a mess.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuhuhuhuck!!” Ling desperately pawed at his shoulder blade, trying to vanquish the tingly sensation as Edward melts into a fit of natural laughter across from him, clutching his stomach.

“Whahahahat the fahahack!? When’d you start cuhuhursing, idiot prince!?” Ling balled in on himself with embarrassment, letting out a high pitched whine that had Edward positively rolling. Riza could do nothing but sigh fondly as Edward’s relentless laughter was teasing enough for the Xingese Prince’s ‘bad manners’.

Well, he kept laughing until the door was pried open, at least.

“Lieutenant Hawkeye! We heard screaming and-”

Everyone in the room paused the moment both Colonel Mustang and Brigadier General Hughes entered the room, an almost awkward kind of silence kicking in.

“...Ah.”

“DON’T YOU ‘AH’ ME, DUMBFUCK!!!” Edward was quick to get defensive, pointing an accusatory finger at the two now smirking men, face redder than the coat he used to wear. Ling lets out an aborted wheeze as the Colonel makes eye contact with Riza.

She can just tell what he’s asking for.

And she, once again, shows no mercy.

“The boys are all yours, Colonel, General.”

It hadn’t even taken five seconds before something crashed in the office, the frightened shriek of the former-Fullmetal Alchemist and the loud ‘HAVE MERCY!!!’ from the Xingese Prince only serving to make her smile more indulgent.

The two men got to work on making the melody of their laughter pound through her very ribs, as Riza herself simply picks up the files and pen she previously abandoned.

She breathes in the positivity like well-made coffee, chuckling to herself as the four, man and boy alike, run and race around the room, the two youngers getting caught and escaping with barely their lives to spare, only to get tackled once again for their sweet, uplifting laughter.

Yes, this was better than their paranoia.

Much, much better.

[myoshome]

Even though that life's path is full of rocks, I just hope that when I stumble… I still have teeth.

 As I am writing these words, it is now 9:30 pm on March 22, 2024.

I'm a new blogger, and blog with the main purpose of making money, but over time I think that this is a quite suitable place for me to relieve a bit of the burden and negative emotions in life.

I've been writing for nearly 2 months, and have been viewed by 42 people, while my friend, in the same period of time, had 200 views. The feeling of having to watch my friends excel while I still fall behind makes me really helpless and I feel very useless. At first, I only had 8 viewers. Somehow, that friend helped me increase to 35 people in just a few blinks of an eye, through some magical moves that I didn't understand.

I was very suspicious when he said he had 7 Google accounts. I didn't know if that guy was crazy and pitied me enough to use all 7 accounts to help me increase my rank or not. Even though I really hate pity, if my friend really helped me increase my salary in a cheating way out of pity, I think I would still forgive him. If it's true that strangers linger to look at my posts and that's the real power I have, I may feel hopeful and happy then.

See the title, anyway I don't want to show you too much of what I'm concerned about. Yes, I laugh at the difficulties in front of me and if it were human, I would tell "him":

" Beat me if you dare!"

Thinking positively, failure is the mother of success, so I still try to believe in myself every time I feel down and want to give up, the voices in my head keep trying to wake me up every time I feel like I'm falling when my body at some point fell into a state of contemplation and discouragement.

I have a family, a like-minded friend and a dream to take care of. I am now much more focused and disciplined. Other things, no matter how terrible, are probably just trivial matters after all. Sometimes when I sit alone in my room and lock the door, I often think about whether I am too weak or not. I fear myself, sometimes I hate it, because I both writing blog and write books. ... for nearly 3 years in a row and now I still haven't earned a penny. If I didn't have my family and friends by my side, I have no idea about WHAT THE FUCK would I be now?

A persistent loser, hahaha. Anyway, compared to the pressures out there, studying and everything I'm doing now isn't too stressful, so I'm forcing myself to gradually get used to this. My friend will go to America in a few months, which will probably be fun, I have to enter high school, try to study hard, graduate and go to university, hold a degree in my hand and make a living for myself.

But I really don't want my life to go like that, so here I am, a 14-year-old boy and his friend trying to make money with all their ability, gradually accumulating it, even though I still not earn any thing. There is no any fucking bucks for me to accumulating.

Stepping on the path where few people dare to step, even if at that time, you pretend to be brave, you are actually very brave. If you are like me and my friend, trying to pursue your dreams no matter the circumstances, then we are quite similar. The fact, enormous amount of people around us hay sacrified there own dream to find money, just to pure living or exist on this fuking Earth. 

Just keep trying, let's continue walking on this path, if you fall then get up, if your leg is broken then just drag, it's okay to be slow but just keep moving forward, don't forget there's still a lot things and a lot of people are counting on us behind our back. Don't fucking give up, soldiers, it's you the one who have been choose to live on this life, God give us a purpose, we must find and DO IT!

Hope God will always give good things to those who dare to believe.

May God give better things to those who persevere.

And may he also give the best to those who never give up.

I also hope he will give all of us one more day to keep trying to move on.

Wishing you a good day 

[pearblossommina]

ToG Read-a-Long, Queen of Shadows, day 9

I’m so normal about this chapter set you guys

Ch 52

"Not yet," he said roughly, his own breathing uneven. "Not now.”

BOO

BOOOOOOO

Rowan you TEASE. How dare you.

Please, my crops, they’re so dry. Please. Chomp down on her neck. Mark her up, be a beast, I know you want to do it, SO DO IT! You think Aedion has never heard the sound of people having sex in the next room?!? It’s fine! He’s a big boy, he’ll get over it!

You can be as loud as the hell you want when you’re making love, don’t let the neighbors stop you from having fun; they’ll have peace and quiet when you’re good and done.

Ch 53

AGAIN?!?

(SJM: hey are you turned on? Excited to read a chapter about Rowan and Aelin dancing around the idea of maybe potentially consummating?)

(Me: yeah yeah gimme gimme!)

(SJM: *writes about Dorian filled with doom and gloom and sorrow instead*)

(Me: *sigh*)

Who edited this. Who let her get away with this. I need to know where to send the bill for my whiplash.

Ch 54

Heyyyy well this is a surprise

Kaltain beat back the demon

(With fire) (mmmm)(sounds good I’m pretty sure we can muster some fire)

Good job Kaltain, can you tell our baby boy Dorian!

Ch 55

Lysandra god damn it

How dare you get kidnapped, my crops are turning to dust in the field and I’m so thirsty, I can’t be concerned for you right now

You better not be about to be killed violently like Nehemia

(I can’t keep going through all this intensity) (I CAN’T)(my feelings are all over the place)(what is even going ON)

Ch 56

I feel like I am actually being pranked right now

There is no way

There is no way she can keep getting away with this

Is the next chapter going to be another sad Dorian chapter, SMH

how much longer can these two possibly hold out! Another temptation and another postponement… yeesh

Ch 57

I’m getting so sick of all the war and high stakes stuff happening in this book

I AM IN HELL

Like genuinely I can tell this is important and I should care about what’s going on right now and yet, HEAD EMPTY, DON’T CARE

I WISH I CARED

BUT I DON’T

Ch 58

Plot!

I care a little bit

It made me kinda excited when Dorian managed to talk in his own voice, Dorian, what the hell have you been waiting for? The right moment when Aelin happened to be watching?

Lol

Is grandmother Matron fucking the king?

Probably not, since he has a wife

I just want to see Manon eat everybody, actually

Ch 59

My how the turn tables, CHAOL WANTS TO KILL DORIAN NOW

Chaol, are you fucking kidding me? This whole time you have been the only one holding onto hope

How could you let your hopes die now? Don’t you believe in good triumphing over evil? Weren’t you fighting for a better world, for humanity or whatever? What happened, Chaol? I thought you were on my side.

I thought we were doofuses together

Don’t leave me here to be a doofus by myself

I find Manon so sexy especially how she just effortlessly holds Chaol captive. I still think Baba Yellowlegs is the silliest name for any villain, it just rolls off the tongue in such a funny way. Shouldn’t Manon be glad that Baba Yellowlegs died, though? I mean maybe it’s bad when a witch dies because they’re so strong, but the fact that she died is what caused her and the other clans to join together and rival for a new Wing Leader, sooooo actually, Aelin did you a service, baby. If you look at the bright side. If you are capable of looking at the bright side.

Lol

Yeah! fight each other

Hot!

Ch 60

“If he had been one inch farther behind, it would have hit his heart.”

Aw shit be careful Rowan! You can’t be out here getting mortally wounded! I am so sick of it! Get your act together, what do you think this is, an action novel? NO, dummy, it’s a steamy romance, I don’t have time for your bleeding heart heroics! Literally!

The Manon x Aelin fight is pretty hot actually

I am here for it

Guys this chapter set gave me hell

IT GAVE ME HELL

It wasn’t a very LONG set but boy was it hard for me to pay attention lmao, and I KNEW, I KNEW the stuff happening after the Rowaelin tease was important but I was like what the actual fuck is this! Get back in bed! No! I hate myself - I hate everything!

[bazzybelle]

Yeah I'm on the same boat.

I think Hob was horny for Dream from the get go. Hob, in my mind is down to fuck all the time.

I think he started feeling something different from horny in 1589, when Dream went off with Shaxberd. Like a "why am I angry? He can go with stupid fucking Shaxberd, I don't care."

1689 Hob is dealing with A LOT... but I think Dream showing him some kindness and care for his well being would help in making him fall for him.

This is where I think Hob started to truly fall in love with Dream. 1789, he's actively flirting and defending him, trying his feelings out, to see if they're reciprocated. And judging by Dreams "fuck me" eyes, and his caution to remain safe (again, care for Hobs well being), I would assume that Hob thinks the feelings are reciprocated.

Then 1889 happens... And yeah, Hobs in love and probably trying to shoot his shot, but he's also aware that maybe a creature like Dream isn't down to fuck some human. That's ok... he'd be happy as his friend. Except we all know what happens... I think Hob truly believes that Dream will come back and that this is just a tantrum.

I mean he's right, but 1989 happens and from Hobs perspective, it looks like he truly did lose Dream for good. I think Hob choosing to keep waiting says a lot and it's typical of his character to keep going. He'll be back the next century and the next and the next. Until his friend gets over himself. His love and faith are strong.

Except now, when Dream comes back in 2021, yes he admits that they are friends, but Hobs gonna be cautious for a bit. At least until Dream gives him something to work with.

Which brings us to Dream. I agree that until 1689, Dream thinks very little of Hob... except as his Project or Bet with Death. Like he just wants to prove that this idiot will eventually choose death. He barely hears more than 3 sentences from Hob in 1489 before he gets up and walks away. As for 1589, he doesn't care for human riches... he's heard all this before. Shakespeare has something more interesting... Creating dreams and stories... HIS domain. So yeah... sorry Hob...

1689 is when I think things shift for Dream. Not love per se, but seeing Hob as interesting... He is a man who spent a lifetime (80 years) hungry, cold, beaten... just the lowest. Dream expects him to give up and he's maybe a little sad that Hobs life has to end this way.

Except... he chooses to live? Despite EVERYTHING, he still wishes to fight??? Here is where the shift begins.

1789. Dream is disappointed in Hobs choices and feels he can tell him so. Dream expects better from the man who was once beat and starving and desperate for aid. He doesn't have to tell him anything here. He's simply supposed to hear his experiences and ask if he wants to die yet... His choices shouldn't matter. Except they do... Dream knows Hob is better than this and advises him to make better choices and reflect on what he's done.

I think Hob defending Dream woke up a lil bit of Desire within Dream. I think he likes having someone defending him so nobelly. It excites him. Like the stories of the handsome man defending his King or... lover, perhaps?

Anyway it doesn't happen and they move on, but let's put a pin on that Desire. I think this has a lot to do with why Dream acts the way he does in 1889.

1889 comes around, and they're both really comfortable and warm with each other. I think when Hob tells him that he's looking for friendship, he's 100% offended because how DARE this human try to insinuate that he needs him.

HOWEVER, I also think that massive reaction is the same one Hob had back in 1589. "WHY am I so angry? Why am I furious that he wants to be friends?! It's because he dares to overstep, that MUST be it. It has NOTHING to do with my desire for him. And to prove that, I shall walk angrily out into the rain and protect myself from feeling ANY desire at all. Fuck Desire and their shenanigans!"

Except... not exactly in those words, but you get the point.

So when DOES Dream fall for Hob?

1989.

I am convinced that 1989 was when Dream finally admits to himself that the feelings inside are romantic. And it's only because he's stuck in the fishbowl during their meeting (because he KNOWS when it comes... during the Hob to Dream 1989 shift, we can see he looks up... he KNOWS) that he's able to actually reflect.

Without the constant noise of the universal unconscious, he can finally THINK for himself. And when June 7, 1989 comes around, it's his relationship with Hob that he reflects on. And he misses him. He misses him so much.

So much so that his heart hurts.

Once Dream gets out and collects his tools, he practically has to be convinced to find Hob. I think he's feeling shame and guilt and doesn't think Hob wants to see him.

Seeing the destruction of the White Horse would verify that... except... the sign? The New Inn? It can't be...

It is... Hob waited. All those years, he waited. And I think this makes Dream love him even more. The only other person who waited for him was Lucienne, his beloved raven, confident, and friend.

But he won't push. He has to earn back Hobs trust. So he smiles and calls him friend and sits down, ready to begin mending things.

I think it takes them MAYBE a month before they're making out. And Dream is the one who prompts it.

Its bad when Bruce is less of a party pooper than you. And I do believe that Dream fell in love with Hob in 1689 but not pursue it. You can dispute it but I will not be listening.

[babydinojojo]

Day One/Entry one

Hello everyone, my name is Jordan but y'all can call me Jordie. Usually im on discord but i need another place to post my thoughts about everything on here. Well Here I go

I just finished cleaning my bathroom finally after my mom kept rushing me to fucking finish it as usual breh ;-;, but its okay now cause i can just chill out. So let's start on todays topic because I only have two things on my mind. So lets start with my partner Krisy she's just amazing and the girl of my dreams, i'm really glad i met her and have her in my life, she has her ups and downs and moments when she gets really angry but that's okay because at the end of the day i value our time together and the fact that we spend everyday together really puts a smile on my face. She's everything i wanted in a girl, she's pretty, amazing, adorable, chill, and I would do ANYTHING for her even if it means beating the shit out of someone who dares crosses her or upsets her in anyway shape and/or form. She isn't perfect to be honest here yes, but she's perfect in my eyes and she will always be no matter what.

I just hate the fact that i can't tell her shit sometimes and i struggle to tell her things that go on, just like a few days ago... I couldn't tell her that Kasu was my ex and the fact that the day we started dating.. i was heading home from the emergency room because I had a major anxiety attack that day at school. She tells me things all the time, and yes she lies but still we all lie we ain't perfect, but too be honest it's not fair that she tells me everything and i sometimes forget to tell her things, i always stress on myself there are no secrets, but yet.. I fail even at that.. I really don't wanna hurt her or lose her because i can't tell her things.. and im actually started to keep things fresh cause she's been doing the heavy lifting with that and I haven't. Yesterday I suggested that we watch Maleficent or however the fuck you spell it and then i started picking some new games more and more instead of picking the same old shit everyday.

But with all that said, I love her so much more than anything and anyone in the entire world and i wanna keep her in my life.. Hell i even plan on Moving to Missouri with her soon hehe but first we gotta get there anything and everything is possible and i don't wanna jinx things you know??

The next topic i wanna discuss is trains and the upcoming Class 700 release for Train Sim World 3. I was operating an R32(2007-2010 Phase I) on the B Line in Openbve this morning it was actually a decent run and i only overran one station, im slowly getting the hang of it but I wanna explore other things, that where Train Sim World 3 comes in to play. That game made me discover something new about myself and made me more open to trying other countries and seeing how their train system works. My personal Favorite UK line is the Brighton Mainline and my favourite UK Trains are the Electrostars(Classes 375,377,387), and the Thameslink Class 700(Which is coming out for Train Sim World 3), at the end of the day tho i always stick to the NYC Subway especially the R32s and R42s since they were my childhood and those subway cars were always there for me even during my darkest days back in Middle School, now a days you don't really see them anymore just for fan trips, I like the R179s Yea.. but i just wanna see the 32s and 42s come back because I miss being a child, not 17 going on 18 and this bullshit. The last good year for Humanity imo was 2019 and the fact that everyone was to realize that nuclear war a seriously a bad idea, but look at the world now, we are on the verge of a devestating war. America is more divided than ever OVER sexual orientation,there is a good chance i might end up coming out as Demi(He/They) but Im still straight i mean I feel like i am guy and i do identify as one, but yet i feel like i don't fully identify as one I know my parents and Krisy will support me and so will Dexter but will Jayden Support is the question, eh its fine. Im getting off topic I know but yea America is more divided over LGBTQ and it's such a shame because at the end of the day nobody should have to feel ashamed of who they are and what they identify as, it's not fair to them because the community fought for these rights and its about to be all for nothing only for them to be taken away.

We really need to stand against this, and even as a straight person i always support the lgbtq community no matter what.

The Class 700 i am really looking forward to running it in Train Sim World 3 on Tuesday and Mainly on Brighton Main Line. I was gonna pick up the Glossop Line, but then i thought Nah. Alright that's all i got for now see y'all soon

[littlewhispersofsolitude]

101 Random Dialogue Prompts

"Why would you do this to me?"

"My head keeps spinning- oh, wait. It might actually be my feet."

"Good god, you're gorgeous."

"Get your face out of the cake!"

"I cannot believe I married you."

"Remember when you told me that I'd never achieve anything in life? Well, it turns out you were right."

"I used to compare your attention span to a goldfish, but I've since then learned that you are much, much worse."

"Every time you sneeze really loudly, it kills my soul just a little knowing that our future child might inherit that."

"How do you feel about meeting my parents? You don't want to? Oh, well they're pulling up in our driveway right now."

"Get the hell away from me."

"You said no, right? Please tell me you said no."

"Maybe I want to be unsuccessful and live with my parents my entire life- no, never mind. No, I don't."

"I'm so lucky to have you in my life. I hope you know that."

"It burns!"

"You're an angel."

"Other than the countless times I was wrong, when have I ever been wrong?"

"What did I do to deserve this?"

"Knock em' dead, gorgeous! I believe in you!"

"Don't hit me!"

"You are so unbelievably strong. So, so strong."

"I hardly liked you to begin with."

"What is wrong with you?"

"You make me so unbelievably happy."

"I am so fucking in love with you, and it hurts that you don't even notice."

"What have you done now?"

"Give me a twirl, honey."

"Well, when is the soonest that you can get here?"

"I'm so tired."

"Wrap them up in the warmest blanket you have before I fucking end you. They're not going to die. Not today."

"You mean nothing to me."

"I'm cold. May I please wear your jumper until we get home?"

"Pack your shit and leave. I mean it."

"You're so talented!"

"I'm proud of you."

"Let's keep it that way."

"I'll kill you."

"I understand the irony of complaining about my hot chocolate being too hot, but nonetheless, fix it, please."

"I'm overwhelmed."

"You only sent one heart instead of two - what's up with that?"

"When have I ever been wrong before?"

"I feel like I barely know who you are anymore."

"I know what's best for you."

"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but there's a hundred seconds in a minute, right?" - "No, there's sixty se- oh, damn."

"Tell me you love me one more time."

"You lied to me."

"God, I hate myself so much sometimes."

"Look at how gorgeous my love is."

"I love that you think I care."

"You just keep coming with the surprises, don't you?"

"Wait- wait, no, not literally-"

"Hey, slow down! I'm a short-ass, remember?"

"Get the fuck off of me!"

"The sheet keeps coming off the bed and I'm just about ready to stick a knife through it or myself."

"Never in my life have I been so insulted."

"Do that again! I dare you- no, I double dare- wait, I triple fucking dare you."

"Kiss me. Kiss me like you damn well mean it."

"Oh, look! Rain! Looks like I get to stay inside like I normally do and not feel guilty about it."

"Do you still love me?"

"All you did was go to space and possibly find signs of life on other planets. I wouldn't call it that cool.."

"You've been through like, three different phones this year and It's only June!"

"The party doesn't start for another five hours; what're you doing here so early?"

"If we die tonight, It's your damn fault."

"I just got soap in my eyes! Fuck! This is the end!"

"My ass hurts.. no! Not- god, you're a dirty minded little shit."

"Your name is Dale? Do you mind if I call you an asshole instead? Seems more fitting."

"I felt that in my soul."

"You can't do this!"

"Wow, look at the sun.. hey, hey, no- don't look directly at it!"

"How's my day going? It's shit, thank you for asking. I woke up with a bitch of a headache and then my fucking Wi-Fi stopped working."

"Thank you for this cuddle time. I needed it."

"You have no idea how much I feel like strangling you right now."

"Why were you going through my personal belongings?"

"I've officially lost my will to live."

"Look at how gorgeous I look in this outfit. You can't beat this."

"I went fishing today, but unfortunately, I caught nothing but a cold."

"Heh.. sorry, that isn't funny."

"Eyes on the- oh, god; eyes on the road!"

"When I said to go out there and make new friends, I didn't mean to create realistic robots and you know that."

"Music is a person's best friend. We're being gender inclusive here."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"You do that and I'll leave you at the furthest Starbucks in town and make you walk home, you hear me?"

"Wow, I really am a piece of shit, aren't I?"

"You're a weak excuse of a human, you know that?"

"See that watermelon over there? That's about the size of my ass."

"What I don't have in looks - which is a lot -, I make up for with personality. Remember that."

"I do so have a special talent. I can wriggle my eyebrows. What can you do, huh?"

"Thank you for giving me a second chance."

"You know I'm right here, right?"

"I can see that you're active on Messenger, so answer my god damn texts!"

"You've got long nails; help me open this package."

"Words can't describe how good you look today, but numbers sure can. 4/10."

"My heart is beating... that's cool."

"If I buy you a pony, will you go on a five minute shopping trip with me into town?"

"You know what we should do for our next date? Take a nap together."

"Smell my feet; they really stink, don't they?"

"When will it end?"

"You and I are stuck together, Pumpkin. I promise."

"I have really bad reactions to certain noises. The worst one is when you open your mouth."

"You know, your cuddles seem to cure the worst of my sickness.. which is homesickness."

"How the hell do you look so good even when you're crying?"

"You leave them the fuck alone!"

[raki-fallfallingfallenfall-2]

memo; don’t save me, if you want to save me.

“In front of your bloody grave, I talked. To you.

‘You can be sulking as much as you want. You can mess our kitchen and put human’s fingers or heads or whatever in frige as much as you need.

I’d never complain and never tell you to clean that up. Never make you wash dishes, never force you eat or sleep.

I’d do anything, give you anything.

Tell me that you’re alive in any possible way you can. I’d learn even morse if that was it.

So just, please come back to Baker Street. I’m begging you. Stop being dead.

Come back to me. ‘ “

“John,”

“Sherlock, at those days, I couldn’t believe that I would never be able to tell you what I had to tell you for years. I’d been beating up myself that I wasted so many chances to do it.

There are too many things that I couldn’t tell you, that I couldn’t do for you.

And one of them was protecting you. “

“Well, that,”

“I heard about what had happened to you during you’d, …been not here. Of course I did from your brother. What am I if I didn’t? And yet, I’m angry with you. Oh, so much angry with you more than ever.

Because you’d never let me protect or help you. Because you’d never thought that I’m capable of.

“John that’s far from the truth. You’ve saved my life countless times,”

“Let me just clear about that Sherlock, okay, all I’ve done to save you, are throwing away my lives.

Just as same as you, Sherlock.

Why still can’t you see? That means I would rather literally die than loosing you, living stupid life without you. Your life, is more important, than mine, to me.

And, and if, you had understood that before that day, you would have told me what you were going to do. And you’d have let me do something I could. But you had not. Because you’d never even think about it. Because I’ve never told you about it. About, how much you’ve meant to me.”

“John, I’m, well, I…”

“Have you ever, even for a second, imagined how I would be, if you made me watch you falling and lying on the blood-covered pavement? I mean, have I ever asked you to protect me? By killing yourself? Have I ever made you feel that way? Have I begged you? Huh?”

“You…”

“What Sherlock? What?”

“You’d never understand what I’ve been through for-“

“You’ve been through for what? Don’t you dare say it was for me because I’ve never asked to!”

“For fuck sake, everything you talk and care about is only you. How you’d feel, how much you’d hurt. You think that I’ve done this so easily? How about my feeling John.”

“After all this time you’ve been keeping telling me that you don’t know about feelings and now you want me to care about what you feel?”

“Oh fuck you john.”

“No, fuck you, Sherlock! After listening everything I talked just a fucking minutes ago, you can’t just get it. With your genius brain.

I’m not caring about me, Sherlock. I’m caring about you by telling you that I wouldn’t want a any kind of life if it didn’t have you! For my fuck sake Sherlock, you should know that. As long as you’re not caring yourself, I could never be ok. You saving my life by killing you means you pushing my back from the cliff and killing me. “

“Why?”

“Excuses me?”

“Why does me saving you mean killing you?”

“Why doe—, are you serious? because I fucking love you idiot!”

“—what?”

“I don’t care how you feel about it. I know that you’re nothing like a fucking sociopath but kind, lovable man. But I’m not a stupid. I don’t expect you feel same way. This field doesn’t belongs to you. I mean romance, not a love. Because you can care about people deeply. You had literally thrown yourself for us. You love people, Sherlock.

I’d move out if you want and I’d help you finding a new flat mate and a job partner. I can keep living as long as I know that you exist in this world. Someday if I’m so lucky, I find someone to love and move on. “

“……”

“…Um anyway the point is, never do that again for anyone. Especially for me. Okay? Promise me Sherlock. …Sherlock. “

“Uh I, yes, I, I do, I promise. “

“I want you to say it out loud.”

“I never do that again for anyone.”

“Never do what?”

“Never take risk to save someone. Es-, especially you. “

“Well that’s a little…but okay I can compromise.

Um, and I’m, really sorry. For beat you up at that day, I didn’t know and observe that you’ve done that for me, for us, and even if that was not what I asked for but still I should have appreciated you. So, thank you. And I’m deeply sorry again.”

“Nah, that was, reasonable. And understandable. It’s fine.”

“Cool, then. Uh well, I gotta go. To my place I mean. Text me if you need anything. Good night, Sherlock.”

“Good night, John.”

John didn’t say “see ya” or “later”.

Sherlock stunned for a while and called him back and they fucked as fuck and live happily ever after.

[kdraababy]

mostheartlessbitchiknow;

What kind of a monster could be so heartless just to shut down their babysister from any chance of closeness to a “normal” family.?Female version of Lucifer damn near barely begins to explain the evilness that lies in my “sister”. For someone who can be a big sister to people who don’t share the same blood, name, mom, looks, etc... Sure as fuck never gave me the time of day. Hated me since birth, I didn’t deserve to not have her. Being a lost sad lonely girl all by herself in this fucked up world I really NEEDED YOU. You never loved me nor cared. I would have done anything you asked me to do, I woulda killed for you, I looked up to you... Now I look at you with a level of HATE I've never felt so strong in my heart it’s saddens me that I ever had to feel this... but I'm so broken inside because of you. You are the fakest bitch that I know, I could never turn away my family like you did. you think your better then everyone and you run from your problems worse then a drug addict does. for fucksake you move all the way across the states to hide from them. you’re gonna end up just like grandma Vicki did.. I should have known letting you know I found MY baby sisters that you would be so evil to ruin their own opinions and cloud there heads with fake ass shit that you think that you know anything about when in all reality your so naive and have no clue but think you have it all figured it out. You’re a selfish, jealous, drama filled cunt. You have no idea of half the things MY mom, has been through you think you got her all figured out huh? WRONG. you don’t even know her, you couldn't ever live through a week in her shoes, let alone ever measure out to half of what she is. How dare you do that to your kids? they loved her and you keep them from her cause your immature and can’t handle the fact it’s not your way so you make them suffer and try to make it seem like she’s fucked off for leaving them when you couldn’t honestly expect her to live with you forever..hahah good joke she’d beat your ass after another couple months if she would have to stay longer. She has stage 4 cancer and it is slowly spread to other places... she lost all of her hair twice, she has a port that they inject chemo into her entire body thats in her chest and goes up to her neck... She lived in a tiny house with no warm bathroom while undergoing some of the most painful parts of her treatment with a smile on her face.. It took me a lot to get her to move in with me and stay with me and Grayson cause she’s so stubborn and didn’t want us to see her like that. Thats when she needed her kids most... Did you even give a fuck that the women who gave you life was going through that? probably not. how someone like you ever came from her makes me wonder how? I never understood a lot of things either when I was ten years old, and I broke a promise to myself, and to you that I'd never do drugs, but you know what it taught me more then you will ever learn in your entire life... I don't care how many books, websites, doctors, or tv shows you hear or see, you will never know what being an addict is like... once I became an addict I understood so much more about the things that lead up to everything that we thought that we knew about us getting taken.. by any means I'm not excusing any of it but you know what people make mistakes, and thats okay, because we are only human. and let me tell you how much my kids love her, and she's an amazing grandma... at least I know when she's not here anymore I never turned her away, and let my kids know their REAL BLOOD FAMILY. but I'm here to talk about me enough about my mom. when I lost both of my parents to prison, why weren't you there for me? why didn’t you ever love me? you just gave up on me so easy... I could never do that to you... I had to teach my self everything I know, from how to do my make up to how to pick out bras, to my first heartbreak, to my first pregnancy... you never were there for any of it.... I used to cry myself to sleep feeling so abandoned by you and even mom sometimes.... I had to get on anti depressants because my grandma Nicky was scared I was gonna kill myself.. why do you feel the need to ruin my life and try and make people think im a monster? please tell me one thing I've ever done wrong to you? to my niece and nephews that don’t even know me, to my baby sisters that I didn’t see for 17 years that you’ve turned against me... I didn’t have to tell them about you, that you were alive, I coulda said you were fucking dead like you have been preteneding I am to you for about 10 years now.... but I couldn't EVER DO THAT TO YOU OR THEM. but I'm sure that you could have done it to me, in a heartbeat and used some weak ass justification like “ your protecting them from the heart break you had to deal with”.. you don’t even have a heart so I know for facts you don’t know the half of what a fucking broken heart feels like. here I am almost 30 years and still crying over my “big sister” not loving me cause it still fucks me up worse then any pain you’ve ever known... you make me sick to my stomach I hate you for not being there for me, for not loving me.

[levi-my-beloved]

Birds of a Feather

Chapter 4

Parings: Canon!Levi x F!Reader

Content Warnings: Violence, torture, this one gets a little spicy y’all, descriptions of sexual acts, hints of abuse (please let me know if i’ve missed any)

Word Count: 14.8K

Summary: You were the most notorious criminal in The Underground City. With your organisation of highly skilled professionals, only one man could take you down. He also happened be be Humanity’s Strongest... and your ex.

Previous Chapter

First Chapter

A/N: well, you guys wanted it all in one post! this is by far the longest chapter, yet, and possibly the longest chapter in the entire fic maybe? i’ve caught myself up now with the progress of writing, since i’ve only completed one part of the next chapter so chapter 5 won’t be out within the next three days like these last four have been. i’m thinking i’ll need maybe a week? not sure, but the next part has a little flashback section which i hope you’ll all enjoy!

god these a/n’s are really long aren’t they? asdfghjkl sorry i’ll make the cut off now. hope you enjoy!!!

𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔

Whether it had been thirty minutes or thirty years, you couldn’t tell. Struggling to stay conscious as the four soldiers brought your limp body back to your cell. Your legs no longer work, gathering dust as they drag across the ground. Your abdomen and back were on fire. You were convinced. They had simply thrown you into hell to cook for a bit before dragging you back out. There was no other explanation. Other than the countless, seemingly endless beatings you had just taken. Whether your legs were tired or if your spine was broken, you couldn’t tell as they tossed you back behind bars, removing the rope around your wrists. You didn’t have the strength to fight back. Didn’t have the strength to even raise your head as they left.

Broken, split ribs sent agonising jolts of pain as you shifted in a lame attempt to curl up into a ball. You hadn’t cracked like they’d wanted you to. You hadn’t screamed, cried, begged them to stop. And you wouldn’t. When they came back for you, you would hold your tongue once again. You had never broken in the past. Whether you’d been compromised during an assault on a rival gang, or whether it was one of your mentor’s training exercises to get you used to torture. You had never broken.

You weren’t about to start now.

Still, the throbbing in your body prevented you from sleeping. You didn’t know what time it was. Time had escaped you during that ordeal. You didn’t even know what time of day it was, pretty sure it was night when they had come for you.

Fuck, your body ached. But you knew comfort was a long way from here. It always seemed so far away from where you were. Did you ever have comfort?

You lay there for god knows how long, seconds turning to minutes, minutes to hours. Hours could have turned to days for all you knew.

When the now familiar echo of footsteps reached your ears, you didn’t move. You didn’t care. Whoever it was could rot in hell for all you cared. Wishing death upon these fucking soldiers was the only thing keeping you from giving up right now.

“The bed not good enough or something?” Levi. Shit. The one person you didn’t want to see you like this.

You didn’t answer, choosing instead to try and count as many marks on the wall as you could. It helped to keep your focus off the dull throbbing coursing through your body.

“Oi, ‘you seriously still asleep? It's almost midday,” the singing of metal caused you to wince slightly as he rapped on the bars in an attempt to wake you from a sleep you weren’t in.

“Get the fuck u—” You had a vague idea what caused him to stop his impending barrage of insults you knew were about to flutter effortlessly from his mouth, and you couldn’t tell if you were thankful or not. On the upside, you didn’t have to hear whatever colourful language he was about to spew. On the downside…

“What happened to you…?” it was the second time he’d asked that question, but from the tone of his voice, you could tell this was less a passing thought and more of a question prompted by horror.

Levi froze. His breath caught in his throat. He had expected you to be awake by now. To be up, with that crooked, cocky smile on your face. In fact, he’d half expected you to be leaning against the wall, the door flung wide open as you twirled the keychain around your finger, simply begging him to ask you how you’d done it.

The last thing he expected to see was you, on the floor, curled into a ball. The shirt on your lower back riding up enough for him to see violent, deep purple bruises, blood steadily streaming from your spine and lower back.

Still you refused to answer, or even move. Filthy fucking soldiers, you fucking hated every last one of them. How fucking dare they? How dare they string you up like a piece of drying meat. They had no idea what you’d been through. What you’d had to do to survive. How dare they assume.

And yet,

And yet there was still that little voice in your head. That little kernel of doubt, convincing you that you deserved this. You had killed so many. So much blood was on your hands.

You deserved this.

You didn’t even notice Levi had entered your cell until a hand rested upon your shoulder.

“(Y/N)—”

“Don’t fucking touch me,” your reaction was instant. Instinctual. Immediately wrenching out of his hand, throwing yourself forward. A yelp escaped your mouth without your permission, fire igniting in your body as you moved so suddenly. It caused you to falter in your movements, landing harshly on your side. “Shit!” your voice broke as you yelped, agony flaring in your entire midsection, hand flying to clutch your side as you backed up against the wall. “Don’t fucking touch me,” there was no conviction in your voice. It was more of a plea than anything. If you had raised your head to look at him, maybe you would have laughed at his expression of twisted shock.

But instead you let your hair fall in front of your face, masking your own expression. Teeth grit in silent pain, eyes screwed shut.

Levi’s worry turned to outright unsettling fear. Over the last two days, he’s witnessed you more broken than he’s ever seen you before. He remembered sitting up with you after you’d woken from one of your nightmares. The two of you sitting on the floor against the wall, sharing a cup of tea to not waste resources. He’d seen you angry. He’d seen you upset. But he’d never seen you shattered.

“(Y/N)...” you’d forgotten how soft his usual bored voice could sound. Even after yesterday, you hadn’t heard that tone from him in years. It was borderline unnatural.

It prompted you to raise your head ever so slightly, glaring at him through thick, matted (H/C) strands. You refused to let your guard down, even though the sight of him squatting before you, eyebrows gently creased with suppressed worry almost made you relax. But you weren’t about to be taken away and tortured again.

Any scrap of trust that may have manifested yesterday during the carriage ride and your conversation had been crushed.

“Get away from me,” you looked feral, bearing your teeth animalistically as you snarled. Though it didn’t seem to deter him. He knew a dog only bared its teeth when it was wounded, fearing to be hurt further.

Levi sighed through his nose as he stood. You flinched at his movement and watched as he made more of a conscious effort not to startle you. Your eyes squinted in suspicious confusion as he took a small cloth from his pocket and started running it under the tap.

It seemed the faucet did work. Good to know.

Returning to squat in front of you, his eyes flickered from your face to your abdomen.

“Show me,” he instructed gently, and you almost obeyed him. Almost.

“Go fuck yourself,” you spat instead, bringing your knees closer to your aching body. If you hadn’t been trained to withstand pain, you would have cried out as your abdomen begged you to stop constricting your muscles.

“I’m trying to help,” your ears caught the slight irritation in his tone, but you didn’t care. He could kick you for all you care.

Actually, you really didn’t want him to do that.

“I don’t want your help,”

“You need it.”

“Burn in hell, Levi,” it was the first time you’d actually used his name since you said it back when they first apprehended you, and Levi couldn’t deny that it cut deep. A sentiment he masked with a frustrated exhale. Clearly he’d expected resistance. Either that or he was just as tenacious as he used to be.

“Well, I'm definitely not going up,” he responded, that same softness in his tone and despite your situation, you couldn’t help the slight huff of amusement. It seemed to put him at ease too, content you weren’t about to lunge for his throat.

Slowly, you uncurled from your position, visibly wincing as your torn, beaten muscles relaxed. Levi took this as permission to inch closer and you felt a small appreciation for his trepidation.

Still, you couldn’t help but flinch every time he moved too fast. A simple reflex stemming from your training. It wasn’t really something you thought about, but it prompted the raven haired man to freeze every time you moved.

You refused to meet his eyes as he gently lifted the fabric of your shirt, hearing his breath hitch slightly.

“Holy shit…” He breathed. You hadn’t seen how bad your body was damaged, but judging by his reaction;

It sure as hell wasn’t good.

Levi felt he could kill someone. Actually, a lot of someones. Shit, when he finds out who was responsible for this he would make sure they wished they were never born. The same rage he felt when seeing you flinch for the first time once again coursed through his veins, and this time, he didn’t think he could just let it simmer.

“Who did this to you?” you blinked, his question caught you off guard. Didn’t he know? How didn’t he know? Surely every soldier in the damn military would revel in the idea of you being tortured all night. You clenched your jaw, refusing to respond. You didn’t know why you were being so stubborn. Maybe it was the sheer principle of not wanting to show any sort of weakness in front of him.

In fact, now you thought about it, it was definitely that. Whether Levi sensed it or not, he chose not to press you for an answer. Perhaps he did already know.

You hissed as the cold, damp cloth gently soothed your inflamed skin, glancing back to his face. You hated the way his focussed expression calmed your heart. Loathed how that crease in his eyebrows eased your whirling thoughts. Despised how, from this angle, you could see just how annoyingly attractive he had become.

“Can you move?” he asked, silver eyes rising up to meet your own. The low torchlight highlighted the heus of deep blue you knew he had hidden away. You pretended you looked away because you couldn’t stand the sight of his face, rather than the reality.

You were far too tempted to lean up and capture his lips.

“Yes,” Levi couldn’t tell if you were lying, shifting slightly to help you move but stopping immediately when you flinched away.

“Lie on the bed,” for the first time in ten years, you were compelled to follow an order. You weren’t even obedient towards Viper most of the time. But nonetheless, you found yourself struggling to your feet, an arm braced on the wall behind you.

Clearly respecting your independence, Levi took a step back, allowing you to find your own way. If you weren’t slightly delirious from the pain, you would have missed a kernel of respect flashing in his expression, before he swiftly turned away, washing the cloth again as you collapsed onto the so-called ‘mattress’ with a hiss.

Levi rung the small cloth out onto the floor, focussing on the way the droplets collided with the stone, rather than the way every movement you made caused you obvious pain. Once again, every fibre of his being was screaming at him to cradle you in his arms and whisper soft nothings into your ear. He wanted you to fall asleep next to him, your face buried in the crook of his neck. He craved to feel your soft hair through his fingertips, gently coercing you into dreams. It hurt so much that he could see you, but he couldn’t have you.

Turning to face away from him, you once again shrivelled into a ball. You didn’t want this. You didn’t want any of this. You just wanted to be left alone. But the dip in the bed behind you told you that wasn’t an option right now, muscles tensing on instinct.

he didn’t ask for permission this time as gentle fingers gripped your shirt, dragging up to reveal your brutalised back. If you could see his expression, you might have even been afraid. Darkness shrouded his face, teeth grit in utter hatred. A muscle in his jaw twitching from the effort of clamping his mouth so tightly.

His first touch felt like you’d been shocked by the static that built up on the bed clothes. The damp cool gliding across the welts and bruises across your back. Balling your hands into fists, you refused to make any sound. Still having the mindset of not wanting to give anyone the satisfaction of hearing you in pain. It was a mindset you didn’t think would leave you for a while.

Levi worked in silence, allowing you to settle and almost relax after a while. You wanted to trust him, but you didn’t. Not really. However, right now, you trusted him not to hurt you further. Simply content to relish in the way he soothed the pain. It didn’t come naturally. Every time he pressed too hard it took all your strength not to lunge for his throat, but he would stop upon hearing your sharp intake of breath, waiting for you to settle before continuing.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, you finally broke it with a question that had been budding in your mind.

“Why are you doing this?” your voice came out a rasped whisper, almost as if you hadn’t used your vocal chords for weeks. You were sure he wasn’t going to answer, opting instead to simply continue to clean your bruises. Another blanket of quiet had settled over the two of you before he responded.

“I don’t know,” he lied. Levi wasn’t sure why he lied. Honestly, he thought it was obvious enough. He still cared about you. So fucking much. It burned him to see you in so much pain. He’d never felt the mind numbing fury he felt when he saw what they’d done to you.

You weren’t really happy with the answer. If anything, it simply gave you more questions. But you were too tired to press for more. Almost too tired to notice when he’d stopped. Pulling your grimy shirt back down to your waist, you felt the mattress rise as he stood. You didn’t turn. You couldn’t turn. After the night you’d had, the exhaustion from the last 24 hours finally catching up on you.

Noticing how you were almost already asleep, Levi decided to throw caution to the wind.

You felt a soft caress through your dirt ridden hair, the action sending a pleasant buzz through your system. It was an action so familiar to the both of you, you wondered why you kept flinching away from his touch when all it did was gently drain you of energy.

“Sleep.”

You didn’t have time to contemplate his tone before the comforting nothingness claimed you.

꧁ꨄ꧂

Levi hadn’t been this angry in a long, long time. Sure, he’d been annoyed. When a solider made a stupid mistake or when a cadet didn’t know how to clean properly. But he hadn’t been this furious in years.

Maybe since the deaths of Isobel and Farlan.

It was obvious when Levi was in a bad mood. Sweeping through the headquarters like a storm. Cadets could almost feel his presence before they saw him, swiftly making themselves busy as he paid no attention to any of them. He had one goal in mind. One destination. And he didn’t even knock when he got there.

“Out. Now.” it wasn’t an order to disobey. When he opened the door to Erwin’s office, revealing a small meeting, Levi didn’t think twice to dismiss them, even if they were his superiors.

“Levi, what’s—”

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll all leave the room for the next half an hour. Maybe longer depending on how this conversation goes,” his swirling eyes met Erwin’s and he swore he could detect the slightest fear in the man’s gaze.

Good.

He should be afraid.

Without so much as a mutter of goodbyes, the squad leaders and section commanders all dispersed, leaving the Captain alone with the Commander.

Erwin was the first to break the heavy silence.

“I’m assuming this is about Raven?” his voice didn’t waver, seeming to have regained his composure from the initial shock. But Levi wasn’t here for a dainty conversation. The unbridled rage pulsing through his bloodstream clouded his vision, almost seeing red.

“Did you know?”

“Levi—”

“Did. You. Know?” Levi hardly ever raised his voice. Usually it was only out in the field or on a mission, and that was only because it was easier to communicate that way. Keeping his bored, flat tones when slicing open the nape of a titan didn’t seem possible.

Erwin pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a deep, defeated sigh.

“Yes. I knew. But Levi, you have to understand—”

“I don’t have to understand jackshit. Don’t you think she’s been through enough? She’s led a life being treated like an animal and now you’re allowing her to be beaten like one?”

“It’s necessary, Levi.”

“It’s barbaric!” Erwin had never heard such venom in his voice. Not even when he vowed to kill him all those years ago. He’d seen Levi’s rage. Witnessed it from afar. The way he tore through flesh like it was paper.

Never did he think he would be on the receiving end. Leaning forward, the blonde folded his arms against the desk, clearly conflicted.

“I know this is a difficult subject for you. You two grew up in the same environment, it would only be natural for you to care for her,” the conniving bastard. Levi borderline snarled at the statement. He did care for you. Deeply. But Erwin didn’t need to know that.

“But please listen. As I mentioned before, ties between the Military Police and the Survey Corps are taut. Any discord between us would cause them to snap. I already tightened them further by not allowing them to execute her publicly. I thought if she joined the Scouts instead, not only would we gain an asset, but she would also be able to survive. That didn’t sit well with Niles. He wants her to pay for what she’s done. If not by death, then by various other methods. This was the only way to keep both parties happy, Levi. Trust me,” Levi was starting to lose what trust he had in the man.

Whilst yes, his explanation made sense, it still didn’t sweeten the blow. How long would this go on for? Would they take you everyday, or just some days? How badly would they hurt you?

As if able to read his mind through his knife-like glare, Erwin continued.

“It’s only for this week. Whilst she’s in her cell. They don’t have permission to permanently damage her, only—”

“Only break her ribs and crack her sternum. Yeah, I saw,” he responded bitterly, folding his arms as he leant against the door. Fuck this. Fuck him. Fuck them.

Levi had never been so conflicted. Whilst the sight of you, beaten and broken, had shattered him, he also knew it was for your own good. It was this, or death.

He didn’t like the second option much.

But the memory of what they had done had burned into his skull. Running his fingers down your prominent, bruised spine. So fragile, but so goddamn strong. Muscles spread disproportionately about your abdomen and shoulders. Your stomach was concave for fuck sakes. And they were still beating the shit out of you.

It made him wonder. If he wasn’t so lucky…

Would he have received the same treatment?

Would he have been thrown in a cell and tortured for a week?

He doubted it.

Erwin waited for Levi to gather his thoughts. Waited for him to say whatever he was going to say next. He had expected Levi to find out. Had expected the man to have some sort of reaction, but nothing quite to this extent. Maybe there really was something deeper between you and him that Levi was keeping to himself.

“So this will continue for a whole damn week?” Levi asked, almost exasperated, running a hand through his obsidian locks. This was a nightmare. All of it. Nobody deserves this treatment. Not even Kenny, but especially not you.

It was Erwin’s slow nod that had his stomach dropping.

“Yes,” he replied quietly. “This will continue for the whole week.”

That was all Levi needed to hear. Whether it was right or wrong, he was powerless to stop it. Turning on his heel and heading back down the halls to his office, he tried to push the images of your broken body and spirit from his mind. Maybe he was hoping you were the same bright eyed, mischievous woman you were before he lost you ten years ago. How had so much changed since then?

How much had you changed so much since then?

He no longer saw that spark of life in your eyes. No longer able to bask in your genuine smile.

If he hadn’t seen so many young, hopeful souls shattered by the paralysing fear of facing a titan, or the desperate heartache of losing a loved one, he’d be surprised.

But he wasn’t. Not at all. Who knows what you have had to do to survive? Who knows just how much of yourself you’d had to sacrifice to get where you are now. But he wouldn’t accept that you were gone.

He would never accept that.

But from the looks of you, only a small fragment of your true self remained. Levi thought he was over being hurt by the changes in people he somewhat cared about.

Maybe he was wrong.

꧁ꨄ꧂

The week was gruelling. Taken from your cell at night and being subjected to both physical and mental torture was one of the toughest things you’ve faced. It was brutal, having to fortify both your mind and body nightly against the blows from the MPs. Sometimes it would change. Sometimes the original four switched out. Sometimes they had an observer. But every time was horrific.

You were sure you’d be dead by now if Levi didn’t visit daily to soothe your broken and cracked bones. If he didn’t ask his monotonous questions, all of which you either responded to with something sarcastic, or silence.

Very few times you actually gave a real answer.

Unlike this time.

“How did you get that scar?” It was always the question he started with. Always wanting to know what happened to you during the time he was away, and that scar down your right eye.

“Don’t you ever get tired of asking that question?” you huffed, tucking your elbows beneath your head.

“Don’t you ever get tired of not answering it?” since you’d seen him everyday since you arrived, you were beginning to relearn all the tells you knew he had, but had changed over time. For example, this smallest lilt in his voice when he found something amusing. He waited for your body to stop twitching as you laughed silently, before resuming the treatment of the damp cloth.

“Not really, it’s fun listening to you get more and more frustrated.”

“As charming as ever, Raven.”

You didn’t know how you felt about him using your alias rather than your name. You knew you’d asked him to, or rather, harshly told him to, but he’d used your actual name a few times since then. But you didn’t want to ask, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable.

You let the quiet blanket the two of you, debating whether or not to answer. You’d refused him everyday, but as more time passed, the more you remembered just how much you’d loved him.

“There was a rival gang in the neighbourhood next to ours. Always fighting us for territory or supplies. Honestly, I wanted them wiped out, but Prongs insisted that would make us far too many powerful enemies,” Levi had paused as you started the exposition, genuinely surprised you’d actually decided to give him a full answer, rather that the usual “I entered a sword headbutting contest” or something equally as ridiculous.

“We were at each other’s throats for years, never really landing a solid hit on the other’s gang, until the bastard managed to take one of my Shadows, Diablo, alive. I owed those people everything. They took me in when you—” you managed to stop yourself, but not fast enough for Levi to avoid feeling the gut punching guilt he felt whenever you accidentally mentioned him leaving. You really didn’t mean to, you were just used to talking more openly about it.

“Uh, sorry. Yeah, they took me in, so I owed them a lot. Plus, I’d known them for years by now. I trusted them and they trusted me. I wasn’t about to abandon her,” Levi could hear your conviction and resolve in the cadence of your voice, and silently wondered when you’d become so strong. He’d almost forgotten he was supposed to be treating you badly damaged back, until you hissed slightly. Looking down, he realised he’d pressed a little too hard with the cloth against your tender skin.

“Shit, sorry.”

“‘S’fine. Just concentrate, yeah?” despite your condition, you still had it in you to crack cocky jokes. Levi had half the mind to swat the back of your head with his cloth, but he decided to be merciful.

You left it a beat before you continued.

“Anyway, I didn’t have a choice. But it turns out, all the creepy bastard wanted to do was to make sure everyone knew I wasn’t untouchable. Then maybe we’d stop having smaller gangs ally with us. I let him scar my face, and in return he gave us Diablo back, completely unharmed. It was really fucking weird now that I think about it,” Levi pondered this for a moment, before another question popped into his head.

“What happened to him?”

“Who?”

“The creepy guy, idiot.”

“Call me an idiot again, I fucking dare you.”

“What will you do? You can hardly stand.”

“I don’t need to stand to beat your sorry ass.”

Shit, he’d missed this. This playful banter between the two of you. He’d missed it so goddamn much.

“He found one of my blades stuck in his throat pretty soon after,” Levi grunted in approval, a small smile bloomed across his face at the thought.

Good.

Creepy son-of-a-bitch.

The two of you continued in a comfortable silence for a short while, before your slightly mischievous voice cut through it again.

“Okay, my turn,” you sounded far too nonchalant for his liking, Levi narrowing his gaze to the back of your head.

“Your turn?”

“You’ve been asking me questions for the last few days, and I haven’t asked you one once,” if Levi didn’t know better, he’d say you were almost pouting. He was tempted to turn your head to check, but it seemed you still weren’t entirely comfortable with the whole being touched thing.

He hadn’t asked you about that yet.

“Alright, alright. One question.”

“How come you get countless and I only get one?”

“Call it a Captain’s privilege,”

“Pffft, Captain my ass,”

“Just ask your stupid question.”

You laughed at his feigned frustrated tone, knowing he was loving this as much as you were. You allowed yourself to think about how you wanted to phrase this.

“Are they still here with you? Farlan and Isobel?” you had been slightly hesitant to ask this, since he hadn’t mentioned them once. You didn’t know them personally, only seeing them fleetingly when Levi would usher you into his room, or having sparing conversation with them when Viper sold them that ODM. And judging by his pained silence, you now feared his answer.

“Yes and no,” your question had definitely caught him off guard. He didn’t even think you remembered them, so for you to ask after them was a little out of the blue. Hence why he opted to mimic your response from a few days ago.

You had clearly caught on.

“The hell does that mean?”

Levi realised he probably couldn’t tend to your back and tell this story at the same time. He was going to need all his strength to suppress the torrent of emotions he knew he was about to unlock. Sensing his change of tone, you slowly shifted so you were sitting next to him, making sure you didn’t move too quickly or awkwardly so as to not irritate your painful back.

You searched his features in the silence, partially hidden by the bangs you used to love running your hands through. You couldn’t help but wonder whether or not they were as soft as they used to be.

“It was my fault,” he admitted quietly. You hated seeing Levi like this. You’d only seen him like this once before, when Kenny abandoned him. You vowed you would never let him feel like this again as long as you were by his side.

This is what happens when you’re separated.

“What was your fault?” you gently prompted, not wanting to push him, but rather wanting to let him know that you were willing to listen.

“It was our first expedition. I was naive, agreeing to let them come with us, rather than the original plan which was for me to go alone. Raven, the reason I— the reason we left, was because we were recruited for a job, and killing Erwin Smith was part of that. But none of us knew what to expect beyond the walls. We’d trained but, we didn’t know what to expect when facing an actual titan,” you didn’t press further when he took pauses or longer breaths. You were happy he was comfortable enough with you now to even tell you this. “Everything was going smoothly. Too smoothly, and it wasn’t long before it all went to shit. I lost sight of them when the storm hit, losing them in the fog. I was completely powerless to stop an Abnormal. Shit, I didn’t even know it had passed me. I just saw bodies and limbs everywhere and knew I had to turn back. By the time I got there, it was too late. They were both gone,” Levi’s fist clenched into a ball, taking his focus away from the pain in his chest to the one in his palm. He didn’t even realise his eyes were closed until he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He stiffened under your touch, not quite able to believe how far the two of you had come in such a short amount of time.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, Levi,” he didn’t really understand what you were apologising for, or why you felt the need. Afterall, it was him who left you.

“I vowed after that day I wouldn’t have any regrets. Some jackass said that if I did, their deaths wouldn’t mean anything. But I knew I would always have one. I knew I would always regret leaving you behind,” Levi looked to you through his bangs, an expression of guilt etched into his hardened face. You forgave him at that moment. You forgave him for everything.

“I’m here now, aren’t I? And whilst I may not be the same girl you left behind, I still have her memories,” your hand slid from its position on his shoulder to rest over his heart, feeling it flutter within his sturdy ribcage.

Levi faintly wondered if he was dreaming. If you could feel his heart rate increase with every touch.

“That’s why you said yes and no, isn’t it? Because they’re not physically here, but they are here,” Levi could do nothing but nod, his eyes trained on your face like a hawk. He wanted permission. Begged for it through his dark, swirling eyes. Screamed for it in the way his eyes flickered to your lips, your face so close he could smell that scent of freshly baked bread you’d always carried with you, even beneath all the filth. A few centimetres further and you would have what you’d wanted for ten long years. What you both have wanted.

“You sound ridiculous,”

“Your fault,” he could feel the flutter of your breath against his face, wishing nothing more than for you to close the distance.

Levi slowly brought his hand from his lap, his palm rising to cup your cheek.

It didn’t even get close before you flinched, eyes darting to his raised hand.

And just like that, all the tension dissolved. As if you hadn’t been busy getting lost within the storm that were his irises. Levi pulled back, as if he himself had been struck.

“I’m sorry… I wasn’t thinking,” he rose from his position next to you, wanting nothing more than for the ground to swallow him whole.

How could he be so damn selfish? It was obvious you couldn’t do anything like that right now. Maybe not ever. And he was getting way ahead of himself. You had already said the girl who loved him was dead, he couldn’t even think how or why he would assume just because your body was present, your mind was as well. Just because he was willing, why would you be willing as well?

Except you were.

So. Fucking. Willing.

And you cursed yourself for these instinctive reactions. Every sudden movement had your mind flashing back to training. Back to Viper’s brutal learning methods. It wasn’t even that much longer after Levi left you were made the Raven. After Viper’s death, it was almost instantaneous. But that didn’t stop those seven months of brutal punishments to leave a permanent scar on your psyche. You wished you could find your voice to reassure him that you’d get over this.

But you couldn’t.

And Levi was once again the first to speak.

“I should go. I’ll see you tomorrow Raven—”

“(Y/N),” you corrected him. After countless times of him calling you by your alias, you didn’t think you could stand it anymore. Levi raised his brow, seemingly a little confused by your interruption. “I’m not The Raven anymore. Technically that title belongs to Prongs now. So it’s just (Y/N),” despite the awkwardness of your recent encounter, you still felt that familiar warmth blossom in your chest at his softened smile, and quietly wonder if anyone else ever saw him smile this much.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, (Y/N),” you returned his expression, before lying back down on your side. This was your last night in your cell, before you’d be free to join the Scouts. You silently scoffed at the irony of that statement, but nothing could quell your small candle of hope as you listened to Levi’s footsteps get quieter and quieter. Maybe things weren’t so shit up here after all.

꧁ꨄ꧂

“You know, Raven, I’m going to miss our little nighttime meetings,” another harsh blow to your stomach sent you reeling, eyes screwed shut in both pain and defiance. They were trying everything they could to break you tonight. Blood running freely down your abdomen. Fresh bruises now blossoming over the wilted petals of previous nights.

Still you refused to break. Solid walls of spite had erected around your mind, and they wouldn’t be cracked or broken. Not by anything. So you took it. You took your punishment, only opening your mouth to hurl obscene insults or vile curses in their direction. Mocking the way they struck, laughing at their lack of strength. It only resulted in harsher blows, but it was worth seeing the frustration on their faces when you didn’t scream in agony.

“You know who you remind me of like this? I only made the connection a few nights ago. Strung up and beaten like your good-for-nothing father,”

That struck a chord in you. Your eyes flew open, staring at the ground in horror. This is what had happened to him? They had taken him and beaten him? Was he still alive? Was he here somewhere?

The man, who you’d dubbed Dirt, answered all your questions with his next jab.

“A shame he only lasted a few days. You on the other hand… you’re much more fun to play with,” a feral grin sliced through his face as he circled you, drawing back to land three excrutiating blows against your lower back. You grit your teeth, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes. You didn’t think you had a heart to shatter. You didn’t think any of it remained for it to be broken again.

The MPs had taken two father figures from you.

That grin still adorned Dirt’s face as he went to swing the metal bat again, only to be interrupted by the door behind you opening. Dirt’s eyes narrowed, before whoever it was seemed to please him. God you couldn’t wait for the day where you tore that venomous smile right off his fucking face.

“Captain Ackerman. To what do we owe the pleasure?” you froze. What the hell was he doing here? Why did he always have to arrive during the moments where you really didn’t want him to see you.

But you weren’t expecting to feel a kernel of hope as he spoke.

You weren’t expecting the small smile that etched into your sweat slickened face.

“I was sent to observe. Since she’ll be joining the Survey Corps, I’m here to ensure you don’t break her,” Levi sounded as bored as ever, and you almost huffed a laugh.

Dirt scoffed, in irritation that he wouldn’t get to sever your spine with brute force.

“Very well. However, I must ask you to stand back. She swings like a stallion’s cock sometimes,” If it weren’t directed at you, you would have laughed at the comment. In any other situation, it would have been rather funny.

Just not this one.

Levi had never felt so sick. As soon as he walked in, seeing you strung up like that, helplessly, he had to force down the instinct to rip every one of these torturous bastards to ribbons. He’d never had to have such a tight hold on his emotions in his life, because if that hold slipped…

This would become a blood bath.

“Anyway Raven, where were we?” he asked, though the question was rhetorical. You knew he remembered. He was just trying to provoke a response out of you. But knowing Levi was here gave you a strength you weren’t expecting.

Looking up through your hair, you shot a glare through the thick, matted strands.

“Choke on your own blood, fuckface,” you spat, kicking weakly towards him. It wasn’t the show of defiance you’d wanted, but it seemed to get the message across. You were prepared for whatever consequences there would be for such a demonstration.

The repercussions came immediately. Roughly digging his fingers into your chin, Dirt forced you head up to look at him, his face a picture of mock amusement.

Levi’s jaw clenched.

“Come now Raven. Not trying to impress Captain Levi now, are you?” your eyes flickered over to Levi, his expression unreadable, grey hues trained on the two of you. A rumble of laughter echoed around the chamber as Dirt took in your spiteful expression. “Now I’m left wondering, how somebody like you could come from somebody like your pathetic father. How somebody so defiant, so fucking strong,” —he harshly jabbed at your stomach with the hilt of his bat— “Could be the daughter of somebody so weak,”

“Shut the fuck up,” you rasp, hot fury surging through your veins. How fucking dare he? How dare he insult your father this way. He was a good man. An honest man. He did nothing wrong. Nothing to warrant his or your mother’s death.

“Hm. No, I think I’ll keep talking. This might finally break you.”

“I’ll fucking KILL YOU,” the hook keeping your arms above your head creaked as you thrashed, trying to free yourself to wrap your hands around his goddamn throat.

“You should have heard his cries. His pathetic whimpers as we carved into his flesh. They were… amusing.” No. This wouldn’t be your downfall. You refused. This wasn’t it. You would not be broken by this.

“At least tell me what he died for. At least tell me why you took him, you shit-eating pig!” you spat viciously, trying once again to get free. It was infuriating more than anything. You had so many questions, never knowing why your parents had been killed. Why you came back to your house in disarray, crimson staining the floorboards as your mother’s blood drained from the gash in her throat. Your father, nowhere to be found.

Though he managed to keep his expression neutral, Levi thought back to your father. For the short time he knew him, he was a kind man. He did what he could for the people around him, always feeding those who looked starving. He was convinced that was where you got your compassion from. Why the hell would they take him and torture him?

“Why? He didn’t tell you? Interesting. Your father knew the location of The Nest long before you became our problem. You thought it was a coincidence Viper just happened to take you in? Please, this job was enjoyable enough, don’t make me laugh with your naivety as well,”

“You’re lying. My father was a baker. He was a good man. He wasn’t involved in our criminal shit!”

“Have you noticed a pattern in your life, Raven? Have you noticed how we tried everything to prevent you from falling down this path?” your jaw flickered at Dirt’s tone, mocking you as if they had done you a service.

“We thought your father would introduce you to a life of crime, so we got rid of him for you. When you fell into the care of Viper; well, we got rid of him for you as well,” his smile was snake-like as flashes from that night plagued your mind. Pressed up against the wall as your mentor was savagely dealt with. Begging at them. Screaming at them to stop. To let him go. Only for them to raise a rifle to his head, and paint the wall with his blood.

Dirt imitated a gun with his fingers, putting them up to your forehead.

“Bang.”

Slowly, you stopped thrashing, though the hatred in your veins didn’t cool. You simmered silently, raising your eyes once again. No tears. No sorrow. Nothing but feigned indifference flickered in the low light.

Dirt looked at you for a moment, eyebrows creasing in irritation as he stepped back, twirling the bad in his hands before repeatedly cracking it against your empty stomach. Levi only just managed to control his breathing as he watched helplessly, flinching subtly as every blow connected with your too-skinny body. Clearly Dirt was taking out some intense frustration. He’d just managed to compose himself when the bastard’s eyes turned to him. That fucking smile poisoned his features as he extended the handle of the weapon.

“Captain Levi. She killed a few of your men, did she not? Why don’t you see if you can break the whore?” You almost scoffed in amusement. Levi wouldn’t do that. Not to you. Not after everything the two of you had been through.

You’d finally found each other again.

You were so sure.

You were so sure of yourself.

You were so sure of him.

You’d rekindled that trust over the last week.

You’d rekindled something you thought was dead.

You were so sure.

Until he took the handle.

And the white hot knife of betrayal twisted into your gut once again.

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

What the hell was he supposed to do?

Shit.

The weight of the bat felt ten times heavier than anything he’s ever held in his life. The weight of what he was about to do.

Fuck.

As excruciating as this was to watch, he knew it was ten times worse for you. He knew every blow, every crack, was undoing hours of hard work soothing your aches and bruises. Each thud against your body sent jolts of electricity through him. Nerve ends alight with adrenaline, heart beating as if he was about to fight every single one of these bastards just to get them away from you.

Still you have not broken. He couldn’t pinpoint the slight warmth in his chest, couldn’t comprehend what it was. Was he impressed? Surprised?

Proud…?

Levi wasn’t sure if the look of soul shattering betrayal in your eyes was worth it as his hands gripped the cool metal, slightly slickened with your blood.

He would explain it to you.

He would.

Once you were back in your cell, he would tell you why he did it.

But for now, his glare only darkened as he stepped forward. He couldn’t stand the expression on your face. Confused bewilderment, as if trying to work out what he was thinking.

Levi begged you to stop. Stop looking at him like that. Stop trying to work him out because not even he knew if this was the right thing to do.

It was almost a relief when your wide eyes clouded with heartbreaking realisation and acceptance.

A hiss escaped your lips at the first crack. Somehow, this felt more painful than anything those pitiful soldiers could do. Your eyes screwed shut, jaw clenched so hard you were afraid it would shatter into a million pieces.

Each blow felt so precise. So measured and controlled. It stung your heart more than anything else. You’d been betrayed. Again. For the second time in a week. Betrayed by the two people you’d ever loved. Scarlett, who’d picked you up when you were sure nobody else could. Who nursed your broken bones and your broken soul.

And by the first man who ever held your heart.

And truthfully, still did.

Was that all this last week had been?

A ploy just to fuck with you. To earn your trust only to immediately shatter you once again? To break your spirit? Granted, nobody knew the nature of your relationship between you and Levi, but that didn’t matter. The man you loved had just stabbed you in the back.

Again.

So much had happened in the last week. So much had been brought to the surface. It would take years to unpack it all, not that you had any intention of doing that. You just wanted it all gone. To bury it with your fathers. To never think about it again.

You were dragged from your thoughts by a shock of agony sparking up your spine, stemming from your lower back. It was Dirt’s favourite place to attack. Whenever he thought you were being too feisty, too aggressive. He would land as many blows to your lower back as he saw fit.

Admittedly, you doubted Levi knew you’d been snapping back spitefully all session before he arrived, but that didn’t quell the raging fire of hatred as your lips parted without your permission.

A broken cry of anguished agony wracked from your chest, chilling the air of the humid chamber.

Levi froze, horror flashing across his usually schooled features.

He’d broken you.

Levi had broken you.

And with it, any bond he’d managed to salvage over the last week. Any bridge he’d started to rebuild now came crashing down around him.

That one well placed crack had ripped away at your resolve, exposing the tired, hurt, beaten girl beneath.

The room seemed to have stilled. All falling into quiet awe at what had just happened. A slow clap split the stagnant air as Dirt walked up from where he was leaning against the wall. Levi was tempted to turn the bat on him, but he found himself unable to move.

“Your reputation precedes you, Captain. Striking her lower back like that after leaving it to simmer? Genius! We should have asked you to join us earlier,” Dirt cackled in delight as he produced a knife from his pocket. Reaching up, he easily sliced through the ropes binding your hands.

Stone rose up to greet your body as you fell uselessly to the ground, legs too weak to hold you.

“Oh dear. Are you dead? Maybe you and your father had more in common that I originally thought,”

“Enough.” Dirt’s jeering was interrupted by the no-bullshit tones of Levi, causing the soldier to whirl around. He’d finally managed to find his voice, once again reining himself in.

“But Captain Levi, Sir, she’s The Raven. Don’t you think she deserves some extra time with us tonight?”

“If you don’t leave now I’ll make sure it’s you who won’t be able to walk. Go,” you couldn’t tell if this was a blessing or a curse. If he was an angel or a demon.

Actually no, scratch that.

He was a demon, and this was a curse.

You couldn’t find it in yourself to move as you heard busy footsteps around you, assuming the four horsemen were gathering their effects.

“I do hope you make her crawl back to her cell, Captain. We all know your reputation for cleanliness. It would be a shame to dirty your hands touching this filthy whore,” Dirt drawled one more savage insult, before you heard his echoing steps get further and further away. You hoped the day would never come where you had to see his face again.

The silence in the room now was suffocating. You could both feel the emotions radiating off each other now the MPs were gone. He could feel your loathing, and you could feel his disgust. Or what you thought was disgust. What you assumed was disgust.

How could he not be disgusted? He must be. To do what he just did. You didn’t understand why he would come down everyday and help you if he felt such hatred towards you.

No, that’s a lie.

You did understand.

But that truth hurt so much more than anything else tonight.

It had sowed the seed of doubt in your mind. You knew you weren’t a good person. In fact, to most soldiers and nobles you were a devil. But you’d always clung onto the hope that everything you did was to help people. You stole medicine, you slit the throats of rapists, you provided weapons to those who didn’t have enough to fend for themselves.

There was a small part of you that truly believed you were doing good.

That small part had just been crushed, along with several bones.

Gathering what little strength you had, you extended a limp arm in front of you. Fuck it, you weren’t going to sleep here on a floor soiled by your own sweat, blood and saliva.

You would crawl if you had to.

“(Y/N)...” all he wanted to do was hold you. All he’d wanted to do since he’d found you again was hold you. He’d been so close yesterday, but he’d fucked that up.

Now he was sure you’d never willingly let him hold you again. The bat fell from his hand as if he’d realised it was covered in poison, heart clenching at the way you instinctively threw your arms above your head, terrified of some other attack.

You hated how his voice carried so much comfort. Hated how it soothed your raging mind. God you wanted nothing more than to rip his fucking tongue out and make sure he never spoke to you like that again.

A gentle hand landed on your shoulder, forcing you to stop.

“Get… get the fuck… off me… Get the fuck off me,” you couldn’t fight back as he tucked his arms under your legs and upper back, wincing as he lifted you into his grip. “Don’t… Don’t fucking touch me,” there was no strength left in you to push against him as he carried you back, but that didn’t stop you from weakly hitting the arms that held you.

You didn’t understand. One moment he was savagely beating you, and the next he was cradling you against his chest, holding you close as he took you to your cell.

Laying you down, he hoped you understood why he did what he did. It was a fool’s hope, he knew.

He realised you definitely didn’t understand when you started fighting back.

With a sudden surge of strength, you lunged for him. It was a weak attack, and you didn’t really know what you were trying to achieve as you threw yourself towards him with a cry of anguished rage, but you also didn’t care.

“I fucking trusted you,” you spat in between your flailing limbs. It really didn’t take long for Levi to pin your arms either side of your head, hovering over your body.

“(Y/N), stop,” He tightened his grip on your wrists as you struggled against his hold. It would have been a real test of strength for both of you had you not spent the last week having the life beaten out of you. You were weaker than you’d ever been, and he was taking advantage.

“I was right the first time. You don’t get to call me that. You don’t ever get to call me that. You sick, twisted BASTARD. So that was why you lied to me. That was why you didn’t tell me why you were helping me. You fucking coward, is that all you were doing? Convincing me I was safe with you? Tricking me into thinking you still actually cared about me you filthy fucking LIAR,” you barked a mirthless laugh, baring your teeth in a visceral snarl. “I swear to you Levi, I will not fucking stop until my knife is buried your goddamn THROAT!” you struggled again, twisting as much as you could beneath him, trying to free your arms, your hands, anything that could help you take him down.

He deserved this. He knew he did. Levi looked into the burning betrayal in your eyes and knew he deserved this. He would take every verbal blow you threw at him because he knew he deserved it. But he had to explain. He didn’t care. You could hurl whatever you wanted at him, but he wouldn’t leave until he had the chance to explain himself.

Then he would never see you again.

If that’s what you wanted.

“Just calm down, for a minute, please,” you hadn’t heard him beg like that in a very, very long time. Shit, you fucking hated what it did to you. In this position, your wrists held above your head, his arms caging you in, his legs either side of your hips...

The room suddenly felt far too warm.

“What could you possibly have to say to me? I fucking trusted you. You disgusting son-of-a-bitch. I can’t believe I actually thought—“

Levi finally lost his temper.

“What? You thought what? That just because we found each other again we’d play happy families? Grow the fuck up, Raven,” he spat your alias, finally releasing all the fury he’d pent up. He knew this was a mistake. None of this was your fault. He’d been angry with how you’d been treated. Utterly beside himself at Erwin.

And you were taking the fall for it.

“I didn’t lie to you, I didn’t have a fucking choice. If anyone saw me treat you any differently, they would start to question it. They would question why I was showing pity to a criminal. The Raven, no less. And I can’t—”

“Oh I’m sorry, I would hate to ruin your reputation, Captain,” you struck back with just as much venom. Just as much fury.

“Let me finish. I can’t let them get to you anymore than they already have. It was either them or—”

“Because I’m just so import—” you almost cried out as the grip on your wrists tightened, knowing they would leave yet another bruise on your body.

“Let. Me. Finish.” Levi narrowed his eyes, returning the glare you were holding on him and not continuing until you yielded, finally looking away and clamping your mouth shut. “It was either them or me. I could let them continue to beat the shit out of you mercilessly, or I could do it myself. I could try and make it better. I couldn’t fucking watch that shit anymore. I couldn’t fucking stand it. Those filthy bastards laying their dirty hands on you. Hurting you. Shit, you were half dead when I walked in. I was scared you were for a moment. Terrified they were just beating a corpse. But you’re so much stronger than I ever gave you credit for. They never fucking broke you. And they never will. Because if they touch you again, if they fucking look at you, I will go the the ends of the goddamn earth and tear them apart, because I care about you,” Levi hadn’t noticed he was panting. He hadn’t noticed the tears slipping down your cheeks. He didn’t think his self hatred could sink any deeper, but now he’d made you cry silent tears.

Loosening his grip on your wrists, he looked at you as though he’d been responsible for your murder.

“So, it was mercy? That’s what’s considered merciful up here?” you couldn’t really believe it. Twice in two days Levi had spoken more to you than you thought he ever did back when you belonged to each other. You didn’t think you’d ever sounded so small. So vulnerable. “Let me ask you this, Levi. Was it merciful on me, or merciful on you? Because you sure as hell didn’t make things better for me,” despite the quieter volume, your voice was still harsh.

But you had to know.

You wanted nothing more than to pull him in and thread your hands through his hair. To feel his body against yours. For his heartbeat to lull you to sleep. But you had to know whether he did this for you, or himself.

You understood now. You really did. And put in the same situation, you didn’t think you’d do any differently.

“Honestly…? Merciful to me. I couldn't bear it. I tried. I tried so fucking hard. But I couldn’t let them hurt you anymore,” his voice was no louder than a choked, guilt ridden whisper.

That’s all you needed to hear. Slipping your wrists free of his hands, you reached up. Cupping the sides of his face, you brought him down to you, since you couldn’t exactly sit up and go to him.

As soon as your lips returned home to his, you couldn’t stop the few tears from escaping your closed eyes.

Levi’s own eyes widened, and he was suddenly convinced he was dead. Was this actually happening? After everything he’s just done, everything he’s just said.

You forgave him?

When your tongue gently skirted his bottom lip, he decided contemplating forgiveness was something for later. Terrified of hurting you further, he rested his weight on his elbows, finally closing his eyes. He’d wanted this for so long. Since he laid eyes on you for the first time in ten years, he’d wanted nothing more than to envelop your mouth with his own.

With your eyes closed, you didn’t mind when his hand came up to gently caress the apple of your cheek. You didn’t mind when you opened your lips for his tongue to hesitantly slip in and explore your mouth, that slick muscle moving against yours. You didn’t mind when his hand travelled down to cup the side of your neck, tilting your head up to deepen the kiss.

Neither of you wanted to break away, having waited far too long for this moment. You reveled in the groan he emitted down your throat as your left hand found its way to his undercut, gently scratching and caressing in desperation. You hadn’t heard that sound in so long and you instantly craved more.

Levi’s eyes rolled back into his skull behind his closed lids, feeling your hands in his hair. God, he didn’t want to fuck you in a cell, but your hands and tongue were making it difficult for him to control himself.

He was the first to pull back, instantly missing the warmth of your mouth.

“I don’t understand,” he breathed, looking down into your eyes. You could see the swirling confusion in those sterling orbs as they flickered in the low light. You could see the arousal in his dark pupils. Feel it against your inner thigh. You wanted to take him right here and now, but not only did you acknowledge the fact you were literally in a prison cell…

You weren’t sure you were ready. Not yet. Not after everything.

“Levi… if you had done that for my sake, I would have shattered both your kneecaps,” you earned yourself a gentle laugh, his thumb coming up to smooth down your eyebrow. “But you didn’t. I know you feel selfish, and I know you hate yourself for it, but I also know that it was either that, or you beat them to death with that goddamn bat. I know you, Levi. You haven’t changed much yourself,” your left hand came back, softly carding through those ebony bangs.

Levi felt like he could fly. Felt as though you’d returned the wings he’d lost when he thought he’d never see you again.

(Y/N), I want to apolo—”

“Shut the fuck up.”

With that, you stretched up to capture his mouth again, instantly feeling like you’d come back home. You didn’t care about the surge of pain coursing through your abdomen and back. That’s what he was to you.

He was home.

You felt his length twitch in his constraints as both your hands found purchase in his hair, gently tugging at the black strands.

“Fuck…” he breathed into your mouth, his hips bucking involuntarily as you sucked his lower lip between your teeth.

You kept having to consciously remind yourself that you are in fact in a dank, filthy cell. And enveloping him between you increasingly slick folds was wildly inappropriate.

Levi thought it was entirely unfair how you were managing to drag whines and moans from him with nothing but your fingers and teeth. So he decided it was his turn to give something back.

His hand travelled down your body, almost instinctively finding the crease in your thighs. He swallowed his own groan of ecstasy as his knuckles grazed his arousal, opting instead to focus on the way your hips rose to meet the pads of his fingers, gently rubbing your swollen, clothed clit. His circular motions drawing out those small whimpers he’d craved to hear.

“Mmn, L-Levi... ACK, fuck!” your moan of pleasure turned into a small cry of pain as your abs contracted, sending yet another lightning bolt through your system. Levi withdrew his hand immediately, eyes instantly clearing and recognising your signs of discomfort.

“Shit (Y/N), your back,” you felt your heart swell at his concern, though internally cursed yourself.

“‘S’fine,” you insisted, rising up once again to grasp his lips with yours, only to be met with thin air and you ex(?) lover looking down at you.

“No, it’s not. C’mere,” Levi sighed and lifted himself off you, careful not to cause you any further damage. He looked for permission before gently turning you on your side, as if your tongue hadn’t been down his throat less than thirty seconds ago. He cursed his erection, finding himself a little hindered by it as he walked over to the faucet, allowing himself a few moments reprieve before removing the handkerchief from his pocket and running it under the tap.

Though the mirror was cracked, he could still see his slightly swollen lips, distorted against the spider webbing fractures. Could still see the mark you’d left on his face. Shit, he wished for those marks to be left elsewhere. His mind wandered back to the way you used to settle between his thighs, teasing him until you got him to crack. He loved the way you could coerce broken pleas from his throat. Adored the black-blue bites you left on the inside of his thighs, before your warmth enveloped him. Your flexible muscle flicking up and down his sensitive length, running over that prominent vein he hadn’t felt you caress in too long. He missed feeling the vibrations of your chuckle when he begged for you to let him cum. When he felt his balls tighten with release, and yet you denied him still.

But most of all he missed tasting you. He missed the way your arousal freely leaked onto his tongue. He missed the way your hips rose to meet his fingers, that breathy gasp when he found your hidden spot. The begs and cries you made when you wanted him to let you cum. When you whined for his dick to replace his fingers. Fuck, he missed the way your thighs locked his head between them as he brought you to climax with nothing but his tongue flicking over you little, sensitive button. Over, and over, and over again.

“Having trouble?” you grinned from your position on the sorry excuse for a mattress. You’d managed to turn yourself over to watch him, disregarding any agony you felt. You wouldn’t miss this for the world. You wouldn’t miss seeing Levi all riled up and unable to focus simply because of the administrations with your mouth.

“Shut up,” he grumbled, turning the faucet off and ringing out the cloth in the sink. You chuckled at his tone and his predicament, loving every second of it. Though you couldn’t miss the small glint of amusement in his dark eyes. “Oi, turn back ‘round. ‘Need to get to your back,”

“I bet you do,”

“(Y/N)...” he warned, with no real malice in his tone. If this was any other man, you would have lunged at them for taking that tone with you. But this was Levi. Your Levi. You knew he would never hurt you. Not unless absolutely necessary.

Case and point: hitting you with a bat to avoid a murder charge.

Begrudgingly, you tore your eyes from his face, haphazardly twisting on the mattress to face away from him.

“Hm, good girl,” Levi purred, eyes gleaming at the way your thighs clenched in reaction. But any spark of arousal was swiftly extinguished, when your body twitched away from his as he took his seat behind you.

You clenched your eyes shut, hating yourself for the reaction you couldn’t control. You didn’t blame Viper for your now primal fear. You knew he was just teaching you what you needed to know, but he had no fatherly experience, and possibly caused more harm than good.

“‘M’ sorry, it’s not you, I promise. I just—”

“No. No apologising. It’s not your fault,” you nodded, not trusting your voice not to crack if you spoke up now.

Levi thought hard about how he wanted to do this without causing any more reaction from you. Attempting to keep his mind from wandering too far, he tried to understand what made you comfortable enough to bring him onto your mouth. To gently tug on his lower lip. To thread your hands through his hair and--

“I have an idea… (Y/N), watch what I’m doing,” you did as he asked, turning your neck as much as you could to watch the movements of his hand. You tensed as his palm hovered over your side. But when you didn’t feel anything, you unscrewed one tightly shut eye, peering at him curiously.

“(Y/N), can you raise your body for me, just to reach my hand?” this might actually work. Levi had been wracking his brains for a way for you to feel comfortable again with touch.

Hesitantly, you slowly raised your body to meet his fingers, almost freezing as you felt no reaction. You didn’t tense, you didn’t instantly balk under his touch.

You hadn’t cried in years, and yet throughout the course of this long, long night, you had cried twice, the corners of your lashes growing damp as a tear slipped down the side of your face.

Growing increasingly concerned by your lack of response, Levi was about to move his hand from your side, but was immediately stopped by your own fingers covering his.

“Don’t. Stay. Don’t move away,” his heart burned at your broken plea, his worried expression softening in slight relief.

“I won’t. (Y/N), I’m not going to touch you without your permission. Ever. But, if you’re comfortable with it, we can do this. If you’re happy with this,” Levi gently moved his thumb against the fabric of your shirt, caressing your side. Your choked laugh of happy disbelief caused his small smile to broaden ever so slightly.

“Yes. Yes i’m happy with this,” still having trouble believing this was truly happening, you closed your eyes in bliss, allowing a few more tears to escape.

“Okay, I’m going to move your shirt up, alright?” your heart sung at his sincerity, nodding silently once again as you felt the fabric of your shirt bunch up ever so carefully. You loved how he always made you feel so precious. Nothing was precious in the Underground, but somehow he always made you feel worth diamonds and gold. You’d forgotten what that was like, until the damp cloth once again soothed your aching welts, chasing away the throbs of pain.

Those spears of guilt once again plunged into Levi’s heart as he saw what they had done to you. What he’d done to you. You were always so forgiving when it came to him. You always have been. He could lock himself in his room for days, not speak to you for hours on end and you would always be there to hold him when the pressure finally cracked. Always there to soothe him when he opened up after long weeks of isolation. When those memories of his mother dragged up again. When the day Kenny left forced him to hide away until he couldn’t take it anymore.

You always forgave him.

And could always sense what he was thinking.

He came back to the present when your hand squeezed his, as if you knew where his mind had taken him.

“It’s okay, Levi,” your soft reassurance broke his heart.

“I should be saying that to you,”

“Go on then,” you retorted, not even trying to hide the mischief in your voice

Levi chuckled, moving his hand from under yours to stroke your hair.

“It’s okay, (Y/N),”

“I feel thoroughly reassured,”

“Tch, shut up brat,” god, at this point your heart could have been a choir. Singing once again at the soft amusement gently lacing his tone. But you internally cringed as fingers threaded through your grimy hair, reaching up to move it away.

“Levi, don’t. It’s fucking filthy,”

“So’s your face but I recall sucking on it a few moments ago,”

“Levi!” you couldn’t believe he’d just said that. He was never one to make such jokes. But you couldn’t deny you loved it. Loved his low, breathy laugh at your indignant call of his name.

“What? Am I wrong?” you couldn’t see his slightly cheeky smirk behind you. Or the way one brow raised in feigned curiosity.

“Well no, but—”

“Didn’t think so.”

“God you’re insufferable. Anyone would think you’re— OW!” you turned to look back at him in mock anger. He didn’t actually hurt you, and by looking at your swiftly disintegrating expresion, Levi was able to decipher you were just fucking with him. Rolling his eyes, he continued his administration with the cloth, watching fondly as you settled back down.

You only spoke again when that hand in your hair started moving.

“Levi, seriously, it’s gross. Just focus on my back,” when he didn’t reply, you once again twisted back to look at him, unable to decipher the expression on his face.

“Stay here,”

“Like I’m in any condition to move, asshole,”

“Tch, don’t be difficult. I’ll be back in a minute,” with a final caress of your head, Levi chucked the cloth back into the sink before standing to his feet. You were a bit of a sorry sight, lying on your side, shirt ridden up to reveal your bruised, still bloodied back. He’d managed to gently scrub off most of the crimson staining your skin, but he wanted to provide you with just a little more comfort, if he could.

You didn’t even try to escape when he left the door open. Too tired to move. Your limbs felt like lead everytime you attempted to shift, exhaustion clinging to your bones like shackles. You didn’t know how long you waited, but you felt yourself start to drift in and out of consciousness, unable to help yourself marvel at how easy it would be to slip into a deep sleep. Your mind was far too heavy to sift through the lake of emotions you’d found yourself submerged in. Just as you were about to succumb to the call of rest, your faultless alert system brought you back to consciousness, adrenaline injected into your veins as you shot upright at the sound of footsteps.

“Calm down, it’s just me,” your brittle nerves settled at the sound of his calming voice, heart leaping when you saw what he carried in his arms.

Levi had brought everything he thought he would need. A small metal basin containing a small flannel, a wash-cloth, a small cup, the shower soap and hair conditioner from his own quarters and a large towel to spare the mattress of the water. Kicking the cell door almost closed with his foot, Levi crossed to the sink once again, setting out the contents on the cracked porcelain before filling the basin.

He left the faucet running, turning back to you with the town folded on his arm.

“Gonna need you to move if we want to set this down,” you raised a suggestive eyebrow, mouth pulling into a small smirk. Levi rolled his eyes. “Not like that, brat. Unless you want to sleep on a damp mattress. It’s up to you, really,” the amused spark in his eye betrayed his neutral, blank face as you gently shimmied down the bed, making a space for him to set the towel down.

You watched as he removed his jacket, mouth watering ever so slightly as his shirt clung to his back, unable to tear your eyes away from the movement of his muscles. They had certainly developed well.

“Oi, stop ogling,” he smirked to you over his shoulder, earning a sly grin from you in response.

“Can’t help it,” you chimed, eyes flicking to his forearms as he rolled up his sleeves. Fuck, if only you weren’t in a jail cell. Or utterly filthy. Or just not ready for that yet.

If only you didn’t have a thousand things stopping you from pushing him against the wall and engulfing his cock in down your throat.

But for now, you just had to settle with undressing and fucking him with your eyes. Something that clearly didn’t go unnoticed, if the way he writhed slightly under your pinning gaze was anything to go by.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Levi tried to steer his thoughts away from his length stiffening once again. Fuck, the way you were staring at him, he was starting to feel hot beneath his shirt, despite the naturally cool temperature of the room. Your heated chuckle only fueled the flames.

“Aw, why? Are you hard?” you teased, raking your eyes up and down his figure, lingering on the small tent in his crotch. You shifted slightly, almost groaning as the mattress below you rubbed against your swollen folds.

“Tch, obviously. And I’m not going to deal with it in this filthy prison cell, so don’t make it worse brat,” Levi marvelled at your laugh. A proper, head thrown back laugh. He couldn’t stop the fond smile spreading across his face at the sight.

“Alright alright, I’ll stop eye-fuckinig you,” you managed to say, after regaining some sort of composure.

“You’re filthy,”

“Isn’t that why you’re about to bathe me?” you tilted your head slightly, watching him lift the basin from the sink after turning off the faucet. He didn’t deem your comment worthy of a response, opting instead to look back at you with a blank, deadpan expression. Tucking everything else under his arm, Levi returned back to your side. He thought for a moment about how he wanted to do this before, wedging the water basin between his legs.

“Lie back, place your head on my lap. Gonna’ wash your hair,” he instructed, busying himself with getting the small, brown bottle of hair soap. But he paused upon sensing your hesitation. Looking back to you, he searched your face, before slowly bringing his hand up.

You shied away, closing your eyes instinctively, almost bracing yourself for the contact that never came.

“Hey, not gonna touch you without permission, remember?” you opened your eyes to see his hand hovering next to your cheek. He was waiting for your next move, and you could see the slight hopeful spark in his eye.

So slowly, you tilted your head enough to gently nuzzle into his palm, your own hand coming up to keep him against your face.

Levi smoothed the skin under your eye with his thumb, trying his damndest not to let any tears well up in his eyes.

Unbeknownst to him, you were attempting to do the same. Not wanting him to see you cry for the third goddamn time tonight. But it became impossible when he said something you didn’t know you needed to hear.

“I missed you so much, firefly,” your breath hitched in your throat at the old nickname. He’d only ever use it in the softest moments in the Underground. Stroking your hair whilst lying in his bed. Staying up and keeping you company when you’d shoot awake from a nightmare. He was never one for nicknames, so one day when he, out of the blue, called you his firefly;

you’d almost cried.

Your eyes widened, hand gently squeezing his own to ground yourself. You let out something halfway between a laugh and a sob.

“I missed you too. So, so much,” you hardly had to move forward before your face was nestled in the crook of his neck, his arms slowly tucking you against his body. “I missed you so much,” you whispered again.

Levi didn’t think he’d ever been this happy, at least not for a long, long time. Ecstatic you felt comfortable enough to let him hold you. Though he was usually so good at keeping his feelings to himself, so much had happened over the last week, he felt the walls to his emotional dam cracking ever so slightly, a few tears lining his closed eyes. He could feel the collar of his shirt dampen as you shed silent tears, his thumb rubbing small circles against your back.

Levi held you like this for what felt like hours. Content to just be in each other’s arms once again. In reality, it had only been a few minutes before he gently shifted you so the back of your head rested against his lap.

“Never known you to be such a cry-baby,” he lightly teased, gathering what he could of your hair and soaking it within the basin still wedged between his knees.

“I’m not. I haven’t cried in years. Literally. Probably since Viper’s—” you stopped yourself, not expecting the casual statement to hurt quite as much as it did. “Viper’s death,” you finished quietly, eyes avoiding any direct contact with his own.

Levi took note of your tone change, reaching for the hair soap. He was only vaguely aware of the relationship between you and the old Nest leader. Finding out through those vile MPs.

“Want to talk about it?” The tone of his question matched yours as he lathered the gel into your now cleaner locks to make sure the grime and grease was properly dealt with.

“Honestly? Not yet. Maybe not ever. I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to anyone about it. Not even Prongs, or Wolf, and they were his Shadows before mine,” you fell silent for a moment, before looking back to him. “How did you do it? How did you just… leave everything behind?”

Levi sighed at the innocence of your question. The raw guilt he knew you were feeling. Knowing you were up here, safe, warm, comfortable, whilst so many people down there were still suffering. Still dying from easily preventable illnesses.

“I didn’t. Not really. I still find myself thinking back to those poor sods down there. But I couldn’t think about it for too long, because I would find myself thinking back to you,” his hand stroked the top of your now damp forehead, smoothing down the wet locks of your hair.

The basin sloshed slightly as you nodded, disheartened by the fact that this feeling of suffocating guilt would probably never leave you. Levi saw this in your face. He saw the exact same swirl of emotions he felt when he knew he would never return.

But you’d left behind so much more than he did. You had a trusted group. A family who would only know what happened to you through the words of that young girl.

“They’ll be safe, (Y/N). He may be an asshole sometimes, but I trust Erwin. He wouldn’t break his word,” running his hands through your soaked hair, Levi gently teased the knots out with his fingers, easily gliding through the now freed strands.

His reassurance calmed your worries. Levi hardly trusted anyone, you only ever knew him to trust Isobel, Farlan and yourself. This Erwin guy must have really made an impression.

Reaching back to the small flannel he’d brought down with him, he began drying your hair, setting the basin to one side. You didn’t think you’d ever felt this pampered. This well looked after. You thought you could certainly get used to it. Returning your thoughts to the conversation, you exhaled a sigh.

“Yeah, I know. It’s just… My job was to take care of them. My job was to stop something like this from happening. Our entire operation was compromised because my shitty partner couldn’t get over some grudge she had against a boy she’d never met,” you poked his chest as he rolled his eyes, looking down at you with a brow raised.

“So it’s my fault?”

“I didn’t say that,”

“You implied it,”

“Oh don’t be so sensitive,”

“I wasn’t the one who cheated,”

You almost sat bolt upright at that, if it weren’t for him anticipating the movement. What did he mean ‘cheat’? You didn’t cheat. You would never cheat. Loyalty ran through your veins like blood, and if you weren’t so incredulous you would have spotted the smallest hint of mischief in his steely eyes.

“Wh— Cheat? I didn’t cheat. What makes you think that?” your genuine concern broke his heart, and he almost felt bad for teasing you like this.

Almost.

Taking your face in both his hands, Levi failed to suppress the fugitive smirk on his face.

“We technically never broke up, brat,” you breathed a sigh of relief, before turning back to scowl at him, tempted to lightly smack the back of his head.

“Don’t fucking scare me like that, asshole,” your scowl held no heat, too relieved that he was just being pedantic rather than actually implying you would ever be disloyal. But your glare melted away at the rumble of a chuckle emitting from his chest. You rolled your eyes, trying your best to feign annoyance and failing miserably.  

Removing the small towel from your now damp hair, Levi deemed it dry enough for you to sleep on without catching a cold.

“There. Think you can do the rest yourself? I don’t wanna… make you uncomfortable or anything,” it was your turn for your heart to break, his consideration for your comfort and wellbeing always seemed to be his top priority. You took his hand in yours, gently stroking your thumb over his knuckles.

“You’ve done more than enough,” earnest gratitude swam in your eyes and it was all Levi could do not to stoop down and kiss you.

Instead, he stayed put for a little while longer, stealing all the seconds he could. He’d realised, with you joining the Survey Corps, you two wouldn’t be able to do this anymore. The company you’d both enjoyed for the past week would be ripped away by expeditions, training and paperwork.

So he greedily took as much time as the two of you could spare, before you would inevitably have to part ways.

“I have to go, (Y/N),” Levi whispered, although every part of him was longing to stay, especially when your face slowly fell in realisation.

“I know,” you tried to mask your melancholy with a gentle smile, but your voice betrayed you, breaking slightly as you spoke. Neither of you wanted to be the one to move. Neither of you wanted to be the first to burst the protective bubble of familiarity you both knew you wouldn’t feel again for a long, long time.

But to save him from doing it himself, you were the one to shift, allowing him to rise from the bed.

“I’ll uh, leave all this here and collect it early in the morning,” Levi shifted slightly awkwardly on his feet, running a hand through his hair. You nodded, adjusting yourself carefully. Your midsection didn’t hurt as much, more of an echoing throb, but you were still cautious nonetheless.

“Right, yeah. Probably a good idea, before anyone sees,” you shrugged, avoiding having to look at his face. You knew it would break both of you if you’d asked whether there was any chance of him staying.

Just for a little while longer.

“I’ll see you soon… Raven,” you felt your soul crack as he replaced your name with your alias. You knew it was right. You knew it was for the best. But that wouldn’t stop every fiber of your being shattering.

Levi hated how you said nothing as he turned to leave. He pretended not to notice your heartbreak as he deliberately called you Raven. He suppressed the urge to pick you up and take you with him. To carry you to his bed and cage you in his arms as you both fell asleep in each other’s embrace.

He didn’t know your prolonged silence was because you were gathering your courage. Silently arguing with yourself over what was right and what was wrong until you stopped him by calling his name.

“Levi…” There was no turning back now. You took a breath, finally raising your eyes to meet his now on the other side of the bars. “I—” love you.

You immediately stopped yourself, finding those three words caught in your throat. You couldn’t say them. Shit, you couldn’t say them.

You were a coward.

“Thank you,”

Levi stayed searching your face. He knew. He knew that wasn’t what you wanted to say. Because that wasn’t what he wanted to hear. He let loose a breath he didn’t know he was holding, giving you one last look of badly masked longing, before turning away.

“Training starts tomorrow,” though the words themselves were cold, his tone was laced with mourning as his footsteps echoed out of earshot, leaving you completely and utterly alone.

Levi had managed all but three steps into the hallway before his name was called by an irritatingly familiar voice.

“Ah, Levi. Good. My office. Now, if you’re not busy,” Erwin had a way of saying ‘if you’re not busy’ that sounded like he was really saying ‘there is absolutely no debate in this, you could be bleeding out and missing an arm and I would still expect you in my office within the next five minutes’. Levi knew he didn’t exactly have a choice.

“Sure. Let me make some tea and I’ll be right there,” he knew he’d made a mistake. The look in Erwin’s cerulean eyes told him that the tall blonde had figured something out. Something dangerous that could compromise his relationship with you.

Actually, he’d probably figured out he had a relationship with you.

Shit…

He was in so much trouble.

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

Ooh shadowgast and 8 (touches)?

shielding the other with their body

It was only a matter of time before the Dynasty caught up with him, Essek thinks. He's been their most wanted person for a year and they've finally traced him. He first noticed it in the market. He was wearing a disguise so he appeared like a human man, no one should have recognized him.

But as he was scanning a table of fresh vegetables, he caught something out of the corner of his eye, the symbol of the beacon. Essek inhales sharply. A Kryn soldier wouldn't risk being caught in Rexxentrum for anything less that the order of the Bright Queen.

Essek slowly puts the squash he had been checking down and tries to appear casual as he walks through the market. Immediately, he can tell two Kryn are following him.

Heart pounding, Essek takes series of winding turns, hoping to lose them, but he knows there's no chance. Now that they've found him they would leave until he's in their grasps.

Essek curses softly under his breath. "Think," he mutters to himself. In his mind he scans through places to run, even teleport. He can't go home without risking Caleb's life. He can't go to the Archive or the Academy.

"Fuck!" He exclaims softly. He can hear the soldiers' footsteps picking up pace. So he teleports out of the street, no real destination in mind. And that, as it turns out, lands him directly in the middle Caleb's office.

Caleb's head snaps up from where he had been working on a rather large stack of papers. "Shatz?" Caleb jumps to his feet and runs over to Essek. "What's going on?"

Essek stumbles back from Caleb. No, no, no he can't be here. He's putting Caleb in danger. He has to get away. Essek starts to run towards the door, but as he does a loud knock echoes through the room.

Essek stumbles back in fear, his heart beating like a jack rabbit when on the other side he hears, "Professor Widogast, we have reason to believe you know the whereabouts of a Kryn operative loose in the city. Open up, we need to talk."

"One moment, please!" Caleb calls to them as he manhandles Essek towards his supply closet. "I just need to finish grading this paper."

Essek lets Caleb shove him into the closet, though it's really more of a cabinet. The door shuts behind him with a barely audible click, leaving Essek alone in the dark closet. He holds his breath, not daring to move or make a single sound as Caleb opens the door and begins talking with the Crownsguard on the other side.

Essek knows he needs to focus on what they're saying, but all he can hear is blood rushing in his ears. He doesn't know how long he waits there, how long Caleb talks to the Crownsguard, but eventually, the handle turns and begins to open.

Essek tenses, ready to teleport again or to summon a ball of gravity to his hand. But on the other side of the door is Caleb, looking incredibly worried. "They're gone," Caleb tells him quietly.

"I'm sorry," Essek says, "I didn't mean to put you in any danger. They were following me and-and I didn't know what to do."

Caleb shakes his head and tugs Essek into a hug. Essek almost collapses against Caleb's chest. "It's okay, Shatz." Caleb rubs his back gently. "I'm not going to let them take you."

"I don't want you to get hurt," Essek admits softly.

Caleb's arms tighten around him, "You don't need to worry about me. I can take care of myself. We'll figure this out," Caleb assures him.

Essek just nods, knowing that it will probably be much more complicated than Caleb is saying. But he just lets himself be held, completely trusting Caleb to keep him safe.

[juminly]

The Death of Me (Nobunaga x Reader)

Fandom: Ikémen Sengoku.  Pairing: Nobunaga Oda x F!Reader.  Summary: After being away from you for a while, Nobunaga finally comes back... and he misses you so.

Rating: Explicit. (Minors, DNI)

Warnings: Fingering, Teasing, Nipple Play, Dom/Sub Undertones, Slight Exhibitionism, Very Very Light Choking, Dirty Talk, Marking, Implied Oral Sex, Outdoor Sex, Doggy-Style.  –♥– ”Why is my queen looking up at the midnight sky when she should be waiting and watching the woods, seeking my arrival?”

His low husky voice swept into your ears without warning, it was unclear whether it was the sudden gust of wind that sent your skin shivering or if it was the sensation of having your Devil King pressed against your back, hovering behind you as he settled his chin on your shoulder and his hands found home on the top of your thighs. You knew better than that, feeling the minuscule movement of his hands as they began to travel up your body. He murmured against the column of your throat but all you wanted to know was if your Nobu was safe and sound and if his mission was successful. When you parted your lips to speak, the way his name fell from your lips in an inquisitive tone, your lover knew exactly what you were going to say and what was going through your mind and reassuring you was absolutely his top priority before anything else. He was still human after all and you would fear for his life, even from a mere cold and he has seen it with his own two bloody eyes.

“Tsk, when all my victories are sure and certain, my Queen, you worry about such trivial matter when it seems that my apparent claims of territoires that are exclusively mine and occupied by myself have been fading?” His hands meandering over your supple curves squeezed your small waist, right over the obi that had the kimono you were wearing tied together, tearing your mind away, wondering what your Devil King was talking about and what he was planning to do to you.

"I suppose my fireball is due for a reminder since she's been fiery enough to be wearing my clothes upon my unexpected return." The heat of his breath increased as you felt his lips part against your skin, his teeth grazing ever so gently before sinking into your flesh as he soon sucked on you as gently as he could. Not.

This was only a preamble to what he had planned for you and having spent over a week away from you already had him reeling and aching for a taste of you. The thought finally clicking in you brain, the blemishes that clearly marked you as Nobu's were no longer there. And the thought did not please him in the slightest. However, there was a silver lining. Now he could claim you over again, as he had many times before. As he will continue to do so as long as he is able to breathe.

Sucking in your breath with an audible hiss, you could feel the blood rushing through your veins as Nobu began so diligently marking very visible spots, tactically choosing the lands in which he wanted his claim to be the most apparent. His breathing seemed to be controlled yet you could feel his heart beating fast, hard and strong against your back, his hands were now cupping your breasts, over the fabric of the kimono of his that you had so brazenly worn, the same kimono that you had worn from the desire of wanting to be surrounded by them, the feeling of having him on you, his scent... anything of his.

It was all you needed, especially when he was away. You looked beyond delectable to him...The fact that you were dressed in a piece of apparel of his taunted him in inexplicable ways, especially since you did so when he had been away. What were the thoughts that you had of him when he was away? Were you thinking of him as much as he had been thinking of you? There had been so many thoughts whirling through his mind even as he had been so immersed in his role as King during his mission, yet deep down, nothing could change the fact that he was your lover and he would yearn for you, in any time, any place. He was irrevocably yours and the way you had occupied not only his heart and soul but his mind as well spoke volumes. Someone had to pay and it had be both of you.

His lips were ruthless on your skin, visible dusky spots appearing in his wake as his tongue teased your earlobe as he sucked on it ever so gently and whispered in your ear. "Is my queen glad that I have returned or maybe we shall allow your body to speak for you, hm?" Tracing a wet trail over the seams of your earlobe before speaking once again, every word from him blowing on it and eliciting the slightest of trembles while his calculated motions only caused the sleeves of the kimono to slowly fall off your shoulders, slowly but surely exposing more of your chest, the fabric barely even covering your breasts.

He could feel your pebbled nipples as he gently brushed his fingers over your breasts, the hardened beads noticeable even through the barrier that had dared to separate you from your lover and almost, excruciatingly so, he finally allowed the fabric to fall and unveil what you both sought.You wanted nothing more than his hands on you and he wouldn't even fathom the thought of depriving you of that wish.

Finally, his calloused fingers flicked over the sensitive pebbles while he palmed at the tenderness of your mounds, every part of you hanging on every word he spoke as you were aching to turn around and be utterly consumed by crimson, a pool of darkened blood that had every ounce of your being screaming in yearning. You knew the moment you looked upon it, you would then be rendered completely helpless, not that you already were. You were lying to yourself. As you tried to wriggle in his grasp, wanting to act upon your thoughts, Nobu pinched you, hard enough to elicit a small gasp from you and gentle enough not to hurt you.

"Nobu, please. Let me hold you. I've missed you and I want to just.."  Pushing you against him as he pressed you against the railing of the balcony, you couldn't help but squeal, a surge of adrenaline mixing with the desire rushing through you. "You better not let me go, Nobu. I've waited long for you. Let me have you first and then you can let me go."

Nobu chuckled, the resounding sound making your heart fluttering with happiness as if it were a bell that chimed in reaction to the blissful echo coming from the depth of his throat. ”My fireball has enough energy to tease me even in a compromising situation such as this.”

Finally turning you around, you were finally able to lay your eyes upon your lover. Finally taking him in, knowing that he was safe, knowing that he was back where he belonged, in your arms. You were expecting to see that devilish smirk of his, that expression that made your skin tingle and a deep knot being tied so tightly in your stomach. Yet, you were welcomed by a serene smile and eyes shining with emotions that you could only identify as affection and adoration. Bringing your hands to cradle his face, he leaned down and greeted you with an enrapturing kiss, his tongue stripping you from any thought that wasn't of him in your mind while one of his, hastily slid over your midsection and over the obi that was the only piece that kept the kimono on you, traveling down to smooth his hand over the apex of your thigh.

A deep chuckle resounded from his chest. You, out of everyone in Japan, being able to read his mind on specific occasions and especially in intimate ones, knew what he was thinking and aiming for. As he pressed himself harder against you, pinning you against the railing so you couldn't even move, even if you wanted to, the imprint of his hardness becoming imminent as you felt it probing your waist but you were far more distracted by what he planned to do with those fingers that had been teasing the softness of your inner thigh.

Right when you broke the kiss to catch your breath, Nobu pushed two fingers inside you and curled them immediately, caressing your inner walls and watching you with a fierce gaze, with bated breath that matched yours. “I know how the fire of impatience burns within you, love, I can tell by feeling how wet you are for me. But patience..." His smile grew wider as he watched your back arch and your mouth fall open as he easily slid in a third finger inside you.

"You shall find what you seek. See, I have all the intention to ravish you after I watch you fuck yourself with my fingers and tell me how much you have longed for me in my absence. Move, my love. I want to see your hips thrusting down on my fingers, bringing yourself over the edge, using me just for your own pleasure." One of your hands gripped his hair tightly when the other scratched at the skin of his nape, not even eliciting a wince from him as he watched you with a pleased smiled while you hump his hand, his thumb finally joining to drive you even closer to your climax.

"May the past lie in the past yet I can’t help but find myself curious and jealous of the thought of you not thinking about me the way I’ve been thinking about you. I’ve rode miles before my men as I left them to rest just so I can be here with you, my warrior Queen." Noticing how you had bitten your lips, the influx of sensations coursing through you, your legs quivering and barely managing to keep you standing, your grip around his shoulders even loosening as your strength is slowly drained out of you with the sheer intensity of your desire. His lips crashed down on yours, biting your lower lip and prying your mouth open, taking in the delicious sweet and soft moans that you were making in your kiss.Taking your breath away, his lips still hovered against yours, his eyes now even closer to yours, an unmistakable yearning in them.

"This nonsense of you being my future Queen than actually being my Queen is nothing I want to hear from you. Especially when you know the power you hold over me. People know you as The Queen that reins over the Devil King himself and that is not something that I'm saying.” What he told you were not just mere words, coming from him, they meant more, they weighed so heavily on your heart as you continue to get more acquainted with how deep his love truly runs for you. Brushing his lips gently across your cheeks, he whispered in your ear.

"It is what the people say. And I can tell you... It's true." And that's when you snapped. Your vision blurred as the waves of pleasure came crashing down on you, your core clamping down on his fingers which he was now pumping in you, helping you ride out the aftershock of what was just the prelude of the night. And he wasn't going to stop there.

"You're going to turn around for me, Queen of mine and let me fuck right under the midnight sky, so that the Heavens can look upon us and watch me as I claim you as mine and no one has a single say in it but me... and you." He spoke as he licked your slickness that dripped from his fingers, his attitude as haughty as it had always been but there was so much more in it than that. The vulnerability dripped from every word he said, the way the crimson of his eyes shined for comfort, for solace that he could find within and with you.

Removing your hands from around his shoulders, he brought of your hands to his lips, kissing your hands and your palms before turning you around and placing them on the rails of the balcony. "Since you had so eagerly took it upon yourself to decorate your body with a kimono of mine, you will not be taking it off until I am through with you." Pushing the fabric of the kimono to the side and exposing the lower half of your body to the cold wind, shivers ran over your skin but soon, you would have enough to warm you up.

"Nobu, I don't think I can stan... Ahh..." With a swift thrust, your King had completely sheathed himself inside you and began rocking his hips against yours, the slap of his skin against your behind joining the chiming of the cicadas that accompanied you in your intimate reunion. Your slick from your previous release only aided him in thrusting in and out of you at an intense pace, each time he plunged deep inside of you, the head of his cock would brush that sweet spot of yours and your body rocking forward with the sheer force of your warrior.

One of his hands were wrapped around your neck when the other had been placed on your lower stomach, his middle finger running incoherent and cruel circles over your sensitive nub. By the end of that night, you knew that you would be shaking from overstimulation and it was clearly bound to happen. Squeezing his hand around your throat briefly, Nobunaga growled against your neck. "Right after I'm done fucking you on the balcony, I'm going to carry you to my room and you're going to show me exactly what you were thinking of doing to me while I was gone." He chuckled lightly and kissed your cheek, the gesture almost a little too sweet for what he was doing to you. Completely and utterly wrecking your body.

"I'm going to watch you 'bounce on my dick' as you always say in the middle of your sleep, your naughty thoughts always revealing themselves to me. Shamelessly. And I wouldn't accept otherwise. Just like how your body tells me how much you want me. Your cunt is milking my cock so good... Gods... What are you doing to me?"

Gripping you a tad bit tighter, he turned your head so he could kiss you senseless, his hold on you the only thing keeping you both seemingly grounded. "You'll suck both your cum and mine off me, looking at me with those fiery eyes as you devour me whole and show me how determined you are to make me weak for you. Hah... Before I... take you all over again... Until you are completely spent. Don't you know how weak for you I am, my love? You... If I'll allow anything or anyone to be the death of me, it would be you..."

Only you... –♥– Tagging: @delicateikemenmemes, @sweetlittlemouse come get your man... again hehe.  Please feel free to leave some love in the comments or some feedback!💜 You can also check out my Masterlist ! 

[supercorpkid]

Mind Controlled – The Series.

Part 2 – Pull the trigger.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader, Alex Danvers x Niece!Reader, Lex Luthor x Niece!Reader.

Word count: 2300.

Warning: Injuries, violence, pain, angst.

Previously on the series - part 1

You land on the same room, on the same building, waiting for Lex's voice to come out of the speaker with further instructions. You’re ready to do whatever he asks from you.

“You’re back, my bösewicht.” You hear his voice sometime later. “I presume you have done a good job leaving your mothers wrecked?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Such an obedient little monster. A Super with a Luthor’s brain. Why has no one thought about this before? Oh yes, I have. But they called me a mad man for it, and yet here you are.” And there you are. Standing still, staring at a wall, waiting for more orders. “In that stupid outfit, dear Lord, why would anyone be dressed in those stupid clothes?”

You look down on your super suit. You do look stupid. This stupid skirt, horrible boots, long sleeve shirt so tight if you were human, it would mark your skin. It makes you so sick you want to rip it off of your body.

“Nevertheless, with you playing pet for me, I can do whatever I want even still in jail.” The static comes again, but Lex doesn’t stop talking. “I should’ve known Lena would be greedy and want a smart and powerful kid. But I hadn’t had confirmation, that was until mother came here to visit and told me all about you. So impressed with her little granddaughter.” He lets out a chuckle. “I can’t imagine how infuriated she’ll be once she finds out it was her, who gave me the idea to mind control you.”

You think about Lillian, and how impressed she is with you. You give yourself a cocky smile. She should be impressed, you are impressive.

“Kryptonians might have strong minds, but Luthors? We’re unfortunately just humans. So my bright sister didn’t think that having a powerful kryptonian daughter with a susceptible mind wasn’t a good idea?” He scoffs. "Oh, Lena. You may try, but you will never be smart like me.”

There’s a loud breathing sound.

“That’s enough of chatting. I have better things for you to do, my bösewicht. You’ll break me out of jail when it’s time, but first-” There’s a wicked little pause. “Let’s destroy the Super name.”

Your body is suddenly filled with rage and wrath. You want to destroy everything. You want to drop a bomb in everyone’s head. You want to make them suffer.

“That’s it. Use your rage. Destroy National City, scare them, let them see you in your worst form. Let them fear the Supers, and then, come for me.”

“Yes, sir.”

You fly off the window, looking for a place to start. You want to cause damage, you want them to be scared of you, whoever they may be.

You start off by using your heat vision to draw the ‘House of El’ symbol in the middle of the park, so they know who’s responsible for all that it is coming their way. You watch the grass burning, the form coming along and your heart beats fast, enthusiastic.

You didn’t even start the destruction part yet, and this already feels fulfilling. You know exactly where to go next.

You fly to your training center and you look down. This stupid-ass place gives you no good memories at all. You got beat up, got yelled at, got annoyed every time your powers didn’t work like they were supposed to, got angry at people looking at you thinking you weren’t good enough. You remember their disapproving looks; you remember the tiniest of sighs you’ve heard.

Fuck them all.

Your heat vision hits the ground, and your heart gets heavy, but your powers never stop. You can almost taste the feeling of being a disappointment in your mouth. And it gets you incredibly proud of yourself. You want to disappoint them. Them being proud of you means nothing at all.

You look down on the entire place up in flames. This is the right thing. Destroying this place will send them a message. You are not their little pet anymore. They can’t keep you under a leash, pretending you’re not powerful and fucking special. You’re so fucking special, even Lex wants your powers.

It’s not long until Supergirl flies in front of you. You smirk at her looking down. There’s a powerful feeling cursing through your veins. You know she can see it too. Your hair blowing in the wind, your stupid super suit moving almost in slow motion, your eyes burning of rage with little flames dancing in the dark of your enlarged pupils.

“I believe you owe me an apology.” It’s the first thing you say, after unclenching your jaw. “You called me weak.” You spit, disgusted. “You were mistaken.”

“Deeply.” Kara agrees looking down, and you notice the cars from the DEO stopping, people getting out of them in desperation, trying to put out the fire. That makes you so happy. She looks back at you. “Is this what this whole thing is about? You’re trying to prove to me you’re strong, after all this time?”

“Trying?” You scoff, then your face goes back to a frown. “I don’t need to prove myself. Especially not to someone who uses her powers to stop bank robberies instead of having the world under her firm grip.”

“I know you’re not my daughter.” Kara comes a little bit closer; you don’t move. You’re not scared of her, but she should be scared of you. “Are you bizarro?”

“You’re too far consumed in this battle of ego to see right in front of you.” You tilt your head, letting a creepy smile dangle on your lips. “Don’t you recognize your little one, mommy?”

“If that’s the case, then I have to stop you either way, little one.” Kara does her whole superhero pose and you laugh at her.

“You can’t. You don’t have the stomach.” You look down to the ground and you see Lena there. “I see, you won’t be the one doing it. Clean hands, right? Let the Luthor hurt the Kryptonian. It’s the natural order of things.”

“I’m sorry, my love. It has to be done.” Supergirl flies towards you in one motion. You still try to fly away, but she is a little faster, so she grabs you easily. You push her, punch her, you even pull her hair, but she doesn’t let go.

She lands on the floor with you wrapped in her arms, and Lena comes closer. Kryptonite gun in hand. Soon, you’re surrounded by agents with their own guns. Supergirl lets you go, flying above you, but not leaving, in case you decide to make a run for it.

You look at Lena. Gun in hand. You listen to her heartbeat going crazy and you smile at her.

Let’s play, mom.

“Do it.” You dare. “I want to see you pull that trigger. I want to see you hurt your own daughter with Kryptonite.”

“I don’t want to do this, baby.” Lena assures you, taking a small step towards you. “I promise you, I’ll figure out what’s going on with you. You just have to come with me.”

“You’ve always known, haven’t you?” You lock eyes with watery green eyes behind the gun. “You’ve always known someday the Luthor genes would shine through. Because no matter how good the Super gene is, the Luthor one is worse. So, so bad. Rotten to the core. You’ve always known I wouldn’t be able to resist.”

“I’ve told you before. We are not Luthors. We are Luthor-Danvers, and that means something. Please, stand down. Let me look at you.”

“Tell me to stand down one more time and I’ll throw-” You look at one guy on your left and point at him. “That guy into space.”

“Baby.” It’s Lena’s last try, you can see it in her face. You can see the way her finger presses lightly at the trigger. You also hear how that makes everyone else do the exact same movement.

“I’m not going to run away. But I won’t surrender, either.” You defy her. “If you want me to go with you, then you have to do it. You have to pull the trigger and you have to live with the guilt all your life.”

“I’m sorry it has come to this, baby.” But her face doesn’t hold much sentiment, nor does she lower her weapon. “But you know I have to do this. You can’t go on pulling stunts like this. You can’t keep thinking there are no consequences to your actions.”

“You are not sorry.” You smirk. “Don’t try to play me for a fool, Lena.” It’s the way her name leaves your mouth that makes her flinch. “I know you’re dying to pull that trigger and be the one who tamed a Kryptonian once again. It’s what all Luthors want in the end.”

She pulls the trigger, making you fall on the floor in pain, after a blast of kryptonite hits your chest.

“You should be so satisfied now.” You whimper. Kryptonite filling your body. “You’ve used kryptonite on your wife, and now on your daughter. It’s a full circle, isn’t it?” You spit out your words.

Lena puts you in handcuffs that strip you off of your powers, and strokes your cheeks gently. Eyes full of tears and instant regret.

“I’m bringing you back, my baby. I promise you.” She whispers delicately, like she’s not even talking to you anymore, but maybe to the memory she has of you.

But the two agents that come from behind you don’t pick you up delicately. In fact, they seem very pissed at you, and you’re shoved into the back of a van where Alex is.

“Aunt Alex.” You start with your bitchy tone and Alex breathes deep.

“Listen kiddo, I’m not in the mood.” She shakes her head, upset. “You just caused us millions of dollars in damages, Kara is a wreck, and don’t even get me started on Lena.” Alex raises her eyes from her tablet. “I know you’re not yourself, that’s why I don’t give a fuck about this. You start talking? That gag goes in your mouth in a second. Don’t think you can play me like you did with your moms.”

“I think the story would be really different if Lena hadn’t cuffed me and stripped me off of my powers.” You raise an eyebrow, not breaking eye contact. “You’re scared of me too.”

“Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?” Alex smiles unbothered. “I’ve dealt with things much worse, and much scarier than you and your babyface.” She grabs the gag and looks at you. “Now shut it, or I’ll make you.”

You decide to shut up. Your quarrel isn’t with Alex and the last thing you want it’s to be shut up. The best course of action is going willingly, and working something up in the DEO, because you know for sure there is where they’re taking you.

It’s Alex who shoves you inside of a cell, when you get there. Locks the glass door, and turns on some red sun lamps. You bite your mouth at the idea of it. They are very scared of you; they keep finding ways to strip you off of your powers.

It takes a few minutes until you hear talking on the other side of the glass. You can’t see them, or hear them well enough, but there’s one voice that stands out. You bitch grin to yourself.

Let’s play, momma.

"Mommy” You use your best and sweetest voice. Kara comes closer to the glass cell, and you stare at her from the other side. You want to destroy this place brick by brick until there’s nothing left, but you know if you’re aggressive about it, they won’t let you out. “Please, let me out. Can you open the door, please?"

"Kid, I'm sorry but we have to understand what's-" Kara starts, but you interrupt her.

"I'm begging you, please, please mommy." You drop on your knees. Tears falling from your eyes, and that act allures a crowd. Lena and Alex soon join Kara on the other side.

"Baby, I'm sorry." Kara gasps, and you watch Lena’s hand squeezing her shoulder reassuring. “You know I want to-”

"You said you would protect me. This isn't protection.” Your tears stop falling, you’re angry again. The act isn’t working. You clench your fist, using all the strength you have, trying to focus so the anger doesn’t consume you. You feel the palms of your hands burning, with nails digging into your flesh. “Please, this isn’t fair. Mom, please, do something.”

"I swear this is for your own good." Lena takes a deep breath, not buying into what you’re saying. Great. You’re done faking either way.

“FUCK YOU! LET ME OUT OF THIS CELL!” You bang on the cell, screaming as loud as you can. You see your blood leaving hand-shaped marks on the glass. Your scream is loud, but the banging is louder.

“Baby, please, you have to calm down.” You hear Kara’s voice trying to sooth you. It gets you angrier.

"FUCK YOU TOO! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT NOW!" They look at the blood splashed onto the glass. Your face is burning red, and Kara flinches at the sight of you. Lena doesn't, so you know your best shot is with your momma. "Kara, I swear if you don't open this cell right now, I will hate you until the day I die."

“That’s enough.” You hear Alex’s voice and the glass turns black. You can’t see them on the outside, and you know they can’t see inside either. You can’t hear their voices, so you suspect they’re not listening to your unrelenting yell anymore.

Fuck. You need a new escape plan.

[goodnightmemes]

DEXTER SEASON ONE SENTENCE STARTERS

❛ You're mine now, so do exactly as I say. ❜

❛ Open your eyes and look at what you did! ❜

❛ I'm a very neat monster. ❜

❛ Pretty fucking please with cheese on top. ❜

❛ You have a morbid sense of fun. ❜

❛ What happened changed something inside you. ❜

❛ If God is in the details, and if I believed in God, then he's in this room with me. ❜

❛ I can kill a man, dismember his body, and be home in time for "Letterman." But knowing what to say when my girlfriend's feeling insecure...I'm totally lost. ❜

❛ Neither you nor I is in complete control of our destinies. ❜

❛ There are no secrets in life, just hidden truths that lie beneath the surface. ❜

❛ Keeping my face pinched in sorrow for two hours straight is a real chore. ❜

❛ A whole life reduced to ashes. ❜

❛ I can't help it. I kill things. ❜

❛ When you take a man's life, you're not just killing him, you're snuffing out all the things he'll ever become. ❜

❛ Killing must serve a purpose. Otherwise it's murder. ❜

❛ You don't play by the rules. Why should I? ❜

❛ If I had a heart, it might be breaking right now. ❜

❛ I'm all for sending the message, but this ain't the way. ❜

❛ Scream and lose a tongue. ❜

❛ Death isn't the end. It's the beginning of a chain reaction that will catch you if you're not careful. ❜

❛ If I let someone get that close, they'd see who I really am, and I can't let that happen. ❜

❛ I like it here with you. You're the only person people hate more than me. ❜

❛ Sometimes, I'm not sure where _____'s vision of me ends and the real me starts. ❜

❛ Everyone hides who they are at least some of the time. ❜

❛ So I'm neither man nor beast. I'm something new entirely, with my own set of rules. ❜

❛ Stop grinning like a fucking psycho and get back to work. ❜

❛ Freedom's just another word for one more way to get fucked. ❜

❛ Maybe you should just learn the basics before you reinvent the damn wheel. ❜

❛ The problem with acting normal is normal people get into stupid situations like this. ❜

❛ Maybe if I don't blink, my eyes will tear up. ❜

❛ Under normal circumstances, I'd take that as a compliment. ❜

❛ Keeping the truth from the people closest to you is how you'll survive, and how you'll protect them if anything goes wrong. ❜

❛ Every time something goes a little bit right, something like this happens. ❜

❛ God, I feel like I need a shower just looking at this douche bag. ❜

❛ ____ will forgive me eventually. That's who she is - bighearted, kind, nothing like me. ❜

❛ The only sound I hear, the only sound in the entire world...is my heart beating. ❜

❛ I swear, after this case, I'm submitting your ass for psychiatric evaluation. ❜

❛ We hit the motherfucking mother lode. ❜

❛ When did you first notice it? This darkness inside the guy you fell for. ❜

❛ God, this is such a mess, and I've dragged you into it. ❜

❛ Just let me grab my heart up off the fucking floor. ❜

❛ Goddamn, you are fine when you're mad. ❜

❛ Fascination with serial killers is an American pastime. ❜

❛ All the expectations I had, all the promises of greatness, wiped out. ❜

❛ My circle of friends is down to one. ❜

❛ Don't kill anyone who doesn't deserve to die. ❜

❛ I'm empty...but I found a way to make it feel less bottomless. ❜

❛ You pretend the feelings are there for the world, and for the people around you. Who knows? Maybe one day they will be. ❜

❛ I always prided myself on being an outsider, but now, I feel the need to connect with someone. ❜

❛ Why do bloodstains always look like crustaceans to you? ❜

❛ To some people, death makes perfect sense. Life - now, that's the puzzle. ❜

❛ This is the only way I know how to keep you out of an electric chair. ❜

❛ It feels like... I hate saying this. It sounds so fucking cheesy. It feels like making love. ❜

❛ I do have another motive. It's called a paycheck. ❜

❛ For the first time in a long while, I saw how easy it would be for me to fall back into my old life. ❜

❛ I guess this matters to me. So if I talk about it and it goes away, I'm actually losing something. ❜

❛ There must have been a time in your life when you felt powerless. ❜

❛ I'm gonna tell you something that I've never told anyone before. I'm a serial killer. ❜

❛ You're awake. Shall we analyze your dreams? ❜

❛ Trauma can distort the memory. ❜

❛ Well, thanks for the vote of fucking confidence. ❜

❛ Death is the great unifier. ❜

❛ My fingerprints were all over it. I figured it was prudent to get rid of the evidence. ❜

❛ I know I should be sorry that we met under these circumstances, but truthfully, I think it was the best way to get to know you. ❜

❛ My concrete foundation is turning to shifting sand. ❜

❛ Something finally got to you. I guess you're human after all. ❜

❛ You can talk to me, you know? Just got to open your mouth and move it. ❜

❛ I can always see other people's problems more clearly than my own. ❜

❛ What'd the freak do this time, boil your goldfish? ❜

❛ Thanks, but unless you know an expert in repressed memories… ❜

❛ You are all the family that I have, and I barely know you. ❜

❛ How often does someone get a chance to help catch a bad guy, huh? ❜

❛ You've been a problem. It's time for you to go away. ❜

❛ So, this is doom. I've been the architect of so much of it. It's only fair I should know what all the fuss is all about. ❜

❛ Don't you dare! Not in front of my baby! ❜

❛ Close your eyes, _____. ❜

❛ I've never had much use for the concept of hell, but if hell exists, I'm in it. ❜

❛ It climbed inside me that day, and it's been with me ever since -- My dark passenger.

❛ Don't struggle. That never helps. ❜

❛ I'm compressing your carotid artery, and that is cutting off oxygen to your brain. In about 10 seconds, you'll be unconscious. ❜

❛ Does that make you feel anything? Anything at all? ❜

❛ If I'd have known that this would get you back in the same room with me, I would have gotten stabbed sooner. ❜

❛ I put myself out there. I set myself up to get hurt. ❜

❛ No wonder I felt so disconnected my entire life. If I did have emotions, I'd have to feel...this. ❜

❛ You're not a parent. You don't understand. You do anything to protect your kids. ❜

❛ It's who you know and who you blow. ❜

❛ If you came for an apology, you wasted a tank of gas. ❜

❛ I mean, a real hour, not one of your "let's stretch this out till 2:00 a.m. you might as well stay and have sex" hours. ❜

❛ I don't often make mistakes, but when I do, they haunt me. ❜

❛ So desperate to fall in love. ❜

❛ I've lived in darkness a long time. Over the years, my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. ❜

❛ Surprise, motherfucker. ❜

❛ Spin me a story, asshole. ❜

❛ This is not the way I envisioned our family reunion. ❜

❛ You don't ever have to apologize to me. Not for who you are or anything you do. ❜

❛ Imagine how I felt when I tracked you down and found out you were exactly like me. ❜

❛ You can be yourself with me. Your real, genuine self. ❜

❛ You can't be a killer and a hero. It doesn't work that way! ❜

❛ I was so scared. I was so scared. ❜

❛ What am I, one of your victims now? ❜

❛ You should know this isn't easy for me. ❜

❛ You're the only one I ever wanted to set free. ❜

❛ Sorry. I can't hear any more...'cause you're right. ❜

❛ My devil danced with his demon, and the fiddler's tune isn't over. ❜

❛ I wonder what it would be like for everything inside me that's denied and unknown to be revealed. ❜

❛ This is what it must feel like to walk in full sunlight, my darkness revealed, my shadow self embraced. ❜

[love-hatred-stuff]

Title: ᵗʰᵉ ʲᵉᵃˡᵒᵘˢ ᵗʸᵖᵉ} Choi San [ateez]

genre: angst, fluff

warning(s): anger issues, possessiveness, San accidently hurts you(lighlty), a bit suggestive, a lot of swearing

word count: about 2.4k

Y/N's POV:

Me and my friends, Wooyoung, f/n and Seonghwa were in a luxurious club, dancing and having fun all night. While Wooyoung and I were sitting on the red leather couch, the other two were dancing wildly on the dance floor to the loud bass music. It gave me chills and I smiled in Wooyoung's face.

"We should meet some time alone again!" He almost screamed so I could even understand him due the noise around us.

"I'm not sure if San will allow me, but sure! It was a whole torture to persuad him to just let me out with you guys."

I slightly rolled my eyes at the memories of the conversation I had with my boyfriend San about this. It really was so exhausting to talk about something like that with him. He was the jealous, overprotective type and his possessiveness were slowly getting on my nerves.

"I'll have to talk to him." Wooyoung yelled again and smiled a little awkwardly. He was surely very good looking and my guy best friend but sometimes he overdid his confidence. I liked him anyways.

"But then he'll beat you up, you know that?"

I stopped counting how many guys he had defaced because they looked wrong at me or complained about his behavior and how he treats me. It was pointless to even try to stop his anger issues when it's about me.

We started dating almost a year ago and he still had these habits.

"That could possibly happen, good, that I'm a man that has muscles and goes to the gym also." He winked at me while smiling.

He always was the flirty type but I knew he wouldn't dare to do anything I don't want. And I also knew that he loves me but just as a best friend. He's more like a brother than to me a boy I would date.

"Good luck then, Woo. You know San is experienced when it's about beating someone up." I reminded him in a joking way but we knew that I was damn right with this point.

"We will see if I can do anything." He ended this topic.

"Does San know, you're with us at a nightclub?" He mentioned his name again.

"Better, he'll fucking never finds out." I smiled a bit intimidated at the thought of if he'd find out.

"Okay, let's enjoy the rest of your life then. Come and dance." He stood up again and pulled me with him on the dance floor.

I just laughed and did what he said. Therefore I went out with my friends, to have a bit fun again. Not that I wasn't happy in my relationship with San, but he always wanted me for himself and I needed for at least a few hours a break after a long time of avoiding boys all day long.

Now everyone around me was absolutely living for the moment and I missed this feeling so much.

San was also out, but doing business instead of having fun.

After hours passed and it was getting later & later, we were getting more tired each second so we decided to end this beautiful night. F/n and Seonghwa drove home in one taxi as me and Wooyoung did the same.

They weren't actually dating, but I knew f/n had feelings for my good friend Hwa since High School.

The ride didn't take long since we had stayed in town and soon arrived at my apartment. I hugged Wooyoung goodbye and stumbled into the apartment's elevator to reach the right floor faster.

I pressed the button for the fourth floor and after a few seconds and a few more steps, I was able to open my apartment door.

I sighed, so relieved that I could take a quick shower and enjoy my lovely bed. To be honest, I never knew if San was sleeping over or not. I was just guessing in this moment, that he would stay at his apartment tonight and walked into my bathroom, taking off my skater dress.

Before I stepped in the shower I looked in the mirror and noticed that my hair was kind of a mess like my eyeliner was, through all the dancing and stuff. After I separated myself from my underwear I could finally enjoy the warm water hitting my small but feminine body.

I was too exhausted to take a long shower and just washed my body and hair quickly, got dressed in cute panties and one of San's white shirts which went up to the middle of my thighs, covering my breasts that were braless.

I wished just in this moment that he would be here, seeing me like this. He loved me in only wearing his tees and my panties. He would fall all over me right now.

I smiled brightly at my imaginations of my boyfriend living rent free in my head. I was really proud to have him. He was pretty popular and so damn handsome that every girl that hadn't a boyfriend, had from at least a little one to a huge crush on him.

But he picked me, the bookworm, which didn't mean I was automatically good in school. I was okay but nothing more.

My ego was just too big to let anyone of the teachers tell me what to do. Everyone said I was so pretty, I could be a model if I were just a little taller but I also had my failures and insecurities. And that was totally fine because I am just a human too. San taught me how to accept and love myself and I was so thankful for it.

When I wanted to crawl into my comfortable bed, I suddenly noticed a tall figure standing in my bedroom.

"My god San! You wanna kill me here?!" I breathed out heavily as my heart was already racing.

"Where the fuck were you so long?" He asked now with a deep but angered voice. And I didn't miss the anger building up in his eyes.

"Out, you know." I just said and laid on my bed, ready to sleep.

"I know. But you didn't told me you were gonna be out till after midnight!"

My eyes scanned his face, waiting for his next move.

"I told you to not be out late and amuse yourself with boys."

I let out a "Pff" sound and closed my eyes, not wanting to believe what he just said to me.

"Y/N!"

"Yes! I know waht you told me but I wanted to have fun once, without you ruining my night okay?! And I would never "amuse myself" with other boys but you in that way! Now shut up and turn the light off. I'm tired of your shit!" My words came out more harshly than I wanted them to be but I wasn't gonna take it back.

So I just closed my eyes again and covered myself up. But nothing moved or sounded like he would do anything.

"What do you mean by that?" I heard his weak voice speak quietly.

Oh god no. I feared this tone so much.

He was usually more a tough guy who didn't show his emotions much to anyone but me. And most of the time he acted all strong around me too, but sometimes his heart just couldn't handle me if I prevailed with a loud voice and harsh words.

And his wound point was when I would mention anything about a break up, even in the slightest.

"Go to sleep, San." I told him in a rather cold tone.

I wanted to avoid a conversation about this and just fucking rest. I really wasn’t in the mood to stand this right now.

"Not until you tell me." He stayed stubborn.

I sighed and sat up straight so I could look at him again.

"Nothing. I'm tired. Could you?" I was tapping on the empty bedside where he was supposed to sleep. I saw how his blue eyes slowly got teary. Fuck.

"Did you mean you're tired of me?" He asked carefully, trying to hold back his tears.

"Noo... I meant that I don't want to be suppressed by you anymore. You always tell me to stay away from boys and I do. Nothing to worry about, right? So the problem is solved. Now sleep San, please." I begged and patted on the mattress again.

"I just don't want anyone to have you like I do. I thought you wanted to be mine also." He looked down.

"I do all of this because I love you so much that I would die for you. I'll do anything but please tell me you're not going to leave me." He pleaded and a tear escaped his eye.

It was rare that he cried but when he did he was really scared. He was scared that I would leave him.

"No I'm not going to, San..."

"You never call me just San." He looked up again with sad eyes, digging into my aching heart.

I thought I dreamed when I heard him sob so softly that my heart began to ache.

"I'm sorry baby, but I am still a bit mad. But I will never leave you, okay?"

He just hummed and layed down on the bed. I covered him with the blanket and stroked through his soft hair before I leaned back again.

I breathed out at his please and kissed him with a bit more pressure.

"Don't cry. Everything's alright baby." I said in a calming voice and turned the last lamp off.

"I'm sorry Y/N, don't be mad at me, you know I can't stand this." He pleased again, gripping my small waist with his hand and pushing me against his hard body.

"Give me my goodnight kiss." He said and looked at me, perking his lips.

I decided to give him one as a treat and turned around to peck him on his lips.

"I don't like short pecks, you know that Y/N." He frowned immediately.

I sighed out and kissed him again, with a bit more pressure.

"It's fine, for now." He was finally satisfied.

And finally we could fall asleep in each other's embraces and get the rest we deserved.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

San's POV

I woke up next to my princess and instantly had to smile.

She was my everything, I was so lucky to have her in my arms.

When my hands slowly caressed her waist up and down, I noticed that she only was wearing her light pink, favorite panties and a white shirt of mine that had slipped up to her upper buddy.

Her ass pressed against my member and I felt how I hardened at this feeling.

Always when we woke up like this I got a morning boner.

Luckily she helped me most times.

But what about today? We kind of fought yesterday, before we got to bed.

I would like to deny it but I fucking cried because of her words.

It was rare but sometimes when she was mad at me, she said words she didn't really mean and I can't stand it if she mentions something that would lead us to break up eventually.

I wanted to keep her forever. I wanted to marry her one day and spend the rest of my life with her.

I would do absolutely everything to prevent that we had to part. That's why I was pretty possessive and "overprotective" over her.

But it didn't matter to me as long as she didn't have much to do with other boys.

Though she actually hated that. She wanted her freedom.

Although it was important to me that she was happy, I wouldn't stop watching with who she was hanging out with.

She let out a sweet groan at my touch and took my hand on her now naked stomach, signalling me that she was wide awake now.

"You're not mad anymore, are you?" I asked with a husky morning voice.

"I can feel your boner, San." She just ignored my question.

"You are so damn hot babe.. How am I supposed to not have one when your cute ass is pressed against it?"

She giggled cutely. Then she turned around and looked at me with her stunning eyes.

"Just take a shower with me, yeah?" She smiled seductively.

"Everything for you baby." I kissed her cheek.

We stood up together and walked to her bathroom.

•••

"San, why were you so rough?" She asked in a quiet voice as she walked out of her room into the kitchen where I was standing.

"I'm sorry." I replied.

"I'm sorry? That's all?" Now she sounded really sad and looked at me with watery eyes and pouty lips.

But I had my reasons and it wondered me why she didn't know why already.

"Oh, you fucking know. You're mine and I had to show you that. As you always forget about it." I spoke in a monotonous way.

"I like it when you go rough sometimes but not when you start hurting me. You bruised my sides, San. What is wrong with you!?" She whined, now even more upset.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you baby." I stepped towards he and tapped her shoulder in apology.

"It's okay. I will meet up with Wooyoung today." She told me as if it was normal for her to meet up with him.

As if she didn't know that I would freak out at this.

"What the fuck, Y/N!? You will not." I tried to suppress an aggressive tone.

"I'm kidding, San. God, you're so controlling." She rolled her eyes back.

My eyes widened again at her statement.

"You're kidding?" I wanted to make sure, a bit to blended from all this stuff going on to even think straight and be able to follow her words properly.

"Yeah, it was supposed to be my revenge, idiot." She snapped again and walked away.

"Don't call me that!" I told her.

She was never this disrespectful. What the heck was going on?

"Y/N? What is it, huh?" I tried to sound soft but obviously failed.

She breathed out heavily, telling me how annoyed she was by now.

"Either you go and leave me alone or..." She bursted out.

My heart stopped for a moment just to start racing rapidly a second later as I realised what she implied to say.

"Or what?" My voice shivered already.

"Or we take a break." And my heartbeat stopped a second time.

"We just had sex and you're telling me, you wanna take a break?" I asked shocked.

I wished this was just a stupid nightmare of mine, because for me it really was at that point.

"Do you love me, San?" She suddenly wanted to know.

"What? Of course I do! I told you last night."

I was so confused and overwhelmed with this situation, I thought I forgot how to breathe properly.

"Why do you try to control me all the time if you really do?"

"That's the thing Y/N. I do that because I love you too much to let some boy near you." I tried to explain meaningfully.

But she was still quietly standing in front of me.

"I'll let you go with him for two hours, okay?" I thought the best thing to do is to give her what she wanted.

I almost missed that tears rolled down my cheeks. I was so damn emotional when it was about her.

"Please say something, love." I begged. Silence was never a good sign.

"I love you too. But you have to promise to let me go out more often. I don't care if it's with you or with my friends but I want some free time." She finally explained.

In the next second she was in my arms and hugged me tightly.

"I promise, Y/N. I love you."

The picture & gif are not mine, credits to the owners

[weasleysjoke]

Last New Year’s Kiss

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: Seeing Reid in a suit at JJ’s and Will’s wedding makes you act up and tell Spencer your true feelings for him.

Warnings: smut, kinda rough sex (?, penetatrion with protection, oral (m receiving), aftercare

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: As always, a reminder that English is my third language so there might be grammar errors, I try my best.

“Everything is fine. You are having a great time and you are good, Y/N.”

Even the image in the mirror knew I was lying.

If it weren’t for a stupid doctor looking sexy as fuck in a suit, nothing bad would had happened. But Reid just had to mess up with me, hadn’t he?

There were too many things leading up to this, but it didn’t make him less guilty.

For starters, I was sexually frustrated.

My job is complicated on his own and when I was home, I didn’t feel like going out to get a new hook up or whatever. I was always tired, and relationships are difficult to maintain while you are travelling all over the country. My calculations told me that I hadn’t had any type of sexual contact with another human in 3 months, last New Year’s Eve.

That leads us to the second reason that drove me mad. New Year’s Eve.

Flashback: New Year’s Eve

Spencer and I had always had a flirtatious relationship. Well, I flirted with him and made him constantly blush. He seemed so innocent and I loved that.

Everybody in the team teased us because of our weird dynamic. Derek and Emily always joked around about how we had to have sex and end the sexual tension once and for all.

So, New Year’s arrived, and we all went to Rossi’s mansion to celebrate, even JJ and Hotch left their kids with a nanny and joined us.

I was on my second cocktail with Emily at the backyard when Derek came back of God knows where with Spencer by his side. Spencer looked extra shy that night, maybe because he wasn’t comfortable in this type of environment, so I decided to make conversation with him.

“Hey, Spence. Come sit by my side, I will make you one of my special cocktails.” I wiggled my eyebrows and got to make him laugh and relax a little.

“How about we play some sexy games?” Derek shouted like he was a frat guy and made me cringe.

After some drinking games, the hot questions started to get hotter than ever.

“I have never had a threesome.”

Emily and I looked at each other and toke a shot.

“What was that?” Penelope asked looking accusingly to us both.

“What was what?” I responded innocently.

“I have no idea what she’s trying to say. And you, Y/N?” Emily followed me.

“No idea at all.”

“Don’t tell me you two had a threesome without me!” Derek pretended to be mad.

“We didn’t say anything…” I winked at him.

Spencer tensed by myside.

“I have never had a crush on someone on this team.” Derek seemed to direct this one towards me and I flipped him off.

Spencer and I were the only ones who took a shot. Our eyes met each other, he looked down immediately nervously.

Did he…?

“Well, I think I am going to leave you kids have fun on your own.” Rossi laughed and left towards his house. Hotch and JJ with Will left to pick up their kids.

Derek and Emily looked suspicious planning something in whispers and when Emily saw me looking at her she just winked at me.

“Ok, truth or dare, Y/N?” Morgan turned towards me.

“Are we college kids now?” I arched an eyebrow.

“Answer.”

“Truth.”

“Tell us your crush.” He smirked.

“Dare.” I answered.

I fucking hate them for doing this.

“I dare you to kiss your crush.”

“The way I hate you all so much right now.” I toke a shot and turned to look at Reid. “Fuck it.”

“Wha-?”

I crushed my lips against his closing my eyes to not see his reaction. After a few seconds not feeling his response, his lips started to follow mine making me feel more confident in what I was doing. As he opened a bit his mouth, I toke the chance to enter my tongue.

Holy fuck.

His tongue against mine felt so fucking magical and I couldn’t stop a moan from scaping.

The moment ended when we heard Morgan, Penelope and Emily cheering us up.

Spencer separated from me with his cheeks full of color and toke a lock of my hair behind my ear. “You are so drunk, Y/N. You are going to regret this tomorrow morning.”

End of the flashback.

We didn’t speak about that kiss ever again.

Of course I regretted that kiss.

I regretted it because I couldn’t stop myself from staring at his lips every time he started talking.

I regretted it because I couldn’t help but to touch myself while thinking of his tongue inside my mouth.

I regretted it because it made me realize that anything happening to us was impossible. He would have talk to me about it if he wanted to do it again but instead he ignored me the few days after and acted as if nothing had happened.

All of that leads us to the big reason of why I am standing in front of a mirror, looking at myself in one of the bathrooms in Rossi’s home.

We all had been called by Rossi after a stressful case telling us that Jennifer and Will were getting married at his house and that it was a surprise for JJ. Everybody had to be formally dressed and it’s known that I’ve only seen Spence on a suit once before at an FBI event.

So, here I am.

After the wedding, everybody was having dinner, but I couldn’t be there. Not with Spencer sitting in front of me and giving me looks. He was just there looking all hot, rambling stuff about weddings and licking his lips like he always did, looking straight to my eyes.

I wondered if he did all that on purpose. He must know how good he looks.

Obviously, everything started to be overwhelming, so I had to excuse myself and go to the bathroom.

A knock on the door woke me up from my thoughts.

“Y/N, are you ok?”

Of course, it had to be him.

“Emily told me to come check on you. She said you were distracted the whole night and that you needed me to talk to you, what is this about?”

Of course, she fucking said that. Kill me now.

“Open the door, please.” Reid said with exasperation in his voice.

I sighed and opened the door. “Hey.”

He looked like his brain was going to explode of confusion. “What’s going on, Y/N?”

“I just feel weird today, sorry.” I responded avoiding his brown eyes.

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” He grabbed my chin and made me look straight to his face. “I thought we were friends; you can tell me everything.”

He sounded so worried.

I sighed again. “Spence…”

His hands fell from my face. “What?”

“I like you. Like, REALLY like you. More than friends - kind of like you.”

His eyes opened at its fullest.

His body didn’t make a move.

His mouth didn’t make a noise.

“It’s alright, Reid. I- I just hope this doesn’t change anything.” As I give him a sideway smile, I leave him there and go back downstairs.

I arrive to Rossi’s backyard and saw everybody dancing to the soft music and laughing. Emily saw me and came towards me.

“Hey, why such a long face honey? I thought I would have solved your Doctor trouble.” She smirked but it slowly faded as she saw I wasn’t returning a smile. “What happened up there?”

“I told him I like him more than friends.”

“That’s great, Y/N! Why the fuck aren’t you hooking up with him right now then?”

“He doesn’t like me back, Emily.” I look up to the sky to try dry the tears that were forming in my eyes.

“Y/N! That ain’t true. He always talks to Morgan about how much he wants you. And everybody sees the looks he gives you when you do literally anything.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “That just doesn’t make any sense.”

I watch as Spencer goes straight to Morgan and starts discussing something with him. He seems frustrated.

“What did he say? His exact words.” She asked.

I keep looking at the discussion happening a few feet away.

“He didn’t say anything.” Spencer looked at our way and his eyes stayed fixed on mine. He was talking about me with Derek, I know it. “He just stood there in shock.”

Derek pushed Spencer and he started walking towards me.

“Do you mind dancing with me for a bit?” He said offering a hand and I just stood there looking at him. “Please?”

“Sure.”

I toke his hand and we started dancing.

“Y/N, I haven’t stopped thinking about that motherfucking kiss since New Year’s Eve.” My heart skipped a beat at his words. “I have liked you since you started working at the bureau.” He continued, “You are stunning and that fucking kiss. Derek and Emily haven’t stop telling me how I had to make a move, but you never brought what happened up, so I just thought-.”

“You thought what, Doctor?” I smirked.

His grip on my waist tensed. “I thought that you didn’t like it.”

“Fuck, Reid. You are so damn dumb sometimes. I was the one that threw themselves to you. I was the one that kissed you. I had to touch myself so many times after your ramblings because you didn’t stop licking your lips.”

He smirked. “You had to touch yourself?”

“Fuck yeah, Reid. I hate you so much.”

“How about we go to my apartment and show me how you touched yourself?”

I wetted my panties right there.

I toke a deep breathe. “Let’s go.”

After a few goodbyes and a ‘get it girl’ from Penelope and Emily, Spence and I leave in his car. I could get mine tomorrow.

“You look fucking delicious, Y/N.” I blushed at his compliment.

I almost never wore dresses, but this was an special occasion. I was wearing a little black dress that hung in all my curves and revealed a little too much of my back.

His hand found my thigh and he started making circles with his thumb.

“If you look this delicious in it, I wonder how you will look with nothing on. Fuck, I am getting hard just thinking about it.”

“Spence, shut the fuck up or I’m going to make you pull over right here and make you fuck me in the car.”

He smirked at me and turned to look straight ahead. “Just a few more minutes, baby.”

We managed to arrive to his apartment building and when the elevator door shuttered, he pinned me to a wall. We started to hungrily kiss each other and a moan left my lips.

“It’s so much better than I remembered.” I said.

“Mhmm.” He agreed without leaving my mouth alone.

The door of the elevator ringed, letting us know that it was opening, and we proceeded to walk rapidly towards his door. He opened it quickly and turned to face me.

“Jump.”

I didn’t hesitate for a second and jumped. He grabbed the back of my thighs and I embraced his neck with my arms loosely. He closed the door with his foot and walked to his bedroom, all while his tongue was still inside my mouth. When we arrived to the end of his bed, he sat me down on it and grabbed a handful of my hair making me moan and look straight to his face.

“Now, I want you to put on good use that fucking mouth of yours.”

I moaned again.

Fuck, he knows how to use his words on the sheets too. I am so wet right now.

I unzipped his pants and toke his boxers with it, his hard on full on display in front of my eyes. I couldn’t help but open my mouth and go for it, I wanted it so bad.

I started licking his length and circling my tongue around the top of his cock making him groan. His hand pulled my hair harder and a sound escaped my mouth. I bopped my head with my hand helping me to reach the base of his dick. As I continued doing movements with my hand, I sucked his balls making him moan outloud.

“Fucking hell, Y/N. Stop.”

I stopped. “You don’t like it?” I looked at him innocently.

“You know what you were doing, little girl, but now we have to get you started.”

He started stripping me off my clothes, first my top and bra. After sucking my tits, he went for the pants and panties, leaving me completely naked, laying on his bed.

He stood in front of me contemplating me like I was a piece of art.

“You are breathtaking, little girl.”

He sat on the bed, next to me, and pinched one of my nipples with two fingers.

“Now, I want you to show me how you been touching yourself thinking about me. If you are a good girl I may come and help you out.”

I felt really self-conscious, I’ve never done anything like this before. He felt that I was unsure, and he started stroking my thigh with one hand.

“You should never feel ashamed in front of me, Y/N.” He smiled sweetly. I sighed and smiled back.

I started to imagine his hands all over my body as I dragged mine to my stomach, travelling down slowly. As I reached my core, I started drawing circles around my clitoris making me moan imagining his long fingers in me. I inserted two fingers inside of me.

“Look me in the eyes, little girl.”

“Spence… I need you.” I started moving my fingers quicker.

“What do you want, baby?”

“Your cock, Reid, please.” I whined.

He straddled me and his lips attacked mine again. He dragged his tongue on my bottom lip and I opened my mouth granting him full access. He reached to his night table and grabbed a condom from the first drawer.

“Spencer, I need-.” I couldn’t finish because the full length of his cock was inside me. “Holy fuck.”

“Shit, Y/N.” He groaned. “You are so fucking wet, I slipped so easily.”

I moaned and a rough rhythm was settled. His hand went to my clitoris and started stroking it.

“I’m not gonna last long, baby.”

One second after, he left fully my body and grabbed my waist.

“What are you doing…?” I asked confusedly but with one movement he turned my body making me lay on my stomach. A ‘fuck’ left my lips.

He grabbed my waist and I arched my back giving him an easy access. He slapped my ass and inserted his cock at its full inside of me.

“Spencer!”

He continued roughly and slapped my ass again. My walls clenched as I reached my high making me follow just right after. He groaned while I screamed his name one last time. He left all his weight on me tiredly.

After a few seconds, he abandoned me and went to his bathroom. He appeared again with a towel and helped me get cleaned.

“Are you good?” He asked sweetly.

“Hell yes, Spencer. Don’t go all shy on me again, I know the real you now.” I smirked and he laughed.

“And you seemed to enjoy it.” He arched an eyebrow.

“I really enjoyed it. Fuck, that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

He smiled proudly and kissed my lips. I couldn’t stop a yawn from leaving my mouth and he laughed separating from me.

“Let’s get some sleep, little girl. Tomorrow I will be taking you on a date.”

I kissed him again and turned to sleep. He cuddled me and hold me tightly.

“I ain’t going to leave if you that’s what you fear. I am all yours, Spencer.”

“Good, because I’m not letting you leave my side ever.”