#no but. the. the inherit. romanticism and the. the love and the. understanding. the closeness the care the

[appreciatingtokrev]

the inherit romanticism of being a star in the same star system as someone you love. orbiting each other for billions of years, until one of you explodes. so close to each other, and yet so far, never touching. but maybe it’s enough. maybe it’s enough that you know each other, see each other all the time. that you can dance in your orbits for what seems like infinity. together. and you know what? you’re so far away from earth that you appear to be just one star, one bright little dot in the otherwise dark night sky to the naked human eye. your love for each other is so great that you can only be told apart if viewed through a microscope. and so you continue to orbit each other, so close and full of love and understanding and care as if you were one, circling and circling until the inevitable explosion after burning out finally reaches one of you, and you die.

[siriusblackdevotee]

Ranting about Romantic Prongsfoot or Prongsfoot in general??

I saw someone post saying romantic Prongsfoot is basically incest. I sighed then scrolled. Was that so hard? Seeing an opinion you don't like, and then just moving on? Because that's exactly what romantic Prongsfoot is, an opinion.

The fandom analyzed canon Sirius's behavior, actions and dialogue when it involved James and we all pretty much came to the conclusion that Sirius's entire world revolved around James. Like a dog, a man's best friend, he was incredibly loyal and devoted to James.

Then, some of us decided to take a step further and made them soulmates in a platonic sense. Not best friends, brothers, but soulmates. Like we're talking Viktor and Jayce level.

That's like the one thing wolfstar, Jegulus and Prongsfoot shippers have in common; James and Sirius are soulmates. Or even something deeper if you want to take a step further. All the famous fanfics have this, where James and Sirius have Something between them, even if it's a Jegulus or wolfstar fanfic.

That's why some of you feel like romantic Prongsfoot is incest. Because most fanfics have written them as brothers, you're reading two characters that are portrayed as brothers so often, you start to perceive them as brothers. You think they're brothers.

And you're allowed to! No like, you're very allowed to. Can I emphasize again, how often fanfics portray them as brothers? Like genuinely, no one's stopping you.

But you have to understand, that's your perspective, your view, your opinion. It's not a fact because they are not brothers. They are close as brothers yes, but not actually.

They don't have a ragbros situation. Sirius wasn't adopted into the Potter family at 8 or something and then raised by them after. That's probably incest. I have an adopted brother, I do know.

He was adopted into the family at 16. You're considered an adult at 18 in the wizarding world. He had inheritance from his uncle Alphard. It's said he moved out on his own later.

All this implies Sirius didn't live that long with Potters. I'm not saying Sirius didn't develop a familial bond with the Potters because he was too old during the adoption. He probably did see Euphimia and Monty as his parents at some point.

But he was James' best friend so much longer than their son. A couple of limited years with the Potters is nothing compared to the 5+ years he spent being James' best friend. I say limited because he keeps being that best friend even after he moved out.

That bond, if you want, can be solidified into something sibling-level after the adoption. You can have your headcanons, fantasies and fanfics where Sirius runs away to a healthier, welcoming family!!

But I don't think their bond could just change like that?? Again, around 5+ years of having this special connection, where they are used to living together, sharing the same space, being glued to each other, why would being adopted into the family change anything between them?? Besides like, getting yelled at together by James' parents, their routine would have stayed the same.

And you're telling me I CANT romanticize that?? Because YOU see them as brothers??? When they're so much deeper than that???

Would it not have solidified it more?? Would it not have gotten deeper?? Especially when they have privacy now.

Like you can't tell me they weren't having conversations where they bared their souls to each other, diving in and revealing the ugliest parts to each other, deepest fears, insecurities, quite literally breaking themselves down into pieces because it's just them there and then putting those pieces back together, glued with loving words and gentle touches because it's them. Or fucking. Up to y'all idk.

I'm going off the rails. The point is, you can dislike, like, hate, love ships for whatever reasons, I genuinely don't care. But if you're hating on a ship because you FEEL like it's incest, please just keep it to yourself. No one wants to be told their favorite ship reminds you of incest.

Again, tagging filters exist, I don't consider prongsfoot a rarepair but it's true people rarely write them. You literally cannot accidentally stumble upon prongsfoot fanfics and literally no one's forcing you to read them??

Prongsfoot is like the least problematic thing in this fandom?? And its barely problematic!! People ship ACTUAL incest!! Like starcest!! (...good for them but also like...)

calling prongsfoot incest when actual incest ships exists is insane.

[satorugojowidow]

Jujutsu Kaisen ep 149 spoilers, analysis and maybe theories about what Gege is doing

In my opinion it wasn't a romantic kiss, was a CPR. She was unconscious and the kiss came after Mao hited her chest. Is a CPR move to me.

About incest in Jujutsu Kaisen

First i will like bring this post wich im agree with it. Write about incest or abuse is not wrong. What is wrong is romanticize. In my perspective incest is not romanticize in JJK.

Mei and Ui: Mei character is built as someone who has no values or etic at the point where she doesnt even understand it. She even says to Satoru that she does not understand any issue not related to money. She is also potrayed like someone who only cares for herself and we saw that when she ask Ui to sacrifice for her and quickly left Japan in Shibuya incident leaving everyone behind and taking only the money with her (and Ui who is more like a tool to her). It is clear that she has an abusive relationship with his brother. Ui is potrayed like someone who is absolute caught in Mei web. I think there is an effort to show this relantionship like something twisted, abusive and sick. So its clear to me that there is no intention from Gege to romanticize it.

Maki and Mai: first i have to say that kiss looked more like a CPR than a romantic kiss. But i going for the way where this kiss is a romantic kiss to express my point. If there is a romantic feeling between this two (wich i believe not), we have to understand it in the context of their shitty family. There is high chances that cousin x cousin marriage is happening inside the clan. This interfamily marriage are common in clans, dynasty, etc., to protect to blood line and all that shit. Main clans in Jujutsu society are very interested in keep their inherited technique so nobody would be surprised that they practice this type of incestuos marriage. The fact that they look alike so much in Zenin clan could point to this. So Maki and Mai grow up in a context where incest happen. Also the amount of physical and mental abuse in them and the fact that they only have each other to gain support could make this incest feeling possible. As they didn't grow up in a healthy environment and didn't have anyone to teach them about healthy feelings or even love in any form (their mother is totally caught in patriarchy). Again, there is an effort to show that all the problems that Toji, Maki and Mai have are because their shitty family. If incest is happening here is becaue this two girls never learned how to love in a healty way and they are confussed about their feelings. If May really kissed Maki is more like she doesnt know how to express herself because she grow up in abuse and there is no single healthy relationship in her family to look up.

Conclusion: incest is not romanticize in JJK. Maybe need to be portrayed more like a "trouble", maybe. But i think is enough portrayed like a trouble.

Mai's death: I know everyone is hurted because her death. But, lets be honest. We could see that comming. I predicted in my JJK Oracle serie but is not like im super smart or anything, is something we could see comming from how JJK story is build and the meaning of pass deaths in the manga.

"Mai deserve better": of course she did. But I dont think this story is about give what people deserve, is not about make justice for them. Real life and real world is extremly unfair. A story with any kind verisimilitude would potray unjustice.

"Gege is killing all his characters": In the same line of verisimilitude if some big events happen like shibuya incident we can not expect that everyone comeback alive. If all characters always comeback is more like a plot armor.

"Pointless dead" "Mai's arc wasted": All dead in JJK until now have a meaning and Mai's arc was this one from the start. Let try to figure out this.

In the story Maki is the main character, Mai (sorry to say) was auxiliary to her story. Mai is presented to develoment Maki story. To go deep in the patriarchal structures of Jujutsu world and to present the shitty dinamic of the Zenin clan from inside. Mai personal develoment was to understand that Maki actions wasnt the problem, but her all family itself. When the break point comes (Ougi desition to kill both) she realize that live peacefull in the clan dont depends on her obedience, it dependence in what the clan need from her from a moment to other. That there is no way to live peacefully in such an environment. That is when she can finally understand her sister action, reconcile with it and her, and support her sister road. Sadly she can only support with her death. But she doesnt die like subordinate person (like she was in pass episode or like her mother is) she die free, she is not simply killed, she gives her life in order to save her sister and destroy the clan. She emancipates at the end. Of course is sad that she has to die, but again, life is unfair and this story is not about make justice.

In jujutsu kaisen "death" works to build the living characters that go trought that lost.

Suguru -> Satoru

Junpei and Nanami -> Yuuji

Also, it establishes the situation where the characters are. Like Yaga's death wich leave the students in their own.

"Kill another female strong character": Well, i go for this one. There is no much female strong characters so Gege do something for gender equality and stop killing them.

-------------------

In my opinion, and this is in some way a theory, what Gege is trying to do is reverse the typical shonen story.

He brought the typical elements from a shonen: a regular boy who discover that he is not so regular, lots of fights, power up, and even some kind of tournament (just to name a few one).

But at the same time Gege is slowly deconstructing the elements of shonen genre:

The hero is the strongest character and save everyones. We have Satoru is the strongest character and he fails to save people at the point when he realize that "save" dont depends on him. That is why he goes for the teaching/supporting role. Help others to save themselves. However situations keeps going in a way where he losses his closes people and he cant do anything to stop that.

So we can say this: in JJK heros cant save others.

In regular shonen the social structures are never questioned. In JJK we can see how those structures are the villain. We have the conservative structures of jujutsu society wich higher up keep against everything because their privilege depends on it. And the patriarcal structures. Even if JJK is stil away from being "feminist" is one step in the right direction from most regular shonen. Specially those shonen where the main female character is there just to be cute and she cant even speak her mind

We all feel like fell in some kind of trap in JJK. Because in firsts episodes we were like "oh, how cute and fun. look there is a speaking panda" and then we fell in angst. I think this is part of how Gege builds the story to reverse the genre.

Dont expect a happy ending, expect a end with meaning. Dont expect to see your fav getting what they deserve, expect to understand why they went through that.

And remember one thing: Yuuji death is not in discussion in the plot, what is in discussion is how he is going to live what he has left of live.

[allthebest20]

Butter Honey Pig Bread by Francesca Ekwuyasi

8/10.  A joy to read and a great debut novel. I think the author has even better work ahead of her.  The characters are complex and unique, and the book explores modernity, pain, and generational spirituality in a very readable style.  I couldn’t help but make assumptions about the author as I read the book: definitely Nigerian, definitely a cook, definitely spent time in London and Canada, definitely queer, definitely raised in the Church, but also definitely spiritual.  The authenticity with which she writes, especially in regards to being queer in the modern world and the cultures of different places, is what makes this book great.  The story dances between the gruesome details of reality in the twenty-first century and romanticized views of youth and love. It raises a lot of questions in me about the international class system, wealth, and privilege.  

The only real complaint that I have is around one of the main plot points: the rape of Kehinde when she is 12.  While this is a turning point in all their lives, I feel as though it is also simultaneously underappreciated, as if the author choose this event simply because it was one of the worst things she could think of.  I think this is a common pit fall for authors.  A lot of traumatic things happen to this family: Kambi, the mother, is very mental ill, Banji, the twin’s beloved father, is murdered, Taiye, the queer twin, struggles with her own mental health.  Yet, the rape is regarded as the primary Bad Thing and all the other traumatic events are hardly discussed.  I appreciate how the author takes some time, maybe 1 chapter, to discuss Kehinde’s relationship to sex and her body.  Yet, Kehinde’s life seems to be mostly unaffected by this event, except in the way she punishes her family with her silence.  She is in a healthy relationship.  She does not abuse alcohol or drugs.  She has a successful career.  Ultimately, it’s not a book about overcoming childhood sexual abuse.  It’s a book about mending a family after years of pain, resentment, distance, and silence.  I almost feel as though the book could have been stronger if it focused more on the effects of Banji’s death and Kambi’s violence and depression on the twins.  Ultimately, though, sexual abuse is just a thing that happens to a lot of kids, and perhaps it serves a purpose to write a book where it happens, it’s horrible, but it doesn’t need to be put under a magnifying glass.  It just reverberates.

This book could have been about a lot of things.  When I picked it off the shelf at the library, I barely read the entire description, immediately caught by the spiritual nature of Kambi’s being and the brief mention of “reckless hedonism.”  I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Taiye was a lesbian, and I saw a lot of myself in her: the serial string of intense relationships, always slated to go nowhere, the indulgence in food and weed and dancing and occasionally other drugs, the loneliness and missing family but not being able to connect with them, the exploration of religion and spirituality and non-monogamy, seeing and feeling things you don’t know are real.  I feel like a lot of modern young adults live like Taiye does, unsure what to look for except comfort.  I love how the author mentioned the chaotic draw of dating apps.  I love how Taiye is a stoner.  I love how Taiye loves organic butter and fair trade chocolate and cooking extravagant meals for anyone who will eat it.  I LOVE how the author includes recipes for what Taiye is cooking.  Although I probably won’t use those recipes, I did want to cook what Taiye was cooking, and it reads just like my brain reads when I am absorbed in a culinary project.  This book could have been more about what it means to be a lesbian, but it only barely describes her formative romantic and sexual experiences.  The author details the first time Taiye calls her self gay out loud and has queer sex, but this is long after she has had gay feelings and gay experiences.  The author does not explore Taiye’s inner turmoil, and it is unclear if Taiye struggles at all with her sexuality in the long term.

I also like how the book explores mental illness.  It doesn’t shy away from both the good and the bad parts.  It doesn’t shame medication use.  It explores the spiritual powers of those who’s brains work differently.  Kambi’s voice explores suicide in an interesting way: both from the frequent pull of the voices, asking Kambi to escape the pain of living, and Kambi’s own knowledge that she wants to remain here with her family.  Although I have perhaps 0 hard examples of mental illness being spiritual, I still want to believe that those who hear voices, who see things, who feel things, are connected to the spiritual in a way that those who live entirely in reality are not.  This book explores one such case.  I also found it interesting how Taiye inherits some of Kambi’s crazy (struggles to speak as a young child, depressed, sleep walks) and some of Kambi’s magic (draws people to her, sees and hears beyond).  This make Taiye feel closer to her mom as she ages, while Kehinde remains unsure.  This book could have been more about generational mental illness and the pain and distance it causes, but instead the author focuses on the magic of it all.  It asks, quietly, if the girls should be mad at their mother, can they be mad at her?  From the outside, Kehinde knows that Kambi is respoinsible for the scar on Taiye’s face, but yet we, the audience, know that Kambi had to do this to prevent Taiye from killing the rapist, Uncle Earnest.  Does Kehinde know this?  How can she understand?  In a family, we have no choice but to forgive and let live if we cannot understand, or else remain alienated.  This is the underlying message of the book.

The book has a complicated timeline: the main story line follows the events of a six month period in which the three main characters are united again in Lagos, after over a decade apart.  Slowly, in tangents, the three characters’ backstory is explained.

The book features a few key locations:

Nigeria (specifically Abeokuta, where Kambirinachi is born, Ife, where she spends her youth, and Lagos, where she raises her family),

London (where the twins were born and where Taiye lived for 9 years during and after university),

and Canada (Kehinde lives in Montreal since attending university there and Taiye lives in Halifax after London). 

I’ve never been to Nigeria or London, but I love the way the author writes the dialogue and the characters from each place.  I cannot say if they are accurate, but they have a clear and unique voice, not homogeneous but also representative of those place-based qualities that unite an area.  The characters give me a glimpse into what it feels like to be Nigerian abroad vs. Nigerian at home.  She rarely writes about interpersonal incidents of racism: the characters are mostly well liked, treated nicely by the people in their life, given opportunities.  I think that contributes to the feeling of romanticism in the story.  Racism is discussed on a more systematic level: they have problems at the airport, Taiye learns about the history of racism in Canada. As someone who has been to Canada, knows about the history of Canada, and lives very close to Canada, I enjoyed hearing about Taiye learning about Canada’s dark side, something that is so rarely discussed by the general public.  However, for those of us who are interested, the evidence is everywhere.  The history is just waiting to be explored by anyone who is interested in looking just slightly beyond the state-issued textbooks.  I thought the way the author wrote about Canada was really authentic, which convinces me that the way she writes about London and Nigeria must also be accurate.  What it must be like to be Ekwuyasi, so intimately familiar with places so far apart.

There was one line in the book that really stuck with me: as Taiye is traveling home, she passes through the busy streets of Lagos, crowded with street children, and she is reminded of her privilege in a very visual way, something she doesn’t get in Canada or London.  This is the view the West wants us to have of Africa: a whole continent made of dirty huts and begging children on busy urban roads.  Yes, poverty looks different in Nigeria than it does in Canada, but that doesn’t mean that everyone in Nigeria is somehow poorer.  In fact, this family has a beautiful compound and a trust fund.  Despite having a trust fund, Taiye still makes decisions on a strict budget and denies herself luxuries to save money, the way I do.  I don’t really know a lot of people with trust funds, so I can’t tell if this is an international thing or if there are American kids who act like this.  It kind of annoyed me when Taiye wrote to the culinary program saying she didn’t have enough to pay for the program, when in reality she just didn’t want to dip into her trust fund.  I don’t know if there were limited spots/funds available for people who couldn’t afford to pay full price, but I hate when rich people forget what it means to actually not have money.  Being cheap and being poor are two different things, often way more opposing than people think.  Rich people are often the ones who know how to exploit the system to get what they want for less, while the poor are left with less connections and less time to work it.

Still, I refrain from delivering too harsh judgement on Taiye. I do not know the size of the trust fund.  I know their family home was a gift, so perhaps the fund is to be saved for medical emergencies and property taxes.  I’m not sure how insurance or taxes work in Nigeria, although I know the government is very unstable.  How did they pay for international university?  Did that come from the trust fund?  The whole plot line has me thinking a lot about wealth and class on  an international level.  While I grew up comfortably, I often felt like my family was poor because of how rich everyone in our town was.  I wonder what it would have been like to grow up in a compound and see homeless children often, but also ingest international media that cast your entire country as poor and to know your government is unstable.

All in all, the book touches on many of the central issues of modern life  While it only brushes the surfaces of these topics, it had me thinking for days and wanting to know more.  Perhaps I will search out an some Nigerian autobiographies / memoirs in the future.

[pollyestergivens]

Peril in Pemberley: A Charming (Yet Frustrating) ND-Like Game

I played the Miss Clue game Peril in Pemberley, and it definitely scratched the old-school ND game itch for me--as well as reopened some old adventure game wounds.

I’ll say up upfront that this is definitely a niche game. If you’re not a fan of period pieces and cannot tolerate a plot with a slower pace, PIP is not the game for you. However, if you’re a Jane Austen fan or even enjoyed the show Downton Abbey, I recommend giving this game a try, even with all its unfortunate flaws.

Wall-of-text (plus pictures!) below:

A beautiful, believable game world

Peril in Pemberley is a lovely game. Are the graphics on the cutting edge of modern technology? No, but they are more than comparable to some of my favorite ND games. The characters are certainly robotic at times, but the environments are where the game really shines. Whether you’re exploring the decadent mansion or riding through the nearby forest, the game looks and feels cohesive.

Though ND games have had varying degrees of success with outdoor environments, the forest and estate of Pemberley actually feel convincing, as if there is no discernible “wall” around the game world. This, coupled with the reveal of more locations as the game progresses, really helps to make the experience immersive, as does the massive attention to detail within the mansion itself.

A lot of research definitely went into creating Pemberley, and it shows. There are tons of intricate embellishments, plenty of period paintings to gawk at, and lots of ground to cover. It really does feel like a large country house, sequestered away from the world in its own little piece of paradise.

The soundtrack features an array of classical music, which helps set the mood, though it could have benefited from some moments of silence rather than endlessly looping each area’s track.

In a lot of ways, this game succeeds at making the player feel like a young aristocratic lady, just going about her usual day while also solving a mystery. Ringing for your maid, having breakfast in bed, doing lessons from your governess, composing letters--these activities are the set dressing for the romantic mystery that unfolds and are precisely why those who do not appreciate period pieces will likely find PIP tremendously dull.

However, for people like me (you don’t want to know how many times I’ve watched Downton Abbey), I thoroughly enjoyed this bit of role-play. Had this game come out when I was 12 or 13, I’m certain it would have been an instant favorite. Riding around on your very own horse & solving a mystery about dashing highwaymen? Yeah, that was basically my childhood fantasy, and it was a joy to step into that little dream world.

Charmingly Terrible Voice Acting

Let’s just go ahead and say it: the voice acting in this game is not the best. Line delivery is sometimes robotic or just straight up odd, and the accents are...questionable. But strangely enough, I actually found this charming. It felt as if a bunch of friends and I were all pretending to be lords and ladies, which--in a very real sense--is what the game actually is: a way for modern fans to visit Jane Austen’s world.

Of course, your mileage may vary significantly on this point. However, I really wouldn’t discount the game on the merits of its voice acting alone, as other aspects of the experience are immersive enough to distract from this issue.

Realistic to a fault

As I inspected objects, explored new locations, and accepted tasks from various characters, I kept expecting to be hit with a slider puzzle or egregious mini-game, yet they never appeared. After the barrage of mini-games in the latest ND games (minus MID), I found this tremendously refreshing.

While some tasks may have been clunky in their implementation, I found many to be rather creative. The player is asked to pay close attention to detail, recall previous knowledge, use logic, and sometimes act fast. The choice to keep Jane’s tasks largely realistic helps to maintain the sense of immersion they were clearly trying to cultivate.

The story itself, of course, is a romanticized mystery surrounding gentlemen bandits, star-crossed lovers, and huge inheritances, but even here only minimal suspension of disbelief is required. The clues are well thought out, and there’s definitely a sense of having pieced together the truth at the end.

However, the game developers decided to omit something that actually ended up destroying my sense of immersion: an in-game hint system. I’ll admit that I’ve often laughed at the hints given by Bess or George in many of the ND games--since they magically seem to know exactly what you need to do next--but having them to call when you get hopelessly stuck is a great way to keep the player engaged (and also a great way to avoid the type of hint system used in the newer ND games). Anytime the player has to exit the game to visit a message board or consult a walkthrough, immersion is hopelessly broken--and I lost count of the times I had to exit PIP.

Sometimes, Jane would let you know what needed to be done next, but often times I found myself missing vital clues or aimlessly going through the motions of Jane’s day, hoping the next part of the story would somehow be triggered. Some players may enjoy this lack of hand-holding, but I found it to be frustrating more often than not.

Perhaps they weren’t sure how to implement a Bess & George type of hint system given the time period, but even something as simple as Jane keeping a diary would have helped tremendously. Unfortunately, these omissions only amplified some relatively minor gripes I had about the game engine/interface itself. 

Familiar interface, frustrating flaws

Any ND game fan will be right at hope with the Miss Clue game engine. It’s essentially an exact copy of the old HER engine, yet somehow a bit clunkier. For example, there is a fade effect each time you click, which I could have done without. I prefer the quick, snappy transitions of HER’s engine, but I could have easily overlooked this if the hint system issue had been addressed.

Instead, I was doomed to copious amounts of dreaded backtracking, made even slower by those fading transitions. And in a game world as large as the one in PIP, that’s A LOT of clicking around, even with their “Warp mode” enabled (which lets you travel somewhat faster).

Probably the most agonizing bit of backtracking was having to go allllll the way back to Jane’s room in order to summon your horse. In order to leave the estate, you have to go upstairs to Jane’s room, ring for the maid, request your horse, then go alllll the way back downstairs, outside through the courtyard, and then mount your horse. Is it more realistic to do it this way? Sure. But when you’re doing quite a bit of aimless wandering, this routine gets old pretty quick.

I definitely understand their choice not to implement a jump map for this game, but if there’s not going to be a hint system or some mechanism to keep you on track, I think being able to “teleport” to key locations--even just to Jane’s room--would have eased my frustration considerably.

The other interface issue was the hot-spot indicator. Just like ND, It’s a magnifying glass that turns red when you can click on something, but sometimes I couldn’t even tell it was red! This led to me missing several areas of interest and could have been easily remedied by making the red outline thicker.

All in all--give it a go

Again, if you’re not into period pieces, look elsewhere for your ND fix. But if you think you can handle the issues outlined above, I think you ought to give this game a try. It’s a fun, interesting mystery that sometimes even feels like a classic ND game, which I have sorely missed. Additionally, they seem to have a new Miss Clue game coming out around Christmas, so in this brave new world of life-after-MID, that’s a little something to look forward to.

[classpect-crew]

I dont really know if you are closing askboxes or something like that... But if not, how about a Heir of Doom!

Thanks for your question, Anon! Sorry it’s taken me so long to get to these. I actually have about 204 asks in my inbox right now! I’ve decided not to close my askbox at any point, though, because I tend to answer asks as I see fit when I have the energy, rather than answering them chronologically, if that makes sense. Sometimes I’ll use a random number generator to be a bit more fair to those who sent in asks a long time ago. Also, I finally got a new computer keyboard, so I can type ‘s’ again! (Long story short, my ‘s’ key broke a good while ago.) With all of that said, let’s get into the Heir of Doom!

Now, we already have a canon Heir of Doom to look at: Mituna Captor. What we don’t have, though, is a detailed view of what he was like before his ultimate sacrifice, so a lot of this will be personal speculation. Doom, as we know, is an Aspect of rules, systems, and great power at the cost of incredible personal sacrifice. While this certainly sounds like a depressing Aspect to inherit, there’s actually quite a lot of depth to this sort of understanding. Those who are influenced by Doom can be extremely understanding people, having been through many a personal crisis themselves, and it’s not uncommon for Doombound players to have firsthand experience with mental illness. I won’t fall into the common trap of romanticizing mental illness, of course. It can be absolutely debilitating for many people. If there is any silver lining to it, it’s the empathy that comes from such experiences. Many Doom players are also drawn to interests that involve clear-cut systems and rules, such as video games, computer programming, and such. Their experience with such restrictions often leads them to an incredibly in-depth understanding of their abilities, whether physical, mental, or otherwise. I’ve personally met a good few Doombound people who have chronic pain issues and have had to come to terms with their own limits. This certainly wouldn’t be uncommon in a true session, though it’s absolutely not a requirement, merely a correlation. They also have a tendency toward self-sacrifice, often giving up their time and energy for others, even when there won’t be compensation. This may seem surprising, given the dreary reputation Doom has, but one needs only look at our canon Doom players to understand how sacrifice is baked into their Aspect.

The Heir is a Class of inheritance, as the name suggests. They receive great boons from their Aspect from the very beginning of their journey, often embodying qualities that are associated with their Aspect even before entering their session. Though this can be said of many Classes, the Heir is the most obvious when it comes to possessing their Aspects qualities. John, our most prominent Heir, showed a great deal of frustration at the restriction of his personal freedom at the start of his journey and only continues to embody this trait, longing for the ability to make his own choices and “do his own thing” rather than listening to the voice of, for example, the Wayward Vagabond. He then went on to become the literal embodiment of Breath during his quest on many occasions. The Heir of Doom, one can assume, would play much the same role in their own session, as someone who starts their journey keenly aware of the limitations and rules of the game itself, no doubt understanding it through a love (or begrudging appreciation) for video game logic and programming know-how. The Heir typically isn’t a Class known for sharing loads of Aspect-related knowledge, however, so they’re likely to keep their understanding to themselves. Their power will certainly grow throughout the session, as is typical for Heirs, and as long as their “sacrificial state” doesn’t come too early, they’ll be an incredible powerhouse in the late game. The ability to literally become the embodiment of rules, systems, and the literal foundation of the session’s programming is an incredible ability, perhaps allowing the Heir to rewrite the rules as they see fit in order to benefit their team. When they do end up sacrificing a great amount of their ability to further affect the narrative, however, it will grant them an insane amount of destructive force as they push themselves far beyond their limits in a show of unprecedented power. This may be in the form of a literal explosion, as Doom players are fond of doing, or it may open up the possibility for massive changes to the session’s rules, much like a skilled hacker burning themselves out over several nights in order to, well, hack the Gibson.

[roc-thoughtblog]

Sense and Sensibility Readthrough Part 10

Chapter 13, Pages 54-61

Today I actually paid attention to the meaning of the lyrics to Rolling Girl, and couldn't stop myself from crying. Then, like a sucker, I looked for English covers, and cried again. Oops. Song hits too close to home. Anyways.

Previously, Margaret was the best character. Marianne x Willougby now confirmed beyond reasonable doubt to Elinor, and Mrs. Jennings and everybody else now knows that Elinor has a secret beau. Poor Elinor, and probably poor Edward in advance, too.

Relatedly, two old friends dragged me out last night to witness the rare event of yours truly drinking, which mostly involves me pulling entertaining faces at weak cocktails after a single sip, because alcohol tastes as powerful and godforsaken as nuclear fallout to me, and lingers just about as long on the poor blasted wasteland of my helpless tongue. I don't have a secret beau, but they still did insist on dragging out of me every plausibly hypothetical detail, and then proceeded to try to set me up with the waitress of the night when there predictably turned out to be none. I dearly love my friends, but, Elinor, my point is that I want you to know that I feel for you.

I feel like sometimes I turn these preambles into diary entries. I'm entirely okay with this, though I should probably tag them somehow.

Also, oh my lord, this chapter sure happened, wow.

Readthrough below.

Chapter 13 Apparently things start really evolving now. Exciting. (EDIT: THEY SURE DID)

THEIR INTENDED excursion to Whitwell turned out very differently from what Elinor had expected. She was prepared to be wet through, fatigued and frightened;

Aha, Austenism coming up, first thing.

but the event was still more unfortunate,

Yess called it. So how was it worse? Were there floods? Surprise Edward & Mrs. Jennings meeting?

for they did not go at all.

... my expectations got double-subverted. Well, something is about to happen. I see now why all the details of the coming trip were attached to the last chapter instead of opening this one. They're out to picnic, and;

eager to be happy, and determined to submit to the greatest inconveniences and hardships rather than be otherwise.

I love this line. Anyway, while they're eating, Colonel Brandon receives a concerning letter though; his faces changes colour and he has to leave temporarily, like a really important phone call.

I guess this will be the impetus for change?

Haha, Lady M tries to stop her mother from prying into Brandon's personal business but Mrs Jennings is just not that type of person. Brandon's not really forthcoming and says it's just business in town, but he does have to leave immediately to attend to it.

It sounds really urgent. Him not being present means they can't go to the venue Sir Middleton wanted to use, which was an estate Brandon was related to. He's effectively cancelled the whole party for a business that where apparently, "I cannot afford to lose one hour." He's still not forthcoming on what though.

Willoughby and Marianne make snide comments betting that Brandon has invented the excuse himself to cancel the party because he's a spoilsport. Guys, please. :(

Sir M is very accomodating of Brandon regardless. He's a good-hearted fellow, really, if a little dim occasionally. Aww, Brandon says goodbye to Elinor. That's sweet, I really enjoy their friendship. Help I teared up slightly, I think I'm still emotional from the song. Marianne gets a silent nod. Yeah, I understand.

Anyway, now that he's gone, Mrs. Jennings starts eagerly speculating the reason for his urgency. A "Miss Williams" supposedly.

WHAT

SHE'S HIS DAUGHTER? BRANDON HAS A DAUGHTER? His NATURAL DAUGHTER? She's good enough at least to only reveal the daughter part to Elinor, but, damn. Wow, uh. Wow. People sure gonna bug him about Miss Williams now.

Wait but he's 35 right, so how old is Miss Williams?? When do people have kids again?? Oh my gosh, is Margaret going get a FRIEND HER OWN AGE?? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

"Oh yes; and as like him as she can stare. I dare say the Colonel will leave her all his fortune."

But WHAT HAPPENED? Why aren't they together right now? Why is he attending random parties alone? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Though I do wanna say that does make the Mrs. Jennings' hypothetical Marianne/Brandon pair a bit stranger. Beyond just a man who could be her father, a daughter who could be her sister? That's something alright.

after some consultation, it was agreed, that although happiness could only be enjoyed at Whitwell,

HAHA, I really enjoy these lines. It's the kind of thing where it's not what anyone is intending on meaning, but it's accurate to what's happening in a roundabout way. Anyone everyone goes on a drive instead and presumably Willoughby and Marianne have a very romantic time on theirs.

Another dance in the evening? Is that just what rich people do all day? ... Do rich people still do that all day? Wow, there are like 20 Careys, a family who has now been mentioned twice that I recall and I don't know if they'll be important or just filling up the numbers.

Also I admire and yet detest the seating arrangements haha.

Mrs Jennings -> Elinor -> Willoughby -> Marianne. Willoughby, why you separate the sisters? You don't seem to talk much to Elinor anyway. ... are you trying to hog Marianne? Is that the play? I'm not judging here, I'm just curious. Would be sneaky play.

Despite the general pattern of narrative voice, it is abundantly clear that Elinor is the primary focus here as all the information is exactly and only what passes through her ears; makes the seating arrangement of Mrs Jennings on the other side very clever too, beyond just the charming blocking of having her lean over two people to harass Marianne with her mysterious Romance Sleuthing Acumen. Apparently she has figured out exactly where Marianne and Willoughby have gone on their "drive", and thanks to seating Elinor will now hear too.

HAHA SHE CALLS WILLOUGHBY MR. IMPUDENCE. This and Willoughby calling Elinor saucy, the dialogue really doesn't pull punches sometimes. Apparently Willoughby took her on a tour of his to-be-inherited estate. Elinor pieces together that Mrs. Jennings got the beans spilled from the servants. I told you two! Don't discount the servants! Mrs Jennings sure doesn't! Treat your groom a greater friend, Willoughby, and mayhap the seal of loyalty might have affixed his lips. :'D

Ah, but Elinor is still worried about propriety. Elinor, I love you dearly, but this is most harmless romanticism really. It's not like the horse thing. Haha, aww, Elinor's tactitly acknowledged Marianne’s relationship and intentions with Willoughby, and Marianne does that thing where she sort of lost the argument but is too pleased to really turn it around.

Haha, Marianne returns later to describe the actual house she saw with great enthusiasm. She's just that excited, how very Marianne to gush so; she might also be gloating juuuuust a little over having seen the house and expecting to inherit it. :'D Very amusing; poor Elinor to have to listen to it though, deliberate or not. Her own beau is so far away, and his own inheritance dicier. Must sting a bit.

AaaaaAAAAAAAA this has been my hour but I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MISS WILLIAMS. I would have continued onto the next chapter, hour be damned because it's saturday, but skimming through Brandon doesn't come back. I don't want to skim too far ahead but as far as I can tell he doesn't come back for at least 10 chapters noooooooooooo you can't just spring that on me and leave me hanging aaaaaaaaaaaa. :'(

Ahh well, I suppose if I were any of the Dashwoods I wouldn't expect to see him until "after winter" anyway, whenever that will be. That'll be it for today then, I suppose. :'D

I think with the addition of Miss Williams, Colonel Brandon and his DAUGHTER are now the most intriguing characters to me. Not being able to find out their deal for weeks is gonna drive me nuts. I hope he's not an absent father though...

Miss Williams is also an instant favourite for just existing, because as you can see with Margaret, I have a soft spot for children caught in an adult world.

[shieldmaiden19]

I know I'm super late to the party, but ☕️ + accessibility or maybe ☕️ + a period in history you like talking about or ☕️ + common misconceptions about one of your interests (whichever one you prefer) (this is in reference to the rant meme from August)

Hi anon! I have no idea (or at least Tumblr can’t find) the rant meme you’re referring to, but I’m always down to Spill Some Tea.

One of my favorite periods in history to talk and learn about is the 20s (the 1920s because I make no claims at foresight lol) because holy shit there’s so much in that era I relate to and see paralleled in the modern world.

Just think about 1919 - thousands of young men are coming back from a war without end, an 19th century war fought with 20th century weapons, a war that regarded lowly trench soldiers as acceptable losses. No one really knew PTSD was a thing, but suddenly here are the guys that survived all showing a very similar set of symptoms, and this phenomenon gets the name “shell shock.” 

A generation came of age either experiencing or reading reporting on this horrific war, seeing the devastation wreaked upon human beings, habitations, and the natural environment (There are still some places in France where you can’t dig or build because there are records of mines being planted but never found and you could die. TODAY. 11/11/2020). They came of age reading of the revolutions this war sowed in its wake (Russia and Ireland to name the two I know the most about) and seeing the culmination of the campaign for (white) women’s vote. The 1919 pandemic demolished whatever sense of normalcy these young adults had, and with the increasing pace of change, the general zeitgeist became this sense of, “We could literally die tomorrow. I don’t want to grapple with that, so I’m going to avoid it in every way I can.” This is where we get the phrase “Carpe diem” - the Latin literally translates to “Seize the day” (yes, Newsies fans, cool your tits), a phrase not unlike today’s YOLO - You Only Live Once.

Now, with the increase in eligible voters, Congress and its policies shifted. A good chunk of their voter base lived with the effects of alcohol on a daily basis, and the Women’s Temperance Union’s campaign to prohibit the creation or sale of liquor finally saw success. Now, before some asshole takes this opportunity to start harping on these fun-killing puritans, I need you to understand that these women were using what they had to improve the world as they knew it. Just like with PTSD, alcoholism had been observed on a broad enough scale to be registered as a phenomenon but not studied at the level we know it today. We know now that alcoholism is often an inherited condition, a continuing cycle of misery from one generation to the next, exacerbated by inequalities, discrimination, and underlying mental conditions. These women didn’t know any of that, so they had to use the tools (the vote) and the knowledge (the men in our lives hurt us when they’re under the influence of alcohol) they had to make changes. Ken Burns’ Prohibition documentary goes into detail on this, and I highly recommend it.

So now we get to Prohibition.

The era of Prohibition has been romanticized and dramatized for decades (at least partly due to Mob influence in Hollywood), but there are some things that need to be touched on

1. Prohibition changed power dynamics. Italians, as I mentioned before, took the positioning on the margins they were handed coming to America at the beginning of the 20th century and they made it work. Black artists created art that literally changed the music world as we know it.

Side note: I didn’t realize until I started writing this that a lot of my passion for representation comes back to this era, because name, if you can, five Italian-American characters that are not in any way connected to the Mob. Try it, and tell me if you can think of any because I need to know.

2. Pre-Prohibition bars/drinking halls did not allow women to enter. Prohibition closed those down and nightclub/speakeasies rose up to fill the void. Those allowed women in, because who would turn away business when you’re operating on the margins? These ten years saw not so much a shift as a rolling wave of change in urban American culture, lifestyle, and society for so many reasons, including but not limited to:

-  The rise in rapid communication technology (and film!! Film was sprouted and blossomed in the 20s!!)

-  High levels of PTSD (from the war and the pandemic)

-  Broad, safe, and cheap access to electricity (allowing communication, nightlife, etc)

-  Zeitgeist of confused apathy/hurt/panic 

This decade set the mold for urban America as we know it. People on the margins finally had a voice, and they used it to roar. And an entire generation of young people so steeped in trauma, uprising, and a changing world they no longer could separate the frenetic panic of the world from themselves drank themselves into addiction and the worst financial crisis in recorded history (prior to 2020 lol). They raised the “Greatest Generation,” and for all they roared when they were young, they are known in history as the “Silent Generation.” The wheels of the world turn, and they spin the same direction a hundred years later, and if we do not learn from history, we will be crushed by it.

Rise up and roar, my lovelies, and never, ever let history silence you. If we’re going down, we’re going down swinging.

#shieldsays #shieldshareshershit #thanksanon #happy2020yall

[vuelie-frost]

Frozen 2, the spoiler debacle, and the dehumanization of Elsa

Hello there! Let’s talk. (Warning: this post will contain some of the leaked spoilers. Read at your own risk!) You may notice this is my first and only post on this blog. I started this side-blog just to iterate my opinions on Frozen in an anonymous setting, and my main account isn’t suited for that. As for me, I’m a 26-yo Frozen fan. Elsa is my favorite fictional character of all time; she means a lot to me. By day I work as a graphic designer in the southern US, by night I struggle to sleep. Really exciting life. 

Anyway, because I’m human trash, I read the spoilers. I sought them out. I kind of regret it. Initially I was shocked, hurt, betrayed, and uneasy about the apparent direction this movie is going in. And the more I read about people’s backlash & opinions, the more my understandings were bolstered. People have a lot to say about this. People get very up-in-arms about the direction their fictional characters take. 

Let me start by saying that if you are staunchly opposed to the PERCEIVED ending of the movie, I’m probably not going to change your mind. I’m writing this for those people like me who are just confused, uncertain, worried, and anxious. After all, we have a whole month until this movie is released. Are we going to have to live in this limbo for another month?

After reading a lot of accounts & interpretations of Frozen 2, I want to say: no. 

If the implied ending is in fact how the movie ends- separation of the sisters, Anna as sole monarch, Elsa as the fifth spirit- I’ve made my peace. And you can too (Excuse me while I sound like an infomercial.)

First, let me play devil’s advocate and pull some of the speculation apart from the facts:

- Regarding the pages from the art book, we don’t know if Elsa relinquishes her title to Anna. There’s nothing saying they’re not co-rulers. It notes that Anna inherits the throne from the “queens before her,” including Elsa, but this could be interpreted as “Elsa was queen first,” NOT “Elsa is no longer queen.”

- We don’t know if Elsa becomes a goddess, immortal, or some ethereal being. There is mention of her becoming the fifth element, but this could be a descriptive characteristic, NOT prescriptive (ie, she doesn’t need to “transform” to become it, she is it by simply being herself.) If that even is true. It’s just as likely that the bond of Elsa-Anna is the bridge/fifth element, not Elsa herself. AND if the fifth element is the harmony between humanity & spirit, Elsa can’t become un-human to fulfill that role, or she becomes wholly spirit... which is what Pabbie warned against in “losing herself” to magic. Also note that “transformation” was used to describe Elsa in her Ice Palace in the first movie. It didn’t mean she became inhuman, it meant she became more herself.

- We don’t know the nature of their “separation,” if there even is one (the leaked book pages talk about different roles only, and the Foreword of the art book only alludes to them living different lives.) The picture of Elsa riding away on the Nokk & waving? That doesn’t mean she’s leaving forever. Hell, she could be off to save Olaf from a wolf. 

- We don’t know that there are two separate Epilogues chronicling their separate journeys. The Color Script page has two boxes labeled “Epilogue.” It also has two pages labeled “Dark Sea.” Are those two separate scenes? Or just two color schemes? Given the context of the sheet’s title... I’m going with the latter.

We know very little about the context of the movie to make these judgements anything more than speculations. Take a deep breath. The movie isn’t ruined.

However, if these things turn out to be true, we can still be at peace with the decisions made at Disney Animation by preparing an open mindset. Here's how I’ve been processing it, and how I’ve come to defend the creative team regardless of their decisions for Elsa & Anna. The Perception of Wrongdoing There are a few specific implications in the spoilers that rubbed me the wrong way. I’d been optimistic for the movie until this morning when I pored over everyone’s interpretations. I don’t like the idea of the girls being separated. I don’t like the idea of Elsa no longer being queen (at least, in royal title via her family line. Snow Queen is a different honor.) I don’t like the idea of Elsa becoming something more than human, a spirit or goddess or force of nature. Elsa is beloved because of her humanity. In fact, I think the first Frozen was beloved because of its humanity. We saw the weaknesses and vulnerabilities of its two heroines and we fell in hard, deep love with the story. We’ve had so many years to marinate on that story over and over again that it’s become cozy and familiar, a hygge of itself. 

And when we’re faced with the prospect that our favorite story’s world is about to be flipped on its axis, we panic because it feels vulnerable. We’ve put so much love and time into this franchise and we feel helpless to watch other people- the people who are, in fact, in charge- make decisions about it. Dehumanization

Because of my love for Elsa, I’ll speak about her as an example, though this applies to any aspect of the story we feel is “wrong” in the sequel.

There are two ways to dehumanize someone. One is to think of them as worthless; the other is to idolize them. 

It’s not a secret that Elsa is one of the most idolized fictional characters of our time. Some of her creators even fell a little bit in love with her, as admitted by Jennifer Lee. She was written as someone who is inherently beautiful, but fragile and unsure of herself. She is kind, gentle, wise, and compassionate. Even her flaws- her penchant for being too reserved, her anxious and worried nature- are romanticized into beauty. Moreover, her flaws as characteristics rather than actions make it difficult for us to perceive her as anything other than our perfect, honorable Snow Queen.

Codependency, by definition, involves the idolatry of another human. Obviously Elsa being fictional doesn’t make her codependent to anyone, as it’s not a mutual relationship. But the idolatry is there. We feel we “need” her to be and act a certain way to fulfill our desires. 

So when we hear word that she’s acting in a way we don’t like? We get scared. Perhaps we didn’t understand her the way we thought we did. Perhaps we’re not as “close” to her as we thought. Perhaps it feels like a betrayal. 

Jennifer Lee & Christopher Buck know Elsa better than we do. We project our own experiences onto the character of Elsa because she’s so unique and still relatable. But her creators are the ones who know her wholly, truly, as she is. Jennifer Lee wrote journals to “listen” to Elsa & Anna, and their respective stories. They employed mental health professionals to analyze the characters and help determine arcs that would make sense. They care a lot about what these sisters do and feel, and no one- not even you or me- is more committed to playing these characters truthfully.  This is something that idolatry blinds us to. The image of Elsa in our heads doesn’t match the expression in the sequel, and we get scared of the cognitive dissonance. Who is Elsa if she’s not the Queen? Who is Anna if she’s not living with her sister? We panic because what we THOUGHT we knew is suddenly revealed to be a lie. We imagined the ending of Frozen 2 to be an idyllic family setting, when in fact it might stretch our definition of “family.”  All that to say: it’s okay to be scared of what this movie might reveal about characters we thought we knew. The familiarity of the first movie is being challenged. But growth can’t happen without some sort of variable change. It’s okay to disagree with how the creators specifically do that, but be aware of why they chose to make those decisions in the first place.  The trailers have been alluding to a separation of some kind, with Elsa’s “What would I do without you?” to Anna’s “you’ll always have me” as foreboding clues to the movie’s interpersonal conflict. For reasons we don’t know, this is the route the creative team has taken. It might feel unfair, but we don’t have the whole story. And whatever that story is.... it will all be okay. Jennifer and Chris will make the right decisions for their characters. The sisters will be happy in the end because this is a Disney movie (do you really think they’d be happy separated against either of their wills?) They’ll be a family regardless of the circumstances. It might not be how you or I would have written it, but that doesn’t make it a bad story nor an invalid one. And we can be content with that for another month. (I have a working hypothesis that we’re all going to be happily surprised by the ending’s larger meaning, once it’s revealed.) Wait, isn’t this just a kid’s movie? Shouldn’t we just suck it up and move on? Elsa may be fictional, but that doesn’t mean she’s not real. She means a lot to a LOT of people because of her very real relationships with herself, her capabilities, her power, and her family. It’s not silly to worry about her arc, nor Frozen 2′s arc as a whole.  Stay Mindful

If you’ve been scouring Tumblr & Instagram all day today in a panic trying to decide how to feel about the Frozen 2 leaks, please get off the echo chamber that is the internet. Eat a chocolate chip cookie, meditate, sit outside with a cup of tea- enter back into the “real world.” It pains me to say this because I’m talking to myself as much as I'm talking to anyone else, but: Frozen is not the determinant of your existence, nor your happiness. It’s one story among SO many, all of which have the potential to form and influence us in various ways.

In closing:

- keep in mind that most of what’s circulating on Tumblr is part of a rumor mill, and not to trust anything that doesn’t come from Disney themselves

- context is key to everything, and until we see the movie, we don’t have the knowledge to make major decisions about how we feel about Frozen 2

- It’s okay to feel worried or scared that the story won’t be what we were expecting- but that doesn’t make it bad, and it doesn’t mean we’re destined to be disappointed

- be mindful of whether you’re putting the characters/movie/franchise on a pedestal of unsustainable adoration. It can be unhealthy and painful to come down from that high.

[teamhook]

A Chapter a Day... Savage Heart CS AU

This story will be finished by the end of the month. :)

A love story between a pirate and his savior. An innocent, beautiful, selfless woman meets a man with no manners, no formal education and not even a last name. Will Emma fall in love with Killian once she discovers that beneath his tough exterior lies a heart-wild, but a heart of gold? This is a Captain Swan AU

Beta-ed by the awesome @ilovemesomekillianjones​​​​​

|AO3| |FFN| previous chapter

|AO3| |FFN| current chapter

Chapter 11: Getting To Know You, The Real You

"How did you end up with the job of giving me a tour of the estate and making me feel welcomed? Last time I saw you, we were at the convent, not being extremely friendly if I recall correctly," Killian asks as he sits in front of Emma while drinking his tea.

Emma looks at him closely and answers, "Well, August's mother Cora isn't feeling well. I know the estate well enough to have been tasked with the job no one else here can fill."

"I suppose, I forget you were groomed to be the perfect little wife for August. I imagine that included being familiar with the estate."

Emma looks away for a brief second and answers, "Yes, I was groomed by Cora to be the perfect wife she thought her son would need. In the end, it didn't work out."

"I too know the feeling of rejection all too well. I went away on a business trip thinking on my return I would wed the woman I love, only to return to find out that the woman I love had given herself to another in marriage."

"She told you she would marry you?" Emma asks as she looks around to ensure no one is listening. "Are you finished with your tea, Mr. Jones?"

"Mr. Jones? Hmm, I like the sound of my name on your lips." He realizes his comment makes her uncomfortable and adds, "Sorry lass. I apologize for the improper comment. To answer your question, yes she did."

Emma smiles, rolls her eyes and gestures to his cup.

"I'm done."

"There is more I need to show you," Emma says.

Killian bites his bottom lip, holding back the comment that naturally wants to come out.

"August mentioned he met you as a young boy. Do you remember anything about your stay here at that time?" Emma asks.

"I wasn't here that long, love," he answers.

"Yet August cares for you deeply and sees you as a true friend," Emma says trying to guilt Killian. She hopes that reminding him of their childhood friendship will deter him from whatever plans he may have.

"Ah, perhaps he does."

Soon Killian is walking after Emma out of the house. She is pointing to different areas of the ranch. The estate consists of vast farmland and to fill the awkwardness as they walk along, they keep talking.

"How long were you here? I used to visit often and I don't remember seeing you."

"Hmm, I was here for maybe a couple of months. Once Mr. Booth passed his wife kicked me out. I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye to August."

"Why would she kick you out, did you do something?" Emma asks and adds, "She has always been so generous, and I cannot believe she would just toss you out."

"Automatically you assume I did something? I was a child, I had lost my father. Mr. Booth generously gave me his last name and you spontaneously believe me to be at fault?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," Emma starts as she sees Killian getting upset, "It is hard for me to believe from my experience with Cora, but if you say that's what happened, I believe you." Emma reaches to touch his hand as she says her apology.

Killian looks down at where they are connected and finds her touch soothing. "No need to apologize. Just like everyone else, Mrs. Booth never allowed me to forget I was nothing, all she saw me as was a simple charity case."

Emma is rubbing little circles on his hand, though she doesn't even know she is doing it. As they walk, they come across some of the workers huts and hear someone screaming in pain. They look at each other before hurrying to the door. They find a man bloodied, lying on a cot. Emma looks at Killian, her big green eyes tearing up at the sight. "We need to call the doctor," Emma says urgently.

Killian kneels next to the man. "He was beaten like an animal. These wounds are not older than a day."

Emma asks, "Who would do such a thing?"

Killian laughs as he is getting a rag wet and cleaning the blood from the man's body. "Who is in charge? Or can you not believe your perfect August could be responsible for this?"

"August is not a cruel man. Someone else must be responsible," Emma insists.

"People from your class, like August and Cora only see their workers as pawns, worthless and disposable."

"I know you believe I'm too sheltered and you are correct, but I do have my own opinions. Even though everyone has blood inside them, there are only a few that are more fortunate. Some people lack things that others have plenty of. Some have nothing, and deserve it, and those that have everything their heart's desire don't deserve it."

"Maybe heading to the main house now and getting a doctor out here would be more beneficial to the poor bloke than breaking your romanticized illusions of August Booth," Killian says as he grabs Emma by the arm and pulls her toward the door.

"I don't understand your obsession with Milah if you hold 'our' class in such low opinion," Emma says as she walks with him to the main house.

"Milah was my chance at a happy ending. Women want a man with money and power. No woman wants a man without a last name or financial stability to care for her. I have only one of the requirements. I can offer a comfortable life, not one in the league of Booth, but a nice life. The surname is my mother's. My father didn't see me worthy of his. But that is a long story," he says and adds, "too long for now."

Emma looks at him as she hurries to keep up with him. "I'm sorry," Emma says.

Killian slows down to look at Emma, she is not judging him for his misfortunes. He has no idea why he is sharing so much with her. "I have known Archie since I was young. He thinks it's my choice to not marry and to live my life as is. He doesn't understand that it is not only my decision. I ask you, what honorable woman wants to be saddled with a man like me? Don't you think I would love to marry and have a family? Milah accepted me as I am, and then she changed her mind. What she took from me no one can replace." Killian's jaw clenches as he speaks his troubles aloud.

"What did she take away from you?" Emma asks as the reach the main house.

"The same thing August took from you, hope."

Emma pauses for a second and calls out for the Booth's maid. "Enith, please go fetch Dr. Whale. There is an injured man in one of the worker huts." Emma smiles as she gives her order.

"Oh, I need to make sure it's alright with Mrs. Booth for me to leave," Enith says.

"Enith, the man is in bad shape. August gave instructions for our orders not to be questioned. Mrs. Booth is not feeling well, therefore you will follow our instructions or am I to inform August that you didn't follow his?" Emma's tone is firm, surprising even herself.

Enith glares at Emma and says, "I will leave to go get Dr. Whale."

He's in awe of Emma taking charge, and he tells her as much. "I'm impressed, Emma," Killian tells her in a soft voice filled with admiration and pride.

Emma looks at him and says, "I'm sorry. I should not have been so harsh with you the last time we met. You are not exactly what I expected. Did you know I shared a room at the convent with your friend, Tink? She thinks the world of you. To be honest, at first, I thought she was biased because of her obvious feelings for you, but now I see, there is more to you." Emma starts to walk away and says, "I'm going to get some supplies that may be useful when Dr. Whale arrives."

When she comes back with some clean rags, Killian is standing just outside the door waiting for the Doctor's arrival. He looks lost in thought. He must have heard her approach and turns to face her.

Emma joins him outside. "I need to make sure that your room is prepared. August wants you to be comfortable. He also mentioned that there is housing in the estate for the steward, but that he will take care of that in his return."

Killian smiles and looks intently at Emma as he says, "Of a gentleman, as you can see all I have are the clothes. But, I also want to tell you that if I'd had you, only becoming blind, deaf or an imbecile would I have left you for another woman, much less for a whore like your cousin."

Emma stares at Killian in disbelief as they wait outside for Enith and Dr. Whale.

Cora peers outside her window at the sound of voices. She notices the resemblance between Killian and her late husband. In a moment of panic, she rushes to her locked trunk, frantically struggling with the key she hides close to her heart and finally is able to open it. She digs until she finds what she is searching for, a letter. The same letter Brennan had written to Archie in hopes to acknowledge Killian as his first born son to be precise. She should have ridden herself of such damning evidence then. If it was to be found out now her son would have to share his inheritance with that bastard.

She knows there are still workers who knew Brennan, what if they notice the resemblance? She might need to force them into retirement. Sure she had heard rumors of Killian's good looks, but she had never been curious enough to see for herself. He truly has too much of his father in him, more than August. She is baffled how August could not see it? Then she remembers August hasn't seen Killian, Archie had made the arrangements. Her attention is drawn back to reality and the commotion outside.

They stand outside of the Booth main house while the doctor checks on the patient. Killian is watching Emma sway back and forth she is so nervous. The doctor had finally arrived and now they were waiting on his prognosis.

"The man was beaten badly, in addition, he has pneumonia and it has not been taken care of. If he makes it, it will be a miracle," Dr. Whale says as he hands Emma medication for the employee.

How could they treat their workers so poorly? "Thank you, I will make sure he takes it," Emma says confidently.

"Pneumonia is always dangerous and you have to take into consideration the poor physical state that he is in as well. If he makes it through the night it will be a good sign, but he will need much care," Doctor Whale says.

They head to the little hut where Emma administers the medicine to the ailing man.

"Emma, you have to know that there is a chance he may not make it," Killian tells her.

"I have faith he will," Emma says.

"If he makes it, it will not be because of divine intervention, it will be because of your care," Killian says as he holds Emma's hands within his. He slowly lifts her hands and places a soft kiss on each as he keeps his piercing eyes on her.

After showing Killian to his room, Emma is walking to her mother's room to wish her a good night and is stopped by Cora.

"Emma, I couldn't help notice that you spent all day with the pirate," Cora says.

Emma looks at Cora and responds, "I was only following August's instructions. He mentioned that you were not feeling well and for me to make sure Mr. Jones felt welcomed."

"I wonder how welcomed you make him feel. You two looked very cozy," Cora says and walks away.

Emma stares after the woman who had always shown such affection to her, and now her current attitude is the opposite.

Cora heads to Killian's room. She is assuming that there is much more to what is being said. She knocks loudly on his door.

Killian opens the door and is surprised to see Cora.

"What do you want in exchange to leave the grounds?" Cora asks.

Killian only smirks and responds, "I will not be leaving without what belongs to me."

Cora is stunned he knows he is the elder son of Brennan.

"I can have my husbands' last name reinstated as yours and money alongside a beautiful honorable bride," Cora says.

"I don't need your husband's surname or for you to find me a wife," Killian answers. He is confused by Cora's offer.

"Think about it, don't discard the idea," Cora says and walks out.

Killian stands dumbfounded. It is an interesting proposition. He could marry and accept the money. He would appear less threatening. Perhaps this could work for his benefit.

All Cora can think of is that she needs that bastard gone. Her son will not share his inheritance with that lowlife. She knows Emma still cares for her son. She will use that to push her to make the decision to protect August. Cora decides to apologize to Emma for her behavior and plant a little seed. She is not blind, she saw how Emma and Killian had interacted. She arrives at Emma's door and knocks softly.

"Darling girl, please forgive my attitude from earlier. I know it is not an excuse for my poor behavior, but it is not a secret that I'm not happy with the presence of Killian Jones in my home. I know for a fact that he is only here because he covets all that my son possesses. He will take everything that is within reach. If August was to know of his true mission here, I cannot imagine what would happen. All I wish is to find a way to protect the family. I even offered him some money among other things for him to take his leave. If only somehow, someone could find a way to protect us from whatever that man is up to. Sorry to bombard you with my concerns. Good night sweet girl."

Emma watches Cora leave her room and quickly comes to the conclusion that Cora must know of the prior relationship between Milah and Killian. What else could Killian want that August has?

Tagging:

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[apiratecalledav]

It’s great to see you posting Game of Thrones and Gendry/Arya again! I’ve been wondering if you ship Sansa with anyone?

Aw, thanks! 😊

Unpopular-ish opinion time but I’m not gonna lie, Podrick Payne is my ideal match for her, especially in the show. What did Ned want for Sansa? “Someone who’s brave and gentle and strong.” That’s totally Pod. He’s also polite, sweet, thoughtful, hardworking, loyal, and determined. And apparently some kind of sex god? He’s got no issues with kickass women and he would be completely cool with Sansa being in charge. 

I see a lot of focus on why Sansa deserves someone like Pod but we shouldn’t overlook that she’d actually be good for him, too! On his end, I think he’d appreciate how patient/compassionate she is… We’ve seen how he sometimes struggles to get the hang of things in new situations and Sansa would be very sympathetic to that. I’d imagine that she would help him work on his confidence, too. She would also just really appreciate all the things he’d do (or try to) for her and that would make him really happy. 

I’m not getting my hopes up that they will actually get together but I do think they’d work out pretty well from a narrative standpoint, too:

Character development-wise, it would really highlight how much Sansa has grown up. At first, all she wanted was her beautiful prince. After Joffrey, she had a crush on Loras, a gorgeous, highly popular and lauded knight. When she was young and naïve, she fully believed that a prince and a knight would turn out to be just like the leading men of her favorite songs and stories. But Joffrey was a monster and Loras, though generally very nice and a good person, was not quite as honorable as Sansa was day dreaming (“Ser Loras wouldn’t do that, there’s no honor in tricks!”). Podrick’s position does not have the kind of romanticized splendor of a prince or a knight but he does have the chivalrous disposition that Sansa had hoped to find in Joffrey and Loras. And while Pod has certainly grown up to be very handsome, it’s not in the male-model-pretty-boy sort of way that Joffrey and Loras were. Sansa understands the value of substance over style and has learned to see the best in people who deserve it, like Tyrion and Sandor. Podrick might appear awkward and incidental but Sansa would look at him and see the most pure soul in Westeros. And he would treat her better than Joffrey ever would and love her the way that Loras couldn’t.

The irony. Sansa once wanted to marry Joffrey and be his queen. She didn’t marry him but now has power in her own right and might even end up a queen. Sansa also once wanted to marry a knight-in-shining-armor. I think it’d be awesome if she married a squire/knight-in-somewhat-dented-armor instead… and he’d be her consort. 

He’s distantly related to Illyn and of course House Payne serves the Lannisters so it would be nice to see some bridge-building and changes to the way things have always been.

I feel like he’s her best, somewhat realistic opportunity to marry for love, something I believe she deserves. Sansa is finally in a position to choose her own husband and I think there’s a chance that marriage alliances might not be as necessary after this last, unifying war. If she marries again, I hope it’s for no other reason than because she wants to spend her life with him. Podrick would be a fine choice and not just because he’s close in age and they already know each other. He’s not a lowborn “nobody” but he’s not a player in the game, either and I think that’s perfect. I assume he has some education so he wouldn’t be completely out of his depth at Sansa’s side but he also has no chance of outranking her, either. Basically, he’s respectable enough that I think people would deal with it but he also wouldn’t bring any issues to Sansa’s position and power or with their children’s titles/inheritance (maybe even allow for them to be called Stark?).

So… yeah. Team… Podsa? Sandrick?? Ponsa? Sanpod? Sapodanick? Ok, I’ll stop. 

P.S. They look so right on either side of their Auntie Brienne. Insert that “good shit” meme. 

[arcanalogue]

This was me a year ago -- the card I drew in the first moments of 2018. 

And I thought I understood it. Various elements in my life had finally congealed to a point where I was fully “stable,” fully “supported,” and suffused with all the good brain chemicals that allow one to walk around with one’s head held up respectably high.  

But the big question of the Ten of Cups is: “Where can we possibly go from here?” Because we gotta go somewhere, and ephemeral blessings such as these aren’t an end in themselves, but the means to still-further ends. 

I mused over this all damned year -- when I was happy, when I was stressed, when I lost an important job, when I realized that being hurt over the past is not a curable condition but an inescapable part of life. 

Last month, I began to get a little scared. My mental processes suddenly seemed very dull and rusty. I was forgetful, spaced out, even a bit aphasic, and aware enough of the difference to start getting really freaked out about it. What if it didn’t improve? What did this spell for the future? Were there heavy metals in my water supply? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME

By altering a few habits and checking in with myself very patiently, I deduced a few things:

I was very depressed

I was very anxious

I was completely overwhelmed by the weight of my own past

I used to imagine one’s personal history was a cumulative phenomenon, a timeline where “this happened, then this other thing happened, and then THIS happened...” and so on, all the way until this present moment, which is just another thing that happened. 

I knew the brain isn’t the ideal storage system for this phenomenon. We forget, we develop blind spots, we romanticize. Our timeline becomes a fantasy instead of a history, but a particularly well-tended one still manages to succeed as a breathtaking work of art. What an amazing thing to leave behind! That had always been my aim, anyway.

Examining the muddled contents of my brain, and looking ahead at what the future will likely demand, I realized something important: my brain is at capacity, and quickly running out of RAM. My arms are too full of the past to embrace the future. 

I have to let go. I have to stop telling and retelling certain parts of my story, or that’s all I’ll ever be. 

So, you know. First things first, I started changing things to ameliorate the depression, polishing surfaces mirror-smooth so there would be no handholds or footholds for it anywhere. 

Then it was on to the release and/or ceremonial destruction of the past. We’re talking a full household purge of artifacts related to old grudges, failed relationships, and slaughtered dreams. I thought I could keep these in cold-storage the way the Warrens lock up accursed items in “The Conjuring,” but one day I’ll be gone and these will still be here. My wounds, my closely-guarded humiliations will outlast me. 

NOPE! Bye. 

When we invite someone new to love us, it feels as though we’re asking them to embrace everything we are, and that includes our past, our story, our pain. However, that’s exactly backwards: looking at it that way, you’re letting the past define the future. How can two people hope to build anything new together when the stage is already set, littered with furniture and props from past productions? 

I want to know what it’s like to love someone in a wide-open way again. I thought that’s what I was doing! But I was actually doing that thing where you’re carrying in groceries from the car, and you don’t wanna make a second trip, so you’re fully loaded up and hanging heavy bags from your pinkie fingers and clamping your keys in your mouth and just PRAYING nothing splits or shifts before you make it into the house. Oh shit, there’s one more bag left. Do I have room for one more? 

Throughout the purging process, I could feel new reservoirs of space opening up in my brain. And after several weeks of cutting back the more obvious dead branches, I’m still finding pockets of rot and stuff I should have eliminated long ago. That’s where the forgetfulness really nails us -- even if something isn’t actively hurting us anymore, it can recede to a totally forgotten place where it just rots and takes up space that could go to something new. 

When dreams die (as they sometimes do), you have to remember to go back and clear out the residue, lest it unduly color your evaluation of new dreams as they emerge. If your mindfulness of the past puts shackles on the future, you are diminishing the reach of that young, hopeful person you used to be.  

Anyway, this is just to point out that sometimes the cards we draw on NYE provide instant illumination for the path ahead, and other times they remain a mystery to us all damned year, concealing their relevance until the eleventh hour.

This week I feel more or less normal again. More available space on the hard drive, hands empty so they can receive new gifts, whatever metaphor you want to run with. However, I also know this project is just beginning, and tonight I’ll draw the card that shows me where to focus next.

In the meantime, here’s some free spiritual advice: Clean out your closets! Organize that junk drawer! Throw things away. Donate them. Sell them, if you can! If you can’t face the unfaceable here in your own home, how can you trust yourself to rise to the occasion out in the wider world? How can you be there for others if you’re not showing up for yourself? 

If you die tomorrow, what will loved ones find lurking in your catacombs? Who will inherit it? Will they even understand what they’re looking at? Will they go ahead and keep it for posterity, or will they just throw it away?

Why don’t we save them the trouble, spare them the decision altogether, and just do it ourselves? 

(Should probably still get my water tested.)

H A P P Y  N E W  Y E A R 

[woodworkingpastor]

Say What? It’s not my place to judge--Matthew 7:1-5--Sunday, August 15, 2021

I am often surprised at how much conflict there is in the New Testament. It was helpful to hear Charles Wilson talk about this last Sunday, as he described the church as a place that doesn’t have the same disagreements and division that the world does, because we are shaped—and are being shaped—by Jesus. We recognize that at a fundamental level, our lives are defined by Someone who is both larger and “more ultimate” (if that descriptor even makes sense!) than the issues of our day. Because of the reshaping that is at work in us, we even begin to approach the issues of our day from a different perspective.

This has been a characteristic of how churches grow in contexts that are hostile to the Gospel. Why is it that people would want to follow Jesus if it made certain circumstances of their life more difficult? The Christian answer to this is that God has revealed part of God’s character to everyone; that there exists within us a sense of true north, if you will, and we can begin to move in that direction on our own. So people see Christians behaving differently and it touches something in them and some of them become curious about how this can be. Questions are asked, relationships are formed, and lives are changed.

We should not romanticize stories like these, because living differently from the prevailing culture also comes at cost. That, too, is part of our story.

Knowing all of that doesn’t really do all that much to lower my surprise at the conflict portrayed in the pages of the New Testament. We might expect people who have been captured by Jesus and filled with the Spirit to behave better. And we certainly do find some of that. Both in the New Testament and in Christian history we find many examples of people’s encounter with Jesus becoming an inflection point in their lives, a point any of us can look back upon and say, “Aha! Here is where things changed.” We see people and note that their life used to look one way, but now it looks another. With the resources and testimonies of nearly 2,000 years of Christian history to draw from, we can begin to predict what some of that transformation will look like:

Life and relationships are held in much higher regard, especially for those persons and circumstances on the margins. We are moved to be concerned for people and circumstances that we have no compelling reason to be concerned about;

Patterns of destructive behavior are left behind;

People begin aligning their lives and their priorities with Jesus.

Being a follower of Jesus entails nothing less than becoming a visible alternative to the world!

Knowing all of this, how is it that leaders in the New Testament from Jesus to the elders and deacons of the early church consistently found themselves knee-deep (or more) in conflict? It is precisely because the Spirit challenges our old ways and patterns of living and interacting. Even after our lives pass that inflection point and we begin on this new trajectory, the old ways are still with us. Change and loss are threatening, even to people who operate with the best of intentions. When we find ourselves in situations where tensions begin to rise, we begin to judge.

This leads me to two challenging questions for us this morning:

“How many times have you looked at a person and/or their circumstances—or been talking to someone else about that person and/or their circumstances—and said, ‘Well, it’s not my place to judge’?”

“When you said this, were you, in fact, judging?”

I believe the answers for each of us will be the same: “Often” and “Yes.” Just making the statement is a fairly clear indication that we’re looking at a situation you don’t approve of, and we don’t want to say out loud what we are thinking in our minds.

This is why this sermon makes it into the Say What?! series, and why we want to understand the fullness of what Matthew 7:1-5 has to say on the matter. The significant issue with all the myths, misunderstandings, and misinterpretations is that that they offer a simplistic answer in place of a deep answer. But simplistic answers are insufficient for faithful discipleship.

We are surrounded by situations where someone’s testimony about Jesus does not line up with the pattern of their living. We are certainly capable of recognizing those situations. But what are we to do then? “Judging” means something specific: it involves making an ultimate determination about the value of another person���s life. When we “judge,” we are looking at another person and their circumstances and acting as if we have all the information necessary to determination the value of their life. We are assuming that we know:

all the circumstances of the situation;

the reasons why they did what they did;

that we would not have made the same decision if we had been in their place;

their future—and this is the big one. Even if the situation we see is every bit as bad as we understand it to be, when we pass judgment on another person, we come very close to deciding the person has no value.

All of that can be tied up in that simple statement, “It’s not my place to judge” when, in fact, we are doing that very thing!

Why do we judge? I think it’s because at a certain level we’re looking for a reason to demonstrate the strength and superiority of ourselves and of our group. We know ourselves very well; we know we’re not perfect; we understand the ways we let God and ourselves and other people down; we know all the times we’ve not had the courage to live boldly and courageously for Jesus because it was just simpler to give into the circumstances and temptations of the moment. Grace can be so hard to give, but I wonder sometimes if grace is even harder to receive. It’s easier to try to build ourselves up by tearing someone else down.

What Jesus does in this passage is the same thing he is does throughout the Sermon on the Mount: he is reframing our imaginations so we can begin to comprehend Kingdom life. Having met Jesus and dedicated our lives to Him, part of the Spirit’s work in our lives is teaching us to think differently. Rather than responding to situations that we see by assuming some kind of moral or spiritual strength and superiority, our response comes from a place of meekness. Earlier in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus told us,

“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth”

Here is an example of that. Following along past the simplicity of the Say What?! section of the passage and moving into the depth of the fuller teaching, Jesus goes on to say,

Why do you see the speck in your neighbors eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye?...You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye (Matthew 7:3,5).

Mennonite pastor and theologian Myron Augsburger says it this way:

the refusal to be judgmental does not mean a refusal to be helpful. But helping one’s brother [or sister] at his [or her] point of need must be done with a spirit of grace and understanding (The Communicator’s Commentary, v. 1, p. 96).

Jesus wants to reframe our imaginations so that we come to see strength in meekness neither as a contradiction nor a paradox, but as the Spirit-inspired way of life so that we can help one another along the hard road and narrow gate “that leads to life.” One encouragement for me in this regard is to read the experiences of the spiritual giants of the church. It is helpful to see what this process looked like in the lives of people who came before me; I’ve found it to be a tremendous gift to have spiritual mentors in my life, even the ones whom I only know through their writings.

Lately, I’ve been reading The Confessions of St. Augustine. Augustine, one of the all-time spiritual giants of the church, was born in what is modern-day Tunisia in the year 354. His mother was a Christian, and as a young adult Augustine gave his life to Christ in earnest, eventually rising to the level of bishop. Augustine was also an intellectual giant who defined and defended orthodox belief in the face of several significant theological controversies that threatened to derail Christianity

The Confessions are one of his most famous writings and are a spiritual biography. In the Confessions, Augustine reviews each segment of his life and to understand the ways his sinful, pre-Christian self disappointed God and caused harm in his own life. At one point he writes,

I wish to bring back to my mind past foulness and the carnal corruptions of my soul. This is not because I love them, but that I may love you, my God. Out of love for your love I do this. In the bitterness of my remembrance, I tread again my most evil ways, so that you may grow sweet to me, O sweetness that never fails, O sweetness happy and enduring, which gathers me together again from that disordered state in which I lay shattered in pieces, wherein, turned away from you, the one, I spent myself upon the many. For in my youth, I burned to get my fill of hellish things. I dared to run wild in different darksome ways of love. My comeliness wasted away. I stank in your eyes, but I was pleasing to myself and I desired to be pleasing to the eyes of men (Confessions, Book 2, Chapter 1).

There is an attitude there we don’t hear too often. But we need to understand that Augustine was neither indulging a guilt trip nor tearing himself down out of a misguided sense of self-loathing. These are the writings of a man who wanted to understand how far Jesus had brought him, and part of that process was in understanding just how far away from God that he really was. He wanted to “take the speck out of his own eye” so that he might be a useful vessel to bring others with him along the path of faithfulness.

Augustine knew how to view himself as a spiritual being with a clear place and role to play in the Kingdom of God. To participate with God in this transformed imagination where strength in meekness is sought after, he was willing to go to great lengths to be pleasing in God’s sight.

When it comes to the amount of conflict we see in the New Testament—and in the church—we really shouldn’t be all that surprised. We’re at different levels of having our imaginations being transformed. One great gift that we have to offer is doing the hard work of removing the specks from our own eyes so that when others stumble—and they surely will—we can come along side in a spirit of meekness and humility to lift them up, not cast them out.

[maiasolaire]

KDramas I Wanna Watch

Dramas recommended to me by friends and/or internet posts.

(Summaries aren’t mine)

1. She Was Pretty

Can you over-romanticize a cherished memory from childhood? Ji Sung Joon (Park Seo Joon) was a shy, porky kid who was constantly teased by the other kids for his rotund shape. When he transfers to a new school in fifth grade and meets Kim Hye Jin (Hwang Jung Eum), the prettiest, most popular girl in school, his life turns around. The kind-hearted Hye Jin becomes his only friend and protector — and they become each other’s first love. But then everything changes when Sung Joon’s family immigrates to the United States and then Hye Jin’s father’s business goes downhill, plunging her family from their previous wealthy lifestyle. But that’s not all! Hye Jin’s beautiful looks initially took after her mother. But as soon as Hye Jin hits puberty, her father’s genetic skin condition takes hold and leaves her with reddish facial scars that makes her resemble a raccoon. Fifteen years later, Sung Joon is a whole new person — dashing and handsome and a successful art director — who is transferred from New York to the Seoul office of “The Most” fashion magazine to work as the deputy chief editor. He tries to find his childhood friend, Hye Jin, again. But embarrassed by her current unglamorous appearance, Hye Jin passes off her best friend, the stunning Min Ha Ri (Go Jun Hee), as herself. But when Hye Jin is suddenly transferred to the magazine department at her new job to work as in intern under Sung Joon, how much longer can she keep her true identity a secret?

2. Descendants of the Sun

Some relationships are fated, despite the challenges of time and place.

Yoo Shi Jin (Song Joong Ki), the leader of a Special Forces unit, meets trauma surgeon Kang Mo Yeon (Song Hye Kyo) in a hospital emergency room after Shi Jin and his second-in-command, Seo Dae Young (Jin Goo), chase down a thief on their day off.

Shi Jin is immediately smitten with Mo Yeon, and he asks her out on a date. But Shi Jin keeps getting called to duty when he is with Mo Yeon, and the two also realize that they have conflicting views about human life (he will kill to protect his country and she has to save lives at all costs). They decide to break off their budding relationship as a result.

Dae Young also tries to break off his relationship with Army doctor Yoon Myeong Ju (Kim Ji Won) because her father, Lt. General Yoon (Kang Shin Il), thinks Shi Jin is a better match for his daughter.

Shi Jin and Dae Young are then deployed to the fictional war-torn country of Urk on a long-term assignment of helping the United Nations keep peace in the area. After repeatedly being passed over for a promotion because of her lack of connections, Mo Yeon gives up performing surgeries, loosening her principles somewhat to become a celebrity TV doctor and caring for VIP patients at the hospital. But when she refuses the sexual advances of the hospital chairman, Mo Yeon is picked to lead a medical team to staff a clinic in Urk! There, Mo Yeon unexpectedly reconnects with Shi Jin.

3. Strong Woman Do Bong Soon

Do Bong Soon (Park Bo Young) comes from a long line of women possessing Herculean strength. But Bong Soon can only use her strength for good; if she uses it for her own personal gain or to mistreat others, she can lose her strength forever like her mother, Hwang Jin Yi (Shim Hye Jin). Bong Soon’s twin brother, Do Bong Ki (An Woo Yeon) did not inherit the unusual family strength and is a doctor, but Bong Soon has trouble finding gainful employment as an aspiring game developer.

When Ahn Min Hyuk (Park Hyung Sik), the young CEO of AIN Software, a gaming company, witnesses Bong Soon’s amazing strength against a group of gangsters one day, he hires her to be his personal bodyguard to help him catch a man who has been making death threats against him. Bong Soon has a secret crush on her childhood friend, In Guk Doo (Ji Soo), a police detective who is trying to capture a dangerous kidnapper in Bong Soon’s neighborhood. Can Bong Soon help both men track down the culprits?

4. While You Were Sleeping

A young woman with bad premonition dreams meets two people who suddenly develop the same ability.

Nam Hong Joo (Suzy) lives with her mother, Yoon Moon Sun (Hwang Young Hee), a widow who runs a small restaurant. Jung Jae Chan (Lee Jong Suk), a rookie prosecutor, and his younger brother, Seung Won (Shin Jae Ha), move in across the street. Since she was young, Hong Joo has had the ability to see bad events before they happen, but she is often unable to do anything about it.

One day, Jae Chan has a strange premonition dream about an accident involving Hong Joo and Lee Yoo Beom (Lee Sang Yeob), a ruthless attorney who used to be Jae Chan’s tutor. Jae Chan decides to interfere in the course of events and ends up saving the lives of Hong Joo and Han Woo Tak (Jung Hae In), a young police officer. When Jae Chan, Hong Joo and Woo Tak then start having dreams about one another, they realize that their lives are now somehow entwined.

But can the three discover the reason that they were brought together, and can they prevent the people closest to them from getting hurt?

5. Just Between Lovers (Rain or Shine)

A building collapse ties the fates of three young people years later. Ten years ago, the S Mall collapsed due to shoddy construction, killing 48 people inside.

Ha Moon Soo (Won Jin Ah) was there with her younger sister, who perished in the accident. Lee Kang Doo (Junho) was there waiting for his father, who was an electrician doing work on the building. Seo Joo Won (Lee Ki Woo) was helping out his father, who was the head engineer of the building. Moon Soo, Kang Doo and Joo Won survived the horrible accident, but their loved ones did not.

Years later, Joo Won is an architect who is working on a new project to replace the former S Mall. With her keen eye for detail and sturdy building construction, Moon Soo ends up working for Joo Won on the project. Kang Doo works odd jobs to get by and ends up working at the new construction site.

How will they each deal with their respective pains as they are reminded of the event that changed all of their lives so profoundly?

6. Father Is Strange

This is one of those things that can disrupt a seemingly normal family. Byun Han Soo (Kim Young Chul) lives on the outskirts of Seoul with his selfless wife, Na Young Sil (Kim Hae Sook). Their bustling lives center around his small diner, “Daddy’s Snack Shop,” and their four adult children, Joon Young (Min Jin Woong), Hye Young (Lee Yoo Ri), Mi Young (Jung So Min) and Ra Young (Ryu Hwayoung).

Joon Young tries not to disappoint his parents as he has been unable to pass the civil service exam for five years. Hye Young is the most accomplished as a successful attorney who has an on-again, off-again relationship with Cha Jung Hwan (Ryu Soo Young), a television producer-director. After years of trying to land a job, Mi Young finally lands her dream job as an intern for Gabi Entertainment, only to discover that her high school bully, Kim Yoo Joo (Lee Mi Do), works there as a team leader. Ra Young works a yoga instructor and falls for Park Cheol Soo (Ahn Hyo Seop), who has absolutely no interest in returning her attention.

The close-knit Byun family is thrown into turmoil when Ahn Joong Hee (Lee Joon), an idol-turned-actor, shows up one day and claims that Han Soo is his father. Joong Hee is widely ridiculed by netizens as a robotic actor, but he is determined to earn respect by landing a role in a highly anticipated miniseries about a father-son relationship. But in order to conjure the emotions needed for the role, Joong Hee decides he needs to get to know the father he believes abandoned him and his mother 35 years ago.

Will Joong Hee’s appearance threaten to reveal a deeply buried secret and otherwise disrupt Han Soo’s happy family life?

7. Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo

What else could there be to life than barbells and heavy weights?

Kim Bok Joo (Lee Sung Kyung) is a weightlifting phenom who has only focused on barbells her entire life while growing up with her father, Kim Chang Gul (Ahn Gil Kang), is a former weightlifter. She attends Hanwool College of Physical Education, a university full of top-notch athletes who are driven to succeed in the hopes of representing their country in national and international competitions.

Bok Joo went to the same elementary school as Jung Joon Hyung (Nam Joo Hyuk) but reunites with him in college. He is now a competitive swimmer who is having trouble recovering from the trauma of being disqualified for a false start in his first international swim competition.

Song Shi Ho (Kyung Soo Jin) is a fiercely competitive rhythmic gymnast who won a silver medal at the Asian Games when she was 18, but the pressures of her sport drive her to break up with Joon Hyung. Bok Joo’s tunnel-vision life starts to change when she falls in love with Joon Hyung’s older cousin, Jung Jae Yi (Lee Jae Yoon), a former athlete who became an obesity doctor after suffering a career-ending injury.

Will Bok Joo learn that there is more to life than weightlifting?

8. Queen In Hyun’s Man

Every actress hopes that an opportunity will come along to play an iconic role that could bring her out of obscurity and make her a star.

For Choi Hee Jin (Yoo In Na), that opportunity is in a television drama playing the role of Queen In Hyun (Kim Hae In), who was deposed during the Joseon Dynasty as King Suk Jong’s (Seo Woo Jin) consort by the scheming actions of Lady Jang (Choi Woo Ri). But Hee Jin’s modern-day world collides with that of her character in ways she doesn’t fully understand.

Kim Boong Do (Ji Hyun Woo), a scholar from the Joseon era, is mysteriously transported 300 years into the future to modern-day Seoul and comes into Hee Jin’s life as she is preparing for her career-making role. Boong Do not only knew the real queen but also supported her reinstatement.

Was Boong Do brought to the future to help Hee Jin bring some authenticity to her role as the queen?

9. Madame Antoine

Can a very observant woman outwit a psychotherapist? Go Hye Rim (Han Ye Seul) operates the Madame Antoine cafe on the first floor of a building that also houses a famous psychotherapy clinic on the top floor. Hye Rim uses her keen intellect and heightened senses to also work as an adviser to psychotherapist Choi Soo Hyun (Sung Joon). But unknown to Hye Rim, Soo Hyun is running a top-secret experiment on her “ideal type of man” with the help of his younger half-brother, Choi Seung Chan (Jung Jin Woon), and clinic employee Won Ji Ho (Lee Joo Hyung). But unknown to Soo Hyun, Hye Rim also is being paid by a mysterious man to get a hold of Soo Hyun’s valuable experiment files. What is Soo Hyun’s true experiment, and will Hye Rim help him or hurt him in his research goals?

10. The Guardians (Lookout)

The Guardians tells the story of a group of people who team up to serve justice themselves after losing their loved ones to criminals. The group consists of a detective, prosecutor, hacker, and an extremely shy person. They want to give these criminals the punishment that they deserve, and take matters into their own hands as the corrupt justice system in South Korea fails to capture the culprits.

11. Circle (Circle: Two Worlds Connected)

A sci-fi mystery drama that takes place in both the year 2017 and the year 2037. In 2007, twin brothers, Kim Woo-jin and Kim Bum-gyun, witness an alien arrival that brings about a huge change in their lives. In 2017, Kim Woo-jin (Yeo Jin-goo), now a college student, notices that a series of suicides in his university is somehow linked to his brother, Kim Bum-gyun (An Woo-yeon). While in pursuit of the case, he meets Han Jung-yeon (Gong Seung-yeon), another college student who is investigating the serial suicides. In 2037, South Korea is now divided into General Earth, a heavily polluted place where crimes are rampant, and Smart Earth, a clean and peaceful city free from crimes. Kim Joon-hyuk (Kim Kang-woo) is a crime detective who tries to get into Smart Earth to investigate a case of twin brothers who went missing in 2017. Each episode contains two parts, the first part is set in 2017 called “Beta Project,” while the second part is set in 2037 called “Brave New World.”

12. The Heirs

The series follows a group of rich, privileged, and high school students as they are about to take over their families' business empires, overcoming difficulties and growing every step of the way.

Kim Tan (Lee Min-ho) is a wealthy heir to a large Korean conglomerate called Jeguk Group.[9] He was exiled to the U.S. by his brother Kim Won (Choi Jin-hyuk), who tries to take control of the family business.[10] While in the States, he meets Cha Eun-sang (Park Shin-hye), who went there to look for her sister.[11] Despite being engaged to Yoo Rachel (Kim Ji-won), a fellow heiress, Kim Tan soon falls in love with Eun-sang. When Kim Tan returns to Korea, his former best friend turned enemy Choi Young-do (Kim Woo-bin) begins picking on Eun-sang to irritate Tan. Tension ensues when Young-do also falls in love with Eun-sang, and Kim Tan is forced to choose between responsibility of pursuing the family business or love.

13. Laughter in Waikiki (Welcome to Waikiki)

The story of three men who come to run a failing guesthouse called Waikiki. Complications spark when their guesthouse is visited by a single mother and her baby.

14. I’m Not a Robot

Kim Min-kyu (Yoo Seung-ho) lives an isolated life due to a severe allergy to other people. He develops extreme rashes that rapidly spread throughout his body once he makes any form of skin contact. Jo Ji-ah (Chae Soo-bin) is a woman who is trying to make it in life by creating her own businesses. However, after an encounter with Min-kyu, she ends up pretending to be a robot in place of the supposed Aji 3 robot. The Aji 3 robot was developed by Ji-ah's ex-boyfriend, professor Hong Baek-kyun (Um Ki-joon) and his team. The robot was meant to be tested by genius Min-kyu, however an accident caused the robot's battery to malfunction. As Baek-kyun modeled the robot after Ji-ah, the team ends up recruiting her to take the place of Aji 3.

15. Because This Is My First Life

House-poor Nam Se-hee (Lee Min-ki) and homeless Yoon Ji-ho (Jung So-min), both unmarried in their thirties, start living together as housemates.

[twh-news]

Hamlet review – lucky few see Tom Hiddleston combine sweet sadness with incandescent fury | The Guardian

4 / 5 stars

By Michael Billington

Jerwood Vanbrugh Theatre, Rada, London Hollywood star shines in limited run production directed by Kenneth Branagh and designed to raise funds for Rada

Few shows are seemingly more exclusive than this. Tom Hiddleston plays the great Dane in a Kenneth Branagh production designed to raise funds for the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art.

Since it runs for three weeks in a 160-seat auditorium and all the seats were long since sold by public ballot, you might expect it to have an air of chi-chi privilege.

Yet the first performance had none of the air-kissing ballyhoo one associates with first nights. If anything, the occasion was remarkable for the traditionalism of Branagh’s production, the romanticism of Hiddleston’s Hamlet and the rapt concentration of the audience.

Hiddleston, as we know from past performances, is an accomplished Shakespearean actor. His Coriolanus was marked by a reckless impetuosity and his Cassio by a quiet grace. Both elements are present in this modern-dress Hamlet.

But, if I had to pick out Hiddleston’s key quality, it would be his ability to combine a sweet sadness with an incandescent fury. He suggests a fierce intellect gnawed by intense melancholy and yet subject to bouts of intemperate rage.

The grief is there from the start. The first thing we see in this production is Hiddleston’s Hamlet sitting at a piano and softly singing to himself “And will he not come again?”: the refrain that Ophelia later applies to her dead dad here becomes Hamlet’s lament for his own father.

Emotion is never far from the surface in this performance. When Polonius takes his leave of Hamlet and the prince says there’s nothing he’d more willingly part with “except my life”, Hiddleston’s sardonic jest turns into a well of unstoppable tears.

It is not, however, a sentimental performance. You notice the self-obsession in this Hamlet who constantly emphasises the first person singular.

There is also a genuine fury which he seems to have inherited from his father. Hiddleston bangs tables and pummels cushions in rage at his failure to achieve revenge.

And when he does finally think he has accomplished the task, by thrusting a dagger through a door that seems to conceal Claudius, Hiddleston leaps about on an ecstatic high only to learn he has murdered the wrong man. There is a genuine danger to this Hamlet as well as a delicacy of soul.

If I dub Branagh’s production “traditional”, it is because it ultimately gives us a vision of Hamlet as a man likely, had he been put on, “to have proved most royal”.

But the production, played by a cast of 10, has its quirky features. James Cotterill’s design, with its white sofas and tall windows, stresses the domestic rather than the political aspect of the play. Sean Foley plays Polonius less as a crafty statesman than as a conscious joker who hands out a packet of contraceptives to his departing son.

Hamlet’s stalwart friend also here becomes Horatia but, although the role is excellently played by Caroline Martin, I started to wonder if their spiritual closeness implied sexual intimacy.

Branagh, who has himself played Hamlet many times and also directed it for the movies, clearly understands the play inside out and gets a range of subtle performances.

One of the best comes from Nicholas Farrell, whose Claudius starts as a wholly plausible, persuasive head of state and then slowly reveals his moral turpitude: I loved the moment when he inquired, in astonishment, “From Hamlet?” as letters arrived from his supposedly murdered nephew.

Kathryn Wilder is a striking Ophelia forcing people at gunpoint into mourning her dead father. And Ansu Kabia plays a sonorous Ghost, a rhetorical Player King and a rapping gravedigger with equal aplomb.

In one way, it is sad that this production will be seen by so few people. But its purpose is to raise money in a good cause rather than to embellish reputations.

And, even if it rarely shocks one into new awareness, it has clarity, swiftness and, in the person of Hiddleston, a compelling Hamlet with a genuine nobility of soul.

[quietstorm360frequency]

**This subconscious and spiritually directed written entry is to illuminate to complete strangers the power of self-discipline, will power, and obedience. In this small space I privately celebrate them on their individual quests for self-betterment, and deposit a seed of encouragement to someone that overlooked the cliché saying “In order to change the world, we must start with ourselves”. To speak of my spiritual journey, and not include that their style of navigating through life inspired my obedience, would be a disservice to the authenticity of this entry. 

I’m forever grateful that my spiritual guidance found me worthy for such connections and granted me access to witness such drastic transformations. I’m forever grateful for my ancestors, the power of a limitless universe and for God knowing me, better than I knew myself. This entry will end, by shining a very bright light on one individual we collectively agreed upon conquering the most with considerably the least of tools. They were authentic on every level, actively supported our union despite the known hardships, understands neutrality and has been a true friend since day #1.***

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Over an herbal anointing ritual… Wifey and I sailed the hour by shedding light on the attributes of our close friends. Although we saturate them all in our love while in person; a huge part of our love language is to celebrate them in their absence. 

Some “Get Yourz” shots were respectfully poured in their honor and detailed highlights were further discussed regarding their silent victories. We genuinely celebrated their executing performances of a fearless work ethic, in the development of their newly created sense of individuality, as well as their blind bravery to reach where they all are, at this current moment. It was demanded that they get dirty and actively do the work, that no one else could do but them...

Those overlooked moments no one saw them choose themselves; have been acknowledged! Moments when they actively decided to display an ascending version of themselves, (they) exercised new methods of self-soothing, challenging their temptations, marinating in their silent triggers and quietly rumbling with their emotions that almost pushed them to reactivate old self sabotaging habits. These graduating moments of self-reflecting and perseverance are inspiring.  

Shoutout to each of them, for the very mute daily self burials they performed. For challenging their strength and resisting the easily accessible pathways that offered comfort-ability to their subconscious. They all poured their blood, sweat and tears in their healing and took the process of developing a new strong foundation of boundaries. They collectively laid to rest ego based decision making, post traumatic coping mechanisms and manifested a version of themselves that is able to create the reality of their deepest desires. The pain in their journey equipped them to no longer be easily angered, vibrate on a higher frequency and supplied them with a fearless perspective. They’re stronger than ever and emotionally intelligent enough to identify with they’ve encountered people who withhold distracting vibrations.

Out of all our close friends who’ve suffered from loss and faced internal struggle fiercely. I give a special shoutout to Tigga. During every stage of his fight he was at times heroically vulnerable, and without question the true definition of authentic. He acknowledged, became accountable, planned, failed, passed and conquered against many odds. His ability to give an honest, detailed and always correct conviction of one’s character will be shared with many when he's gone, and cheerfully discussed for ages beyond. I’m grateful for his brute truth, and his refreshing originality. 

It's been truly enjoyable to watch him work a room from afar these past several years lol...What I’ve always admired was his effortless cavalier but demolition type of demeanor. I love how he walks into every function, always ready to fatally execute his peers' (what is usually to be a) privileged perspectives and their possible expectations of whom he should be or how he should behave. It would be demeaning to his existence to expect him to be less than assertive, self-aware, intellectually opinionated, and/or not ready to artistically verbalize that people only judge others as harshly, as they judge themselves. 

This man indirectly contributed to major shifts in people's lives. In my opinion, Tigg’s mind is aware of the work he put in, but his soul lacks the understanding of how worthy this is to consider celebrating. I think he finds the idea of needing to fully dissect his contributions for other people’s growth boring, and I could fully respect it. Certain people desire to have their ego struck with all the theatrical explanations, and romanticized vivid details. Instead of showing gratitude in their ability to help others without witnessing the “how” factor from a direct set of front row seats.

He’s patient in helping others find the root to their self-Sabotaging habits, and highly relatable when exploring other people’s childhood dysfunction. He assists in locating the tools to further help them growth and healing but has zero tolerance for their constant resistance and excuses. A being that's not big on the idea of verbally announcing his “love” but promisingly acts upon it when others need it. Superheroes don’t always wear capes...sometimes they’re individuals who come from rooted brokenness but equipped with the ability to make others feel whole. 

I don't pity you in any form. I instead celebrate your life's inheritance of wounds, in the very seed of them were your greatest strengths. They’re instead anointed with a level of strength to face repetitious moments of public humiliation, they don’t hide in self-pity, reduce themselves, nor fold under pressure. The tools they’re given to survive are not made for the weak hearted to operate with, or for the perspectival mediocre. 

Continue to unlock levels within yourself, plant seeds, and harvest. 

 We “SEE” you