#new old man
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HOOOOOOOOOO BOY GUESS WHO FOUND OUT COLUMBO HAS A FANDOM ??????????????????????! . IT IS ME I AM THE PERSON WHO DOUNF OUT !!
#NEW OLD MAN#NEW OLD. MAN#NEW OLD MAN !#TIME TO REWATCH COLUMBO EHEHEHHHEHEHEH#MAKE A FANART?????? MAYBE WHO KNOWS AT THIS POINT#columbo
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He’s about to take over my life I just know it.
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I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.
Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:
Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao
this is so stupid :D
Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.
#fanart#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls#book of bill#i watched gravity falls because i was curious about all the Toxic Old Man Yaoi on my dash and wanted context#turns out most of the context was in the book of bill tho lmao#look they either banged or married or both while drunk and i will accept no other possibilities#you don't use the phrase 'and one thing led to another' in a PRIVATE JOURNAL if what happened wasn't salacious in some way#i mean - ford didn't exactly grow up in The Most Inclusive Time Period???#dude was probably like 'gotta use this wording for plausible deniability - NO ONE can know i boinked the talking triangle'#in other news - i must bully the baby billy#don't know how much more GF stuff i'll toss up here but i have a few other little scribbles in the works. probably won't color them tho lol#also don't ask me why bill's bowtie stays where it is despite his “pants” being under it. just. just fucking don't ok???#EDIT: oh and since i see this a lot in this fandom for some reason: DO NOT REPOST THIS PLZ K THX :D
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in fics where luke gets plopped into the prequels i want every jedi within ten metres of him to think hes the weirdest jedi theyve ever seen. he has negative lightsaber form. he doesnt know what a kata is. he handstands when he meditates. his solution to sith is to try and have a chat. hes a political radical who keeps suggesting revolution. you ask him what the jedi code is and he says "kindness and compassion and helping those in need :) ". you ask how he used the force like that and he says some shit about how you are a luminous being limited only by your mind. the councils authority is just a suggestion. he is somehow the new favourite of both qui gon and yoda
#i think he Gets yoda in a way few do bc he knew him as a feral old man in a swamp and not Guy In Charge Of Everything#so he is yodas new best friend#and qui gon hears him talk for five mins and realises his ideal jedi is a real guy that exists#luke doesnt realise how much of a heretic he is okay he is a Luminous Being#luke skywalker#star wars prequels#stat wars original trilogy#sw originals#original trilogy#sw prequel trilogy#sw og trilogy#jedi order#star wars#sw#sw time travel fic#time travel au#the force#yoda#qui gon jinn#i think after a bit plo koon would also be a big fan#lee posts
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don't play around with feral dogboys. don't chain one up to the bedpost and tease it from afar, making it sit on a vibrator while you touch yourself. good lord do not make the most pretty little whimpers and noises as you do it. sooner or later that thing is going to burst out from its chains and tackle you to the ground as it sinks its teeth into your neck. snarling as it tears open your legs and rams its knot into your hole. and god forbid it's strap knot, because the only thing that's gonna stop it is exhaustion. that thing only sees you as a toy, and it's going to fuck you until you break
#old writing new coat of paint#man i hate being anxious i talk all this shit and then irl am like Ouuuh Idont Know... Im Scareed....#t4t nsft#t4t puppy#ftm nsft#ftm puppy#bd/sm puppy#probably yapping
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"It seems you've had quite a life..." - Ema Skye, 6-5 Day 1 Investigation
#apollo justice#ace attorney memes#apollo justice trilogy#aj trilogy#aj trilogy spoilers#soj spoilers#aa4 spoilers#aa6 spoilers#aa memes#ema skye#athena cykes#trucy wright#jove justice#thalassa gramarye#zak gramarye#phoenix wright#dhurke sahdmadhi#amara sigatar khura'in#datz not included bc there was already too many characters and no way that mans straight.#I know I could easily swap him in for Zak or Amara but I needed at least two women to make the joke work I'm sorryyyy#Zak here bc 'Trucy's dad. Yes Trucy is my sister but he's not my dad. Trucy's new dad got custody from her old dad' had to be included#Turbo Divorce
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How their journey started:
How their relationship officially started:
#the emotional range both of them showed was phenomenal#they'd been through enough to believe that they were irredeemable#but their love and support for each other showed them their new beginning#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#wade wilson#james logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#peanutbub#old man yaoi#imagine your otp#otp prompts#writing promt#marvel memes#mcu avengers edits#ryan reynolds#hugh jackman#deadpool x wolverine#mischievous thunder
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Isle of Skye, Scotland / August 2019
Instagram
#mine#having to re-edit old photos cause i've not taken new ones in months#i miss skye#isle of skye#old man of storr#scotland#photographers on tumblr
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Quiet Drive
Pairing: Old Man!Logan Howlett x Reader
Warnings: just reader giving oral so reader’s gender is up to you, implied age age… i mean he’s 200 years old so… mentions of alcohol and intoxication, oral sex (m receiving), using spit as lube, Logan growing hard in your mouth, handjob, deepthroating, smut (18+) please no minors
Summary: Logan likes quiet drives, but there’s only way that can happen when you’re sitting in the passenger seat.
Main Masterlist
DO NOT STEAL MY WORK OR POST ON OTHER PLATFORMS.
“Feels weird,” you comment, breaking the awkward silence in the limousine.
“What does?” Logan asks, keeping his tiresome eyes on the empty road and strong hands on the wheel.
Clicking your seatbelt off, you shift in the passenger seat so your body can face his. You send him a smile when he raises his eyebrow and steals a glance at you. A giggle escape your lips before replying, “Being in the passenger seat.”
Logan, the driver you are building a close relationship with, says nothing and only grunts in response.
Despite his grunt and borderline hostile attitude, you take it as a good sign. You feel his eyes every time you walk to and from his limousine. You notice the way he grips the wheel when you whisper his name sweetly from the back seat. And sometimes you catch his eyes in the mirror looking at you instead of the road when there’s a red light.
He thinks he’s slick. He ignores the way his heart races when you text him an address, or masks his surprise when you shout drunk confessions about your personal problems with a bottle in your hand. He also limits his vocabulary to deep grunts as his version of yes and no. He never adds onto your small talk, but can’t help himself from calling you ‘Sweetheart’. He figures if he ignores you hard enough his tiny crush will go away.
In order to get rid of the silence, your hand reaches over to the radio. Before you can get a hold on the volume, Logan gently smacks your hand away.
“Come on Lo’. A little bit of music doesn’t hurt, right?”
He tries to ignore the nickname and the way the hand that reached for the radio, is now resting on his thigh. His eyes look at your hand on his thigh and he wants to groan when you hand slips a little higher.
“Like it quiet in here,” he huffs, but you think it’s a cover up for the blood slowly making its way to his cock. “Is that a problem?”
“Think so,” you shrug as your eyes fall to his lap.
“Yeah? Why’s that?”
“The only way my mouth is going to be quiet… is if it’s full.”
Your hand migrates to his crotch as you look up to stare at Logan, searching for any signs that maybe you were wrong. Maybe he doesn’t like you and the longing stares are equivalent to the stares you get from your average stranger. Maybe it’s all in your head.
“Sweetheart, do you know what you’re doing?”
The question isn’t a rejection so you waste no time in reassuring him that if he’s willing, you will treat him for every ride he has given you.
“‘Course I do. Will you let me?” You ask, eyes wide and filling with hope.
His face is mean, which scares you into thinking that you have offended him with your attempt to get into his pants and get your mouth on him. However his furrowed eyebrows that emphasize his wrinkles relax as he lets out a chuckle. His broad shoulders shrug, his way of telling you, ‘suit yourself.’
The empty road eases your worries of an accident and you trust Logan’s steady hands before you undo his zipper. You tug at his pants and he awkwardly helps you lower them enough so your hand can palm his dick.
“Wanted you for so long,” you confess, resting your cheek on Logan’s thigh.
You smile sweetly when you hear a quiet hiss the moment your fingers slip beneath his underwear. Your fingertips tangle themselves in the grey hairs leading up to his cock before they hook and tug his underwear down. Logan laughs at the way a line of drool escapes your lips and falls onto his lap, but that laughter is cut off when your eyes meet his and you lick a wet stripe on the palm of your hand. Your wet hand grabs a hold of his semi-hard length.
“Sorry. It can take a while,” He apologizes.
He isn’t as young as he used to be. He has scars that linger on his skin for weeks before they finally fade. His body aches when he wakes up in the morning and he finds himself needing a second cup of coffee before he can drive his first client. He also needs an extra minute in situations like these, despite it rarely happening since he been living his secret life.
“I’m an old man now.”
“I think you’re hot.” You say so bluntly he almost believes you. You wanted to work for his pleasure so it was a win-win situation in your eyes. “Plus, we have more than enough time.”
The address you sent is an hour away so you brush off his words as you hold his semihard-on in your hand; he’s heavy in your sticky hand and it makes you ache. With an experimental lick, you taste him.
His grip on the steering wheel tightens when a soft wine escapes your lips. He steals a quick glance and catches the way you wet your lips before you wrap them around his cock.
Mindful of your teeth, you work your mouth on him and sigh softly when you can feel him. Your dry hand remains on his thigh and you want to giggle when he shifts under your touch drawing small shapes on his flexing quad. Your wet hand works itself up and down, alternating between a tight and loose grip. You work slowly as you mostly use your mouth to warm his growing inches. Instead of pulling off completely when you need air, you carefully move cock so his tip is pressed against the inside of your cheek. After a couple of breaths you focus on warming his spit-soaked cock and repeat the process.
Slowly, he grows heavier and thicker in your mouth. You feel the slight stretch in your jaw and the weight of him on your wet tongue. You’re mesmerized when you finally pull away and let your spit drip down and pool at his base. His cock glistens with every passing street light and suddenly Logan is missing the warmth of your mouth; his hips buckle and curses at his seatbelt pinning him down.
Instead of teasing him, you hold his cock in your hand and press the head of his cock against your lips. Your lips kiss his tip, smearing his precome over your lips. A line of his sticky come stretches over your parted lips when you take in your mouth again. The sight is sinful and has the old man question how the hell he is still driving straight.
“Fuck, you’re filthy.”
His words make you smile. The hand wrapped around him tightens as your drooling tongue licks over the vein on his cock. Logan turns into a leaking mess, especially when you work your closed fist on his cock. His groans slip past his lips and his foot on the gas pedal feels heavier.
“Gotta careful or you’re gonna make me pull over.”
His comment only spurs you on as you suck his leaking tip and let your hand jerk his cock. Your empty hand finds itself gripping his thighs when your mouth takes more of him. Your lips struggle to stretch over his cock and you hold off a gag when his cock slowly reaches the back of your throat.
“Shit!”
His loud curse makes you pull off his cock. Mindful not to end his pleasure, you work your hand over his wet cock. The mix of both your spit and his come let your hand glide over his cock and fill the car with soft squelching sounds.
“Thought you liked when it’s quiet?” You ask teasingly.
The question makes Logan chuckle. Adjusting his hold on the wheel, he uses his free hand to scratch at his greying, thick beard. “You’ve got a mouth on you, sweetheart.”
“In more ways than one,” you playfully wink before you let him stretch your mouth open.
The noises of your mouth swallowing his cock paired with Logan’s heavy breathing fill the limo and you feel yourself squirming with need. Your knees ache from holding your weight and the middle armrest digs into your stomach. It’s uncomfortable but worth every moan that escapes Logan’s mouth. It’s only fair you get to hear his sounds of pleasure after dealing with his grumpy attitude.
“Sweetheart, gotta keep your keep your head down,” he whispers suddenly.
Not fully catching his words, you try to pull off his cock to ask him to repeat himself, but his strong hand shoves you back on his cock. Tears build in your eyes when his cock hits the back of your throat. Your nails dig into his thigh and suddenly your nose is brushing against his grey hairs.
“Just a little longer. Stay down.” Logan’s voice is uneven as the grip on your head tightens, keeping you down.
You don’t question, instead you accept it. Shutting your eyes you try your best to calm your breathing. Your tongue licks his cock the best it can with your mouth being so full. The hand that was gripping the base of his cock slips down to his balls.
It takes every bit of strength in Logan to not look down. To not pull you off his cock and kiss you until his lungs ached. Instead he prays he doesn’t come down your throat and tries to drive past the car driving in the opposite lane.
One hand grips the wheel while the other holds your head down to swallow his cock. His windows are tinted, but the asshole driving has his high beams and could easily see you if he just looked over. He is careful to not draw any attention to his lap despite him knowing no stranger would be that noisy. Still he doesn’t want to take the risk.
Or maybe this was his excuse to feel the back of your throat. To feel the way you swallow his cock and struggle to breathe.
“Almost gone, love.” His words are encouraging and have you wondering if you want Logan to whisper sweet nothings into your ear on a regular basis.
The lights are blinding when the car finally passes them and once the road is clear Logan’s grip on your head is gone. Logan expects you to pull off, take a breath, instead you stay. Your nails digging into his thigh only dig harder, but you focus on his pleasure and reach to softly squeeze his balls.
“F-fuck.” His curse is his only warning and suddenly Logan is spilling into your mouth.
Feeling lightheaded, you finally pull away. A loud gasp fills the car and you’re quite a sight. Your eyes are teary, mouth is glistening with both your spit and his come to the point you have your mixture drooling onto your chin.
You let your hand do the rest of the work as you tug at his leaking cock. You let out a giggle when your thumb swipes over his tip and bring that thumb to taste him before looking up at the man who looks like he went to heaven and came back.
His mouth opens to say something, but he’s having trouble. His mind tells him to thank you, but his heart tells him to confess his feelings, but that would be cheesy, right? Luckily he keeps his mouth shut and you break the silence.
“Hey Logan?”
He lets out a relaxed yet nervous sigh before humming.
“Pull over, I’ve always wanted to have sex in a limo.”
He scoffs, but you see the blush on his cheeks and hear his emergency lights turn on. He checks his blind spot over his shoulder smiling when he confesses, “Gonna kill me, sweetheart.”
“But you like me.”
He’s speechless for second before he agrees, “Yeah, love, I like you.”
No pressure tags but also just a few of my favorite writers for Logan! Hopefully yall have seen me in your comments! If not i will comment even more! I love your works <3 @eupheme @mrsimpurity @tojigasm @moonlight-prose @ozarkthedog
More Logan Content
#first time writing for Logan#whether or not youre a new reader thank you for giving me a chance!#i hope you like it#type: smut#char: logan howlett#logan howlett#logan howlett smut#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x reader smut#xmen#old man logan#marvel#logan 2017#wolverine#wolverine smut#wolverine x reader#wolverine x reader smut#hugh jackman#wlwloverwrites#wlwloversfics
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#courier dialogue#fnv#fallout new vegas#fallout#yes man#i love what internet has done to old people sometimes
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a snippet of conversation
#this was drawn before the book came out so i didnt get to draw fiddlefords silly new glasses#such a shame. i like the old man glasses on him honestly#scribbles#gravity falls#ford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#long post
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So you just want to see old mens fat stomachs out all over the place?
yes
#bro are you new here? this is the old man fucker and dad bod appreciation blog. this sounds like heaven.#asks#dilfphobia
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i like how mumbo has barely said anything about his base theme this season. he built the mothball and then spent four episodes dicking around. icon
#the new hermits: building masisve impressive cities and such#old man mumbo: places about 45 blocks then spends the rest of his basebuilding time trying to find a llama#hermitblr#hermitcraft#hermitcraft 10#mumbo jumbo
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bub
#new dp movie inspired me to draw my fave short old hairy grumpy old man#wolverine#logan howlett#marvel comics#x men#x men comics#my stuff
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—
#disco elysium#kimharry#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#continuation of me brainrotting while trying out new brushes#i'm really happy that the old man yaoi enjoyers out there are gaining something from my brainrot
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hina... have you ever drawn nanami & yuji. pls i need to see them. my reluctant mentor and ray of sunshine. maybe eating together after a mission
cleaned up this request doodle from a while ago <3
#my art#answered#anonymous#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#nanami kento#yuji itadori#jujutsu kaisen fanart#sorry for getting to this so late anon :'<<<<#also sorry the art technically isnt new shkdg i tried to come up w a different setting fr them#thought abt them going fr ramen or something ? like an izakaya scene#but i wasnt happy w any of my sketches n took the easy way out gomen gjdghjj#i hope u still like the cleaned version!#well . “clean” gjhgssgj yuuji sweetie do u need a napkin#both of these pastries r based off ones we sold at the bakery i used to work at#u know . the one that put me into a 7 month depressed artblock n made me want to kms/srs#and speaking from experience. those filled croissants r not user friendly#crumbs + cream + fruit + syrup drizzle + chocolate...all EVERYWHERE smh#also nanami's looks like a cookie but it's not i promise. it is a raisin danish bc he has th palette of an old man at 27
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