#new hilarious spelling suggestions

[omgpurplefattie]

I see GDocs' "die fishing" and raise you Ellipsus' Feisheng => Feigling (German for 'coward') as a hilarious mangling of the guy's name when trying to write fanfic about him.

I am trying to write fanfic in German, for an audience of perhaps two, just out of sheer bloody-mindedness.

I can't help imagining DFS being offended at Ellipsus for calling him a coward, threatening the nice support guy from Ellipsus who helped me with my spellcheck problem in the middle of Sunday (even though their chatbot very sensibly had told me that a human would be available again on Monday) with his Dao...

[m4rs-ex3]

ALLLL RIGHTY YALL

if u haven't already seen.............. guys i was late i was fucking late for the panel give me a break

BUT here is a play by play of everything from the second i got in

[A GOOD CHUNK OF THE SECRET SCENE] if you saw this post within the first few *hours you got to see but you know what? they got to me i don't wanna be the snitch (i did on accident but its the though that counts)

opeli is being led blindfolded (which we see from opeli's pov. riveting visuals i tell you) by soren to the ✨secret meeting location✨

when she comments on the fact that it is literally just callum's office soren shuts her up bless him

opeli's like "DID BAIT GIVE BIRTH??!?!?" and soren's like no these are "rescue baits" and opeli gives them the greatest fucking look i can't even describe it to you

you've seen that leak "look it's the pearl :D""WHA""yep he's in there :)))))"

rayla says it like "per-al." just thought you should know

soren suggests forming a Fellowship of the Pearl and going to throw it into a volcano i fucking hate this show

they're all debating what to do with it meanwhile the most cryptic-ass shots of callum with the pearl like we get it he's fucked (i take it back i want more)

they finally get to him and he's like "uh????? destroy it obviously?????"

he suggests--and these are 100% his words (not actually cuz u know but its the general idea)--"smash it? throw it off a cliff? take a big ol axe and just--KA CHOP." i love him so much

rayla asks how they know it won't just release him

the way callum is so confused and conflicted and he just says "i... i don't know" oh my god by precious baby

cool ass top-down to the pearl whirlpool esq transtion into the next scene hello??

zym is being emo at a painting of his mother (the one from 4x03 yeah they just stitched that shit up it's all good)

ezran's like. huh. we oughtta do smth abt this

callum is Thinking Thoughts on the turrets(?? yk where soren does his lunges) and tossin the rune cube when he sees the star rune light up......................................

it's stella stella's there and the way he reacts to her is so precious 😭 he's not the step dad he's the dad who stepped up type shit

enter rayla "they told me u would be up here brooding"

(in a tragic turn of events the rayllum of this scene had my brain fuzzy so i can't remember a few chunks here and there have pity my brain has rotten)

callum's like "we have to do something i'm scared he's gonna use me. i know what we need to do ok we need to go to the starscraper"

it's honestly hilarious the way he says "and *WE.* should go" he's like "don't be gettin any ideas now this is an us thing"

and then ohoho "they have something there for you, too" (THAT was an exact quote)

he's like "PLSPLSPLS i've studied star magic i know the spells i know the runes i just need the quasar diamonds!! LET ME FREE UR PARENTS AND RUNAAN PLEAAAASSSSEEEE"

rayla is veryyyyyy opposed she's like "NO i want to help my parents as much as you"--honestly i don't think ANYONE wants to as much as him--"but i don't want my biases to affect that" BIASES?!??!! like that was the word she used i can't stop thinking about it

zym has entered his wolf child era his ass is HOWLING at the moon

soren hears him and goes "aww little guy misses his mom :((( sometimes i wonder where my mom is...." WHAT AWHAT WHAT AWHAT PJARDON SAY IT AGIAN YOU WAHGTS SAY IT AGIAND HUAH HUWH A

ok. yeah callum does not have pajamas BUT I THINK WE HAVE BIGGER ISSUES HERE????????????? HE WAS SLEEPING IN HIS OFFICE

THAT COUCH THING THAT THEY WERE ON WHEN RAYLA CAME BACK IN 4x03???? HES JUST SLEEPING ON IT I CANT MY GUY WHAT R U DOINGGG

in other news

bruv is tossing and turning and then just. ~stops.~ this can only mean good things (i think you know where i'm going with this)

he sits up. hobbles over to the door. there was a really cool transition (can u tell i respect the cinematography) and he's in the cellar holding the pearl.

he wakes up in aaravos' prison and is like "well this looks neat!" until he sees the mirror and screams and wakes up. when he realizes where he is he goes "what have i done" dude you fell asleep?? god he's never sleeping again (<- me when i lie 😈)

the description we got of this next scene did NOT do it justice it was fucking incredible

callum kicks down the fucking door (not actually) screaming for rayla

rayla TUMBLES OUT OF BED ON TO THE FLOOR, pillows in hands and unafraid to use them

"WHOA. HEY HEY ITS OKAY ITS ME! it's just me rayla. it's me. callum" i feel like he was saying the same 5 words for 7 hours it was beautiful

rayla: "callum?? jeez i could have-" *looks at pillows*

callum giggles the cutest fucking giggle and says something along the lines of "yeah, it would've hurt real bad :)"

oh yeah DE-LAYERED PONYTAIL RAYLA CONFIRMEDED??!?!?!?!?!

she sits back on the bed and my guy KNEELS DOWN AT THE CORNER OF THE BED TO PICK UP HER STUFF BEFORE HE SITS DOWN NEXT TO HER and they say chivalry is dead romance was birthed and ended with this scene

he tells her about it and she goes "callum, you're exhausted. you had a nightmare. if i thought you were in any real danger you know i would-" and then ironically i forget the same line that the person from nycc did wouldja look at that

can i just mention how close they were sitting in this scene i mean i jsut thikn i should mention hwo clo

yada yada he has a lightbulb and runs off with her blanket

the iconic "i know stella.. he took our blankie :("

god knows why barius is up in the middle of the night whispering sweet nothings to his jelly tarts

callum comes in with a certain proposition mwuhahaha

rayla comes into his office and sees his aesthetic ass sewing by fireside and graciously says "ah i get it! you're taking your mind off things by peacefully knitting" so iconic for both of them

callum explains that he's stitching runes to create a protection spell when barius comes in with the """"""""pearl""""""""""

rayla DIVES in front of callum and says "what r you doing get that thing AWAY from him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she got SO protective SO fast it was blessed

callum's like au contraire 😈

ok so obviously we had all heard about the fake pearl but. you know that one guy who makes insane sculptures out of nothing but chocolate? that's what they did the pearl is brown sludge with a candy coating 💀 i'm losing my mind that is so funny to me

so yeah with the decoy out the real pearl is protected by--and callum literally said this--"a magic blankie >:)"

he also pops in to tell ez and omg GUYS BAIT HAS HIS OWN LITTLE ROYAL CANOPY BED ITS SO FUCKING CUTE

dawn in the courtyard--ez is saying goodbye to soren, zym, and pyrrah who are going to look for zubeia (i almost just typed zendaya i need sleep) and callum and rayla who r going to the starscraper

my roman empire is this: callum was acting all eepy and then when they get going hE RESTS HIS HEAD ON RAYLA'S BACK AND FALLS ASLEEP. I CANNOT FUCKING MAKE THIS UP IT WAS PHENOMENAL SHE LOOKED SO FUCKING HAPPY I I I I I I HAKJSDHFKJASHFDKJHSADKFHKJASHFIHASEKFH

on a slightly lower note

scene from teaser except they did cut a couple lines in the teaser. mainly just terry going "didn't see you there,, cuz i was asleep. with my eyes closed"

he does not in fact get impaled but claudia tells him she's gonna leave him first and does just that

as she's going omfg terry's cries and pleas and "I LOVE YOU"s and "I WILL WAIT. I WILL WAIT HERE FOR YOU" was absolutely insane idk what was in the air in that recording studio but shout out to ben

i am so tired goodbye!

[littleplantfreak]

That's our baby

The first time you call you and Umemiya's dog 'your son'

SFW ig but a little suggestive at the end. Also I wasn't gonna name the dog but then I was like "Fuck it! It's Balto now"

Umemiya Hajime

"Baby I can explain-"

"You can explain why our son has a bowl cut?" You fume pointing at your two year-old Samoyed's misshapen head. He sits politely on the couch showcasing his new haircut, which normally you'd find hilarious because usually he can't settle down when you first get home. Apparently, though, he can tell when his father is getting scolded.

"Okay, first of all, I love you so much, and I love that you just called him our son because he is our son and-"

"I love you too. Skip to the bowl cut." He can tell by your stance, you're pretty mad.

"...Our normal groomer quit, and I couldn't find anywhere else to take him to," your husband breaths out in defeat before continuing. "I figured if I found a good video online, it would be easy. It was easy until he sneezed while I was trimming his face and three inches came off instead of one. He'd look weird if there was just a hunk off the side of his face, so I evened it out and it ended up like...this?" He says before crouching down and squishing his cheek next to your dog's. "C'mon he's kinda cute like this! He's our baby; he's always cute no matter what," he tries to appeal to your soft side by giving you the same puppy eyes your dog is giving you, and it almost works.

"The other dogs at the dog park are gonna make fun of him," you grimace, and at the sound of the word 'park,' your baby's ears perk up. He starts lifting and stomping his front paws gently, trying to behave but so excited that he might be going outside. Hajime lets out a dramatic gasp, hand to his chest before saying telling you that's blasphemy.

"He's friends with everyone at the park. There's no way they'll make fun of him just because of a silly haircut! Daddy thinks your friends are gonna love it, my little marshmallow." He starts squishing your dog's cheeks and speaking to him in the baby voice he saves especially for him.

Upon hearing 'park' for the second time, he starts whining and pawing at Hajime's arm. "Balto, honey, let's go for a walk." You pat your leg before grabbing the leash, and he bounds over to you, leaving his Father to pout on the couch with a quiet 'traitor' mumbled under his breath. "Haji, call Toma and ask if his cousin is still taking new clients. I'm pretty sure she grooms both dogs and cats," you say, going over to press a chaste kiss to his mouth, only for him to pull you in for a longer one, tongue swiping against your bottom lip and you almost lean in for more. Until you feel a wet nose press up against your cheek and you snort instead. Drawing back, Balto tries to get even closer to give you both his own flurries of kisses.

"See, he doesn't like when we fight! We have to get along for our baby's sake," he smiles letting your dog taste his entire face. You put one more kiss on his cheek before walking to the door.

"If you can't find a groomer by his playdate on Tuesday, you're getting a matching haircut. If you do find one, though, I'll wear that new outfit we got at the mall the other day. Y'know the one you almost ruined when we were in the dressing room? I'll let you ruin it for real this time," and you can see he's speechless now, head full of the red lacy thing that was more ribbon than clothing, that opens just like a present if you pull the right strings. Closing the door, you shoot Hiragi a text to let him know Hajime will be calling in the next few minutes and to get his stomach medicine ready, apologizing in advance for the hour long phone conversation he'll be subjected to. For now, you and your son have a walk to go on.

(I'm waaay to tired to triple check for spelling/grammar so I hope I got everything. I'm doing the same prompt but with Sakura next I think uwu)/ and then Sugishita as well...probably...maybe.)

[ahlyasimps]

Sebastian Sallow Headcanons

A/N: Prefer the way I wrote these headcanons to my Ominis ones.

✧ Totally the type to drag you out on some adventurous dates. Sebastian is a thrill-seeker who loves exploring dangerous places, so he might take you on a midnight broomstick ride to the forbidden forest or hocus pocus your way through a poacher camp. He might also challenge you to a game of Quidditch or suggest sneaking out of Hogwarts to visit a nearby village.

✧ Despite his daredevil and bullheaded nature, Sebastian is also a bookworm who enjoys reading about ancient magic and history. He needs to find a cure for Anne after all and some of the books he read genuinely sparked a passion for reading in him. He might take you to the Hogwarts library and show you his favourite books, or ask you about your opinion on wizarding history and magical beasts.

✧ Sebastian is known to be a shameless flirt and someone who can charm the pants off anybody but it’s a mask to hide a boy desperate to protect those he holds dear. This might make it challenging to get to know him at first. However, as you spend more time together, he might reveal his deeper thoughts and emotions, giving you a glimpse into his complex personality.

✧Sebastian has a sarcastic sense of humor and a love for puns/dad jokes, which can be both hilarious and infuriating at the same time. He enjoys banter and witty exchanges, and he loves to make his partner laugh.

✧ Sebastian is interested in the darker aspects of magic, he taught himself the Unforgivables after all. He needs someone who can understand this and not hesitate to pull him back when he goes too far. This could lead to some interesting conversations or debates about the ethics of magic (”how is a painless death from Avada Kedavra banned but burning someone alive with incendio isnt?” he likes to say). You’re the best person for this after all since the Unforgivables aren’t as taboo for someone so new to this magical world. He feels like he can have a genuine conversation with someone about it without being painted as the bad guy straight away.

✧ Despite his chill demeanor, Sebastian is fiercely loyal to his friends and loved ones. He might joke around and tease you in public, but he'll defend you and stand by your side when it counts. He might also show his protective side by teaching you defensive spells in the Undercroft or offering to walk you back to your dormitory after a late-night adventure. He refuses to let even a scratch land on you.

✧ Sebastian is a bit of a romantic at heart, even if he doesn't always show it. He might surprise you with a handmade gift, a poem he wrote just for you (which is about as bad as you’d expect it to be), or a surprise date that he planned with meticulous attention to detail. He wants to make you feel special and appreciated, even if he doesn't always know how to express it.

✧ Ultimately, dating Sebastian would be a whirlwind of adventure, mystery, and complex emotions, with plenty of opportunities for growth and exploration.

[lavaflowe]

JTTW BOOK CLUB

CHPT 7-9

@journeythroughjourneytothewest

Chpt 7

•”All this was probably refined in his stomach by the Samadhi fire to form a single solid mass” I know other deities can use the fire but I’m wracking my brain for when it used before(this point) specifically- My understanding was the furnace refined the immortal elixirs and fruit- I’m going to assume Laozi is just theorizing and doesn’t know what actually happened

•Diamond body….👀

•Erlang gets absolutely DRIPPED out, he earned it FR

•eyes permanently irritated by the smoke churned up the the Xun trigram, someone get this man some eye drops

•he is extra pissed

•HE JUST BODIES LAOZI IM YELLING😂

•”this cosmic being fully fused with nature’s gifts passes with ease through 10,000 toils and tests”

•Big war form out to beat serious ass, he’s not jokin bitch

•” bright and luminous; ….illustrious pearl of mani he is indeed” MMMMM comparing him to a mani- a flaming (wish granting) jewel is hilarious 💀

•Tathagata bringing in the big guns (himself)

•”how tf do you know The Way and not know who I am?? And you’re so….violent” I can sense the side eye

•I wonder if Wukong has previous incarnations?? Buddha says he just reached human form this incarnation but if his rock was there at the beginning of creation, wouldn’t his soul be ‘baking’ (for lack of a better term) the whole time until he hatched?

•” and with a total lack of respect he left a bubbling pool of monkey urine” Iconic moment LMAOOOO

•smart for Wukong to leave a momento- too bad it didn’t matter lol

•ah so he was jumping to visit the pillars again, not run away(supposedly)- he’d rather prove he’s right than escape💀 that checks out

•monkey has been squished, it is now party o’clock

•are you allowed to give the Buddha drugs if it’s an offering? Like wine??🤔 “wtf is this allowed? Wtf”

•”Wukong is wiggling out”

“Dw, take this”

*slaps tag on the mountain like flex tape*

•enough room to breathe and move his hands- I would lose my mind

•Molten copper & iron pellets mimic punishments in hell (just learned this🙏), shedding the Karma like water -I feel like 500 years is pretty good tbh considering everything

Woe molten metal and iron upon ye

Chpt 8 + 9 under cut:

Chpt 8:

•lots of lovely poems in this chapter

•a paragraph recap of the past 7 chapters

•wonder what Feast of the Ullambana Bowl is? (the notes say it’s a mass for the dead and is also know as the Ghost festival, practiced by Taoists and Buddhists)

•”the Chan mind shines bright like a thousand rivers’ moon; true nature’s pure and great as an unclouded sky.”

Lovely poem, and I’m beginning to realize this book is very heavily focused on the Chan school, which I don’t know why I didn’t pick up on sooner? White-Robed Guan Yin is a Chan specific form, usually depicted in their bamboo grove

•Tathagata reveals his 3 baskets of scripture after everyone is done presenting their poems, feels almost like he suggested the celebration to announce these

•Each basket corresponds to scriptures of Heaven, Earth, and the Damned- a total of 15,144 FUCKING SCROLLS

•oooo Guanyin poem!! “ a golden body filled with wisdom, fringes of dangling pearls and jade, …dark hair piled smartly in a coiled-dragon bun. With brows of new moon shape and eyes like two bright stars, her jadelike face beams natural joy. …Her orchid heart delights in green bamboos; her chaste nature loves the wisteria. The living Guanyin from the Cave of Tidal Sound.”

•5 Talismans: Embroidered Cassock that will protect him from falling back into the Wheel of Transmigration, a 9 ring priestly staff that will protect him from poison or harm, 3 tightening fillets- the Golden, the Constructive, and the Prohibitive Spell.

•Guanyin thinks this will take about 2 to 3 years💀 hooooo boy….

•FLOWING SAND RIVER!!! MY 2ND FAV BOY!!!

•Green and Black complexion, Gleaming eyes like the lights beneath a stove, forked mouth with teeth like knives and swords, and disheveled red hair

•like that Wujing is using a priest staff he def took from one of the monks he ate lol

•Wujing fighting Moksa for his life only to drop everything to apologize and talk to Guanyin LMAO

•MOKSA PICKS HIM UP BY THE COLLAR AKFKAKDJDJ

•ah, so Wujing didn’t reincarnate, he was changed, STABBED OVER 100 TIMES EVERY 7 DAYS AND FORCED TO COMMIT CANNABILSM SO HE DOESNT STARVE AS PUNISHMENT- THATS JUST LOVELY😭

•I like the interpretation that he could have been trying to signal a coup by breaking the crystal cup

•Guanyin hearing about Wujing’s string of skulls: it’s a surprise tool that will help us later

•BAJIE TIME

•this idiot bro “HOW DARE YOU TRY TO GET FLOWER PETALS IN MY EYES!!” “IDIOT THAT WAS GUANYIN” “…Guanyin is here??” “LOOK UP”

•Wuneng is reincarnated, he got beat to death in Heaven for hitting on Chang’e LMAOOOOO GET REKT

•ah yes, casually mentions killing his pig family and then his life of eating humans. Lovely.

•AO LIE TIME

•I committed a little accidental arson, please bail me out

•Damn, he got a really short intro

•interesting that Guanyin id’s the Peach Banquet as Wukongs fall from grace. I would def agree with this- eating the peaches like he did was extremely reckless and the beginning of the end imo

•”who tf is talking shit up there”

•No one has ever visited Wukong, I’m guessing the Guards were horrible company

•I like how both Guanyin and Sanzang try to give Wukong a religious name- Guanyin is very happy to hear he has the Wu- prefix as well lol

•arrived in Chang’an, let the hunt begin

Chpt 9:

•Chang’an bb, all blooming flowers surrounded by 8 rivers (DAMN, that’s a lot of water)

•Guangrui got first place in the examination, good for him UwU

•SURPRISE WIFE

•”gave the girl to Guangrui as his bride” UM I THINK SHES THE ONE WHO GRABBED HIM LMAO

•Guangrui has some fated beef with these two random boatmen, Liu Hong and Li Biao- states that he was destined in a previous incarnation to be enemies with them, is this a result of bad karma?

•NOOOOOO MY GUY GUANGRUI

•Liu Hong reminds me of Liu’er Mi-*gunshot*

•since they’re at the bottom of the Hong river, which Dragon King is this?

•Golden Carp coming in clutch, nice

•LADY YIN IS SO METAL LETS GO “she hated the bandit so bitterly that she wished she could devour his flesh and sleep on his skin” DO IT GURL, KILL HIM

•damn, too bad she’s pregnant with Sanzang….dw Girl I know you would kick his ass otherwise…

•there goes his toe…

•get named River Float idiot

•damn bro chill, that wasn’t very monk-like of you

•homie got called an orphan and cried JAKDJSJFJ I FEEL BAD

•she didn’t even check the toe I THOUGHT SHE DID- WHAT WAS THE POINT LMAO

•nvmnd

•I guess licking the eyes is better than spitting on them…sigh…

•GODDAMN THEY RIPPED LIU HONG AND LI BAIO APART….good for them, deserved in fact

•Lady Yin committing suicide even after she was reunited with her husband makes sense, as there was a trend where wives whose husbands died or they were assaulted, killed themselves. This was show loyalty to their husbands and add weight to their claim of SA- Lady Yin’s husband coming back does not change the fact that everyone knows she was forcefully married :((

(I use the term ‘trend’ only as a way to describe the rise and fall in wife suicides tied to either a husbands death or as a response to SA)

[loweya-blog]

Slidey Socks Part 2

(SFW fluff, Using @synsc original AU here, please give them support!)

(Part 1)

Child MC was bored, so they put on their socks and slid around on the floors. How do the other characters react?

Diavolo

He is absolutely delighted by this game! The prince couldn’t help but admire MC’s creativity for these new ideas. When Barbatos’ back is turned, he picks up MC and finds the widest halls with the smoothest floors. He gets his own socks on and slides with MC down the grand halls, dodging the castle staff as he slides. Hearing the sound of MC’s laughter makes it all worth it when he’s sentenced to an hour-long lecture from Barbatos, and possibly Lucifer if he found out. 

Barbatos

The demon is conflicted. At one point Diavolo racing down halls in slippery socks with a CHILD at high speeds isn’t precisely safe. Not to mention Diavolo’s size means he’ll break things when he crashes into them or accidentally knock over the staff if he isn’t careful. But…. he had to admit it looked like fun. So he let them do it, deciding to save the lectures afterward. If MC asked him to join in, he would have no choice but to do so. After all, it was adorable MC who was asking. 

Simeon

Also hesitant to allow this fun. However, after some convincing, he would be willing to join in after he safety-proofed the house and made sure that nothing could get damaged. Then he would get on his own socks and slide around slowly with MC and Luke. Eventually, the angel would go faster and enjoy it a bit more, even doing a few tricks and jumps. 

Luke

He loved this new human game! Sliding around the halls in socks sounded like fun! The angel even put on some cute doggy socks to join in. Of course, if any demon suggested the game he probably would have scolded them for being unsafe. But since it was MC who suggested it, he had no problems with the idea. The angel simply took MC’s hand and slid with them down the Purgatory Hall, falling only once or twice. 

Solomon

Made a spell to help them race faster and the hall longer. He finds the whole thing absolutely hilarious and fun, curious to see how far this could go. Safety? What’s that? Solomon is more than willing to race around with MC, even making cute little bears and stuffed animals come to life to make a little sliding performance for them to watch. It’s fun but leaves a huge mess in Purgatory Hall, which an angry Simeone forces him to clean up afterward. 

Thirteen 

(I’m adding her cause she’s my fav)

Thirteen was caught off guard when she saw MC and Solomon sliding into one of her traps. Luckily the trap was a basic one that only splattered people with octopus ink but still! After chewing out Solomon, she promptly picked up MC and walked off with them in a huff. She took them back to HOL but when MC asked for her to slide around, she accepted. After they were done racing each other and chasing each other around HOL, she crashed on the couch with MC curled up next to her. 

@synsc @demon-master-zero @lucifersloveydoveyhomie

[missingexaltation]

Eddie has now 'gifted' Hellfire to Will as he's not returning to high school, graduating on a technicality. However, he suggests to the new DM that they play a one off over the summer (to get Will used to the group's dynamics, and so he can say goodbye to his little sheepies in style).

But he gets to play with them too, at Will's insistence, as Eddie's DM'd for so long he never really gets a chance to be a PC. Eddie's character is a bard that the group meet, playing in a tavern and magically enslaved by the innkeeper. Because of the spell, he has no memory of who he is, except that he's a bard.

(Which works meta wise too, as Eddie might have knowledge on the DM side...but he's a bit shaky as an actual player. it's been a while after all)

The Party take pity on him, breaking his bondage by brutally killing the innkeeper and bringing him along. He's lower than everyone else in most stats, except for charisma, which he's insanely high for. And since as they're off to find a hidden God to convince him to come back to his people...that high charisma would come in handy.

At the end of the one shot, it seems like the God they face, concentrates damage on the person physically closest to him, which is Eddie's character. Eddie gets brutally taken down until the team drag him away, and revive him. (Eddie makes some snarky comments about the new DM staking his claim by annihilating the old DM and the party finds it hilarious)

But the God keeps aiming for the bard, until Eddie is at zero, then he goes after Dustin...the mage...who is technically the most powerful on the team and nowhere near the God in comparison to the others. Then when Dustin goes down, it's their paladin next...and the group start to freak out.

Eddie passes his death save roll, heals himself and is almost immediately taken down again. The party realise pretty quickly that it's not proximity that is the issue, and that the God is taking out the most powerful first. But Eddie's bard is one of the weaker characters, so that doesn't make ANY sense.

It's Gareth that makes the connection, a split second before Jeff does. He sits back in his chair, stares thoughtfully at Eddie and uses his own turn to grapple the God's weapon from his hands.

It's surprisingly easy, and The God immediately shrinks into a gnarled, grizzly looking goblin, who screeches until Mike cuts his head off with a nat 20 he hadn't been able to roll all night.

It was the weapon. The weapon that contained a God's power.

Gareth and Jeff are still looking at Eddie.

"No memory, huh?" Gareth asks.

Eddie shrugs. "Nothing at all."

"Just pick up the fucking sword, dude." Jeff sighs, and Eddie does.

The instant his character's hands touch the sword, it changes into a golden, glowing lute, the power flows into him, and their bard ascends back into godhood, agreeing to go back to his people.

The whole table descends into chaos, while Eddie and Will high five each other. Of course they were in on it together.

"Fucking DM's" Gareth complains, but he's not angry, not really.

"Ah, ah, ah, G Bear, no swearing in front of the kiddies." Eddie reminds him, gleefully.

The 'kids' didn't even hear him, too busy crowding around Will to congratulate him on his grand return. He'd written the entire thing, and collaborated with Eddie just to make sure it was a good fit for the Hellfire gang.

"Well, I saw it coming hours ago." Steve says, from his spot on the sofa, surprising the older teens. "You don't give up control easily, Eds."

"Ugh...way too much info, Harrington." Jeff groans, wrinkling his nose, and laughing with Gareth at the violent flush to Steve's cheeks.

"Aww you did kinda walk into that one with open arms, baby boy." Eddie coos, swooping down to press kisses against Steve's embarrassed cheek.

He scoops Steve into an embrace, ignoring his grumbles, and looks up at his bandmates, "So what do you think, did baby Byers pass the little test that you thought I didn't know about?"

"Hell yeah." They both agree, enthusiastic and immediate.

"This year's gonna be awesome, Eddie." Gareth adds, grinning.

They all look over to where the younger kids are, still crowding together and excitedly discussing the last few hours. Will is glowing with pride and happiness. It's a good look on him. Jeff and Gareth slap Eddie on the back and wander off to join them.

Eddie sighs, curling into Steve as much as he can. He knows he's clingy, but he needs this right now. It's bittersweet. While he's not in school anymore, he has a part time job and an apprenticeship that's going to take up far more time than he'd realised. And he's lost all of his D&D shit too. It all makes sense to hand over permanently, but it still hurts.

"You ok babe?" Steve asks. He's so nice and lovely and sweet that Eddie melts on the inside at the concern in his voice.

"It's like my kids are leaving home." He admits. "Even though technically I guess I'm the one doing the leaving."

"Growing up sucks." Steve agrees. He rubs his fingers down Eddie's arm, reassuringly. "Don't worry babe, they're not gonna forget you."

"Better fucking not." Eddie grumbled, pressing his face into Steve's neck.

He looked over. The kids had already forgotten that they were both there, too busy packing up and trying in vain to get details from Will about the next campaign.

It was a good thing though, Eddie tried convincing himself. They were all so enthusiastic and in good spirits, they didn't need him for that. It's why he'd started Hellfire in the first place, to inspire this kind of camaraderie for the outcasts. Something that would outlast him (even if the rest of the town had their own legacy instead).

"It's not forever, Eds." Steve reminded him. "Once we've got our place we'll host every week if you want."

It wasn't soon enough to soothe him.

But they were ok, and happy, and alive.

So it would have to be enough...for now.

[yueisyum]

Look alike ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ⋆

genre ꕤ idol au, strangers(kinda) to lovers,

pairings 𖧷 Idol Jaemin x drunk reader

Warnings ☽ mentions of alcohol, sexual tension to the MAX! 🚨SMUT/⚠️ Building Arousal, fat dick jaemin + too much stamina jaemin😏 Overstimulation, Use of nicknames, degrading, and praising. Revealing of identity. (Jaem is very condescending 🤭)

Note: this is a continuation of the teaser, so if you haven’t read it yet, you can find it (here) If you find any grammar or spelling errors, please let me know. If you have any questions or recommendations, my requests are open! Please enjoy😚

Tags list

@nominsgirl @c-ms1ut @carelessshootanonymous @toroufriteh @baek1-1 @syhdluv

…

“Please” you whimper.

He smirks, keeping his eyes on your lips.

You, in fact, cannot smell the stupid fried chicken on his breath…

Liar.

But your not sure you care anymore. He smells like cologne, light cologne, and that new clothes smell. (You know what I mean) It was intoxicating. He was so close to you now. His lips where less then an inch from yours.

“Y/N! I found the charger-“ Shihyun stood in front of the door with her arm in the air, the charger dangling in front of her face.

FUCKKKKKKKK… WHY!?

You turn your head to her and give her a look. She narrows her eyes before realizing the position you’re currently in. “Holy shit- nevermind, forget it- go back to what you were doing!” She waves to…. What’s his name? Then slides back inside. The guy next to you nods his head and lifts his hand to say hello.

Awkward ….

You gnaw at your lip for a moment before turning back to him.

“Sorry, should we-“

“Do you wanna-“

You both giggle and you close your eyes to curse yourself for being so awkward. He drops his head against your shoulder laughing. And you wrap your arms around he shoulders naturally. “You go first” I suggest when he lifts his head back up. He watches for a moment. Your hands are resting at his shoulders and his hands are propping himself up on the bench. “No you go first” you roll your eyes. And he smiles. Another beautiful smile.

“I’m sorry, that’s Shihyun. She’s a little slow…” you cringe at the thought of her trying to act like she didn’t just see what she saw. You didn’t want to say what you were going to, not when you’re already almost shaking at the thought of bringing up sex with him. Instead, you just look at him, waiting for a response. “She’s watching us” he says simply- not looking away from you. Snapping your head to the door you see her peering through the window. Her hot breath and hands smudging the glass. She ducks down instantly after you see her, probably falling over in the process, You giggle uncontrollably.

“She’s drunk” you can’t stop laughing, covering your mouth to hide your smile.

•••

“Y/N! I found the charger-“ Shihyun stood in front of the door with her arm in the air, the charger dangling in front of her face.

When you look over at the drunk women at the door he lets his head fall in disappointment.

Fuck, I was so close-

“Holy shit- nevermind, forget it- go back to what you were doing!” She makes a face toward you and then she waves to him, Then slides back inside quickly. He makes sure to nod his head and lifts his hand to address her. He then waits for her to leave. But she’s doesn’t. He can see out of the corner of his eye, a figure through the glass door. He tries not to laugh and looks back to you to see if you’ve noticed your nosey friend. He’s watching you think, and biting at your lip. You don’t know what to say now; and he’s finding it hilarious. He tries to help you:

“Do you wanna-“

“Sorry, should we-“

You both begin at the same time.

He laughs at that. He thinks it’s ridiculous that he can’t keep himself together. He hasn’t drank anything; Why is he laughing at everything? He finds himself in the crook of your neck. He can smell your perfume; simple and euphoric. He can smell the alcohol too but it’s starting to grow on him. Your arms wrap around him and he almost died. Your touch is so soft, and addicting.

“You go first” your voice was almost a whisper. He lifts himself off of you to see your face, he feels flustered when making eye intact with you. Your eyes are so beautiful. He doesn’t want to ask anything from you, if you aren’t comfortable. And he doesn’t want to risk scaring you off with the mention of taking you back to his place.

“No you go first” he refuses, keeping his eyes on yours. You’re fluster too.

you roll your eyes and he waits for you to answer. Your fidgeting, or shaking? He makes sure to take note of that.

IS SHE COLD?

SCARED?

“Sorry, she’s a little slow”

you cringe, probably at the thought of her trying to act nonchalant. “She’s watching us” he says simply- not looking away from you. He watched you Snap your head to the door once again. But this time He turns with you. You both see her peering through the window. Her hot breathe and hands staining the glass. She ducks down instantly, most likely falling over in the process.

“She’s drunk” he turns to you when you say that, your voice sounded high pitched and airless. You cover your face from him again, hiding your laughter and your smile. He hates that, hates when you do that-

“Oh my gosh-“ you kept going. And he can’t help but beam at you.

You were ecstatic, giggling at your friend. You look so fragile, so beautiful, so… perfect. He’s smiling, why can’t he stop smiling!?

“I should probably go get her back to the group”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine” he grips your thigh. Can’t have you leaving him not yet. You look at him, shocked at his sudden change in tone. “Let me take you to my place” he asks, Well not really. It was more of a statement or demand?

“Your place?”

“Yes, my place… Do you trust me?” He watches your chest rise and fall. You’re just looking at him. Definitely contemplating the question. He finds it cute but it also turns him on.

“Should I?”

He thinks for a moment. Well… he is keeping his identity form you… does that count as lying? Is he a liar? God this is frustrating. What will you do if he tells you the truth?

“Depends…” it’s all he could muster up. But you didn’t look upset with his answer.

•••

You’re not entirely sure this is how you planned on spending your Friday night, but your not complaining. His car smelled new, it wasn’t the cleanest, but your remembered that he was at he club with his friends. So they must share a car. And the bottle of beer in the cup holder must be his friends too.

He keeps his eyes on the road. His forearms are on display for you, should his arms really be turning you on? Probably not. But they do. You can see each and every vein, and when they flex every time he makes a right turn.

Should you have told everyone you were leaving? You told Shihyun, she was drunk out if her mind… she might forget to tell yejun and the others. You’ll text them, and keep your location on. Just in case.

Is he playing music? It’s nice.

Who is this song by?

NIKI? It’s a good song. I’ll need to remember that name.

He has good taste.

You are freaking out…

Did you shave? Yes. Yesterday.

When was the last time you washed you hair? Yesterday… maybe?

When was the last time you cleaned your belly button- what?

Should you brush your teeth before you two- wait what if you’re not going to have sex?

What if he just wants to hang out?

Should you ask him for his name?

Ok you texted Yejun. Everything is fine.

His hands are big…

Stop looking at his hands-

Why are you so nervous!?

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

He takes a couple quick glances at you. His eyes are soft and his voice is low and gentle.

“What?”

“Are you nervous?”

“No” you shake your head and laugh. Yes you are, you as so nervous.

“Do you want to get food?” When we stop at a light, he turns to you completely, waiting for my response. “No I don’t want to get bloated” you respond, covering your hands over your stomach.

What if you already are!?

Are you? What did you eat tonight!??

“Don’t be ridiculous, what do you want? What are you craving?”

You.

“Ramen? I don’t know- I’m not hungry. I feel Iike if I eat I’ll throw up. And not because I’m drunk.” You explain, looking out the window to avoid his eyes. He laughs shaking his head. When the light turns green he takes a left. “Your so cute”

You feel giddy when he says that, the compliment was so natural. God you’re not going to make it. “Don’t boast my ego” you try to joke and he laughs. So you relax your body and watch he road ahead.

•••

You were being quiet, too quiet. He wondered if you were started to regret coming with him. Would you tell him if you were? No. You’d probably be to embarrassed to admit that. Fuck! What if you changed your mind!? He really needed to focus on driving, but all he can focus on was the way you were shifting in your seat. But he’s glad you were able to joke with him.

When he pulls into the parking spot he hops out of the car, and runs around the front to open yours. You step out with a cheeky smile. “Are you just doing this because you want me in your bed?” You ask, tilting your head at him. He makes an exaggerated offended face. “No! I would never! I’m doing this for a good yelp review” he teases while closing the car door behind you. You snort and try not to trip in your heals.

•••

His apartment complex looks expensive. The elevator was modern and the music was even classical properly some shit like Beethoven. You wouldn’t be surprised if there was a fountain situation in the lobby.

There wasn’t, but they could definitely fit one. The hallways were lit with modern lights, and the ground was clear of trash unlike your dorm building.

When you made it to his apartment you notice immediately how big it was. It wasn’t bougie or overly fancy but it was big. For one person? You started to feel self-conscious, the thought of someone like him being interested in you? You walked in with him, your short dress and light limp- people probably think your an escort!?

“You’re rich! People are going to think I’m a gold digger! Or a hooker-” You turn to him. Hes placing his things down on the counter and sliding his shoes off. “I live with my friends” he chuckles and makes his way to you. You nod with an ‘oh’ as you continue to look around the living area. It’s surprisingly cleaner then you’d expect. And you look like a kid at his first time at a Olive Garden or something “You should take your shoes off, it doesn’t take a genius to know your feet hurt” he says from behind you. You turn in surprise, he’s really close, and you almost knock into him from the action.

“Right.” You grab at his arms to steady yourself and slip out of your heals. The feeling of air on your feet felt good-

what if your feet smell bad..

what if he thinks your feet are ugly!?

Is he looking at your feet now!?

Yes he is?!

Why is he looking them!?

Are your toes too long!?

“Aww they’re red” he mumbles, keeping his eyes towards the ground.

“I’m sorry?” Your brows pinch together, and you tilt your head in confusion. He looks back up to you. His arms pull you into him with a soft grin, Your chest is pressed into his.

“Your feet, they’re all red. Do they hurt bad?” He coos, the question making you oddly fluster-er.

“Can we not talk about my feet? This is embarrassing” you let go of his hands and back away. “You’re embarrassed?” He asks with a cheecky smile on his face. He brings his hands to yours and squeezes them. Then he pulls you towards him once again.

“I think so.”

“You think so?” He try’s not to laugh, but he can’t help it.

“Stop responding to everything with a question! You’re making me nervous!” You press your head into his chest in embarrassment, your hands grip his to ground yourself.

What is happening to you!?

You were fine before!!

•••

“Sorry” Jaemin chuckles at your shyness, he finds it cute, but he knows that will end up being a problem later. “Can I kiss you now?” He asks. He tries looking down at you but your face remains pressed into him.

“If you promise to stop teasing” you mumble into his chest. Your small hands squeeze his. He’s starting to think he has a size kink. Or maybe it’s it’s just you.

“I promise to stop teasing, for now” you laugh into his frame before lifting your head to look at him. Taking your heels off made you lose a couple inches on him.

“So… I can kiss you?”

“Stop asking me and just do it please”

So he does, he bends down to kiss you. Your lips are soft, and they pucker a bit, he can’t help but smile. The back of his neck feels hot, and he can feel your hands shaking a bit. the thought of you not truly knowing that he is really Jaemin is clouding his mind, and the over bearing feeling of guilt swallows him. He tries to pull away but you chase his lips, tilting your head to deepen it even more. “Hey” he calls, and you lean back, dropping your feet, which were on their toes to reach him. “Hm?” You tilt your head again and he wants to kiss you again.

“There’s something I should tell you” you stare at him Patiently. Jaemin runs all the scenarios in his head.

1. You could slap him across the face for lying.

2. You could freak out and run off

3. You could think he is lying

4. Or you would be totally okay with it.

He’s hoping for the latter.

“Hey? You okay?”

His eyes refocus on you. You pull your hands away from his, and it almost stings. “Is it really serious? Are you a virgin or something?” You ask him and he laughs nervously.

“No no, I just lied to you. About who I was”

“You never actually told me who you are…what are you like the amazing Spider-Man?”

“I’m scared that if I tell you, you’ll run off. And maybe punch me-“

“What!? What is it?”

“I’m-“

He stops when he hears a knock at the door behind him. He turns slightly to face it. You lean over to watch the door as well.

Perfect.. no really. Who the hell could possibly be at the door right now!?

“Jaemin! You left with the car and the keys! What the hell!? How did you expect us to get home?- hold on, I think Jeno has a spare key!” You both hear the voice through the door. It was muffled but very clear.

Oh.. right.

“Jaemin!? Jeno!?” He turns back to you, your face was full of shock and confusion. You just look at him, frozen in place.

SHIT

“I was trying to tell you-“

“-You’re na jaemin!? Holy fucking shit- I almost threw up on na fucking jaemin!?” You turn away covering your mouth, your voice was shaky.

Was that one of his scenarios?

No..?

The door began to click open and he had to think fast.

•••

Your body was being lead into a room. It was dark with only a small lamp providing a smile light. You couldn’t really focus on any of that though.

NA JAEMIN!?

HE IS NA JAEMIN!?

You almost threw up on him…

He could smell your alcohol breathe all night…

He had to carry you- are you heavy!?

Is that why he was asking all those questions about if I would ever sleep with hi-

NA JAEMIN WANTS TO SLEEP WITH YOU!?

Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy fucking-

“Stay here, I promise I’ll explain- let me just deal with my friends” the guy- jaemin* put his hands out in front if him. Telling you to ‘stay put’, then rushed out of the room, closeting the door behind him.

What the fuck-

Why didn’t he just tell you who he was? How could he expect to go out to a bar and think no one would recognize him? Why wouldn’t he just tell you he was actually jaemin? Why does he want to sleep with you!? Why couldn’t he bring up that fact that he’s NA JAEMIN!?

You find yourself pacing around his room. He wants to have sex with YOU… you want to have sex with him- but what if he doesn’t like it… would it be awkward now!? Shouldn’t you be angry. Why aren’t you angry? You need to sit down.

Shit- your shaking and your breaths are getting shorter and shorter- your freaking out… AGAIN!

•••

“Wait- your telling me she’s in your room now?” Mark asks, his face was full of shock and amazement.

“Yes”

“And you didn’t tell her who you are?” Jeno adds.

“Yes”

“But you were about to? then we came- and accidentally revealed it before you did? and now she probably thinks you weren’t going to tell her? And now hates you?” Heachan adds, trying to sum it all up.

“Dude what the fuck?” Chenle kicks him in the shin and Haechan whines.

Jaemin sighs and places his head in his palm. “Yes…”

The boys all think for a moment. The silence was killing him. “Would it kill you to disagree?”

“Dude, she doesn’t hate you, she’s probably just freaking out” mark tries to explain and the rest nod.

“Exactly! And having her wait in your room like she’s a patient, probably isn’t helping” renjun agrees.

“Fuck-“ jaemin quickly threw the remote he was fidgeting with and bolted to his room.

•••

The door flew open which caused you to jump slightly. There he was… na jaemin.

“I’m sorry” he shut the door behind him. Leaning up against it to watch you sit at his bed. You aren’t sure if he’s apologizing for hiding his identity or scaring you with the door. You both stare at each other for a moment. Your still in shock and he’s probably trying find the right worlds… so you decide to speak first.

“So you’re actually jaemin?” Your hands lay in your lap, they are shaking and a bit cold.

“Yes”

“And I thought you were just a look alike this whole time…” you mostly talking to yourself now. He tries not to laugh and nods his head, he looks away to avoid your eyes. “Yeah”

“And YOU want to have sex with ME?”

“Yes? Aren’t we getting off topic?-”

“-This is really embarrassing!” Your lips quiver and you cover your face. You sensitive bitch.

“I’m really sorry. you just- I mean, no it’s not your fault. I was just scared that.. I don’t know, but when you said that you wouldn’t sleep with jaemin-“

“-You mean you?”

“Yeah- yeah me; I got scared, I thought that if I told you who I was, you would run off.”

“…I probably would’ve…” you tried to laugh but it came out dry.

“Exactly! And I really, REALLY, did not want that to happen.” He pushed himself off the door and made his way towards you.

You just look at him then look away… you could bare the fact that you are in his room, on his bed, and he’s is apologizing to you about something you aren’t even mad about.

What the heck do you do!? He joins you on his bed, but he keeps his distance.

“…So I just didn’t say anything, but I swear I was about to tell you, before those idiots came back”

•••

You think for a moment longer, the both of you sitting in silence. Na Jaemin apologizing for wanting to be with you?.. holy shit

“Im very upset” you announce. You couldn’t be mad, even if you tried. But why not have some fun?

“Im sorry” he repeated. He seemed genuine and it doesn’t seem he like he realizes your not actually mad. He tries to maintain eye contact while spewing a abundance of apologies.

“I don’t think I can forgive you Jaem” you shake your head, trying your hardest to hold your facial expression. You reached out for him and you squeeze gently. Trying to make it obvious that you just playing a part. The thought of having na jaemin in your hands was driving you crazy. Your mind repeatedly taking you back to the bar where he was holding you thighs and carrying you and- and you almost threw up on him.

Your mind will never let you hear the end of it, however now…

Now you have the upper hand.

•••

“I don’t think I can forgive you Jeam” you added, your voice sounded playful… but your words are the opposite- and why are you giving him that look-

Oh

OH

“M’sorry y/n” he leaned in uncontrollably. Your little smirk drawing him closer to you.

God- he likes this side of you. Jaemin’s eyes remain on yours. His heart pace quickens and he swears he can feel goosebumps. The sexual tension between you two came out of nowhere and everywhere at the same time.

“You’ll have to make it up to me…”

“How can I do that?” He asks, his hands grab yours and squeezes lightly.

His lips are almost on yours now. His eyes are hooded and his breath matches yours.

He was about to close the distance when you turn away. “How about we watch one of your face cams!” It was sudden and unexpected… but deserved. You hop off of his bed and make your way to his computer with a huge smile on your face. He drops his head in disbelief.

This is his punishment… he deserves this.

•••

Are you still unbelievably horny? Yes

But are you proud of yourself for teasing him? Yesser

“Really?” You hear him ask from behind you, and you fight back a giggle.

“Maybe… make a wish? I like that one” you take a seat at his chair, and he remains seated on the bed.

“Do you?” He asks, you can hear him shuffling around then lets out a sigh.

“Yep” you respond in the most upbeat, nonchalant way you could. Clicking around his already opened computer to YouTube. Your innocent behaviour was almost laughable. Teasing him, by not giving him what he wants? And he’s playing along!? You might die. “So how does that sound? Make a wish?”

“Mhm” he hums with a tight lip smile.

You search the video you want to watch and then smile in shock.

“You’ve already seen them?” you laugh. The mouse is hovering over a face came video of himself, but the red line indicates that’s he’s already watched it the whole way through. You continue laughing and glance at him. His smile grows wider when you look at him. His smile is breathtaking.

“What? It’s called monitoring, and I like to read the comments. wanna read all the crazy stuff fans wrote about me” he shrugs, continuing to look at you and not his monitor. He seems as if he couldn’t care less about it.

“-your lying!?” cocky motherfucker.

So your telling me he reads the comments!?

You hear Jaemin get up from his seat and hover behind you. Then, he bends down so his face is next to yours and his hands lean against the desk so he can maneuver the mouse. Kinda like how teachers hover over frustrated students in a classroom… but he’s not a teacher and this isn’t a classroom, and your horny not frustrated. Or maybe you are?

Jaemin takes over the mouse and clicks on one of the face cams, and you lean back into the chair.

Jaemin was only able to keep it together for 45 seconds into the video, Standing there impatiently.

“Do you really want to be doing this right now?” He turns his head to you, and you turn yours to lock eyes with him.

Holy shit he looks so good in this lighting, and why does he have to look at you like that!? The smirk that slowly appears on his face is a reminder that He’s a literally and idol… why aren’t you freaking out like a mad man!? There’s no way your still drunk right? so why are you able to hold your ground like this!?

“What would you rather be doing?” You ask with an innocent face.

“You” Jaemin grabs the chair you’re sitting in and spins you to face him completely, and away from his computer. he leans in, his lips searching for yours again.

Oh

you weren’t surprised by his response necessarily, you kinda thought he would say something like that, but you didn’t really think of how you would respond.. now your just staring at him, flustered and frustratedly horny.

You turn back to the computer before he could get too close. Your not giving in that easy. “Wait, shh this is my favorite part” you put up your finger to his lips to ‘shh’ him, then watch the screen quietly. Jaemin rolls his eyes and grabs at the arm rests of his chair.

“Y/n” he spins his chair once more.

“Yes?”

“Don’t you want the real thing?” He flashes a look at you. A look you’ve seen before… on tv? At a concert? In a music video? Who knows but your thighs push themselves together in response, and you’re fighting to keep your composure.

“Hmm… I don’t know, the real thing doesn’t seem reliable” you tease with a smile. The song was still playing in the background, you wanted to keep watching but it’s long forgotten.

“I am reliable, I promise”

“Promise?” You laugh at his seriousness, bringing a hand up to cover your mouth, trying not to allow any giggles to escape.

“Promise” Jaemin reaches to remove the hand covering your mouth, then pushes his lips into yours. You DID tell him to stop asking to kiss you. This wasn’t quick and desperate, it was slow and sensual. One of his hands grab at your thigh and you almost moan into his lips. You place your hand over his and squeeze.

•••

You taste so fucking good. The alcohol on your lips is driving him crazy. There is absolutely no way your lips are naturally this soft. His body was getting weak and when you brought your hands to his, he nearly lost it.

Jeamin pulls away and contemplates how he should continue.

“Jaemin” you call out after a moment

“Yeah?”

“Please make it up to me”

No more contemplating-

He grabs a hold of your hand and brings you to your feet with a tug. Then he pulls your waist towards him and kisses you like you two only have 20 minutes left to live. He feels you grab at his shoulders and you lift yourself onto your toes to reach him.

Cute

Jaemin slowly lifts his right hand and slides it up your body slowly, to cup your tits through your dress. As his hands move, you lift yours and wrap them around his neck. When your feet give out and you fall back you your original height, Jaemin bends down to chase your lips. you allow his tongue into your mouth he almost cums right then and there. Instead he pulls away. “So, we are having sex tonight?” his eyes focus on your for an answer.

“It IS on my bucket list” you joke with a shrug. Jaemin pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue. He drops his hands to your hips again and asks; “Sleeping with an NCT member is on your bucket list?”

“No, sleeping with YOU is on my bucket list” you joke. He can’t find it in himself to look away from you.

“Ohh I see, so you planned this?” He teases.

“Oh yeah! All down to the YouTube video and everything” you agree sarcastically. Your features playing along in the conversation. When you both finish a mini laughing fit, you both take a moment to look into each other’s eyes. “Now that that’s out of the way, can you go back to touching me? Please?” you pull him closer. he tried to hum in response but it came out as a low groan. He doesn’t even care if he sounds like a perv anymore.

“Fuck, y/n.. can I take you to the bed?”

“You don’t have to ask- Jaemin!?”

You were cut off when he bends to lift you by the back of your thighs, then he turns to sit you on his bed. when he lays you down and begins to climb over you, your dress was rides up your thighs. Lifting every move you made. You look so fucking gorgeous, he wondered what you taste like- He wants to taste you- he needs to. He sits up to get rid of his shirt, revealing his toned stomach. Then he moves back to hover over you.

“Um- what- how do you want to do this?” He asks, his right arm was holding him up above you, and his left was playing with the hem of your dress. “What do you mean?” You ask, doing that thing he now loves about you. He’s finding it hard to understand that he’s just met you tonight, and that you haven’t know each other for years.

“Do want me to be soft? Rough? Vanilla? Are you okay with biting”

“Too many questions jaem-“

“- I need to know y/n”

You sigh and think for a moment. “What are you usually like?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like with other girls? Are you rough with them? What does your definition of rough mean?”

“Now your asking too many questions” he laughs and you join him.

“I don’t care. Just remember I’m not made of glass, sound good?”

“Yes ma’am” he smirks and places a peck to your lips before he raises his head. Jaemin beings to lift your dress up your thighs then your waist. You slightly lift your upper body to allowing his to completely pull it off of you.

You are so fucking beautiful- he almost forgets to breath. Your underwear is simple but you still look so fucking sexy in it. He can see your chest rise and fall, and the curve of your boobs form on top of your bra. He finds himself kissing at the area, sucking and leaving marks all over your chests. Soft moans leave your lips when he travels to your neck, and you leg spread for him unintentionally. His crotch is pressed against your heat. He groans when your hands come up to grip his hair.

•••

His body grinds into yours.

“Jaemin” you moan out, allowing his hands to find his shoulders.

“Hm?”

You gasp when he finds the perfect spot on your neck. The grip you have on his hair tightens, and you squeeze your eyes shut.

Why are you so sensitive right now!?

“Please hurry” you plead. He lifts his head to glance up at you.

“We just started, you this needy already?”

“Already? I’ve been waiting since we left the bar-“

“-god” he lets one big breath out and connects his lips to yours. His jeans continue to grind against your soaked underwear. Jaemin’s hands run across your body, squeezing and caressing anywhere he can reach. Those words made him Farrell; there is nothing he loves more then when someone is bold about their needs. “Are you okay with me taking off your bra?” He mumble against you lips. “Not made of glass remember?”

“Right”

Jaemin’s arms lift you with ease, his hands finding the clip at the back of you, undoing them in a swift motion. Then he throws it somewhere near his desk. You know you shouldn’t feel insecure, but when he just stares at your chest you feel a chill flutter through your body.

•••

He can’t trust himself. He’ll cum too fast and embarrass himself. Grinding into you already has him close, and he hasn’t even taken his cock out of his pants yet. When he pulled your bra off your chest, they bounced back into place. Plump and full, He might actually die a happy man tonight. “Y/n”

“Yes? Is everything okay? Did I do something wrong?” He notices the panic in your voice and curses himself for starring too long. He probably caused you to overthink. You hands cover your chest as you watch him and wait for his reply. “No no, I’m just… very sensitive right now. And I’m not sure I’ll last long” He tries his hardest to search your face for a response before you actually speak. Your features seem to relax and you smile to him. A smile that his him melting.

“Oh. That’s okay, I’m not sure I can either-“

“No like I’m serious-“

“Me too” you laugh at his expression. He just smiles. He’s worried you don’t actually understand he’s trying to say. Globe of your hands lift to cup his face, you skin is just as song as your smile.

“Can I-“ he goes to ask if he can remove your underwear now, but then he’s reminded of your earlier complaints. So instead he leans back, and begins to unblocked his jeans. Then he slips his fingers onto the band if your underwear and drags it down your legs. Your legs close unintentionally.

“Your so beautiful” he then leans back on top of you. “I’m going to make you feel good, I promise” his lips find your neck again. “But we are going to need to stay quiet, because the members are in the other room-“

“What?! They will hear us?” You push him off your neck to look at him. “Are the walls thin?”

“No, they’ll hear you and yes” he corrects you with a chuckle, he can’t help but lean in for another kiss. “You can be quite right?” He mumbles into your lips and you simply hum in response. Then when he pulls away you whisper a yes with an eager nod.

He doesn’t believe you, but you seem pretty confident. “Alright, we have all night, let’s not waist it”

ּ ˖ ་⭐︎ ִ ۫ ּ ˖ ་⭐︎ ִ ۫ ּ ˖ ་⭐︎ ִ ۫ ּ ˖ ་⭐︎ ִ ۫ ּ ˖ ་⭐︎ ִ ۫ ּ ִ ۫ ּ ˖ ་⭐︎ ִ ۫ ּ ˖⭐︎ ִ ۫ ּ

“Jaemin!” You moan, your hips are lifted off the bed as he pounds into you. You let it slip, you didn’t mean to be so loud. He chuckles when your hands come to slap over your mouth. Your whole body jolts with every thrust he hits you with. He gave you plenty of time to adjust to his size, but the stretch is still tingling. His cock kisses you cervix almost every thrust.

“I thought you said you can stay quiet?” he continues. His hips slamming into yours at a cruel pace. You can’t move your hands, you know what will happen. You were doing so good, but this is the umpteenth round, and you’re hypersensitive- everywhere. Your body feels numb but your feeling everything ten times more. Your head is spinning and your legs are spasming.

“It’s too late now love, they’ve most definitely heard you. Might as well continue yeah? Move your hands.” he teases. His voice is strained and breathy. His hands travel from your hips to your face to forcefully remove your hands when you shake your head: no. Now that your mouth is no longer covered, tense moans leave your lips. “I can’t c-“

Jaemin cocks an eyebrow with a smirk.

“Can’t what?” His hands are still holding yours, when he leans down so your noses touch. When you hesitate, he places a little kiss on the corner of your lips. “You can tell me y/n/n, don’t be shy” You tighten your lips and look away from him. He chuckles but he’s pissed. I don’t need to remind you how much he hates that. He slows his thrust to a stop and waits for your answer. You whine and try humping yourself on his cock. But if course, he won’t let you. Grabbing at your hips and holding them to the mattress.

“Come on princess, I won’t judge you. I can’t help if you won’t tell me what you need” Jaemin coos at you. You hate to admit it, but his words made you clench around his length. He groans at the feeling, but tries his best to stay patient. “I can’t cum anymore” you finally reveal with a moan. He wasn’t even moving but you felt another orgasm nearing. Everything was fluttering and giddy, you felt as if you were going insane. “No? Are you sure? Is that why you were trying to fuck yourself on my cock like a slut just now?”

“s’too much jaemin” you try to argue but he’s already began moving again. Slowly thrusting into you. “You can say all you want baby, but your pretty little hole is telling the truth” jaemin lowers his head to your hear, you can feel the smirk on his lips. You don’t know if you want to moan or slap him. his hips slowly slide out, until just the tip remains, then he slams into you. His previous pace begins again, and you can only throw your head back into the pillows. “You hear that?” He asks, his hands now holding at your legs. The sound of skin slapping fills your ears, and you can’t help but be embarrassed. His hands gripping the back of your thighs, surly it’s going to leave a mark.

“Your slutty hole is telling me you want me to cum inside of you, you want that princess?” You can only moan in response. You muscles are flexing a and your back arches of the bed. You nod eagerly instead. “Yeah? Come on, use your words princess” his body is sat up, meaning he can see every part of you. Was that freaking you out? Yes.

Was it also turning you on? Yes.

“Yes please”

You just barley manage. A soft laugh leave his lips as he continues to fuck into you. His cock was twitching inside of you and you knew he had to be close. His eyebrows furrowed together, his mouth hung open and his abdomen was flexed. “Fuck! My pretty little whore. Wants me to cum inside her? So fucking cute” he coos again, this time his grip on your thighs tighten and he’s sounds a bit whiny. “You are so beautiful, you feel so good”

That was it for you, his hands released your thighs and and interlocked his fingers with yours, then allowing his head to fall into your neck. He thrust where staggered and uneven, he was fitting into you. You were spasming and twitching everywhere. Your toes curled and eyes squeezed shut as your umpteenth organs hit you. The feeling of him shooting his release inside of you made you moan again.

Taking a second for your breath evens out again before he speaks.

“We still have all night” he begins, he starts kissing at your neck while you’re still trying to remember your own name. “Jaem-“ you try to warn, you can already feel him growing hard again. Isn’t he sensitive or tired!? The jaemin you know from social media and tv wouldn’t have this much fucking stamina.

His cum on your stomach from the last couple rounds, has become sticky; You’re light headed, and your body is going limp- but even all of that can’t push you to deny him.

“You asked me to make it up to you, thats exactly what I’m doing. Can’t you do one more baby?” He lifts his face to look at you, his right hand caressing your cheek as you lean into him.

“I’m sensitive”

“Even better. I only have a couple hours left, I’m not waisting them” kissing your lips between every thought. Jaemin begins slowly thrusting into, holding eye contact while doing so. The feeling of you tired walls being fucked again was driving you crazy. Especially since you haven’t fully come down form your last orgasm. “Fuck- jaem”

“s’good?” He chuckles when your eyes roll to the back of your head.

You moan louder when he kisses at your nipples.

“Good. Just one more”

[youwouldmissmeinyourbones]

I'm fairly new to Klaroline. There are so many incredible looking fics, it's hard to know where to start. What would you rec as the absolute must-read fics in the fandom? Any length, any rating. Thanks!

Welcome to our crazy little corner of the internet! We are definitely blessed with a lot of amazing fics, so I'll summarise my absolute favourites for you!

These are all on ao3, so please make sure you check the tags/ warnings before reading because I'm not sure what you're comfortable with. You'll also need an account on ao3 to read some of these if you don't already have one.

You may have already seen me raving about make them bow, which is absolutely amazing.

Other than that, we have:

Everything, Everything by Anyaparadox

Caroline and Klaus wake up human in another reality due to a spell. Oh, and they're married, which is absolutely the worst, until it isn't.

This fic was beautifully domestic, and the bitter-sweet ending has me in tears every time I read it. This is 100% one of my favourite fics EVER and I would go as far as to say it's the fic on this list I most highly recommend.

Words: 68, 491

Colored You In by @lalainajanes

AH-AU. Kol's broke (he scammed his trust executor, but don't ask, okay?). Elijah's playing the tough love card, Rebekah has no room (and Kol doesn't want to overhear his little sister having sex, thank you). And Klaus? Klaus will murder Kol inside a week if they're forced to live together. Caroline had a spare bedroom (now that Stefan's moved in with Rebekah) and Rebekah knows Caroline's weaknesses. A pair of Louboutin's and two days later Kol's moving in. It might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Or possible the making of two mortal enemies. Time will tell. But suddenly Klaus is always around. Planted on her couch, offering snarky commentary, eating their food. Seriously, who invited him?

I'm not the hugest fan of AH AU's but this would have to be one of my favourites. It's hilarious and showcases relationships between all of the characters. (Especially Kol and Caroline, which you've gotta love)

Words: 85, 440

Someone That'll Look Like You by @cupcakemolotov

When Caroline Forbes finds herself barreling down the highway with no real memory other than her name, her only clue is the dead body in her backseat. To complicate matters, she's pretty sure that body isn't human. And neither is she.

This fic is super sweet with a healthy dose of Carenzo friendship for good measure.

Words: 23, 214

Sweet Present of the Present by VintageLilac

Time was a human constraint, and Caroline was immortal. Klaus had told her to explore humanity, to do all the thing she wanted in life, and he also told her it wouldn't be enough. She hated that he was right. And so when Rebekah Mikaelson showed up on her doorstep, asking her to take Klaus' daughter, Caroline said yes. -- In which Caroline raises Hope while New Orleans is at war.

Although this fic is absolutely fantastic, you should probably note that it's still ongoing (we're at 21/25 chapters right now) so if you only like to read completed fics you'll want to hold off a bit longer on that one. The author is still updating though so I don't think you need to worry about it being abandoned.

Words: 133, 068 (as of right now)

This is a Harvest by but_seriously

“Ask me to choose you, Caroline,” Klaus continues heatedly, “go ahead, and I will, with everything that I have. But in return, you’re going to have to do the one thing you’ve been fighting since the night I sat on your bedside and fed you my blood. You’re going to have to choose me back. It’s only fair,” and he spits these last words out.

I haven't read this one in a while but I remember really enjoying it so I've added it in. Really, I would suggest taking a look at everything by this author.

Words: 20, 104

I hope this list helps you find something you enjoy. There are so many talented writers out there and a bunch of them just happen to churn out the most amazing stuff for us to read!

[hanluex]

♡ GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU — JASON TODD

redhood!jason x daughter of joker and harley quinn!reader | wc : 1.3k words | content : possible grammar and spelling mistakes, lowercase intended, strangers to lovers (?), swearing, mentions of blood, mentions of dying, mildly suggestive at one point, full-on angst | requested : @kimm4710 hope you like this! and so sorry for the long wait

being the daughter of the joker and harley quinn was no easy feat. everyone thought you were the carbon copy of your parents.

you could only pray for a smidge of their qualities. despite having the greatest supervillains as your parents, your moral compass was stronger than you’d like.

sure, you had your fair share of kills and whatnot, but you weren’t as ‘villainous’ as your parents; and you weren't kept in an asylum because of your unstable mind.

your parents cared little that their only child was nothing like them. and you didn’t mind that one bit — except for times like this.

“no …” your eyes widened, breath hitching as you watched the blood pool at your feet. “fuck, fuck, fuck.” the curses left your lips like a mantra, unable to look away.

you fell to the floor, hands shaking as you looked at the mangled figure of gotham’s favorite sidekick. the whacks he had received from the joker made robin’s face unrecognizable.

“y/n, we need to leave,” bane spoke, hearing the police sirens in the distance. “now.”

"the pit," you muttered, looking up at your henchman/best friend. "we must take him to the pit."

"the pit?! are you crazy? your father–"

"don't call him that. my father would not have just killed robin without a reasonable explanation."

"the joker doesn't need a reasonable explanation to kill, love. especially not batman's sidekick."

"but robin is–"

bane sighed, not having time to argue with you. "just get off the floor, darling," he begged. "i'll take him to the pit," he announced.

it was hilarious, really, seeing how the mighty bane was putty in your hands. the old guy was your best friend and he did everything he could for you.

the corpse of batman's sidekick was carried by bane before he threw him into the pit.

who knew the daughter of the joker would save gotham’s beloved robin?

“y/n, i’m fine, honestly. it’s just a small graze. nothing much.”

jason sighed, holding your frantic hands in place as you rushed to tend to his busted lip. you pulled away from his grip, having your way as you grabbed the ointment.

“you got hurt even after wearing a full-face helmet,” you stated as-a-matter-of-factly. “clearly you are not fine, jason.”

“seriously, i’m–”

you took a deep breath, brows furrowing. “just help me … to help you, please.” you pleaded, pouting unconsciously.

jason paused, shaking his head before agreeing, knowing well he couldn’t win an argument with you. “fine,” he grumbled, biting back a smile at your victorious grin.

it was three months since the incident, and you were convinced jason was your other half. after he emerged from the lazarus pit, you did whatever you could in your power to nurse jason back to health.

despite you saving him, jason was also there for you within the three months. when you got the news that batman killed the joker, jason was there for you.

he listened to you, held you as you cried; it really didn’t feel like you two only knew each other for three months — it felt like an entire lifetime.

jason held your chin up, shifting attention off his wound. “thanks for giving a shit about me, babes,” he muttered, leaning in to place his lips on yours for a quick peck.

the two of you didn’t really have a tag on yourselves; dating, hooking up, you didn’t know — it just sorta happened. jason wasn’t ready to fully open up, and you weren’t exactly an open book either, so it worked for you two.

you two had feelings for each other; the only issue was you and jason needed to figure out exactly what they were.

“you don’t thank someone who wants to take care of you, idiot.”

“bane, send someone to that abandoned warehouse for the cleanup. also, have you seen jason?”

you called out, standing in front of the sink as you washed away the blood on your hands.

after his recovery, jason took the new name, red hood, gathering allies to get back at the titans. he told you of the way they treated him, and if getting back at them was what he wanted, you were all for it.

jason knew of your morals and where you drew the line, so you trusted him with whatever plans he had for them. even as a child of supervillains, you showed mercy to a hero’s sidekick, therefore you figured jason wouldn’t be that harsh on the titans.

and boy, were you wrong?

“bane?” you tilted your head in confusion as you stared at the older male. “where’s jason?” with one look, you knew something was off, and you needed to know what it was.

“he, uh, left.”

“i can see that, bane. but exactly where did he go? and for what?”

your questions caused him to freeze, knowing well you wouldn’t like the answers you were going to hear. but with you looking at him like that, he couldn’t hide it either. so, he told you everything.

from jason’s plan to send you off to take care of some minor drug cartels as a distraction, to the plans he had for the titans, bane told you everything. your blood boiled as you listened to the plans jason had, realizing he lied to you from the start.

“tell me … tell me where he is. right now!”

“jason todd, you fucking asshole!”

you confronted the brunet, only aware of dove and nightwing once you stood in front of the male.

“babe, now’s not–”

“don’t fucking babe me!” you fisted your hands, controlling your anger. “you lied to me! this wasn’t a part of the plan.”

nightwing and dove exchanged glances, unaware their former titan was working with you. “he can’t be serious, right?” dawn raised her brows. “the daughter of the joker?! really?!” she asked in disbelief.

“i’m more surprised about the fact she’s taking our side,” dick muttered, utterly confused. “we really don’t have time for this, jason. stop the timer now!”

“you heard him, jason. stop the fucking timer.”

“why are you being like this?! they killed your father! can't you put your stupid morals aside for a bit to avenge his death?!”

“they didn’t kill my father, batman did.” your voice quivered, seething with anger. “i won't fuck with them just because they are associated with batman. i have stupid morals, you see.”

jason noted the change in your eyes, not recognizing the look behind them. “y/n, i–” he couldn’t complete his sentence, turning to the others upon hearing dick’s voice.

“dawn! no!”

your heart fell upon seeing dawn click the gun, realising jason had given her the detonator instead of the deactivator. dick caught the blonde in his arms as she fell before turning towards you, but the two of you had long gone from there.

you pulled away from jason’s grip, angry tears burning in your eyes as you looked at him. “i can't believe you, jason,” you cried. “i can't believe i thought you were the fucking one for me.”

“y/n, please–”

“save it, todd. there’s nothing you can say that’ll bring back the man you just killed.”

jason scoffed in disbelief. “what about the people you killed just a few hours ago? what about them? can't bring them back, right?” he tried arguing, only angering you further.

“they are criminals, jason!” you raised your voice, startling the brunet. “they are criminals who sell drugs to fucking preteens! did hank ever do that kind of shit?!”

“well, i, uh–” jason struggled to form his sentences, not knowing what to say when he saw the tears finally fall down your face. “please don’t cry, y/n. i will–”

“forget about it, jason. i won't ever give a shit about you, so just leave. i don’t want to see your face again.”

TAGLIST: SEND AN ASK OR DM TO BE ADDED!

[critter-genfic-events]

This week, we have seven hilarious prank fics recced! Read along for some hi-jinks and mischief! Check them out under the cut, and as ever, comment or kudos if you like them!

What Goes Up by krakens (2311,General) Warnings: None Pairings: background Vax/Gilmore

Pike suggests playing a prank on Vax. Grog suggests putting a cow in his room.

Reccer says: A perfect Vox Machina messing around fic

Open All the Windows by hufflepirate (4563,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Jester & the Traveler

Even as Jester grows older, sometimes that first spell is still the best spell. It always means the Traveler is there. It always means she isn't really alone.

Reccer says: I liked it

Distance makes the heart grow fonder by Multifandom_damnation (2805,General) Warnings: None Pairings: The Clay Siblings

Caduceus is gone just as fast as he arrived, and he leaves his siblings behind to bicker amongst themselves and think about everything he's been through in the ten years that they've been away.

Reccer says: I love the sibling dynamics and the outsider view of what Caduceus would have been through without his siblings.

Spell JAMmer by xtinethepirate (1496,General) Warnings: Pairings: Background Shadowgast, Essek & Verin Thelyss

Essek relates a story from his past. Jester gets ideas. Verin is stuck with cleaning duty.

Reccer says: A fun callback to the random Verin and Essek story Matt told on a charity stream, with added Jessties

Untitled Fearne Game by Deramin (200,General) Warnings: minor animal ruffling Pairings:

It’s a lovely morning at the pond, and you are a horrible fey.

Reccer says: It's extremely short (200 words) but perfect for what it needs to be

The Wrong Side of the Bed by Samuraiko (467,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

Just because Orym's the healthy and well-adjusted one doesn't mean he can't cut loose and have some fun every now and again... especially with a little help from Ashton. (takes place just before the departure to the Heartmoor)

Reccer says: I liked it

garden crimes by quinn_of_aebradore (233,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Essek & Yasha

Yasha engages in some mischief while she and Essek are gardening together.

Reccer says: It's short, sweet, and wonderfully silly!

This is one of our weekly communally-generated gen rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. Please note that the summary and content notes are provided by the reccer, and may be different than what the author has provided. Please assume good intentions all around. <3

And hey, anyone includes you!

Next week, we'll be featuring fics focused on Ashton!

Then, it'll be Hair Care, Pre-Campaign, and Crashing A Party!

Any fics coming to mind?  Well, then use this form to submit!

If you're looking for some more, check out some fics written in the critter genfic bingo tag, or the older rec lists! Or you can request your own card and join in on the fun!

[aesopsharpmybeloved]

PS, I love you

Love letters begin appearing in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Professor Sharp never send his own. He doesn't have to.

The night between Aesop seeing Sebastian's letter and Reader's gentle rejection in the morning, is the night his leg is acting up and she holds him to her. This observation was brought to my knowledge by @tea-withjamandbread who I am convinced now is a genius with 200+ IQ

I'm fairly certain my next fic will be pwp

PS, I love you (4.2k words)

tw: suggestive themes (mentioned), slight angst, aesop sharp needs a hug, cheesy

"Oi, knock it off, Prewett!" Andrew Larson shouted once more, trying to reach a piece of parchment that was currently held in Leander Prewett's hand, high above his head and out of Andrew's reach entirely. "Haha, what's wrong, Larson? What's so bloody secret about this? Is it a recipe for a growing potion, so that you can finally be taller than a fifth year?" 

"You utter git, Prewett!" Andrew snarled and began reaching for his wand. He was promptly hit with a full body bind curse by the tall redhead. "Now let's see," said Leander with a mean glee in his voice and began reading.

The students who were currently in the Clocktower Courtyard with the two boys finally stopped pretending to mind their own business, when Andrew's bound body hit the ground, turning around to look at them fully. A few students rushed to Andrew's aid.

"Oh, oh! Listen to this everyone!" Leander began giggling and cleared his throat. 

"Finite," came a cast from your wand. Andrew's body relaxed, but he didn't sit up. He didn't even open his eyes. His face was taking on a deep red hue. 

"Dear Nerida," Leander read with a mocking, dramatic voice, "you are more beautiful than the moon reflecting on the dark waters of the Black lake, by which you so often sit-" "Shut up, Leander!" You shout at the Gryffindor, finally realising just what sort of letter it was, and why Andrew seemed to want the ground to swallow him whole.

"Come on, (F/N), don't be such a spoilsport, this is hilarious!" Replied Leander, before resuming reading the love letter aloud, "your smile shines brighter than the lacewing flies in the middle of the night, and your voice is like a heavenly sympho- Arghh!" A descendo hit Leander straight in the chest and his body made swift, hard contact with the ground. The impact pushed the breath out of his lungs, and left him coughing and gasping on the ground. Everyone looked around, searching for the person who fired the spell.

It was Nerida herself. She walked to Leander, still lying on the ground, angrily and snatched the letter out of his hand. "That'll teach you to snoop through someone else's correspondence!" She spit out before placing the letter into her robes. Andrew sat up in the meantime, his head hung low. You and a few students encouraged everyone else to get back to their knitting as Nerida slowly walked towards the Ravenclaw.

"Did you really mean all that, Andy?" She asked, a little shy smile on her face. Andrew looked up at her suddenly, cheeks still burning: "I-I… Y-yes, of c-course I did! I do!" Nerida smiled once more and fidgeted with her hands, looking away as a similar flush appeared on her cheeks: "then maybe we could… I don't know, we could go to Hogsmeade during the weekend?"

And so began a little era of love letters at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

—

Love letters began appearing all throughout Hogwarts. Sometimes they were anonymous, oftentimes they were not. Sometimes they led to new couples forming. There weren't just romantic letters, though. 

Many girls and a few boys also took to sending love letters to their friends. They'd be thankful for their friendship, and write out all the things they adored about them. Girls could often be seen hugging each other after reading the letters from their friends. Boys wouldn't really react the same way, but one could occasionally see them blushing when reading such a heartfelt note from their friend. Nobody was ridiculed anymore for putting their feelings on paper, not after Nerida and Andrew began going out following Andrew's letter’s reveal, looking as happy and in love as can be. 

There were letters sent to the staff as well, notes of respect, admiration, fondness. They were platonic, of course (save for a few anonymous letters Professor Garlick received), and generally well-received. Mirabel got so many, she soon didn't know what to do with them, while Abraham Ronen almost immediately sent them to his wife to see, full of pride and utmost joy. 

There was an unspoken rule to not send prank letters to the staff, and especially not to Black. He was blissfully unaware of the trend that began in his school, but if someone was to send him some untasteful anonymous prank, Merlin knows what he might do. Make a rule to check each and every letter and parcel? Maybe ban post altogether?

You were rather enjoying this situation. You wrote quite a few letters to your friends and received some in return. The first two were from Natty and Poppy, unsurprisingly, but more followed. There was a short but sweet letter from Ominis and a slightly longer letter from Amit. You made sure to hug both boys, rendering them flustered but very happy.

You also wrote letters to every staff member (except for the Headmaster). You added a phoenix feather to your letter to professor Howin, wrote the letter for professor Weasley along with Deek, the letter for Ronen was transfigured into a swarm of butterflies that would fly into his classroom and form into an envelope right before his eyes, and so on. You saved professor Sharp for last.

You stared at the blank piece of parchment for a long time. There were so many things you wanted to tell him, to let him know how you feel. How much you really adored him, how safe he made you feel, how much you longed to feel his hands on you, to get lost in his strong arms, to feel his lips on your own... But you just couldn't bring yourself to confess. Not yet, at least. Not when you weren't sure that he felt the same way. His rejection would tear at your heart, your soul, way more painfully than your longing did. What you wrote was:

‘Dear professor Sharp,

Thank you for everything. There were moments in my life during which I felt hopeless, and lost, and broken. And if you weren’t there for me, I most likely wouldn't be here today. I admire you greatly, and I hope you don’t mind me saying that I am very fond of you as well. It's an honour to be able to learn from you, and I cannot imagine how I'd fare without you here.

Yours truly,

(F/N) (L/N)’

Was it too obvious? Too straight forward? What if he thought it was a prank? Hopefully he wouldn't - he knew you were always honest with him. Well, almost always, seeing as you held yourself back from straight up admitting your love for him. 'Professor Sharp, I love you'. 'PS, I love you'. Instead you wrote: 'PS, looking forward to our next chat over tea.'

You  walked over to the Owlery, hoping the November air would clear your head and calm your nerves a bit. You attached the letter to Diana's leg, scratching the owl under her chin. "Bring this to professor Sharp," you said softly. The dark owl took off right away.

—

Aesop was of course aware of the little trend that broke loose in Hogwarts, but didn’t really care as long as it didn’t disturb his lessons. To his surprise, he too received a few letters of appreciation. Unlike Mirabel or Abraham, there weren’t many, but all of them seemed genuine. He wouldn’t admit it, but they did flatter him quite a bit.

After one of his lessons, however, a greater sooty owl flew into his classroom. His breath caught in his throat. “Hello, you,” he’d say in barely more than a whisper as the bird sat upon his desk elegantly, holding out her leg for him. She flies off again once he takes the letter attached to it, leaving a single feather behind on his desk. The door of his classroom closes shut following a flick of his wand. He had a free period now and should not be disturbed by anyone for the following two hours. 

He opened the letter and got to reading. His dark eyes softened as they glided over the words written in your elegant script, one of his hands coming up to support his chin. His heart hammered loud in his chest. Once he reached the letter’s end, his eyes went right back to the beginning. His letter was definitely different from the one Dinah received from you. It was no less respectful, but it felt more… heartfelt. Deeper, maybe? Perhaps he was reading too much into this. Maybe he was seeing things he wanted to see, things that weren’t actually there. 

Aesop sighed and put his face into his hands, staring at the letter on top of his desk. You were, well, friends. Considering your long conversations in his office, in his chambers, your mutual respect and understanding, you definitely stopped being simply ‘a teacher and his student’ some time ago. But were you even more than that? He couldn’t be sure, not absolutely. 

His thoughts were going a thousand miles per hour. He grabbed one of the blank rolls of parchment lying close by and opened it. Without thinking, he dipped his quill into ink and began writing.

‘Dear (F/N) Miss (L/N),

The moments I’ve spent in your company this last year and a half were some of the best of my entire life more enjoyable than I would have thought possible, and they became the highlight of my days. I am always more than glad to accept you over for tea and a talk, and I feel honoured to have your affection friendship. Whatever you do once you graduate in June, I hope you won’t be a stranger, and will visit your old potions master. That is, if  you wish time allows you to do so. You have grown into an accomplished, clever, beautiful young woman, and I wholeheartedly believe that you can achieve anything you set your mind to.’

He looked at the parchment with a heavy sigh. Even if he wrote the entire thing again, without the crossed out words, he still didn’t think he’d ever be able to send it…

‘You’ve no idea what you’re doing to me,’ he wrote next, his handwriting not nearly as neat as before. He was not going to send this letter anyway, so why bother. ‘ You’ve no idea what you make me feel, do you? I’m an old, crippled, ex-Auror potions master, but everytime I’m with you, I feel like a bloody teenager again. Merlin… it’s so despicable of me to want you this way, but when you’re with me, I… I almost feel like you return these sentiments. That you look at me the same way.

I feel so horribly shameful when I see you waltzing around the school in your uniform, but when we met in The Leaky Cauldron before the term started, for just those few hours I thought… I thought I actually had a chance. A chance to hold you in my embrace, to kiss your sweet lips, to feel your young body curl into my own. When you sat opposite of me, in that beautiful gown, looking like a dream come true, I wanted to pull you against me and never let go. I wanted to drag you off to one of the rooms and, just for a while, forget that I’m your professor and that you’re my student. To, just for a while, pretend that we’re nothing but a man and a woman, surrendering to their most basic emotions and desires.

Every time you look at me with those brilliant eyes of yours, I am in heaven, and I am in hell. Your gaze, it scorches me, it makes my guilt burn in my chest… And yet, at the same time, it sets my blood aflame. It makes me want to surrender to you entirely. It makes me imagine what must it be like to have your body in my arms, under my own, to be allowed to touch you, and-’ Oh, Merlin! Aesop was breathing heavily, a deep flush on his face. To his horror, he felt himself aroused in his trousers. He truly was a deplorable, depraved creature, wasn’t he?

It was foolish of him. What could he even offer you, other than an entirely too old, gruff ex-Auror with a lame leg? Other than his love, his heart. He put his head into his hands. He willed his excitement down, making a mental list of ingredients needed for a successfully brewed Felix Felicis potion. He crumpled the parchment into his overcoat pocket. It wasn’t a love letter. It wasn’t a letter at all, more like mad rambling of a foolish beast of a man. 

Maybe he could still salvage the first part, make something innocent and kind out of it. You deserved it. Your letter moved him, it was only fair he wrote something in return. He was going to, in the evening. For now, he just needed to calm down. The seventh years would be arriving for their NEWT class soon, and you’d be there with them. He had to keep a straight face, keep his treacherous mind out of the gutter, keep his heart from beating too fast or too loud.

An hour later, when you entered the classroom, professor Sharp was leaning against the edge of his desk, observing your classmates with a bored expression as they made their way to their potions stations. When your eyes connected, however, there was a little spark in them. You nodded at him with a smile, and, if you didn’t spend so much time around him, you might’ve missed the tiniest little twitch of his mouth in reply.

The class was frankly uneventful. Everyone, even the Weasley boy, were extra careful as they brewed their Essence of Insanity potions. Seems nobody was too keen on going actually mad during his class. He hobbled around the classroom, offering occasional critique and advice, a few words of praise even, once or twice. He had to admit, this years’ graduating students were quite capable. He stopped by your potion for a bit, looking over your shoulder as your hand stirred the cauldron’s contents elegantly. He hummed in quiet approval. 

When he moved over to the middle of the room, he wanted to at first reprimand Mr Sallow for having some clutter on his work station, but when he saw just what it was, his voice died in his throat. It was a piece of parchment and a quill, lying by his potion book, and your name was written on it in the Sallow boy’s scrawl. Pretending to be looking at the lad’s ingredient cutting technique, he read the first few lines.

‘Dear (F/N),

Sorry to be probably the last one to write to you, but it took me a while to think up what it actually was I wanted to say. You’re a good friend, and one of the most important people in my life, but I was kind of hoping that we could become more than just friends…’ Aesop couldn’t read any longer. He turned away with a huff and limped morosely over to his desk.

A feeling of horrible jealousy overtook him, and it took all of his willpower not to set Sallow’s letter ablaze, making a fool of himself in his own classroom. He had absolutely no right to feel this jealousy, he had no claim on you. And even if he did, it wouldn’t make him entitled to meddle into the private lives of his students. He was such a fool. That’s what hurt the worst, in fact, how foolish he was. 

You spent a lot of time with him, yes, but you also spent a lot of time with the Slytherin lad. You clearly cared about him, but did you care about him in the same way Sallow cared about you? It would make sense… It would make so much more sense for the two of you to be together, than you being with your gruff professor. His heart hurt terribly. He didn’t leave his chair until the end of class, accepting your bottled and marked potions on his desk wordlessly. When your kind eyes fell upon his own, when they asked him if he was alright, he wanted to give you an encouraging little smile. What formed on his face was a pained grimace.

When his last class ended, he made his way to his chambers, not even bothering to go to the Great Hall for supper. He fished out the parchment from within his pocket and read what he had written. Dear Merlin… He really was deplorable. He wanted to toss the blasted thing into his fireplace, only, as he pulled back his arm to throw, he found he quite… couldn’t. Though the words he wrote should never ever appear in front of your eyes, he had to admit that he meant every single one of them. He hasn’t said or written anything so… sincere for a long time. Many years, in fact. He couldn’t bring himself to destroy it. So instead, he simply crumpled up the parchment and tossed it somewhere to his left. Maybe he’d forget about it, and then destroy it some other time unknowingly. 

—

Professor Sharp went to breakfast early the next day, hoping to avoid as many students and colleagues as he could, his mood even worse than the previous day. However, when he saw what awaited him downstairs, in front of the large door leading to the Great Hall, it took everything within him not to throw himself over the railing of the stairs. 

There were you and the Sallow boy, both of you having arrived not too long ago, it seemed. He had absolutely no wish to pass the two of you on his way inside the Great Hall, so he just hid behind one of the pillars and leaned his back against it. If anyone was to see him like this, he could always say his leg was simply hurting too much and he needed to rest for a while. It wouldn’t have been exactly a lie, his leg really did hurt something horrible since yesterday.

It wasn’t his fault the two of you were talking so loud he could hear you almost perfectly.

“So… you read it then?” asked Sebastian, and Sharp could hear the anticipation in his words. There was a moment of silence. “I did,” came your voice now. Sharp hated himself for it, but he felt strangely happy, when he realised your voice was more sheepish and awkward, rather than pleased and excited. “I read it, and I spent half the night awake, trying to come up with an answer. Well, I realised that it’s probably better I tell you myself, in person.” 

Aesop’s eyes were closed, and he listened intently. “I’m sorry Seb, but I just… I don’t feel about you this way. You too are my friend, and you’re very important to me, but I just… I see you more like a brother than anything else.” Sharp could have cried. He did feel slightly bad for the young Slytherin, but he also couldn’t stop himself from releasing a quiet sigh of relief. By Salazar, he was one selfish bastard, wasn’t he.

“I-...” Sebastian said, “i-it’s alright. I understand.“ “Are you mad at me, Seb?” you asked, your voice worried. “No, I’m not. Of course I’m not. How could I be mad at you, it’s not your fault you don’t see me like… that. Just tell me… there isn’t a chance you’d ever… you know. Change your mind?” There was another moment of silence. “No, there’s not. I’m sorry.”

Sebastian Sallow heaved a sigh: “Alright. Well, at least I know that… “ he sniffed audibly. “I’m so sorry, Sebastian. Come here,” Aesop didn’t see you, but he could clearly imagine you pulling the taller boy into your embrace shortly. “Sorry. I’ll be alright, promise,” said Sebastian with a heavy voice, “let’s just go to breakfast, shall we? I don’t want to keep… just standing out here.” The potions master heard the ‘alone, with you.’ Sallow didn’t say. He knew best how difficult it was to be alone with you and not be able to love you. 

He stood there, leaning against the pillar, for a long time, even after your and Sallow’s footsteps disappeared behind the doors to the Great Hall. “Aesop? Are you alright, dear? Leg acting up again?” He opened his eyes to see Dinah Hecat standing a few metres away from him, looking concerned. “Morning,” he said with a wry grin, “it’s alright. It just… flared up for a while, but it’s fine now. Breakfast?”

—

Your lover excused himself for a while, leaving you alone in his chambers. You went to sit in one of the armchairs, waiting for his return, when you heard something make a crumpling sound underneath you. You stood up again, looking at the seat curiously. There was something peeking out from the tiny space between the cushion and the backrest. You carefully plucked the something out. It was a crumpled piece of parchment, maybe some sort of scrapped potion recipe? You unfurled it, intent on putting it away if it turned out to be some of Aesop’s private correspondence.

It was Aesop’s private correspondence indeed - addressed to you. It was a mess of scratched out words, and it seemed he stopped caring to make the text legible at some point, but it was definitely a letter for you.

You didn’t want to snoop, he surely must have had some reason to not send this to you but… but you couldn’t help it. It took only the first few words for you to realise exactly what it was. It was his reply to the love letter you sent him months ago. He never sent one.

You read with bated breath, observing the care he took not to accidentally reveal to you the extent of his feelings. Until he didn’t. Until he probably realised he was never going to send the letter. You felt your face growing hot as you read his words, his proclamations of love and desire, of his longing. Your heart swelled and pounded in your chest. 

“I’m sorry I made you wait,” came Aesop’s voice from the door of his chambers, so absolutely different from the one he used in his classroom. Your head snapped towards him, the deep blush on your cheeks clearly evident. His brown eyes looked at you curiously, before moving to the parchment in your hand. “I’m so sorry, Aesop,” you stood up immediately, your cheeks still burning, but now from embarrassment and guilt, “I know I shouldn’t have. It was partly behind the armchair cushion.” 

The potions master blinked slowly, before coming over to you, his eyes on the ground. “It’s alright,” he said, “it was addressed to you, after all, I just… didn’t know it was still there. I thought Deek might have perhaps thrown it out when he was cleaning my room.” You came over to stand before him. The two of you observed one another wordlessly for a while. “I’m sorry, darling, I do realise the letter is a bit-” “It’s beautiful,” you said quickly. Aesop didn’t expect to be interrupted the way he was, and it took him a second to realise what you just said. “What?” he replied eloquently. 

“The letter, it’s beautiful, Aesop. I’m sorry to have… read it the way I did, without your consent, but believe me when I say that it’s the most beautiful letter I’ve ever read…” “I-… thank you, I…” he still wasn’t quite looking at you. Your hands came up to touch his face, the stubble on his jaw leaving a prickling sensation on the skin of your palms. “I meant every word, you know,” he said in a voice so quiet, you almost didn’t hear him, “but I wasn’t sure if the words would be welcome… Even now...”

You clicked your tongue upon hearing his admission. “Such a clever man, and such silly thoughts…” you spoke gently, before standing up on your tiptoes. You captured his chapped lips with your own, softly at first, but your tongue soon teased at the seam of his mouth. He granted you entrance without a second of hesitation, his strong arms almost automatically going to curl around your waist and pull you impossibly close to his body. 

The kiss soon became intense, passionate, your tongues dancing sensually with each other. Your fingers were in his hair, and one of his hands was gripping your hip. Soft sounds were being muffled by your hungry mouths, and you were starting to feel seriously hot in your uniform. You were both breathing heavily once you finally parted, your faces flushed and your eyes darkened with excitement.

“Aesop,” you said breathlessly, “would you like to know what I actually wanted to write in my letter to you?” His eyelids were heavy, his eyes darker than a moonless night. They were smouldering, intense, like the mouth of a volcano, and you found yourself wanting to burn. “Tell me,” he said, his voice clouded by arousal. “Actually,” you chuckled breathily, “it’ll be better if I show you…”

Much later, when you were lying in each others’ embrace, exhausted and sated, you used your finger to write a few simple words on the bare skin of his back.

‘PS, I love you.’

Hello! I hope you enjoyed reading. You can check out this story and all of my other stories over on AO3. I'm always happy for kudos and comments!

[maniculum]

Google Docs vs. Geoffrey Chaucer

A while back, just for fun, I pitted Google Docs's fancy new (read: hilariously inept) machine-learning spellchecker against a chapter of my dissertation that contained a lot of quotations from Le Morte Darthur:

At the time I suggested I might go back and do the same with the chapters that included substantial quotation from the Canterbury Tales and (shudder) Piers Plowman... and today I find myself with little better to do, so let's give it a go. Below the cut.

Extremely helpful there, thanks. For the curious, gilofre is a plant; in Modern English it's gillyflower. Clowe is just "clove". "Clowe-galofre" is nowhere on Google or in the OED, but it seems "Galofre" is an attested surname, so Google thinks maybe that's what I meant.

Fascinating choices here. That is of course meant to be nutmeg, and Google Docs has seemingly decided that putting in a space to turn one misspelled word into two words, one of which is spelled correctly, is a positive development. That or this is a continuation of the previously-observed trend that Google turns things into brands and corporation as much as possible -- apparently there is a company called "Emuge-Franken", which is the only result for "emuge" on Google Search.

It hasn't gotten anything right so far, by the way -- all those red underlines I haven't screenshotted anything for, it either suggests a word that is wrong but unremarkably so, or fails to suggest anything.

(Never mind, it got a couple right in between the last one and this one.)

This is interesting in that it shows Google Docs interprets things differently based on capitalization. This instance of bityde is capitalized because it's at the beginning of the line; the other one in the phrase bityde what bityde, which isn't capitalized, Google is able to correctly interpret as "betide". However, it seems to think the first is a proper noun and makes different suggestions. (Blyde is the Afrikaans name of the Motlatse River in South Africa, it would seem.)

I am reluctantly forced to hand it to Google Docs with this one. Like, no, that's not what Chaucer meant of course, but I can respect the shot being taken. Also interesting that it gets the blue underline because you can't really spell a transliteration wrong, but that's not how the system we normally use renders it. Not sure why spere "spear" (Google suggests "sphere") and vestiments "vestments" (Google gets this one right) are also marked as blue (style/grammar) rather than red (spelling), though.

... and now I'm taking what I just handed to Google Docs back away. WTF is this? Why...? you know what, we're moving on.

Bafflingly, Google thinks there is nothing at all unusual about that first line. Yep, that's normal Modern English there.

And here's our first example in this post of Google Docs trying to suggest a spelling that is also in Middle English, because I very much suspect the data it uses has been contaminated. Actually, come to think, if their machine learning system bases its judgments on what other users write rather than the old system with a set dictionary, I bet all the people writing papers about pre-standardized-spelling English literature are really screwing up the data. Which is hilarious -- if true, that would mean that I'm actually part of the problem for writing this whole dissertation full of Middle English quotes in Google Docs.

You might think this is another example of the same, but in fact the change from -ioun to -ion makes that suspect, and the Middle English Dictionary doesn't recognize it without the <u>. And if you Google Refleccion, all the results are in Spanish. However, I can't seem to find it in a Spanish-English dictionary, and those same dictionaries tell me the Spanish for reflection is reflexion -- maybe this is a variant spelling? I only have basic high-school Spanish to draw on here, so if any of my followers are fluent and can explain refleccion to me, I would be interested to learn.

Hm... no, that's not right either. Although a quick Google search tells me that there is a YA book called Physik, so that's probably what's screwing up this one. Probably not ideal for that sort of thing to happen.

And this one, it seems, is French. (Again, according to the Middle English Dictionary, all the attested Middle English spellings have the <u> -- but the French cognate is in fact spelled just like Google suggests, as far as I can tell. I don't speak French at all, though, so grain of salt.) I wonder how that happened -- do non-English words just kind of drift into the machine-learning system's vocabulary? Possibly through the same mechanism I speculated about with the Middle English above -- i.e., people write documents that are mostly in English, but contain some quotations or something in other languages, and if that happens enough, Google starts to think it's an English word?

Wait, is that maybe what's screwing a lot of this up? Either Google's system is going "This document is in English, so all the words in it are English words" and thus stuff just keeps bleeding between languages and screwing up the dictionary, OR Google's system is just kind of language-agnostic and sees no issue with suggesting French words in a document that's mostly in English? Is this why there are so many words that aren't correct Modern English spelling, but which Google Docs doesn't mark wrong? Like, they happen to line up with words in other languages, so Google just thinks you're borrowing really haphazardly throughout?

Also, side note, it tried to correct "hir" to "hirt", which is not an English word, but apparently stands for High Impact Resistance Training. Moving on.

Shenden is a Middle English verb that basically means "to damage or destroy". You don't really see it much in Modern English, though the OED has a couple examples of 20th-century usage. Anyway, I thought this was another case of Google bringing in different Middle English words, but a quick search tells me "Sente" is a skincare brand. That's probably more relevant.

Google Docs again just ignoring whole lines.

Odd choice there, sight being closer than site in terms of spelling. Maybe the algorithm assumes that if you end with an <e> you probably mean the second one.

Interesting, Google Docs. Why do you think that should be "night"? (Oddly, it actually gets all the red-underlined words in this line correct, meaning it pretty much has the context of the word.) Somewhat weird suggestion there.

I'm about a quarter of the way through the document and I think this is long enough for now; I'll probably come back and reblog with additions later. Before I go, however, here are my lists of "things spellcheck should be able to fix but can't" from what I've gone through so far.

First, spellings that differ from Modern English by only one letter, but which completely stump Google Docs (i.e., it marks them wrong but only gives the "why am I not seeing a suggestion?" message):

Goute ("gout")

Herbes ("herbs")

Melodye ("melody")

Smale ("small")

Swete ("sweet")

Syde ("side")

Ther ("there")

Wel ("well")

And second, words that are not correct in Modern English but that Google Docs does not mark wrong:

Anoon ("anon")

Attempree ("a temperate")

Beautee ("beauty")

Bowle ("bowl")

Dar nat ("dare not")

Daunce ("dance")

Dede ("dead")

Doon ("do")

Dronke ("drank")

Dronken ("drunken")

Fyr ("fire")

Gyse ("guise")

Hadde ("had")

Hir ("her")

Hir ("their")

Hond ("hand")

Lak ("lack")

Lakked ("lacked")

Lordes ("lords")

Maad ("made")

Pyne ("pain")

Rasour ("razor")

Sayde ("said")

Shere ("shear")

Som ("some)

Sondry ("sundry")

Spyces ("spices")

Styward ("steward")

Syk ("sick")

Thencens ("the incense")

Usshers ("ushers")

Wente ("went")

Wyf ("wife")

Y-goon ("gone")

[agentkeegan]

"Haven't you heard? Witches don't burn."

Character: Gaz. Maybe angst?? Mainly romance tho! Warnings: Reader gets caught in a fire, Again maybe angst? , Somewhat suggestive flirting.

A/N: This was made at 5AM... I got the idea and had to write it despite being sick. I swear ill make part two of exile, once I feel better!

--- <3

There were always rumors on base you were some sort of witch. The harsh wounds that would take months to heal, took days. The paperwork that would take hours? Minutes. You had crystals in your room as well, but you always told them you were just huge on crystals. Just like other people your age.

Scaring the new recruits was funny as hell. When ever you got your work done earlier than everyone else. You went out of your way to scare them. Acting like you were chanting something out of a book to just pulling out a stick and saying a Harry Potter line. Always had them running.

Today was just another one of those days, you went out of your way to buy a crystal ball on your time off. Setting it up and sitting right by it. The recruits would be heading in from practice in about a minute. All worn out and tired. Hungry and drained. You turned on the crystal ball and it glowed purple. 5....4....3....2..

1.....The doors to the hallway banged open. And the chattering flooded your ears. The groans and the hungry rumbles set there fate in stone as they rounded the corner. The closet you sat in had the door peeked open. Enough for the purple light to shine through. The hallway went quiet. The whispers becoming noise to fill the hallway. "You open it!" A boy whispered to the girl next to him. "No! What if its that witch everyone has been talking about!" She whispered back. Hitting his shoulder.

"Dear God you two, I'll do it. I swear, all of you are being a wuss." Somebody spoke. Loud enough so everybody could hear it. Everyone began to back away from the door, as the person began to walk towards it. They reached their hand onto the door handle and slowly opened it. When the door opened, you began to chant. Loud. Circling your hands on the crystal ball infront of you.

"WITCH!!" They screamed. All of them running off in different directions. Like sprayed roaches. You tried to hold in your laugh but couldn't. You laughed to the point you were crying and holding your stomach on the floor. It was fucking hilarious. Someone joined your laugh, and you looked up to see who it was.

Gaz.

Whipping your tears and finishing you laugh, he spoke. "Scaring the new recruits again love?" He chuckled making his way to the closet to help you up. "Yeah.." you giggled. "Never gets old. They seriously think I'm a fucking witch!" You scoffed, acting offended. "Yeah, well...." He helped you up, bringing you into a hug. "..Your my little witch. Put a spell on my heart?" He cooed. Placing a kiss on your forehead before resting his head on your shoulder. "Cheesy." You rolled your eyes. Running your hands around his back. Bringing one up to his hair. "But pretty fucking adorable. Maybe your a succubus then? Tricking me with your looks?" Grinning, He grabbed your hand and brought it up to his mouth. Planting a kiss on it. "And you know what succubus's do right?" He winked. Teasing you.

"Oh don't get me started." You rolled your eyes, laughing. Snatching your hand away and walking off. "Hey!" He chased after you, taking your hand again as you both bicker and talk about your day. You were his witch who put a spell over his heart. And he was a succubus who used his charm to make you his.

Then why did it come to this?

The fire got bigger as the building welcomed it. The smoke became more unbearable and it got harder to see. Harder to breathe. Your name rang throughout the coms. Gaz and the rest of your team yelled for you, trying to know if you were still alive. Still worth saving to get to exfill. You coughed. Reaching for your coms, trying to press the button. Only for it to be broken.

---<3

Gaz looked into the fire. Struggling to get out of prices grasp and to come get you. Tears trickled down his face. Pure anger and sadness was all he felt. "LET ME FUCKING GO" He snapped at price. Trying to free his wrist from his hold. "Gaz, we are all fucking upset. But we have to fucking go or we are all dead!" He growled at gaz. His hold becoming stronger the more he struggled.

---<3

You limped through the fire, the pain in your ankle becoming harder to withstand. A metal rod was on the ground when you tripped trying to get out. You were able to heal it to some degree, but not fully. How? None of anybody concern. The metal rod still stuck out of your skin, it clearly visible. You grabbed ahold of a wall. Leaning against it as stability, you once again began to shift to some sort of exit. The flames or the jump was the least of your worries. It was the fall and the building slowly collapsing.

Your breath grew heavy, as the smoke filled your lungs. Walking into another ring of fire, allowing the flames to dance over your skin. Only to make it to the other side and for the fire to leave your skin with it. The doors felt infinite. Like every door you opened there was another door to open. Another hall way to walk down and another fire to walk through.

How long have you been in there? How long ago did they leave you? How long ago, did he leave you. 15 minutes? Or an hour? Seconds felt like hours. So you truly had no idea if its only been 5 minutes. But there is always a light at the end of a tunnel. Or, darkness, in this case. Beyond the fire ahead you can see the opened door that lead to the outside. The door, to the night sky.

You walked into the fire. The flames trailing up your legs, wrapping around every curve of your body. Trying to take you for itself. Only for it to fail and for it to only tickle your skin. Causing no harm to your body or clothes. As soon as you walked out, the crumpled to the ground. Only to hear the call of your name, and footsteps running towards you.

---<3

It was just constant argument between price and gaz. "We can't leave her." "Shes clearly fucking dead, and she wouldn't want us dead. We have to go". The restraint could leave marks on his wrists, and the yelling could leave his mouth dry. The tears that stained his checks stopped as the tears were no longer available.

"MATE.. IS THAT FUCKING..."

Soap yelled pointing towards the front door. A shadow figure on the other side of the flames, an outline of you. The argument went quiet as gaz snapped his head to the front door. Them all watching as you began to walk through the flames. "What the FUCK is mate doing?? Is mate an idiot?! Their going to get fucking burnt alive walking through that. " Soap spoke. Ghost chipping in. "Talk about burns.".

You walked through, completely unharmed by the flames. And dropped onto the floor. You were still awake, just weak. The metal pole that was through your ankle visible. Gaz looked towards price, we begging eyes for him to let go. Price nodded. Letting go of his grip on gaz. He bolted. Yelling your name and sprinting towards you.

----<3

He crouched down by you. Your eyes droopy. "Kyle..." you mumbled. "Yeah! Yeah its me." He grabbed you. Propping you up towards him. He began to check for any more injuries. Expecting burns, more bleeding. Only to be met with nothing. "How the hell did you not burn?! Your not hurt anywhere. Besides your ankle. Which already looked almost healed!" He spoke fast. Thinking he was seeing this. Only for you to giggle and his gaze to be meeting yours.

"Haven't your heard? Witches don't burn."

A/N : HAPPY HALLOWEEENN!! I'll proofread it later <3

[sea-side-scribbles]

Solas wakes up in the strange new world of his own making and it terrifies him. Ridden with guilt, he joins the Inquisition and begins his lonely research in order to correct his mistake.

He doesn’t expect to find consolation in the presence of a human who wields ancient elven magic without knowing it. Who is way too gentle for an elgar’thanelan, but doesn’t know that either.

Solas, for his part, doesn’t know how to stay away.

Dorian wonders if the mysterious elf just enjoys playing with a Tevinter. He wouldn’t expect anything else.

_____________________

Chapter 1- 13 | Right after uthenera, Solas is found by a Dalish clan. This goes well until it doesn’t. (Basically my excuse for world building and hilarious misunderstandings.)

Chapter 14 | Solas joins the Inquisition.

Chapter 20 | Dorian appears in Haven.

Chapter 28

The group had to move on for quite a while until Dorian sensed the odd kind of panic without having to strain himself. He didn't actually need more proof for Solas' uncanny grasp on the fade, but it was nevertheless fascinating, even if eerie. Almost captivating. Dorian's attention was drawn to the elf more and more. Maker, he even forgot to comment on the ugly weather that ruined his hairstyle – not that it suffered an embarrassing state anyway since he came to Ferelden. His attention of course remained completely professional – Solas' magical abilities were remarkable.

While studying him, he noted other interesting aspects. The elf's smooth movements, his ability to stay quiet and unnoticed while also – strutting, in a sense. With his naked toes over pebbles and roots. Perhaps that came naturally to elves? He kept his back straight and chest out, albeit not in a stiff manner like Cassandra would. The warrior, always ready to strike, lacked a certain nonchalance. Solas's movements, on the contrary, were fluent, even when he cast spells. He didn't act like an untrained mage.

Whenever the group encountered more undead, Dorian could watch Solas' magic. And he knew how apprentices moved – those stiff postures with too many pauses to think about the next move, their spell combos creative at best and counterproductive at worst – of course depending on the student, but one simply couldn't expect the sort of elegance and confidence the elf put on display. Surely, Solas wasn't a teenager anymore. But wasn't he supposed to be an autodidact?

The little flare he made with the staff before casting, as if he redirected ambient energy to his aura. It was a Tevinter technique. Who would've taught him that if not a Tevinter?

Dorian regretted that their first meeting had been, well, a disaster. There were so many questions he wished to ask. And of course, a friendly colleague would always be appreciated, especially if he was as interesting as this one.

Solas appeared somewhat curious about Necromancy, but sadly, he avoided any attempts at a thorough discussion. Rather, he settled for testing the limits of Dorian's abilities. Dorian was ready to teach him a lesson, as soon as the possibility occurred.

When Solas announced that the panic was nearby, he earned remarks from the party. “Can you sense who's feeling it?”, Varric wanted to know. “People or demons?” Solas' expression tensed shortly. Dorian noticed it since he walked right next to him. “No, I am sorry, Varric, I...” “Don't fret. Maybe it's for the best.” They gave Dorian the impression that even Varric had a secret language with Solas, after Blackwall. How did they make it? They didn't understand half of what Solas was doing!

His anger cooled down when they came upon what looked like an abandoned camp. The emotion was the strongest here, Dorian was sure it came from the menhir in the middle. Ellana already inspected it. “Maybe we should leave this be”, Blackwall suggested, keeping his distance, holding his shield up. The Herald moved carefully, visibly delighted by their find. “It's a message”, she whispered solemnly, as if she stood in front of a memorial. “Look, these runes. They are made for i've'an'ise. It's ancient elven magic.” “I believe some mages know it nowadays as veilfire”, Solas added calmly. “Ah, yes, veilfire”, Dorian had a chance to participate. “It's well-known in Tevinter. There are attempts to reestablish the use of veilfire to secure and share knowledge – and of course to translate ancient elven runes. Could it be that we're standing in front of a work of your ancestors?” “Unlikely”, Solas commented. “It feels younger. Ancient runes are faint, the memories tend to cling to their core over time.” “But it could be Dalish”, Ellana insisted.

With a swirl of her hands, she ignited the torch attached to the stone. They immediately heard the veilfire's chatter of a hundred voices, like memories of ancient conversations, their speakers long gone. Dorian had read about this, but now he heard it with his own ears for the first time. Then the next sensation washed over him. The odd panic, now sensible in all its nuances. Numbers and letters appeared in front of this eyes, repeating themselves, like a code.

”No, this is wrong!” a voice shouted in his head. Was it his own voice? He remembered scribbling numbers, over and over again, the paper crumbling under his frantic hands.

“Rearrange, try again!” It doesn't work! You have to make this work! You can't lose it again!

When he image faded, the mages looked at each other in silence. “The fuck was that?” Varric spoke first. “A memory”, Ellana explained, blinking the dizziness away. “The writer used the runes like a journal.” “I prefer paper.”

Suddenly, loud groans interrupted their musings. From all directions, corpses waded towards the party, a revenant among them. “I knew it!” Blackwall grunted. “A revenant!”, Dorian shouted. “Blackwall, get the armoured one's attention! Solas, protect him with a barrier!” He chose Solas because he had by far the strongest barriers. The elf swung his staff as Blackwall charged with a war cry. “Ellana, can you separate it from the other corpses with your vines?” The Dalish elf followed with a swing of her staff. Mud flew everywhere as the plants burst out of the ground, trapping the corpses on the other side. “Now take them out!”, Dorian shouted as he began to set rotten flesh on fire. Varric let Bianca perforate them while the other mages protected him, until they could move on and finish the revenant together.

When all corpses lay in a puddle on the ground, Ellana pushed her staff in the air, cheering happily. The triumph lifted everyone's mood despite the occasional cuts and bruises and the mud that covered their clothes. “You really know your undead!”, she praised Dorian. “Well, naturally. What kind of a Necromancer would I be if I didn't?” “Just take the compliment, princess. It looks like your useful after all.” “Warden Blackwall, I always appreciate your winsome compliments.” They laughed as Solas quietly dropped a medal in Ellana's hands. She gave him a surprised look. “Don't be too happy about it, Shiny, you don't know where that was before”, Varric quipped and earned a slap on the arm from Ellana.

“Now what exactly happened?”, Blackwall eyed the torch. “You lit the fire and those things came at us.” “I suppose the fire attracted them. They didn't exactly come for us”, Ellana answered. “Huh, if this helped clearing out the land of them, it was worth it”, Blackwall said. “I would like to read more of those runes, if there are more.” “I indeed sense another memory”, Solas confirmed. “With a strong feeling of … arrogance.” “You're standing too close to Dorian”, Blackwall commented. They laughed as said Dorian turned to Ellana. “They are in fact interesting. Perhaps we find out what the writer so desperately sought.” Varric and Blackwall looked at each other, shaking their heads. “Mages...” “....already outnumbered.”

As it was decided, Solas guided the party to the next beacon. It was where Ellana's hopes for discovering messages of her people shattered. The strong emotions of arrogance and bitterness originated from an apostate, a former mage of a Circle. Their diary described some vicious plan to “look beyond the vistas of the fade”, with the help of demons. And a certain plant. Since then, Ellana's interest in the beacon weakened, but she agreed to clean the area of undead if they came across another. She also marked the beacons on Harding's map, along with other spots they found.

They spent more time wandering on, getting rid of occasional undead until both Solas and the mark on Ellana's hand confirmed that there was a rift nearby. “Does that mean the mark is a manifestation of Rift Magic?”, Dorian succeeded to ask Solas. “Not necessarily. Magic of this power tears at the veil either way.” “Naturally, with just enough power, we could all create rifts on our own. But this seems to be specifically bound to the veil.” “Some would say only Blood Magic had such strength.” “Ah...I see. The answer to all problems. I should say I prefer the mark as it is. At least it keeps our throats intact.” Solas had nothing to add and Dorian wondered why it always came to the unpleasant topics.

Before they encountered the rift, they came across an Avvar. The first one they found in the entire Mire, and this particular giant seemed to be friendly. “Our Chieftain's son wants to fight you. I'm called in when the dead pile up”, he explained with disgust in his deep voice. He was more interested in the rifts. Claimed they were wounds in his goddess' skin. The Lady of the Skies apparently wrote warnings for him in the sky, in the form of bird flocks. “The other Avvar kidnapped an Inquisition patrol”, Ellana told him. “Are they all right?” “A few were injured in the skirmish, but they were alive last I saw them. Someone's trained them well. They killed more of us than I thought they would”, the Avvar confirmed, expressing his respect. Varric was very relieved to hear this. “Praise Curly.” “Tuelanen ama na”, Ellana made her farewells, returning her respect to the peaceful Sky Watcher, “May the creators protect you.” “Watch the water”, was his pragmatic answer.

Later, the party had to deal with the wraiths, corpses and rage demons that poured out of the rift. A very uncomfortable part of fighting demons was that they appeared randomly at any spot they fancied, making it hard to prepare and get a working formation. Dorian felt Solas' barrier around him. It had a distinct taste and smell that he felt now stronger than before, presumably because of the rift. It weakened a little when the elf fade-stepped and cast winter's grasp on the closest rage demon. When the rift was finally closed, everyone was exhausted. Dorian could feel the slump of energy when the veil closed. He stopped in his tracks, bending over and taking a few deep breaths. He wasn't the only one.

In the evening, they finally reached their new camping spot. Dorian was delighted to see that it was in a cave this time. Right under the stony canopy, he stopped and stretched his arms, head held up. “Do you feel this?”, he sighed to Ellana who watched him. She looked around. “I feel nothing.” “Exactly.”

Their meal was quieter this time. After merely chewing on beef jerky and biscuits on the way, the camp's stew was a delicacy for Dorian. He couldn't complain, was too tired to speak in general. And too hungry. The group had dissolved as well. Blackwall and Solas had separated themselves from the others again and talked quietly to each other. Dorian had a short conversation with Varric, who was obviously distracted by something and more taciturn than usual. Ellana spoke to Harding, the map rolled out on the table before them, probably debating tactics for the next day.

Dorian remembered the book he found in the house and gave it a try. He was so enthralled by the first chapter that he only looked up when it was much later at night. People had moved on from stew to mead. He heard their muffled conversations, laughter and games from within the cave. Then Solas caught his attention. The elf knelt in front of a tent to draw runes on the ground. Dorian watched him for a while. Suddenly, he felt nervous.

If he went into the tent with him right away, what would that look like? He'd prefer to have another night without noise, moisture and insects, but obviously, others deserved this favour, too. The elf disappeared into the tent, leaving Dorian to choose. Undecided, Dorian looked around, went further into the cave to see who else was about to go to sleep. It turned out that his companions were pretty occupied, Ellana had gotten Varric to play cards with her, watched by soldiers who discussed the game, and Blackwall seemed to give her advice. Nobody took notice of the Tevinter.

Dorian returned, picked up his bedroll and hesitated, pretending to check the runes. After a while, when it was either going for it or running away to hide in the Mire forever, he chose the former.

Solas sat on his bedroll, cross-legged and writing into a notebook that Dorian saw for the first time. Their eyes met. With Solas' cold facade upon him, Dorian could already hear his rejection. That watery Haven-mead suddenly looked a lot more inviting. “Would you mind if I...?”, he said since Solas refused to speak for some reason. The elf still held off his answer, staring Dorian down, slowly letting his book sink. Dorian lost his nerve. “I see”, he said and retreated.

Outside, with his heart pounding in his chest, he was ready to down one mead after the other until he'd pass out in a corner. Then he heard the voice. “Dorian...” A little urgent, but nevertheless softer, friendly even. Dorian turned around. For the first time, Solas seemed to lift his head to look at him, instead of sneering down through squinted eyelids. He appeared to search for something in his features. Again with the staring. Dorian tilted his head, biting down any remarks.

“I just wanted to say...You are allowed to sleep wherever you like, so...choose as you will...” Solas' gaze avoided him, wandered to his feet, as if awaiting -what? An uproar? Demons falling from the sky? Dorian could use some now. “Solas, I won't do this without your consent. And I really don't mind”, he pressed out, trying to help. This elf struggled to reject, perhaps for courtesy reasons? Although courtesy had never stopped him before. Was it something elven? Whatever it was, Dorian didn't have the strength to dance and play.

“Well...you...have my consent”, Solas said and folded his arms behind his back. His eyes met Dorian's again, expression surprisingly neutral after all the sneers and stares. The gesture had something final. Now Dorian stared. There was no way out of this situation, not without insulting Solas. That elf was either horrible at rejection or...

Before Dorian could end his thoughts, Solas turned around and went back into the tent, without granting him another look. Dorian considered to leave. But again, it would be an insult. And he wanted to avoid any rumours about the evil Tevinter disrespecting elves.

Back inside, Solas was busy with his notes again. He shortly looked up, only moving his eyes, before he turned back to the book. Dorian carefully spread his bedroll next to him, leaving as much space between them as possible and lay down. The quiet scratching of the pencil on paper was the only sound in the tent. He wished to say something, but also feared to ruin the peace they had accomplished. He wondered if he could continue their chat about magic, since that had worked out well enough.

“Good work with your rifts there....they effectively amplified my spells”, he finally brought out, after clearing his throat. The scratching stopped. It was quiet for an unbearable amount of time before Solas answered: “You deserve credit, Dorian, for warning us about the revenant.” As a reflex, Dorian waved him off. “Ah, that was simple enough, merely textbook procedure...” Silence ensued, then the pencil scratched again. Ridiculous to think the elf would continue to praise him. But completely no reaction?

Dorian tried again: “I wonder, did you sense the demon in the revenant's corpse?” The scratching stopped again. “Why do you ask?” There was an undertone that made Dorian uncomfortable. Still, he went on: “You work with spirits, too, in your own way. You successfully communicate with them to retrieve the medals for Ellana.” “Because they radiate strong emotions.” “I assume a rage demon would do that, too.” “What are you trying to accomplish, Dorian? Do you wish to lessen your impact on our victory?” “I would never! I'm quite fond of my abilities myself. I'm only curious...” Another moment of silence followed. Solas didn't appear to cater to his curiosity, as he never did. Eventually, Dorian worked up the courage to say: “Your technique is Tevene.” Solas had enough interest to look up from his notes. “Anything specific on your mind?” “You're redirecting ambient energy to your personal aura. I haven't seen anyone in this part of the world do it.” “The technique is not Tevene, it is elven.” “Oh, that means we...nevermind...”

In the now awkward pause, Dorian wished to cut out his tongue and feed it to the druffalos outside.

“Do you have a good memory, Dorian?”, Solas suddenly asked. Dorian lifted his head. The elf looked at his notes, eyes squinted, as if he focused on something. “The first veilfire runes...I cannot remember their exact shape...” Then he shook his head and turned the book around, so the Tevinter could see the pages. Dorian was surprised by a detailed drawing of the menhir, with textures, ivy leaves and the landscape around it. He had drawn the runes, too, but a few parts were missing. “If I remember correctly...” Dorian sat up and reached for Solas' pencil. After a second of hesitation, Solas handed it out while holding the book. Carefully, Dorian sketched the runes, wondering why they of all things where what the elf struggled to memorize. “There, with the circles and the twirl to to left...” Dorian gave the pencil back. Solas studied the outcome before he said: “Thank you.”

“Is there anything you can't do?” Dorian marvelled at the finished drawing. The elf, once again, took his time for his answer. “Antivan character dance”, he then said without looking at him. “Ah, well, aren't they taught this at a very young age? It's no shame to be unable to reproduce that...” Solas chuckled. Dorian wasn't sure he had ever seen him smile before. “You are well acquainted with dances, I presume?” The elf's tone was softer now. “Certainly, it's part of my education as the spoiled Altus progeny I am...” Solas looked up from his notes. “You are an Altus?” “Well, yes.” Dorian stretched himself, appreciating the sudden attention. “Can't you tell it by my delicate features and perfect proportions, the result of centuries-long, meticulous breeding?” The elf ignored that. “It means your ancestors were dreamers.” “That is true. Sadly, this talent has faded away over time. I'm not a dreamer, just in case you entertained the idea.”

Solas seemed to think about this information. Dorian caught himself looking at the little wrinkles on his furrowed brow. They were almost endearing. “If you like to know more about Tevinter, or about me, just ask. I will exert myself to answer all your questions to your full satisfaction”, Dorian offered, feeling more comfortable now. “I would like to finish my thoughts first...”, Solas replied, continuing to write. Or draw. “Of course.” Dorian tried not to show his disappointment. The scratching on papier continued. The sound was unexpectedly soothing. Dorian closed his eyes and relaxed, waiting for Solas to finish. He didn't notice when he fell asleep.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Palm Springs (2020)

Palm Springs is a consistently funny, well-executed time-loop comedy full of unexpected depths. I’d seen it before, called it one of my favorite movies of 2020 but was a little hesitant when my coworkers suggested we watch it together. A movie this good I don’t want to watch over and over; I want to space out my viewings so I can forget the little details and re-capture some of the surprise I got the first time. My apprehension was unfounded, as it proved just as good on a rewatch. You don’t know what you’re getting into when you step into this movie.

On November 9, in Palm Springs, Sarah (Cristin Milioti) is shocked when Nyles (Andy Samberg) - a complete stranger - gives a touching speech at her sister’s wedding. While everyone celebrates, they connect privately. The next morning, Sarah wakes up. It’s still November 9th. Nyles has been stuck in a time loop. Every morning, he wakes up and it’s November 9th. Now, it's happening to Sarah too.

You expect a certain kind of humor from this concept. Nyles has done it all so he knows exactly what dance moves everyone will pull during the wedding reception - it makes him move on the floor like no one else could - and his time in the loop has made him so nonchalant about stuff like death it’s hilarious. That’s all well done but the big laughs come from his pairing with Sarah. She’s new to this, so he has to do his best to explain to her everything he already knows about this time loop, to no avail. It gets funnier when she accepts her fate and decides to make the best of it. With their life free of consequences, they pull elaborate pranks on the wedding guests, spring expertly coordinated and rehearsed dances “out of nowhere” and find endless ways to mess around and have a good time.

With excellent performances by Andy Samberg and Cristin Milloti - who have terrific chemistry, it’s easy to think this will be a nice, breezy rom-com that eventually gets solved when…. I dunno. The two declare their love for each other and break the time-loop spell or something? but there's more to the movie. Nyles has been stuck in the time loop for so long this is his life now. While everything may reset every day, it’s a vacation that will never end. He never has to work. He can do whatever he wants and never suffer the repercussions. Nothing he does matters, and he sees it as a good thing. Every morning he wakes up in a relationship with a woman who’s cheating on him (Meredith Hagner as Misty) but he doesn’t care. In fact, he likes it. If he ever wants sex, he knows what to say to her and on the days where he finds Misty intolerable, he’ll befriend someone else at the party. What’s there not to love about this perpetual Palm Springs? As he falls for Sarah, it feels as though things have just gotten better… but they aren’t, because she’s not like him. Breaking free from the time loop could be synonymous with that stage in a relationship where you move in together, meet each others’ parents, or get married. Moving forward is scary, it carries risks, but without those risks, what's the point? Sarah understands that the uncertain is what makes life living. The way our protagonists grow and the realizations they make along the way is often upsetting, which compliments the hilarity wonderfully. This is the kind of movie you can watch over and over and always find some new detail that makes you see just how well-written it is.

Palm Springs starts off as raunchy fun and then comes at you from the side with the heavy emotions. The blend is so smooth you look back and are surprised you didn’t see it coming. It packs so much into its story and characters you’ll be shocked it only lasted 90 minutes. This is a refreshingly romantic and uproarious movie - a new favorite for everyone who sees it. (September 16th, 2021)