#never felt so girly in my life
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lunarharp · 3 months ago
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uhh another modern au agott follow-up. They've gotten progressively sillier
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huellitaa · 3 months ago
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i giggle so hard whenever i see one of my posts on someone else's blog like omg..... i'm actually liked by people..... blushing rn
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aiscapades · 2 months ago
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this isn't touchstarved related i just wanna say something into a void that cares
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getting ready for a concert tomorrow && i was having such horrible body image issues with my skirt x corset combo. just wasn't feeling it. so i thought i'd go a more masc western route to fit the vibe of the artist && wow i love 🩷 masc fits 🩷 i love working WITH not AGAINST my broad shoulders and Thick arms and hiding my boobs away and wow. i love gender nonconformity i love gender expression i love being free. finally free
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bunnihearted · 4 months ago
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#i feel the way i feel and i dont owe it to anyone to hide my sadness </3333#also i just have bpd and even somewhere many ppl have that u cant even say anything but im just having a breakdown now 🤷🏻‍♀️#anyway what i wanted to say is that i AM sensitive and emotional and stupid#and it does hurt so much when the person i want and love doesnt feel that way for me#and i feel bad saying stuff like this bc ppl dont really understand but#i dont feel..: a whole lot... for anyone but him thats just how it is#so he IS a loss he IS so hard to lose and thats just how i feel#and it hurts sm bc hes the only one i wanna talk to but i cant#i know this is smth most ppl deal with in life and like it's just part of being a human#i just everyday keep thinking of things that remind me of him or i read a book i wanna tell him abt and then the pain comes back#bc the thing is i kinda only want to talk to him abt it all bc i just dont /feel/ a lot talking to others#that doesnt mean i dont appreciate it or care i just dont know how to explain#maybe it's my avpd? but i just dont feel happy or nice or good or comfortable or excited or interested in the same way :((((#i dont know i barely know what im talking or thinking about#and i keep saying the same things over and over again im just so sad and it feels like i always will be#bc i have bpd and then the pain feels all consuming and like it will never end and its just so hard to deal with#and even if it might be true when ppl say stuff like u deserve love or you're gonna find someone else etc#im not ready to receive it bc i only want this specific person and i get that many ppl deal with unrequited love and its part of life#but i AM scared bc im 25 and i've never ever met anyone i feel even a fraction for what i feel for him#what if im someone who doesnt get many chances w ppl? what if im cursed to be alone and never find anyone i have a mutual connection to????#so therefore i just wanted thought believed and hoped it would be him#and yes i acknowledge that a lot of it was just me wanting that and not realizing reality but its still how i felt#and as a bpd girlie my emotions are all consuming 🥴#so bottom line is i kinda just wanna die bc i wanna talk to him every second bc im crazy and mentally ill and since i cant do that im in sm#pain hahahah :D#and i will complain abt it bc it hurts so much idk what to do!!!!! ☺️
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eggscaffolding · 6 months ago
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My biggest most secret confession go:
I knew nothing about Supernatural. I was eleven-ish when I was looking through Netflix and I found it, wow!!
I was pretty sheltered so I had no idea it was insanely popular, I just went “wowoahh monster killing fun”
However, my mom was iffy on horror/monster-y things (see above about being sheltered) so I felt as if this was the eighth deadly sin, and hid the fact I was watching it like I would be sent to the stocks or something
Here’s where it actually kicks in.
A while later, I’m still enjoying Supernatural (still unaware of its popularity) and my mom has gotten way more chill
My mother, brother, and I tended to watch an episode or two of a show together as a family each Friday night or something
You might know where this is going
SO IMAGINE MY 11/12 YEAR OLD SURPRISE WHEN
I hear the DREADED, the FEARED, the MOST AWFUL THING POSSIBLE
“Oh this looks fun” and I LOOK UP TO SEE SUPERNATURAL (my mom was ALSO like “woah!!!! killing monsters! Fun!!)
So I’m freaking out but I stay calm
I was built for this
I had years of drama camp under my belt and I was ready to put on the act of my life
And like any logical person, instead of saying ANYTHING about the fact I know it, or even know it exists, I go “yeah sure seems cool” when they ask if we should watch it
THEN
For the next like… FOUR OR FIVE SEASONS??? I watch with them SLOWLY and the ENTIRE TIME I am pretending I have NEVER seen ANY of it and went “oh wow I hope he makes it (😰)” and stuff for the WHOLE TIME
then after a point, I got tired of hiding the fact my Netflix account (which was very much able to be seen by them) was like three seasons ahead, so I told them I just watched ahead on my own account because I wanted to find out what happened next
And THAT is how I explained that away
But wait
It gets BETTER (maybe)
To this day, they still have NO clue that this happened. I have never told them that we did not discover Supernatural as a family, I will never tell them just found it and watched it in secret.
It’s too late to go back and this will be kept to my grave.
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cupiare · 8 months ago
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walking into work tomorrow for the staff training day after i got rejected for the job i was near guaranteed to get and didn’t find out the news from my boss who i was with the whole morning in TUTOR PLANNING DAY FOR NEXT YR FOR TUTORIALS THAT TUTORS WOULD BE DOING THAT I WAS BOOKED INTO WITH THE TUTORS THE ROLE I APPLIED FOR AND HAD A VERY GOOD INTERVIEW FOR i found out from a noreply auto generated email from hr that was sent out as soon as i stepped out of the meeting room :) and then got invited back to the meeting for the rest of the day where my manager repeatedly talked about taking my good ideas from my interview and implementing them into tutorials next yr. after i got rejected via generated email. How we doing guys 😆
#p#me personally. and not just me literally everyone else coworkers students anyone but my manager apparently was in my favor#like advocated for me#i got insanely good feedback from everyone#like that job is. mine already. i’ve done that job and my job and i did that voluntarily#no hate to the other candidate lovely girlie she is but being told my interview was great#and my teaching task was great and she’s never seen HER OWN GROUP OF STUDENTS so engaged in a task before#and then being highly praised for my vision and ethic etc#and me knowing this shitass school and system inside out and still wanting to be here and being passionate abt what i do#and STILL i get turned down. thats personal i take it personally#but bcs i know this place i wouldn’t have been surprised if it was just that#its the cruelty of how they let me know#this entire day was like being spat in the face#like thanks for all your hard work! bye now! you won’t be here much longer but we’ll take all the good things you’ve come up with!#i’m so shocked#i had a go at my manager and APPARENTLY the email wasn’t supposed to go out ‘yet’ but its a very convenient coincidence that it did then#isnt it#i’ve never in my life felt so disrespected ngl#like i still didn’t get a proper conversation about it ???? literally only got good feedback and a quick apology???#how dare you and what did i do to you to deserve this like literally#my feelings are CRUSHED its essentially like getting laid off#cause i’m gonna leave soon anyway its like yeaaa we don’t want you actually#well then ! thanks for treating me like a valuable employee and person with feelings
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sweetsweethate · 10 months ago
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si, tambien me saque foto en el obelisco
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cadykeus-clay · 1 year ago
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fey and flowers has laid me out and killed me dead
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pikslasrce · 2 years ago
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thank you global warming <3
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lazymcfail · 2 years ago
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everytime i think about my gender i get really frustrated and confused and break out in an itchy rash. it's too complicated idk
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lazyfox411 · 15 days ago
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blackbeardsemophase · 7 months ago
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sungwanns · 1 year ago
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I’m your poet, I’m your pain 🔮💘
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likeumeanit9497 · 5 months ago
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like a pornstar | c.s. |
chris sturniolo x fem!reader
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summary: when y/n, chris' best friend, confesses that she has never finished during sex, he decides to change that
warnings: smut; oral (fem receiving); unprotected p in v; dirty talk; established friendship; squirting; 18+
notes: back again with a friends with benefits smut (shh im manifesting). i hope the chris girlies enjoy, and matt girlies don't worry my next one shot is for u ;) love y'all <33333
ᵕᵕᵕᵕ୨♡︎୧ᵕᵕᵕᵕ
“Hey! You’re gonna eat all the popcorn! Give me some.” I exclaimed before snatching the half eaten bag of popcorn from Chris’ grasp. He tried to say something in a rebuttal, but all he got through his mouthful of popcorn was garbled words and a slight spray of kernels. “Oh god, you’re foul.” I said jokingly before wrapping my leg around his to lighten my words. “Just hush, I can’t hear the show.”
Chris and I had been best friends since elementary school, and had always had a bond like no other. When he had moved out to California a few years ago, I had really struggled with the loss of seeing him practically everyday. But since then, I had been able to come out and visit him multiple times, and it was so exciting to have him show me the new life that him and his brothers had built for themselves on the other side of the country.
In the past, each time I had visited him in Los Angeles the weather had been amazing, so I had forced Chris to explore all over the city with me. However, this visit had been nothing but rain, so him and I had done little more than what we were doing right now: curling up under the covers with some snacks and a couple joints, binge watching all of our favourite shows from high school. We were currently re-watching Euphoria — one of my all time favourite shows — as a light trickle of rain acted as background noise.
As we worked through our snacks, the scene where Maddy and Nate’s relationship dynamic is described played. I popped a handful of popcorn in my mouth, relishing in the nostalgic feeling that the show brought me, as the scene continued on to describe how Maddy watched porn to study how she should look and sound during sex. As the character arched her back on her bed, her eyes plastered to a device playing porn, I let out a small chuckle.
“What?” Chris turned to me with a confused smile. “Nothing. It’s nothing.” I replied, shaking my head and shoving more popcorn into my mouth to stifle my ridiculous laughter. “Brooo, tell me.” He whined, grabbing my shoulder and shaking it jokingly. I rolled my eyes at his dramatics. “Oh my god, fine! I was just laughing because I used to do that.” I finally responded, and Chris turned to me and raised a quizzical eyebrow. “Wait, what?” He brought a fistful of candy to his mouth. “I used to study porn too, not to get off on it or anything, just to like know what I was supposed to do.” I admitted, feeling my cheeks grow warm as Chris just stared blankly at me.
Finally, Chris blinked a few times, pulling himself out of his blank stare to resume eating snacks. “I don’t understand that honestly,” He began, reaching his hand into the popcorn bag between my legs, “I feel like when you’re in the moment all of those sounds and movements and stuff come naturally, don’t they?” I shrugged before responding. “Not for me, to be honest. I’ve never really had any sort of sexual interaction that made me feel good enough to act and sound like a porn star.” I chuckled, keeping the conversation lighthearted. This wasn’t the first time Chris and I had talked about our sexual experiences, so I felt comfortable being honest with him.
But when I fixed my gaze back onto him, I was met with a confused expression. “So does that mean you’ve never…” He dragged out his sentence, seemingly too afraid to complete it, so I saved him the trouble and answered his unfinished question with a solemn shake of my head. At this, his eyebrows shot up in what seemed to be total shock, complete with a dropped jaw. “You’re not serious, Y/n.” He said simply, and I once again shrugged my shoulders. “I mean it’s pretty common for girls to not be able to finish during sex, you know that.” I replied, to which he titled his head to the side and looked off into the distance.
“I guess so, but I’ve personally never ran into that problem before.” He replied, a cheeky smile taking over his face, and I rolled my eyes. “Oh Jesus, well too bad not all men are the Christopher Sturniolo.” I joked, unintentionally stroking his ego before refocusing my gaze on the show. The room was silent for a brief moment, both of us back to watching the show, before Chris spoke up again. “I just think that’s really fucked up. Sex should make both people involved feel good.” I wrapped my leg tighter around his. “Well aren’t you a crowd pleaser.” I joked. Turning to once again face him, I was expecting to be met with his classic grin. But instead, his face was serious; his mouth was set in a straight line and his blue eyes had darkened.
His expression was one I rarely saw, but it made my stomach tighten subconsciously. My throat suddenly felt extremely dry, and I couldn’t speak. My breath hitched when Chris brought a hand under the covers and placed it gently on my bare thigh, rubbing small circles into the skin. And my head began to spin when he shifted his body so that he was completely facing me. “You know, I bet I could make you sound like a porn star.” His poker face was finally replaced with a smirk, this one much more sinister than the one that I usually saw cross his face. He used his hand on my thigh to guide my legs open before brushing a finger just barely against my clothed heat; causing me to gasp. He leaned closer to my frame, already quivering in anticipation, and nibbled gently at my earlobe before whispering.
“Let me make you feel good, Y/n.”
He kept his mouth right there against my ear as he waited for a response, and I could feel his rapid breaths against my skin. My brain was in shambles, and I couldn’t make sense of what was happening. Chris and I had been best friends for so long, but not once had things turned sexual. This was completely uncharted territory for me, and I couldn’t imagine it ending well. But, his hand that was resting in between my trembling thighs and his whispered proposition had already caused my panties to grow damp, so I threw all of my sensibility away by grabbing his jaw, drawing his face to mine, and crashing my lips onto his.
Immediately, Chris worked his lips against mine. They moved in sync as his tongue slipped into my mouth with ease; dancing around my own and filling me with more desire. He brought his other hand under the covers to grab onto my other thigh, where he squeezed harshly before using his grip to pull me up on top of him. Still attacking my mouth with his, he rubbed his hands up and down my body as I straddled him, taking care to focus his attention on my more sensitive parts.
He broke the kiss briefly to pull my oversized t-shirt over my head, before taking a moment to admire my bare chest in his direct line of sight. Without hesitation, he attached his mouth to one of my tits, nibbling and swirling his tongue around my sensitive nipples; causing my body to break out in goosebumps from the sensation. After he took his time on the first, he moved his mouth onto the second, and the new contact caused me to subconsciously grind my pelvis against his thigh; eliciting a moan from me. My erotic sound caused his eyes to shoot open, looking up at my face, before he detached his mouth from my tit to speak. “Real moan?” He asked, his lips swollen, and I nodded my head before grinding my hips against him once more. “F-feels good.” I mumbled, and at that he readjusted himself so that he was sitting up against the headboard; giving me more stability.
“Then keep doing that. Wanna see you feeling good.” He replied, shifting my body so that my core could press right up against the highest point of his thigh. I didn’t hesitate long before resuming my movements, this time moving at a much faster pace; losing myself to the sheer pleasure that the friction of his pants granted me. Chris’ mouth reattached to my nipples, but his eyes never left mine as he took in all of my contorted facial expressions and soft moans. He allowed his lips to travel along my chest up to my neck, where he suckled gently before muttering. “I don’t want you to fake anything, baby, just want you to tell me when it feels good and when it doesn’t. Okay?” I nodded my head frantically, squinting my eyes from the overwhelming pleasure I was feeling.
I looked down to where my body was writhing against him, and even through my shorts and panties I had left a dark patch from my arousal against his grey sweats. Rolling my eyes to the back of my head in bliss, I had never before grown that wet during sex before. I felt my legs begin to weaken around his thigh, and an overwhelming feeling begin to bubble up inside of me. I knew it was my orgasm approaching, but I was hit with a sudden wave of nervousness that was preventing me from reaching it.
“C-Chris, I can’t,” I panted out, and his eyes were immediately on mine. “You can’t what?” He replied, gripping my ass with both hands and helping me grind myself against him. “C-can’t finish.” I replied honestly, feeling my eyes well up with frustrated tears. I had never felt this good in bed with someone before, and still, I couldn’t get myself to cum. “Hey hey, it’s okay,” Chris used his grip on me to stop my movements completely, “It’s an overwhelming feeling, it’s sometimes hard to give in to it.” He brought a hand up to my cheek and stroked it affectionately. “Lie down here.” He patted the space in the bed where I had previously been, and I obliged, resting my head against the pillow.
Once I settled myself, Chris crawled on top of me, resting his weight on one arm. He began kissing me again, this time much slower than the first, and once my heart rate began to slow I took it upon myself to deepen the kiss; pulling his bottom lip gently with my teeth. This elicited a deep moan from Chris, and I felt him grind his clothed member against my core before dragging his mouth down my jaw and neck; leaving harsh kisses in its trail. I watched through droopy eyelids as Chris’ body traveled down my own, and my breathing increased once again when he reached the waistband of my shorts. He toyed with the band for a moment, slipping two fingers under the material before looking back up at me.
“I just want you to relax, lay there, and tell me when you feel good. Can you do that Y/n?” His voice was soft, but it was the unmistakable undertone of gruff arousal laced through it that caused my stomach to flip. I nodded quickly, bringing a hand to his forehead and brushing a few stray hairs back. “Okay.” I replied, causing him to smirk before slowly pulling my shorts and thong down my legs. Once my clothing was completely discarded, Chris encouraged my knees to bend and spread my legs open; exposing my dripping heat completely. “Hmm, so pretty Y/n.” He said lowly, taking in the glistening folds just centimetres from his face.
I watched as he dropped soft kisses along my outer folds before using his hands to spread me open slightly. His mouth inched closer and closer to my aching core, and when he finally connected to it I released a shaky moan. Immediately, he used his tongue to expertly manipulate my clit, causing me to see stars almost instantly. It was clear by his movements that he knew what he was doing, and I had to grip onto his messy curls in order to keep myself in place as he continued. “Is that good baby?” He asked against my bundle of nerves, moving one of his hands from my folds down to my entrance, teasing it in circles as he waited for a response.
“S-so good Chrissy.” I managed to get out before he reattached his lips, this time slowly plunging a digit into me as he continued; causing my hips to buck. “Shh, stay still honey.” He mumbled, still working his tongue and fingers in sync against my heat. The combination of his tongue against my clit and his finger plunging up into my g-spot was staggering, and I was once again feeling the undeniable signs of an upcoming orgasm. Every inch of my skin felt like it was being set on fire, and the pressure in my lower stomach was so intense, it felt like I was going to pee.
I had reached orgasms on my own before, but none had ever had a build up as intense as the one I was currently feeling with Chris. I felt like I could explode, but still, I was struggling to let go once again. “C-Chris, I d-don’t think I — I don’t think I c-can do it.” I cried out, gripping onto his hair like my life depended on it. At this, Chris added a second finger and increased his speed. “Yes you can baby, I know you can. Just breathe and let your body do what it knows to do.” I squeezed my eyes shut from the pressure, and did as he said and released shaky breaths. His movements had the same level of intensity as before, but there was an unspoken level of desperation to them now; clear indication that he wanted to get me there.
Even though it seemed impossible, the pressure inside of me kept getting stronger and stronger. My legs were shaking on either side of his head, and my breaths came out as guttural moans. I felt my body detach from my brain, and I knew I had lost all control over what was going to happen. Just then, the strongest orgasm I had ever felt completely engulfed me, and I could do nothing but cry out in pleasure. My back arched off of the bed, overwhelmed by the extreme sensation. Feverish, strings of erotic notes fell from my mouth, and they could barely be heard over the ringing in my ears.
Mouth agape, I watched in awe as the pressure in my stomach was finally relieved by a rush of fluid shooting from my core. At this, Chris murmured “Oh fuck.” before detaching his lips from my clit and swiftly rubbing it; spraying my fluid all over his face and exposed tongue. My orgasm rippled through me like a tsunami, and left me in a figurative and literal puddle once it died down. Once he drank up all my juices, Chris planted a soft kiss against my clit before dragging his body up mine.
Once he was face to face with me, he gave me a deep kiss. “How was that?” He whispered with a grin on his wet face. Still catching my breath, all I could do was nod. He played with my hair for a moment, tranquility clear on his face, before he suddenly shifted his weight and began climbing off of me. “W-wait.” I said, grabbing hold of his waistband and stopping his movements. He looked down at me with a confused expression, and I wordlessly moved my hand to his crotch, where I was met with what seemed like a painfully hard member. “You’re not gonna fuck me?” I asked, batting my eyelashes innocently as I watched his taken aback expression.
In the blink of an eye, his face darkened once again and he returned to his position above me. “You want me to?” He asked, his face buried in my neck where he peppered it with soft kisses. “Mhmm.” I hummed, using my hand to palm him through his sweats. At that, Chris didn’t hesitate to pull his pants down, leaving his cock exposed. I gasped at its size that had been somewhat disguised when it was still concealed in his sweats, but began pumping my hand up and down as he shuddered in pleasure.
Attaching his lips back onto mine, Chris grabbed onto his shaft and lined it up with my opening. He slid it up and down my folds a few times to collect whatever was left of my previous orgasm, before slowly sliding into me. I gasped at the feeling of my walls stretching around his impressive girth, and we both moaned in unison once he bottomed out. He stayed still for a moment, allowing me to adjust to him, before he began slamming his hips into me.
With his forehead resting against mine, he watched me as I contorted my face into expressions of pleasure, relishing in the feeling of being filled by him. His gruff breathing and occasional deep moans were like music to my ears, and I dug my nails into his bare shoulders to keep him close. “Fuck, your pussy feels so good around me. Not gonna last long.” He groaned, using one of his arms to wrap my leg around his waist. The new angle allowed him to go deeper, and I felt his member slam into my g-spot repeatedly; causing my stomach to fill with that familiar sensation. “Oh god Chris, you’re s-so big.” My voice was coming out squeaky as he continued to pound into me, and he released a harsh moan in response.
I lost myself in the waves of pleasure as they hit me, growing closer to my second orgasm with each of his powerful thrusts. Chris’ gaze on me was so full of lust — clenched jaw, droopy eyes, lower lip trapped in between his teeth — I would have collapsed from its magnitude if I wasn’t already lying down. His motion suddenly shifted from one that was hard and fast to one that was deep and slow, and I couldn’t help but release sharp gasps on each thrusts.
I could tell that I was close to my second orgasm, but he was closer. His breathing was growing more and more rapid, his pace was sloppier, and beads of sweat were dripping down his forehead. As if he was reading my mind, he moaned out. “I-I’m close, want you to cum with me.” My eyes rolled to the back of my head, his words already getting me closer to my high, but I knew I needed to get there faster.
Reaching between us, I found my clit and began rubbing it vigorously. Chris’ eyes followed my hand, and when he realized what I was doing he smirked proudly. “Atta girl.” My action seemed to give him a bit more energy, as his movements began picking up the pace once again; and I found myself on the edge of another orgasm. “Ah fuck, Chris, gonna cum again.” I cried out through my gasps for air just before my second orgasm hit me like a freight train. I felt my walls contract around his swollen member, and that was enough for him to reach his high as well.
Gripping tightly onto my shoulder, Chris plunged his twitching cock in and out of me; driving both of us through our orgasms. I gasped when I felt his fluid shoot deep into me, and savoured the verbal confirmation of his pleasure in my ear. Our moans flew from our mouths in harmony, and it was only once his body stilled above me that I removed my hand from my clit.
We stayed in that position for what could have been hours, catching our breath and falling into the lethargic temperament that always came after sex. Finally, Chris lifted his weight off of me and slid his softening dick out from my core, offering me an apprehensive smile. He stood up and walked into his washroom, coming back over to the bed with a towel to help clean up the mess in between my legs before doing the same to his member. Once I no longer felt like a bowl of jello, I sat up on the bed beside him.
“Well?” He asked, his tone playful as he wiggled his eyebrows awaiting my response. I rolled my eyes before grabbing my top and throwing it over my head. “Would you believe me if I said I faked all of that?” I asked, unable to keep the smile that was toying with the corners of my mouth at bay. He blew air out of his mouth and looked up at the ceiling. “Absolutely not.” He replied, and I laughed. “I hate to gas you up like this, but that really was amazing.” I finally said honestly, resting my head on his bare shoulder.
He chuckled before grabbing my hand and stroking it gently. “Glad to be of service.” He replied, removing his hand from mine and instead wrapping his arm around me completely. “You turned into my little porn star there for a minute.” He followed it up by making high pitched moan sounds, mocking me and breaking the wave of silence that had followed his last comment. I laughed, lifting my head off of his shoulder and coming face-to-face with his goofy smile. “You ever use that against me in the future and I will bite your head off.” I replied, shoving his shoulder gently. “I won’t, swear. But you can use me again in the future if you wish. Y’know, in case you ever want to cum like that again.”
My jaw dropped at his filthy words, but I couldn’t help but feel heat flood to my core once again. Smirking, I raised one quizzical eyebrow. “One more?” I asked, and watched as his face was overtaken by a smirk that mirrored my own. “Lay down and put your legs on my shoulders.”
ᵕᵕᵕᵕ୨♡︎୧ᵕᵕᵕᵕ
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bumblingest-bee · 1 year ago
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you know the feeling when you discover a piece of media you've liked for ages has a fandom but it's an absolute shitshow that you've somehow, mercifully, been oblivious to the whole time? i think that experience is as close as we will ever get to experiencing lovecraftian horrors beyond our imagining
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dragon-huntress · 1 year ago
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